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International Week

04/03/99 The University of Students’ Newspaper No 959

International Societies Centre Spread Stingers win again! p16 Student International Week ‘99 Guilty of elcome to International Week 1999! This year, International Week has Indecent Wexploded in the Union and around the University, and continues until Sunday 7th March. This week of cultural festivity offers an opportunity for the Overseas societies to show Assault everyone - home and overseas students and staff - what makes their country special. The n ex-Surrey student has been found guilty week kicked off with International Super of indecently assaulting a first year girl in Sports Day (See report on back page), Arm Aher campus room. The man claimed he Wrestling and Disco in the Helyn Rose Bar, was sleepwalking when the incident took place on followed on Monday night by the International October 2nd 1997 Quiz in the Main Union Tuesday night saw the exhibitions set up in the Students’ Union by the Mathew Long, now 22 was in his final year at Overseas societies offering a trip around the Surrey while the victim, then 18 was just a few world with an insight into culture, traditions weeks into her course. They lived on same floor and some homemade cuisine. Friday night is but did not know each other well. the Big Event - the Gala Night. The jury heard that Long had come home from Here,the overseas societies perform a stage Cinderella’s night-club at 12:30 am and gone to show based around their country. This year bed. He said he was merry but not drunk. At promises to be better than ever. Tickets for this around 2:20 the girl, who had left her bedroom event are on sale in the Students’ Union at £5. door unlocked, was awakened by “someone sit- Saturday night hosts the International Disco in ting on my bed, stroking my shoulder.” The the Main Union - free entry! - with DJs and person then locked the door and returned to the music from around the world. The grand finale bed. ”He tried to touch my breast and kiss me. is Sunday Night Live, featuring Mambo I was telling him to leave me alone.” the girl Mambo, an african drumming combo, playing related. The man she recognised as Long left live and for free in your Union. This special after a few minutes. He awoke the next day barefacts issue tells you a bit about their coun- apparently unaware of what had happened. tries and celebrates our diverse student body. Hope you enjoy it. Above - The Mayor of Guildford enjoying Malaysian hospitality - photos by Ben McCormack Long was later arrested and denied the charges of Jay Darbar, Overseas Students’ Secretary, indecent assault. He said that he must have been Harriet Sims, Union President sleepwalking, a condition he had suffered from since childhood. He said he had only vague dreamy recollections of what happened. A lead- FREE MINI-BUS Service ing expert on sleepwalking supported this theory. Nevertheless Long was found guilty and was Trial Run, Monday-Friday 17.30-22.30 bailed. Sentence will be passed on March 18 For all Students and Staff Take the Expected route to include Gill Avenue (Varsity Centre), Tesco’s, Stoughton and Park Barn. Plunge Starting Monday 8th March Wednesday March 10th is No Smoking Day in support of This is independent of the Hazel Farm bus run this, the students’ Union will be giving out leaflets and cred- which will run as normal. it cards, crammed with tips on Leaflets including route information and operating stopping smoking, on the day. times available from the Every year over a million smokers join in on No Smoking Day and an estimat- Union reception from Monday 8th March. ed 40,000 quit. Why don’t you take the plunge This free service is offered by University Security. and join them!

News 1&2 n Letters 3 n Politics 4 n Union 5/6 n Entertainments 7 International Week 8/9 n Music 10/11 n What’s On/Films 12 n Personals 13 n Surrey Pride 15/16 ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:06 Page 2 (1,1)

2 04/03/99 International News in Brief The Week in Review by James Buller e start this weeks time nor the inclination, quite no chance to retain any dignity. review with yet frankly, to do this ourselves. So They were described as either Iran Set For Political Editor Change The dissidents were arrested Wanother brainwave we’re sending a call out to all melting away or hanging after spreading anti- Tom Sherwen from Jones & Masood ideas interested parties who wish to around to drown their sorrows. Reformers are leading in Iran's Communist sentiments, and inc. We feel this paper has partake in some ‘tabloid’ jour- The question we ask is what ([email protected]) first municipal elections for giving press conferences to come to a new stage in its nalism to boost an ever improv- else can you do once you have years. Women and independent journalists. They also promoted development, where it is time ing Bare Facts. (Interested? See been told you’ve lost? candidates are ahead in the the boycotting of elections Deputy Editor to introduce a new element (a contact details page 2) polls in many areas of the which they say are unfair. fresh beat to the pulse of Surrey So knowing how upset the loser Vacant Middle East country. news). What really makes the On a lighter…more serious candidates must feel, we’ve The men, include Vladimiro world of news media go round? note: did you read the ‘Ref kills written a song to cheer you all President Mohammed Khatami Roca, the son of a prominent Arts Editor Do you really think it’s the player’ article last week? How up. Take it away John. (Music brought in electoral change to Communist leader. Roca has wars in Kosovo, NUS propa- ridiculous is that? First the begins) Daniel Jones overhaul the political climate been kept in solitary confine- ganda and Union info which football player pulls a knife on ([email protected]) and cultural attitudes in the ment in a high security jail for binds us together… Or are we the ref (during game time) and “I heard the news today, oh presently centralised conserva- the past 18 months more interested in finding out the ref keeps cool enough to boy. Ben Davis army had just tive state. News Editor Campus gossip (accidents, pull out a revolver (hidden in won the war. A thousand can- Police have also rounded up fights in the union, societies in his socks?) and shoot the play- didates stood and stared, (as James Buller The results appear to be an out- several of the dissident's sup- trouble, which chocolate er in the chest. One can only Andy Blair too communication right rejection of the conserva- porters, in an effort to blunt any ([email protected]) machines don’t work to full draw the conclusion that this chair). They’d seen his face tive manifesto. Candidates sup- demonstrations outside the specifications etc etc etc). Real must happen on a regular before, nobody was really sure porting Khatami have taken 12 trial. Journalists were also news for the people who have occurrence. We worry about if he was in Housewiiiife. He’d Features Editor out of the 15 seats. barred from entering the court to live and work here. All that violence on the pitch here…but love to mar - ket ……. Bare Independent's have taken the house by a large cordon of Nick Walsh other news is all well and good when the ref has to start the Facts!” Thank you everyone, remaining three. The moder- police. Europe and America in its own way, but we also game ‘packin’ a nine mil ….. Good Night ! ([email protected]) ates are set to control Iran’s have both expressed concerns need some added flavour! that’s just ridiculous. capital city, Tehran with the about Cuba's handling of the By Samad Masood and former interior minister situation. Music Editor Now here’s the catch. Last point. The front page arti- Laurence Jones. Abdollah Nouri currently lead- Being hard working industrious cle of last weeks ‘Bare Facts’ Andrew Thomas ing the battle. Nouri was final years we have neither the gave the losers of the elections ([email protected]) forced to resign last year Land Mine Ban because of his reformist agen- Takes Effect The Iraqi Question: da. Conservative hard-liners Sports Editor The United Nations has What the world wants from Iraqis? even tired to get him barred Paul Cliff from these elections. announced the start of the inter- national landmine ban. ooking into the events to increase humanitarian aid. groups themselves. ([email protected]) However several major powers on the Iraqi stage, we Iraq was allowed to sell up to Iran’s state news agency has have yet to sign up to the ban. Lcan see that the United $5.2 billion-worth of oil every In the mean time, on top of the said that 25 million people Commercial Manager Nation’s policy towards Iraq six months to pay for food and ordinary miseries long faced by voted in the `landmark’ elec- With anti personnel landmines was never confused, as it is medicine, America suggested the Iraqis, there is the risk that tions, a turn out of 65%. There Vacant killing or maiming 25 thou- nowadays. In spite of the lifting the ceiling. But with American missiles will go were 300,000 candidates. With sands innocent civilians every American and British bombs Iraq’s dilapidated wells able to astray, as they did near Basra many women being supported, year the UN drew up a treaty in last December, Saddam pump only a $3 billion-worth in on January 25th, killing several Deputy Interior Minister 1997 to get the weapons out- Hussein’s security forces the most recent six-month peri- civilians as if they didn’t have Mostafa Tajzadeh said "This is lawed. 133 countries are plan- remain fully in control. od, and their capacity declining enough suffering! a giant step towards participa- ning to implement the ban but Recriminations over the UN by about 6% a year, the tion in the country's public so far only 12 have actually weapons inspectors ended with American gesture appear to be In Baghdad, the scenes of deso- administration." Deadline for Publication done so. Britain's Defence their withdrawal, and now, the meaningless. lation are more common place. Minister George Robertson Monday 10am Iraqi government trades rocket In the market, one gaunt old Rwandan Conflict recently announced that the UK fire with American and British An increase in oil production is man has nothing better to sell had destroyed it's entire stock aircraft patrolling the “no-fly- unlikely before March 2000 as than his own furniture in Refuses To Go Away of landmines. "Never again Bare Facts is an editorially independent zones”. a result of latest bombardment exchange for a little money to Five people are reported dead newspaper, published by the University will a British soldier use an that targeted also the oil indus- buy some food to keep him of Surrey Students' Union in Uganda after rebels attacked anti-personnel landmine" he Communications Office. The latest UN establishment of try, the only income for the alive. How can we imagine life a tourist party. 13 of the tourists The views expressed within the paper said to the House of Commons. three new committees that are Iraqi government and in turn there? Where a whole chicken are those of individual authors, and do were taken hostage by the He went on to describe them as not necessarily represent the views of charged with reviewing com- for the starving people. is no longer affordable by many heavily armed gunmen. While the Editor, the Editorial Board, the "ineffective" and called on prehensively all Iraqi dealings many people! Sugar is a luxury University of Surrey Students' Union or 7 managed to escape in the other countries to follow the University of Surrey. with the UN was a very proce- Matters may come to a head item! A whole generation born confusion, the party's guide and This publication may not be reproduced Britain's example. in whole or in part, stored in any form, dural ruse to bypass the dead- long before the UN decides under sanctions that have never four others were killed in the copied or distributed, without the express lock in the Security Council. anything. America is pressing known the taste of good food, crossfire. The group which permission of the publisher. America, China and Russia are Russia wanted the inspection on with its plan to have Iraqi never had enough medicine and All submissions must include the author's included several Britons was among those who have yet to name and Union or Staff Number. body formally abolished, opposition groups in exile top- died because the lack of it! on a trip to see gorillas. Submission is no guarantee of join the accord. The USA America insist on keeping it ple President Hussein. Martin publication. expects to subscribe in 2006. Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles involved. But, what about the Indyk, an assistant secretary of What we would like to know is: Hutu's from Uganda's neigh- will not be published. President Bill Clinton said that Iraqi people who suffered, and state, has been touting the idea What the world wants from the Bare Facts reserves the right to edit bour Congo have been blamed until then, American forces submissions. are still suffering after years of round the Gulf States, with Iraqi people! for the cross border raids which need landmines to defend the war and sanctions? It is true remarkably little success, and have increased in frequency border between North and that the one measure all parties amazingly without any enthusi- by Ahmed Ameen Printed by lately. The Hutu's have been South Korea. East End Offset (TU), agree on in principle is an effort asm from the Iraqi opposition banished from Rwanda after Bow, London, E3 3LT they committed genocide of There are tens of million of Fancy a snog???? 50,000 Tutsis in the country. landmines scattered all over the Now they are fighting back by world. With 6 million in © USSU Communications his year the Ents and kiss to their heart’s con- ambushing and abducting peo- Cambodia, more in Bosnia and Office 1998 Committee has an unmiss- tent.... “Form an orderly queue ple from Rwanda and Uganda. yet more left behind on other Table challenge to put to the gents”- “Calm down ladies” - “A former battlefields. The job of students of the University of bargain at 50p” Rebels attacked a similar expe- removing them is dangerous Surrey..... Do you dare to wrap So:- Do you think you have the dition last August. Three of the and immensely laborious e. It Bare Facts your face around fellow human stamina to snog all night? Would hostages they took: two is hoped that the ban will pre- beings in a depraved snogathon you rather form a snogathon Union House Swedes and a New Zealander vent the job getting any larger. manner, and all for the sake of team and run around the Union University Of Surrey were never seen again. It is charideee mate!?! marauding innocent victims unclear as to which nationali- Guildford We are in the process of planning whilst raising much needed cash In a ceremony to celebrate the ties have been captured this treaty becoming international Surrey this year’s big Comic Relief for good causes? time. GU2 5XH fundraiser for the 12th March If this sounds like your ‘cup of law, UN secretary-general Kofi and thought that as this fortu- tea’ then either bring your ideas Four Men In Havana Annan said “The battle ahead is to make this treaty full effec- Tel: 01483 259275 nately/unfortunately coincides (however unsuitable they may with the Union Drag and Fetish be) to the Arts & Ents Four Cubans are on trial for tive not just in law but also in Fax: 01483 534749 Friday Night Out there had to be Committee each Monday at speaking out against the coun- implementation. Not just in the an element of the risque in there 6.15pm in the Grant Mitchell try's communist regime. The capitals of the signatories but email: somewhere!!! Room, or e-mail the Ents trial is being held behind closed also in the fields and forests [email protected] We are seeking volunteers for the Chairperson on mu71la@sur- doors amid international calls where mines still exist; not just 12th March to assume the snog- rey.ac.uk. for the prisoners release. in principle but in practice.” ging throne on the main stage Lucy Andrews, Ents Chair ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:06 Page 3 (1,1)

04/03/99 3 Your Letters - Quoracy? Hairtec Dear Bare Facts, interpretation of the clause, the comes to passing the revised approach seems to be that the constitution later this year. To quote the Union Chairman result of absolutely any vote is at last week’s Student Council valid, even when the meeting is This hardly seems the best way 24 Madrid Road (who was himself quoting the as close to being quorate as to run a Students Union. constitution), “The business William Hague is close to (01483)440414 transacted before a meeting being Prime Minister. So long The way to achieve quoracy at [the Student Council] is as nobody mentions the dread- meetings is not by forcing declared inquorate is valid and ed word that starts with “In” already busy club & society Shampoo & Blow Dry from £9.00 binding.” That seems fair and ends with “quorate”, the committee members to attend - enough - there’s no reason why sky is the limit. that only results in a nodding Cutting incl. Shampoo from £11.00 earlier valid business should be shop full of people who would Gents cut incl. shampoo from £8.50 thrown out just because a meet- So far this year, the hope- rather not be there. There is ing becomes inquorate towards nobody-says-that-word policy only one way to achieve quora- Semi permanent Tint from £22.00 the end. has helped us to approve the cy - give us the chance to Permanent Tint £ from £25.00 job descriptions for sabbatical debate something we actually But lately we have seen this officers, and get the go-ahead give a toss about, and give us Highlights/Lowlights from £35.00 clause being used to cover up to pursue lucrative tobacco more than a few days notice! Permanent Wave from £32.50 inadequate attendance at sponsorship deals. No doubt we increasingly tedious Student will be crossing our fingers and Yours sincerely, KMS/Fudge Treatment from £3.00 Councils. Using a rather liberal shutting our mouths when it Andy Gale Sets & Blow Drys included in all

