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Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper Newspapers

2-20-1996

The Grizzly, February 20, 1996

Marc Ellman Ursinus College

Mark Leiser Ursinus College

Denelle Godek Ursinus College

Megan McShane Ursinus College

Joanna Doyle Ursinus College

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Recommended Citation Ellman, Marc; Leiser, Mark; Godek, Denelle; McShane, Megan; Doyle, Joanna; McMahon, Anne-Marie; Shanbaky, Isis; Catalfano, Joseph; May, Beatrice; Urban, Jennifer; Brenneman, Todd; Rakes, Jared; Tucker, Colin; Webb, David; Shiner, Nicole; Schofer, Joel; Weingroff, Charlie; Morin, Jessica; and Gorman, Erin, "The Grizzly, February 20, 1996" (1996). Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper. 375. https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/375

This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Newspapers at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Authors Marc Ellman, Mark Leiser, Denelle Godek, Megan McShane, Joanna Doyle, Anne-Marie McMahon, Isis Shanbaky, Joseph Catalfano, Beatrice May, Jennifer Urban, Todd Brenneman, Jared Rakes, Colin Tucker, David Webb, Nicole Shiner, Joel Schofer, Charlie Weingroff, Jessica Morin, and Erin Gorman

This book is available at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College: https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/375 Silence is tile one great art of conversation. Th{l Grizzly - William Hazlitt

Volume XVIII Number XV Ursin us College February 20, 1996

Talk Show Trouble Major Fair 1996

ing that all of! ife' s problems are shows don't really care about ~(tf1''''2'lyr!!(, solvable. their guests, but are more con­ _ Of The Gnzzl_ _ She went on to discuss her cerned with ratings. "annoyance" with the "instant She spent the rest of the hour In an effort to assist students in choosing a major, the first Look out Oprah and Ricki, if intimacy" that all talk shows discussing her many talk show annual Major Fair will be held on Wednesday, February 28 Vicki has anything to say about it seem to produce. She used Sally appearances. In her opinion, all in Wismer Lower Lounge from noon until I :30 p.m. The fair you'll be out of business! Dr. Jesse Raphael as an example, hosts are extremely charming; is being held during the period when freshmen are supposed Vicki Abt, a professor of however, she warned the to declare a major, but it is an opportunity for all students to social psychology from audience not to be fooled check out possible double majors and minors. The deadline Temple University spoke by this charm. She feels to declare a major is March 8. at Ursinus on Monday, very strongly that they will February 12. She reported say and do anything to win Each department will have a table set up and staffed by on the effects oftalk shows the talk show "war". faculty and students. The staff wi II have handouts detailing on American culture and Abt's visit was under­ the requirements for majors/minors, suggested courses, ca­ her experiences dealing written, in part, by a grant reer opportunities, and other pertinent information. The with and appearing on these from the Pennsylvania Hu­ faculty members and student representatives will be avail­ shows. manities Council's Com­ able to answer any questions. She began by explaining monwealth Speakers pro­ why she felt talk shows gram. For more informa­ The Major Fair is organized by Career Services and an Ad were misleading and un­ tion on Dr. Abt's research Hoc committee chaired by Dr. Eileen England of the Psy­ truthful. In her opinion, look in The Journal of chology Department. the atmosphere of a talk Popular Culture for her show is "pseudo-therapeu­ articles, "The Shameless tic". By this she means World of Phil, Sally and Don't miss that it is impossible for any­ Oprah:Television Talk one with a problem to be Shows and the Major Fair 1996 treated in 40 minutes (the Deconstructing of Soci­ average length of a talk ety" and "The Business of Wednesday show minus commercials) Commercial Gambling in by a mere talk show host Mainstream America." February 28, 1996 and an audience full of "idiots". citing instances where the host She is also the author of Toxic Instead of being helped, she con- tried to connect with her guests Talk: The Shameless World of Noon - 1:30 tends, the guests are usually dam- on a more personal level by act­ Phil, Sally and Oprah and will aged by the program and the ing in a motherly way. Abt have a new book out in the fall. Wismer Lower Lounge viewers are misled into believ- argued that the hosts of talk

-~.' -- . ~'-'~iiI ~ . ~ , OPINIONS ------..... I I 199; Acabem'1 Meet the Candidates: Awarl) Nomil1atiol1s J.D. Salinger - A Largel~ Biased Including the Movie A Grizzly Staffer! Maniac's fearless Commentar~ predictions

-- Page 2 -- Page 8 -- -- Page 3 February 20, 1996

Boxer Tommy Morrison J.D. Salinger -- A Grizzly Staffer!! DIV-Positive

information about Salinger's stay who could identify with his frus­ The fmding that Morrison (45-3- at Ursinus, there are several regu­ tration. A lukewarmly interesting I, 3 9 knockouts) is illV -positive pt'"_ Of"i" The f Grizzly +i i,_ H'" lar Grizzly columns entitled sidenote is that a documentary of will effectively end his professional Of course, you don't need yet "J.D.S.'s-The Skipped Diploma". 1985 revealed that Mark David boxing career, which has been on another reason to read The Grizzly, These stand as pieces of Ursinus Chapman, John Lennon's killer, For the second time in less than a the rise. Promoter Don King had but here's one anyway - J.D. history in their own right, for oc­ strongly identified with Holden month, the reality of AIDS has hit said that Morrison would have a Salinger, the author best known casionally Salinger wrote about Caulfield, and was influenced in the world of professional sports. title fight or a fight with former for The Catcher in the Rye (1951), the goings-on of the school. How­ his crime by a misreading of the Former World Boxing Organiza­ heavyweight champion Mike Tyson was once a Grizzly staff writer. ever, his articles consisted in large novel. Since the novel was almost tion heavyweight champion Tommy before the end of the year. The (Granted, it was a short-lived ven­ part of movie and theater reviews, certainly influenced by Ursinus at Morrison tested positvie for HIV purse for such a high profile fight ture, and he did move on to slightly along with witty, sarcastic com­ least to some extent, this could last week and was forced to with­ would reportedly be $4 million. draw from his scheduled March 16 bigger things.) Salinger attended mentaries and parodies about ev­ mean that Ursinus was indirectly, Morrison's suspension has called fight against Arthur "Stormy" concern in the boxing community, Ursinus in the fall semester of erything from politics to "love yet most indubitably, responsible Weathers. The armouncement came and officials from Nevada State 1938, having recently graduated advice". for the death of John Lennon! Oh, less than two weeks after Magic Athleticc Committee have encour­ from the Valley Forge Military Ursinus may have influenced the horrid things you think ofwhen Johnson's controversial return to the aged anyone who might be at risk of Academy. Surprisingly enough, Salinger in subtle ways. For ex­ your mind has time to wander. If NBA, despite being infected with having contracted the virus from he entered as part of the "English ample, in The Catcher in the Rye, only I could use this type of rea­ the AIDS virus. Morrison, including former oppo­ group", taking courses in English Salinger describes a very preppy, soning to come up with a satisfac­ Some close to the 27-year-old nents, to get tested immediately. literature, two composition sec­ conservative school which also tory explanation for why Newt Morrison suggested that a promis­ A second test on Thursday con­ tions (one of which was suppos­ happens to have a tree in the Gingrich holds a high government cuous lifestyle may be the reason he firmed the results from a week be­ edly a Journalism class), fresh­ end zone of its football field. An­ office! contracted the virus. In a press fore. Morrison will now undergo a man biology and history, French other possible connection to In any case, this week and next conference last Thursday, Morrison third, more advanced test, but this is III, and a math course. John Ursinus (which is, by the way, week, The Grizzly will be reprint­ said that he hoped his experience being regarded as little more than a Swinton reported that Salinger was complete conjecture on my part) ing portions of some of Sal inger's would show others the dangers of a formality. It is not expected to pro­ indifferent with regard to his is that the "phonies" who so dis­ articles (minus the movie and the­ high-risk lifestyle. duce significantly different results. classes, and even failed to make turbed Holden Caulfield, the main ater reviews, which are extremely an impression with his English character of the novel, may have outdated). We hope that you en­ professors (The Ursinus Weekly, been based, in part, on his Ursinus joy them! Dec. 12, 1960). experience .. .in which case there Swedish Vocal Ensemble Although there is precious little are probably many students here to Perform

