Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 3-19-2004

Volume 39 - Issue 19 - Friday, March 19, 2004

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 39 - Issue 19 - Friday, March 19, 2004" (2004). The Rose Thorn Archive. 269. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/269

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA Friday, March 19, 2004 Volume 39, Issue 19

News Briefs Tuition costs... plus diapers?

Nicole Hartkemeyer LeSashea Feagin and Reproductive biology News Editor Emeritus Emily Armazie Feagin

revolutionalized ost people see I am a freshman chemi- college students cal engineering major from A recent study overturns the basic as wild and ram- reproductive biology assumption that Gary, IN. My mother and fa- bunctious young ther got divorced when I was the production of ova in mammaliam M adults with little to no re- around 10 and my father got females stops around the time of sponsibilities or worries. It is custody of my brother and birth. In juvenile and adult mice, a little known fact that some me. I got pregnant when I reproduction-related stem cells are students at Rose, both male was 16 and I had Emily when still present, which are recruited to and female, are married, I was 17. No, her father and form new eggs. have families, or are single I are not together anymore. parents. I graduated high school on Here, in their own words, time. are the stories of two Rose- After I graduate from Rose, New planetoid Hulman students who are I hope to get a job with a single parents. pharmaceutical company. in solar system I really want to go into re- search and development. Researchers have discovered a Emily Armazie Feagin was planetoid three times further from born September 12, 2002, the Earth than Pluto, which makes it so that makes her a little bit Contributed by Tabatha Doughty over one and a half. I named Tabatha Doughty and a six-month old Lyndon Doughty. the furthest known body in the solar her after both of my grand- system. The planet-like object, called mothers. She likes beans in Tabatha Doughty and periods so it was a great experi- Sedna, has a 10, 500-year solar orbit, spite of all my efforts to make Lyndon Doughty ence for him and I. My sorority and it thought to be the fi rst glimpse of her despise them as much as sisters and friends babysat him the long-hypothesized “Oort cloud”, a I do. She is staying with my Tabatha is from Cloverdale, last year in the civil offi ce. There source of comets in our solar system. grandmother because “we,” IN. She is a senior civil engineer are many stories about his ex- and by we I mean my grand- graduating on time with no periences at Rose already. Don’t mother, decided it would be overloads. She will be working let big burrly football players better for me to live on cam- as an Assistant City Engineer like Jake Veick toss your child Nobel Laureate pus for the fi rst year here. Ev- for Greencastle, IN after gradu- after lunch. Not only did Vieck ery time I do go home, Emily ation. hit Lyndon’s head on the above John Pople dies Contributed by LeSashea Feagin will drop whatever she is do- light, Lyndon took revenge by LeSashea Feagin, almost Lyndon is 11 months old. He John Pople, who won the Nobel ing and run up to me and not was born caesarian over Spring sharing his digested lunch with exclusively known as Prize with Walter Kohn for his work on let me put her down. Break, causing me to miss three Jake’s pants. Sausage, with her young computational methods in quantum days of school. I breast fed him daughter Emily. Continued on Page 3... Continued on Page 3... chemistry, died of liver cancer March for 6 weeks during passing 15 at the age of 78. He developed computer techniques used to test the chemical structure, to model complex Joseph and Reba Awards chemical reactions, and to simulate the John Kropf The proposals are evalu- effects of proposed HIV-fi ghting drugs. Staff Writer ated on scientifi c merit. The committee likes to see prior Around this time each year, work outside the classroom, the Rose-Hulman faculty as well as other people willing Rifl e Championship begins to accept proposals to match the donation. for the Joseph B. and Reba A. The projects last a year. Finalist Weaver Undergraduate Re- After the research is over, stu- Senior Jason LaBella placed 12th search Awards. These Awards dents will fi le a report on what out of 24 of the top collegiate air rifl e are given to freshman, sopho- they’ve accomplished. shooters at the 25th NCAA National more, or junior students to The grants give under- Collegiate Men’s and Women’s Rifl e conduct research into a fi eld graduate students a chance of their choice. to do research they would not Championship on March 12. He was The awards are given annu- otherwise be able to do. The also honored by the National Rifl e As- ally. They will be made for up grant gives students experi- Laura Krause / Rose Thorn sociation with an All-American award, to a total of $2000, and may ence with the grant process, as the fi rst in school history, for his be used for supplies, student well as giving students experi- A dress rehersal of the “Brigadoon” cast. solid performance in smallbore rifl e wages, and student room and ence applying their knowledge throughout the season. board. Research proposals to real world situations. are due on March 24, 2004. Joe Weaver was a 1935 Brigadoon, coming soon to By Lissa Avery Award notifi cation will be chemical engineering gradu- made by April 2. ate of Rose-Hulman and re- a Hatfi eld Hall near you To receive an award, stu- ceived an honorary doctorate Laura Krause to cast members Aaron Wil- Friday dents must submit a written in engineering from Rose in Assistant News Editor liamson and Matt Johnson, Sunny 56 Hi / 41 Lo proposal of the research they 1985. He was a native of Mar- “Brigadoon is funnier than Saturday plan to do, and give an oral shall, Illinois, and co-founded In bright plaids and Scot- the other shows that have Showers 58 Hi / 31 Lo presentation to members of Regency Electronics. He also tish accents, the Rose-Hul- been done. Younger people the Rose-Hulman commu- founded the board of Printed man Drama Club’s produc- will enjoy it, there’s a lot of Provided by www.weather.com nity. Students need to have a Wiring in Indianapolis. He tion of “Brigadoon” opens humor.” faculty mentor as well. died in 1988. this weekend. According Continued on Page 3...

News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

Mom’s Day schedule. Who’s feelin’ Last stop for Unity? Get the latest run- Damnèd heathens. The Passion? down on Rose sports.

