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BAGP THE IPE

1955 2012

C O E V E E G N A N T C O L L Thursday,THE January 24, 2012 - Vol. 59.15 14049 Scenic Highway, LookoutBAGPIPE Mountain, Georgia, 30750 bagpipeonline.com McElrath Growers’ Club making to resign changes by Mary Grace Stocker by Garrison Dale Starting off the spring semester, art students in Professor Ken Local produce is a growing trend McElrath’s classes were informed in our culture, and the trend has that, due to increasing demands made its way to Covenant. The of his newest company, Skuid, Growers’ Club and the Campus McElrath would only be present Stewardship Committee (CSC) for half his classes during the are partnering with Chartwells semester. According to Profes- to bring fresh, locally grown sor Jeff Morton, head of the Art produce to the Great Hall this Department, the needs of McEl- spring. rath’s company led him to make After its establishment in a more permanent change. Charlie Brock is headed to Launch Tennessee Nooga.com 2007, the Growers’ Club has “Professor McElrath has been giving students hands-on resigned from his position as As- experience using sustainable sociate Professor of Art. The work gardening techniques. The club that Ken has put into developing CO. LAB in transition grows its produce in the campus two digital labs has been very greenhouse located between important to our program, but our by Kendi Anderson CO.LAB was founded by two nizing the opportunities, and Mills and Founders just before program is not just about tech- Covenant alums, Enoch Elwell maximizing the potential of any the first floor entrance. nology. It’s about people, and I A change is underway at the and Sheldon Grizzle, who de- early-stage business is essential “The goals of the Growers’ think Ken’s presence is going to be Company Lab (CO.LAB), a scribed CO.LAB as “a startup to survival.” Club this semester are to team missed,” said Morton. Chattanooga-based startup helping startups.” Grizzle is excited about the up with the Campus Steward- Over the years, students have accelerator, as Charlie Brock is “CO.LAB is a resource in the direction that CO.LAB is ship Committee, and to start been challenged by McElrath’s ap- leaving and Mike Bradshaw is region to generate new ideas, headed and sees Bradshaw as a composting,” said president proach to teaching, whether in 2D joining the team as a full-time new businesses, new wealth, useful addition as “a phenom- of the Growers’ Club Pris- Design, Communication Design, entrepreneur-in-residence. and a new economy,” according enal coach and mentor, with cilla Burns. “We are planning to Advanced Photography, or Art Brock is leaving to be the to Elwell. They do this through experience beginning and run- restore the greenhouse and get History. president and CEO of Launch various programs aimed to help ning startups.” ready to plant this spring. We’d “He’s my favorite art professor Tennessee, a partnership that Chattanooga startups succeed. “To help a startup,” Grizzle like to till the whole area and get here because he mixes the busi- supports the development “Starting a new business is said, “you have to have the a full garden set up as a pilot for ness world and the art world,” said of high-growth companies fraught with peril and tremen- scars that come with starting our proposal to get even more senior art major Jenna Mitchell. with the goal of fostering job dous opportunity,” Bradshaw your own business, and Brad- plots going next semester.” “He is hard, but you have to figure creation and economic growth said. “Avoiding the perils, shaw understands these scars Burns worked on organic Continued on page 2News Continued on page 3News Continued on page 2News within the state. mitigating the risks, recog- Arts Opinions Sports

Springtime at the At least you Scots basketball theatre didn’t get this for in Costa Rica Christmas News: 2 The Bagpipe Vol. 59.15

McElrath to resign The emphasis on the intersec- familiar to most people, but it is demanding of McElrath’s time teaches us so strongly and has the Continued from front page tion of design, technology, and a new technology that has caught and is the main cause of his ab- passion and desire to see busi- business has not only been dem- the attention of developers across sences and his adjunct role this se- nesses thrive and grow.” out that he is presenting you with onstrated in McElrath’s classes the country. mester. McElrath is only teaching The art department is congratu- situations you will find in the real but also in his daily life outside of AppExchange introduces Skuid two studio classes this semester. latory towards McElrath’s success world of design and business.” Covenant with the development as an app that is “changing the Half the class periods will consist and will begin to search for a new Another senior art major, MK of his two companies, Skoodat and face of Force.com. Skuid is a UI of instruction by McElrath, while full-time professor. In the mean- Perkins, said, “I have really appre- Skuid. framework that helps you trans- the other half will consist of studio time, the department is “com- ciated working under a professor McElrath’s newest company, form any layout into a wicked-fast, hours without his presence. mitted to maintaining the course who is an expert in his field. He is Skuid, was launched on Sept. 14, squeaky clean user interface with Rachael Luther, a sophomore offerings that we have already teaching us what he has practi- 2012. Skuid stands for “Scalable grids, calendars, wizards, pictures art major, said, “It’s encouraging offered, including digital arts in cally used in his everyday life as a Kit for User Interface Develop- and more.” to have the example of a profes- design and photography, and art businessman and an artist.” ment.” This concept may not be The launch of Skuid has been sor going after the things that he history,” as stated by Morton.