l.;'roln College ton, Chicago, and Detroit. The con­ J.D.S. 's -- The Skipped Diploma cert is free and open to the public, Conununications and no reservations or tickets are needed. The Mats N i1ssons Formed in 1990, the October 17, 1938 White House Crew. me. Nowadays I only talk to Vokalensemble will perform on Vokalensemble's emphasis is on Ad One: We don't smoke and we people to annoy them by staring Sunday, Feb. 25, at 7 p.m. in 20th-century music, but its reper­ Franklin: - I hate war. Eleanor don't chew. at their moles or warts. I seldom Bomberger Auditorium. Touring tory includes a wide range ofmusic. hates war. James, Franklin, Elliot, But we get around - - - go to the movies; and when I do, the U.S. at the invitation of the Its U.S. tour program will feature and John hate war. Sissie and Lovelorn Dept.: it is to chew hard candy, rattle American Choral Directors Asso­ works by FrancisPoulenc, Benjamin Buzzie hate war. War is hell! ... Question - I go with a boy who is my program, and jar feeble old Britten, Peter Cornelius, Lars so very confusing. Last Wednesday ladies' hats. I find myself visit­ ciation, the 16-member ensemble How 'does that sound, Eleanor? Edlund, Wilhelm Peterson-Berger, night I refused to kiss him good­ ing people solely to scatter their will appear at the Central Division Eleanor: - Mm-hmmm ... David Wikander and Sven-David night, and he became very angry. talcum powder and laugh at the convention of ACDA in Cincinnati as well as at concerts in Washing- Sandstrom. Ad Two: For nearly ten minutes he screamed pictures in their family albums. I Eleanor: - I honestly don't at the top of his voice. Then sud­ throw tomatoes at all small chil­ know which one to go to. They denly he hit me fuU in the mouth dren resembling Shirley Temple. would fall on the same afternoon. with his fist. Yet, he says he loves Every night at twelve o'clock I What would you do, Frank? me. What am I to think? creep out of bed, tiptoe over to Franklin: - Mm-hmmm ... Answer - Remember, dearie. No my roommate's bed, and pro­ Act Three: one is perfect. Love is strange and ceed to jump up and doW{' upon Sissie and Buzzie: - What beautiful. Ardor is to be admired. the defenseless fellow's stom­ should we do this morning? Prac­ Have you tried kissing him? ach. I have also composed a little tice ro lling eggs on the lawn? - or song: make out Uncle Jimmy's income Memorandum: "Insidious and hideous are 1. tax? There are only sixty-nine more Me knows - my mirror tell Franklin and Eleanor: - Mm­ shopping days. Do it early this year. why. hmmm ... Me gottum no teeth and no October 31, 1938 hair. Epilogue: Campus Dept.: Sheno 1.J'Ie 1. (Tee! heeL .. who Chorus: - I am disappointed in love. Life no care?)" We are the kids of the longer holds any of its goodies for Februarv 20.1996 ••• Meet the Candidates: A Largely Biased Commentary

constitutional ban on abortion, and for his oratory powers and doubts nalize the poor and bring tax reduc­ emphatically about the need for still speaks pejoratively about gays that that many Jews were killed in tions for the wealthy. Aside from strong national defense and extri­ and same sex marriages, a position the Holocaust. his flat tax, he has rather ambiguous cating gays from the military. He is which has guaranteed the support Lamar Alexander, recently seen stances ofabortion and homosexual the man responsible for the recently of Ralph Reed and the Christian campaigning in a Bright Red New issues. passed measure which required all Coalition. After boycotting the Loui­ Buffalo plaid shirt may not be going Alan Keyes, the only African­ HIV infected patients to leave the If you have tuned out from the siana caucus and winning in Iowa, for the grunge vote, but he does try American running, is, like most Re­ military without benefits for them­ multi-million dollar campaigning Dole is hoping that his current sup­ to present himself as the outsider of publicans, anti-abortion. Keyes is selves or their families. This is still going on for the past few months porters will lead him to a win in the Republican party. Purporting a also concerned aboutthe breakdown active pending repeal or executive this is an opportunity for you to New Hampshire where earlier this "southern conservative ideology", of the American family which he order. acquaint yourself with the many month Steve Forbes ran 384 thirty­ Alexander wants to dissolve federal narrowly defines as having a Despite this colorful menu of men running for the Republican second commercials, mostly of the programs and replace them with mommy and a daddy and their happy choices, in a recent u.s. News and party nomination. There are now anti-Dole/pro-flat tax persuasion. community involvement--hey! it babies. ONLY! World Report poll (2/ 19/96), Colin eight candidates. Keep in mind that Pat Buchanan is running. Again. worked in all the wealthy commu­ Morry Taylor is the other rich Powell is still the public's favorite. this information will probably not Possibly the most conservative and nities he visited. guy, but he disagrees with Forbes' The poll reflected that if elections reach you until after the New Hamp­ most frightening candidate, he sup­ Steve Forbes is out to prove that flat tax idea. He wants to downsize were held today between Powell shire primary. But for now, here are ports a five to seven year ban on the man with the most money wins. the government. and Clinton, Powell would win, 52% your choices. legal immigration and a slashing of He has currently spent over $12.5 Richard "Dick" Lugar, has the to 34%. Bob Dole, the oldest man 'in the Medicare benefits, which would be million dollars on his campaign ef­ most unfortunate name among the We encourage you to take an ac­ race at seventy two is the GOP fa­ bad news for Bob Dole ifhe wasn't forts, setting a new and highly con­ candidates. Also, its difficult to de­ tive role in politics this election year. vorite going into the New Hamp­ protected from such dangers. When troversial precedent in presidential termine why exactly Lugar is run­ You can visit Web sites for all the shire primary although the life ex- . asked about his opinion on homo­ campaigning. On a recent edition of ning on the Republican ticket. He above candidates, the addresses of pectancy for men in America is sev­ sexuality, Buchanan invariably re­ Jim Lehr's news hour, a debate be­ has nottaken an anti-abortion stance, which are available in most major enty-five. Dole is an advocate of sponds that it is the decline of our tween historians and journalists re­ he is pro gun control, and desires publications--see u.s. News and the Balanced Budget Amendment, society. He favors the Balanced vealed a fear of the demise of "the federally subsidized school lunch World Report mentioned above. a supporter ofNAFTA and GATT Budget Amendment but opposes American Way"--that anybody can programs. Then again, he wants to Also, for alternative political candi­ and would like to see a reduction in NAFTA. He's for executions but be president. replace income tax with a seventeen dates you can contact the Libertar­ U.S. immigration. Even though Dole against abortion--so once you ' re But why should that bother the percent sales tax. ian Party office in Philadelphia at recently has taken a more moderate born, look out!). In addition, the millionaire turned politician who Robert Dornan is equally as (215) 545-6994, and the Socialist tone and stance towards most is­ man who wants to be your next seems to believe that a seventeen scary as Buchanan but without as Workers Party at (215) 546-8218. sues, he still would like to see a president has publicly praised Hitler percent flat tax wouldn't really pe- much public support. He speaks Don't forget to vote. Take it Back, Captain Jack? Spring Break '96

referring. Besides the editor's note pointing out that the original article · SPRING BREAK - Nassau! Mark Leiser used the word black, the authors Paradise Island, Cancun and Ja­ Managing Editor Last week, I was reading the ar­ complained when Capt ian Jack maica from $299. Air, hotel, transfers, parties, and more! Or­ Alicia Darby ticle entitled "Take it Back Captian wrote "Neither ofthese people were Jack," complaining about The Cave a member of the Ursinus commu­ ganize small group - earn FREE ~ Design Coordinator article of the previous week which nity ... . " trips plus commissions! Call 1- was complaining about the article The two people that were referred 800-822-0321 . Tucker from the week before called "The to in Ms. Ali's original article were Ursinus Blackout." Whew! Since, not living on campus, although she it's too difficult to keep track of all seemed to be talking more about these articles, here's another one to the lack of racial awareness in the Ski & Snowboard - CAMPUS add to the seemingly unending list. student body than these two par­ REPS NEEDED. SPRING­ Michael McCuen Anyway, I laughed as I was read­ ticular people. I am not saying that BREAK '96 Intercollegiate Ski ing this article, not because the ar­ racism does not exist or that it's only Beatrice May Weeks - 5 day lift ticket 1 condo ticle has some major flaws in logic, something caused by "people with a Colin Tucker lodging, 5 nights parties & activi­ but rather because I remembered a chip on their shoulder"(Captain ties. Mt. Orford, Canada (Near JIIISchnader story that my father had told me. He Jack's article). Vermont) (Drinking age-18) Charlie Weingroff was telling a group of racially di­ I believe that Ms. Ali and Ms. TRIP ONLY $219. REPS EARN Joel Schofer verse people that he was an African­ Macelus in their letter to the editor FREE Trips, CASH, New Equip, American. The black people of the called "Captian Offender" had many etc. CALL Ski Travel Unlimited: group suddenly became very de­ good and well thought out points. 1-800-999-Ski-9. fensive and claimed that he wasn't. Even the authors of "Take it Back, Of course, the entire group knew Captain Jack," had a point when that my dad was from Egypt. Since they said that more racial awareness his skin wasn't dark enough, how­ education is needed on campus. I Wanted!!! Individuals, student ever, the black people refused to am, however, saying that to defend organizations, and small groups acknowledge the fact that he was against racism, a form ofignorance, to promote SPRING BREAK '96. born in Africa and later became an we must be enlightened and read all Earn MONEY and FREE TRIPS. Policy American citizen. the articles that pertaining to the Call the nation's leader, Inter­ felblllllDd :1rtiJ~a: stll~ltc4.~!7IeGri~b' rnllSt be sign~d by the author. However, The authors of last week's article debate at hand and not speak from a Campus Programs. 1-800-327- "~~j::==!.:~,!:.:=~u:pon:request. Opinions that appear in articles also apperently had not read the position of ignorance and weakness 6013 . http://www.icpt.cl)m ~ those oftlie student body or administra- article to which Captian Jack was but one of knowledge and strength . • ,.Ihuig1i1rto I~~ submission for gammatical,legal, and! February 20. 1996 Blatant Generalizations

