Taking up a New Habit

FOR THOSE PASSIONATE ABOUT RAISING THE NEXT GENERATION

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November 2019 | Issue 35 | £5.95

Taking up a new habit

Not your convent-ional youth work

Wanted: men in children's work ISSN 2399-6889 35 We need more BAME leaders Understanding the teen brain 9 772399 688015 And he’s not alone. A staggering 95% of children and young people in England and Wales don’t go to church! Together, we can help them encounter Jesus.

Join The 95 Campaign for FREE ideas and resources for your own outreach, and for opportunities to support others: www.the95.org.uk TWO NEW COLUMNS: Mental health check and Toolbox

November 2019 | Issue 35

REGULARS FEATURES CENTRE SECTION

5 First word

7 Feedback

8 Recharge 36 The adolescent brain Karen Todd looks at how Seized by fear understanding the teenage brain can help parents thrive 11 News and comment 40 Forming faith rituals 15 YCW investigates Advent and Christmas Youth and children's workers: salary and employment 42 A story for home Rahab 16 Reviews

18 Q&A Francine Rivers

27 Guest children's work column Pantomimes 20 How are we 30 Safeguarding Missing person: ensuring that Abuse allegations The male children's leader Alex Taylor explores why there children and 31 Case study are so few men in this important families feel Child's play area of ministry comfortable and 33 Leadership 101 Values at home in our churches? 43 NEW Mental health check Talking to young people about Guest children's column, suicide page 27

46 NEW Toolbox Kolb's learning cycle

47 Guest youth work column We need more BAME leaders

48 Ask the profs Is there a God behind the universe?

49 What does yellow taste like? The Big Bang This month is packed full of all the usual Together sessions, looking at 50 Schools’ work Joshua, along with an all-age service, Christmas 24 games, crafts and many other ideas. Taking up a new habit 66 In case of emergency We hear the vision behind a convent See resources contents on How to avoid that November feeling being taking over by youth workers page 54 for more information.

3 November

Download a free ebook of Bob’s stories at youthandchildrenswork/stories

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Tickets are free, but you do need to book.

Reserve your place at Premier.org.uk/carolservice CHIEF EXECUTIVE Peter Kerridge

DIRECTOR OF CONTENT First word Charmaine Noble-McLean

EDITOR Ruth Jackson

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RESOURCES EDITOR Alex Taylor

NEWS EDITOR Marcus Jones

EDITORIAL OFFICE Premier Youth and Children’s Work, PO Box 17911, London SW1P 4YX 020 7233 6705 [email protected] youthandchildrens.work

ADVERTISING Dave Edmondson 020 7316 1341 t’s the morning after the night before. in our modern world: “The idea of being [email protected] I’m 5,000 miles from home. And now I’m with ourselves – without others, without PREMIER JOBSEARCH wondering how on earth I got here. distractions, without Netflix or coffee shops Alanda Budinger I Over the last few days I’ve had the or Instagram – isn’t just a problem for young 01892 613513 [email protected] immense privilege of rubbing shoulders with people. It has become part of the human some of the sharpest minds in the world at condition. Perhaps because we never get to SUBSCRIPTIONS Unbelievable LA – a conference for those be alone with ourselves we no longer have the [email protected] who are interested in the big questions of life. ability to, and so silence and contemplation feel Annual price: £47.95 (UK Direct Debit), I’ve heard articulate arguments, thoughtful more alien than ever before.” £74 (Europe), answers and winsome appeals. While they recognise that retreating to a £79 (rest of the World). I expected my brain to be challenged, convent may not be the answer for everyone, 01892 611180 expanded and possibly even spinning by the end the article is a helpful reminder and provocation Premier Youth and Children’s Work is of the event. What I hadn’t anticipated was how to prioritise discipline, rest and retreat in our protected by copyright and nothing within it may be reproduced wholly or captivated my imagination would be. And this lives: “We’re aware of the shortages in our own in part without written permission. is such a key thing if we want to engage the next discipleship, of our need for space to be ‘with’, The acceptance of advertising does generation. How do we show them there is a and how this is so often the first thing to get not indicate endorsement. better story; one that makes sense of their lives? deleted from our to-do lists when stuff gets Premier Youth and Children’s Work When I spoke to author Francine Rivers busy.” While sharing the vision behind their new magazine is published by Premier Christian recently (page 18), she said: “I think stories are community, they also suggest some things that Communications. always a way to capture children. It’s the way to we can do at home: “It might be a commitment PREMIER YOUTH AND CHILDREN’S WORK capture adults, too. Story is powerful.” She also to building a rhythm of retreat into our work MAGAZINE ISSN 2399-6889 spoke of the need for us to model our faith to the and daily lives. It might be about emptying out children and young people in our care: “It’s better some of the noise in our ministries in order to FIND US ONLINE: to show it in the way you live than to talk about it, create a bit more space.” youthandchildrens.work because a lot of times they don’t talk but they’re As we head into an inevitably busy watching. They’re always watching.” Francine pre-Christmas season, I’d love to urge us all to was speaking specifically about her grandchildren take stock and remove some of the noise from here, but I think this can be applied to all of us. our lives. What is God saying to you? How can Alongside geeking out and bending the ear we better reach and support the children and of super-smart people, I’ve been blessed with young people we work alongside? Are there any opportunities to chill and enjoy the glorious LA things we need to stop, change or start up? sunshine. In the midst of a busy season, these “You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for Printed in the UK by Stephens and George pockets of rest have been a chance to reflect on your Word to renew me” Psalm 119:114 (The God’s goodness and to ask him for wisdom going Message). forward. I must admit, I’m not good at rest and retreat. It often needs to be forced upon me. And this is why I am so excited that a bunch RUTH JACKSON of youth workers have taken over a convent in is editor of Premier Youth and Children’s Work. order to help people like you and me (and our young people) do just that. The paper used in this publication was produced using wood fibre obtained from On page 24, Jamie Cutteridge speaks Follow us at: @YCWmag sustainable forests and is totally chlorine free. brilliantly about the constant interruptions

5 November Competition time!

Premier Youth and Children’s Work and the Meaningful Chocolate Company have partnered up to give seven lucky readers the chance to win an Advent hamper. We’re looking for the funniest festive cracker joke you know. Simply write it in below and send it over to us. We’ll pick our favourites and get the prizes out to you.

Send us a photo by email at [email protected]

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Untitled-5 1 9/10/19 3:28 PM Feedback

Top tweets @YCWmag Climate change strikes

There were a number of responses about the various Greta @AlixStockwell Thunberg blogs we posted (youthandchildrens.work/read/blog). About to settle into recent editions of @YCWmag Here are a few of them. while fam go #worktimefamilytime #never- tooearlyforshortcake Via email:

I read the article I believe uncritically celebrating Greta Thurnberg encouraging children to bunk off school and strike for so-called climate change. In fact, the general tone of most of your output seems to take it for granted that all Christians should be jumping aboard the climate change bandwagon. I studied Natural Science at Cambridge, and I can assure you that there are legions of eminent scientific voices who dispute the claim that man-made global warming exists. However, they are all silenced by the media in favour of what is a very well-monied political agenda to dictate energy policy and give a mandate to the UN to dictate to governments. How about some balance? Greta Thunberg is no hero or model to our children, unless you think rebellion and bunking off school is an example our young people @the267project should follow. A mentally unstable 16-year-old ranting and Just sitting down to read @YCWmag. Already dictating to adult government leaders is a disturbing spectacle. challenged and encouraged and I’m only on ‘First She is being used and manipulated to advance a powerful agenda. word’. Thank you for the excellent, faithful and I would rather teach my children to be like Daniel, Shadrach, honest words. Meshach and Abednego, and not to bow down when the whole world is bowing down to what is the cult of ‘global warming’, and Gaia, the worship of nature, which is exhibited by the anarchic communists that are Extinction Rebellion.

Regards, James

Feedback from Sudan On Facebook: @YCWmag Dear Ruth, Marie I am writing from Darfur, north Sudan. I am A brilliant and very informative read. Yes, they should strike. currently doing an apologetics course at South I thank God daily that this new generation is railing against the Africa Theological Seminary and was doing apathy of those before them. I’m glad they are politicised and research for children and youth apologetics. vocal. We should support them in every way that we can. I found you seeking about this topic and I was so grateful. It actually helped me to understand a lot about it. Thank you so much Ryan and keep it up. No, they shouldn’t strike. Children shouldn’t be used as a political stunt. This sort of issue should be subjected to informed debate Yours faithfully, Alamadin and discussion, not grandstanding demagoguery.

Caroline Yes, they should strike. It is their planet and it is educational doing a protest. They will learn more first-hand, experiencing it.

We want to Andrea hear from you It is sad that we live in a world where children have to take such Email us at a dramatic stand and play the role of leader. If the adults and politicians were even half as motivated to stand up for our planet, [email protected] children would be free to enjoy their childhood and not fear for (put ‘feedback’ in the their future. subject line to tell us what you think)

7 November Recharge

Recharge is a Bible study just for you, to nurture your own relationship with God. So before you even look at the rest of the magazine, take some time out to focus on him. Grab a coffee, sit, breathe and read.

GRANDE LATTE Haggai 2:20-23; Hebrews 12:26-29; Matthew 1:2-16

FLAT WHITE Haggai 2:20-23

ESPRESSO Haggai 2:23 “I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.”

Seized by fear

Do you ever look at the world and see how powerful it is? God’s people are terrified. They’re small in number. They It’s successful. It’s popular. It prospers. Then you look at have little influence. They live in a tiny country compared with your church, and you see how weak and unimportant it the Persian Empire, which controls the world. They feel very often looks. How can we devote ourselves to building God’s small and completely insignificant. It’s likely that they thought: Church when the world looks so strong and the Church "We don’t want to do anything to upset those who are stronger looks so weak? In this last section of Haggai, God gives us than us!" two reasons why we don’t need to fear. But what does God say? “They’re not as strong as they look. You really don’t need to fear. I am stronger. I’m stronger than all I’m stronger than the world the countries that surround you and taunt you. And don’t forget God says that one day he’s going to shake everything (Haggai 2:20- that if you’re my holy people I’m by your side. The God of armies 22). It’s a picture of his final Judgement Day. When God shakes is with you.” things it uncovers whether they’re strong or not. Like with an earth- We get little reminders of this throughout history, of nations quake, any buildings that have solid foundations remain standing, and people who think they are so powerful, yet they disappear in while weaker buildings crumble. It sounds a lot like the parable of the blink of an eye. The Babylonians, Persians, Mongols, Romans the wise and foolish builders. The house that was built on the sand were all massively powerful, but where are they today? looks exactly the same on the outside as the house that was built on The world may think it’s bigger and better than God and his the rock. But when the shaking comes, one stands and one doesn’t. Church, but oh how wrong its people are. On his final Judgement Hebrews 12:26-29 makes a distinction between things that last Day, who will stand? The powers that trusted in themselves? No. and things that don’t. And there’s one thing that will not be shaken The armies that fought for their glory? No. The kings and queens (12:28): God’s kingdom. God will shake everything on his final who ruled for their own fame? No. Only those who have a firm Judgement Day, but his kingdom will be safe. foundation will stand. Those whose house is built on the rock. Haggai tells us about the kinds of things that will one day be The Christian who has been made holy by Jesus and brought shaken by God. They’re the kind of things that appear strong now, into God’s kingdom. but underneath they’re nothing. Everything that is created and When you look at the world around you that seems so physical. Power and authority that kingdoms in the world have. strong, or when you look at your ministry and it looks so weak Armies and forces. What seems powerful and organised now will be in comparison, you don’t have to fear. You can keep on building utter chaos then as armies destroy their own. God’s Church fearlessly, because you’ve got the God of the Do you see? God says it again and again to hammer it home. He universe on your side. He is stronger than the strength of the is stronger than anything in the whole universe. He’s more power- world. And on that final Judgement Day, when God shakes ful than armies, rulers and even whole kingdoms. He just clicks everything, only that which is truly strong will stand in his pres- his fingers and they are destroyed. How? Because he’s the Lord ence. The rest? He’ll smash it to the ground. Almighty. He’s the God of armies.

November 8 You can keep on building God’s Church fearlessly, because you’ve got the God of the universe on your side

My king will rule giving up on me.” Wouldn’t that give you a bit of courage to do Zerubbabel is one of the names that comes up a lot in Haggai. what God had asked of you? Wouldn’t it give you the energy to Who is he? In Haggai 1:1 we’re told he is the son of Shealtiel. press on and keep going? That’s important, because Shealtiel is a descendant of King Think about it. Jesus is king of the universe right now. He has David, which means Zerubbabel is as well. In fact, Zerubbabel’s all authority in heaven and on earth. Right now, Jesus is seated at grandfather, Jeconiah, was king of Judah when the Babylonians the right hand of God, and he is wearing God’s signet ring. He is came in and captured God’s people. So, Zerubbabel was really the ruling the world, his kingdom is growing, and nothing and no one heir to the throne. But we’re told more about his role here. He is can stop him. The power doesn’t lie with the people of the world. only the governor of Judah, not the king. God’s people are still The power lies with the king on the throne. under the rule of the Persians, so they have a Persian king: Dari- How did Jesus look at the moment when he died? Weak, us. God’s people are not fully free. vulnerable and defeated. But what was going on underneath? The So God makes this promise to Zerubbabel that he will become earth shook as he defeated, once for all, the powers of this world. like God’s signet ring. Only kings have signet rings, which have He looked weak, but he was bringing about something unimag- a stamp on them to act as their signature and symbolise their inably glorious: the complete and full forgiveness of sins. And authority. But we’ve got a problem. We know from history that death? It had no grip on him. Zerubbabel never became king, let alone a king with the authority of God. So, what’s this promise about? What are you waiting for? Why should you devote your life to building God’s Church? Why should you build up the believers? Why should you reach out to the lost? Why should you pour time, energy, money and resources into teaching and spreading the gospel of Jesus? Why should Jesus looked weak, you make sacrifices in your life so you can build up God’s people in love, faith and good deeds? Because Jesus is on the throne, and but he was bringing he is building his Church. about something And one day he will shake the heavens and the earth. He will show you where true power really lies. And on that day, the only unimaginably glorious thing left standing will be the king and his kingdom. So, what is there to fear? When it comes to putting all your personal interests last and Just as he did with King David, God promised that, sometime to devoting yourself wholly and fearlessly to the work of building in the future, one of his descendants would be a greater king than God’s Church, the world will say: “That is stupid.” But, what say all previous kings. A king over all the world. And not just king does the world have when King Jesus is on the throne? for a few years, but king for ever. That promise wasn’t to David himself, but to his family line – someone in the generations to come who would fit that description. It’s just the same here. God’s promise isn’t to Zerubbabel as an individual, but as a descendant of King David. A descendant TAKEAWAY who would one day be the great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great-grandfather of the most awesome, powerful, mighty “Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes king in the whole universe. Zerubbabel didn’t fit the description, that Jesus is the Son of God.” but Jesus did. 1 John 5:5 King Jesus is the one who wears God’s signet ring on his finger. He is the one who has the divine power of God in him. He is the one who rules with all the authority of the creator of the universe. He is the one who will one day smash all the enemies who stand in his way. Jesus is the King. Just imagine for a moment being Zerubbabel, the governor PRAYER of Judah. You look at the Persian Empire and see that it is huge and mighty. You’re the one who is meant to be leading God’s Father, may I live for you fearlessly, proclaiming your name, people in building the temple. How do you feel? Terrified! King denying myself, taking up my cross and following you. Amen. Darius of the Persians could crush you in an instant. So you think: “Maybe we’ll just keep our heads down. Let’s not bother with the temple.” But God says to you: “You, Zerubbabel. You. From your line will come my king. He’s going to rule not only the Persian Empire, but the whole universe. And not just for a DAVE CORNES few years, but for ever. From you, Zerubbabel! So don’t you go is head of youth ministry at St James Muswell Hill.

9 November presents A powerful video series with world-renowned thinkers across the Christian and Atheist community.

The Big Conv ersa tion

SEASON TWO - EPISODE 2 William Lane Craig and Sir Roger Penrose The Universe: How did it get here and why are we part of it?

thebigconversation.show Unbelievable? Podcast News COMMENT presents Video game addiction A powerful video series with world-renowned thinkers across the Christian and Atheist community. The NHS recently announced it was to open the first clinic to help young people who are seriously addicted to computer games. GPs are now able to refer 13 to 24-year-olds in England so they can get help from professionals over Skype. This does seem really helpful. We appear to have a lot of young people with an identity crisis, where they just don’t know who they are any more. I think young people having someone to talk to will be a great help, but for me I think it’s much better to have biblical counselling because the NHS and the education services can only do so much. I soon realised I had a problem with video game addiction when I was a teenager and started to take my faith more seriously. I realised I was feeling isolated. My childhood wasn’t exactly the best, so for me video games provided an outlet through which I could just escape from reality. The negative impact it had on me was that I became more isolated, and I started to lose track of what was real and what was fantasy. When you’re gaming you are able to become someone else. It’s fine while you’re playing, but when you go back out into society it’s a bit of a shock to the system because you no longer have that illusion of power or things like that. The With this becoming more and more of an issue for many, it seems to me that young people are trying to fill the void in their souls with something. Often it’s video games, but it can also be money or drugs or whatever else. That’s the source of the problem, and you can’t really solve the problem until you get to the source of it, so I think that’s really the fundamental issue. There is so much we as the Church can be doing in this area. We have to come alongside families, because Big this starts in the home. I think we need to set healthy boundaries for young people. I don’t want to give the impression that all video games are inherently evil. There have been studies that show they can be a good stress relief for young people, and that they activate different parts of the brain, so in moderation they’re fine. But we have to set boundaries. We also have to provide a place of community for the young people, where they feel they can belong. Instead Conv of finding their identity in these fantasy characters, young people need to be able to find their identity in their communities and churches. The NHS service will help, of course, but this is the real issue we need to address if we are going to help in weaning young people off this stuff.

ersa ADAM BRENNAN tion is a digital producer in London and a former video game addict. Getting the giggles in church

Church was recently named as one of the most common places to inappropriately get the giggles, with one in five of us found guilty. To me, this shows that we’re taking church too seriously. Comedy is about putting things together that don't necessarily belong together. Churches are generally deemed to be serious places, so laughing in church feels like the sort of thing you shouldn’t do. It feels a bit transgressive and it feels comic – that’s why it feels inappropriate. The Bible tells us to rejoice and be joyful. God knows that our natural disposition is to be serious around him, SEASON TWO - EPISODE 2 when actually that’s not necessarily the plan. Jesus was funny. He wasn’t a comedian, but he told parables that would have shocked and offended people, and made them laugh. He told stories that would have made people laugh at the Pharisees and the authorities, and that’s one of the reasons why they didn’t like him. They didn’t William Lane Craig and Sir Roger Penrose like him to the extent they actually had him crucified. I think the Bible is much more comfortable with being funny than we are, but the way we read the Bible in The Universe: How did it get here and why are we part of it? church makes it sound like a very serious, sacred book. Actually, there is an awful lot of comedy in it that we’ve pretty much airbrushed out or somehow overlooked. When the Bible is read really, really well or performed by an actor word for word, the most striking thing you notice is how funny it is. And yet somehow we’ve lost that tradition, which I think is a real shame. thebigconversation.show Unbelievable? Podcast You want to be mindful of those who feel that being light-hearted is disrespectful, but that isn’t the problem we’re facing at the moment. If anything, those of us within the church community should think about how we can be a bit more prepared to laugh at things and laugh at ourselves. We don’t want to laugh at God, but if we take the Bible seriously we will find the funny stuff in it. Because we’re so worried about offending people we’ve made our faith far more serious than it actually needs to be.

JAMES CARY is a church leader and author of The Sacred Art of Joking.

11 November Faith at Home on Premier Christian Radio Join us every Saturday at 8.30am

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TV makeover to transform church space into teen housing

She said: “Jesus says if you’ve got two buildings, or two coats, give one to somebody else. And that really spoke to us. And we thought, in real terms we don’t need the parish centre. It could be given over to a charity.” The project gained the interest of the BBC after Nightsafe shared that it would be partnering with a local church to help the homeless. Rev Sheelagh said the show’s producers were excited to feature the church’s commitment to social action. “The producers realised this is quite a unique product, and that the church is playing quite a strong role in it. They’ve really been quite encouraging to us to speak up and say this is as much a Chris- tian project as it is a settler’s project; it’s a meeting of communities.” Rev Sheelagh said that the media attention has helped to highlight the good news and has helped her connect with her local community more effectively. “The church is not just here for christenings and baptisms, and when you feel nostalgic at Christmas. We’re here 24 / 7. The A church building in Blackburn has been given a TV makeo- church does an incredible amount of volunteering work. We have ver. The Parish Rooms of St Silas’ Church in Blackburn have masses of resources that we can and do deploy freely to our local undergone a transformation as part of BBC programme DIY communities. It shows people on a large scale how the church SOS. The team, led by presenter Nick Knowles, has been can and is working in the 21st century to deal with 21st century working to create supportive living accommodation for 16 problems. to 18-year-olds. “I’ve met more people from my parish in the last week then I Local homeless charity Nightsafe, which receives funding have in the three years I’ve been here. So it’s about making that from Children in Need, was approached by the organisation relationship very real, very tangible.” about a potential DIY project in January. St Silas’ Church wanted Rev Sheelagh said that the project will give dignity and a sense to repurpose its parish rooms to better serve the local commu- of belonging to the teenagers they will be housing: “They’re nity and, having worked with the homeless charity in the past, going to know that people in their local community actually care decidedto offer the space to Nightsafe. about them; to know that the place that they’re living in has been Rev Sheelagh Aston, vicar at St Silas’, told Premier Youth and converted and put together by local people giving up their time.” Children’s Work they had been inspired by the Gospel of Luke to The transformation will be officially revealed in November as give the space to the work of Nightsafe. part of a special broadcast for Children in Need.