Page 3 Pages 4 & 5 Pages 6 Page 7 Page 8 The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery 2 EVVENTSENTS Friday, March 19, 2004 Classifi eds OPEN FRI, Sharp Flats on Sixth Street For MAY, SUMMER, and SAT & SUN Now renting for 2004-2005 FALL Studios and 1-5 Bedroom School year. Located on or near AT 11AM Apartment and Houses. Our South Sixth Street. Studios and apartments are clean and well- 1-9 bedroom units. Call Sharp maintained. We specialize in Flats, LLC 877-1146 affordable housing for respon- Tutor: Reading, Math sible students. Call Frazer Properties 232-4486. Out ten- Tutor needed for 3rd grade ants are our best reference. student. Help needed in a variety of subject, particularly Tutors - T. H. South writing, reading, math. Loca- Tutors needed at Terre Haute tion and pay negotiable. Call South next Fall for Algebra 765-832-8284. 1, Algebra 2, and sixth grade Custom Embroidery math. Rates Negotiable. Call 244-5202. FRATERNITITES, SORORI- TIES, CLUBS, ORGANIZA- Easy Fundraising Tired of Pizza? TIONS! Consider embroi- Fraternities – Sororities – dered shirts, bags, jackets, or Clubs – Student Groups: Earn shorts to mark this year’s big $1,000 - $2,000 this semester Buy one whole sub events. Custom digitizing, with a proven CampusFund- affordable prices. Small and raiser 3-hour fundraising at regular price, Try our new salads! single orders welcome. Call event. Our free programs 478-1334 for information. make fundraising easy with Grilled Chicken Now Renting no risks. Fundraising dates get a 2nd sub Chef are filling quickly, so get with Now renting student rental the program! It works. Con- houses for the 04/05 school tact CampusFundraiser at FREE year. 3-6 bedrooms, central (888) 923-3238, or visit www. air, fridge, range, dishwasher, campusfundraiser.com. washer and dryer. Clean and Call today and $6.99 Spaghetti Special well maintained. 9-12 month Tutor: Algebra, Spanish, get four FREE leases. Convenient to campus. Physics Bucket of Spaghetti, In good areas. 478-9286. meatballs with HS Tutor needed for Algebra, any bucket Garlic bread & Salad. Tutor - Math Spanish, and Physics. 2-3 hours per week. Negotiable spaghetti order Feeds 4, or 2 REALLY hungry Rose students Tutor needed for high school fee and scheduling. Call 8-3: student in math. Can come 30 M-F: 462-4391 Weekends: to campus, or go to home. 466-6864. Please call 877-0147 for more $5.99 One Topping Large information. Tutor - Math, Reading Sharp Flats East Tutor needed for 11-year-old son (5th grade). Needs help Two or more, only $4.99 each New owners and renovations. in math, reading, and other. Renting for 2004-2005 school Please call Starla McDaniel at year. Effi ciencies $300 includes 812-466-9615. Offers apply to Rose Campus deliveries only utilities. Studios $350 includes utilities. 1 Bed $400 + electric Race for the Cure! Get your latest only. (These prices apply to All Rose-Hulman women! Classifi ed Ads Information most units) Off-street park- Join the Race for the Cure Rose Thorn ing, Wireless internet, some Women Team, Saturday, furnished, great maintenance, April 24 at 8:00 a.m. for a 5K cravings fullfi lled Pricing Information: Where to submit: close to campus, and more! run or walk to raise money online at $3.00 for fi rst 30 words Mail to: Sharp Flats, LLC 877-1146. for Breast Cancer Research/ +15¢ per additional Rose Thorn Awareness. For more infor- word Oxygen Bar mation, e-mail Chrissy Guidi ATTN: Ad Manager http://www.rose- +15¢ per bold-face word CM 5037 Energize your next party! We’ll at [email protected] bring the euphoria to you! Af- or Stef Vande Lune at hulman.edu/Thorn Submission Deadlines: 5500 Wabash Ave fordable Rates! 765-653-1641. [email protected]. Ads must be submitted Terre Haute, IN 47803 by Tuesday, 5 p.m. of the Sharp Flats Sharp Flats East week they are to run. Fax to: Discounts: 812-877-8166 Located just East of Campus on 6th St. Professors and stu- You‛ll enjoy living in our affordable units dents receive free clas- E-mail to: Now renting for the and walking to campus. sifi eds. thorn@rose- 2004-2005 school year. Effi ciencies $300 including utilities What to submit: hulman.edu Studios and 1-6 bedroom Studios $350 including utilities Insertion Date, Cus- units available 1 bedroom $400 + electricity tomer’s Contact Name, For more informa- tion, call 812-877- for more information Free wireless internet included! Address, Phone, and 8255. call Sharp Flats, LLC Offi ce Hours Wed. 1pm-6pm or by Appointment Fax, as well as the text 877-1146 877-1146 of the ad.

The Rose Thorn Co-Editors-in-Chief: Entertainment Editor: Staff Writers: News Editor Emeritus CM 5037 Luke Stark Jacob P. Silvia Odessa Goedert Nicole Hartkemeyer RHIT Bob Schulein Adrian Throop 5500 Wabash Ave. Sports Editor: Laura Krause Photographer: Terre Haute, IN 47803 Abby Rebhorn Josh Annin Carmen DuVall E-mail: thorn@rose- News Editor: Kevin Spontak hulman.edu Lissa Avery Stuart Nash Flipside: Courtland Caldwell Advisor: Dr. Richard House Phone:(812)877-8255 Assistant News Editor: Gregory Weir Ryan Cavanaugh Fax: (812)877-8166 Laura Krause Steve Hoelle Andrew Twarek The Rose Thorn is printed Eric Smith Web Address: Fridays during the standard Opinions Editor: www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Webmaster: Rose-Hulman quarters. Brandon Hathaway Stephen Pierce The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery Friday, March 19, 2004 NEEWSWS 3 Students with children, from Page 1 Brigadoon, from Page 1 Feagin Doughty

