THE CYBERJOURNALS OF DINA Z

This is the story of Edward Schwarcz. Or better, the story about how Edward rescued himself from depression and near death through his meeting with Dina, his present wife. And of course, this is also the story of Dina Zisel, and how she had the courage to jump outside her own personal hell through the narrow door Edward opened for her. I met the couple on my last trip to Rio to visit my family. When I was introduced to Dina at a dinner party, I was truly amazed by the many coincidences in our lives and our friendship was spontaneous and quick. Dina and Edward are currently living in Rio where they run a small but prosperous jewelry business. They decided to move there together after their meeting in Orlando, following a hot, intense and brief cyber romance; Edward wanted a new life, away from painful memories, and Dina wanted to be of some assistance to her sick mother. Looking at them, nobody could tell what intense passion these two are capable of. They look as a perfectly ordinary middle aged couple, warm and caring, happy with themselves and the life they chose. Edward is a charming, unique man in his early sixties, not particularly fit or handsome, whose smile is capable of lighting up a whole city; his clients in Rio love going to his shop to chat, talk about their problems, enlighten their souls with a special piece of jewelry as they delight from his many stories. Dina is more reserved, a bright, witty, good looking but no more than average for a 51 years old woman who takes good care of her health, exercising and keeping a good diet. Shortly after I came back from Rio, I received an email from Dina with a manuscript attached. Like Dina, I am from Rio and decided to move to Florida 2 years ago, to live with my boyfriend Alan, a philosopher and a cartoonist. Edward created a character, the Tzadik, and has been collecting wise thoughts and drawings over the years; when we met he had a good material and wanted to have it printed. We wanted to start building something new, and, being a writer myself, we decided to establish a small publishing company, to publish our own books and also to offer to new and interesting writers the possibility of publishing their work without having to submit to the well known via crucis, sending originals to publishers who would never care to even look. So after hesitating for quite a while, Dina decided to send me the transcript of her cyber encounter with Edward. Edward didn’t want to publish it. “Too intimate”- he used to say - not really willing to show his qualities to a broad audience. But Dina knew she had something of literary value in her hands, a poetic, strong and exciting paper. In a time where all love and beauty seem to be restricted to youngsters, she wanted to show hopeless, middle aged women like herself how life is always worth living, how each new day can bring a revolution, a crossroad, a completely new perspective. After years of solitude, with no sex partners, tired of being disillusioned and hurt, she is living a fulfilled, exciting love story, a true soul mates meeting; she awakens every morning to this caring, gentle, passionate man sleeping by her side, embracing and supporting her. Edward joined JDate with the investigative mind of a scientist. He was not looking for love, or friends, or any other way to mitigate his own solitude and desperation. He just wanted to study women’s psyche, to publish some instigating profile and see how his target would respond. To make an experiment. He would not admit that he would really enjoy meeting someone who could change his miserable life. Still mourning an intense love affair, he could barely face his broken heart and preferred to act skeptically, to protect himself from possible future pain. A few months passed - as he was able to keep for a while the convenient disguise - until he was suddenly caught on the web of destiny. Before he could express a single gesture of self defense, he got himself involved in this intense correspondence with Dina and was transformed into his own guinea pig. I carefully examined Dina’s material and decided that yes, it was certainly worth publishing. I shared some of her beliefs and was always ready to encourage my fellow menopausing female companions through my writing. As Dina didn’t feel ready to show her passion in public, we decided that I would sign the manuscript and change all names to protect the privacy of characters involved. What follows is the complete unedited material; I kept the typing mistakes, the internet communication code, the original foreign language citations, the heat of the moment to preserve the strength, the passion and the improvised online reactions. Doing so I expect each reader to get deeply involved, to feel as part of the plot, not as a voyeur, but as a potential participant in this exciting cyber journey, easily available today to everyone of us. As an old friend of mine used to say: “Il faut tout oser!” (French for we should be as daring as possible). I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Dina Zisel at Jdate

Divorced Woman Age: 51 years old from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

About Me

I am here, I am alive, I am love, I am energy, I am me, I am you, we are all together diving on this sea of intelligent minds mingled in one.

Gender: woman Ethnicity: Ashkenazi Religion: Secular I keep kosher: No Synagogue: Will tell you later Education: Bachelor's Degree Marital Status: divorced Smoking: non-smoker Drinking: Never From: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Occupation: Design/Visual & Graphic Arts Looking for: A long-term relationship

Physical Information: Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Green Brown Height: 5' 1" (155cm) Weight: 116 pounds (52.0 kg) Body Style: Athletic/Fit

Lifestyle: Grew up in: Brazil Political View: Liberal Children: None My kids live: I don’t have kids Emphasis of Studies: behavior, health Income: Will tell you later Job Description: therapeutic jewelry designer, virtual business owner Astrological Sign: Capricorn Physical Activity: Very Active Willing to relocate: No Languages: English, Hebrew, Portuguese

Personality: Personality Traits: Artistic, Eccentric, Friendly/Kind, High Energy, Humorous/Witty, Practical, Quiet/Shy, Romantic, Self Confident, Serious/Responsible, Simple, Sophisticated/Worldly, Spiritual, Unconventional/Free-Spirited

I like to read: Fiction, Magazines, Newspapers, Non-Fiction I like going out to: Art Galleries, Bookstores, Coffee Houses, Concerts, Movies, Opera, Parks, Symphony

Perfect Match: I would like to meet a mature, free, intelligent, sensitive man, open to love and to paths yet unknown, a seeker Ideal Relationship: The ideal relationship is based on love, confidence, freedom. A desire to grow together, to exchange and to change as a result Interests: My favorite cuisines: Japanese/Sushi, Vegetarian/Organic, Vegan My favorite music: Classical, Jazz, New Age, Opera, Rap/Hip Hop, Soul/R&B I own/like the following pets: I am not a pet person My favorite physical activities: Aerobics, Working Out/Weightlifting, Dancing, Hiking/Walking, Jogging/Running, Swimming/Diving/Water Polo My favorite pastimes: Cooking/Barbecuing, Gardening, Intimate Conversations, Reading/Writing, Movies/TV Perfect First Date: Sunset, fresh ocean breeze, eye-to-eye, little talking, lots of feeling, holding, touching, smooth skin, open heart Learned from past relationships: I learned to be open, flexible, to let go, to be self-sufficient, to be whole and yet receptive and willing to let somebody new come inside

My ideal match would be: Desired Age Range: 40 to 55 Acceptable marital status: Single, Never Married, Divorced, Separated, Widowed Acceptable religious backgrounds: Another Stream, Reform, Secular, Traditional, Unaffiliated Acceptable education levels: Some College, Bachelor's Degree, Master's Degree, Doctorate Acceptable drinking habits: Never, Socially, Occasionally Acceptable smoking habits: Non-smoker

Edward Schwarcz at Jdate

Divorced Man Age: 56 years old from Saint Augustine, Florida, USA

About Me Tres smart . . degreed, English lit. Graduate work the Negev desert...lived in Paris, Amsterdam...jewelry store in Waikiki for ten years... the south pacific, the quintessential beatific vision, nature at its most beautiful. I was a wholesale dealer of precious stones. . in '85 I flew to Tahiti to buy black pearls, dealt stones in Bangkok... retired to a hundred acres, Walden pond and its romantic myth, half mile long drive , two acre pond, forest, etc ...sold it...Indiana winters, death to the soul {how odd the reality and the myth so often do not meet}...two beautiful sons ... I am a naturalist , a philosophic romantic, did improv theater in San Francisco in the summer of 68, lived on top of Telegraph Hill... classical guitar, ex-mime... I speak French, Hebrew, and am proficient in English, taught for a couple of minutes . . poetic - artistic, wryly witted... mench... A good father...an aesthete... I live consciously .self determiningly. I have spent my life living as I chose. I was forty before I had children...they give a profound meaning to my existence...a magnetic north, the center of the self joy...most of the women in my life have been painters, artists, smart, intelligent, creative. Ennui is setting in...time to set sail ...cross the horizon . .

Gender: man Age: 56 Ethnicity: Ashkenazi Religion: Will tell you later I keep kosher: To some degree Synagogue: On High Holidays Education: Bachelor's Degree Marital Status: divorced Smoking: non-smoker Drinking: Socially From: Saint Augustine, Florida, USA Occupation: Other Looking for: A date, Friend, Marriage, A long-term relationship

Physical Information: Hair Color: Light Brown Eye Color: Green Height: 5' 7" (170cm) Weight: 150 pounds (68.0 kg) Body Style: Athletic/Fit

Lifestyle: Grew up in: Los Angeles Political View: Unspecified Children: 2 My kids live: Don’t live with me Emphasis of Studies: philosophy, lit, religion, science, history, etc Income: Will tell you later Job Description: entrepreneur Astrological Sign: Don’t believe in it Physical Activity: Active Willing to relocate: Yes Languages: English, French, Hebrew

Personality: Personality Traits: Adventurous/Wild/Spontaneous, Argumentative, Artistic, Eccentric, High Energy, Humorous/Witty, Intellectual, Low Maintenance, Sensitive/Nurturing/Loving, Outgoing, Practical, Procrastinator, Romantic, Self Confident, Serious/Responsible, Sophisticated/Worldly, Spiritual, Talkative, Unconventional/Free-Spirited I like to read: Fiction, Magazines, Newspapers, Non-Fiction, Poetry I like going out to: Art Galleries, Beach, Comedy Clubs, Libraries, Live Theater, Movies, Museums, Parks, Restaurants

Perfect Match: intelligent, wit, poet, artist, strong, traveled, sane , fit, spiritually evolved ...judaically conscious. Ideal Relationship: . .there has to be grace, intelligence, the relationship must be out of strength not need...ones existence does not depend on others...but "heros gamos" is such truth...the transcendent, the beauty of what is possible between a man and a woman, in balance by the equality of their mutual gravities... at the center of consciousness...the tantric...grace made manifest, shared light...no shadows. . completely open ...fearless. Interests: My favorite cuisines: American, Chinese/Dim Sum, Continental, Deli My favorite music: Classical, Jazz, Acoustic I own/like the following pets: I am not a pet person My favorite physical activities: Hunting/Fishing, Snorkeling/Scuba Diving My favorite pastimes: Traveling/Weekend Trips/Adventure Travel Perfect First Date: . lunch...wine ...museum...on the water...some piano background jazz...walk on the beach...Anastasia state park...quiet...nice breeze...some content to the sky. . Learned from past relationships: . .if you cannot speak with someone there is no point to it . .in the end there is only the consciousness of the other, you know the "Thou" in the "I and Thou"...intimacy...there is only the self to share... it is the self from which meaning comes ...life without meaning is nonsense...if you cannot share the self, completely, without reserve there is no point...do not settle... " to thine own self be true..." or it is only theatre

My ideal match would be: Desired Age Range: 45 to 55 Acceptable marital status: Single, Never Married, Divorced, Widowed Acceptable religious backgrounds: Single, Never Married, Divorced, Widowed Acceptable education levels: Some College, Bachelor's Degree, Master's Degree, Doctorate Acceptable drinking habits: Occasionally Acceptable smoking habits: Non-smoker

Monday Nov 15

In spite of the holiday I woke up early today. It’s the last day of a 3 days’ break and business is slow. Before I go out for a run I turn the computer on to check my mail as usual. A surprise awaits me and I have no idea where it is going to take me. 2 days ago, tired of the hopelessness that invaded my life in the last few months, i succumbed to an advertising email from JDate, sending a “wink” to one of my matches, a nice looking guy from Leblon, a neighbor, as I requested in my profile: I don’t want to relocate. In fact, I don’t care for anyone who is beyond a walking distance from my house, such is my confidence in finding a loved one through some dating service. But this morning, against all odds, I have mail from JDate. As I haven’t subscribed to the website, my activities are very limited and I soon discover that, to read the message, I have to spend US$35 to become a member for a month. I think, and think, and think again... Am I willing to invest such a fortune in some remotely possible joy, a faint hope for the future? Finally I decide to pay, inform my credit card data and am allowed unrestricted access. Disappointment comes quick, my illusion didn’t last 5 minutes: the message is not from that match, but from somebody else, some American, some crazy guy who found my profile appealing. I DON’T WANT TO RELOCATE. But I’m already here, so i visit some Isaac’s profile. The description is far from stupid, the picture does not say much. The guy describes himself as a naturalist, the essay sounds poetic and I find at least one coincidence: he once had a jewelry store, I am a jewelry designer. Huumm, interesting. I open the chat window, another coincidence: the stranger is online.

Dina: Hi! Dina: i received your message, you were online, i decided to say hello. Edward: Hi! Name is Edward. Dina: i read your profile. interesting. i think we might have something in common... Edward: so you are in rio...amazing we can meet and talk... i never met a woman from rio before Dina: well, i have to go, maybe we can chat again some other day... Edward: send me mail [email protected] Dina: ok. bye...

Nov 15 Dina no subject

So Edward, tell me more about yourself. what is a naturalist...

Nov 15 Edward - naturalist

Dina: to exist in a transcendent [transcendent of the mundane, of the urbane...the things of man's making] state...the self in relationship to the organic, the living, the universe and by consequence the universal...god...to live in a state of awe...of the beatific...the idyllic...what works of man touches the wonders of brook or salamander...of a new born...what grace...in life in nature... to stand on hale akula the highest point on earth measured from the bottom of the ocean [house of the sun]...what can we make of any import...it is all done...to live in open love...balanced on eternity...to clear ones head of the nonsense of getting and spending...to fathom what is here now and the ecstatic beauty of it all. . so these are some of the elements of the naturalist...the philosophic naturalist...the romantic idealist ...the poet/artist...the first university I attended was U.C.L.A...i was a pre- med major and worked in the laboratory doing micro-dissection in invertebrate neurophysiology...i was 17 and found it all meaningless...it was philosophy, poetry, literature, that awakened me...i became a lit major...an existentialist...one was what one did...and there was paris...and amsterdam...and jerusalem...there was life to live and love... to know love and by consequence god...

Tuesday Nov 16

Nov 16 Dina re: naturalist

Hi, Edward about god and love... about energy. I think a lot about what is god. at the moment, for me, god is a sea of energy where our consciousness is immersed. or better. god is our consciousness, all our conscious minds emitting energy, mingled. back to love, the strongest energy of all, magnetic pleasure, life making sense. conscious life making sense. maybe that’s how we found each other on this vast human net. i used to be new age, but couldn’t cope with superstitious, non- scientific views. anyway, had a lot of experiences, and learned to live consciously, simply, in intimate touch with reality. which leads us to another question: what is reality? well, that’s another story. just like you, i like to think, explore, discover... exchanging ideas just for the fun of it.

Nov 16 Edward re: reality the thing about reality is that it is self evident...you know it when you are experiencing it...it is to be in the center of the universe...in an eternal moment of self evidency...it is manifestly obvious...it is to be in the presence of god...the intelligence behind the manifestation...it is most extraordinary when the awakening is in tandem with the feminine principal...self witnessing self...the meditative path is satori...odd to arrive at the center of the universe without preparation l966 after my return from paris...in an art gallery in L.A. at three in the morning...there was nothing to know...everything is self evident...questioning creates separation...and separation is to exist in dream...being a scientist i spent the next 7 years trying to understand the experience, logically, academically...i found my self, ultimately in the Negev desert, twelve midnight sometime in December...storm...winds blowing 60mph...i walked out into the "whirlwind" till i was surrounded by the storm...wet and blown proclaimed "henaini" "I am here" "what do you want from me" and listened...and out of the silence of the storm i heard nothing...and was grateful...for the whole metaphysical thing had been a tiring thing...a thing that cannot be understood with the mind...but with the heart...one must surrender the mind, the intellect...one must give the self to receive the self...it is an act of faith...love too is an act of faith. . it is in surrendering the self, that we attain our self.

Nov 16 Dina Hi, Edward You were already off-line when I connected to JDate. Had a busy day. im amazed with the strength of your experiences. I had some too. My book is about that; the mystical years. Maybe now-a-days i am a bit too tough, less dreamy. But believe me, I feel my sensitivity is lacking some air, demanding space. How are you now? You told me about some past experiences. Tell me about you today. I had a dream last night: i was running, running, running ( i am a runner), with endless energy, while there were people by my side. Than suddenly, people disappeared (the way it happens in dreams) and the energy was gone too... But the wake-up feeling was nice Now at the same time im on line with you... Will write more later

Je t'embrasse/Dina

Nov 16 Edward My dear: it is most interesting the runners with you...we all run alone ...odd that it is of significance that there are others...or that others in any kind of way empower you...that you were content in awakening... seems to suggest a reconciliation with the fact that you do not require permission for your independence...the assertion of your self...but what do I know...at any rate. . I take great delight in correspondence with you...A

Nov 16 Edward and so my dear Dina: and so the running and the evaporation of the others and the self remains...and the aftermath affirms the intrinsic universal approval...the waking affirmation...and "moi" I am in Saint Augustine, Florida...I manufacture and wholesale jewelry...I am recovering from a great love...a painter Katherine Miller ...love has a way of tearing the self...of leaving the shell of the self...rending the soul...but love is love and worth the grief...I am healed and raise my sons from a distance...my eldest spent two months with me...he is on his way to the navy...he is two years into university...a great soul, whom I love...and my other son has just shot a nine point 240 pound buck with a bow and is in high school...so I recover from love and love my sons at a distance...I am in Limbo, my dear...recovering from love...how it rends me, tore me...left me in tatters...I work the weekends in my brother's store, formerly mine...I sold it to him a year ago...I am seeing to the end of the raising of my sons and the recovering of my soul...love is worth the pain of it all...though the pain of it all is agonizingly slow to recover...life without love is meaningless...je t'aime...Edward

Wednesday Nov 17

Nov 17 Dina funny, sunny life

Funny how life can change overnight while you're sleeping. It happens like this: someday along the line I registered to JDate but didn't subscribe. Took a quick scan and forgot about it. Months later, (maybe years) they start suddenly to send me matches, im not interested. One morning, I have a message. To read it, I have to subscribe first, of course, that’s how they do business. im curious, and decide to finally subscribe, only to check this message. Yours. I was married twice. No kids. My second marriage was a beautiful fairy tale... And then nightmare. I met this man through the internet, 7 years ago. We fell in love immediately, had a face to face one month later and got married in 2 months. I left Rio to live with him in Brasilia, left my apartment, work, friends and family behind. We had our honeymoon driving through California; and left our wedding rings - I made them myself - in a mountain hole, on a Sedona trail. (I know what limbo is, have been there and dedicated a whole chapter in my book to this journey. One chapter, no more. You aren't dead, or alive, only there in a fog, waiting for some door to open). I lived with him for a year but couldn't stay. It took me another 6 months to come back to Rio, where I had 6 years of profound sadness, mourning the broken soul mate dream. He is, in fact, a wonderful man, but very dysfunctional in relationships. At least in ours. He is a well-known architect (I used to be one, as well) and a professor. BTW, I looked for Katherine Miller on the net, beautiful work, beautiful woman. And now what? im still looking, in a quiet way, for my tantric lover... Dina

Nov 17 Edward re: funny, sunny life my dear Dina: indeed life has a way of slipping synchronistic phenomenon into the linearity of daily existence...i like you was not registered, and the receipt of your correspondence was by chance...without your initiating "hi Edward" i would not have been able to speak with you...as with today...much regret about today...perhaps tomorrow...about 3...love and limbo...the deeper the love the denser the fog of separation...waiting for the self to reemerge...like mercury dropped eventually it flows together bit by bit, by gravity...morceau by morceau the bruised self wakes...et maintenant? california...so many stories...i eloped one winter to Tahoe...snow, full moon on the lake, midnight...fire in the fireplace...the morning was blanketed with snow...i no longer felt like getting married...but i had made an agreement with my self...that in the original impulse [of eloping] rested the highest expression of existence...and despite the yammering of the doubting mind i would follow the impulse to its conclusion...we drove to the justice of the peace...he was out...up in Carson city...so that was the end of it...'67 what an extraordinary year...theater of the mind...Herman Hesse...San Francisco...i glanced at you on the net...thou art prolific...hope to talk with you tomorrow...je t'embrace...Edward

Thursday Nov 18

Nov 18 Dina America and me

Hi, Edward (lucky words) I wonder how good it was to be living in California in the 60's, 70's. Our cultural background was focused there, and even eastern magic came through the filter of American culture. Brasil was a dictatorship by then, and the gap between our countries big. We had to travel often to see films, plays, concerts... Everything was censored! The art scene was worse. While America was singing freedom in the streets, we couldn't do much for self-expression, without internet... (laugh) Much later, in 1994, I met this man, an urban shaman, and developed a deep connection with him. I started to translate his workshops and spend some months in USA working with him. Even my art then was influenced by Native American esthetics. I worked with leather, teeth, horns and animal symbols. At the time I wanted to move to USA, but it didn't work. You can say that the strongest spiritual and psychological experiences I ever had were in English language... That's why it sounds so natural, especially when dealing with feelings and impressions. I haven't spoken English for a long time, or written, until I met you by chance... I confess im a little bit worried with American politics, what do you think? Florida is a Republican state, are you a Florida or a California man? 3 years ago, I had a one-off piece selected for the American Facet Award, and it was exhibited in New York, très chic, didn't win first price, dommage. Check the piece (picture attached):

The stones are mounted on magnets that move along the waves. You can disassemble (see tool on the left) the piece completely and change stones from one wave to the other. Name: Magnetic Caller. Theme: energetically calling your soul mate (I was more esoteric then) Hope you like it. See you at three. Kiss kiss Dina

Nov 18 Dina Ops! California x Schwarzenegger

Republicans taking charge! Pardon my mistake! Well you know what I meant... Dina

Nov 18, Edward re: America and me

Dear Dina: I hung out on JDate for half an hour saw that you were on line, but you did not write...oh well...the 60's were mind blowing magic...I spent the next 40 years codifying...from Tahiti and the south pacific to the wilderness...I conducted group encounter and did improv theater...learned to read minds...feel what was not being articulated...lived between the lines...shunned madness...my children are my greatest works...I had the luxury of spending all my time everyday nurturing their fundamental existences...my sons first words on the beach at Waikiki was wow...he is at boot camp at the great lakes...he has joined the navy...the other just shot a 240 pound 9 point buck with bow and arrow...the rites of passage of men...I have taught them that they should be themselves without compromise...never do anything that you have to lie about...most people do not live their lives...they live dream...separated from themselves by the delusion of their existences...I was wondering if the picture on jdate is you currently or is the picture on some of your on line listings the current you...I grew up in California...and transcended it...most are products of cultural conditionings...they have no idea what existence is outside of it...they mistake language for reality...that which exists outside of condition was what was of interest to me...that which existed in spite of what you thought of it...love, birth, god...breath...peeling back like an onion till what is was...the eternal now...the meaning of life good deeds...do no harm ...with love, Edward.

Nov 18 Dina

Edward, the picture on jdate was taken some months ago, by a professional. This one is I now, 5 min ago, in a lousy light, with a lousy camera and my Jewish nose, shouldn't send to someone I hope will like me! Send me one too!

Please explain this phrase; "the other just shot a 240 pound 9 point buck with bow and arrow" its the second time you tell me this and I don't have a clue about the meaning!!! (laugh) Hope to talk to you soon. Love N

Nov 18 Dina could not find you

Dear Edward, I don't know what happened, I entered the room, you were there, you did not answer and then you were out. Do you use some communication software we could use outside jdate? I used to have ICQ but found it a bit disturbing. I work all day in the computer, it wouldn't be difficult for us to meet anytime. Well, im having dinner now but now and then I take a look if you are still around. Love/ D

Nov 18 Dina Still trying

… a little bit better. Hair is natural, a few whites. Glasses for the computer, I usually wear contact (only one, presbiopia...) Dina

Friday Nov 19

Nov 19 Edward

Dear Dina: I prefer the sallow you...you had in one of writings looked into the mirror and were disgusted by what you saw...and so worked on yourself till image you perceived was worthy of loving and being loved...a 9 point buck has nine tines comprising its antlers...the greater the number of tines the more prized...I am not a hunter, but my son's stepfather is from Michigan a land of hunters and fly fishermen...he is also, literally a rocket scientist at Wright Patterson Air Force Base and was responsible for the photo voltaic on the Mars Lander...he provided a diverse learning experience for the boys...sometimes I wear a beard, there are times I don’t...I currently am sans barb...I just delivered a hundred silver lighthouse charms to the lighthouse museum...it is essentially of little interest to me, but it requires little time and little compromise to existence...there are some eight in the collections all of the various ancient buildings, castillo and churches ...I designed the concept...contracted the manufacturing from friends in Los Angeles...acquired the accounts and voilla... I enjoy your being...there is a loveliness to you... .te me plait. Edward

Nov 19 Dina Google, light

Dear Edward, the second image was not worked on, the light was so bad I just adjusted brightness on Photoshop and it resulted a bit impressionist, well, the first image didn't do me justice. Beard, I prefer without! Hunting and military, I can only comment in Portuguese: "Nao é minha praia!"(It is not my beach, means, I don't go for it) I would like you to comment on the piece of jewelry I showed you on a previous mail. BTW, I wrote Google asking for instructions to clean that garbage you've seen, 18 pages, maximum one valid. love/ D

Nov 19 Edward cow bell

As to the object of jewelry...I could not see the stones...emerald, ruby, diamond? is the metal gold...how thick is the piece...is it like a cow bell around the neck...I liked the detail of the leather thong...I forgot the detail of the clasp...you say the stones move are they set in bezels with a tubular body? How big are the stones 10mm? How did you decide on the stones? Traditional vibrational assumptions?

Nov 19 Edward re: google, light

My dear Dina: The military will provide ian with $40,000 in scholarship...teach him avionic hydrolics ($90,000) starting salary and allow him government funding for the purchase of a house when he is 23...not to mention it will keep him out of trouble for 4 years and allow him time to focus or develop the skills of focusing without getting himself killed ...those years tend to be catastrophic in America and he was getting bored with university...so it seemed a good idea...the province of hunting is male...they actually eat the venison...so it serves a primitive moral principal...I had forgot that you were a vegetarian...I did not mean to horrify...I actually was fond of the second picture...it was very familiar...Edward

Nov 19 picture or picture

Ops. Language flaw. If you meant description, jdate is more recent, I am not currently esoteric, or shaman or any other illusion of the kind. I am still a designer, writer and cook. But the current current me is this one that talks to you daily You said: ..."I was wondering if the picture on jdate is you currently or is the picture on some of your on line listings the current you" Dina

Nov 19 msnwebmessenger my dear Dina: msnwebmessenger would allow us to IM...sunny day today...wind off the ocean...cool crisp...full of promise...odd we are both Aquarius [Feb. 10]...Edward

Nov 19 re:msnwebmessenger

I thought you didn't believe in astrology, well, Aquarius is beautiful; im a 29 degrees Capricorn, last day, last minute. How old exactly are you now that you don't have a beard? Photo? Will download messenger and tell you when im ready. Yes, i had a nice day today too, good sales and hearing from you. If ian wants to be a pilot... let's pray for sharp focus. I made jewelry with antlers when i was a shaman designer, no more. for the Indians hunt is sacred too, and a mitzvah to use all the animal (antlers, teeth, skin) after you eat it... vegetarian cooking is nicer, tastier, healthier... want to try? Dina

November 19 Edward Re: msnwebmessenger Well i don't ...but i thought it curious that you manifest so many of the traits that i associate with myself... ian is training to be a navy air hydraulic engineer...he has keen focus...ah mitzvah the Judaic...Shabbat shalom...it was a discipline i practiced for about 30 years...stopping the action every seventh day...consciously embracing the holy...wine and bread at sundown...stepping out side the inane...rekindling the soul...embracing the sacred...ancient ritual...candles...sanctity...katherine was the last woman i did that with...quel domage...i miss that...i find schulls basically unnecessary...and make a yearly pilgrimage only on Yom Kippur...Edward

Nov 19 Dina Edward, yes, i said pilot than remembered about navy, its a lack of knowledge about the subject, also lack of attention. im working now on downloading msn, had to create hotmail account, and so on. Why did you stop respecting the Shabbat? Well, for my side i gave up religion completely 3 years ago. At first, i believed god was going to send lightning over my head the first kippur i didn't fast. Well, i survived and have now a completely different idea about god. More on that later. And im not fond of religion, but ok, we can light some candles and take a hot bath to receive the holy. Holy love vibration. Yes, we have things in common. I don't believe in astrology now, but i still think its a good and beautiful source of symbolic thinking and i use it for fun. Want to know about your map? Send me your birthplace, year and time Dina

Nov 19 Dina a woman with no children

Dear Edward Since I had no children, I think I can say my best work is myself (maybe you can say the same for yourself, at least a bit). Being a passionate woman, I lived intensely, and am balanced now, with a simple life and strong principles. I am brave and believe, like you, that the success in a relationship lies on two strong, independent, and sharing people. I don't tell lies and am very transparent (this makes life difficult sometimes). Despite the fact that I don't look good in pictures (laugh, did you hate mine), I look younger than my age, I will be 53 in January 20. I am very active, flexible, healthy, no botox nor silicone nor plumb on the head (most hair dyes contain plumb, that's why men are usually smarter - joke! Never dye your hair!)). I have a nice hot body, which I treat friendly, and plan to live until 150. I am quite small, but a great person (laugh) And you, I can't get you to talk about yourself, about Edward today, not Waikiki Edward or Edward a father of 2. Or Edward ex- famouspainterkatherine's . Edward out of the limbo building a new, vibrant life and being happy, second chapter Edward. We both registered to jdate without subscribing... well, we would like a relationship, but not so much... we believe we can find someone, but is there...? Despite all possible doubts and hesitations, I am happy to discover I am ready to love again, ready to dream, to be passionate again, to wake up early in the morning only to share some thoughts with someone dear. Ready to hope, to begin, to be excited, to be intense and whole again, very much alive again. Good morning Edward. Love/ D

Nov 19: Dina ok, ready to chat kiss kiss Dina please don't send emails to hotmail address!

Saturday Nov 20

Nov 20: Dina boker tov (good morning)

Good morning Edward Maybe i was too acid on my commentaries about Shabbat ritual, something you affirmed to miss. My depart from religion is recent and still painful, although my rational conclusions seem to be final, you never know... when i last got married my first act in Brasilia was to prepare a Rosh Hashanah dinner. Yes, i can cook Jewish recipes, like grandma did, but i find them greasy and unhealthy. My marriage was a traditional ritual, including the groom taking 7 turns around the bride, it was very moving. if you want to know, im still married, since divorce is so painful, complicated and expensive in our religion, and on the top of it i have no idea where or how the husband is now to ask him to sign the (un)commitment. Ours is a very chauvinist religion, women don't count much. My last marriage didn't have a civil value, means, in fact, im single. Or, divorced from my first husband. Maybe this was the beginning of my break with religion, tradition, and rituals. its a big change, if you consider I valued all kind of rituals and was once the leader of a group of women almost Wicca performing rituals according to the moon phase. Bah, its a long life to tell in a few words. Check this article on god and tell me what you think: http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/11/14/ngod14.x ml Dina

Nov 20 Edward re:boker tov

Dear Dina: I am more mystic in the tradition of the essenes...my pilgrimage to Israel was the last thing on my agenda...ritual has a consequence of consciousness...Judaic totemics are as good as any...i.e. the star of David...essentially the yin and yang resolution of opposites...and so forth...I regard food as medicine...I am not attached to it at all...the world tears the soul...one lives in a monastery or owns it...that was what the 100 acre retreat was about...stream, forest, lake...one faces god alone, not en mass...to me the ritual of the Sabbath is a bottle of wine and a challah...and that is all...it is kind of a decimal point that marks both an end and a beginning...it is enough to wake to consciousness...shared consciousness is marriage... .shared light without shadows...love Edward.

Nov 20 Dina mystic My dear Edward, I am really sorry you are not on line right now. I have not a word to add to your message. This is it. I agree with you. I just saw the film "Before Sunset" Did you see it? Well, I cried a bit. I am a bit of him, a bit of her. She has some things i don't currently have, but once did, like a tres charmant house, and owning all of her time... Difference is if i think about it, there's no one in my past that means so much to me i feel my life has stopped there. No one i dream to meet again. All i want is to have meaningful moments now, today, in the near future... and that's a good thing. I am mystic in a way that i left behind many languages i experienced with and im not sure how am i communicating right now with spirit... sometimes there's a void in my heart... i do not know what to look for exactly... and then i meet you par hazard and we start this exchange... I am glad. Hope to meet you on line sometime in the next few hours. love/ Dina

Monday Nov 22

November 22 Edward re: mystic

Dear Dina: hope you are well...you seem a bit triste in this last . .lamenting...lonely... I know exactly of what you speak...I am not sure of Before Sunset...maybe...how odd the similarity of place...I read the article on belief and genetics...I think the ability to suspend the intellect is like everything genetic...the process can be learned through meditative discipline, but the inclination to bother is genetic...like intelligence...one experiences god consciousness as one can or as one does...the mystical experience...is in the panoply of human experience, rare...thus the shaman or the tsadik...the ability to experience awe...suspension of the mind...and the awakening of being...how do we speak to each other on msn?

Nov 22 Dina re: mystic

Dear Edward, I downloaded msnwebmessenger like you said, you have to enter, I think, through your hotmail address and send an instant message. I am on line now, if you want to try Dina

Dina: hi! Edward: my goodness the marvels of the intellectual community in the Silicon Valley Dina: did you never try msn? Edward: no this is the premier...most curious... Dina: me neither Dina: i had a good time this weekend talking with a friend who lives in another city Edward: and? Dina: but i thought you were an expert, since you recommended it Dina: i missed you this weekend Edward: only at research... what was the movie you spoke to me about? Edward: I was out of touch on Sunday...business and all that...but here i am bright and early Monday...in correspondence Dina: Before Sunset with Ethan Hawke. There was a movie 9 years ago with the same actors, a man and a woman who met in a night train to Vienna and spend the night together Dina: they agreed to meet 6 months later, but neither come to the meeting for different reasons Edward: and... Dina: than they meet again 9 years later, this is the second film, the same actors, they are older as the characters, and they spend a few hours in Paris before him catching a plane Dina: its almost only dialogues and a stroll around Paris Dina: well, look for it in DVD, so i don't have to tell you how it ends Edward: i love strolling around Paris...is there a point or only a profile of the relationship ...kind of a bermanesque depressing film noir Dina: no, its not depressing its strong, romantic, film bright, happy ending but profound Edward: Bergman not berman sorry. . i do not know if i will see the film and even if i do unless it is a murder mystery the ending is of interest to me now...i Edward: ah profundity...always like profundity...life is so often like a squashed bug lacking profundity Dina: Definitely, it has a point. Do you like cinema? No murder, no mystery Dina: i saw all the Bergman and Fassbinder i deserved Dina: then gave up on Fassbinder before he died Dina: but i love film Edward: Yes, i wrote a couple of films back in 68 and was offered a position at UCLA's school of cinematography...it was the sixties so instead of registering i stayed in sanfrancisco on a houseboat in Sausalito Dina: did you film the experience?: D Dina: seems like you had a nice time uh? Edward: Yes, i am a great fan of cinema and consume it voraciously...i like good cinema and ...did i film which experience. SF? Only as memory...life was the film... Dina: I’ve been to San Francisco in the 70's and loved it, but come back 6 years ago and didn’t like it Dina: i now prefer Los Angeles, with the beaches, and museums, etc Dina: let me ask you something Edward: yeh life is often like that...i lived in north beach on top of telegraph hill...you can keep the rest of the city...i love china town and used to walk it in white face at two in the morning doing mime Edward: ask away Dina: would you like to meet? Edward: what ever are you thinking Dina Dina: i have an opportunity to take some days off at the end of the year Dina: i really am needing some vacation Dina: was thinking about flying to Florida Dina: for a week Edward: i do not know what is happening today...ian is graduating from boot camp some time around then and i have to take a trip up to the Chicago area...Dina it seems so strange moving from the cyber space of mind to the reality of flesh Dina: what do you prefer? Flesh or screen? Edward: i am going to have to sign off in a few minutes...i prefer reality to illusion Dina: im thinking about this trip anyway, would rent a car... well the only thing is flights are packed those days... and i would love to meet you Dina: well, i work all afternoon with the computer on, so you can drop by when you feel like Dina: maybe you could check your dates and then tell me, this is, if you would like to meet, this is basic Edward: thou art quixotic...yeh maybe the keys...meeting would be nice, but i am terribly critical... Dina: about what? Edward: i respond to your self and soul...but what if i don’t respond to your physiognomy...that would disappoint me . Dina: im not afraid of you Edward: i have to go...talk to you tomorrow...e Dina: if a disappoint you, we can remain cyber friends, or not? Dina: ok, Edward, bye

Nov 22 Edward smaller than a fly they did not want to love my dear Dina i do not ever wish to cause you misery...it is easy for me to love you...but to make love to you...to whom am i to kiss to touch...what is the body of you...the flesh of you ...are you the thin, lithe form that i imagine you to be from your web site portrait...that form that so reminded me of a love i had in israel a third of a century ago with a painter from Casablanca...or are you other . . [katherine was thin and lithe, a runner an athlete]...i can commit to you in word...it is easy to speak with you...the quickness of mind of consciousness ...but if i cannot commit to you in body because of my own critical aesthetic sense then i risque the "smaller than a fly they did not want to love" syndrome...and i will not be responsible for that...Edward

Nov 22 Dina disconnected

Edward, you disconnected so suddenly... I didn't have the time to say bye or to finish what i was saying... did I frighten you? Maybe i was a bit sudden. Would you like to live that film that i don't remember the name, he was a writer in London and she a librarian in USA, or just the opposite, im not sure, and they never met? It is only an opportunity... Of course my vacation would be much more nicer if i could see you, since i respond to you also. And for me its rare... Love/ Dina Dina

Tuesday Nov 23

Nov 23 Dina re: smaller than a fly they did not want to love

Dear Edward, How can you know that im not thin, and lithe and a runner and an athlete? Fun of it is, I already told you that I am a runner, didn't I? Well, senior runner at least, only 7, 8 miles each training, not a sprinter(laugh). About making love... I told you about this also, about a tantric lover... (the term tantra called my attention on your profile) Maybe we won't meet after all, (I said meet, not meat, although I meant flesh, of course! laugh) but I am so sure our bodies will love each other as much as our minds do, even if i never saw more than a micro photograph of you, with beard. I assure you im better in vivo than in vitro and a hot lover. Are you? (how can you commit, or not commit, be uplifted our disappointed, without risking?) I know how you're feeling. Those are obstacles cyber lovers need to overcome (if they feel like it). I once exchanged poetry with a man online for more than a month; when we finally met, we even went to a hotel, but i felt like throwing up and had to call it off. I felt dirty for days, although he didn't even touch me. Another time, the man sounded interesting and we had a date in a restaurant. When i saw him from afar all i wanted was to run away, well, we had a painful quick conversation and bye. And this is it. My cyber date experiences. I gave up after that and erased my profile for good (not JDate, this is me trying again like a good Capricorn). On the other side, when i met Marcos, my former husband, it was very different. I flew 2 hours to meet him and was very nervous, but when i layed eyes on him... it was love at first sight ( after love at first type) In fact i never believed i could find some one really lovable on dating sites. im sure its a place for dulls, not for designer people like me (laugh). But then i thought, if im here, why not "he"... Well, i never found someone like this, until i met you... (marcos and i are in fact very different). Love/ Dina (hornier than before - laugh)

Dina: hi, Edward Edward: yes hi Dina Dina: so, what's new? Edward: i have read your e messages and have responded Dina: but i didn't receive yet Dina: let me download them now Dina: well, read it. I certainly did an account on your age, that's why i asked! Dina: all of us have secrets, uh? Dina: as to my trip, you don't have to worry or be responsible Dina: im responsible enough for myself or both of us Dina: i will be in a hotel and have a car, so you can drop by if you like or have me visiting you in St Augustine for that quiet lunch with jazz Dina: as for my not liking you... well, i doubt it, my dear, according to your own description and you can bet i HAVE to risk or i will never sleep again in peace. Please say something, or are you gone already Edward: my dear Dina all of us have secrets? What secrets do you have? i think we have spoken without shadow...yes we awaken each other...but that i felt like vomiting thing...that is something i would pray would not occur... Edward: i can love you, make love to you in prose, in word but in flesh qui est toi...who are you... "I have a hot body" what does that mean... Dina: only teasing you... the only thing about me i did not tell you until today was this thing about my mom. So i said on jdate i lived alone... in a way i do Dina: and i never said i did vomit, only i felt like, cause the guy was really disgusting... and married ( people lie a lot on the internet) Dina: what about tantra? do you practice? Edward: only while making love...and if it is not cosmically conscious what is the point only so much flesh.. . Dina: About bodies,... a hot body is comfortable, smooth, capable of high pleasure Edward: and what of form...is that what you meant comfortable smooth capable of pleasure or aesthetically erotic Dina: yeaahhh... i never made love just for the fun of it. I know we get completely open when making love and would not risk Dina: both, i believe. Do you think im not relived (ops, i can't write this word) that you are not some fatty Edward: making love is completely open or it is certainly not tantric...to lay in you completely open without movement...conscious...joined one...two...one... Edward: fatty...this is way beyond fatty...lithe form intertwined bone and muscle breath and sweat... Dina: i had a tantric lover once, a meditator. But i really never did experience this quietness and dream about it Edward: kiss and tongue and face and skin breath time in present stilled to moment made consciousness itself made manifest Dina: stop it, Edward, enough for cyber sex... or i won't be able to wait for another month Edward: i fear that i am to strong for you Dina: funny how many years ago i wrote a wishing note describing the man i would like to meet, the only thing in the note you don't respond to is that you don't live in Rio. Too strong for me? But i lift weights on a daily basis, dear... i am very strong and long for your arm around me Dina: and back to Rio i discover its so easy to love in English language, so natural, as if i was always meant to do so Edward: it is passion i speak and of mind and yes i do not live in Rio and there the "rub" how long to travel to. . Dina: (kidding about weight lifting you will soon be afraid i look like those physiculturists you see on weird magazines Dina: and i discover the fun to fly to orlando and get some vacation Dina: also that st augustine is an historic city Dina: i know you were talking about passion and wanted to tease you Dina: im very passionate too, i told you that Edward: as i said i am not sure the date that i will be in chicago for ians graduation from the academy...do not make plans till i know more... Dina: well, Edward, it is like this. i can only travel on the days between christams and new year Dina: for those dates i can stop delivery from my shop Dina: i have someone to take care of mom Dina: everybody has vacation on holidays Dina: and the tourist agency has a blockage fro 27/12 that makes the ticket very cheap Edward: yeh passion i know all about passion..."nancy used to be alive and so im told and could well up all the passion in her breast and wimper" so when and when will see...i guess...i am waiting to hear from ian Dina: and only 10 tickets to go Edward: send me a picture of you in full form Dina: do you think graduation will be around christmas? aren't people busy with something else those days? Dina: Ahhh, pictures. i will try. i will ask my brother to bring over his camera next sunday. pictures are tricky and our first experience was not a good one Edward: i dont know it is the military and it is an 8 week program Dina: and when will i see a picture of you Edward: look would that i could love you...it is cyber magic and i am clueless Dina: didn't understand you last clueless about what Edward: i have to arrange for a scanner minor compared to the possibilities of the universe...as to the relationship between the written and the physical the translation between the ideal [the word] and its manifestation ...life Dina: ohh, Edward, rutzpah you won't let me see you perfection in image Dina: before i meet you on that lobby Edward: i'll send you an image in a day or two... Dina: compared to you my seriousness sounds like being humourous. i use to be VERY serious Dina: but with you i feel like playing and teasing Dina: which is good beyond words Edward: ah playing and teasing...yes and i am left to see you between the lines...poetry... Dina: domage i can't send you one of my poems Dina: it is hard to translate poetry but i will pick up one and try, as you deserve it Edward: the dance of mind how well we play and hope the self in self display the image true in thought didst have or else the dream did have Dina: i wrote a poem in english on my last honey moon: caged in LA but it was so desperate and sad, so i ytranslated into portuguese and lost the original Dina: but i want to send you an erotic one Edward: how well we play the dance of life Edward: ah let fly the words of self to speak and lay with me in bed and keep thy soft sweet soul of self, of lips of breast of wetted thought of self Dina: well, my private shakespeare... Dina: im speechless, hidden treasures... Dina: what value have those foolish profiles, life is nothing without intuition, eh? Edward: life is nothing without poetry...to ars poetica Edward: so as to those foolish profiles it was within that i felt your soft skin and the poetry of your words and it was the erotica of you and you to which i chose to speak Dina: im delighted but its not fair with me a foreigner improvising in a foreign language.. let us both be citizens of the same land of delight Dina: laugh you can, im not popular at all in cyberdate sites Dina: one and only you would catch up essence between those lines i wrote with impatience and lack of faith Dina: but showing clearly my inner self Edward: and why is that...too smart too bright ...what care the fool that in the rough does pass the emerald crystal bright Dina: oh, Edward, do you hear me laughing in pure delight? Edward: it is why and only why i spoke to you at all the subtlty of word with which you spoke the innocence of passion there displayed for to see like the scales of a butterfly ... Dina: i never met a match like you Edward: my dear i have to go i will speak with you tomorrow so say goodbye that i may not be abrupt...e Dina: did you reeeally see all these at first glance? tell me Edward: yes...why else would i have bothered... Dina: before you go... make your schedule between 27/12 and 4/1 i will be at your sight reach by then Edward: i will talk to you tomorrow. . e Dina: and a nice wonderful evening my sweet

Nov 23 Dina bytes of reality or reality bites

Dear Edward My life changed overnight when i met you. Parts of me that were numb woke up and i cannot put them back to sleep. You reminded me of myself, of who i am and what i can do. im currently living with my senile mother. This is not my house, not my style, not my soul, although we have a beautiful view from the 13th floor. Although i opted for simplicity i still value beauty and good design around me, and i miss it. She can't live by herself and doesn't accept someone beside me to take care of her (i have a brother who comes by for a couple of hours on sundays). im still figuring out a way to hire some help without bothering her but couldn't until now. I work at home, and as a rule only go out to spend 2 hours at the gym daily and do some shopping (but i eat movies anyway on dvd). Trouble is, she was not an ideal mother to me, overcritical, never reassuring, and now its ironic i have to spend 2 or 3 hours daily discussing what day it is and other crazy things. What happen is, i am now more of an Almodovar's character, on the verge of a nervous attack, that's why i need vacation so badly. Maybe if im out for a few days things will settle down a bit, i already have someone to look for her while im away. So i have to go somewhere and take a breath. When i moved here i donated 2 or 3 suitcases full of clothes to the slum victims of a flood. My brazilian contemporary paintings collection, some of it i sold, some gave away to friends. I even gave one back to the painter himself, to help his aids treatment. I now have 4 dresses and every time i buy one, i give one away and feel really good about it. So you risk seeing me in the same outfit more than twice. I enjoy being simple, but sometimes miss creative challenges and higher flights, that's why i may sound triste sometimes and with a sad look in pictures. But the me you woke up is bright, free spirited, full of energy and willing to live a good life, and im surprised how i can still be passionate after long. That's one reason why i love you. Bah, i did not intend to share problems with you, but then felt i needed to and now i am fed up with it and willing to change the subject. I loved typing with you. I could almost hear you laughing the first moment we connected and hope to meet you again this afternoon. Love/ D

Nov 23 Edward re: bytes of reality

Dear Dina: I am more mystic in the tradition of the essenes...my pilgrimage to israel was the last thing on my adgenda...ritual has a consequemce of consciousness...judaic totemics are as good as any...ie. the star of david...essentially the yin and yang resolution of opposites...and so forth...I regard food as medicine...I am not attached to it at all...the world tears the soul...one lives in a monestary or owns it...that was what the 100 acre retreat was about...stream, forest, lake...one faces god alone, not en mass...to me the ritual of the sabbath is a bottle of wine and a challah...and that is all...it is kind of a decimal point that marks both an end and a begining...it is enough to wake to consciousness...shared consciousness is marriage... .shared light without shadows...love Edward.

Dina: are you there Dina: are you back on line Edward: self evidently yes Dina: ora, ora... im here suffering to translate Edward: have you written the erotic piece Edward: you translate so well that you speak as a native speaker in preponderence Dina: i have written long ago, have chosen in my poetry book and im trying to translate, but i think it will be easier to write something fresh since i have enough english motivation now Dina: ah, dear, but not with symbol and metaphor Dina: it has been long since i wrote poetry Edward: that is the thing with symbol and metaphor they stand outside of grammar Dina: i only write poetry when im in love Dina: yes, but i don't know the words!!! Edward: so open your heart and speak Dina: portuguese is a rich language, akin to french Edward: the words will come not from thought but from impulse trust in the improvised Dina: we're not talking about speaking with an open heart, for this we do already Dina: but to play with words with multiple meaning now that a different matter Edward: words from the body speak greater truth than from the mind for the mind is separate from existence...the body lives in it...the mind cannot fathom swiming but the body can do it Dina: why doo you think mind is separate? i have a different theory Edward: mind is all inclusive and all evolving Dina: we are immersed in mind Edward: the words will dictate themselves...from instinct the multilevular meaning will be present. . .art contains all the meanings possible whether they are intended or not...to perceive art is art. . Edward: yes mind...but mind as being not as thinking...thinking is kind of like a typewriter...it is not existence it is a construction...the intrinsic self lives and is connected with the eternal...thinking is not living Dina: indeed you perception is not shallow Edward: it is within the spontaneous that perfect existence lays Dina: yes, motek, we were talking about translating poems, remember? Edward: so put aside the thinking sensoring mind and give feeling rein to type Edward: so if im translating something i wrote i have to do some work to find the meaning, the symbol, the rythm to my satisfaction with meaning and form Dina: yes, rythm is important. do you follow mine? Edward: im quick Edward: yes gaverit i remember that you conjectured that it might be easier to write something new and then came the metaphor and symbol restraint...yes i follow you your rhythm and your mime Edward: i do not think that the rhythm or the rhyme can ever be captured from the original portugese...the most you can do is capture the sense of it Dina: well if im to write something fresh it has to spring from the inside Edward: where else would it come...speak the impetus to speak without thought...let the self without sensoring speak and see what is said...it will speak to poetry Dina: that's not what i want for poetry without rythm is nothing, not rhyme but rhythm Edward: feeling has a rhythm inherent in itself dictated by feeling and the language itself Dina: and what about this cyber rhythm I respond to your phrase some lines ago, a big mess Edward: what? what cyber rhythm "mess" Dina: Edward, what time it is, about six? Dina: where are you? Edward: yes about six Dina: you know i never typed with anyone Edward: it sounds like you are hungry and need to say good bye Dina: i found it so boring Dina: im not hungry, nine here and i had dinner long ago Edward: how odd...i find it so intimate... Edward: though i only spoke with katherine...there is a way of entering you being within you... Dina: that's part of the fun in international cyber dating ( i just discovered this) Edward: fun it does not seem to do it justice...kind of like a ride in a carnaval Dina: i did not say i find it boring, but i found it boring but never really tried and now with you... Edward: it is mind-blowing Dina: i sleep early, because i wake up with the sun Dina: do you run too? Edward: yes shared mind kind of an intimacy. . like speaking while in you physicallly...in embrace...does that mean you are saying goodnight Dina: no, only telling you a bit about my habits. do you think i will be able to sleep so soon after this boring conversation? Dina: kidding, teasing you Dina: do you know i couldn't sleep at all for the first 3 nights after we met? Dina: i really did not know what was happening since i didn't know much of you by then Edward: there is an energy to intimacy to shared mind that is of the tantric...where the universe flows through you. . we are for the most part separated from each other that when there is conncection there is great energy Dina: but now i do and there goes my sound sleep again Edward: oh please stop...do not forget to follow your breath Dina: don't you feel energized? even though i couldn't sleep i would run better than ever Dina: those first nights, i mean Dina: like the dream i told you, i would run and run endlessly and never get tired Edward: yes i speak with you and there are chakras that are open...i rarely speak with anyone so intimately...it has been a long time...you have the willingness to do it...most people do not know how to open and share the self by themselves Dina: my heart chakra is opening wide and sending you a bright invitation Dina: do you know i was worried at first to use those kind of terms with you Dina: but now i see its one more thing we have in common Edward: those wide and varied experience with many languages of being Edward: yes your openness is experienced ...yeh that is why i used the term just now...translating in an idiom you would readily understand. Dina: sometimes words describe so well what we feel so why the prejudice Dina: i used to work with a pendulum over the chakras Dina: a pendulum i dreamed and can only make with my left hand (im right handed) Edward: most people are linear, not poets or travelers or lovers or mystic seekers of god or tsadiks...their prejudice is theirs...it is the responsibility of the speaker to communicate...so often the listener wants to hear what he wants to hear the way that he wants to hear it...quite juvenile and invevitably disappointing and shallow Dina: i don't use it any more but guess how magic a witch of goodness i used to be Dina: im still quite magic in love Edward: and what does that mean... Dina: but i will let you guess until you try Edward: and can i lay you down and spread your legs and lay my mouth against you...taste you embrace you Dina: yes dear, i invite you. Dina: new sensations since i never tried cyber orgasm Edward: how lovely...an adult Dina: what? do you often make sex on the internet Dina: at least you don't need a condom Edward: no never you are the first woman i have ever spoken with on the internet...except with katherine and that was only cursory...no when i am intimate what ever medium i am intimate...i have a capacity for intimacy Edward: a capacity for language and touch... Dina: intimacy is rare Dina: it was what was lacking on my marriage Dina: in fact i had never been really intimate with anyone Dina: i sometimes feel people fear me, but not you Edward: all there is is intimacy...few people are learned to be open to it...you are extremely intimate with me you are willing and fearless to engage with me Dina: people don't really get me, what i feel, what i thing and many times what i say Dina: think Dina: its so easy to open up with you, and im not afraid you will think im weird since i fell you are so much like me Dina: who else would spend time exchanging poetry on the internet Edward: it is odd when i was writing the last reply it was before i had received yours and i used the word fearless...then i received your message and the word fear appears...we are so very much in the same present in the same moment Dina: let's go back to kissing lips Dina: i can almost feel your touch the hair in my arms is electric Edward: it has been a long time since i have made love so completely this is a kind of love making...would that i could kiss your lips brush your cheek taste your tongue...press myself against you feel the wetness of you the smell of you the warmth of you would that i could slip between your legs and be within you feel you grab me with your being...goddess in love Edward: ah to kiss your breast hard nipples rising breast full the wet of you the smell of you arms legs intwined lips taste tongue wet Dina: you know Edward i feel like crying when love is strong and im almost in tears now Dina: i can't respond to you in words Dina: how i touch you with such sweetness Dina: gentle and softly at first Edward: ah how lovely your words... Dina: and taking a long, long time, timeless lovemaking Dina: in silence Edward: yes hours...breath to breath...body to body...lips to lips...cheek to cheek... Dina: only love sounds, not words Dina: hours, my dear, enjoying you Dina: looking at you, feeling your skin next to mine Dina: playingwioth your hair Dina: above and bellow Edward: i lay on you kissing your breasts tasting you biting your nipples my hand slips between your legs and feels the wet of you the flesh of you the heat of you i am hard with the thought of you Dina: i am wet with those words of you Edward: i am breathless breathing hard...my hands are wet...would that i could be in you hold you sitting embraced wet with each other Dina: ahh..Edward Edward: ahh sweet, zisel goddess...i come in you Edward: we write good love Dina: how did we come to that, tell me, so unexpected Edward: it was there for me in the begining or it was not Dina: now i can laugh loudly of pure pleasure Dina: what do you mean? Dina: there for you Dina: the cyber, imean Dina: i never did that Dina: i was a cyber virgin Dina: until you deflowered me Edward: when i read your words they were of poetry...of skin and such...i connected with you intimately i could feel you...have you never spoken of poetry of love with another Dina: poetry yes, well, rarely since i never had a poet to myself Dina: but not this language of love Edward: it is all human love love making is so little spoken of so little communicated...so little practiced...would that i could smell that flower... Edward: so we both write well both are in touch with our emotion both have no hesitation to express themselves...and intelligence how i lay with intelligence... Dina: well i imagined many time an encounter of souls but not an encounter of poets, or better, poets in love with each other it is huge Edward: poets making love expressing love...would that i could slip between your legs and kiss your mouth Dina: you didn't tell me before you were such a poet Dina: and you know me english flows so unexpectedly whenim with you Dina: my english Dina: i was worried before about expressing my self to a foreigner Dina: but if you are a foreigner in nationality you are not a foreigner to my soul Edward: dear Dina i have to go now i will speak with you tomorrow...love Edward Dina: bye then...

Wednesday nov 24

Nov 24 Dina a sea of red roses:

Edward: hello Dina: hi, cheri Dina: how are you today? Edward: good...and you Dina: im fine Dina: tired Dina: and can only do creative tasks Dina: cannot cope with daily routine Dina: thanks god i had a trade mark to study Edward: do it anyway... Dina: so i did Dina: although its not for money, Edward: why is the trade mark significant Dina: since i hadn't been workin with graphic design for long Dina: because im beginning an association with my shiatsu therapist Dina: and he needs a logo Edward: and Dina: he will figure as a therapeutic consultant for my virtual shop Edward: ah oh...yes i see... Dina: so im designing his logo, his website Dina: maybe we will exchange for sessions Edward: how does one lay hands on one virtually Dina: but i can't charge the real price or else he will give me sessions for free for a year Dina: its not virtual. im establishing a net of real therapists all over the country Edward: hmmm...yes always hard pricing friends...one is inclined to devalue our own work Dina: so if you buy a Clipfit and don't feel at ease to put it yourself, you pay a therapist session to show you how and train you Edward: ah...is that your ankle and ear in the catalogue Dina: i don't even know how to charge because i have been my only client for years ( i only design for my products) Edward: 50 bucks an hour sounds good Dina: yes, the ear has many points, so we only show 3 or 4 or else people get confused Dina: 50 bucks an hour? well, even for brazil is not much Dina: i can't charge that Dina: you know why? Edward: yes what is that your ankle and your ear Dina: im very quick with logos Edward: no why Dina: sometimes it takes me 2 minutes to create Dina: and then of course at least one day to perfect form Edward: ah so charge him 100 bucks...i really like the graphics on your web site Dina: or, as Picasso used to say, it takes me 52 years, 10 months 3 days and 2 minutes to create, can you calculate how much should i charge? Dina: yes of course i can ...you charge what someone is willing to pay...otherwise it is only an exercise in charging and not receiving Dina: ok, but i will consider your suggestion, because the technical part, designig the website, its a fair price even if our currency equals 3 for each dolar Dina: Edward, can i hear you laugh from my capricornian humour ( a little black) Dina: you can't take me seriously all the time or else you will go crazy Dina: did you receive my email in the morning Edward: no...i checked a bit ago but there was nothing... Dina: but how is that possible? i sent you an email on 8, fl time Dina: maybe its because of the music Dina: do you think hotmail rejects emails with sound? for its the 2bd time i send you music and you don't comment Edward: je ne sais pas...ah music how sweet...is that your ear and ankle that is in your catalogue Dina: in this way is impossible to be romantic Dina: do you have another email Dina: no, you wish, eh? its a professional model for hands end feet Dina: and she's only 20 Dina: clear skin Edward: was curious...lovely ankle, lovely ear...ah 20 of course...yes very much so Dina: i will type the message here, but i would love you to hear the music Dina: there goes the delayed email Dina: Mon cher Edward in this bright morning after we made love for the first time, i fill your house with wild roses, hoping to wake you up with the sweetest fumes and our first original poem, an unfinished study, a rough, a work in progress just like us. To find you in this vast universe (or to be found by you) is like finding a tiny 10 points diamond in the Sahara desert. im delighted with my luck. Dina: And now we meet again after eons wide apart Every man I had no more than a pale shadow of this unsuspected hidden future spying on me mocking me at every tiny stone (made huge by my wavering self) blocking my path to you

No more, my love the fountain is now here the source of your sweet, endless juices flowing towards me engulfing me While i surrender

Dina: to this delicate, promised land of yours wished well of sheer delight

I dream no more, my love I wish no more...

To be continued...

You fill my life with music and that's another reason why I love you.

Dina: music follows. so, you use outlook Edward: perhaps you can tell me the piece and i can imagine it in my head as i read it...more like a one point full cut stone...i wonder what the rhythm and sense of your words are in portugese...the word juices perhaps...what is the portugese equivelant that you meant Dina: ok, is Tito schipa singing don giovanni dalla tua pace Dina: i wrote this in english, no portuguese in the middle of it Edward: ah don giovanni dalla tua pace...classical...formidable...powerful Dina: tito schipa sings it beautifully, very sweet, i imagined i would wake you up with it... so you didn’t enjoy the poem, is it hard to get the meaning? Edward: i know that but the word juices is not a very romantic word in english...words like fluid...essence...what Dina: it´s not the way i figured, me explaining et all Dina: i told you the difficulty about metaphor Dina: a juicy person is something good Dina: so i meant juice, not essence, and double meaning Dina: hope you will enjoy the roses Dina: and try to find a tiny diamond in the sahara Dina: to see if it is easy Dina: now let's find a solution to this problem, you have to receive musical messages Dina: as much as for a joke, you cannot explain romantic word games Edward: i do like the poem very much for some reason i read the intro as the poem...it is quite lovely ...a person is never juicy...a piece of fruit is juicy and roast out of the oven is juicy...but a person is never juicy... i know all about finding a one point diamond in the impossible saharan...i dropped a diamond paper with a hundred stones into a shag carpet it took me hours to find them Dina: you will have to learn some portuguese my dear, why can't you be so sweet as a sweet fruit so i can eat you Edward: yes...no that is not true...you can explain romantic words and double entendres. . .that is what the study of english lit is about...the ability to speak of what is written Dina: oh, god, i forgot you are a teacher Dina: so teach me english, but remember Joyce (not that i compare, god forbid Edward: english tends to be more crass than portugese...less kind less foolish Edward: ah joyce...what laboring lumbering linguist Dina: you are right, more serious and compact, so you will need music Dina: like in laboring lumbering linguist, see? Dina: want to talk about astrology Dina: were you born in 1944 Edward: or style or light of words or rhythm made of sound in sound...speak some time to me in portugese so i can hear the sounds and rhythm of your mind and soul...yes let us speak of 44 sixish in the morning Dina: sixish? Edward: yeh 6am Dina: so i made your chart funny had to put an hour so i put 7;12 am Dina: and let me tell you dear your chart is amazing Dina: im not an astrologer so i dont care about the analysis, only about the design Dina: and i always look for closed figures Edward: maybe it was 7:12 that sounds good tell me what you have discovered of what do the stars and planets portray Dina: and you have one of the most rares: a kite. no 1, 2, one over the other would you like to see Dina: flying kit i mean Edward: so out with it woman what forms the heavens take to mark this mortals path on earth Dina: i will sen you later via email now we have to settle the thing about email music Edward: and the form is interesting... Dina: the form is not interesting, is marvelous Edward: sure Dina: only to confirm what i already know Dina: sure what/ i got confused Edward: i am going to be exiting in a bit... Dina: will you come back soon? Edward: i will try you later Dina: or not today Dina: but i still had so many things to talk about Edward: couple of hours or so...i still have an e mail address... Edward: yes what Dina: ok, dear i will wait for you Dina: you know, i booked the flight Edward: and Dina: you will be free to visit me on dez 28 Dina: up to jan4 Dina: in orlando Dina: or else i can drive chez toi Edward: we can speak of this as i think of this...the hotel lobby...moi, toi, nous Dina: i agree Dina: but we have lots of time to talk about it Edward: i am full of juices... Dina: i know Edward: it is odd that thou are so attractive to me...that i can be so arroused by words and mind...and of body what Edward: so much to do so little time...we'll talk Edward: farewell my love Dina: au revoir D

Nov 24 Dina Chart

Nov 24 Dina tempo

Go for a walk in Time as we feel the breath of God Since God expires the world blows us humans inspires all stars ... With his steady pulse creates life at each impulse For Time is like this: a path for atmosphere systole and diastole pumping the heart of God deep inside each one of us dear Edward, You disconnected my sense of time. And that's another reason why I love you

Nov 24 Dina’s astrological chart attached

Edward: etes vous la? Dina: are you back already? Dina: less than 2 h Edward: sorry didn't mean to interrupt Dina: kidding didnt have time to miss you too much Edward: yes as things turned out...i sent you a pic of me sans beard i dont know if you got it yet Dina: is your image big Edward: okay tell you when im ready...why Edward: yeh lots of bytes apparently Edward: took a while to send Edward: yeh its huge should have probablly been compressed Dina: i already sent you 2 emails with music Edward: ah emails and music picture with sound Dina: looks like my server is having some trouble downloading it Edward: um... Dina: yeah, you know, i had to make a research to find i way to do it, and now im having fun with it, want to share with you Dina: im creating a library with things i want to share Edward: ...so what happened with the pic? Dina: well, its paralyzed, if it gives an error message i will try again Edward: sorry about that Dina: no problem Dina: maybe you can zip and send again Edward: the picture is like 5 megabytes Dina: wait a minute i will try to see on the website Dina: that's why i studied a way to send you images and music in a smal 4k email Dina: i got it! wait a minute Dina: you are upside down! Edward: is it me doing this to you? Dina: wait a minute i will open another software Dina: i cannot copy & paste will print it Dina: can’t print either, Edward you will have to rotate and send again, who is ther with you Edward: okay i have sent another compressed and faster Dina: i will try again Dina: but i can already tell i like what i see is it recent Edward: maybe a year Dina: do you go to the beach often? Dina: you have a tan Dina: lots of hair Dina: how tall are you? is it ian? is much taller Edward: yes i am generally tan. . lots of hair...ian is 6 2 Dina: no, i wanted to know you, in metres, sorry Dina: you see, now that's something we are different Dina: i am quite white and not friendly with the sun Edward: shall i cut my hair...merde...i am 5'6" Dina: although i live in rio Dina: oh no, i LOVE you hair, dont cut before 2005 Dina: will you make me open a software to transform to metres? Dina: meters, cm Dina: are you always sooooo serious Edward: this place is at the beach it is forever in the sun...i drive around with the sun roof open...look ...ah the gravity in the face...yeh generally i find photographs trying...pointless...somebody else wanting to take a photograph... Dina: do you have a convertible? Edward: no an old beat up bmw with a sun roof Dina: so you are 1,67 mts and i am 154,good match Dina: now tell me about your eye Edward: there is a difference in vision between the right and the left the left being preferred by the brain and the right sort of content to be indifferent to the whole thing both have fairly good vision 20/20 corrected 20/30 corrected... . Dina: so when you look at me, what will each eye see Edward: since they have independent lives Edward: the images are essentially the same but apparently focus at different depths...i assume i will see you with the same clarity that i see a stone Dina: do you know, i only use lenses on my right eye, so the left sees far and the right sees near Dina: hei Edward im not a stone Dina: but you see, my brain had to get used to different eyes, although its a mechanical thing i think we will see the same way Edward: yes that was something that i thought was all to stramge that of the twin and all...something of great value that requires examination and study to have an opinion to know its value...to see what is there to be seen Edward: a critical eye Dina: twin? Dina: didnt get what you mean language flaw Edward: yeh your reference in one of your writings of how you thought there was a twin for you and that you had met three or four and had been sorly disappointed...and how you changed yourself so that you would attract a twin that was of someone that you loved... Dina: oh, an article, you mean Edward: a critical eye is an expression that means discerning judgement Dina: so do you think we're twins? souls, i mean Edward: yes an article a petit writing of yours Dina: well, we will see this about the eye. in the picture it looks, well, you know, different Dina: that's the thing about photos, its a still moment, void of the moving energy that makes all of us beautiful Edward: i think we share very similar minds...the right eye of yours is hazard...any way i perceive you through a variety of process besides the eye...intuitively... Dina: you will soon have an opportunity to criticize me and consider if im thin enough, not too much Edward: very often both eyes will focus about 6 inches from your face... Dina: but beware, i will work in photoshop first Dina: :) Dina: Edward, tell me a joke Dina: there was such a difference between the picture in jdate and the other pictures on the web site... Dina: how is it possible it is the same picture Edward: do you know what you call a mentally ill jew...a psycho semitic Dina: well, this one is good Edward: no not the clip fit photo the others that one arrives at on google Edward: i made that one up...glad you liked it Dina: where did you see a picture in google, i dont know about it Dina: maybe its not me... Edward: some interview in some publication about third or fourth one down...yeh maybe but it had that discerning eye of yours Dina: yes, i see now! well, the one on jdate is more recent Edward: i have about a half hour left then i have to go Dina: and more professional Dina: and less spontaneous Dina: and i still dyed my hair by then Dina: now i don't Dina: well, which one you like more Edward: yes i prefer the natural...why not...i like the jdate one...i told you Dina: do you smile often Edward: as much as anyone...my children make me smile...the abscence of them has the converse reaction Dina: well, i hope i will fix this a bit Edward: yes that will be good...i often smile making love...beauty makes me smile... Dina: you know, i have many plans for this vacation Dina: i will do many things i never do Dina: i will drive a car which i havent for 2 or 3 years) Dina: i will swiiimm, swiiim, and swimmm Edward: i cannot imagine that you have not done much in your life Dina: and i will make lots of love Dina: and be quiet with someone chattering on my year every minute Dina: what you can belive about me? Edward: i lost you for a moment Dina: chattering on my ear Edward: i believe that you are greatly experienced in the world...well traveled...an adventurer... Dina: yes, i used to travel a lot, but its been 6 years since i last did Edward: what is chattering on my ear...it does not sound good something a monkey might perhaps do or a magpie Dina: you no, i have this carer job and not much money Edward: you were a professor...where? and in what? Dina: yeahh, this thing about chattering not good, my mothers is behind me aalll the time saying crazy things and im tired Dina: not career, carer, i take car of mom Edward: so we'll say godnight Dina: already Dina: godnight or goodnight Dina: cause if it is godnight then we have to go on talking Edward: i thought you said your mother was chattering behind you...i know care career the difference it was just a thought...so i inadvertantly left an o out Dina: oh no that's not what i mean, thanks god she is going to sleep now Dina: i said she is chattering all day long Dina: we talk so much online how are you in reality Dina: do you talk a lot or are you quiet Dina: like you face suggests Edward: so where have you gone...i am always interested in engageing in conversation ...most of the time i have to direct it...most people do not have the capacity to formulate thoought...and to express it independently of the opinion of others...i engoy our intercourse...it is rare to find a woman so verbal...it is generally a male thing...im not talking about nonsense but about critical Edward: thinking...it seems that there is a limit to the amount of words that can be written at any one time in this format Dina: im getting expertise on typing Dina: i like you enjoy inteligence and a good talk, have you ever figured that i might be very critical too Dina: well that's another thing i will do on this vacation i haven't done for a long time Dina: enjoy inteligent and deep conversation Edward: il faut que je m’en vais in a few minutes...yes its self evident...but it is of no concern to me...i exist inspite of anyone Dina: i like to talk a lot too, and get very excited with ideas and insights, but haven't spoken much lately Edward: send me some photographs of you...i would like to see to whom i am speaking Dina: well, dear, let’s see if we can say goodbye today less abruptly Edward: goodnight Dina...e Dina: be pacient you will soon have a surprise Edward: bye Dina: bye Dina: love you