42 schools ditch Christian assemblies

A vicar has welcomed the news that an increasing number the context of a multifaith community. One shouldn’t feel of schools are opting out of Christian worship for school threatened as a Christian by having other faith systems or assemblies in favour of multifaith alternatives. indeed non-belief systems, like humanism, discussed in an Currently, all state-funded schools in England and Wales are educational context. Educators are there to teach our children legally required to hold a daily act of worship of a “broadly Chris- and young people about the world as it is, not about the world as tian nature”. we would like it to be.” It has been reported that 42 schools have successfully applied Of the 134 local authorities asked to respond to a freedom of to their local Standing Advisory Council on Religious Education information request from Schools Week, twelve had received (SACRE) board to opt out of this collective worship in the past three applications in the past three years from schools wanting to years, with many asking to hold multifaith assemblies instead. change their collective worship. Rev Steven Terry from the Accord Coalition for Inclusive Educa- Holbrook Primary School in Coventry was the only school tion told Premier Youth and Children's Work it is culturally inappro- among them to have opted for assemblies of no faith. Meanwhile, priate to require children of all faiths and none to adhere to this law. Plashet School in Newham was given permission to run a combi- “I think this is very welcome news. I only wish that more nation of alternative faith, multifaith and no faith elements each schools were doing it. We live in an increasingly diverse society, week. and to have a situation where we’re still required by law to offer Director of the Catholic Education Service Paul Barber told a daily act of worship of a broadly Christian character is, I think, Premier he believes a daily act of worship should be upheld within increasingly inappropriate given how many different cultures and schools: “Collective worship is really important in a well-rounded different faiths systems are now represented in our society today.” education. It’s important that the culture into which our pupils Rev Terry was optimistic that Christianity still had a presence in all schools are inculcated is something that has, as its basis, within schools, but went on to say that an exposure to different the shared culture of our country. And many of the values that we beliefs helps to provide a realistic and balanced education for have as a country come from our Christian heritage.” children. Paul went on to say that the Christian story is integral to a “We’re not taking Christianity out of the ‘schoolplace’. British education and stressed that its omission “is lacking some- By doing this, we’re certainly allotting it a proper place within thing and potentially failing our children”.

13 November News in brief

Each and every one of us Government urged to “transform childhood” The Children’s Society has raised concern over the well-be- may have done something ing of children who are raised in the UK. Responding to policies announced in the recent Queen’s Speech, chief that we’re not supposed to executive Mark Russell said: “Children and young people in this country are growing up in some of the hardest times in recent history. As child poverty grows and key support do. If you’re truly sorry, services disappear, young people are becoming increasingly less happy with how their lives are going. Fundamental I know I can speak for reform is needed to transform childhood, but this Queen’s speech fails to rise to the challenge.” myself, I forgive you, and I know if you go to God and New LST principal London School of Theology has appointed Rev Prof Mark J Cartledge as its new principal. Currently professor of ask him, he will forgive you. practical theology at Regent University School of Divinity in Virginia Beach, USA, he will take up the position on 1st January 2020. The appointment comes after Rev Dr Calvin Samuel stepped down from the role earlier this year after an internal investigation.

Youth workers take over convent A group of youth workers has taken over a convent in Norfolk. The aim is to turn All Hallows into a place of retreat for young people as well as to host a community that is committed to prayer for the youth of the nation. Justin Welby said the plans were “amongst some of the most exciting proposals I have heard since I have been archbishop”.

Youth Bible wins award The youth edition of the Good News Bible has been named Bible of the Year by Christian Resources Together. Created by Youth for Christ in partnership with Bible Society, the new edition brings the Bible to life for young people, allowing them to engage with God’s word in creative, thought-provoking, active and visual ways. The remarkable 18-year-old

Brandt Jean speaking Kindness peaks at age 11 A new report suggests that our levels of kindness diminish in a Dallas courtroom, as we get older, having peaked at the age of 11. Becoming more aware of social norms, acting less on instinct and being where he hugged the woman preoccupied with phones were among the top reasons for us ‘losing’ our kindness. Child psychologist Dr Richard Woolf- son said: “Children are innately more kind than adults. That’s who killed his brother, why babies cry when they hear the stressed cries of another baby, and that's why your toddler comforts his tearful friend, telling her he didn’t even perhaps by giving him a cuddly toy to ease his unhappiness. The challenge for parents is to encourage and develop that want her to go to prison. instinctive altruism as children grow older.”

November 14 YCW investigates

Working conditions

than two years (rising to 53 per cent for less than three years), with just 8 per cent having been in their role for more than ten years. With common consensus suggesting that it takes at least three years to develop a ministry in children’s, families’ or youth work, something is stopping staff from committing.

Line management Not only are workers missing out on regular one-to-one meetings or supervision, but line managers are often managing them without any relevant qualifications. Three-quarters of respondents said their manager had not received any training with regard to managing staff. All Church of England clergy are required to have training when taking on a curate, but this isn’t a requirement for other members of staff.

Pay and benefits Are you fed up at work? Do you think you should be paid It’s worth saying that not everyone is getting a raw deal. One more? How long has it been since you had a meeting with respondent claimed to receive a yearly salary of £37,000. But that your line manager? Do you feel valued? seems to be the exception to the rule, with others being paid less Maybe these aren’t big issues for you, but a new survey has than half of this. Church of England clergy receive a salary as well outlined some troubling statistics for those working in this field. as accommodation and other benefits, but just 4 per cent of those A total of 637 people took part in the Terms and Conditions of taking part in the survey were given the same deal. Salaried Workers survey, which was conducted earlier this year by youth and children’s ministry consultant Ali Campbell. Recognition Looking to identify the major concerns for those working in A worrying 71 per cent said their role was not formally recognised children’s, families’ or youth ministry, it found that more than by a diocese or other senior body within a church denomination. half of workers have been in their current jobs for less than three This means that the majority do not receive any significant years. Around 40 per cent only have monthly meetings with a line investment as workers. It also means they are unlikely to have manager, with a further 30 per cent meeting even less frequently. been commissioned to go about their work. According to the survey, there is a significant discrepancy in Despite these three issues, most staff would like to commit wages for those doing the same job, with some youth workers for the long term, with 74 per cent saying they wanted to remain being paid as little as £16,000. The findings have prompted in their profession until they retire. Reasons given included concerns that a long-term career in ministry is not sustainable “It’s what I’m called to do” and “It’s what I’ve been put on Earth for many people. to do”, suggesting the calling is much more important than the conditions under which they are working. Responding to the findings, Ali Campbell said: “The survey clearly underlines that the Church needs to recognise these ministry roles as potentially lifelong callings, which are respected We need to work harder, and and treasured. It needs to address how this work can receive the find ways to recognise and value profile and value it deserves beyond the local church. “Most of those surveyed said they would stay in the role until those undertaking this ministry retirement if they could, and showed that despite the lack of stability, these salaried workers have a huge commitment to children and young people, a love for the work and a desire to stay in Addressing the findings, the Bishop of Leicester Rt Rev ministry for the long haul. Martyn Snow, who is the Church of England’s lead bishop for lay “These workers are very diverse and many are highly trained: ministry, said: “Many of us have known for some time that there qualified teachers, those with education and theology degrees, is a recruitment crisis for children and youth worker roles in the JNC-qualified youth workers and so on. All the more reason to Church of England. This survey makes it clear that we need to value them more.” work harder, and find ways to recognise and value those under- The Church of England has committed to using this research taking this ministry, which is so vital to the future of the Church. to bring about change in this area. A newly formed Lay Minis- “Children’s and youth work is a critical part of the ministry tries Advisory Group will look at ways of increasing the number of the Church. We will certainly be studying the findings of this of people training for this line of work, exploring how to better research and hoping to increase the number of salaried workers support them and encourage best practice across all churches. who feel valued and able to remain in this vocation.” This is a great starting point, but there is still some way to go. If children’s and youth work is a critical part of the ministry of the Church, as Bishop Snow suggests, how is the Church getting it so wrong? The survey suggests that staff turnover is a real prob- MARCUS JONES lem. One in three respondents said they had been in post for less is Premier Youth and Children's Work's news editor.

15 November Reviews

STAY IT’S FINE, DEFINITELY THIS IS CLEAR I GUESS RECOMMENDED THE BEST

THE MAN YOU’RE MADE TO BE Martin Saunders

Real men don’t cry. Neither do they Martin is an outstanding writer. He is witty and wise. He read books or wear pink. Instead, gets to the point quickly and doesn’t waffle (unless it’s for comic they drink beer and watch lots and effect). He covers all the important subjects you’d expect him lots of football. to (sex, temptation and character), and a few you may not have Despite recent progress, gender expected (materialism, emotions and technology). stereotyping of the above kind remains While coming from a Christian worldview (an early chapter present in our world. As a man with zero focuses on how Jesus is the ultimate role model for any young interest in most sports, I’m all too aware man), the book also has an evangelistic edge to it. Martin is of this. No one ever says: “Do you support conscious of readers who may not share his faith, and addresses a football team?” It’s always: “Who do them in reassuring tones at various points. While it’s most you support?” suitable for Christian young men, you could share this book with As Martin Saunders explains in this a non-believer without inwardly cringing (and God knows we outstanding book, lazy stereotyping need more books like that). hurts all of us: men and women alike. But what’s refreshing This helpful, biblical take on all the biggest issues facing young about The Man You’re Made to Be is that this isn’t some sort of men today is a gift to the UK Church. right-on, overly politically correct tirade. Martin knows that some things (such as ‘men are into football’) are generally true, and he isn’t afraid to state as much. His mission isn’t to moan, it’s to liberate men from the (often subtle) guilt that can be felt SAM HAILES when we don’t fit a certain cultural mould. is editor of Premier Christianity magazine and a leader in his local church.

THE PILGRIM’S PROGRESS FILM Revelation Media (USA)

I sat down to watch situations, yet we are absolutely free to choose whether or not to this with my girls follow his way. (aged 6 and 10) and The animation is well done. It looks a little dark and grimy we were absolutely to start with, but on reflection this demonstrates a life without enthralled. I had God. As the film progresses the colours and mood lighten. My no idea what to 6-year-old asked questions the whole way through. She was expect as I haven’t fully engaged with the story and relationships between the read the book, characters. And my 10-year-old gave an excellent synopsis of the but for something that was written 350 years ago it spoke plot at the end. profoundly to us all. This film provides an excellent basis for conversations about In this new adaptation of John Bunyan’s book, a man named a life of following Jesus. It covers temptation, disappointment, Christian leaves his hometown and everyone he loves to find God. persecution, the Holy Spirit, friendship and heaven. It’s well He has discovered the Bible, is convinced of his sin and feels the worth a watch, and is something I can see us settling down to need to go on this journey to be released from the burden of his watch again and again. sin. Along the way he meets several people who come alongside and encourage him. He is told to stick to the straight path, looking neither to the left nor the right. Every time he gets distracted from the path trouble comes, but every time he asks for help he GEN RYLETT receives it. It demonstrates beautifully how God is with us in all is a volunteer children’s worker and mother of four.

November 16 SPARKLE. POP. RAMPAGE. Rend Co

Rend Collective’s debut kids’ album influence to be included in my own children’s repertoire. opens with a pop sound that rivals Certain elements feel a little cringey, such as the line “living that of the Disney channel. Their 2014 our best life”, and the slightly self-indulgent ‘Rend Co. kids song ‘My lighthouse’ is often used as a theme song’. Despite its flaws, this record may be one for the children’s action song, but this is the family car, as many of the tracks can be enjoyed by adults (it’s band’s first deliberate foray into the not as painfully cheesy as other children’s CDs). world of children’s worship music. Ultimately, Rend’s first attempt at a children’s album doesn’t The kitschy country tones on match the quality of other songwriters in this genre, such as Sparkle. Pop. Rampage. will be familiar to Rend fans. Lyrically, Chip Kendall, Nick and Becky Drake and Duggie Dug Dug. But this release is surprisingly complex, suggesting that its target let’s face it, none of these songs were ever going to compete with audience is older children and tweens. It also features tracks ‘Great big God’: the greatest children’s worship song of all time. that will appeal to adults as much as children. I’d genuinely listen to ‘Need to know you’ in my spare time. The standout song, and one to bank for Easter services, is ‘Story of the cross’. ‘King of me’ has a nostalgic quality, EMILY HOWARTH reminiscent of the children’s work classic ‘Who’s the king of the is a project manager at Home for Good and a children’s work volunteer at jungle?’ But some of the tracks don’t quite carry enough biblical her local church.

A-Z OF PRAYER Matthew Porter

I have always been a little unsure of A-Z have been praying for many years. books, as they can feel a bit like squeezing There are many books on prayer, but this is a good, compact, certain topics in to fill awkward letters. This easy read that is designed to be left on the coffee table and read is Matthew Porter’s second A-Z book, after slowly, covering a chapter a day. It is light yet challenging, and if A-Z of Discipleship, in which he follows the engaged with fully it will improve your prayer life. same pattern in order to help readers in The A-Z of Prayer is a very practical book with action points their daily lives. ending each chapter, and it has encouraged me personally. I would This book provides 26 topics on the subject recommend it as a great place to find ideas to reinvigorate your of prayer. It didn’t feel awkward at all, even when shoehorning prayer life or as a starter for those wanting to know how to pray. ‘eXamen’ into the ‘X’ chapter. It is written simply and effectively, with opportunities for the reader to put into practice what they have discovered. There are some real gems within the pages of this book for those who are just starting out in their conversa- ANDY KING tions with God, along with some inspiring ideas for those who is area director at Young Life International in Hertford.

THE LITTLE WORSHIP COMPANY Wonderborn Studios

Targeted at 0 to 7-year-old course, including a curriculum book, a box set of 32 lesson plans children and their grown-ups, and a DVD. Each session can be adapted for a Sunday school The Little Worship Company is a setting, assemblies, Messy Church or even a toddler group. This world of resources to help adults is such a win, as a single £140 purchase could set you up for a and children discover more of God together. year of activities in all your different settings. There is a Bible curriculum for church groups, a devotional I also love the idea that what you’re doing on a Sunday or in a book for the whole family to engage with at home and an app full toddler group can be continued at home using the same themes. of Bible verses, stories, games and more to be used on the go. The family resources are very reasonably priced and comple- The whole setup is produced to an excellent standard, from ment the church curriculum perfectly. With the app alongside the beautifully filmed music videos and child-friendly Bible this, further enhancing all that is being taught, you are bringing quotes to the family devotional; jam-packed with thoughtful a consistency to the children’s lives that can help them grow and reflections, craft ideas, discussion starters and prayers. The form their own faith. vision is for it to become the CBeebies of the Christian market, something that can be seen from the production levels and from the child-friendly fun factor running through each product. The thing I really appreciate about the resources is their KATIE O’CONOR versatility. The curriculum is incredible, offering a 32-week is children’s ministry support worker for the Diocese of London.

17 November Q&A

me I’d put it in the God box. I would open it up a few months later, and what amazed me is that they were answered, but never in the way I expected. You just never quite know how God’s going to work things Francine out. I started thinking: “A child who’s going through a traumatic experience – if the father’s been sent to prison and the Rivers mother’s having difficulty because she’s trying to work and having to leave the child Francine Rivers is a multi-award- alone – what’s that child going to put in that box?” And that’s the story: the precious winning author. She spoke to things he puts in that box, which he carries Ruth Jackson about coming back everywhere with him, but then he’s willing to give it up to the Lord. to church through the influence The other book I wrote with my daugh- of a child, the art of storytelling ter. Her children were fairly small at the time, and I thought a family devotional and how to cover difficult topics would be kind of fun. We teamed up on with young people it. I wrote the story and she worked on the materials to go along with it that the family could work on together. I loved it. For her it was excruciating!

Ruth Jackson: What was your experi- RJ: Are there any stories in the Bible you ence of God growing up? think would be inappropriate or unhelp- Francine Rivers: My parents were ful to share with children? Take Noah, for believers and I attended church. They example… were very involved – my mum was a FR: It depends how you present it. Many deaconess and my dad was an elder – but young women read Redeeming Love. I Stories are I saw a lot of infighting in the church. didn't realise when I was writing it that it There was a split, and when I left home has a great deal to do with sex-trafficking always a way for college I left God, because I didn’t survivors and child abuse. I was looking at want any part in being a Christian if it more as an allegory about my journey to that's how they behaved…very judgmen- Christ, and how I was looking everywhere to capture tal. As a child, my parents made sure else except to God. I’d heard the gospel I had a chance to go to church camp from the time I was a young child, but children and we prayed before meals. I believed there was something about the story of I was saved fairly young, but there’s a Hosea that really got through to me of difference between being saved and how much God loves us. surrendering your life, and letting God be I think you probably have to tell the Lord of your life. That's when I think the story. Tell it in a gentle form, and then RJ: Do you find writing for children more change really comes. as they get older you bring in the details difficult? and explain what was going on, because FR: Absolutely. It’s hard to not add things RJ: What triggered that change? there are reasons behind everything. God that are going to be difficult for them to FR: A lot of dysfunction. I acted out doesn’t arbitrarily wipe out a planet. understand; concepts that are beyond in college, then when Rick and I got their understanding. I know an example married he was a marine in Vietnam, so RJ: Did you specifically aim your books at right now is gender identity. A friend of he had a lot of issues. We tried churches, young people? mine overheard a conversation where a but they were not teaching the gospel, FR: No. I think that’s just a blessing. Some man was saying that his 8-year-old daugh- really. They were more politically of the characters are young, so I think ter wants to be a boy. I remember wanting inclined. We moved to northern Califor- maybe that appeals. to be a boy when I was 8. The boys looked nia and God put us between two Chris- like they were having more fun! But this tian families, and it was actually a little RJ: You've written two children's books. man was going to give his daughter drugs boy – about 8 years old – who came over Where did they come from? to make her a boy so that he could honour and said: “Have I got a church for you!” FR: For The Shoe Box I was asked to write her gender identity. It made me think. I started going but couldn’t get Rick to a children’s story for Angel Tree [part of Children don’t even know what gender go. So I asked the pastor if he’d be willing Prison Fellowship]. I had never written a is at the age of 8, so we need to be careful to do a home Bible study. He said: “If it’s children’s story, and I said: “I don’t know if what information we’re giving to children, all right with your husband I’d love to.” I can even do that!” But what kept coming what we’re doing to children, because And Rick said: “Sure. Fine.” So we were up for me was that I used to have a God box, they’re not thinking along that line at all baptised in 1986 on the same day. and whenever I had a question or a prayer but the adults are overlaying their adult or some issue that was really bothering concepts onto a child.

November 18 Q&A

It’s better to show faith in the way you live than to talk about it

RJ: You write about quite a lot of gritty they leave home. A lot of Sunday school RJ: Do you talk about faith with your subjects. Do you think that’s something in America seems to be entertainment – children and grandchildren? we shouldn’t shy away from with young fast and visual – so those children grow FR: With my parents’ generation you people? up expecting church to be the same way. didn’t discuss religion. It was impolite to FR: I think there are a lot of children who They don’t realise there’s a lot more to bring that into the conversation. It was are dealing with major issues now. In The worship than just being entertained and very private. That’s a lie from the devil; Last Sin Eater the girl is 12 and is trying having it be all about them. It's deeper faith is meant to be shared. It’s the most to find somebody to take away her sins than that. So I would encourage people important thing! The most interesting because she’s done something horren- to have their children with them. Let thing to talk about is faith. dous. There are so many children going them be a part of their worship. Let them Grandparents have a unique role to through difficult situations, and we need hear the music, and let them see and hear play in children’s lives. You don’t have to to be able to talk to them about that. what's being said. be the disciplinary, and you can just love At our church we have hardly any park- them – spoil them! – and hand them back RJ: How do you think we can capture the ing, but we are right across the street from to their parents! I think you really have imagination of children? an elementary school. They offer Bible opportunities to show your faith to the FR: I think stories are always a way to release time, where the kids are released kids. It’s better to show it in the way you capture children. It’s the way to capture from school to come have lessons in the live than to talk about it, because a lot of adults, too. Story is powerful. Jesus used church about Jesus and Christianity. They times they don’t talk but they’re watching. stories with the parables. It was to kind started with ten kids and they’re up to 25. They’re always watching. of close the eyes of some, but the ones And now we’re noticing those kids want who wanted to know more and wanted to to come back on Sunday morning to hear RJ: If you could give your teenage self any understand would come to him and ask, more, and they're bringing their parents. advice, what would it be? and then he would explain. I think we tend to go into our buildings FR: I wish I had been a strong Christian and close the doors because we don’t when I first had children, because I would RJ: If you could share the gospel in a want to be contaminated by the world. have been a different kind of mum. I nutshell for a young person, how would We need to get out into the world and remember my daughter saying that they you do it? take the message to them. We need to be saw the really rough years we had where FR: Oh man, I don’t know! I wouldn’t involved in our communities and let them we were fighting a lot. Then they saw us dumb it down. I think I would just get to know us, and then we’ll have the come to Christ, and they saw the differ- talk about Jesus and how he came to opportunity to talk about Christ. ence it made in our relationship and how save us, and explain that we all have a we work together. We’re going on 50 years sinful nature and maybe explain or ask RJ: Whose responsibility is it to disciple of marriage now! questions. I think questions help. Have children and young people? When we moved to Sebastopol, so you ever told a lie? Have you ever taken FR: The pastor preaches, but really many of our daughter’s classmates were anything that didn’t belong to you? Then the people who grow a church are the from blended, broken or single-parent we’re law-breakers. We’re all that way and parishioners. The pastor may draw some families. That impacts the children. It there’s a cost to that, and that’s why Jesus people, but it’s the people going out to impacts society. We have a lot of broken, came: to pay that cost. That would be hard their neighbours and saying: “We’d love confused, hurting people. We ought to when thinking about tiny children, but to have you come to church.” It's the be ministering to them, but the least little children understand a lot more than personal relationships that develop, and comfortable thing for them to do is we realise, and I've heard so many stories I think that’s the same way it’s going to to walk through the doors of a church of young children coming to Christ. have to be with this generation: to get because it looks strange to them, and it to know them and respect who they are, looks like a club. Of course, a lot of people RJ: How do we welcome children into and meet them on their terms and tell treat it like a club: I paid my dues; I want church and ensure that they remain them about another way of life. Because it my way; I want to tell you how to run engaged in their faith? we have a really wonderful thing here, the service. It’s not that at all. It’s about FR: We’re trying to figure that out in and I think they’re searching. And I think reaching the lost. So we need to figure out our church right now. I’ve heard of they’re critical thinkers. They’re going to a way to welcome them from the outside studies which suggest that the children want to hear about it. When you engage and draw them in rather than waiting for who worship with their parents – who young people in conversation they have them to come through the doors. sit with parents and hear the whole a lot to say, and I think they’re changing service – tend to stay in church when the culture.