She talks on the phone only Lyndon was not harmed and The musical has elements when there is no one on walked away with smiles; of romance, comedy, and the other end and since she Jake did not. even bagpipe music. “Briga- hasn’t mastered real words I traded long wild nights doon” is the story of two American travelers, Tommy yet, her conversations sound out for long nights with Albright and Jeff Douglass, something like, “Hellyyyooo! a wild child. These days in Scotland. On their jour- BJEJFIRHGHEDIERJ.” She is I want to go to bed early ney, they stumble upon the also unnaturally loud. She because I know I will have misty town of “Brigadoon.” is learning to go to the potty so much fun at 3 a.m. with The village has been en- now and she doesn’t have any a little boy who thinks it’s chanted so that it only ap- unhealthy dependencies on a playtime. All-nighters are pears once every 100 years. blanket or particular toy. She never for late projects, but Tommy falls in love with will mimic almost anything instead for ear aches and local girl Fiona MacClaren, she hears or sees as long as fevers. My drunk friends but because of the enchant- she’s not too sleepy. hugging the porcelain ment, she will disappear the There is not really a differ- do not compare to an Contributed by LeSashea Feagin next day. Adelle Maynard, ence here at Rose between be- Sausage’s daughter Emily, 11 month-old sick from who plays Fiona, says this is ing a parent and a regular stu- looking a bit teary-eyed. bologna and projecting her second time performing dent. I get the same workload, I The only real sacrifi ce I can at least two feet. Doing have the same amount of time Contributed by Tabatha Doughty “Brigadoon,” and she enjoys say that I made is missing homework during the day the new and awesome cast. to do the things I need to do, some of my formative years. is a blessing because I want A six-month old Lyndon, I may get a little more home “Brigadoon” was fi rst per- I know it’s kind of silly, but I the evening free to play and looking like quite the athe- formed in 1947, and a 1954 sick since my child is there. A wonder how she feels with me socialize with Lyndon. lete. few more worries, I imagine, screen version featured Gene coming home only every so It’s different, but I don’t Kelly, Cyd Charisse, and Van but that is all. I know my child often. I wonder if she thinks I have a lot to say because I else that is new is being is safe because she is with my Johnson. “Brigadoon” was am abandoning her and if she enjoy it. I no longer have responsible for someone the fi rst Broadway hit for the grandmother, who raised six hates me. Since every time I the desires I use to. Which else; it’s no longer just me. kids successfully. If Emily were duo Lerner and Loewe, who return to school, I am gone be- means what I do is different I have to make sure he eats, here, my Grammy’s phone bill later wrote “My Fair Lady.” fore she wakes up, so it’s like, than some, but overall bathes, and is generally a would be a lot higher since any Cast member Adam here today gone tomorrow. I it’s the same as everyone happy baby. I also have a lot little thing that I thought was Popplewell, who plays know it’s good for both of us, else. I want to be happy more determination to do out of the ordinary, I would be Tommy Albright, says that but I still wonder. and successful. Something well in school. calling her. “this show is challenging because of the short time we’ve had to put it together. It’s an entertaining show Mom’s Day events full of funny scenes.” The Drama Club’s tech crew has Rose-Hulman Athletic Events Tours of Apartment-Style Residence Hall been working hard to put Rose-Hulman Baseball - Art Nehf Field 2-4 p.m., Main Lobby, Hulman Union together what is described Rose-Hulman vs. Albion College (Mich.), 11 a.m. Wayne Spary, vice president of facilities operations, will lead groups as “an advanced, phenom- Rose-Hulman vs. Marian College (Ind.), 2:30 p.m. through this unique building, currently under construction. He can enal set.” Many cast mem- Rose-Hulman Track & Field - Bill Welch Track also answer questions about other facilities. Tours will leave at 2 bers complimented the Rose-Hulman Early Bird Meet, Noon p.m., 2:30 p.m., 3 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. crew for putting together Rose-Hulman Softball - Softball Stadium a “practically professional Rose-Hulman vs. St. Mary’s College (South Bend), 5 p.m. Keepsake Photographs Rose-Hulman Lacrosse - IM Field 3-5 p.m., Main Lobby, Hulman Union level” set. The musical also Rose-Hulman vs. Western Illinois University, 9 a.m. Mothers will be able to take home a memento of this special day -- a showcases Rose-Hulman’s Rose-Hulman vs. University of Missouri-Rolla, 3 p.m. photograph with your son or daughter. And, better yet, it’s all free! own Pit Orchestra of strings, woodwinds, brass, and Admission to all athletic events is free. “The Price Is Rite” rhythm. 3-4 p.m., Kahn Rooms, Hulman Union The show begins tonight at Parents’ Workshops Come on down! The Student Activities Board members will host 8:00, and will play on March 1-4 p.m., Hulman Union their game show, with selected parents given the chance to win 20, 26, and 27. Tickets are The following sessions will provide valuable information that could fabulous prizes in fun-fi lled games -- just like the real thing! The now available and can be help parents cope with today’s hectic lifestyles: only thing missing will be Bob Barker. reserved by calling 872-6261 Wednesday through Friday Get Ready For Spring Wine Tasting 1-5 p.m. 1-1:45 p.m., Robert Kahn Room 4-5 p.m., Faculty/Staff Dining Room, Union Your image can speak volumes before you say a word -- through Oliver Winery of Bloomington, Ind., will provide an educational your wardrobe, personality and style. Jill McNamara will give a wine tasting session. Attendees must be 21 years old. Seating is lim- presentation on how to coordinate your wardrobe and will dem- ited to the fi rst 50 adults. Advanced reservations are required. Call Write for the onstrate how to create Spring wardrobe solutions that suit your Kim Jones at (812) 877-8472. lifestyle and taste. Rose Thorn! Candlelight Dinner Journal Writing 5 p.m. - Vonderschmitt Dining Room, Union 2-2:45 p.m., Performing Arts Room Families of Rose-Hulman students will be treated to a special din- If you are inter- Rachel Herbig, author of “The Practical Guide to Journal Writing,” ner, sponsored by the Parents’ Association. Students who achieved will provide the latest information on how to keep track of your a 4.0 grade point average following the 2002-03 freshman year will ested in writing thoughts and memories. Seating is limited to the fi rst 40 adults. be recognized, along with presentation of the Parents’ Association’s news articles, Reservations are required. Call Kim Jones at (812) 877-8472. Joy Hulbert Service Award to a female member of the Rose-Hulman campus community. opinion pieces, Chair Massage (By Appointment) 2-4 p.m., Heritage Room Reservations required. or entertainment Relax and enjoy a 10-minute chair massage provided by Marty stories, come to a Sandberg and Company. Registration will be in the lobby of the An Evening Of Musical Theater Hulman Union. 