Growers’ Club asparagus,” said Burns. Continued from front page The CSC hopes to help negotiate the relationship farms for the past few years, between the Growers’ Club and her experience should prove and Chartwells. valuable for the club’s expan- After nearly being dis- sion this spring. She joined the banded last semester, the Growers’ Club last semester and CSC was reorganized and participated actively in the club’s revived. Co-chairs Marcos gardening work. After former Campbell and April Kent president Rebekah Taft left to turned the floundering study abroad this semester, Burns committee into an active inherited the position. With the advocate for conservation help of Vice President Susanna all across campus. Before Taft, Burns organizes events, its remodeling, the CSC’s manages the club’s budget, plans primary concern was the garden and tends the plants. maintaining the campus- Last fall, the Growers’ Club wide recycling program. planted cauliflower, tomatoes, Since the changes, more marigolds, basil, mint, kale, stewardship programs have mustard, and collard greens. This been introduced. One of spring, the club will plant kale, these new programs is food basil, onions, tomatoes, parsley, conservation on campus. mint, cilantro, rosemary, cucum- Leader of the food con- bers, asparagus, peppers, rhubarb, servation program Sarah and lettuce. All their produce is Boone joined the CSC last Christina Schuman raised in the campus greenhouse, semester with hopes to and it may find its way onto help Covenant students become means better using the resources The Growers’ Club and the your plate in the Great Hall this better stewards of food. Recently, that we already have, such as a CSC’s long term goals are to ac- semester. the CSC and the Growers’ Club plot of land and a greenhouse.” quire plots of land to cultivate on Correction “We want to save Chartwells’ have been considering ways to This semester, the CSC leads and off campus and to continue vegetable scraps and use them in partner with the college to be and interns are planning to vol- to promote food conservation Tolkien vs. Hollywood, our compost while selling them less wasteful. unteer with the Growers’ Club across campus. published in last weeks most of our produce such as “The CSC’s vision is to help on their work days. Boone also Bagpipe, was written by cucumbers, peppers, herbs, let- the Growers’ Club reach their hopes to lead a campus-wide John M. Hollback, not tuce, kale, onions, tomatoes, and goals.” said Boone. “I believe that Conservation Week. John Holland. Faculty Quote of the Week “Those aren’t cows, those are horsies! Hahahahaha!” -Dr. Dennison in Chow II Vol. 59.15 The Bagpipe News: 3 CO. LAB transition The Verdict unique city for entrepreneurs,” more healthy economy in Chat- He would love to see more Continued from front page Bradshaw said. He is excited tanooga.” Covenant students use their Yes...to Lance about the “efforts that extraor- Grizzle said that he struggled liberal arts education and Armstrong dinarily capable and dedicated to start his own business in personal passions to build a and knows where these new people are making to create a Chattanooga and CO.LAB was business. business founders are coming real and powerful culture that formalized “as a natural pro- “CO.LAB provides a huge No... to Lance from.” startups can join and thrive gression of me meeting people opportunity to Covenant stu- Fakestrong Bradshaw joins CO.LAB within.” who wanted to support natural dents who are looking for ways with 15 years of experience in Grizzle sees the of entrepreneurs that are locally to get engaged with exciting directing software development CO.LAB expanding nation- grown and call Chattanooga projects that are making an im- projects, and was a founding ally as “people across the US .” pact in the greater community,” member of Compact Publish- see Chattanooga as a healthy One of the things Grizzle according to Elwell. BAGP THE IPE ing. He was first introduced startup ecosystem.” struggled with upon graduating “Covenant College helped me to CO.LAB by a student he “Locally we have done a good from Covenant was that he was to cement the understanding had in the Entrepreneurship job of getting entrepreneurship a generalist. He was interested that the gospel is communi- Program at UTC. on people’s radars,” Grizzle in being a neurosurgeon, youth cated through all areas of life,” Bradshaw was asked to be a said, “and now the challenge is pastor, or psychologist, and did Elwell said, “And the work of 1955 2012 Mentor Captain for Gig Tank, that Chattanooga is not a big not know how to answer the CO.LAB is so much about liv- a program through CO.LAB. enough community to support question “What do you want ing in hope, seeking truth, and He said, “It was a peak experi- all this activity by itself and it’s to do?” learning to not rely on yourself.