To the Editors of The Grizzly: not the case. I am, as are several of did not want one, but they simply Many times they have an exam or a age of the student body does attend. As I read Victoria Bennison's my friends, involved in what goes did not have the money to buy one. paper due the next day. These rea­ Ifstudents did not attend these func­ article last week entitled "Hey Stu­ on on campus. Students don't have a spare $50 sons are not lame; they are genuine. tions, the school would not sponsor dents -- take some initiative!" I be­ We attend speakers, go to Berman lying around. We have bills that People also need to work. They the events; they would be losing came very offended. exhibits and other programs that are must be paid, and books that need to can't call out of work one night just money whenever they did. First of all, the way Tori singled made available. Not all Greeks are be bought. A yearbook is nice, but so more people attend a school spon­ Tori made several unfair sweep­ out the Greek community, which apathetic; this is our campus too, it is not a necessity. sored program. ing generalizations about the she is a part of, was absurd. "Wake and we do care about what happens Thirdly, for Tori to think that As Tori said, not every speaker Ursinus community. up from their hangover pot induced here. students do not go to events because and exhibit will appeal to everyone. While there are some apathetic delirium ... especially you Greeks!", Greeks do many good things for they are too cool or do not want to I go to the ones that interest me and students on this campus, there are was one way that Tori put it. the community. Sororities and fra­ associate with the sponsor is totally I'm sure others go to the ones that many people who are involved and Tori made it sound like if you are ternities do community service each ridiculous. interest them. care about the Ursinus community. a Greek you do nothing but watch semester and there are activities If a student is interested in an I considermyselfan open-minded By saying that Greeks are the TV, drink and get high. I don't planned where the proceeds go to event they will go, it does not matter individual, but with a busy schedule most apathetic is not only offensive believe this to be true. charity. who sponsored it. you really only have time to do but naive also. The apathy is not Tori claims that the apathy on Does Tori not see any good Does she know everybody on this certain things. Why not do the things limited to Greeks it occurs every campus is most prevalent in the things occurring in greek life? campus and know their personal that you know you will enjoy? where, in every class and every so­ Greek community. But we only Something else that Tori said.also reasons for not attending? Did Tori Students do attend events that are cial group. make up 30 percent of the popula­ upset me. She claims that no one interview every person to fmd out? scheduled, but with a campus ofthis tion; what about the other 70 per­ bought a yearbook because they I don't think so. size you will never get a huge turn­ Kim Benn cent? Are they involved in every­ don't care. Well, I also went door to Students at Ursinus have big out. We just don't have the popula­ Class of 1997 thing? door selling them. When people workloads and jobs that keep them tion that other schools have. As a Greek I can say that this is told me 'no' it wasn't because they from events they wish to attend. At these events a good percent-

B1,.'OPI7Ltl You Bet Your LiCe Trappe Shopping Center To the Editors of The Grizzly: condom on correctly. million Americans contract an SID I was deeply disturbed when I I also found that seven types of every year. (Next to Clemens) flrst read the poster that Upsilon Phi condoms failed the minimum tests Lamb's skin and other such C7 1996 URSINUS DELIVERY SPECIALS '" Delta placed in Wismer Lobby A that Consumer Reports conducted condoms are very ineffective if you advertising condom baskets for on them. The condoms "too often are hoping for disease protection, Valentine's Day. flunked an air-inflation test. Had and experts still are not sure about Although this fundraiser was "in such [tests] been in place when these the reliability of synthetic condoms Medium 14" pizza $ 5.99 o support of safer sex", and various condoms were made, and had Gov­ such as A vanti. 8 Large 16" pizza $ 6.99 messages such as "abstinence is ~ ernment inspectors checked produc­ In case you were wondering, fe­ ~fool-proofmethod", "condoms tion lots as we did, some lots of male condoms are only seventy­ • 2 Medium pizzas + 2 liter soda $10.99 reduce the risk of pregnancy and these Trojans probably would not four percent effective against HIV. STDs", and "there's no such thing have made it out the factory door." Looking at the figure*, one sees e 2 Large pizzas + 2 liter soda $12.99 as safe sex, only SAFER sex" were The percentage ofthese condoms that a large risk is clearly present. included, it still bothered me. not being able to hold 16 liters of air Joycelyn Elders says, "If your Wings In Stuff However, I want to thank the sis­ was too high, and "breakage is more objective is to prevent sexually trans­ (All wings come with bleu cheese and celery) ters for being so candid about the likely among products from manu­ mitted diseases or AIDS, the very limitations of condoms in prevent­ facturing lots whose condoms typi­ best thing we have is abstinence." o 8 Buffalo wings, onion rings, french fries, 4 chicken ing STDs and pregnancy. I re­ cally could not hold 25 liters of air You may look at this information fingers,4 mozzerella sticks, 2 pepperoni sticks + 1 liter searched the effectiveness of before rupturing." and decide that the condom is ef­ soda $ 9.50 condoms in eliminating the risks of "Over the decades since the latex fective and that you have nothingto such things, and here is what I found. condom's introduction, epidemio­ worry about. However, there is one CD 16 Buffalo wings + 1 liter soda $ 4.95 Condoms can be very effective, logists have amassed considerable disease that the condom is 100% but only when they are used cor­ evidence that [the condom] does INEFFECTIVE in preventing -- the & 32 Buffalo wings + 2 liter soda $ 8.75 rectly and a separate one is used for cut disease rates, but not quite to emotional pain caused by sex out­ EVERY act of intercourse. zero" when used properly every side of marriage. Sandwiches & More Somewhere between two to five time. percent of condoms tear during use, When used infrequently or im­ Benjamin Baehr (;) 12" Sandwich + medium fountain soda $ 4.49 usually due to misuse. properly, though, the disease rate Class of 1999 (Add 0.30 for chicken, turkey, or peppers) Twenty percent ofthe men in one jumps to twelve per cent. study did not know how to put a Despite the use of condoms, 12 CD 20" Giant sandwich + 1 liter soda $ 7.25 (Add 0.50 for chicken. turkey. or peppers)

® Spaghetti & meatballs or sausage with salad Microbe: Male-to-Female: Female-to-Male: and garlic roll + 1 liter soda $ 5.99 GonOlThea 50 to 90% 20% Deliveries Available Genital Herpes 0.02% 0.05% Free Delivery 0.01 to 10% I Mon-Fri 4-9 AIDS 0.1 to 20% No Minimum Required Sat & SUIl 12-9 ~Estimated chance microbes will transmit from one infected partner to another if 489-4271 during a single act of unprotected sexual intercourse .:. We cater pizza parties with free delivery~ .:. Februarv 20, 1996 IIIg i¢1 (.'@~t ii Confessions of a Computer Dork

these pictures are more socially-pa- reality fl ick, The LalYnmoll'er Man, weeks ago? An actual (as opposed to ting. To me, this is abso lutely pa- F' I-an !111m I BIII-~ thetic than an episode of Blossom. and its "l-lasted-in-the-theater-for- virtual) man is suing his wife for a thetic, anti-social behavior. Yo u Of The Grizzly The Net was just released on video two-whole-days" sequel. divorce 011 grounds of adultery, be- never know who you are emailing, a couple weeks ago. I was unfortu- TLM deals with the creation of a cause she has maintained an explicit, people! Only a few years ago, the word nate enough to pick it off the shelves highly intelligent psychopath through adulterous e-mail correspondence And even more naive users actu- "Internet" had little to no meaning believing I was going to watch an VR from a mentally-challenged (po- (what flesh-and-blood people refer to ally give these total strangers per- whatsoever, which is a fate I am also intelligent techno-thriller (my other Iitically correct term for "dumb as as an affair) with a male/address on sonal information, such as names of hoping for the words "Pauly Shore" option was Jury Duty). cheese") adult who cuts lawns for the net. family members, home addresses, and in the near future. About ten minutes into the movie, employment and reads comics for The hubby claims he discovered exact times when nobody will be My compadre and equally vicious I knew what I was about to watch was enjoyment. his wife's unfaithful acts when he home since the family is going on doppelganger, Jared Rakes, did a fine scripted by, for lack ofa better word As if society wasn't anti-social accidentally intercepted e-mail to his vacation. Why don't you just email job in last week's Grizzly summing we are not all familiar with, a com- enough for techno-dweebs, now we wife which was sent by her techno- them: "Hey- I'm stupid and anti- up the new Telecommunications Re- puter-dork. must create an alternate conscious- Fabio about a future rendezvous- social. Wanna take advantage of form Bill, which has computer dorks F or those of us who have not seen ness for those individuals who cannot that and he found a condom stuck in me?" everywhere up in anns. daylight since the 80s, no one's entire survive in real-people-land. the hard drive. What a love story that I realize, however, that there are While some critics may view this identity as a human being can be While I really enjoyed this movie would have made for Love Connec- some rare instances when these rela- bill as a blatant slap to our First erased via computer network. Given because it does not claim to take place lion: tionships work out well, even if these Amendment rights, I rather see this as that Sandra Bullock's house-bound in the present, the concept of VR "Chuck- his typing was so quick, instances are as rare as my articles not a necessary pair of omnipresent eyes character has a desktop that looks like appears to be used as a tool that at- and not once did he make a spelling blasting Baywalch. trying to keep potential deviants from it belongs on Star Trek (or whichever tempts to enhance intelligence when error." My point is (I think) that the word parlaying information that should not crummy rehash is currently puking in reality, teenagers are using it to "Well, sounds like you two really "society" has the root of" social," and be on the net anyhow. on the networks), computer technol- beat opponents to a bloody pulp in typed it off, huh? Would you like to therefore, our existence as social hu- Sure, some may call it censorship, ogy is not quite sophisticated enough Mortal Kombat. logon with Ed 1898345.com again? man beings should not be allowed to but this uncontrolled growth of our for someone to be able to conduct an Technology is usually 90% enter- Of course, we' ll pay for your online be overcome by our e-mail addresses. computer community must have entire life over it. tainment, while 10% may be for busi- time." F or heaven's sake, go out and have someone step on the brakes quickly, While this movie may paint a bleak ness/educational use. While you (may) laugh at the seem- a couple if you need to loosen-up befure it is too late to rescue a society. picture ofthe future, it tries too hard to So maybe Hollywood's depiction ing inanity of the above, I actually your inhibitions- even rent Some current news and movies re- convince viewers that the action takes ofthe computer age is a little ex agger- know people who make friends with SholYgirls if you must- but don't fleet the extent to which this "not- place in the present. Maybe in a few ated-or is it? complete strangers via the net. They ever allow a microchip to substitute quite society" has been quickly infil- years, pal. Have you heard about the scandal- pick up names/addresses at random, for flesh (or plastic if you are on trating our minds-and quite frankly, Equal in unreality is the virtual- ous "Internet adultery" case of a few email these people, and begin chat- Baywalch).

