SHITTY HOUSEWIFE CHECKLIST WHY I AM A SHITTY HOUSEWIFE... TODAY TONIGHT ALWAYS HOUSEWIFE DUTIES SEX FORGOT TO SWITCH FELL ASLEEP BEFORE SEX once twice thrice shut up PROMISED A BJ I NEVER PLANNED TO GIVE BURNED DINNER GOT PREGNANT... AGAIN SWEPT DIRT UNDER RUG STOLE BATTERIES FOR VIBRATOR LET TRASH OVERFLOW from remote from kids toy BURNED DINNER KICKED YOU OUT OF BED TO CUDDLE PET LET DOG EAT DIRTY BIN SET UP DATE NIGHT, FOR MYSELF USED BOARD FOR... SUGGESTED 3-SOME BUT MEANT ME AND... (list foods) clean clothes dirty clothes what ironing board? ______DRINK MORE BEER THAN WATER EXPECTED YOU TO FIND FLANNEL SEXY FORGOT TO SHAVE PLANNED PARTY THEN FELL ASLEEP BY 10PM legs underarms other: LATE... FORGOT TO CHANGE THE SHEETS AFTER SEX school work family event funeral wedding CANT PERFORM TONIGHT BECAUSE... FORGOT HOLIDAY it’s masturbation monday

KIDS FORGOT TO MAKE KIDS LUNCH KIDS CARSEAT LOOKS LIKE GROCERY STORE FORGOT WE HAD KIDS GAVE KID THE FINGER FORGOT TO CHANGE BABY’S DIAPER USED INAPPROPRIATE SONG AS LULLABY MADE YOU CHANGE BABY’S DIAPER PUT KIDS INSIDE OUT TO TAKE IN PUBLIC LOCKED KIDS OUT OF BATHROOM TO: BABY WIPE SPONGE BATH ON BATH NIGHT eat candy shower take shot of tequila USED YOUTUBE/NETFLIX AS BABYSITTER CUT JUICE WITH WATER

LET KIDS EAT ______FOR DINNER the USED WRONG SIZED DIAPER TO AVOID STORE Shitty Housewife too big too small swim diaper

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