Thursday Nov 25

Nov 25 Dina Saudade

Dear Edward You are not online and i miss you, so i decided to teach you the meaning of the portuguese word saudade. Saudade is a mix of missing, with longing, with wishing for. A pain spiced by a dreamy sensation. Love and longing in the same word. Very unique. Difficult to explain. You can only feel it. This morning was dedicated to you. I asked my sister in law to bring her camera to the gym, so we took a few shots, just as if i was looking at you, smiling at you, you will soon see how i look, she only has to download the images to her computer. No photoshop this time. (laugh, never was) 100% crude and attractive reality. Hope you will love me then as much as i love you now. Then we had a spinning class, very strong one, 50 minutes and when it was at the climax, well, you know intense exercise can sometimes mimic an orgasm, or at least approach the sensation, there you were again. Our conversations are so precious and you give me so much energy to take the attitudes that i need to take. Today i was able to say things to my sister in law i couldn't say for 6 years, how they leave all responsability for mom on my shoulders, something i cannot cope with anymore. Mom has 2 children, not one and my brother lives 100 meters from here, less than a block, same side of the street. I was relieved, it was really a nice sensation. Yesterday, after we hang out, i logged in on jdate. I wanted to see your picture and take another look on your profile, see if it describes you well (it does). I often remain connected with you for quite some time when we say goodbye. To my surprise there was an online sign on your profile inviting to chat. I wonder if you saw i was there? ( didn't want to call you since we had been together until then) Shortly after i met you on line, since i had to pay US$35 to talk to you and thus acquired the right to login fully for a month, i took a turn to see what was there. Couldn't find one interesting soul. Now that i found you i don't have the least interest anymore and will disconnect from them soon with the excuse "I found someone" I wanted to affirm my commitment with you for complete truth, transparency, no shadows, no secrets. In case you saw me there and wondered. Love you, hope to see you soon/Dina

Friday Nov 26

Nov 26 Dina A poem for Edward's hair

Reste ta tete, cheri Heavy on my lap Let me dive into your thoughts through this strong, silvery mass of curls like the morning fog courting the valley Let me run bare fingers into this smoothness arriving gently to the slippery curve in your neck pouring wonders into your ear Let me now run a cold nail through your chest down to another silvery, smooth, slippery mass of curls framing wonders unimaginable hall of pleasures Then back to your sleepy mouth Let me dive my bare finger (nail and all) into your humid, tumid tongue and play till you wake up sealing this wonder love with kisses ... Dedicated to my juicy English Literature teacher

Saturday Nov 27

Nov 27 Edward Beneath thy skirt beneath thy skirt what wonders there do play in venus's mound my mouth doth rest and split the folds of skin with tongue and taste the sweet memory of pleasures dream...feel you rise and press against my face trace my tongue upon the curve of stomach between your breasts to rise and kiss that space to put your dug into my mouth and bite and suckle and trace with tongue and then to neck and chin and lips and mouth and tongue and face and eyes and kiss your brow and slip between the folds of self and join as one and stay as hours hard within you wet in love...Edward

Nov 27 Dina re: Beneath thy skirt and when we meet in flesh, no words. The bliss of silence, the heat of look, of touch, of smell... The mind no more. Love you, Ed/ Dina

Nov 27 Dina a taste of me Dear Edward I miss so much talking to you. So i send you this little taste of me. More tomorrow, please be patient. Ah! please change a line on my last poem, i typed wrong and it makes a huuuge difference: Let me now ride a cold nail through your chest instead of: Let me now run a cold nail through your chest Well, nooowww... Me!

love you. Dina

Sunday Nov 28

Nov 28 Edward rodin’s kiss i look forward to seeing more of you...it is the mind to which i court to which i speak it is the mind like sculpture in the louvre the kiss rodin in bronze the fingers of my mind trace in words it is touch by which i speak and words which do describe what hands would do and eyes would see...and so my love i will speak with you tomorrow...Edward

Nov 28: Dina serious matter now, Edward, this is serious matter. Last night i went to the theater. When i came back, (funny, wearing the most convenient round skirt) i read your poem and got so excited, wet, my labia all swollen, i HAD to touch myself (regreting the void of your absence) or else i would not sleep. After orgasm i slept peacefully for a few hours. Edward, how is it possible, you are the best lover i ever had, even though you have never touched my skin. And that's another reason why i love you/ Dina

Nov 28: Dina as promised

Dear Edward, im finally sending you the pictures. Please be patient while downloading first and last pages for the first time. Couldn't make it faster due to technological restraints, sorry... Once downloaded try to reload for best effect. Click on the link to check Hope we'll talk tomorrow Love/ Dina

(Edward disappeared form MSN for more than 5 days during the holidays. Dina was disappointed, than sad, than angry, than gave up on all male human race)

Monday nov 29

Edward: comment va tu Dina: hei, Edward Edward: qu’est ce qu’il passe? Dina: where were you these days Dina: did you travel for the holida^? Dina: oliday Dina: bad bad typing. holiday Edward: well it was thanksgiving holidays and i am using other library's or cyber cafe computers...and they were all closed...no i did not travel...bad typing toi? Dina: where are you Dina: don’t you have a home computer Edward: no Dina: how can you write those messages in public Edward: i am ascetic Edward: very rapidly and very privately Dina: now i understand many things Edward: they are not seen Dina: so you don’t keep a record of anything Edward: the computers are secured...really pray tell what do you understand Edward: well there is a record on hot mail... which i do down load and look at the pictures and read the text...so that i can think about you Dina: the time between your messages, for example Dina: we are doing high art here Edward: yes the time between my messages...for example...i mean i could spend twenty or thirty $ at a time talking to you ...but today i am at a rural library with state of the art computer gear and i suspect i can talk to you for hours with out being interrupted Dina: what do you mean, cyber shadow Dina: well, let me prepare for hours (kidding) Dina: as im home, im more comfortable than you to love Dina: does that mean that with more or less 20 days typing you could buy a computer? Edward: really what is high art...cyber shadow pretty good word it is odd how things come through me...trying to find the relationship of our mind and the physical reality of our being...this is all new to me you have played this game...danced this dance before and you have learned the relationship between feeling generated from typing and the physical self...there were some pictures of you that Dina: no, dear, you are mistaken Dina: i never did this before Dina: remember i didn’t have msn Edward: are consistent with my feelings for you and are easily transfered...there are some pictures that please me that arouse me that make me hard for you and there are others that do not...but so what...no i only use the cyber cafe when i do not have access to the library reality. .. Edward: you never did what before? corresponded with a cyber lover and formed a relationship ala long distance in the physical dark Dina: never had a cyber lover. exchanged some emails. when i met my former husband, there was no communication on line, only emails Dina: and anyway, i never reached this kind of intimacy before on line Dina: and maybe not even in real Dina: about pictures, im risking no? im never looking good in pictures Edward: sorry well it says something of both our writing abilities and minds...to translate thought to word and you are so honest in your emotion...it is rare and bespeaks great sanity Dina: like you, i hate to be photographed, a body with movement, energy, smell, light, is something elese Edward: yes but you are looking good in words...i love you Dina that is absurd but those are the feelings that arise when you pass through me Dina: but i wanted you to feel secure about my appearence, so i did an effort Dina: why is it odd to be loved, like you said, completely? that's the salt of the earth, isn't it Dina: as soon as we start to type i feel this strong energy exchange between us Edward: yes i know and i was very pleased you helped me along...with the movement in which we are going...i want to take your clothes off and lay with you...you evoke passion in me...i love your mouth i would like to part it with my tongue and bite your lip Dina: hei, Edward Edward: salt of the earth is the wrong expression it means a regular joe...we are way past the ordinary...you may mean the nature of normalcy uncontrived Edward: yeh what Dina: do you now this theory of morphogenetic fileds Edward: probably, but ellucidate s'il vous plait Dina: of though transmitting in a field specific to humans Dina: a memory file for human race, field in the physics sense Edward: yes and Dina: i think our feelings being so real, that´s the reason. we share the file, Dina: really, not in theory Edward: yeh like having a thought and having it manifest itself in reality...or thinking of someone and having them call or similar synchronitic phenomenon Dina: so in a way we are really, physically together Edward: yes i have a sense of the purity of our energies and consciousness...a truth a verity Dina: i think that im so proficient in english because i can catch your thought Dina: i've never been so fluent Edward: i loved that your labia was swollen and wet Dina: the hair poem, do you want to know how i wrote it? Edward: yes i perceive you and always perceived you as fluent Dina: yes Dina: running Dina: i was running and suddenly came the first verse, in french Dina: than i went on, always running and trying to memorize the words until i could write on paper Edward: really running...how curious but then you dreamed in running...you are translating symbolizing our relationship Dina: and it was like the words and the path were ready somewhere i only had to pick Edward: running is becoming a metaphor for our relationship Dina: do you feel we are running? or hasty Edward: yes the path is given...we are there arrived Edward: what are you talking about...running is your metaphor...i think of you as with knees apart arms entwined in embrace Dina: well i think about that when we are separated Dina: that i should be more cautious Edward: which Dina: but then when you meet someone that you feel have the same values Edward: ah...should we forget it. .. Dina: have been through similar experiences Edward: we occupy the same space the same mind... Dina: and have a similar way of feeling, of reacting Edward: yeh which is that Dina: how can you help not diving Dina: i am already dived Edward: me too Dina: im completely immersed in you Edward: elucidate about being through what similar experiences and feeling and reacting...be right back Dina: or as you said, we share the same space and in a way we are already one Dina: what there is to elucidate Dina: we are part of the same generation that broke all the rules Dina: that researched deep inside Dina: that woke up consciousness Edward: yeh i have been to the end of that journey Dina: and then many of us are today alienated from this rich (ops, dont know this word in english) life Dina: and then you meet someone that is the expected result of this, with a high consciousness, someone evolved and awake Dina: its an emotion beyond words Dina: sometimes better than sex Dina: although sex is awesome Edward: yeh bravo some of us have surved what do you mean sometimes better then sex it sounds that this a multiple series of experiences for you...it is rare that i find someone that can follow along with me yes...i love making love to you can feel your breath and feel you surround me. . Edward: what do you mean sex is awsome...generally or what Dina: ours silly Edward: yes and Dina: back to ascetism do you know everything i own can be contained in a small suitcase Dina: well, i have a computer Dina: an old one, too big to carry Edward: yes it has been a while since i cared about having stuff...when i had the house and the family and all i had a grand piano...and all kinds of suff...new jeep new camaro...new new new ...i don't give a damn right now... Dina: do you play the piano Edward: i suppose i can go out and get a bunch of new things again Dina: but you know i feel better and much more free being simple Edward: no...but ian and charles and i would sit and improvise the three of us and we created music...i play a little classical guitar...though i gave that away also Dina: how is your house Dina: do you live by the sea Edward: well i had a jewelry workshop Dina: but now my life is organized in a way that i can be anywhere and still function Dina: well, i would need a laptop Edward: if we were living together i would have to get stuff...i live in a garret...three rooms the front room is about 30 feet long...all windows it is an old victorian house 1912 as are most of the houses in st augustine...st augustine is on the ocean...there is an ancient spanish castillo on the waterfront...i live about three blocks from the sea...it is all about the sea Dina: what does garret mean, i have to look in the dictionary Edward: yes and i would need to seriously begin to generate money Dina: ok, i looked Dina: garret, i like it Dina: how do you live today, concerning money Dina: i have some reserve but in USA wouldn’t be much Dina: but i have a good business that can be easily explored Dina: the therapeutic magnetic jewelry, i mean Edward: i live above a deaf man...old guy owns the building forever...does ratan reweaving...but he can’t hear a damn thing...so i can play music without regard to loudness...i work a couple of days a week helping my brother in his store and i sell $1000 or so a month to wholesale accounts... Dina: tell me, why did you sale the store Edward: i could drive a taxi...kind of like Sidartha transporting people across the river... Dina: i don’t see you driving a taxi Dina: let’s open the american market for my products Dina: the piercing and the anklet are awesome Dina: they really work Dina: the anklet treats the sexual energy in women Edward: which store...the one i sold to mly brother a year and a half ago...or the one in hawaii...the one here was too much for me i did'nt care to do it...i had made my brother my partner... and he wouldn't do anything...so ...st augustine is a very artsy fartsy community Dina: good for pms Dina: and menopause Dina: a huge market Dina: you seem to have very high sexual energy Dina: well but that's not due to the anklet Dina: but i control pre menopause symptoms very well Dina: my high sexual energy today can be credited to you Edward: yeh i usually realize 10% of the concept...magnets as therapy has been here a while...i have seen it as bracelets for the arthritic Dina: what is different about my work is that it deals with pressure on acupuncture points Dina: it is something different Edward: yeh right...you are very sexual...your writing...on jdate showed creat sensualness Dina: i will bring some for you to see Dina: but in jdate i didn't show a thing, since its not there like this, without a motif Dina: i think you saw something cause you were already connected to me Dina: i also owned a shop, and couldn’t keep it Dina: i suffered when i had to close Dina: but now i feel so much better Dina: it was not such a small business Edward: first the language was short and poetic you spoke in feeling and imagery of feeling...yes one has to occupy the same space to perceive the same thing the same way Dina: i had 50 employes Edward: wow...it is the employees that will kill you...what happened Edward: what did you do with all of your accounts Dina: well you know, brazil is, or was, a bit unstable, to say the least Dina: so i succumbered to one of those crisis Edward: yes no doubt... Dina: political, economic Dina: and also got depressed with the situation couldnt go on Dina: what i regret is that i didnt have the strength to sell the business as a whole, with its trademark value Edward: yes i know about that...what precipitated the couldnt go on thing Edward: do it again... Dina: so i fragmented and sold store by store (i had 4) Dina: and ended without money Dina: i don’t want to do it again Edward: merde...that is so much to deal with Dina: it is very convenient to own a virtual shop Dina: i sell more or less as much as you Edward: yeh i know...neither do i...life can be a lot simpler Edward: so take off your clothes and come to bed Dina: i wish, dear Dina: you know sometime when im in bed i really feel your arms around me Dina: i hunger for your warmth Dina: embracing me Dina: do you like to sleep together Dina: i mean sleep, really Edward: are you kidding Edward: yes so do i Edward: it is nice when you can Dina: do you like to make love in the morning Edward: yes...i like to sleep with myself in you...wake to you and breath the warmth of morning from your body Dina: so let’s keep the garret Dina: it must be charming Dina: and i am a good interior designer Dina: very imaginative Dina: already did a lot of furniture and objects from trash Dina: but we dont need much better to have a lot of space Dina: so our love can fill it Edward: i would not call it charming...if i throw out the furnishings that were there and bought new furniture...and painted the place...maybe...but an ex paramour of mine lives directly behind me...she owns two houses probably a half million each...it would be awkward...she is in hawaii and will be back on the tenth...she was a friend of katherine and sort of filled the gap when katherine Edward: and i parted...we have not been lovers for over a year but there is proprietary thing in her mind...it is a small town and everybody knows everybody...it would be best to find someplace out at the beach. Dina: you said you were willing to relocate Edward: our love can fill it huh...let us see how the meeting goes between us and if there is consistency between the dream and the reality Dina: would you like to live somewhere else Edward: sure...i am not tied to geography... Dina: so maybe we could start fresh in a new location for both Edward: i would like that Dina: but i haven’t been that flexible with moving Edward: let us see if we even like each other in reality... Dina: although i lived in many places Edward: women tend to be nesters... Edward: it is more difficult emotionally and biologically i think for women Dina: Edward, i was already riding this home planning Dina: cause its something i did on my own Dina: but of course its all still on theory Dina: although im sure it will not remain like this Dina: and you started it Edward: what is riding this home planning? Dina: not me Dina: i only folowed you,cause it caused me pleasure Edward: what Dina: playing with the idea of living together Edward: ah...yes i see...that would be nice...god to love you and turn in the morning and have you naked in bed with me and roll up on you and make love to you...wouldn’t that be great if that were the reality...if we really did fit together... Dina: i hope we will Dina: im sure we will Edward: chemistry is such on odd thing... Dina: cause when i finally see you, i will see this lover i've been enjoying for some time Edward: are you getting tired...your sentences are getting shorter Dina: im not tired at all Dina: i feel an emotion running through me all the time we are typing Edward: it is me that i am worried about... Dina: what worries you Dina: my skin is, let me explain, not wet and not dry, to the point Dina: im not sticky Dina: laugh Dina: it took me so many hours to convince you visually and you still doubt you will love me like crazy Dina: kidding Edward: yes me too...i can feel you in my groin...aching...i am slightly wet...i am sticky... Dina: did you hear my voice Edward: no the program indicated that there was a flaw...so no...i will try later again...what did you say Dina: what i said is not important Dina: the voice is Edward: yes the voice is...the sound of the voice Dina: one more sense we can share on line Dina: although through a microfone, its not my forte Dina: i had to borrow a microphone and my brother was here Dina: but we will soon share all 7 senses Edward: so are you wet now or your skin is normally wet Dina: it is not my skin that is wet... Dina: so what do we do now, in bed again Dina: can’t keep apart Edward: after speaking with you there is invariably the slightest of emission...just a bit of sticky secretion Dina: and how do you leave the library Dina: its hot here Dina: i had to open the window Dina: be back in a minute Edward: why is your skin neither wet nor dry...nothing is visible...but when i got home i noticed that the tip of my penis was sticky Dina: i was talking about the feeling of touching skin Dina: which is important Dina: i can’t describe exactly what kind of skin touch im talking about Edward: yes i would like to hold you in my arms and feel the softness of your skin the smoothness Dina: anyway love is the greatest ingredient on the chemical formula, isn’t it Edward: and i would like to sink in your embrace and rest for a moment Edward: ever so lightly breath blown across the surface of the skin electric rising... Edward: it would be nice if we connect like that... Dina: only a short moment, cause we couldn’t be long without caressing Dina: touching Dina: exploring each others depths Dina: physical depths and soul depths Edward: you seem to be out of energy Dina: no, listen Edward,i went to the kitchen to grab a nut Dina: my mother is very disturbed today Dina: so she keeps entering my room and talking endlessly Dina: she is worried that im busy Edward: what a burden that is...consuming of the self Dina: she feels something but cant decode it Dina: for six years i was dedicated to her Edward: how did your family end up in brazil Dina: but know my energy is flying else where Edward: six years is a terribly long time the end of one’s youth... Dina: well, my mom’s dad came from palestine in the 1920's Edward: that is very far out...why brazil Dina: my father's family came from poland long before the war Dina: because it was a land of opportunity Dina: still is Dina: my father was a wonderful man Dina: i loved him very deeply Edward: was he an early zionist or a refugeee of world war II Dina: but he died in a car accident when he was 43 Dina: no refugees in my family all zionists Dina: i was born in israel since my parents made aliah Dina: but then life in israel was difficult Dina: my father was disappointed Dina: my grandfather was reach and tempting Dina: they came back, which i don’t regret Dina: i love brazil Edward: what about your family Dina: grandfather was rich i mean Edward: but how does one decide on brazil for a jew it seems so primitive...was your father a teacher... Dina: no, business man Dina: lots of jews came to brazil Dina: or argentina it was a common destination Dina: maybe it was easier to come here Dina: than the states, for instance Edward: russian...odessa and kiev...on my mothers side my grandfather fled the tzar...he had a brother that had come to new york in 1910 and at 17 he bought off the border guards in poland and fled to new york...he settled in boston and owned restaurants...after ww ii he went to lA and opened a delicatessan there he and my grandmother were kind and gerous people... Edward: my fathers family were also from russia...in the late 1800's fleeing the pogroms my greatgrandfather [a rabbi and cabinet maker] came to boston Dina: so why food is a remedy for you Dina: gastronomy is in your blood Dina: you know, my family did not have a history of tragedy or pain, only poverty, i think Dina: poverty in europe and palestine Dina: no holocaust victims either Edward: food is no remedy for me...i grew up with food but long ago on my journey gave it up...one eats to feed the body...you would be surprised how little the body really requires to eat Edward: what kind of business was your father in. . Dina: i know that i eat little but enjoy. no sugar, no fat,etc Edward: what city in israel were you born Edward: my father owned a furniture shop, and also a record shop before that Dina: i was born in tiberias Dina: but you know, my father was so inteligent, but didnt graduate from college Dina: and he made money with stocks Edward: i have been in tiberias...how old when you left...that is why i thought he was a professor...for some reason maybe because you are so smart Dina: not long ago my mother still had them but then i had to reform the financial situation to risk less and have enough for a long time Dina: i was one when i came to brazil in fact i lived in the kibutz Edward: you are "tres" smart Dina: i had a good education, no doubt Edward: you went to university Dina: well, i know i am inteligent and had opportunities Dina: my family likes culture, music, at, but as spectators, not producers, so that makes me very different form them Dina: yes, i told you, i graduated in architecture Edward: yes sorry...masters Edward: you also told me you taught...where Dina: but never build a house. since the beginning i was a graphic designer Edward: ah the architecture of design Dina: and then furniture designer, and then jewelry Dina: always designing something Dina: but you know, i was famous Edward: really famous...i am impressed Dina: my apartment was published and i was called the "vanguard" of brazil Dina: by the press Edward: singularly the vanguard of brazil...your apartment in rio...different from you mother Dina: but i wasn’t satisfied with fame, Dina: yes. i used to be a penthouse owner Edward: this was with your first husband Dina: 2 penthouses in fact, the 2nd smaller and simpler but still a penthouse Dina: no husband included Dina: i owned both alone Dina: i lived alone for the most part of my life Edward: why did you give it up Dina: what? Edward: the penthouses Edward: it seems a shame to have such a love live alone Dina: oh, i never had enough money, you know? i was really ahead of my time, so i had many customers dreaming at my windowshop but few buying Dina: furniture...jewelry Dina: so at a point i decided to sell the house and invest the money so that i could be free to do whatever i felt like Dina: without so many bills to pay Edward: yes i know what that is like Dina: and i lived alone, since the love of my life was years ahead Dina: smile Edward: thou art too kind Dina: so i was chiseling my being to be ready when he comes... Dina: i spend years getting rid of excesses to be ready for you Edward: and you have fashioned yourself in my likeness Dina: i have been a bohemian once Dina: lots of alchool and night life Edward: it is a word i use... Dina: only wore black for quite some time Edward: yes im wearing a black turtleneck Dina: i also owned 2 bars Edward: you are a character Dina: but now i don’t use black anymore Dina: only a jacket Edward: i would like to see you in black lace Dina: black lace, dear, you will get disapointed, im very basic now Dina: would you like me to change Edward: or nothing at all Dina: i only have plain underwear Edward: i would prefer you wore nothing at all Dina: and i dont buy this idea of erotic outfit, i think its tacky Edward: change into what something that you are not Edward: the bare skin is more erotic Edward: i would much rather have you naked... Dina: energy is so much stronger than empty fantasy Dina: so give up black lace Dina: but i think you will find that i have style Dina: in simplicity Edward: yes it was a vision of you naked in black and white Dina: more white Edward: a bauhausian photograph Dina: than anything Edward: yes white like porcelain Dina: not like this, not that white Dina: but the light looks good Edward: time to say goodbye? Dina: do you want to say good bye Dina: cause i could be here for hours, but maybe you have to go Edward: i would like to see you naked...something i could take to think of Edward: no it just seemed that i was becoming tedious for you Dina: oh, dear, but not in pictures Dina: you will have to wait 4 weeks Edward: no of course not not in pictures Dina: and not 1 more day, i hope Dina: 3 mondays from today Dina: you are not tedious to me Dina: and im enjoying our conversation today very much Dina: although i love typing about love making and feel it strongly Dina: i also want to know you better Dina: and today we did this Dina: i mean, know about your practical life, family, those things Dina: cause im sure i know you intimately Edward: was your native language polish, portuguese, israeli? Dina: my native language is portuguese Dina: i speak a little hebrew, but don’t like it, feel shy Dina: and also associate it with that thing in family that you speak a language nobody understands so you can talk in secret Edward: yes let us talk in secret... Dina: i don’t speak french, but understand and know words Edward: with you secrecy is a must Dina: we speak many languages Dina: hand language Dina: tongue language Dina: smell language Dina: smile language Dina: eye language Edward: kiss do not forget kiss Dina: kiss language alright Edward: and touch do not forget touch... Edward: i kiss you slowly, while my hand goes through your smooth hair Dina: do you like long kisses Edward: i love to linger in your mouth taste the sweet clean taste of it...the wet consciousness of it Edward: i looked carefully at your mouth today and thought i could kiss those lips and make love to them Dina: and i explore your tongue with my tongue, getting to know your firm teeth Edward: they were very conscious...i can praise consciousness and kiss is praise Edward: i love the shortness of your breath the soft inhalation and exhalation the heavy breathing your breast rising and falling Dina: my lips open smoothly to receive you Dina: and i yearn to feel you mouth going down through my body Edward: i close your lower lip in my mouth and oh so slightly touch with tongue and teeth and breath Dina: and i bite gently the tip of you ear Dina: sucking your neck softly Edward: i softly kiss your neck and trace with kisses down between your breast and put you in my mouth how sweet the hardness of your nipple wet with kiss...with tongue...i put you all in my mouth touch the tip of you with my tongue Edward: i hold your face between my hands and kiss your eyes your cheeks your nose your mouth Dina: Edward, i don’t know the word for love sound Dina: the sound im making Dina: pleasure, ultimate pleasure while you kiss my body Dina: i want you to touch my sex now,... Dina: feel the wetness Edward: let me kiss your belly wet you slowly till i come to the curls that touch you...i touch your hood and lay back to see you hard and with my tongue taste you...feel you writhe... Edward: slowly ever slowly slip my tongue between your swollen labia...my face covered in your wetmess...place my tongue within you have you hold my head in your hands and moan Dina: i shiver, and delight in your tongue Dina: how i like this Dina: slowly Dina: gently Edward: my tongue penetrates within you tracing the sides of you tasting you smelling you i kiss your thighs feel the slow movement of your being linger with my face in you kissing you tongue in you tasting you Dina: please Edward, enter me now Dina: let me feel you hardness within me Dina: while we kiss Dina: and fly Dina: and enter a reign of magic Edward: i raise my face and trace my self along the path I’ve come to your mouth and open your mouth with my mouth and kiss you and hard i slip between the folds of skin so wet so wet and enter you first the tip and then the fullness of me till the hilt till i touch the inside of you the place from which man is born Edward: and Dina: i want you to feel the pulsating, pressing you Dina: as i suck you deeper and deeper inside me Edward: you grasp me with the muscles that only women know and hold me dear within...and stoke and stroke i bring your knees up to your chest and fill you more with me Dina: and we move together to this celestial music only lovers hear Dina: first slowly Dina: sweetly Dina: gently Dina: you tremble around me...the smell of you the wetness of you i hold your butt beneath my hands and hold in kiss Edward: we stop as one deep within breath to breath chest to breast Dina: we are one wide as the universe breathing Dina: you and me one body only Dina: fortunate creature Dina: you hold me strongly and we look deeply into each others eyes Edward: open eyes to see your beauty while loving me Edward: and kiss you in total consciousness awake Edward: deep within you hard the folds of your being filled with blood engorged...throbbing to both our pulses Edward: you slip me out so just the head remains inside and the rise and capture me completely again Dina: oh Edward, the intense heat goes up to my head, flooding me with your energy Edward: i am hard dear Dina hard...i yearn to put my hands between your legs and enter you Dina: i can feel you completely my love Dina: come inside me, dear Edward Edward: Dina Dina Dina come Dina fill me with your self Dina: now i close my eyes and travel across the globe to meet you Edward: let me come in you Dina oh Dina let me fill inside of you and come within you and hold you oh Dina Dina Dina let me come in you feel you throb shudder fill you with my seed dripping wet Dina: our bodies can be separate but our souls united in deep love and communion Dina: i can really, literally feel you across the distance Dina: what i feel dear is too strong to describe Edward: can you feel how hard i am how wet i am my heart is beating Edward: hold my head in your hands and press my face against you Dina: yes my love i can feel you Edward: are you wet...is your labia flushed Dina: let me now kiss your body all of your body i caress you skin with my tongue till i get to your penis Dina: and i kiss it gently Dina: and play with it with the tip of my tongue Dina: while you touch my hair sweetly Edward: i kiss the top of your head my hands holding the sides of your head Dina: and i suck you in my mouth, a vessel of sweet nectar Edward: my hands hold the heat of your cheeks trace the jaw touch your ears and come in your mouth Dina: ah, Edward, come inside me now (before you come...) Edward: i slip down and kiss your mouth wet with come and enter you fill your throbbing self again and come again again Dina: let’s move in unison Edward: we come together Dina: Edward, my love Dina: feel me pulsating around you Dina: we breath together Dina: moan together Dina: Edward, my love Edward: Dina Dina i feel you throbbing around me...wet your legs entwined round mine your hands holding my face our mouths and tongues as one...in and out and in Dina: yes yes Edward: i come with you Edward: spread your legs wide Dina wide wider and open your self to me let me split you enter you fuck you oh Dina i love you let me come in you come in you come in you Dina: oh god Edward: we hold each other in soft embrace and kiss Dina: caramba, Edward (portuguese expression of awe) Dina: i love you Edward: i am still in you Dina full in you you have swelled around me Dina: would you like some fresh water Edward: your soft wet nakedness i embrace and drink un peu de l'eau Dina: there we go again Dina: endless waves of love,of softness Dina: i can spend days here Dina: in your embrace Dina: i can spend a life curled inside you Dina: listening to your heartbeat Dina: my precious Edward: kiss my breasts Dina kiss my mouth my lips Dina: i gently bite the tip of your nipples Dina: and kiss your closed eyes Edward: and and and do not stop there Dina embrace me kiss me Dina: i run my tongue between you breasts Dina: playing with the hair in you chest Dina: caressing you with my wet tongue Dina: smelling the delightful parfum in you groin Dina: best smell in the world Edward: let me touch your clit with my tongue gently touch the tip of it over and over again touch the side of it peel back its hooded cover till it stands its proud self erect taste it touch it Edward: you are wet now filled with both ourselves...and so to sleep Edward: are you there or have you gone Dina: im here alright Dina: can barely type Dina: i am smiling Dina: if i had 3 hands it would be better Edward: touch yourself Dina make your self come think of me Dina: will do this when we hang up... Don’t want to leave you alone... Dina: unless i had 3 hands.. Edward: what are you thinking about Dina: im not thinking, only feeling Dina: i didn’t have a thought for the last hour or so Edward: there seemed a pause Dina: only feeling you and the dust of stars that follow you Dina: i think im tired now... Edward: i would love to smell your neck right now smell your hair hold you and say goodnight Dina: i hate to let you go, dear, but its time... Dina: i will dream of you.. Edward: au revoir Edward: love Edward Dina: au revoir cheri will you call tomorrow Edward: yes i will try to find some pictures of you to dream of Dina: sweet dreams my love i embrace you curl at your side and fall asleep... goodnight...

Nov 29 Edward re: a taste of me

So many faces Dina so many forms...some I respond to most lovingly...am pleased...and some are like a cyber shadow...but how i respond to your thought to your eroticism...to your physical consciousness...and to the passion of your love...it is odd to be loved so well...so completely so consciouslyso intelligently . .the rhytm of your thought is pleasing on my mind...there are no empty spaces...I was pleased that you were wet and your labia swollen...I loved that you touched your sellf...and orgasm such sweet orgasm...how I'd love to feel you tremble...shudder...hear the sounds you make...I will speak to you in a couple of hours or so...I am hard with the thought of you... love Edward

Nov 29 Edward how soft thy spoken voice in Portuguese.

I heard the soft dulcit sound of your voice...how lovely...and the music to your picture...so apparently hearing audio attachments are not of any problem...thank you for making love with me...it was lovely...thank you for the phallacio...it was quite lovely...would like to have laid in you in embrace and slept...I respond to strength...can hear it feel it...it was odd while we were making love you would write things that i had just written...there was a certain synchroniscity to it...same mind ...bon nuit...Edward

Tuesday Nov 30

Nov 30 Dina morning i wake up with the sun rising from the sea - a red giant ball of energy - and we are still tied in a close embrace. I have to go so i gently move your leg and arm to free myself. i kiss your forehead and stroke your hair to let you sleep. i slept well, no dreams. your warm body next to mine is the best dream i ever had. i can hardly believe i finally found someone as crazy as me as we let ourselves fly with the wings of passion, expressing ourselves freely without limits... And that's another reason why i love you.

Nov 30 Dina writes to her friend Jena mucho loco

My darling jena

This so called love is something really crazy, man. I don’t know how could I live 6 years without it. And neither how I will live this being an oldie on my fifties (laugh) But you asked for it, now go for it! I already discovered the reason why Edward disappeared from msn on tha last few days. The man does not have a computer!!! Do you believe me? He types with me on the library’s computer, and it was closed for thanksgiving. At the cybercafe you can go bankruptcy, he told me that a short talk (something like 3 hours or more, like ours) costs about US$30 or more. He told me he is an ascetic, talk comes and goes he starts to tell me that if we are to live together he will have to find a way of making some $$$$$ (!??!!!????). This time I hit a crazy one just like myself. The worst of it is that inside my little head I already have it all planned, you know me. But this once there will be people suffering in the middle of it (mummy & cia) and this I yet don’t know how it will going to be. Hope to type with you later. Little kiss/ D

Nov 30 Dina something odd dear Edward something odd is happening would like to share with you. You know suddenly my mother is sounding so lucid. everything she said this afternoon is true though seasoned with emotional manipulation and blackmail. And what does she say? That she is living alone, that she wants to move to a smaller apartment, that she wants me to live my life and have a good time, just like solving all the problems and giving me support to take my leap even if she doesnt know a thing about what is going on with me. In a way she is making my life and my tough decisions easier. Love/ D

Nov 30 Dina a jewel among jewels

Dear Edward when i read our love writing its so astonishing to discover we are so entangled sometimes its difficult to say who is writing what (even though you are a lit teacher and im a daring foreigner) who is the man and who is the woman both wet and hard and your care with spelling just like mine to the point of having a dictionary on another window when i have time to look and words are not flushing too quickly and the sweetness mixed with crassness always elegant though and the persistent feeling that we are creating an yet unknown genre of literature... look below how you have written my own words: Dina i am a writer i write what has not been written yet...someone has to cross to the otherside of consciousness...to speak of what is not imagined...how many beings are at this moment so intimately entwined means we are one at multiple layers of consciousness even our deepest secrets are shared in a multilayered love if this is not new and unexpected and unpublished then i dont know a thing... Love you Edward every moment of my day, every cell in my being every thought in my mind or vibration in my soul/ Dina

Nov 30 Dina (cancels her subscription at Jdate) it is done

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Edward: good morning cher ami Dina: hei, Edward are you up already Edward: i didn’t disconnect from you yesterday yet Edward: yes i could not sleep you were with me all night and i woke with the need to enter you Dina: im re reading our talk Dina: no no disconnect Dina: while we are typing we loose a few things we say, so i have to review it Edward: yes our talk and love making i hope it was as good as it was for me i loved your oh god Edward: it is odd the flow of things Edward: Dina i hunger for you Dina: Edward, dear our( ...??? what's the word for that) yesterday was awesome Dina: i just had lunch and am having tea now Edward: what was the word for that semi cyber love...prosaic love Edward: tea na na...green tea mint tea quoi Dina: i think we transcended cyber long ago green tea Edward: Dina i love you would love to have you naked beside me...feeling the warmth of your soft smooth skin against me...your leg around me your breast against me Dina: did you check my morning email Edward: Dina i can smell you the soft sweet smell of woman ...i wish i could hold you...yes i checked and read you would like to make love to you Edward: this process takes such damn slow time Dina: i remember on our first dates you made my time stop Dina: now i want you to haste time and make the next 4 weeks disappear Edward: i am impatient, , ,my being moves faster then the damn thing can process the thing Edward: yes disappear speed the thing let space dissolve and come to me in flesh let me hold you feel your breath against me breath you Edward: are you there you write so slowly ...the emotion in me is volcanic overflowing ...you seem to be in silence space gone where are you Edward: and my mind is even faster way beyond the fingertips and real time Edward: as you can see i am thinking and feeling at a rate that is faster then the damn thing can process Dina: well we have to deal with it for some time Dina: im making a huge effort to control my self Dina: and maybe spend this time to be cautious, because when i finally see you caution will disappear Edward: let me kiss your face. .brush away your hair lay my lips against your temple feel you smell you...what the hell to control ...fuck that...Dina i want you love you want to hold you against me enter you Edward: fuck caution what is disappear you are so controlled so dulcet you are afraid of strength of unhingedness Edward: Dina come and Edward: Dina come and love me...open your self without restraint...without censure... Edward: Dina are you there Dina: am i not doing this??? can i do it more on cyberspace? Dina: you woke up impatient my dear Dina: really Dina: but i love it Edward it is morning...and brisque and the smell of winter is in the air...yes impatient...to hold you to press myself against you Dina: i would love to cross that airport lounge running and fall in your arms Dina: without delay or hesitation Dina: you know i had only one touristic appointment on my trip Edward: yes fall... and kiss you and feel the cold of your cheek...are you aging old so that you cannot fly to the impetus of love...to body to passion Dina: and had just cancelled it cause i wont have any time for this Edward: yes one touristic appointment on your trip...what have you canceled...that you won’t have any time for Dina: im not old, Edward, what are you talking about, i am a teenager, don't you see falling in love like crazy Dina: i ordered a ticket to discovery cove Dina: but now i think i wont be able to let you go for a whole morning Edward: Dina let me smell your breath...breathe into my face my love let me feel you smell you...teenager...give me twenty something...smart young strong...alive... Dina: i dont want to be away from you for a single moment Dina: you know I’ve been the last 6 years without one tiny moment of passion Dina: was numb, asleep till you woke me up Dina: and now i regret all this time lost Dina: life is senseless without passion, at least for me Dina: and something you dont know about my sexual energy Edward: Dina open yourself to me...where the hell is discovery cove...Dina let me feel your warmth against me feel your lips against my neck...ah the passion in the morning...yes i love to make love in the morning wake to you smell you touch you trace the form of you your being your breasts your face your cheek your cunt your legs your thights...Dina i want to devour you Dina: its been 6 years sine i last made love to someone Edward: sensless such a long word i could come in you in the time it takes to say it... Edward: you will not like to devour me, muscle is tough to chew Dina: you dont know what discovery cove is? well, lucky you live in a touristic destination Dina: so i can tell everybody that im going to orlando for vacation all by myself and its ok Edward: Dina you are alive with me six years...what have you done with your self...this body...this self...my dear it is the softness of skin the smell of woman the taste of you between your legs...you are wet like a teenager...you come without effort...how long does it take to receive these damn messages Dina: so everybody thinks i will be in disneyworld, but my playground will be radically different Dina: takes long to receive the messages, you bet Edward: not to mention the flaws in typing that make reading impossible Edward: my passion is faster then this damn thing Dina: mine too Edward: flaws mine or yours...who gives a damn Dina: you know, if we are not that excited its easier to type, but as you say, damn it Dina: life is not easy Dina: anyway Edward: what do you mean live is not easy Dina: do you think life is easy/ if it was, we wouldn’t be left waiting so long to meet each other Dina: or maybe that’s the fun of it Dina: now we are both diamonds and not merelly carbon Edward: fuck the fun of it Dina it is more than fun...it is the profundity of it... Edward: yes diamonds clear and color...perfect... Edward: the metaphor of diamonds is something tres familiar to me...yes diamonds Dina: but you know, we have to get some sleep Edward: where are you cannot your respond...sleep what are you talking about it is morning Dina: when we first met i spend the first 4 or 5 nights awake Edward: type Dina type...keep up hurry i am waiting Dina: yesterday i couldn’t eat a thing after we hang up so i went to bed without diner Dina: and i have to make an effort to keep healthy Dina: i have to sleep, to eat, to breath and make the best to wait a few days Dina: it doesnt mean we cant make love like crazy on the internet Edward: awake yes i have wakened the sleeping metapausal ...the aged fitfy year old...the attendant ...effort life takes care of itself...the sould the self energizes the being...how much does it take to exist...health do not eat crapily...everything in moderation ... Dina: oh my god, that’s not what i meant don’t worry Dina: i have a very good diet Edward: let us speed the pace of existence run in mind...fly...flee the static. Dina: created along years of improvement Dina: so Edward i know what you want Dina: another blow job like yesterday Dina: you know, thanks god we make love in english Dina: i don’t believe i would be aBLE TO DO THIS IN PORTUGUESE Dina: IM SHY Dina: sorry for the capitals, it was an accident Dina: my finger slipped over the keyboard Edward: i have looked at your body seen your legs your belly your brests. . the thinness of your neck your chin the lovely ness of your lips. . your mouth your brows. . Dina ... Edward: like it will slip now between your lips Dina:: and i will let you suck, bite my finger slowly, gently Dina: and i yearn to feel your hand around my breast, gently squezzing it while you kiss the nipples Edward: yes let me taste your finger. . your nail...let me touch it with my tounge...let me fuck you Dina put my cock with in you tip then the whole of it the long mass of it...let me kiss your nipples tongue then taste them...taste the form of them...would that you had milk and i could taste the sweetness of you Dina: long mass wow no milk darling, maybe milk and honey eretz zavat halav Edward: thou honey chambered self let me slip inside slowly feeling the wetness of you the tissues of you the flesh of you the muscles of you. . Dina: do you know i had a delirium once its written in my book and i was semadar with salomon in bed and this is how i feel now Dina: a perfect beauty forever, eternal Edward: what is semadar with salomon? I’ll be right back Dina: thanks to my lover Dina: my magic lover Dina: shir hashirim Dina: king salomon Dina: my king Dina: ops, sorry Dina: king david Dina: a mix, anyway Dina: the image goes Edward: yes i am back so you've slept with solomon and in that delirium he entered you and split you legs around him...arms embraced Dina: no dear, i didn’t sleep with him since i have you Dina: i was just immersed in the song of songs to match our ancestral love Dina: a love old like time and still fresh like the morning breeze Edward: you are so poetic and though professed bohemian and bar owner...shy almost maiden ... Dina: what a promiscuity of personalities, eh? Dina: im not bohemian, was, now i dont drink at all but would love to go out dancing with you Edward: blow job how crass...spit your lips and taste the tip of me...tongue the sticky beginning of ejaculation from me...put your lips around the tip of me and tongue me...wet me ...put me in your mouth and dance with me Edward: well, and let me Dina: Edward, wait a minute i have to talk on the phone Dina: ughh where was i Edward: i was in your mouth and you had wet your tongue around me and we were dancing Dina: wow Edward, how can we dance like this Edward: samba Dina: please don’t ejaculate in my mouth, only in the other... Dina: no, rock and roll Dina: im not that brazilian Edward: ok...i shall not come in your mouth...only in the other... Dina: but anyway let me suck you, first gently, while i smell your groin Dina: and then quicker, stronger Edward: does it please you to give head or is that something that is a cultural difficulty...i don't really give a damn...to me it is coitus the joining ...that is salient Dina: like a live lollipop, holy internet that allows to be like this Edward: Dina i love to suck your cunt taste it put my hands between it and spread the folds of it...wet...squishy like some molusk Dina: i want to give you pleasure, your pleasure is my pleasure so each moment is unique, but i want to feel you inside me now well at least i love it when you kiss my cunt Dina: oh Edward, again, we typed the same thing i can’t believe it Dina: Eedwardd Dina: if we stay longer on this i will have to buy a webcam Dina: and a microphone Edward: Dina let me spread you with my fingers...the throbbing mass of flesh let me slowly put my tongue on you move along your labia to your clitoris...let me tease it....then let me rise and with tip enter you slowly so slowly until the whole of me has plunged inside of you...Dina let me fuck you. Edward: yes it is weird how we think and speak and arrive at the same point simultaneously as though we occupied the same time... Dina: you know i always dreamed of this Dina: this simultaneity (is there such a word) Dina: not only the sex, but the mind, the speed the timelessness Dina: of our being one Dina: as one Dina: the courage to make our desires real Dina: and to not hesitate in front of fate Dina: the courage to follow our hearts, our souls our intuition Edward: Dina fuck me...we are one it is bazzar...yes simultaneity is a word...and the phenomenon is part of us...it is what this is about...the extraordinaryness of this...if love is not this it is nothing. Dina: i already feel this old crappy life i had way behind me Dina: and yes, dear i will fuck you as much as you want, as i want, let’s be insatiable Dina: kiss me Edward Dina: we are sharing a pure love, straight from the source and this is it Dina: out of conventional Edward: Dina if you were here i would take my hands upon your ass and spread them and plunge my face into your being and kiss you...let me kiss your lips part your mouth put my tongue into you tenderly nibble your lips wet you taste you feel your warmth your breath... Dina: direct connection without interference no noise to disturb us Edward: yes way to the right of the bell curve... Dina: what do you mean, i am here (laugh) Dina: here with you or there with you Dina: and everywhere Dina: like a beatles song Dina: everywhere with you, that’s what matters Edward: you have this ability to be at one with me...that is what love is or it is nothing Dina: now let me feel your nose against my neck Edward: to be so much with me that we type the same thing at the same time the same thought the same being Dina: my darling, darling Edward, i love you so much it hurts Dina: it hurts in my chest, in my cunt Dina: in my head Dina: i want you so much to be inside me Dina: without delay Edward: Dina i have been erect for hours so hard it hurts Dina: hope you are not erect now, where are you, careful or else you will be taken to jail, be discreet my darling Edward: let me come in you Dina: we have to play a little or else it is so painful to be apart from you Edward: thou art funny Dina: i want to walk with you like tantric lovers in india Dina:: embraced Dina: naked Dina: with only a blanket as protection Dina: not to harm the sacred task of lovemaking to feed the world soul Dina: for love is the holliest of religions Dina: the sweetest of devotions Dina: and that’s how i love you now Edward: let me run my hands over you over all your form your face your neck your shoulders your arms your hands (you have lovely hands) your breasts your nipples such lovely nipples your chest and ribs...your belly and hips your cunt and all its folds your thights and knees and legs and feet and toes let me love you Dina Dina: in this moment crying my pleasure acroos the universe Dina: yes energy broadcasting joy Dina: let’s rejoice then as angels sing Edward: let me kiss your cheek and lips and say goodbye love Dina: where are you going Edward: nowhere... Dina: i also need to work a bit Dina: if you are going nowhere why do you have to go Edward: so stay in my arms naked...and let me love you Edward: i do not...have to go anywhere...let me slip my hand between your legs inside of you Edward: Dina let us make love all afternoon Dina: wow love me till i drop Dina: for hours let us play in Aphrodite’s time Dina: im for it Dina: if i have to go for a while and do something i will warn you Edward: yeh...describe yourself your breasts your cunt your self your skin Dina: do you like surprises Dina:: i love my breasts Edward: yes do you have three breasts Dina: the other day i was in the gym making an evaluation session (is that clear?) Edward: no Edward: is that like an exam Dina: than the teacher congratulated me for the silicone Dina: so i told him, thank you, god made it Dina: but pay attention i was dressed Dina: with top and shorts Dina: not naked of course Dina: naked only for you Dina: my hands are not beautiful, but small and yearning to caress you Edward: and your nipples are they pink or dark...and the form round...pendular. . Dina: well, let me look Dina: pink nipples Edward: i saw the picture of your hands and thought them lovely and intelligent...artists hands Dina: more round than pendular Dina: most of the time i don’t wear a bra Dina: well, they are artist’s hands alright Dina: since im an artist, and so do you Dina: poets Dina: poets deeply in love with each other Dina: feeding the soul of the world Dina: now describe your cock Edward: and the nipples when they are errect are they thick and your vagina...what of your vagina...put your fingers in it and describe the smell... Dina: well, let me close the door first Edward: it is large and thick...clean and hooded pink and like a lighthouse in form 8 inches give or take and strong and veined Dina: the nipples are not thick, but delicate Dina: are you serious or kidding me Dina: i can’t describe the smell of my vagina, i tried and put my fingers inside it to discover im wet as hell Dina: but the taste is soursweet Dina: now im crazier than ever to feel you inside me, completely, groins joined together Edward: maybe 6 i don’t have a ruller but from its base to its tip it is my hands length from thumb to tip of forefinger Edward: touch your clit tell me what it is like Dina: well i don’t get inches, feet and all, its my difficulty with eng language, anyway i can picture you perfectly and desire you so much it aches Dina: its so wet and slippery that i can’t make the form of it Dina: but swollen Dina: normal size, i think Dina: but what well of pleasures Dina: hair is fair abundant not shaven Dina: i am as natural as can be Dina: not black hair, but light brown almost reddish Dina: i was born a red Dina: red hair i mean Edward: i would love to put my self in you so slowly tip and head and have you close around me...then slowly oh so slowly plunge myself within you so slowly and then shuddering slowly retreat and enter and enter and enter again... Edward: i have red in me also Dina: where Edward: in my beard and pubic hairs there are highlights of red... Dina: Edward, don’t stop please Dina: let me swallow your thick veined cock Edward: let me put my fingers in you and feel your wetness let me play inside of you in and out fingers penetrating searching the parts of you Dina: there is something i always wanted to know Dina: how do you feel with your cock Dina: its like a finger, a tongue or even more sensitive Dina: when coming together do you feel the vagina contractions Dina: describe it to me Edward: it is the tip that is the primary source of sensation...but i am either so evolved or old or something that it is the being in you and the pleasure that you receive that is the greatest pleasure ... Dina: what do you mean, you want to please me, i want to please you so i please me you please you kidding we share the pleasure and just from typing i get so aroused Dina: i could stop here and be in heaven Edward: yes when we are coming i feel the vagina contract around me...there are muscles within the vagina that can be exercised consciously...i dont know the names of them or the exercises ...but they have the ability to grab the penis...with a consciousness almost like a hand...and grabs the penis Dina: i know that Dina: you know, no one goes 6 years without sex and doesn’t learn a few things Edward: it pleases me to be inside of you to enter you to drive you to orgasm to speak "oh god" as you come...it pleases me to touch you to touch your breasts to hold your cunt...your ass to have your body move under me to feel the bones in your pelvis your knees your feet Dina: it pleases me to be around you sucking you endlessly with non stop contractions all around you Edward: it pleases me to spread you to open you to smell you like a flower to taste you like a fruit...to come with you to feel the sweat of your body the wet of your body the muscle of your body to be emerged in your flesh your hair your lips ...the feminine principle Edward: to be between your legs to be joined with you cunt and cock...to kiss you to have your tongue in me Dina: it pleases me to touch your butt as you come inside me, to scratch you back softly with short nails to suck your neck to kiss you for hours breathing the same breath, talking and laughing while we kiss with the tongues togeteher intertwined have you tried it Dina: non stop kising Dina: kissing Dina: im so excited now so swollen what shall i do now in open day with the sun coming through my window Edward: yes i love to kiss...it is so sweet for hours...to lay against each others lips and breathe each other’s breath Dina: is there something that i love that you don’t love? Dina: this sounds like science fiction yet i know its true Dina: its quantum love 2 quanta of the same electron Edward: what a lovely image...are you naked is your skirt above your knees...does the wet of your vagina begin to drip along your thigh...does the sun cast reflection on the wet Dina: while a quanta feels and act the twin in the other side of the world does the same Dina: oh, now i could easily make this picture true, but im not undressed and don’t risk to be Edward: it is apparent that we are sharing a same consciousness...there is an incredible simultaneity between us Dina: if I go to the bathroom than i can’t type Dina: oh dillema and the liquid yes, begins to drip and pour like a light fountain full of tricks and surprises and hollographic forms dancing in a lake Edward: im still hard awake awaiting...how lovely the image...thy inner thigh awake wet...let me slip my hand along you along the wet of you and slip between thy wetted folds Dina: so you can feel my swollen labia and play with the tip of my clitoris, gently at first and then stronger, make me ache and yell for your thick cock please Edward come inside me and stay there let now stop time like we did before, tied together my swollen labia pressing your cock and the vagina, from top to basis as you fill me completely no empty spaces Dina: only blood pulsating from cunt to head through heart and soul Dina: this fucking of ours getting stronger at every minute Edward: i love you Dina and come in you fill you hold you feel your neck and hair in embrace kiss your neck and cheek hold you in me...i love you Dina... Dina: until we manage to dissolve into each other Edward: fuck me Dina i love you fuck me fuck me fuck me hold me let me fill you with my cock...oh veined cock would that i could go where thoust travels Dina: and finally the blue green butterfly in my neck gets alive with you breath and flies towards you to land on the tip of you nose caressing you Edward: my cock is thick held in embrace by your swollen self your vagina grabbing me in moment time suspended god consciousness heros gamos. Edward: is that goodbye Dina: no but we could halt fucking a bit... a brief moment... Dina: and the moment i say that i perceive its not trying, im just lying to you, wanting to cheat myself cause i can and want to go on Dina: to go on loving you like this endlessly its that sometimes the words are no more than a pale shadow of my feelings, my sensations, but i still can feel you thick cock inside me you are hard still Dina: maybe its a phantom of moral background saying its not right or legal to love so much to desire so much to enjoy so much Edward: will be back n a short moment wait for me darling Edward Edward: but we have done it are doing it...who gives a fuck...Dina i am a writer i write what has not been written yet...someone has to cross to the otherside of consciousness...to speak of what is not imagined...how many beings are at this moment so intimately entwined Dina: I’ve been to the bathroom and my panties are so wet Edward: better of with them Edward: it is poetry that allows words to transcend reality to transport it...to engage it... Edward: i am so glad your panties are so wet...i want to touch your cunt feel its wetness touch the soft folds of its inside... Dina: i feel the same we are both writers and i want to go further to test limits to check where can we go with this speaking of written word a mere hint of what is really going on Dina: you know a few days before i met you i bought joyce's ulisses and finally decided to face it, and was planning to star by the end, the endless 100 pages yes, of sexual pleasure yes Dina: and then i met you and don’t have time for joyce or norah Dina: only living my real feast and writing our own love story Dina: cyber conscious modern daring love story juicy fluid Edward: love encountered electrically in mind made wet and hard and warm in pleasures thought Dina: sometimes i stop and wonder how could we be so wise to find each other and open those doors Edward: just synchronistic luck the universe helping itself find itself Dina: and you can see me smiling alone in the street like a crazy woman mumbling to herself or singing her joy Dina: Dina in love Dina: one woman (and a man) show worth watching no doubt Edward: at least from its participants...who gives a fuck Dina: a broadway show with sparkling lights and off off broadway aesthetics and feelings Edward: my dear this is theater of the mind...poetry of the soul...magic... Edward: sometimes you seem so innocent Dina: yes is there something more delightful Dina: why do you say that Edward: yes having you in bed with me Dina: why innocent (though i am sometimes, almost naive) Dina: i can’t see evil Dina: a reichian patient without armours Edward: i was not sure of the spelling of the word naive and erased it...how ironic...no who gives a fuck means i do not care how it is perceived by the world...it is the doing that is the living not the watching... Edward: i did not understand the last Dina: i was talking about wilhelm reich the bioenergetic psychologist talking about body armours, maybe that’s not the term in english cause i learned reich in portuguese couraça like the medieval warrior outfit, understand Dina: means my body in your arms is completely open, defenseless Dina: relaxed and enjoyable and enjoying Edward: there is a process called rolphing that is a message therapy designed to break down the body armour...but you and i have transcended that and live in nakedness before each other in innocent trust and vulnerability Dina: without fear Dina: yes i know about rolphing but never experienced Dina: but all the pleasure i feel in everything is tremendously enhanced Dina:: its so self evident that a had my regular shiatsu session this morning and the therapist doubled my time Edward: what is the point...we arrive at the same place as we arrive...it is being open that consciousness is made manifest...that things as they are can be perceived without projection Dina without charging extra Edward: you give me great delight Dina...you please me. . Dina: that’s what i mean about doubtless confidence that the chemistry between us will be as strong as our cyber desire when we meet or stronger Dina: now that i know your cock better (laughing) Edward: and your dripping cunt Dina: you know we are lucky to live so far from each other or else we wouldn’t have the opportunity to exercise such delightful daring absurdities Edward: no we could actually do them Dina: if you happen to be my neighbor we would be in bed in less than a day and no time to practice fantasies Edward: if you happened to be my love we could share the same bed Dina: we will actually do them but with a heightened sense of intimacy we conquered Dina: i am your love though and will share your bed soon for good Dina: and it is so exciting to be typing love like this endlessly im glad we both have all our time to share of course just a tiny smaller than small micro fraction of the pleasure we will soon feel in each others arms Edward: keep thy troth my love and i will speak with you soon Dina: let me remind you that i love you deeply oh so deeply Edward: moi aussi cher Dina: are you leaving, i understand? Edward: tu as raison Dina: ok, then Dina: goodbye dear Dina: have a nice day Dina: hope the waking was nice and smooth (laughing) Edward: let me kiss thee one more time and touch thee and carry thee with me on my hand and lips and mind. love Edward Dina: Edward if you have to leave i will push you out of the door...

(same day, a few minutes later)

Dina: hei Edward i won’t ask if you are obviously back Edward: yes i am here self evidently Dina: where did you go Edward: i could not leave you...god i yearn for you cheri Dina: did you read my emails Edward: i did nothing today but talking to you Edward: where did i go where is there to go...i checked some things decided to come here and make love with you yes i read your e mail...yes extraordinary...we speak from the same mind...the universe seems to support us...curious Edward: talk my dear how much more than talk we do...i have to find a place to mate with you Edward: are you so slow in reading that i must wait an eternity Edward: what ever are you doing...have you left...where are you Dina: calm down dear i had to stand up Dina: and close the curtains cause the sun is interfering with my screen Dina: at 5:30 the sun is inclined and curtains don’t do much Edward: ah let’s slow to a walk and damp the passion Dina:: and its hot Dina: let’s go for a stroll by the sea of our deepest feelings Edward: ok...i am there...speak to me Edward: speak faster or i shall drown Edward: it is like slow motion with this Dina: why should i speak, my dear im listening Dina: to these music coming through your lips Dina: to these love vows Edward: ok than hear listen to me whisper thy name to dance to fugue Dina: that flow nonstop Edward: yes to vows to love to passion pray i speak...oh hurry to me in words or thought or body politic Edward: yes that flow of mind the speed of light do speak and think and love and where art thou in dream in metaphysical parlence speaking silence Dina: ok let me rush run follow me through this voluptuous river of flowing poetry Edward: i wait for word for voice. . for sound for self of thee Dina: i write flow you write flow oh god im laughing already Edward: yes let us speak of poetry of love most swift made fast on time of cyber web this slow plodding camel Edward: did you know the path of venus throught the sky over a three year period is a pentagram Dina: do you really mean slow its amazing how we can talk being so far from each other Edward: i wait and wait and wait thou translates in thy fevered pitch like snow melting in winter. Dina: well, you should hire a better typist then cause my fingers are rushing in a love feeling marathon of self Dina: i didn’t know about the pentagram, no Edward: shit no...i could call you on the phone and be at fast but written words do penetrate the soul and mind and make body love Dina: i know venus is in the morning sky for a while and then evening sky and then missing for a while though i will never be missing from your life Edward: there is a mystery called the Da Vinci code interesting for its historical content... Dina: did you like this book? i didn’t read it Edward: yes missing be present my love...full in soul in body wet and ripe let me taste of you at evening time Dina: im afraid i will not understand you on the phone so well Edward: like what is there to like there were interesting content of christ and paganism and heros gamos Dina: as i do in writing, not in person no i will understand you perfectly every tiny thought of yours between the lines and body language, hands, head, touch, kiss, no problem Edward: yes i have no doubt Edward: speak to me confess thy self Edward:: ta da ta dum this space between is unbearable Dina: well about da vinci code please darling not so fast if its interesting i will read it its an editorial success Edward: yes yes type away dear Dina Dina: i have nothing to confess, since you read inside me and i have no sin Dina: but to love so completely and this is not a sin but a blessing Edward: yes it is confess thy thoughts to speak from self from soul uncensored being honesty most honest Edward: would that i could type faster lest one feeling be lost left in some obscure corner of delay Dina: honest and sharing and a daring my love Dina: if you are so hasty or late speak thy feeling quickly im listening Edward: yes i know you are it is just that i am impatient with this machine... Dina: but the machine does its best as we do Edward: it is you i wait to hear speak my own thoughts and mind i already know Dina: we shall not be impatient since we travelled far in a few steps Edward: yes pale substitute to your presence Dina: you know your own mind but i don’t just guess Edward: yes but days have we known each other Edward: our minds take not to guess what you think i think like mirror you are to me Dina: we went so fast from estrageness to intimacy Dina: estrangeness Edward: yes i read thy words and knew thee flew with thee on sight on hearing self Dina: big strange words Edward: estrangedness...selves not yet discovered Edward: implies a previous connection Dina: yeah and you exploring me, fearing me remember Edward: fearing the body to body encounter Dina: it was not you i feared it was me Dina: and now to my likeness all gone we are opening ourselves with no restraints Dina: or else already opened allowing each other to read each others souls Edward when i love my dear i love completely cleverly with great art and poetry...but i cannot pretend it...and so want to give it to you Edward: an open book of feelings, shared experiences Dina: huummm, i once knew someone like this Dina: laugh Dina: i am nothing but transparent when you meet me in the eye you will be certain Edward: i could read your soul from the begining. . it is something i do perception ...but you opened your self in all its portugese experience...spread your legs and let me enter you Edward: i have no doubt Dina your innocence is self evident... Dina: and only love completely so before you all the human animals approaching me were frightened Dina: and fleeing me in haste Dina: like someone who saw a phantom Dina: now again this innocence thing you have to explain to me about this Edward: really...their eyes were shut and blinded by there self projections their lack of consciousness Edward: innocence and contrived...genuine le vrai pierre Dina:: not synthetic Dina: yes, dear, don’t you know, consciousness is a matter of work, hard work and going through owbed pain Dina: and then discovering things to face, and more monsters to face until you fnally find the pearl at the bottom of the sea and when you bring it along you may find your enchanted prince Dina: you Edward: yes i know of pain to burn away the ego self of ignorance seered by the fire of god Edward: yes i...je suis ici...i am here by grace. . Dina: and open consciousness is frightenning for those who don’t have it, ops, did i spell wrong no time for the dictionary Edward: who gives a damn your meaning plain to see Dina: what was i going to say a minute ago mygod Edward: yes what Dina: ah, yes and a sign of open consciousness is this will to be simple, ascetic, and dedicated to a passion, whatever it is Dina: love, poetry, beauty Dina: not marketing Dina: or a consumer Edward: oh...that is a sign...to be able to love to be able to open the self in love to everyman...that is conciousness Edward: it is only the love of people that we attain grace Dina: and i still remeber your words on our first days to be good and gentle, only make good deeds that impressed me at first sight Edward: the ability to love is costly earned Dina: yeah, but worth winning Edward: yes most assuredly... Dina: worth working for, see us, for instance how high our level of joy Dina: all sorrow forgotten Edward: yes and Dina: only enjoying the moment Dina: despite its limitations Edward: i would not have spoken such to you if you could not perceive Edward: what limitations Dina: and finding a way to know and open and love and enjoy ourselves with the tools at hand Edward: you are the tool at hand... Dina: keyboard limitations Dina: and you are the other hammer and nail Dina: or screwwdrive and nuts Edward: yes i know...time to slow and speak in nakedness Edward: tool means device manner...means Dina: well lets talk about warmer tools that fit together as strongly as the mechanical ones Dina: or much more stronger Edward: i do not speak of tools at all but of self and selves Edward: perfect tools created from life itself Edward: Dina you are a perfect tool for me to express myself to make myself whole Dina: im kidding you teasing you so take your live tool and...screww me Edward: you are a canvas upon which for me to paint myself my thought and soul Dina: ah much more beautiful to paint than to assemble Dina: i wish i were a blank mind like a virgin canvas you could create on Edward: ah the shakespearean with pleasure my dear i take my tool and mark the depths of your interior...to scribe myself...on your inside to mark myself as having been there Dina: but no need of that since we are made from the same stuff more a mirror than a canvas Edward: to paint and sculpt my self in image loving most dearly and then the kiss Dina: yes you can sign your mark on me, your work of art Edward: yes mirror kissing touching leaving traces of the self Dina: so my right eye looks into your right eye as my hand touches your chest or your mine a sign of love in mute language Edward: and what the blue butterfly that perched upon your neck Dina:ahhh, it was meant to be a surprise but then i couldn’t help it Edward: so you are tatooed Dina: wait a minute i will take some water im thirsty Edward: yes wait the hour grows from minute to minute while you quench thy thirst...would that i could drink from your mouth Dina: yes tattooed although tiny do you like it Edward: the cool sweet taste of your spit...the wetness of your mouth...come Dina let me fuck you Edward: let me quench my thirst with your sweet fluids Edward: what is not to like it is your breasts that please me more your cunt your soul the nape of your neck what is a tatoo a dim complement to your beauty Dina: an almost virgin untouched tatoo discreet beneath the hair Edward: what dance this is of mind Dina: well let’s keep somethig for dessert Dina: after this absurdly abundant feast Edward: when i was a boy i had the remarkable ability to catch butterflies in such a way that no powder left upon my fingers lay... Dina: Edward, wait a tiny moment be right back Dina: so you can catch mine and not harm with teeths but licking sweetly Edward: if licking pleases you then lick i shall and what of kisses Dina: a blue butterfly symbolizes change Dina: and my tattoos are in magic places, chakras and all Edward: kisses are even better the wetness contained Edward: the sweet taste mixing Edward: and what is the nature of the change...the only constant is change...what ergo the only constant is a blue butterfly Dina: yeah and we are changing every moment going deeper and deepre Dina: and the deeper we drive the more treasures we find Dina: we dive i mean Edward: tattoes the plural thouest spoke and where shall i find these kinds to simple pleasures mind...on breast on cheast on cunt on knee where are the places of thy branding of thy directional text Dina: oh my god there goes one more mystery Dina: a symbol of sacred marriage i myself created Dina: on the 3rd cjakra on the back Dina: and the newest one an ourobouros at this point where women treat their sexual traits, on the inner right ankle Dina: and that’s all and will be all Dina: i am content with symbols Dina: now the body sings through energy and movement, not symbols Dina: but real life real love made true Dina: and concrete Edward: ourobouros...i do not have a dictionary and where do women treat their sexual traits... Edward: yes i too am awake my being vibrating to your existence Dina: ourobourus is an ancestral egyptian symbol the snake eating its tail a symbol of continuity of life sharing life sharing life and shedding sorrows like the snake’s skin Dina: and my snake gets very aroused as we speak, yeaterday she was really restless and i couldn’t tell you Dina: ferocious Dina: and sweet, no venom Edward: really...would that i were there and could lay my staff before it and like moses lay pharoes snake harmless... Edward: and is it on your labia this symbol of phoenix Dina: oh this image is good, really, in portuguese i would say 1x0 advantage for you in this score Dina: no, dear, its in the ankle, i told you Edward: what do you mean you couldn’t tell me...would that i have been aroused so much more Dina: the labia are untouched but by your staff Edward: ah i look forward to that Dina: i didn’t want to tell cause i wanted to see your looks when you see it Dina: now i can figure out our mutual looks of awe at each others sight Edward: my son tatooed upon his chest a star of david as big as your hand...with his love’s name written across it...on the back of his arm a number of chinese symbols...what madness Dina: now this is dangerous you know Edward: let me tatoo the inside of you Dina: every day we hear from people disguising previous lovers names with other forms Dina: but i will surelly let you tatoo me Dina: wherever you feel like Dina: and i would tatoo your name in my heart and soul with god’s fire Dina: one impossible to erase Dina: wow inspiration came through Edward: it is something i have the ability to do...there is a technique i have acquired that is like a laser and penetrates the self and burns away bullshit Dina: oh Edward, pity you can’t hear me laugh loudly alone in front of a creen like a crazy woman Edward: it parts the curtains of delusion and reveals the self Edward: you are very spirited Edward: spiritual Edward: full of wonders not bullshit Edward: yes pity i cannot hear you laugh loudly...alone in front of a screen like a crazy woman Dina: i will let you put your laser on me without fear cause you will not cause nme pain Dina: thank you for correcting me, my fingers are rebellious today Edward: i already have and you are clean there is no trace of artifice in you or deceit Dina: thank you for understanding me even if with half words Dina: and half thoughts Dina: thank you for loving me and letting me love you Edward: i can hear you think Dina...by your words and between your words...i can see you...you make your self visible Dina: and letting me hear you and share with you and exchange poetry, love feelings, wise words Dina: and daring ones too Edward: yes daring ones too...thank you for letting me fuck you and make love to you and kiss you Edward: it so exciting to meet someone so witty and inteligent and creative and sexy and strong and gentle and loving Edward: so yes, come fuck me dear Dina: there we go again back to bed Dina: and i lay in bed and open up for you Edward: im going to have to leave shortly so lay thy self upon thy bed and lift thy skirt and part thy legs and let me lay upon you and fuck you...enter you and make love to you Edward: i spread the worldly spicy parfums of voracious sex over my body Dina: odd you wrote these words as i was writing them Dina: lay in bed together again typing the same Dina: in a short time there will be not such a difference if we are on line or not cause i carry you with me when i go out feel you inside me when i sleep dream with you and fuck you every night before falling asleep in the tip of my fingers Edward: i come in you and kiss you Dina: again typing the same Dina: we sound like foolish friends suddenly saying the same words in unison and laughing Edward: let me kiss you and whisper in your ear as you fuck me before you fall asleep...the tips of your fingers would that i could be them Edward: and i surelly loved to have you typing on early morning Dina: just to make sure we travelled the same paths despite the time split Dina: you are them fingers while your staff is miles away Dina: sauf for the parfum of you Edward: Dina i hunger for the warmth of you the form of you Edward: that smooth hair of yours stroking my face Edward: i yearn to smell you now Dina: wow it will be awesome sense of smell after so much touching Dina: i yearn to fuck you now Edward: i yearn to be in you to fuck you Dina: touching the keyboard as if i were touching your bare skin so come, dear, im ready for you all wet and swollen to press you and suck you inside of me Dina: weeelll, lazy are you coming or not Edward: let me fuck you fuck you fill you with me part you enter you to your cervix...let me touch your womb Edward: yes fuck you fuck you come in you touch your self Dina make your self come...be me Dina: wow wish i could feel that but i feel you for sure along the way cervix is not sensitive how do you feel when you touch my cervix with the tip of your cock Dina: like i am in the center of you Dina: but the rest of the channel is so sensitive and alive and hungry Dina: wow, do you really feel that or is a figure of speech Edward: come eat me devour me Edward: to be so deep within you to the end of you to the depth of you is the center of you Dina: yes dear let me bite your lips gently Edward: and come all over your womb Dina: suck your tongue as my cunt sucks your cock Dina: and delight in your fluids (i would say juicy cuices but you wont let me) Dina: juicy cuices Dina: juicy cjuices, fuck Dina: impossible Dina: keyboard language flaws proof Edward: let me hold you your ass your legs your belly your breasts wet with both of us Dina: you will need a thousand hands to satisfy my hunger of you Edward: that is what lips are for and tongue and cock Dina: and only one staff yours will be enough such a perfect device Dina: there it goes i thought cock and wrote staff when you were typing it Edward: such a perfect cunt such a perfect mind Dina: such a perfect match Edward: so fuck me tonight in sleep... Dina: ok, let me feel you as you feel me and we can check tomorrow Dina: pity is i will fuck you while you are sitting with someone else in a restaurant having dinner Dina: timezone i mean Edward: Dina would that i could visualize you and come... Dina: so be discreet my dear behind the table Dina: weeelll, than you can hang me in your wall like an erotic calendar Dina: and check your date Edward: it is at home i will seek to invision you your nakedness your sex your breast your nipple Dina: so i beg you to think of me while you are in bed Dina: so you can touch, feel dream, openly Edward: but the pictures do not reveal your nakedness...they are in a gym working out Dina: oh we talked about it before, would you like me to ask my sister in law to come and Edward: i try to think of you on the ball with arms behind your head and breasts revealed...but Dina: laugh out loud Dina: photograph me while i touch myself thinking of you Edward: um anything with skirt up Edward: this is killing me Dina: ok i promise to meet you with skirt on underwear Dina: no underwear Edward: i know...so goodnight? Dina: lets be vitorian for a while so you can fuck me with your mind while im overdressed from hair to toe Dina: yes, dear, i think i will have to let you go mom is calling lost her keys inside the house while i lost my sanity inside of you Edward: yes ok touch yourself tonight as though it were me for i wish it were Dina: yes yes yes Dina: dearest Edward: talk to you tomorrow embrace you with the warmest kisses