zAck's

Welcome once again, friends. It emphasis is placed on our school act upon your every whim, and that Delivers! seems that once again I have been work, and not enough on real life in just isn't true. somewhat misunderstood. My ar­ the American school system today. We students have outside lives. ticle two weeks ago seems to have I even thought up some new words We have romances and friendships upset some people, however I just of wisdom on the subject: "The big­ which need fostering. This is very BEAT THE COLD" want to say that my intention was gest mistake that a college profes­ important, because no matter how HAVE zAck's DELIVER TO YOUR DOOR not to upset or offend anyone. sor ever made was in assuming that many books you read, or how much --+-- I'm not going to write a big long the whole of a college student's life you learn, these interpersonal rela­ ZACK'S DELIVERY MENU rebuttal this week to the articles in is college." tionships are always more impor­ last week's edition since I realize This I send out to the many mem­ tant. STEAK SANDWICH...... $260 bers of the Ursinus Faculty who We have families we would like CHEESE STEAK SANDWICH ...... 2.80 that this topic is an extremely sensi­ CHICKEN STEAK SANDWICH...... 285 tive issue, with many more aspects may not realize that we students to see once and a while. We have CHICKEN CHEESE STEAK SANDWICH .... 2 95 than I can reasonably deal with. have so much going on in our lives jobs that some of us need in order to CHICKEN FINGERS...... 2.90 MOZZARELLA STiCKS...... 1.95 Therefore, as I said, I'm not going that sometimes the burdens of work afford Ursinus' way-too-high price GOLDEN TURKEY BREAST 121N SUB ...... 4 25 to continue this cat and mouse-type you give us are impossible to com­ tag. SUBVERSIVE 12IN. SUB...... 4.25 article writing on this subject since plete. We have other commitments and 2 LITER PEPSI OR DIET PEPSI...... 2.25 Yes, I know it's shocking to you projects that are important to us as SOFT PRETZEL...... 85 none of us wants to see something 16" PLAIN PIZZA...... 6.75 like the Nagy-Oboler-Brand thing profs, but we have lives other than well, and sometimes, yes faculty, 16" PIZZA WI I OR 2 TOPPINGS...... 775 again. school work. Maybe some of you sometimes, these things are frankly 16' PIZZA WI 3 OR MORE TOPPINGS ...... 855 I just want to say that I didn't don't and that's why you feel the more important than the assignments DELIVERY MINIMUM $4.50 mean to offend anyone, I was just need to load us down with papers, you give us. DELIVERY HOURS M-F 8PM-12:30AM S-S 6PM-12:30AM taking the defensive stance that I and abstracts, and labs, and presen­ College just isn't about books and don't think the whole Ursinus Com­ tations that we simply don't have spending hours in labs or libraries. --+-- munity is racist or involved in a time to do. It's about preparing the students for IN ORDER TO ASSURE SPEEDY DELIVERY AND THE FRESHEST FOOD, "Blackout," as was suggested. Yes, we are here to learn. Yes, what's around the next comer, that OUR DELIVERY MENU IS LIMITED TO THE ITEMS LISTED ABOVE THANK I'm not dismissing this issue as that's what we and our families are fabled reality called the "real world"; YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT unimportant by any means; rather paying ridiculous amounts for us to living life is just as important, if not r------. I'm saying that I feel like I would do. more, than studying for it. DELIVERY ONLY need to understand everyone's per­ No, parties aren't more important I welcome an) .. omments from 112 PRICE I spectives to fully appreciate the is­ than studying. (sorry Reimert) members of the Ursinus Faculty on I 2 LITER PEPSI OR DIET PEPsr I sue. But what I am saying is that you what I have written. I• ______W1;:r~~ ~_~~~N 01I As for my little anti-school tan­ all have gotten too caught up in the gent last week, I stand behind what notion that we students are subordi­ Captain Jack "'COMING SOON-zAck's DELIVERY SPECIALS'" I wrote. I still think that too much nate little trolls who only serve to Febraarv 20.1991 Free Speech, Abortion, and To Bus or Not to Bus Presidential Politics &6 i a44.iii f~" m'~ for not doing one's duty? I have a MODEST PROPOSAL (a reference - - •• ••• I 11_11 •• 1l1li few ideas. Now these are just for those of you interested in litera- are exactly proponents of bodily Of The Gnzzl ideas; I could be wrong. ture) I suggest that armed security ~ ~"6h"llmB4~ rights. Buchanan wants a constitu­ Finally, at long last, the article for Idea #1: Those of you that do guards patrol the cafeteria and wound Of The Grizzly tional ban on abortion, and so does which you have been waiting. The not bus were pampered as chil- those who do not bus. Not anything Dole, with some qualifications on true story on bussing. No holds dren. Mommy and Daddy always serious, just a shot in the leg or arm. Well, I've got good news and bad the ban he would propose. Steve barred. Let me frrst say this is did everything for you, and now That should solve the problem. An- news. First, the good news. Forbes (who?) doesn't claim to fa­ directed primarily to those of you you don't know the difference. other way would be to poison the On Thursday, Feb. 15, a Federal vor a ban, but he says he wants who do NOT bus. For those of you Idea #2: Bussing is too men- yogurtmachineeverymorningwhen judge placed a restraining order on abortion to "vanish." What the heck who do, keep it up. I think UC tally challenging for you. I can see bussing was poor the previous night. the part of the telecommunications does that mean, anyway? Does he Fellowship also should get some this one. As I look at the different These factors by themselves would bill that would have infringed on think we're all just going to wake kudos here. They actually volun- groups responsible for not bus- seriously reduce the problem of bus- free speech through the Internet, up one day and have forgotten about teered to bus a couple of times. sing, I can see the lack of mental sing. In fact, if several such mea- citing the "serious, substantial" the existence of abortion? I thought Apathetic? I think not. You're skills. sures were taken, lack of bussing questions raised about the undefined Pat Buchanan was in charge of the doing a good job. And now, for Idea #3: You don't understand could be eradicated. Maybe I should term "indecent." Thanks to the moral brainwashing department. those of you that don't bus.... responsibility. According to the bring it up at the next USGA meet- ACLU and 18 other organizations, Basically, ifone ofthese guys makes You're all a bunch of slobs. I student handbook, it is your re- ing. Their idea was positive rein- the first step has been taken to place it to the top (as it) you can look mean that in the nicest possible way. sponsibility to bus your tray. No forcement Yes,governmentbureau- the Internet back into the realm of forward to some major infringe­ But, when you get down to it, it's ifs, ands, or buts. cracy at work. Positive reinforce- the First Amendment. The cases ments on your rights as they !lOW the truth. Those of you who don't Now, I insulted you intention- ment didn't work last year, so let's against the bill should be heard stand. bus leave nice disgusting messes ally. This isn't a personal attack try it again this year. within the next two weeks. I certainly am glad Clinton is for the wonderful workers in Wismer against anyone. I just wanted to Get with it people. Bussing is Now, the bad news. If you read ahead in the polls. I know he's not (that's alliteration for those of you call yOUT attention to the bussing your responsibility. One way or the my article last week (yes, all three of exactly a perfect candidate, but at with a literary inclination). It is problem (yes, it's a problem) and other, I'm sure you'll see the wisdom you), you know that information on least he has a grip on reality instead truly a shame to walk through the make you ponder why you may of my ways. abortion would be banned from com­ of a Bible and a gun. cafeteria and see the messes that are not be bussing. Please,donottake That's all for this week. Next munication on the Internet by the There's only one thing that I look left on the tables. Why do you do it? offense to the above ideas. To week's article is going to be a true new Telecommunications bill. Even forward to during all ofthis primary What possible reason could one have help, however, I plan on making A masterpiece. I assure you. ifthe part ofthe bill that dictates this stuff, and that's finding out wbat ----.:~------1 were overturned, a much more seri- Garry Trudeau will use to represent ous battle lies ahead. those boneheads in his comic strip. Do you know who the three major Probably a Bible for Buchanan, and Vicki Abt Revisited players are for the Republican party let's see... too bad he wasted the nomination? It looks like Pat bomb on Newt. Well, looks like her mouth. This one did this, the fore on Oprah Winfrey and basically Buchanan, Bob Dole, I!l1d Steve that's all the bizarre insight that's fit other said that. It truly was sick­ told me I should stop watching so Forbes. Wait... put the gun down! It to print this week. Besides, I need to ening to see someone who had the many talk shows and read a book. can't be that bad! leave room for Todd's analysis of Now that I have been a good letters "Ph.D." following her name Another young woman questioned Maybe it can. None of these guys bussing and USGA. little reporter and given you "just stoop to such an ignorant level. Dr. Abt's justification for her various the facts," (see page 1) I have to In short Dr. Abt became a talk talk show appearances. Her re­ report what really happened. show host with her topic of the sponse was that because she was GRizzl(Y AnnooncementsU First of all, Vicki Abt, Ph.D., day: Trashy Talk Show Hosts and speaking against talk shows it was needs a few lessons in communica­ Why I am Better Than They Are. okay. The young woman was not • Last call for editors! If you are interested in being tions arts before she should call After a while she stopped talk- satisfied with this answer and tried editor of The Grizzly, pick up an application from Dr. herself a speaker -- she was the to pursue further, but Dr. Abt did Kelley (Olin 319). All applications are due by Friday, worst I have ever seen! She not allow this. She simply ex­ February was a little awkward in the be­ "It trtA-t!:1 WCitS sickevtLvtg to pressed her disappointment in the 23. ginning, but that is to be ex­ see someovte who hCitct the young woman for not seeing the pected: l.etters ·Ph.D.'joHoWLvtg her difference and moved on. • The Grizzly darkroom (basement of Pfahler) will be After five minutes of speak­ vtCitme stoop to su.ch Citvt She continued insulting cleaned out over Spring Break. Anyone who has I ing, realized that this wasn't igvtorCitvtt I.eveL" those who asked questions of her personal items in the darkroom should remove them. just nerves; she had no point. by either belittling the person or Anything left will be thrown out! ! She was just rattling of facts cutting them off before they had from her own research and actually asked a question. After • The Grizzly would like to remind the Ursinus ing (an answer to my prayers) and quoting others' research. Maybe what seemed like forever, she ran out community of our submission policy: she was trying to impress us, 1 am asked if there were any questions. of time and we were all invited to not sure, but I am sure that she was I explained that I remembered see­ Olin 104 for treats. I wanted to '" All submissions are due the Friday before making very little sense. ing her on Oprah Winfrey and approach her, but I didn't. I could not pUblication by 12 noon. Finally, she began to explain how asked what I thought was a reason­ argue with her about her research. she went about her research. Hal­ able question regarding whether I agree that talk shows, in general, '" All submissions must be on disk, as well as on a lelujah, a point! Wrong. This, my or not talk shows help give expo­ exploit, manipulate, and lie to get hard copy. friends, is where the garbage be­ sure to problems such as domestic ratings. They care very little about '" Articles should be typed on WordPerfect 5.1 or gan. Dr. Abt began bashing any violence. who they hurt and make all problems Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 (mM compatible and every talk show host she had Her response, in a nut shell, was seem solvable. I realized that it was computers). ever come in contact with. Geraldo that domestic violence isn't really not Dr. Abt's findings that offended '" We request that all submissions be kept to 500 insulted her, Oprah asked for fash­ a problem in the United States. me, it was simply Dr. Abt. I wouldn't words or less. ion advice and Rolonda flat 01 t Talk shows and the media just blow be surprised if I saw her again, on '" The Grizzly reserves the right to edit any and aU lied. it out of proportion. Apparently some other talk show, but happily I submissions for purposes of space, grammar and Gossip just came spewing out of she had heard this argument be- can just tum her off. libel. FeliraaIY 20. 199& r------~ Celebrate Womenls rva{entine's Spectacu{ar 13rings f£{egant 'Dining to Zac/(s Have Achievement Week! with cream puffs, cheese cake and 'fun this the like finished off a wonderful Women of the Ursinus Community are invited to show­ dinner. case their talents on Wednesday, March 27, from 7:30- This Valentine's alternative was summer! 10:30 p.m. in Wismer Lower Lounge. What did you think of when you brought to us by Denise Oldt and Singers, dancers, writers, painters, etc. all are encouraged planned your Valentine's spectacu­ her food service team. to attend and perform. lar this year? Maybe you pulled out Overall, I would recommend this your favorite red sweater or perhaps Spend time at This event is part of the week-long "Celebration of program for next year. I would, you indulged in some flowers and however, like to suggest that the the Jersey Shore! Women's Achievements." Information about other events candy for your special someone this service team be more prepared for will be available within the next two weeks. Hallmark holiday past. In any case, the event. My date and I spent an Great deals on Please submit this form outside Dr. Kelley's office, Olin you probably did not consider a trip hour and forty-five minutes sitting summer rentals are 319, by Feb. 23 to participate. to Zack's as part of your romantic through our meal. In any case, I interlude. would like to commend the staff still available! Well, I did, and I was very happy who helped put this program to­ Name(s): with my results! gether. First, my date and I were greeted If this enchanted evening sounded at the door ofZack's by our lovely like fun to you, come sign-up for the host and hostess, Todd McKinney next Restaurant Night in Wismer Phone: and Carol Brewer. I was given a red that's occuring on February 26. Avalon Real Estate Agency rose as we were escorted into the The menu for this event will in­ 30th and Dune Drive fine dining section of the famous clude a choice of vegetable stuffed Avalon. NJ 013202 Zack's. chicken, Trout, or Vegetable Lasa­ Address: I had never seen Zack's look so gna. This event is a bit different W (609) 967-3001 nice. All of the tables were covered from the Valentine's spectacular that with white linen table cloths and red Zack's provided, but it will still or W (215) 925-0739 Talent you'll be showcasing: napkins, while jazz music set the present the same great food and mood for the evening. atmosphere. You can sign up in the The food was cooked to perfec­ Food Services Office in Wismer; Ask for Paul or tion and the service came with a reservations begin at five. See you Randy Leiser sm ile. The fancy dessert cart topped at the restaurant! Bon appetit!