19 November November 20 ello. My name’s Alex, I’m a man and I’m involved in children’s work.” That’s not a sentence you hear very often (and not just because Alex “Hisn’t all that popular a name). A quick glance at children’s ministry teams up and down the country would show that there are very few men serving, discipling and reaching out to children and their families. Go to a youth worker conference, and you’ll see a good gender mix. But attend any children’s worker event and the ratio could be anything up to 90 per cent female. Premier Childrenswork (RIP) featured an article on this subject back in 2013, and it seems little has changed in the intervening years. That article quoted children’s work expert Nick Harding’s research on the subject, which suggested that 25 per cent of children’s leaders were male, with numbers falling to just six per cent for those working with under-5s. This lack of men in children’s work reflects wider issues. Firstly, there are fewer men than women in church, so there are fewer men available to volunteer. However, the disparity in children’s work is far greater than the general Church gender gap. More broadly, in society as a whole, there are very few men working in preschool or primary education, whereas secondary schools have a much better gender balance. Government statistics in 2016 showed that 38 per cent of secondary teachers were male, but that figure dropped to 15 per cent in primary schools. Just two per cent of the early- years education workforce consists of men. So why don’t men volunteer for children’s work? Why is this area of ministry so female-dominated?

The status of children’s work There seems to be an ingrained hierarchy of ministry in many churches. Ministry with adults is at the top. This is the ministry to which everyone should aspire and work toward. Under that comes youth work, and beneath that working with children. Bottom of the heap, under-resourced and recognised as important but not well liked, this ministry should neither be seen nor heard. I’m exaggerating for effect, obviously. There are many churches out there with amazing children’s work; churches that care for and value ministry with children and families. But at the same time there are many churches where the leadership mere- The Church often ly tolerates children’s work. Only this week I met a children’s reflects attitudes worker who gets into trouble if the minister hears the children making noise during the adult service. Time and again I talk of male privilege with children’s leaders who have to do children’s work in difficult circumstances: in rooms that are too small with budgets that are and opportunity insufficient and support that is half-hearted. This leads me on to the first of my suggestions as to why there are so few men in children’s work: many feel that it doesn’t offer a high enough status for them to be part of. Whether consciously or subconsciously, some men reject children’s work because little recognition is given and barely any status is afforded to children’s workers. Youth work attracts more men, but even that is often seen as a stepping stone to ‘real’ ministry: the ministry of leading a church (which usually equates to working with adults). Youth workers are often asked: “When are you going to get involved in real ministry?” Much of this is cultural. Centuries of male dominance in society has led men to look for the top roles and to expect positions of influence. Men are told they can do anything, and there are very few obstacles in the way to stop them achieving what they want. This breeds a confidence that they can take the top roles. On the other hand, women are restricted by entrenched opinions of what they can and can’t do. Admittedly, this is an incredibly simplistic description of the complex issues at play. If you’d like to discover more, a few hours of research on this subject would be very rewarding. The Church often reflects these attitudes of male privilege and opportunity. Men gravitate toward the roles that offer a higher status, while women are left with the ministries that are seen as supportive or supplementary. However, according to research carried out by ComRes for the Church of England in 2017, the overwhelming majority of Christians come to Christ before the age of 18. If you’re looking for ‘results’ in terms of numbers, children’s work brings more than ten times the number of people into church than working with those over the age of 18. Our view of where we focus our ministry and resources should be flipped upside-down. Chil- dren’s work should be the most important thing we do.

21 November Gender roles Viewed with suspicion Linked to the concept of status is the idea that some men (and Statistics generated by the numerous child abuse studies vary, some women, too) see ministry with children as women’s work. but it is true that the vast majority of perpetrators are male Traditional gender roles persist in many churches, and address- (figures range from 80 to 95 per cent). And this prompts a suspi- ing these issues would take up more space than I have here (and cion of men who volunteer to be involved in children’s work, more knowledge and experience than I have). There are some leading to the loaded question: “Why do you want to work with great thinkers doing great theological work at the moment, so if children?” Faced with such a question and suspicious attitudes, this is something you’d like to explore more I would urge you to this may be why men back off. look up people like @godloveswomen on Twitter. Although the majority of abusers are male, the reverse is not There is often an assumption that women are better at nurtur- true: the majority of men are not abusers. Yet it seems that some ing children than men, and that this means women are better in the Church still believe this. I spoke with one children’s worker suited to children’s work. There is very little evidence to support earlier this year whose church had a policy that two men were this, however, and Carolyn Edwards, children and youth adviser not allowed to run a children’s session without a woman being for the Diocese of York, believes the differences are cultural: present. Maybe the churches in this example thought the men “Because we assume that women are better at nurturing they would cover for each other. Perhaps they believed the presence of become better at nurturing, and because we assume that men a woman would prevent abuse from taking place; abuse that this aren’t nurturers they don’t fight for the right to do it, or they lose practice implied would be inevitable if men were left in charge of the ability.” In short, because women do more of the nurturing children on their own. they become better at it, while men become deskilled. While it’s fair to say that this example is probably fairly isolated, the underlying suspicion still exists. This is fed by our constant access to news; access that is unprecedented in our lifetime. Stories of abuse are recycled every half-hour on news stations. They are dwelt on and picked apart on news and opinion websites. Seeing someone who is In short, the narrative of men as abusers is regularly in our view. However, if we follow best practice in safeguarding and like you performing a role – recruitment for volunteers of any gender we can build a balanced team of trusted individuals who are called to work with children, and excelling in it – can be and not just because they are considered a safer gender.

incredibly empowering What message are we sending? Having such a gender imbalance within children’s work teams reinforces these ingrained attitudes in the minds of the children. The comparatively low status involved in children’s work If they grow in their faith into adulthood they are likely to retain and the views on male and female roles in church may put those the same opinion. Children’s work is done by the women while running children’s work off asking men directly to get involved. the men do the important adult stuff. Does the assumption that men wouldn’t want to be involved This generational reiteration of such attitudes merely perpetu- subconsciously prevent us from asking them? There are probably ates the issue. People will most likely reproduce what they see being men in our congregations who would be brilliant children’s lead- done because ‘that’s the way these things happen’. Children who ers but they have never been asked to consider it, so they may not grow up and remain part of the Church into adulthood will more have realised that the skills and gifts they have make them ideally than likely share those same ideas, just as the current lack of men suited to working with children. in primary education will contribute to a lack of men in the future.

November 22 Children’s work should be the most important thing we do

Role models We need genuine role models in all areas of church life so children see that they can volunteer and get involved anywhere God is calling them, not just to the roles that have tradition- ally been performed by their gender. This means having men involved in children’s work, but also having more women involved in areas where they are currently under-represented. I think we can underplay the importance of representation. Seeing someone who is like you performing a role – and excelling in it – can be incredibly empowering. So for a girl to see a women preaching or a boy to see a man leading a toddler group breaks norms that might have grown up out of years of tradition and ‘the way things are done’. And that’s not to say that role models can only take the form of those who share the same gender as us. I was struck by the fact that when Doctor Who announced that the Doctor was to be played by a woman, how many people (mainly men) complained that their sons had lost a role model. Even taking into account the idea of representation, we can’t say that Jodie Whittaker isn’t a role model for boys as well as girls. Having men and women leading in our children’s work provides a whole range of role models for children to learn from; not only in terms of faith development, but also in terms of Christian community, serving, equality and care.

Ways forward So, what can we do to attract more men to children’s work? Here are some pointers to think through in your church:

• Value children’s ministry as a church. Speak with your leadership team about how they value the children’s work. Have a vision for children’s work and get buy-in from the different parts of your church community (rather than just doing children’s work because it needs to be done). Regularly pray for the children’s work team, and make sure you do this with the whole church community, not just in prayer meetings. If everyone in the congregation sees this ministry as one that is valued, this will raise it up in their own minds. And if you can, get the church leadership to volunteer in a children’s group! • Have robust safeguarding procedures in place. This will enable men to feel safe when working with children and help parents overcome any underlying suspicion of men who volunteer to do children’s work. Get in touch with thirtyone:eight (thirtyoneeight.org) for help and advice on creating and maintaining a safeguarding policy. • Ask men to volunteer. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. We could be missing out on some of the best children’s workers in our churches because of our own assumptions about whether men would want to be involved in helping with the toddler group, leading a Sunday morning session or volunteering at an after-school club.

ALEX TAYLOR is resources editor for Premier Youth and Children’s Work.

23 November Taking up a new habit

November 24 We’re done with doing stuff to young people, or creating things for young people. Everything here is going to be done with young people

id you hear the one about the youth workers who took The pitch over a convent? Let me tell you a story. All over the coun- We had to outline our vision, create business plans and carry D try there are beautiful, historical, prayer-soaked buildings out risk assessments…all the things we hate about youth work! that have housed religious communities for untold years. One And then we were put through various stages until eventually we such site, All Hallows, is located in the tiny Norfolk village of ended up in what can only be described as a Dragon’s Den-style Ditchingham. The place has this amazing heritage. All Hallows room pitching our idea to a bishop, two nuns and various other has been home to a life of prayer, community and service for a interested parties. The only thing missing was the giant stacks of century and a half. The sisters have started work programmes, a cash beside their seats. school, a hospital and much more. And interestingly, working with We pitched our idea, made small talk with the other finalists young people has always been central to what has gone on there. and waited by the side of the conference centre’s outdoor swimming pool. One of us said we would jump in if we won. We were The idea all eventually told we could leave and that the verdict would Over the last 15 years or so, due to the dwindling number of come soon. The swimming pool was safe. sisters, the site has become too big for its inhabitants and certain On the way home we received a phone call saying we had won. parts have been given away to accommodate a Christian confer- There was screaming and tears were almost shed. And then along ence centre and a project that works with homeless people. What came a realisation. This fun project we’d been doing in our spare remained was a 30-bedroomed convent house, a massive chapel time with no real thought that it could amount to anything was and three other detached houses. about to take over our lives. Twelve months or so later and it has, So a couple of years ago the remaining sisters came to an but in all the right ways. In fact, it’s been quite an odd year. We’ve incredibly brave and generous decision. They would give the rest quit jobs, received endorsements from archbishops, schmoozed of the site away and continue to build a life of community togeth- with funding partners about supercars, found priceless bits of er elsewhere. They launched a kind of competition, searching for Church history and abandoned mobility scooters around the someone with a vision for the future of this site. Plenty of people site, laughed at dirty jokes with a monk and taken ownership of a sent in ideas…and we – a group of youth workers with a simple tractor known as ‘Big Red’. idea – were among them. We planned to carry on the work of All Hallows, reimagining community, prayer and service with young people at the heart of it.

25 November The future This isn’t going to be an overnight thing. A lot of work needs to be done to the site; nothing major, but enough to make it a safe, welcoming space for young people. We also need to figure out the dynamics of the community and rule of life we’re inviting people into. With this in mind, we want to welcome the community on site from September 2020, and we’re going to open the doors to young people from January 2021. I guess the question you may well be asking is…why? How, with all that is thrown at young people – with all they’re facing, with the new and complex needs we’re barely able to understand – is a rural convent in the middle of nowhere the answer? Well, the first way to answer that is, we don’t think this isthe answer, but we do wonder if it might be an answer. The truth is, as Andrew Root and Kenda Creasy Dean told us years ago, a The vision ‘technological’ solution is not what youth ministry needs. (The But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, so let’s go back to the vision. technology alluded to in this idea isn’t about some kind of digital We want to create a space where young people can pray. A space for innovation, but about the search for a ‘silver bullet’: the resource, those who care about young people to pray for and with them. We idea or programme that will sort everything out.) want to create a community of people who are committed to living Instead, our approach is theological. We believe in a God who a life of prayer for young people – some living in this mad convent is with his people. And we believe that, in turn, we are called to we’ve been given, but others dispersed around the country. We be with one another. To be with the world in which we live and to want to create a retreat space that is specifically for and tailored be with ourselves. It’s perhaps that last bit that feels most difficult to those who work with young people. We want to create a retreat in our saturated lives. The idea of being with ourselves – without centre for young people to come away to and pray. To engage in others, without distractions, without Netflix or coffee shops or spiritual practices, digital detoxes, time with nature, time with each Instagram – isn’t just a problem for young people. It has become other and time with God. We want to create a way for young people part of the human condition. Perhaps because we never have to to continue that journey with Jesus after they leave. be alone with ourselves we no longer have the ability to, and so silence and contemplation feels more alien than ever before. Unfortunately, there is no flashy answer to this other than discipline, and an ongoing commitment to ‘be with’. The life and experience we’re trying to create at With comes down to a Perhaps because we never have daily choice. We love what Archbishop Justin Welby says: “All to be alone with ourselves we no the evidence that I have seen indicates there is no renewal in the Church apart from a renewal of the religious life.” We’re not sure longer have the ability to, and so there’s anything ‘magical’ that happens within the religious life, silence and contemplation feels but there is something special in intentionally taking time out to be with God, with others and with yourself. more alien than ever before For some of us this might look like some kind of ongoing rule of life. For others it might be a commitment to building a rhythm of retreat into our work and daily lives. It might be about empty- The word ‘with’ has become really important to us. It encap- ing out some of the noise in our ministries in order to create a bit sulates a lot of what we’re about. Let’s be blunt. We’re done with more space. We’re not saying a convent in Norfolk is the only way doing stuff to young people or creating things for young people. to be ‘with’, but we do know that this is what we’re going to do. Everything that happens on site at All Hallows is going to be done with young people. So that’s who we are. We are With. We’re a bit over the idea of doing stufffor young people, but for So here’s what we’re going to do: those of us involved, with more than five decades’ worth of collective youth work experience, it’s a bit wider than that. We’re aware • WITH Community. A body of Christians living on site and of the shortages in our own discipleship, of our need for space to beyond, dedicated to a rule of life and prayer with a shared be with, and how this is so often the first thing to get deleted from commitment to serve young people. our to-do lists when stuff gets busy. We’re aware how bad we are • WITH Retreat. A retreat centre facilitated by the community, at intentionally praying for our own young people, and at realis- where young people and those who work with them will come ing that is much more important than coming up with the perfect for single and multi-day retreats to receive spiritual nourish- icebreaker. And if this is just us, then, oh boy, this is an awkward ment, explore their relationship with God in engaging and confession. But we’ve been around the youth work world long creative ways, and improve their physical and mental well-being. enough to know that this absolutely isn’t the case. We’re not They will learn new skills and reclaim old ones that will enable trying to guilt people, but rather to share some of the tools that them to continue in their life of faith for years to come. might help put prayer and being with ourselves, others and God • WITH Online. An online reflection of the rule of life in the at the heart of all that we do and all that we are. form of an app, which will connect the physical ‘With community’ with a wider digital community, enabling those who have been on retreats, and those who aren’t able to be present at the JAMIE CUTTERIDGE site, to follow the With prayer rhythms remotely. is With’s director and project manager. Visit bewith.community.

November 26 Children's work column

THAT'S (NOT) THE WAY TO DO IT

Not long after I moved to England I While every person in the room had of the year. But lots of local parents was invited to a church pantomime by the best time ever, I quietly tried to bring their children to our least one of my work friends. I lived in west decode the situation and anticipate the child-friendly service of the entire year: London and she lived in Surrey, so I next group song or response. The feeling Carols by Candlelight. So what can we grabbed the nappy bag and pushchair of discomfort I’d had at the beginning and do to welcome these families, from and got the bus, tube and train to that grew steadily as everyone joined in the youngest to the oldest, to all of our unknown territory. without me. The kind man sitting next to services? What do we do to include the I had never been to a pantomime, but me must have noticed, as he opened his littlest members of these families? Do I assumed I’d be attending some sort programme and shared it with me. All of we reassure new parents that babies of Nativity play at a church. There was a sudden I could make sense of what was are welcome or do we frown when they already a sizeable crowd gathered in the happening, and I had a fun time. cry? Do we bend down to speak to the church’s main area when I arrived. A breakaway toddler when she runs to the woman took our tickets and offered us a front? Do we allow them a little space to programme for £1. I declined. worship God in their own way, perhaps Although I had grown up going to While every person dancing, running and moving? church, I was a little uncomfortable in this What about the slightly older, slightly new church. I didn’t know where to sit as I in the room had more sensible children? Do we let them didn’t know anyone except the leading lady, the best time ever, know what will be happening during the and judging by the fairy-tale set this was not service? Are there pictures of the Bible going to be your average Nativity play. I quietly tried to story to colour in? Can they see other We took some of the last remaining children their age serving in the church by seats beside a group of adults with decode the situation singing in the choir, carrying the cross or learning disabilities. As we waited for the helping the leader? show to begin, the man sitting next to me As the Christmas holidays approach, It's especially hard for young people to struck up a conversation, chatting gently many families are preparing themselves come to a place where they feel uncom- to my baby and telling me how excited he to step into church again, bringing babies, fortable. Are you comfortable going up to was to be at the pantomime. children and young people with them. them and shaking hands before or after I don’t remember much about the Their experience could very easily parallel the service? Are there any opportunities pantomime itself, but I remember enjoy- my panto experience, feeling as though to see or meet other people their age? Is ing it until the whole audience suddenly they don’t belong o r feeling unsure about there a sofa they can sit on (because sofas burst into song together. I was quite how to act and unable to join in. and pizza are everything in youth work)? surprised! The tune was vaguely familiar, How are we ensuring that people You don’t have to take my suggestions but the words were all new, all different. feel comfortable and at home in our for including families on board, but it’s That was when I noticed that everyone churches? How do we help people leave worth having a think. Who do you hope was looking at the £1 programme I had with that good Christmassy feeling rather might come this Christmas, and how will declined to buy. than a “Phew! Thankfully that’s over you welcome them if they do? Then a stage character said some- now!” feeling? thing and the whole audience respond- Our church offers a wide variety ed: “He’s behind you!” in unison. Again, of child-friendly Christmas worship BRI L'HOSTIS I was surprised. opportunities and socials at this time is a children's worker in north-west London.

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Does safeguarding make you think of bureaucratic hoops you need to jump through? Does it conjure up nightmares of damaged children and young people? Or do you see it as a practical expression of God’s love by keeping them safe? Here’s how to turn a chore into a core part of your ministry.