Dear Editor, of the students (that’s actually was inquorate but this was han- Perming & Colouring Services, but excluding Cutting 0.32% voting YES and 0.3% dled by the Chairperson most 1 am writing to express my voting NO plus one absten- surreptitiously. The minutes of shock at the outrageous traves- tion). I expect there are a lot the previous meeting conve- Reduced Prices for Students ty that has become the Student more students than 6000, so niently did not have the usual Council meeting. So where you work it out. It is utter mad- “Motion Passed’ next to the were the announcements about ness that 0.63% of the Student motion in question. Apparently Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive Student Council last night populace can decide for the if you disagree with his inter- (25.2.99) ? All I could find was majority. That’s why there is a pretation of the constitution one miserly line on the front section in the Union core con- you have to trudge over to page of Bare Facts which came stitution devoted to Quorum Harriet Sims’ office as the only Lloyds out on the same day as the which sets out how it is decided copy in living existence is care- Chemist meeting - hardly enough time that the vote will be representa- fully guarded for the constitu- to make arrangements to go tive. I quote “However the tional review. As communica- even IF you see it. Hardly business of the meeting will not tions officer maybe you can tell Madrid “communications’ is it ? be valid unless quorum is me why it is that there isn’t a The Astolat obtained when a vote is called.” copy of the current constitution GPA Road The majority of those present for all to see in a publicly avail- were only there because they Quorum is NOT someone able place e.g. the Union web Apollo Video Store Newsagent were either officers of the jumping up and shouting site, at the front desk or even x Hairtec Students Union or because they Quorum! but is a simple fact of the library ? When and where are a representative of a club or how many people are there. was the constitution review Oh Dear - The NHS Solution society and have been coerced We know exactly how many announced ? into going. A great way to get people were there - 38 and ohn Dear (18 February) per year and rising, we know incomes (say, over £22,500 per numbers up - force all the peo- therefore quorum was definite- 1 wonder why people don’t may be correct in his asser- that throwing money at state annum per household for the ple who actually take an inter- ly not obtained. Last night, the want to go to Student Council Jtion that “the NHS is in a institutions merely creates big- first person, and an extra est in the union to go - and chairperson decided that in the anymore, when the officials faffing mess”, but his sugges- ger state institutions, requiring £5,000 for each additional per- penalise them if they don’t. interests of getting on with the can ride roughshod over the tion as to the solution of this even more money. And nor is son) to fill up NHS waiting business of the student’s union, core constitution at any time problem is not really a solution the Liberal war-cry of ‘tax the lists. If they all subsequently Anyway, for the benefit of your another clause from the consti- they please and the few can at all. rich!’ anything other than a took out private healthcare readers who don’t know tution applied - “The business decide the fate of the many. It’s gross abdication of responsibil- plans, healthcare premiums When the NHS was created, it ity. Why should ‘the rich’ would tumble. Thus those who because they didn’t have the transacted before a meeting is no surprise that 97% of stu- was initially successful in (whoever they are), who could afford it would free up luxury of deciding whether to declared inquorate is valid and dents voted yes to NUS. They answering the questions posed already pay more tax than any- the NHS, gaining high-quality go to last months Student binding”. Read this second probably thought that NUS by 1940’s British healthcare one else, and receive less back private healthcare at the same Council, there was a motion quote carefully - while the would actually help them do needs. But Bevan’s nationalised from the state, pay extra for a time, for those who couldn’t. which was voted through on a meeting is quorate, the business something about tuition fees. creation was too cumbersome, health service which they Accident and Emergency units majority of ONE single vote by is valid but that first meeting Or something. They’re f***ed. bureaucratic and inflexible to rarely use? and Casualty departments 38 people. I conservatively never was. Yours, deal with any problem for would still cater for all, but the estimate that there are 6000 stu- Lyndon Hill which it was not specifically We need a re-evaluation of the decrease in other demands dents at this university, so this 1 wrote to the Chairperson to designed. Mr Dear seems too NHS’s purpose. Firstly, in the would mean that nurses could interested in praising “Labour’s case of emergency or accident, be paid the £30,000+ per motion was decided by 0.63% point out that the first meeting most venerated government” or the NHS should be there to pro- annum which they deserve, rather Labour’s only venerated vide the best treatment in the new equipment could be Comstitutional Review government- and spouting trite fastest time, regardless of who bought, and hospitals better absurdities about Baroness that person might be. But sec- maintained. There is more than s you may know, we arrangements. We are hop- come and see me in my Thatcher to notice that the mess ondly, there is the question of enough money going into the are currently work- ing to present the document office during normal work- in which the NHS now finds planned operations. Every per- NHS - but it needs to be ing on developing a to Student Council on ing hours - my door is usu- itself is not due to money or son who uses private healthcare focused on the people who A mismanagement. What we frees up an NHS theatre or bed need it most. new constitution for the Thursday of Week 10 - 6pm ally open. have is an NHS whose structure for someone else. At any given Union. Based on the NUS in Lecture Theatre D. To Alternatively, you can has guaranteed its inherent and time, there are thousands of pri- This is all unlikely to happen, comprehensive failure to adapt vate beds laying unused - in because it offends Bevan’s Monday week 8 - 8th March: 9:30am in the Presidents’ Office to new technology, a soaring contrast, NHS beds are in des- principle of free healthcare for population and changing demo- perately short supply. When all. It is my contention that Thursday week 8 - 11th March: 6-8pm in the Presidents’ Office graphics. welfare payments are made principles come at a price, and only to those who are in need of Bevan’s is no exception. The Monday week 10 - 22nd March: 9:30am in the Presidents’ Office Mr Dear’s shopping-spree solu- them, why should NHS beds, simple fact is that Britain can tion remains borne of pure opti- and therefore state funds, be no longer afford all of her prin- mism. To advocate pushing up made available to people quite ciples, and must make what model, it will be written in give everyone the chance to phone me on ext.9227 or income tax “a little” is able to pay for their own treat- Tony Blair calls a ‘hard clear English and easily have your input, there will e-mail me at admirably selfless of him, but ment? Free healthcare is not choice’- would we rather have understandable. The struc- be a series of meetings open [email protected]. will neither raise enough cash, our right- it is our privilege, and a perfect principle which is ture of the Student Council to any students who want to I look forward to your ideas. nor ensure its unencumbered should be a safety net rather flawed in practise, or a flawed is up for review, as well as come along: passage into NHS coffers. than a comfort blanket. The principle which is more practi- Union Officers, Union If you can’t make any of the Harriet Sims Moreover, with the welfare sys- government must withdraw the cal by far? meetings and financial timesset out below , you can tem now costing £100 billion rights of those on decent Simon Ashall, ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:06 Page 4 (1,1)

4 04/03/99 Blair Oversteps the Mark Political Comment by Mike Ashworth Bringing Power to the People? ast Tuesday Tony Blair deemed sensible to prepare, but polling day those who make the ast week, a man spoke Devolution allows the expres- divided. Secondly, the concept started the pro-EMU before the government starts economic decisions that affect on the radio about com- sion of individual national or of parliamentary sovereignty. L(European Monetary spending money, wouldn’t it be our lives?” Lmitting “national sui- regional identities - for exam- Basically, this is the often cited Union) drive in earnest when wise to know if there will be a cide”. Was he a member of a ple, the Scottish parliament will “problem” with Europe, that he announced the National return on their investment? Whether we like it or not, this strange cult believing Jesus allow a region of the UK the right place to make deci- Changeover Plan, a scheme to plan is as much a reality as the will return in a spaceship on (which never supported the sions is Westminster. If power prepare the country for the sin- In the Commons William threat of the Euro. By embark- New Year’s Eve 1999 and that Conservative government that is devolved to the regions, that gle currency. Hague leapt to his feet as Tony ing on this changeover plan we must all die to join him? ruled it for 18 years) the right to sovereignty is questioned. Blair sat down and immediate- now the government is effec- No. make law and spend money in The bulk of the document is ly proclaimed the plan a tively brainwashing the elec- He was a founder member of some policy areas as it feels to Ironically, devolution of the aimed at ensuring businesses “National Handover Plan” sug- torate. The government seems the ‘Campaign for an be appropriate for the benefit of regions would actually bring and the City are ready for the gesting that the document was desperate for that elusive ‘Yes’ independent Guernsey’. Yes its citizens. Britain into line with a Euro. It outlines possible prob- but a ploy to soften the public vote and nothing is going to really. And the “national sui- European ideal- a Europe of the lems for firms of all sizes and attitude towards the Euro in stop them reaching for that cide”? You’ve guessed it: Devolution also allows for the regions. The aim is that areas sees computer technology as readiness for the referendum. A Holy Grail but, they know that Britain’s role in the European preservation of minority lan- smaller than the nation states the biggest quandary, with fair comment given the under- as things stand it will take noth- Union. Clearly, when the UK guages: the Welsh assembly and with specific local needs some estimates making the tones of inevitability in the ing short of a miracle to win the tax haven with the highest pro- will be bilingual and even the will group together to solve problem 3-5 times greater than plan. proposed referendum, so it is portion of millionaires per Northern Irish assembly uses problems in a “Committee of the Millennium bug. never too early to churn out the square mile decides it would two official languages: English the Regions” in a similar way Cheers rang from the propaganda. rather be independent than go and Ulster-Scots and for any to the way the nation states Undercutting the process of Conservative benches as Hague deeper into an integrated budding William Hagues out operate in the Council of democracy, this report aims to went on to further denounce the 30 years after decimalisation, Europe, there are important there who relish a linguistic Ministers (an institution that cut out the middle-man and report while reminding Blair the country will decide if it issues to consider: just what it challenge, Hansard will be could eventually be phased allows the government to spend that the British public were wants to be part of the Euro is Europe means to British available in both. out). It is, as yet, unclear millions of our money convert- capable of thinking for them- and, with public opinion largely people - and relative power whether the SNP advocate an ing governmental finance sys- selves. in favour of keeping Sterling, within the UK itself. Devolution was advocated by independent Scotland in tems. this report, as much as any- the Labour party for London Europe intend it to be involved Criticisms of the New Labour thing, is an attempt to redress European integration is such an and the English regions in 1994 as a self-governing region or as Not content at stopping there, propaganda machine came the balance and sway public important and complex issue (although strangely not for a nation state- although region- the report goes on to explain from all angles with Tony Benn opinion. But looking beyond that it deserves more discussion England as a whole…). Since al status would certainly be how the changes would occur, asking; “Will you make it clear the hype, this is clearly nothing than this article could give it. then, although London is well very forward-thinking. drawing on the experiences of that when the information pub- but a scheme to effectively Instead, the related issue: devo- on its way to getting a mayor decimalisation 28 years ago. lished by the Government goes cheat democracy and force an lution and the UK regions. In and an assembly, there have As regards policy-making pow- But why do we need this out, every elector is told that if unwilling country into an recent years several areas of the been statements that the gov- ers for the regions, the real report? Britain adopting the Britain is a member of the sin- untested and potentially disas- UK have expressed a desire for ernment is “not committed” to issue that has so upset the man single currency could be only 4 gle currency, they will lose the trous venture. independence or devolution: regional assemblies in England. from the Campaign for an years away and so it could be right to elect or to remove on Scotland, Wales, London, In fact, devolution to regional independent Guernsey is Cornwall, Tooting, the entire level in the UK can actually European Monetary Union. North-east of England and now seem a scary prospect, particu- Monetary Union is an issue for What do you think about Library services? Guernsey- there are move- larly if you are a non-Tory liv- which final decision-making ments in each of theses areas ing in the South-east… power would remain at for less Westminster-based Westminster level, no matter he Library is carrying Survey Teams will be work- gift vouchers. control. It is feasible that, with the envi- whether devolution covers just out its first major sur- ing in strategic places This is your opportunity to ronment of constitutional the nations of the UK or all of Tvey to find out how around the Campus to ask a make your views known to Devolution is not independence change that now exists, the regions. Independence is satisfied students are with representative sample of help shape Library planning but it is a kind of political self- Scotland and perhaps Wales the only option for him if he current Library services and Undergraduates and Taught and policy making and to determination and therefore will eventually have full inde- really wishes to avoid EMU. facilties and what we should Postgraduates to complete a improve services to make can be used either as an end in pendence from England. Even Considering what politics in be doing to make them bet- survey questionnaire. the Library work better for itself or as a first step to inde- English regional devolution is the Surrey region is like, don’t ter. you. So watch out ...... pendence. An example of this possible, eventually. There are be surprised to see a Everyone who does will is its extremely important role several sticking points, though. ‘Movement for an independent in the Good Friday agreement Firstly, the monarchy, which Surrey’ representative cam- During the week 15 - 19 have their name entered into Sue Telfer in Northern Ireland. would be in serious difficulty if paigning round here soon… March, Week 9, Library a prize draw worth £50 of Service Quality Librarian the territory over which the Queen is sovereign was to be Jo Keech The ZACK GILPIN Show Reserves Action Update arch 1999 Thank SOME OF THESE DATES OR TASKS MA Y you to all the vol- OCCASIONALLY CHANGE. PLEASE TELE- Munteers that have helped us on the reserves PHONE BEFORE EACH TASK FOR CON- throughout 1998. We have FIRMATION. achieved excellent results and I hope that you will all Tasks Location start noticing the changes as March you go back to reserves you have worked on in the past. Tues 2nd Hedge Planting, Bagmoor Common In the next few months we Weds 3rd Hedge Planting, Bagmoor Common are mainly concentrating on Thur 4th Reed Bed Management, our coppicing programme Tues 9th Coppice Protection, with the help of Jonathon, Weds 1Oth Hedge Planting, Cucknell’s Wood our new Woodland Project Thurs 11th Chalk Grassland Management, Officer. These tasks will be Tues 16th Stream/Path Clearance, Hedgecourt led by Jon, Rachel or me Rythmic Heat Bouncy Beat Weds 17th Rhody re-growth control, and everyone is welcome! Thurs 18th Rhody re-growth control, Gracious Pond At the Harlequin, Redhill on We meet at the Trust HQ Friday 23rd April 1999 (Pirbright) between 9 and Tues 23rd Step Repair/Construction, Moor Park 9.30 and set out to the Weds 24th Reed Bed Management, Hedgecourt 9-11pm reserves at about 10. 00am. Tues 30th Finish steps/Cherry laurel control, Moor Park Tickets £15 Pick-ups from Brookwood Weds 31st Chalk Grauland, Scale Chalk Pit Station can be arranged if All ticket holders are entitled to a free invitation to appear in my next necessary. music video. A 1/500 chance of winning a return ticket to California, When we’re out on task you are free to work at your own Please call Sarah or pace. We have plenty of breaks and there are opportunities USA. Harlequin, Redhill BOX OFFICE Rachel (01483 488055) if to have a walk around the reserve to find out about its you would like to help with tel: 01737 765 547 wildlife and management. All you need is old, warn any of these tasks. See you email Zack on [email protected] all soon! clothes, Wellingtons or boots and a packed lunch! ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:07 Page 5 (1,1)

04/03/99 5

Another event planned is a triv- SHOW ME THE MONEY! ia quiz, to win free tickets to a Union event. Comment slips Do you want to know how your We want to show you how your will be available for you to tell beer money is spent? money is spent within the us what you think, and there’s How are Union Entertainments Union. All week, there will be Student Council on the planned? bar promotions, special events Thursday - 25th March, 6pm in Why is the Graduation Ball so and a mini-magazine, full of Lecture Theatre D. information and facts about how expensive? For further information or to the Union is run. An exhibition If you want to find out the find out how to get involved, will be organised throughout the come to our next meeting - answers to these questions and week in the Union and there will Friday 5th March at 4pm in the many more, watch out for the be drinks and food promotions Presidents’ Office. Otherwise, first ever Show Me the Money on each day. We are hoping to keep your eyes peeled for the event in your Union. hold a debate about Commercial cheapest ever bargain basement Services, with a guest speaker Show Me the Money Week will week the Union has ever take place Monday to Friday from another Students’ Union or the NUS Services Committee. known. during week 10 of this semester. Harriet Sims, President

Would YOU turn down the opportunity to receive FREE MONEY? Are you a FULL-TIME UNDERGRADUATE UK student? OR a FULL-TIME POSTGRADUATE UK student who earns less than £8955 per annum? Do you live OFF SITE? Is your weekly rent £45 OR MORE (excluding bills)? If you can answer YES to these questions, then you are probably eligible to receive FREE MONEY to help towards your accommodation costs. Why not come to the Accommodation Office on WEDNESDAY afternoons from 1.30 to 2.30 to pick up an application form or just to find out more about this scheme. There are no strings attached... Honest!