Props needed: What's Up In Wellness?

Self-Esteem Essential to Emotional and Mental Health Approx. time for performance/presentation: and frustration all have an impact certain expectations, feel unlikable, ~ IIii !I!Ii!ti!,*" ~ on a person's self-esteem. These and undependable, then you have Of The Gnzzl feelings can hold us back from try­ poor self-esteem. How you really ing new experiences, causing us to feel about yourself can make a dif­ Questions? I'm sure everyone has heard about isolate ourselves. ference in your life. Levels ofself-esteem vary in each So, if you wish to improve your E-mail MKELLEY or contact Heather Mead self-esteem, whether it was in your ESS 100 class or some other course. self-esteem here are some sugges­ tions: - ____ ------_. However, do you understand what "Self-esteem is the feeling it is and why it is important for • Set realistic goals for yourself everyone? Basically, self-esteem is that you have inherent • Realize that you are only human : ••••••••••••••• • • • •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • .: how you feel about yourself, physi- value and ability -- and and subject to make mistakes · C~ A ~r-r-R A.II~HT • cally and emotionally. How you the capacity to face fail­ • Use your mistakes as learning • ~,,~~~ 1~/\,3j • feel about yourself is a critical com- ure without lOSing that experiences : • ponent of how you handle life with good feeling. " • Accept your strengths and weak­ • On iJ'uesaay, 27tli of1'ehruary, tlie 'E.5S C[uE is sponsering : all its stresses, failures, successes, nesses : Career 9(jglit. %is eflent 1IJi{[ 6e Iiefi[ in 1f.efJ 201 (tlie : and eventually joy and happiness. • Learn to be assertive : mirror room) at 7:30 pm.. and is open to af[ stru£ents. : Studies have shown that self-es- Dr. Catherine Chambliss • • teem may be connected to the key to • Don't let the criticisms of others • overall emotional and mental health. affect you as a person !R.icf(1f.ess 1IJi{[ discuss tlie iJ'eac.liing iJ'rac.t Sue .YfJulerson : For instance, people with positive individual. Some people may have • Mostimportantly-don'ttakeyour­ • 1f.ess, Pliysical'lTUrapyi Sfiannon sa1litfge, Corporate : self-esteem typically display poise, low self-esteem, while others have self so seriously! confidence, and self-assurance, a more positive sense of self-es­ If you have any questions con­ : f/itness at 'Pl(Ji Jeff1Jaflitlson, 1(p;reational'lTUrapyi and: while people with low self-esteem teem. If you see yourself as worthy, cerning self-esteem or want to talk likeable, dependable, and so forth, : 'Tun 9.lU£1lihi££, !A:tli£etic iJ'raining at Cabrini coffege. : ::::;,ea~~l~:;~~:s t~f~e:~:~~~~:~ to a counselor, contact the Wellness you have positive self-esteem. On Center. : /p"h, Ii 1IJi{[ 6 rod. : ness. Various feelings, such as fear the other hand, if you feel you are a JU'J''tS TtUnts e se . • of failure, fear of rejection, anger, failure because you cannot meet ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• . ~~