Responding to allegations of abuse

The thought of having to deal with an • Do not push for information, as they Be balanced in your approach allegation of abuse or responding to a may have been threatened or bribed There is a danger of two possible extremes concern may fill you with anxiety. No not to tell. developing here. Adults may fear that they one who works with children wants to • Do not promise to keep the informa- are out of their depth and cannot cope deal with this, but most understand tion secret, explaining clearly and with such difficult issues. The tendency the necessity of doing the right thing gently that you may have to share what then is to draw back from the victim for all concerned, and especially the they are telling you with others, but of abuse and leave everything to the young person involved. This not only that this will be done on a need-to- professionals. By doing this the child may means responding appropriately know basis only. be denied the support, reassurance and when an allegation is made, but also • Explain what you intend to do, and continuity you could offer. supporting those involved throughout don’t delay in taking action. The other extreme is to dive straight any official investigation. • Ensure the immediate safety of the in without thinking things through and young person. trying to elicit details of their experienc- Stay focused es when this is best left to professionals Abuse – whether physical, emotional, with the appropriate training and sexual or neglect – is a serious crime and experience. Your role may be limited, can do lasting damage. For the sake of all particularly in the early stages while the involved, however, it is important to stay child protection investigation is ongoing. calm. Remember that the child concerned Emphasise However, you can still draw alongside is still a child even though they may have the young person as a supportive and had some very distressing and painful prayerful presence. experiences. Seeing the child holistically that they calls for great wisdom and sensitivity on Look after yourself the part of the adults around them. There have done the It can be emotionally draining for can be a desire to immediately react workers as they care for those who have instead of staying calm and remembering been abused, especially if they have to to ask open questions. right thing in listen calmly to things that may evoke Although they are natural reactions, strong feelings such as anger and disgust. shock, horror, anger, disgust and panic telling you Therefore, it is important that workers are not helpful to children, who won’t be look after themselves. Writing down able to understand what has happened to or sharing feelings and reactions with them. A calm acceptance, together with someone else, perhaps a line manager or a strong commitment to support that Write it down supervisor, can not only be therapeutic young person through whatever turbulent Remember to write down what the child but may also bring perspective to situa- times may lie ahead, is what caring has said, how you responded and the tions that are emotionally highly charged. adults should aim for. Your pre-existing circumstances in which the conversation Many organisations find it helpful to have relationship with the child will help, took place as soon as possible, preferably formal arrangements in place to ensure because no matter what has happened it within an hour, and include dates and that pastoral care and support is available means you can still be a caring friend. times. Sign, date and pass the report to to all workers. your safeguarding officer immediately so Listen well the matter can be dealt with promptly. It is important to remember to stay Churches should ensure that they have focused, to respond in the appropriate policies in place to set out the process of Support the child way and to practise self-care in order to responding to claims of abuse. Here are Children and young people who have ensure that you can be available to help some useful steps to help us listen effec- experienced abuse need a compassionate, children and young people in difficult tively to allegations made by children: caring response from all, particularly in situations. When the right steps are put in the days after a disclosure has been made place it helps to create a culture of safety • Show acceptance of what they say, to the authorities. They are likely to feel and security for everyone. however unlikely it seems. It is not nervous and fearful, though they may your place to make a judgement on also experience some relief that things what has happened, only to accept it are now out in the open. If they sense that from them and pass it on so that the those who interact with them – such as relevant authorities can investigate. leaders, helpers, counsellors or carers – Thirtyone:eight is an independent Christian • Emphasise that they have done the will listen non-judgementally and accept safeguarding charity. Call on 0303 003 1111 right thing in telling you and make it what they are saying, they are likely to for independent, professional and compas- clear that you are taking what they are confide further if necessary and may feel sionate support around safeguarding in your saying seriously. able to share difficult feelings. organisation: thirtyoneeight.org.

November 30 Case study

C hil d’s play

A few years ago I did a degree in children to do, she’s just so anxious.” I said: “Go and then when they go home and start playing and family work with practical theology get a game and play it.” And they did. They they will make those same connections. at the Institute for Children, Youth and played card games, and then they rang the During a placement with non-Christian Mission (CYM). Alongside the degree, next morning. It worked, because there’s teenagers I did a little experiment with children’s workers do something called a something otherworldly about play. There’s playdough just to see what would happen. professional play-work portfolio. something transcendent. There’s something Now, normally we put the playdough away There are two main principles for adults that takes you out of where you are and once our children hit 5, don’t we? But the 11 to be aware of when they’re engaged in play- takes you somewhere different. to 19-year-olds loved it. It was out for most work for children. Firstly, all children need to Play can take children and young people of the night and we had conversations about play; it’s absolutely essential to their devel- to another place where all those distractions, some profound issues. It was a beautiful opment and well-being. Secondly, adults and anxieties and cares can just be parked to moment. It just broke down barriers and play workers must let children freely choose one side. Once you’ve done that and you’re opened people up. I was blown away by that. and personally direct their play. engrossed in your play there’s space for God I had not expected anything quite so power- It’s been interesting applying that to to come and for you to encounter something ful. children’s ministry, because it hasn’t always of his presence, peace or whatever it is you fitted with traditional Sunday school models. need from him in that particular moment. So I’ve been quite challenged in what I do It’s amazing how powerful play has been in and why I do it. children’s ministry and in my own kids’ lives… The thing about play is that children and even in mine, if I’m honest. are the experts and we're not. So the most surprising thing for me has been turning TOP TIPS FOR USING PLAY everything on its head, so it’s not me who is IN CHILDREN’S MINISTRY the expert in the room on a Sunday morning The thing about play but the children, with me learning to listen is children are the Make space and time for play when and follow their lead. My practice has done a preparing your Sunday morning 180-degree shift, so that it’s about providing experts and we're not children’s session. children with opportunities to explore and develop their faith, their spirituality and their I love playing board games. I used to run Provide play opportunities that allow relationship with Father God, Jesus and the a discipleship group for children in years 3 to children to do what they want the way Holy Spirit through play, while I am just there 6, and we’d start every discipleship session they want. to help as and when they need it. with games. We would play the game and All parents and carers play with their encourage the children to reflect theological- Stand back and watch what’s going children. It’s the most natural thing children ly, asking: “What is God saying to you in this on. How are they interacting? What do, and we want to play with our kids. One moment through that game?” For example, do you see that reflects Christian of the things I’m learning is that all those if we’d been playing stacking cups and they community? play opportunities are times when we can collapsed quickly, we could reflect on how connect our children with God in the same quickly things can fall down and how quickly Now listen. What do you hear? Do you way that we connect with them in play. If we can build them back up again, but that no hear the kingdom of God reflected in God is always with us and our children, he’s matter what happens there is a hand putting their conversations? in everything we do. That includes play! So them in place. Snakes and Ladders is a beau- it’s just finding little ways of bringing God, tiful game. As Christians, life isn’t all ladders. Ask questions. If Jesus was in the our faith and our spirituality into those play There are snakes, and there are things that room, where would he be? What would opportunities. I have been blown away by mean we sometimes feel like we’re going he be doing? Follow his lead. some of the reflections they come out with backwards, but actually we’re still moving. as we play on a Sunday morning. When playing games now I’m aware of I have teenage children, and these princi- God, theologically reflecting and learning and ples have also worked in my parenting. When deepening my relationship in everything I do. my daughter was at university she had some Take that and apply it to children. If they're issues with anxiety. She called me at 1am, equating play with encountering God they TONIA VINCENT and her friends said: “We don’t know what will encounter that on a Sunday morning, but is a family well-being worker in Leicestershire.

31 November THE VIDEO SERIES

We have teamed up with Limitless to launch a brand new video series of 'Leadership 101', designed to help busy youth and children’s ministry leaders invest in their leadership development.

Each month we will release a new video of Tim Alford sharing his leadership wisdom. So, why not schedule a regular slot in the diary to gather your team and volunteers, then watch and discuss these videos together.

You can find out more and check out the videos at youthandchildrens.work/leadership101.

• How To Lead Change • Pause, Reflect, Innovate • The Paradox of Apology • Receiving Feedback • Giving Feedback • Do Less Better ...and many more.

November 32 For many of us, leadership is a by-product of youth and children's work. But we want to lead well, so each month we'll unpack an issue we face as leaders, and offer some guidance to traverse it.

What, where, who? Part 3

All of us in youth and children’s or differentiate an organisation from Core values team workshop ministry recognise the fact that one others. Values that commonly fit into this Step 1: Take some time to clearly explain of the most important things we can category include honesty, integrity and to your team the difference between do is journey with our young people as respect for others.” aspirational, accidental, permission-to- they form their identity. This process Patrick warns that, in the process of play and core values. of self-discovery is paramount in seeking clarity around our values, we Step 2: Print out the core values of a understanding who God has made us must avoid falling into the all-too-com- variety of organisations (include church- to be and what he has called us to do. mon pitfalls of aspirational, accidental or es, Christian ministries, businesses, There is something within all of us permission-to-play values. What, then, military, social-sector organisations and that understands that you cannot fulfil are the sorts of values we are seeking to so on) and stick them up around the room. your God-given potential until you define? Those that Patrick refers to as Ask your team to go around in pairs and understand your God-given identity. ‘core values’. discuss each one. We recognise this to be true of the Step 3: Come back together and ask children and young people we journey the team to throw out ideas for what your with. We know this is an indispensable core values might be. Write them all up on part of our own personal discipleship and Defining our core values a flip chart. There are no bad ideas at this leadership development. Yet we often fail made tangible what was stage! to recognise that the same is true of the previously intangible Step 4: Highlight a maximum of six ministries we lead. Understanding who suggestions that most commonly resonate we are as a ministry will always precede throughout the team, then ask everyone stepping fully into the purposes God has Core values: The values that lie at in the room to independently write a assigned to us. Our ministries cannot the heart of an organisation’s identity, sentence on each one. fulfil their God-given potential until they which “do not change over time and must Step 5: Following the meeting, collate understand their God-given identity. already exist…they cannot be contrived”. the ideas into a set of values (a maximum That’s why, in this third and final Which brings us back to where we of six), and write a paragraph describing article in the series, we will be exploring began: identity formation. Defining each one using the language of the team. our values… our core values is really the process In doing this you will create ownership, of becoming clear about who God has which is vital for keeping these values Values: who you are already appointed us to be as a ministry. front and centre going forward. If your mission is what you do and your Therefore, the process of defining our core vision is where you are going, then your values is less about creating something We began this series by asking the values define who you are. They are your and more about discovering something. question: what is the most important identity, your character, your unique For us at Limitless, this process thing you have done in your ministry? For personality as a ministry, and coming into has been a complete world-changer. most of us, the thought of bringing clarity clarity around them is essential to stepping Defining our core values was the process around mission, vision and values would into all the things God has assigned to you. of putting language around what was not have been top of the list, but it is this So how do we clarify our values? already there, deep within our ministry. clarity that will propel your ministry into Business consultant Patrick Lencioni can It made tangible what was previously the future you long for. help us here. In his phenomenal book The intangible and enabled us to describe So let’s lead teams that are running Advantage, Patrick helps us understand who we are: “Family is our heart; service with passion and unity toward a clearly what we are seeking to define, and first is our posture; listening is our culture; defined common purpose. Because that’s what we need to avoid… excellence and opportunity is our when change happens. Aspirational values: The charac- pursuit; fun is our spirit; pioneering is teristics an organisation “wants to have, our calling.” wishes it already had, and believes it must This changed everything. Our staff, develop” to succeed. leadership team and events planning We have launched a new video series Accidental values: Attributes that team meetings found a new anchoring based on 'Leadership 101'. Visit have “come about unintentionally and point. Our decisions, methodology, youthandchildrens.work/leadership101. don’t necessarily serve the good of the structures and personnel are all held to organisation”. account according to this unique identity. Permission-to-play values: The Discovering and putting language around minimum behavioural standards an these values has been a gift to me and to organisation needs. “Although they are our team. And you could also have that TIM ALFORD extremely important, permission-to- gift! So why not take your team through is national director of Limitless and youth ministry play values don’t serve to clearly define this workshop and see what you discover? specialist lecturer at Regents Theological College.

33 November “THE DAY WE QUIT LETTING OUR FEELINGS RUN OUR LIVES

WILL BE A GREAT DAY OF “ LIBERATION.

Scripture teaches that we are all made in the image of God. We do not define ourselves—the Creator does. We were all created to be known and loved by God. Once the answers are clear, we can move forward and discover all God has called us to be. In the Defined book, join Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick to know who they are in Christ and understand how their identity in Christ shapes their life.

Available at LifeWay.com or CLC Kingsway bookstores. Welcome to Faith at Home, our monthly resource for those seeking to develop children’s faith at home. We know that raising the next generation of Jesus-followers isn’t easy, but hopefully the ideas and stories inside these pages can help us all along the way. You could tear out these pages to give to parents you work with or point them in the direction of youthandchildrens.work/faithathome, where it’s available to download for free (and won’t hurt your beautiful magazine).

The adolescent brain 36 Karen Todd looks at how understanding the teenage brain can help parents thrive

Forming faith rituals 40 Advent and Christmas

Story for home 42 Rahab

Bob’s Bedtime Stories We’re also on the radio Download a free ebook Join us every Saturday at 8:30am on of Bob’s stories at Premier Christian Radio as we talk about youthandchildrens.work/stories parenting and faith development

Download free at youthandchildrens.work/faithathome

35 November The adolescent brain

thriving surviving through the teenage years

November 36 Faith at Home ike toddlers, teenagers often get a bad press when it comes Brain maturation to their behaviour. Sweeping generalisations can be made Different parts of the brain develop at different rates. Areas L about the adolescent years, and many unsuspecting involved in the more basic functions develop first, for example teenagers find themselves at the receiving end of unfavourable ‘processing information for senses’ or ‘controlling move- statements. For parents, the transformation that occurs in their ment’, whereas parts of the brain such as ‘planning ahead’ and children can have a significant impact. While for some the chang- ‘controlling impulses’ are among the last to mature. This helps es are barely noticeable, others may endure extreme ‘personality us understand why risk-taking seems to supersede logic for some transplants’ in their children, and the rollercoaster of emotional teenagers. Having this insight doesn’t always make it easy to adjustment to this new season can be daunting for parents and accept some of the choices our teens make, and it doesn’t negate teenagers alike. our desire to help them make good ones, but it does help us In our society, this stage of life has long been categorised. understand that they aren’t simply being rebellious or inconsid- Attempting to understand teenagers is not a new phenomenon, erate. To some extent their brains may be working against them. but understanding what is going on in their brains – as well as in With this in mind, it makes the idea of remaining connected their ever-changing world – may well be. So what can we learn to our teenagers and a positive influence on them during these about their world, and how do we navigate the myriad of chang- crucial years even more compelling. es in order to help them (and us, as parents) survive, and even The more we look at the research, the more we understand thrive, during the teenage years? that the teenage years are a significant period in brain development, as further ‘pruning’ of synapses takes place during this Changes stage. The brain has a higher plasticity during these years and is Regardless of the external circumstances or the behaviour being most able to make changes. Genes, childhood experience and the exhibited, one thing that is inevitable for teenagers is change. It environment in which a young person reaches adolescence are all is happening in and around them, and it’s impossible for them believed to shape behaviour. Additionally, research has modified to escape it. Everyone embraces and experiences change in their our understanding of brain maturation, essentially extending the own unique way, but for some teenagers the extent of change can formative teenage years into the early 20s. feel overwhelming. The teenage years constitute one of the most significant periods of change, regardless of whether or not this change is welcomed. Scientists have discovered that striking changes take WHEN PARENTING TEENAGERS, place during the teen years, with much of the research focusing CONNECTION IS MORE IMPORTANT on brain development. The National Institute for Mental Health released fascinating findings in 2011, highlighting how the teen- THAN CORRECTION age brain is still under construction. More recently it summa- rised this in a helpful factsheet called The Teen Brain: Six things As well as the significant changes happening in the brain, it’s to know: worth noting that the physical, intellectual, emotional and social (PIES) changes occurring at this stage are substantial. 1. Your brain does not keep getting bigger as you get older. Physically: Most noticeably, development of the sex organs 2. But that doesn’t mean your brain is done maturing. is prevalent, along with the lengthening of limbs, changes in 3. The teen brain is ready to learn and adapt. appearance, changes in hair growth and body odour. 4. Many mental disorders appear during adolescence. Intellectually: Significant growth in understanding happens 5. The teen brain is resilient. during the teenage years, with the intellectual power of an 6. Teens need more sleep than children and adults. adolescent brain matching that of an adult. In this generation of digital natives, technical understanding can quickly exceed that Gaining insight into the physiological changes taking place of many adults. during the teenage years can better place us to understand the Emotionally: The ability to self-regulate emotional thermo- behaviours and attitudes that often surface without taking them stats can be challenging, and the adolescent years can sometimes so personally. For my family it was helpful to learn about sleep appear to be a repetition of the toddler years in terms of our patterns as my daughters approached their teenage years. Under- teens’ ability to have extreme emotional reactions and their standing that melatonin levels rise and fall later in the day during sensitivity to specific scenarios. the teenage years helped us make allowances for their needs Socially: Puberty increases susceptibility to stress, and there rather than just assuming they were being lazy or irresponsible. can be an awkwardness in adapting to changing social circumstanc- We couldn’t change school start times but we could block out es. Peer influence increases, along with an increased awareness of Saturday mornings for them to sleep in without us getting irritat- social injustice, among other things. This is a season in which the ed with them for doing so. This is probably one of the best things practice of challenging authority and cultural norms can dominate. we did (and continue to do) during their teenage years, and I’m All of these changes result in a leaning toward acting on convinced it has saved thousands of potential arguments that impulse, with an appetite for novelty and what may appear to be lack of sleep or understanding might have generated. selfishness.

Faith at Home 37 November WE BLOCKED OUT SATURDAY MORNINGS FOR THEM TO SLEEP IN WITHOUT US GETTING IRRITATED WITH THEM FOR DOING SO

The impact Growing our understanding During the formative years in our children’s lives we get to influ- Regardless of how ‘in touch’ you are with current culture, it is ence their attitudes and behaviour, and sometimes even their important to recognise that a huge cultural shift currently exists. friendships. For those of us who have a faith, this will influence ‘Normal’ in this generation looks very different from the way it what we teach our children and the way we bring them up. Then did even just a decade ago. As a society we have seen large shifts the teenage years arrive and we often feel ill-prepared. It can feel in the way we communicate. This generation of teenagers has devastating if the changes in our children start to impact the way grown up with smartphones and social media. Understanding they behave and relate to us. what we don’t know about what it is like to be a teenager in this Often accompanying these changes is an increase in their generation of digital natives is just as helpful as growing our questioning of what they have known to be truth. With current understanding of all the changes they are going through. societal culture suggesting that truth is whatever we want it to In her research, Losing My Religion: millennials and faith loss, be, our teenagers are likely to experience an internal war to some Dr Ruth Perrin helpfully summarises the quantitative and qual- extent as they try to reason the faith they may have been taught itative data, highlighting that 71 per cent of people who change with the culture to which they are now being exposed. During their faith do so between the ages of 18 and 29. She says: “People these teenage years of deepening knowledge and increasing don’t suddenly go from a profound commitment to Jesus to not independence, exposure to other world views is inevitable, and believing at all. It takes weeks, months, even years. Over a period exploration of faith often comes with that. of time, their faith just becomes less and less convincing. Some- This can trigger a series of questions and challenges from thing may trigger a decision to renounce belief but typically this them, and because of the effects of brain development there may is a final straw in an already long-term process.” be a distinct lack of sophistication in the way these challenges are It isn’t usually a specific event that causes a loss of faith; more presented. Interestingly, our own emotive responses when our likely it is the questioning and observations that happen during Christian faith is subjected to scrutiny can cause fallout. Question- the teenage years that shape and influence this decision. It is ing is an essential part of faith development and greater insight into imperative, therefore, that we understand the cultural pressures the changes our teenagers are going through can help us respond our teenagers are facing and help create an environment that calmly when behaviours and attitudes prove frustrating. encourages them to ask questions and explore these issues. This is a sensitive season for many families to adapt to, not Try to engage with their world and the cultural experiences least in the exploration of spiritual identity, where exposure to they are encountering. There is plenty of available information intellectual, emotional and social changes can influence beliefs. about ‘Generation Z’ that explains how this generation views the Shifting from parenting children to parenting teens may feel world and each other. Find opportunities to understand things daunting, but there are some simple things we can do to help us from their perspective and give them a platform from which to navigate our way through these years. voice their opinions.

November 38 Faith at Home Finding opportunities to connect teenagers crave the knowledge that boundaries exist. They When parenting teenagers, connection is more important than will often seek to engage with theories, statements and ques- correction. This is a challenging concept to adopt as a parent, as tions in a search to find out where these boundaries lie. This there will be times when our teenagers seem to have superpowers may not present itself in a well-thought-through manner, and when it comes to going against all that we have previously taught sometimes it appears as though the motivation is antagonism. them. However, if we focus our attention on correcting them we However, if you can learn not to react to this surface behaviour, may enter endless power struggles, and before long there can be a instead expressing understanding, finding connections and chasm between us that is hard to bridge. offering acceptance, your teenagers are more likely to allow you Instead, it helps to find ways to connect with our teens, a say in their lives and choices. taking an interest in the things they find intriguing and gener- Make it your mission to develop an environment in which ally looking for excuses to ‘waste time’ with them. Ask yourself any topic can be discussed. If they don’t feel accepted and safe some basic questions about your teenager. Who are their to explore subjects with you they will explore them elsewhere. friends? What music do they like? How do they like to interact Create an environment that is the best place for radical, contro- with people? Who do they admire? Challenge yourself to find versial and embarrassing topics to be discussed, and where opin- out more about what makes them tick and find ways to connect ions can be worked out rather than reacted to. with their world. Forget about what needs doing, and seize Finally, learn what the pressure points are – both yours and opportunities to connect with them as often as possible. With theirs, intentionally finding new ways of communicating that the change in sleep patterns, these opportunities often present can support this awareness – but don’t be scared to share your themselves late at night. opinion, your faith and the Bible with your teenagers. Adopt a perspective that is committed to calling out the good qualities Cultivating acceptance in them, seeing their potential and offering a secure home The teenage years represent a season of discovery, and if ever environment for them to navigate their way through the teen- there was a time of needing to be accepted this is it. The search age years. After all, true acceptance is rooted in our identity in for identity and the need to belong are prevalent through this Christ. It is our Christian faith that gives us a radical basis for season of change. Transitioning from childhood into adulthood forgiveness and hope to be practised. is a significant challenge, with internal and external influences evoking exploration, insecurity, searching and possible chaos. Identity issues are further compelled by the cultural empha- KAREN TODD sis of our time. Although our teenagers may not directly express is managing director of Simplicate, a concept development digital agency it, they are desperate to belong to something worthwhile; to based in Dorset. Karen also helps run the marketing department at Moorlands a place of safety where they feel accepted. Inadvertently, our College and is a regular guest lecturer.