Wednesday Dec 01

Dec 01 Dina nuts

Mon cher Edward, your lady here is definitely going nuts. Can you believe i was changing my shirt this morning, in the gym's dressing room among some 30 women or so, and i started to look at my breasts in the mirror mentally describing them to you. I came to our night date as promised. I layed down in bed naked at 9 (6), half reclined on my pillows, and started to touch myself trying to feel you here with me. But then, to my surprise, something very different happened. You were here alright, not with me in bed, though, but sitting in front of me, looking at me while i kept exploring my depths. I entered my finger into my cunt to feel the form, the wetness, only to discover something very alive there, an animal with a sucking mouth almost like a fish swallowing my finger like air. Then i ran the middle right finger through my labia to touch that little rosy button on the upper left side, my switch for clitoral pleasure and started to stroke it very gently, all the time looking at you with my eyes wide open - and i can see your cock rising - looking into your eyes while you kept looking at me enjoying my act and sharing my pleasure. We stayed there for a long time, my finger moving from clitoris to cunt (only to feel that sucking mouth) and than back, then rubbing more strongly and even more strongly until i got to the verge of orgasm and cried for you. At this moment you came over me and entered me with your hard cock and we swayed together, strongly tied to each other, your arms on my butt, my arms around your back swaying and panting until we came together in one and only cry, wailing loudly, filling the universe with our shots of joy, our love, our mistery shared to yet unknown depths. Say no more, Edward, je t'aime/ Dina

Dina: hi Edward: hello Dina...i am erect already... Edward: throbbing your e mail was exquisite Dina: a good way to start Dina: i thought about you reading this email in a public scenery Edward: yes...i began to flush ...it was as though i was suddenly naked...your words were prescient Dina: a big test uh Edward: yeh...something to think of tonight Dina: we (me) are getting crazier and crazier Dina: but its thrilling anyway Dina: and true love is behind it all Dina: so its worth it in all levels Edward: Dina your love is electric sensient...fecund. . Dina: i read something about tantra today, that the tantra is not about sex, but about expanding the limits and raising consciousness Dina: i think it fits Edward: yes it is about consciousness Dina: and sex only one of the paths we can try, but a powerful one Dina: so how did you sleep last night Edward: i will not sleep well...ever Dina: my email may sound like a piece of trendy dirty literature but its all true Dina: and after that i could sleep for a while, say, 4 or 5 hours Edward: it was lovely...suckingly so...lovely...your discription of your vagina is evoking in mean a yearning that is tantamount to madness Edward: evokative...hardly dirty...profoundly personal and beautiful Dina: today is the first of december and december is our month Dina: im making a personal effort to breathe deeply every day and go for one more "normal" journey Dina: but in fact im counting the days with impatience and walking down the streets with your energy inside me wherever i go Edward: i think the e mail will allow me to conger you up and be inside of you in mind at will...it is so arousing...achingly so Edward: i will have to print it and put it by my pillow so i can breath it Dina: what does conger mean its not in the dictionary Dina: i was studying florida road maps this morning Edward: it is a kind of magic...it is what shamans do...it is to imagine [maybe its spelled wrong] Dina: to make plans for my arrival which will be 8:40 am 28 dec tampa Dina: ok, i know now in portuguese conjurar Dina: are you a shaman too Edward: .conjure Dina: silly me of course you are Edward: no merely a being...with certain abilities of mind and imagination Dina: where else would i tie my donkey (portuguese expression poorly translated Dina: maybe you say that because you don’t know a broad definition for shaman Dina: like a friend of mine used to say, a shaman herself , my former teacher, to be a shaman is awesome Dina: you have the ability to travel between worlds Dina: to retrieve lost souls Dina: to heal, to operate sheer magic Dina: the only problem is you have to die first Dina: well, from what i know we both died many deaths Edward: kind of a psychiatric retreival process...yes i have died first long time ago 1966 Dina: started already typing the same thing at the same time Edward: so curious... Dina: but we are reborn stronger, according to nietzche, no? Dina: what does(nt) kill you makes you stronger Dina: now describe to me your first death in 66 Edward: i was faust isolated in hell, a scientist having lived my life ala darwin...survival of the fittest...nitchiesque...self...taking no love...no giving...i was damned...eternally...3 in the morning the galery district in LA...i had just got back from Paris...you have to understand that I was Faust...that I was out of time acting out a morality play of soul...like abraham Edward:taking isaac to sacrifice him to god...madness...Faust is damned because he is about ego about knowing about being greater than god...that he cannot surrender to god...he cannot have faith an intellectual absurdity...but i know all this and am prepared to act...to surrender ego...ego exists for the preservation of body...to surrender ego meant to surrender body... Dina: surrender for me is a difficult concept Dina: i could never truly "surrender" to my spiritual experiences, always an alert red sign buzzing in a corner of my conscious mind Dina: but i think i could surrender completely when i met you and this was new Edward: the device was a speeding car...did i have the faith to make this leap of faith...and in surrendering self dove under the car and in doing so attained god head ...it was the end of personal existence...return to god return to light...consciousness...i woke on the street with police around me...i thought i was dead...the story goes on but that was the begining of spiritual awakedness Dina: although i still get afraid sometimes for tiny moments Dina: at what price Dina: no, i never had a near death experience or something like it all my deaths were psychic, spiritual Dina: funny is i have a poem somewhere about isaac about abraham offering isaac for sacrifice Dina: im sure i wrote in english Dina: i hope this impulse for death is long gone now Edward: i was twenty two a scientist a rationalist...all of this was intellectual nonsense...this spiritual stuff...that is why ultimately the journey took me to israel...to the wilderness...to the center of the storm...and how grateful i was to hear the sound of silence... Edward: you need only look at the picture of ian to see the love of life...i have engendered Edward: it is love the acts of love the deeds of love that have been my persuit for 38 years...nihilism ala neitche is nonsense...he died in bed reconciled with christ confessing himself.. Dina: when and where were you in israel at that time Dina: (i agree nihilism is senseless life is so powerful and wonderfully full of surprises) Edward: i was in the negev desert...in the development town of arad...just above the dead sea ...1970 Edward: and to see that is to be healthy, otherwise a chemical imbalance Dina: that's why im asking Edward: exactly why Dina: i was in sde boker in 1970 Dina: why didn’t we meet then Edward: perhaps we did in passing Edward: maybe it was 71 yes it was july 71 that i entered a one year graduate program Dina: so after israel what Dina: hei Edward you are slow today Dina: what happened Edward: in 1970 i was studying in hawaii with a shaman...woman learning group encounter and the nature of emotionalism...consciousness and the "scientific psychiatric" nature of some of the phenomenon i had experienced...but a religious experience is rare in LSD...it is muchly recorded in eastern writings...the phenomenon of satori... Dina: i didn’t get you were you on acid Edward: after israel i came back to the united states and engaged in selling wholesale rubies, and sapphires from some of my esl thai-chinese students-at the end of that year i flew back to israel 1973 Edward: yes it was chemically pure pharmaceutical acid...it was the first time i had tried it...i had spent 4 years at university...on fausts quest for knowledge. . Dina: i have never tried a drug to take me out of reality completely Dina: although sometimes i wished, never had the courage or opportunity Dina: my strong shamanic experiences were in new mexico and Colorado only 10 years ago Dina: no drugs Edward: what do any of us know of what reality it...we are given societal...cultural realities...but there is a fundamental reality...one that is behind the conditioning... Edward: yes i read castaneda...i decided if i was going to pursue mysticism it would be judaic... Dina: in colorado it was awesome sharing my mind with a shaman for 2 whole months Dina: i was almost destroyed but survived and made my turn Dina: it was the first and only time i shared a mind with someone until now Edward: Dina my time is up here...i will find another computer and talk to you in a while...love Edward

Dec 01 Dina missing you just to say im missing you in these few minutes while you change computers... Love you Edward

Dina: so where did you lose me Edward: so where did i loose you Dina: ok, teacher you were talking about judaic misticism while i was typing about shamanic mind sharing Edward: somewhere between your shaman and me Dina: my grand father was religious and used to go to the synagogue every friday Dina: and i went with him and loved it Edward: when one engages in the mystic one is best to surround oneself in the symbols of his identity...for in the path to dissolution one can see the eternal symbols mapping the ancient way Edward: going to the synagogue has nothing to do with mysticism... Dina: loved the songs, the joy Dina: no but as a child, is an opening Edward: it has to do with living an essentially righteous life on that is in balance....it is a consistent return to center Dina: then i passed part of my life enjoying jewish rituals Dina: when he died, everything collapsed Dina: the view in my family of judaic tradicional history is ridiculous Dina: if you could listen to my mother and aunt talking about jewish history you would laugh Dina: excatly the opposite of what it is Dina: axactly Dina: exactly Dina: but when it comes to mysticism i was more involved with other sources Dina: eastern, shamanic Edward: to seek god involves the shedding of everything mysticism is no joke it is a place from which the self does not return as it was ...mysticism has nothing to do with going to synagogue...it has more to do with going off into the dessert in a cave... Dina: since the study of cabala is reserved for men (laugh) Edward: we opt for easter mysticism because judaic mysticism is little known or studied...the hassids try at it and the cabalists...but i have followed my own path... Edward: the path to god is no game...it is a fearful thing ... Dina: i agree with you. well, jesus did (stay in the desert) Dina: god talk is one of my favorites Dina: but the only fearful god for me is the one in jewish bible, judging and punishing Edward: for a jew in contemporary society to speak of god or mysticism or anything that is out of the norm is to be insane... Dina: the personal god is made of love, not fear, for love is the opposite of fear Dina: well, those are marketing jews, synagogue jews, without any connection with their soul Dina: we have a very interesting rabbi here in rio Dina: very contemporary and wise, though young, an author Edward: if you look at the indian hindu gods the god head is surrounded by diamonds...they are all creations of the mind ...you know the tibetan book of the dead and all that...but the judaic...is AWE that is the phenomenon of god...that which blows away all your little mind sets and leaves you naked on the edge of existence...we are here by choice ... Edward: why do you think people are so afraid of dying ...stand in balance all things in moderation...except love cheri Dina: and he has bean forming a community and teaching valuable jewish wisdom stories, so maybe a community like that can change something, but anyway, im not interested now because i don’t want anything established or organized Dina: well, im not afraid of god, don’t feel small in front of god, and we are all naked anyway Dina: i mean it, seriously Edward: live your life spiritually do good deeds love ...it is the good you do that you bring before god...nothing else...to live a selfish selfconsuming existence is meaningless...do not come to the end of it having done nothing but acquire...it is the giving and loving that is the meaning...the meaning of life is good deeds Dina: if there is enough consciousness and openness i can get into you and see you really naked, not merely skin Dina: all, feels good to be good. i am. and act according to my consciousness in a daily basis Edward: that is what we are doing we are completely fearlessly naked before each other...that is why so often we type the same thing have the same thought Dina: including everyone i meet from friends to clerks always with a smile Dina: and despite anything i keep my faith on human race, humans are a favorite Edward: i always seek the self the soul of others...to understand rather than be understood...to love rather than be loved Dina: so being naked with you is such an awesome experience Dina: well Edward, its thrilling to be loved you know Edward: when i held my sons in my hands ...how great was life how lovely man...what a glorious thing i had brought into the world Dina: i love, will love you and read you and understand you always and let you feel is so valuable as the other way round Edward: yes it is waking consciousness it is to be alive witnessed by another held in the mind of another affirmation of existence Dina: can you wait a moment? be back in a minute Dina: i don’t know about children Dina: but i believe its really important i feel like a flaw in my life experience i didn’t have any Edward: there is no resistence between us...that is what i meant about shared light... Dina: but then i have to direct my search and sensivity to something else, so im intense in love Edward: women are connected biologically with god...with existence they do not have to think if they exist...men are creatures of mind...must hunt and penetrate to find themselves... Dina: but never experienced something like i do with you Dina: such an openness and freedom Edward: Dina your consciousness is worth sending on in the future of man you are a good soul...a strong and powerful sentient being...you are loving...you are a light Dina: we are god, dear. all of us. me and you and together even stronger Edward: yes isn’t nakedness grand...let me fuck you Dina fill you merge with you light us Dina: come dear Dina: let’s be tantric today Dina: reflexive Dina: quiet Dina: no rush Dina: let’s make light Dina: im sorry i can’t generate babies anymore Edward: as to being god...what israel lectured was that god is the potter and we are the pot and the pot can never be the potter...or we are a drop of light consciousness ultimately to return to it all Dina: or i would certainly materialize a light being with you Edward:: let me look into your womb and see what i can see Dina: you smiling back at me Edward: i kiss your lips... Dina: but before... dear, let me ask you Dina: israel teachings, are they truth? Edward: no this was a graduate course from the university of jerusalem on judaism and jewish mysticism Dina: we are a drop of light but don’t have anywhere to return, we never left there, can’t you feel it when we are together Edward: that is what tantric love is to stand in consciousness with the other in the center of the universe Dina: its because when we are apart, or involved with the mundane our consciousness gets numb Edward: yes i feel so pointless trudging around from place to place...it is only nature that brings me to consciousness the ocean ...the sunset...the eagle... Dina: but if you are in love, sharing pure consciousness, inside each other in many ways, then you can discover we never left the light, its good to love as to be loved Edward: life...my children...but when i connect with a woman when i connect with you i feel whole alive energized...conscious...it would be better if we did this in person... Dina: but we will, soon Edward: yes we never do leave the light we only think we do and that is what evil is action that is away from the light and when one wakens to realize they have spent there whole existences turned towards the dark it is a terribly sad awakening...so let us wake to light Dina: i dream of it Dina: we are in light ,dear Edward: really...how can you dream of it...of me holding you of the electricity between us... Dina: since i met you i am pure light sparkling light sharing love all over Dina: i want to live with you this ultimate dream Dina: this energy, this openness, without fear or restraint saying no to all conventions and limitating beliefs Dina: since i feel you are this also Edward: katherine was 12 years younger then me and my wife was 17 years younger than me...the women in my life have all been greatly younger...but this energy and mind between us is so rare to me it is so easy to be with you...you think and that is rare Dina: who is your wife Dina: im younger than you also, but not so much, so you will have to take this oldie Dina: you only told me about katherine Dina: isn’t she the mother of your sons Edward: she was a girl i met in LA before i went to hawaii. . .blond hair blue eyes tall thin... gentile...but there was a brief moment of connection for me in the gut and when i went to hawaii and opened a store i asked her if she wanted to work there...so i flew her to hawaii...i was never able to communicate mind with her...ten years...enough was enough...i set her free... Edward: we made two beautiful sons...i built an aerie...she left me for an old love of hers with the two boys when they were two and five. . Dina: wow, i didn’t know that. so you really watched you sons grow from a distance Dina: and what about katherine, when did you meet her Edward: it is wrong to keep someone just because you can...i could have kept her...but could not stand her...i kept the boys for three years by myself... but the store was 50 miles away...and i had 100 acres 20 acres of lawn i mowed with a tractor...and the boys needed the imprint of a mother...blond hair...clean sheets. .cookies in many ways she was a good imprint... Edward: but intellectually a tidal flat Edward: i met katherine when i came to st. augustine...i had never been with a jewish woman ...so completely in love...intellectually, sexually ...but she was nuts...preferred coke to sanity... Dina: well your boys are lucky, clear eyes and clear consciousness, from mom and dad Dina: when was that Dina: and why or how did you go to st aug Edward: but how we loved shabbat...challah shabbat wine...chicken...she had two children i taught them the shema...it was all quite lovely...made love to her under my prayer shall...kissed in the back of the synagogue at the end of you kippur... Edward: when i sold the property in indiana i was adrift...i did not want to be in that neck of the woods...my wife had been from there...her family...but it was not a place i would have chosen...but after that there was nothing i wanted to do and no place i wanted to be...i was fifty and fucked up...i had been done...bought and paid for the farm...and now i didn’t give a damn... Dina: so i see your life is quite different than i thought Dina: were you and katherine naked to each other Edward: i went back to hawaii stood on Hale Akula crater on Maui 16,000 feet and wondered what i was going to do next...my brother was in jacksonville fl. and i went to see what he was doing...he had just gotten a divorce...so i hung out at his house for years helping him in his losing store...and while i was doing this i visited my kids three times a month for four years staying in hotels and camping Edward: i put 250,000 miles on a new car...then my brother decided to come to st aug. so i came with him. Edward: we were naked...tantric lovers...but her consciousness was not like yours...she was intellectually smart...but she was fucked up...by her emotionality...our love making was complete conscious...like ours is over the net Edward: it was brief maybe three months then over two years now and again...but she was lost Dina: you know Edward i feel a deep emotion running through me now Dina: don’t know exactly why Dina: i could compare my first marriage to yours first Dina: and my second to your last Dina: but what i feel now, is i was in a puzzle Dina: piece by piece in trial and error looking blindly for something Dina: that missing piece Dina: that would make sense to everything in all levels Edward: i was fucked up for years with her...could not find myself...felt like i had lost myself...took a long time to come back to myself...this is the only time i have shared my self in two years...so completely with you it is orgiastic...it is intellectually sexuality Dina: i worked so much on myself, trying to understand the void, the pain, where did it came, from this absence Dina: never was really understood Dina: when i came to brasilia to live with marcos he asked why a family, normal, woman like me who had it all had so many questionings Dina: he couldn’t get me Dina: so i had to find a therapist to help me out Dina: but when i was there i went back to meat, to drinking Dina: one night we went out to a bar and i drank some beers, when we came back - i was not that drunk, believe me- i caught myself Dina: sitting over the kitchen sink crying, crying, crying desperately Dina: so that was the end of it Dina: i took my car and traveled to a small historic town 2 hours ride from there, alone Dina: and rented a house and stayed there for six months cleaning my head Dina: i wanted to die Dina: so i made one of those crazy fasts Dina: spent 10 days on rice Dina: then 10 days on juices Dina: then 10 days on fruit Dina: i always dreamed of a silence retreat, 30 days without a word Dina: but then i was so week, i discovered all that was behind it was my desire to die Dina: but i didn’t Dina: i finished my book, where i wrote this story Dina: and came to rio to look for a publisher Dina: which i found. the book doesn’t sell much, but is powerful and even i read it now and then to learn something. or recall some lesson Dina: and now and then one of my readers get in touch to say something about the experience of reading it and this feels nice Dina: but thanks god my quest didn’t left me fucked up and im now whole for you, you bet Dina: no more pain to swallow Edward: no just cock Dina: yours, you mean Edward: strong and veined Dina: in brazil in a situation like this i would ask: did we come here to drink or to chat? Dina: so, did we come here to talk or to fuck(laugh) Edward: well yes...strong and veined...Dina i have never felt this way about a woman before...never had such consciousness...such intellection presented to me before never intercoursed in such a manner at such levels...Dina...i look at your pictures and fear that i will not feel this way about your physical appearance...Dina...i love you... Edward: i hope in reality i want to fuck you as much as i do now...Dina never have i been so aroused by words and thought and mind...now to touch and taste and smell and breath and teeth and eyes and everything Dina: so in fact you think im ugly Edward: ugly ...wow...no ...different Dina: but my physical appearance is not a static picture Dina: now, well, im not as classically beautiful as your previous women, but im exotic Dina: and charming and that you can’t see in pictures Edward: yes i know...i try to envision you...i have printed the e mail...it is in my pocket and i am coming with the thought of you...how can the physical equal the erotic of consciousness Dina: and i know im out of common but when i look at the mirror what i see today pleases me Dina: funny, now more than when i was younger Dina: um biscoito fino, não para as massas Edward: Dina i have heard you speak and you are most lovely...so gentle...though you didn't say your name...yes exotic...yes i know i read the article...how much you hated what was looking back at you...in some of the pictures you look like heidi...a romanian ... Dina:a fine biscuit(cookie), not for the masses Dina: now who is heidi Edward: yes who could comprehend you ...touch your mind your soul...your vagina...Dina i am not for the masses either so far to the right of normal that i am a single sojourner...a pilgrim non pareille Dina: and i reformed my physical self as much as my mind and soul Dina: so you read the article on how i used to hate myself Edward: she was a character in a girl’s story in switzerland...each country in europe as in the world has its own physiogomy...and yours is unusual...i cannot get a grasp of it all...sometimes your face seems one way and then in that first picture you sent me with the insta cam it was long gaunt and thin i could love that...the other is like food i have not eaten Dina: but maybe you didn’t read the one where i looked at the mirror and saw exactly the women i was yearning for Dina: because i didn’t translate all the articles in the site from portuguese Dina: my face is more thin than round now Dina: i should be worried about you Edward: yes that was one of the reasons i love you...the level of consciousness that you possessed...the open honesty of you honesty arouses me causes me to love you...you cannot not love someone who is honest vulnerable...it is the human condition it is how babies come into the world it is our nature to respond to vulnerability with love Dina:about me flying this long flight to be rejected Dina: but im not, what can i do Dina: this time, i can tell you, im selfassured Dina: because appearance reflects the self and you know my self well Edward: i told you that in the begining that i didn’t want to cause you misery that i didn’t want to be responsible for that Dina: now Edward why are you back to this Dina: i have my car, my hotel room Dina: and i would do anything in the world to meet you in flesh Dina: and im responsible for myself Edward: yes let me lay you down and kiss your lips...embrace your cheek and hold you in my arms my dear Dina Dina: now i am i bit sad, not worried Edward: you are making this easy for me...i hope i love you...it would please me to love you...to have you be wife to me...to live together...i hope that i can do this...but i am an odd duck Dina: please Edward call that light for me again Dina: what do you mean odd duck Dina: i thought you were looking for shared consciousness and period Edward: we share consciousness...completely Dina: im not some kind of erotic writer in theory, one that writes hot texts but sits smoking in his lounge with a potbelly Dina: i really live it Dina: that what i write and feel with you is my picture Dina: not those digital shots Edward: what else is the point if it isn’t complete...Dina i hope to rip your skirt off when i see you become erect...and ravish you...with joy...smilingly Dina: and that's what you will do Dina: well, let me choose and old skirt, no? Dina: so i want you to meet me in the first day because i don’t want to miss a bit of this heaven that awaits me Dina: or prolong this illusion for longer (god forbid) Edward: Dina i am thin 31 inch waist 150lbs-160lbs...i am an athelete hard stomach...strong arms...i can do a handstand...one handed pushups...lever...splits...and i am smart...artistic poetic...capable of being with you on every level you are capable... Dina: well, cut the marketing i already know Dina: and all i want now is to touch your washboard abdomen Dina: to see the muscles designed under the skin Edward: i thought you were saying i was the fatty pumping out erotica...that is why i said what i said...sorry...not advertisement intended... Dina: not you, silly Dina: just a figure of speech Dina: well, we know some erotic writers are like this Dina: but certainly not you Dina: or me Edward: all i want to do is touch your stomach trace its curve...feel the softness of your skin look at the feminine principal move my hand along the inside of your thigh...lightly touch your clit delicately slide down the slit of you touching your hair ...putting my hand on your breast touching your delicate pink nipple...touching it lightly with the tips of my fingers ever so lightly Dina:: you see, Edward, when you let your fear arise our sparkle gets numb Edward: till they are erect and kissing you touching your lips with my fingers tracing the line of your mouth...touching your teeth and kissing you lightly. Edward: Dina i wanted to open that cyber shadow window and shed some light on it...i did not want it to be there between us...my dear Dina: im breathing Edward but its going already as i let you touch my nody with the lights on Dina: so you can see my body on its fullness Dina: and explore every detail you feel like Dina: and touch my apparent ribs Dina: feel the strenght of my legs’ muscles Dina: hard form such a hard daily working out Dina: and to take many minutes to examine my long neck with your tongue Dina: and check if it is boticellier enough for you Edward: i like your sense of humor...what are apparent ribs, Dina: no fat over bones Dina: no fat folds to grab Edward: oh good how i detest the fat it so obscures the grace of consciousness Dina: im alergic to fat you know? Dina: fat in body Dina: fat in food Dina: fat in china after a meal Edward: i do like your neck...that picture you sent me is so lovely in neck Dina: im out no fat at all in my kitchen cabinet or somewhere else Edward: how about humus do you like humuus Edward: and tachina... Edward: what ever are we going to eat and where Dina: its tasty, but not in my diet, although its a healthy fat Dina: well, this is up to you dear, this is one of the prices of being the host Dina: just remember that im a vegetarian Dina: and all i want to eat in 7 days is your flesh Edward: yes it is all so gross. . the eating of sinew and muscle and fatty tissue...and the like of living parts...so fruits and nuts...and vegetables... Dina: to make love to you like crazy, morning, afternoon and all night long Dina: till we drop exhausted and completelly satiated Edward: i look forward to being devoured...by you and i wish to eat your cunt and dine on your breasts as some lightly crusted french pastry Dina: and i mean it Edward: there is no part of you i shall not god willing have in my mouth Dina: again not figure of speech and thanks god im wet again Dina: swollen again Dina: thrilled again by your electric nature Edward: yes why not my dear your cunt responds to my love of it Edward: yes and i but speak to you of you without thought... Dina: Edward, i wish for you so strongly Edward: without contriveance your being senses me...fills me with longing for you...i want to fuck you Dina Dina: its like im aroused 24 hs, 24/7 Dina: and how can i deal with this Edward: Dina i want to fuck you place the tip of my cock in you and slowly slide down this fishes mouth...that it devours me Dina: if i were a man it would be harder (double sense) Dina: and i want to swallow you but slowly at first Dina: inch by inch to thouroughly delight from it Edward: you and me what of me...three weeks is a long time to wait...this semen fills me aches inside me...drips from me... Dina: yes, its a kind of suffering but there’s nothing i can do about it Dina: i could give up this ticket and leave everything behind Dina: and fly tomorrow Edward: yes slowly slowly inch by inch feel you throb against me wet pulsating...hot breathing...wet sweat...touch embrace Dina: well but then i would let things unfinished here and this i don’t want Dina: and im sucking you with my cunt Edward: i love your cunt. .. Dina: feeling the heaviness of your body on top of me Dina: thanks god cunts have no nose Edward: your legs apart knees splayed...the rise and fall of your stomach your breasts soft their tips hard against my chest Edward: why is that Dina: so the only nose here is yours as you smell me Dina: just a joke about my nose Edward: ah...i put my nose inside of you tongue to follow smelling the wet of you tasting the sweet sour taste of you Dina: but stop the crap dear, back to kisses Dina: to your hard cock Edward: okay ...i gently kiss your lips hard touch sensitive lips smooth to the touch of my tongue Dina: to that energy of yours Dina: enough to lighten the dark of night Edward: my hard cock inside of you stays motionless inside of you quiet throbbing listening to the throbbing of the lining of you sweating wet with love Edward: you come around me throbbing gasping breathing kissing Dina: your hard cock listens as my cunt sings the beautiful songs of love Dina: and have a life of their own exchanging delicacies Edward: your vigana moves and grabs me your legs surround me you hold me close within you hard with in you your arms and hands your mouth in passion opens gasping grabbing for my mouth Dina: while we look into each other’s eyes Edward: swallowing my tongue and spit Dina: and smile Dina: as i bite the tip of your ear and tell you softly how do i yearn for you Edward: how do i want you to suck me Dina: mouth and mouth Edward: teeth to teeth eye to eye lip to lip belly to belly breast to breast cunt to cock thigh to thigh feet to feet Edward: i bite your lips hot and breathing Edward: breathless my hands feel your back your butt the crack between your ass your anus your cunt... Edward: my fingers enter your cunt spread your lips face bends and plunges into the wet soaking wet mass of labia and clitoris Dina: yes Edward i can feel you Dina: i can feel your fingers opening up Edward: my cock slips between my fingers and fucks you slips in you your cunt tight tight like virgin thick against me Edward: holding me in its grasp milking me loveing me Dina: and i stroke your hair and tell you with my fingers on your head how much you do please me Dina: i want to feel you inside me Dina: completely inside me to the center of me Edward: you whisper in my ear and i hear the soft voice of the portuguese that soft accent Edward i love you... Edward: i hold you strong behind your back raise your butt off the bed and plunge my cock deep inside of you piercing all the layers of your being Dina: i want to feel your semen flowing rushing like the river nile inside of me Edward: fuck me fuck me Edward you say Dina: let me say what i say, now... Dina: yes, fuck me Edward Dina: i love you Edward (with port accent) Dina: love me Edward Dina: say you love me Edward: i feel you begin to come it is like an electricity that makes my cock know that you are coming i can sense it the mind of cock waits and feels as your body clenches straigtens screams oh god oh god im coming and i come throbbing filling you with seemen Edward: like a river a torrent of come...wet sticky alive with seed filling you...your body still in the throes of orgasm... Dina Dina Dina i love you Dina: and you look into my right eye to see a tear of pleasure rushing down my cheek Dina: tears of pleasure Dina: and gratitude Dina: and love Dina: how much i dearly love you my Edward Edward: and i kiss the saltiness of tears and kiss your lips and hold your mouth with mine...and lay within you throbbing your vagina locked in spasm around me...forever... Edward: we make such sweet love together...so innocent so pure Dina: if you call this innocent Dina: pure yes, pure source of loving pleasure Edward: love without thought innocent of contrivence Dina: i sighed strongly now, oh how i yearn to meet you soon and end this misery i feel when im not with you Edward: Dina put your hands in you feel the wet taste the come of me...i have been in you Edward: i do love making love to you...where did you go Dina: oh, Edward, im sorry some dark cloud flew over here a moment ago Edward: what was it Dina: after feeling you so strongly Dina: i feared you could end up being some jerk to compare me to blue eyes and blonde hair, sorry Edward: what we have is special Edward: so special Edward: i never made love to any woman like i make love to you Edward: so free Dina: and reality is so much more than appearance Dina: not in symbol but in fact Dina: so when i meet you i see the sparkles of energy around you face Dina: your aura Dina: i can see reality in so many levels Dina: like the acid trip i never had, only no drugs Dina: but our loving encounter Dina: which is a drug powerful enough Dina: for we are light beings in fact Dina: surrounded by eggs of sparkling light Dina: i can see yours as you will see mine Dina: much more than the appearance you so fear Dina: and this is for real Dina: that’s the me you will see Dina: a light evolved being in a cocoon of light just like you are Dina: ready to mingle with you for eternity even if eternity lasts a moment Edward: what is the point of shadow it will either be chemical or it will not...there is certainly an extraordinary connection that exists between us of love Dina: our love meeting will be eternal Edward: our love is eternal Dina this exists before we met each other Edward: this connection to mind and emotion and to body how well your body moves to mine how hungry for me you are Dina: the shadow was here, i didn’t invite it or let it come in Edward: yes the shadow was mine not yours it was of my doing Dina: but it did anyway and like a warrior i fought it with my sword of light Dina: nice image Dina:: so let’s go back to kissing... Edward: i could have said nothing...spoke nothing...but that would be contrivance manipulation...and what is between us is beyond contrivance... Edward: you kiss me... Dina: i was looking up contrivance on the dictionary Dina: yes, that’s what i feel dear Dina: i never felt something so strong Dina: and a certainty Dina: and if i am a warrior my horse knows its way since i was born Edward: there is such sweetness and beauty in you Dina: like an athlete my horse flew over all obstacles Edward: stop your horse and kiss me Dina: so you have to stop my horse, let me down gently and take my helmet off to show my abundant hair Edward: with pleasure Dina: so you take me to your hut by the river Edward: and your armour...how shall i unstrap your breast plate and skirt Dina: and give me a glass of the purest water Dina: and help me out my armour Dina: thanks god we typed the same again Dina: my armour has 3 straps around my back Dina: and they hurt me Dina: and they are deeply intrained in my flesh Dina: for this is an iniciatic armour Edward: yes my hut...and there in the corner is a spring of glacier water...artesian...i take a cup of hammered fine silver and fill it with water...the inside is layed with fine gold...guilt...and cold i turn and humble suplication give it to you Dina: why are you guilty Dina: my horse came to you of its own will Dina: and i will let you undo those straps Dina: and i will let you lay by my side until the scars heal completely Dina: i will let you patiently wash my wounds Dina: my wounded heart Dina: and i will cook for you in pay Dina: and you will dress me in lace Dina: and tie my hair on top of head Edward: you need not pay...your presence is payment enough Dina: with golden ribbons Dina: and show me in the mirror i am a women now Dina: and my warrior nature remains deeply in my heart Edward: you have always been a woman Edward: only the righteousness Edward: the sharpness of honesty and pure heart of a warrior Dina: but the flesh turns smooth Dina: and melts itself in your hands like pure nectar Dina: yes but a woman warrior too tough sometimes Dina: i want to dissolve into your heart Dina: to be pure bliss Dina: to be pure energy surrounding you Edward: to touch your flesh with firm hands massaging you deeply Dina: to let you feel the strength of my left thumb Dina: as i dissolve the knots in your muscles Dina: the tension Dina: the fear Dina: i lead you to a land of magic Dina: of silence Dina: of relaxing touch Dina: hei Edward, are you asleep already Dina: oh shit Edward where did you loose me Edward: where did you go Dina: i was here and you were not responding Edward: you were on the tension in my being...and i said Dina: immersed in my fantasy Edward: what did you say Edward: lay your self down Dina beside me your naked self against my side...the softness of your form fully laid beside my side Edward: i was listening to your story...not wanting to interrupt the train of consciousness...you seem like a valkyrie Dina: then let me embrace you gently and lets remain like this, embraced Edward: stretch your self out against my side the full length of your being your breasts against my shoulder your hips against mine your leg over mine Dina: but you know, there is something of an amazon in me with only one breast left Dina: i sometimes feel this absence Edward: my arm around you... Dina: yes Edward Dina: your arm firmly holding the world for me Dina: protecting me from evil Dina: laying a net of love over me Edward: what is the image of an amazon with only one breast left Dina: i don’t know, its something i already felt Dina: don’t worry silly i have 2 breasts and perfect health Edward: you haven’t had a mastectomy have you Dina: but spiritually i was this amazon withstrappeda armour, get me? Dina: and i answered your question before you made it Dina: you are very concerned today Edward: well yeh i got you i am no idiot... Dina: in portuguese i would say grilado Dina: you got me but asked anyway Dina: but i love you for that Edward: for not being and idiot but a jerk sometimes (laugh) Dina: yeh i want this to work Dina...i am tired of being alone and would much rather live with a woman. but i am not into settling...i would rather be alone then to pretend anything Dina: see, there’s the jerk in you Edward... he is stronger than the lover sometimes Dina: cut him down, please Dina: and who said something about pretending if we are transparent Edward: but then you know all that... Dina: what Edward: what i was saying to you was that i would love to be in love...love to live in love in tandem...in total honesty in total openness Dina: Edward i want to be a mime now with red nose and tickle you to make you laugh Dina: you need a coyote in you life right now Edward: lay next to me Dina...let me feel your body your ribs your breasts your pelvis your cunt...lay your cunt against me its red curls part your legs and cover me with one. Dina: you have to laugh a bit at yourself cause you are overly serios today Dina: you can be my animal Edward: i regard this as serious...i regard you as important Edward: i am always serious...in life in love in play...i do not pretend...life ends in death...it is not game Dina: serious yes, not seeerious if you know what i mean, profound, important, not rigid Dina: the only rigidity we need here is another kind Edward: yes i know a tree that will not bend will break...but a point of light is indivisible Dina: so i will do something I’ve been wanting to do for days Dina: i will send you my warrior vision of my death and call the email "death" but don’t panic Dina: my real, future dead, not the ones we talked about earlier Dina: and i want to be a beacon of light to you one only light point with you Edward: i am a very good analyst of poetry...the metaphor the symbol...the implied meaning ...the unimplied meaning Dina: analysis and poetry don’t mix Dina: i know you will tell me that yes, you can analyze poetry and on and on Edward: yes that was my thought...that unlike most you possess a point of light... Edward: but symbol speaks to the soul not mind Dina: Edward, dear, i fear i will have to go Dina: will you miss me Edward: really...to speak of what is said is to have understood what was said and have the linguistic ability to communicate it consciously...coherently to another...it is what the major of literature is about Dina: will you put my email on your pillow tonight Edward: yes i will miss you...but i have your e mail...and will read it tonight...over and over again...by love Edward Dina: and let me swallow you hesitant mind Dina: you are so hasty to say goodbye Edward: i thought you were saying goodbye Dina: i am , but not so fast... Dina: anyway i will now, dear i love you so much Dina: did you notice that i wrote the email thing while you were sending it Edward: no, i thought you were answering me Dina: i swear Edward: i will talk to you tomorrow love Edward Dina: bye

Dec 01 Edward re: missing you yes and i miss you being connected to you as i end our conversation our love making your warrior story...this afternoon...your body the wetness of your cunt dream...this love of ours...the light of it all...Edward

Dec 01 Edward gentle soul what a gentle soul you are Dina...it seem I am the wind and you are the kite...this finly crafted gentle thing ...that floats upon the wind...I fear I blow too hard...A

Dec 01 Dina re: gentle soul i can be light, but not weak and won't break like priceless china. im just as stronger as you are my dear, don't get me wrong. Love you/ D

Dec 01 Dina hell

Dear Edward I had to go from msn but then i cant sleep with this stone in my throat. We started well today, as always, strong, profound and delightful. I was so moved by the story of you and your women, and your near death in 66. But then i dont know what happened. My mother entered in crisis and started to cry compulsively looping endlessly on created manipulative pain. And you went back to that old hesitation i thought was far behind. So different from the bliss we had yesterday, universe conspiring and all. So i need to tell you something to make my heart lighter. I am a beautiful woman in her fifties, fit, healthy and bright. If i once fighted with my figure this is not true anymore and i love my running body, even more because its a conquest. In a way im sorry you read those articles from the past. On the other side if we mean to be transparent it won't do harm for you to know that i am the result of a long journey, where i was ugly once, maybe with an image distortion syndrome ugliness, not real one. But im no Cindy Crawford and not a youngster. And i doubt you could exchange poetry and deep consciousness with Cindy anyway, although you may and im full of prejudice toward tops... And despite your washboard stomach i expect you to be a virile, strong and fit man arriving to his sixties. Again prejudice i wouldn't expect to exchange such profound beauty with Di Caprio anyway. Of course your beautiful body gives me pleasure, but that could fade quickly with a brief passion. I experienced this before. How the sexual magic can disappear in one night - as you wake up to a stranger in your bed - when the inside is week. Anyway my expectation for us is high. I foresee our life forever filled with passion, these sophisticated, long chiselled warrior beings that we are in a long - if not permanent - exciting poetry battle, exchanging exhilarating spears of love and joy. Thats how you made me feel after we denudated ourselves. Thats how i expect you to make me feel now and in the future. And I assure you an effort is not needed, since reality is not that far from idealized beauty. I recognize this god in you, and i know you recognize this goddess in me. So lets us dwell in Olympia, my dear Perfect flawless mature woman body equals the consumism, the despisingly empty marketing you so condemn. That's something i flee from. From syllicon implants, or botox injections or collagen fillings or lyposuction to get a wrinkless fake face, an emaciated and energyless body. I have a few wrinkles alright, and they are beautifully telling the story of my life. When i offer myself to you openly in love, i feel im offering you a splendorous spectacle of human nature at its best. And expect to receive the same in return. Edward, lets cut the crap and love each other as we deserve. And rest assured that i love you deeply. I embrace you kindly and hope to dream of you - the real you - all night. Bonne nuit my love Dina

Dec 01 Edward re: hell

Dina i love you as wife...Edward

Dec 01 Edward re: hell wife i love you...you are complementt to my soul...there is no place you are i cannot go...no place you have been i cannot know...you are strong tis self evident...muscled arms...legs of iron...cunt so soft and sweet would make adam dream of eve...excuse this shallow fearful being that i am...your worth as perfect diamond is self evident...the reflection of light from within without distortion... Dina i love you.

Dec 01 Edward as wife to me and so you sleep in dream...Dina i would lay with you and hold you dear to me ...would wake and lay within you the smell of you sleep upon your naked body...the soft warmth of your being ...wake to me...let me kiss your face hold you in my arms the softness of your breast upon my chest the warm sweet smell of morning upon you...let me hold you in my arms and wake the morning light with you...kiss you softly enter you kiss you...taste the night within your mouth...have you smile in waking see the smile in your eyes...embrace you...Dina the smell of you in morning...is like breath itself...god Dina... you are as wife to me. love Edward

Thursday dec 02

Dec 02 Dina re: as wife to me

Edward, mon amour Everything happened exactly as you intended. I dreamt of you all night and when i woke up, i switched the computer on and there you were pour me reveiller with your gentleness and lovingness. Of course i excuse you, my dear, for i love you deeply. Important thing is never go to bed with a heavy heart, never drown your pain in sex... Now we are wiser as a couple and i love you even more. See you later/ D

Dec 02 Dina Komm tantz mit mir you remind me of a Pina Bausch's quote in one of her ballets: "What are you afraid of? Dynosaurs?"

Edward, have you noticed we've been dancing the same dance although with different partners? The duration and nature of our marriages are similar. The first longer, with mindless handsome mates. The second shorter, deeper, courting tantra, a rehearsal to a soulmates reunion, although with fucked up minded spouses (where we got lost, painfully mistaken...) The time has come for us, Edward, to do our dance together. Komm tantz mit mir, my love, without delay!

Dina: hei, Edward Dina: Edward,are you there? Edward: are we there Edward: yes are you Dina: how did you survive the dark forces attack Edward: i have already been through death...fuck dark forces Dina: evil is restless with our joy, now that i can breath again i can laugh a little Edward: i am on a cyber cafe to my time is limited all the libraries were closed for some reason today Dina: so did you read my emails, and how long do we have Edward: Dina don’t be dramatic there is nothing to fear what is is ...and what is not is not...no point being concerned about it Edward: we are in motion...we are orbiting and will meet in apogee Dina: im not concerned, only making a picture of what is happenning Dina: and a bit of drama is interesting Edward: yes i read your e mails quite lovely and i slept with you by my head and woke and came in you Edward: the stroking of your labia and the sucking animal that lives within brings joy to me Dina: Edward, i miss you when you're not with me Edward: yes i feel such elation when i am engaged with you ...it is no doubt pheromones...as powerful as morphine and its absence is sorely missed Edward: is it pheramones or is that something that has a scent...im not near a dictionary...the natural production of brain chemestry Dina: you know, my metabolism is changed and i can’t seem to go back, almost all the time is like a semi-dream, a special state of raised consciousnes Edward:i too am awake when i am speaking with you... Dina: no pheromones is not that, but a sexual smell we all are supposed to emit to attract the opposite sex Edward: anyway, we fell victims or winners of pheromones so powerful to round the world Dina: and this energy so awesome the minute you call me on msn i start to get wet Edward: what are you wearing Dina: and feel some inquietude in my heart, though a pleasant inquietude(is this english or not) Dina: panties, and a x-large t-shirt from the last marathon Dina: how did you know i sleep naked Edward: you told me you layed on the bed naked propped up with pillows...but with me you would sleep naked Dina: well, but this was once, what im telling you is that i already sleep naked, with or whithout, always have and i understand you too Dina: and im looking forward to feel your body against mine for a whole night and many more Dina: with or whithout you, i mean Edward: i love the image of you in wet panties...let me reach over and touch you through the fabric feel it wet against in then slip my fingers along the edge to flesh to that soft sweet labia wet...and the inside let me slip my fingers to the mouth of the animal Dina: we have to pet this animal or else it will swallow you Dina: its growing, you see? you feel? Edward: yes i know gently gently...till it speaks to have me enter Edward: i probably have 15 more minutes Dina: and im already throbbing, in fact, really, not a figure of speech, Edward Dina: im welcoming you with all the energy of my inner traits Dina: i want you inside of me Dina: to be one with you now Edward: would be nice to spend this afternoon there Dina: you see, my orgasm is behaving according to your watch Dina: its the first time this happens to me, you know, without any external stimuli, only the mind and you Dina: no fingers, both typing, as you can see Dina: and im still throbbing Dina: throbbing as i type and even stronger Edward: then let me come in you gently slip your pants aside and slip my self so stealthily in side...first the head slipping in so slowly between the folds...my hardened veined penis...red and throbing...marking the pace of heart...slipping in Dina: yes, Edward, i can fell you Edward: more and more i enter slowly sliding on the slippery slope of the canyouns of your vagina Dina: i can feel you coming inside me and i welcome you my love Edward: i move slowly till i am completely in you pelvis to pelvis bone to bone Edward: we stop in tremble Dina: and i feel my nipples touching you hairy chest, as i smile for you and look you in the eye Dina: and we stop, we sit looking at each other and you feel me throbbing around you Dina: how can an orgasm(the one im really feeling) last so long, while my mind is rushing and my fingers typing Dina: I’ve never felt this Dina: hei Edward are you gone already Edward: your breast against me arms around my neck...i press my lips against your neck lick you with my tongue...kiss your cheek move to your mouth to its tight lips...taste your tongue so sweet within my mouth...you come and come around me time stands still you throb and come embrace me with your harms hold me close squeeze me with all the force of your arms and your cunt...sucking sucking Edward: Dina sex should be taken slowly for hours...coming for hours Edward: throbbing in multiple orgasms Dina: yes, you must show me this, allow me to experience his, its an old, profound desire of mine Dina: for i've been once to a tantra workshop withouth a partner, nightmare Edward: Dina i love that you can come with me...i have to go now will talk with you tomorrow Edward: love you Edward Edward: keep yourself wet.. .love Edward

Dec 02 wow

Dec 02 Dina appointment

Edward dear, please don't call me tomorrow before 3pm (12:00 fl time). Hope you will see this email. I decided to call a psychiatrist for mom and he will be here so i won't be able to talk. But after that... im completely free for you, my love/ D

Dec 02 Edward re: appointment received your e mail n'avez pas de peur...i will call you after that...wow

Friday dec 03

Dec 03 Dina morning breeze

Good morning, my love. I was combing my hair at the mirror this morning as i woke up and caught myself wondering if you will enjoy my daily gestures. I think you will. Love/ D

Dec 03 Dina you

Check this link, my love: (Dina sings for Edward online) please be patient while loading sound Lillies by Claude Monet

Dec 03 Edward re: you how lovely you sing mon amour

Dec 03 Edward mail on hotmail waiting ...the thought of your music...how hard it is to sing without accompanyment...how sweet the dulcet tones of your voice...i love the way you say roses...you remind me of a great love i had astro gilberto...it was a long time ago...but how i loved the sweetness of her soul...i know that if you are not here it is because you are dealing the sysaphysian...i hope your mother will be well...the human paradigmn...i am so impressed with your sensitivity...your gentle sweetness...your grace and the panoply of art that you breathe into me...love Edward

Dina: hi, dear Dina: im here at last, out of some hell, the doctor just felt Dina: left Dina: i read your email on msn, look like you are not on line after all, well, im here for you, my love Edward: dear Dina... Edward: ou est toi Dina: hei, Edward Dina: i was making tea, i need to recover a bit, it was tough Edward:i can imagine...human emotionality can be draining Dina: well, at least now i have a prognosis, and the worse, she really has alzheimer Edward: and what is the plan Dina: so we will start with some medication to curb her agressivity Dina: but im happy i decided to call the doctor, and i liked him very much Dina: so the plan, i don’t know yet Dina: if i stay here, we will have to hire someone to help, Dina: and if a move... well he recomended a home Edward: this can i assume go on for a very long time in all of its manifestations Dina: tell me dear, where are you, can you wait another half an hour so we can talk freely? Edward: yes Edward: i am at the library Dina: because the travel agent just arrived with my tickets and i have to sign some papers and make checks Dina: so i won’t disconnect and will be back to you in about 15 minutes Edward: ma pauvre petite... Edward: komm dantz mit me... Edward: you are so lovely you fill me with such joy Edward: i smile at your epistles Edward: they are like sunlight through a window Edward: let me hold you in my arms and kiss your cheek Edward: put cheek to cheek and just hold you Dina: hei, dear, im back, ticket and all Dina: and a hotel voucher for 2 Dina: 1 week Edward: how i love you Dina: so tell, me im veeeery curious. did you date astrud gilberto or i did not understand what you said Edward: no i was 17 and when i first heard bossa nova...i fell in love with her voice... Dina: oh, i see. she's famous, but tiny voice. anyway im not a singer, just wanted to sing for you at sunset looking at the sea Edward: merci Dina: so i bought a microphone this morning Dina: and now i can talk to you whenever i feel like Edward: oh mon dieu... Edward: sacre bleu Edward: how will i stand it Dina: i will do some research but i think i can talk to you online as well Dina: stand what Edward: wouldn't that be encroyable Edward: stand the delight of it Dina: care for some green tea, dear Edward: yes Edward: sugar Dina: green tea... with sugar? Dina: some nonsense Edward: its in the manner of the chinese Dina: yes of course Dina: i don't use sugar, but i think i can borrow some for you Edward: digustibus non es desputandum Dina: right Edward: no it is not required. . Edward: nothing is required Dina: so back to mom, im now feeling a bit detached, which is good, and necessary, considering what is coming Dina: and i know i will be strong enough to do what i have to do and go on with my life Dina: so im more tranquile Edward: are you able to leave her alone during the day Dina: well the doctor said that she needs someone with her 24/7 Dina: because she can get disoriented very suddenly and need assistance Dina: but as it is now, if a have to live, she stays alone Edward: no doubt...you could drug her while you were out...let her sleep Edward: what a terrible responsiblity Dina: im used to go out every morning at 7 to workout but im usually back at 9, 10 maximum Dina: and currently i don’t have any help, because she doesn’t accept it, nobody Dina: but this will have to change soon because im getting exhausted Edward: let me see if i can energize you Dina: so during my trip we will try this woman who will be here while im away Dina: you know Edward, and i mean it, if not for you i would not be doing any of this Edward: doing any of what Dina: when i met you i woke up to my own life and had to take a stand Dina: calling a psychiatrist Dina: traveling Dina: taking vacation Dina: i made a small revolution in my daily life on the last 15 days, something was really necessary and already delayed beyond acceptability Dina: so,your love gave such a huge support, you have no idea, like an enzime, a catalyzer Edward: the word i was trying to think of yesterday was endorphin... Dina: yes, we could bottle pure endorphin and sell on the internet for sleepy couples Dina: and adrenalin Edward: you’re cute Edward: you make me smile Dina: and a manual on how to raise kundalini Dina: start with consciousness and mix Edward: mix what Dina: the energies of selves Dina: of mind Edward: yes, we are very efficient on this Edward: i liked the wow would that i could come like that alone... Dina: can't you? Edward: not in the library... Dina: i thought this wasn’t difficult for men Edward: oh, yes, that’s a problem Edward: unconscious men... Edward: idiots. Dina: well, to be solved very soon Edward: it is no problem...it gives me great delight to make love to you and have you reach orgasm from some thought of me Dina: i spent half of last night dreaming awake of us together Edward: take a picture of you under your dress...and i can lay awake dreaming of you Dina: oh, Edward, i can’t to this Dina: i wonder if you will make me do this Edward: no ... Dina: isn’t that too much Edward: don’t be silly... Dina: silly yes or silly no Edward: i love to hear your voice...see your art hear you Dina: you know i discovered something veeeery interesting Edward: pray tell Dina: i have a friend who is married to a dutch man Dina: recently married Edward: and Dina: my best friend, she is, so when i first met you, i asked her how was it to have a foreign husband Dina: and note that she speeks english poorly Dina: and she said it was okay, that even in our own language it was difficult to communicate sometimes Dina: i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to communicate fully with you Dina; but then i discovered that in english, im so free Dina: all the cultural restraints and words you are taught no to use by fake moral training Dina: are not present in a foreign language Dina: so i discovered im so free to talk Dina: and being free with words im completely free with body mind and soul Dina: well, of course i have to credit some of this to my partner Dina: but then im in ecstasy with that Edward: yes... Dina: im amazed at what i can say and write, it is like discovering a whole new world Dina: and this adds to feeling as well Dina: so im truly reborn with my american lover Edward: yes awakened to yourself Dina: a whole new Dina tailored for you Dina: so enjoy, dear Edward: i am Dina...i would not be here hours speaking with you... Dina: and no barriers of any kind between us Edward: my cock is forever alive when i speak with you Dina: so astonishing, awesome, delightful, WOW Dina: i love you Edward Dina: and your curly hair Dina: and the hair in your chest Edward: yeh wetted WOW... Dina: and your washboard stomach Dina: and your arms, your legs Dina: your feet, your hands, your nails Dina: your groin Dina: and your cock (last but not least, oh god, no) Dina: creme de la creme Edward: let me touch the curls around your cunt...soft sweet Edward: trace my fingers through those red locks...to that bud on the left side... Dina: im open for you, dear Edward: and lightly touch it with my fingers Edward: trace the side of it Dina: you know dear, you are like no other man Edward: trace the top of it Dina: i disclose my secrets for you Dina: my secret spots Dina: the dark sucking secrets of my cunt Edward: let me touch them...lightly touch the swollen labia...in all its flesh...lightly along the length of it Dina: that’s how you know me Dina: from the outside to the inside Dina: from surface to depth Edward: let me slip the middle finger of my left hand into you Edward: feel the wet sucking self Dina: i want you to explore my land of magic Edward: spread you with another finger separate you open the door Dina: to wake up this mammal that lives there Dina: and sleeps all the time when you are not here Edward: and with two hands hold you open and bend to kiss you Edward: to hold my lips lightly on you brushing your cunt with them Edward: breathing lightly on you blowing hot breath Edward: kiss you smell you Dina: oh Edward, how i love when you touch me Dina: explore me Dina: suck me Edward: put the tip of my tongue to the slit of you Edward: press my tongue till it pierces you Dina: as i stay here immersed in silent bliss Edward: deeply have my tongue enter you...lick the juices of you...lick the layers of you Dina: yes Edward i can feel you Dina: i can feel your energy surrounding me Edward: spread your legs and hold your cunt in both my hands framed...spreading the opening of it Dina: now tell me what do you see Edward: bring my cock so hard so think so hot so veined so erect the opening of it to the gate ... Dina: Edward, be back in a moment Edward: i see a mass of hair...red and curls...crowning a fig...cut open so the milky fluid of it and seeds emerge Dina: picture me standing up, walking to the kitchen and answering the door in this state Edward: i see a throbbing being pink Edward: yes that is very funny Dina: will you taste this milk Edward: slit with rounded sides with folds within with folds within...slik and shining Edward: let me lick and swallow and dine and drink of it Edward: let me suck it till you come Edward: let me lay between your legs and drink of it Dina: yes Edward, i can feel you Dina: licking me Dina: sucking me Dina: feel my tongue in you Dina: tasting me Edward: feel it trace you Edward: taste the saltiness of you Edward: smell you Dina: your tongue is strong and sweet Dina: and curious and alive Edward: let me spread your lips and lay my lips close to your cunt...from the bottom of this canyon to the top to that clitoral pinked bud Edward: place your fingers in your cunt and slide into itself...touch yourself Edward: touch yourself as me Edward: make yourself cum Dina: you know, my love, i didn’t write but i was doing this Dina: im wet beyond description Edward: yes i can feel you coming Edward: place your hands and fingers between your legs and let them be me Dina: keep writing dear, as I only have one hand now Dina: oh so nice Edward: let me bend between your legs kiss the inside of your thigns...lick the crack between your legs put my cock inside of you so whet so slippery Edward: so hot so smooth so thick let me feel you Edward: writhe beneath me bite me tear my back with your nails hold my ass...grab me with your legs wrap them around me Dina: yes dear Edward: squeeze me tight over and over again let me drive my cock into you harder and harder till the rhythms of our bodies move as one Dina: oh Edward come now Edward: let me move the full lenth of my cock in and then almost out...till just the tip remains within...and then in with all its length and then out slowly till the tip is just inside of you held there by the last folds of your cunt and then spreading the pink flesh in and in and then come... Dina: oh Edward, i really came, you know, i wish you could see me, thanks god im not in the library Dina: its the first time i really touched myself with you on line, it was awesome Edward: feel the muscles of my cock tremble feel the spasm of the cycle of coming feel the fluid splash within you feel by mouth on your mouth my arms around you your wet body against me...i wrote the piece about coming before you told me to come now Dina: WOW Dina: thank you , my love Dina: for giving me SO MUCH PLEASURE Edward: is your vagina thick and wet are you sitting lying on your back naked...it pleases me to please you my dear Dina: no dear, im sitting in front of the computer completely dressed, a flowery dress with beige panties and i slipped my fingers beneath my clothes Dina: to follow your words with action Edward: how lovely Dina: the words were a discription of action Dina: it was powerful,believe me Dina: wish you could be doing the same on the other side Dina: i don’t know how you can control yourself Dina: with such power Edward: i take my cock out and wet with lotion my right hand and then grasp my cock and touch the head with the round of my fingers...my fingers touch the sides of my cock it is hard and erect and throbbing thinking of you Edward: slowly i slide my hand down the length of it...then back again stroking it lightly and gently teasing it thinking of you Dina: as i gentle stroke your cock along the veins with my tongue Dina: trancing it gently Dina: tracing Dina: i put the tip of my tongue to open the little cut on top of it Edward: stroke upon stroke breathing heavily panting standing against the wall thinking of you thinking of your mouth of your breasts of your cunt of your legs of your butt faster and faster till i feel the rising of semen in me...harder and harder i become faster and faster the movement of my hand...wet thick hard soft... Dina: then go down in circles surrounding this rosy cap Edward: i can feel your lips around it Dina: and i watch as you come Dina: feel the strenght of your semen Dina: the sweetsour milky nature Dina: that blesses me and feeds me Edward: and then i come a hard flow of milky white. . shoots out before me white sticky thick Edward: feel your tongue around me sucking me licking me drinking me swallowing me Dina: you know i just felt the taste of you in my mouth, really Dina: my mouth was suddenly full of liquid Edward: and im still hard Edward: let me slip it between your legs Dina: so come, dear, come inside me, let me delight from you Edward: i did laugh at the coincidence of words Dina: how i love you, Edward, mon amour Edward: it must be love and its phenomenon that allows us to be such one in time Dina: over and over again we share the same moment Edward: but i do want to be in your cunt Dina: and this is awesome Dina: and how i really do feel you inside me Dina: your tongue in my mouth exchanging tiny bites Dina: your cock in my cunt Edward: feel me throb within you Dina: as i suck you and suck you and suck you Dina: and you can feel my vagina throbbing around you Dina: pressing you Dina: as you touch the center of my being Edward: and i come and come and come...my cock in you Dina Dina: as you touch my essence Dina: the depth of my soul filled with joy Dina: as we tremble Dina: and shaking we pave our path to heavens Edward: i roll on my back and you sit astride me naked erect arms behind your breasts erect your belly throbing you bend your hair brushing my face and kiss my lips Dina: and i move back and forth as a chevalier riding your cock Dina: on top of you Edward: i put my hands on your hips and press you against me you rise and set and rise till just the tip of me remains then down Dina: lady godiva with a mass of hair flowing on the air Dina: riding you Edward: my cock deep within you your smile on your face Edward: you find this amusing Dina: you touch the erect nipples on my breasts Dina: as you watch me smile Dina: and my butt touching your groin Dina: your hand in my butt Dina: groin to groin cunt to cock Dina: my pubic hair mixed with yours Dina: and one and only mass of smooth curls Edward: my hand comes around your butt feels your crack feels the wet from your cunt dripping on me Dina: i feel you deep down inside of me Dina: as i ride you Dina: my premium horse Dina: the horse and the warrior as one in battle Dina: and we start to moan, wailing loudly Dina: panting as i ride you Edward: i sit and turn and sit astride the bed with you on my lap your legs around me your arms about my neck your mouths locked our cunt and cocked locked in embrace Dina: and you touch my clitoris with your finger as i ride you Edward: yes more more... Edward: and we come to the verge of orgasm and stop, breathe, stay there in the midst of this foggy impossible to describe storm of sensations Dina: wave upon wave of pleasure heat rising to our heads Dina: flushing our faces Edward: sit with me and let me breath you Dina: we are on fire Edward: a silent fire tempered with warm breeze as you breath me Dina: and i breathe you Edward: fuck me Dina fuck me i love you Dina: and i open my aura to the energy of you Dina: i fuck you as you fuck me and our energies mix Edward: yes that is why we connect so well our energies are open to each other Dina: we are body, and energy, and soul Dina: and touch and feel and kiss Dina: and bliss Edward: and you are wet and i want to be in you Dina: i am you as you are me Dina: so i lay down open once more for you my love Edward: we have given ourselves completely naked to each other Dina: and touch and kiss and feel and bliss Dina: naked in all levels Dina: open, surrendered Edward: i slip between your legs and sleep with thee Dina: mad with each other Dina: cosmic tantric love Dina: Edward i love you, love you love you Dina: from the tip of my hair to the tip of my toe Dina: my body loves you Dina: my skin yearns for you Dina: my mouth thirsty for you Edward: let me grab you hold you in my arms kiss you Dina: i recognize you at a celular level Dina: my cells yearn for you Edward: pre cellular Dina: to be renewed by you Edward: your soul yearns for me Dina: a whole new being as i feel loved by you Edward: we are renewed by each other Edward: love energizes...love Dina: and how it does Edward: strong conscious pure clean Dina: i feel a peaceful bliss running down from my head to heart now Dina: calming my mind Dina: silencing all thought Dina: all pain gone Dina: drowned in this wide sea of pleasure Edward: isn’t love "grand" Dina: you bet Edward: what a balm it is for existence Dina: how can we live without this, i cannot grasp Edward: Dina my love i have enjoyed this day...enjoyed making love with you... Dina: and i did enjoy you so much, my love, today and everyday Edward: why would anyone want to live without it...but you have to be clean... to experience it Dina: light of my life Edward: chaleur do ma vie...warmth of my life Dina: remember that thing about you cleaning me with your laser Edward: well yes Dina: well you did, i can feel you, i can feel the difference Dina: and i feel clean, blessed, more transparent than ever Dina: my eyes clearer Dina: my body lighter Dina: my soul more quiet Dina: satisfied Edward: shabbat shalom...love making on the Shabbat is a blessing Dina: and that’s one more of the million reasons why i love you Edward: i have to go now Dina Dina: shabbat shalom, my man Dina: be blessed, go in peace Edward: so i will talk with you soon love Edward bye

Edward surprises Dina coming back online a few minutes later

Dina: hei, dear Edward: you are there Dina: yes, singing for you Edward: oh how sweet you are Dina: will send you soon Edward: shall i hang up and let you finish Dina: no, no Dina: i was not expecting to see you again today Edward: ma cher amie comme je t’aime Dina: its a surprise Edward: nor i...i was checking to see if you had emailed me...i don’t know what my freedom will be tomorrow Edward: tis night in rio... Dina: now is a good time, everything is very quiet Edward: come into my arms and let me kiss you Edward: come into my arms and let me hold you Dina: and i can enjoy you peacefully Edward: what a day Dina: tell me about it Edward: it seems i cannot part without longing Edward: no i was speaking of your day...my day was you Edward: the rest is nonsense Dina: its really difficult to say goodbye, but you say: i have to leave now bye love Edward and that’s it Edward: are you naked... Dina: no, do you think im always naked Edward: yes it would be nice Edward: you are always naked to me Dina: but how would i go to the supermarket, to the bank, to the gym (it would be a huge success) Dina: but if you ever come to brazil i promise to take you to a nudist beach Edward: yes to me it would...i do not think of you away from me Edward: yes a nudist beach with an hugh erection that would be nice Dina: well, if you consider i feel you inside me and by my side 24/7 Dina: so we are one Edward: mated Dina: yes, that’s how i feel Edward: you type so slow Dina: mates mated,one soul Dina: one body one self Edward: ou est toi Dina: no wait on line a tiny second Dina: ok, im back Dina: im sending you the music Dina: in about 3 minutes, am uploading it Edward: i hunger for you there is a void in me Dina: so you can check the link Edward: the rest seems nonsense Dina: now Edward: shall i call you back Dina: sends to Edward a music file, ferida Dina: no, but don’t check the link yet i will tell when the upload is completed Dina: don’t go, stay where you are my dear Edward: je suis ici Dina: so im free now to talk, i will hear the sound of uploading completed Edward: i would like to complete you Dina: it will be fun if you can hear my voice as i speak to you on line Edward: yes i could not stand my self Dina: in this computer you use, is there a mike Edward: no. . Dina: microphone Dina: so i can speak to you but you cannot answer Edward: perhaps i could find something or other Dina: anyway i don’t know yet how to do this Edward: i could shout into the computer...yes so you can speak and i can type Dina: still have to do some research Edward: yes i know either way or any it would be fun Dina: in a while devices will be more integrated, no? Edward: yes i would like my device to be more integrated Edward: i would like to be in you while we talk Edward: wouldn’t that be great fun Dina: you will walk down the street talking to someone on the other side of the world and seeing the image of them on a tiny screen above your eye and then you will get nuts without knowing where you are and who with Dina: but how can i talk if i need to wail Dina: to moan, to shout my pleasure Edward: i can hear your voice your moan....your wail as you come with me Dina: but we will soon talk, smell, touch Dina: kiss, fuck Edward: with your microphone i can here you speak to me as you and i make love Dina: for real Edward: yes kiss fuck Edward: for real Dina: i don’t mean we are not real now, of course Edward: cunt your cunt you...me my cock hard sitting here marking time Edward: no we are real... Dina: we are more real now than anything i ever experienced Edward: this is as truth as truth is Edward: you have to be literate to do this Dina: did you notice this afternoon when i told you i already have the tickets and the hotel voucher for 2 Edward: i too have never experienced this so conscious so intelligent so evolved Edward: yes i noticed Edward: there is naught that i do not Edward: i loved the 2 Edward: you are so sweet and fill my groin with such longing Dina: ok, the link is online, can you recover it or want me to repeat Edward: i will have to leave here to go to my email site want to wait Dina: ok Dina: no, Edward, i did not send you an email Edward: be right back Edward: what did you do Dina: look, i will repeat the link here, on line, you only have to click Edward: clik what where Dina: sings to Edward on a file, Eu quero a sorte de uma amor tranquilo... Dina: so you will have to be patient music takes a while to download, can we go on talking? Edward: sorry to have disappeared...send the address to my email and i will hear it tomorrow Edward: you have vanished in the silence of this cryptic crypticness Edward: are you there... Dina: no, im sending you the email Edward: this machinery is crap... Edward: very old fashioned Edward:: i don’t even know if this receives sound im wearing headphones Dina: when you hear the music, notice near the end there is a moment where i seem to smile in the middle of song, this was when Dina: you entered msn Edward: i have ten more minutes before it ends Edward: let me check my email and see if i can get sound with the website reference be right back Dina: so i understand you are not in the library Edward: no i am in a different library with older equipment Dina: i see. well, i sent you the link listen whenever you feel like what will you do the weekend Dina: Edward, where are you Edward: how lovely i love the sound of your voice the strenght of it ...i come in you Dina...i have to go dream of me meet with me tonight place your fingers on you and let me love you je t'aime mon amour...comme je t'aime ...a demain Edward Dina: bye, dear...

Dec 03 Dina sings online Ferida

(Cazuza) Let me be lucky, to have a quiet love One that tastes like bitten fruit See us clashing, swaying in our hammock Quenching our thirst with saliva To be your bread, to be your nutrient To have all the love there is in life And some spare change as a guarantee

To be an artist of our daily encounter In hell and heaven of day-to-day life And the poetry we cannot live To transform boredom into song To be your bread, to be your nutrient To have all the love there is in life And some poison against monotony

And if i find your hidden source I reach fully the honey, the wound The whole body as a hurricane Mouth, neck, hand, but not your mind, no To be your bread, to be your nutrient To have all the love there is in life And some drugs to give me joy

Saturday dec 04

Dec 04 shabat

Edward,my love Last night i intended to go to bed and sleep, no more, for i was so tired. So i layed down and started to watch a silly film to rest my mind, a contemporary cinderella tale, now guess what: Cinderella meets Prince Charming on cyberspace!!!! And they start to type like crazy, on the cell, on the library, on cyber cafes, at home... We are not alone, dear, state-of- the-art lovers.Tres chic. So i wasn't alowed to let my love for you fall asleep for a night, i turned the dvd off, the lights off and stayed there quiet in darkness waiting for sleep to come... But then you came again and i was there with you making love for the 3rd, 4th, 5th time in only 1 day. Well, after that i relaxed completely for the first time in many days, my body heavy on the pillows, the heat of you embracing me till i fell asleep. And today is Saturday and i stay home all day, no running, no working out, only baking briefly in the kitchen and then back to bed thinking of you: a holy day as holy are all days since i met you. Good morning my love (my lover welcomes his bride ...lecha dodi likrat khalah) ani hohevet otcha...

Dec 04 jaya (victory)

Dear Edward As i was making love to you this morning against the wall, on the kitchen sink, on the table, on the couch, on the floor, in the bathroom, in the tub, came to my mind this long forgotten tantric devotional chant, meaning: SALUTATIONS TO THE GURU BY WHOSE GRACE THE ONE INFINITE, ALL PERVADING REALITY IS REVEALED. GOVINDA JAYA JAYA GOPALA JAYA JAYA RADHA RAMANA HARI GOVINDA JAYA JAYA VICTORY TO RADHA AND KRISHNA, THE DIVINE LOVERS, THE VERY SOUL OF LOVE…. I can't think of a better way to express my joy for being with you.

Love/ Dina

Sunday dec 05

Dec 05 Dina bossa nova

Edward, my love. click here to check bossa nova. Talking through music.

Dec 05 Edward re: bossa nova quero a vida sempre assim com voce perto de mim...E

Dec 05 Dina one day without you

My dear Edward, how i needed to rest for a while from this emotional turmoil we've been through. Be certain, though, that i missed you every moment of the day. Love/ Dina

Dec 05 Edward ni l’un ni l’autre my dear Dina: i havent had time or place to read/listen to the kiss of your words...i will speak to you on monday...love Edward...and in your dreams come and think of me...and let me touch like sunlight thy self thy soul

Dec 05 Dina l’un et l’autre and while i wait... click here

Monday dec 06

Dec 06 Edward o que e felicidade meu amore je t'aime mon amour...how sweet thou art my love...the time between us is unbearable an eternity of longing so heavy on my being...you are life itself...light...meu amore j'embrace toi kiss you...c'est moi mon amour. . eeshtee.