20,11'16 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••A~ JZ ~ f~ •••• • Movie Mania ••••• The 1995 Academy Award Nominations

Braveheart and even the the Academy did not nominate is due for a win. She is a truly gifted should WIn tor hiS excellent por. children's movie Babe to win. The Golden Globe winner John Travolta actress and deserves to win. How­ trayal ofMission Commander Gene Academy has mi ffed many critics for Get Shorty, and Tom Hanks did ever, do not count out Sense and Kranz. because they did not nominate not receive a best actor nomination Sensibility's Emma Thompson and Best Supporting Actress is, again, Perhaps the only endearing trait LeavingLas Vegas and DeadMan for the third year in a row for his the aforementioned Masterpiece almost impossible to even venture about Valentine's Day, the most Walking, two critically acclaimed performance in Apollo 13. Although Theatre factor. a guess. Although Kathleen inanely stupid holiday of the year, Quinlan was great in Apollo 13, I is that I can always look forward to think the Masterpiece Theatre fac. the Academy Award Nominations. tor will again prevail, thus allow. There are a lot of surprises, and I 199; Acabm1\j Awarb ing Kate Winslet to win for Sense believe there will be a very unpre­ and Sensibility. dictable Oscar race this year. I As for best director, I think Mel would like to say in advance that NomiMatim1S Gibson will get the Oscar, because this will not be a particularly good the Academy seems to like it when article because I have seen only The Movie Maniac's fearless predictions in bold actors get behind the camera, such one of the best picture nominees as Kevin Costner in Dances With (Apollo 13) and I based most ofthis Best Picture- Apollo 13, Babe, Braveheart, The Postman (ll Postino), Sense and Sensibility Wolves, and Clint Eastwood in article on the cor.lmentary of other Unforgiven. critics. Also, because this year's Best Actor- Nicolas Cage- Leaving Las Vegas, Richard Dreyfuss- Mr. Holland's Opus, Anthony My main complaint is in the Best race seems to be so unpredictable, Hopkins- Nixon, Sean Penn- Dead Man Walking, Massimo Troisi- The Postman (n Postino) Original Screenplay category. many of my picks will probably be Seven, which I think had the best wrong. Best Actress- Susan Sarandon, Dead Man Walking, Elisabeth Shue- Leaving Las Vegas, Sharon Stone, story of any movie I saw this year, Mel Gibson's Scottish epic Casino, Meryl Streep- The Bridges ofMadison County, Emma Thompson- Sense and Sensibility was not nominated. Braveheart leads the pack with 10 The horse-race is wide open this nominations, closely followed by Best Supporting Actor- James Cromwell- Babe, Ed Harris- Apollo 13, Brad Pitt- Twelve Monkeys, Tim year. It will be very unpredictable, Apollo 13 with 9. The Academy Roth- Rob Roy, Kevin Spacey- The Usual Suspects and no film will dominate. I said widely distributed the awards this last year and I was wrong. among the top categories, with no Best Supporting Actress- Joan Allen- Nixon, Kathleen Quinlan- Apollo 13, Mira Sorvino- Mighty because Forrest Gump dominated, movie dominating like Forrest Aphrodite, Mare Winningham- Georgia, Kate Winslet- Sense and Sensibility but this year I really mean it. I look Gump or Schindler's List in previ­ forward to watching the awards, ous years. Best Director- Mike Figgis- Leaving Las Vegas, Mel Gibson- BTaveheart, Chris Noonan- Babe, Michael because they should be quite excit· Like most categories this year, Radford- The Po~tman (11 Postino), Tim Robbins- Dead Man Walking ing. Best Picture is up in the air. I am guessing it will be Sense and Sen­ Best Origblal Screeplay- BTlIVeheart, Mighty Aphrodite, Nixon, Toy Story, The Usual Suspects Movie quote of the week- Yes, sibility, mainly due to its win at the lightning has struck twice, because Golden Globe awards, and what Best Adapted Screenplay- Apollo 13, Babe, Leaving Las Vegas, The Postman (11 Postino), Sense and a tie has occurred for the s_ many refer to as the "Masterpiece Sensibility week in a row! Seth Tannertalllled Theatre factor," which is the ten­ to me at dinner and Tom Perry left dency ofcritics and members ofthe For more information on the Oscars on the World Wide Web visit http://www.abc.com. or http:// me a voice mail message at exactly Academy to go gah-gah over the www.oscan.org/ampas/ 6:00. This is great because it a1. "Boring, Snotty British" (Dis: lows more people to be eligible for claimer: I personally do not think the Batman trilogy. Maybe there the British are boring and snotty, films. Hanks did a wonderful job in that Best Supporting Actor is also will be a three-way tie next week! and I am only paraphrasing what Best Actor will be an eaSy deci­ film, I didn't think his performance hard to pin down, because all five The quote, "This is notthe work of several insiders have said, so don't sion-it seems as if Nicolas Cage was quite Oscar-caliber. of these actors delivered superb a cook" is from the Steven seagal write any nasty opinion articles in Leaving Las Vegas will win Best Actress is up in the air. I will performances. As I expected, Ed chopfest Under Siege. This week's about me!). Other critics are pre­ hands down. Many critics and put my money on Susan Sarandon. Harris received a well-deserved quote is "I'm the ghost with the dicting an upset, expecting movie fans alike are unhappy that This is her fifth nomination, and she nomination for Apollo 13, and most, baby!"

\lVVOU lNill be conducting a t-shirt promotion beginning february ., 9[ cost is $9.00 per shirt!

shirts lNill also be alNarded as prizes To be an organ and tissue donor. even if you've on IIVVOU programs! signed something. you must tell your family""'" so they ca.n carry out your decilion later. For a for a look at our t-shirt design, visit our free brochure on how to talk to your ramily, c.all front door in the basement of 1-800.355·SHARE. bomberger hall!

• J i , f~ 20, 1~% ••••••••••••••••••••••• • ••••••••••••••••••••••• WVOU: State of the Station