C ence, perhaps one of the most time to network. There are a “I have realized that people It is exciting to see how God is O E V E E G N A N T C O L L fun and rewarding experiences lot of different ways to engage who are generalists make working redemptive themes in I’ve had in a career full of fun people from outside the com- fantastic candidates to be their the startup world as we seek to and rewarding experiences.” munity and import capital and own business owners,” Grizzle transform culture in this way.” THE BAGPIPE “Chattanooga is indeed a talent to continue to grow a said. Grace Humbles Editor in Chief Covenant ranked 8th most Ellen Davis Managing Editor conservative college in US

Grant Thomas by Grace Humbles with College Prowler—a college swers, the Bagpipe anonymously reveals no statistics of how many Layout Editor review site created “for students, surveyed 100 Covenant students. Covenant students were involved U.S. News and World Report by students.” Using data col- According to the results of the in their poll. Representatives Annie Huntington Copy consistently ranks Covenant lected from College Prowler, Bagpipe survey, five percent of from College Prowler could not College high among other col- the two publications analyzed students self-identified as “very be reached for details on poll Bethany Daniels News leges in the South. Less well “the percentage of students who conservative” and 14 percent of participant numbers. known is Covenant’s ranking deemed their campus ‘conserva- students described the political Thirteen slots below Covenant, Cummings & Hollback Arts among the most politically con- tive’ or ‘very conservative,’” along beliefs of Covenant’s campus Liberty University ranked 21st servative colleges in the United with a rating of campus political as “very conservative”—both on the list of most conservative Greg Steele Opinions States by Newsweek and the diversity. numbers significantly lower than schools in the country. Liberty Daily Beast. Covenant’s eighth place posi- the reported 25 percent by Col- University was founded by the Peter Wilkerson Sports Newsweek and the Daily Beast’s tion is a result of an online poll lege Prowler. Forty percent of late Jerry Falwell who famously 2012 college rankings evaluate conducted by College Prowler. students self-identified as “con- claimed that AIDS was God’s Christina Schuman Photo colleges in over ten categories. The results of the poll reported servative,” but 55 percent believe punishment to homosexual There are categories for best 25 percent of the population Covenant’s campus as a whole is behavior, that feminists, “gays,” Greg Steele Distribution place to party, most beautiful ranking as “very conservative,” 75 “conservative.” Forty-one percent and abortionists “helped” Sept. campus, most rigorous, least percent as “conservative” and a of students self-identified as 11 happen. Neighboring college, Dale & Anderson Staff Writers rigorous, most liberal, and most rank of 2.3 out of 10 for political “moderate,” but only 28 percent Lee University, ranked 17th. conservative, among others. diversity. of students believe the campus The ranking of most conserva- Isaiah Day Web Covenant’s name popped up College Prowler’s student poll as a whole is “moderate” in its tive school went to Ave Maria in the college ranking for most on political diversity included political beliefs. Six percent of University, a Catholic university Faculty Advisor conservative schools and clocks the questions: How would you Covenant students self-identified in Florida. Ave Maria’s student Cliff Foreman in at the eighth most conserva- best describe your personal polit- as libertarian; the College Prowl- population clocked in at 70 For inquiries or comments, contact Grace Humbles at [email protected]. tive college in the nation. ical beliefs? And how would you er poll reported zero percent of percent “very conservative,” 30 This is a Covenant College student publication The self-described methodol- best describe the political beliefs Covenant students identifying as percent “conservative,” and had The views expressed herein do not necessarily ogy of Newsweek and the Daily of campus as a whole? Using the libertarian. a ranking of 2.4 out of 10 for reflect those of the College or the student body. Beast included a partnership same questions and possible an- College Prowler’s website political diversity.