Faith at Home 39 November Forming faith rituals

Faith at home at Christmas

Advent and Christmas are notoriously busy; so much so However you do it, you are more likely to achieve what you are that there could be a case for not bothering to do anything aiming for if you are intentional about it. Write down your goals, faith-focused at home and just starting again in the new prioritise them, share them together and review them. You could year. However, I believe it’s such a wonderful season that we call a family meeting to discuss what you would like to do during would be crazy not to take advantage of the opportunities. Advent, what you would like to keep the same or change from last One way to do this is to protect family time by saying no to year and how you would like to purposefully celebrate Jesus. things we’re invited to. Christmas events are not compulsory! Just As well as things I’m planning intentionally, I also have a list because they are fun, good or local doesn’t mean we have to go. I of ‘things we could do’. Most of these fall into the ‘happy holidays’ know this is hard, but wouldn’t it be amazing to plan in advance tradition: things that are not faith-focused but give us time as a the faith focus you would like to have as a family this Christmas, family to have fun and do things together, which in itself is good and choose to say yes only to events that contribute to this goal? for growing faith. Just creating space to be together and do things If this sounds like a crazy idea, you could come at it from the together allows us to share our faith together. I try to collect opposite direction. Knowing that your calendar is already filling the things together that we will need for these activities (often up, mark out some blocks of time in December to do faith-build- baking or craft for us), which means that if we have a slot we can ing activities together. This might be a ten-minute space in the just choose an activity and then off we go. But it’s also fine if these morning, in the evening after dinner, or on a Saturday afternoon things don’t happen. This gives me space to enjoy Christmas early in December. activities without feeling guilty about not getting things done.

November 40 Forming faith rituals

Just creating space to be together allows us to share our faith

What could you do? as angels or stars. We love making angel bunting, using A3 paper Whenever families ask me what they could do at home to boost to make giant angel paper dolls. We have also done angel-topped faith formation at home, I encourage them to do things that suit jam tarts and angel-stamped homemade wrapping paper using a their family, adding a faith element into activities they already cookie cutter and red paint on lining paper. do and strategically choosing one or two new things to add a faith It could be making a gingerbread house into a gingerbread element they want to build. stable. The IKEA one converts really well by leaving off one side and turning the chimney into a manger (see godventure.co.uk/ Do things that suit your family news/gingerbread-nativity-scene-using-an-ikea-kit for details). It’s easy to try to live out someone else’s faith or to do what we imagine others are doing. Faith at home becomes a way that we Strategically include things to add a faith element live when we do things that suit our family. I have friends who use What you want to build into your faith at home is likely to be a family devotional at Christmas, which I really like the sound of. influenced by your spiritual style. You may not have thought a lot However, this continues a pattern that they follow most weeks about your faith style, because it’s likely that many of your Chris- throughout the year, so it totally fits with the rhythm they’ve tian friends will share a similar one. But ask yourself whether you created in their home. Our home is more suited to stories, so we prefer to learn scripture or sing worship songs. Would you rather read a chapter of a Christmas story each night. get involved in social justice activities or invite friends to events? We need to bear in mind the season our families are currently Do you like looking at Christian art or studying the cultural back- in. When my children were under 5 I didn’t read them chapter ground to Bible stories? books. Instead, I wrapped up 24 Christmas-linked picture books, All of these are great, but some will appeal more than others. then we opened one each day and read it together. When my chil- Whichever you are drawn to, find a way to do them in a special dren are teenagers, maybe we will listen to a podcast together (or way during Advent. You could learn the Magnificat by heart, find whatever exists in that future world!). a new Christmas worship album, sign up to help a social outreach When they were very small, I bought a simple Nativity set they project in your area, pray about which of your friends to invite to could play with, throw and chew. Now they are older we have a various Christmas events at your church, collect some beautiful lovely hand-carved wooden one and a Playmobil one. (Who am Christmas art to use as a reflection or collect some great non-fic- I kidding? We have about ten! But that’s for me to discuss at my tion books to explore the cultural backdrop of the Nativity story. next Nativity Sets Anonymous meeting!) Don’t do all of them; just pick one! Our lifestyles change how we do things. Are you usually very Another way to think about adding elements to your faith at busy at the weekend? If so, don’t plan big events at those times. home life is to think about what your family does without thinking, Or are you busier during the week? If that’s the case, plan your and which elements might need a bit of a boost. What do you find extra thing at the weekend. Do you always have music on at works most easily in your routine: Bible reading or serving others? home? If so, create a Christmas playlist, or a different one for Worshiping God together or sitting quietly with him individually? each week of December, and enjoy some glorious worship, carols The Bridger model of faith talks about faith as understanding, faith and silly Christmas songs together. Do you love ritual, quiet and as imagining, faith as trusting and faith as doing. Which of these is candlelight? If that’s the case, stock up on candles and pick a your family great at? Which could you work on a bit this Advent? great prayer you can use together during Advent. Whatever you choose, do it strategically and intentionally. Be realistic and have fun with it! Making a faith at home plan isn’t Bring a faith element into existing activities another chance to compare yourself with others or beat yourself Often the easiest way to bring faith to the forefront is to include up about not doing it well. It’s a chance to move further along in Jesus in something we already do. Obviously, he’s already there, the faith you have, and this is a lifelong journey. And as I have but this is about us consciously doing things to enrich our faith. to tell myself when I’m tempted to plan too much, there will be This might be decorating your Christmas tree as usual, then another Christmas next year! all pausing for a minute before you put the star or angel on the top. Reflect on the year, give thanks for your three favourite things in 2019 or ask God to help you put him at the top of your VICTORIA BEECH list this season. runs GodVenture to inspire family faith at home. You can find lots more ideas for It could be decorating your house as usual, but adding some using different media in your faith at home activities on her website (GodVenture. decorations that specifically relate to the Christmas story, such co.uk) as well as on her Facebook and Instagram pages: @GodVenture.

Faith at Home 41 November Story for home

Here is a story for you to tell at home, perhaps at bedtime or as part of a God time during the day. You could also use it as part of a children’s session. To read some of Bob’s other stories, download our FREE ebook at youthandchildrens.work/stories. Rahab As you tell the story, you could encourage the children who are listening to respond like a narrator’s mate: to be quiet, to sit very still, to sigh, to hand over a pretend cord and to tremble at the thought of climbing down the wall. They can do as much or as little as they like.

Shhhh. Be as quiet as you can. Be as still as you can, too. me. And, hey, I’ve got an idea for how we can do it. Give me that I can hear them searching for us downstairs. scarlet cord you wear around your waist. Don’t cough. Don’t sneeze. And don’t move a muscle. Yeah, I know your mum gave it to you. And, yeah, I have one, If they find us we’re dead! too. But mine’s brown. It doesn’t stand out like yours. If she ties Yes, I know the stalks of flax that Rahab laid on this roof to your cord onto her window, we’ll be able to see it when we attack cover us with are itchy, and all you want to do is to scratch your the city. And that’s the point, surely. We’ll see it. We’ll know nose. But don’t do it! Not until we get the all-clear. Otherwise the where her family is hiding. And we’ll be able to rescue them. Just king’s men will catch us. And we’ll be done for, trust me. like she’s rescuing us. Now, listen! Do you hear that? She’s telling them she saw us Yes, I know that! We’re not completely rescued yet, but Rahab but that we sneaked out of the city gate just before it shut. Just has a plan; a way to get us out of the city so that no one notices. before dark. She’s telling them they’d better get a move on if they Don’t look so grumpy. I didn’t tell her your plan because I want to catch us. didn’t want you to worry. After all, I know how you feel about So they’re leaving, do you hear? Heavy feet on the floor. The heights. door slamming shut behind them. See, you’re trembling. I knew this would happen. But it’s the And now, breathe. Go on. A great big sigh of relief. We’re not only way. Her window is in the city wall, right? So if she lowers us safe yet. Not by a long shot. But we’re safe for now. out of the window and down the wall on a rope, no one will see us. It’s tough being a spy, isn’t it? But when Joshua asked us to Stop shaking your head. You’re going to do this. You have to creep into Jericho and check it out we both put our hands up, do this or we’ll be stuck here! And eventually they’ll find us. And didn’t we? Yeah, just like that! we’ll die. And this woman, Rahab. What a find she turned out to be. She Pray? Yes, I think that’s an excellent idea. And yes, I’m happy not only gave us a place to stay, but she hid us when she heard to go first if you think that will help. that the king’s men were looking for us. Now listen, can you hear? Someone is climbing up on the roof. Yes, you’re right. She did it for a reason, no doubt. What did Someone is making their way across the rows of flax. Someone is she say? That’s right! She’d heard that our army was coming. pulling up the flax that covers us. She’d heard how our God had split the Red Sea so we could all “Hello, Rahab!” walk across on dry land. She’d heard what our armies had done Come on, my friend, it’s time for us to go! to the cities we’d already defeated. So she wanted to do a deal with us. “I’ll hide you,” she said, “if you promise to save me and my BOB HARTMAN family when you conquer Jericho.” is an author and performance storyteller, who has spent many years writing and I don’t know what you think, but that seems more than fair to telling stories.

November 42 Faith at Home Mental health check NEW FEATURE

Welcome to our mental health column. Each month I’ll try and answer your questions about children, young people and mental health. We know this is an issue everyone is talking about, but how can we practically help the children and young people in our care? And how can we bring the hope of Jesus to a generation in crisis? If you or those you work alongside have a question you would like me to address, tweet or direct message me at @RachaelNewham90 or email [email protected].

How can we talk to our young people about suicide?

Suicide is the leading cause of death in young people, and neither are they letting God down. Throughout the Bible we and countless more survive suicide attempts or live with see God responding with kindness and gentleness to those who suicidal thoughts. It is a terrifying reality, but one we need are feeling weak and wearied. Isaiah’s words to God’s exiled people to talk about with our young people. are an encouragement and hope to us today. Isaiah 42:3 (NLT) Firstly, we need to be mindful of the language we adopt says: “He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering around suicide. Instead of using the phrase ‘committed suicide’, candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.” which stems from a time when suicide was a criminal offence, Fourthly, we need to ensure that all staff and volunteers using compassionate phrases such as ‘died by suicide’ can make it are equipped to handle disclosures around suicide. Make your easier for young people to open up when they are struggling. safeguarding procedures really clear. Prioritise creating space for supervision and make time to process and pray together as a team, especially when facing complex pastoral situations. Fifthly, empower your young people to take care online. Using compassionate phrases such Little Mix’s Jesy Nelson recently shared about her own struggle with suicidal thoughts, having experienced trolling after her as ‘died by suicide’ can make it appearance on The X Factor. The solution for Jesy was to come easier for young people to open off some forms of social media, and that might also be the case up when they are struggling for some of your young people. But if not, encourage them that they can choose to follow accounts or people who make them feel good, not inadequate. Secondly, we need to connect with scripture. Suicidal thoughts Lastly, get some training for yourself and your team. This might are not new, and scripture offers so much hope and wisdom for involve going to a conference run by an organisation like Mind how we can respond. In 1 Kings 19, when Elijah begged for death, and Soul, attending a seminar on mental health issues, reading a God sent an angel to provide him with rest, food and an oppor- book together or booking some training for your whole team. It’s tunity to talk. When a young person is feeling suicidal, as well as so important that you all have a working knowledge of the mental ensuring they have access to appropriate mental health care, this health issues young people face. You don’t need to be experts, but passage can offer a model of support. We can encourage rest and awareness and understanding of how to respond are vital. nourishment, and give them space to talk. It can be difficult and For more information on ThinkTwice’s #SpeakofSuicide heartbreaking to hear a young person’s suicidal thoughts, but it is campaign, check out thinktwiceinfo.org or find it on social media important that we allow them to voice their despair rather than @ThinkTwiceInfo. rushing in with possible solutions. Thirdly, we should respond with compassion. Young people RACHAEL NEWHAM often feel guilty about struggling with suicidal thoughts, and they is founder of Christian mental health charity ThinkTwice (@ThinkTwiceInfo) can feel this even more keenly if they have a faith. Reassure them and author of Learning to Breathe, a memoir and theological reflection on that struggling with despair doesn’t make them a ‘bad Christian’, mental illness.

43 November ADVERTORIAL

THE TRUTH ABOUT HOMELESSNESS True or false? There are nearly 250,000 homeless people in the UK right now. True. 125,000 of these are children and young people. True. There has been a 5% increase in homelessness since last Christmas. True. Being homeless is more than just sleeping rough on the streets. True. The Gospel calls us to do something about this. True.

work of the Church Urban Fund’s Together Network – a Christian charity tackling homelessness and deprivation in communities all over the country. This challenge really does have something for everyone: our youngest 2018 challenger was just 4 years old and our oldest was a 93-year-old Granny who chose to sleep in her bathtub! It’s simple; create a challenge that is appropriate for you, set up your sponsorship page and go. Plus, we’ve put together loads of resources to help with the planning process.

The Advent Sleepout Challenge reminds us of homelessness in the Christmas story and the trials Mary and Joseph were faced with. If we think about the birth of Christ, we realise that, like many who are ur children and young people (CYPs) homeless today, the situations which caused their are more switched on and aware of chaos were unavoidable. Jesus was born in a stable homelessness than we are. Many of them because there were no places of comfort available walk past people sleeping in doorways on their way to them – by modern de nitions Jesus started out to school or someone in their school has been placed his life homeless. Luke 9:58 tells us that even in his into emergency or temporary accommodation adult ministry the ‘Son of Man has no place to lay his because they can’t live in their family home anymore. head’. As followers of Christ we are called to care for Do our CYPs feel empowered or able to do anything those living on the margins and the Advent Sleepout about it? Or is there a culture of fear surrounding Challenge o ers us a way to do so. As the big ‘C’ homelessness that make our CYPs feel like they can’t (Christmas, not Christ) approaches, let’s encourage help? It can feel like there are limited ways adults our CYPs to be generous with their time and do can help, let alone children. This, friends, is where the something di erent. Advent Sleepout Challenge comes into play. In To Kill a Mocking Bird, Atticus Finch tells us: ‘You The Advent Sleepout Challenge is a campaign can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile seeking to raise awareness and funds to tackle in their shoes’. That’s what the sleepout challenge homelessness. It encourages people to take a step seeks to do: to give individuals – of all ages – the out of their comfort zone, give up their comfort for the opportunity to catch just a small glimpse of what it night and sleep somewhere other than their bed. This might feel like to be homeless. With so much space could mean sleeping on the church £ oor, sleeping for creativity, lots of resources already online and a outside in a doorway or in a hand-built cardboard committed team at Sleepout HQ on hand and ready city, or opting to go without your pillow or even your to help, there is nothing to hold you back. Will you join favourite teddy if you are small. Participants collect us this Advent and take the Sleepout Challenge? sponsorships for doing so which raises money for the www.sleepoutchallenge.org.uk. ADVERTORIAL

Ever wondered how some leaders seem to have the ability to tackle and sort each situation, from programme planning to breaking up a conflict? Many have a phenomenal talent (or gifting), but what is less obvious is that most will be drawing on theories (or ‘tools’) to help them make sense of each situation. Good tools will help you understand what is happening and give you a range of viable options. In this column we’ll look at different tools. Some are about understanding human behaviour, some are about organisation and some will help you set the right goals. We’ll explore how consistent each tool is with scripture and acknowledge any limitations or weaknesses involved. Your job is to try to apply it in your own context.

TOOL: Kolb’s learning cycle

BLUEPRINT: the background TESTING IDEAS IN PRACTICE What are we going to do next time? This may involve keeping the best Einstein is quoted as saying: “Insanity is doing the same thing over bits and radically redesigning other parts. Then – even if you have to and over again and expecting different results.” There is little evidence wait some time before you can do so – go out and do it again. that he said this; nevertheless, the sentiment is true. It’s also true that failure is a great teacher, but only if we can work out how to learn It’s hopefully obvious that if you regularly do this kind of exercise, from it. If you and your team struggle to evaluate your work, Kolb’s bringing in changes and improvements each time, the experience learning cycle is for you. (and, indeed, the following reflection) will develop. Rather than going You can start anywhere on the cycle, but it is usually used in response around and around the same cycle you will actually spiral upwards into to an experience. This could be something big and long term (eg we more effective practice. employed a gap-year student, did it work?), something smaller (did the youth weekend away go well?), or even a small incident or conversation. Kolb suggests working through four stages: concrete experience; reflec- SPIRIT LEVEL: looking at scripture tive observation; abstract conceptualisation; and active experimentation. We'll simplify them to: experience; observations and reflection; develop- LUKE 10:1-24 ment of ideas; and testing ideas in practice (see diagram below). This is a brilliant example to show that you can reflect on success as well as failure. Jesus sends out the 72 following a briefing. They return, observing success (v17), and Jesus uses the opportunity EXPERIENCE to do some teaching and developing of ideas, noting some of the ‘success’ may have been down to a spiritual dimension (v18). TESTING IDEAS OBSERVATIONS IN PRACTICE & REFLECTIONS MARK 9:14-29 There is a nice ‘double loop’ here. Verse 20 is the ‘experience’: the DEVELOPMENT demon-possessed boy is brought to Jesus and convulses. Jesus OF IDEAS observes this and starts to explore the issue with the father (v21-24). Is what happens just about possession, or is it about faith as well? The ‘testing’ section (v26) comes in as the boy is released. The disci- NAIL IT DOWN: the insight ples later come to Jesus with the same ‘experience’, but they want to explore the loop in a different way, asking: “What went wrong? Why Let’s work through an example… couldn’t we do what you did?” Jesus somewhat enigmatically develops their ideas by suggesting that the answer is prayer (v29). EXPERIENCE Your alternative Halloween party was not a great success. Half the JOSHUA 7:1 – 8:28 children turned up as witches or werewolves, and there was almost This is a quite long and somewhat gruesome example. The Israel- a revolt when a film about Jesus was substituted for the expected ites’ unstoppable progress comes to an abrupt halt at Ai (the ‘expe- pumpkin carving. rience’, v4). Joshua doesn’t jump to immediate conclusions, such as “we need more troops” or “they need more training”. He takes OBSERVATION AND REFLECTION the observation and reflects on it in prayer (v6). God develops the What really happened? Try to separate your analysis from any feelings idea, revealing specific disobedience that needs to be dealt with (v of embarrassment or failure. What went well? How bad were the bad 10-13). The rest of the narrative shows Joshua testing these ideas in bits? We're not trying to evaluate yet, we’re just recording exactly what practice and their God-given success being restored. happened. The more you reflect the more you will realise that some of your initial reactions were misplaced, and without this structured style of thinking you may be doomed to repeat your errors. If you are team leader you’ll need to lead this sensitively but meticulously. Many people will want to skip quickly on to the latter sections of the cycle.

DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS NIGEL ARGALL This is where we start to ask why. Maybe we didn’t pray enough, but has been teaching (and doing) youth and children’s work for decades. He perhaps the publicity was poor, people didn’t know what to expect, or we is currently helping CYM innovate its courses and organisation. His joy is could have chosen a more engaging video or asked another person to seeing things done better. He has a master’s in community education, and is a lead. This is where you may gain vital insights that transform the project. qualified coach and youth worker: argall.co.uk.