8 p.m., Hatfi eld Hall Auditorium, March 19 & 20 Wednesday after- The enduring musical “Brigadoon” is a good-natured, if fanciful, Parents’ Fund-Raising Activities interpretation of all the nice things that North Americans imagine noon meeting of about Scotland, replete with swinging kilts, bonnie lassies and the Rose Thorn Mom’s Day Raffl e droning bagpipes. Inspired by Germelshausen, a German story Lobby, Hulman Union by Friedrich Gerstacker, the play revolves around two American staff in Items will be on display throughout the day. Tickets will be sold. tourists, Tommy Albright (played by Adam Popplewell) and Jeff The winner will be announced at the Mom’s Day Dinner. Douglas (Nick Slabaugh), who stumble upon a misty little Scottish Olin 157 at 5:15. town. Tommy soon falls in love with a local lass, Fiona MacLaren Gold Canyon Candles (Adelle Maynard), but as the two men quickly discover, this myste- 1-3 p.m., Lobby, Union rious little town only reawakens for one day every 100 years. “Briga- Those interested Gold Canyon Candles has teamed up with the Parents’ Association doon” was the fi rst big hit for the magical team of Alan Jay Lerner to raise funds for the new campus entrance way project. Stop by the and Frederick Loewe and features the song “Almost Like Being In in editing are display and smell the different styles. The association will receive a Love.” more than portion of the profi ts. Prices will be: $18.95, 26 oz. jar; $15.95, 16 oz. jar; and $11.95, 8 oz. jar. Tickets cost $ 8 for all guests. It is free to all Rose-Hulman students. welcome. Reservations required. The Rose Thorn Edited by Bob Schulein 4 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT Friday, March 19, 2004 YYourour ppassionateassionate responses Last week, the Rose Thorn asked the Rose community to sub- mit reactions on Mel Gibson’s new fi lm, “The Passion of the Christ.” Here is the feedback we received. An accurate visualization of the gospels Jan Jerrell picture in my mind now that I’ve seen Guest Writer the fi lm. When I hear, “Take this cup in remembrance of me” I will always remem- “The Passion of The Christ” is a vivid, ber His blood running on the ground. I heart wrenching testimony of Christ be- didn’t think of the mental anguish He suf- ing crucifi ed by the sins of the world. I fered seeing hatred and sin take over ev- didn’t WANT to see “THE MOVIE”—I erywhere or how He suffered before ever knew it would be bloody and brutal. I getting to the cross. His crucifi xion almost like to be entertained when I watch a seemed a relief compared to what He had movie and I knew this one wasn’t going already endured. to be entertaining. I felt like it was my As a Christian, I think I could have “got- obligation as a Christian, and the least ten the message” with less brutality but I could do was watch what Christ did in reality I believe the beating was even for me and for all of us. I had to turn worse than what the movie showed us. It my head away several times, close might be a better evangelistic tool if we my eyes and pray to get through it. saw more of Christ’s life before the betray- Even then, the intense sounds let al and capture and more of the resurrec- me know what was happening. It tion but the movie was about Christ’s last should keep us all thinking. All of twelve hours. It wasn’t anti-Semitic; it was my preconceptions were met but an accurate visualization of the gospels. I could not have known how real Seeing this movie reminds us of the sin it would seem. lurking everywhere in the world, among I don’t think I will ever look all people, controlling the crowds; when at communion in the same we see the stone moving from the front of way again. Although I the tomb and our Lord Jesus Christ stands, thought I knew what the His love for us should lead us and give us “broken body” was, I strength to face anything this world gives certainly have a new us.face anything this world gives us. Sparking A more secular viewpoint Lissa Avery defi nitely serves his purpose. conversations News Editor So I both agree and disagree with the term “emotional The Passion begins in an un- pornography”-- it may be, but of God’s love specifi ed forest in an unspeci- in attempt to make a realistic Cyril Duffala wood, we fi ed country at an unspecifi ed movie, it may not be. Guest Writer attended the time, with four unspecifi ed I found characters who op- fi rst showing. men, one of which the viewer posed Jesus to be almost car- As a Christian I am often leery Now, I love movie can safely assume, from the toonish. The Roman guards of religious fi lms. Too often these popcorn but not ten sheer beauty of his visage, to that beat him, the Galilean fi lms are fi lled with stereotypes, minutes into the movie I be Jesus. Beef up on your bib- royalty, and the Jews were all hidden agendas, Hollywood had to put my popcorn down as lical history, folks. I am knowl- single-sided characters. Not glitz, and bad doctrine. A few I couldn’t take my eyes off of the edgeable enough to have rec- that time could be taken for in- good examples of how religion is screen. There was something ognized Judas, who appears depth character development, treated in American TV and fi lm about this movie that was dif- through all of that anguish for shortly after this opening but I would have appreciated include Chris Rock as the thir- ferent from any movie I had ever me, dying on that cross with my scene, but not enough to know less simplifi cation. teenth Disciple in “Dogma,” John seen before. Fraternity brothers face in his minds eye? with whom he was dealing, The oversimplifi ed dichot- Wayne standing at the foot of the I have known for years were This message is one that the which left me stumped for the omy made me wonder if the cross in “The Greatest Story Ever weeping; I myself was crying. American people should take to fi rst 15 minutes of the fi lm. movie wasn’t dumbed down Told,” and The Church Lady from After the movie was over heart. People have come to take The term “emotional por- for the masses or to further “Saturday Night Live.” Despite people couldn’t leave their seats for granted most everything in nography” has been bantered emotionally manipulate the my misgivings on religious fi lm, I because they were so over- this country. I can go to church around to describe this movie, audience. The moral and encouraged my fraternity broth- whelmed. They fi nally exited in on Sunday without fear, I can go and there’s plenty of evidence simple dichotomy was almost ers to go see “The Passion of the silence. Very few stopped to talk to the store and buy whatever I to support this. Every grunt, on the scale of “Lord of the Christ” before I myself had even to the TV cameras and newspa- need, I can travel all over this moan, tortured look, sob, Rings.” previewed it. pers that were lined up outside great land, but my freedom came and hint of bone is shown in Interestingly enough, there Christianity is not often con- for interviews. I’m a very talk- at the expense of many lives. excruciating detail. But if one are no overt attempts at con- sidered a persecuted religion ative person, but that ride home We have lived so long in rela- is going to make a movie il- version in the movie. The fi lm unless you talk to missionaries was an awkward one. I had noth- tive peace and quiet we feel no lustrating the death of Jesus of assumes you believe that Jesus from Sudan or China. The media ing to say. My mind was still tak- need to fi ght for the freedoms Nazareth, details of his physi- is the Son of God just as it as- coverage this ing in all I had that were paid for in blood. cal sufferings and personal sumes you have knowledge of fi lm received ust seen. Instead, we march around at relationships are crucial to the disciples’ and followers’ before its release Fraternity After the anti-war rallies thinking that the story. identities. was intriguing. initial shock everyone around the world will Everything that occurs in All of that said, I will admit I don’t know brothers I fi nally wore off, wake up one day and decide that the movie seems to be de- I found the movie to be inter- why