If you have something you wish to read about or would like to write an article for News, please contact News editor Bethany Daniels at [email protected]. Arts: 4 The Bagpipe Vol. 59.15

Album art ? Obviously

by Rashad Gober “I have much to apologize for, Those two songs are just heck is Mikky Ekko? I’m sorry, sings about how the public only but… screw you.” If that’s what enough to draw you in before but your Bruno Mars wannabe sees half of who she is because First of all, before we get into is going for in her the album gets into the filler vocals do nothing for me. the television can only provide a the actual musical and lyrical seventh studio album, I think she crap. “Numb,” featuring Emi- “Nobody’s Business,” the track limited perspective on a person. content of this album, let’s all accomplished her goal. Mostly. nem, is all about being high featuring , was what True. But I feel that, tacked at just have a moment of silence for However, the complement of and is not worth talking about. everyone was talking about when the end of an emotionally driven, Robyn Fenty’s dignity. Don’t take that is a public display of a sad, “” is equally pathetic, the album dropped. You’d think publicity seeking, 15-track too long, now. lost girl who has been inter- but more so due to Rihanna’s that this publicity stunt of a song album, it’s just a sticky note Secondly, I just want to say nally destroyed by fame. What lifeless vocals proclaiming how would be, like… decent. Lower saying, “Don’t judge me! I’m a that Rihanna’s dive into becom- happened to Britney publically great it is to have money to burn your standards a bit. It seems good person! Please like me!” See ing the anti-role model of all in 2007 is what is happening and drink expensive cham- that talking (literally) about album art above. American youth is not com- to Rihanna internally right pagne. “Loveeeeeee Song” is hooking up with your abuser in Given the baggage of personal pletely her fault. Homegirl does now (in my humble opinion). suuuuuuuch a filler track. Skip it. a Lexus while a beat reminiscent life that Rihanna will forever not write her own songs, and as Alright, moving away from the “Jump” samples “Pony” by Ginu- of every 90’s R&B joint blasts in carry as a pop artist, Unapolo- in the case of most weak-minded social commentary and on to the wine (shout out to his cousin, the background is pretty bor- getic sends incredibly mixed celebrities, her label, managers, music. Donna Meagle), and Rihanna ing. And one more thing — I’m messages to the listener. As I agents, etc. really control most The album starts with the somehow makes the song more sorry, Ri Ri, but when you go on mentioned before, she’s saying, of Rihanna’s image. That said, it “Phresh Off the Runway,” one sexually provocative than the 20/20 and do an interview about “Screw you, I don’t care what you is your personal decision to get of two tracks produced by David original. How DOES she do it? this stuff with Diane Sawyer, it’s think,” while also proclaiming back together with the pathetic Guetta. (Side note: Um, did “What Now” and “Stay” are no longer “Nobody’s Business.” her codependent relationship excuse of a man who beat you Russell Simmons title this track? the two best tracks on the album. Tracks 11 and 12 are almost with the public eye. Where Loud and now has a tattoo of a woman Since when has it been socially Both deal with complex emo- as irrelevant as Jennifer Lopez. and relied heav- who bears a disturbing resem- acceptable/cool to use ‘ph’ instead tions in unhealthy relationships, But then comes the island beat ily upon crass sexuality in songs blance to the TMZ-published of ‘f ’? I’ll give you a hint: 2002.) the dark draw of a lover, and of “No Love Allowed,” which like “S&M,” “Red Lipstick,” and photograph of your bruised and Though both songs kind of suck, indecision. The songs incorporate surprised me and threw me into “Birthday Cake,” Unapologetic battered face. Guetta’s creative, club-pounding simple, catchy piano melodies immediate nostalgia of “Mu- draws the listener into a disturb- Alright, I’ll get off my soapbox beats provide a nice musical and draw attention to Rihanna’s sic of the Sun.” That was until ing, convoluted battleground of now. escape from some of the lesser powerful, ballad-ready vocals, she sings, “I was flyin’ til’ you materialism, conflicting emo- I was super excited for this tracks like, well, the latter half of which are pretty absent else- knocked me to the floor.” tions, and inner irresolution. album to come out (#obvi). the album. where on the album. Though the … really? Rihanna has always been an Okay, okay, I know I’ve been album version features Mikky The album closes with “Half Grade: C-/D+ intriguing character to me. No harsh on Rihanna so far, but the Ekko, Rihanna performed an ex- of Me,” written by Adele. Even Highs: “What Now,” “Stay” matter how much I dislike her next track is “Diamonds,” and cellent solo version of “Stay” on though it’s not Adele’s personal Lows: “Numb (feat. Eminem),” as a person, her music is just so despite the fact that the lyrics Saturday Night Live right before best, it is the most lyrically sub- “Loveeeeeee Song (feat. Future), dang catchy. are not cohesive at all, it’s super the album dropped. She should stantive track on the album. But “Nobody’s Business” (feat. Chris Titling your album Unapolo- catchy and I like it. Whatever. I have put that version on the in light of the other songs, it’s Brown) getic is another way of saying, love myself and I hate myself. album because seriously, who the incredibly confusing. Rihanna Vol. 59.15 The Bagpipe Arts: 5