We have no real advertisers to prised of forgotten equipment will be their shows occasionally and ex­ only milk the campus for as much as speak of. However, I see no need set up for DJs once we finish furnish­ pect to muster a following. In addi­ they can, leaving a mess behind for to be ashamed ofstill having prob­ ing our new quarters. We now have a tion, I hear complaints, time and others to clean up. I, however, in­ lems to address. I attribute the homepage on the Internet, accessible time again, that until the College tend to leave behind for the next In the fall of 1992, at the begin­ reduced schedule mainly to my by way of the Ursinus College properly invests in WVOU, there is manager of WVOU an organization ning of my freshman year, I at­ own failure to publicize the sta­ homepage under Student Communi­ no reason to participate. It is this that is actually organized. tended the Ursinus Activities Fair tion. I remind everyone that cations. The Physics Department has pessimistic attitude which afflicts There's still a solid three months and signed up for WVOU, the WVOU is here, is operating, and graciously lent us a computer, which just about every student-run organi­ to go in this semester, and my work Ursinus College radio station. Hav­ has time available for new pro­ we now use for designing flyers, cata­ zation. It is up to the student body to is by no means done. WVOU oUght ing heard very little about the sta­ gramming. I plead with my DJs to loging new music, and may eventu- demonstrate interest in activities first to bring news, sports, music con­ tion in the weeks following the Fair please be patient, as bro- and then approach certs, and guest speakers to the and realizing that my studies were ken equipment will be the College with re­ Ursinus airways. WVOU should consuming most ofmy time, I opted repaired or replaced as quests for additional as­ seek a separate campus telephone notto pursue a program on WVOU. promised. And I put the Despite our presently modest sistance. And fmances extension for call-in shows. WVOU Late in 1994, I remembered my call out to any inter­ aside, students must needs to keep thorough databases original intention to get involved in ested parties who would broadcast range, I have realize that true radio of its music library and its contacts WVOU and began a program. My like to do legwork for attempted to manage WVOU requires mature, prop­ at record companies. These tasks best friend and I decided to conduct WVOU in an advertis­ erly trained partici- will take more than one year to I political talk show with music ing capacity. The expe­ with the future in mind. pants. WVOU may yet complete, and no one could possi­ selections interspersed. We enjoyed rience would be valu­ become a licensed sta- bly achieve it all singlehandedly. doing the program, but the facilities able to anyone who an- tion, but not until stu­ However, the necessary framework were in dire need ofattention. Rather ticipates a career in sales. ally use for the recording and airing of dents convince the College that they is now in place to bring it all within 1ban simply whine about WVOU as On the other hand, beneath the our public service announcements. can be trusted to inform and enter­ reach. Students just have to want to another neglected student activity surface, WVOU is on a slow but And in case you hadn't noticed, tain an audience which includes the reach for it. and then just quit altogether, I de­ steady upward climb. Our fIrst WVOU has been granted permission community at large. No matter how you look at it, the cided to throw my hat into the ring official promotion, a t-shirt sale, to broadcast in the Wismer Dining This station has a new lease on State of the Station can only be and see what I could accomplish. is now underway. Our facilities in Hall. life. My successor won't face the described as hopeful. While WVOU Now, after nine months at the the basement of Bomberger Hall Most importantly, I must reiterate same tasks I did. In fact, I intend to is always looking for more DJs and helm, WVOU seems, on the sur­ have also recently expanded, for what I stated at the beginning of the pass along what I've learned. You always facing new tests, the threat face, to be reverting back to its prior which we owe the Administration semester. As much effort as I person­ see, I'm not just doing this for me. of collapse has been turned back. state. Membership this semester is and the Physical Plant of Ursin us ally put into this station, the success I'm doing this for those who come WVOU has a future at Ursinus and indeed markedly less than what we College many thanks. An edit­ ofWV OU rests on the student body in after me. I know the feeling, fresh­ you should be part of it. began with in September. Equip­ ing-and-listening station com- general. DJs can't decide to only do men, that upperclassmen seem to ment is still in need of replacement. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Airband Proceeds to ATL Computers - Collegeville help Student Ryan Auch Advanced Tech Lab., Inc cert . Even "ith his improve­ Redner's Shopping Center - (610) 489-8858 ments, Ryan's re-: ovf'ry has taken a costly toll on his family. Be­ Upgrades .:. Repairs .:. Service tween chemotherapy and the ex­ On March 1, 1996 there will be an pensive medications, his medical • Customized IBM Clones ct'POrtunity for everyone in the bills have exceeded the amount • All Major Brands Uninus community to help out one that any family can be expected to • Wholesale & Retail • Network Support of our own students, Ryan Auch, pay. • PC Systems/Components • Data Recovery _50f'98. This is where the students of • Peripherals & Accessories • On-Site or Carry-in Approximately one year ago, Ursinus College can help. Airband Iyan, a Collegeville resident, was will be held on March 1, 1996, at Ask about our discount for Ursinus students, faculty, and staff! 4lIgn05ed with acute lymphocytic 8 p.m. For anyone who is not leukemia, and has undergone a bone familiar with this popular activ­ ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• transplant. Even with the ity, Airband is an entertaining lip­ being eradicated, Ryan' s synch contest sponsored by the system has been severely Residence Life Association. ATTENTION CI.UBI! making it dangerous for Our R.A.s have been busy writ­ be exposed to the germs of ing letters requesting that local businesses donate money and spoken with some of pri zes to this charitable event. Now is the time to order custom silk-screened at Ursinus, I have They have been successful thus t-shirts at reduced rates! he is doing wel l, and is far in their search for supporters. in good spirits. Hopefully Among these contributors are the I of 1996, he will be able to faculty and staff of Ursinus, as to campus. No\\- that he is well as Greek organlzationc; and Call no'A' for more information to go on more outings. even other student clubs. Airband'c; the limitations on their dura­ admi~",ion price is only five dol­ if 1-800-481-3998 Ryan will oon be attending a lars. Come out, support a worthy anticipated Beach Boys cun- cause, and have a great time' .:. SILK-SCREENED T-SHIRTS .:• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• It's not a private family matter. Every nine seconds another woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend. And unless we all work together, it's never going to stop. For information about how you can help stop domestic violence, call 1- 800 -777 -1960.

, ~11 ' EJ~.. , E~, 1? 81l1Q.. EX.C: ,U S E :~:jl'~~tf~J ~::;;,~ .... }/:.... , ~J;": for Domestic Violence. r.trI Family Violence ~~ Prevention Fund Februarv 20, 1996 iai' Lady Bears Get Crushed By Muhlenburg

Host Muhlenburg started the champion vs. the #2 West team and midway through the half. Guys Come Up Short game with a 12-0 run and went on to the Western champion vs. the #2 Sarah Clarke led four Mules in rout Ursinus, 82-46, in a Centennial East team. The team with the better double figures scoring with 13 Conference Eastern Division game. record gets the home court. points. Junior Steph Casperson led In Muhlenburg The victory won the Mules (12-3, Muhlenburg held Ursinus score­ UC with 12 points, and sophomore 18-6) the Eastern title. This devel­ less for the flIst 5 :43 and built a 12- Megan Larkin grabbed a game-best opmentsend the Lady Bears to Johns o lead. UC cut the margin to seven, nine rebounds. Larkin now has 245 Hopkins in the flIst round of the 29-22, on 2 free throws from senior rebounds for the season and needs Team Ends Season playoffs on Feb. 21. Hopkins routed Laura Coulter with I :31 left in the 12 in this week's home game and in Dickinson, 77-59, to win the West­ half. . But the Mules pulled away to the playoffs to tie Trina Derstine­ ern Title. Centennial Conference a 37-25 lead at the intermission and Stutzman's single season record. Senior swingman Chris with a 13-2 run and fmished the half basketball playoffs uses the Eastern put the game away with a 23-2 run Cervellero's jumper with no time with a 14-4 spurt. remaining from just inside the three Michael Queenan led Muhlenburg point line clanged off the rim as the with 26 points, including 20 in the Congratulation to the buzzer sounded, leaving the Bears flIst half. Chris Bedell who was coming up short against the Mules denied on a tomahawk dunk by Pat ofMuhlenburg, 67-65. The win left Buyse fmished with 18 points and a Men's Basketball the Mules at 8-5 in the conference game high 11 rebounds. giving them the final Eastern Divi­ For the Bears, Pat Buyse tied his Graduating Seniors sion playoff spot. The loss ended career high with 25 points. He w~nt the Bears' playoff hopes and sea­ crazy in the second half, scoring 17 son. of his 25 after the intermission. #20 Chris CerveUero #42 Fred Luck Ursinus(6-7, 11-13) trailed by 16, Buyse also grabbed a team-high six 43-27, at the half but battled back to rebounds. Freshman guard Jason #44 Aaron Harken # 11 Bernie Rogers tie the game at 62, when Pat Buyse O'Neill scored 16 points, and Fred completed a three-point play with Luck added ten. 3:12 to play. After the teams traded Congratulations to the seniors who three-point baskets, Jeff Grahm's have ended their careers at Ursinus: Anyone interested in covering layup with 1: 11 to go sewed up the Chris Cervellero, Aaron Harken, win for Muhlenburg. The lay-in Fred Luck, and Bernie Rogers. spring sports for The Grizzly? was Graham's only shot that fell for Bernie fmishes his career as a 1,000 him all evening. point scorer and the all-time UC Two Muhlenburg runs highlighted assist leader. their win. They began the game Contact Charlie Weingroff or Joel Schofer A PHILLY FAN

cleared that up .... Phillies starting rotation can not you who don't know what I'm elected closer Ricky Bottalico, Who, among the reporting pitch­ throw as hard as their wives, saying ... TRANSLA nON: The newly appointed set-up man Toby ers and catchers, do we recognize, girl fiends, children, Josh Hartle, man is fat! Obese!! Very, very, Borland, and newly acquired Ken care about, or is actually able to Scott Chalbert (well known for his very large!!! He does somehow Ryan. Aside from that we've got Lately there's been a spring in my perform their designated function? ability to externally rotate his shoul­ manage to pitch in this state, though, old crap. step, the snow's not quite as dirty, That is the question that will be der), Gino Cerulli (well known for and pitch he better because we need The catcher situation is almost as the food's lost that lingering after­ answered this week in "The Philly his ability to eat a cheesesteak), or him. crazy as the starting rotation. We taste, and no longer do I want to Fan," so, if you were looking for lefty Pam Chlad. What was I saying Former first-round draft pick know who the starter is, Benito implode Phahler Hall. some Flyers commentary, you might about the snow, food, and Tyler Green is still floating around Santiago, the man who fires a rocket Have I slipped into some kind of fmd some in "The Wagon." You'll Phahler??? like one of his knuckle curves in the launcher from his knees, but who is unexplained euphoria? Have hours fmd none here. No need to worry, Philly fans, the second half of last season, when he the backup? ofmonotonous lectures fmally taken We'll begin by looking at three candidates for the other 40 percent went 0-5 with a 10.68 ERA in 12 Is it Lenny Webster, who just their toll? members of the Phillies starting ro­ of the starting rotation can all throw games. Hopefully he can revert to signed a new deal and is rumored to Not really. It's just that spring tation who all have some important a baseball. How well is debatable. his flIst halfform and string two 8- have thrown the ball to second base training has officially begun, and things in common -- Curt Schilling, Sid Fernandez is our most reliable 4 halves together. on only two bounces? Is it Mike the world's somehow a better place David West, and Bobby Munoz. and healthy pitcher. Now, that state­ The other Greene, otherwise "I'm a Catcher in a Second When everyone who can throw a 90 Schilling, West, and Munoz are all ment (in itself) is enough to shake known as Tommy, has yet to throw Baseman's Body" Lieberthal? Or mile per hour fastball actually be­ being counted on to contribute sig­ the earth, for it's simply an unwrit­ harder than me, but he's still trying. is it newly acquired Rick Wrona? gins doing it. nificantly to the starting rotation. ten rule that Fernandez never be Mike Grace, of the 1-1 record in two Rick Wrona??? (I am currently Before I get carried away, I must All three also have had recent surgi­ mentioned in the same sentence as starts, is taking up space, as is my vomiting.) Lieberthal's the man. stop and make something clear. In cal procedures. Oddly enough all the word "healthy" -- unless ac­ favorite Michael Mimbs. He is my Well, this has been a really posi­ no way did I mean to imply that three are not scheduled to begin companied by a negative, ofcourse. favorite, all sarcasm aside, and I tive Philly Fan, as most are I guess. anyone on the Phillies pitching staff throwing from a mound until May The man's got four digit cholesterol look for him to be a steady starter Nextweek'stopic: could The Ph illy can throw a 90 mile per hour heater. at the earl iest. (Yes, I said "at the count, a three digit LDL to HDL for the Phils this season. Fan exist without mention of Josh (Recent surgery has been known to earliest" and I meant it.) ratio, and a lot of triglycerides In the bullpen we've got newly Hartle's name? hinder such things.) Now that I've To summarize, 60 percent of the packed away for later use. For all of SPORTS Febmlrv 20, ..