Green Soc Johnny and Deano Who? only 5% being recycled.) Now, GreenSoc is committed to pro- Green Week The University of Surrey Green apart from being polluting, viding three boxes (kindly Hopefully all the university Society is a recently resurrect- inefficient in terms of energy donated by Tescos) for each Court recycling boxes will be ed, and now resurgent, group use and just bloody stupid in kitchen in University Court (the installed before Thursday of for people who take an interest general, there is one major court nearest the recycling Week 8 (March 11) because that in environmental concerns. problem with this method of bins) so that the residents can is the first day of the University waste disposal: we’re running collect glass, paper/magazines Green Week. GreenSoc will be out of holes in the ground! As and mixed tins. If this trial is a arranging special talks and What? one of the top universities in success then it will be excellent Although interested in a wide competitions etc throughout the the country at the forefront of evidence to support the argu- range of environmental issues, rest of Week 8 and into the mid- new technology the University ment that the University should GreenSoc will be focusing its dle of Week 9. The festivities should be leading the way provide all courts with such attention this semester in pro- will reach their climax on when it comes to “green” waste facilities close at hand. In order moting recycling on campus Wednesday of Week 9 (until treatment: not lagging behind. for it to work we need the coop- and reducing the amount of 2.00 am!) when Silly Night in eration and the commitment of domestic waste generated by the Union goes green. More the University Court residents the University which is sent What can you recycle?: details on all that can be found to make the effort to fill the- straight to the rubbish tip. We Glass (clear, green or brown), in the green Barefacts (that’s an boxes and to then take them to eventually hope to gain the paper and magazines, drinks anagram of Brats Cafe, you the recycling bins and empty cooperation of the Union, cans, washed up soup tins etc know) next week. them. Senate House and Guildford and cleaned tin foil. Borough Council (the local The best way to support Waste Collection authority) but GreenSoc is to join it. It may be Where?: That said, if for any reason the firstly we will seek to gain the a distinctly proactive society Beyond car park 5 running residents are unable to go and support of the most important but it’s also a very friendly and alongside the station at the empty the boxes once they’ve people of all - you the students. Yorkie’s Bridge end of campus social society. We’re always filled them with bottles etc, glad to receive new members, (for all of the above materials); then they can phone the and along the road above the so if you too take an interest in Why? GreenSoc number given on the environmental issues or are just The vast majority of all UK Union for glass; and by the side of the boxes and one of our at a loose end on Tuesday household waste is disposed of shop, the union main door and members will go and collect it evenings then come down and in landfill sites. various court receptions for for them. Now we can’t say meet us in lecture theatre J (Approximately 90% in 1995, drinks cans only. fairer than that, can we? from 6:30 onwards. ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:07 Page 6 (1,1)

6 04/03/99 House-mates or House-monsters? Chancellors Logo Competition

ust as important as finding s part of the redevelopment of Chancellors, we will be adopting a new logo for a house to live in next year the bar. If you would like a stab at designing one yourself, then we are offering Jis the issue of finding peo- Adinner for two in the Chancellors restraunt if your design is chosen. Please read ple to live with. Some people the following guidelines before starting. Closing Date is Wednesday 10th March. Please prefer to organise a group of return your entries to bare facts. mates and then go through the whole house-hunting debacle together, while others opt for 1. It will be used on Menus, Headed Paper, booking forms, Napkins, as getting a good house and then signage in the main entrances & windows- therefore needs to be using this as a bait to tempt oth- uncomplicated and easily transferabble. ers. There are always plenty of 2. It needs to portray an image of high street, trendy and fashionable-but students who find it hard to not to be out of date too quickly locate a group of other people 3. It needs to say quality and service with similar financial means or interior decorating tastes and who decide to strike out alone, music the loudest or who Any of these above combina- answering some of the hun- bought the last lot of toilet tions can work or fail, but it is dreds of advertisements for paper. worth agreeing some sort of “house-mate wanted” which formal organisation for the run- appear around the university 3. Living with mixed-sex ning of your house before you from about March. For those groups. all move in and start trying to who find the whole idea of Many people think that they will wedge your worldly posses- asking others to live with them prefer the balance of two girls sions into the big front bedroom completely overwhelmingly versus two boys and on one hand before anyone else can. scary here are a few words of it is great to have someone Deciding who gets each room wisdom to help. around to mend your bike in should be sorted before you exchange for you sewing on even think of moving in, and 1. Living with your best mate. their buttons, however on the you may not like it but someone Although this is usually the other hand we have all learnt is going to have to live in the Catering Opening times best option because you already from sharing a floor for a year box-room and it may just have know that you have similar that one sex is generally not very to be you. Hey, it is a tough HALL RESTAURANT and VEGGIE RESTAURANT tastes and are prepared to make good at doing their washing up, world. Cleaning is often a big Set to close on Monday 26 April 1999 allowances for each other’s dif- while the other will never fully sticking point (quite literally). If Will be developed into one large restaurant on the first floor of the new complex. Plans to open, under ferences (that is what best accept you into their inner circle you find any fluorescent fungus a different name, in the week beginning Monday 30 August 1999 mates are all about after all), of friends with which they share in the bathroom or the kitchen living with even your very titillating gossip, or get used to bench growls at you every HALL BAR bestest friend can have unex- the fact that you prefer to use morning it may be time to Set to close on Monday 26 April 1999 pected problems. For example their shampoo to your own. organise a cleaning rota. Will be extended and re-styled into a new cafe bar. Plans to open, under a different name, in the week their huge collection of Uneven houses (e.g three girls Nobody should have to put up beginning Monday 30 August 1999 Boyzone CDs may not be a and one boy) also have their own with someone else’s disgusting problem when they live in Stag set of problems, however some mess in a shared house so don’t LIBRARY RESTAURANT Hill and you are in Twyford people are much happier living worry about using any method Will provide evening catering for students for 5 weeks from Monday 26 April Will be closed to stu- Court, but they suddenly have a with members of the opposite available to subtly persuade dents and staff for 14 weeks from Monday 31 May 1999 Will reopen to students and staff on 6 whole new significance when sex (I am sure that there is a others to clean up. Making the September 1999 blasting out from the room next thrilling thesis just waiting to be gruesome truth about their door to your’s somewhere on written on the subject). Just one habits public in Barefacts is one SANDWICH BAR Manor road. Best friends can final point when it comes to option; “John, your socks Temporary take-away snack bar to be set up in the Lecture Theatre building from Monday 26 April also be a problem when trying mixed-sex groups, never, under have been in my casserole for approximately 18 weeks to find other people to share any circumstances (including dish for two weeks now, with you both. After all, you alcohol influence, lust, or bore- please do something about it.” CHANCELLOR’S RESTAURANT may be able to put up with fact dom) feel tempted to mix sex Bar, Restaurant and Table d’hôte dining service set to close for refurbishment on Friday 26 March that your chosen mate has an with your house-mates. It will Now that you are all complete- 1999. Will be re-styled and refurbished into a student-oriented pub-style restaurant. Plans to open, excessively loud and obnoxious only end in tears and in-breed- ly dreading the year ahead I under the same name, in the week beginning Monday 10 May. wind problem, however whose ing. would just like to give you one side do you take when your final piece of very basic advice. WATES HOUSE will continue to provide the following services for staff and postgraduate students: other house-mates complain? 4. Completely random Be sure that someone makes a Snacks and Light Refreshments, Self-Service Restaurant Table d’hôte dining, Bar people. note of your new address 2. Friends on your course. before you charge off full of A highly interesting and unpre- This is often a good option as enthusiasm on your holidays. dictable situation. This could you can share books and lecture Your parents will not be The role of the Chaplain lead to any of the above prob- notes and you always have amused if they have to drive lems and a whole shed load someone to walk to campus around the suburbs of t all started with a survey of more. It could also have the your parents: the genes the cul- These can be “big” questions. with. Although if any of you Guildford looking for a house the Chaplaincy last potential to work out quite well ture, the values, the characteris- If you are finding yourself share a competitive edge this with a brown front door and a Semester. A hundred or so if you enter the arrangement I tics you have acquired along spending time with any of can cause friction which is only scruffy lawn, because this is all students and staff selected at with an open mind and accept the way from people around them, and they keep on rolling accentuated by the fact that you you remember of the property random were asked what they the fact that as well has having to you and from the environment around in your head, it could be live together. Competition is that you have only seen once, thought the Chaplains were put up other people’s annoying in which you have grown up. that a visit to the Chaplains fine when it comes to essay some six months before. here for. Practically everyone habits you are also going to have This includes the spiritual envi- would be useful. We are here grades but it takes on a distinct- gave “Welfare” as the main rea- to recognise a few of your own ronment. Sometimes to listen. It may be that the ly unhealthy hue when it Lindsay Endean son. and do something about them. University is the first place answers could be found by extends to who can play their where you have stopped to ask coming to a discussion group, Now of course we are con- yourself the question, “Am I or by going to a religious cerned with your well-being being my own person?” Service. Or that may be the last while you are at University. thing you feel you want to do! We try to complement the work “Where am I?” can be about Whatever it is, the Chaplains of the other Care Services on deeper things than just the are here to help. campus. But the main role of University, the Department or the Chaplains is to help you residence. It can include We all need to keep the spiritu- with your spiritual journey thoughts about career, what al side of our lives in good through life! What exactly does plans there are beyond the aca- order. Sometimes it helps this mean? Well, one way to demic course, “Where do I plan greatly to discuss this with oth- answer this would be to say we to be in five years time?” or ers. This is what the Chaplains are here to help you with the even, “Where am I on my spir- are here for! Why not call into questions: “Who am I?, Where itual journey?” Bourne Flat, or call us on am I? and What am I? If these 2754. It might make all the dif- look too simple, the next step is “What am I?” is about the kind ference to the way you operate. to do a bit of unpacking. of person I am, how I come Expect the unexpected! across to other people, what “Who am I?” is about what kind of friendships and rela- ROBIN HARVEY makes you who you are, the tionships I form; what I stand Anglican Chaplain things you have inherited from for. ed990304.qxd 03/03/9917:07Page7(1,1) 04/03/99 Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 13th 12th 11th 10th 9th 8th 7th 6th 5th white rainbow Unlucky Object;Ablackand nion andlivetobe...... shed, setupahippycommu- lately. Sorunawaytoagarden are becomingtoodemanding Work andloyaltiestofriends 21st April-21stMay “Europe!.” Unlucky Object;Aloudcryfor got tothebaryet!). shortage oflager(wehaven’t room. don’t worry, there’s no the bigwhitegodofbath- becoming alittletoofaithfulto and youronown.You are with you.Praisethetoiletgod Smile andtheworldsmiles 21at March-20thApril neighbour. Unlucky Object;Anirritable ate, we’vefoundthishelps.) hand movementsasappropri- “Calm down,calmdown.”(add Adapt ascouserattitude- - domestictensionisatitspeak. broken likethefirstcrockery...” (To besung)“Saucepansare 20th February-20thMarch sun 12.1012.4513.3014.4515.1515.5017.4520.00 mon-thurs 12.1012.4514.4515.1517.4520.00 fri 12.0013.4514.3016.1517.1519.4522.00 fri-sat 12.50(notsun)15.1017.3019.5522.20 sat 10.4511.30 12.0013.0013.4514.3015.30 sun-thurs 13.15(notsun)15.5018.2020.50 12.45 13.3515.1516.0017.4518.3020.00 sun-thurs 12.1514.0016.0019.0020.00 Fri Mar5th-ThursMarch11th 1999 fri/mon-thurs 12.3015.1518.0020.45 fri-sat 12.4513.4517.0019.3021.00 TAURUS mon-thurs 13.0015.3018.1521.00 sun-thurs 12.0514.5017.4020.30 sun-thurs 12.1515.0517.5520.45 PISCES fri 12.1014.4017.1019.4022.10 sat 12.5515.00,sun12.0013.55 ARIES fri-sat 12.1515.1018.3021.20 fri-sat 13.1516.0018.5021.50 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK fri-sat 21.00,sun-thurs19.45 16.15 17.1519.4522.00 wed 14.0017.0020.15 sat 17.1019.4022.10 0870 50007 Shakespeare inLove sat-sun 18.0020.45 sat 12.00,sun12.05 The ThinRedLine Primary Colours This Year’s Love Life isBeautiful sun 15.3021.00 Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda You’ve gotmail Urban Legend Patch Adams A Bug’s Life Jack Frost Sun 18.15 Madeline Beloved Unlucky Object;Gianttoes. life beginsafterfourdoubles. and enjoyyourself.Remember add). 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Now OFUbringshislatestoffering, Romance andNaturalBornKillers. has alsowriteenKillingZoe,True classic QuentinTarantino films,he Reservoir DogsandPulpFicionare Sunday 7thMarch, Jackie Brown - Unlucky Object;Ahelicopter. make yourfriendsjealous. spread yourgoodnewsand and aKing.Makethemostofit, with anace,thefiveofhearts cards foryouthisweek,along together MrT.” Success isonthe “I loveitwhenaplancomes 24th October-22ndNovember favourite sweetparty. a comedressedasyour Unlucky Object;amicrochipat hell ofalotmorehappy. dict youwill....besick,buta chocolate andbeerwepre- Treat yourselftoloadsof hat onthewrongwayround. and smileasthesunhasgothis paste realllyworks.Cheerup Wow...wow...wow...that tooth- 24th September-23rdOctober of yourears! worked brain,itsfloppingout Unlucky Object;.anover and back.... aereobics: stretch,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 You mayneedtogobrain whip isformyhorse...honest). are beingexperimental(the minded towardsfriendswho You’re beingverynarrow sandwich outofthewindow) can fly(Ijustthrewmybacon Contrary topopularbeliefpigs 24th August-23rdSeptember 8pm, LTG SCORPIO VIRGO LIBRA O FU and innovativevisuals. includes typicalTarantino dialogue the 155minutesrunningtime,it to keeptheviewerinterestedduring Tarantino useshisdirectingtalents outsmart everyone. 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8 04/03/99 International Week ‘99