November 46 Youth work column

We need more BAME leaders

Most of us have heard the phrase “birds of a feather flock and language barriers, or it could simply be due to the fact that together”, and the same can be said for Christians. It is they have not had a similar upbringing or life experience. human nature to want to be around people who identify It is always encouraging to see someone who looks like you with us, look like us or share similarities with us. But what achieving something that seems to be impossible. Whether it’s about those who don’t? Obama becoming the first African-American US president or Oprah becoming a successful African-American talk show host, The d word author, philanthropist and billionaire. When BAME youth see Diversity is a word that is often bandied about, particularly in people who look like them in leadership roles it shows young the workplace. Our statutory rights are protected by the Equality people from ethnic minorities that they can achieve such Act, which aims to ensure that everyone is treated equally and positions regardless of their skin tone, cultural background or fairly, regardless of race, gender or sexuality. language. Part of the reason many Christians go to church is for the So where does the Church stand on all of this? Programmes fellowship. Therefore, a lack in racial diversity – whether in lead- like the BAME Clergy Leadership course, which is run by the ership or among the congregation – can often cause some people Diocese of London, help to ensure that individuals from BAME to feel excluded and unvalued. So why would it be any different backgrounds have the same leadership opportunities as their for a child or young person in our Sunday school or youth group white counterparts. whose nationality is not widely represented? Rev Dr Neil Evans, director of ministry for the Diocese of London, told me: “The modern Church must reflect the communities it serves. In the Diocese of London just 5 per cent of clergy responsible for parishes are from BAME backgrounds, and the proportion is similarly low for senior postholders across the It is always encouraging to whole Church of England. The Bishop Wilfred Wood Leadership see someone who looks like you Programme (BWWLP) was born out of a realisation that serious work must be done to encourage the Church in the Diocese of achieving something that London – working in partnership with Southwark and Birming- ham dioceses – to take positive action to increase the inclusion seems to be impossible and representation of BAME people.” The recruitment of BAME leaders helps to create key relationships with BAME youth, as they have a mutual understand- The BAME community ing. This means that the support systems and resources BAME The Black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) community is youth need are often already in place. growing. Statistics from Diversity UK in 2018 show that 40 per Rev Neil said: “When we are young and growing up there is cent of the London population identifies as part of this group, always a person we admire and seek to emulate, whether it be a with 14 per cent of the total UK population identifying as such. musician, sportsperson or clergyperson. Just like the Bishop of More than half of the ethnic minority population in the UK London is a role model to the next generation of female leaders, is aged under 30, with the average age being approximately 12. those clergy that participate in the BWWLP will inspire the next Data from Youth for Christ also shows that BAME communities generation of BAME leaders, within and outside the Church.” are growing at a faster rate than the white population, especially in our cities. Interestingly, the figures show that 75 per cent of It's not over yet Black Caribbeans, 70 per cent of Black Africans and 14 per cent of Just because we see change happening doesn’t mean that we Indians consider themselves to be Christians. should stop there. The underrepresentation of BAME youth in As the number of BAME youth in our churches and communi- many of our churches is an ongoing issue. We must seek to make ties continues to grow, we must do our utmost to be more inclu- our youth groups and churches places that are inclusive thriving sive. One way to approach this is to recruit more BAME leaders. for BAME children and young people to be part of. And we must intentionally place BAME individuals in areas of leadership so BAME leadership promotes BAME youth that they can lead the way. I remember being in church when I was growing up and hearing What can you do to ensure that your group, ministry, church the pastor say: “We are all fearfully and wonderfully made in the or organisation is prioritising genuine diversity in its member- image of God,” which stems from Psalm 139:14. However, I didn’t ship and leadership? always see people of my ethnicity in church leadership positions as I looked around. If there were, the numbers were small. It is common for BAME youth to hold back from expressing how they really feel because, beyond their faith, they often feel they can’t CHLOE ROTTER relate to their church leadership. This may be because of cultural is a lead children’s and youth worker at Trinity Church, Harrow.

47 November The big conversation

Justin Brierley, host of The Big Conversation, Ask the profs: reflects on a recent debate between two geniuses. Is there a God behind the universe?

It’s not every day you get to meet scientific of the universe compared with many of his them all, and that this ultimate source lies royalty, but 88-year-old Sir Roger Penrose atheist colleagues, who completely dismiss beyond the universe in God. certainly qualifies. The Oxford University God as a possible explanation. Having Roger wasn’t convinced. A divine mind cosmologist worked alongside Stephen investigated the order and complexity of that can think and feel, and that purposed Hawking to confirm the Big Bang theory, the cosmos, he says: “There is a certain the creation of humans? “It sound too much and has won enough scientific prizes to fill sense in which I would say the universe like us,” he objects. the average display cabinet. has a purpose. It’s not there just somehow Without missing a beat, Bill responded: Dressed in a slightly scruffy jumper by chance. I think that there is something “Perhaps we’re like him.” and tweed jacket, he looks the part of an much deeper about its existence, which we There are many people who look at the absent-minded genius. But when he speaks have very little inkling of at the moment.” grandeur of our vast universe and come his brain is as sharp as ever. He was with Could that purpose at the centre of the away feeling, like Roger, that there must be me for an episode of The Big Conversa- universe be explained by God? more to the story than a load of random tion, and as our dialogue on God and the Roger described three ‘great mysteries’ atoms and electrons whizzing around. The universe got underway I had to work hard to during the course of the show. First there’s the central claim of the Christian story is that keep up with him on particle physics, black mystery of consciousness. How did our ability the source of all that order, complexity and holes and cyclical universes. to think, feel and experience emotion arise? mystery can be known. Joining the conversation was William More than that, how is it that these conscious The Bible says that we are made in the (Bill) Lane Craig, one of the world’s leading creatures have managed to plumb the depths image of God. We are like him. The even more Christian thinkers, who has popularised some of the physical universe using the tools of an stunning truth is that in order to reach us he of the most powerful arguments for God from abstract mathematical realm? And why does became like us. We aren’t left with mystery science and philosophy. For 90 minutes I got the universe seem to run according to the very alone. The creator crossed the cosmos so to experience two great minds going back and precise language of mathematics? Discov- that we could know him in person. forth on whether God explains the universe ering this language has allowed us to invent around us. It was a captivating ride, and I just mobile phones and fly people to the moon. It about managed to hold on! didn’t need to be that way…and yet it is. Roger is not a religious believer, but Bill believes these mysteries can be Watch Roger Penrose and William Lane Craig discuss nevertheless he takes a very different view explained by looking for a source that unites God and the universe at thebigconversation.show.

November 48 What does yellow taste like?

There are many questions that stop children and young people wanting to know more about God. Rather than trying to answer questions they’re not asking, we thought we’d go straight to the source and hear from the experts themselves.

Where did the universe come from?

I think the Big Bang started it. The Big Bang also disproves God.

Does it? Also, if God created everything, who created God?

What’s the biggest number you can think existence, the cause itself could not be physical, and also had to be of? Try this one: 1 in 1010(123). It’s written timeless and incredibly powerful. There’s only one clear candidate in that special mathsy way, because if you for that job: God. tried to write down the number of zeros In fact, the Bible got there long before the scientists did. The very there wouldn’t be room on this piece of first verse of Genesis says: “In the beginning God created the heav- paper. There wouldn’t be enough paper in ens and the earth.” The other religions that were around at the time the whole world to write them down. In fact, if you placed a zero on the Bible was being written imagined that their gods just rearranged every single atom in the entire universe you still wouldn’t have a big the stuff that already existed. Only the Bible claimed that there was enough number. That is a BIG number. nothing in the beginning until God said: “Let there be…” This particular number was discovered by a famous cosmologist Nothing apart from God, that is. (a particular type of scientist) called Roger Penrose. It describes And that might be your next question…Who created God? It’s a just how finely balanced the matter and energy that make up our good question. A classic question, in fact. And my answer might universe had to be in order for us to be here. If it had differed by just sound a bit like a dodge, but stay with me. 1 part in 1010(123) our universe would be a very boring place full of I think God is the one thing in all of reality that doesn’t need an black holes and nothingness. But instead it produced galaxies, stars, explanation for its existence. The problem is that if something else planets…and eventually you and me. What are the chances? created God we have to ask what created that thing, and then what These days, many people claim that science has disproved God. created that thing…and so on. We would soon end up in an infinite But if you look at what scientists are actually discovering about regress in which nothing ever gets explained. the universe, you will realise that the opposite is true. The amazing For anything to exist there has to be what the philosophers call ‘a order and balance of all the laws of nature that had to be in place to first cause’. God has always been defined as exactly that: the eternal allow the universe to produce life is utterly mind-blowing. And here’s one, the alpha and omega, from everlasting to everlasting. The list another mind-blowing, are-you-for-real fact. According to astrophys- goes on. So we don’t have to ask the same question of God that we ics, the universe hasn’t always existed. Yes, you heard me right. ask of everything else. God is the ground on which everything else A long, long time ago, people used to think the universe had just stands. always been around. But in the last 70 years science has been on Just like that huge number, the universe is a mighty big place, a crazy journey of discovering that everything in existence – time, and it’s possible to feel pretty small and unimportant in it. King space, matter, energy and the universe itself – all expanded from David had the same feeling when he wrote in Psalm 8:3-4: “When I one infinitesimally small point in a ‘Big Bang’ about 14 billion years consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the ago. (If you need confirmation, go and listen to the theme tune of stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are The Big Bang Theory.) mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” Isn’t that weird? The universe wasn’t here, and then in less than The answer is the same one David received. God, who created the blink of an eye, all of a sudden it was. everything, created you and me. And that means we aren’t alone in So that’s where the universe came from. But of course, that rais- this big universe. We know the maker, and he knows us. es another question. Stuff doesn’t just appear out of nowhere for no reason. In which case, what caused the Big Bang? Who lit the fuse that started everything off? JUSTIN BRIERLEY The problem is that when we’re asking questions about what is theology and apologetics editor for Premier and host of the Unbelievable? caused all the stuff of the universe to exist we have to go beyond radio show and podcast. Watch The Big Conversation video series at the stuff of the universe. For time, space and matter to come into thebigconversation.show.

49 November Schools’ work: In theory Children and young people spend a huge amount of time at school. This young woman would How can we better support have been an outsider in the them while they’re there? extended family. Some may And what can we have felt as though she had do to help schools? trapped Joseph into marriage because her pregnancy outside marriage was a scandal he could have walked away from but didn’t. Maybe they turned their backs because they didn’t want to acknowledge her or the baby. To those of us who are familiar with the story it perhaps seems incredible that the mother of Jesus was so rejected and scorned. However, this is a story that is repeated again and again throughout history, even to the present day. Moreover, within the first few years of Jesus’ life he was taken on the run with his family, persecuted but saved. For children who are facing these sorts of circumstances today we talk about ‘adverse childhood experiences’. Rejection from family members, vulnerable housing and living in poverty can all be categorised as such. Children who have experienced the It's Christmas! trauma of displacement through persecution, harrowing jour- neys over land and sea to escape – often becoming separated In all likelihood, your Christmas preparations will be in full from their parents in the process – have complex physical and swing by the time you read this. You’ll have planned who is mental health needs. They will likely be filthy, ravaged by hunger going where and when to celebrate. There will be a plan for and thirst, traumatised by the events they have witnessed and gathering food and drink to host parties, buying presents weighed down by survivor guilt. The journey to wholeness and and cards for your nearest and dearest, and attending carol healing can be long and arduous. services. What if, this Christmas, we could find a way to reach out to As we begin this Advent season, you might also be preparing those who are suffering, either with hunger or with vulnerable your Christmas assembly or lessons, or perhaps a party for your housing or with some other circumstance that would be consid- lunchtime group. What is the most important thing to you this ered adverse or challenging? There will be children in the schools Christmas? Maybe it’s taking some time to revisit the Christmas we visit who are suffering the effects of adversity. How do we story, which is so well-known and yet rich with imagery, that can make a connection with them? How can we reassure them that be acknowledged and responded to all over again. they are not alone, and that they are seen and included? We all love stories, and especially the retelling of stories we know Thankfully, children can be protected from the more extreme and love. One of the recommendations for children with dyslexia effects of adverse childhood experiences. As schools’ workers we and other additional needs around language and speech is to read can help with some of these, although not necessarily with all. The and reread stories and poems so that they become familiar with the key is to build positive and compassionate community around the words and don’t need to work so hard to decode the letters. We do child. Family members, friends and schools all have an important the same with Bible stories, telling and retelling stories from scrip- role to play, as does access to appropriate professional, therapeutic ture so they stick in our minds and make their way into our hearts. and safeguarding systems. Helping the child learn practical problem-solving and emotional regulation skills is also really crucial, and the former is certainly something we can help with, if not the latter as well. There are lots of great resources out there for both. If the story of Jesus’ birth shows us anything, it is that he What if, this Christmas, we knows what it is like to have the most inauspicious of beginnings, could find a way to reach out that he came to identify with those who were shunned by society, and that he came to rewrite the rules around who was accepted to those who are suffering and who was not. When Jesus says, later in his ministry: “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me some- One tradition I learned about earlier this year is the tradition of thing to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed Midrash: a Jewish method of interpretation and commentary that clothes and you clothed me, I was ill and you looked after me, I was involves the reader imagining what is happening in any ‘gaps’ in the in prison and you came to visit me…Truly I tell you, whatever you story, asking “What must it have been like to be there?” or “How did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did might this character be feeling?” Some of our own biblical study for me” (Matthew 25:35-36,40), he does so with a profound under- might have encouraged this. If we think about the story of Jesus’ standing of the impact a lack of basic needs can have. birth in this way, what might we see that we haven’t seen before? If How best can we remember Jesus during this season of you haven’t seen the BBC adaptation of the Nativity that graced our Advent as we wait to celebrate his birth? By including the outcast, screens a few years ago, do have a look for it. by extending hospitality to every child we meet in schools, by Jesus, the king of kings and creator of the universe was born to ensuring that our children are not left behind because of their a teenage single mum who knew the terror of risking everything difficult behaviour or lack of social etiquette, and by acting justly, with her pregnancy. He was born into a family that had been loving mercy and walking humbly with our God. displaced from their home town. He was born in the mud and muck of the animals because their wider family were not prepared to make space in their home for a young woman who JENNI OSBORN was very obviously near the end of her pregnancy. is head of further education studies at CYM.

November 50 Schools’ work: In action

Christmas ideas

To help you get ready for your Christmas ministry in Put Christmas into action schools, we’ve decided to do things slightly differently this As Jenni wrote in her article, Christmas is an ideal time to engage month. You don’t need us to convince you that exploring the young people with social action. There are many ways you can Christmas story is a good thing; you’ve probably got plenty get those in the clubs you run, or even whole classes or school of success stories yourself. So we’re going to give you two years, involved in a local project. There may be a local homeless pages of extra ideas you might like to try. Maybe you could charity or winter night shelter that needs funds or resources such use one or more of these to supplement what you’re already as bedding, towels or toiletries. Perhaps a nearby foodbank needs doing, and to connect with the idea Jenni explores in the ‘In help collecting food or packing parcels. Can you work out a few theory’ page: social action at Christmas. ways to get children or young people active in this? Why not use the story on the next page as a starting point to help Tell the story your young people think about what they can give? It sounds obvious, but we often dress up the Bible story of Christ- mas with extra ornamentation that it doesn’t need, and nowhere Run a mission is this truer than in schools. Have you ever sat through a school OK, so it might be a bit late to start preparations for a school Nativity featuring an octopus, a Big Mac and Lord Alan Sugar? I mission, but you could always start now for a 2020 mission. You haven’t seen one with that exact cast list, but you get the picture. could give a hand to Christian Unions or run something a bit less If you run a club in a school, why not find a good Christmas preparation-heavy. Festive, a charity that works in sixth forms drama and put that on with the children or young people in your and further education colleges, has some resources that might club? There are some decent ones, such as All Resource Christmas provide a good starting point. Visit festive.org.uk/archive to find (Scripture Union), and there’ll be one in the December issue of questionnaires and other outreach activities. Premier Youth and Children’s Work. Alternatively, you could write your own! Bless the school You could also create a walk-through story in a hall or along a Is there anything the school needs that you can provide as a corridor. Set up various stations for people to interact with (for Christmas present? I once heard the story of a church that example Mary and the angel, Joseph’s dream or the wise men provided a washing machine for a local school because children and Herod). This ‘third space’ idea will attract lots of footfall, so were turning up in dirty clothes. What could you bless your students are more likely to engage. local school with? Sets of reading books, perhaps, or extra art materials? It needn’t be anything as expensive or long-lasting as Run a prayer space a washing machine. Could you bring in some Christmas treats Many of us have already seen how effective running prayer for the staffroom? Or if the staffroom is normally awash with spaces in primary and secondary schools can be, and a Christmas treats at Christmastime (and who hasn’t scoffed a box of Buttered prayer space could be doubly effective. Having a big theme such Brazils before breakfast during the week before Christmas?), as the Christmas story to hang your prayer space on will give what else could you give to bless the staff? children and young people – and particularly those who are not part of a church community – a way into the activities you’re putting on as part of the space. Prayer Spaces in Schools has ALEX TAYLOR plenty of Christmas resources to help you, together with lots of is resources editor for Premier Youth and Children’s Work and a lover of practical help on starting from scratch. Check out the website: Christmas. prayerspacesinschools.com.

51 November Schools’ work: How to

daughter has the flu, which means they can’t come for Christmas either. A day later, his youngest son calls to say that he met someone on his latest business trip to Canada and they are making holiday plans together. Suddenly he is faced with spending Christmas alone. The rest of the week passes in a blur. He volunteers at his local foodbank, and as there is so much need at this time of year he has no time to think about anything else. His Bible readings tell of baby Jesus arriving in this world, and the man is taken aback by the inhospitality shown to this new family. “Surely I would have been happy to take them in,” he says to himself. As he drifts off to sleep, he remembers that he had made a pair of baby-sized leather boots years ago, that he hadn’t wanted to sell. “Well,” he thinks just as he drops off, “I’ll dig them out and give them to baby Jesus.” That night he dreams that Jesus is speaking directly to him: “I will come to you on Christmas Day. You will not be alone.” Later that day, the man recalls his idea, which suddenly feels more like a promise. He goes into his old workshop at the back of the house: “The boots will be in here somewhere,” he muses. He breathes in deeply as he enters his old workshop; memories of a life that had been full of family, along with the hustle and bustle of work, flood into his mind. “Where did I put them?” he mutters. Finding nothing in the workshop, he turns his attention to the house, searching through the nooks and crannies of long-for- gotten treasure. He comes across the wooden Nativity set he had made for the children when they were young, carrying it gently into the front room and setting it out. Eventually, in a box right at the back of the cupboard in the bedroom, he finds the boots. His heart lights up, and he takes them downstairs to place next to the fireplace. Exhausted, he sits down and falls asleep in his old armchair next to the fire. As the early light steals into the room, he wakes, cold and stiff from the night but immediately alert. Today is the day. Jesus is coming! He struggles out of the chair. Has he missed him? “No, it’s barely dawn,” he says to himself. Nonetheless, he opens his front door and steps out into the A special Christmas street. He sees a solitary street cleaner there. “Come in, it’s Christ- mas Day,” he calls. “I’m going to light the fire and make us a warm As schools’ workers we might have ‘done’ Christmas sever- drink.” al times over for several years in a row. It can feel like The cleaner stops working and enters the man’s home. an unending round of tinsel, ‘Away in a manger’, Advent The man is immediately busy with lighting the fire and boiling candles and trying to find a plausible connection between the kettle, gathering breakfast items to feed this visitor. As he ‘Jingle bells’ and the baby Jesus. This is especially true if finishes, he hears a cry in the street and opens the door again. A you’re also a youth or children’s worker, vicar or teacher, young mum with a crying baby is struggling with her buggy across where much advanced planning is needed. the street. “It’s Christmas Day!” he shouts. “Come in and warm In what I hope will be a helpful reflection on the coming of yourselves.” Jesus, let me tell you a story: The young woman looks at him gratefully, entering the room where the fire is blazing. As she removes the baby from the buggy, On an icy evening in November a man with a shock of white hair the man realises the infant has no shoes on his feet. In the kitchen sits beside his window looking out into the dark, empty street. His he prepares milk for the baby and breakfast for the young woman body is still but his mind is elsewhere, thinking about his belov- on autopilot, his mind busy with the quandary he sees before him. ed wife, who had died years before, and his children, all grown He had set his heart on giving the boots to Jesus, determined to up with families of their own in far-flung places. He is looking show his generosity to his Lord and Saviour, and yet here was this forward to seeing them for Christmas next week. young family, as cold and vulnerable as so many of those he saw The man’s daydreaming is interrupted as the phone rings. It’s regularly at the foodbank. his grandson, and he’s talking so fast he can hardly get his words With a sudden flash of certainty he realises who this young straight. “We won! We won!” is all the man can make out of the family is and what he must do: “For I was hungry and you gave babble. me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to Laughing at the excitement, he asks to speak to his son. “What drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and is it that has been won?” he asks. you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison “It’s an all-expenses-paid skiing trip over the Christmas break, and you came to visit me.” Dad,” comes the reply, “so we won’t be coming to yours after all. You don’t mind, do you?” The man smiles: “Of course not. Go and enjoy yourselves.” ADAPTED FROM LEO TOLSTOY’S PAPA PANOV’S SPECIAL The following day, the man’s daughter calls saying that her CHRISTMAS BY JENNI OSBORN.

November 52 Schools’ work: Your turn

Your Christmas plans

Your plans for Christmas at the schools you work in may have been laid for months, but you might still have space to include new ideas. Alternatively, you might want to tweak your plans to include some activities that will inspire your children and young people to think more widely about how they can get involved in social justice issues.

• What are you already doing this Christmas? Sketch it all out here.

• What spaces have you got? What might you need to include?

• Where might you be able to inspire children and young people to get involved in the local community? Where might these activities have long-lasting benefits or effects for the children and young people in the schools where you work?

• What about you? How can you get involved in community action projects this Christmas?

• How can you bless the students and staff you work with this Christmas?

53 November What’s in this month? 55 First Steps Together This month we explore the first chapters of Joshua. You’ll find one session of First Steps Together (for 56 Growing Together young children), one session of Growing Together (for older children) and one session of Journeying Together (for young people). The three other sessions for each age 57 Journeying Together group (and PDF versions of all sessions) are available for download at youthandchildrens.work/together. Plus we have all the regulars, including film and 58 Ready to use all-age service plan music activities, ideas for mentoring, games, an all-age service plan and more. 59 Ready to use parable & mentoring How do I use them? Our resources are designed to save you valuable planning 60 Ready to use games time, but remember to adapt them to fit your context. Cut what you don’t like, can’t do or have no time for. Or just use them as a springboard for your own ideas! 61 Ready to use craft Where can I find more advice? To delve more deeply into the thinking behind our 62 Ready to use movie & music resources, read Children’s Spirituality by Rebecca Nye; Will our Children have Faith? by John Westerhoff III; any of 63 Ready to use reflective journal the books coming out of the Faith Forward conference or some of the papers from Lifelong Faith journal.