Dec 06 Edward je t’aime write to me my sweet...love you...love making love to you...love speaking with you...hearing you...listening to you...je t'aime...Edward Dec 06 Dina re: je t’aime je t'aime aussi... je t'embrace im with you endlessly, mingled in eternity... i belong to you completely.

Dec 06 Edward et toi ques ce que te fait my dear i am late at night on the computer and cannot not hold you in embrace wake to you in the morning and hold you dear... kiss you smell the morning on you taste your breast taste your teat tongue you taste you hold you in embrace...cher aimee ... je t'aime... wake to me let me hold your naked form against me... touch your face with my lips...touch your body with my fingers...hold you next to me...and make love to you...je t'aime Edward

Dec 06 Dina re:et toi ques ce que te fait

Edward, je ne c'est pas ce que m'arrive i got so tired yesterday went to bed at 8 and am now awake at 4, completely out of spin. Ani mitztaeret i was not late at night on the computer to make love to you the whole night through. Soon. It will be soon. We will hang in each other's arms endlessly. Bonjour, my love. Te amo pra sempre/ Dina

Edward: hi Dina Edward: i was impressed with the range and clarity of your voice it is very reminiscent of my own... Edward: you are able to channel great power through your voice ...flawlessly...a great rarity and a great delight Edward: i shall check back with you in a bit... Dina: hei, dear Dina: i was in the kitchen, didnt see you connect Edward: loved your e mails Dina: i missed you Edward: the chant was exquisite... Edward: tell me where are you now Edward: moi aussie Dina: sorry, Edward, i had a software running that was blocking my mouse Dina: i am in my room Dina: my mother is shouting like crazy, because i gave her the medicine Dina: but today i have a helper so i closed my door Dina: so we are alone Edward: YES Dina: my love i missed you Edward:: let me kiss you on your lips and hold your breast in my hand Dina: you know when you are away i fear so much to wake from this dream Dina: Edward Dina: where are you Edward: Dina we occupy the same time the same space on earth... .this is waking existence Edward: speaking to you Dina: so lets go back to kissing... Edward: in a corner of a delightful library Edward: how nice Dina: today here is veeery hot Dina: first day of real summer Edward: il fait chaud n'est ce pas? Edward: make love to me on voice Dina: oui, cheri, even hotter chating here with you Edward: i am hard Dina: do you have a headphone Dina: kiss me Edward: yes Dina: well, i tried to invite you to talk with sound but you refused Dina: there must be some retriction in your computer... Edward: ce n'est pas vrai Dina: so we will have to keep typing Edward: the library has no microphone...but that does not change the effect your voice has on me Dina: but anyway as i type, i touch your hair, your eyebrows, gently kissing your closed eyelids Dina: and then softly kissing the tip of your nose Edward: put your hand under your blouse and touch your breasts Edward: feel your nipple swell harden Edward: feel the form of your breast touch the the halo around your nipple...tease it Dina: as you touch my nipples i keep kissing your face till i get to your mouth Dina: so i play with the tip of my tongue asking permission to enter Edward: my thumb and forefinger pinch your nipple i twist it ever so slightly playing with it teasing it...watching your breast rise and fall as your breathing quickens Edward: my mouth parts slightly tasting the tip of your tongue as it enters Dina: there we go, my love, again inside this hurricane Edward: my hand grasps your breast pressing it against you Dina: and we kiss, gently and then strongly, talking, laughing at the same time, our mouths sealed in one Edward: my mouth parts swallows your tongue... Dina: oh how i desire you, my love Edward: let me lift your dress Edward: feel the bare naked skin of your legs Edward: feel the smooth softness of the inside of your thigh Edward: feel you move against my hand Dina: i raise my arms and let you slowly take my dress off as i open the buttons in your trousers Dina: always kissing Edward: feel your mouth awake with passion Edward: and i slip my hand to touch you Edward: both hands trace the form of your breast Edward: fingers toying touching nipples Dina: and i stroke your cock gently, feeling as it rises Dina: always kissing Edward: hands tracing your ribs your waist your hips Edward: mouth on mine breathing innertwined Edward: slipping bind the soft cold curves of your ass...smooth cool Dina: i lay down and open myself for you Edward: i touch the length of your leg gently tracing fingers along the inside of your thigh... Dina: im urgent today, missed you so much Edward: your cunt rises moans in anguish throbs...wet Dina: long to feel your body heavy on top of me Dina: to smell you, taste you, feel your breath upon me Edward: i bend and put my lips to you...trace my tongue between you taste the sweet wet pool that is your cunt Dina: oh, Edward Dina: i love you so much... Edward: you are wet now...my cock is so hard it is bursting Dina: and i stroke the curls in your head as you suck me Edward: i lean forward put my mouth on you and enter you Dina: showing you the way Edward: my head slips between the folds of you... Dina: with my hand Dina: our mouths locked our breath as one Dina: our hands touch and we burst on laughing breaking the scented silence Edward: entering you the mystery of you the cunt of you the fuck of you Edward: your back arches. . breast nipples hard against my chest...cock in you deep within you Dina: come Edward, don’t stop Edward: you pressing me grabing my cock with the muscles of you Dina: as the throbbing begins Dina: flying me to yet unknown heights Dina: flying us Dina: intertwined Edward: i am pressing my pelvis against you slowly pulling back...i slip my hands to your clitoris...fingers touch cock deep inside you wet hot Edward: intertwined Dina: huummm Dina: so good Edward: mouths attached...attached...your legs around mine your belly hard pressed against me...fuck me Dina fuck me Dina: oh my god Edward Dina: i can feel you so strongly Edward: your hands above your head stretched...our mouths in love my hands interlaced with yours stretching your body above your head my cock deep with in you...your legs around mine Dina: ai meu deus, como é bom isso... Edward: breathing heavy breathing panting...sweat wet...your cunt so wet the inside of my thights are wet Dina: yes Edward, panting , swaying Edward: come Dina come let me fuck you and love you feel you with my cock. . . my flesh my self Dina: my cunt is throbbing, pressing your cock non stop out of control, a life of their own Edward: fuck me Dina fuck me Dina: ai, Edward, im coming.... Edward: feel your cunt lock on my cock Edward: oh fuck me Dina fuck me. . i love you Edward: fuck me Dina fuck me come Dina come Edward: love love love kiss me fuck me come Dina: and it really happens you know, no cyber, no fantasy. fact. the world outside this chair/and/screen fades away Edward: shudder feel you lock against me arms locking around me legs rigid...tongue erect clitoris erect nipples errect me errect harrrrrrd within you... . Dina: only you and i now togeteher Edward: yes i am breathless Edward: made so by you... Dina: this bliss is addictive Edward: yes endorphins...like natural morphine...addictive Dina: i told our story to my trainer today at the gym Dina: people get surprised with how strong a passion can turn on internet Dina: (no details, of course) Edward: noooo of course not Edward: what did you tell them Dina: i told them how we met, i was expecting a message from someone else and then you slipped in Dina: and then our passion exploded in less than 1 day Dina: so he asked me if i saw your photo, if i liked, i said, well, he thinks im different Dina: my trainer smiled Dina: he knows im different Dina: in a very good sense Edward: i don’t think anyone has any idea how different you are Dina: of course not Dina: and anyway i didn’t tell him this was an encounter of poets Dina: of souls, of bodies, of essence Edward: one has to experience it...to hear the instrument...to play the instrument...to know the instrument and its place in the universe Edward: different like yo yo mah playing cello Dina: but sometimes i catch my self lifting 9 kilos with each hand, smiling at the thought that not everybody has a poet, a love poet... Edward: if you cannot play the instrument you do not know whether it is unusual or not Dina: and yo yo ma playing on the back Dina: you know how to play, eh? a virtuose Edward: yes i know how to play...to finger...to create half notes and atonal cords...to do arpegios...and to make the instrument sing Edward: to create all the sound and range the instrument possess Dina: some music. sweeter than the cosmic music of spheres Edward: to gentle stretch the strings...in single notes in cords let play the sound of the instrument itself till its last vibration Dina: you know i haven't sing for 5 or 6 years, not even at the shower Dina: and now i sing from morning to night Edward: touch the neck hold the body in my arms Dina: i sing all the time and keep remembering my repertoire Edward: smell the fine wood of its construction of its inlay of its detail Edward: of its sound hole and the smell that comes from within the body of the guitar Edward: cedar and rosewood and ebony Dina: how sweet the scent from your words, my love Dina: im making the room cold so that you can come and heat me in your arms Edward: if nothing else i can speak...with resonance... Edward: lets lay in bed together...are you naked Edward: nothing else... your words are music, touch and heat Dina: i feel your naked body next to mine Edward: then lay against me your long form stretched out against my naked form my cock still hard it lays against your hip still throbbing Dina: what an endless orgasm Edward: my arm under your head your curls against the muscle of my arm...your mouth against my neck Dina: sluuurp Edward: the sound of your breathing the smile on your lips Edward: i kiss your neck and suck your neck and sniff your neck Edward: my arm drapped across your breast...your nipples still hard...breasts erect... Dina: oh Edward its sooooo good to be here with you Edward: hand falling the rise of fall of breathing Dina: i want you endlessly Dina: never seem to get satisfied Edward: your legs against each other...feet against each other Dina: i hold you firmly Dina: embrace you Edward: i hold you tight against me Edward: my hand gently moves upon your belly and traces its form... Dina: there we go, same space, same mind Edward: we dance well together Dina: you bet Edward: love you love you love you Edward: i hug you hold your head tight against my neck my cheek Edward: your lips part and taste my skin Dina: i like to look at you Dina: as i kiss you all over Edward: you move across my chest and straddle me...legs on either side of me...you look down and smile at me...rise and take my cock and put it between your legs guiding me into you Edward: you slide down the length of my cock leaning down to kiss my face my chin my nipples...you rub your hand on my chest smiling... your eyes in mine Dina: i open myself for you, humid, pulsating Dina: as you enter me guided by my hand Edward: my hands hold your hips slip around your back press you on me Edward: grab your shoulders grab you to me Dina: kiss you Edward: mouth in mine mouth to mouth Dina: our chests touch as i ride you, my hard nipples against your hairy skin Dina: and we kiss, my tongue traces your teeth Edward: your knees press against my thighs...my cock erect hard within you Dina: touches your tongue in a dance Dina: and i dance on top of you, feeling you hard cock inside me Edward: my tongue enters your mouth surrounds and sucks your tongue into mine like snakes in dance...on ankles found Dina: i bite the tip of your tongue gently Edward: you arch your back stretch your arms above your head and smile Dina: as i ride you with my hand on your legs Edward: you are wet Dina so wet it drips on my pubic hairs...covering me...drips between my legs and wets the sheets Dina: we wet the sheets with the abundant bliss we create Edward: i put my hand around the back of you and split the cheeks of your ass...pulling you down tighter on my cock...harder and harder Edward: i grab you and turn you on your back Dina: and stronger, and quicker Dina: as i lay my legs apart to clear the way Edward: quickly holding you...your knees against the side of my ribs your toes pointed Dina: come, Edward, i feel my cunt dripping Edward: you smile my mouth on yours our breathing heavin your cunt wet thick its muscles griping me you bite my lip grab my back shoulders with fingers spread across it and i come in you deeply come in you body erect Edward: cock throbbing embraced in you Dina: tres bon, muito bom isso... Dina:i feel so relaxed... Dina: and happy Dina: and loving Edward: i put my hands in your clit and finger it slip with cock inside you and touch the folds of you the throbbing cunt Edward: and hold you embrace you love you Edward: on sheets we lay...in the cool of summer in rio on the 13th floor of Dina’s bed Dina: as my 12 year old nephew enters to chat with me... Edward: how translates muito bom isso? Dina: so good this is Edward: what? Dina: this, you, making love to you, your hair, your touch, your cock, your mind your soul Dina: you and i together Edward: i thought you were naked Dina: well, how do you know im not Edward: you are messing up my cyber image Dina: why Edward: well your nephew came in Dina: yes, do children have to knock on cyberspace? Dina: anyway, love is healthy, let him know Dina: thing is, yesterday my nephew was thrilled i was in msn and added me to his list, and i feel flattered Edward: cool... Dina: he is a beautiful young boy and plays drums verry well Dina: like an adult, you should see his energy Dina: his nickname is Sid Batera Dina: very funny, and creative Dina: but yet i didn’t tell him, sorry, auntie is making love... Edward: no ...i had thought he had physically walked into the room...in which case the image that i was making love to was dressed Dina: i figured that, but wasn’t sure Edward: it is odd it has become so real that i did not think of you as not in bed Dina: ah, this cyber space is somewhat cosmic Edward: how could you be and type simultaneously...how powerful this spell of consciousness we weave between ourselves Dina: but you know, i can feel you so strongly, and i envision the scenes you describe perfectly, and i get wet and i come, without touching, only feeling your very real presence Dina: im good in space imagery, as an architect Edward: our love is transcendent Edward: im good in words expressing consciousness Edward: can accurately follow mind... Dina: yes, dear, i long to see you, spend a lot of time figuring out how its gonna be, making plans, arriving to the airport, picking up the car, driving through road 4, Dina: arriving at the hotel, taking a long bath dreaming of you, combing my hair for you, dressing myself to let you undress me soon after Dina: i see you from afar and smile Dina: cause i already know you so well Edward: yes hello kiss Dina embrace...hand on breast kiss Dina bed clothes undress bed lay enter love oh Dina Dina: and i run into you and hug you, touch your face and kiss you Dina: let’s rush to a real bed Dina: and get naked at last Edward: ah kiss me Dina embrace me put your hands around my face and kiss my lips Edward: where did you go Dina: ahhh, sigh Dina: im here, dreaming Dina: suspended in time Dina: rushing for the near future, nearer an nearer Edward: what are you wearing...what is the color shape form of you...describe so that i can see you Dina: how i wish to be with you, to share with you, to talk to you and listen to your voice Dina: huuummm, dress, old bali dress, almost ripped Dina: red, and orange,with touches of green Dina: floating around my body Dina: i lost a bit of weight this week Edward: my voice is the male counterpoint of yours it is deep resonant and has an extraordinary ability to accurately speak language...theatrical...did a jazz radio show for a couple of minutes...did cantorial singing as a boy Dina: oh my, so we will sing in unisson Dina: dolce delizzia Dina: croce delizzia Edward: yes in contrapuntal improvization Dina: oh my god Edward: improvizatzia Dina: am i not that one that used to discuss about god now can’t stop invoking Him Dina: praying for him in thankfullness Edward: oh my god what Dina: oh my god, Edward, how can you be for real Edward: why Dina: being with you is such a delight and at every moment new Dina: full of surprises Dina: so ideal Edward: it only takes one Dina: lucky to have met Edward: probably inevitable Edward: what took so long Edward: both of us fools and got tired of being separated Dina: while you were writing i was wondering here, oh god, if you intended to give me such delight what took you so long Edward: so there is the proof of the pudding we occupy the same space the same mind...have the same experience perceive the world the same...love the same come the same... Dina: oh Edward Edward: we are partners...of the same species...a species of two Dina: when i meet you i want to be quiet for a while holding you Dina: in silent understanding Dina: feeling your energy without moving Dina: without speaking Dina: only feeling this bliss Edward: i want to hold you gently in my arms and feel you feel your energy Dina: what a bliss this is, two souls finding their way at last Edward: the softness of you Dina: how i long to feel at home with you Edward: yes Edward: lay in each others arms...music playing...sunlight Dina: you know, i saw the most amazing film yesterday, wish you were here with me Edward: what was it Dina: pure art, from the first photogram to the last Edward: mmmm Dina: it was the last Kitano's Zatoichi Dina:: lots of blood but sooo exquisitely beautiful Edward: je ne connais pas cet homme Dina: i wish you would look for him in dvd, a japanese director Edward: i love soooo exquisitely beautiful Dina: Takeshi Kitano, the most awesome movie director of our days Edward: i am so tired of crap Edward: praise from caesar Dina: caesar? Edward: there is an expression quintescential praise is praise from Caesar Dina: what crap are you tired of Edward: bad film bad painting bad design masquerading as art Edward: wasting my time with the inane Dina: can you watch dvd or too ascetic for that Edward: sure Edward: it is you that has the power to energize me Dina: you will love this film Dina: its about a blind samurai on 19th century Edward: give me reason to set my self in motion Dina: the samurai is kitano himself Edward: ah kisunguru Edward: i think i saw the directorial interview Dina: but the whole film is so different, the camera, the frame, the colors, the visual ideas, no crap Edward: yes i love art Dina: we will share art a lot Edward: kind of like notre dame cathedral Dina: music, movie Edward: yes a life of art Dina: i live art Edward: i love love...have had to take nature as my mistress Edward: love without barrier...i have so much energy that it tires me keeping it to myself Dina: nature is fine, i love nature, human nature even better Dina: i could say the same about energy Dina: and you know, im so full of energy right now Edward: i am as power full as you are in your blessing to the guru...and would blow it through you Edward: yes i have heard your energy and i am pleased...te me plait Dina: energy builds up and love builds up energy Dina: and more energy builds Edward: oh... Dina: in an ascendant vortex Edward: we are catalytic to one another Dina: you know i always dreamed of finding my other part Dina: in all situations i said, if im here Dina: why not him Edward: i am pleased to be with you Dina: and i was in different situations Edward: why not who Dina: sometimes absurd ones, like jdate Dina: what are you talking about Dina: huumm,let me go back a bit, my nephew is disturbing me Edward: lonely huh Edward: i had ian and charles Dina: what i was saying was Dina: i go through so many different paths Edward: that? Dina: ugh, im confused Dina: can’t explain this to you Edward: so? Edward: speak Edward: out with it Dina: but what i feel is that we are the same Dina: when im with you i am me, not the woman others think i am, they have no idea Dina: and the more we stay together more the real me takes over Dina: and she is almost in full power now Dina: i have been massacred in many situations Dina: deeply criticized Dina: haven’t you noticed that i get defensive sometimes Dina: its an old habit Dina: but im letting you undress my fear, Dina: tear it from my skin Edward: we are Dina...we exist in each other completely...i don’t know why...but i know the value of you...i know what is art ...i have a great eye Dina: revealing my true self Edward: Dina i respect you and honor you... you are art. Dina: fuck respect Dina: i don’t know why I don’t like this word Dina:: sounds distant Edward: i am a critic Dina and there is nothing to criticize...respect means among other things to have perceived and valued what was perceived Dina: establishing boundaries Dina: this is recognition Edward: it is descriptive...of critical thought...like i respect yo yo ma...as an intellect artist man... Edward: but my respect for you has become love Edward: an embracing of your being...as Thou Dina: so you see, respect is out of question in our case Dina: i want you to love me Dina: to see me fully Dina: thats why i show myself off to you Edward: that is what is happening...this is what love is Edward: i don’t consider you critical Dina: like a peacock opening the tail (pretend im not a female) Dina: oh, darling, but i am Dina: quite sharp Dina: and selective Edward: i was thinking of you opening your chakras and the halo and aura emanating from you in the quintessential manifestation of the feminine principal Edward: yes i know you are critical so am i and i don’t give a fuck you are either perfectly cut or you are not Dina: yeah, nice imagery, better than a gris female peacock Dina: but we are perfectly cut for each other Dina: we are both beautiful Dina: and strong Dina: and special Edward: yes we are Edward: what a match Edward: so strong...i blow people away Dina: how do you do this Dina: you are the only woman that has been able to stand with me Dina: ahhhh, you can’t even gueeess how i loved to hear this Dina: i remember you fearing to be too strong for me Dina: and i faced you Dina: sometimes i fell we are 2 sacred warriors in battle Dina: a honorable, spiritual, loving battle Dina: summoning energies and creating bliss to the universe Edward: you are similar...people are incapable of absorbing or perceiving the strength of you and are threatened by your strength Dina: yeah, you are right Dina: but i think they are threatened by their own narrowness Edward: you summon me...that you want me gives me bliss...i am not perceived...the world is fucking blind. . Dina: for i am open and loving and willing to share Edward: yes that what threatens them the fear of the image of themselves Dina: how is it possible you are not perceived Dina: because you show yourself pretty well Dina: well, in a way im not perceived either Edward: you have the eyes to perceive Edward: the intellect the art the mysticism the scars of consciousness to perceive Dina: we cancelled limbo in our both lives Edward: yeh...i am not in limbo with you...i am in motion...your voice is a dimension that i love without hesitation...i love you without hesitation Dina: so do i Dina: i don’t doubt Dina: I don’t fear Edward: it is rare to find a woman that can follow me Dina: i follow you Edward: so completely so effortlessly Dina: i add to you Dina: i walk with you Dina: side by side Dina: and its full time thrilling Edward: animus and anima Dina: yes, animated Edward: i love the sound of your voice...speak to me again...soon...i will talk to you tomorrow...love you Dina Dina: bye dear, will miss you... Edward: animus and anima are the male and female principals in jungian psychoanalysis Dina: i knoooowwww Dina: was kidding you Edward: ooookaaaay... Dina: are you living or not Dina: leaving i mean Dina: Edward, are you still there Dina: are we still connected Edward: i though you were gone Dina: so did i Dina: so, do you have to go Dina: when i was clearing the screen it was still alive with you Edward: i don’t have to do anything Dina: i could be here all day Dina: so why don’t we stay Edward: yes and i could be between your skirt all day Edward: im getting hard already Edward: just your words effect me Dina: last night i was laying in bed and i pictured your head on my tigh Dina: me, stroking you hair as you layed down quietly Dina: silently listening to the hush of night Dina: so intimate Dina: and sweet Dina: pssstt Edward: it is hard for me to picture you i have come to look at the picture of the one on your back on the ball...i look at your legs and try to imagine you...your hands it is so difficult to ascertain you...then i read your words. ..of how you came back from the theater and read my poem Edward: what Dina: i wish you didn’t look at those pictures Dina: i wish you could wait and see me live Edward: give me something else Edward: i can... Edward: it was you talking about last night Dina: and meanwhile look at me, envision me with the eyes of spirit Edward: yes and of body and voice Edward: and art Edward: that’s what i do concerning you Dina: because when you meet me you will be pleased Edward: oh Dina: do you know why i know Edward: the truth of me is pleased with the truth of you Edward: no i have no idea Dina: because i know what your aestethic standards are Dina: i mean body Dina: and all Edward: yes Dina: and style Dina:: and body language Dina: and looks Dina: and hair and face and clothes Edward: and nudity Dina: (tatoos and all) Dina:: i know you will appreciate me, so don’t you waste time with those lousy pictures you don’t love Edward: and labia and the left rose of sharon Edward: i love your voice Dina: you know, Edward, i never had the courage to describe myself like i do to you Dina: nor talk about sex Dina: i never talked about sex Dina: or talked sex Dina: but than i had to and it was a discovery Edward: it is without flaw . .like mountain climbing...from piton to piton Edward: nor have i Dina...you are a first... Edward: it was easy to make love to you Edward: without hesitation without thought Dina: i never shared desires or sexual needs with anyone Dina: i could share the act Dina: but not opening like this Edward: isn’t it lovely... Edward: no this is what intimacy is. . Dina: so its so thrilling you know me like this Edward: it is complete on every level Dina: like anyone before you Dina: so you know what i like Dina: you know how to please me and how i love to be pleased Dina: you know my body like anyone before you Edward: no i would be surprised if anyone could ever know you as i know you... Edward: it is without thought Dina... Edward: it is touch and instinct Dina: yes, how can you open up like this to let another in Edward: the greatest intimacy is openness Dina: i feel you completely inside me, cock mind soul and all Edward: trust...it is a leap of faith...fearlessness Dina: i have been thinking about trust Dina: i trust you so completely Edward: that is what love is Edward: to trust another with the self Edward: to be completely vulnerable naked before another Dina: even if cyber space is sometimes a mined land (is this right) Dina: but the energy i feel coming from you is so strong, i really feel it rushing thorugh my veins and meridians Edward: no Dina my ability to hear and discern truth is without flaw i can hear and see what is there to be seen and heard Edward: you are without flaw...purely and innocently yourself Dina: yes dear, because i open up for you no barriers Dina: i feel you are my other half Edward: i feel you feel me Dina: you sense me Dina: you know me Edward: if you could hear me you would hear how strong i am...equal to you Dina: i wish i could Edward: yes i know you love you Dina: i will soon, though Edward: i am mad with love Edward: are you crying Dina: what the purpose of lieing if you know me so intimately Edward: where are you Dina: well, i don’t lie anyway, never did Dina: i was trying to figure out how do you spell lieing, lying Edward: what are you talking about... Edward: lying... Edward: then there is laying Dina: you know when i was a kid my mother used to tell me i should lie now and then Edward:: then there’s getting laid Dina: hush, Edward, let me finish, stop teasing me Dina: we have something here called “mentira carioca“, those are small, daily lies Dina: but i never did Dina: not even the smallest Dina: most innocent lie Dina: and if we can read each others minds what's the purpose of lying anyway Dina: laying Dina: with you Dina: hornier than ever Edward: i am so pure with you Dina...there is not the trace of shadow that is what the image of shared light is Edward: we flow between each other at the speed of consciousness Dina: you know when you first wrote about shared light, shared consciousness Dina: the speed that light travels Dina: i printed it and put on the magnetic board in front of me Dina: and part of other messages as well Dina: and rodin's kiss Dina: me kissing you passionately siting on your lap Dina: on your knees Dina: your hand on my thigh Dina: your right hand Dina: my hands around your neck Dina: so passionate to melt stone Edward: lovely love this Dina Dina: so this is your picture Dina: every morning by my side Edward: it is of you by you i speak...it is your being that i am reacting to...it is all without thought...all dance ...all improvisation Edward: the thought of you Edward: the poetry of you Dina: the mouth, south, east and center of you Edward: it is you Edward: the mirror of you Dina: a perfect mirror of you Dina: i see me in you Dina: i see you seeing me Dina: exquisitely Dina: i love to see myself through you Edward: you are exquisite Edward: you please me so fairly so warmly Dina: i am glad to be with you Edward: you are... hummm Dina: the construction better than the project Dina: hmmm what? Dina: the cake better than eggs + flour Dina: huummmm, deliciously lovely mine Edward: the sum greater than its parts Dina: much greater dear Edward: yes deliciously loovely your cake Edward: let me have your cake and eat you to Edward: yes wonder cake the more you eat the more you have to devour Edward: there is no end to your cake Dina: the cake is baking itself on the heat of love Edward: how sweet the taste Edward: the promise of it Edward: the form of it Dina: you know im not afraid to create for you, for im certain after that there will be more, flowing creativity endlessly Edward: what form you art thou art eve Dina: after this poem a thousand others Dina: after this bliss Dina: a thousand nights sharing love Edward: life is a continuity...we speak it Dina: after this song a million notes Edward: we dance to it make love to it sleep to it Edward: yes there is no end to creation Dina: the more you use the more you have Edward: spread your legs and let me speak Dina: i will let you touch me Dina: with this slight touch of yours Edward: yes let me touch you me my hands my finger tip feel me tremble as i touch you Dina: feel my soft skin under your fingers Edward: lightly trace the soft white skin of you Dina: i lay down and let you play with me, in me Edward: let me put my fingers in you Dina: i can feel your touch inside me Edward: blood fills my cock Dina: waking me Dina: making me fluid Edward: let me touch the walls of you measuring you making you wet Edward: so wet a cunt it feels like fluid Dina: flowing Dina: as your fingers dive Dina: a thick river of wetness Edward: let me move my fingers throught your cunt to its depths feel your cervix feel the wet muscular sides of your vagine Dina: getting ready for your cock Dina: Edward, how can you do this Edward: two fingers three fingers my cock so hard Dina i want to come in you Dina: feels so nice Dina: i nearly lost myself in you Dina: disconnected my mind Edward: Dina let me put my cock in you Edward: thick it fills the walls of you Edward: feel you grab me Dina: come Edward Dina: hold me Dina: i feel your cock entering me Dina: slowly Dina: sweetly Edward: breath panting hot Dina: carefully Dina: passionately Dina: as i hold you, arms around your neck Edward: then feeling your butt Edward: let me slip my hands under your butt Edward: tracing the strenght of your muscles Edward: spread your cheeks and pull you close to me Edward: your wetness dripping from my cock Dina: rivers of love Dina: where rivers meet Edward: the moist smell of you Dina: flowing to the sea of sheer delight Edward: the curls of your pubic hair wet glistening Dina: smell, smooth, sweet scent of love Edward: your labia major and minor clit all swollen and hot Dina: how sweet and strong the smell arising from your groin Edward: surrounding me locking me in you Dina: yes Edward Dina: you inside me Edward: your fluid flows on your legs and stomach and breasts...we are wet with you Dina: slippery Edward:: speak to me in my ear kiss me whisper Dina: emotion too strong to type Dina: i whisper love songs love tones licking lovingly the tiny hair in your ear Edward: let me fill you thick strong veined let me come in you hot thick fluid sticky Dina: don’t come yet Edward Dina: stay in me Edward: the energy rises in bumps along my arms... Dina: swaying Dina: in and out Edward: kiss me kiss my check my ear nibble causing me to grow harder stronger Dina: ai, Edward Edward: drive me mad Dina: i can feel you thick and veined Edward: make my breath come hot and panting Dina: as you drive me mad also Dina: as i keep throbbing all around you Edward: let my fingers trace all the parts of your body Edward: growing Edward: swelling Edward: throb throb Dina: tracing my nail on your back Dina: moaning Edward: throb growing thicker and stronger swelling Dina: wailing loudly Edward: oh fuck me Dina fuck me tell me you love me Dina: i want to love you in the wilderness to yell, cry, as much as i feel Edward: oh Dina i love you hold your face with my lips Dina: loudly Dina: shouting Dina: oh, Edward, come, Edward Edward: scratch me bite me Edward: suck me Edward: let me come in you come come come fill you with me Dina: i sluuuurrp Dina: you Edward: come Dina come...let me fuck you Dina: come my love Edward:Dina wet i come over and over again Dina: let me feel drowning myself in you sperm Dina: dissolving in your arms Dina: in your kiss Dina: as we melt in one Edward: spasms move along my cock from the base of my groin...over and over again pumping sperm into you Dina: ai, Edward Edward: fill you with me Dina: my love, mon amour, meu amor, amor da minha vida, love of my life Edward: lay with me Dina in embrace my cock pulsating to the love of you Dina: this life and others Edward: tremble in my arms wet hot Dina: ahhhh, sigh Dina: we have been making love for three hours Dina: and i could have more Dina: sharing Dina: loving Dina: embracing Edward: my cock is so hard Edward: kiss me Dina: resting a bit as energy builds up Dina: and as we kiss we change thoughts Dina: poetry Dina: art Edward: our love is art...dance Edward: ballet Dina: im in awe Edward: of what Dina: mistified Dina: by you Dina: ugh, wrong word, i didn’t mean terrified, but mistified Dina: surprised and upraised Dina: in wonder Edward: let me put my fingers in you taste you smell you Edward: wonder at you Dina: with the endless rainbow coming out of you Edward: and from between your legs the spring of life Dina: how can one be so much in love Dina: the essential spring Edward: chemistry Dina: so surrendered Edward: the chemistry of consciousness Dina: ai ai Edward, deep sigh Dina: bliss Edward: let us lay in sleep together Dina: why did i receive an email Edward: the soft form of you against me the breast so sweet against me Dina: i want you to hold me thight Edward: shall i say good bye? Dina: Edward, i don’t know Dina: i wish i could stay here with you endlessly Edward: yes i will hold you tight crush you against me take the breath out of you Dina: but at some point i get tired of typing Edward: come lay with me sleep with me let us spend the night together...and i will wake to you tomorrow love Edward Dina: ok, my love... love you so much Dina: will wait for you Dina: will dream of you

Tuesday dec 07

Dec 07 while you were sleeping

...i took a long bike ride with you, against the morning breeze, at seashore in St Aug. 2 splendid, passionate, fit, ageless beings blessed by the sun reflecting in their silvery curls... wow. quantum time. quantum love. being in 2 places at the same time, ubiquitous. particle and wave, strings of energy swirling, vibrating in cyberspace

Edward: i have am arrived Dina: hello, my dear Edward: my dear Edward: so what's new Edward: lovely notes to wake my day Dina: can say the same Edward: you become brighter with each e mail Dina: you know i've got 6 times the same message, so i was thriled with 7 emails this morning Dina: you see, life is becoming brighter Edward: really...what a system Dina: you know, i have things to say to you all day, so i keep collecting them when im not with you Edward: yes it is like having the sun inside with you Dina: so i wanted to tell you something funny about Pina Edward: and how kind she is...even sings...not such light... infinite lovely light Dina: i had this bar Edward: parle a moi Edward: yes and Dina: where i used to show videos, a minute, i have to answer phone Dina: so, i had this Pina Bausch video, a tall guy, with huge hands, showing the lyrics from "the man i love" in deaf language, with a crooked voice on back singing the song Dina: so all my waiters learned to sing “The Man I Love” with sign language, and i told Pina this Dina: its so beautiful, would like to show you, but i lost the video, domage,... Edward: that is very funny...a boit de nuit with singing sign languaging waiters Dina: this bar was funny, really, until one night in a halloween party, the neighbors complained and the police came and took my audio syystem! Dina: but it was very avant garde Edward: facists Edward: i would expect nothing else Dina: with theater plays with the actors walking around the house... and all this in 86 Edward: that sounds great...i was in waikiki in 86 Dina: but don’t get worried, one day, almost a year later, i was at home, then the police was at my door (the door man was happy to see the police there, since he thought i was trouble) Dina: but then the policemen came to give me the stereo BACK!!!!! Edward: good karma Dina: so i sold it, it was a lousy stereo, and bought a bottle of champagne Dina: i still drank at that time Edward: a votre sainte Dina: trouble today, party tomorrow Dina: funny stories, i've got many Edward: is that an expression trouble today...or is that a statement of fact Dina: not today, then... expression Dina: no trouble today at all as im with you Edward: how did it go with your mother yesterday... Edward: it pleases me to be with you Dina: uhhh, bad. i have to go to the bank this morning Dina: so i left her a note, with this article on Pina, and the pill Dina: so she didn't take the pill. when i arrived, things were black down here Dina: big trouble to make her have her medicine, and you know, half an hour after the pill things always get smooth Edward: grind it up in some juice... more specifically how did the helper work out yesterday Dina: well, it was the cleaning woman, not a helper per se, but the one who will be here when im away, so i gave her a premiere Edward: how was it that you knew the words to corcovado with such elegance Dina: well, its an old song, everybody knows Dina: tom jobim, i think Edward: pas moi Dina: well you are gringo, dear Edward: gringo... Dina: gringo, foreigner in spanish, don’t you speak a bit spanish, being in florida and all Dina: so how did you like the bike ride Edward: i know what gringo is...it is not a term of endearment in los angeles Edward: lovely i enjoyed riding with you Dina: yeah, you're right, i was teasing you Dina: multiple time and space string theory et al Dina: Edward, i want to tell you something Edward: yeh i know you are teasing me Edward: it is so odd to be thought of as a foreigner Dina: i solved a big problem today Dina: back: no dear, the foreigner will be me, no? Dina: you will be home Edward: but i don’t feel like a foreigner at all Edward: je suis un homme de terre...no division Dina: its just a subject to talk about Dina: so back to the problem i solved Dina: i found a partner for my web business Edward: i know just sharing a thought... Edward: mazel tov Dina: when im gone.... (smile) Dina: i invited my shiatsu therapist and he was thrilled Dina: because i can’t let go of my work of so many years Edward: thrillllled Dina: and my business is important for me it must go forward Edward: bien sur Dina: so he will be here as a brazilian distributer Dina: when im living somewhere else Edward: you had mentioned the shiatsu guy before Dina: yes, because we are already in collaboration, he is offering sessions to apply my jewelry if the client so wishes Dina: and we are forming a net of therapists around brazil and he will be training them Dina: so he is my "therapeutic advisor" Dina: and now partner Edward: it sounds multi dimensionally dynamic Dina: well, it is, must be Edward: yes love Dina: and now we have a business to run and the world to achieve, from usa it will be easier Edward: plans Dina: nice business though, time to think, to dream, to love, to enjoy Dina: and work a little Edward: big P L A N S Dina: why not, the dream is prior to reality, no? Dina: no dream no direction Dina: but everything is flowing veeeery smothly Dina: open paths Dina: its your laser Dina: opening them for me to pass Edward: no dream no plan Dina: so you see, if we so decide, im ready to go in maximum 2 months Edward: we pass through each other so easily Dina: yes the baby is coming Dina: normal, easy delivery Edward: yes healthy child Dina: our first Dina: of many Edward: yes Dina: love children Edward: i know Dina: so let’s start making them, no? Edward: yes Edward: we have one in process maintenant Dina: which one now Edward: this new love of ours Dina: yes, new and yet so old Dina: and fresh each day Edward: yes outside of time Edward: dynamic Edward: healthily alive Dina: and how strong, making me shiver Edward: Dina you bring joy to my life Dina: don’t worry if you think im rushing Edward: life to my life Dina: but my head is like this, what can i do, me being the one and only responsible Edward: i am not worried Dina: for my own dreams Edward: we share dream Edward: you are so sane Edward: it is delightful to see a healthy human being Dina: so i was thinking, in a way, we both had this death wish (symbolic) when we met, and we defeated it Dina: one more shamanic death and ressurection Dina: souls retrieved Dina: we have already died to each other Edward: didn’t get sense Dina: surrendered ourselves to each other Dina: completely without reserve Dina: oh yes, petite morte, aka orgasm Edward: your orgasm yes i would like to see that Dina: moment, be back in a minute Dina: had to pee, the body is for real and urgent Dina: what do you mean will like to see, you will see so much to get bored with it Dina: of my orgasm, i mean Edward: i am ever fascinated by your orgasm Edward: by orgasm Dina: by ours, coming together Edward: the orgiastic beatific...yes ours Dina: so.... what? thrilling? awesome? fantastic? splendorous? Dina: no words enough for this Edward: i like splendorous Edward: shudddder Dina: yes, fireworks wow, aurora borealis Edward: so my love come and sit into my lap and let me hold you in embrace Edward: put my arms around you and feel the warmth of your being Dina: yes, dear im there already since the moment you came in Edward: really Dina: im already sighing Dina: ai ai Dina: big sigh Edward: let me hold you slowly waking you Dina: wish i was asleep, no part of me asleep Dina: head and hurt and cunt and all Dina: heart Edward: caress your back with open hand gentle fingers Dina: tell me Edward, how big are your hands Edward: have you stir on me warm to me Dina: describe them Edward: i have nice hands long fingers intelligent hands Dina: oh my gods even the man's hands are inteligent Dina: so maybe i got inteligent feet Edward: touch is everything Dina: you are right Dina: so touch me Edward: i know you have an intelligent cunt Dina: with your wise hands Dina: intelligent? what do you mean, dumb, only one thought Dina: obsessive, you mean Dina: (kidding) Edward: let me touch your right breast as my left hand is my most cunning Edward: let it unbotton your shirt Dina: why left Edward: and part the folds to reveal this lovely little breast revealed in sunlight Edward: im ambidextrous...my left hand has greatest strength... Dina: my nipples raise easily to your touch blossoming Edward: but my right hand can play extraordinarily complex arpegios on guitar Dina: ambidextrous are you terrestrial at all Dina: or a fallen god from olympia Edward: pink and full surrounded by colour Edward: just a man Dina: oh, no wrong term just Edward: your breast is round heavy and pendular i love the arc of it Dina: i mean all mankind should be like you, but many got lost Edward: ok evolved adult human male Edward: sane Dina: with a smart hand holding my right breast, awaking my nipples Edward: the weight of it as i touch it move it slightly play with your nipple with my finger tips Dina: i close my eyes to feel delight Edward: lightly trace the erect nipple circle its curvature Dina: to delight from you a dream awake Edward: touch the center of it trace the crater of it Dina: go on, dear... Edward: feel the bumps of it Edward: trace the line of arc where it meets your chest Edward: you make feel the smoothness of it Edward: lightly touch the sides of it then squeeze it in my hand Edward: awaking deeper consciousness Edward: no rush Edward: flatten my hand out atop it lightly touching my palm across your erect nipple Dina: my eyes closed in delight can’t type Edward: part your blouse with the back of my hand and lightly bend and kiss your nipple with my lips Edward: part my lips and slip your hard nipple in my mouth Dina: gostoso.... (tasty, nice, delightful) Edward: my tongue on its tip wettiing it Dina: while i stroke you hair gently Dina: playing with curls Dina: and holding you near me Edward: trace the sides of the hard nipple touch the tip of my wet tongue around lightly around the whole of the nipple...pink erect hard Edward: put your nipple in my mouth and suck it Dina: yes, heavens openning Edward: and with my right arm and hand hold you in warm embrace Edward: press your back against my face your breast and all against my face and nose and mouth and all Dina: i wouldn’t say a word if it wasn’t for cyber... Dina: just delighting from you in silence Edward:and your left breast sister to the right must be kissed Dina: yes, please.... Edward: and with palm on right the tips of my fingers touch the tip of your left breasts erect nipple Edward: and my mouth leans to kiss it. Edward: tease it put my lips around it and taste it Edward: teeth testing its tip its form Dina: ai, Edward Dina: mon amour Edward: toungue laying across its surface Edward: your breath rising and falling Dina: yes, sighing loudly Edward: these orbs celestial moon white pink breathingly alive Dina: profoundly Edward: smelling them wet with my mouth against the white and pink of your white skin Edward: stop and raise my mouth and kiss you Edward: feel your tongue enter my mouth Edward: sweet wet tasting mouth Dina: yes, i touch you tongue with mine Edward: soft intelligence Edward: kiss speak to me with lips Edward: feeling the strenght in your teeth Edward: and slow darting tongue Edward: i communicate with kisses Edward: so sensible idiom Edward: biting lightly your lips with teeth Edward: hand still and breasts tips touch tips Edward: my arms around yor neck filled with sweet zen passion Edward: wet your tongue and taste you Edward: your breathing is heavy panting Dina: nice taste, sweet taste my mouth has Dina: hot Edward: your chest rising and falling beneath my hand Edward: my hand slides from your breasts between them Dina: a long, calm kiss though passionate Edward: along the curve of your white belly Edward: mouth in mouth Edward: sweet in sweet Edward: tongue in tongue Dina: and my venus mound can sense you coming Edward: teeth in teeth Dina: and yearns for you Edward: my hand slowly moves along the edge of venus'mound Edward: your legs part Dina: Edward, are you free with time? Edward: my fingers trace the soft silky curls of your pubis Edward: lightly tracing home Dina: can you wait for me 10 min before we go on Edward: yes why Dina: hurts to live you now Edward: yes of course Dina: the guy from tourist agency must change a check, so i have to talk to him Dina: 10 min maximum Dina: will you wait on line Edward: im waiting Edward: yes Dina: ok, be right back Dina: im back dear, sorry to interrupt you like that, Dina: my nipples still hard as i talk to the clerk Dina: Edward! hei, Edward... Edward: still hard come and sit in my lap again Edward: let me put my hand throught the curls of your lovely venus mound Edward: teasing them toying them Dina: i was reading to see where we were... Dina: your hand in my venus, your mars in my venus... Dina: venus and mars in joy united... Edward: yes let mars unite with venus Edward: and lit the sky Dina: our private sky as your hand touches me sweetly Edward: so lightly so sweetly touches that bud Edward: erect breathing wet Dina: im so wet already, pulsating under your hand Edward: the tips of my fingers of my left hand so lightly stroke the surface of it Edward: so lightly touch it Edward: the open heel of my palm lightly brushes your labia Dina: ai deus, so nice, Edward Edward: presses against it Edward: the soft white skin of my palm against the white wet labia Dina: i close my eyes and surrender to you completely, opening widely up Dina: red, very red, in heat Edward: moving opening my palm slips between the folds Edward: my fingers draw a trace down the crack Edward: leaving snail trails of wet Edward: my fingers part you and the tips of them enter the full length of you Edward: they sink with in you four in a line in a row trace the depth and breadth and wetness of you Dina: ah, im so wet Edward Dina: and swollen Edward: you spread your legs reavealing the open throbing wetness of you Edward: i unzip my pants Dina: yes throbbing Edward: and slip my hard erect cock to see you Dina: your strong thick veined cock Edward: i move your right leg over and from beneath guide my cock between your legs and into you while you are sitting on me Dina: take your clothes off dear and come to me naked in body and soul Edward: let us take your clothes off...lay naked on the bed...you on your back smiling between your breasts as i move to the bed my cock so hard Edward: i move above you, you take my cock in your fngers and guide me into you...so slowly so wet Edward: you are hot around me Dina: yes, hot surrounding you. feeling your cock get in Edward: i hold my self above you and slowly lower myself into you Edward: in you Dina deep fully thickly throbingly in you Dina: ai, delicious Edward: you put your hands around my ass and i lower the weight of my body onto your breasts Edward: i feel your weight so strong and firm yet gentle on top of me Edward: still erect my chest presses against you...my hands intertwined over your head your face facing mine Edward: my lips lock yours we kiss long and wet and hard Edward: my cock locked in you Edward: your cunt dripping wet hot swollen around me Dina: pressing your cock Edward: shall i come Dina Dina: kissing you tongue in tongue Dina: oh no, not yet dear Edward: hold me deep within you Edward: swallowing me Edward: wet gulping sucking air Edward: sucking cock Edward: sucking cunt Edward: in and out gently Dina: yes Edward: just the tip remains within the edge of it held by the lips of you Edward: and then slowly slowly down its veined shaft till it is gone like some ancient magic trick Edward: and we are locked as one Edward: you are wet Edward: soaking between your legs you are wet Edward: wet everywhere Dina: oh Edward, I feel you inside me completely Dina: im sowet Dina: ok Edward let’s come now Edward: i take my hands and feel the inside of your thighs they are soaking wet Edward: i enter you in one trembling thrust you tighten your body your lips your breath and come screaming come oh god oh god Edward Edward: deep within you you grab me go rigid wrap your legs and arms around me kiss me Edward: throb your cunt Edward: hold me Dina: ai Edward im trembling all over Edward: deep within you Edward: i smell the wet of you everywhere Edward: electric Edward: breath cunt cock smell Edward: smile love arms embraced Edward: bodies held together...cunt locked on orgasmically Edward: cock yours Edward: deep within you yours Edward: hold you trembling in my arms Dina: sorry to have left you dear, for i was reealy coming... Dina: couldn’t help it... Edward: you are so extraordinary today Edward: everyday new Dina: i can barely type Edward: taste the smell of me coming Edward: yes Dina come Dina: Edward, i feel so daring doing this Edward: the wet smell of you dripping coming Edward: cyber love Edward: avant garde Dina: nothing cyber around here Dina: for me you are more than real Dina: ultra real Dina: overreal Dina: extrareal Edward: no i wish i could taste you...put my mouth in your cunt and taste the wet of come in you Edward: smell the extraordinariness of you Dina: yes dear, then tell me how it feels Edward: run my tongue up you Edward: you are wet ...salty...hot Edward: there is a clean smell to you Edward: i love to pull you aside and see the forms with in you touch the openings within openings curtain behind curtain Edward: like my astrological kites within kites Dina: a mistery room, hidden in veils now widely revealed to you Dina: so then you did see the beautiful kites Edward: open pink salon of retreat Edward: you are beautiful in all languages Edward: one is a poet or one is not Dina: and what a bliss to have a private poet Dina: in my room Dina: in my body Dina: in my mouth Edward: yes what bliss you are to me Dina: in my heart in my cunt Edward: to speak and be understood without explaination Dina: is cunt a dirty word? for me its so cute Dina: vagina is so solemnly ugly Edward: dirty Edward: cunt is literary Dina: yes, you know Edward, i feel exactly the same way with you Dina: completely understood and understanding Dina: are you sure about literary, cause you know, being a foreigner i have to trust you, you taught me this word Dina: and the true meaning of it Dina: in all levels Edward: in erotic literature the word cunt has no replacement all the otherwords becoming corny...it literally means furrow it is an saxon word...and the image of cunt and cock is certainly shakesperean Edward: in contemporary parlence in america if you call some one a cunt it is the worst thing you can call a woman...it is a powerful word... Dina: well, nice... resounding Edward: in england the word cunt means a stupid woman...an ass a woman that is nothing but a problem Dina: so are we contemporary here or shakesperean there Dina: and if we were to publish Dina: for example Edward: but in erotic literature there is no other word to express the fundamental nature of the conjugal relationship of seeding of furrow...it is rural imagery Edward: basic, ancestral Edward: it would be erotic...it would be considered high eroticism...linguistically lovely...contemporary...real ...without contrivance or artifice Dina: fine, then, a beautiful word, why use it to express bad thinking, Edward: no not basic...idyllic...of the woods of the field...innocent...out of the corruption of mechanistic predeterminism Dina: so strong and unique sound to a word Dina: two words i mean, cunt and cock Dina: cock in cunt Edward: oh i see what you mean Edward: so we are out of any predeterminism Edward: most anglo saxon words are germanic in nature...when france conquered england in 1066 the language of power was french and the language of power conquered the native language Dina: but where is french in eng lang Edward: and anglo and saxon words were forgotten associated with the common Dina: and recovered later? Edward: yes we are trying to find a point in a river you cannot...though quantum physics is more of what we are about 21st century physics...mechanistic predeterminism is the physics of the 19th and 20th centuries Edward: but in 21st reality is what you can observe with your senses, sensitivity Edward: the history of the english language is interesting...if you read Chaucer he speaks with a palate of french angle saxon and jute...cunt and cock are most certainly found in Canterbury Tales Dina: i will check some day Dina: to see how its used Dina: before us Edward: the philosophy of senses is an idyllic philosophy...it is transcendent to the mind...the 17th through the 20th were centuries in love with science with knowing...of cities and mechanics of automobiles and factories...of the slavery of the soul of man by the mind of man Dina: what a talk when we started with cunt and cock Edward: the philosophies of sense are a reaction to the end of mechanistic predeterminism...it is a dead pursuite Edward: yes you wanted to know if it was a "bad" word... Edward: it is just a word like a color Edward: its meaning is given to it by the witness Edward: yes but in a way when quantum comes in the wole thing gets personal soulfull and somewhat magic again Dina: yes that is what i said Dina: for reality is far beyond ordinary senses Dina: it would have to include it also Dina: so newton was narrow minded according to our standards Dina: and maybe even einstein to the future of thinking, knowing Edward: yes he actually thought you could know everything Edward: ain chadash tachat a shemish Dina: doesn’t mean we have already seen all Edward: only guess it Edward: knowing is possible Edward: like blinds on the verge of precipice Dina: yes, but then you have to transcend, evolve Dina: forget about limits and dogma Edward: yes let us speak of coming of orgasm of cunt and cock of babies of love Edward: of rebirth of life Edward: of art of sanity Dina: of music of hope Edward: of joy of god of bliss Edward: of the eternal sky the eternal night the eternal Dina: of us, in resume Dina: god meeting goddess Edward: let us leave the limits of linear speach and speak of us Edward: yes us in resume Edward: of Toi et Moi Dina: who typed first, eh? Dina: ani ve atah neshane et haolam Edward: yes Dina Edward: neshane? Dina: me and you will change the world? Edward: yes Dina: maybe im not right, its the lyrics of a music i like Dina: we are very poerful together Dina: powerful Dina: the w jumped in power Dina: full of power in itself Dina: enough to get a life of its own Dina: laugh Edward: there is an extraordianry rare energy to us Edward: that’s what love is meant to be, altough this rare Dina: but I’ve never experienced until now here with you, only slight hints Dina: hors d'ouevre to make me hungry Edward: i have wakened Dina and she is hungry Dina: is there a word in english for saliva, a verb, make saliva? in port salivar Edward: salivate Dina: hungry for you, dear, or else anorexic Edward: i hunger for you Dina: so i meant hors d’ouevre to make me salivate Dina: like cybersex x roomsex Edward: yes how wet you become Dina: cyber love Dina: my cunt is counting the days to your cock Dina: and cyberswallowing in the meantime Edward: what is the word in portugese Dina: cyber swallowing you what word Edward: cunt cock Dina: uhhh, no beautiful terms, in poetry i once used the word pau for cock Dina: odd isn’t it Dina: ser mulher, ter utero e não ter pau Edward: everything has to be masked Dina: now for cunt, no beautiful word, i couldn’t write erotic poetry in port Dina: that’s what i told you before, making love in english is so freeing Edward: we are speaking with the passion of shakesperean england Edward: the language the rhythm Dina: for cunt you could say xoxota that sounds terrible and very rude to my liking Edward: you are always free...im sure in touch your hands speak for words Dina: yes rhythm is essential, no? the taste of our prose, poetical prose is due to rhythm even when we are coming Dina: and fucking Edward: english is not a romance language...though influenced by it Edward: fucking is an anglo saxon word that means planting Dina: maybe you thought that but im proving you the opposite Edward: so the whole metaphor is english countryside Dina: so what you are teaching me today is precious, you know why? Dina: because sometimes i wondered if i wasn’t being rude Edward: why Dina: or vulgar Dina: for this form of art is so new for me Dina: im a freshmen (freshwoman) Dina: new to me Edward: no exquisitely passionate...classically and poetically Edward: for most sex is rude Dina: so je suis tranquille, now Edward: passion is rude Edward: love is rude Edward: a thing to be hidden Edward: never to be spoken of Dina: well, what do you mean by rude now Edward: hidden from the light of days Dina: did you enjoy speaking of sex before cyber Edward: rude means crass...vulgar ... inappropriate Edward: no... Edward: it is not something i have ever written of Dina: but one day you complained i was being rude, i now understand why... laugh Edward: it is a new medium for me Dina: blow job is a contemporary word, uhh, reaally crass, now i get you phellatio perfectly, i apologize, my prince Dina: i did not know we were being so literate Edward: yes a poetic way to speak Edward: how could it be anything else Dina: although i embarked upon it with grace and pleasure Dina: and things flowed Edward: poetry is never vulgar or crass Edward: yes set sail Edward: tis wet enought to sail this ship of thought Dina: you know? its good to learn Dina: now i feel much more enlightened than i already was Dina: and even more free and daring Edward: yes you are enlightened Dina: so my consciousness widens Dina: and grows Edward: knowing what you know Dina: and forms a huge rainbow over you head Edward: is the beginning of wisdom Edward: and knowing what you don’t know is the beginning of knowledge Dina: yeah, great Edward: i love your wetness... Edward: what an inspirational afternoon Edward: thought making body manifest Edward: yes there is no end to us Dina: so now that my poetry is wet too... Dina: you know, funny thing Dina: i believe this linguistic retrieval is on the mass subconscious now Edward: what do you mean by retrieval Dina: for i read the blog from a remote friend of mine, a theater director brazilian jewish who lives in ny now Dina: and the subject matter was exactly the same Dina: only it has some vanity in it, to maculate Edward: what is maculate Dina: retriaval well retrieval in shamanic sense, when a soul is lost and you have to go to the underworld to recuperate Dina: maculate, weel, i just looked in the dictionary, to pollute, let’s say Dina: make it dirty Dina: maculate = impure Edward: ok... Dina: but anyway Dina: this need to go deeper in our humanity Dina: meaning humans, beasts in a sense Edward: but why do you say that the revival of language or liguistics or the rebirth of liguistic consciousness is on the mass subconscious now Dina: poetic beasts though Edward: and why is impurity an issue Dina: maybe i didn’t express well, not the language but the subject matter of sex as ancestral, idyllic, maybe a reaction to body overxposure Edward: the rhythm of mind and the poetic beast man is the rhythm that traces litterary history Dina: impurity cause if you mean to be idyllic you have to be innocent, fresh, no fetish Dina: no vanity needed Edward: the noble savage by rousseau Dina: for vanity is so vain (laugh) Edward: there is no vanity in the infant Dina: and silly Edward: the babe is without sin Dina: and fake Dina: and yet with sexual delight, going out like this through the cunt Dina: feeling it on the source Dina: so we are born out of orgasm, no doubt about it Dina: i believe babies created from orgasm are quite different Edward: i suspect that if we were together we would do little erotic writing Dina: yes, i know about that Edward: yes orgasm is a kind of re centering Dina: but yet its fun, so you please go to the library while i stay home,ok Dina: for a little while Dina: or else we will never finish that book Edward: a kind of rebirth of the self Dina: we promised to our editor Edward: you must be your self to become yourself Edward: of course you are yourself in the first place on confused by circumstance Dina: so first the chicken or the egg Dina: thanks for answering me before i asked Edward: all chickens come from eggs so the egg came first Dina: but in the beginning Dina: there comes creationism god made it Edward: in the 3rd day Dina: bereshit... Edward: i tought my children that god was like gravity...sort of was always was caused everything Dina:: im thinking, like gravity Edward: and there came an egg and from this egg came a chicken and from hence forth and then on chickens came from eggs and chicken eggs came from chickens Dina: more like primordial soup Dina: okay. future is good because you take present knowledge for granted Edward: yes the form the primordial soup takes is dictated by gravity and gravity is a fundamental part of the soup Dina: then i agree with you, as i can see Edward: what do you mean by future...good...and take present knowledge for granted Dina: well, i stopped in the middle of sentence Dina: future like tomorrow, today you already know things so you progress based on this Dina: so we have egg and chicken Dina: let’s make an omelet Dina: but knowledge transcends time Dina: and let the chicken live Dina: yes, but language to translate knowledge comes in due time Dina: so we don’t discover a thing, back to ain chadash Dina: so we have a lot of new words being created everyday Edward: well when the atomic bomb went off that hadn't been seen before Dina: and then is so nice to play with ancestral language mingled with contemporary Edward: i love that about you that i can drift in thoughts and languages and come to the same oasis with you at ein ghedi Dina: what a terrible view Dina: the mushroom, i meant Edward: i know harsh image...the camps et al Edward: the horror of it all Dina: not the oasis in the negev Edward: i was in tahiti and they sell these hideous postcards of mushrooms filthy things rising above the pristine pacific Dina: i see myself in pearls beneath the palm tree Dina: naked Dina: white pearls Dina: wow, that really maculates beauty Dina: bare breasted. Edward: 24 inches between your breasts Dina: yes, an old vision Edward: 30 inches till your waist Dina: a princess expelled from palace and reborn in the desert oasis, funny you mentioned this Edward: ein ghedi was one of my favourite places on earth Dina: well, Edward, im sorry, i can’t echo you if you speak in inches and feet, its the only thing in english i cannot grasp Edward: such life from such parched earth Dina: and ounces too Edward: 3/4 meter Dina: yes, you know, i love the desert Edward: sky sun horizon...no crap Dina: let’s go back to bare breasted i will try to figure out Dina: i was once in the sinai Edward: be naked Dina Edward: me too Dina: 11 days without sweet water taste gets numb Dina: no canteen Edward: were you lost Dina: but yet ondulating black hills so beautiful Dina: and then oasis Dina: no, it was a trip like this Edward: sweet water god how i love sweet water Dina: desertical Dina: but thrilling Dina: maim be sasson, no Edward: naked Dina: both naked under the palm tree Dina: king and princess reborn Dina: out of love Edward: yes great picture you sent me tantra Dina: nice, no, though mild Dina: when i have an idea for you i don’t research much Dina: its what comes in handy Dina: and fits Edward: Dina come and have dinner with me tonight Dina: yes where, dear Dina: remember im a vegetarian Edward: let me put my arm around your waist and walk with you somewhere Edward: there are salads everywhere Dina: how is it for vegetarians and organics in st aug Dina: i will love that, dear Edward: hold you next to me walk in step Edward: do you want to live here in st augustine Dina: i hope i can put my arm around your waist too at the same time, if my arm is long enough Dina: i want to live with you dear Dina: wherever you wish for im ready to emigrate Edward: let me make my home between your legs in your arms in your heart in your mind and in your eyes and smile Dina: i always picture st aug for you are there and artsy fartsy like you said pleases me Dina: see how the words come out of me Dina: we are home already since we found each other Edward: i will give thought to where we would live here Dina: then you can show me Dina: and we will see Dina: we will talk Dina: ah... to talk with words with sound, with hands, with accent what a dream Dina: to hear your voice Dina: your strong resonating voice Dina: Edward, how is your afternoon going Dina: could we stop now for a couple of hours and talk again later Dina: or will this be difficult for you Edward: i am delighted with you Dina...pleased...the librarian has told me that i would be leaving... Dina: so we are in synchronicity though painful today Edward: i will see what i can do...probably...a tout a l'heur mon amour Dina: love you Edward Dina: bye... Edward: love you Dina

Edward comes back on-line 2 hours later

Edward: hello Edward: et vous la? Dina: hei Edward, you know, right this moment i finished what i had to do Edward: parfait Edward: come to me Dina embrace me Dina: yes, dear, im here... where did you go? Dina: for the last hour, i mean Edward: nothing in particular... Dina: from the start where did you go for the last hour after we hang up typing slowly to avoid errors Edward: bought a bouteille de vin... Dina: so i understand you will make me drink again in moderation though Dina: degustation Edward: went back to chez moi...had a glass of wine...listened to national public radio...sought the news of the day though it was Dina Dina: nothing is anything Edward: i fasted for ten days once Edward: food became an absurdity Dina: oh i did, too, i told you already Dina: but i was so week, an impulse for death Edward: yes i thought it interesting as you were describing it...along with the fasting of silence i did that it is quite amusing how much is said nonsensically Dina: but one thing i would like to do is to cook for you Edward: so now is now and we have courted the razors edge and i prefer the slit between your legs Dina: sensuous food, not sensual Edward: cook away Dina: artistic food Dina: loving food Edward: even sumptuous Dina: food cooked with love and feeling Edward: food is good Dina: vegetarian, though Dina: but gourmet food anyway Edward: food is food Edward: yes des bon gout Dina: oh no, now we disagree Edward: how so? Dina: oh food is consciousness Dina: considering how much i created already in writing and loving since im with you image what i can create in the kitchen Edward: not consciousness is a consequence of food Dina: in the midst of a lovemaking day Edward: my dear my life is changed...transformed Edward: eros thou art my god...and Dina his form Dina: you know, something you told me earlier Dina: and i didn’t pay attention enough Edward: what? Dina: cause some little things go unperceived in msn Edward: what? Dina: when you said you wanted to put your arm around my waist Dina: so i read unattentively arm around shoulders Edward: and you said you wondered if yours would go around mine Edward: implying that my girth was greater than your grasp Dina: what happens is i LOVE men who put arm around waist and not shoulders Edward: i took it that you had short arms. Dina: no, i didn’t mean neither Edward: oh im glad you liked that i put my arm around your waist Dina: is that i pictured my arm going over your arm around my waist uhh, hard to explain, but can you figure out Edward: around shoulders is so patronizing Dina: right Edward: hold you tight against my hip Edward: so would you like to go back to our evening walk waist in waist Edward: slip my hand to your breast secretly Dina: oh Edward, you know, every little detail you start telling me about yourself in homeopatic doses Dina: i love every bit of it Edward: we are made together Dina: fast and only, let’s feast now Dina: fast and all, i mean Edward: i have fasted long enough from love Dina: me too... Edward: let me devour at eros table Edward: and from pleasure and art and beauty Edward: you fill me Dina Dina: so would like me to be Psyche Edward: saite my being Dina: saite? Edward: quench my very soul Edward: yes Psyche... Dina: i could paraphrase (is this eng) on and on Dina: sit on the table in front of me with your legs apart and let me feast Dina: in public or in private you mean Edward: eat of you from you Edward: we dine alone Dina: with your hands, please, the ancestral way Edward: yes finger food Dina: no instruments but perfect hands Edward: and mine are... Dina: ambidestrous Edward: profoundly conscious ...artists hands surgeons hands Dina: thin long fingers and all Edward: yes probing...conscious Edward: equally talented Dina: i have thin fingers, small hand though Dina: well, im small all over Edward: you sound apologetic Dina: no, you are mistaken Edward: yes but your cunt...there is a beast ...a giant Dina: i love being small and seldom wear high heels Edward: i don’t care as long as i fit with you and love you Edward: i find you beautiful. Dina: and my cunt fits your cock pefectly so who worries Edward: truly. Edward: there is an extraordinary compatibility Dina: and what i know you are not that tall either Edward: no ... Edward: but tall enough to stand above you Dina: so we fit in height, wide Edward: and look down and kiss you Edward: in and out Edward: hold you against me and have your pelvis meet mine Edward: i have no doubt the pleasure that rests within Dina: oh, and that you can do in public: kiss me passionately Edward: yes i lived in paris and walked along the seine and did what lovers do Dina: that is Edward: embrace and kiss passionately in public Dina: i never been to paris with a sweetheart Edward: it was more watching then...there was no great love for me in paris that summer except the city itself Dina: perhaps we can go love by the seine some day Edward: yes wouldn’t that be lovely... Edward: i want you with me right now Dina: i wish dear Dina: but soon Edward: i want to lay with you tonight Edward: yes i know all about soon Dina: so let’s go home, dear Dina: tomorrow we can travel more Edward: je t'aime Dina: in the meantime we will share a nice cosy intimate marvelous wunderbar life Dina: in st aug Edward: how is this possible that unseen but seen of course...i could be so in love with you? Edward: or in rio in your bed room on the 13 floor...shall i come to live in rio Edward: your gringo husband Dina: in the same way im in love with you and made a revolution in my life in less than a month Edward: etrange Dina: you will be welcome in rio but believe me, we will live better in usa Dina: but you can come anyway and propose to me officially Edward: ah invitations...formalities Edward: we could just elope when you’re here Dina: im kidding, i don’t want this in no way Dina: 2 days before my last marriage my mummy told my former husband i was "difficult" Dina: so she established the tone for our relationship Dina: and future did not deny it Edward: probably an understatement Edward: so she is a mean conniving manipulative dark bitch Dina: but if we decide to elope, dear, im ready, you know Edward: yes i know you are wouldn’t that be lovely Dina: then i can type with Paulo to establish our partnership in business and im done Dina: let the rest explode Edward: with its own flawed intended energy Dina: sad vibes, you know Edward: transcend Edward: there is so much joy between us Dina: im already doing this, don’t you think Edward: we make light Dina: you know im serious about eloping Edward: yes by breath Edward: i know...so am i Dina: now this is beatiful Dina: i hope it can happen Edward: we will have to wait and face to face know the truth of it Edward: in all its myriad forms Dina: it will. each day that passes im more sure of it Dina: clearing all possible doubts Edward: i feel so connected with you that sight unseen i am inclined to say yes Edward: embrace you madly Edward: wed you Edward: elope with you Edward: marry you be wife to me Edward: be husband to you Edward: forever Dina: because although im almost 100% certain you will appreciate me visually and me you Edward: how i hunger to be wed Edward: to live with wife Dina: more and more appearences are getting less important Dina: you know Dina: i used to think Dina: marriage never more Dina: if i happen to find someone Dina: each one in his house Edward: we are either married now or we are not Dina: and meet frequently Dina: nothing like intimate living together Dina: but now that i met you Dina: all this is far gone Dina: all i want is to hang with you 1000% of time Dina: as much as possible Edward: it is quite lovely living with you being with you Dina: you know, i thought 100% and typed 1000% Dina: but now 1000% suits better my feelings Edward: it was emphatic Edward: and i thought well phrased Dina: you are up late Dina: i know we will enjoy so much living together Edward: what do you mean, oh no Dina: i wake up with the sun so i go to bed early Dina: but than we can adapt Dina: are you? up late i mean? Dina: and do you wake up early Edward: i would welcome bed with you there in it Edward: naked wet open soft clean Edward: and wake to your stirring make love to you be in you lay in you Dina: so if we will design a whole new life of our own i can wake up later, make love to you slowly and lazily in the morning Edward: i am connected to no rhythm Dina: well, but i need to exercise, and run Dina: to keep me balanced Dina: physically, i mean Edward: we could have green tea...and? toast? what do vegans eat for breakfast Dina: well, we can have green tea alright Dina: but now i dont Dina: well, i don’t eat bread Edward: it has been announced that i have five minutes remaining Dina: (oh my god) cause i don’t like yeast Edward: say good night to me Dina... Edward: kiss me Dina: oh my god, it was so nice Dina: our daily talk Dina: so good night my love Edward: place your mouth on mine and kiss me good night Dina: sleep tight Dina: hold me gently caress me Dina: dream of angels and me Edward: press your self against me in good bye Dina: and near future 2 1/2 weeks from now Dina: i will miss you terribly till tomorrow Edward: so close i fear i will break Dina: you won’t, my strong husband Dina: we will not break Dina: nor brake Dina: ever Edward: so dream of me think of me touch yourself and let me be with you Dina: ok, dear... i will dream my hand is you... poor fake copy Dina: till i can have you in me for real Dina: goodnight my love Edward: i love you Dina and would that i could touch you and hold you Dina: and me, Edward, curling in you lap Dina: like a tigress Dina: wild and gentle

A remark… Edward hanged up before the conversation was over…

Dec 07 Dina like a tigress wild and gentle i love you Dina and would that i could touch you and hold you Dina says: and me, Edward, curling in you lap Dina says: like a tigress Dina says: wild and gentle And thats how our conversation ended after you hanged up…

Dec 07 Dina you make me feel like dancing

You make me feel like dancing you make me feel like singing you make me feel like smiling all the time... singing/ dancing/ smiling/ living/ loving ALL THE TIME... And that's yet another reason why i love you.

Dec 07 Dina Pina Bausch

Dear Edward, i just noticed that Pina Bausch has been this week in NY, while i was talking of her!!! Funny, even closed in my cage im still connected. You remind me of the good things in life, things i used to love; being away from them is another sign of this willing to die, a time i want to forget. I love Pina. Do you know her? I met her once here in Rio when i worked as her interpreter; simple, strong, merveilleuse, wunderbar. Funny is the description of the show, includes a dialogue like this: (a couple with heavy foreign accent) - do i have an accent? - can i love you for a day? -no - can i love you for a minute? - nooooo - can i love you for 30 seconds? - oh, okay, you can love me for 30 sec (she starts to kiss him as he looks at his stopwatch) - are you going to count the seconds????? Edward, can i love you for the rest of my life?