The African-Caribbean Society The Arabic Society

he African-Caribbean come of such has seen us win Society is an ‘interesting’ Gala Night performances on a Tsociety. I refer not solely number of occasions where we to interesting parties in the union blend Caribbean and African but to an ‘interesting’ blend of affairs to give everyone ‘a taste Arabs is the Spain, to sub-Saharan Africa, to cultures and backgrounds. Many of many nations’ name given the subcontinent of India, and to societies house people from The society has been blessed to the Madagascar and the Malay either a particular country or a with talented young men and ancient and Archipelago. The cultural and few countries within the same women over the years. present-day scientific contributions of the region usually having similari- We continue to be ever involved inhabitants Arabs to Western civilisation ties in culture or religion. in sporting activities within the of the Arabian Peninsula and during the Middle Ages was However the African-Caribbean society and within the entirety of often applied to the peoples highly significant, especially in Society is a blend of over 60 university sports. Many of our closely allied to them in ances- astronomy, mathematics, medi- nations, some of which are protégés have gone on to national try, language, religion, and cul- cine, and philosophy. spread far apart i.e. African and recognition and a few have inter- ture. Presently more than 200 Caribbean countries. national honours. million Arabs are living mainly Modern Arabs in 21 countries; they constitute Arabs today are a modern, well Do not be quick to dismiss diver- We continue to organise outings the overwhelming majority of educated and cultural people. sity in cultures with the view that and educational discussions to the population in Saudi Arabia, They possess a strong and most African and Caribbean give breadth and depth to our Oman, Syria, Yemen, Jordan, unique cultural heritage that countries are similar. However academic and leisure self. Apart Lebanon, Iraq, Egypt, and the allows them to progress with many members of the society from University of Surrey func- nations of North Africa. The time, scientifically and socially will be fast to say “culture and tions we also encourage mem- Arabic language is the main while still maintaining a strong way of living differ from one bers to attend function organised symbol of cultural unity among set of traditional beliefs such as country to another.” African and by other universities. This helps these people, but the religion of family unity. As well as a spe- Caribbean countries have under- to map not just our society but Islam provides another common cial bond between each other. gone different colonial regime in the university as a whole. bond for the majority of Arabs. the past and have since been Although language and religion allowed to develop in the style As can be said of us, we are ever are united in the Koran, the The Arabic Society at UniS suited to each country hence present to produce ‘showdowns’ sacred scripture of Islam, Arabs Like all societies at UniS, our some diversity. at musical jams. Moreover, we do have other religious beliefs primary aim is to promote have grown to support functions such as Christianity and amongst students in Surrey an Bringing out the best out of a put together by other societies Judaism. understanding and appreciation variety of people is a great expe- and the university. A nice habit of the rich Arab culture, and to rience. As we boast of a multina- which we are cultivating that I allow Arab students to get tional background we are blessed am sure is widely appreciated by History together and enjoy themselves. with a wealth of ideas. The out- the host society. Arabia was the site of a flour- Whether you are an Arab, of ishing civilisation long before Arab origin, or just interested in the Christian era. In the cen- Arab culture, we should have Cyprus Society turies following the death of the something for you. prophet Muhammad in AD 632, Arab influence spread through- Nadine Al-Said and out the Middle East, to parts of Fall in love Europe, particularly Sicily and Moudar Zgoul

yprus is an island tucked rated by short autumn and Spring away in the eastern cor- seasons. Sunshine is abundant Cner of the Mediterranean close to the busy trade routes during the whole year and partic- linking Western Europe with ularly from April to September Africa, the Arab World and the when the average duration of Burma Far East. It is a country with sunshine exceeds 12 hours per superb natural beauty and has a day. All the above combined remarkable variety of landscapes with the people’s hospitality, ing Ga La Pa Kin Bya! That and scenery. Its rugged coastline island’s excellent infrastructure, means hello and welcome in alternates between rocky shores, high quality of life and low cost MBurmese. You might be won- promontories and sandy bays of living helped Cyprus to dering what is Burmese? It is my mother while extensive plains, rolling become one of the main tourist tongue and the language of Myanmar. hills and forest-clad mountains destination of the Mediterranean. Myanmar, formerly known to the rest of cover the inland area, scattered the world as Burma is one of the most fas- with picturesque villages. Cyprus has played an important cinating countries of Southeast Asia. It is role in the history of the Eastern a country rich in culture and tradition with the principal national religion of Myanmar Cyprus, the island where Mediterranean on account of its a recorded history of over 900 years. It is and about 85 % of the population are Aphrodite, the ancient Greek privilege geographical position. almost twice the size of Germany covering Buddhists. Myanmar Buddhism is strong- goddess of beauty and love was The history of Cyprus is one of an area of 676,552 square kilometres. ly intertwined with spiritualism. Our sta- born is rich in natural beauty and the oldest recorded in the world. Myanmar borders on to countries such as ple food mainly consists of rice and fish. is an idyllic tourist destination. The first signs of civilisation go Bangladesh, China, Laos and Thailand. Burmese cuisine is rather similar to that of Holiday accommodation varies back 9.000 years. Settled by the Myanmar is the fifth most populated coun- Thai, Indian and Chinese. You could say between modern, large, luxurious Greeks in the 13 th century B.C, try in Southeast Asia with a population of we’ve got the best of everything. If you hotels, tourist villages, camping Cyprus evolved into a place of over 45.5 Millions. Myanmar is among the would like to find out more about Burma sites, traditional houses, tourist Greek civilisation. Because of ethnically most mixed countries of or Myanmar or get some Burmese recipes; villas, guest houses and youth its strategic position and natural Southeast Asia with over 135 different I will be delighted to fill you in with more hostels. The island has an wealth, it was conquered by var- nationalities spread over 14 states. The details. So please contact me at intense Mediterranean climate ious nations. Nevertheless, main ones include Burmans, Mon, Shan, [email protected]. with hot, dry summers from mid- Cyprus managed to retain its Karen, Kachin, Kaya, Chin and Yakaign. Noel Pereira May to mid-September and rainy Greek language and culture. Yangon or previously known as Rangoon rather changeable winters sepa Cyprus Society is the capital of the country. Buddhism is ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:07 Page 9 (1,1)

04/03/99 9

Iranian poetry ~ Symbolising Hellas (Greece) the spirit of the United Nations In its earlier phases Greek was spoken mainly in Greece, the he country called Iran practised human rights. In Aegean islands, the west coast (Persia), today covers the Great Persian Empire of Asia Minor, and in colonies Ta large portion of a extending from East China in Sicily, the Italian mainland, very extensive stretch of ele- to Libya, many nations were S. Spain, and S. France. vated land that geographers coexisting and all were Hellenistic Greek was an call the Iranian plateau. The declared free to practice important language not only in name of Iran comes from an their own religions and fol- the Middle East but also in the From the 14th century Greece ancient term in Avesta, the low their own traditions. Roman Empire generally, and came under Ottoman Turkish holy book of Zoroastrians, Darius The Great (500 BC) is the form also known as New rule, and except for the years meaning “The Country of was the first emperor who Testament Greek (in which the 1686-1715, when the The Nobles”. Iran covers committed to digging the Gospels and other books of the Peloponnese was occupied by 1,648,000 square kilometres ancient Suez Channel. New Testament of the Bible the Venetians, it remained in south-western Asia and ellas is the cradle of were written). Classical Greek Turkish until the outbreak of also controls about a dozen In the region where Iran is Western civilisation, forms continue to have a great the War of Independence 1821. islands in the Persian Gulf located many devastated Hthe origin of drama and influence in the world's scien- British, French, and Russian (south of Iran). The capital is wars have happened history and philosophy, the tific and technical vocabulary, intervention 1827, which Tehran and the official lan- throughout history, however birthplace of democracy. It is and make up a large part of the brought about the destruction guage is Persian. The popu- Persian culture has survived hard to imagine what the world technical vocabulary of of the Turkish fleet at lation is around 65 million foreign occupation, devasta- would be like without the English. Navarino, led to the establish- and the government is tion and intolerance. A num- geometry of Euclides or ment of Greek independence Pythagoras, the logic of Islamic Republic. Iran is the ber of reasons account for its The mountainous geography of 1829. Aristoteles, the unique archi- only country in the World vitality, including its rich Greece hindered the cities from tects all over the world, or even that uses the solar calendar poetic tradition. By address- attaining any national unity, The endless laceworks of the the fables of Aesopos known to (falling on March 21, the ing the fears and desires of coastline produces a series of children around the globe. Let and led the Greeks to take to vernal equinox), which was mankind, Persian poetry can scenic surprises. It is these us not forget also the Olympic the sea. During the years 750- originated before the begin- touch the heart of all peoples heavily indented shores which Games, with their spirit of 550 BC the Greeks not only give Greece such rare beauty, ning of the Persian Empire regardless of their race, cul- world-peace and brotherhood, became great traders, but quite unique in the (550 BC). ture, religion, language or first conceived and organised founded colonies around the even era. Over seven cen- by the Greeks; or the Greek coasts of the Mediterranean Mediterranean. Greece offers The oldest known civilisa- turies ago, Sa’di, one of language which has enriched and the Black Sea. The main travellers a unique blend of tion in Iran is that of Elam in Iran’s greatest poets, wrote other languages with so many centers of Greek culture in the most beautiful Mediterranean the 10th century BC. Iran the following verses: words and concepts, like phil- 6th century BC were the landscape, overwhelming his- has a long recorded history anthropy, harmony, music, wealthy Ionian ports of Asia tory and culture and a people of The children of Adam are limbs of each other sophistication, architecture, Minor, where Greek philoso- great hospitality. Having been created of one essence. ecology, ethos and thousands phy, science, and lyric poetry When the calamity of time afflicts one limb of others. originated. George Stamatiou The other limbs cannot remain at rest. If thou has no sympathy for troubles of others Thou art unworthy to be called by the name of a man. Norsoc - Hei alle sammen!! of almost 7,000 years since Symbolising the spirit of the the Aryans emigrated to United Nations, this Persian basically just get together now Iran. Cyrus The Great was poem is exhibited in the and then to have some fun, the first emperor who con- United Nations building in have a laugh and usually drink quered Elam and gave Jews New York. too much. (That never goes freedom. He was also the P. Taaghol and R.Malayeri wrong….) first one who declared and orSoc is taking part in So what do we do?? Well lots of Exhibition Night and hopefully the International Week different things really, but I we put something together for as always, and this N think that what we all remember the Gala Night. Exhibition year we are stronger than ever. Russia best is our pub trips, and our Night is the event we put the The reason for that is that we yearly Christmas Ball. This year most effort into, and the best are no longer representing one we have had two very successful way for you to meet us. At our country, but four. In the previ- Capital: MOSCOW For most westerners, Russia pub trips, one to the Elstead Mill stand you will have the chance ous years we have been the Official Language: is associated with its and one to the Crown & to taste Nordic food including Norwegian Society, but we are RUSSIAN European cities—Moscow, Cushion. Our traditional cheese, salmon, salty meet, now the Nordic Society. For A visit to Russia today is an St. Petersburg and Christmas Ball was this year on aquavite and delicious home those who don’t know what encounter with an undiscov- Murmansk. This is the the 28th of November at the made waffles. Of course we that means, the Nordic coun- ered land. With the dissolu- heartland of Imperial Russia, Forte Posthouse. We also had will be there, and we are more tries include Norway, Sweden, tion of the Soviet Union visi- and these great and ancient the pleasure of having the Dean than happy to talk to you, and Finland and Denmark. But our tors have a fresh opportunity cities often become the focus of Overseas Students, Dr. tell you about our countries. So members are not only from the to explore a vast array of for most tourists. However Brown and his wife as our as our if you are curious and want to Nordic countries, but also from exciting and ancient cultures, there is much more to guests of honour which we real- learn about the Nordic coun- all over the world. NorSoc is from the glittering imperial Russia, a country that spans ly appreciated. We hope they tries, then pop by our stand and very much a social society, and Russia of St. Petersburg to the eleven time zones and two enjoyed it as much as we did. see what we are all about. We timeless village life of Siberia continents, ending less than our logo says it all really; are looking forward to seeing “NorSoc-for those with or and Irkutsk. One of the most 50 miles from North International Week is some- you there! without an notable features of present America. Within this vast thing NorSoc always enjoys interest in the day Russia is a renewed cele- expanse lie the largest fresh- doing, and puts a lot of effort The NorSoc Nordic coun- bration of the wealth of its water lake in the world, into. This year we are taking committee tries”. We past and its potential for the rivers and forests teeming part in Sports Day, Quiz Night, future. Throwing off the with fish and wildlife, awe blanket of communist unifor- inspiring volcanoes, and mity, Russia today is a nation towering mountains. Russia Turkey of enormous diversity and is the largest country on tremendous vitality. It is as if earth, with enormous tracts the cultural traditions of a of land that have been My language, Turkish, belongs marvelous historical sites, century ago have re-awak- opened to travellers only in to the Ural-Altaic group and where Hittites, Phyrygians, ened with a newfound the last few years. has affinity to the Finno- Ionians, Lycians, Karains, strength - ancient cathedrals Hungarian languages. It is Macedonians, Romans, are being rebuilt and restored, Just as Russia’s rich cultural written using the Latin Byzantines, Selihuks and colourful markets hum with heritage has once more come Alphabet. Ottomans all left there legacy. activity once again and litera- to life, its natural heritage ture and the arts are quickly too is a new country waiting ello Everybody, It is I’m a country of everything: Hospitality is one of the cor- regaining the creative renown to be discovered. me: Turkiye, Turkey, Wonderful landscapes, rare nerstones of my way of life. they enjoyed decades ago. A HTurquie. My lands are wildlife, haunting seascapes, Even the poorest peasant feels new Russia is now in full Katya Arzanova and located at a point where trackless moutains, enticing bound to honour his guest in bloom. Jenny Dalman Europe, Asia and Africa are golden beaches, abundant sun- the best possible manner. closest to each other. shine. Turkey is proud of the ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:07 Page 10 (1,1)