the media the conversa- hatred and war don’t make sense signed to evoke a gut-wrench- esting. Their was the beauti- chooses to per- have known tions started. anymore even though greed and ing response. And it succeeds fully portrayed androgynous secute Christi- This might be selfi shness can never be elimi- if the sobs emanating from Satan and the possibility of anity’s right to for years were the most im- nated from human nature. the men and women in the the historical accurateness of free speech in portant thing Worst of all are us Christians. audience were any indica- the tale, barring, of course, this country, but weeping. that comes out Our friends are going to hell and tion. Many emotional ele- the healing, Judas’s incentive they didn’t waste of this fi lm. It we don’t give a damn. We are ments of the movie, however, towards suicides, resurrection, any time label- most defi nitely the hypocrites of the world be- seem too orchestrated. The and general idea of Jesus as ing the fi lm Anti-Semitic, fun- will become an evangelistic tool cause we know the truth and we ten minute focus on Jesus’ a messiahs. There was also, damentalist, and controversial. in the hands of church leaders still live immorally. And those scourging, complete with admittedly, the gut-wrenching Mel Gibson didn’t have to spend around the world. Most conver- crosses around your necks are close-up shots of clearly-vis- experience of the fi lm, which hardly anything on fi lm promo- sations I’ve had center around what get the bad name. Christ ible bone, seemed to be lay- is welcome after the blandness tion because of all the media at- God’s amazing love. It may seem did nothing but love uncondi- ing it on a bit thick. that has plagued Hollywood tention. Now that I have seen the weird, but every time Jesus was tionally and died on that cross And yet, if Jesus of Nazareth for years. Jesus doesn’t have to movie, I fully understand what struck in the face or fell to the for you and every single person was beat in that manner, and if be your messiah for the events all the fuss was about. ground I was overwhelmed by you know. But who wants to Mel Gibson wished to portray of the movie to be horrifi c and I bought twelve tickets and, love. He suffered all of that for fi ght when there is popcorn to his suffering as realistically to make an impact, albeit a like good disciples of Holly- me. Why would God himself go be eaten? as possible, this set of scenes non-conversional one. The Rose Thorn Edited by Jacob P. Silvia Friday, March 19, 2004 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT 5 M-opolis: Chapter 2 Gregory Weir way to the back of the line. have the, hmm, the only key. Humor Editor Ding. Willian was next. He stood “You see, Willian,” the man & up, gripping his briefcase and continued, “My name is, hmm, Jacob P. Silvia watching as an old man reported Mr. Plover, and I work for the Entertainment Editor an act of vandalism. Someone organization you know as had spray painted a snake on the ESCRoW.” FICTION wall in the corridor of the old man’s Willian’s eyes widened. building. Willian’s grip instinctively ESCRoW. The elite group that Willian sat on the hard plastic tightened on the handle of his enforced The Way of society from seat, holding a piece of paper that case. He knew what the snake behind the scenes. The briefcase read “76.” He clutched the case meant. Rumors spoke of a group slid out of his clammy grasp, containing his precious papers dissatisfi ed with The Way and falling to the fl oor, snapping open, as the display above the window ESCRoW’s activities, a group that and spilling miscellaneous papers dinged and changed to read “73.” met in secret and occasionally onto the fl oor.. He had been waiting at the posted wild, rambling manifestos Mr. Plover sniffed. “Oh, my, you police station for an hour, ever on the doors of management didn’t take your, hmm, licentious since the package with the strange buildings. writings with you, did you, label had exploded, shattering his The old man fi nished his report Willian? That wasn’t very smart. windows, blowing a hole in a wall, and hobbled away. The display Oh, well, that just makes our job and knocking him across the room. dinged, and Willian stepped a bit, hmm, easier.” He reached He examined the scratches on his forward, handing his forms to the He opened the door and peeked know.” into the coat of his uniform. His arms. They didn’t seem bad enough harried-looking young man behind inside. Willian blinked in confusion. hand emerged and the tenuous to need medical attention; besides, the counter. “Yes, um, Mr. Newes?” The room was bare, with only a “You do? I mean, I never wrote light glinted off of an obsidian the wait at the hospital would mean the receptionist asked, “You’ve pair of dilapidated chairs, a water that down on the…” He trailed off, metal object. he wouldn’t be able to get any sleep checked the box marked ‘Other.’ cooler, and a dubious piece of his eyes drawn to a patch on the “Yes, well, Willian, you are a at all before the next day. Are you sure that the crime you are furniture that was either a wide man’s sleeve. It depicted the jet- very dangerous man. Yes, hmm, Ding. 74. Willian looked over reporting does not fall into one of stool or a short table. The walls were black silhouette of a bird, perhaps very dangerous. And ESCRoW the forms he had fi lled out. He the categories on the form?” bare concrete; a mirrored window a raven, its beak tightly clamped can not simply allow a dangerous hoped he had entered the correct Willian scratched the back of his refl ected the single dusty, fl ickering on the neck of an emerald-green man such as yourself to run information. His name and neck nervously. “Umm, yes,” he light bulb that dangled from the serpent. about without being, hmm, taken address were correct, but none of replied. ceiling. He sat down in one of the It was the same insignia that was care of.” He pointed the gun at the checkboxes under “Reason(s) The clerk nodded and signed chairs, shifting uncomfortably, and on the bomb. Willian’s chest. “Do you have any, for Visit” seemed appropriate; the bottom of the form. “Very waited patiently. Willian stood up suddenly, his hmm, anything to say before you “Attempted Murder” or “Assault” well, Mr. Newes.” He pointed After a few unpleasant minutes, chair tipping over and hitting the are, as it were, taken care of?” seemed the closest, but “Industrial at a door beside the reception the door opened, and a man in a ground with a thud. The uniformed Willian’s lips parted, but no Sabotage” could also apply. He had window. “If you’ll just step into the gray uniform entered. “Willian man smiled unpleasantly. “That’s sound came out. fi nally, reluctantly, checked “Other.” interview room, I’ll have one of the Newes?” the man asked. right, Mr. Newes. We know all “Fair enough, Willian,” Mr. He knew that it would require him offi cers speak with you as soon as Willian sat up nervously. “Ah, about the, hmm, attempt on your Plover said. “So nice, hmm, to fi ll out even more forms, but it possible.” yes, offi cer. I’m here to report a, life.” He sat down in the other meeting you.” was better than the receptionist Willian nodded and shuffl ed um, a bombing.” chair. “I wouldn’t bother trying He pulled the trigger, and telling him he had checked the to the indicated door as he heard The man examined a clipboard to run, Willian—may I call you Willian’s world faded, collapsing wrong box and sending him all the the counter ding behind him. in his hands. “Yes, Mr. Newes, I Willian?—the door is locked, and I into a single point of pain. Guitars make the man attractive. Sondre makes the Guitar Attractive