Wednesday dec 08

Dina: hei Edward Dina: british like always Edward: macculate as always Dina: macculate? Edward: im-macculate Dina: oh, yes Dina: i was so excited learning a new word i had to use it Dina: how are you today my love Edward: not often Dina: what Edward: fine...happy Edward: what what Dina: what what what Edward: what was the british as always? Dina: right on schedule Edward: ah yes Dina: can set my watch with you Dina: thanks god Dina: can you see the new tricks my nephew thaught me Edward: if you add an s to thanks god...you are speaking in middle eastern european dialect...it is one of the keys to recognize it Edward: par example Dina: so should i say thank god you are here with me Edward: to be trendy Edward: yes as always i love the thanks god...it is charming Dina: you are charming dear Edward: the thanks is middle european jewish dialect...left the jewish out Dina: the way you talk Dina: the way you walk Edward: as you are Dina: really? Edward: i figure out Dina: you know, i've been thinking about that translation from hebrew i gave you yesterday for neshane Dina: so i think is more "make a difference" than change Dina: do you remember Dina: so i should say we will make a difference in the world Edward: yes...things begin someplace...so i very often set things off in the universe to see how long they take to come back Edward: i was working selling jewelery and there was a ring with a band that rotated around it...a ring on a ring sort of had a channel... Edward: its funny you are no longer thinking of that and then it pops up Dina: and Edward: and people would come in and say do you have any spinning rings...and i thought that they seemed more like worry rings like worry beads...so i began to call them worry rings...it took about 30 days before someone came in and asked for worry rings...i was amused Dina: no one wants to worry. that’s what marketing is about no? Edward: when i was in san francisco in 68 one of the coffee houses had a chalk board in the mens room and you would see things written "today is the first day in the rest of your life" "war is unhealthy for children and other living things"...things have a beginning Dina: yes, ideas float Edward: no i didn't care about the thing...the rings and all...but people who wore them were constantly twitching with them touching them spinning them...worrying with them...so that is what i say and how i defined it...i was just curious to see how long it would take to come back to me Dina: i sent a note to my customers, woman customers today Edward: there are very few broadcasting points... Dina: did you see in the news they "discovered" a remedy for women frigidity Edward: yes testosterone Dina: patches of testoterone Edward: a patch or something Dina: you were a little late Edward: yes i noticed Edward: i love talking with you Dina: but then Edward: it has been such a long time since i delighted in language Dina: i used this to make marketing for my orgasm anklet Edward: of ideas of thought Edward: since i left university Edward: sought the wisdom of the common man Edward: what a drudge Dina: that uses only feminine resources, much better Dina: yes, i love playing with words too Dina: you started with that phrase about joyce, remember Edward: orgasm anklet? Edward: no Dina: let me see if i remember somthing like ludicrous literate linguist Edward: ah...but that is mine Dina: well, it had a rhythm so i embarked on it Dina: and enjoyed the ride Dina: until today Edward: yes...rhythm. . Edward: i love the rhythm of you Dina: i designed this anklet to help orgasm Dina: and stimulate feminine hormones Dina: much better than testosterone Edward: a conscious and attentive lover Edward: much better... Edward: but then maybe they are mistaken about the formula Edward: you could put a drop of testosterone on the back of the magnet Dina: viagra women need, well, is the package of testosterone Edward: so you spoke before me Dina: wonderful men charged with testosterone i mean Dina: like you Edward: i would love to kiss your ankle lick the bone...kiss it touch it Edward: evidemment Dina: i was re-reading our talking form yesterday Edward: most men are unconscious Dina: is almost painful, you know Dina: the description of lovemaking Edward: what part... where you are called away before climaxing Dina: as i read it my cunt hurts Edward: let me kiss it and make it well Dina: no, i mean anytime i read it, if your material body is not with me it aches Edward: sometimes being physically apart from you is unbearable Dina: and the more you excite me, the more i imagine you doing things like this for real Dina: at last Dina: you will get me crazy Edward: it is odd as you speak these words i am getting hard...pressing against my pants Dina: flying straight to heavens Edward: so hard it hurts Dina: that’s what i mean Dina: the way you describe lovemaking is the way i dream of it Edward: what are you wearing Edward: help me see you Dina: bah, old clothes, not worthy a description Edward: speaking to me Dina: its too hot today Edward: how do you smell Dina: weeellll, i smell good, i think Dina: i never use perfum Dina: or deodorant Edward: good Dina: only my natural smells Edward: bathe? Dina: pheromones Dina: silly Dina: everyday or 2 times a day Edward: yes slip your fingers in your cunt and tell me what you smell and taste Dina: the soap im using now is "passion" Edward: how appropriate Dina: the liquid soap with aromatherapy Edward: it is odd i am able to make love to you so tenderly so pationately with words Dina: so as i (slide) the sponge with the red liquid over my body i think of you in he shower Edward: i would like to bathe you Dina: you know, i like to take baths, showers together Edward: i would like to trace the wet soap and warm water over the curves of your body Dina: its been long since i last did it Edward: have it trace over your breasts...suckle the water from your breast Dina: now picture you getting hard as i trace the soap over you, getting to your groin Edward: lick the water as it cascades between your breasts down your belly through the mount of venus and glistening through your cunt. down your legs Dina: and then i kneel and spend a long time on your cock sliding the soap Edward: your knees your ankles your feet Dina: and you are hard Dina: and then i get up to make our mouths meet Edward: yes terribly erect Dina: and i feel your cock pressing hard against my belly Dina: slippery from soap Dina: you are so beautiful, Edward Dina: i will spend days, and days and days making love to you endlessly Edward: i love listening to you make love to me Edward: it is so soft and gentle Edward: do not stop Dina: i told you already i've never spoken of this before Dina: or written Dina: but i see the imagery so vividly on my head Dina: and feel the thrill on my body Dina: and we make love in so many ways Dina: never a day like the last Dina: and all you propose is to my liking Dina: the softness Dina: the strenght Dina: the passion Dina: in due time Edward: we have perfect timing Dina: i can’t wait to feel your cock entering me Dina: as you kiss me gently in the tub Edward: what is it like my cock entering you Dina: oh... its a bit hard at first, but then you are so gentle Dina: you excite me so much and i get all wet Dina: and then you go deeper, little by little Dina: gently, until our groins touch Dina: i would like you to find that sensitive spot inside me Dina: cause you know Dina: the vaginal canal is sensitive but the cervix isn’t Dina: but i long to feel you touching the center of me Dina: i wonder is there the g? for i never sensed it Edward: you are drifting Edward: i too have never written in this manner spoken like this Dina: drifting why Edward: but i have performed improve... Dina: but you do ( make) it so well, Dina: so vivid Edward: words flow more rapidly i am able to translate mind to words faster than the machine can type Dina: yes Edward: you are as poetic as i as capable as i Dina: you know sometimes i loose detail Edward: so speak to wet Edward: broad brushes Dina: but then go back and enjoy a second time Dina: and poets making love is wonderful Edward: venus mounds pubis symphus {groin} is not a romantic word it is something you speak of when you have an injury Dina: yes for you hear me before i speak Dina: because i used to like making love in silence Edward: have you left... Dina: Edward, wait a minute Edward: i also make love in silence Edward: let the love speak Dina: sorry, dear Dina: i was talkin to mum's psychiastrist on the phone Dina: so you make love in silence, oh god Dina: well Dina: i was saying, except for moaning Dina: sometimes i can make a scandal Edward: how exciting Dina: but you know, i had to tame myself as im living here, i have to masturbate in silence Dina: so i trained it, but its fun to moan loudly Dina: because you know, six years without love Edward: i hope i am the object of your affection Dina: is hard Dina: on cunt and heart Dina: what do you mean hope Edward: im certain Edward: certain not hoping Dina: if you correspond to your promises Dina: which i think you will exceed Edward: it is an expression to refer that when your were masturbating... Dina: oh, you know Dina: after we met i didn’t masturbate on my own anymore Dina: i used to masturbate without fantasy Edward: before you met me...what? Dina: im not prone to fantasy Dina: well answered you already, only the act Dina: that is why i cannot masturbate trying to visualize you Edward: why? Dina: now i masturbate with you online on the other side Dina: and have no energy left for more since its so complete Edward: because the image of words your words for me is of love and intimacy it is not eroticism Edward: this is how i make love Edward: i am describing action Dina: well, but then you get so excited, the excitement needs an escape or else it will hurt Dina: but how do you feel when you decribe Dina: or you describe what you plan to do Dina: is that it Edward: yes well there is pre ejaculative emission when i finish speaking with you invariably i am modestly wet Dina: cause if you correspond to your words... you are my dream lover Edward: when i am describing i am as though there doing Dina: yes, me too Dina: so every day it gets harder to wait Edward: but to stand against the wall and try to imagine these words it is not erotic enough... Dina: well, then a woman is different Edward: no i am different Dina: well, you know, before i met you male beings were strangers to me Edward: it would take you naked smiling with your legs apart glistening with your finger touch yourself to make me erotic enough to masterbate Dina: beings i couldn’t grasp Edward: you brother your nephew... Dina: but we will not masturbate when we are together Edward: no i was thinking of a picture. . the one that is not coming Dina: my brother, well, a nice man, but aloof and not my friend Edward: you are deep and complex Dina: and im talking about males in relationship Edward: i would think it difficult to share your self completely with anyone Dina: i could never understand their way of feeling Dina: of reacting Dina: but i feel so at home with you Edward: mind connecting is great eroticism Dina: you are not a stranger to me Dina: but a mate Dina: a completion Edward: i feel comfortable with you Dina Edward: at ease Dina: and i feel open Dina: unstressed Edward: i feel you understand me Dina: happy Edward: you see me the way i really am Edward: it is a pleasure to understand you Dina: you allowed me to spread my wings and express myself fully Edward: what is presented to be understood is for me lovely interesting profound art humour sincerity goodness Edward: you trusted me to do that...you honor me with your trust Dina: yes well, im an artist and feel like a stranger in this family Dina: and among my friends too Dina: marcos seemed to enjoy me Edward: why not...how could anyone hope to grasp the complexity of your thoughts...feelings...perceptions Dina: the fact that i was an artist Dina: but then on daily life all he wanted was the practical role of a wife Dina: go shopping Edward: and? you have drifted off to silence Dina: give orders to the maid Edward: faster Dina faster Dina: run a big house Dina: i was incapable of it Edward: so? Dina: although i can run a house very well Dina: and so boom Edward: you told him to fuck himself Dina: it was not that easy Edward: Dina you are competent on any level you choose to be Edward: no it is never that easy Dina: and i had to deal with the phantom of his former wife Edward: six years? a long time to become untangled Dina: she was floating around the house Edward: paint the walls white Edward: take down the curtains Edward: let the light in Dina:her make up and personals filling the drawers in the bathroom when i arrived Edward: throw out the furniture Edward: get some plants Edward: guys are stupid Dina: ok, dear give it to me Edward: ignorant fucks Edward: what happened my answers were delayed a minute ago Dina: well, 2 things happened as i was typing Dina: the guy from tourist agency called cause i wanted to know what happens with the ticket if i have to delay the flight back to rio Dina: so now i know Dina: (yes, panting white, let the light in) Dina: i will do an ikebana for you, daily fresh Dina: and second Dina: my mom started to say something about going with me Dina: so i told her i have a boy friend waiting Dina: so she told me what if you get married and go to live with him????!!!!??? Edward: she senses you are leaving...possibly happy Edward: so i will have to live in rio Dina: so i asked her, and then, what if i do this, will you like it? No answer Dina: would you like that Edward: of course not she is threatened...she is afraid Dina: to live in rio Edward: if all of this is as it is i do not care where i would live Dina: but trouble is i dream to live with you in st aug, far away from this family Dina: who always massacred me in many ways Edward: running away...to love Edward: to sanity to health to freedom Edward: massacred...brutal... Dina: im not running away no, i know you could come here, but i want to grab this golden opportunity Edward: you get it Dina: i think i will grow in usa Dina: and it will be good for business too Dina: and a city more quiet Dina: do you need a car in st aug Dina: or can you walk to places Edward: "golden opportunity" curious expression I am a "golden opportunity" hmmmmmm Edward: st augustine is charming it is on a human scale...walk bycicle... Dina: not you silly, since you always say you could come to rio Dina: oh, Edward, cut the crap, don’t change my words Edward: cobble stones there are only 12,000 people... Dina: i don’t know st augustine but it seems to be to my liking Dina: well, how would you like to go on living there Edward: yes most assuredly it would be... Dina: what Edward: Dina it depends on you on us how we are when we meet when we wake up Dina: well, i know that Edward: it would be lovely to have a love in my life Dina: but don’t you start thinking you are an opportunity for me,wrong idea Dina: the fact that i can go live far from here is only the cherry on top of my sundae Edward: my children were my love ...they are becoming self determinant Dina: and of course it would have been much easier if you were living in the next block Edward: it would be lovely to walk along the beach arm around your waist hip to hip your breast against me Dina: for we would be sharing a real bed since the first day Dina: thing is i feel i will really live a happy life in a city like yours Edward: probably Edward: especially if we are in love Dina: so Edward, my love im already regreting this leap to reality for you suddenly get colder when this happens Dina: cause some part of you is still afraid Dina: despite all we've been through Edward: reality is always a chance...no risque no gain Dina: well, we don’t have a choice, do we Dina: would you prefer not to meet me and remain typing like this forever Edward: Dina i am a realist a romantic...the reality is often only 10% of the dream Edward: sometimes it is equal to the dream Dina: well, this will not be so for us Edward: no i would meet you Dina: maybe equal (which will be already enough) but probably so much more Dina: for when we are living together we will create a reality of our own that will talk for itself Dina: because you are so much to my liking in every detail (unless you are a perfect liar deluding me with your tricks) Edward: women have said they have loved me [not many] but you love me as i probably am Dina: which i doubt, its not possible Edward: as i am to myself...self of self... Dina: i think that sauf for body we reached a highlevel of intimacy Dina: of ideals and ideas expressed Edward: i cannot imagine any deeper level of intimacy Dina Dina: so if your cock is really thick and veined Dina: and your hands big and long Dina: caressing Dina: and you hair is really curly Dina: and your stomach washboard Dina: and you heart loving Dina: and your words poetic and wise Dina: what do i have to fear Edward: washboard was your word...it is more like the statue of David Dina: its like i designed you in heavens to meet you later on earth Edward: i am who i am...and will not feign it for anyone... Dina: well, david... does not have a strong cock (laugh) Edward: some times i cannot say things for the hurt they cause. Dina: what kind of things you mean Edward: no it was his stomach...he is a pencil dick Edward: how i feel or think about something. Dina: ai, Edward, don’t get me seriously Dina: but then with me you will have to Dina: be open, i mean Dina: cause you already are Dina: but well, then, i don’t doubt some adaptation will be necessary Dina: but im flexible Dina: and open Dina: when im loved and understood Dina: and nurtured enough Edward: when i focus it is with such energy that the illusion of self dellusion is burned from the self...seeringly so...it was a technique a therapeutic process that i learned...it can only be done with love because the responsibility of its consequences is mine Dina: have you noticed everytime my mother's vibes come into the picture we get gloomy Edward: she is a witch though fading Edward: Dina i love you think you good and do not wish to disappoint or hurt you in anyway Edward: yes i noticed the pale that comes over our energy Dina: it happened the same way a week ago if you remember Dina: and it tooks us many hours and some painful emails to overcome it Edward: thought i am impressed with your ability to save your own soul without guilt Edward: we are biding time Edward: i think you are healthy...sane Dina: she used to treat us (me and her) as we were the same, no boundaries between our selves, so invasive Edward: you seem almost naive Dina: at times Dina: and you see, im not that skilled yet to protect myself Edward: but you are truly an evolved woman Dina: this thing about spiritual invasion sounds like absurd fantasy Dina: but for me is so real for i experienced along my whole life Dina: she always wanted to live my life Dina: or at least through me Edward: no when you are open to another and the other is disrespectful to you out of ignorance, consequential disrespect...they can do great disabilitating harm Edward: suck the life and joy out of the self oblivious to anything they are doing Dina: maybe that’s the main fuel to my therapeutic search Dina: that put me to so much researching and made me a whole different being Dina: so in fact she does not know me anymore Dina: has no idea Dina: but disturbs me still Edward: yes to free your self from this knawing parasitic cunt...who has used the death of your father as a tool of guilt Dina: maybe you think im naive because i play no games with you Edward: it is she that would have best been served by therapy. Edward: no because of your innocence Edward: no you are not corrupt Dina: my woman friends always told me how i should behave,what i should do to conquer a man Dina: but i was always incapable of it Dina: if you could conquer me you would not want me Dina: for i play no games Edward: nor do i. Dina: and am always transparent Edward: i had to learn the techniques of transparency Edward: the disciplines of transparency Dina: that’s why i told this tiny atom of our love that suits me, this is, the fact that i can escape and go to live in usa Edward: not to sell my soul or corrupt my spirit Dina: i could have hidden this detail, you would never know, maybe, delighted with the fact that i would follow you wherever Edward: so i do not need to conquer you Edward: there is no doubt that there is an atom of us...that is producing fission Dina: you came to my door and i accepted you as you came the whole package, i have no remarks and don’t want to change you a bit Dina: cause you are to my liking, loving, the way you are Dina: and this strength in you is so exciting Dina: almost as exciting as your way of making love Dina: as you describe it Dina: i love challenges Dina: they make me leap Edward: when i heard you sing...heard your praise to govinda...heard the strength and openness of your voice...the risks you took and reached every peak that you set out for i was impressed awed Dina: Edward? are you there Edward: yes Dina: so awed is a good term after all Dina: my voice is me Dina: its the best of me you have in the meantime Dina: except the art of writing Dina: but the voice is stronger, you know why Edward: yes i can hear Dina: because it is so naked Dina: because although everything i say to you is true and sincere Dina: i am very good in writing and could dellude you Dina: with my skill Edward: yeh fat chance... Dina: but not the voice, i can’t fake it in any way Edward: i am a skeptic Dina: about what Edward: i graded papers learned to read meaning Dina: between lines, you mean Edward: yes to hear what is being said what is meant not the words Edward: to hear what is being said before it is said Dina: well, im not saying i AM delluding you silly Dina: cause im not Edward: good i am enjoying the dellusion Dina: fact is we type so fast i don’t have time to think Dina: if i write an email i can do some revision, but not on line Dina: this on line typing is a great, great improvement in online dating, you know Edward: my life is so void of meaningful human intercourse that i take solace in sand and water Dina: it gets so real and spontaneous Edward: yes first of all you have to be literate that is a qualification in and of itself Dina: well, my love your solitudiness has its days counted Edward: secondly you can hear the person thinking if you have an ear for it or an eye for it Dina: imagine if we were 2 shallow fellows how could we spend so much time typing Edward: what is it like to read the full text of our days together Dina: can’t you do this Dina: its like reading a fine strong pice of literature Dina: well, i haven’t tried the full text of all days, its a lot i don’t know how much Dina: i tried to copy and paste to word Dina: but it was to heavy Edward: i was thinking of yesterday....you commented upon it earlier Dina: i will have to close all windows first Dina: oh, i told you already Dina: its as exciting as for the first time Dina: and better cause with time i see things i haven’t noticed Dina: only thing is you are not there to exchange so i miss you terribly Edward: yeh that was what i meant in the brevity of time i have here there are continuities of words that i miss have missed Dina: if i ever had some doubts about your honesty or intentions, they dissipate when you start showing the depth of your thinking Dina: and don’t worry, you will have the opportunity to go back to this if you so desire, cause i have a record of it all Dina: its automatic in my computer Dina: an option offered by msn software when i installed it Edward: open your blouse and describe your breast for me i am horny Dina: couldn’t guess by then it would be of so much value Dina: well, my nipples are asleep, although my cunt is not Dina: i am so inclined to make love to you Dina: you know, my cunt is all the time sensible just as if we been making love for real along all this days Edward: describe the shape and form and colour of your breasts Dina: so swollen and sensitive just as if your cock has really been inside me, and going in and out all the times we typed about it Dina: you are so ral for me Edward: i am so hard Dina: well, my breasts are round, small, i figure they will fit perfectly into your hand Dina: 2 or 3 thin hairs on it for i don’t shave them Dina: when im not excited the nipples remain on surface, they are not relevant as in many women Dina: but when you stroke them, bite them gently, kiss them, they get thick and dark rose Dina: no veins, clear skin Edward: let me kiss them put them in my mouth taste them Dina: a bit heavy on my stomach Edward: taste the hard nipple rising Dina: so i am making them rise now so you can see hem pointing to you Dina: you can feel them against your palm, your lips Edward: let me bite them Edward: taste them against my lips Dina:: yes dear,and lick them Dina: and suck Edward: yes they are soft orbs...your nipples make me thick with the thought of you Dina: the honey i feel rushing towards you Edward: let me put them in my mouth my tongue wetting them Edward: tongue circling the nipple Edward: tongue and teeth pushing against them in lock Dina: oh Edward, i love you so much never get tired of saying it Edward: let me kiss your neck wet it with the tip of my tongue Dina: proving it Dina: tasting your love for me Dina: put your throat in my mouth Dina: suck my neck Edward: put your chin in my mouth wetting your face Edward: lick the line of your jaw Dina: lick me all over with your tongue Edward: kiss the nape of your neck Dina: my neck is long, and thin Edward: raise the hair off your back suck your neck Dina: and white Edward: suck and lick and taste till your shoulders Dina: and the skin beneath the hair so soft and clear Dina: and untouched Dina: and there’s the butterfly Edward: unseen Dina: the omoplats show under the skin Dina: yes, only lovers can see this butterfly Dina: for the hair covers it Dina: and its so tiny Edward: let me hold your right hand with my right hand above your head and bend and trace the muscles of your arm to the pit of your arm lick the pit taste you smell you Edward: let me try the taste in you mouth Edward: suck you Edward: trace the form of your arm your elbow...kiss your elbow... .suck it Dina: a virgin elbow never sucked Edward: bend and bite your nipple put you in my mouth Dina: oh god Edward Edward: trace with tongue between your breast Edward: to your belly Dina: let me run my nails softly through your back Edward: soft and heaving Edward: rounded till the mound of venus Edward: hold your butt Edward: weighing it Edward: that lovely tuft Edward: put my nose in it and smell you Edward: take my hand and lightly move within the folds Edward: feel the wet of you Edward: put my cheek against it Edward: my lips kiss this soft form Dina: yes Edward, feel me as i start to vibrate under your fingers Dina: under your tongue your lips Edward: split it with my tongue...deeply penetrate you with tongue and fingers Edward: three fingers in you Edward: feeling the length of you the sides of you Dina: fell my swollen labia as they press your tongue, sucking you Edward: wet so wet dripping wet your panting Edward: i lift your thighs and stand in front of you spreading your legs opening you Edward: parting you like a flower Dina: you know Edward, you have this power to make my cunt throb with words no more Edward: bent i kiss you spread you with my hands see the read pink throbbing parts of you the swollen labia the clitoris Dina: this is awesome Dina: so come and stroke my clit Edward: my cock so erect so hard Dina it stands at the gate Dina: with your tongue Dina: fingers inside me still Edward: the tip gently touches you strokes you Dina: make my head spin Dina: gets foggy, the head Dina: numbing the conscious mind Edward: i bend and lick you stroke the tip of you with the tip of my tongue Edward: cock at gate does enter Edward: press between the veils of delight Edward: move the tip up and down the wet cunt of you Dina: yes Edward, press your cock inside me, enter me fill me with your manhood Edward: then plunge tip into you swallowed by you Edward: invisible Edward: let me push my cock within you down the length of it Dina: i can feel it as you slide every part of your cock through my canal Edward: i am surrounded by the wet of you the smell of you the full flesh of you Dina: my eyes closed as i feel you deeper Dina: and grab my legs around your back firmly Edward: let me put my hands around your butt and pull you closer to me Dina: i feel your chest touching my erect nipples Edward: squeeze me Dina crush me Edward: hold me Dina pull my head to your mouth with your hands Dina: i press my strong muscled legs to your hips Dina: as we meet in kiss Edward: move Dina move Edward: move your hips up and down Edward: suck me in and out of you Dina: oh Edward, will i survive this or dissolve in your delight Edward: arch your back and pull me in and out of you Edward: Dina deeper in and out Dina Dina: yes, my love, swaying with your firmly attached Edward: arch your hips back and forth Edward: kiss me Dina put your tongue in mine Edward: kiss my cheek my neck Dina: i kiss you passionately Dina: my heart opens wildly Dina: and i let you in in all levels Dina: in complete trust Dina: and surrender Edward: let my hand drift down between your legs and stroke your clitoris my cock in you half in its veins showing itself Edward: and let me come in you Dina: oh god Edward, come, Edward Dina: come Dina: moan Edward: come Dina let me hear you come Dina: call my name Dina: panting Edward: Dina Dina i love you Dina Dina: ahn, ahn, ahn Dina: aaaaaahn Edward: let me blow breath across your face Edward: your eyes your brow Dina: oh Edward Dina: orgasm comes in waves Dina: endless fluid waves sucking your cock Edward: hold you feel you coming over me Dina: heat rushing to the head Dina: from toe to head Dina: im so hot Dina: red hot Dina: face flushed Edward: my cock is so hard Dina: cunt throbbing Dina: neverending Dina: it does not stop Dina: like a sucking fish Dina: eating you Dina: oh god Edward Edward: im in you Dina Edward: my cock is still hard throbbing within you Edward: forever erect Dina: oh Edward, you can’t imagine what it is to be fucked by you Dina: you will never guess the tiny tip of it, pity you Dina: nor you the pleasure you give me Dina: ahhg, deep sigh Edward: let us lay in your wetness Dina: yes, my love, hold me Edward: i am pleased by you Dina: sing me a lullaby hushing softly Dina: to make me sleep Edward: i will hold you stroke the hair along your temple with the back of my fingers Dina: huummmmm Edward: kiss your ear with the brush of lips Dina: can’t believe the back of your fingers Edward: hold you and cradle you in my arms and gently rock us to sleep Dina: how nice one more loving detail Dina: let me dwell within you my love Dina: let me float with you Edward: wake to the center of existence Dina: oh my god i pray for this perfection Dina: though perfection is not from this world but we found it Edward: this is sweet cher Edward: what are you doing Dina: im thinking of you Edward: are you there Dina: dreaming of you Edward: let me put my head in your lap Dina: half paralyzed before this screen Edward: spread your legs and kiss you Dina: who spits endless wonders Edward: let us begin to part as lovers must...for i soon must do something Dina: ok, my love Dina: what will you do when you leave me Edward: think of you Dina: and what else Edward: go do some business Dina: ok, then Dina: see you soon Dina: bless you Edward: love you from a distance Dina: send my love vibes to you Edward: im still hard within you Dina: across the land Dina: so you better relax or you will not leave... Edward: would fuck you and hold you the rest of the afternoon Edward: ciao Dina: bye

Dec 08 Dina leonids

Mein Liebe Edward im mystified by the vast myriad of forms your love can take. Yesterday sitting on your lap was so sweet, and yet thrilling, your left hand taking this long walk around my nipples, spending such a long time to give me pleasure. Tu me reveilles from a deep trance to a life fulfilled. Je vous offre mon temps, mes chagrins, ma tristesse je vous offre le gris de jours passé sans vous... I feel like sending the most powerful shower of leonids over your garret, each shooting star a wish come true. Let me be with you, let me be in you, let me be one with you, for i love you so. Good morning, love/ Dina

Dec 08 Edward warmed to morning light this gentle tigress and so she woke this gentle tigress ...warmed to mornings light...stretched her soft self the length of her self her breast still warm with sleep her length did awoke...her arms her legs her mind...and smile came upon her lips as eyes did look upon these words... and love did fill her being...c'est moi mon amour je t'aime.

Dec 08 Dina re: warmed to morning light this gentle tigress it worked! i smiled at the words! dec 08 Dina A room with my view

Corcovado o redentor, que lindo...

Dec 08 Dina Shadows

Dear Edward, im worried. Was it a good thing to open my heart with you, to speak freely, to let you so deeply in. Would you prefer not to know about my discomfort toward my family and imagine im a flawless princess. Aren't you guessing you're no more than a fire escape for me. (although you know, i wouldn't be able to lay - or talk, or play - with you merely to find an escape, if you disgust me) Is your transparency offer for real. Or are we playing poetic games. (im not) its so difficult to be open and thruthful. You offered, i grabbed it voraciously for i long for complete intimacy. And complete is complete. Flaws and all. Do you really appreciate it, wish for it, have the strength for it. Or did i ruin something. God forbid, for i really/ truly/ profoundly love you) And pray and hope its not a dream. You know im sensitive, Edward. And sensible souls suffer, that's the price to pay for sensitivity in all levels. Hope to listen from you... from the love, the lover in you... Love/ Dina

Thursday dec 08

Edward: i am here my love Dina: hei, Edward Dina: im here Dina: slowing down Edward: i love you Dina Edward: openly completely Dina: doing things i must do and haven’t been doing Edward: sorry Edward: i do not mean to interfer with your life Dina: so sorry, i felt a bit overwhelmed this afternoon Dina: well, that’s a joke Dina: you interfered Dina: you are my life Dina: you changed my life completely Edward: no the business of your life Edward: Dina i love you Edward: completely wholly openly Dina: see, Edward Dina: im in a unique borderline situation Edward: cher ami je'taime Dina: but not cycles of euphoria or depression Edward: and what is that borderline as though i do not know Edward: quoi Dina: its both at the same time, different sides of the door Edward: dit moi Dina: instant cyclotimic Edward: quoi Edward: cyclotimic? Dina: well, maybe its portuguese Edward: do not let my sanity impede our love Dina: its the word for this kind of schizophrenia altering states of mind Edward: i love you as i have loved no other Dina: note than im not schizo Dina: only the situation in hand Edward: i love you so very much too Edward: no not schizo. .. nor i Dina: but i wish to separate love from suffering Dina: i don’t want to suffer Edward: there is no ambivalence from me only the disappointing promise of disappointment Dina: i want full time joy Dina: but where is there such a promise Edward:Dina i have never loved anyone any woman as i love you Dina: or threat Edward: whu? Edward: threat? Edward: moi? Dina: minute dictionary Edward: i understand Dina: no, not you, the disappointment Edward: it is everything or it is not Dina: yes i know Edward: quoi? Dina: and i want to wait for it relaxed and easy Dina: cause i won’t change a thing if a get anxious Edward: what? Edward: you and i? Dina: anxious about our meeting Edward: it is in motion Dina: we are destined Dina: dec 28 Dina: i have the strength to follow you, share with you Dina: be one with you Edward: mais? Edward: ou est toi? Dina: but not to get worried and fearful of this damn disappointment Edward: qu’est ce que te fait? Edward: ah fear Edward: the killer of life Dina: maintenant? Edward: est quoi? Dina: well, i payed my taxes Edward: Dina you will love st augustine Dina: finished packaging an order that has to go tomorrow Dina: made 1/2 hour relaxation Edward: it is a center of the godess Edward: though lesbian Dina: yes, that’s what i feel Edward: what? Dina: well, im not for this goddess Dina: that i will love st aug Edward: Dina Dina: yes Edward: i love you as i have loved no other Dina: ok, i believe you Dina: i have never loved in cyber space Dina: in theory Edward: you believe what? Dina: so its disturbing at a point, no? Dina: i believe you love me and i love you too Edward: what? Edward: that i love you and cannot commit to dream Dina: what’s disturbing? cyberlove Edward: i commit to you in soul Dina: hush Edward Edward: yeh the illusion the mind run rampant Dina: before you say something you shouldn’t Edward: like what could i possibly say? Dina: you know, i can tell you about my experience with marcos Dina: you want to know? Edward: and? Dina: we had this month to get to know each other Dina: so we got intimate Dina: but not like us, no sex or love like ours Dina: but souls yes Edward: how could there ever be? Dina: moment Dina: then he sent me a picture Dina: i thought he looked old Dina: which he was Edward: regret Edward: prophecy Dina: 4 years older than you Dina: than the trip Dina: the anxiety Edward: so the soul has no age no limits Dina: but when i saw him at the airport Dina: he was so beautiful Dina: and loving Edward: you have infinite capacity for love Dina Dina: he took me to his daughter's chalet by the lake Dina: and we had the most wonderful weekend possible Dina: dream Dina: so the dream matched reality Dina: i mean Dina: for a first meeting Dina: problems came by later Dina: but this is the same with any kind of couple Edward: Dina i have the infinite ability to make manifest any reality i choose Dina: what im telling you is that the passage Dina: from cyber to real Dina: was smooth Dina: soul matched touch Dina: because we know each other Dina: now imagine us Edward: did you share such soul as you and i? Edward: we have been making love voraciously and deeply for so long Dina: no, Edward Dina: marcos and i were very different Edward: you and marcos Dina: not alike like you and me Dina: we seem to share everything Dina: taste Dina: experiences Dina: places we went to Dina: relationships we had Dina: i've never experienced something like it Dina: or related to it Edward: you and i or you and marcos? Dina: you Edward and i Dina: nor him Dina: what i said Dina: he and i were different Edward: Dina Dina: we are the same Dina: Edward Edward: you and i are so the same Dina: Edward i love you so Edward: we are the same think the same be the same Dina: i desire so much to be with you Edward: moi aussi Edward: gam anee Dina: to get near this source of enchantment Dina: so strong to get through 10000 mi Edward: enchantment does not express the reality Dina: without losing energy Edward: yes is that all it is? Edward: 2 hours Dina: oh Edward, pleeaase Edward: sorry longer Dina: 10 hours flight Edward: what? Dina: yes Edward: not witchcraft Edward: ten hours Edward: no science Dina: its that je suis enchante d'etre avec vous Dina: enchantée Edward: moi aussi Dina: completely drowned in passion/ Edward: i am in love with you Edward: i have never seen you Edward: i am overcome by you Dina: or maybe you did Dina: in the desert Edward: you slay me Edward: i have seen the soul of you Edward: listened to you sing Edward: song of solomon Edward: psalms of love Edward: have you left? Dina: yes dodi li Dina: va ani lo Edward: ou est toi? Dina: no i tried to establish sound connection with you Dina: but couldn’t Edward: you spoke and i heard you Dina: you must have some restriction Edward: i told you i heard you Edward: fathomed you Edward: loved you Edward: restriction? Dina: ai Edward Edward: merde Dina: yes in the computer you use Dina: pas toi Dina: its the second time i try Dina: to no avail Edward: what is the second time you try? Dina: establish sound connection with you Dina: true sound, not energetic Edward: trust that my voice is equal to yours Edward: that the range and love is le meme Edward: so i need a microphone Dina: or send you a tape of me Edward: you will be here before you receive it Dina: no, i don’t think it will work Edward: i am truly who you perceive me to be Dina: but you can send a tape Dina: no. its not worth it Edward: i am everything you imagine Dina: im not worried about that Edward: you should not be worried about me Edward: je suis comme je suis Dina: so let’s not worry period Edward: as you imagine as you sense Edward: d'accord Edward: il ya rien a peur Dina: so how do you picture our meeting now Dina: you know i will land in tampa Dina: and drive to orlando Edward: i thought it was orlando Edward: that is where your hotel is? Dina: no, the flight is to tampa and from there a car Dina: hotel yes, in orlando Edward: and then to the hotel and then to my arms Dina: 9000 international drive Dina: quality inn Dina: so we will have an appointment in the afternoon? Edward: at what time Dina: well, about 3, I think Dina: im not sure i will be able to check in before 2 Edward: come to the door naked and i will bring you flowers Edward: just being flippent Dina: well, flowers yes, but naked without a prior kiss...risky Dina: naked Edward: that is interesting Dina: what Edward: we are naked already Edward: what is the risque if cyber space is reality Dina: well, if you promise to come to my door naked as well.. Edward: lovely. .you make me laugh Edward: i will arrive naked without walls or defense Dina: well, will you not be thrilled by the opportunity to undress me? Edward: my heart is open Dina: passionately Dina: urgently Edward: yes. . kiss by kiss Edward: button by button Dina: huummm Dina: let me see if i have buttons to offer Edward: yes i will lift your dress and enter you without a word Dina: i doubt it... Dina: the buttons, i mean Edward: no bra Edward: no panties Edward: naked Dina: i swear i was going to ask you bra or no bra Edward: let me touch you Edward: you told me you wore no bra Dina: yeah but sometimes i do Edward: like a hanuka present Dina: depends on the outfit Dina: not at home, never Edward: i don’t care about the outfit Dina: i wish, for hanukah is next week Dina: not 2 1/2 weeks from now Edward: no its today Dina: today? Edward: ah yes most assuredly Dina: yes! you bet! Edward: chag sameach Dina: i didn’t notice Dina: chag sameach motek sheli Edward: anee ohev otach Dina: ve ani od ioter Edward: od ioter? Dina: even more Edward: let me embrace you Edward: hold you warm to me Edward: hug you Dina: im open for you, my dear Edward: i know Dina: a heat came to my head when you loved me in hebrew Edward: it is your openess i love Dina: ani lo iodat lama Edward: your soul is naked before me Edward: lama? Dina: why Edward: ma lama? Dina: why I was thrilled when you said you loved me in hebrew Edward: anee yodaya ma zeh lama Dina: so don’t tease me Edward Dina: i imagine so, yes Edward: bevidai anee ohev otach Edward: it is so central to me to speak love in hebrew to you Dina: is it? Edward: yes Dina: i never spoke words of love in hebrew Edward: there are fundamental parts of me Edward: hebrew is one of them Edward: it is a place before god Edward: without lie Edward: without artifice Edward: my self before god Dina: well, i don’t feel something like it but then i was thrilled Dina: maybe im getting your vibes Edward: it cuts to my center Dina: perhaps the energy from my center affects you thus Edward: odd how you jumped the gun Edward: finish the thought Dina: and you will remind me of speaking hebrew, which i didn’t for more than 30 years Edward: to love in the center of the creation of our beings Edward: to the cell core Edward: dna rna Dina: i love the multidimensioned quality of our love Dina: multiple languages Edward: yes Edward: it is us Edward: kite within kite Dina: so we are inscripted in each others dna Dina: a love code Edward: no doubt Edward: tis self evident Dina: coming down many generations Edward: how else could we communicate so completely Dina: always preserved Edward: so easily so effortlessly Edward: instinct Edward: i instinctually love you Edward: have always loved you Dina: when you speak im affected in the central region of my chest Edward: will always love you Dina: the chara Dina: hara Edward: we speak to the self of each other Dina: the center of personal power Edward: it is alive electric Dina: light Edward: we make light Dina Dina: you and i Dina: this atom of us Dina: sighing Dina: loudly Edward: cher ami Dina: how can you say those things Dina: to provoke this loving echo in me Dina: how far we have traveled in our paths Edward: i am a poet Edward: and you are the object of my poetry Edward: of my love Edward: if poetry does not speak to love it speaks not Dina: Edward, im so trilled Edward: cher ami je t'aime Dina: i cannot help it Edward: je t'aime aussi Edward: this is me without restraint Dina: so strongly Edward: without censor Dina: that is the amazing thing about this Edward: the power of it Edward: uncontrived Edward: what Dina: stream of consciousness Edward: the love the connection between us Edward: that i can speak and wet you Dina: how could i be so wise to publish my address so you could finally find me Edward: that you can speak and cause me to speak in such words Edward: twas fate my dear Edward: chance Edward: how can you be so beautiful Edward:: and powerful Edward: that you spoke to me and i could hear you was the mizphah Dina: and inspired Edward: because i respond to you Edward:: it is you you hear and see Edward: i am a mirror speaking Dina: so silenced for so long Dina: ages and ages Dina: well then i must be beautiful Dina: how long has it been since we were lovers Dina: for this image i see in your mirror is so full of light Dina: how long has it been since we were separated Edward: it is only you Edward: it is you i speak Dina Dina: i don’t know but could feel the pain of our separation since i was born Dina: i came to this world longing for you Edward: the joy of connection speaks to our separation Dina: and looked for you in so many faces Edward: this longing yearning is ancient to me Dina: each one like a piece in the puzzle Dina: that now shows you Edward: Dina let me hold your face and kiss you Edward: c'est moi cher and only moi Dina: i've been studying this absence of you Edward: tis isaac son of jacob the levite Dina: picking up pieces to make sense, until i was finally capable of envisioning the whole picture Dina: that’s when i met you Edward: we have lived sought each other Edward: how could i respond so to you Edward: i have not seen you touched your body Edward: how could i make such love to you Edward: if i have not always known you always loved you Dina: im feeling your deep touch in my hara Dina: like lightning Dina: let me kiss your chest kiss your heart Edward: we are electric Edward: was it like this with marcos Dina: oh, no, forget it, a pale shadow Edward: has it been like this with anyone Dina: brief illusion Edward: you are still virgin to me to me Dina: why do you bother to ask Edward: cher ami je t'aime Dina: if you already know the answer Dina: or do you want to hear Edward: it is the line of thought of feeling Dina: never, never my love someone like you Dina: but yourself eons ago Edward: yes i want to hear Dina: when we were originally one and only being Edward: yes hold my hand lay yourself next to me walk with me Edward: hug your body next to mine Edward: what words what energy you evoke Dina: oh Edward, we are so deeply drowned in emotion Edward: yes Dina: its like im going to explode or something Edward: filled with you overfilled with you Dina: or being reborn to such happiness i can hardly comprehend Edward: let me hold you squeeze your body with all my strength next to me Edward: ought the air from you Dina: hold you kiss me Dina: i want to dissolve into you Dina: be one with you Edward: be in me Edward: let me enter you fill you with me Edward: be you Dina: return to the original oneness Dina: come in me Edward: yes tantra Edward: love manifesting god Dina: well, you know more than tantra Edward: yes Dina: cause its ancient like the universe itself Dina: primordial Edward: gods mirror Edward: we are more than what is written Edward: we write Dina: now you should teach your children Edward: mirroring each other Dina: true, deep love Dina: that’s what god is Edward: i have Edward: would that they could look on you Dina: and Edward: ou est toi cher Dina: ici Dina: felling you to the core of my being Edward: and see the light between us Dina: so deeply filled with emotion Edward: hold me Dina: i can hardly move Edward: wrap your arms around me Edward: kiss me Dina: yes Edward, i embrace you Dina: I accept you Dina: recognize you Edward: let me feel your dress against me Edward: its folds your breast your hips your arms your face your lips Dina: i feel we are attracted to each other like magnets Dina: and can’t help it Edward: hold me Dina let us be one positive and negative made one Dina: when we're apart we generate this magnetic field Dina: that fills the void that separates us in body Edward: i am drawn to you Dina: but your pulling me with such strength Dina: i need to hold firmly not to be sucked Edward: it is us Edward: ? Dina: or else i will fly Dina: right now to be attached to you Edward: you are flying...three weeks Dina: through this wormhole Edward: yes let me connect in you Edward: fill your cunt with me your mind and soul with me Dina: i meant teletransportation Edward: your arms your body your legs your mouth Dina: to dematerialize here and materialize in your arms instantly Edward: yeh i know teleportation Edward: wouldn't that be lovely to feel the gravity of you Edward: to feel the weight of you Dina: i do feel you Dina: i feel your energy all around me Edward: how could you not Edward: as i yours Dina: now tonight its something different entirely Dina: not genital Edward: damn i hunger to be with you tonight Edward: fuck genital Edward: it is you in my arms Dina: it is like the energy egg around me is totally affected Dina: you your soul Edward: you ignite me Dina: my skin Dina: the clarity of my vision Edward: i am awake to you in you Dina: will we remain like this Edward: how can we not Dina: i want to be like this, to feel like this forever Edward: it either is or it is not Dina: there's no more life outside of it Dina: now is the begining of forever Edward: now is forever Edward: forever was Edward: forever is Edward: forever will be Dina: forever Dina: and that’s what god is Edward: yes god is forever Dina: essential Edward: but to be conscious Edward: with you of god Dina: that is love Dina: between a man and a woman Dina: conscious entities Dina: energized Dina: exploding in the center of things Edward: yes, you have to be conscious to feel that Edward: you have to be whole in the first place Dina: so we are Edward: yes two wholes once apart...no longer Dina: ah, music... Edward: i have to go now...i have been informed Edward: i will speak to you tomorrow Dina: ok,dear, i will dream of you Edward: love you sleep well

Thursday dec 09

Dec 09 Dina lullaby (Dina sings “There’s a kind of hush” online)

Dec 09 Edward re: lullaby sweet lullaby sweet Dina...anee ohav otcha...so lovely thee ...thou art wife to me...gozo chere amour

Dec 09 Dina re: lullaby sweet husband, my love, motek sheli...je vous aime pour toujours...

Dec 09 vows

Ani, Dina bat Avraham, mekhabelet otcha Edward ben Jacob beahava... Hodu L'Adonai ki tov, ki l'olam chasdo! Good morning, my love, light of my life...

Dec 09 my men and you

They are the piece, you are the puzzle. They are the nut, you are the engine They are the sand, you are the glass They are the carbon and you the diamond They are the thread, you are the hammock They are a feather, you are my wings They are the yeast, you are the bread They are the grape, you are the wine They are a taste, but you the feast They are a vein, you are the heart They are the cell and you the being They are a neuron, while you are mind They are the stone, you are the sculpture They are a brush, and you the painting They are one word, you are the poem They are the pen and you the poet They are a flirt, while you are love They are the touch and you the bliss They are a smile, when you are joy... They are the hint, you are the joke They are a note and you the symphony They are a mirror but you, my image They are a nap, you are the dream They are a blink and you, the vision They are a step in Jacob's ladder While you are heavens... They are the blow, you are the wind They are a drop, while you, the ocean They are a grain, and you the desert They are the ray, you are the sun They are a quark, and you the universe Spinning, sparkling, ever expanding universe...

Dina: hello, my love Edward what a lovely view Dina: and... Edward: or should i say WOW what a lovely view Edward: lovely vows daughter of abraham Edward: holiness is so rare Dina: view is alright no, im asking about the other emails Dina: typed late Edward: i am always perplexed by the electrical delay Edward: can never figure if it is an event or a hiatus of thought Edward: de dum de dum Dina: did you read the poem Dina: answering your question from yesterday Edward: (delayed) Edward: where was the poem...what poem Edward: which poem Dina: didn't you received it? check again Dina: or i'll send again Edward: the one in hebrew Edward: the vows Dina: no, in plain english, its obvious you didn’t see it Dina: i will send again now Edward: yes bite my head off in plain english Dina: ok, sent again Dina: Edward, are you there Edward: quark is here Edward: navigating Dina: but quark is not you, where are you Edward: i am universe Dina: oh, baby, you're sooooo vain Edward: twas your words baby cakes Dina: so how did you like it master Dina: does it answer your doubt Edward: i have no doubt Edward: you are bright be Dina: you did not answer Edward:creative poetic Dina: i have sooo much fun creating those things for you, you can’t imagine Edward: that no man has come before meis troo Dina: or maybe you can Edward: i am enthrawllllllled by your intellllllllligence and witttttttt Edward: you pleassssssssse me no end Edward: you give me grrrrrrreat plllllllllllleasure Dina: grrrrrrr Dina: tiger Edward: this is funnnnnn Edward: grrrrrrrr yourself Edward: tiger burning bright Edward: this machine is so slow Edward: soooooooooooo sloooooooooooooooooooooooow Dina: as soon as i got to the gym this morning, there it came: piece and puzzle Dina: so i grabbed paper and pen and did half of the poem lifting weights Dina: and writing in the intervals Dina: ideas and concepts rushing like tap water Dina: and then i had a spinning class, i thought, well, its finished Dina: but it wasn’t Dina: so i had to grab paper/pen again, and put on the teacher's rack, and now and then i pedalled more slowly to make a note Dina: the teacher was laughing at me Dina: are you crazy or what Dina: after class i told him i was writing a poem, and if i don’t get the words out of my mind it will get cluttered and i couldn’t concentrate on cycling, so Dina: it was better to take the word away in paper Dina: and finally it stopped... i just had to review the order of verses, a marathon Edward: we come through each other Edward: channeling Dina: while we can’t have fun with something else, we go on making art Dina: we won’t have lots of time for that later on Edward: yes your clitoris remains on my mind Dina: so do you carry "him" on your pocket Edward: tried to masturbate with you in mind last night but could not hold an image of you Edward: who is him Dina: you and imagery problem, him is clit, kidding Edward: ah sheeeeeeeeeeeee Edward: herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Dina: oh, sorry Edward: la belle femme Dina: do you carry her in your pocket next to "him" Edward: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh him Dina: believe it or not clitoris in port is a masculine word Edward: would that i could see that rose of yours Edward: curious huh Edward: so chauvinistic Dina: can’t you, you dont have a photo Edward: how absurd Edward: language and gender Dina: yes, it is, i never thought about it Dina: but then the clit is the penis castrated isn’t it Dina: according to you know who Edward:it is the penis before it becomes penis... .penis in beginning...the tip of the penis Edward: freud? Edward: the penis emerging Edward: damn chauvinist jew Edward: the wanna be penis Edward: the penis concentrated Edward: freud was a mammasboy Edward: synthetized Edward: let me look into that Edward: close up Dina: figure out how his idishe mama must have been, poor kid Edward: under a loop Edward: so guilty Dina: look at what Edward: freud was frigid Dina: you’re kidding me Edward: shallow emotionally Edward: dead to passion Edward: about the loop Dina: well, then, but his scientific mind was good for something Dina: now everybody thinks about sex all the time Dina: cosmopolitan sex Dina: the magazine, i mean Edward: that is because they are not having it Edward: you have to be somebody to share yourself Dina: neither do us... snifff Edward: most people in contemporary civilization are horribly fragmented Dina:ugh, im playing funny today, c’est pas ce que marrive Dina: now that’s serious Edward: marrive? Dina: to many stimuli Dina: m'arrive Dina: lazy to type Dina: too many stimuli Dina: too little feeling Edward: yes to much insanity Edward: too little bach Edward: too little jazz Edward: too little beauty Edward: too little love Edward: makes mice mad Dina: mice and men Edward: civilization is a collection of mad mice Edward: if they were sane they would leave Edward: "one of the things a man can do is leave" Dina: leave civilization and be wild? Edward: or stay in civilization and be wild Dina: but you know, i woke up today with a hunger for culture Edward: Natural Edward: ala Rousseau Dina: i haven’t felt this for long, was very bored Dina: i have been to only 2 concerts this year Dina: and 2 ballets Edward: mmmmmmmm Dina: but now, i would love to go every week Dina: my boredom is gone Dina: and im reconciled with god too Dina: i started to sing in hebrew Dina: songs long forgotten Edward: boredom was something else, mourning, maybe Edward: a hiatus from living Dina: yes Edward: 60 cycle hum Edward: pedaling in neutral Edward: what do you do in these moments that i am waiting Edward: like now Dina: thinking what to type next, choosing from a myriad Dina: of things i want to tell you Dina: how is cultural life in Florida Edward: don’t think type... .we are psycho-cybernetic organisms....to walk you halve to step and then its a constant acting and correcting to get to the other side Edward: culture and florida are like paris and minas gerais Dina: yes, psychotic, caotic Edward: there is ballet jazz classical in jacksonville Dina: what do you know about Minas Gerais, 1 theater and 2 cinemas, i lived there for 18 years Edward: WOW it was one of the things on my journey of things to do Dina: well, can we go to NY in winter and get an indigestion? (for me at least) Edward: stones {precious stones} and all Edward: also i would love to go down the Amazon Dina: yes, but you are late, my love. i will take you to Bahia where are the bigger mines now Dina: well, down the amazon is beautiful Edward: yes NY a couple of hours away Dina: i’ve been there once when i was 15 Dina: amazon i mean Edward: it is one of the myths in my gestalt Dina: but now you can stay in a hut in he middle of the jungle, it must be something Dina: let’s go Dina: what myth Edward: the wonder of the amazon ...without the reality of pestilence...disease...malaria...dysentery Edward: heat uncomfortability Edward: you know the ideal Dina: well, i don’t think you will see or have those miseries in amazon Edward:: without the blood and bones of reality Dina: you will have a thrilling wonderful trip Edward: really Dina: yes Edward: i must be watching an old movie Dina: tourism there is developed i think, ecoturism, well done, not invasive Edward: humphrey bogart and lauren baccal Dina: yeh no doubt Dina: brazil is not that jungle you know, we have more then indians here (laugh) Dina: but we could go to the mines and see if we could make some money Dina: well, does not fit Dina: bogart and bacall were wonderful, not mosquitoes Edward: yeh you have overpopulation.. .poverty disease. ..like us Edward: civilization sucks Edward: you know bacall is jewish Edward: not that it matters Dina: you know, when i was living in pirenopolis i had a friend who new the way to buy directly on site Dina: stones i mean, mainly emeralds Edward:but it is lovely to see the jewish principal so lovely expressed Dina: he promised to take me there but then i came back to rio and never went Dina: well, genetic quality, no? Edward: that is what i mean emerald rough or specimen rough would be extraordinarily fun to do Dina: we can arrange that, i think, although i don’t have a hint how Dina: but then i can look for some people, make some research Edward: yes genetic quality. ..random function of dna and rna... Dina: i did not talk about business yet but i have many points Dina: we did not, i mean Dina: i think we can have the best of both worlds, first and third Edward: there is a great market in the world for emerald rough Dina: but do you enjoy dealing with this Dina: i thought you were bored Edward: buy some stones sell some stones...make love buy some land build a house Dina: i as talking about you today with my sis in law Edward: you kindle me Dina: so she asked me what do you do Edward: what do you say of me Dina: and i told her you were a jewelry wholesaler Dina: good alibi, just like mine Dina: so she said: but what a coincidence Edward: i love you Dina Dina: and i answered, yes, one of many... Edward: you are so sharp Dina: yes, in port i would say, uma peste Edward: you cause me to smile Dina: you smile, i laugh Edward: it is rare for me to be so touched Edward: so she is curious Dina: but now you are filled to the top, eh? Edward: well, what do you think Edward: i would overwhelm her Dina: Dina has a boyfriend Dina: this is quite rare Edward:yes to the point of laughter Dina: trickster is here, today, no doubt Edward: how could Dina find a boy friend that would meet her standards Dina: but beyond everything Dina: you are a good alibi to introduce to family Dina: if you behave with your big hand for a while Dina: jew and all Edward: yes i can have cards printed Dina: and a merchant Edward:and educated Edward: and well bred Dina: cards printed? Edward: and mannered Edward: business cards stating that i am anything Edward: qualifications are good enough for judgment Dina: you will be approved Dina: in heaven and hell, i mean Edward: yeh i could wear a nice suit and tie Dina: let me do fake cards for you in my printer Edward: yes i have a passport through there Edward: it is your eye that matters Dina: what’s your style? Dina: in clothes, i mean Dina: sauf for black Edward: ivy league conservative...harvard Dina: harvard... can’t picture that Edward: bond...james bondian Dina: briefcase and all Edward: case of tricks? Edward: but living in hawaii...brought an end to much of all of the inclination to that Edward:yes attache Edward: part of the gem business Edward: trench coat... Edward: three piece suit Dina: too hot, ehh Edward: now its more a polo shirt and slacks Dina: better Dina: you know i was re reading my book yesterday Dina: there is a chapter i will have to reed for you when we are together Dina: read i mean Dina: translating Dina: because its interesting Dina: perfect subject Dina: wrong character Dina: i mean Edward: what? Dina: character mismatch Edward: who is the character Dina: the so called soulmate Dina: many trilas no result by then Dina: but then a good guess Dina: trials Edward: i have been advised that my time has come to an end Edward: i will talk to you later Dina: will you come back Edward: ok Dina: ciao Edward: later Dina: will wait dear Dina: anxiously

When Edward comes back...

Dina: hei, Edward, have you been there for some time? Edward: no Dina: i had to boot the computer cause i had memory problems Edward: three minutes...reading your poem again Edward:so where were we Dina: hum i was reviewing a minute ago Dina: with my sis, maybe Edward: oh yes your sister in law Dina: and family and slacks and polo Edward: and alibis Dina: and cards Edward: so what did your sis think Dina: and emeralds and land and built a house Dina: well, this built a house thing i only saw when we hang up Dina: and was delighted with the opportunity Edward: yeh something simple concrete block on a concrete pad all windows like bauhause...mies vander rohe Dina: to design a house to our liking Dina: old dream Edward: yes, very plainn... Dina: apparently Edward: oak floor white walls all glass Dina: sis well, kind of smiled Dina: liked Dina: you are my favorite not mies Edward: really knowing Dina: what Edward: sis kind of smiled expresssion knowing smile... Edward: what did you tell her Dina: sis is not smart, domage Dina: i told her the tip of the iceberg Edward: mmmmm few people really are Edward: what that i was a man and was alive Dina: i didn't tell her about Him and Her Edward: no it would have disconcerted her Edward: most people cannot comprehend that Edward: poetry passion anything Dina: well, this poetry thing is awesome Dina: what spice to life Edward: yes let's dance Dina: imagine if we were simpletons Edward: poetry is kind of the mind dancing Dina: how would this relationship be going Dina: we could not type Edward: yes, and how do you dance, dear, such rhythm Edward: close Edward: hardly moving Edward: to Dina: ah, yes... Edward: but moving completely Dina: slowly Dina: cheek to cheek Dina: hand in hand Dina: cock in cunt... Edward: pressing so slowly against you moving your hip with mine Edward: yes hand in hand body to body cunt and cock Dina: so where would you want me to put my arms when we dance Dina: not on your shoulder, i suppose Edward: my left hand in yours Edward: my right around your back holding you close Dina: and my arms around your neck Edward: your left around my neck touch my chest Edward: my mouth in yours and feet swirling Edward: your right in my hand Dina: eyes closed Edward: hands against my chest so i can touch your breast with the back of my finger Edward: my lips on your cheek Dina: hummm good Edward: moving to your hard mouth Dina: let's dance Edward: the corners of our mouths touching Edward: wet Dina: oh Edward Edward: komm tantz mit mir Dina: kommmm Edward: put your cunt against my leg so i can feel your hard pubis Edward: feel the split in you with the bone of my hip Dina: dancing is more than half the way to fucking,no? Edward:feel my erection against your leg Edward: yes dancing is moving through space to music Dina: i haven't danced for long Dina: but will dance with you soon Edward: dancing is movement through time and space to rhythm Edward: i move at my own rhythm Edward: mime movement Dina: so where is music Edward: the movement of no movement Dina: in your voice Dina: in your breath Dina: in your spell Dina: in your body Dina: an astaire, you Edward: i want to feel your body against me dancing your legs grabing mine Edward: following me Dina: following movement Dina: and will surrender to you completely Dina: let you guide me Edward: yes surrender Dina: close my eyes and float with you Edward: fall into my arms Edward: press yourself against me Dina: fall Dina: fly into your arms Dina: hold me tight Dina: there comes lightning to hara Dina: auras mingled Edward: come to me with your hips and place them against me Dina: can you feel me Dina: electric Dina: magnetic Dina: malefemale Edward: somewhere between soft and sensuous Edward: alive magnetic Edward: malefermale? Dina: new kind of being Dina: old like time Edward: male female Edward: androginous Edward: yes us Dina: no together Dina: malefemale Dina: no not androginous Dina: not bad typing this time Dina: one being Edward: better, tu as raison Edward: are you naked under your dress Dina: well, from waist up Dina: yes Dina: down no Edward: mmmmmmmmmmmmm Dina: large Dina: old Dina: almost ragged dress Dina: i like it Edward: let me kiss those prescient breasts Dina: feel floating Dina: make my nipples dark pink Edward: open your blouse and kiss the tips of your nipples Dina: well, i will need buttons, nodoubt Edward: yes fill with blood Edward: engourge Dina: and round skirts Dina: 50's style Edward: erect Edward: let me kiss your mouth and quiet you Dina: as you touch them more and more sensitive Edward: we can go from the bath to the bed without dressing Dina: i hush for you, my love Dina: already getting wet Dina: they are more and more sensitive Edward: let me touch the tips of them with wet fingers Dina: they can sense your fingers from afar Dina: your tongue Dina: your mouth Dina: the tip of your cock touching them Edward: hold them between my thumb and fore finger Edward: twist them slightly slipping under the wet of saliva Edward: let me put my mouth around them and suck Dina: yes, they are awake now Dina: suck my honey Dina: my juice Dina: i want to nurture you Edward: my mouth surrounds your nipple your breast Edward: almost all of you is sucked into my mouth Edward: you are wet Dina: yes wet Dina: already throbbing Edward: your breast shines with my mouth Dina: suck me Edward Edward: it is slippery with spit smooth soft round Edward: white round tipped with vermillion Edward: rose pink Edward: hard nipple Edward: your hand grabs my cock as i suck you Dina: a rising cock Edward: hard risen long risen Dina: did you leave? Edward: veined Edward: thick Edward: no Dina: feel you Dina: yearn for you Edward: i feel you...become unbearably aroused Dina: i stroke your cock with my hand Dina: don't know the word Edward Dina: for what I do Dina: not stroke Dina: but press Edward: and rub Edward: up and down Edward: put it in your mouth part your lips and taste the tip of it Dina: i put my tongue into the slit Dina: and than lick the pink head Edward: i can feel the warm feel of desire Edward: rising from me Dina: and then suck lightly Dina: only the head Edward: your lips mark the form of it Dina: as i stroke your balls Dina: gently Edward: your tongue touches the underside of it Dina: with my other hand Dina: feel the testicles Edward:your tongue circles my head Dina: free Dina: and floating Edward: you wet the tip of me Edward: breath that wonderful perfum in your pubis Edward: saliva flowing Edward: tongue enveloping me Edward: and then up and down with tongue Dina: sucking Edward: biting gently Edward: as you moan Edward: sucking Dina: sucking Edward: oh Dina i am so hard Dina: yes, i can feel it Edward: tongue following the form of me Dina: you fill my mouth Dina: and my being Edward: sucking Edward: your tongue strokes the whole of me Dina: till you are almost in pain Dina: sucking Edward: wet Edward: more and more you put me in your mouth Edward: saliva sliding slipery Edward: almost to the throat Edward: lips surrounding me Dina: i eat you Edward: your mouth filled with me Dina: voraciously Dina: lovingly Edward: quicker Edward: you swallow me Edward: hold the base of my cock with your hand Edward: your mouth rising a falling the length of my cock Edward: panting Dina: and sucking Dina: licking Edward: i can feel your teeth gently from time to time Dina: moment Edward: i am wet soaking i lay you back and spread your legs Edward: you are wet dripping throbbing Dina: ops, Edward, sorry, psychiatrist on phone Dina: let me suck a bit more, till i feel the first drops of semen Dina: coming out of you Edward: but im erect Edward: throbbing Dina: wet Dina: waiting Dina: ready Dina: and you, where Edward: Dina i lay you down and slip my penis into you...the head gently touching you Edward: you are on your back naked Edward: your arms over your head Edward: and open Edward: a smile on your face Dina: throbbing Dina: inviting Edward: i hold myself above you with my arms on the bed Edward: looking at you Edward: your cunt wide wet hot throbbing Edward: how beautiful the light around you Edward: you smiling Edward: many colors Edward: you raise your pubis till your cunt touches the tip of me Dina: i feel the tip of your cock and ask for more Dina: please, Edward Dina: more Edward: the hair wet now slides over the surface of my head Edward: i slip so slowly through the labia Edward: your skin tight around me Edward: sucking virginal Edward: tight Dina: i suck you again with second mouth Dina: slippery Dina: or first Dina: suck you inside Dina: groins touching Edward: i move my cock into you all of it into you Edward: you sucking me till we slam pelvis to pelvis bone to bone Dina: i feel you touch my g Edward: all the way down the canal Dina: ahhn, Edward Edward: you bite my tit and grab me with your legs around me Edward: lock me in embrace and hold me Dina: as my nails run across you back Edward: tight to you Edward: your mouth wet on my chest Dina: i close my eyes Dina: breathing panting Edward: whispering my name Dina: and float with you swaying Edward: Edward, Edward, my love Edward: kissing my ear cheek lips Edward: more and more i am in you Edward: deeper and deeper till the center of you Dina: yes Edward Edward: in and out Edward: till there is no more of me or you Dina: until you make me cry Edward: tell me what you like Dina Dina: i tell you all the time Dina: by now you know Edward: let me hear you cry moan wimper yell Dina:let’s travel to unknown lands Edward: i mean now Edward: speak to me Edward: now Dina: fuck me Dina: touch my clit Dina:find my g Edward: yes while i am in you Dina: kiss me Dina: stronger and stronger Edward: my hand slips to your clit while i fuck you kiss you Edward: harder and harder i come in you Edward: rub me with your groin hand Edward: harder and harder you meet me with your hips your cunt Edward: until i come Dina: with you Edward: i am rubbing it is wet Dina so wet Dina: out of control Dina: vibrating Dina: squeezing you Edward: your breathing is fast and heavy panting out of control Dina: out of control Dina: heat to head Dina: to hands Dina: to feet Dina: you grab me Edward: all of me lost in waves of pleasure Dina: wave upon wave Dina: tsunami Dina: drowning us to heaven Edward:shudder wet strong muscular hips of woman coming Dina:: and more waves Dina: more heat Edward: panting wet she throws herself against me Dina: neverending Dina: you still hard Edward: i come in you Dina always Edward: hard erect Dina: come Edward, my Edward Dina: come in me Edward: sentinel to aphrodites home Dina: flood me with your sperm Dina: as i squeeze you Edward: yes hard i stroke slam my self into you go rigid shudder and cum over and over again Edward: wave and wave of contraction Edward: and again Edward: and again and again Dina: and one more wave of heat Dina: of throbbing Edward: our lips together tongue in tongue your arms around me Edward: contraction Edward: cock in cunt trobbing... Dina: hush Dina: quiet now Edward: contraction wave of pleasure Dina: feel Dina: enjoy Dina: gozo Dina: Edward teach me Dina: this word gozo i don’t know in english Dina: must learn Dina: is another word for orgasm Dina: orgasm being too pompous Dina: coming being too popular Dina: gozar, sentir o gozo Dina:gozar contigo Dina: with you Dina: gozar, sentir o gozo gozei contigo Dina: i need this word Edward: climax Dina: no, cause is after the climax Dina: like we are climbing mountain Dina: climax is the beginning of orgasm Edward: ahhhh the ecstatic Dina: but then gozo is all the way down like a torrent Edward: an avEdwardche of pleasure, liquid, sperm, gozo Edward: lovely us Dina: gozo is liquid Dina: is drowning in deeper consciousness Dina: dissolving Dina: into each other Dina: like we did minutes ago Edward: oh my Dina: Edward je t'aime Edward: let me hold you dearly Dina: my universe spinning sparkling ever expanding husband Dina: sigh Edward: let me stroke you...trace my fingers lightly over you Edward: your skin...so soft and white and damp electric Dina: let me get some water, im dry Dina: back in a minute as you stroke me all over Dina: want some? Dina: maim be sasson Dina: nature nectar Edward: yes let me kiss it from your lips Dina: my cold lips now Dina: from freshness Edward: drink and drain your mouth in mine Dina: Edward, im still throbbing Edward: let me watch Dina: can you feel it Edward: touch Edward: yes Edward: it is alive Edward: Edward becomes strong Edward: again Dina: Edward Edward: yes again Edward: again Dina Edward: gulping air as you're not there Dina: fuck me Edward Edward:louder Dina deeper come Dina Edward: in and out slipping on this primal path Dina: oh Edward Edward: my fingers grab your ass and spit you Dina: oh my love Dina: two grateful tears for you Dina: down my cheek Edward: split your legs your cunt your self and come in you enter you fill you Edward: let me kiss the salt and taste you Edward: hold you hard against me Dina: yes, my love, in heaven now Dina: quiet Edward: bite your mouth your lips your teeth Dina: satisfied Edward: full Edward: gozo Edward: to the top Edward: wet dripping quiet delight Dina: wow Edward Edward: surrendered in each others being Edward: inside each other Edward: quiet Dina: rest Dina:peace Edward: pax gozo Dina: love you Dina: loveyou Edward: love you Dina: my Edward Edward: are you tired Dina: silent Dina: happy? Edward: quiet Edward: yes Edward: you please me te me plait Dina: who can type after this... Edward: i’ll talk to you tomorrow Dina: are you going for good, wait a minute Dina: i have an email for you Dina: will send now Edward: ok Dina: moment Dina: ok, gone Edward: no Dina: will you open now or later Edward: now

Dec 09 Dina Lullaby Dina sends to Edward her voice singing “There’s a kind of hush” where she whispers the verse “I love you” on the microphone

Edward: WOW Dina the i love you gave me goose bumps Edward: spoke to my core Dina: night night my love... Dina: it was beautiful Dina: sleep tight Dina: gone...

Dec 10 Dina satisfaction

My dear Edward Yesterday i was satisfied, fulfilled, complete. What a day. Rolling Stones ruled out, i CAN get satisfaction after all. Concrete (Bau)Haus included... I love you, my Edward, never get tired of saying this. For next message click on the link... See you later my love/ Dina

Friday dec 10

Dina: hey, Edward Dina: I’ve missed you in my dreams last night Edward: i missed you too, Dina... could not sleep... im so hungry for you already. Dina: and im so wet Dina: hungry for you Dina: come to me Edward Dina: once more Edward: let me put my cock in you Edward: let me slip between your legs and enter that throbbing love of mine Dina: ai, Edward Edward: yes Edward: enter you the full length of my cock Edward: my veined throbing cock coming home Dina: ah, what a relief im not empty Dina: void Edward: deeper in you harder till we bang our bones together Dina: yes Edward Edward: filling you your mouth gulping me Edward: liquid dripping between your legs down the crack of your butt Edward: my hand on your butt holding you closer to me Dina: yes Edward stronger Dina: grabbing me Dina: faster Dina: almost hitting Edward: harder and harder Dina in and out faster and faster Edward: panting Dina: moaning swaying Dina: till we are flying in a rhythm Dina: screaming Edward: almost contrapuntal Edward: screaming Dina scream Dina: i scream and scream Edward: fuck me Dina fuck me come Dina: a scream of joy Dina: primordial Edward: and scream Dina: fuck me Edward Edward: louder Dina deeper come Dina Edward: in deeper and out faster and faster Dina: fuck me Edward, stronger please Edward: Dina, I have to go... Edward: get back to you soon...

Edward comes back online after 20 minutes to find this email message

Dec 10 Dina horny

Edward, how can you do this leave me like this throbbing for you so while you are away fuck me Edward, kiss me passionately let me feel your body on top of me while you stroll by yourself in St Augustine i love you so much long for you for your large, smooth, loving hands and your curly hair i take your glasses off kiss your eyelids your nose your mouth slightly bite gently your ear murmuring i love you in a blow so that only you can hear i suck your neck, lick you ear feel your breath your smell your skin play with my tongue on your chest hair silvery kiss your nipples lick them suck them make them rise i trace your chest with my tongue arriving to your groin you close your eyes and i take your risen cock in my hands to my hungry mouth and kiss him sweetly sucking lightly then i seat on your groin take your cock with my hand and guide him to my cunt as you feel the weight of my butt on your groin you hold my butt with your both hands as i ride you in and out in and out in and out smiling at you as you touch my clit i lean down a moment toward your face and kiss you as you hold my breast like a fruit squeezing teasing as i ride you waiting for you to come come on line... come on me...