Springtime at the theatreClayton Powers

by Taylor Kelly there are no easy good guys or characters show up in the course 10 members which will, for the with the city of Chattanooga and bad guys in this story...this play of the musical, including Cin- time being, be the maximum num- is hopeful that over time “Laugh The first production to look for- feels very topical in our post 9/11 derella, Little Red Riding Hood, ber of performers in the group at Track” will gain a steady follow- ward to from the theatre depart- world, even though it was written Jack (you know, the kid with the any given time. ing even outside of the Covenant ment this semester is Two Rooms. in 1988.” beanstalk), and Rapunzel, to name “Since I arrived on campus over a community. The second show Written by Lee Blessing, Two Hallstrom also plans to hold a a few. year ago I have met such hilarious planned for this semester is on Rooms is the story of an American faculty panel discussion after one “Each of these characters goes students that I wanted to create Wednesday, March 20, and will university professor who is kid- of the performances to facilitate through a crisis when their reali- a way for them to channel their be held on campus in Sanderson napped and held hostage in Beirut further conversation on Middle ties don’t match up to the expec- hilarity for everyone to enjoy,” said 215. The final performance of the during the Lebanese Civil War Eastern history, political games- tations they have for their lives,” Kirby when asked about her vision semester does not have an official of the 1980s. Camille Hallstrom, manship, Islamic studies, and/or said Professor Kirby. “The musical behind introducing an Improv date as of now, so stay tuned. Professor of Theatre and Film psychological stresses for hostages explores how they handle their Team at Covenant. “I also thought The Covenant Improv Team Studies, will direct the production. and their families. Thus far Profes- disappointments.” that an improv group would be a would also like to announce that Professor Hallstrom is beyond ex- sor Hallstrom has not found any Into the Woods marks the first time great way to get students intro- on Saturday, January 26, they will cited to be putting on one of Lee professors willing or able to join that Covenant’s theatre and music duced down the mountain which be holding an improv workshop Blessing’s plays this semester. in the discussion. Two Rooms runs departments have put on a com- would hopefully bring more folks that is open to any Covenant “Lee Blessing is a remarkable February 14-23. plete Stephen Sondheim show. up the mountain to see shows.” students who want to learn more playwright and his quality of in- In April students can anticipate Kirby and company are ready for At the end of last semester, the about the art of improv or who sight into human relationships as Covenant’s production of Into the challenge. Improv Team put on their first just want to get a good laugh by well as depth of characterization the Woods, a musical written by “Our production will be filled with show, “Laugh Track,” which was playing various improv games with will give the audience a mov- Stephen Sondheim. Associate people who are passionate about received with much excitement some of the Laugh Track team ing and insightful meditation on Professor of Theatre Deborah bringing this show to life,” said by a completely full house of members as well as other students. life, love, war, and politics,” says Kirby will be directing this show Kirby. “This includes everyone Covenant students in Sanderson Even if you aren’t interested in Hallstrom. “The title of the play with the assistance of visiting from the cast to the crew to the 215. The Improv Team hopes participating, students are more refers to hostage Michael’s holding Professors of Music David Tahere designers to the staff!” to build off of this encouraging than welcome to come sit in on cell and the room his wife Lainie and Lok Kim. The show runs April 5-6 and April initial response and has already the workshop to watch the games in America has emptied out in an Into the Woods is a spin-off of 11-13. planned three shows in the com- and enjoy a Saturday morning of attempt to replicate and share in several classic fairy tales that Covenant’s theatre department ing months. The first of these hilarity. The Laugh Track Improv what she imagines his imprisoned ultimately reflects both satirically is also excited about another shows is on Monday, February 18, Workshop will be held in the existence must be. Written with and seriously on what happens semester with the Improv Team. at the Camp House in downtown Chapel from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Blessing’s usual depth of insight when we actually get everything Under the leadership of Professor Chattanooga. The team is excited January 26. into the complexities of character, we think we want. Many familiar Deborah Kirby, the team now has to share some of their humor