Adrian Throop Staff Writer

With his fi rst release, “Faces Down,” Sondre Lerche became a pop hero of sorts in his native Norway, and since its release to the rest of the world he has become the equivalent of an underground heart-throb. First of all, this is because Lerche is quite attractive in the eyes of giggly teenage girls, who go more for “ba-ba-ba-da’s” come out just Breadsticks are the Stephen Malkmus types as naturally as the structured than the Justin Timberlake Enligsh. But English itself isn’t types. And sure he is quite, completely natural to Lerche; but can he play? He proved although he speaks fl uent good. he can on “Faces Down,” and English, his native tongue is he is certainly delivering again Norwegian. Still he sings in with his sophomore release English, and he has explained “Two Way Monologue.” in various interviews that he All of the arrangements on does this because English is a “Two Way Monologue” are much more musical sounding again done by Lerche. His language to him. Given all of main instrumentation is with this, his lyrics still convey a the guitar, and he doesn’t let great degree of universality Pizza is better. its presence go to waste. The and artfulness. Probably guitar parts written sound so most interesting is the fuse natural to be played when of his maturity with a more they are in that it seems as if childish theme; in the title Lerche has asked the guitar track of the album we learn “Where would you sound that a “Two Way Monologue” best guitar?” and the guitar is an argument Lerche is used answers with what you hear to having with his parents, as Both are best. in the melodies. What really the verses alternate with the makes your head sway upon openings of “Ma!” and “Pa!” hearing the songs is the For those who have already harmonizing that Lerche experienced “Faces Down,” Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large creates with multiple guitars, Lerche will please your harpsichords, strings, French ears again with “Two Way One-Topping One-Topping horns, and more. Monologue.” For anyone He is cute, he can write and else still looking for another Store Hours... Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am play guitar, what else would enjoyable singer/songwriter Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am you want in a man, right? Well, to add to their collection, 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 his lyrics also display maturity, Lerche is your man. Although Campus Only Campus Only ONLY ONLY and like his guitar parts his no one can ever replace 9 7 lyrics have a natural, unforced someone like Harry Nilsson, Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE feel to them. Probably most Sondre Lerche is delivering AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid evident on the track “Counter a new degree to the Nilsson with any other offer. Valid only at participat- with any other offer. Valid only at participat- ing locations. Customer pays all applicable 232-PAPA ing locations. Customer pays all applicable Spark” is the fact that Lerche’s style of sound. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. Edited by Brandon Hathaway The Rose Thorn 6 OPPINIONSINIONS Friday, March 19, 2004 Todos somos Madrileños just got a call on her phone, After an ordeal and it looks like she got some getting out of the bad news. You look around, station, you see on and unless everyone is related, the news that this it was not a death in the family. was indeed a terrorist Everyone who is on their phone attack; the explosion is clearly upset. You decide to call went off early, and your friend that you meet every had it detonated on morning on the train, to see if time, you would be everything is ok. The only thing dead. There is an you hear is a message saying that announcement from the person you are trying to call the President that Imagine, for just a moment, is unavailable. He never turns off this was a retaliatory that you live in a large city and his phone. strike because of use mass transit everyday to get An announcement comes our involvement in to work. For the past fourteen over the PA, informing those Iraq, and although months, you have taken the passengers still waiting that our commitment to Number 12 train every business the station is shut down and fi ghting terror is still day to the job that hired you right everyone needs to return home, there, we would be out of college. It is the fi rst time because there was an attack withdrawing by the that you have lived in the city, on the Number 12, half a mile end of the month. the consulting fi rm that hired from the station. Hearing the You wonder about www.bonniechurchill.com you has paid you well; your life announcement, you can feel what the terrorists is fantastic. the color leave wanted, how the attack on civilians on their way to My deepest respect and Everyday, you arrive at the your face. My deepest train became a work, school, or breakfast. sympathy lie with those station, 14 minutes before the Clearly, neither rolling coffi n, why Regardless of how strongly the Spaniards who have suffered train is scheduled to arrive (you you nor the respect and your friend will Spanish people feel, the terrorists this deep and tragic attack, but still like to watch the train pull other waiting never answer his will hear only the sounds of the I am a little disheartened that into the station) and pick up passengers feel phone, how that victory of the Socialist Party, the those people exercising their a newspaper. You have a seat, safe, and you sympathy lie attractive young calls for more distant relations right to vote have, possibly, open the paper, and wonder if hurriedly try woman went with the United States, and inadvertently sent a message of that attractive young woman is to get out of with the from a potential troops to leave Iraq. Whether or weakness to those vile and hate looking at you, but are a little the station to date to an image not Spain actually leaves Iraq in fi lled perpetrators of monstrous distracted because there is an return to your Spaniards. of death, and why June, the damage is done. Islamic death. However, the Spanish unusual amount of cellphones apartment. You your government fundamentalists attacked Spain, government’s decision should ringing. You check your watch, turn on CNN is stepping down cited Iraq as the reason, and not cause us to give up on them. fi fteen minutes have passed. to try to push the sound of the from the challenge of terrorists. the Spanish people balked. The Every victim of terror, no matter The Number 12 is late, and you announcement out of your mind You can probably see fact that there is not universal the nationality, is who we are cannot remember the last time and forget the look of horror on through my analogy. This is an disgust at the evil that men can trying to protect. On September it was late. that attractive young woman’s fi ctionalization of the Madrid unleash upon each other is very 11, we were all New Yorkers. The attractive young woman face. bombings, a remarkably terrible saddening. Ahora, todos somos Madrileños. Letter to the Editor Senator explains his vote