Edward: i am so sorry Dina: don’t worry my love Dina: i was only teasing you Dina: does not mean im not horny Dina: are you still there Edward: you shit Dina: meee??? Edward: i drove like mad to get here Dina: shit?? Edward: what cruelty i thought to leave you so Edward: how abrupt Dina: oh dear Edward: and all the while you were teasing Dina: i know you have to change locations Edward: it is an expression Edward: can mean a lot of things Edward: even endearing things Edward: usually impish Dina: why did you have to change anyway Dina: are you in the library Dina: btw how many libraries with internet in st aug Edward: because the library i was at suddenly was flooded with people Dina: so your time was limited? Edward: so i drove 15 kilometers to this one which is brand new state of the art and i can talk for hours because nobody uses it Dina: oh, god, good Dina: maybe i can talk to you then Dina: let me try

Invitation: Application: an audio conversation Edward: you invited a to start an audio conversation. Wait for response or cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

InvitationResponse: Application: an audio conversation Edward: a refused your invitation to start an audio conversation

Edward: yes you can talk to me Edward: try Dina: no, i can’t Dina: you always refuse me Edward: so don’t Edward: try Dina: don’t you want to hear me Dina: (teasing) its not you Edward: ce n'est pas vrais Dina: but the machine Dina: i know Edward: the machine? Dina: i know you would love to hear me whisper in your ear Edward: let me fuck you Dina Edward: by the way how do you pronounce your name? Dina: Deena Dina: double ee in Portuguese sounds i Edward: i love to listen to you wisper in my ear Edward: brief d? Dina: sometimes i feel like calling you édouard Dina: yes Edward: i hear you do that Edward: it is an odd name in english Edward: for a woman Dina: why Edward: it sounds like diner Edward: did i get you wet Dina: but my name is in hebrew Edward: are you weet Edward: wet Edward: ah anee maveen Dina: many Dinas in israel Dina... Edward: very interesting Dina: Dina like din, in hebrew justice, law, the judge, God has judged Edward: capice Dina: from the hebrew Dinah, Jacob’s daughter Edward: je comprend Dina: and zisel means "sweet" Dina Zisel, just but sweet Edward: vraiment je comprend Dina: n'est pas? Edward: yes, this is so Dina: check your mail Edward: when im making love to you are you touching yourself? Dina: well, not lately you know Dina: cause im wet and throbbing without touching Dina: and i was a little like, let me say Dina: scratched, worn out Dina: from so much selftouch Dina: desperate wanting to feel you Dina: and i want to be new, fresh for you Dina: and on top of it Dina: im so connected to you Dina: i feel the sensations without touching just like you do Dina: in a public scenery i mean Dina: yesterday i was so excited Edward: oh my dear that was so lovely so perfect Dina: when i asked you for a second time Dina: i really meant it Dina: i was so horny Dina: throbbing Dina: and funny thing is Dina: when we are making love im entirely in it Dina: and when its over its over Dina: no sensation without you across the screen

Dina sends another sound message to show her passion

Dina: (i can’t talk to you like this often cause its too much of our time wasted... i have to record, save, make htm, upload, email... for 1 second only... Edward: your love making note was exquisite Edward: intelligent sensitive passionate Dina: which note Dina: while you were driiving? Edward: yes Edward: the one making love to me Dina: its you my love Edward: conscious well done Dina: its you my love Dina: you make do those things i never did before Dina: ever Dina: lilith? Dina: i neever talked sex Edward: thou art modest Edward: but you done sex? Dina: i did, a few times, no Edward: exquisitely Dina: teasing you Dina: i had quite a few lovers Edward: you are forever teasing me Dina: most lousy, you know Dina: i liked making love to my first husband Dina: before marriage Dina: cause after marriage... Dina: it was rare and i had to make a demand now and then Edward: f... him Dina: he cheated on me Dina: i had a gay love for 10 yyeeaars Dina: i loved him so much Dina: but he never touched me but once Edward: what is a gay love? Dina: a gay man Dina: i was practically his wife Dina: i loved his inteligence, wit, creativity Dina: he was (is) beautiful, charming Edward: so what happened? Dina: critical Dina: what happened was Dina: 10 years is enough Dina: i made a big effort Dina: and stopped seing him Dina: he made me suffer Edward: long ago? Dina: more than i could stand Edward: histories Dina: oh yes, another 8 or 9 years Dina: after marcos i had a tantric lover Dina: but then not a lot more to share than sex Dina: he was from spain Dina: named Garcia Lorca, believe me Dina: i wrote some poems Edward: you have been busy Dina: no, wrong impression Dina: i spent most of my life without sex Edward: infinitely more than most Edward: in depth Edward: range Edward: passions Dina: after my first marriage i was alone for almost 10 years Dina: and now its been 6 Dina: my passions you mean Dina: yes, im passionate you know Edward: how does someone as passionate as you stand it Dina: i used to be always apassionatta Edward: extraordinarily so Dina: but rejected Edward: too smart Dina: after i left marcos i was really sad Dina: brokenhearted Dina: so i forgot all about passion Dina: and lived like a monk Edward: yes sadness can give birth to the monk Dina: and i was sure i was gonna be celibataire for the rest of my life Edward: i was 6 years after julia Dina: and thats when you came into the picture Dina: without sex? Edward: i really didnt give a damn about sex nor did i meet anyone that evoked that Edward: being without sex is nothing Dina: i thought men wouldnt do this Dina: being without you is something Edward: men...i am un peu bizzare Dina: Edward, but as long as we are together Dina: i want us to enjoy each other endlessly Dina: you make love so passionately Dina: how can you be without sex Dina: although i was, too Edward: sex doenst interest me you know Edward: there has to be someone to make love too Dina: i never did sex wityhout love Dina:without Dina: never Dina: not even as a bohemian Edward: someone that the actions are a reflection of them Dina: not even drunk Dina: never layed down with someone i did not love Edward: to me making love is a prayer a poem Dina: but then i lie Dina: i never loved anyone Dina: loving you i feel like a virgin Dina: i never loved anyone the way i love you Dina: being loved in return Edward: i have opened you up ripped the hymen of innocence Dina: feeling free to be myself without restrictions Edward: and cast the light of my being upon the lining of your soul Dina: so its the first time i make love Dina: what i did before Dina: was mimic sex Edward: it is Edward: you cannot share your self like this with anyone Dina: but you Edward: this is like an artesian spring Edward: it emerges from the ground by its own energy Edward: it does not require to be pumped Edward: cajolled Dina: its amazing how we ride together Dina: so spontaneous Edward: dragged kicking and screaming to the light of day Dina: and free Edward: that is love... Edward: love should be without effort Dina: oh Edward, how i long to be with you in body Edward: endlessly evolving emerging Dina: to caress you Dina: to be quiet with you in a warm embrace Dina: to make this recognition complete Dina: i waited almost 51 years for you Dina: and cant wait another 2 weeks

(Dina sends to Edward a picture of a diamond ring)

Edward: nice ring did you design it? nice stone Edward: we would probably call it a marquis Dina: thats the navette i told you Edward: i cant wait another two weeks either Dina: it moves around the axis Dina: you use the diamond as a lever Edward: did you do the smithing Edward: is it 20pts Edward: nice clarity Dina: oh no, my technique is rough and i dont have machinery Edward: good color Dina: i have a good goldsmith Edward: good Dina: but you know Dina: i would love to have a workshop again in st aug Dina: all my tools are rusty Dina: good for garbage Edward: or fishing Dina: fishing? Edward: as weights Edward: shabat shalom Edward: the hour is getting late there Dina: what does it mean shabat shalom are you leaving Edward: would like to make love to you tonight Dina: i thought you said we could talk for long Edward: no it is just a comment Edward: a recognition Edward: of something Dina: what Dina: are you leaving or not Edward: no Dina: so why did you say this Edward: getting late Edward: but you have to sit on me Edward: for you Dina: i dont have a thing to do on friday, you know Edward: no maybe not i thought the computer time said two Dina: if something comes up it can wait for tomorrow, or sunday Dina: btw i havent been working much anyway Dina: no energy for work Edward: strip your clothes off and mount me Dina: so things dont happen Dina: yess dear Dina: im wet Dina: sitting on your lap Dina: no clothes Dina: since you left me naked a while ago Dina: and i waited Dina: lazylly stretched in bed Dina: waiting for you to show up again Edward: spread your legs and bring them to your chest and spread your cunt wide so i can enter it with this hard exploding cock Dina: you dont sound like a man who does not care for sex Edward: slip me in you Dina: you dont leave me alone for a second Edward: put your arms around me and hung me as im in you Edward: squeeze me Dina: and i love it Dina: Edward, oh Edward Edward: it is you dear that cause me such passion Dina: how i love this cock of yours Dina: and those hands of yours Edward: how i love this everwet cunt of yours Dina: and those green esyes Dina: eyes Edward: its muscles your legs Edward: the soft skin of your thights Edward: your breasts Dina: your mouth Edward: how love your firm butt Dina: your tongue Dina: you now a male nutt is soooo beautiful Dina: your mind Dina: butt i mean(freudian slip!) Edward: as beautiful as the nipple on your breast Edward: mine are large and pendular Dina: would you enjoy if i touch your ass Edward: hanging well below in a sax of skin as thin as paper Edward: i would enjoy you touching me anywhere and doing anything Dina: i want to touch every bit of you passionately Dina: i want to translate love into hands Dina: and mouth Dina: and cunt Dina: i want your chest to feel my heart beating Edward: while your sitting on me with your cunt wide open smiling at me with my cock deep within you Edward: let me put my hands around your lovely ass and feel its to forms and squeeze you deeper on me Dina: i feel this thing beyond description inside my chest Dina: almost a pain Dina: it comes from navel to throat Edward: i do your breath your rising breast your panting mouth the beating of your heart Dina: a deep emotion Edward: i feel it in my throat with you too Dina: and as it turns stronger my cunt starts to throbb Edward: inside? Dina: so the whole trunk is affected Dina: inseid, yes Dina: inside Edward: my cock is in you and i can feel you how well we fit together Edward: its like i am suspended in another kind of living media Edward: motion Edward: creation Edward: we are creating Edward: life Dina: maybe my essence is suspended with you at some point in cyberspace Edward: this is the dance of life Dina: or cosmic space Dina: too bad no egg Edward: egg? Edward: we are connected that is for sure Dina: in time Edward: egg? Edward: reality...sans place Edward: ova? Edward: your ova Edward: child of light Dina: you know Edward: powerful dance you and i Dina: im still menstruating Dina: although not regularly Edward: well if the universe wants this child of light it will come Dina: oh Edward, its sooo beautiful you say this Dina: i think no man ever wanted a child with me Dina: so this sadness prevented me of being a mother Edward: domage Dina: and the sadness from my own childhood as well Edward: why did no man want to have a child with you Edward: are you grotesque Dina: i dont know Dina: what do you mean grotesque Edward: they did not love you Dina: im too much for them Dina: i guess not Edward: they did not comprehend you Dina: certainly not Dina: youre a first Edward: for if they had they would have Dina: a first in a lot of things Dina: anyway we will sahre a splendorous life Dina: share Edward: you are with me Dina: i am with you Edward: as we are Edward: and i love you so much Dina: this is spendorous Dina: splendorous Edward: so touch me my love Edward: lets bring this child to light Dina: even if its only spiritual Dina: lo meshane Edward: let me slip my fingers under your as raise you off of me and slowly let you slide down me Dina: cause you are my child my father my brother my lover Edward: and you are eeshtee Dina: oh yes Edward: adoni Edward: anee ohav otcha Dina: come to me Edward: lid guck lee Dina: ve anee ohchevet otcha Edward: fuck me Dina Dina: fuck me Edward Edward: hold me let me fill you Dina: love me Dina: kiss me Dina: lick me Edward: suck me Edward: fuck me hold me Dina: come inside me Dina: taste me Dina: be one with me Edward: i am coming dear Edward: coming deep within you Edward: deep within side of you Edward: hold me Dina fuck me come Dina: my cunt throbs with joy at your cock entering me Dina: and sings Dina: not a lullaby Dina: aria Edward: i cannot get enough of you cannot come enough in you Edward: hold me Dina come around me Dina: i want to fuck for hours Edward: come Dina let me feel you moan and come Dina: and then rest with you still inside me Dina: and then feel you rising Dina: and then get wet again Dina: and then come Edward: and then wet/ hard Edward: stay in you hard over and over again Edward: and then sway, kiss suck fuck Edward: all day Edward: into the night Dina: oh my dear Dina: wake to drink water Dina: watch the moon rise and set Edward: i want to be welded with you for a week Dina: we will have a full moon Dina: and new years eve to inaugurate a new era Edward: hold me Dina let me feel you wet against me your cunt hair wet stuck against me Edward: legs around me nipples against me mouth in me arms around me Edward: new year new us new now Dina: oh Edward im so wet for you Dina: i can feel you inside me Dina: cock, mind, soul Edward: hand crisped with hand Edward: rub your wetness against me slap yourself against me slide yourself against me writhing Edward: hold me breath on me put your face on my chest and blow on me Dina: i had to touch myself now Edward: bite me nuzzle me Dina: so wet Edward: so strong Dina: so swollen Edward: rub your fingers in you wet them harder and harder Edward: touch your cunt your clit spread yourself wipe your fingers across yourself be mine Dina: oh Edward, how can you do this to me Dina: with mere wors Dina: words Edward: put your fingers in you feel all of you as me Edward: slide your fingers throughout your cunt Dina: it takes a full hand to equal your cock Edward: hold yourself as i would hold you Dina: inside Dina: i wish you could feel my wetness Edward: both hands i would hold you fingers tongue deep within you Edward: penetrating the wet tasting you drinking you Dina: keeptalking Edward Edward: licking you Edward: face in you nose in you tongue in you Edward: cock in you sliding head first slipping down the length of you coming in you rocking you stroking you Edward: hand touching clitoris cock thrusting in and out Edward: et hard mouth on mouth tongue in tongue cunt in cock Edward: oh Dina come come Dina come let me fuck you faster Dina faster harder deeper Edward: come Dina dream of me Edward: smell your cunt it power its wetness...you hot heaving breathing... Edward: more Dina more Edward: sweat tits cunt nipples cock...come Dina come Dina: sorry Edward, i let you by yourself, i couldnt help it c Dina: can you feel my orgasm Edward: let me come in you Dina with you feel you lock around me feel you orgasm gozo Edward: feel you throbing around my cock Dina: my heart is beating strongly Edward: feel your body heaving Edward: heart pounding Dina: oh god,im trembling all over Edward: feel the sweat on you cheek Edward: hold me Dina hold me tight Dina: ai, Edward Dina: i feellike im getting crazy Edward: let me wrap my arms around you and feel you shudder feel you come feel you come alive Dina: masturbating like this in front of a screen Edward: be crazy fuck me Dina: in the middleofthe aternoon Dina: hopw can you dothis to me from a distance Edward: would make an interesting scene cinematically Edward: love does it all Edward: willingness Dina: well you can write the script Edward: shared energies Dina: than please hire another actress, no? laugh Edward: it is so interestingly contemporary Dina: cause im shy Edward: we can move from the cyber courtship Dina: and modest Edward: the plane trip to the reality Dina: we will move Dina: soon make the move Dina: the cosmic leap Edward: i cant imagine the joy of your loving cock inside me Edward: i think dream will be 10% of reality not the other way round Dina: you know i dreamed of you all night Edward: i cant image the wet smell of a woman alive with all the softness and lines of a women Dina: hair touch Edward: what was the dream Dina: and in my dream i met this guy i havent seen for a while whose father owns mines in bahia, you know? Dina: i tried to know something about him this morning to no avail Dina: but i will discover where he is Edward: so you can come to brazil and negociate gems Dina: it was not a wet dream but a love dream Dina: cause im so wetdreaming with you awake Dina: i get satisfied Dina: for the day Edward: still there? Dina: panties wet Edward: i dont think of you as masturbating Dina: yeah, i was wondering where were you Dina: well, but im not Dina: im making love to you Dina: its that it gets so exciting i have to find a way out Dina: and you know Dina: i masturbate now and then alright Edward: i love that you do Dina: but its not that easy to come Edward: imagine Edward: and if i were at home speaking to you i would be masturbating Dina: sitting in an executive chair with my mother bubbling outside the door Dina: with you speaking to me Edward: yes, i wonder Dina: but soon we wont be needing this Dina: i dont know how can you say those things you say and sit still in a library Edward: the e mail you sent me may help tonight it is extraordinarily erotic Edward: focus Edward: all that is here is the image of you Dina: i am with you when i am typing Dina: so if you want this, i can write one with this intention in mind Dina: i am not in the library Edward: how lovely Edward: it was so fluid Edward: stream of consciousness Dina: cause its spontaneous Edward: i think that is litterarily what happens that it is stream of consciousness Dina: and thrutful Edward: and i am on this wave of thought consciousness Edward: and it has its own momentum energy reality Dina: and you know Edward: psychic cyber reality Dina: we make love in a myriad of forms Dina: and it is spontaneous really Dina: not planned Edward: how we dance Dina: you on top. me on top Edward: yes it is lovely Dina: taking a bath Edward: it is pure Dina: or sitting Edward: uncontrived Dina: the imagery in my mind is veeery vivid Dina: and we go from here to there and its for real Dina: like a real dance Edward: says something our abilities to communicate Dina: it is Dina: communicate yes Dina: my heart beats as hard as if you were here Dina: but not in the literary sense Dina: we can make poetry together Edward: my penis leaks with you Edward: but what moves us is something beneath the rhythm and word meaning Dina: poor lonely penis Edward: yes in the hightest literary sense where words transcend words and create a participatory reality Edward: poor lonely cunt Edward: a reality of sensation feelings and passion Edward: of real emotion Dina: oh Edward Dina: i wish i could blow my love upon you like the evening breeze Edward: write to me Dina: i wish i could send you a file filled with scent Edward: send the energy so i can feel it Dina: ummm Dina: can you feelit Edward: send me your panties Edward: wet with you Edward: an attachment Dina: give me your home address i will send you a premiere Dina: but then i will arrive first... Edward: it would not pass customs Dina: let me check Dina: moment Dina: customs will not open Dina: im checking Edward: why dont you take a picture of yourself if you have the camera that took the ring Dina: 72 hs Edward: let me see you sitting there at the desk Edward: smiling Dina: i dont have a camera Edward: well any old photographs of you in a bikini Dina: well, Edward, mitztaeret, too expensive for a fetiche Edward: or anything Dina: almost US$30 Edward: will wait Dina: we are off with pictures, remember Edward: what is a mitztaeret...or a fetiche Dina: serious, i was on the phone checking with the mail office Edward: no they were explicit pictures that were off Dina: mitztaeret, im sorry hebrew Dina: you dont know what a fetiche is Edward: i look at your picture on your web site and fantasize Dina: maybe fetish Edward: im begining to feel foolish visiting you over and over again Dina: your are not foolish Edward: fetish sure Dina: i was going to send you my panties in the mail Edward: i know. . Dina: but then im too practical to spend US$30 on this Edward: and suddenly i had a desire to see your face Dina: or would you like it veeery much Edward: to see your body Edward: to see your leegs Dina: if you want me to do this i can Dina: i have an account with the mail office Edward: no i dont Dina: well, soon Dina: you will have all of me Dina: you know, i tried to have lunch with your photo today Dina: ridiculous Dina: but then i gave up Edward: funny Dina: i dont like that photo either Dina: as much as you dont like mine Edward: no i dont have a lot of photos of me Dina: give me your home address Dina: i will think of something Edward: it is odd but i come to like your photos more and more Dina: im already spending so much money on this trip i want to spoil you a little Dina: i will send you a gift Dina: pre Dina Edward: a preview Dina: i really want to do this Dina: to send you something that belongs to me so you can keep it for me Dina: and you will have it before next friday Edward: i get my mail at ES Box 1892 St Augustine Florida 32094 Edward: common Dina...put scent of you on a piece of paper and send it in an envelope Edward: nothing more Edward: dont spend 30 bucks on this nonsense Edward: where the hell have you gone Dina: i will Dina: i was copying and pasting your address Dina: i have an account in the mail Dina: so the fun is worth it Dina: do you check your pobox daily Edward: yes why Dina: just to make sure Dina: do you have a cell phone Dina: hey Edward Dina: are you tere Dina: hey Edward, where have you gone Edward: yes im here Dina: so what happened Edward: had to do something Dina: what Edward: i went to wash my hands Dina: so Dina: now your hands are clean Edward: so je suis ici Edward: a euphemism Dina: whats your phone # Dina: or you dont have a phone either Edward: the only phone is at the store and though i receive messages i am there only on weekends Edward: no havent had a phone for two year Dina: you are a misterious man Edward: shall i get a phone Dina: so what am i going to do if you dont show up Edward: it is odd when you cut yourself off from civilization Dina: thats why i wanted a phone Edward: 924-825-0992 Dina: why did you do this Dina: where is this number Edward: after katherine i felt like crawling in a hole Dina: this katherine Dina: i dont know if i appreciate her Dina: how could she do this to you Edward: that is my brothers store...he is there everyday im there on the weekends Dina: can i call you tomorrow to say hi Edward: shes an artist and part of being an artist is to be mad Dina: weeeelll Dina: im an artist Edward: you are an artist to Edward: yes in the afternoon 2:00 our time Dina: so whats the point Dina: will you answer the phone or somebody else Edward: yes but im not a junkie fucked up in the head self rationalizing self pitying selfindulging human being Edward: i will be the only one there tomorrow Dina: oh, i see Dina: you can sing for me Edward: laugh Dina: but a short song, please Edward: she follows her muse Edward: yes how much does it cost to call brazil Dina: well, let her go in peace, no Dina: you are out of the hole, anyway Edward: maybe i will call you what is your number Dina: 55 21 28292795 Dina: 55 is brazil Edward: yes you have sent me to the surface Dina: im afraid i wont understnad you on phone as well as in writing Dina: i need hands maybe to speak english in person Dina: at least on the beginning Dina: i havent spoke for so long, english i mean Dina: about 6 years or so Edward: you are terribly funny Dina: why Edward: your english on the computer is excellent Dina: i know, maybe im just worried about nothing Edward: do you have a program that corrects your grammar and spelling Dina: anyway, if i dont understand you 100% on the phone it doesnt matter Dina: i just want to hear your voice Edward: i have heard your voice in reality and it is lovely Dina: do you think i have time for this while typing Dina: really Edward: ill see what i can do Dina: i have only 2 hands and 1 brain Edward: time for what while you are typing Dina: spelling and grammar Dina: no, i write good english alright Dina: so you call me or i call you Dina: your home or mine Edward: it is excellent why you would doubt your linguistic ability is a curiosity Dina: oh dear, im insecure Edward: cyber space impinging reality Dina: you dont know, i have someone here very skilled typing for me and doing instant translation Dina: my alterego Dina: i mean Dina: she is a treasure Dina: my Edward's Dina ego Dina: i mean Edward's Dina persona Dina: the other, you, l Dina: know Edward: yes you are my personae Edward: the one who is proficient in english and cybersex Dina: Dina person- I Dina: so who call whom Edward Edward: call me at two tomorrow...maybe ill call you before Dina: ok then Edward: two my time Edward: ok is that goodbye Dina: oh no Dina: im not going anywhere if you dont have to go Edward: no im here for the afternoon Dina: i was just saying that if we talk on the phone i wont have my weekend punishment Dina: 2 days without you Edward: ah thats right Dina: its tough you know Dina: though i cannot spend three hours making love to you on the phone Edward: why is it tough Dina: oh, no, please Dina: have the endorphins so addicted you Edward: have you become an addict Dina: its tough to be without you Dina: im an addict to your love Dina: and i cant make love sound here anyway Edward: its the endorphins Dina: you know im not alone Dina: no dear its you Dina: not endorphins Edward: yes screaming would probably cause confusion Dina: am i not entitled to miss you Dina: but im not complaining, no Edward: i miss you too Dina Edward: wake to thinking of talking to you Edward: wake to thinking of embracing you Dina: you know when you disappeared the first weekend Edward: i am addicted to you can feel the endorphins rise as i wake Dina: then i was desperate alright Dina: i didnt know what happened Dina: then i got veeery angry Dina: bah, fuck, another male being just the same Dina: fuck him, i said Dina: and you know, before that i had a commitment to the goddess not to say bad words Edward: there are no bad words only bad thoughts Dina: i have been many many years without fuck or shit Dina: but i was soooo angry, so what the fuck Edward: they are words like seasoning Edward: but you were so kind when we spoke Dina: i got free from the commitment and really cursed you Edward: no mention of the anger Dina: well, i was relieved when you showed up on monday, you know Edward: tyger tyger burning brite Dina: i opened a big smile upon receiving your email and forgot all about it Dina: the rage, i mean Dina: i laughed a lot when i noticed why in fact you used to disappear on weekends Edward: i am if nothing else Dina desperately sincere Dina: perhaps a hidden wife, no... Dina: i know my love you are sincere Dina: i know now Dina: every word you say (no matter the meaning) Dina: makes me more and more sure of you Dina: but of course it was not like this on our first days Dina: specially after you made love to me so hastilly Edward: hastilly? Dina: oh yes, dear, on our second hour or so Edward: all you seemed to want was cyber sex (laughing) Dina: or does not this word exist Dina: in a hurry i mean Edward: is that too soon Dina: whats the use now Edward: i wasnt timing it Edward: it was the movement of it the intimacy of it Dina: it was wonderful that it happened Dina: but i wondered when you disappeared, get it Dina: since the first time it was so strong Dina: im not complaining, no Edward: thank you for sharing your perspective Dina: just telling you about my senseless fears Dina: long gone fears, my love Edward: dont get messed up Dina: now je suis tranquile when you are gone saturdays and sundays Dina: although lonely and longing for you Dina: no addiction included Edward: i too miss you constantly Edward: hunger to be with you Edward: be in your mind Edward: be with your mind your consciousness Edward: you give me great delight Edward: my last name is Schwarcz Edward: isaac is my hebrew name Edward: ae is pronounced i in latin Dina: so you must tell me your full name for the mail Edward: so aesaac is isaac Edward: Edward Schwarcz Dina: wow, beauuutiful Dina: sounds like a senator Edward: something new Dina: well, you are really from royalty, no Dina: being a levite and all Edward: never thought of it Edward: put to know ones ancient father is interesting Edward: a product of the historical product of the dna and rna of the tribe of levi Dina: thats what you said, no, son of jacob the levite, or was it symbolic or something Dina: i took it for real Edward: no i am isaac son of jacob the levite Dina: so are you a levi or not itzhak ben jacob Edward: yitchak ben jacob ha levi Dina: wow Edward: my name in israel for two years was yitzchak Dina: how will you marry a plebeian Dina: you know, itzhak is my granddad hebrew name Edward: intellectually and very carefully Dina: alberto cohen Edward: ah royalty Dina: but not the tribe you know Edward: we are but servants to the cohaneem Dina: no cohanim, no Dina: so lets pretend you are my slave Dina: servant Dina: im a fake cohen Edward: i am here to serve you my dear Dina: so Edward Edward: why would anyone adopt the name cohen if they werent Edward: so Dina Zisel Dina: well, he changed to cohen when arrived in brazil Dina: its very common Dina: zisel is from my father Dina: you know Dina: i loved my father so much and love his name too Dina: makes me proud Dina: and i make i joke with my wise ancestor, Rabbi Simcha Zisel Dina: do you know him Dina: my uncle simcha Edward: simcha no Dina: simcha zisel Dina: the tzadik Edward: cous ach tah Dina: fuck you too Edward: no it is an israeli expression that means holy cow Edward: among other things Dina: i know, not israeli but arab... no? Edward: like when you hit your finger with a hammmer Dina: yeah, but is a bad word Edward: yes you cannot swear in hebrew i said israeli Edward: its as bad as it gets Edward: why should i know him Edward: help me out here Edward: give me a hint Dina: let me guess, he is a character in many jewish stories Dina: moment/ google Dina: be right back Dina: well, look for my uncle simcha if you want to marry me Edward: did he live in new jersey Dina: are you serious Mr Edward Dina: he´s not my relative thats just a family joke Edward: merde Edward: you are very funny a genuine wise guy Edward: how drole Dina: Edward, i love you, you know Edward: so it seems Dina: dont worry im not as intellectual as i seem to be Dina: never read nietchze, or hegel Edward: i love the intelllect in you Edward: i have never been with anyone so similar to myself Dina: and ulisses is asleep near my bed waiting for me to have the courage to open it Dina: but ive seen a lot in so many years Dina: i was very hungry for culture Edward: so often i leave the world behind watching them how could they be unconscious Dina: so i watched all the old movies Dina: who? Edward: you are a self creating intellect Dina: from aurora to caligari Edward: you are an intellect Dina: and fred astaire and boggie Edward: you do not have to read anything to be an intellect Dina: and then fellini, bergman Dina: fassbinder Edward: ive never liked fellini...almost none of it Edward: intellectual drivel Dina: well why? Dina: i loved it Edward: which Edward: the imagery the cinematography the plot Dina: the only one i didnt like was this one with giulietta and mastroianni already old, it was very sad Edward: what Dina: i loved fellini Edward: i find him self indulgent Dina: he was light Edward: yes i know that one Dina: now we find somethings we dont have in common, o? picasso, fellini Edward: always the same imagery of the church on an on the same gripes the same criticism Dina: thanks god we are not clones Edward: i like the japenese film woman of the dunes Dina: oh yes Edward: are you familiar with it Dina: try this kitano i told you Dina: i loved that movie Dina: and all of kurosawa Edward: i know that is why i mentioned it Edward: i have no doubt we agree on great film Edward: what is great Dina: specially the death parade, did you see this Edward: but not what is said to be great Dina: i dont remember the name, not good for names Edward: no the death parade Edward: reminds me of the seventh seal Dina: its a kurosawa film with many episodes Dina: oh o, seventh seal is bergman Dina: long time ago all these films Edward: i do so love film Dina: this one is a death parade a joyfull parade full of music Dina: japanese tradition Edward: i could watch film with you all weekend Edward: lay naked in bed spooned together Edward: covered in quilt and sheet Edward: hugging Edward: kissing Edward: what a lovely fantasy/demi reality Edward: ou est toi Edward: ques ce que te fait? Dina: have to go to the bathroom Edward: lovely Dina: let me tell you what i have for the weekend Dina: see if you like Edward: if we are serious and it seems that it is i am going to have to put together some kind of financial dynamic Dina: daniel auteil in an Edward sarde film l'adversaire Edward: for i so like being with you Dina: colateral tom cruise, uhhh, iknow this is crap Edward: colateral probably Dina: and bobby jones Edward: daniel auteil i am not familiar with Dina: wellll, not a brilliant weekend Dina: boby jones what is that Dina: its a french actor, ii like him Edward: no but i would love to spend it with you. Dina: bobby jones is the true story of a golfer Edward: what great fun in bed Dina: last weekend was very good, the films, i mean Dina: i always rent four Edward: oh golf. Edward: four sounds good Dina: last week i had great fun with harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban Edward: lets get naked and turn on the flics Dina: not for serious guys like you, but so much fun Edward: i want to see the potter things Dina: did you never? Edward: no im a fantasist Edward: look how good i am at it Dina: oh, the second is far better then the first you know Edward: no never Dina: directed by alfonso cuaron Edward: so as wife you will not betray me Dina: marvellous witchcraft scenes Edward: i dont want to get into this again Dina: only with the image of you, no? Edward: witch craft great fun Dina: im 100% fidelle Edward: bon Dina: into what Edward: grief betrayal Dina: oh dear, rest assured Dina: i wish you could hear me laugh Dina: i dont cheat Dina: never Dina: it can happen that for some reason we dont go along god forbid Dina: and part Dina: but cheating never Dina: its not in my nature Dina: im honest and clean and dedicated Dina you know, i was betrayed too Edward: how out of intellectual curiosity could it happen "that for some reason we dont get along" Dina: in my first marriage for sure, the bitch used to call me at home to disturb me Edward: what madness Dina: well, dear, you are the first to say this, no? Dina: that we risk not liking each other in real life which i profoundly doubt Edward: yes that is why i am commenting on it because you protested so vociferously of its impossibility Edward: i am glad for your sanity Dina: thats what i feel, but then there is a slight possibility, always is, you think im not conscious of that, i just dont give it a thought Dina: cause i desire so much to be with you Dina: to love you Dina: to desire you and fuck you for the rest of my life Dina: and see silly ovies in bed Dina: movies Dina: and have dinner in a quiet restaurant by the sea Dina: with some red wine Dina: and run at seashore in the morning Dina: and plan a house Dina: and play Dina: and laugh Dina: and love Dina: ad meah ve essrim minimum Edward: i want to take you in my arms and hug you hold you kiss you Dina: good Edward, its time Dina: when fear comes in is time to kiss Dina: to hug Edward: je n'ai pas peur Dina: well, i have a bit, but you know Dina: i was talking to my friend this morning Dina: and told her Dina: that whatever comes to be Edward: what? Edward: you have some fear? Dina: you already made me soooo happy these past 20 days or so Dina: well, dear, i do Dina: what do you think Edward: it is so increadible that it has only been three weeks or so Dina: take a plane and fly 10 hours to meet my soulmate its awesome no Dina: its a biiiig move Edward: yes act of faith Dina: so fear has its share Dina: but i dont care Dina: for i dont have a choice Dina: i will send you a picture of me that i like Dina: so you can have it at home Dina: its not new, maybe 2 years or so Dina: in my birthday Edward: merci Edward: i shall look forward to any hint of you Edward: sanity Dina: the fact that i have some fear does not mean im not madlyin love with you Dina: surprised by the existence of you Dina: which i suspected Dina: but already doubted after such a long search Dina: how can you be so tailored for me Dina: designed for me Dina: to my liking Edward: yes it is strange fortuitous that you and i should find such symmetry in each other...such compliment ...note to my cord Dina: and so poetic on top of it Edward: i do like you Dina: really, Edward Edward: enjoy your company Dina: words are not enough Dina: a poor tool Dina: am pleased that you are pleased with my company Dina: when i start to think about it i stilldont understand how did this happen Dina: a kind of miracle Dina: the way we met Dina: and think, you costed me US$35!!!! (biiiig laugh) Dina: i bought my soulmate at the cybermarket for US$35 what a bargain Edward: it was your picture...how it piqued my heart...memories of other loves ...and your words how open vulnerable innocent...intelligent poetic...how could i not "knock on your door" Dina: well, i dont know Dina: in the middle of so many others Dina: well, anyway Edward: it would take a very unusual woman indeed to be able to fathom me...intercourse with me...open herself to me without fear Dina: too late for regrets (laugh) Dina: well, im unusual alright. so do you, no? Edward: let me disconnect for a minute im having trouble with the screen Edward: im back Edward: sorry Edward: are you there Dina: hello Edward: ou est toi Edward: i would say rare Dina: so, are you back already Dina: i went to take some water Dina: now you Edward Dina: gone? Dina: rare what Dina: Edward, hei Edward Edward: Dina? shall i sign off? Dina: why Edward: i was waiting for you for 5 min Edward: are you tired Dina: Edward? Dina: are you there Edward: yes dear, im talking to you and you dont answer Dina: something is happening Dina: i had to reconnect to see if i could solve the problem Edward: did you Edward: is it working or are there problems with the line Dina: now i think its ok Edward: bon Edward: take off your clothes and let me fuck you Dina: ok, love Edward: let me lift your blouse off and hold you in my arms and kiss you Dina: take my clothes off if you wish Edward: let me feel the warm skin of you smooth against me Dina: uhhhh, gooood Edward: feel you against me Edward: touch me Edward: grab me Edward: rub my body against you arousing Edward: hold you so strongly Edward: grab your breast with my left hand and hold the nipple with my fingers Dina: i feel the strenght and gentleness of your hand Dina: caressing me Dina: as you look at me Edward: take your pants off slowly around your waist revealing your cunt as it slips by your hips your knees your legs your feet Edward: transparently Edward: put my hands on you slide across your breast like wind Edward: touch your back and glide upon the form of your buttocks Dina: smooth hands Dina: as i lie in delight Edward: slip my hand between your crack and come around and enter you from underneath with my fingers warm and wet Edward: let me put my fingers in your wet cunt Dina: yes Edward, i can feel you Dina: touch me Edward: hold you dear to me Edward: suck me please with your tongue Edward: put my fingers all in you Dina: i lower your head gently to my crotch Edward: suck me Edward Edward: let me kiss you with my lips and press my tongue on you Dina: taste me Dina: eat me Edward: licking the juice from you as you drip lap my tongue the length of you Edward: touch the top of you where your rose lives and bite her genntly with my tongue then plunge my tongue down to the inner of you down the slipper walls of delight Dina: ai, deus, that was veeery good Dina: Edward, m love Edward: into the core of you into the hollow of you feel you clamp against my tongue Dina: i felt it strongly Edward: as i lick and lap at you Edward: lift your knees and spread your legs revealing your cunt wet pink throbbingswollen Dina: you bet, throbbing Edward: bend and touch you with the tip of my tongue lick the wet from your pussy Dina: look at me Dina: suck me Edward: lap at you like a cat milk Dina: as i stroke your hair Edward: suck you slurp with sucking sound suck the tissues of your vagina into my mouth Dina: holding your face next to me Edward: bite you lip you taste you Dina: huuummm Dina: oh god, Edward Edward: hold me Dina fuck me fuck me this last hour before shabbat Edward: let me fuck you slip my dick inside of you enter you fill you Dina: here is the shabat already Edward: come in you mate with you breed with you Edward: love you Dina: can we do this Dina: i love you too, Edward, come inside me Dina: to the core of me Dina: stab me with your manhood Edward: it is chagallian to make love on the sabbath he who lays with a women is married to her Dina: urgently Edward: let me lance you slam me into you slip down your wet cannal Dina: old me Dina: fuck me Edward: fuck you Dina writhe beneath me grab me grab me with your hungry cunt Dina: press me Dina: as i fuck you Dina: with my hungry fish its big mouth Edward: let me slip myself into you again and again... deeper and deeper Dina: sucking Edward: hold your ass with my hands put my fingers in you Edward: spread you Edward: hold me next to you Edward: suck me Dina fuck me Edward: let me wrap my arms around you in gymnasts grip Edward: hold you kiss you suck your neck your shoulders your breasts Edward: now and panting Edward: full with the milk of you Dina: Edward, fill my orifices with finger cock tongue Dina: nipples hard Edward: Dina fuck me fuck me Dina: seal me Dina: oh Edward fuck me hard Edward: let me plunge my fingers cock and tongue in your cunt your ass your mouth your eyes Edward: let me kiss you and fuck you Dina: switch off the world around me Edward: Dina breath with me come with me Dina: oh god, Edward, this is too good to stand Edward: im coming my love Dina: i moan Dina: cry scream Dina: loudly Dina: you make me mad Edward: Dina let me hold your hips your ass your cunt with my hands fill you with my cock come in you fill you with fluid Edward: over and over again Edward: tremble around me Dina: oh Edward Edward: feel the waves of orgasm around you kiss me Dina: fill my mouth with your tongue Dina: you get better and better each time Edward: kiss me grab my ass with your hands Dina: oh Edward, my love Edward: slip your hands around my cock while im in you Edward: grab me hold be Edward: squeeze every drop of semen into you Dina: yes Dina: im drinking your semen inside of me Edward: feel how i am seeled inside of you Dina: fecundate Edward: making light Edward: you give me so much pleasure Edward: how the mouth of the fish like lips kiss me suck me Dina: do i? Dina: oh.. Edward: hold me in your arms and let me hold you Edward: yeees, big, GIANT YES Edward: hold your face against mine Edward: tight Dina: my darling, i feel i have to go Edward: do not let me out of you Dina: i will carry you with me Edward: with all the muscles in your cunt squeeze me Edward: speek to me Dina: i will dream of you Dina: desire you all night long Dina: go to bed and stay awake Dina: thinking of you Dina: feeling your body pressed against me Dina: your leg over my thigh Edward: let me lay between the sheets with you speak to you softly as lovers do Dina: so i will wait for your dearest voice tomorrow... Edward: arm over your arm touching your breast Dina: as much painful as it is i must go... Edward: good night Dina Dina: good night my love.. Dina: i assume we will not type tomorrow...

Dec 10 Dina mikva

Edward, my love i felt you were sad to say goodbye this afternoon. i was sad too, edward, i love you so much, but i had to tend to my mother, you know. she is in a deep crisis due to my trip. but then she had a good idea, out of her madness: she wants to stay with my brother, so this is far better than staying here alone with the maid. i hope he will accept it. i've have been taking care of her for 6 years now, so i think he can't refuse to stay a week. you know, my love i'm so tired. i'm sorry to share my problems with you, my love, but then i'm so overwhelmed. i'm so perfectly happy with you and so miserable with my mother. but then as i lost control i entered the shower, and stayed there for a long time, feeling the water wash away my pain, my longing, a cleansing ritual. my mikva preparing myself for you. i washed my hair thoroughly, lots of water, lots of shampoo and conditioner. then my face with my aromatherapy sensual soap thinking of you. then the sponge soaked with soap along my arms, first the left, then the right. then my neck getting wet and longing for you. then down the chest, around the breasts, the left, then the right, then the nipples. lots of water, lots of cleansing, washing away pain, past, plots. and then down to my crotch, pubic hair washed thoroughly, preparing for love. then butt, back, behind the ears, then legs, left then right, ouroborus tatoo, feet. lots of water, preparing myself for you. then back to my room, a fresh night breeze outside the window, scissors and i cut a curl of my hair, a smallest curl of my pubic hair. then some lipstick to put my stamp on a napkin, kissing you in my heart and soul. then to the bed naked, legs apart, to touch, make myself wet at the thought of you till i'm dripping to soak a pair of panties, my tribute to you, and your wonderful love, and your beautiful, passionate body... then a feather, my wings, my power to your hands entrusted across the long sky path the keeps me apart from you... my vision, my contacts (that i need back when i'm with you) for i don't need to see if i can't look at you... than signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours...

Dec 11 Dina inventory inventory a picture of me making a joke back in 2002 (dedicated to my beloved Edward) a box with my face cream 3 plastic bags to tear open containing: a napkin with my kiss a curl of pubic hair a curl of head hair a pair of used panties a shamanic charm made in 1994 (feather, leather, beads) a sample from my work Clipfit piercing folder (in Portuguese) my contacts, my vision (give me back when i'm with you my deep love for you goes as energy signed, sealed, delivered... i'm yours!

Dec 11 Dina kites

Dear Edward, check to see a 2005 premiere (for us, i mean, kites and all) (Dina sings a hebrew song: bashanah, haba'ah, neshev al hamirpesset... and sends a picture "Kites" by Brazilian painter Portinari)

Love/ Dina

Saturday dec 11

Dina: hei, i wasn't expecting you Dina: i almost didn't see you calling Dina: the sound is off and i was in bed watching a film Dina: only a moment Edward: dont let me interrupt you Edward: lovely mail Dina: no dear, fuck the film Dina: you are a loooot better Edward: fuck you Dina: come then Dina: mr. voice Edward: i will speak to you in an hour or two Edward: will you be there Dina: oh, thriiiling Dina: yes Edward: $4 for 15 minutes Dina: so how did you like to talk? Edward: it was lovely Dina: well, i think from here is cheaper, you know, 30 cents the minute Dina: no, the same Edward: keep your eyes Edward: its worth a lot more Dina: don't you want them Edward: lovely mikva Dina: wow, that was terrible, you know, terrible crisis Edward: read your letter of eros over and over again Dina: so eros its on his way Dina: by snail mail Edward: the letter where you are riding me Dina: yes, i wrote so much without answer, i'm a bit lost Dina: we talked after this already Edward: up and down up and down sitting on me Dina: so did it help Edward: it pleased me and took my breath away Dina: oh, edward Dina: i cant wait any longer to be with you Dina: i desire you sooo mush Dina: much Edward: it will take a whole lot more for me to be able to sustain an orgasm Dina: ok. so keep yourself for me Dina: take good care of yourself Dina: until we meet Edward: it would be lovely to lay between your legs this afternoon and watch the movie with you Dina: oh yes Dina: i dreamed of you the whole night long Dina: and pictured you here with me Edward: hold you in my arms propped against the pillow watching cinema Dina: my head leaned on your should, your arms around me Dina: shoulder Dina: oh, forget it Dina: cheek to cheek lips to ear Dina: we wouldnt be able to watch the film anyway Edward: yeh i know ill talk to you soon Dina: only in 10 years time more or less Edward: joy the rest of the film Dina: do you have to go Edward: yeh Edward: dont want to Dina: ok, then Dina: will wait Dina: love you Edward: but i can breath in to your ear this afternoon Edward: l'heet tra owtt Edward: love edward Dina: so please do, i will hear you, be here for you

Edward calls... Dina and Edward talk on the phone for the first time... dec 11 Dina WOW

Edward, speechless. What a voice, oh god in heavens. Hodu l'adonai ki tov... I now have this voice to tell me all those wonderful things you write...You know, each step a new, stronger wave of passion. Wave, no. TSUNAMI. Oh, edward. Voice, name, so many revelations this weekend and each one better than the other. I will get even crazier as i make love to you from now on. Imagine on body, your voice on my ear, your lips on my mouth. You will still kill me with so much joy, my love. Your voice will touch me from now on, caress me, now the mind has a voice, the hand has a voice, the cock has a voice, oh, powerful. I will say no more for now, cheri, for all the world around me disappeared when you talked to me, it's now only you and i spinning around the universe. An that's one more of the myriad of splenderous reasons why i love you.

PS add a verse: They are a whistle, you are THE VOICE... dec 11 Dina do you want to make some money edward, my love, we have written 400 pages of cyberlove (452, discounting some editing, 400) do you want to make money? lets publish (we still have 2 weeks to go (laugh) i will love you for muuuuuch more than 452 pages. dec 11 Edward re: wow henaini Dina... you are mad...sending me your eyes...poetic mais un peu feu...how delightful your mikva...400 pages mon dieu ...un peu uncroyable... but apparently you are the Muse and you blow through my ear with great wind...sirens call...lilith...je t'aime...you ignite my being...the ecstatic...the beatific...i kind of idyllism of romantic love...i will speak with you...come into my arms...warm me this chilly st augustine morning...put your lips to my ears and whisper...embrace me for je t'embrace...edward dec 111 Dina eyes don't worry, dear, i'm not blinding myself for you. on the contrary. you make my eyes wide open and my vision clearer

Sunday dec 12

Dina: hei, edward, what happened Edward: hello Dina: edward? Dina: i have not been able to talk to you today Edward: my brother has been in the store all day Edward: and i am not about to talk to you with him present Edward: i am your afternoon has been a pleasant one and that the film was tres amusant Edward: ou est toi? Edward: are you there? Dina: yes, anad you called or i would have been worried Edward: so you are not working? Dina: i'm glad you called, i mean, my typing was eaten Edward: i took a break for a few moments Dina: oh, so, domage Dina: at least i heard your voice Dina: ut never mind Edward: yours too Dina: mine too what Dina: i want to whisper in your ear Edward: oh Dina: tell you i love you Edward: that would have been awesome Edward: your voice Dina: and you know, i've been alone all afternoon Dina: my brother took my mother Edward: would have like you to whisper in my ear Edward: bravo Dina: oh edward Edward: qua? Dina: many things happened the weekend i will tell you tomorrow Edward: i love it when you say oh edward Dina: the oh edward was about whisperind and all Edward: yeah, you feel me horny, no Dina: yes Edward: strange in my cock Dina: thats how i get instantly Edward: my cock loves you Edward: the sound of you Edward: the joy of you Dina: my cunt loves you too Dina: and my hands Dina: and my eyes Edward: you fill me with come Dina: and my mouth Dina: and my heart and soul Edward: with love Edward: im getting harder and harder Dina: oh, edward, do you have time for this Edward: im raging now Dina: raging why Edward: i have time to speak to you Edward: i am describing the effect of hearing your voice Dina: you know i tried to call and the answering machine was on Edward: rage-ing Dina: robert here Dina: before you called, i mean Edward: oh that was you you called when i called you Edward: same time same being Dina: i thought you knew when i did not leave a message Dina: and 2 minutes after that you called back Edward: no same syncronicity Dina: wow Edward: you are alone Dina: yes Edward: let me come to you Edward: and ravage you Dina: oh, edward Dina: you have to kiss me first Edward: jump on you on the bed Edward: this is play Dina: come dear, i've been waiting Edward: i will kiss you now Dina: yes, i feel your mouth on mine Edward: we are so connected physically Edward: hard Dina: physically?????!!!! Edward: i love to kiss you Dina: we are so connected, period Edward: sexually Dina: yes Dina: yes, my top quality # 1 one and only lover Edward: let me slowly kiss you over your whole body Dina: now when we type i hear you voice in my mind automatically Edward: would have loved to speak to you today Edward: whispered to you Edward: wet you with my voice Dina: so i hear you as you say dina i love you kissing my body all over Dina: can feel it Edward: feel your body Dina: this voice thing is awesome Dina: at some point i thought you was exagerating about your voice Edward: love to speak to you Dina: but then you were not Dina: reality exceeded image Dina: so i long to taje your lovely cock in my hands Dina: take Edward: i am really good with my voice...a poet without a voice is a flower without a scent Edward: poetry is spoken Dina: well, pity most poets, no Edward: yes take it Edward: poetry is danced Edward: it is yours Edward: it is the sound of it that penetrates Dina: oh, edward Edward: sets the body to feeling not just the mind Dina: let me kiss you passionately Edward: yes Dina: yes, voice is essential Edward: what passion tsunami Dina: didnt get you Dina: are you asking Edward: so few poets can give voice to their works Edward: the feeling i have for you is like tsunami...coming and coming in infinite waves Dina: do you write poetry regularly (licking your cock sweetly) Edward: energy flowing through me infinitely Edward: only to you Edward: what poetry? Dina: only to me? Edward: the words i speak to you you should hear spoken by me Dina: oh, dear i will Edward: they would set you to trembling Edward: yes only you Dina: you will kill me with this Edward: it has been a long time since i have let my voice out Dina: making love to you, hearing your voice and touching your body all at the same time Edward: katherine was the last two years ago Dina: well, i havent sand a note for more than 6 years Dina: snag Dina: sang Edward: speaking softly into your ear...je t'aime...anee ohev otach Dina: now i woke up singing Dina: go on singing along the day Edward: yes i can hear your voice Dina: and you bet sometimes i sing while sleeping, when i'm with you in dream Edward: fill me with warmth...joy Dina: oh, edward, i cant wait no longer Edward: feel bliss Dina: to touch you in body Edward: you were kissing my cock Edward: whispering to me Dina: to kiss you passionately mouth in mouth Edward: tasting me Dina: yes, my love, sucking slowly Edward: yes... Edward: how is the animal between your legs Dina: talking to him, telling him how much i love you with my tongue, teeth, whole mouth Dina: throbbing Dina: com inside Edward: the koi in the pond of your cunt Dina: whats koi Edward: i love slipping into you Dina: yes my love, i'm here for you Edward: an ornamental japanese fish Dina: completely open, wet Edward: oh Edward: very beautiful very expensive Dina: well, i give you mine, from heart Dina: take it Edward: spread your legs and let the wind of my breath waft across you Dina: enjoy it Dina: as much as you like Edward: kiss you be in you Edward: wet throbbing coming Dina: oh edward Edward: holding you naked against me Dina: hold me tight my love Edward: oh dina Dina: make me forget it will take so long still Edward: i am squeezing you till i crush you to my chest Edward: flatten your breasts against me Dina: our coming together will enlighten half world with the energy Edward: squeeze the wind out of you Edward: lot of energy amazing Dina: yes, squeeze me Dina: stab me with your cock Dina: kiss me Edward: let me feel your hot cold smooth against me Edward: thrust it in you Edward: thick wet veined hungry for you Dina: let me suck you strongly with my cunt Dina: mouth on mouth tongue in tongue Edward: hungry, thirsty cunt/ Edward: suck me do not let me go Edward: grab me connect with me Dina: never, my love, never let you go again Edward: do not let me go Dina: please edward, stay with me Dina: sway with me Edward: dina i would stay for hours. Dina: scream with me Edward: let us scream together Dina: yes, my love, but i know you have to go... Edward: and awaken the world Dina: deep sigh, you know Edward: i will speak with your for hours tomorrow Edward: wet with you kiss you come with you Dina: ok, i will dream with you until then, in sleep, in wale, in cunt in heart Dina: wake Dina: so my love this is our painful farewell Dina: for today Edward: mouth to mouth i kiss you wet good by draw your lips with me tear at them in good bye take them with me Edward: i do not wish to part this Dina: goodbye my love... enjoy your afternoon... Edward: love edward

Dec 12 Dina oh, edward

Oh, Edward It's been two hours since we hang up and i can't stop sighing deeply and repeating: oh, Edward Among all the amazing things we've been through lately, no one compares with this airport issue (flight love included). I still can barely believe it. And this multimedia afternoon, your voice repeating my name. Oh, Edward. Again, creme de la creme. You are so special, so beyond description or imagination and i love you so... each day more and even more strongly.

Dec 12 Dina family ties

Dear edward Much happened here this weekend, so i better tell you by email. My brother finally had the opportunity to witness one of my mother's crises and was frightened. Until then, in a way it was like i was exaggerating or something, since she always seemed fine with him. Now he understood the situation and started to be of some help. My sister-in-law called me and i had the opportunity to tell her how i fell, what i've been through for the last 6 years. I told her how i organized mom's life financially (if not for me she would be almost ruined by now) and now she has a solid fund, how i got to this psychiatrist who is a fine man, etc. I feel like my mission here is accomplished and it's not my task to keep responsible for years to come. Sis was understanding and willing to help, and i also made clear there was a possibility i would move out of the country soon. The talk was far better than i expected and i feel much lighter now. Free. My mother came to me in her threatening way to tell me "i know you have a boyfriend" and "why don't you go and live with him". So in a way, somewhere inside the madness she gave me her permission to go. Which is not needed, but welcomed. Only a blind and deaf (or mad) person would not notice that something very important is happening to me. She cries and screams, i sing... I also told my nephews (16 and 12) about you. This msn thing is funny. I didn't use to have much contact with them and now they want to type with me all the time, so i tell them about my life. I feel i will be much closer to them if i'm living abroad!!!??? So we can type, and see each other through a webcam... Funny, indeed. They live about 100 mts from here and i 've never been so close to them as now via msn. Guess!!! Well, this is what i wanted to tell you. Sky is clearing among heavy clouds and some sun is showing up. You can figure out what a revolution you allowed me to make. In 1 month only my life had a tremendous upgrade. And there is more, i hope... Much more to come. And i'm grateful for this. And i love you very much, edward. Hope to talk to you later, for hours, as promised. with love/ D

Monday dec 13

Dec 13 Dina horoscope (fits, no? phone and all)

Greetings Dina --

Here is your horoscope for Monday, December 13:

You'll have plenty of energy -- no doubt about it -- but do save some for tonight. Promptly at quitting time, put down the calculator, turn off the computer and reach for the phone. It's officially play time!

Edward: it was lovely to hear from you this morning Edward: i listened to you singing. . .yafey mahode Edward: truly lovely Dina: thank you

Dec 13 Edward ou are you i was just on line with you but then you disconnected. . .i will keep checking love e

Dina: hei, edward Edward: dina Dina: i had a memory problem Dina: couldnt fix it Edward: good morning Dina: was afraid you wouldnt wait Dina: but now its ok Edward: i left you an e mail saying i would Dina: so lets start from the beginning Edward: it was lovely to hear you singing this morning Dina: kites? Edward: yes Dina: i thought you already heard it yesterday Dina: so we have a good plan for the new year Edward: no. i was without ear phones Edward: sound Dina: oh, i see Dina: i like this song Dina: although its related to war Edward: i liked hearing you sing Dina: it can be used in other situations, no Edward: yes a lullaby Dina: now that i heard your voice is more difficult to sing, no Edward: or a song one might sing to a lover Edward: i regard you as an equal Dina: so thats my choice, singing to my lover Edward: equally talented Edward: good Dina: any time Dina: so how was your sunday Edward: talking to you was lovely Dina: i want to try something here, so if a disconnect by accident can you wait Edward: i read your e mail this morning on your mother Dina: yes Dina: moment Dina: are we still connected? Edward: still Dina: oh, g o o d Dina: i learned to be free of intruders Dina: so about mum Edward: sounds like a good idea Edward: yes Dina: what, free of intruders? Edward: yes good to be free of them Edward: invaders? Edward: you dont want any intruders around Edward: by definition you dont want them Dina: yeah, now i can talk without being disturbed every minute Dina: so i'm all yours Edward: yes that would be nice Edward: be mine Dina: i am Edward: i know Dina: i feel i'm dealing with so many issues at once Edward: you are Dina: but i have enough energy and good solutions Dina: a new synthesis Dina: so everything is on the move Edward: yes they are Dina: good feeling Edward: your brother acted quickly Dina: i loved to hear from you yesterday, even if it was just a moment Edward: it was nice to see such decisive intelligence Dina: yes, he acted quickly after 30 years of indifference Edward: the other day you apparently were on the line while i was dialing you...that is why you got the recording Edward: guilt Edward: love Dina: who are talking about Dina: (guilt, love) Edward: your brothers motivation after 30 years Edward: yeah, you know Edward: i am merely sounding the bottom to hear the echo Dina: he was with my father at the accident so he was spared from everything for the last 30 years Dina: but now its the time for him to assume his position and he's not disappointing Dina: todah lael Edward: what did his being at the accident have to do with anything? Dina: he is a good man and yes, very inteligent Dina: because all the family assumed that he was traumatized Dina: he was 17 Dina: so he was protected by everyone never facing the issue Edward: that is what psychiatrists are for Dina: and if one has a chance to escape from my mother, ok, thats what one will do Edward: was he physically hurt in the accident Dina: yeah, but psychiatrists are a taboo in the family, except for me Edward: she sounds like a very powerful woman Dina: no, he was not, not a scratch Edward: that is funny Dina: yeah, powerful and a control freak Dina: but anyway, my brother built a beautiful life Dina: he has 2 wonderful kids Dina: and a wonderful business too, although it does not interest me Edward: it seems you were neglected Dina: and he makes good money Dina: well, no, i would not put it like this Edward: that the separation from your father must have been devastating to you unconsciously/consciously Dina: thing is, from the beginning i had a very different way of seeing things Dina: and yes, i was devastated Dina: he protected me from mum Edward: that thought the wound you suffered invisible that it was was never recognized nor attended to Edward: he was older? Dina: but than i was not afraid of facing everything on therapy Dina: who, father? he was 43 when he died, mom 42 Dina: and i had to de-construct all education i had received Edward: no you Dina: ah Edward: parental conditioning? Dina: no, my brother is younger, he is 50 now Dina: lot of work Edward: non the less he shielded you from your mother Dina: and always being an artist, you know, a tendency to be damned Edward: or last to be understood Dina: but it was a good, strong journey, mine Edward: it is antithetical to what a mother wants for her daughter Edward: nest...structure...order Edward: not bohemia Dina: the only thing is that i never could get free from mom Dina: this was my big failure Edward: it could not be understood Dina: and prevented me from higher flights Edward: no...she used you to tend her wound Edward: never learned to tend it herself Dina: so i left her house when i was 24 to live alone (big scandal, for here in Brazil this is very unnusual) Dina: yeah, you are right Dina: and tried many things, had a business, my art Dina: but she was always upon my neck Dina: i wrote you an email a few days ago Dina: but classified it as hidden archive Edward: for her her family was destroyed with the death of her husband...rent apart Dina: i didnt send, cause i felt it was a bit heavy Edward: why hidden archive? Edward: in what way was it a bit heavy? Dina: i told you, i had to write but was not ready to share with you but now i feel like it Dina: do you want to see Edward: please Dina: its my family journey resumed in a dream Dina: so i will send to you now

Dec 13 Dina dream

My dear edward my level of understanding is rising, you know? First of all, i understood a Creedence Clearwater's verse after 30 years: "proud Mary keeps on burning" (who the hell is this mary, big laugh, that's the joke, but true story!!!) and now serious matter. i had this dream, psychoanalitic kind of dream, 30 years ago; i tried to analyze the dream through all my therapy process (20 years), and never could. i was at the airport, in Minas, saying goodbye to someone who was flying away. when the plane took off, i took my car and drove across a very straight road, no curves. then suddenly came a gigantic trunk on my lane (wrong lane) i was scared and stopped 1 milimeter from the truck, who has a sign "wrong way" in the place of the mirror. then came a soldier, dressed like french revolution soldiers and asked me: where are you going? i told him, i'm going home. do you have some child to take care of, or an hospital to go? i said no, so he arrested me and i started to cry, for i knew i was going to be in prison for a long time. i woke up still crying. i never forgot a tiny detail from the dream, as you can see, and never fully understood it. i thought my recently dead father was on the plane, and that the fact that i had no children was the reason for me to be arrested, caged in a wrong life. well, wrong life is a concept from the understanding i got today. it was me, on the plane. the free me, the me who wanted to live according to her dream. you dont know this, but i left my parents home when i was 20, 2 months before my father's death, i came to rio, entered the university here, and was preparing myself to be independent and have my own life away from this mother that always disturbed me, since childhood. but then, well, there was this car accident, and father suddenly gone. my mother decided to come after me, believe me, she brought my brother and came to rio destroying my freedom dream (i mourned twice). i spent my last youth years taking care of her, because she was depressed, wouldn't react, would not leave the house, and wouldn't look for help, either. dina is there, so what's the use. i traveled with her, went to concerts with her, etc well then, back to dream (are you patient). it was me, then, flying away. the child i had to care for was my mother, and when i refused, as a result i got caged for 30 years. all moments of happiness, of love, brief ones and overshadowed by guilt. but now, my dear, i'm back in the airport, you know. i am flying away, out of the cage. i have many poems with the theme "cage". so i believe now the dream interpretation is complete and i'm ready to be free. that's what i wanted to tell you, because it was a huge discovery, the theme of the day. love/ D typing continues...