10 04/03/99 ACCIDENTAL UTOPIA Not So Revolting of interviewed by Rob Winder. Adam Schlesinger, one half of 3 Colours Red / Cay @ London Electric Ballroom, 24 / 02 / 99 the songwriting partnership of Cay are the support band ‘Seven Schizos Sat On A Park youths flailing in appreciation. Fountains Of Wayne and the tonight. In six months or a year Bench’. Either way, its novel as Old favourites never fail and man who wrote the theme to it might, or rather will be dif- titles go, and it’s cathartically ‘Nuclear Holiday’ and ‘Sixty the Tom Hanks move ‘That ferent. The assurance in Anet’s jumpy and unashamedly harsh. Mile Smile’ though pleasing Thing You Do’ is in the UK to presence is beguiling in its sub- Cay, though not entirely origi- lack the greater dimensions of talk about the new Fountains versity. On stage she seems the nal are fresh and feisty, like the new , ‘Revolt’. With Of Wayne single ‘Denise’ and natural female counterpart to ridiculous drum machine ‘This Is My Time’, there’s the upcoming album ’Utopia the androgeny of Brian Molko, obsessed Bis could never be. proof that the polemic, Parkway’. but for one or two things. Like Three Colours Red can seem anthemic ‘Beautiful Day’ was How did Fountains Of Wayne style - her deprecating, almost no accessible pop fluke but come together? harsh themselves. But really it effortlessly effective style - and is only a fallacy, as they are with ‘Be Myself’ there’s the “, the lead a sense of purpose rather than assertion that metal is by no singer, and I had known each want to say themselves. Even just a sense of manufactured when trying their hardest to means beyond them. Nothing other for several years. indie puppet. much else to report, except for Fountains Of Wayne was just rock, which they do with some She’s female and leading a stut- vigour, the (dare I say) lush pop a couple of Sex Pistols parad- the latest in a string of bands. ing their wares around and When we made our first record tering, tonally harsh rock setup. tendencies effervesce spurious- So the Hole comparison may be ly and gorgeously upon the about the stage playing some it was just the two of us, Chris song called ‘Anarchy In The and I played all the instru- lazy, though surely its the best pop-come-metal riffing of, say, pigeon hole around? Well, no Pirouette. It is a band on the UK’. Daniel Jones. ments. Then we put the band Next Week: Anet and Cay together and toured for a year. actually. Early Hole maybe but crest of a wave but the rock there’s none of the pomp of the posturing, however impressive, discuss being music media This new record, ‘Utopia darlings and life. Parkway’, was recorded in the media glazened Courtney circus is decredited a little more traditional way with our concept album”, what exactly should live a long way apart. of last years Celebrity . by the sound. You Cay drummer, , and do you mean by that? “It helps in a way. We have Likewise, the experimental gui- see, Alan McGee is guitarist, .” “Both Chris and I write songs. never been the kind of band tar castration of Sonic Youth is in the house and Does ‘’ contin- For this record we were apart that rehearses for no reason. an easy niche to plant this what with him get- ue from where ‘Fountains Of for most of a year, living in dif- For us it is about songwriting. screaming scrawl of a sound. ting on a bit now he Wayne’ left off? ferent states, our only guideline Our philosophy has been to get But I like an easy life and Cay seems to have “The first record was really was write whatever you want. together when we have songs are everything a more focussed requested the boys bashed out, very straight ahead The funny thing was that when that we are excited about, though perhaps less opulent don’t crank it up too pop songs. This album is too, to we got back together we record them quickly and try to Sonic Youth may be. much. an extent, but we tried to mix it realised the stuff we had been capture the enthusiasm.” The murmerings, intersong, are ‘Song On The up a bit more in terms of the writing was related, references ‘Denise’ the current Fountains not emblazoned with clarity Radio’ offers arrangements being a little to the area we both grew up in, Of Wayne single is out now. which really is a synopsis for poignancy to begin, more intricate.” characters there and a lot of car The album ‘Utopia Parkway’ is the whole affair. Its fast, furi- a full on bridge and You are on record as saying this themes for some reason.” released in April, when the ous, intense and indeterminate- a hook-tastic cho- new record is an “accidental It seems strange that a band band will tour the UK. ly aberrant. In the scheme of rus. ‘Paranoid things, ‘School’ is light and People’ is wiry and CORR BLIMEY! fluffy, yet it would place the admirably edgy aforementioned Molko and given the title and The Corrs @ London Wembley Arena, 22/02/99 chums in the kindergarten rock ‘Cancel The They can’t possibly be real, can in the air – expensive visuals and and stomping almost drowning out school. The muffled appella- Exhibition’ lays they? Four attractive, musically no mosh pit (obviously). the music. After a mesmerising tion of another most eminently witness to a frenzied gifted individuals whose soul-surf- Nevertheless, this is a different a cover Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” not fluffy song, is perhaps array of warmed ing Irish folk-pop has touched the band tonight; a much heavier sound and a beefed up version of “I Never hearts of millions. On the brink of than usual, but still very profes- Loved You Anyway”, the band another top-ten single and their sional (not a single bum-note or leaves the stage, only to return and Better Red Than Dead! “Talk On Corners” album perched duff chord). All the hits pour out, perform what has now arguably Redeye @ Surrey Union, 22/2/99 at the top of the chart for the the crowd responding well to the become the Corrs anthem – “So umpteenth week, the Corrs play to jaunty “What Can I Do?” and the Young”. And so for the fifth time A quiet night at the union, half the on the basis of one strange moment (lead singer) who offered beer to a sold-out Wembley crowd for the translucent beauty of “Runaway”. Wembley Arena is washed with fall-out from the Charter Ball, some would be unfair. Throughout their anyone who would move closer to fifth time in their career. A warm, But the highlight of the Corrs live pure ecstasy, a sense of adulation recovering from the elections, 45 minute set, Redeye valiantly the front. I think he was a bit hurt encapsulating atmosphere in the experience , as any fan will tell hangs high above the punters as some both. But from somewhere tried to cover as many soft rock when the attractive blonde who Arena, erupting into a deafening you, is the Gaelic instrumental jig- they travel home. This is a band withing the subdued hum came a bases as they could. Their next sin- took him up on his offer, just took roar as they roll in to the opening gery-pokery (sorry, but that’s the already on top of the world, but still cry, and not just any cry- an ampli- gle was definitely the strongest of the beer and then took off. This song “When He’s Not Around”. best way to describe it). The crowd no where near their peak – the stars fied one. A few present may have the night, emerging from a concoc- encouraged the band to press on There’s a slight commercial feeling is going mad, the sound of clapping await. Andrew Smith vaguely remembered that the band tion that could well have contained with a blues number, before finish- lined up was called Redeye. Those a little bit of Reef and a lot of ing with a jaunty little rock thing that weren’t too sure may well have Ocean Colour Scene, but a couple, (much as before). They went off to Britney Vs Billie been convinced that they were such as “Give”, smacked a bit too a torrent of apathy from the crowd, called Rednecks. For the cry that much of Bryan Adams. This left the before returning to try and sell Sat in Harris at FNO Andy and Kev debate who’s “best”. rang out was the closest I have ever small and non’committed few who some tapes. They needn’t have too much. heard to the beginning of that pop had made it to the dance floor bothered. As one stunning red-head k: I saw Billie on tele last night and classic “Cotton eyed Joe”. (admittedly most of the Barefacts in a posh frock said “You could she came across really well and Obviously this offered little music team who are well versed in kind of tap your foot to it, but that’s answered questions, like, really encouragement to those Sunday the art of not looking impressed) about all really”. mature. She had some very clever night regulars who were there to be unmoved from their leaning or sit- remarks. So there. She’s totally entertained, but to dismiss Redeye ting positions. Full marks to Dan Matt Anderson sophisticated now. Big change of image, no more young girl. She’s upper class. a: That’s what always happens with ULTRASOUND – young British popstars though. company will never let her do a: Well I think it’s fair to say They think they have to mature and dance properly. They’re Big and They’re Clever Britney has indeed replaced Billie “get real man”. She’s going to be so k: She’s going to be a cross-over as princess of pop. boring. Britney isn’t boring, I bet artist definitely. She’ll do what she k: But it’s only one single. I mean, she’s really cool. If you havent heard of Ultrasound (and lets wants to do. Billie’s travelling around Europe k: No way! She’s like some kid and face it, you haven’t), then truly you are a: Presumably because “she wants and America, and has had hits over Billie is a real lady. missing out. A hunky, chunky mix of Pink there. And loads here, well, three. to”. a: Like Billie could get served in a Floyd prog and charity shop glam (but in a k: Yeah! Anyway, Britney’s defi- a: Three hits? pub. She’s the kid, I bet Britney can nitely a puppet. good way). Sort of like Mansun but with a k: Well, at least two. And an album. get served all the time. a: Well, Billie came from a posh pie overdose. Five singles in, and their a: That’s all well and good but, you k: No no no no. Billie could get acting school. That makes her real- debut long player is eagerly awaited, the know, Britney has an album com- served easy. All the time. ly snooty. ing out too. I saw an advert. a: But what about the songs? I sup- word on the street is it will be very long. k: But Britney is just some typical Anyway, Britney’s sold loads in pose you’re telling me that Billie Titled Everything Picture its due for release American product, all fake smiles. I America and lots of people bought would go to a pub “cos she wants on April 12 on Nude records, singer Tiny bet she’s bitchy. the single here. And she doesn’t say to”! says “it’s a double concept album, possibly that she’d never buy her own sin- a: Britney! k: You’re missing the point. Billie about architecture.” A single Floodlit gle. I heard Billie said that on the k: Billie! has great lyrics, she sings about her World will accompany the release of the radio. boyfriends and girlfriends. She’s In next weeks exciting episode Andy and album, this epic track was previously k: Well, she’s a very classy lady. “for real”. And she likes hard dance Kev debate which famous popstar would released on trendy label Fierce Panda. Obviously, as she comes from music. Which obviously makes her Essex. be better to go and watch football down Super. cool. the pub with. Unless you can do better a: But I bet Billie can’t hold a con- a: But Billie’s a puppet, her record of course - pointless arguments to versation though. She giggles way [email protected]! Nick Walsh ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:07 Page 11 (1,1)

04/03/99 11

angst young audience. Not a bad tune overall though. 6/10 A.J.T BETH ORTON - Stolen Car SINGLE OF THE WEEK SINGLES (Destruction) ONE LADY OWNER - I Do The highly accalaimed Beth Orton THE MIGHTY WAH - Loverboy they do best i.e. powerful lyrics, Need You (Creation) is strutting her stuff again with (Columbia) crunching guitars and sweeping One Lady Owner produce what can ‘Stolen Car’. I admit I was a little Finally, Pete Wylie manages to strings. 8/10 A.S. only be described as dark rock. As disapointed when I heard this track write another decent pop song. A they stutter their way through the as it seems a bit bland, as if it were bitter and stinging attack on a man QFX – ‘Say You’ll Be Mine’ title song they decide on the unusu- one long verse, but the introduction who has stolen the singer’s lover. (Quality Recordings) al use of a rather cheerful sounding is really captivating and the Could it be inspired by recent QFX specialise in dance music. xylophone. This isn’t a bad little unplugged feel makes it easy to lis- events in Wylie’s own life? They have already seen success and single, well worth a second look. ten to. Beth Orton’s voice and her Whatever it’s good. 8/10 R.W. their new single ‘Say You’ll Be 6/10 E.C. reflective lyrics make this a song Mine’ carries on that tradition. It that’s sure to grow on you. 6/10 DARK STAR - I Am The Sun has a nostalgic 1980’s disco sound PILLS - Super Harmony L.T. (EMI) and fun lyrics, talking about how (Polygram) Bleak, fractured soundscapes, a you can stick by the person you This ‘original’ French electro outfit SOLVENT - Let Me Go(RnB) derailed riff, detached dual vocal love no matter what happens. started by two synth mad musicians Did no-one tell them their time noise, fearsome interludes, break- Judging from some of the disasters, have come up with a ‘I got a Casio came and went a long time ago. neck speeds, punishing, exhilerat- she was a bit of a jinx! 8/10 G.T. keyboard for christmas’ track this This bunch would have ridden the ing and viscerally absorbing. If, time. On the bright side it won’t Britpop wave well, but now hey musically and lyrically this is their FURSLIDE - Love Song (Virgin) take you long to learn the words just sound like Ash’s younger ORBITAL - Style (Ffrr) intent, it is a determined and Debut release from US trio, this being as there are only six, and the brothers just getting to grips with Orbital are back to dancey stuff after the laid back feel of the last refreshingly promising one. 8/10 hip-hop and indie rock combination bass line (the entire crux of the things. 5/10 M.A. two . This is a damn site less of a headf*ck than ‘Satan’ D.J. with sparse vocals, could easily be track) is catchy and pretty funky. and a lot more dancey than ‘The Box’. On one version is all goes Beth Orton singing with Massive The music is really, really repetitive distinctly Stereolab which is quite worrying. 8/10 I.P. NAOMI - Be My Lover (Gut) Attack. Not bad. 6/10 J.R.H and the extra club mixes sound the A sultry songstress who lures you same, but I quite like it for some when they finally realise what a A tired, four day old piece of crap into temptation with this adulterous SILVERCHAIR - “Anthem For reason. 6/10 L.T. tragic mistake it was to try improv- could do better this band of soundscape. A shame though that The Year 2000” (Sony) ing an already mastered dance clas- wannabe prog rockers. Don’t even the b-side sounds remarkably like This single is taken from the THE PARADISE MOTEL - sic. Theres’ nothing clever or cre- go there. 1/10 K.M. PJ Harvey, but who cares 8/10 Austrialian grunger’s forth coming Drive (Infectious) ative in adding a few careless whis- K.M. album “Neon Balloon”. Although From a group capable of beguiling pers of “Children” here and there. CA$INO - Only You (Pow you could probably find yourself frailty and slothenly subtlety, a TILT - Children (Destruction) Into the pan with you...ha ha ha ha Records) - Charlie Big singing along to the chorus in the Sunday stroll in the park reworking Tilt have been hotly tipped to hit (manic laughter fills the room). A terrible record blantanly con- Potato (Virgin) safe confines of your room, the rest of ’ ‘Drive’ is perhaps the top 40 with this single - a remix 3/10 A.J.T ceived to make money out of stupid Skunk Anansie return with this pre- of the track plods along pretty intelligent and taut and perhaps of Robert Miles triumphant club people. Sounds like a crappy lude, Charlie Big Potato to their much with a lack of mission. The neurotic and tense. But it is never anthem from 1996. Personally, the THE GENIES - Daddy Make You Eurovision entry. Truly awful 0/10 third album Post Orgasmic Chills. lyrics as ever capture the nineties climactic which ultimately nullifies only thing I think Tilt will be hitting Pay (Universal) N.W. This record sees them doing what punk attitude thus appealing to an the extravegant buildup. 6/10 D.J. is their heads against a brick wall Work’, another hugely solemn tious in places, see ‘Little Child’, remixing, seems to have left the song, with a raw arrangement that and I’m still not a huge fan of the EVERLAST-Whitey Ford Sings music with little soul. What is left is ALBUMS explodes into life towards the end vocals, it will stand alongside any The Blues(Tommy Boy) an album, which does not succeed with a terrificly rousing brass part. other Gene album. Much better I have to say I feel a bit duped with in either of its formats, an eclectic The trend continues with the than you’d think. 8/10 JRH this one. I heard the single “What mix of ethnically diverse music, or GENE - Revelations (Polydor) are the melodies and the range (ie Boomtown Rats-meets-The Cure it’s Like” on the radio and first a collection of breakbeat and ambi- So Martin Rossiter and chums not just the usual rhythm guitars ‘The British Disease’, again utilis- LIZ PHAIR - thought that it was an interesting ent remixes. An interesting idea, return at last, with another disc we’re used to hearing from most ing the ebony and ivory to great Whitechocolatespaceegg southern rock thing with a bit of but one where the tunes themselves crammed full of catchy hooks and British bands) of instrumentation. effect, and ‘Mayday’, with it’s (Matador) gangsta rap thrown in for good seem to go nowhere, except straight those vocals that would not be out The first single, ‘As Good As It Ocean Colour Scene retro intro ‘Exile In Guyville’ brought Liz measure. It is mainly guitars out of your head. 5/10 L.B. of place on any Smiths record. As Gets’ has all the above rolled into lick. Overall, this collection dis- Phair to our attention a few years though, albeit over a hip-hop beat. usual, the subject matter is pretty one, with a delicious Elvis plays variety and influences from ago, and while her following album So, when I heard the rest of the CHUMBAWAMBA - Uneasy depressing, and the mood very Costello-like piano line; excellent all over the pop playing field, and brought her commercial success it album, I was slightly surprised to Listening (EMI) sombre, but the strength of this LP stuff. Then there’s ‘Love Won’t though it does get a little preten- did not really live up to expecta- find everything other than the sin- Calling an album Uneasy Listening tions on a musical level. That has gle going down the hip hop/rap is surly asking for trouble. It sug- ALBUM OF THE WEEK changed with road. I was confused, and left won- gests that the music is so bad that ‘Whitechocolatespaceegg’ which dering whether it was a marketing- you might as well use the CD as a JASON FALKNER - Can You showcases her sharp, witty and ploy to try and sell the album on the tea coaster. The music is not actual- Still Feel? (EastWest) incisive lyric writing and backs it basis of the one track that the ex- ly that bad it’s the bloody lyrics that It’s about time that a record compa- up with interesting and adventurous House of Pain member sings, or get on my nerves. All the songs ny got around to releasing a Jason music, including REM playing the whether it’s just coincidence. Well, seem to have a political message, Falkner album in the UK. backing band for ‘Fantasize’. once you’ve got to the album, from singing about the nazis to Following short stints in The Three- ‘Polyester Bride’ is a bright pop you’ve got there, and you find that politicians to gays. This gets tire- O-Clock and Jellyfish, Jason single and given the airplay it will although it may not be what you’re some very quickly. They are better Falkner joined the Grays and Sony make Liz Phair a star in the UK. expecting, it’s not bad as far as when they write party songs like ‘Girls Room’ is more laid back than explorations of death and modern ‘Tubthumping’. This CD is a col- failed to release that album here. most of the album, a Suzanne Vega american society go. 5/10 M.A. lection of their songs from ‘86 to Then his first solo album, styles almost folk tune. 7/10 R.W. ‘98. It’s not a greatest hits or best of ‘Presents... Author Unknown’ was VARIOUS, Music With No Name album because that would only ignored by EastWest, but they have VARIOUS - More Signs Of Life Volume 2 (Electric M. E . L. T). contain one song. The aforemen- redeemed themselves somewhat by (Blueroom) Despite apperances, ‘Music With tioned ‘Tubthumping’. So for your releasing this, his finest record to The press release proclaims that no Name’ is actually a strangely money you get a load of old bol- date. Recorded in entirety, all this ambient album ‘break(s) any descriptive title for this album. locks. 3/10 A.S vocals and instruments, by Jason sound barriers left standing’, which Heralded by the , as a it quite a claim considering it ‘total ethnic electronic soundclash’, himself and co-produced by Nigel sounds like a lot of stuff I heard it is actually a collection of songs, This weeks reviews by: Godrich (best known for his work about two years ago. However thats from a variety of cultural back- Ian Purvey, Andrew Thomas, with Radiohead) ‘Can You Still not to say it sounds old and jaded, it grounds, remixed by artists such as Kevin Marston, Daniel Jones, Nick Feel?’ is a collection of beautiful asking us to “Take a chance with me” and you actually sounds very fresh. Its all Red Snapper and Mozaic. Walsh, Amanda J Taylor, Lisa unadulterated pop, a nineties take on the radio should. ‘Author Unknown’ is a guitar led rock- quite good but never reaching the Unfortunately, none of it quite Thornhill, Adam Saxty, Emma songs of the late sixties and early seventies, ing first song, but it is the poppier songs like greats like FSOL and Orbital. It works. Undoubtedly, in their own Clarke, Georgina Tarrent, Rob makes quite superb background right, bands such as ‘Fourth World’ Winder, Matt Anderson, Laura think of Todd Rundgren’s ‘I Saw The Light’, ‘Eloquence’ and ‘Honey that are the real heart and the new-wave of the early eighties, think of music, to work to at any rate. Alas (allegedly Nelson Mandela’s Browning, and James Hemingway of the album. As close to pure pop perfection as whilst accomplished nothing favourite Brazilian trio) would have The Cars. The album opens with Jason Falkner we’ll hear all year. 9/10 R.W. sounds truly new. 6/10 I.P. great appeal, but somehow, the Live This Week! Pretty Fly For A Hi-Fi March Hirameka Hi-Fi / San Lorenzo / Reynolds @ Upstairs Highbury Garage 19/2/99 4: Cake @ London ULU The music press clutter up the concept. San Lorenzo choose to imprint, ‘Dangerous Sports’, 5: Flaming Stars @ London Garage bar for tonight we will see the sing approximately whenever a using complicated walking gui- 6: 59 Times The Pain @ London Garage future of . Well, if standard indie band would have tar pottering over loop-like the future is based on a Mogwai a solo. Unfortunately where the drumming and necessary white 7: Symposium @ Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms blueprint and an aversion to vocals are not nothing comes to fizz. Failure to pay full atten- singing. Reynolds precariously fill their place. They probably tion results ultimately in a com- 8: Stay@Home meander through keyboard riffs consider it an atmospheric plete bypassing of the point. 9: Rothko @ London Upstairs The Garage from 6 By 7 and guitar soundscape. To those chatter- However, if time is taken to sequences taken from eerie ing at the back it wasn’t clear if appreciate just what is going on 10: Underworld @ The Astoria movies. Even rocking out with they had even started. It is left here then aural satisfaction is 11: Sona Fariq @ London, The Aquarium the distortion on 10 fails to to Hirameka Hi-Fi to push their guaranteed. enliven the fundamentally poor current record on the new Che Andrew Thomas 12: Stiff Little Fingers @ London Forum ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:08 Page 12 (1,1)