Dear Editor, (IVCF) all fall into the second Evan Lang to promote a welcoming and by any amount of funding or category. Guest Commentary tolerant campus, who honestly recognition. This does not I am writing in response Unity’s objective is to promote thinks that t-shirts will improve just mean that funding given to the March 12 article titled acceptance of Gay, Lesbian, and The Unity Club’s stated the situation? Or perhaps them will be given frivolously. “Commentary on Unity” by Ms. Transgendered, Bisexual, and purpose is to provide a place public speakers? I assume There is a very real chance that Odessa Goedert. Questioning individuals. IVCF’s where anyone can feel safe from the target audience of these eventually—maybe not with From her article, I gather that goal is religious, to bring people persecution, and to create a endeavors is the bigoted, hate- this generation of Unity, but Ms. Goedert feels the members to Christ. “welcome” environment, which fi lled people the Unity Club is perhaps the next one or the one of Unity are being discriminated Although I am not familiar I presume means they want to aligned against. after—that the funding they against by the students and with St. Joseph’s stated mission, eliminate the perceived hatred Consider for a moment such receive will be used to openly school because of the repeated for our purposes, I feel it is safe at its source. Their constitution a person. What would you do denounce the moral code of denial of funds and full club to say it is similar to IVCF’s. narrows this purpose to change their mind? Is there large portions of the student status. I fi rmly believe that Ms. These organizations all seek to specifi cally to persecution due anything you could say or do body as hateful. Nowhere does Goedert is wrong. institute a social change. A social to sexual orientation. that would make them think Unity distinguish between It is my assessment that there change that not all students may Every single one of us has “You know what, it was really those who disagree with their are two types of organizations agree with, or be interested in. problems in our lives that wrong to hate those people. I acceptance policies, and those on campus. The fi rst are groups As such, it is wrong for these need to be overcome. Every think I’ll stop.” It’s absurd. who hate them personally. whose objectives are to provide groups to receive funding from single one of us has hardships Hate and bigotry are It would be only too easy students with skills and / or the school. By receiving school we must face: the fat, the ugly, irrational behaviors, and no and too natural for Unity to entertainment. The second are monetary support, the SGA the stupid, the geeky, the amount of rational explanation lump both groups together organizations whose objectives would essentially be forcing all loud-mouthed, the smelly, the will correct them. Changing and attack them as equally are to institute a change in social students, whether they agree or paranoid, the gay. Every single an irrational person’s mind vile monsters. And there are norms or standards. not, to support these groups. one of us has things about our requires changing conditioned already warning signs that The organizations on campus I don’t know about anybody life that we don’t like, and that responses. That usually plays such behavior may, to a greater who receive funding, so far as I else, but I fi nd the concept of we struggle with. And every out in an extremely long or lesser extent, already exist. am aware, all fall into the fi rst being told what I must do with single one of us fi nds our own process of befriending the Unity has requested that the category. Clubs such as the my money despicable. If you ways of dealing with them. person, and then gradually SGA invest $600 in the Chicago Rock climbing club, the Scuba want to form a group to institute For most of us, our comfort revealing to them, in a positive Collegiate Pride Fest, which is club, the Chess Club and the social change, I believe you and strength comes from our environment, the truth behind sponsored and run by several Dance Dance Revolution club have every right to do so. This is family and friends. This is their irrational emotions. No activist groups that behave are excellent examples of this America after all. Just don’t make where the purpose of the Unity club or organization is in any in precisely this manner, category. me pay for it. Club comes into play. They wish position to accomplish this. It is and there is little reason to I claim that organizations to serve as a source of comfort purely by individual effort that believe that their fest will be such as Unity, the St. Joseph Andrew “AJ” Boyd and strength for the gay. such problems are solved. any different. Should we pay Catholic Campus Ministry, and Mechanical Engineer Of all the countless Unity’s mission statement $600 for a small group of Rose InterVarsity Christian Fellowship Class of 2004 diffi culties we face in life, and has two parts: protection from students to attend a festival all the ways we fi nd to deal with persecution, and activism where so many of the rest of them, the Unity Club is the only against the hateful and the us will be unjustly derided as one to come before the student bigoted. As we have seen, the hate-fi lled bigots? Hey folks, next week, there will appear the fi rst body as a whole and request fi rst part does not require any In conclusion, our money, of a recurring socio-political feature on the money to help them in their offi cial recognition or funding, at its best, is thrown away in Opinions Page, “Left and Write,” where two efforts. and the second part cannot an effort to solve problems How much money is be accomplished by group that money cannot solve, and writers will explore different sides of an issue. necessary to be kind to activism—neither by public at its worst it is used to fund The fi rst installment will have a piece by Col- someone? What kind of offi cial speakers nor t-shirts. It is an ideological battle which recognition is necessary to purely by individual effort that so many of the funders are on umnist Brandon Javella and Opinions Editor create friendships? Is hiring a such problems are solved. the opposite side of. Therefore, Brandon Hathaway. If you would like to par- public speaker necessary to Therefore, Unity’s purpose either way—no matter what make you feel good about each (and thus Unity itself) is of your moral position is—there ticipate, please contact the Opinions Editor by other? Does it require t-shirts absolutely no interest to us, is absolutely no reason to vote e-mail at [email protected]. and bumper stickers? as the SGA, and stands no “yes” for giving Unity club If the goal of all of this is chance of gaining anything status. The Rose Thorn Edited by Josh Annin Friday, March 19, 2004 SPPORTSORTS 7