Dina: its the spine of my therapy Edward: okay...i will read it Dina: and only now i'm beginnign to really understand it Dina: you know that, you know all about me, family issues, i mean Dina: not the brilliant, genius part (laugh) Edward: or the lovely ness on the left side of you Dina: oh, edward Edward: oh dina Dina: you see me all the time as a free and whole woman Dina: thats what i am now Dina: buterfly out of the cocoon Edward: yes you are extremely integrated Edward: dina emerging Dina: uhhg, what a relief Dina: life on the move Edward: yes you can type naked now at your computer Edward: life is movement Edward: death its antithesis is definitely non movement Dina: yes Dina: but i'm a warrior and got here Dina: stronger than ever Dina: and focused Edward: quintiscential non movement Dina: and experienced Edward: yes you are strong...i love strength Dina: and creativity intact Edward: i do not have to tip toe around you... censor Dina: censor? Edward: yes rephrase not say act in a manner that is not the spontaneous self for a variety of external reasons...ie. being responsible for hurting someones feeling...bursting the bubble of the delusion of their lives Dina: hei! Edward: hei? Dina: took you a long time to answer Dina: was calling you Dina: missing you for precious moments Dina: yes, no illusions here Edward: i tend to think more complexly then single sentences Edward: usually paragraphs Dina: yes, i know Edward: no you have done great work Edward: you are delightfully healthy Edward: emotionally Edward: psychologically Dina: yes! thanks to myself, no? (laugh) Dina: lots of work, you know Edward: yes we all do the work ourselves Edward: it is difficult painful often Dina: and you have to be brave, cause it hurts, many times Dina: i have a lot of funny stories, will tell you when we are together Dina: the peak of my process was with this American shaman Dina: and he made me go through so much, and now its funny to tell Dina: it was for me the ultimate revolution, self-reform Dina: i was very stiff Edward: one best start with ones self when reforming the world Edward: one can accomplish so much more Edward: stiff? Edward: rigid emotionally guarded? Dina: my nick at the time as "brain" cause i was very attached to reason Dina: yes, rigid in emotion and body as well Edward: yes i have been on the path of Faust Dina: you know this new age people like to hug a lot Dina: and i used to be disturbed by this Dina: no close contact, you know Edward: yes physically touch is vital to a childs development Dina: and always thinking, thinking Edward: otherwise the child becomes into its head Dina: yes, you bet i didnt have Dina: my father used to give me one kiss every year in yom kipur Edward: and the head is such a wonderfully self congratulatory mechanism Edward: never critical of itself Edward: for it cannot be Edward: i am sure the grief you had for his loss was difficult to let out Dina: do you think so? no self criticism? Edward: especially to a "brain" Dina: cause i am very critical of myself Edward: no there is cursory self criticism Edward: but it is never the brain that is self criticised... Dina: explain cursory Dina: the brain cannot accept the possibility that it is wrong Edward: no? Edward: for if it is ever wrong the whole crystal structure collapses Dina: but many times it is... delluded Edward: yes ...so in order to free once self from the intellect one must completely surrender to the emotional Dina: yes, got your point Edward: but if you had great hurt from your fathers death you could not and felt incapable of opening up and letting it out for fear you would be lost imposing on the world Edward: recognizing your great loss...recognizing that your father who you loved deeply (possibly the only man you had ever truly loved} was dead Dina: yes. but then this was a long process, i believe it is completed now Edward: yes it is definitely completed Dina: i had to struggle with a lack of confidence Dina: for most of my life i could not trust anyone Edward: there is no part of you i have not scoped with the various apparatti Edward: you are clean Dina: mikva of the mind Dina: not friends, nor lovers, nor employees Edward: sure you could you chose not too..."felt" you couldnt Dina: but i trust you Edward: i am worthy of trust Dina: and what a good cleansing service, thank you Edward: my pleasure Dina: (well, i did a bit of cleansing myself before you, no? laugh) Dina: or else i would not be able to see you Dina: which i did very clearly Dina: so clearly i could not grasp at the time Edward: yes there would be too much shit covering your eyes Dina: yes Dina: not any more, no? Dina: do i smell bad? Edward: no i was saying that when i searched your soul...i saw that it was clean...scrubbed...shiny...bright Dina: or do i smell of fresh roses Dina: i'm teasing you Dina: lets lighten up the subject Dina: back to joy Dina: clean souls in a dance Edward: you bring me joy Dina: edward, i love you Dina: clean souls naked in embrace Dina: no more shadows like you said on the beginning Edward: there never were Dina: no, not between us, i mean, but in our previous lives Dina: so many times remember you saying Dina: why couldnt i receive you at the door naked if i was already naked in front of you Dina: and this is a funny feeling, no Edward: what i loved about children was that there were no shadows between ian charles and me Dina: i think i've never been so naked before anyone Edward: i would be naked even if i were wearing clothes Dina: i bet you were/are a good father Edward: it is where true intimacy begins Edward: i am/was Dina: are you caring, i mean, physically, like to stroke and hug, things like that? Edward: and how i feel to ian and charles is how i feel towards you Dina: with your kids i mean Edward: yes i felt it was important Edward: always kissed Dina: well, im not your child, eh Edward: hugged touched Dina: but your partner Dina: mate Edward: embraced Dina: yes, a good thing Edward: no it was not even close Edward: i had to set her free Edward: it is wrong to keep someone Dina: who, i think i lost something Edward: i didnt love her... Edward: had love for her Dina: youre talking about julia Edward: acted with love toward her Edward: but i didnt love her Edward: yeh julia Edward: she was lovely and for a minute felt something Dina: did you never, or discovered later Dina: you answered Edward: but it never exploded to consciousness Edward: it was on a different chakra Dina: i see Edward: you and I have all our doors open Dina: maybe its like me with my first husband Dina: nothing in common Dina: no regrets, no pain in separation Edward: if it is not what we are doing it is nothing Dina: only goddbye and this is it Edward: it is like going to the airport but not taking the plane Dina: yes, edward, we are the same Edward: it is peculiar Dina: did you read my email Edward: which one Dina: the one i sent you a few minutes ago Edward: no not yet just a moment Dina: cause you are talking of airport, and plane Dina: this is awesome Dina: can hardly believe it Dina: oh, edward, you made me cry now Dina: of emotion, and joy Dina: i'm in tears Edward: odd how intuitive i am Edward: unconscious synchronicity Dina: but this was too much, you know Edward: symbol is symbol Dina: so lets fly, my love, the plane will take off now Dina: we are on board Edward: let us make love in our seats when they turn the lights off Edward: a blanket over our laps Dina: wow, i never tried this did you Edward: but you will have to be quiet Dina: ok, deal Dina: put a napkin in my mouth Edward: no laughing giggling or screaming Edward: yes the plane is quiet only the humming of the engines Dina: oh, edward Edward: 30,000 miles above the earth Edward: night Edward: we are in the front bulkhead...two seats Dina: so be light, dont abuse me or else it will be impossible not to make some pleasant noise Edward: i lift the arm that is between us Dina: nothing between us Edward: and put my hand on your leg under the blanket Edward: it is warm and cozy Edward: our faces are cool from the planes air conditioning system Edward: your leg moves under my hand Edward: rises Edward: muscles taught Dina: my breath is already urgent Edward: you are on my left and it is your right thigh that moves ever so in my direction Edward: begining to spread your cunt Dina: funny, for i envisioned you on my right Edward: my right leg upon you left Edward: my hand slips beneath the cotton folds of your white dress Edward: and slides up the smooth surface of your thigh Edward: till the pinky of my left hand touches your pubic hairs Edward: and slips south to the crake in your cunt Dina: oh, edward,i'm throbbing already Edward: it is wet already Edward: and my finger slips into you feeling the warm wet of you Edward: it is late and everyone is asleep the cabin is dark Edward: you breath heavily and kiss me Edward: stretch your self into my mouth Dina: yes, edward, i feel your mouth on mine, your tongue looking for mine Edward: your breasts press against my left arm Dina: i'm so excited Dina: my heart beats faster Edward: you turn away from me and back your self against me Edward: your arm around me Edward: i slip my right hand beneath your skirt and lift it over your butt under the blanket Edward: you moan as i put my fingers between your legs and wet your cunt Dina: ai, edward Edward: moving up and down in and out till you are a lubricated mass Edward: your body backs towards me Dina: oh god, edward Edward: hungering for me Edwards: i unzip my pants Edwards: and pull my cock stiff hard Edwards: throbbing from my pants Edwards: and between your legs slip along the crack of your ass now dripping wet Dina: come, edward, come inside me Edward: and am guided slip into your cunt Edward: slippery so slippery Dina: im hungry for you Edward: it is dark in the cabin Dina: and i suck your cock hungrily Edward: and my cock is deep with in you Dina: with my cunt Edward: you squeeze my cock deeply Edward: pulling me towards you in a lock Dina: hold me edward, squeeze me Edward: my right hand reaches over your hip and slips to your clitoris Edward: to the hair on your pubic mound Edward: to the wet front of your cunt Edward: my cock from behind my hands from in front Edward: you are moving and writhing Edward: moaning Edward: breathing Edward: back and forth in and out Edward: so subtly Edward: we are unperceived by sound or sight Edward: my hand presses your cunt against me pulls you toward me Dina: ai, edward Edward: my cock stabs deep within you Dina: more, my love, more Edward: your naked butt cool against me Edward: we move in and out in and out Edward: my hand slips in the front into your cunt and joins my cock Edward: your legs part dripping wet Dina: oh, god, edward Edward: your head turns to your right and we kiss Edward: lips mouth locked Edward: teeth clattering in passon hands cunt cock Edward: we are fucking Dina: we are coming Edward: dina we are coming Edward: faster dina harder Dina: ah, edward, come, edward Edward: we are coming Dina: yes, yes Edward: yes Edward: dina we are coming Dina: yes, my love Edward: i am coming dina Edward: coming Dina: come edward Edward: come dina come Dina: come with me Dina: inside me Edward: in a great shot of semen i release Edward: throbbing convulsing orgasm Dina: oh, my god, edward Edward: wave of muscle contraction after muscle contraction Edward: sending hot semen into you Edward: inside of you Edward: your body tightens around me Dina: filling me with your semen, flooding me Dina: i can feel it Edward: your ass convulses grows rigid taught Edward: your legs and muscles go tight and you shudder and shudder Edward: your right hand grabbing my right buttock pulls my cock deeper inside of you Edward: our mouths still locked Edward: spit mucous...vaginal and semenal fluids every where Dina: ughh, deep sigh, edward what a flight Edward: we are quieting resting bodies calming...it is dark 2:00am ...gozo Dina: wow,edward. you owe me this one on our next flight together... Edward: did i please you Dina: oh, absolutely Edward: c'est mon plasir madam Edward: are you busy with something? Dina: yes, phone Dina: moment Dina: ok, edward, im back Dina: thanks god the call was not a minute ago Edward: smile Dina: oh, edward Dina: you can always do even better, all the time Dina: surprising Dina: delightful Edward: i love making love Dina: i love making love with you Dina: to you, i mean Edward: with you Dina: laugh Dina: gringa Edward: gringa? Dina: yes, depends on the point of view, no? Edward: tell me what you look like today Dina: you are my gringo husband, i am your gringa wife Dina: oh, enlightned Edward: luminous Dina: absolutely joyfull Edward: aglow Edward: afire Edward: and you? Dina: smiling Dina: quietly Edward: thoughtful Dina: contained? Edward: testosterone Dina: ruling, eh Edward: no i am not contained Edward: more flowing outwardly towards you Edward: i am open and broadcasting with energy Dina: so people around you can see you smile to the screen? Dina: broadcasting energy Edward: no its a subtle mona lisa smile Edward: i am in a corner facing a wall and there is nobody near me Dina: i feel your energy from here and send you back, share with you Edward: this is the new library in the contry side Dina: i would love to watch you as you make love to me on screen Edward: i can feel our energies mixing like bodily fluid Dina: to hide and spy on you Dina: what the hell is this guy doing Edward: yes it would be quite lovely Edward: with you Dina: oh, edward Edward: something beautiful about how are bodies would mesh Edward: oh dina what? Dina: soon Edward: soon Edward: thought about your wet panties Dina: and? Edward: and smelling them you Edward: and grew hard Dina: eros is on its way Edward: and looked at your pictures on the ball Dina: 3 days Dina: check pobox Edward: and came to love you more and more Dina: you will receive concrete poetry Edward: saw the out line of your pelvis...the loveliness Edward: of the line of your leg Edward: the length of your calf Edward: three dimensional poetry Dina: well, 3 dimensional not yet Edward: your feet Dina: but soon Edward: am begining to come to love your form Dina: how could you see my feet Dina: (you will like them) Dina: im always barefoot Dina: at home Edward: your shows were thin and small Edward: shoes Dina: yes, i have small feet Dina: hard to buy shoes in america Edward: i would love to smell your feet and put them in my mouth Edward: your toes Dina: fetishist Edward: all of them Edward: bite your heel Edward: and put your achilles tendon in my mouth and suck it Edward: lick the arch of your foot Edward: and kiss it Dina: you will Edward: i was just doing it now Dina: yes, i could feel Edward: i know Dina: delightful Dina: new Dina: unusual Edward: so any way the more we talk the more my perception of your pictures change Dina: yes, me too, you know Edward: more favourably Edward: and you have heard my voice Edward: that adds dimension Dina: but i was always favorable towards you Dina: yes, voice is an erotic tool, no Edward: yes thats true Dina: you heard mine first Edward: yes Dina: i risked Edward: i told you i loved your voice Edward: love is risque Dina: i know Dina: step forward Edward: love naked love is risque Edward: i am standing here erect Edward: dina Dina: yes, completely open always a risk, worth it, though Edward: naked and at attention Edward: like leonardos naked man in a circle Edward: legs and arms outstretched squaring the circle Dina: yes, my love, tell me, what do you want now Edward: you are completely available Dina: no shields Edward: me too Edward: my musculature and skill are my shields Edward: i have no need of shields with you Dina: i fear no harm from you Dina: only bliss Edward: joy Dina: oh, edward, my love, im pleased Edward: you give so much joy as well Dina: in a permanent basis Dina: since the day i met you Edward: i love when you say oh,edward it causes a twinge in my solar plexus Edward: i am floating Dina: oh, edward Edward: the center of my gut Edward: kite Dina: and i am the wind Dina: floating in your current Dina: of energy Edward: yes on each others current Edward: untied Edward: yes energy boiling like the surface of the sun Edward: catching your warm wave of air Edward: like fog and vapors Edward: like clouds in time lapse photography Dina: essential Edward: sit upon my lap and straddle me Dina: pure energy and vibration Dina: pulsing Edward: facing me Dina: yes? Edward: put your arms around my neck and kiss me Dina: i look at you Edward: let me smell you Dina: into your eyes Edward: feel your warmth Dina: our body Dina: i think our eyes are the same color Edward: wouldnt surprise me Edward: even our unread imagery is the same Edward: our words come out of us the same Edward: i feel your leg's strenght under my butt Dina: awesome, isnt it Edward: ohhh dina Edward: pick up the same symbol at the same time Dina: oh, edward Dina: hold me Dina: tight Edward: yes my dear Edward: around your waiste Edward: your arms around my neck Edward: your legs around me Dina: i smile at you Edward: i kiss your lips and smile back Dina: smile in my eyes Edward: what are you doing Edward: when there is a delay in rhythm like this Dina: sorry, my love i was talking to the maid, shes leaving Dina: sorry, im not as alone as you are Dina: so now and then, interrupted Dina: but i dont lose you, no Dina: i see your beautiful, brilliant smile Edward: i can feel you leave Dina: yes, i figure, but im back already Edward: i am really sensitive Dina: i need to make a phone call, can you wait 5 min Edward: i pick up things that arent spoken Edward: yes Dina: moment, then Dina: ok, dear. im back Dina: sorry to keep you waiting Edward: i am back i was reading your dream Dina: and Edward: it was interesting that we made love on a plane just now Edward: it was uncontrived Dina: yes, but i told you before, did you read the email only now or it was the 2nd time Edward: but this is the plane that was/is worth the catching Edward: something of happiness Dina: yes, this came up because you used the plane/airport metaphore concerning julia and i just sent you this dream Edward: i told you that i had cursorily read it but i was giving it some scrutiny and thought Edward: it is multiplied imagery Dina: and i think i told you in the email that i will now board the plane, didnt i Edward: most probably Dina: so you received me like a queen for the flight Edward: or my delight Dina: your queen Edward: okay Dina: so Edward: i do not have a concept of queen Edward: but of love most assuredly Dina: you treat me like a queen alright Dina: all the time Edward: you are love made manifest for me Dina: wow, thats nice Edward: i treat you like some one i love Dina: for i feel the same Dina: i feel that is true the saying that we only love once Dina: i never did, until today Dina: only rehearsals Edward: so are you alone now? Dina: yes Dina: back to your lap Dina: im with you, i mean, not alone Dina: never alone Edward: unbotton your shirt and let me suck your tits Dina: but with you Edward: long pause Dina: yes, but im here with you, passive, feeling Dina: delighting from you Dina: your wet tongue on my nipples Dina: allowing myself to not act Dina: but receive Edward: no i just want your breast in my mouth Edward: want to gently suck you smell your warm breast Dina: my nipples are erect at your touch Edward: they are Dina: and i feel your right hand beneath my skirt Dina: as your left holds my breast Edward: ummm Edward: oh dina Edward: i feel your fingers looking for me Edward: tracing the wetness path Dina: i love it when you say my name Edward: oh dina Dina: call me and sya it a million times Dina: say Edward: okay Dina: back to your right hand, and left, and mouth Dina: and lap and cock Dina: i open your zipper Dina: feel your hard cock across the fabric of your pants Dina: looking for it, go for it through the open ziper Dina: feel it as it rises in my hand Dina: with noneed to touch, or stroke Dina: but i do it anyway Dina: feeling your strenght and power Dina: wow, edward, this was awesome Edward: im back Dina: i typed awesome a zillion times only today Edward: it was so amusing Dina: i wish you could repeat the things you said in hebrew Dina: cause i couldnt hear you well Edward: so is the reality of my voice equal to your image of me from the writing Edward: anee ohav otach Dina: well, they are one now, since i heard your voice for the first time Edward: you seem shy when i speak to you Dina: yes, a bit Edward: not a strong Edward: eluctant Dina: no, not reluctant Dina: i told you i have to practice speaking Dina: its like subtitles in a movie Dina: i go better in writing Edward: i understand Dina: but it wont remain like this for long, i promise you Edward: but speech is a matter of faith Dina: give me a couple of hours with you and i'm done Dina: im not shy with you Dina: stop being so demanding!!! laugh Edward: i will understand what ever you say however you say it Dina: screw you Dina: so ok, next time i will speak to you in port on the phone Edward: tov Dina: you will see when we meet Dina: that i use my hands a lot when speaking Edward: it is the energy of you i experience Dina: so i need hands to talk, catch it Dina: didnt you? Edward: and discern meaning as consequence Dina: today, i mean, on the phone Dina: and i was so surprised Dina: i love surprises Edward: didnt i what Edward: i am so delighted with you Edward: you are so light Dina: bah, dont know, forgot what i was saying Edward: smusing Edward: amusing Edward: sweet Dina: bells ringing, no Edward: what a sweet voice you have Dina: im sweet with you Edward: ten min fly away Dina: love to listen to you discerning images Edward: so gentle so gentle dina Edward: sweet gentle dina Dina: and your voice is not swwet, but strong Dina: and powerful Edward: how you make me laugh Dina: but you didnt laugh at the phone, did you Dina: sounded serious Edward: no you make me smile inside Edward: i was in earshot of some students Edward: i am serious Dina: ear shot? Edward: about comedy Edward: also Edward: yes about 20 feet behind me Dina: i want to hear you laugh loudly when we are together Edward: so i could not be too loud Edward: or to explicit in english Edward: so i spoke in french and hebrew Dina: yes, i figure. thats what i meant, i am alone Dina: and thats what i told you, i didnt get what you said in hebrew Dina: told you to repeat Dina: please Dina: now Edward: so when i speak to you do not hesitate...be bold as bold as you are in writing Edward: always be strong with me Edward: in touch in kiss in words in speech Dina: cause it was not loud enough Edward: you can of course be strong in gentleness as well Dina: ok, edward Edward: but never haster or hesitate with me Dina: i explained this to you already, be patient Dina: you could not hear me Dina: do you feel me hesitate Edward: no i will not Dina: at any mopment? Dina: will not what Edward: bepatient Edward: i will act as though i am not impatient... Edward: i love you completely, openly, without hesitation Edward: but impatient is a wave that moves over one Dina: i bought my ticket to fly to you before i fully recognize you Dina: one slight hint was enough for me Edward: it is so strange to translate that to a new dimension Dina: so no use being impatient Dina: im working hardly on my self to go smoothly these next 2 weeks Edward: speech...so what of touch...will that be different Edward: probably easier Dina: less different i think Edward: words for me translate touch Dina: yes, you see, we agree on that one Edward: i will jump at you, unstrip you Edward: kiss you passionately Dina: we agree on everything except george roualt Dina: and some picasso Dina: im good in english but a foreigner anyway, you have to understand Dina: and fellini Edward: no roualt, no, chagall Edward: we didnt talk of roualt Edward: yeh it was julietta of the spirits one of his first...i dont care for most of his work Dina: maybe i will introduce you to some things, and you me Dina: and we will develop a common taste Dina: a couple taste Edward: i likened marc chagal to the painter that used black outlines Edward: i am not worried Dina: oh, thats roualt alright Dina: neither am i Dina: i can picture we touching perfectly, no flaws Dina: and imagination is the first thing Dina: you know, i wanted to take some vacation for long Edward: yes i think in movement we are both accomplished Edward: i know you told me Dina: i tried hard, many options, but couldnt envision me in none Dina: flying alone somewhere Edward: well here is this eccentric lover Edward: something to do Dina: but when i asked you if you wanted to meet the picture was clear and shiny Edward: something if nothing else interesting Dina: so i jumped to it (where is heasitation, or weakness here?) Dina: and im running toward you since Dina: running sans cesse Dina: moment Dina: ok, back Dina: solving problems Dina: edward, where are you Edward: im here Dina: so im arriving Dina: only a few miles to go Edward: wow, lot of movement today no Edward: who were you talking to? Dina: psychiatrist Edward: what did he have to say Dina: i asked him to change the dose and the way of ministrating it Dina: once a day instead of twice Dina: he agreed,im in syntony with him as well, its a good thing Edward: anti depressant Dina: and my brother asked for an appointment to meet him next saturday Edward: sounds like a good idea Dina: no, anti-psychotic Dina: yes, fundamental Dina: im getting free, grasp it? Dina: arranging everything to function without my presence Dina: so that i can elope with you if we feel like it Dina: so i have been a bit busy Dina: moment im back Dina: i said, you didnt hear me, abot american speaking french, so tacky, but not you, you have a lovely accent in all languages Dina: in hebrew you can slurp the "r" i love that Edward: what great delight dina Edward: i am so happy with you Dina: me too, my love Edward: i am not used to being happy Edward: i am happy with my children Edward: but unhappy in their absence Dina: rip me of myskin, you know i am a sabra, thorns outside, honey inside, you take the thorns away Edward: this is all i do is talk to you Dina: well you will have to forget about unhappiness Edward: and it is enough Dina: im so at ease with you Edward: wait till you start to get mad with me Dina: why, what do you do Edward: and you can feel free to yell at me Dina: what will you do to make me mad Dina: i doubt it Dina: im flexible Dina: and patient Edward: for example when i told you about your telephone deportment Edward: you seemed to ratchet the energy Dina: oh, i can yell alright you know, i used to yell a lot, not anymore Dina: ratchet? dictionary Edward: seriously...i love our relationship Edward: i listen to what is being said not how it is being said Dina: dictiopnary did not help explain Edward: you are respectful of me Edward: and conscious of me Dina: your strength does not intimidate me Dina: and i told you my french is not that good, remember, and my hebrew a bit forgotten Edward: "ratchet up" means to increase Dina: aval ani col cach rotza ledaber ivrit itcha Edward: like ratchet up the volume Edward: your english is adorable Dina: but beware, im no angel either, ahn Edward: perfection Edward: a rarity Edward: i have no fear of you Dina: i have mine "hair in the nostrils" as we say in port Edward: you are a woman Dina: but flexible still Dina: do you doubt? Dina: me being a woman, i mean Edward: no Dina: your woman Edward: no but angle is not a woman Dina: i feel so sexually strong with you Edward: a nonsensical idealization with no meaning Edward: children are angles Dina: women are curves? Edward: but women they are women Edward: you are an extraordinary woman Dina: or you meant angel, not angle Edward: bright intelligent witty kind considerate Edward: fuck you how dare you criticize me Dina: so how will you enjoy a woman by your side in daily life after so long Edward: my spelling is attrociaou Edward: attrocious Dina: mine too, today Dina: so angle or angel Dina: you know, sometimes when i am very happy i get afraid of something Edward: i was typing angel but i am usually supported by the universe even in unintentioned things Edward: there is meaning even in my errors Dina: something will happen to spoil Edward: i was feeling the same thing Dina: edward, you're so vain Edward: i feel so happy with you that there is an apprehension Dina: but then i discovered something new Edward: vain? Edward: what? Dina: you know this theory that children are protected until the age of 7 Dina: yes, vain, teasing, forget it Edward: no Dina: go f yrsf Dina: back to angels Dina: so i discovered our deep love is protected like a child Dina: and nothing will happen Dina: and its interesting you feel the same, no Edward: i would love to have you by my side Dina: cause i feel a bit neurothic Edward: wake to you Edward: eat with you Dina: i always feel like telling you Dina: drive carefully Edward: sleep with you Dina: take good care of yourself Edward: walk with you Dina: walk in the shadow, beware of the sun... Edward: make love to/with/ for you Edward: i want to breath you Edward: i want to eat you Edward: spend all my time with you Dina: yes, me too Dina: all my time Dina: wait till i tell you my plans for next year Dina: in person only Edward: i do not get bored with you Dina: do you get bored easily Dina: i remeber you said something about ennui on your profile, no more Dina: you got what you wanted!!! (laugh) Dina: found someone as crazy as you Edward: same for me Edward: i am very fast quick Edward: intellectually and cognizantly fast Dina: and me, what am i if not quick Edward: i burn out my clutch waiting for the world Dina: fast and daring Edward: i do not do that with you Edward: we think the same words at the same time Dina: what is quicker than that Edward: yeah, instantaneous Dina: oh, edward Edward: even before it is said Edward: oh dina Edward: we float in the same wave of brain energy Dina: we share the same wave Dina: float together Edward: i have never shared this frequency before Edward: in all lines of thinking, feeling Dina: neither did i Edward: like you say, now thats love Dina: the real, the one Dina: coca cola love (laugh!!!) Dina: the real thing Dina: le vrai chose Edward: what are you doing for dinner Dina: edward, we are multimedia today Dina: can you smell me Dina: well, diner is light, you know Edward: smells like soap Dina: kale with an egg, quick and simple, shoyu Edward: but your cunt i can only imagine Dina: the soap smell does not last, my own smell takes over in a few minutes, pheromones Dina: cant you feel it Dina: cause i feel your cock perfectly Dina: wanted to ask you something Dina: are you sleeping well Edward: i slept well last night Edward: i will most assuredly sleep well by your side Dina: no, i wanted to know, i think friday night Dina: do you remember Dina: about 1 am Edward: and fall asleep after making love to you Dina: is it easy for you to sleep with someone Edward: if i love them and there is a chemistry i have no trouble Edward: but there are few women i have felt this way with Edward: content to snuggle up in them Edward: arms legs bodies breath entwined Dina: maybe it will not be that easy for me to sleep with you for the first night Dina: or maybe im mistaken and i will relax completely Edward: ah the problems begin Edward: i would love to fall asleep intertwined with you Edward: your leg over mine Dina: maybe after making love for hours you will fall asleep where ever you are Edward: feeling your weight Dina: you know, i wake up a few times during the night, will that disturb you Dina: about 2 or 3 times in an 8 hours sleep Edward: dina there is a connection that if it exists makes meaningless the incidentals Dina: except for this i sleep quietly, dont move, dont snore (i hope) Edward: i hope i like the temperature of you Dina: what do you expect Dina: im warm, not hot or cold Dina: my feet and hands are warm, never cold Dina: comfortable Edward: i expect i will like the smell of you the feel of you the heat of you and the form of you Dina: you will Dina: i smell good Dina: do you Dina: (no french scent to spoil) Edward: clean soap sometimes patchouli Edward: i like clean smell Dina: wow, patchouli reminds me of teen age years Dina: first boyfriend and all Edward: shut up Dina: why Edward: i rarely ware anything Dina: wear, you mean Dina: to sleep? Edward: yes thank you Dina: i sleep naked too Dina: even when its cold Dina: know scent Edward: nor do i wear anything to bed Dina: i like to take all clothes off and jump behind the covers Edward: thats why it would be so nice living with you Dina: blankets, i mean Dina: why, tellme Edward: we could crawl under the covers and tell each other stories Dina: yes Dina: i like storytelling you know Dina: i am a bit unusual as a woman Dina: hardly makeup Dina: cant take more than 10 minutes to dress up Dina: dont go to the manicure or hairdresser ever Dina: do all by myself Dina: hair dries naturally, never a hairdryer Edward: i will either love you or i will not Dina: do youstill doubt it Dina: you never stop doubting Edward: doi you Dina: what do you mean will love Edward: no you are talking about the no make up etc...i am not interested in make up i will either love your looks unwashed unmade up or not Edward: who cares about make up Dina: so you will enjoy me Dina: i will never make you wait Edward: i am interested in the natural woman naked and wet Dina: im never delayed Dina: and am natural Dina: plain Dina: in the outside, i mean Edward: like the utmost design Dina: very simple lines Dina: a bauhaus woman Dina: get it Edward: i believe it was my reference Dina: fform follows function Dina: what Dina: bauhaus? Dina: it was Edward: yeh bauhause Edward: doesnt mean i did not love it Edward: cause it added even more to my aethetic delight with you Dina: that is why i used it Edward: aesthetic i mean Dina: my design is very clean Dina: thats why i never sold lots of jewelry Edward: for us Dina: cant be as baroque as the fashion demands Dina: so, bauhaus couple, suits you? Edward: scandinavian silver is very sparse Edward: there is always a demand for that aesthetic Edward: dina i love you you suit me Dina: we will enjoy a beautiful table together Edward: what you think and feel suits me Edward: i think we fit well together Dina: no adaptation needed Dina: instantaneous Dina: melting into each other Dina: flow into each other Dina: and yet self identity preserved Dina: perfectly Edward: i am sexually compatible with you Dina: you bet, my dear Dina: you know i would prefer to meet you in person since the first day Dina: but these days on line with you Dina: i opened completely Dina: told you about my desires, my preferences Dina: never did this before Edward: remember i described in jadate that the ideal was two beings in orbit around each other held together by their mutual gravities Dina: maximum take a hand and show something Dina: never explicitly Dina: yes, i remember Dina: but with us, we got to know each other without reserve before we even touch Dina: and i enjoyed it was important Dina: and delightful Edward: so you know my path to joy as i know yours Dina: this will be awesome, my love, when we meet Edward: yes my path to joy leads to you Dina: im sure i never experienced this before, such joy Edward: easy and flowing and intimate without effort Dina: it so good to feel i can open up for you and be sure you can handle me Edward: held together by the strengths of our strengths Dina: support me Dina: never felt this so completely Dina: and never trusted someone as i trust you. i never trusted anyone,, period Dina: this is a first Edward: i love you too dina Dina: yes,in resume, no Dina: i am looking forward to smelling you Edward: what were you saying about friday and lam? Dina: if you were asleep Dina: cause i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night and felt you near me so strongly Dina: 1am my time Dina: no, your time i mean Dina: this time table is funny Edward: you have come to me at times recently on waking or in the early morn from sleep Dina: i you know i use the first hours in the morning to exercise, solve problems, go shopping, while im sure you are still asleep Dina: maybe when i finish and feel you thats when you feel me also Edward: this has been a lovely afternoon Edward: loved talking to you on the phone Dina: yes, my dear, we should part, no Edward: that was great fun Dina: i love you everyday more Dina: each day more open, more intimate, more trustworthy Dina: no doubts left from your laser cleansing Dina: are you gone already Edward: no just following your words Edward: thinking how much i love you want you Dina: so Dina: i listento your strong voice telling me this Dina: never a silent typing, no more Dina: always listening to your tone Dina: oh, edward Dina: my love Dina: lets part now Edward: your voice too fills but i have heard all of you in someof the recordings of you...the prayer to the guru...the hebrew...the jazz... Dina: yes, im still waiting for you to sing, no? (laugh) in the library, among the students Dina: loudly and vibrantly a powerful baritone Edward: talk to you soon Dina: ok, my love Dina: hate to see you go Dina: hanging up

Tuesday dec 14

Dec 14 Dina happy first month

Edward, its been a month today the universe blessed us with our meeting. Oh, Edward, I love you so, may we have a myriad of splendorous months like this. Better still, for we will be together in body, heart and soul from now on.

The Kiss - Rubens Gerchman (Brazil) 90x90 acrilic on canvas - 1989

Dec 14 Dina arrival #1 plane lands at Tampa arriving from MIA - AA flight #1724 at 8:44 a.m.. down to luggage claim area, take bag, outside to shuttle. take shuttle to alamo rent. show documents, voucher, pick up car. look for exit, exit to interstate 4. map, doubt, driving for an hour and a half to exit 72 international dr. arrive at hotel, wait till noon for check-in. upstairs to room, unpack, a quick swim to relax, long bath, hair wash. choose outfit, get dressed carefully, nervous - virginal girlfriend waiting for blind date - look at watch, anxious, mirror, am i fine. sit, walk, sit, stand up, wait for call. phone rings, heart pumps, open door, see you, smile, cry, kiss, hug, jump, undress urgently, bed, love ...

Dec 14 Dina arrival #2 plane lands at Tampa arriving from MIA - AA flight #1724 at 8:44 a.m.. down to luggage claim area, bathroom, quick look at the mirror - a worn- out yet glorious warrior coming home after long, rough battle, dressed in white (off-white), see you through the glass, go out, rush to your homewelcoming arms, surrender to you, feel loved, loving, kiss, hug, cry, smile. pick up car with you. drive smoothly down the road enjoying landscape, listening to the music in your voice, talking, smiling, touch your right leg sweetly. you park at a service station for a moment, long kiss, back to road, arrive at hotel, smile, voucher, mr/mrs. schwarcz on honeymoon, enjoy every minute with you... then touch, love, feel, thrill, sweetly, smothly, giant wave of warm love embracing us, as we kiss in bed... lovemaking for the whole afternoon, a long bath together, a glass of wine, light diner, back to bed as our life begins forever filled with love and passion.

Dec 14 Dina appointment

Edward, my dear, i was so absorbed in our typing today that i forgot to tell you i have an appointment with my ophthalmologist tomorrow at 3. So if you don't call me before 2:30, please do after 5, ok? brz time 3:00 = fl time 12:00 noon brz time 2:30 = fl time 11:30 am brz time 5:00 = fl time 2:00 pm if you happen to open this email today, the 14th, please note correct date for email "happy first month" is dec 15. i was hasty sending it too early. Love/ Dina

Edward: BONJOUR, MON AMOUR Dina: monjour Dina: bon jour Edward: our passion so overwhelms me Dina: what's new Edward: tell me about it Dina: im in hell, today, send me some energy Edward: read your emails i am hard with the opening words Edward: what is with you Edward: your words effect me so Edward: i was breathing hard after the first volley of words Dina: what can it be? mom Dina: so were you able to get to the end Edward: both ends with you in bed Dina: what would you expect Edward: two scenarios Dina: yeh, i can do both, but am split Edward: what is the hell you are in today Dina: sometimes i envision one, sometimes the other, so im asking for your help Dina: told you. mom is screaming, neverending Dina: yelling absurds Edward: i thought she was with your brother Dina: repeating over and over that i hate my brother and things like that,imagine Dina: no, dear, only sat and sund afternoon Dina: a brief interval to let me rest Edward: all right...how much of what is going on is she cognizant of Dina: everything, i told you, im unable to lie or hide Edward: no she knows she is going to your brothers Dina: but then she repeats over and over that i am deceiving her, so why dont i go and move in with my boyfriend... Dina: well, she doesnt want to, so we decided to hire the maid anyway, my brother will supervise and see what happens, poor maid, called a shiksa all the time Dina: i pity people who have to be part of this, me included Edward: guilt seems to be a part of the devices of the diaspora Dina: moment Edward: it is oft the theme of jokes in the pantheon of american humor Edward: the thing about guilt is that it enters the "gut" the viscera ...and hurts...the dynamic is that inorder to alleviate the pain...one acquiesses... submits ... Dina: well, dear, lets change the subject. as long as im concerned i dont feel any guilt Dina: im ready to go, you know Edward: so one must tough the pain ...when the person using guilt to control begins to fail in succeeding to control...they opt to modify behavior Dina: if god blesses us in our meeting im ready not to go back you know Edward: our mother has been doing this a long time Edward: she is not likely to change Dina: how can one go back from heaven nonstop to hell Dina: do you still have a mother Edward: yes i know if god blesses us you are ready not to go back Dina: you know, my mother was always crazy Dina: her reactions and actions toward me all my life, sick ones Dina: but now its different, she is chemically crazy Dina: and she has alzheimer, so she will not go back Edward: yes she is chemically crazy ... so do not react to her act Dina: only forward to crazier and crazier Dina: i dont react but i have to listen and sometimes i get torn apart Dina: but, never mind Dina: lets go back to us Dina: i talked to Paulo this morning Edward: give her some zanex Edward: slip it in her tea Edward: smother her Dina: you know, every time i talk to him theres also a good energy running Edward: put tape on her mouth and tie her to the bed Dina: and i will manage to let him know about business if i happen not to come back as soon as planned Dina: oh edward, stop, are you that cruel Dina: cause im not Dina: when i lose control all i do is to yell back Dina: and if it is REALLY bad i start to cry Dina: than she stops Edward: yelling to a mad woman is madness Edward: oh stop it dina Dina: and taping her to the bed is what Edward: ah so she is conscious of the effect she has... not so mad Dina: you bet, 60% crazy 40% manipulative old bitch Edward: writing is transforming energy feelings Edward: taking out of the self and puting them in the ether Dina: what feelings Edward: try touching her... Dina: yes, tu a raison Dina: how, edward, i wish i could Dina: i tried many times, you know, but i seem to be unable to do this Edward: every time she is in a state touch her as you speak to her Edward: it is unconscious Dina: tough as it is to say and hear this, i love her cause she's my mother, but i definetely dont like her Dina: and she did a lot of harm to me Edward: the effect of contact enters the being even if they dont acknowledge it Dina: when i was really desperate i friend of mine used to say: forget your mother! go to the beach now! Edward: she is lonely isolated at the end of her life mad Dina: ok, dear Dina: maybe i will be mother teresa Edward: she is disconnecting and is fearful... ill equipped to adjust to the end of her life Dina: maybe if you were here with me to hold me Edward: no it is a subtle technique Edward: put she is starving for physical warmth Dina: tu as raison, mon amour 100% Edward: her soul is attrophy-ing Dina: edward, listen Dina: lets enjoy our time, please Dina: lets change the subject Edward: what subject Dina: lets go back to discuss scenarios Dina: this painful one Edward: well the second involves me transporting my self to tampa without a car Dina: yes, you are right, some effort Edward: though it is truly lovely... i loved the mr and mrs schwarcz Dina: so you dont want to come Edward: no i do i love the scenario Edward: i love both scenarios. . Dina: is it difficult Edward: especially the part where we go to bed Edward: there are merits to both scenarios Dina: well, this will happen anyway, no Edward: YES Dina: and at the same time, you bet, unless you want to make love to me on airport bathroom Edward: i will be in your pants in a heart beat Dina: edward, thing is Dina: i would love to be romantic with you Dina: receive you with my best clothes and smile Edward: you are romantic with me Dina: but im a little afraid i will break, cause i feel im running out of energy Edward: dina your body are your best clothes for your soul Edward: and your words your smile Dina: in this case it will be painful for me to make one last effort and drive alone to orlando Dina: doesnt mean i cant do it, though Dina: i drove all around the world, no problem Dina: england on the right side Edward: no i have no doubt of it Dina: golan Dina: palestine among the arabs Edward: england was fun wasn't it Dina: switzerland around alpine passes Edward: it is an hour and a half... time to center... adjust to the terrain Dina: but i will be impacient to see you, and in a stress situation Dina: yes, you are right about centering, i thought about it Edward: knock it off Edward: self fulfilling prophecies Dina: anyway, i only told you what i am going through Edward: it will be as you choose it to be Edward: you are in a better situation Edward: you have time for yourself Edward: dina you are made virus on the net have to go call you Dina: and are very focused on our love what? Dina: virus? Edward: i am here my dear Dina: bad vibes, what happened Dina: wait a minute i am at the bank can you wait Edward: the computer carrier for the other branch was hit with a virus and all the computers had to be turned off Edward: cyber armagedon Edward: the new facillity i am at is not affected Edward: let us shed the vibe Dina: can you wait on line 5 min Edward: yes Dina: ok, im back Dina: now when you say "call" i dont know if you will call ph or msn Edward: okay Dina: okay what Edward: i need to by some more phone cards Edward: okay im back Dina: not that im asking, no Edward: i can use them here in the library Edward: what are you wearing Dina: i will buy those cards when im there, very handy Dina: shorts, t shirt Dina: light green, light blue Edward: i would love to see your legs Dina: look and see... Edward: run my hand down the length of it all its myriad curves Edward: through cosmic space Edward: come to your delicate feet trace fingers along your arch Edward: tips of your toes Edward: put my face in your lap Dina: yes, dear, lets be quiet for a bit Dina: im a little restless today Edward: i know Edward: speak to me Edward: im listening Dina: i worked a little today Edward: good Dina: you know, this thing about energy is amazing Edward: hope you made some money Dina: it is Dina: i did not sell much this month Edward: i wonder why Dina: i have no energy left for work Dina: i do background tasks Dina: send email marketing Dina: to the same lists Dina: and promotions to my clients and registered customers Edward: i do not want to interrupt your business Dina: but nothing seems to work, you know Dina: its not you Dina: but the whole whirlwind Edward: im just commenting Dina: je sais Dina: i cant even guess how my life would have been if i havent met you Edward: i cant imagine my life without you anymore Dina: but anyway business suffers Dina: in a way it was a good thing Dina: cause i discovered im stuck, you know Dina: arrived to a turning point Dina: i cant go any further working alone like i do Dina: so as i had to find some solution to cope with you, mom, and clipfit Dina: i had to find a way out for clipfit Dina: and i think it will make clipfit grow Dina: beyond my individual possibilities Dina: so this is transition time, but a good thing, and i decided to give in Dina: im not complaining, only sharing Edward: synergistic addition Edward: i know Edward: i am listening Dina: and you know, chaval its christmas times and i should be selling like crazy, no Dina: but in a way, nobody wants to think about losing wait, working out or stop smoking in december, no? Edward: yes... but it is slow only hight end things are selling Dina: just the opposite, everybody wants to eat a lot, drink a lot Edward: smoke a lot Edward: i have lost weight Dina: whats hight or bad spelling Dina: uh, me too Dina: i cant eat or sleep properly and its been a month Dina: anyway, you will like it Edward: high end...expensive Dina: oh, i see Edward: the price of gold is extraordinarily hight Edward: high Dina: well, i dont deal much with gold these days Edward: so why did you lose weight Edward: are you too thin Edward: so one thing that will be true is that inexpensive light weight gold designs will sell Dina: no you will like my body Edward: you asked about sleeping yesterday Dina: i am on vitamin c to avoid colds and other crapy events Edward: i tend to find it difficult to fall asleep Dina: normally? Edward: stay up to 2 wake ... Dina: oh, not me Dina: i usually go to sleep before 10 and sleep good 8 hours Edward: may be you can drag me to bed and sleep Edward: it would be fun having you in bed Dina: but i havent slept more than 4 or 6 hours per night since i met you Edward: a reason to sleep Dina: yes, i will rock you to sleep Edward: i feel responsible Dina: what can i do Edward: i miss sharing a bed Dina: for what? for me being alive again? in love again? Dina: well, yes, me too Dina: you know ive been sleeping in a bachelors bed (that's how you say it?) Dina: so im quite used to it now, go figure Edward: single Dina: single Edward: are you telling me you want to sleep alone Dina: anyway i can feel you holding me at night in bed Edward: one night at a time Dina: no, silly, im just telling you how i live now Dina: but if you fill me up i will make you sleep in the couch Edward: if we can make love on an airplane we can certainly make love in a single bed Edward: what does that mean fill you up Dina: well, i dont think we will have a single bed, no Edward: no more room to make love Edward: more positions Edward: more athletics Dina: disturb me, exhaust me Edward: ? Dina: i cant translate this, its slang and i dont know the word, you know Dina: if a get angry at you for some reason Dina: oh, edward, forget it Dina: i never did this to anyone Dina: i will never ask you to leave Edward: but you can see it happening with me Dina: and will always curl at your side Dina: inside your arms Dina: no, im teasing you, i swear Edward: we are too old to waste our time with petty things Dina: i think im not in a good day for capricorn humour, no Dina: better shut up and get serious Edward: it is interesting to observe you today Dina: what i see happening with you and me is true, warm, smooth love Edward: it is an emotionality that is not yet seen with you Edward: sweet daily cohabitation Dina: well, yes, you've only known me for a month, what did you expect Dina: moment, let me put my orgasmax to calm down hormones Edward: i have seen a general consistency in you Edward: stressed but unstressed Edward: transcendent Dina: yes, my love, but you can feel im a little fed up today Edward: are you ovulating Dina: ive been through some stressful situations you know Edward: yes i can Dina: no, i dont think so Edward: nothing to appologize for Dina: anyway i now have my orgasmax Edward: you are alone with a mad woman Dina: let me see if i get smoother Edward: you are untouched unloved Dina: not to harm you without need Edward: you cannot harm me Dina: do you think so Edward: you are so sensible Edward: betrayal perhaps but we talked of that Dina: but i wont anyway Dina: oh, no, no risk of that Dina: i meant it when i told you im 100% faithful i dont know how to be otherwise Dina: im incapable of betrayal or lying, you will see its true Dina: im completely transparent Edward: bear with me a moment ...have you thought wheather the passion you feel for me is because i am an out for you from a horrible situation...or that you are love me Dina: you know i cant betray a ple in the street Dina: no dear, dont worry Edward: ? Dina: pole, kidding Dina: edward, listen Dina: if i happen not to like you, (0,0000001% chance) i will have to find other ways to escape Edward: i dont want to be your only way out Dina: because if you think i can be with you for some reason other than deep love you are mistaken/a sign that you dont know me enough yet Dina: and you are not my only way out Edward: i know you are transparent that is what evokes connection for me...that is what illicits passion Edward: i say things as a kind of sonar Dina: you are not my way out, but my way in, back to life Edward: get it Edward: words energy that enter the ether and return letting me see the unseen terrain Dina: and if you think you are capturing this kind of sign coming from me, know that you are mistaken, its only your fear speaking in your place Edward: you enliven me also Edward: annimate me Dina: so why do you doubt me Edward: i dont Dina: oh yeh Dina: for what i know i met you in a limbo Edward: like the two scenarios Dina: no , my love Dina: 2 scenarios mean this: one easier for me, the other easier for you Edward: the second romantic and lovely and preferable involves my flying to tampa or driving 3 hours Dina: lets us decide who will have the advantage Dina: but with our love i dont see 2 scenarios, only one Edward: why dont you fly into orlando Dina: well, because you know, i bought this ticket after 2 days of meeting you Edward: if you are landing in MIA why cant you catch a flight to orlando same distance same cost Edward: but it is probably 10 minutes to the hotel Dina: so i made plans for a trip where you could be invoolved or not Dina: and this time of the year tickets are very expensive, you know Dina: and this ticket to tampa was a blockage Edward: i know and changing can or may cost Dina: so if im on vacation, and renting a car anyway, whats the difference Dina: everything goes Edward: at any rate i was surprised that you opted for tampa Dina: but i already explained Edward: i am still waiting for your panties Dina: what happened was, during this month the ticket sits in the drawer and situation keeps changing every minute Dina: i bought tickets for discovery cove than gave them back Dina: i got vouchers for a single than changed it back Dina: now if i could i would give up the car too Dina: and use yours Dina: but i cant change the flight, too expensive Edward: so lets face it Dina: are you? waiting? EE018385160BR posted on dec13 Edward: what are you talking about Dina: check on mail service website to track it Dina: my gift for you for our first month Dina: surprise Edward: oh Dina: and if you payed enough attention to me you would know what im talking about Dina: silly darling Edward: it was the language and the data it was extraneous to the line of thought Dina: im a plague today, hold my tongue please Edward: silly dina Edward: i find you amusing Dina: this number is the confirmation number for the pqckage Edward: i gathered that Dina: you will receive on your pob around thrusday, anyway im tracking it Edward: i have no doubt Dina: ugh, im relieved, finally i feel like laughing, no Dina: let me go to the kitchen grab some water and then we can stop talking and start kissing Edward: ill wait Dina: ok, love, back Dina: lets sleep on this scenario issue, ok, back to this later Edward: ok Dina: anyway you will have me in your arms soon Edward: arms over head Dina: naked, so fuck outfits, no Edward: i just want to make love to you Dina: but i have i nice dress to new years eve, i promise Dina: you will love it Dina: very sexy Edward: i know Dina: close to the body, transparent and all Edward: nipples showing Dina: and high heels to get face to face with you Edward: sexy shoes Edward: cunt giving a hint of itself Dina: only for members, no Dina: private club Edward: bien sur Dina: edward, im horny for you Edward: tell me more Dina: hungry, horny, hot Dina: more about what Edward: you awaken me Dina: you or him Edward: about your horniness for me Dina: uummm Dina: im sitting here at the computer working, or reading the paper Dina: you call on msn Dina: cunt says, pick up quick its him Dina: your hot lover Dina: so i answer Dina: bonjour, mon amour Dina: cunt starts throbbing immediately Dina: heart stops beating Dina: emotion hits hara Dina: thats a free sample of my horny deep exclusive love for you Dina: and "her" longs to meet "him" all the time Dina: feel him inside her constantly Dina: carry him with her on the streets in the morning sun Dina: writes poetry for him in her mind all the time Edward: when its not poetry then poetic emails Dina: makes love to him on line 3 or 4 hours daily Dina: than hangs up due to perfect exhaustion, rests for 1/2 hour and starts to collect ideas and feelings once more, write at least 2 emails Dina: goes to sleep longing for him and feeling hiem inside her Dina: wakes up in the middle of the night crying edward, please, where are you Dina: then gives up at 5, leaves bed, switches computer on Dina: writes a morning email full of love Dina: and goes to the street in the morning sun feeling him inside her Edward: she speaks to him over great distance dreamt of her last night...sitting at a table somewhere engaged with others a hand on him gently stroking him not even known whos vague recollection of who was doing it...sense that it was she...stranger lovely stroking continues pleasurable...must of been her visiting in the night Edward: she wakes him drives him to waking consciousness Edward: takes him to the screen and sits him down Edward: waits for her to conjure herself Edward: and smiles with the sight of her bon jour dear Dina: edward, we are "it" Edward: he rises wakes sends floods of electrical feeling gozo of hormones coursing through the body he rises hard looking for her to be with her be in her Edward: to be with her Edward: to sense her Edward: smell taste touch texture Dina: oh, edward Dina: come to me, my love Edward: to be in her to feel her around him Edward: deep within that cave of creation Edward: the womb of man Edward: the path of birth Edward: so it is he enters the path of dream of birth of life itself Edward: and stands before her ...i am her dina Dina: edward, you know, if we ever get married and take your name our names together make an 18 - chai Dina: i take your name, i mean Edward: WOW Dina: you bet Edward: kites within kites names with in names. . Dina: our firrst names count the same number 1 Dina: and together each one with its original name makes a 9 - expansion Dina: one way or the other powerful Dina: i am very powerful, in astrological chart and numerology, so do you Dina: and us together even more powerful, cause your kites smoothen my cosmic square Dina: anywhere magic i go for fun to analyze us i get the same results Edward: deep magic Edward: love magic Edward: powerful magic Edward: we are "it" Dina: are you there my love Edward: yes reading thinking Edward: the connection is very powerful Dina: anywhere you turn to connection is there Dina: magic Dina: cyber Edward: a lot of energy is produced by our coming together Edward: reality Dina: cosmic Edward: yes Edward: for serious or for fun we make powerful together Edward: kiss me Dina: and this, guess, we make love, we love each other, but the real energy we can produce when we get together in sexual sacred encounter we did not even approcah yet, Dina: approach Edward: i feel you hungry mouth in mine Dina: je suis ici mon amour Dina: stroke your hair gently Dina: your neck Dina: touch your chest with my hard nipples Dina: feel an urgent need to feel skin to skin Dina: so i take my blouse off Dina: and help you to get rid of your shirt Edward: i hold you by the small of your back lightly touching you with my fingers Edward: i pull you toward me the smell of you rising to my consciousness Dina: as i feel sayszy with your love energy around me Dina: air in my brain Dina: fuzzy world around me dissolves Edward: your breasts slowly pressing against my chest lead by the errect nipples Edward: your mouth on mine Dina: oh, edward, i love you so much Edward: pressed hard against each other Edward: in each other Dina: hold me tight Edward: swaping spit Edward: let me feel your strength to its fullness Edward: swallowing tongue Dina: squeeze me Edward: pull you too me with all my strenght Edward: squeezing the air out of you Dina: touch my hair, feel its smoothness Edward: crusing your breasts against me Edward: cracking your back Edward: feel the bones of your body part before me Edward: hold your head with my left hand and stroke your hair Edward: unloose it Edward: soft between my fingers Dina: trace my face with loving smooth fingers Edward: run along the scalp the length of its tresses

Dina: delicate touch Edward: touch your cheek with my fingers Edward: move to the side of your nose Edward: to the cleft of your lip Edward: touch my lips slightly with finger and let me bite you Edward: trace my fingers along your upper lip its lobes lightly touching them Dina: suck your finger Dina: lick it Edward: touch your mouth your tongue wets my finger touch your lower lip Dina: slip my finger in your mouth Edward: yes Edward: suck it lick it Dina: i can feel you Edward: fuck it as though it were me Edward: it is me Edward: cock surrogate Edward: suck me dina suck me fuck me Dina: hold me Edward: swallow me in spit Dina: i put my legs around your waist as you carry me to bed Edward: press your breasts against me Edward: your cunt your hungry cunt Edward: even as i am laying you down i am in you Edward: simultaneously as i lay you down Dina: aand i suck you with all my mouths Dina: above, bellow Edward: i am in you dina slipping in you as the weight of my body lands upon you in the bed legs still around me Dina: sucking you Dina: finger, cock, tongue Edward: sucking me Edward: fucking me dina Dina: fuck me Edward: your legs around me squeezing me into you Dina: deeper and deeper Edward: thirsty for your fluids squeezing you Edward: your back arched screaming into me Dina: there we go squeezing in synchro and i smile Edward: we make love well together Dina: throbbing Dina: cunt throbbing crying for you Dina: calling you Dina: screaming for him Edward: hot wet beckoning Dina: you, him, all of you Dina: crying with pleasure come to me edward, my love, oh Edward: mouths breath cunt tongue cock Edward: come dina come to me come in me come in you Dina: i squezze legs around your back, invinting you to the core of my being Dina: touch my cervix Dina: make me feel my nside Edward: my hands hold your arms above your head Edward: stretch your body your breasts your cunt your legs against me Dina: mouth on mouth cock in cunt Dina: make my insensitive cervix cry with pleasure Edward: feel the tip of me penetrate to the core of you Dina: fill my canal to the top Edward: no cracks, a whole Edward: you are wet dina fluid every where Dina: mouth cheek legs belly Edward: breasts wet Edward: a mass of loving pleasure Dina: cock in cunt sealed together Edward: throbbing at the same rhythm Dina: on only living being Dina: one Edward: heart beating heart Edward: yes one Edward: we are made one Edward: one being Edward: breathing together Dina: we are Dina: one heart Dina: one soul Dina: 2 bodies made one Edward: one self Edward: "the beast with two backs" Edward: two heads one groin Dina: siamese Dina: held together in eternity Edward: eternal pleasure panting swaying moaning Dina: in eternity Edward: love me dina? Edward: sit in bed stay still Dina: love edward, oh, edward, yes, yes Edward: love you Edward: hold each other Dina: you inside me hard Edward: embrace Dina: throbbing Edward: still Dina: raising energy to our heads Dina: eye in eye Edward: arms around each other Edward: legs around each other Edward: energy coursing through our heads rising Edward: aglow Dina: just heard your voice asking love me dina? Edward: on fire Dina: energy grows Dina: surrounds us Edward: flows through us Dina: through our chests Dina: a giant egg of light around us Edward: brilliant Edward: through our groin Dina: shinning Edward: through our heads Edward: radiating Edward: consciousness Edward: peace Dina: sigh, my heart hurts wit so much love Dina: edward, let me stay with you here, inside me, forever Edward: let me hold you and send my energy through my chest through your body Edward: embrace you Dina: ah, sigh Dina: heart chakra Dina: open Edward: heart to heart Edward: soul to soul Edward: eye to eye holding breath Dina: edward Edward: where Edward: kiss your lips Edward: dina Edward: i can feel your skin Dina: oh, edward Edward: the electricity on it Dina: i love you so much Dina: you give megoose bumps when you touch me like this Edward: let me brush them with my finger tips feel them rise feel the hair on you rise Dina: hold me edward Dina: say you love me Edward: i am holding you dina Edward: i love you dina Edward: love you love you love you Dina: uummm, sigh Dina: this is too much, this feeling, too deep Edward: too strong Edward: it is easy to say i love you it is like speaking Dina: intrained inside my cells Dina: at dna level Dina: i recognize you from the beginning of times Dina: all signs pointing to you and only you Edward: i would love to spread your legs and feel your wet cunt with my fingers Dina: so come, my love, feel it, touch it Edward: yes gravity will find itself Dina: wet for you Edward: by your loving touch wetted Edward: let me put my fingers in your cunt touch your wet hair Edward: swollen Dina: put one, 2, 3 fngers inside me Edward: feel it hot and throbbing Edward: sucking Edward: touching, exploring Edward: three fingers inside of you Edward: each conscious moving touching seeing Dina: touch my clit Edward: feeling Dina: kiss me Edward: feel the rings of the lining of your canal Edward: suck me Dina: lick me Edward: touch your clit put my face close to it examine it look at it...taste it lick it Dina: bite me gently Edward: take my tongue and gently let the tip of it touch it Edward: trace the side and form of it so lightly Edward: see it harden Dina: oh, edward Dina: dont stop Edward: gently bite you Edward: gently slip my tongue between my teeth and tease it Dina: im moaning Edward: tongue the top of it Dina: ah, ahh, ahh Edward: breath my lips across it Dina: dont stop edward, dont stop Edward: slip my tongue down into your cunt Edward: down into the center of your cunt Dina: i suck your tongue Edward: taste the wet of you Edward: lick you Edward: slurp the fluid of your cunt Dina: oh, edward Edward: drink like a man long lost in the desert Edward: slip my tongue into the channel of you and drink Edward: taste lick Edward: devour lips against the sides of you Dina: oh, edward, take me to the verge of orgasm but dont let me come Edward: hair in my nose Dina: not yet Edward: tongue in you you are so wet Edward: oozing fluid Dina: yes, throbbing Edward: my face wet with you Dina: edward, put your cock inside me Edward: chin cheek face wet with you Edward: i slip my cock into you Dina: kiss me, let me feel my own taste in your lips Edward: head thick pink Edward: kiss you wet with your self Dina: oh, edward Edward: and slip my rigid staff completely in you Dina: you give me so much pleasure Edward: all the way in you Edward: you breath and love me Dina: yes, edward, gently Edward: open your mouth and cunt and i slip my self Dina: slip to the core of me Edward: in and silkily out Edward: feeling you all of you Edward: in and into the center of you Edward: now thick and swollen Edward: i am filled with semen dina Edward: dina dina dina Edward: come dina come Edward: let me hear you moan Edward: scream Dina: flood me edward Edward: come dina Dina: im screaming Edward: come dina Dina: screaming loudly Dina: oh, edward, edward, my love Edward: let me hear you scream as i come in you Edward: fill you fuck with you come in you Edward: come and come and come Dina: i am screming, coming with you Edward: fuck me dina fuck me fuck me Dina: oh, edward Dina: i love you love you love you Edward: i love you Edward: fuck me fuck me dina come with me love me Edward: im coming dear Edward: let the electricity flow into you from me Dina: with you, crying Edward: come dina come fuck me fuck me Dina: flood me, drown me in semen Dina: throbbing Edward: wow Edward: cock convulsing orgasm wave and wave pumping semen into you Edward: filling you with seed Dina: may this sedd flourish Dina: seed Dina: oh god, edward Edward: i feel as though i have made love drained Edward: oh goddess dina Dina: yes, me too Dina: oh, edward, how good it is to stay quiet in your arms after making love to you so wildly Edward: are you wet Dina: soaking Edward: yes. still Edward: dripping Edward: lovely Edward: i love the image of you Edward: naked wet dripping in love Dina: oh, edward Dina: hold me Edward: i am breathless Dina: hug me Edward: quiet Dina: support me Edward: hold you gently Edward: hug you Edward: feel you Dina: you run through me Dina: i hear your deep voice saying this to me in the quiet of the night Dina: murmuring in my ear Dina: dina i love you Edward: anything Dina: i love you edward Edward: bring a smile to your lips Edward: face pressed against mine Dina: you are music to make my life dance Edward: you are dance to make my life music Dina: yu wanted a smile you have it, big one now Edward: nice afternoon Dina: yes, edward, like always Dina: better and better Edward: till tomorrow Dina: are you going? Edward: no Dina: i thought Edward: well it was sort of an aloha Dina: aloha or goodbye Edward: aloha is both Dina: so which Edward: shalom hello goodbye peace on earth Edward: are you content to be with me now Edward: then let us be with each other Dina: why bother to ask, my love, you already know the answer is yes, oh, so content, really Edward: there is plenty of time to be apart Dina: there was too much time apart already Edward: so be with me now speak to me Edward: fill my ear with love Dina: i am with you Dina: speak to you Edward: whisper to me Edward: love you deeply Dina: i whisper in your year,edward,ilove you Dina: ear Edward: i would love to kiss those lips Dina: i love you so much Edward: i bet you are a "good kisser" Dina: my lover for life Dina: you bet Dina: moment Edward: conscious kissing is so erotic Edward: so pleasing Dina: edward, moment, i have a customer on phone vccanyou wait Edward: yes Edward: dont hurry Dina: ok, done Dina: back Edward: ok Edward: how did it go Dina: 4 orders today, a record for this meager december Dina: i orgasmax, 3 clipfits Edward: let it bring light Dina: 1, i mean Edward: tis the season Dina: yes, dina, go work a bit, stop making love, no? Edward: laugh Edward: i like the title orgasmax Dina: yes Dina: good name, uh Dina: your woman is quite a genious Edward: absolutely Dina: funny is i was shy with this name Dina: but had to let it out Edward: i had this marvelous product sold maybe a million buck in the seventies called skinny rings Edward: and people react in very different ways, most funny Dina: whats skinny rings Edward: big response little wire rings loveknots solitair so forth set with small 1/2 point diamond emerald ruby sapphire opal Dina: why skinny Edward: there were six designs they stacked up and fit into each other Dina: oh, i see Edward: they are little thin wire half milimeter Dina: so where did it go Edward: when i would show the rings people would say oh they are so skinny Edward: so to avoid all of that i called them Skinny Rings Dina: maybe you can work for me, no, be my partner, for im a bit shy to sell myown creations Edward: when i went to Hawaii in 80 i stopped manufacturing and wholesaling them Edward: but the product would lend itself to cyber sale Edward: they are adorable Edward: the first little diamond ring a little girl owns Dina: maybe we can design something together, product i mean, no love or life Edward: women loved them wore them on every finger Edward: they were an archetype ...of ring Dina: ah, yes, ring with meaning, ring with some soul Edward: they cost about 7 bucks to make Dina: for how much did you sell Edward: they were essence of ring minimul ring Edward: it depended upon what gold was doing but they were designed to retail for around 18 to 30 dollars Edward: i do not know how to market on the web Edward: but you do Dina: we can talk Dina: clipfit costs less then a dolar Dina: and sells 7 or 8 Edward: so you would have to sell hundreds and thousands of them to make any money Dina: good profit, uh Edward: maybe we can sell them here Edward: retail 4.99 Dina: yes, but clipfit has this potential you know Edward: sorry misunderstood Dina: everybody should have a clipfit Edward: excellent profit potential Edward: US is a huge market Dina: because its really good Edward: i know Edward: Florida filled with old people with aches pains menopausal Dina: thats one of my plans for usa Edward: seeking curatives Dina: now wait to hear my plans around orgasmax Dina: you will killl me Edward: yes Dina: but im very serious and determined about it Dina: no,only in person Dina: dec 30 Edward: looking at your web site you have very serious skills Dina: after we mitigate our hunger a bit Edward: what dec 30 Dina: i will tell you about my plans with prgasmax Dina: i am skilled but need partners Dina: alone there's not much i can accomplish Edward: i was talking about the design Edward: why is that Dina: i have this gold mine here but hardly make some money Dina: im a good designer, you know, but well, a bit too original maybe for fashion jewelry Edward: why is what Edward: alone there is not much i can accomplish? Dina: i dont know if my design is good to sell millions Dina: moment keep typing be right back Dina: i would prefer to charge millions for one-off pieces you know Edward: too much to do Dina: alone, i mean Dina: i never had partners but really need them to expand Dina: so im open now to find them Dina: people i can trust Dina: people who can add to my skils and talent not profit form it Edward: what do you envision these people doing? Dina: and yes, i can easily create a virtual shop for you if you like Dina: well, i want to limit myself to creation Edward: for us Dina: product design Dina: graphis design Dina: advertising Dina: graphic, i mean Edward: where do you manufacturing Dina: new ideas Dina: now? Edward: retail wholesale Dina: both Edward: i mean if you are in production Dina: but i wasnt able to wholesale like i should Edward: if you are living here Dina: problem with sales Edward: design? Edward: why werent you able to wholesale Dina: my products were aproved in a company that has more than 100 shops, but then i didnt find people to sell and visit, you know Dina: so the contact is there, i sell to 3 or 4 of the 100 and this is it Edward: really? Edward: encroyable Dina: not enough energy to do everything, you know, and besides i hate to sell and visit customers Dina: i like to talk to retail customers on phone Dina: Dina give advice to their ailments Edward: describe the product Edward: it sounds like your product has enormous potential Dina: but go to a shop? wholesale client? no way, i get into my shell and disappear Dina: you bet Dina: in usa my idea is to go virtual Dina: retail Edward: it is very classy Dina: magnets come from china and are very cheap Dina: and rubber finishing is manufactured in sao paulo for a very good price Dina: now with orgasmax chassis im not satisfied Dina: cause you know, i have this goldsmith who works for me, very skilled, but expensive and always delayed, pisses me off Dina: so i need to take a step and make it bijoux, non precious metal Dina: problem is i have to order a thousand Dina: too big an investment Dina: for me alone Edward: see Dina: if i could do this orgasmax price would fall to the ground Dina: we could sell cheap with big profits like clipfit Dina: so you see why i need partners Edward: women are obsessed with orgasm in this country...viagra. .on and on orgasmax may Dina: my idea is to have a distributor in brazil and maybe manufacture them here, its very easy Edward: what do you want to make bijoux and not gold? Dina: you know, now they are beginning to put testosterone on skin we have to stop this now, a mission Dina: because everybody must have one, you know Dina: i am like this in business Dina: i want to get my mine and do something useful Dina: make my skills available Edward: what is with the gold and the thousand pieces Dina: you will see this chassis, wont be light in gold Dina: now is silver, not gold Edward: so it is the frame the bezel for the magnet Dina: but is an excess, waste Edward: so silver gold plated Dina: yes, and orgasmax fixes around ankle with an elastic band, does not fit with gold Dina: you see Edward: what is the gold part Dina: its more color Dina: where did you see gold Edward: you said you had a goldsmith pissed you off Dina: gold too expensive Dina: gold goes with leather threads and leather threads dont work as good as cotton elastic Dina: so make it in other metal but had to order 1000 Dina: yes, the goldsmith works with silver too Edward: yes, thats what i mean Dina: anyway, remeber when you guessed you should drive a taxi (absurd) Edward: im sure its not a problem Dina: thats what i mean, my love, we have a business to run, ata mevin Edward: ahnee maveen Edward: so what it? Dina: you've got yourself a woman, a wife and a business partner Edward: bravo Dina: what more would you like Edward: trifecta Dina: or ask from life Dina: a lover, i mean Edward: i am overwhelmed Edward: it is usually all my energy that is the cause of everything Dina: why, didnt you ask for this, beware of what you ask Edward: i did Dina: well, do you want me to repeat your words, better copy and paste, no Dina: it is usually all my energy that is the cause of everything Edward: it is one thing to ask it is another to receive Dina: imagine twice this energy ahn Dina: so how do you feel receiving for a change Edward: though the universe supports it has really gone all out for me this time Edward: it fills me with delight Edward: with a warm energy Edward: in my throat Dina: uummm, smile Dina: you know, im ready to be successful Edward: umm smile gam ken Edward: i can help Dina: in life, love, work Dina: im tired of being "sub" Dina: sub-loved Dina: sub-productive Edward: wow Dina: sub-estimed Edward: well said well submitted Dina: sub-recognized Edward: and when customers piss us off we can always speak hebrew and fly away for a while Dina: sub merged Edward: yes doesnt take a lot to make money Edward: right idea right time Dina: tell me about it, i never did, you know, despite my genious creativity Edward: takes only one idea Dina: oh, wait to hear from orgasmax and the rest, peeeerfect timing Dina: i hope you will approve of me cause it is daring Edward: you seem fairly sane...well grounded ward in reality Dina: just as hint do you know condom sales in japan fell 40% this year cause every japanese is in love with cybersex Edward: multi-dimensional reality Edward: mmmmm vvvvvvvvvvvery interesting Dina: yes, fact Dina: research Dina: do you know what we are Dina: cybersex masters Edward: i have been informed...that i have to sign off Dina: thats our most recent skill, no Edward: yes we are Dina: ok, love Edward: yes it is Dina: will miss you soooo much Edward: love you Dina: love you too

Wednesday Dec 15 (an intense month)

Dec 15 forget it

Edward, my love, good morning. I was checking airfares between JAX and TPA. It's ridiculous. Forget all about it, ok? I will drive no problem and meet you in Orlando as scheduled before. Love/ D

Dina: hei, dear Dina: hei dear Dina: are you there Edward: i stepped away for a minute Edward: yes Dina: ah Edward: how are you Dina: edward, i will have to make you wait another moment Edward: ok Dina: be right back Edward: dont rush Edward: oh chin chin da de da da de da da de da dum dum de da da da da dum de da da da da dum de da da da da Dina: oh god edward Dina: i cant stand this no more Edward: qua Dina: not a minute Dina: im so tired Edward: umm Dina: now i convinced the psy to give mum a lexotan Edward: anti depress. Dina: i had to go out for an hour and when i returned she was hysterical Dina: i cant remeber the name Dina: to calm her down Dina: i need one too, you bet Dina: remembered Edward: nutz Edward: sedative Edward: yeh bananas is no fun Dina: im worst than you when you lost the car Edward: madness and all its forms Dina: i dont know who i am any more Dina: outside form your lover Edward: tell me dear, do you have memory problems (traaaauma) Edward: no not at all accute memory Dina: ah, thanks god Dina: so i tried to access your sister's website (i didnt know you had a sister) Edward: i have two Dina: oh, it will be nice to have a good sister in law, ahn Dina: a virgo and all Dina: wow, how many are you Edward: four Edward: i am the eldest Dina: but then i had a problem with the computer and had to restart, so when i got online again you were already there Dina: so i couldnt explore her site but soon will Edward: did you listen to carols voice Dina: what does she do Edward: oh

Dina: no, i didnt Edward: she can also be reached on some google sites Edward: but her home site has an interesting recording of her work Edward: so you are surrounded by madness today Dina: so what does she do Dina: carol Edward: commercial work Edward: radio television Edward: voice work Edward: narrator Edward: today was the first time i heard her Edward: she was truly wonderful Dina: ah, well, i will return to her later Edward: i could find nothing to criticise her for Edward: ah well return to me Dina: well, love, happy anniversary Edward: toi aussi Edward: give us a hug Dina: im with you always, at least in my heart Edward: you sound weak Dina: did you like brazilian painting Dina: what would you expect Edward: yes reminded me of something Dina: i arrived and switched the computer immediately Edward: maybe picasso or matisse Dina: to look for you Dina: didnt have time to take my clothes off Edward: did you find me Edward: oh please take them off type naked Edward: what an image Dina: i got your first screen, so you werent there, but yet i could hear from you Edward: sitting in your executive chair legs apart cunt dripping wet Dina: and then in less than 10 min you came in Dina: so did you read all my emails Edward: mmmm Edward: i love physically engaging you Dina: let the situation calm down a bit here, cause i cant close my door now Edward: i know Edward: yes i read all your e mails Edward: heard your song Edward: so, i want to apologize, i had no idea it was so complicated to fly to tampa Edward: love when you whisper in my ear. . Edward: so strong Edward: i love strength Dina: happy anniversary, my love Edward: shun weakness Dina: despise weakness Edward: not despise am not attracted to it Dina: i mean, happy first month Edward: yes first month Edward: did you read the littany of writing i left on your screen? Dina: so we are left with only one scenario now, eh Edward: yes Dina: yes, i did, thats what i told you some lines before Edward: i look forward to our rendevouz Dina: oh, me too, edward Edward: okay Dina: thanks god its only 12 days now Edward: take us out of this madness Edward: into the arms of sanity Edward: can you believe that 12 days

Dina: yeah, you know, its thrilling to type, but sometimes tiring, no Edward: not for me Edward: i type 60 words or more per minute Dina: so i want to stop typing, but dont want to leave you... Edward: plus i can write Edward: do not need to censor Dina: i m not saying the physicall act Edward: so let me hold you kiss you Edward: but well, oh, forget it Dina: yes, edward, please Edward: shall i hang up Dina: hold me tight and let this storm pass Edward: let me hold you in my arms Edward: hold you against me Dina: no, dear, thats not what i meant Dina: you are my light Edward: put my lips on your neck Edward: breath the warm smell of you Edward: kiss your neck lightly Edward: and hold you tight Edward: squeeze you Edward: feel the weight of you held in my arms Dina: yes dear,please do Edward: feel you surrender your self into me Dina: i can feel you... Edward: feel your chest warm against mine Edward: feel the warmth of your chest fill mine Dina: oh edward, i want to be with you, surrendered in your arms Edward: quiet Edward: feel your back Edward: tranquille Edward: my hands around you Edward: listening to the silence, to your breath Edward: take the pain out of your existence Dina: you will have to take some care of me Edward: let your self go relax into me Edward: surrender your pain Edward: let go the energy Dina: make me be born again Edward: of missery Dina: which i already am Edward: take the poison from you Edward: the angst the anguish Dina: yes, please do Edward: the sadness the misery Dina: use your laser Edward: surrender it to me Edward: let me take it from you Edward: release Edward: let it go dina Edward: you have no need of it Edward: it does not serve you Edward: it is not you Dina: you know, im giving up many things Edward: it is to be let lose Dina: so that i can relax a bit before travelling Edward: well give up your misery Dina: im paying bills in advance Edward: this was to be a necessary break for you as you remember Dina: i want to be free for at least a month Edward: let us see how long a day is Dina: without any appointments or obligations

Dina: if i decided to stay with you for longer Dina: decide, i mean Edward: six years is a long servitude Dina: maybe i will suspend the shop for a while Edward: stop planing and wait and see Dina: it wont make any difference you know Edward: in either case the first day will be interesting Dina: moment. phone Edward: good Edward: business? Dina: yes Edward: never do business on an empty stomach or when stressed Edward: never make decisions when stressed Edward: be in balance Edward: seek your center Edward: dont forget to breathe Edward: focus Edward: let the crap leave you Edward: it serves no purpose but to enslave you and keep you Edward: stop dancing with the devil Edward: madness Dina: moment Dina: edward, im back! Edward: hello Dina: it was nothing new Edward: anything new Dina: ok, teacher Dina: odd how we write the same Edward: cher amie Edward: ok dina Dina: i am establishing the basis for my partnership with Paulo, so he was on the phone accepting my porposal Dina: proposal, i mean Dina: mom stopped yelling and is hearing wagner Dina: better wagner than yelling,no Edward: si Dina: so, guess, i have a partner now Edward: yeh verilly yeh Edward: congratulations Dina: god bless me once again Edward: may you prosper Edward: mazal tov Dina: cause i always needed a partner and never had Edward: baruch ha shem Edward: so now you have a partner Edward: that you always needed Dina: yeah, 2 Edward: laugh Edward: good that you are getting things done Dina: the universe, etc, etc Edward: i could be Partner if you wish Edward: partner prine Dina: yeah, thats what im saying Dina: 2 partners Edward: the universe etc etc Dina: one far more complete than the other, no Edward: you are drifting Dina: what is prine Edward: prime like prime number or a/prime b/prime Edward: most important Dina: ah, prime Dina: watch your spell

Edward: laugh Edward: first second Dina: hei, edward Dina: im back to the world of living Edward: im listening Edward: oh good Dina: lets enjoy the afternoon Edward: i hate to see you drowning in crap Edward: yes let me touch you Edward: unbotton your blouse Dina: yeah, but yet im grateful i can have you Edward: play with your teats Dina: oh, wrong, no buttons Edward: yes we are good for each other for that Dina: what is this thing of yours with buttons Edward: i am yours and you are mine Dina: fetish or something Edward: so i will lift it up exposing your breasts Edward: breasts are a metaphor for undressing Edward: buttons take many forms Edward: ie reluctance the buttons of reluctance Edward: i am yours and you are mine Edward: no reluctance Edward: there are internal buttons in emotional contructions that are internalized Dina: and no buttons cause im always naked for you Edward: so when i speak of buttons it is a symbol for undressing you Dina: i come with many years of guarantee, promise Edward: let me undo your buttons Dina: to function without defects for long Dina: and if not you are allowed to change me for a newest model Edward: i have no doubt you are sound and strong Edward: healthy and lovely Edward: i dont think there is another you Edward: rare element Dina: you bet, nor another you, ahn Edward: gem emerald Edward: i try to imagine the cotton of your costume Edward: its shape its form Dina: oh, edward, where im the emerald you are the gold Edward: the feel of it Dina: its funny you always refer to me as an emerald Dina: a peruvian shaman told me once i had to wear emeralds Edward: where you are the emerald i am the matrix the rock which holds it from wence it was born Dina: but you know, i made a ring, the stone was ugly Edward: i have a great love of emeralds and gave birth to some extraordinary ones Dina: so i ended melting it Edward: never make a ring for an ugly stone Edward: the stone should dictate the ring Edward: i dont have any emeralds now Dina: but you have me Edward: a living emerald, then Dina: sparkling Edward: yes i prefer a woman to a stone Edward: you are a gem ofa woman Dina: well, but a precious woman, then Dina: ops, again Edward: rare alive with the sun shining from with in the stone Edward: go head Dina: edward, je t'aime Edward: merci Dina: je suis tres hereuse avec toi

Edward: i am glad Dina: you were supposed to say you love me back (laugh) Edward: i think you have all of me and are please with Me Edward: the Me of Me Edward: that is who i am with you Edward: because i can be Dina: not all, yet, ahn Edward: you know what i mean Edward: i yearn to take you in my hands Dina: yes, im teasing you Edward: yes still the flesh to go Edward: yes take me in your hand Edward: put me in your mouth Edward: tease me kiss me Dina: but you know, even if you were the beast this beauty here would still bet on you Edward: you would be right to Dina: so let me kiss your lips Dina: your eyes Dina: your ear Dina: let me whisper in your ear Dina: anything Dina: but the music of my soul Dina: the one that comes from within Dina: no words Dina: can you listen Edward: let me turn my head and kiss those lips Edward: yes the sound of silence Dina: yes, edward, kiss me Edward: the sound of you Dina: i open my lips to let your tongue in Edward: wet my lips press wet against yours open your mouth Edward: and slip my tongue into you Dina: your tongue meets mine Edward: we twine like snakes Edward: i suck your tongue with mine Edward: tasting each other swallowing Dina: feel your texture Dina: your taste Dina: your breath Edward: breath the breath of you Edward: slowly savouring your mouth suck your cheeks in Dina: take my life from yours Edward: take your breath away Edward: you from mine Dina: oh, edward Edward: long we kiss Dina: hours Edward: yes, hours Edward: lay in each others face breathing Dina: joined Edward: soft sweet exchange of breath and soul Dina: cunt starts calling Edward: hello she Edward: speak to me Dina:: she does not want to speak with you, only with him Edward: he is listening Edward: attentive Edward: always allert to her Edward: beginning to rise Dina: so what is he waiting for Edward: waiting

Edward: sending impulses from his tip Dina: let me take him in my hand Edward: let me split you open dina spread your legs Edward: slip him in you Edward: he is hard erect Dina: throbbing Edward: stroke him as he rises Edward: so they can throb in unison Edward: my testicles are hard Edward: yearning all is hard bursting Edward: throbbing hot Dina: oh, edward Edward: come to me Edward: my cock is hot to the touch Edward: let me slip into you Edward: guide me with your hand Edward: whisper in my ear as you hold me to you Edward: raise your hips and force me in you Edward: slide down the wet canal of yours slowly head shaft till i am slowly all within you Edward: fuck me dina Edward: fuck me i love you Dina: yes, my love come inside me for i yearn for you Edward: make love to me dina Dina: im calling you Dina: cunt hand mouth Dina: heart soul Edward: raise your lips and sing to me Dina: brain mind Dina: cunt Edward: grab me Edward: marry me in union Dina: cant sing now, only another kind of song Edward: let our bodies wed Dina: our souls Edward: fuck me dina Dina: im moaning Edward: let your cunt sing her praises Dina: sighing loud Edward: fucking you Edward: let my cock sing to you Edward: speak to you Edward: throb within you Edward: hear your deepest voice Dina: yes, let them sing in unison just like our souls do Dina: feel your hair against my hair Edward: yes, my love, i can feel you Dina: oh, edward Edward: wet pubis mound glistening against each other Dina: i desire you sooo much Edward: stick my hands around your soft ass Dina: this morning i was wet in the street just at the thought of you Edward: and pull you towards me Edward: squeeze me to you Edward: with all my strength Dina: yes, i hold you tightly, put my legs around you Edward: spread you fingers groping you Edward: cock deep with in you Edward: mouth locked Edward: smile wet with tongue and cheek Edward: fuck me dina Edward: hold me with all your strength

Dina: im fucking you edward Dina: holding you Edward: squeeze your legs around me Edward: hard dina Dina: pressing my hips on your groin Edward: fuck me hard Dina: moving with you Edward: let my fingers enter you Edward: my cock in you Edward: une seul corp Edward: fuck me dina move with me Dina: im swaying with you Dina: my haed spins Dina: head Edward: moving in tango Edward: fuck me dina Edward: kiss me Dina: oh, edward Edward: head my head deep within you Dina: i kiss you passionately Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Dina: my fingers dived deeply into your curls Edward: kiss me kiss me i love you Dina: i love you edward Dina: my man Dina: drink of my mouth let me drink of yours Edward: my fingers in your cunt Edward: my cock Edward: my fingers in your ass Dina: your mouth in mine Dina: oh, edward Dina: exhaust me with pleasure Dina: teeth Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Edward: let me fill you with me Dina: oh, edward, lets come Edward: lay your breasts bare and put my mouth on them Dina: flood me with your fluid Edward: fuck you dina fuck you come dina Edward: come dina Edward: come Dina: come Dina: my cunt sucks your cock wildly Edward: come Dina: pressing Edward: come dina Dina: pressing Edward: come Edward: fuck me Dina: oh, edward Edward: come dina come Edward: come Dina: im coming, edward Edward: come dina i love you Edward: oh dina come Edward: me dina come Edward: i love you come Dina: oh, god Edward: come dina Edward: come so i can come Edward: let me know dina come Edward: come dina fuck me i love you

Edward: oh fuck me dina Dina: im coming edward, i telling you yelling, screaming Dina: moaning loud Dina: oh, edward, oh, edward Edward: fuck me dina i am coming Dina: nonstop orgasm Edward: fuck me dina Dina: come, my love, come with me Edward: love darling come in you come in you come in you Edward: oh dina fuck me Edward: come dina we are come Edward: orgasm deep with in Dina: oh, my love Dina: how i love you edward Edward: oh dina come Dina: with all cells in my being Edward: oh my love lay deep wet hot within you Edward: throbbing cunt i smell you Dina: agh Dina: sigh Edward: smell your breath taste you Dina: kiss me sweetly, my love Edward: let me hold you dina Edward: lay naked against my breast Edward: let me kiss you Edward: let me enjoy your taste Edward: your hips against me Edward: your smell Edward: your cunt gripping me swollen Edward: the loving smell that comes from you when we make love Edward: cock swollen still hard pumping semen into you Edward: smell your sweat your pits lick them with my tongue Edward: taste the saltyness of your sweat Edward: i love fucking you dina Dina: oh edward, i enjoy you so much Edward: making love to you Dina: you know me so well Edward: you know how to please me so easily Edward: could make love for hours Dina: can make love for hours Edward: you please me Edward: to please you Dina: so do you Edward: i love your form Edward: are you wet Edward: tell me Dina: i want to be with you, for you Edward: speak to me Dina: yes, im wet, stil throbbing Edward: whisper in my ear Dina: really, in fact Edward: speak to me Dina: had a factual orgasm Edward: put your fingers in you pretend they are me Dina: i love you, my man (in your ear) Edward: what is a factual orgasm Dina: no fingers needed, the thought of you, the energy of you so powerful Dina: a real one Dina: not virtual Edward: beautiful Edward: extraordinary Dina: moment

Dina: can you imagine with the real thing Edward: i would like to hear you come hear you scream pant say my name edward edward oh edward Edward: aiyyyy Dina: moment Dina: important Edward: what Dina: i was talking on the phone with my server Dina: i asked him to create a virtual shop in english Dina: so that i can operate and sell to usa Edward: that would be smart Dina: i have be asking for this for almost a year Dina: now he called me to say i will have the system in 2 or 3 weeks Edward: kind of like getting gold smiths to do work Edward: that is good Dina: i really like them, they are very efficinet Dina: and cheap Edward: yes efficiency is such a lovely thing Dina: and funny thing is, they are in miami, you know, the servers Edward: competency Dina: all they have here is technical support Edward: all coming together Dina: so, you see, universe, etc, etc Dina: oh, edward, you enlighten my life, you know Edward: your style may do well in florida Dina: yes i can sense it Dina: in less than a month im getting things i was struggling for for so long Edward: feel you come Dina: i think im more assertive now Dina: i think the universe is supporting us Dina: so people feel im not kidding Dina: i know i am blessed in that regard Dina: or bluffing Edward: laser Dina: so this is it Edward: very good Dina: we have a business Dina: virtual, like you wanted Edward: speak to the center of people Dina: well, the phone call Edward: enlighten others Dina: calmed my orgasm, what can i do Dina: how can i talk to my server throbbing and moaning Dina: had to make an effort Edward: you can stick your fingers in your cunt and describe it to me Edward: i am still aroused Dina: figure out what i go through making love to you while the phone rings Edward: interested Edward: in what i have created Dina: and the doorbell rings Edward: i know must be funny Dina: so let me concentrate on you again Dina: well you at least know that my love making for you is infinite Edward: no i am fine Edward: i just love the images of you Edward: your body Edward: men respond that way Dina: every day i fell like i take giants steps Dina: what way Edward: images of women Dina: yes, i've heard Dina: and you think women dont?