12 04/03/99

What’s on in Guildford Life Is Beautiful (PG) Out Now

Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) Director: Roberto Benigni tration camp. As the first half deals with Starring: Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Guido and Dora, this is the story of Braschi, Giorgio Cantarini father and son. Guido hides the harsh Magic – A Kind of Queen (5th Mar / 8.00pm / Tickets £11.50 & £12.50) truths of the concentration camp to Dedicating a full show to the music of Freddie Mercury & Queen, Magic A film of immense beauty and poignan- Joshua, pretending the whole situation is are now regarded as one of the most prolific tribute bands around. There cy explores the power of love, within the a game to win a tank. is no attempt to emulate Queen visually in this show, as members of the setting of Nazi Italy and then the terrors Benigni is marvellous: as Guido, as band take their cue from Queen’s hugely acknowledged musical reper- of Nazi concentration camp. All this is director and as screenwriter. He has cre- toire. entreched with the endearing humour of ated a powerful story that cannot possi- the characters - Guido (Benigni), his bly fail to affect you, at least for the Madam Butterfly (6th Mar / 7.30pm / Tickets £5.50 - £12.00) by Puccini, wife to be Dora (Braschi) and their duration of the film. There has been pub- sung in English. Opera South East make their touring debut at the Civic, young son Joshua (Cantarini) licity and controversy surrounding this with one of the most popular and best loved operas of all time. Madam film with the suggestion Benigni has Butterfly is a must for first timers and seasoned opera goers alike. The first hour of the film is a carefree made a joke of such an important topic jaunt as Guido charms Dora amidst as the Nazi camps. Which of course is Bridal Fayre (7th Mar / 10.00am / Admission free) The Surrey Times, in moments of immense physical humour nonsensical - he hasn’t. First and fore- partnership with the Guildford Civic presents yet another spectacular and high comedy, with little to suggest most, this is a love story and elements of bridal fayre. The Surrey Times Bridal Fayre has everything you need for what’s to come. As the film shifts for- the war are there only to subtly remind your special day. ward a few years, Guido and Dora have of the horrors that were a part of it. a child, Joshua and the film transcends Generation Miss – Featuring Niki Bailey (9th Mar / 8.00pm / Tickets suddenly into the realities of a concen- 8/10 Daniel Jones. £5.00) Guildford International Women’s Festival in association with Sound Advise and The Academy of Contemporary Music presents an evening of music featuring female artists at the cutting edge of the industry. INSTRUMENT Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud Theatre (01483 A feature lenght film/video about the band Fugazi directed by Jem Cohen and Fugazi. 440000) soundtrack and so Fugazi have created new music to fit the Suddenly Last Summer (Wed 3 Mar to Sat 13 Mar / Times vary / Tickets footage. The film also follows £10 - £21.50) By Tennessee Williams. Warehouse Productions now return the band travelling, relaxing to stage Williams’ chilling tale of motherly love. Set in an exotic and and recording and shatters the macabre tropical garden, in the oppressive heat of a New Orleans’ sum- myth that they are a bunch of mer, the tension slowly rises as we move inexorably toward the truth about po-faced, humourless ‘“monks Sebastien Venables’ savage death, exploding with a final and haunting who live in a band house, only revelation. eat rice and have no heating”. Included in ‘Instrument’ are The New Victoria, Woking (01483 761144) various tv interviews that the band have conducted over the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Mon 22 Feb to Sat 6 years including one from the Mar / Times vary / Tickets £7.50 - £21.00) One of the most popular and late, lamented ‘Snub TV’. The successful musicals of all time. A joyously entertaining show guaranteed most interesting of these inter- to bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eye, Joseph is a sparkling views is conducted by and eigth rainbow mix not to be missed grade schoolgirl for her media Compiled by Hossein Motevalli studies class, during which she shows greater insight into the ugazi, the unrequited lawn as they protested against band than many of the so-called leaders of America’s the Gulf War. ‘Instrument’ “professionals”. Falternative underground, shows that Cohen certainly has ‘Instrument’, while it’s main have never made promo videos the feel for Fugazi, he catches appeal will certainly be for fans and so for fans of the band this the sheer intensity and power of of Fugazi, there is certainly film is eagerly anticipated. the abnd as Joe Lally and much for the fan of music and Filmaker Jem Cohen, a school- Brendan Canty anchor the alternative filmaking as a friend of Fugazi’s Ian rhythm for Ian MacKaye to whole. ‘Instrument’ is not a MacKaye, has shot the band layer hard guitar riffs over rockumentary, the band rarely from their first gig in 1987 while the rubber limbed Guy speak to camera, it is a portrait through several tours until their Picciotto throws his body man- of the development over a tenth aniversary show using a ically around the stage or on decade of four musicians in a variety of formats, including one occasion sings while hang- band called Fugazi. Super8, 16mm, video and on a ing upside down from the bas- couple of occasions a multi ket ball hop in the aforemen- ‘Instrument’ is showing at the camera set-up. The band were tioned gym. Lux Cinema in London on shot in various locations from ‘Instrument’ is not just a con- March 5th and 6th (phone 0171 basements and school gyms to cert film, in fact it is rarely that 684 0201 for details) and is theatres and the White House as the Super8 footage had no released on video on 12 April. GCR Play List

SINGLE OF THE WEEK:- Phats & Small - Turn Around

1) Blur - Tender 16) Shawn mullins - Lullaby 2) Stereophonics - Performance & Cocktails 17) Silverchair - Anthem for the year 2000 3) Travis - Writing to reach you 18)Liz Horsman - This Heavy High 4) Catatonia - Dead from the waist down 19) Sash! - Colour the World 5) Underworld - Beaucoup Fish 20) Kent - 747 6) Sleater Kinney - The Hot Rocks 21) Technique - Sun is shining (Matt Darey Mix) 7) Fountains of Wayne - Denise 22) Beth Orton - Central Reservation 8) Freddy Fresh - Badder Badder Schwing! 23) The Cardigans - Erase Rewind 9) Skunk Anansie - Charlie Big Potato 24) Eve 6 - Leech 10) Mansun - Six 25) Blackout - Gotta Have Hope 11) Gene - Revelations 26) Feeder - Day in, Day out 12) Ruth - Waiting for this 27) The Cranberries - Promises 28) Dot Allison - Mo Pop 13) DJ Rap - Everyday Girl 29) The Roots feat. Erykah Badu - You Got Me 14) Moloko - Sing it back 30) Fused - This Party Sucks 15) Supernaturals - Everest Lucy Andrews ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:08 Page 13 (1,1)

04/03/99 13 Crossword No 96 Dr Russ NOTICES Dear Russ as well as developing your Although I am only in my work-related skills at the same Ultimate Frisbee NoWave AGM first year, I wondered time. Employment experience AGM Tuesday 23rd March 19.30 whether there was anything I can also provide opportunities Tuesday 16th March 17.00 Grant Mitchell Room could be doing to prepare for to meet people doing jobs dif- Hari’s Bar Rugby Club AGM my career well in advance? ferent from yours. Why not Thursday 18th March 21.00 seize the opportunity to speak Iranian AGM, Grant Mitchell Room Dear John to as many of them as you can Thursday, 11th of March in TB20a at 17.00. Equestrian Club AGM to find out what they think Wednesday 17th March 16.00 This is one of those questions about their work. Rag EGM Grant Mitchell Room where the answer could easily Monday, 8th March 18.00 fill the whole of a Bare Facts Finally, the way you spend Hari’s bar Windsurfing AGM issue! However, I will try to your free time can have quite Friday 12th March 13.00 Wind Band AGM Grant Mitchell Room break down my reply into three an influence on your future. Monday 8th Matrch 20.30 chunks for simplicity. For example, you may want to PATS Foyer GCR AGM develop one of your interests or Wednesday 24th March 18.00 If you think of your time loose- use a particular skill once you Gamesoc AGM Union - By Fruit Machine ly dividing into academic graduate. The classic example Sunday 14th March 14.30 LTA study, employment and free is someone who leads a team or Cathsoc AGM time, then the activities which chairs a society and then Sunday 21st March 18.30 Friday 12th March fill those times can have a crit- decides to try for a career in Quiet Centre Please Note that on Friday 12th ical influence on your choice of management. You don’t need Civ Engsoc AGM March the cash desk will be career. It goes without saying to be a genius to appreciate that open From 11am - 1 pm ONLY Across Down Friday 12th March 13.00 that the way you feel about employers who were thinking 5AA19 Trish - Union Cashier 1. A jester (5) 1. Kind of orange (5) your degree between now and of recruiting trainee managers 4. Chief Roman god (7) 2 The patella (4-3) when you graduate is highly would be more interested in 8. Cargo (7) 3. Floor-covers (4) significant. Fortunately, since students with that sort of expe- Personals 9. Imbecile (5) 5. Pictorial art (8) 10. Curved architectural 6. An object (5) courses at Surrey are so voca- rience. feature (4) 7. Sailors (7) tional, you can at least antici- 11. Five sided figure (8) 12. Unfriendly (8) pate using your degree directly So I guess the message is, try to 13. Vanishes with black lac- 13. Wild cats (7) in your future work if you want go through the next couple of quer (6) 15. An accomplice in an to. If, when the time approach- years with one eye on the pre- 14. Historical records (6) offence (7) es, you want to do something sent and one eye on the future. 17. Source of wealth (4-4) 16. Fished (6) different, then that option is Although graduation may seem 19. Kind of duck (4) 18. Metric unit of capacity (5) also open to you. a long way off at the moment, 22. A caper (5) 20. Shelf (5) nearly everything you do 23. Restricted (7) 21. So be it (4) Your choice of employment between now and then can 24. Bombarded (7) over the next two or three affect what you do afterwards. 25. Scandinavian language (5) years, particularly if you take a ■Eddie - Good luck from absolute- we’ve got an extension lead! Solution to Crossword No. 95 Down: 1.babble 2.satiate 2.unlit year out, is likely to add great- Russ Clark ly everyone. ■You could have turned the light Across: 1.Basque 4.stages 5.trinket 6.giddy 7.sneaky 9. ly to your knowledge of careers Careers Service 8.betel 9.dwindle 10.lean-tos dismantle 13.costume ■Silly Night beware The three off and I could have been in bed 11.kayak 12.enchanted 14.Dresden 15.by-road Uma’s are back and badder than with either of them!! 17.yolks 19.tableau 21.obtrude 16.duress 18.lathe 20.baser ever ■So, who are ‘The Sex Kittens’ 22.sedge 23.dieter 24.prunes Compiled by Jeff Blackham ■ Tinkerbell you rock - Does it suit and what are they going to do to me SKILLS DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME you Sir????? now theyknow where I live? ■ OH Woky Woky Woky - You put ■Debbie, see, you should have MANAGING YOUR STRESS your left wok in your left wok out taken my advice after all. Dan’s ■How many stalkers can one EX-friend! Wednesday 10 March between 2pm and 4pm in Committee Room house accumalate??? ■Margaret, I see you have become Z, 1st Floor in Senate House. This popular session is led by Dr Jill ■2 Mooses and a Woo Woo at best mates with my friend Owen from the Student Counselling Service. During the session, No.13 Mr.BIN!!! particiapnts will gain a greater understanding of the causes of ■Blind and Stupid ????? ■”Donkey - how was last Monday stress and receive a number of practical stress-relieving measures ■ for their own use.or That road outside the Union night - did you make noises?” makes a lousy trampoline. AH ■Eddie - lots of Belgian ■Have been told that I have a filthy Chocolates and Beer from N,K,A,T temper- I WILL NOT STAND and the rest ofthe clan FOR IT ! AH ■Repressed wierdo seeks small ■WISHING YOU A BELATED Oriental- purpose murder. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY CRISPY ■Watch out for Guildfords new / JEAN-CLAUDE! underpant boy ■ARE YOU BEING DEEP ■Steve, your foaming at the mouth FRIED OR BATTERED TO CEL- & your father is on the phone EBRATE? ■Becky T...i think i know what he ■CRISPY CHRIS, SMELLS was looking for! LIKE A FISH SO BLOW OUT ■Paul Marsh (a.k.a. ECO WARRI- THE CANDLES AND MAKE A ER)...i can help you save 30% on WISH !! -FROM Y, N, H & Z. yourwater rates, with non drip taps! ■I love you too Clare not!!!!!No I ■Eddie - I love you man - no real- do really, you’re my favourite lit- ly tledevil,666!!! ■J.Begum...how is that vagabond- ■To Wendy, Clare, Jon and husband of yours, doing in the Steve...I love you loads and I hope paddy fields?!!!!! New arrangements for weekend you have agreat weekend without ■HELP! 3 nurses NEED a man me! NOT!!! about the house for next year - and evening Mini-bus pick up ■To Alex, Olga, Rachel, INTERESTED? Your Court barrier across will have to make Maddelyne and Lisa.. You are the ■Sod each way geegee man - I am Committee have Austin Pearce car sure that he is greatest in thewhole LIS dept and I backing you to win on friday. requested that an park area. This will aware that he must love you!! Valencia here we ■Reply to ‘Nurses in Need’ in next alternative pick up enable you to wait return if there are come!Love Charlie xxx weeks personals point be found so in the foyer of too many of you for ■’To Dee, thanks for picking me ■Jeremy - 1st year Nutrition. WE that you do not Austin Pearce one run. up off the stairs. What happened to WANT YOU!! Reply to ‘Nurses in have to hang Building , in the The Committee friday night? love :)’ Need’ around in the cold warm and dry, if the have also requested ■’Not all people that do Physics ■Mr.S. Res - see you in the bath & wet. mini bus has to do a that a condom are dweebs, you know; some of us sometime - BE A SPORT ! hank you Students’ Union: were sent out earlier double run. machine is placed can bench press70kg!!’ ■Girl at gym in grey top - you’re very much to Of the 66 postcards this week as From Friday 26th in the Launderette ■’To Simon of the goldfish bowl as “light as a feather” and a “per- Teveryone collected, 45 were Surrey’s contribu- February the MINI As the drivers will in the Communal house - cheers for looking after my fect10”. Love RMPO - The Italian who took the time to addresses to David tion to the Student BUS will drop you not be able to see Room. This should feet for a while; how about the Stallion XXXX fill in a Student Blunkett, 12 to Nick Hardship Campaign in the normal place inside the building be in place within same again next friday, but without ■Remember Eddie - To tour, to Hardship postcard St Aubyn (the MP’s. led by the National but will pick you up from the edge of the next couple of the umbrella?!! From Erica.’ drink, everything else is purely cir- last Friday in the These postcards Union of Students. by the chain link the car park you weeks. ■We’ve got everything we need, cumstantial ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:08 Page 14 (1,1)