NEXT MONTH – A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

Instead of the Together resources, we'll be bringing you party plans, dramas and more for you to use in your Christmas ministry. But don't worry, if you still need session plans, our previous years' material is available online.

For more resources and the rest of the Together session plans visit youthandchildrens.work/resources.

November 54 First steps together: For younger children

SESSION 1 of 4 BIBLE STORY CHATTING TOGETHER

Explain to the group that as you listen to Ask the children these questions, encour- today’s story you’re going to play Follow aging everyone to take turns to contribute Joshua the Leader. Joshua was able to be a brave, (use your object or cuddly toy if you passed strong leader because he knew that God one around earlier): MEETING AIM was with him. Invite the children to listen To discover that it’s OK to feel scared and carefully and watch for actions to copy. • What was your favourite part of the story? that we can have courage because God is You might want to teach them the actions • How do you think Joshua felt when God with us. before you read the story, or you can do told him he would lead all those people? them as you go along. • What does it mean to be brave? BIBLE PASSAGE • When do you need to be brave in your life? Joshua 1 God’s people had been wandering in the • How can God help you be brave? desert for a really long time: 40 years, in fact. BACKGROUND March on the spot. God had looked after them. Moses led the Israelites into the He had been teaching them how to trust and CREATIVE RESPONSE Promised Land, and when he died God listen to him. Cup your hand to your ear. chose Joshua to take over. Joshua, Moses had been leading the people. He You will need: badges or stickers with who began his life as a slave, became a had led them to the special land God had Joshua 1:9 printed on; collage materials; powerful leader who was used by God to promised them. March on the spot. Sadly, glue; pens or pencils lead an army to victory. Moses then died. Make a sad face. God God told Joshua to be strong and God tells Joshua to “be strong and gave them a new leader called Joshua. courageous because he was with him courageous” three times in Joshua 1. God spoke to Joshua: “I want you everywhere he went. God says we can be However, he isn’t telling Joshua to be to lead my people into the land I have brave because he is with us. Invite each brave and get over his fear; he’s telling him promised them. You need to get ready to child to decorate a badge or sticker they to have courage because God is with him. cross the Jordan River. Just like I promised can wear to remind them that God is with Moses, I will be with you everywhere you them wherever they go. go. No one will be able to hurt you. I will be As you chat, talk about the different CIRCLE TIME with you. Be strong and courageous. Listen times the children might need to be brave. to what I say and do what I ask you to do. What does God being with you feel like? Invite the children to sit together in a circle Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid Share a story from your own life to illustrate and encourage them to share stories from because I will be with you wherever you this so the children have an idea of how their week. Celebrate any birthdays or go.” Invite the children to come up with an this can be worked out in practice. special events. It can be helpful to have an action for ‘strong and courageous’. Copy the object or cuddly toy to pass around for the actions different children suggest. children to hold as they speak. Ask them: So Joshua told the people: “Go and get PRAYER “What helps you feel brave?” Thank God everyone ready. In three days’ time we’re that he’s with you and ask him to help you going to cross the river and take the land Invite the children to share a time or place learn more about him today. God is giving us.” Mime packing bags. where they don’t feel brave. Ask that God The people answered Joshua and said: would help them feel strong and coura- “We’ll do whatever you ask us and go geous, and to know that he is with them. INTRO ACTIVITY wherever you send us. We did what Moses Pray this prayer together: asked us to do, and we will do the same for You will need: a box; a blindfold; various you. We pray that God will be with you just Thank you, God, that you are always with us items with different textures, such as soft as he was with Moses. We will protect you. wherever we go. Invite the children to name fabric, rough sandpaper and water Be strong and courageous!” Do one or two all the different places they go. Thank you, Invite a child to be blindfolded and place of the actions the children thought of earlier. God, that you are with me. Amen. one of the items in the box. Invite the Joshua was probably nervous. Moses blindfolded children to put a hand inside had been a really great leader, and the the box and guess what the item is. Let Promised Land God said they would live in them take it in turns while you put lots of already had people in it. It wasn’t going to different things to feel inside. be easy for them! Chat about how it might feel a bit scary In this part of the Bible, God tells Joshua to be blindfolded and not know what you’re to be “strong and courageous” three times. about to feel. He doesn’t just say: “Be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid.” He says: “Be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because I am with you.” God was with Joshua. Do another ‘strong and courageous’ action. ANNIE WILLMOT is a children’s worker and mum to two boys. She loves nothing more than an honest conversation and a good cup of tea.

For the rest of this month’s sessions go to youthandchildrens.work/together.

55 November Growing together: For older children

SESSION 1 of 4 BIBLE STORY CHATTING TOGETHER

You will need: lining paper; pens Use the following questions as prompts for Begin by recapping with the children how discussion. Encourage the children to think Joshua God had promised Abraham that one day about what the passage might be saying to his descendants would live in the Promised them and how it could be applied to their MEETING AIM Land (Genesis 15) and how God had used everyday lives. Try to encourage wondering, To explore how God encouraged Joshua Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery in reminding them that there isn’t necessarily before he led the Israelites on the final leg Egypt and toward this land (Exodus 13-14). a single right answer. of their journey into the Promised Land. Explain to the group that Moses ‘passed on the baton’ of being the Israelite leader • God had a big job for Joshua to do, but BIBLE PASSAGE to Joshua just before he died. It’s a bit like he has jobs for all of us to do every day. Joshua 1 a relay race, where someone passes the What things might God want us to do? baton on for someone else to run the next • Joshua had a daunting task and was BACKGROUND part of the race. Moses handed over to going into the unknown. Do we have Joshua followed in the footsteps of Joshua so he could run the fi nal leg of a things in our lives that feel a bit like seasoned leader Moses, and was given very long, historical journey. It was Joshua’s that? the daunting task of guiding the Israelites job to fi nish the race and lead the Israelites • What might God say to encourage us in into the Promised Land. God’s words of into the Promised Land. the tasks the has given us or to help us reassurance just before Joshua took on Ask the children to shout out words that if we are feeling afraid or nervous? this role didn’t focus on his gifts, skills describe how Joshua might have felt when or experience, though he no doubt had he found out about his task. Give small these. Instead, this passage shows us groups of children a sheet of lining paper CREATIVE RESPONSE that, above all our abilities, the greatest each. Encourage them to draw around a thing we need to know when we face person in their group, then draw or write You will need: old maps or images of maps unknown or difficult situations is that God things that they think make a good leader printed out; pens and scissors promises to be with us. onto the person outline. Provide the children with the maps (or When the children have had time to pictures of maps). Encourage them to draw refl ect, encourage them to share their around their foot on the map and cut it out. CIRCLE TIME ideas. Notice with them any trends in their Ask them to copy Joshua 1:9 onto their thoughts. Are they predominantly skills, outline or draw a picture that reminds them Gather the children together for a time to talents or experiences? Are they things that of today’s session. As you work, continue catch up, build relationships and refl ect anyone can learn? Or qualities that some your chat about the story. Some children on the week just gone. Have people share people have and others don’t? might be worried about situations they are exciting news such as birthdays, trips or Ask someone to pretend to be a leader facing, so seek to reassure them that God events. You might like to use the following like Joshua (this could be a child or a will be with them. They should take the question to start the conversation as a leader). Invite the children to share any cutout home as a reminder that, just as God light-hearted way into today’s theme: “What is words they might say to encourage them promised to be with Joshua, he promises to the bravest thing you have ever done?” before a big job. be with us, whatever we face. Read Joshua 1:1-9 in a dramatic voice. Explain that this is what God said to INTRO ACTIVITY Joshua to encourage him at the start of his PRAYER daunting task. Wonder together about what You will need: relay batons (these could be else God could have said to encourage You will need: relay baton(s) from ‘Intro made from rolls of newspaper held secure Joshua, and why he might have chosen to activity’ with sticky tape) say what he did. Try to draw out the idea Encourage the children to think quietly or Hold a relay race with the children. Split the that God didn’t list all of Joshua’s gifts and share openly about situations in which group into teams and line them up at one skills, or the qualities he had that made they would like God to give them courage. end of the room. Provide the fi rst player him a good leader, like the ones we came Sit or stand in a circle and pass the baton in each team with a relay baton. On your up with earlier. Instead, God told Joshua around the group. When each child has shout, the fi rst player must run to a marked that he should stay close to him and follow the baton they should pray for the person spot at the other end of the room and back the instructions for living that he had given next to them, either aloud or in their head. again before passing the baton to the next to Moses. He reminded him to be “brave, In a larger group you may need to hand out teammate. Once every team member has strong, bold and courageous” because God multiple batons to speed this up. run, the team should sit on the fl oor. The would be with him wherever he went. fi rst team to fi nish is the winner. If you have a small group you could do this as one team, doing the activity twice and timing each go, challenging them to beat their previous time on the second go.

EMMA DOBSON is an experienced children’s worker in west London.

For the rest of this month’s sessions go to youthandchildrens.work/together.

November 56 Journeying together: For young people

SESSION 1 of 4 One day the person of your dreams • How does it happen in the movies? Does stops at the pond and looks at you, then it happen like that in real life? says: “I’m going to break the spell and • How many of these characteristics do reveal who you really are…and give you the you personally have? How could you Joshua life you most want in the world.” The person cultivate more? kisses you on your warty, froggy nose. • What does God hope you will be like one MEETING AIM Who do you turn into? Where do you live, day? To reflect on leadership and how we and what is your life like? Ask them to write • What raw materials is God looking for can be leaders like Joshua was to God’s their answers on the paper and all reveal in order to develop you into all that you people. them at the same time. Go around the could be? group to discuss their answers. BIBLE PASSAGE Ask the young people to imagine that they Joshua 1 are leaders in their own community. What BIBLE EXPLORATION big idea could bring everyone more together? BACKGROUND What characteristics would you need in order This passage marks a change for the You will need: story from youthandchil- to be trusted (for example, people may need people of God. Moses – who had led drens.work/resources to feel listened to, they might need a credible them from Egypt to the very borders Before the session, download the story Christian to be inspired by or they may need a of the Promised Land – has died and from youthandchildrens.work/resources business leader to help them create income they now have a new leader, Joshua. and either practise telling it yourself or ask and employment in their neighbourhood). Joshua was Moses’ apprentice, but now someone else in the group to prepare it. What resources does your community he has to step into leadership at a very Gather everyone together and invite them need in order to thrive and become a uncertain time. There are difficult times to listen to the story. Explain that Moses has ‘promised land’? This could be better public ahead, and Joshua needs to depend just died and that God has appointed Joshua spaces, more jobs and investment, more on God. Fortunately, God gives him the as the new leader of his people. Joshua had time to spend together, a common thing to reassurance he needs to take on the been Moses’ apprentice as the Israelites – be proud of as a community, or more to do task. This session focuses on helping the the people of God – wandered through the generally so there is less crime and violence. young people think about leadership and desert toward the promised land. Give the group (working alone, in pairs depending on God, as Joshua did. Once the story is over, ask the young or all together) time to work some of this people to give their fi rst impressions of out and write down some ideas. If working what they have heard. together, use large sheets of paper so that GATHERING TIME everyone can contribute. Come back together after a few minutes and share your thoughts. Welcome the young people and spend CHATTING TOGETHER some time chatting about their week. Ask the groups some questions, such as: what Ask someone, or a couple of people, to sum PRAYER is the best chocolate in a box of Celebra- up the story. Use the following questions to tions? How many colours are there in a start the discussion: You will need: community ideas from rainbow? KFC or McDonald’s? Would you ‘Creative response’; music and the means rather live by the sea or in the mountains? • What is the main theme of this story for to play it Which house from Harry Potter would you you? Play some worship music. On their own be in? Would you rather be a giant hamster • What advice do you have for Joshua in or in groups, encourage the young people with a trunk or a tiny elephant? terms of becoming all that he could be? to refl ect on their community ideas and to • What should Joshua do after this pray into these areas. Ask them to pray for episode? What are the most important provision from God but also for inspiration INTRO ACTIVITY things for him to do in the days that about how they could act or intervene followed? How can he establish himself themselves. If they can’t be superheroes You will need: paper and pens as a great leader of the Israelites? in their community alone, how could they Ask everyone to imagine they are in the • What is God saying to you through this combine to start meet some of the needs? following fairy tale: story? Pray for wisdom about this, but focus on the people who need God’s help. Pray You are a frog. You have been a frog for as for those in positions of power politically long as you can remember, but you have a CREATIVE RESPONSE (councillors and MPs), but also for religious nagging feeling this is not who you really leaders, community leaders and other role are. From your lily pad on the pond you see You will need: paper; marker pens models in sport, art and charity work. all kind of spectacular things going on in Put the young people into pairs. Ask them the world: business people creating exciting to write a list of the ten most important companies and making money; beautiful attributes that all great leaders must have. people appearing in adverts and singing Once everyone has fi nished, discuss their to thousands on stage; people building answers as a whole group. Then ask the JOEL TOOMBS families and laughing together as they grow following questions: has an MA in Christian mentoring and wrote the old in ivy-clad cottages; adventurous types Grove booklet Mentoring and Young People. He is a base jumping, mountain biking, swimming • Do most great leaders have all of these volunteer youth worker. across lakes and hiking across Asia; attributes when they start out? doctors curing diseases; and princesses • How do they get them? For the rest of this month’s sessions go to and princes leading the people. youthandchildrens.work/together.

57 November Ready to use all-age service

Crossing God had rescued the people of Israel from Give the groups time to chat about these slavery in Egypt, and had promised to take questions, referring back to the Bible them into a new land that they could make passage if they need to. the river their home. However, the Israelites had turned their back on him time and again, so they had to wander around the desert REVIEW MEETING AIM for 40 years before they were able to come To reflect on God’s faithfulness and to their new home. But fi nally they were You will need: a roving mic (if needed) consider how we can rely on him. there, standing on the banks of the River Ask for feedback on questions two and Jordan and looking across the water at the three from ‘Small groups’, using a micro- BIBLE PASSAGE Promised Land. Stand next to your river and phone to hear people’s contributions if your Joshua 3-4 point across to the other side. meeting space is large. Their leader Joshua spent time with BACKGROUND God, and God told him what the people God tells Joshua to build a monument needed to do. They had to make them- RESPONSE ACTIVITIES from stones brought up from the Jordan selves acceptable to God and be ready to as a memorial of what he has done in cross into the new land. Joshua told the Set these three activities up in different stopping the river for them. In this service priests to pick up the Ark of the Covenant parts of your meeting space. Explain what we invite people to create their own – the sacred box that symbolised God’s each one is and encourage people to go to memorials of what God has done for them presence with his people – and walk to the the one that will help them process what to serve as reminders that we can rely on edge of the river. Ask for some volunteers they have discovered most effectively. him in the future. to pick up your box using the handles and stand at the edge of the blue material. OPTION 1: Stone decorating As soon as their feet touched the water You will need: smooth, fl at pebbles; art WELCOME ACTIVITIES the river stopped fl owing. It backed up materials further upstream, and dry land appeared in Invite those who choose this option to OPTION ONE: Junk modelling front of them. Roll back the blue material to use the art materials to decorate a stone. You will need: junk, such as boxes, reveal dry land and some of the shoeboxes. Encourage them to think about what God cardboard tubes, yogurt pots and kitchen The priests walked into the centre of has done for them that they can create a foil; sticky tape; scissors; glue sticks the river. Ask them to do so. The people of memorial for. Encourage the congregation to form small God could cross the River Jordan without groups around piles of junk. Challenge even getting their feet wet! Ask for some OPTION 2: Discussion everyone to work together to create a volunteers to be the people of God and You will need: volunteers to facilitate statue or memorial. Set a time limit, then cross the river with you. discussion; paper and pens get each group to show off their creation Joshua told one person from each of Gather people together in small groups, and explain what it’s about. (You could do the twelve tribes of Israel to collect a stone each with a facilitator, and challenge them this as an activity for people to join in with from the riverbed and bring it across with to think about the difference everything as they arrive.) them. Ask your ‘people of God’ volunteers they have discovered today will make in to collect the shoeboxes and bring them their lives. OPTION TWO: Quiz across. He told them to use the stones to You will need: photos of famous monu- build a monument as a way of remember- OPTION 3: Psalm writing ments (local, national and international) ing what God had done. They do so. Finally, You will need: Bibles; pens and paper Before the service, collect together ten the priests carrying the ark walked up the Ask people to write a song or poem to God or so photos of famous monuments and bank and the waters fl owed again. They do that celebrates what he has done for them, put them into a PowerPoint presentation. so. Roll out the blue material once more. using the book of Psalms as their inspira- Make sure you include some that children Joshua told the people: “When your tion. If people are struggling for ideas they and young people will recognise. Have a children ask you what these stones mean, could use the format of Psalm 136 as a quiz to see how many people recognise. tell them what God did for you today!” starting point. Can they identify what the monuments commemorate? SMALL GROUPS CLOSING

BIBLE STORY You will need: copies of the questions Bring everyone back together and ask if below; Bibles anyone would like to share what they did, You will need: a large box; two long garden Break into small groups made up of one or thought about or discussed during the canes or broom handles; twelve shoeboxes two families, or different mixed-age groups. response time. Thank everyone for taking (or similar-sized boxes); blue fabric Give each group a copy of these questions part and say an appropriate blessing to Before the service, stick the two canes or and a Bible: close the service. handles onto the large box, one on each side. Leave an equal length extending • What did you like about the story? at both ends so that it can be carried by • What surprised you? volunteers at the front and back. Spread the • Why did the people build a monument? blue material out across the front of your • What does this story tell you about God? meeting space to represent the River Jordan, • What could you build a monument for in ALEX TAYLOR positioning the shoeboxes in and around the your life? What has God done for you? is resources editor for Premier Youth and ‘water’. Then tell the following story: Children’s Work.

November 58 Ready to use parable Ready to use mentoring

Mr Clifford and the The mint theft caretakers of calamity On every journey we take, my son pesters me to have one of the mints I keep in the car. The other day I said he could have one and Cliff Clifford was in a quandary. His job would take him to Berlin he secretly took several, but I noticed…and totally blew my top for a few months, but he didn’t want the youth group he ran to with him. Whoops! close. After all, there weren’t many places young people could go In my mind this anger was about his bad behaviour. What it to hang out in Manchesterford. is more likely, however, is that it was really about several things: His regular volunteer helpers couldn’t take it on as they all had my annoyance that he hadn’t cleaned out the chicken coop last full-time jobs. What about churches? Cli ff wondered. His vicar had Saturday…and, in fact, resentment about all the times he hasn’t already told him she couldn’t take it on, but there was another parish done what he was told. So it was about unresolved issues and a just on his doorstep. He had met the vicar there, Rev Pat Harisee, a harbouring of unforgiveness. Yikes. few times, and he seemed OK. Clive quickly fi red off an email. It was also my own impatience issues and perhaps a bit of It wasn’t long before a reply landed in his inbox. “Cliff! Lovely to greed about having my own stash of mints! There was probably hear from you. Yes, I’d love to take on the youth group. Let’s meet some short temper from being overtired from my busy life with to chat more about it.” work and four kids; perhaps a little anger at my own sins and Cliff punched the air. Success! shortcomings; maybe a touch of stress from pressures at work; Over the next few weeks, meetings were had, safeguarding and perhaps a few deep Freudian issues stemming from my checks were made, volunteers were introduced and trial sessions relationship with my dad! I think you get the picture. There are were run. Pat Harisee appeared to be the perfect fi t for the job. He always more reasons than the obvious ones. seemed to get on well with the young people and their parents. It has been said that anger (or unforgiveness and resentment) By the time Cliff boarded the plane to Germany he was more than is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. What satisfi ed that the youth club was in safe hands. does anger do for us? I suppose it motivates us to challenge or Things seemed fi ne for a week or so, but then Cliff started change things that make us unhappy or uncomfortable. Perhaps it to get worrying tweets and texts about the club. He’d muted the raises bravery within us, which we might need to defend ourselves. volunteers’ WhatsApp group when he left, but he reopened it to Of course, we can have righteous anger about things that are see what people were saying. Most of the messages started with: not right in the world. However, I struggle to fi nd many situations “Did you see what Pat did this evening?” where anger does much more than heighten our own selfi shness Cliff couldn’t believe it. He decided to ask whether his own and entitlement. We get angry when things don’t go our way or vicar could pay Pat a visit to fi nd out what was happening. A when people don’t do what we want or expect them to. couple of days later his vicar sent him an email, and one particular What can we learn about ourselves each time we get angry? It section gave him a shock: “I tried to talk to Pat about the club, but is important to understand when anger is positive and helping us, he got angry and threw me out of his vicarage! I got stuck in his and when it is negative and damaging to us. porch for 20 minutes. I couldn’t open the front door!” Draw a line as below. At one end write ‘About me’ and at the Cliff had a son, Riff, who was 23. He decided to ask Riff to go other ‘About others’. Ask your mentee to list a few times when and see Pat. Cliff sent him a message: “Go and see P.Harisee. they remember getting angry or annoyed this week. Choose one to Worried about youth club. What’s going on?” write above the line. Below each heading, ask them to list as many things as possible they have learned from that anger. When the list DISCUSSION QUESTIONS is exhausted, put a line through the answers and add fi ve more! • What do you think Pat Harisee will do when Riff visits him? The crossed-out answers will be the overly obvious ones, so wait • Should Cliff have left the youth club in Pat’s hands? in silence until they can add two more, then one more. This bit • Why do you think Pat isn’t looking after the youth club well? can be awkward, but push it as far as you can. Sometimes a bit of What do you think of his actions? awkwardness is the only way to get to the real answers below the • If you were part of the youth club, how would you have felt surface; to get your mentee to think beyond what they feel they about what was going on? should say and refl ect more deeply about what is really going on.