If you have something you wish to read about or would like to write an article for Arts, please contact Arts editors Calvin Cummings and Alia Hollback at calvin. [email protected] Opinions: 6 The Bagpipe Vol. 59.15

Nymag.com At least you didn’t get this for Christmas

by Anna Dove I have NOT made up. They are safe.” Boy, I have yet to set my close to your heart and sigh in of Liberty. My brother was real. wild eyes on a coffee mug mist- relief. supposed to plant some seeds Don’t deny it, you have that For just $10.99 you could have ing with enchantment. Glad it’s Hanes’ tighty whities. I don’t in a hole at the top of the head, aunt who gives you a hand-knit received the Lunch Lady Action dishwasher safe; wouldn’t want know how much those cost. water it, and then grass would Christmas sweater that makes Figure. Yes, you read that right. that to break. For $19.95, you could have grow. Probably two Mississip- you want to tear your hair out The product advertisement reads, For $30.00, you could have been given the Joy License Plate. pians were having a tobacco in fistfuls. Are those prancing “This Lunch Lady Action Figure gotten the Latex Horse Head It’s a plain white license plate spitting contest, which is when Christmas reindeer, or mating will take you back to those glori- Mask. This could be really useful. with three big green letters, the most profound discoveries camels? You smile, brimming ous ‘hot lunch’ days of sloppy If you got into a fight with your J-O-Y, and a red lipstick kiss are always made, and one said, with Christmas joy, and say joes, fish sticks and mini milk Aunt Helga, maybe because she thrown on for good measure. “Hey, you know what would sell “Thanks, Aunt Helga!” —and cartons. Each 5-1/4” tall, hard got you the Latex Horse Head This product was described as like hotcakes? Lady Liberty with to yourself, “I’ve always wanted vinyl figure comes with a scoop, a Mask for Christmas, you could follows: “This front license plate grass growing out of her head.” a sweater with mating camels. food tray, a serving station and a just put on the mask and in- lets you express your driv- And then they patented it and Hopefully she doesn’t hear that sticker sheet featuring images of stantly hide all of your emotion. ing attitude or cause. Made of sued anyone who tried to come part. Then, after Aunt Helga has delicious hot entrées.” Why play She would think that you had sturdy & durable aluminum, it up with a similar idea. The total left, you drop the sweater in a with Superman or Batman or experienced a sudden change is water-resistant. This custom of which were about two, because bag destined for Goodwill. As something unoriginal when you of heart. Or, if you went to a plate is the perfect complement it takes a great deal of talent to if anyone, including Goodwill can spend hours ladling sticker party and it got really boring, for drivers with novelty plates think of something as spectacu- shoppers, would ever buy some- food with Lunch Lady? Also you could just slide the mask on the back. Measures 12” x 6”.” lar as Lady Liberty with grass thing so ugly that it deserves popular with the hipsters. on, and go to sleep, and no one Perhaps this would be useful sprouting from her brain. nothing but to spontaneously At least Aunt Helga didn’t get would ever know. Also, great ice in calming the nerves of other Perhaps you should buy for combust. you the Disappearing Cheshire breaker. “Hey, check this out. drivers as you speed by them, cut Aunt Helga Gift Giving: A But even if you got the mating Cat Mug. For only $11.99, it It’s a Latex Horse Head Mask. too close, or brake suddenly in Guide to the Art of Providing camel sweater, which if you keep might have been her next option My Aunt Helga got it for me for front of them. “WHOA! WHO People with Things They Actu- you can probably wear to become if the sweater turned out to look Christmas.” THE [EXPLETIVE] DO YOU ally Like. But then again, maybe an icon amongst the hipsters, like a normal sweater. Product Books in general are good, THINK YOU [EXPLETIVE] not. Actually, I hope that you are you have reason to be immensely description: “Wonderland is just especially if it’s one you really [EXPLETIVE] ARE???? Oh… now relieved, having read this, grateful. Because there is worse. a sip away with this collectible wanted. But you can be thank- wait…he must have joy. Says and a lot more thankful for your I have searched far and wide and Mug. As you pour a warm drink, ful that you didn’t get Flirting so right there. Guess I’ll refrain Aunt Helga’s knitting ability. No have discovered that while Aunt the mug begins to mist with 101: How to Charm Your Way from flipping him off.” A match- matter how horrendously ugly Helga may have the gift giving enchantment and the Cheshire to Love, Friendship and Suc- ing car magnet is also offered for the mating camel sweater is, it IQ of a potato, still others have Cat disappears leaving behind cess wrapped up with a bow. It’s double the joy. pales in comparison when con- the gift giving IQ of a well- a toothy grin. Decorated with pretty much like saying, “You are A few years ago, my little trasted to the gifts listed above. meaning spore. Read on and find classic Alice in Wonderland il- socially inept. Let me make that brother received for Christmas Gift giving is really quite tricky. out why you should be thankful lustration, you will be Grinning very obvious to everyone who (from an aunt) a Chia figurine. But hey, at least you didn’t get for your mating camel sweater. from the moment you set your sees you unwrap this gift.” That’s It was the Statue of Liberty, or, these gifts for Christmas. Note: all of the gifts listed below wild eyes upon it. - Dishwasher right, hold mating camel sweater actually, the head of the Statue Vol. 59.15 The Bagpipe Opinions: 7 Feliz Navidad