14 04/03/99 Ben Stokes Norman to Second ENGLAND 34 SCOTLAND 7 (That’ll be women’s rugby then) n a mild sunny morning mud of the packed car park we Twenty minutes later we were last Saturday the finally found our boat, hugging the bank waiting our birds, 1 bloke and a car, know what has happened to attempts which were held up. OUniversity of Surrey (Norman Kirkby), and prepared turn for the start. As we sat travelled far (ish), to Kate Knight’s (12) kicking They have, however, left their Boat Club IV, (Ben Eppes, it for the race. there we saw boats rush past 4watch a 5 Nations boots, maybe she forgot them, stamp on many an English Steve Poole, Ollie Melville- and one boat crash into the International at Richmond 2 out of 5 isn’t that great. player. Once England had got Smith & Mike Ashworth), Half an hour before the start we bank...twice! Park, a bargain at only £5 a England were then on attacking Scotland back into a more cen- made their way over to Burway got out onto the water and the ticket. It was a windy day, form and the grey head of tral position, a series of crash for the annual head of the river four of us were able to row Our turn finally came and with thank God for stand tickets, Emma Mitchell (9), who didn’t balls and great ball handling race. As we waded through the together for the first time! our cox, Carla Beswick, even if we were surrounded by seem to like her backs that from the scrum half, provided already on top form we raced Southampton Institute rugby much as she didn’t pass to them Gill Burns the opportunity to away from the starting birds. The match was preceded often, maybe because of her score her second try. Scotland bridge. By half way we were by England A vs Scottish A excellent ‘hand of God’ dum- came back though and England ready to overtake a slower (44-7) and Surrey U16 vs Kent mying skills, scored another were once again back in their boat, but as we were racing U16 - which unfortunately try. Line outs and scrums (the own 22. A swift pass out to up stream, this meant moving Surrey lost - possibly due to the latter being the better of the two Chris Diver however, saw her into the stream and so we lack of numbers on their shirts and a lesson on how low you storming up the pitch, her ham- were slowed. With no assis- and the fact that props can’t run should go. Hint, hint!) followed mer hands taking her opposite tance from the slower boat at 16! in quick succession. Then Chris number out (and subsequently we rowed in the stream for an Diver (15), who caught every off the pitch), and on to score a agonisingly long time while Scotland the brave scored with- high ball kicked (shame she beautiful try under the posts. our rivals got away. in the first 2 minutes thanks to couldn’t side step) used her for- The effort caused her legs to Donna Kennedy (8). Was it due midable power and strength to cramp though and she left the A few bends later the finish to their heartrending rendition provide England with their 3rd pitch, to be replaced by a some- was in site and, as Carla of ‘Flowers of Scotland’, com- try, (was it due to the presence what more delicate, side-step- screamed encouragement we pared to England’s dismal of an extra Y chromosome?). ping fullback, who played well finally saw the line after rac- screeching? But soon England in the 10 or so minutes that ing through it. As we gently were in the Scottish 22, muller- In the second half Scotland were left of the game. At full rowed home we all wanted to ing their scrum, forcing fought back (literally) and time the final score did not know how we had done. The Scotland to make mistakes, spent the first 15 minutes inside reflect how closely the match consensus was that we had which led to a crashing try by England’s 22, without any tries was fought, inspiring stuff! beaten the boat in front, but Gill Burns (8, Cap). Don’t to show for it, despite two good Bimble, Stalks and Becks what about the other two? Sloppy Seconds are a Thing of the Past! Finally the result came and we were pleased to be placed SURFC 1st XV 17 St. George’s Hospital 14 second, even if Guildford did beat us by ten seconds! It was ast Saturday saw a minutes Surrey were pressuring ner for Surrey’s hard earned our first race together and a repeat of last year’s George’s line, a well worked third try. good experience to build on Lchampionship decider catch-and-drive routine from a but, we all knew in our from Surrey division 4, which lineout enabled our resident To say that the last ten minutes hearts, that we would have of course we won, so the stan- insane Welshman (AJ) to crash were tough would be to say that won if the slower boat had dards had been set and all over the line, (reports that he Atlantis had a minor plumbing yielded. Oh well, perhaps expected a tough game. Rather scored from a fifty yard solo problem! George’s threw next time...! unusually Surrey took the game run beating 8 players have been everything they could at us, the Mike Ashworth to George’s right from the off. wildly exaggerated due to alco- effort required was immense However, this early pressure hol consumption!). The team as but attained. Jamie Balfour’s didn’t amount to points and a whole played the best rugby try saving (nay game saving) some good forward play from we have seen all season and the tackle in the corner was the George’s saw them cross the level of pride being displayed stuff of many a camp fire tale. line first. A transmission prob- would have brought Cliffy to When the final whistle blew we lem prevented Surrey from tears [but you beat my old walked off the hallowed turf of attaining the promised land that team!! - Sports Ed.]! So it was fortress varsity with our heads is a higher gear and we soon with no surprise that Alun held high. It had been one hell found ourselves just five snaked his way round the back of a game, but one hell of a vic- metres from our own line and of their scrum to score our sec- tory as well. In time honoured defending yet another George’s ond try and put us within two tradition I doff my proverbial onslaught. Despite some excel- points of the opposition. The cap to all those people who lent defensive play Surrey transmission then promptly fell played on Saturday and to all found themselves 14 - 0 down out as Surrey found a gear those people who actually man- at half time. which defied all laws of aged to complete the pub golf mechanics. Continued forward course later on that evening!!! I really didn’t think that I said pressure, coupled with superb anything monumental at half running from the backs (most The Boy Davis. time but whatever I did say cer- noticeably Athers and Ascot) tainly had an effect. Within ten enabled Jeff to score in the cor- A Pound A Poke Paul Cliff, Sports Editor ith the burning the Surrey Pride rise from the With Comic Relief coming up embers of a another ashes and give life to our con- next Friday, you can do your bit WBUSA campaign all tinuing struggle to achieve at the Spectrum on Thursday but extinguished, the only glory in our Local leagues. 11th March as next weeks glowing coals on the campfire Surrey Star Profiler and are the University Golf Club Enough of that crap. With the England No. 1 fencer, Debbie who march happily on to the International Super Sports Day Catchpole, will be there all day BUSA finals (happy now, a runaway success despite the allowing you to pick up an epee Rob?), ably flanked by Netball best efforts of stubborn Mr. and take her on for a quid. With 1sts and Rugby 2nds (although Wind and irritating Miss Pissing all the equipment being provid- the latter two have yet to actu- Rain at the weekend, Surrey are ed by event sponsors, Blades, it ally play a game). As the still well and truly on the sport- couldn’t be easier to try your smoke clears to reveal the wast- ing map. Those of you wishing hand against the best with all ed bodies of Surrey athletes, to attend this years Colours Ball proceeds going to Comic Relief. and broken after a sea- extravaganza better get your son of muscular sacrifice and skates on as tickets have sold so toxicological self mutilation, well that an extra function room Poke for Comic Relief, the visionaries of our ethos has been booked for the Poke for the Surrey look to a new dawn, as the increased demand on tickets - Pride. scorched but in tact remains of but they wont hang around. ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:08 Page 15 (1,1)

04/03/99 15 Surrey Pride Star Profile SPORTS INTERNATIONAL Campusport News Number 15, Ben McCormack by George Pavlou