SOFTBALL (6-8, 0-0 SCAC) BASEBALL (13-0, 4-0 SCAC) Last Week: Last Week: Rose-Hulman 4-6, Blackburn 3-0 -- The Engineers Rose-Hulman 6-10, Millikin 5-9—Rose-Hulman defeated Blackburn College in a doubleheader at defeated Millikin University in dramatic fashion Saturday, home last Thursday. Senior Sarah Birely singled in the with game-ending home runs in both games of the bottom of the eighth inning and was moved around doubleheader. by a sacrifi ce from Lynsey Hart to break the tie and win The Engineers held a 4-2 advantage after the second the game. inning, but Millikin tied the game in the top of the seventh. Pitcher Lauren Clark struck out three batters in After two more scoreless innings, the Big Blue scored again. the complete game and hit a home run over the left- Freshman Matt Salisbury rocketed a ball over the fence center fence. In the second game, junior Amanda for two runs to end the fi rst game. The game featured a Bower batted in four runs and pitcher Jennifer Shafer record-tying six Engineers hit by pitches. allowed only two hits. In the second game, Milikin held a one run lead into the bottom of the seventh. Senior Matt Moore, who was Rose-Hulman 8-9, Manchester 3-10 -- Rose-Hulman hit by four pitches in the doubleheader, launched a one- increased its winning streak to fi ve before splitting the out home run to the scoreboard for the victory. Salisbury, doubleheader Saturday. Hart had seven bases on four Moore, and junior civil Shawn Smith each hit twice in the hits and scored three times in the opener. nightcap. The Engineers fought from two runs back to earn extra innings in the night game, but Manchester WOMEN’S TENNIS (2-7) scored in the bottom of the eighth. Bower, Clark, and Last Week: Shafer all had three hits for Rose-Hulman. Photo Courtesy Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman falls to Franklin 4-5 and IS-SE 0-9 -- The Engineers claimed four singles victories over Junior Nathan Soyer was named National Pitcher of the Week by the Franklin 5-5, Rose-Hulman 4-7 -- The Engineers National Collegiate Baseball Writers Association last Friday. Franklin, including Jennifer Porter in two sets and Krista scored a pair in the second and three in the third Gonnerman and Bridget Wiltgen in three set matches. inning of the late game to split with Franklin Sunday. ATHLETES OF ACCOMPLISHMENT They couln’t claim any of the three doubles spots to lose Janae Chaney and Hart had three hits each in the Baseball: the close matchup, but Victoria Lee and Lindsey Salazar second game. Franklin took the fi rst game with a two- Nathan Soyer was recognized as the NCAA Div. went 9-7 before being defeated. out single in the bottom of the seventh inning. III National Pitcher of the Week for his efforts Indiana University-Southeast soundly defeated during the spring trip. His 0.63 ERA and 2-0 record Rose-Hulman Sunday afternoon. Rachel Rieck went included his fi rst career shutout over Sewanee. MEN’S TENNIS (8-7) three sets for the Engineers. Last Week: Softball: Rose-Hulman defeats Sinclair 5-4, Franklin 6-3, Earlham 7, Rose-Hulman 2 -- Rose-Hulman was led Lynsey Hart was named SCAC Player of the Week and Hanover 7-2; lose to IU-Southeast 3-6 -- The by Megan Lafferty and Jennifer Porter, who each won for the second straight time. She hit .700 last week, Engineers played four matches over the weekend straight-set matches. with four doubles and a triple, good for 1.000 and improved their record to over .500 with the three slugging and .769 on-base percentages victories. RIFLE Sophomore Alex Hayes remained unbeaten through At Nationals: Tennis: the weekend, with a 4-0 record at #5 and #6 singles. Jason LaBella shot 389 out of a perfect 400 in the Joe Rottman and Mike Bergfi eld, doubles partners, th Junior Dan Conley was 2-0 at singles and 2-0 at National Air Rifl e competition to fi nish 11 of 24 each won six matches last weekend. Four of the doubles. Freshman Joe Rottman was 6-0 overall, and competitors from all NCAA divisions. He also earned wins were combined, and each had two singles Mike Bergfi eld went 6-1 on the weekend--the two an NCAA All-American award, the fi rst ever won by the victories. paired for a doubles win in every match. Rose-Hulman rifl e team. Jason LaBella becomes Rose-Hulman’s fi rst rifl e All-American, fi nishes 11th MURRAY, KY.-- Rose-Hulman 17th-place fi nish in the NCAA Coach Michael Ray. “He treated Institute of Technology senior Qualifi er at Xavier University. it just like any other match and Jason LaBella (Massena, LaBella becomes the 32nd correspondingly put in a strong N.Y.) fi nished 11th out of student-athlete in any sport to performance.” 24 competitors in air rifl e earn All-American honors at National winner Morgan at the NCAA Rifl e National Rose-Hulman. Hicks from Murray State Championships on Friday “It was a lot of fun going University shot a 398 to claim afternoon. against the top rifl e shooters the individual title. LaBella shot a score of 389 in the nation. I performed to “Most people outside the out of a possible 400 to fi nish the best of my ability and felt shooting community don’t in the top-half of a competition like that I competed on a high have any idea how special this featuring the nation’s best level against the nation’s best,” is. What makes it even more shooters at any level, including said LaBella. special is that fact that it came several student-athletes that LaBella’s air rifl e score from a student-athlete from a will participate in the upcoming included 25 perfect centers school of our size and diffi culty. Olympic Games in Athens. out of his 40 shots and was Performing well in the NCAAs He also earned the fi rst rifl e his personal top score in two and receiving an All-American All-American in school history years. award in the same year against due to his season-long efforts “Jason did exactly what he the Division I student-athletes in smallbore, capped by a should have at this match,” said is truly remarkable,” said Ray. Interested in going to this game for free?→ The fi rst 3 people to email thorn@rose- hulman.edu with the code below will receive two free tickets.

Code: Arena Volume 39, Issue 19 I’m a little bit Art Deco, and a little bit American Post-Expressionist. Friday, March 19, 2004 Wacky Prof Quotes “The problem with chemistry is that it’s taught by chemistry people. That takes all the fun out of it.” --Prof. Robinson, teaching chemistry

“Plug in ‘she-male’ and ‘porn’ and see what you get.” --Prof. Brophy, on Google searches

“I would say something, but then I will end up in the damn paper.” --Prof. Sherman, on journalistic integrity

“I have a disposition to look, because I’m a sexologist. You can all look now too.” --Prof. Brophy, apparently still on Google searches

“If you add crap together, you get the bell-shaped damn curve.” --Prof. Sherman, on proba-frickin’-bility

“Who cares what end you suck... of the egg.” --Prof. Hoover, on ovum osculation

“Then you go home and eat popcorn.” --Prof. Graves, establishing priorities

What Exactly Is a “Brigadoon?” “If you have an excuse... your cat ate your car, your relative’s funeral is six weeks from In the 1300s, the Scottish Grant clan had a now, or something...” tradition like the modern custom of planting --Prof. Thomas, providing valid excuses for missing lab time capsules. They would carve messages into sheep hipbones, enclose them in “If it’s negative, then it’s ‘no chance...’ and you fi ll in the blank. There’s a sheeps’ bladders, and bury them beneath euphemistic term in here.” mounds of rocks called “brigge doones” --Prof. McKinney, discussing statistics and the ratio. (literally, “time mounds”). This term was borrowed by Lerner and Lowe for the name Send your prof quotes or other humor material to: of the time-locked town in their musical. fl [email protected]

Herbig’s Pun of the Week Snake Brandon Javella My computer isn’t that nervous... it’s just a bit ANSI. Top Ten Bad Ideas for Musicals 10. Little Shop of Whores 9. Joshua Hertz, Superstar 8. 12 Dancin’ Monkeys 7. Finnegan’s Wake! 6. A Musical Journey into the Bright World of Social Darwinism 5. Les Miserable, Deux 4. Tha Ring of Nibelungen: A Rap Opera 3. Stagehand 2. The Naked Gun: 4/4 Time 1. Grease

This Day in History French writer Honore de Balzac performs what is possibly the fi rst publicity stunt in history. It fails because everyone is busy laughing at his name.

In Addition A wise man once said words that changed my life. “If they are our brothers,” the great one asked, “then why can’t we eat them?”

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of The Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions, I hope. If you’re offended, save all barcodes. ||| || | || | All material is copyright of its respective owner. You know, there’s a really good serial novel on page fi ve.