Bears Place Four At Eastern Regionals Wrestling Ortman Set For Nationals For Third Straight Year

Ursinus senior ISO-pounder Mike Western Maryland, and Gettysburg, as the only Centennial Conference Muhlenburg senior Pete Shimpkin, pinned again in the consolation Ortman dropped a heart breaking 4- were joined by national powers qualifiers. He is also the first Ursinus 11-5. In the consolation semis, semis by Kings' Dennis Morgan. 3 overtime rideout decision to de­ Delaware Valley and Lycoming, as wrestler to qualify three straight Torsone beat Messiah's Ron However, in the 5th-6th consola­ fending champion Darin Keim , of well as Kings, Messiah, times, since Greg Gifford qualified Whitehead,5-2. In the consolation tion, Guzzo overcame undue bad­ Lycoming, at the NCAA Eastern Elizabethtown, and Scranton. Each four times from 1978-S1. fmal for third place, Torsone won in gering from his corner to pin Regional Qualifier at Gettysburg team gets one wrestler at each weight Ortman, the #2 seed, began the overtime, 3-2, over Lycoming's Lycoming's Mark Lovelace in 5:32 College on Saturday. However, class. The fITst place winners get tournament by tech fall ing Leb Val's Jerry Borland to pick up the fifth place fmish. Ortman received one of the East bids to the nationals, and the 16 James Schwalm, 22-7. He then Junior Tom Guzzo placed fifth at Junior 142 pounder Case) region's seven wild card bids, and coaches vote on the remaining seven stuck Gettysburg's Mike Crocco in 134 pounds. Guzzo got to the semis O'Donnell fmished sixth aftermak. will participate in the NCAA Divi­ from the second through fourth place 3:3S. In the semis, Ortman with a pin over Haverford's Stewart ing the semis. In the semis, sion 1II Championships forthe third winners at each weight class. decisioned Messiah's Todd Morgan and a 12-7 decision over O'Donnell, the #2 seed, fell to Kings' straight year. Ortman was the fITst wild card to be Harrington, S-3. Gettysburg's Brad McCucheon. In Kevin Lesoine, 3-2. The East Regionals consists of voted to go. Bears junior Darren Torsone the semis, Guzzo was pinned by The only other UC quarterfmal iJI the 16 teams of both the Centennial Ortman will join Gettysburg's 167 placed third at liS. In the semis, eventual champion Justin Barbush was 177 pound freshman Eric Trim· Conference and thf' MAC. Centen­ pounder Jake Dell, who took first, Torsone was decisioned by of Elizabethtown. Guzzo was mer. nial powers, UC, Muhlenburg,

CHUCK'S WAGON

The all-star game, if not any NBA He knew he didn't deserve it. True, when half the time he watches the well as many of the mid 80s Oileli game, is for entertainment. It's not the MVP voting takes place after puck 100 feet away in the other scattered around the league, will supposed to be competitive. It's not three quarters, but why? Why in the zone. But it is impressive; and espe­ in the Hall of Fame some day, and supposed to have defense. Basket­ world does the fourth quarter not cially for a 30-something year old it's nice to see that he has regained Grant Hill of the Detroit Pistons is ball can be very entertaining when count? I'll tell you why. Because it to play every game is really impres­ his standing as a phenom. an inconsiderate dirty rotten piece it's played helter-skelter, like in the was Shaq, and everybody wants a sive. Now I've never played orga­ Ok, last week saw the Enforcer of trash; that is the overlying, first five minutes. The fITst minutes shot at the best. nized football or basketball, so I'm Sean Leahy be the fITst of many to overcasted, underlining, or perhaps had more no-look, behind the back, The whole game was sloppy, but not qualified to speak about actu­ know thatNo Holds Barredbrougl1 underlying sentiment that I left with off the scoreboard, through the bor­ honestly, I did enjoy watching it. ally playing those sports. But I can Zeus into the WWF after Hulk after the NBA All-Star game last ough of Biglerville, stick it up your It's just a shame that the game re­ speak about hockey, baseball, and Hogan hogged up all the spotlight weekend. It's also my sentiment nose with a rubber hose passes than sembled more of a pro wrestling ping pong, especially since me and on the set. Of course, Zeus didn't concerning a certain coach. The all the games in the regular season outcome than an NBA game. And Don Solomander sent Darren like that and came into the WWT NBA All-Star game was a travesty. for the last five years. And that's a some of you still thought wrestling Torsone and Bear packing from the and left Hogan laid out on mullipk There are many things from that lot of nice passes. Watching Shaq was real. Pathmark Classic in Mahwah, NJ. occasions. They never foughtooe· game that were sickening, but let shoot a three is entertaining. It's Honestly, it is just a coincidence Actually it was in Donny Asper's on-one because there was no way me expound on Mr. Hill fITst. First comical. It's interesting and in­ that Sports Illustrated had an article awesome basement, where my un­ they could have made it look at aD ofall, Grant Hill is just another thief triguing. Like a good Scooby 000 on Grant Fuhr (pronounced Joey orthodox yet sick style and skills realistic where Hogan could staBl that steals in the night, because he episode, you can't wait to see if the Simione, with a short E this time). kept Torsone and Bear on their front up to Tiny Lister. That's Zeus' real should not have been starting. He is shot falls just as much as when the Grant Fuhr's resurgence has been foot all day. name. They all have real names. just another NBA poster child cre­ culprit at the end says, "I would something I've wanted to discuss Back to hockey, I've played goalie Back to the Enforcer. He and .. ation that sucks up fan votes be­ have gotten away with it, ifit wasn't for a while now. It has been my since I was six or seven. Why I rity have not tracked do'" cause he runs around in Fila shoes. for those meddling kids." opinion for some time that Grant decided not to play in college is one Chalbert's assailant. However He's phony; he should have been a Shaq was the all-star game MVP. Fuhr is the best goaltender to ever of the plethora of bad choices that sources say that she has struck .... reserve, if an all-star at all, and he's Ask anybody. Ask Katits, ask play hockey on Earth. Maybe some led me to this hell hole of a school. via phone, where luckily GecIf rotten. Here's why: with five sec­ Hartle, ask the chick that continues goalie on Mercury is faster or one It's not alljust sit in front of the goal Zeppos was able to set her straii' onds and change left in the game, to harass Chalbert (I'll get to that from Pluto has really flappy ears and let the puck hit you. You have I hope whoever this is knows SCIi he's running the break, being a ball later), ask The Enforcer Sean Leahy, and orange skin, but Grant Fuhr is to be able to do everything a skater because if you don't, you raII1 hog, for the East. Shaq, who earlier ask Teshome, hell, you can even great. Most current hockey fans has to do and do it as one of the need to get a life. The Wagon is. said he would take five threes, was ask Kyle Dean. They'll all tell you didn't follow hockey in the early to better players on the team. Ifyou're about inside jokes, and you'renot' waiting wide open at the arc, and that when Shaq scores 25 and gets mid-SOs when the Oilers, led by a superstar, you start in the NHL at it. Hill doesn't even look his way and ten boards and sends David Fuhr and couple of guys in their age IS. You're2S,andyou'reaten passes to somebody under the bas­ Robinson to a dumpster on Sesame prime named Gretzky, Kurri, year veteran. That's just simple ket. That's awful. It's sickening, Street with one of the more awe­ Coffey, and Messier, stopped the math. To sustain your skills as a 33 and it's terrible. It's hor-ren-dous. some dunks ever, he is the MVP. Islander dynasty, and began one of or 35 year old, which is not all that Grant Hill should never be allowed But no. Michael Jordan didn't their own. Grant Fuhr played every old forthe other sports, against play­ to play in an all-star game again even play in the fourth quarter and game in goal back then too. ers predom inately ten years younger until he writes "1 will pass to Shaq" had far less impact, and gets the Maybe it doesn't seem impressive than you is very impressive. That's on the chalkboard I 00 times. MVP. Jordan knew what was up. for a 20 year old to play SO games not simple math. Grant Fuhr, as sure was all yours.