by Marcos Campbell istic in light of the suffering of this world. There’s definitely a This past Christmas I had a truth to that, and there’s a defi- mix of Mexican traditions along nite need for austerity and liv- with a usual American storyline. ing with only what we need, but To put this into context, my I’d like to point out two ideas in parents are both deeply involved particular that a Latin American in the Hispanic community Christmas highlights. in as educators and First, there’s nothing wrong mentors. Their communal roles with nice things. In fact, isn’t become particularly pertinent the goal of so much of what we during the Christmas season, do to give everyone an oppor- an incredibly popular holiday tunity to have nicer things than in Latin American communi- they already have (I emphasize ties. However, Latin American opportunity)? I’ll give you an Christmases don’t mean buy- example: My dear mother grew ing extravaganzas and ever- up with what most of us would Inside-mexico.com more-spectacular light displays. consider about little more than Instead, Mexican traditions enough for chickens to live off. know. What I’ve figured out materialism is missing the point. sad foreign-looking kids. This include drawn out gift giving Ok, a bit of an exaggeration, but from this trait is how she sees Things do not fix problems. is the reason that I, despite my (over many days), receiving said not much. That meant a house Christmas: a chance to really People help fix broken people. desire to stay in on the holidays, gifts in a particular order (ac- with a dirt floor and wood fire care. Nice stuff can be How we spend our time—like made my poor attempt at trying cording to value and culminat- stove and sharing a single bed a way of exactly that, an em- my mother’s dedication to the to help out with celebrating a ing sometime in January), eating between 12 siblings. It meant a blematic representation of the well-being of the children in the very Mexican Christmas with lots of food, and visiting every hard work for a father who was caring of the giver. community she works in—is not people that I don’t know, but person possible within driving never there and an overwhelmed Although the gifts we receive a matter of material dedication. could really use a hand. So get on distance—even the weird ones. mother. It meant not enough can express the care of the giver, Rather, it is a dedication of one’s that SmartiPadphonekindle, find In contrast, some American tra- money for school. You get the it can still seem excessive to re- time and energy; something yourself a way to help—maybe in ditions like Black Friday or eat- picture. This made my mother ceive the new SmartiPadphone- harder than guilt-tripping over something that will burn those ing five gazillion calories in one austere, yet she gives more gifts kindle that cost half our tuition. your new kicks and throwing calories from your holiday meals. meal seem exceedingly material- at Christmas than anyone I However, being concerned with cash at a guy holding a sign of Taxes and fiscal brinkmanship: Part I