This story is based on Matthew 21:33-46. Read this passage to the group and compare Jesus’ story and words with this one. Discuss what Jesus might have been saying through his parable, MINT-THEFT EPISODE encouraging the group to think about it in a new way. About myself About others

• I need to talk to him • He likes mints. about our relationship • He’ll take liberties given and clean the slate. the chance. • I need to forgive him. • My short temper is more about deep unresolved issues in me.

ALEX TAYLOR JOEL TOOMBS is resources editor for Premier Youth and Children’s Work. has an MA in Christian mentoring and wrote the Mentoring and Young People Grove booklet. He is a volunteer youth worker.

59 November Ready to use games

Bonfire games

If you’re having a Bonfire Night party, here are some games to HOT POTATO go alongside your fireworks and hotdogs. In fact, these games would be suitable for whenever you have a campfire as they are all You will need: a large baking potato (or tennis ball); a stopwatch, designed to be played outside. You might need to risk-assess them, smartphone or kitchen timer but then you’ll need to risk-assess your whole Bonfire Party, so Stand everyone in a circle and give one person the potato (or ball). another line on the assessment isn’t going to create much hassle. Set a random time on the stopwatch or phone (anything between ten and 30 seconds) and press start. The players should pass the potato around the circle by throwing it to the person next to them. The person left holding the potato when the timer goes off is out POCKET ROCKET and should sit down. Keep playing until you have a winner.

You will need: camera fi lm cannisters (available online); antacid tablets (fi zzing ones such as Alka-Seltzer); water; safety goggles Take the top off the cannisters and put a teaspoon of water in CAMPFIRE STORYTELLING the bottom. Give everyone half an antacid tablet. With everyone wearing safety goggles, each person should drop the half-tablet Sit the group around the campfi re and challenge them to tell a story. into the cannister in turn and snap the lid on very quickly. Turn the You could tell it with each player saying a word or sentence in turn. cannister upside-down (so that the lid is on the fl oor) and retreat to The story will probably lose any sense quite quickly, but that’s all part a safe distance. After around ten seconds the cannister will fl y into of the fun. For an extra challenge, give each player a word they have to the air. (If the rocket doesn’t pop, wait about 30 seconds before insert into the story, such as trombone, fl amingo, porridge or jitterbug. going back to it.) Once everyone has taken a turn, decide whose Alternatively, give out pens and slips of paper and ask the rocket went the highest. players to write down the name of a person, a place and an object on separate pieces of paper. Collect them in and ask everyone to choose one of each. The aim is to create a story that features these three suggestions. TARGET ROCKET EXPLOSIONS

You will need: squeezy bottles (such as washing-up-liquid bottles); watered-down poster paint; a target drawn on a large sheet of HOTDOG-EATING CONTEST paper; chalk Stick the target to a wall and mark out a line that is a few metres You will need: hotdog sausages; hotdog rolls; ketchup; mustard; away from the target. Give each person (or small team of people fried onions; alternatives for those with different dietary require- if you have a large group) a squeezy bottle fi lled with a different ments; a stopwatch or smartphone coloured poster paint. Standing behind the line, they should take Work with your group to create a champion hotdog using the various turns to ‘fi re’ their paint at the target. elements you have available. Make three or four, then invite some Award points for the person who gets closest to the centre of volunteers to come forward and attempt to be the quickest at eating the target, but also for the most attractive ‘starburst’ and the most the champion hotdog. Line your volunteers up at the front and get the fl amboyant fi ring style! others to cheer for all the competitors. On the signal to begin, start the timer. The volunteers have to eat the hotdog as quickly as they can. If you have more volunteers, make up more hotdogs and hold another contest. Declare the person with the quickest time the winner. CATHERINE WHEEL FRISBEE

You will need: a light-up frisbee (available online); torches or smartphones (optional); chalk or cones HUMAN FIREWORKS Mark out a court in your outside space using the chalk or cones. Create a large central section with a ‘touch-down’ zone at either end. Divide your group into smaller teams. Challenge each team to create a Divide your players into two teams and position them in the mime or dance that represents a fi rework going off using their bodies. large central part of the court. Assign a touch-down zone to each They can create their own sound effects to add to their performances. team. The players have to pass the light-up frisbee between them Once everyone is ready, get each team to perform their ‘fi reworks’ and and try to get it into their touch-down zone. One of their players ask a couple of leaders to decide which is the best. has to catch it in the zone to score a point. If they drop the frisbee it doesn’t count! Set a time limit; the team with most points at the end of the game is the winner. If you don’t have quite enough light to play outside, give each ALEX TAYLOR player a torch or encourage them to use the one on their phones. is resources editor for Premier Youth and Children’s Work.

November 60 Ready to use craft

Rahab

Rahab is recognised by the writer of Hebrews as a woman of faith, and her story in the book of Joshua has a number of threads for us to explore creatively. The following craft ideas will help children look at the themes of strength, bravery, friendship, hiddenness and identity.

WINDOW SIGNS

You will need: sticky-backed plastic; plain and patterned paper; paper STRONG HEARTS shapes; feathers; sequins; pens; scissors; glue When the spies leave Rahab they tell her to put a scarlet cord in her You will need: Lego blocks; pictures of Lego hearts to help children window as a sign to keep her and everyone in her house safe. This with building (see above) craft lets children create a sign to go in their own windows that will Rahab is brave, strong and clever. She helps the spies, but also tell other people something about who they are. makes sure that she and her family will receive protection from Cut pieces of paper to A6 size and get the children to decorate them in return. This craft builds a strong construction that is very them as an expression of their personalities. Cut out A5-sized pieces securely put together. It can also be used as a starting point to of sticky-backed plastic. Take the cover off the plastic and place the discuss what it means to be brave, to protect and to be kind. decorated paper, face up, on top of the sticky side. You will now have Use Lego blocks to build hearts. There are many ways this can the decorated paper facing you, surrounded by a sticky margin. Use be done. The photo shows two different examples, but children will the margin to stick the creation face-to-window so that people outside no doubt fi nd their own ways as well! Use the construction time to can discover something about the identity of those living in the house. talk about strength and bravery.

HIDDEN SURPRISE BISCUITS

You will need: 100g plain fl our; 50g butter; 20g sugar; pinch of salt; eight small squares of chocolate; a mixing bowl; a wooden spoon or RELATIONSHIP CORDS electric mixer; a baking tray; an oven Rahab reveals her friendship and bravery by hiding the spies in her house. You will need: ribbons in at least three colours (roughly 20cm long) These biscuits are a hands-on way to explore this theme of hiding. Rahab shows her friendship to the spies in hiding them, but she is Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cream together the butter and sugar until also concerned about her family when they return. This story is all light and fl uffy, then mix in the fl our and salt until a dough is formed. about relationships with different people and with God. This craft Split the dough into eight pieces and fl atten each piece out. Put a square helps to explore that intertwining of people. of chocolate in the centre of each piece of dough, then close the dough Ask the children to choose lengths of ribbon to correspond with around the chocolate until it is completely covered. Make sure there are the characters in the story. Plait them together and use the time to no gaps or the melted chocolate will seep out and spoil the surprise! discuss the relationships in the story, the relationships children have Place them on a greased baking tray and bake for 10-12 minutes. Allow with others and what it means to have a relationship with God. to cool. Bite the biscuits open to reveal the hidden chocolate.

MINA MUNNS is founder of Flame: Creative Children’s Ministry flamecreativekids.blogspot.co.uk.

61 November Ready to use movie and music

Stranger than Fiction (12) Higher love

CLIP ONE: 00:00:00 – 00:06:40 ARTIST: Kygo and Whitney Houston CLIP TWO: 00:20:33 – 00:21:46 SUITABLE FOR: 10s to 13s

SYNOPSIS INTRODUCTION The life of Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) – a taxman with obsessive At a time when many high-profi le Christian leaders have been compulsive disorder – is turned upside-down when he hears a voice publicly struggling with their faith, this song, and the session, in his head that narrates all aspects of his average and boring exist- provides an opportunity to explore what it means to wrestle with the ence. As the fi lm develops we discover that the voice in his head is an big questions while walking with God. author (Emma Thompson) with writer’s block who just so happens to As you begin the session, set up a graffi ti wall with marker pens be planning on killing off Harold’s character in her latest book. and lining paper, then invite your young people to add their own ‘big Following the revelation that he is going to die, Harold must fi nd the life questions’ to the board. Explain that many songs point to this soul author of the story (and ultimately his life) to convince her to change searching and can help us articulate exactly what we are wondering the ending before it’s too late. about. We are not alone in asking these questions; people have searched The fi rst clip for this session sets the scene for the fi lm and for meaning in life throughout history. But this group is a safe place for introduces us to the character of Harold Crick. Through the narration us to discuss some of them. and on-screen graphics we learn that Harold lives a very ordered life consisting of unbreakable routines and actions. Following this routine LISTEN AND DISCUSS every day has led to him becoming rather solitary, as he lives alone Play the track, distributing copies of the lyrics if you think it would and doesn’t engage with the outside world. be helpful and inviting the young people to sing along if they so Harold’s life is turned upside-down, however, when we discover wish. After listening to the track, discuss the following questions: that he can hear the narration of his life. This leads to him becoming confused and trying to investigate the source of the voice. In the • Which of these lyrics can you most easily relate to? second short clip we see Harold at a bus stop. As he waits for the • Have you heard other people ask questions like this? bus, the narrator alerts him to the fact that his recently stopped watch • How would you answer this singer? has sparked a series of events that will lead to his impending death. Help the young people to share their ideas. Explain that when we hear DISCUSS searching like this we may desperately want to point to Jesus as the After showing the clips as a stimulus, break into small discussion source of the highest love. But even when we know that to be true we groups (you may wish to have a designated discussion leader in each can still be left with unanswered questions. There will still be things in group) and discuss the following questions: life that we cannot fully understand. And that’s OK. It doesn’t diminish who Jesus is; it just recognises the complexity of life. • How would you describe the life of Harold Crick? (Try to think Distribute Bibles and invite the young people to look at the book of positively and negatively.) Ecclesiastes. Depending on your young people, you may fi nd it helpful • What would the narrator of your life say about your weekly to summarise this book, encouraging them to fl ick through as you do routines and habits? so and point out the rhythm of the writing: “Life is meaningless…but • Is it good to know or anticipate a future outcome before it God…” Share a few extracts. happens? How does that impact on our actions? Ask the young people how the passages you shared relate to • How do you think Harold will respond to the suggestion that his the song and to the questions they wrote at the start of the session. death may be imminent? Ecclesiastes reminds us of the complexity we have explored during this session. We can have total trust in Jesus and believe that he is Many themes could be explored from this fi lm, from existentialism the ‘higher love’ this singer is searching for, while still wrestling with to prophecy to control versus fate. To explore further, read Jeremiah our big questions. The reality is that we live in a broken world, and 29:10-14 together, then return to your smaller groups and discuss the because of that things do not always make sense in the way they will following questions: one day, when God’s kingdom reigns. As you draw the session to a close, gather the young people • Verse 11 is a popular one for Christians. Does it imply that we together around the question board. Encourage them to see your have no free will? group as a safe place where they can always bring their questions • Is it wrong to use verse 11 in other areas of our lives? and struggles as you collectively make sense of what it means to • Is this an encouraging verse to hear? follow God, despite any struggles people may be facing. • What are the requirements God has of his people in the passage?

Stranger than Fiction is now available to stream on Netfl ix.

TOM WADE BECKY MAY is the head of philosophy and theology at Haileybury and Imperial Service College. is a freelance writer and experienced children’s and youth leader. She can be found at theresourcescupboard.co.uk.

November 62 Ready to use reflective journal JESUS, BE THE CENTRE

HEBREWS 12:2 (THE MESSAGE) SAYS: “KEEP YOUR EYES ON JESUS, WHO BOTH BEGAN AND FINISHED THIS RACE WE’RE IN.” It can be hard to keep Jesus in focus at the centre of our lives, as there is so much else to distract us. The good news is that Jesus is interested in all those distracting things. Use this sheet to focus on Jesus and to bring to him anything that distracts or bothers you.

Write ‘Jesus’ in the triangle or doodle a picture or symbol to represent him as you decide to make him your centre of attention right now.

In the shapes around the central triangle, think about what things threaten to crowd Jesus out of your centre. Write, doodle or colour those things one after another as you bring them to Jesus. Say ‘sorry’ for the times when you’ve focused on unhealthy things, and ask him for help with the things that worry you. Jesus is interested in all these things and cares about every aspect of your life, so you can entrust them to him.

SARA AND SAM HARGREAVES lead engageworship.org, resourcing and training for creative and world-changing worship.

63 November Walton on Thames, Surrey Contact Youth and Children’s Worker Tel 0207 316 1413 Web www.premierjobsearch.co.uk Part time: 12 hours per week Email [email protected] Post 22 Chapter Street, London, SW1P 4NP Salary: £7,800 Per Annum

We are seeking someone with plenty of energy, a sense of fun and a heart for bringing the gospel to young people. Rates Artwork Deadlines You will be responsible for providing the leadership, growth and pastoral Jobsearch ads are £37 per single centimetre column. For a quote please send text in an email attaching The fi nal copy deadline for print advertising is the of our youth and children’s work, as well as starting some new projects. For example a 5cm up x 2 column across is £370.00 high-res jpeg or pdf images/logos to 4th of every month. + VAT. Discounts available for series bookings. [email protected]. All artwork, amendments and payments must be You will be a practicing Christian with vision, motivation and a self-starter. Rates may vary for special issues. See full media pack If designing your own artwork please adhere fi nalised by this date. Bookings made after this date HIRING NOW You will have experience of working with children and young people and on www.premierjobsearch.co.uk for full details. to our dimensions as specifi ed in the rate card. will appear in the next issue of the magazine. either have, or, be working towards an appropriate professional youth Are you passionate about reaching young people with the good worker qualifi cation endorsed by the National Youth Workers Association. news of Jesus? Across the UK, we’re looking for people to join our team to take the gospel into communities, churches and prisons. An enhanced DBS disclosure is required for this post.

Opportunities include: For an application pack please email: • Prison Outreach Workers [email protected] • Message Bus Project Leaders Closing date: 6 December 2019. Interview date: TBA, with a fl exible start date. FOR North • Eden Team Leaders PASTOR Yorkshire Coast Full training is provided for all roles. DISCIPLESHIP BEST NOT-FOR- For more information and to apply head to PROFIT TO WORK Methodist FOR 2018 EVANGELISM & Circuit Youth Team Leader message.org.uk/joinus 37 hours per week (16+21) We are seeking someone to lead our ministry Looking to be trained in evangelism? Salary starts at £12.99 p/h • 5 year appointment We’re looking for 18–25 year olds to and outreach amongst 11-18s both in the church join the Message Academy year long and the local community. programme in September 2020. Find Head of Buildings & Estate out more at message.org.uk/joinus WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO: For more information please visit: This is an exciting and challenging opportunity for Support Burniston Methodist Support the Circuit someone with Forestry, Land and Buildings Management and good interpersonal skills to use them in a Christian Church in delivering its Leadership Team by taking www.sunnysidechurch.org.uk context in one of the most beautiful places in Britain. mission policy and leading the lead in discipleship CHRIST CHURCH, SIDCUP the church in discipleship and evangelism, working Welcoming over 8000 guests a year, the ministry of Lee MINISTER FOR YOUTH AND CHILDREN Abbey on the 288-acre estate benefits from being in an and evangelism, enabling the in consultation with the Christ Church, Sidcup, is looking for a Jesus-loving, gospel-preaching, Bible- area of the Exmoor National Park, with outstanding beauty, whole church to grow and Circuit and its churches to teaching Minister for Youth and Children to take hands-on leadership of 11-18s special scientific interest and host to over 300 plant species. make disciples of Jesus. identify opportunities for new Heaton Baptist Church ministry and to oversee all our Church-based children’s work. Working in partnership with Warden, Senior Leadership (16 hours per week) initiatives. (21 hours per week) Hours: Full-time. Salary: £25,640 p.a. and Board of Trustees, this exciting role will assist in For job description and how to apply, visit: www.christchurchsidcup.org.uk giving direction and leadership of the vision of Lee Employment pack and further information: Children’s Ministry Team Leader Closing date: Friday 29th November. Abbey (Devon) in continuing to develop the five to ten- [email protected] or Tel: 01723 355429 Part-time: 20 hours per week (including Sunday mornings) Anticipated start date: After Easter 2020 year strategic plan for the Buildings and Estate. Do www.northyorkscoastmethodist.org.uk you have experience and a proven track record? Are Salary: £10-15k (dependent on experience) This post is subject to enhanced DBS clearance in line with Diocese of Rochester Safeguarding and Safer Recruitment policies. you a team leader/player? Do you sense a call to use Deadline: 12 noon, 14th November 2019 these gifts in the inspiring context of an international Interviews: 26th November 2019 We are seeking a strategic, creative Christian leader with a Christian Community, Retreat and Conference Centre? heart for children (from age 0-11). The successful applicant will have responsibility for leading a team of Junior Church You will also take an active role in the worship, creative and The Faraday Institute for Science And Religion serving aspects of our life. The position is residential with volunteers and will have a track record of developing new an allowance, accommodation and full board provided. opportunities within the wider community to share the Gospel Job Vacancy: Director with young children. Closing date for applications: 30 November 2019 For further details and an application pack please contact Personnel: The Faraday Institute for Science and Religion, a registered UK We o er excellent conditions of service with a benefi ts package, Personnel, Lee Abbey, Lynton, educational charity based in Cambridge, is seeking a new Director to including a pension scheme and 25 days annual leave pro-rata. North Devon EX35 6JJ start a full-time position during 2021. The new Director will be a present Tel: 01598 754250 or previous scientist with a strong background in the fi eld of science E-mail: [email protected] There is a genuine occupational requirement for the post-holder to be Online: www.leeabbeydevon.org.uk/apply and religion, with experience of leading a research and dissemination a Christian. This post will be subject to an enhanced DBS check. enterprise, and of fund-raising. The Director must be in agreement with the Christian ethos of the Institute. The salary will be commensurate with the successful candidate’s background and qualifi cations. For job description, person specifi cation and application form, Applicants are requested to send their c/v, including the contact details for contact Elaine Watts: CONTACT three referees, plus a covering letter explaining their reasons for applying Tel: 0207 316 1413 Phone: 0191 2657044 for the position, to Dr Denis Alexander, Chair of The Faraday Institute Email: classifi [email protected] Email: o [email protected] Board of Trustees, The Woolf Building, Madingley Road, Cambridge, 22 Chapter Street, London, SW1P 4NP Visit: www.heatonbaptist.org CB3 0UB, UK by December 31st 2019. Post: Applications may also be sent to: RATES [email protected]. Closing date: 15th November 2019 £22 + VAT per single column centimetre. Interviews: Week commencing 25th November 2019 For example a 6cm up x 2 column across (91mm) is £264 + VAT. www.faraday.cam.ac.uk Start date: As soon as possible Charities may be VAT zero rated – ask for details. Walton on Thames, Surrey Contact Youth and Children’s Worker Tel 0207 316 1413 Web www.premierjobsearch.co.uk Part time: 12 hours per week Email [email protected] Post 22 Chapter Street, London, SW1P 4NP Salary: £7,800 Per Annum

How to avoid that November feeling

We’ve had Bonfire Night and it’s still a long time until Christmas. November is stretching out in front of you. What do you do to break the monotony before Advent hits?

Attend the National Youth Ministry Weekend and post selfies with hundreds of Go on a prayer walk and collect autumn leaves youth workers to remind you of what God is saying

Organise a Prep for the St Andrew’s Day Christingle service: celebration on 30th order 400 oranges November, exploring and ten kilos of Andrew’s role as Dolly Mixtures a disciple

Plan your entire Do a Bible study on waiting rota for 2020

Pretend you’re at the National Youth Ministry Weekend and post selfies with a Starbucks Bake a Christmas cake with travel mug while queuing at a your children’s group restaurant

Take part in Movember. Wear a fake moustache Eat ten kilos of for the whole month Dolly Mixtures while if you can’t watching Strictly grow one Come Dancing. Buy ten more kilos

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY TAKE TO YOUR BED AND DON’T GET UP UNTIL ADVENT SUNDAY

November 66 WE DON’T DO BORING.

WE BELIEVE IN FUN, ENGAGING EXPERIENCES WITH INTERACTION.

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1–8 AUGUST 2020, OLDENBURG, GERMANY VISIT WWW.UK.OM.ORG/TEENSTREET OR CALL US ON 01691 773388 TO FIND OUT MORE. A Ministry of OM

*See website for full Terms & Conditions.

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