ATHLETICS: RUGBY : WANTED …… many other exciting sports. Can New Zealand Campusport are currently Everyone is welcome to come recruiting student coaches Not Too Old For Gold: Bounce Back? along to our wide range of While Australia and world and sports leaders for the Jamaica's Ottey Breezes To 60- aerobics and fitness classes. champions South Africa Easter and Summer vacation Meter Victory These are not just for the enjoyed an excellent 1998, the periods. Veteran sprinter Merlene Ottey super fit. Circuits for all is on All Blacks had a terrible year, If you are staying in the area rubbed out competition, and Tuesday and Thursday winning just two of their seven and are interested in being any talk of retirement , as she evenings and there are aero- tests. The Wallabies won 11 of involved in our vacation breezed to victory in the 60 bics classes on every night of their 13 matches while the sports courses please contact meters at the European the week. Springboks won all but their John Perrin or Sally Eadie at Athletics Association Indoor We aim to offer something for Invitational. The Jamaican, final game of the season against the sports centre. Please England at Twickenham, everyone. who hopes to run in the 2000 bring details of qualifications Vital Stats: equalling New Zealand's record Sydney Olympics just before and dates available. of 17 straight test wins. But at Age: 21 her 40th birthday, clocked 7.05 the start of the Southern Shoe Sale Dept: CIT (Computing and Information Technology) seconds and said she could Hemisphere season it may be Sports The Campusport shoe sale is Nicknames: Chips, Baby, Early Doors have done better. Ottey sailed the All Blacks who have the Programme. to continue until the end of Measurements: 6’ 2” past Greece's Katerina Thanou, last laugh in World Cup year. the second semester (May Its not too late to join in any Sporting Interests (and why?): Ultimate Frisbee because who finished in 7.16 seconds, Australia and South Africa both 1999) with all shoes showing of our wide range of sports it is a unique sport and great fun. But I like to have a go at most and Nigeria's Glory Alozie who played a heavy price with sev- a discount of 15%. sports [What’s wrong with most sports?] was third with 7.20. A surprise eral of their key players still classes and courses. There win by Nigeria's Sunday are still spaces available for Marital Status: Single shaking off injuries and tired- John Perrin Emmanuel in the men's 60 ness from the long campaign. Badminton workshops and Personal Info; meters with 6.56 seconds left There are concerns about the Squash and Golf courses and What is your favourite feature? My eyes or that is what I Brian Lewis of the United fitness of Jonah Lomu, who have been told (Mirror , mirror, on the wall.....) States in third place with 6.59. injured his knee last week, but First Past the Post by Eddie Greece's Giorgos Theodoridis, What do you go for in a woman? Usually the wrong things, I the powerful winger is expect- tied the American's time but ed to be ready for the start of very measly one win- season should be the one to seem to have a habit of choosing the wrong women recently took second place after winning the international season. While ner from four runners claim this, and so boost his [The trouble starts when the wrong women start choosing you...] his heat. In the 1,500 meters, the three Southern Hemisphere Aon Saturday, as Dr. confidence prior to the Grand Favourite Drunk? All of them [What, even Munday and Cake?] Spain's Andres Diaz set a new powers are scheduled to meet Leunt took the Racing Post National, although Peter Favourite Food? I like a good sausage sandwich, especially at European indoor record with a each other in the annual Tri- Chase at Kempton. Marsh third, Random Harvest 3 o’clock after Bo’s [Don’t we all!?!] time of 3:33.32, ahead of Nations series and also have Elsewhere, odds-on favourite is sure to make him fight for matches lined up against tour- Makounji turned the it. Yet another Mitsubishi Favourite Music? Currently Catatonia and Robbie Williams Kenyans William Tanumi, who was second with 3:35.17 and ing European sides, the focus Mitsubishi Shogun Pendil race, is the Shogun Trophy Sporting Info: third-placed David Lelei who for this season is firmly on win- Trophy Novices’ Chase into a over two miles, three and a procession, and Star Rage half furlongs, which has a fas- What does Surrey Sport give you? clocked 3:40.60. ning the World Cup in Europe in October and November. The trailed in fourth. Ocean Hawk cinating line-up in store. The chance to meet loads and loads of people, a great sense of Tri-Nations, which the came in sixth as one of two Nosam needs a well-earned achievement and most importantly, a great time. Springboks won for the first joint favourites behind break after a very hard sea- What is your; TENNIS : Serve time last year, will be held over Pharanear in the Money Store son, while Dr. Bones and most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? Powers Krajicek Past a seven-week period from July Rendlesham hurdle. The mar- Listen Timmy cross swords Taking the first Ultimate Frisbee session at Surrey and actual- Rusedski In 10 to August 28, with the teams ket took the Greenall’s Grand again. The former won last playing each other both home National trial at Haydock to time, giving away five ly having people turn up and enjoy it Guardian Final funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? and away. be a very open race, sending pounds for a four length beat- Richard Krajicek outgunned FNO on my 21st birthday having my friends spike my drinks and TENNIS : off my Eudipe as one of no ing. However, the latter Greg Rusedski 7-6 (8-6), 6-7 less than four co-favourites. should prefer the slightly then going onto the dance floor and stripping to the Full Monty (7-5), 7-5 in a battle of the big Sister, Sister However, he finished ninth shorter trip, providing his music, stopping when security started giving me strange looks servers to win the Guardian Venus Williams defended her behind Young Kenny, who jumping holds. That all said, worst injury? Ask me in a few weeks after I do my parachute jump. Direct Cup on Sunday. With title and joined her sister in made up for a first fence fall it’s Listen Timmy for me. At worst STD? Never had one [easily arranged, very few rallies lasting more making history on Sunday, the previous week to beat Warwick, I would have “CAKEYYY,...and bring the Baby Oil!”] than three strokes, neither play- defeating Amanda Coetzer in Fiddling the Facts. This was plumped for Native Charm in Do you have any sporting superstitions? No er forced a service break in the straight sets at the IGA Super the third time this season that the Exterior Profiles Novices’ How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? first two sets. Although Thrift Tennis Classic. Earlier in the second had filled that spot Handicap Chase had the trip the day, in Paris, Serena Gives you a great social life and destroys the private life, espe- Rusedski saved one set point in in a valuable staying chase, been two miles rather than the opening set, Krajicek pro- Williams won the Gaz de cially if you have you answer nasty Nominated questions. and her odds for the Martell twenty-and-a-half furlongs. duced a backhand crosscourt France Open, making the Grand National were reduced So it’s going to have to Niki Is sex better before or after sport? winner to set up a second and Williams' the first sisters to win to 16’s (from 25’s), although Dee, who has found her class That depends on how strenuous the sport is going to be won the set with a powerful WTA Tour events on the same she is at this stage an unlikely after a humbling at Kempton Who is your sporting role model? Rob Andrew, great player. smash. Rusedski saved a break day. Williams, ranked No. 5 in runner. Angus Loughran, over Christmas with the big Which sports personality would you most like to meet? point in the second game of the the world, defeated Coetzer 6- ‘Statto’ from BBC TV’s boys. Don Bradman, greatest cricketer ever [after great debate in the second set which also went to a 4, 6-0. She didn't lose a set in Fantasy Football programme, any of her four matches this Barefacts and Sports offices we have concluded that the man is tie-break. Krajicek came back managed no winners from six Not much on the news front. from 3-0 down in the tiebreak week, and none of the four last- alive, just!] in his column in the Bint Allayl, the ante-post and was on the brink of victory ed more than about an hour, Telegraph, while their own favourite for the top fillies Sum yourself up in 3 words? Tall Thin Southener at 5-4 only for Rusedski to pull with Sunday's taking 58 min- racing correspondent, Tony races in the summer had an out two big serves. The utes. Williams broke Coetzer in Stafford, also had one from accident in training and, Ben Mac’s Nominated Question: Could you please explain Dutchman then yielded his lead the first game of the day and the four in his recommended sadly, could not be saved. why a personal submitted last year lead me into a barrel with a double-fault at set point. two stayed on serve the rest of Yankee bet. So I’m not in too Lord Gyllene, 1997 Grand load of trouble with my girlfriend, away over the week in Rusedski injected a moment of the way. She had seven aces, bad company! National winner, will miss the question, who was dismayed to read what a ‘Ben Mc’ had humour into the final when including three in the final four Cheltenham festival due to a points of the set. The second set been upto, on her return? Krajicek fired another ace past Doncaster is the main venue pulled muscle in his back. His him and the British player took just 21 minutes. Williams Dear Ben Mac (otherwise now known as Pappa Big Mac), I this weekend. In the Light trainer, Steve Brookshaw, will handed his racket to a ball girl only had three aces, but took can’t help it if your girlfriend does not trust you. I can’t even Infantry Plate Hurdle over look for another preparation so that she could replace him advantage of the South two miles and half a furlong, race, possibly over hurdles, as remember the personal if it ever actually existed, [according to on court. After the ball girl had African's mistakes. The 18- Alabang has a very good he still intends bidding to BareFacts records it actually specified a Rugby Ben Mc’s played a few shots with year-old Williams won her first chance to take the big money, regain his Aintree crown in behaviour with his birds next door neighbour!], I KNOW Krajicek, the match resumed pro title at this event last year. following encouraging return April. Sandown have laid a NOTHING!!(Cliffy - Watch it! - Ben MaC) and the Dutchman, perhaps dis- Sunday's victory, her fourth as a to the track recently. He is tempting offer on the table, tracted by the delay, lost his pro and first this year, was sure to improve for that run, open now to the first four fin- Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would you serve and Rusedski came back worth $33,000. Serena although he may need anoth- ishers in the National. Should Williams, 17, beat Amelie like added to the profile list for next weeks Star, fencer and to tie the match at 4-4. But er. One other that looks wor- one of those then go on to win Rusedski handed Krajicek Mauresmo 6-2, 3-6, 7-6 (7-4) to Sports Scholar Debbie Catchpole? thy of the place in the win- the Whitbread Gold Cup, a another break by double fault- become the first American to ners’ enclosure is Good £50,000 bonus will be paid. How does it feel, as a woman, to wield a mighty weapon in ing with the score at 5-5, his win that tournament, worth Vibes. Pertemps have jumped Only the first three were eligi- your hands?Thankyou, Baby Mac. Next week we spotlight 31st ace gave him three match $80,000. Serena Williams had in late in the day to sponsor ble last year, and Samlee international fencer and England No.1 Debbie Catchpole, points and he collected his 16th never played a WTA Tour sin- the Grimthorpe Handicap accepted the challenge, fol- appearing at the Spectrum on Thursday 11th March, taking on career title when Rusedski’s gles final. She has played three Chase over three-and-a-quar- lowing up his third at all-comers for Comic Relief (see this weeks portsEditorial for backhand return flew long. doubles finals with her sister ter miles. Baronet, with only Liverpool coming sixth a fort- details). and won all three. two runs under his belt this night later. ed990304.qxd 03/03/99 17:08 Page 16 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Stingers Squelch to Victory - Surrey Stingers 40 Kent Falcons 0 he Surrey Stingers Unfortunately it was also the few of our records, and have Sunday were in great last for some of our stars such been described by our league as Tform for their final as Kermit (Kerry Gray), Yeti one of the most improved match last Sunday. The playing (Jorn Johansen), Statto (Dave teams of the year. This leaves conditions at Kent were terri- Munro), The King (Simon us in an excellent position for ble, the pitch had ankle deep King) and Two Tone (Simon next season, so if you fancy puddles and was generally Jolly). I would like to thank getting involved, come down to uneven, preventing us from these players for their commit- the varsity centre next year on a scoring even more touch ment to the team, they will be Sunday afternoon with football downs. Kent started by kicking missed greatly and we wish boots (or trainers), shorts, and the ball and successfully recov- them every success in the an old T-shirt. ering it, but failed to make 10 future. I would like to thank the yards and were forced to kick coaches for all the hard work And finally we’re off to the the ball to Surrey. This set the they have put in to give us our Plate Competition (for runners pattern for the whole game with most successful year ever. I up) in Bath, a week on Sunday Surrey scoring on every pos- would also like to thank the where we will face three of the session except one. cheerleaders who have made a countries best teams difference and we look forward Southampton, Aberwysth, and This has been the Stingers most to seeing them next year (any- yes, surprisingly, Bath, to try successful season with us only body interested? Drop a note in and win the team’s first ever losing three games, two of our pigeon hole). silverware. which to the raining UK cham- pions (Hertfordshire). This season we’ve broken a Marcus Mayers Golf Team Kicks Ass Chicks With Sticks Surrey Burds HC 0 – 2 Oxted Ladies fter two weeks of par- being 5 up after 8 holes, only overcome his nerves in style he rather ambitious 10am The game started and we began tying we finally got cruised home to a 5 and 4 by casually rolling in a birdie meet after a normal our attack pronto, hoping to Sure-footed defending from Adown to writing this (then on to a comfy bed where in front of his impressed dad. TFriday night out in the minimise the possibilities of a Eastbourne Becky supplied Jill report. We might be the poor- he promptly passed out). Union faded into a 10:30 depar- reflection of Wednesdays BUSA with many chances to ‘run like the est report writers, but we are Brains unfortunately proved Mark “don’t f@c# with that” ture: the destination being game (17-0 drubbing away at wind’ through the middle, feeding definitely the university’s to be tragic rather then magic, Booker, under the guidance of Oxted. The conversation on the Oxford Brookes). Nikki and the wingers numerous good pass- most legendary sports team. after driving down from our Swiss golfing star, minibus consisted mainly of myself quickly decided we es which unfortunately never Hertfordshire proved an Bournemouth late on Tuesday achieved golfing perfection everyone’s monster hangovers needed a “Red” recovery! found the net. A dodgy feeling unworthy opponent to the night (after a heavy birthday by taking his opponent’s pants and dodgy stomachs and also the Comparing our present states on stomach didn’t seem to affect skills of the Surrey Golf Team weekend... D’oh! that was the down and shoving a umbrella pressing question of who would pitch to our hyperactivity having Denise’s performance, who car- on our casual stroll up to the weekend after!! Sorry Jamie, up his ass (in other words he go in goal? – Unbeknownst to drunk many bottles of “Red” the ried out some rather nifty manoeu- BUSA finals, under the guid- no excuses.) He lost on the won 10 and 8). Not a pleasing the bus driver we considered night before in the Union. vres down the left hand side of the asking her to accept the privilege Glitterbird Becky glistened pitch. Emma who enthusiastically ance of Geoff “Wheeler 17th to a poor player with a experience for the (although we thought a bribe down the wing, channelling to urged us all onwards in a desire to Dealer”. good putter, much to the dis- Hertfordshire player, who may necessary!) .. but ‘never the point where Robin should be catch her half past four train, com- appointment of his adoring advertised his golf clubs for fear as Kay is here!’ she agreed most proud! Kelly decided that pleted the forward line. Rob teed off first, and met the fans (thanks Dave!). sale soon after. Books remains to take on the task! the middle of the pitch was her might of Hertfordshire’s Golf unbeaten in all BUSA match- territory and anyone who dared The game was quite evenly Team, who ultimately proved Alex’s opponent couldn’t face es (16),and Richard “Curtis We arrived at Oxted County challenge her would not be very matched with opportunities aris- to be completely gutless when the humiliation of losing to a Cup” Caldwell has disputed Primary, although we weren’t successful – determination is the ing for both teams. The Saturday it came to crunch-time. To be woman, so did not even leave the worthiness of Booker’s quite sure if we’d got the right key to success hey Kelly! morning run around was played perfectly honest, rumours of Hertfordshire, but this proved opponent and is willing to place. Becky later found out that in high spirits, and Oxted even financial incentives are rife. most useful in the crucial take on the mighty Books this the reason for all the portakabins Crunching tackles also proved to commented on how nice it was So, for the meagre price of ten match behind. Richard’s weekend in a County match and scaffolding and copious be a sore point for Lucy, who sus- to play a University team who pounds, Surrey had their first nerves were tested to the max. (humble pie, boys?) amounts of mud was due to a fire tained many injuries (both knees didn’t have an attitude! point with Rob shaking hands by the presence of his over- which destroyed the whole wasn’t it Luce?) whilst running on the 18th (Oh, do you have bearing father who’s picture You’ll hear from next in two school! Next we had to find the out like a bullet on defending Thanks to the bus driver and our a receipt for the bursary, resides on the golf club’s weeks when we destroy changing rooms, unsurprisingly short corners. Kath and Kay also supporters Dan and Tom who Rob?). walls (famous Walker Cup Portsmouth, or maybe four Lucy and Becky conveniently formed a solid part of the provided sideline encourage- player, thirty years ago). He weeks when we’ve sobered found the men’s but not ours! But defence, with Kath marking bril- ment and of course to Nikki for Moisha’s skills carved up his therefore spent most of his up. eventually after disturbing a kid- liantly and Kay displaying an…. interesting half time talk!! victim mercilessly, but then, time in the trees looking for dies gym lesson we found them! immense talent in goal… fancy feeling some remorse about his balls... He managed to The Golf Team full time training as a goalie?! Defender Sux.

THE INTERNATIONAL “SUPER” SPORTS DAY by Ben McCormack and Alex Langley

nudged out by the victorious contested between the Iranian with the men’s title being held Singaporean’s and Cypriot and Cypriot teams with Cyprus aloft by the mighty GREEK! teams....many a tear shed. The coming away eventual winners, However, Nordic female Semi finals saw a parade of after coming from behind to supremacy halted the Hellenic International footballing talent, win 2 games to 1. dominance in the arm but their could be only two for wrestling. So no way should the finals. Hellenic I vs. Hellenic A resurgence of interest in table you mess with a Nor-way II, with Hellenic I coming away tennis saw almost 30 individual lady!????????? victors after Extra Time. The players start the tournament on quality of the Football was four tables in the sports hall. The Overall, the International unparalleled with all of the tables kindly lent to us by Sports Day was a great success, games being very close. Bishop Reindorp School brought all of the teams obviously had a unday saw International not make it [Sorry, Boss but an out the talent in Surrey great time. The Surrey Pride Week kick off with the ankle the size of the Breitling In the Volleyball, 7 teams of 6 Universities players. After many was in its full glory with a multi International Sports Day round the World Air Balloon S battled it out on the two sides of hard fought contests the Hellenic cultural mix of sporting talent with 4 sports being contested, after Sunday morning football the fence for the prestigious Society came out on top. and fun! Everyone supported Soccer, Volleyball, Table Tennis was too much to bear], so spec- title. These matches were not each other, with many teams and Men’s and Woman’s Arm tators from differing nationali- merely about the teams com- The Arm Wrestling was held in staying around after they were Wrestling!.... I’m sure its a sort ties were drafted in from the peting, but about the teams the Helyn Rose bar on Sunday knocked out to see the results of sport! The whole day kicked touch. It was obvious that all of “and” their supporters! No mat- night. There was a good turnout of the other matches. off at 11:00 with 6 aside Football the teams had a good time even ter who was playing, their sup- of participants as well as spec- at the Varsity Centre and the though the weather could have porters were the wind beneath tators and the atmosphere was Volleyball and Table Tennis both been better, being approximately Results. their wings when the game was good. Smiles of pleasure turned Soccer: Hellenic Society being played at Campusports. 10ºC colder than most nationali- tough! Dan Boddy and Jenny, into grins of pain as the one on Volleyball: Cyprus Society ties home countries February umpiring the games from the one battling commenced. The Table Tennis: Hellenic Society The Football was fiercely con- temperatures. The first round Volleyball club, remarked how big boys and girls from most Arm Wrestling Males: tested by teams representing 7 came to a nail biting conclusion impressed they were by the societies rolled up their sleeves Hellenic Society different nationalities. The in the final league games, with standard of play from the play for the battle of the biceps! The Arm Wrestling Females: camaraderie of the day came the late entered Afro - Caribbean offs to the final. The latter was Hellenic power came through Norsoc through when our referees could team and Arabic team being