by Matt Bristley to spend it how we wanted. three amount to 6.4 percent, I have reason to believe that with our hard-earned wages. We swear that we could put a which is 4.3 percent more than the entertainment industry, the I argue that if we are angry Facing a probable tax increase, child through college on our what the average American cosmetic industry, the clothing at the amount taken in taxes, Americans are complain- savings if we had that money spends on education, another industry, and the food industry let us look at where in reality ing. We are accustomed to back, or set up a rainy day hotly debated subject. It seems would instantly become mega- our expenditures are. We who thinking that the American fund for emergencies. But is to me that perhaps the issue industries. Because of our own spend so much on extraneous government’s expenditures this really the case? lies not with the government, spending habits, the economy comforts have no reason to draw a huge percent of our Americans on average spend but with us. If we received each would crumble under the complain about the provisions incomes into a seeming black 5.9 percent of their annual penny from our paychecks, wrecking ball of American self- of education, healthcare, mili- hole. Complaining about the income on healthcare, and where in reality would that ishness and need for comfort. tary protection, and working national debt is as common- gripe constantly about how money go? Putting aside the So perhaps taxes are a good transportation given by the place as complaining about expensive it is. Strangely, we fact that the government would thing. The government, of government. Even though we the weather. We look at the also spend 5.6 percent of our crumble, and with it health- course, is far from perfect in may not agree with particular percentage the government annual income, which is almost care, education, transportation, their decisions, but it is an decisions or parties within the withholds from our paycheck as much, on entertainment. On military strength, and a third institution that is absolutely government, it is wrong to be and wish that we could have alcoholic beverages we spend .9 of American jobs, I seriously necessary. Without support ungrateful for the bounty we that money safe in our own percent, on smoking .7 per- doubt that we would put that from us it is nonexistent. The have in America and to ignore hands. cent, and on apparel, personal money to good use. Based on money we give up to our lead- our own spending defects Hypothetically, if we had care products and services 4.8 the statistics of how average ers is in fact benefitting us, while highlighting those of that money, we would be able percent. Added together, those Americans spend their income, however loathe we are to part our leaders.

If you have something you wish to read about or would like to write an article for Opinios, please contact Opinions editors Greg Steele at [email protected] Sports: 8 The Bagpipe Vol. 59.15

Kiara Cooper Scots basketball in Costa Rica

by Haley Soles the midst of having nothing,” love of the game, and that was The Lady Scots finished 1-2 son with a fractured nose and said freshman forward Alexis so refreshing.” against these teams. Before the cheekbone. While accepting While most Covenant students Storteboom. “It really put my Although there were many trip, the team aspired not to that as a setback, and making were packing their bags to head life in perspective of how I barriers between the two teams, aim for the goal of finishing minor switches to the previ- home for Christmas break, the should be content and joyful in it was inspiring to see how 3-0, but rather to show these ous game plan, the Lady Scots women’s basketball team, along all circumstances.” the passion and drive to play women Jesus through the game are more confident than ever with the men’s, boarded a plane Along with helping these basketball was the only com- of basketball. Overall, the that these numbers are soon to bound for the beautiful country ministries, the two basketball mon denominator we had with trip was a wonderful time of reverse. of Costa Rica. It is not every- teams were given the op- these women. This passion for creating a closer bond amidst Junior Jessie Blankenship day that the Lady Scots get to portunity to use the game of the game became the common the team, planting seeds of states, “This year we have hit a use the game of basketball as a basketball as a tool to witness. ground that the Lady Scots the Gospel in the Costa Rican lot of adversity but each time tool for evangelism. The Lady Scots played against could use to relate with these people, and undeniably carry- we have responded by pulling Our team was given many the women’s national team of women. After the games, Jess ing over a drive for the game together as a team and refus- opportunities to minister to Costa Rica, as well as teams Fikkert, Ruth Gibson, and of basketball into the second ing to give up. One of the best the people of Costa Rica. We from different parts of the Lindsey Geving all willingly semester. attributes of our team is that visited an orphanage and a country. The style of play was shared their testimonies with The Lady Scots returned to we are not solely dependent on women’s ministry that was much different. these women’s basketball teams. the mountain on Jan. 2, ready any one person; our talent and flourishing in the slums of “Playing basketball in Costa With a translator bridging our to hit the second half of the scoring ability is very spread the country. As is common on Rica was a new experience,” language barrier, it was a joy season in full force. The Lady out amongst our team. We still short-term missions trips, our said senior guard Ruth Gib- to see the women so intently Scots have encountered a few have almost half of our games team may have been the most son. “They play with a reck- listening to these Americans detours this second semester, left to play, and there is no blessed by these ministries. less abandon. They do not get sharing how God has used the which have resulted in a slow doubt in any of our minds that “It was an eye-opening ex- bogged down by their mistakes gift of basketball to play a very start of 1-3. we will be back on a winning perience to see how the kids at and they don’t let the pressure important role in their lives and Junior Kiaira Cooper could streak soon.” the orphanage were so joyful in get to them. They play for the coming to Christ. potentially be out for the sea-

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