Dina: thats a myth Dina: fake Edward: visually Dina: yes, visually, me too Dina: your chest gives me a thrill Dina: your butt Dina: your cock Edward: so much i do not know Dina: your mouth, hair, legs Dina: how would you know Dina: ok, love plays some part Dina: being loved Edward: only if you tell me Edward: love is the most powerful aphrodisiac Edward: especially for an intelligent woman Dina: now you dont need to see me Dina: to be perceived Dina: for you never did and yet you make love to me endlessly Edward: that is because i can see your soul Edward: but your wet cunt or soft legs or breast Edward: so its not merely imagery Edward: no it is not imagery at all for me Edward: it is you responding to me Edward: although imagery will add Edward: me responding to you Edward: we are actually making love Dina: im feeling beautiful Edward: endlesssly for that is how i respoond to you Edward: you are beautiful to me Edward: i am avid Dina: but you will see that im beautiful Dina: not only to you Dina: exotic Dina: sophisticated Edward: who else is there Edward: i know you are sophisticated Dina: where, on screen Edward: learned Dina: can you see something Edward: cultured Edward: quick witted Dina: my friend is on line but i told her im busy Edward: yes i can see into your soul Dina: and i you Edward: never felt such likeness Edward: im so at home with you Dina: hei edward Dina: are you there Dina: what are you doing Edward: talking to you Dina: waiting for me to respond Dina: exclusively to you Edward: yes Dina: i too feel at home with you Dina: to you Edward: i want to hold you Edward: do what i can with words Dina: hold me, my love Edward: but they are so feeble Edward: to the reality of the passion that i feel for you Dina: yes, compared with what we will soon have Edward: i can feel the energy exchange between us

Dina: what we feel now is 10% of what we will Edward: it is electrifying Edward: hold your ribs in my arms your chest Edward: feel the weight of you Dina: my love, will you be very sad if we say goodbye Edward: write your itinerary on an e mail for me Dina: what itinerary Edward: no talk to you later ciao Dina: hei, wait Edward: you know when you get in and all of that Dina: you are always in a hurry Dina: get in, explain Edward: i am very quick Edward: if you say good by good by Dina: but you have to learn to say goodbye more sweetly Edward: airplane Dina: explain what you want to know Edward: but i do you do not hear it Dina: edward, be didatic Dina: please Dina: ahm you dont know this word Dina: its port not eng Edward: written down on e mail the date you arrive the time the hotel you are staying at the address the room number Edward: i know what didactic is Dina: ok Dina: i thought there was no such word, sorry Dina: are you groguess or something Dina: broguess Dina: enraged Dina: impatient Edward: no not with you Dina: ok, then, my love Edward: no not impatient Dina: i will right down all i know, except room number which i dont have yet Edward: but i am very quick but there is always love and consciousnes in it all Dina: and will send you later Dina: what will you do for the rest of te afternoon Edward: okay Dina: will you miss me Edward: go out into the cold and think of you Edward: yes i will miss you yearn for you Edward: long for you Dina: i wish i was there to warm you Dina: wish we were together Dina: soon Edward: i know days Dina: check you pobox tomorrow Dina: maybe you will find something Edward: you say good bye so many times so many ways Dina: do you like it Edward: wouldnt that be lovely Dina: or you prefer sharp Edward: what Edward: lovely, i mean Edward: when i perceive that you are saying good bye even if it isnt explicit i respond with good bye Edward: it is the logical conclusion so i say goodbye ciao see you later Dina: so, my love, now i have to go, will write to you later Edward: it is abrupt because you are not used to being said good bye to without you having articulated the words good bye Dina: and talk to you tomorrow

Edward: but i am responding to you Dina: i will be here, no appointments Edward: lovely i hope to have your package Edward: do not worry be well Dina: bye now, je t'embrace Edward: bye

Dec 15 Dina - Schwarz voices

Dear Edward So you Schwarzs are really a voice clan, eh? Amazing, Carol voices. Let's see if mine is entitled to belong(laugh). Edward, i ask you to be patient with me for the next few days. I'm in the middle of quite a revolution here. I am changing all my professional scheme, establishing new connections and partnerships, i'm even changing credit cards system to allow me to debit on line, instead of through electronic machines like it is now. It's cheaper, more practical and we will be able to use it anywhere, usa included. Beside this, i have to finish arrangements for mom, to open access to her account for my brother, collect documents, phone numbers, establish routines, so many things. My vacation on the gym begins on next wednesday so i will have a bit more time to finish everything. Maybe i won't be as available for you as usual. Doesn't mean i dont want to meet you everyday to talk, make love, give and take love. So while i'm into this, i ask you to make plans for us. Not macro plans, for life together, but micro plans, for our little honeymoon. As promised, i'm sending you my schedule. Flight depart from Rio 27dec04 American Airlines flight 904 GIG/MIA - takes off at 22:55/ arrives MIA 04:20 28dec04 American Airlines flight 1724 MIA/TPA - takes off at 7:45/ arrives TPA 08:44 from Tampa to Orlando by car rented from Alamo in Tampa Intl Airport Hotel in Orlando: Quality Inn 9000 International Drive phone 407 996-8585 voucher # GT0487/04 - to Dina Zisel - 1 double room/ 2 adultcheck in: dec 28th/ check out: jan 04th check for driving directions: http://www.qualityinn- orlando.com/qpdrive.html See you online tomorrow, mon amour. Je t'aime/ D

Thursday Dec 16

Dec 16 Dina wave

Dear Edward, You complained about me making plans. Thing is, i'm not, i'm just riding this giant wave and learning to surrender. The wave started discreetly at some point on the high sea of possibilities where we met, and has been growing since. There's nothing i can do but ride it. If i stop now i will drown. I can't be behind or ahead its peak, only at the top, riding, flowing, with no board to help. And the wave sweeps everything in my life, family, work, self, heart, body and mind. I don't know if you can feel it, but you are surfing this wave with me. Maybe you don't have so many issues in your life right now to be carried away, like i do. So maybe for me it's a little bit harder. I have to detach, to surrender, two difficult tasks for someone like me, for someone like i used to be before i met you. I'm changed now. So please support me, my love. For this tsunami is the energy of our love and it wouldn't be here if not for you. And i can't stop now, only go forward, praying to arrive at the beach soon, for the journey it's thrilling, but tiring. Talk to you later. Good morning, surfer companion. Love/ D

Dec 16 Dina tracking

EE018385160BR Date/Time Local Status 14/12/2004 11:45 São Paulo Received in the Office of Exchange 14/12/2004 12:44 São Paulo Dispatched to: AMERICA (UNITED STATES OF) 16/12/2004 13:34 AMERICA (UNITED STATES OF) Received in the country 16/12/2004 13:35 AMERICA (UNITED STATES OF) Retained by customs

Dec 16 Edward re: wave what a great metaphor. . .it is one i have often used. . .been part of. . .no board riding a wave of enormous height. . .thousand foot drop off. . .cosmic ride. . .

Edward: surfs up Edward: metaphor of wave appropriate Dina: hei Dina: i'm on top now, but almost drowned this morning (laugh) Edward: explain Dina: you dont wanna know Dina: anyway, i promised myself not to overwhelm you Dina: and as everything is calmer now, forget it Edward: how are you Dina: i'm fine now Dina: i was forced to say some old truths this morning and now i'm feeling quite well Dina: family issues Edward: to your brother Dina: no, sis in law and aunt Dina: they called, not me Edward: they Dina: so situation precipitated Dina: and i sadi things scheduled to be said only on january Dina: said Edward: merde Dina: but everything is set now Dina: how are you Dina: pas merde Dina: relief Edward: worried perplexed joyed Dina: with what Edward: how did they accept these words Dina: they have no choice, neither do i Dina: funny thing is, mom started to say absolute truths Dina: to describe things she has done to me exactly like she really did, not masked by manipulation, very funny Dina: so i was forced to say some thruths about her relationship to me Dina: for everybody in the family has the wrong image, you know Edward: what that dina has no life Dina: now little dina is showing up Dina: nobody here knows me, you know Dina: or what i've been through for the last 52 years Dina: now surprise box is opening Dina: and i feel good Edward: and dina emerges from the maze of the minotaur and the minotaur is dina Dina: dont worry Edward: i worry that you are planing months and i am planing a week Edward: i would not imagine that something like this would happen someday, but it did... Dina: what? Edward: it is not to say i do not love you eternally Dina: you are still afraid Edward: no a realist Edward: it is not to say that i will not want you to stay forever Dina: so what can i do edward, do you want to call it off Edward: for that is the promise of this Dina: i'm a realist too Dina: i didnt plan no more than a week vacation, maybe with a lover Edward: we agreed to meet Dina: but things precipitated, anyway you are not included Dina: for what is happening is that thruth is coming up Dina: and i have to act accordingly Dina: but dont think that i dont consider the possibility that i will not like you or you me Edward: you deserve to live in truth Edward: good...wouldnt that be funny if you didnt like me

Dina: although, for me, it sounds more and more next to impossibility (for us not to get along) Dina: but anyway, if we happen not to like each other, i will have to take a stand anyway Dina: imagine, if i'm in pieces after a month, imagine some 10 years of this Edward: you need to take a stand always Dina: and if i'm not with you, i will have to change something, get out of this house Dina: so dont worry, i'm not depending on you in anyway Edward: it is important that you dont Dina: well, of course i ask for your support now and then, because you are my love Dina: and i cant pretend you dont exist Edward: a relationship based upon dependence is not love it is need Dina: do you really think i am dependent of anyone Edward: we need no one to exist Dina: do you think you are some escape and no more than this Edward: we are ourselves Edward: we are netted into the delusional needs of others Dina: oh, edward Edward: by guilt and manipulation Dina: i understand you perfectly Dina: doesnt mean i dont get sad when your fear comes up Dina: doesnt mean i dont love you either Dina: i have some doubt, but am not afraid by no measn Dina: means Dina: imagine Dina: if you touch me and i dont feel the wonderfuk things you make me feel, it will be sad Dina: i am ready for love, relationship, whatever Edward: but not to pay some price for a mate Dina: if i wanted this, i wouldnt be alone for so long Edward: never compromise the self Dina: maybe i would still be married to my first husband Edward: or we are lost to ourselves Dina: hei, edward, what did i say to frighten you like this, tell me Edward: yesterday you said you were thinking about staying a month Dina: i'm not responsible for the fact that these things are happening in my life while im dating you and getting to know you Dina: well, i think about things, than i go back and change Dina: im a little unstable, you know Edward: i think is normal Edward: so let us give it a day the first day Edward: then the second wake to each other Dina: what i was thinking yesterday was, if we get along well, and like each other, maybe a week is not much time to make acquaintnace Edward: then the third Edward: by then we should know what we are going to do Dina: i want to be able to stay a little longer, does not mean i WILL stay Dina: you wanted me to be transparent Dina: and i am Dina: i trusted you, so i tell you everything i feel when i feel it Edward: easy enough not to say these things Dina: would you prefer not to know what im going through Edward: let us be clear to each other Edward: i love hearing what you are going through Edward: it helps me see you in context Dina: then i would arrive in Fl like a princess, free, independent, without worries Edward: in play Edward: you are Dina: to have a nice weekend Edward: well, our relationship took another direction, i think Edward: i will meet you

Edward: a direction of strenght Edward: trust Edward: transparency Edward: so as you say im responding Edward: so the sun has come out Dina: where Edward: there are no shadows cast today Dina: you dont sound very sunny, though Edward: when you act from strength dina i am pleased Edward: to differentiate action from reaction is important...and it is not so much that i feel sunny it is that the field is cleared of shadows Edward: where have you gone to Dina: moment Edward: moment Dina: sorry, edward, if you wanna know, psy on phone Dina: you see, i feel like crying Dina: for i didnt want this whole sad siotuation to interfere with us Dina: whatever you say, whatever your fears, i still believe to have found the man in my life you know Dina: and i dont want to risk or spoil this Edward: sorry to overwhelm you, but then i couldnt help it Dina: you know me enough by now, so i think you dont need to worry Dina: about me deceiving you for some hidden goal Dina: or betraying you Edward: no none of that Dina: when you look into my eyes, you will see how unable i am to lie Dina: try taking me to someplace i dont like, or to eat something i hate to see what happens Dina: or introduce me to someone i dont like Dina: if i dont like you or get diappointed you will see it in my eyes instantly Dina: for i dont know how to hide Edward: i too have very fixed opinions that i have no intention of compromising Edward: one of them is sanity Edward: what is sane and what is insane Edward: what is real and what is fantasy Dina: well, edward, nothing is perfect no, so this is the imperfection in our lives Dina: you met me in a time like this Dina: if you had met me 2 months ago instead of 1 it would be different Dina: or a month from now Dina: but then this is part of us, our story Dina: what can i do Edward: this cyber place is new to me and though i am excellent with language and discerning its meaning what is being said what is meant and of communicating it ...so i listen to you carefully Edward: come for a day and see what happens Dina: i hope what you promise in sex will be fulfilled, ahn Edward: it is as was said the first day in the rest of our lives Dina: you are not some lazy that will want to make love once in a month Dina: without moving much Edward: is that your experience Dina: sometimes, yes Edward: i am gymnastic in bed Dina: not from my part though Dina: what i write to you is the complete truth Edward: strong avid hungry Dina: if i ask you to touch this and this Dina: is because i like that, i want that Dina: not because i read about this in some magazine Dina: when i tell you i had an orgasm, means i really had an orgasm Dina: not imagined it Edward: there is no part of a beautiful woman that i have not loved... Dina: im not fantasysing, you know

Edward: so if i am able to evoke this on wire what will happen in reality Edward: your words take me on ride, real one Dina: well, i hope even more, but if its the same i will be thrilled enough,thank you Dina: so sometimes i try to figure out what you are really feeling (sexually i mean) Edward: i am really better in person Dina: due to your physicall situation, quite different than mine Dina: from mine, i mean Dina: cause evr Dina: everything i tell you is true Edward: i am making love to you i am aroused and am describing making love to you caressing you in all its detail as i see you Dina: i dont use to fantasyze, before you i never did that Dina: nor wrote about sex and lovemaking, all new Dina: you know, if i was really lonely and needy, i would masturbate only with the phisycal touch, no fantasy to help away Dina: so i never experienced a fantasy before, believe me Edward: i dont know how did this happen to us Dina: i know that you started, not me, you were first to cybertouch me Dina: and i responded Dina: and i enjoyed, though shy at first Dina: i opened up to you Edward: yes i said i thought you were interesting Dina: i learned with you Edward: you were already open Dina: no, dear, you started to make sex with me suddenly Dina: and when i asked you why did you do this, you said you thought it was there for you Dina: and then, you know, i fell in love with you Dina: with your mind Dina: your inteligence Dina: your hair and tan Dina: wit Edward: it so happened that that is a quality that i find most delightful that i most respect Dina: culture Dina: cock Edward: i too am in love with your mind your wit your innocence with your love Edward: i made sex with you suddenly? Edward: you will see, after the first day, then when im at the beach, not in the middle of an seaquake, im quite easygoing Dina: yes, you did Dina: but i didnt refuse, so... Edward: what made it sudden Dina: you tell me Dina: quite soon Edward: it was not sudden to me but the natural occurence of the energy Dina: i will show you later, i can see you dont remember Edward: i was not sensoring Edward: planning Dina: yes, you said that Dina: you were riding the wave before me Dina: and took me with you Dina: as i accepted your invitation Edward: yes i am always surfing Dina: so tell me, with how many? Edward: (laugh) Edward: emotionally surfing Edward: it is a way of moving through space Edward: not intellectually Edward: but with heart

Edward: there are few waves to catch Dina: so go on, its not the right time to stop Edward: i have lived in hawaii and have seen the greatest of waves Edward: when you get the wave you have to surf to the beach Dina: yes, i saw on film, giant Edward: i have stood on the top of the world and caught its wave Dina: you see, surfers dont give up in the middle Edward: sometimes you are crushed on the coral when the wave collapses Dina: well, i hope we wont Edward: and it is all you can do to crawl out and tend to your cuts Edward: some times you die Dina: whats the use now to speculate about this Edward: killed by the wave Dina: if i am going anyway Dina: even if you dont want to meet me Edward: yes that is the point you are coming anyway Dina: i have a plan b Edward: you have caught the wave Dina: rest, take walks Dina: swim Dina: drive around Edward: to quote you "you had to or you would have regreted it the rest of your life" Dina: i will go no matter what, so you are 100% free Dina: i even have a friend in fort lauderdale who was planning to meet me on dec 30, ie, before i met you Dina: he is a photographer specialized on trails Edward: many trails in florida Dina: so if we dont get pass the first day, dont worry Edward: oh good so if i dont work out there are contingency plans Dina: i wont be abandoned by myself in a gloomy hotel room Edward: it is miserable out cold cloudy light relentless cold rain Edward: a perfect day for this Dina: i wanted to send you his email, but then its in portuguese, wont help Edward: abandonment in gloomy hotel rooms Dina: for what Dina: oh, well Dina: edward, did you notice im stronger Dina: first time you did this to me i had to stop Dina: blame bad vibes Dina: spin out of center Dina: now i faced you in a quite stronger manner Edward: "knock your self out" Dina: dont get you Edward: be as strong as you can Edward: what dont you get? Dina: well, from your talk i can see you didnt get your box yet Dina: the sense in "knock your self out" Dina: or else you wouldnt be losing your precious energy Edward: knock your self out is a colloquial expression that is generally construed to me be as strong as you can engage to the nth degree Edward: no i didnt get my box Dina: you see Edward: what is this precious energy that i am losing Dina: bla bla bla around fear Edward: (sorry) Edward: i think it is good that you have a plan b...another Dina: ok, are you calmer now Edward: in case i dont work out Edward: i am always calm Dina: dont you come with guarantee Edward: centered

Dina: do you need to change your battery Edward: it is you i am following Dina: bah, forget about that one and concentrate on this one here Edward: it is you that is in the midst of titanic struggle Edward: emerging Edward: re synthesizing her self and her environment Dina: yeah, but then in reality you are not involved cause you are not 100% with me yet, lucky you Edward: my responsibility to you is that i do no harm Edward: that i support you Dina: if you were a cyber friend, no more, you would support me, wouldnt you Dina: and you would invite me for new years vacation and allow me to rest a bit Dina: just out of friendship Edward: the question is confusing but i will always support you Edward: oh yes dina Edward: i would invite you for new years and allow you to rest Edward: in my arms if you wish Edward: take the poison from you Dina: so lets start with this Dina: not out of friendship out of love Dina: i bought new clothes today Edward: i thought you had transcended all that Dina: buttons and all Dina: white shirt Dina: enough for a month or seven days Edward: what, clothes? Dina: 2 shirts, guess Edward: i had visions of you arriving with trunk loads of clothes Dina: 1 light yellow Dina: oh, dear you are soooo mistaken, i only have 2 dresses, e trousers, 3 or 4 t shirts Dina: a very small bag Dina: you dont know all of me yet Edward: i was thinking of you naked in our room with your high heel shoes on last night...cute image Dina: but i told you that i opted for voluntary sinmplicity long ago Edward: no i see that Dina: well, i have 1 pair of high heels, black Dina: 1 noght dress Edward: you mentioned it yesterday so that we could dance eye to eye Dina: i bought this dress to go to new york for my facet award prize but never did, Dina: anyway, i hope we will have somethiing nice to do for new years eve Dina: quick, simple, back to bed Dina: nevertheless, night dress and heels, only for you Edward: merci madam Dina: i have a problem, though Edward: pray tell Dina: i only have summer clothes Dina: and a good coat Dina: winter coat from europe Edward: orlando is usually warm Dina: so you told me it was cold... Dina: i will have to dress summer clothes with the coat over everything Edward: well see how the weather develops Edward: i do not care what you wear Dina: so i bought these 2 shirts, long sleevs, at least, a little bit better Dina: how is it today, weather Dina: you told me, but i didnt pay attention Edward: i just described it today to you Dina: do it again please Dina: play it again, sam Edward: cold bitter cold 40 degrees F...cold mist of rain falling light wind blowing in the face

Edward: making the nose cold Edward: you are funny you make me laugh Dina: todah lael, no Dina: at least that Edward: todah rabah no? Dina: can you translate fahrenheit to centigrade Edward: 30 is freezing Dina: hei, edward Edward: what Dina: i love you Edward: i am blessed that you do Edward: it is such a lovely love Edward: so intelligent and smart Dina: you will make me save 10 bucks every month Edward: so creative and artful Edward: so gentle and evocative Edward: soooooooooooooo erotic Dina: for as i was researching a way to accep credit cards from abroad in my shop i discovered a system 10 bucks cheaper Edward: where do you go Dina: wait till you touch me Dina: i didnt go anywhere, here with you Edward: eroticism is great fun Edward: with you... Edward: so when i touch you and trace my fingers around your nipples you will tear me assunder with your love Edward: beyond imagination Dina: six years in a box Dina: the tiger is ready to make love Dina: do you want to hear about my last sexual experience about 5 years ago Edward: of course Dina: well,there was this guy Dina: i was in love with him when i was 8 or 9 Dina: he was my cousin's friend Dina: i wrote some poetry for him in my pre-teenager diary Dina: and never saw him again Dina: life went on Dina: so i met him by chance on my nephew's barmitzva Dina: a charming, well dressed, nice, divorced guy Dina: living in sao paulo Dina: he invited me to his house Dina: so i went, to realize my childhood fantasy Dina: took my diary with me to show him Dina: when i got to his house, i think he didnt have intention to make love to me, but anyway, thats what i was there for Dina: well, i had a plan b Dina: a meeting with friends from a juvenile jewish movement i belonged to Dina: i always have a plan b just in case Dina: so when we went to bed, oh edward Dina: terrible Dina: his dick was soooo small Dina: i almost didnt feel anything... Dina: well, he made me come in the bath tub with his fingers, anyway Dina: are you there Edward: im jealous Edward: i wanted them to be my fingers Edward: are you there Edward: i think we have to type faster or otherwise we get routed around cyber space and there are enormous delays Edward: are you there dina Edward: dina Edward: dina

Dec 16 Edward set mad damn you are not in i have fifteen minutes it is raining. . .hard cold. . . the warmth of you the promise of you rests in my arms would that i could have spoken to you tonight kissed you whispered i love you in your ear took you in my harms held you close to me felt your warmth against me held you laid upon you Dina qui est toi que je t'aime who are you that i love you so would wake to you sleep to you marry you have children with you breath you cherish you Dina you have set me made set the muse of you loose set me writing you have opened me set me loose kiindled me \ set the fires of the sun set fission to fusion ignited me Dina what have you done to me drive in the rain in the cold to speak with you Dina damn but i love you uncontrolably in love with youw set mad

Dina: well, i had to leave for a minute, moment, will read what you wrote Dina: well, dear, jealous of the past, losing energy Dina: imagine a lamentable past like this Edward: no evoking with present energy longing Edward: though a story it is present energy Dina: edward, i hope im not risking tiny dick with you (laugh) Edward: it is as though he was doing it now Edward: i am merely commenting upon feelings Edward: mine... Dina: so why did you want to listen Edward: i am not jealous Dina: masochist Edward: i am interested in you Edward: in everything about you Edward: it is lovely you make me smile with your honesty Edward: i am not jealous Edward: cannot be Dina: so, mr, beast, describe yourself a bit for my amusement Edward: what you and i share i know you will never find again Edward: what aspect of myself Dina: nor will you, i hope Edward: no wraped in judaism never Dina: well, describe your finest treats Dina: what has judaism got to do with it Dina: edward? Dina: where did you go Dina: edward? Edward: it is something that i love about you among all the rest of you...i have been with gentiles most of my life...and there is something like warmth or family that is missing from them Edward: you bring that to me a sense of family Edward: my family Dina: good

Edward: want to listen more about plan b strategy Edward: finest trait is my intelligence consciousness awareness kindness and touch Edward: i am a father...a loving nurturing being that would do no harm Edward: i have a wonderful healing touch Dina: how much do you charge Dina: make me an appointment Edward: gentle it mirrors what i touch feel every aspect of Edward: it is kindness incarnate Edward: it is a rare thing Dina: oh, edward, you're so vain Dina: and so serious Edward: i would stroke my childrens face and hair till they would sleep Edward: hold them and feel their warmth Edward: give love through touch Edward: i have always described myself to you fairly with accuracy for example when i described my voice it was accurate plus or minus Dina: it was Edward: i am fairly good with words Dina: can i call you again sat to listen to it Edward: i was thinking about that last night Dina: about what Edward: ill get a card...but if i dont call you call me sat around the same time so ill be there...2 Edward: about talking to you Dina: and Edward: and how lovely that would be Dina: what Edward: and how i would love to hear your voice speak love to you Dina: in person, you mean Edward: whisper in your ear Dina: not ph Edward: speak to your smile Edward: well both i guess Dina: i thought we were talking about the phone Edward: we were Edward: i would rather lay you down and take your clothes off and lay my self on you Edward: pressing your breasts under me Edward: kissing your mouth Edward: laying my weight on you Dina: oh, edward, im here for you my love Dina: thanks gos cunt is calling you Edward: love me my dear Dina: god Edward: speak to me cunt Dina: i love you Dina: i want you Edward: i am risen Edward: i go wet for you instantly Edward: hard against my pants Edward: how quick he comes to you Dina: and im throbbing already, instantly Dina: how quick she comes to you Edward: let me enter you Dina: i let you Edward: slip into you Dina: do what you want Dina: touch me the way you want Edward: be one with you Dina: i surrender my self to you Dina: and give what you want Edward: there is only me to give dina

Edward: to respond to this love strong as life itself Edward: we are cuing each other Dina: i give you what you want Dina: cuing? Edward: sub consciously Dina: i want you Edward: cue - ing Edward: signaling Dina: i want you consciously Dina: sub consciously Dina: un consciously Edward: our bodies speaking to each other Dina: from mind Dina: body soul Dina: present, past eons ago Edward: yes we love each other on many levels Dina: essential Edward: how well we fit together Edward: dna level Edward: same heritage Edward: essential for the likes of us Edward: if it is not everything it is nothing Edward: if it is everything it is everything Dina: so com, my love Dina: let me enjoy from you Dina: so soon my love Edward: i am in you my love Dina: touch me with your fingertips Edward: so wet so warm so loving Edward: let me feel your passion Edward: soft i love you dina Edward: you bring joy to me Dina: i close my eyes as you type this Dina: with pleasure Edward: let me touch your breasts with the backs of the tips of my fingers Dina: uuhm Edward: till they rise hard against them Dina: how can you be so charming in words Edward: touch them between my thumb and finger Dina: the back of your tips, i mean Edward: squeeze them lightly Edward: and bend and put the tip of my tongue to them Dina: oh, edward Edward: wetting them Edward: bring your fingertips to my lips Edward: putting them past my lips to my mouth Edward: let me bite you gently Edward: let me trace my finger tips to your mouth Edward: suck you doucement Edward: brush against the cleft above your lip Edward: feel the tip of my tongue on the tip of your finger Edward: lightly touch your sweet skin Dina: uumm Edward: let me move along your lips enter your mouth with my finger tips and touch your teeth Edward: feel how sharp they are and move to your wet tongue Edward: have your lips form around my finger and suck them Edward: have your tongue caress them like they were my cock Edward: have you suck them as though you were sucking my cock Dina: i suck you Edward: wet now let me hold my left hand on your right cheek Edward: press my elbow and forearm against your breast

Edward: hold your cheek in my hand Edward: your face in my hand Edward: and with my mouth in yours spread your legs with mine and slip my cock into you Dina: im wet for you my love Edward: slowly down your canal into the hart wet center of dina Dina: throbbing Edward: feel dina clamp against me with all the muscles of her boddy Dina: oh edward, you give me such delight Edward: i suck you Edward: squeeze you Edward: my thick cock wet hard deep within you Dina: ummm, delightful Edward: your ass and buttocks rise against me Edward: arching your back off the bed you thrust your self against me Dina: serotonin, adrenalin, all hormones on the rise Edward: i move towards you Edward: lock my self to you Edward: groin to groin Edward: then slide yourself out along the length of my cock Edward: till the tip and there you hold me in you Edward: just the tip inside Dina: i feel your cock sliding so easily Edward: in and out Edward: come inside fully again Edward: then in again slowly following the known path Edward: home Dina: i long for you Edward: home to dina Dina: home to edward Edward: deep inside of you dina Dina: touch my core Edward: hard thick wet cock Edward: hot Dina: oh edward Dina: i love you edward Dina: fuck me edward Edward: deep with in you moving around within you Edward: fuck me dina Dina: oh god, edward Dina: fuck me Dina: rise and fuck me Edward: fuck me dina Dina: stab me with your cock Edward: fuck me Edward: come dina come Edward: quicker Edward: come dina Dina: stronger Edward: let me fuck you over and over again Dina: no Dina: not yet Edward: harder and harder deeper and deeper Dina: give me more Edward: stronger and stronger Edward: kiss me dina fuck me Dina: nonstop swaying Edward: in and out Dina: moaning Edward: harder and harder Edward: move dina move Dina: make me scream, my love

Dina: touch my clit Edward: harder and harder in and out in and out in and out Dina: harder Edward: harder Edward: let my hands slip between youir legs Dina: kiss me Dina: dont stop please Edward: grab your clit hard slip my fingers into your cunt all of them my cock fingers cunt Edward: mouth on yours tongue in tongue Dina: ai, edward, i love when you do this Edward: cock in cunt Edward: dina fuck me fuck me Dina: fuck me edward Edward: my fingers cock wet with in you Dina: make me come, edward Edward: my fingers on your clit holding you Edward: come dina come Edward: oh dina fuck me ffuck me Dina: ai, i cant stand it Edward: let me fuck you dina Dina: fuck me edward Edward: let me come in you come dina Dina: oh edward Edward: let me come in you Dina: lets come together my love Dina: come, edward Edward: oh i love you dina oh dina Dina: i love you edward Edward: fuck me dina come Edward: thats it, im coming Edward: deep with in you fuck me Dina: oh god Edward: come dina come fuck me Dina: wave upon wave throbbing Edward: i am coming in you coming shoot ing semen into you Edward: hot thick flows of semen Dina: squeezing your cock Edward: coursing through you Dina: taking your juice Edward: hot cock cunt filling you Edward: i can feel it Dina: mouth on mouth cock on cunt Edward: semen on womb Dina: your semen running into me Edward: oh dina hold me Dina: hold me edward, kiss me gently Edward: wrap your legs around me hold me with your arms Edward: let me be quiet inside you Dina: squeeze me hold me Dina: mouth on mouth soft kiss Edward: let me share soul with you Dina: listen to my soul Dina: to my essence Edward: gentle touch quiet breath blow across your face Edward: lips lightly touching you Dina: oh, edward, it so good to make love to you Edward: breath to breath Edward: quiet Dina: gentle quiet Dina: you are a master of lovemaking Edward: lay in my arms and let me lay with you

Dina: i can feel you still inside me Edward: throbbing gently Edward: quietly Edward: the wind blowing cool across our naked bodies Edward: still linked cunt and cock Dina: are you cold my love Edward: your muscles locked against me in embrace Edward: not against you my dear Edward: the warmth of your body fills me Dina: i wish you could make me sleep Edward: the softness of you succour Dina: for a while Edward: yes let me hold you in my arms and sleep Dina: but dont want to go apart from you Dina: not even to dream of you Edward: lay your face against my chest and sleep dina Dina: so i stay awake enjoying you Dina: playing with the hair in your chest Edward: my arms around you all the curves and muscles and bones of you Edward: playing with the hair on your head Edward: kissing your forehead Dina: oh, edward, i can listen to your voice in my ear Dina: i can listen perfectly Dina: say you love me Edward: je t'aime dina...i love you Dina: je t'aime, edward Edward: i love to love you Dina: moi aussi Edward: it pleases me Edward: what else can i say Dina: i sit here in a damn hot afternoon, look at this screen and sigh for you Edward: lets take a shower together Edward: let me wash you Edward: wash your breasts your belly Dina: i send my love energy to your heart through cyberspace Dina: yes, lets take a tepid shower Edward: yes cool off laughingly Dina: i stand still and let you wash me Dina put soap on my hand and wash your chest Edward: slide a soaked sponge over my skin Edward: your hand, better Dina: slippery move the sponge over your wet skin Dina: the sponge goes, the hand follows Edward: wash my hair Edward: my hand soapy comes over your perky breasts nipples hard erect Edward: massage my skalp thouroughly Edward: water falling over face dripping wet Edward: i suck the water as it cascades off your belly Dina: shhower like a light waterfall Edward: hummm Dina: my love Dina: i stroke your hair as you do this Edward: till your pubic hair where i suck drink suck your hairs Edward: filled with water Dina: ai, meu deus, edward Edward: bend and put my tongue in your slit in your cunt and drink from you Edward: water mixing with you Dina: you are too much, you know Edward: bend and suck the water dripping down your thights cascading i suck the water Edward: kneel in front of you hold your ass in my hands and press you to my mouth Dina: i love your ways so much

Dina: oh edward Edward: bury myself drowning in you Dina: dont drown, my love Dina: stand, kiss me Edward: suck your thighs your knee bend and suck your shins and ankle and feet Edward: suck your toes and rise Edward: kiss you wet Edward: water drowning us in cool tepid water Edward: rise me to your waist Edward: drifting off our bodies Dina: fuck me under the shower Dina: as i close my legs around you Edward: hold you suck the water off your neck your shoulder Edward: slipped into you wet my cock deep within you Edward: against the wall Dina: yes, edward Edward: wet water dripping in sheets Edward: against the wall i press against you in you Edward: lean hard against you my cock deep in you your breasts flat against my wet hairy chest Dina: throbbing once more Edward: water cascading droblets caught in hair Edward: moving in and out of you Edward: water showering us rivers moving between us Dina: hold my buttocks Edward: waterfalls falling off the ends of your breasts Edward: cunt and cock sending sheets of water down our legs Edward: hold me locked to you Edward: let me hold your buttocks slippery wet Dina: fuck me edward Edward: i spread your cheeks hold you close to me locked to me my fingers finding your ass Edward: moving you in and out of me Edward: your buttocks in each hand spread moving you in and out of me Dina: edward, i'm dripping Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Edward: dripping wet throb ing fucking you Edward: let me lift you hard on me moving you in and out Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Edward: let me put my fingers in you Dina: wow Edward: hold you dripping wet against me Edward: legs against legs tits against breast Dina: fuck me edward Edward: dripping hair and mouth and face Dina: press your cock inside me Edward: fuck me dina Edward: my cock in you and out Edward: in down its length Dina: oh, edward Dina: i will come Edward: deep into you slam against me dina Edward: grab me with your cunt squeeze the seemen out of me Edward: come dina come Edward: my cunt sucks you Edward: let me come in you dina again Dina: come deeper Edward: come dina fuck me Dina: come in me edward Edward: come dina i love you Dina: i love you edward Edward: come dina deep within you i come

Dina: ahhhnnn Edward: send seed deep within you Edward: covering you fillling you with me Dina: let seed flourih Dina: flourish Edward: we wet driping coming wet Dina: makes us one Edward: fuck me dina be in love with me Dina: i am Edward: hold me kiss me Dina: ahhh, close the water Dina: i'm so clean Dina: inside Edward: i love making love in the shower Dina: in heart and mind Edward: yes i have cleaned you well Dina: hei, edward Dina: i love making love to you Dina: wherever Dina: whenever Edward: we seem compatible Edward: i never tire of you Dina: i cant guess how is it possible that you do everything the way i like it Dina: back of hands included Dina: from the simplest gesture Dina: to the strongest of sensations Dina: how can you know Dina: the way i am perfectly Edward: i can feel you Edward: sense you respond to you Dina: but then you already are like this Dina: or you wouldnt act like this Dina: you couldnt Edward: it is you dina that makes me want to act in this manner Edward: it is a reflection of you Dina: you never disappoint me, you know Edward: we are dancing i am following Dina: you never describe a gesture that i dislkike Dina: dislike Edward: i am sensitive in love dina Edward: and i love you Dina: never a touch that i would estrange Dina: everything you do is sooo sharp to the point Dina: you couldnt do better, impossible Edward: every time im with you all is new Edward: always surprising Edward: creative Edward: delightful Dina: you make me feel so grateful for life Dina: and emotion Edward: good to love an artist a poet...mime Dina: you bet Edward: you please me so much dina Edward: have great feeling for you Edward: you respond to me with perfection Dina: you respond to me with perfection Edward: dina? Dina: yes, my love Edward: did you just say that Dina: repeating what you just said Dina: now, not this time, i echoed you Edward: dina?

Dina: yes Edward: i love when you say that Dina: quoi Edward: that you answer me Edward: yes edward Edward: i dont know Dina: what Edward: if i had to analyze it i would have to say that i have Dina: shoot Edward: been alone so long that to hear my voice spoken Edward: with love Edward: understanding Edward: that it speaks to me Edward: is pleasing Edward: i have been content with silence Dina: and now Edward: but your voice light silence Dina: what do you feel content with Edward: to be recognized to be perceived Edward: wholely completely Dina: edward, you are so special Dina: how could you be alone for so long Dina: how could your women let you go Dina: i dont get that Edward: who could perceive me as you Dina: i would fight for you like a tiger Edward: they would have to be you Edward: have your intelligence consciousness experience courage Dina: but its so obvious, i dont get it Dina: how could someone make love to you even if just once and then leave Edward: none of them did...they had aspects of you but not the depth like a piano some had keys some chords some half the board but you have the whole keyboard Edward: it was i that stopped having love with them Edward: it is i that tired of the shallow ness of the relationship Dina: i feel that as long as im with you Edward: except katherine and she was mad...an addict... Dina: creativity will flow endlessly Edward: driven Dina: direct from source Dina: poetry always dripping like cunt Edward: i feel this Edward: once one poem is written the next will come for sure Edward: i wrote with katherine always flowing but not like you Edward: there is a joy to this Dina: did she write as well Edward: a reality Edward: no she could write but she was no poet Edward: she was an intellect Edward: taught at university Edward: anthropology Dina: well Dina: then Edward: well then there is you Dina: my love for you gives me so much fun Dina: poetry writing Dina: business rising Dina: creativity flowing Dina: courage empowering Edward: i am energized by you equally Dina: you know, i dont write poetry like this, for free Dina: i need the emotion behind it Dina: real one

Dina: or else i cant drink from source Edward: i know what you mean Dina: so i dont write a line Dina: when im not in love Edward: we ignite each other Dina: i have a book of poems Dina: but i havent written for more than 5 years Dina: so i kind of gave up and concentrated on prose Dina: wrote those advice articles Dina: taught people how to make a move Dina: change habits Dina: not the least romantic Edward: i like your writing its style its clarity Edward: it was one of the things that impressed me Edward: its a pity you cant read my book Edward: its very strong Edward: there was a lovely sentamentality to your story of the pole Dina: despite the esoteric cover it has nothing to do with esoterism Edward: it reminded me of some of the things that i had written Dina: did you ever publish Edward: no but i preformed my work Dina: preformed? Edward: performed Dina: ah Dina: what do you mean Edward: i was a story teller Dina: to whom did you tell Edward: in coffee houses in 68 in san francisco Dina: ah, i see, peformed Dina: you know i made some very funny performances Edward: i would play some classical guitar and tell zen stories Edward: things that i had written Dina: i wish i could have seen this Dina: i would enjoy so much Edward: yes if you think carol is good you should hear me Dina: you dont have a guitar now Dina: schwarz voice clan Edward: no Dina: do you like to drum Edward: katherine gave me a small banjo lute kind of thing but i dont play it Dina: no, you need a guitar Edward: katherine liked to drum Dina: i have a drum Dina: havent drum for a long time Edward: you have a body Edward: i would love to drum your body Dina: i was thinking about taking my drum with me but then gave up Edward: play you like i play guitar Edward: conscious touch Edward: delicate touch controlling nuance of sound Dina: edward, you are music in my life you know Dina: you make me sing Dina: my heart, my vocal cords, my body Dina: you make me write Dina: you make me vibrate Dina: fill my life with promise Dina: do you write when you are not with me Edward: no Dina: well, but then we write enough, no Dina: 3/ 4 hs per day Dina: more than many active writers Edward: yes tis true

Edward: practicing erotica Edward: detail Dina: do you like to write in couple Edward: its very new for me Edward: couple? Edward: i always envisioned writing as a solitaire activity Dina: yes, we write together Edward: yes i love writing with you Dina: i never did this Dina: never imagined this Edward: but it seems to me merely description of the event between us Dina: im not sure about this Edward: what is valuable in writing is transmitting life changing experiences Dina: its very valuable Edward: it is very high art to be able to describe in all of its sights smells textures...like haiku Edward: haiku prose has no artifice...it is the thing without shadow Dina: if you have the patience Dina: to reread what we wrote, sometime later Dina: you will see what i mean Dina: well, haiku is much less prolix than us Dina: and yet we are to the point Dina: enough for our needs Edward: it is very beautiful Edward: i meant that it is not baroque filled with artifice and birthday cake Dina: you linguistic explanation for cunt and cock is a classical Edward: yes, like what i said, sharp to the point, enough to translate reality Edward: not a syllable more Edward: or less Edward: true a razor eye Dina: yes Edward: i like spending time with you Dina: me too Edward: where did you go Dina: bathroom, couldnt wait a minute longer! Dina: i drink lots of water, so... Dina: washing the body constantly Edward: lady macbeth Dina: why Edward: let me say good bye and drop by the post office and see if your package has arrived Dina: ok, my love, i hope it will, if not, tomorrow Dina: i couldnt track inside usa Dina: love you edward Edward: loved to love you this afternoon

Dec 16 Dina re: set mad

“Im ein ani li mi li? U’chesheani leatsmi ma ani? Ve im lo achshav, matai?’ Talmud; Pirkei Avot 1:2 mad tell me about madness je suis folle avec toi heavy, caged sans toi let me flow you fly me to heights then pull me back vertigo don't make me cry n'arrête pas cet rêve d'amour don't stop the soulmates feast come live with me float with me free with me essential don't cool me down surrender to me float flow fou mad one with me lost, caged, adrift sans moi don't stop it now don't fear us now just let us be...

Friday Dec 17

Dec 17 Dina samba

A tristeza é senhora, desde que o samba é samba é assim A lágrima clara sobre a pele escura, a noite e a chuva que cai lá fora Solidão apavora, tudo demorando em ser tão ruim Mas alguma coisa acontece, no quando agora em mim Cantando eu mando a tristeza embora O samba ainda vai nascer, o samba ainda não chegou O samba não vai morrer, veja o dia ainda não raiou O samba é o pai do prazer, o samba é o filho da dor O grande poder transformador Sadness rules, since samba is samba the clear teardrop on the dark skin, the night, the rain outside solitude is frightening, it takes so long being so bad but something happens inside me singing i send sadness away the samba will be born, the samba did not arrive yet the samba will not die, see, the day has not risen the samba is the child of pain, the samba is the father of pleasure, the big transforming power

Eros & Psiche - João Câmara oil on canvas 1990

Edward: my dear dina good morning Edward: i received your e messenges though i have not heard the samba tape yet Dina: why Edward: i hope you are well Dina: yes Dina: you are there Dina: you? Edward: im fine thank you Edward: YES Dina: package? Edward: i have not been to the PO yet its in the opposite direction Dina: im worried with this customs thing Dina: do you think they will violate Edward: i dont know Dina: hope not Dina: still raining? Edward: things from south america obtain great scrutiny Edward: no it has stopped during the night Dina: wow, not terrorists her, no Dina: here Edward: more like an incessant drizzle Edward: warmer today but the weekend sunday monday is going to be cold again Edward: you sounded quite upset last night Edward: i think they are more interested Dina: you mean in my e mail Edward: yes Dina: passion speaking Edward: upset has too many meanings Edward: so how do you feel today Edward: once i start opening my self to you if i do not sensor everything comes out Dina: same me Edward: your e mail sort of mirrors similar states Dina: im planning for a nice afternoon Edward: sounds lovely Dina: thats why i sang to you after all Dina: did you see the painting Dina: in samba, i mean Edward: im limited here to another 40 minutes Dina: so what will happen afterwards Edward: then i will go to another computer and hear your music Dina: will you go somewhere else Edward: answered Edward: i saw the painting (Eros & Psiche - João Câmara)

Dina: did you like it, i like this painter a lot today i've got my last session of lifting "trucks" Edward: explain Edward: what are you planning Dina: the last 3 weeks i was in for heavy weight lifting Dina: now i plan to find a way to take some rest Dina: last week Dina: i need to rest for vacation you know Dina: its been a month i cant sleep for more than 5 or 6 hours a night Dina: i look tired Edward: so i sounded upset... Dina: werent you Dina: needy Edward: what do you mean by upset Dina: needy, sad Edward: interesting word Dina: cold Dina: which one Edward: hungry for you impatient for you feeling that there is nothing i can do about it Edward: sad Dina: yeahm right Edward: maybe as lovers are for one another Dina: i decided to close my shop until jan 10 Dina: too complicated to leave it open Edward: you do a lot of deciding Dina: well, i have to, dont i Edward: what time are you leaving for the gym Dina: i cant leave for a week and let customers keep ordering Dina: if i cant deliver Edward: yes i am merely describing Dina: leaving when, regularly? Dina: about 7 Dina: but lately, 6:30, since i'm up at 4:30 the latest Dina: dark night Edward: no i thought you said this after noon you were going to do trucks Dina: no, i said i did, this morning Dina: nothing to do this friday afternoon Dina: but talking to you Edward: when you said you were planing for a nice afternoon Edward: i do so love talking to you Edward: needy huh shit... Dina: happens Dina: shit happens, i mean, or shift Edward: not to me it doesnt Dina: ok mr perfect twas a joke Edward: though the axiom nothing ever goes right in business seems a verite Dina: well, i have no energy left for work you know Edward: thou jokest trop Dina: no desire Dina: so i gave up for a while, it wont kill me or leed me to bankruptcy Edward: so you sit in rio in summer typing Dina: plus, i have to do many changes, so better take a break Dina: even the computer seems to need one Dina: yeah, air conditioning on, though Dina: i did not tell you yet that i hate heat Dina: and am not fond of rio summer either Edward: thanks for sharing Dina: why Edward: now and again in summer i like to but my head in the freezer and smell the cold air and wake up Dina: are summers hot chez toi

Edward: rio has for gringos a kind of romance to it Edward: the romance does not usually include the favello Dina: yeah, its a beutiful city, but this thing with violence pisses one off Dina: i live in the nicest section of town Dina: dont have a car and walk everywhere Edward: of course you do Dina: but seldom go out at night Dina: or leave the neighborhood Dina: you know, 20 years ago, in my bohemian years, i had a convertible Dina: and was out every night by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning Edward: that was Plan A what i typed last night...sort of a poem to Plan A Dina: guess, today this is impossible Edward: what, are you planning for rain Edward: or love? Edward: it was the Plan A you spoke of Dina: me? Dina: dont get you Edward: seems i spoke a toi d'amour nos amour Dina: uhhm Dina: well, for me our love is a sure thing Edward: but sometimes you do hesitate Edward: when you were speaking of your photo friend in fl Dina: but you know, tu as raison Edward: as Plan B Dina: oh, well Dina: i dont expect to meet him anyway and told him so Edward: i was saying, you are right to doubt sometimes Dina: i dont tell you cause i dont want to give energy to this thought Dina: but i know the possibility is there Dina: though remote Dina: i guarantee myself Dina: everything i told you/showed you is the absolute expression of truth Dina: so what about you Edward: yes me too Edward: truth that is Dina: im sure about your mind, soul heart, though Dina: no doubts here Dina: only maybe body Edward: generally nothing is ever the ideal Edward: and what we say, express, is what we say Edward: but i have no doubt about your mind soul heart Dina: who can fake this anyway Dina: if you are a poet, you are a poet, period Dina: and cultured, well bred, etc, etc Edward: tu est come tu est Edward: line from Proust Dina: and im in love with you, deeply in love Dina: with this you i think i know quite well Edward: ditto Edward: you most assuredly know me dina Edward: i will not disappoint Dina: so if we get too hot we can always open the feezer to cool down, no Dina: freezer Edward: must wear a jacket Edward: winter in the freezer can cause a chill Dina: well, you know, i will have a problem with that, but you can heat me Edward: we can kiss in the freezer Edward: kiss in winter Edward: be in snow Dina: big contrats, eh, paradox Dina: contrast Edward: state of mind

Dina: does it snow in florida, i didnt know about that (laugh) Dina: summer state Edward: i was sorry you were not home last night Edward: no it does not Edward: snowed once i hear in 86 in jacksonville Edward: this is a land of hurricanes Dina: i was, but then i was sad, about this weird energy we raised, so i decided to switch the computer off Edward: so what i wrote was a synthesis of all that energy Dina: and it passed only half an hour since we hang up Edward: i dont think this stuff it just comes through me Dina: and you know, a cried quite a bit alone in my room Edward: of course not Edward: oh dina let me kiss away your tears Dina: im afraid im running out of energy Dina: thats why i decided to call off things one by one this last week Dina: i put mom on sedatives Edward: good Dina: stoped emailing marketing messages all day Dina: no one reads them anyway at this time of the year Dina: closed my shop's control panel Dina: and am planning to spend mornings reading all late issues from scientific american i didnt have time to for the last few weeks, in a word, RELAX Dina: no, wrong magazine, new scientist Edward: i love that you read scientific america Dina: an english magazine, not american Dina: i read new scientist regularly, am a subscriber Edward: interesting Edward: a woman that reads science Dina: i love science, you know Dina: why, is it unusual Edward: renaissance woman Dina: the last issue has an article on quick dating Dina: i wondered if you would be interested, but the article is feeble Edward: generally to find a beautiful woman literate linguistic poetic fit and penchant for both the sciences and the arts is a rarity Dina: lots of bla bla bla and not much of the real thing about dating Edward: i am not interested in dating Dina: well, you were a month ago, no Dina: you know something very funny happened this morning Edward: i was interested in meeting you Edward: i found it fascinating reading the writings of all these people Dina: a month ago i had an abstinence crisis Dina: so i decided i had to do something to find someone Dina: i didnt pay much attention to jdate, though they were obsessively sending me email matches Dina: so i went to this very trendy matrimonial agency Dina: that charges quite a bit Dina: and had an interview Dina: it was a tuesday Dina: 6 days later i met you and never gave them feedback Dina: so today they called me to ask whats up Dina: and i told her Dina: she was "wow", surprised. wished me luck Edward: knocked down by chance Edward: yes chance favours the prepared mind Edward: but i would read for hours these resumes Edward: kind of a sociology study Dina: did you find something interesting Edward: hundreds of women expressing themselves Dina: cause i didnt spend more than an hour there Dina: maybe men are less interesting as a rule (laugh)

Edward: it was very interesting to have so many women that one could read learn Dina: did you try any of them Edward: i would study grammar syntax...perspective...the word nice appeared a lot Edward: it was more that they regarded themselves as affectionate little pets rather then woman Edward: no Dina: you have lots of time to spare Edward: it was a curiosity Dina: or were you seriously looking for something Edward: i was curious as to the kind of women if any that would respond to me Dina: well, im not a pet person (laugh) Dina: love is precious Edward: yes Dina: though a cat suits a witch well Edward: there are so few women of intelligence Dina: bah, chauvinist Edward: not just smart but brilliant Dina: well, there are few brilliant human beings Dina: most men go for sports and quick sex Dina: and beer Edward: chauvinism means to have a particular position came from a French officer Chauvin...has nothing to do with male dominance...one could be a female chauvinist Dina: ok, apologize Edward: the women in my life have been extraordinary... Dina: we use this term in this situation here Edward: you are the most extraordinary Dina: hei, edward Dina: less serious Edward: what Dina: sometimes you go serious, too serious Dina: when you should laugh Dina: i will tickle you Edward: cue me Dina: now Dina: use your lips Edward: ok let me lick the sole of your feet Dina: laugh Dina: or better well, how much time do we have Edward: maybe ten minutes Dina: is it enough, you think? Edward: no my dear Edward: though let me expose your breasts and put my face in them Dina: so lets postpone this, go on chatting Edward: yes let us chat Edward: oh, merde, im horny Dina: so you will be waiting for me Edward: of course Dina: wherever Dina: whenever Edward: i can feel you getting wet Edward: he is getting, got hard Dina: how can i do this everyday, tell me Edward: he heard you call his name Dina: been a while Dina: how could i live without you for so long Edward: oh youre needy Edward: need to make love Dina: no, needy of yyou Edward: yes well said Edward: je comprend Dina: i didnt say live without sex, but live without you, whole package Edward: love is rare dina

Dina: yes Edward: what we are able to do is rare Dina: i was in love many times Edward: like russian ballet few can perform it Dina: but now i figure out i never had LOVE Dina: not like this Dina: i LOVE you edward Edward: it is a place for a very complicated being to exist Dina: get me Dina: what being Edward: yes LOVE you dina Dina: oh edward Edward: you are the Being Edward: Psyche herself Edward: all the feminine archetypes Dina: no matter what the subject is i start to feel this powerful waves of loving energy raising Dina: when we get together Dina: never fails Dina: i feel you in my hara Edward: endorphin rush Edward: you affect me deeply Dina: i wouldnt say endorphin Edward: i would like to be in your hara Dina: i get lots of endorphin running Dina: you are already Dina: when i run, i mean Dina: now this is endorphin Dina: with you is quite different Dina: spiritual made concrete Edward: love is a panoply of hormones' Dina: all, sound like brain theories, no Dina: always something missing Edward: in you and i it is the whole pallet Dina: theres not a unified theory for love, or consciousness Edward: yes you were missing Edward: this love between us is rare Dina: from you, you mean Edward: it would be hard for either of us to find someone that could perceive the facets of our being let alone love them Dina: oh edward, i want to hold you near Edward: its so good to be with you and know that understanding is so easy for you as for me Dina: you know, maybe not so emotionally Dina: but life in general is quite easy for me Edward: without effort dina you flow through me Dina: all of you Dina: i understand and learn everything very quickly Edward: i recall the "brain" Dina: what brain Dina: me? square unable to hug? Edward: you described your self in conversation once with that term Dina: yes, thats what im saying Dina: well, lately more 'CUNT' than 'BRAIN' no Dina: laugh Edward: you have a wonderful cunt Dina: edward, can you fix things Dina: broken objects i mean Edward: yes Dina: cars and things Edward: anything? Edward: jewelry

Dina: this is very funny you know Dina: my brother and i we can fix anything Dina: and our father was like that too Edward: i dont do a lot of soldering of eletronic chips Dina: Avrum fixes all, my grandma used to say Dina: and my brother is better than me Dina: he fixes literally everything Dina: but it runs in the family Dina: funny you are like that to Dina: i will let you fix things in our home, for a change Edward: why did you ask Dina: i didnt tell you yet that my brother is a luxury mechanic Edward: mercedez Dina: i asked out of curiosity, for this is a trait we had not check Edward: bmw ferari Dina: well, no, more porsche Dina: bmw ferrari too Dina: he has a spectacular workshop Edward: please feel free to examine me... Dina: well you've been through quite a scrutiny already Dina: approved Edward: so have you Edward: xrayed without your knowledge Edward: examined with laser Dina: i tought i would say xray but then thought ressonance and said nothing Edward: so we passed Edward: it is easy to be with you Dina: likewise, my love Dina: its so freeing to say anything i want or feel, or think Dina: and i really do this, you know Dina: people say you shall never say everything in a relationship Edward: i feel very close to you Dina: but then, i dreamed differently Edward: a relationship is the saying of everything Edward: like to be completely open Edward: nothing to hide or conceal Edward: the relationship exists in the presence of everything Edward: if it is not that it is nothing Dina: ah, feel good, edward Dina: that i have found you and you understand me and let me be Dina: that is why i say some of the things i say Dina: like yesterday Edward: but we have moved through the gravel Edward: to the beach Dina: yes, but i told you Edward: you had your reason Dina: yes Edward: almost beach Dina: i love you edward Edward: love you Dina: sunny white sandy beech Dina: beach Edward: come play this your keyboard Dina: bitch? Edward: bleech? Edward: breech Edward: birch Edward: blanch Dina: ugh, now you got me dictionary Edward: blanche du bois Dina: street car named desire Edward: stella ...stella

Dina: well, not the kindness of stranfers, no Dina: strangers Dina: wow, isnt he beeeatiful at that scene Edward: beeeeautiful Dina: could never forget Dina: then turned into such a monser Dina: monster Dina: but still talented Edward: odd how the human being can evolve Dina: do you look like young brando (laugh) Edward: no more like some other actors a little like woody allen Edward: funnier Dina: well, quite witty, but a bit neurotic, no Dina: im not eastern, beware Edward: i saw him in a night club 35 years ago he was quite brilliant...his films suck Dina: well, i like him, usually Dina: lately less Edward: i cant think of the names of the actors i look like Edward: i find him tedious Dina: it depends Edward: one is supposed to like him critics and all. .some of the things he directed i liked... Dina: today theres and old woody running on tv, i thought of seeing it, one of my preferred Dina: whats the name in english i dont know, simply alice or womething Edward: what do you mean eastern? Dina: his wife Dina: did you see this one? Edward: probably Dina: mia farrow is a tedious housewife and goes to that eastern doctor Dina: its so good Dina: i will see spider man 2 this weekend Dina: disappointed? Edward: what did you mean you are not eastern? Dina: on dvd everything goes Dina: oh, forget it, i was making a joke on vietnamese woddy's wife Dina: woody Edward: yes i can see we will spend many weekends in bed watching film Dina: gotcha Dina: well, thinking about it, i am eastern, no, middle eastern at least, a sabra Edward: who was the young scientist on jaws curly hair wire rim glasses Dina: lets say asian, ok Edward: ok asian Dina: richard Edward: asia minorian Edward: richard what Dina: dreyfuss Edward: richard dreyfus thank you Dina: what about him Edward: i sort of look like him maybe Dina: he has a funny looks Dina: but fatter than you, no Dina: at least now Edward: im talking about when he was younger Edward: briefly Edward: i am not fat Dina: my mother looked like ingrid bergman, but look what happened Edward: portly or rotund Dina: i know, darling, teasing you

Dina: dont worry Edward: i know darling teasing you Edward: i wondered what your mother looked like... Dina: i told you, ingrid bergman Dina: very beautiful Edward: look to the mother and see the daughter in time Dina: my father was deeply in love with her Dina: oh, no, im not as beautiful as her Dina: like us Dina: i have many of father's traits Edward: smarter Dina: yes, and he wrote wonderful letters to her, passionate Dina: big jewish nose Dina: well, not so big Dina: long but thin Edward: so i am like your father Edward: capable of wonderful letters Edward: passionate Dina: you know, she ripped (or teared?) the letters a few months ago, i could save only one Dina: yes, im like my father too, not like her Edward: madness Dina: im not refering to madness Edward: no i didnt think you were mad Dina: neither am i Dina: but personality, how she was before Edward: im talking about the self the personality Dina: i think she was under pressure for living in this nest of geniuses, father, me, natan (modest) Edward: also when he died she lost the love in her life Edward: you know, inteligence is very impositive Dina: no i did not Edward: i am generally disliked for other reasons Dina: well, you know, painful to say this, but sometimes i think she didnt love him that much Dina: she didnt love anyone Dina: now, what reasons, my love Dina: tell me your flaws Edward: ingrid bergman cold skandinavian winters Dina: or what flaws strangers see in you Dina: nu, tell me your flaws Edward: i have no compunction saying whatever i want Edward: i am not interested in decorum Edward: it is my life i will say what i want Dina: i dont give a damn about decorum Edward: i answer to a higher decorum ME Dina: well, you are not that fit for socializing, no Dina: i dont care Dina: i aint either Edward: if im not happy whats the poing Edward: only if i choose Edward: i can be very charming Dina: you are Dina: even in writing Edward: but i dont choose to be around nonsense Dina: do you have many friends Edward: you Edward: my children Dina: me what Dina: so you dont Dina: neither do i Edward: a friend is someone that would die for you

Edward: i regard you as a friend Edward: im more of a solitaire Dina: well, i am, and more Edward: i am not interested in the madness of others Dina: a friend who fucks Edward: yes we make love together Dina: mine? Dina: great love together Edward: no i told you i find you quite sane Dina: wow, yes Edward: healthy Dina: edward, cueing Edward: yes i can sense you here Dina: we are lighter today Dina: i like it Edward: let me kneel in front of you and spread your legs Dina: i want to be light with you Edward: and put my mouth on you Dina: wow, quick sex today Edward: kiss you Edward: minute quick Edward: slip my tongue in you Edward: put your hands through my hair and hold me to you Dina: now you get me seriously Dina: i cant be funny with you kissing my bottom lips Dina: i caant say anything but moan Dina: oh, edward Dina: lick me Dina: water? Edward: suck me Edward: where did you go Dina: want some Dina: i didnt go anywhere Dina: im in bed Dina: legs apart and you are sucking me Dina: why doyou ask Dina: cant you feel me Dina: you head in my groin Dina: your curls mixing with mine Dina: edward? Edward: there was a long time when there was no response Dina: well, you, not me Dina: i thought you were gone already Dina: expecting you to leave at any moment Edward: no i was waiting for you Edward: so some bug interfering Edward: my tongue was tracing the lining of your cunt Dina: people dont let us be happy (a brazilian saying) Edward: feeling its textures its tastes Dina: but then you stopped Edward: its smell Edward: never mind Edward: we're back Edward: the next computer will be better Dina: when Dina: where Edward: yes spread your legs wide Dina: why are you not there from the beginning Edward: knees up spread them spreading you wide open Dina: yes, edward Dina: come near me Dina: hold me

Dina: tease me Dina: bite me Dina: eat me Edward: let me kiss you Edward: bite you eat you Dina: hold me veeerytight Edward: lay upon my bellly and take my hands and open you up spread you Dina: let me feel you welded to me Edward: wide cavernous Edward: slip my hands around your butt Edward: slip my self into you Dina: ahi, edward Dina: slide down that delight Edward: yes Dina: deeper Edward: feel you smell you Dina: skin on skin Dina: kiss me Edward: deeper into you Edward: cock erect hard Edward: deep with in you Edward: kiss you mouth on mouth wet on wet tongue touch tip of tongue Dina: sigh Dina: tongues mixed Dina: curled Edward: darting mouth sweet sucking swallowing Dina: sucking Dina: eating your face Dina: devouring you Edward: im yours Edward: to eat Edward: to fuck to love Edward: fucking you Dina: oh edward harder Edward: hands on ass mouth on mouth cock in cunt Edward: harder pressing you deeper in us Dina: im sucking you throbbing around you Dina: my nails on your back Edward: deeperdina harder dina Edward: harder Edward: raising Dina: bite be dig into me Edward: raise yourself arch your back lift me Edward: groin to groin Edward: wet to wet Dina: stab em edward Dina: me Edward: fuckme Dina: pubic hair mixed curl in curl Edward: stab you dina Dina: stronger Edward: deep within side of you Edward: your white skin hips breast cunt against me Edward: mouth on mouth fucking you Dina: kiss my nipples Dina: suck them Edward: take tongue and touch them put them in my mouth and give suck Edward: bite them nibble at them devour them Dina: drowned in sensation Edward: tongue and teeth biting them tracing the hard errect nipple flushed with blood Edward: fuck me dina fuck me

Dina: edward, i love you edward, fuck me Dina: dont let me go Edward: push your cunt against me hold me grab me milk me Edward: hold me dina Dina: oh my love im one with you Edward: fuse with me stomach to stomach chest to chest mouth to mouth Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Dina: yes, edward, yes Edward: breathe let me hear you panting Edward: writhing underneath me Edward: knees spread apart wide opening your hot wet self Edward: wider dina wider fuck me hold me Dina: i feel you deep inside me Dina: touching my core Edward: faster dina faster dina Dina: heart to heart beating in unison Edward: harder dina harder Dina: faster, harder edward Edward: tip deep within you Dina: oh my god edward Dina: im coming Edward: come with me dina come Edward: come dina come Edward: oh come dina come Dina: lets come Edward: fuck me dina fuck me i love you Dina: i love you too Edward: come with you dina Dina: oh edward Dina: ufff Edward: rigid coming stiff spasm wave upon wave into you Dina: oh my Dina: so good Edward: oh dina i am in you held in you with wave on wave of orgasm Edward: your cunt tight locked on me Edward: fused locked Dina: i dream of you a shared orgasm Dina: energy surrounding us Dina: emanating from us Edward: muscles set against me in primal embrace Edward: nature ensuring seed from this union Dina: edward, i love you Edward: je t'aime Dina: te amo Edward: i love your body Dina: i love all ofyou Dina: bodyincluded Edward: how it responds to me Dina: i love you more Edward: yes, recognition Edward: no, i love you more Dina: no i would have to say that i love you more Edward: anii od ioter Dina: one nothing Edward: no thing? Dina: tennis score one to zero Edward: one for you Dina: i won this one Edward: one for you Edward: i let you Dina: yes you did Edward: you won, i mean

Dina: no no is insist Dina: typed wrongly Edward: no no your point Edward: wrongedly Edward: ohh, guess, i forgot about that freudian term, what is it Dina: oh yes, flawed act, or something like it Dina: how do you say in english Dina: ato falho Dina: when you say something you didnt intended but did subconsciously Edward: freudian slip Dina: ok, i said iwon, freudian slip, i owe you one Edward: that s funny Dina: i owe you a lot anyway Edward: you are begining to become my life Dina: dont mind being in debt Edward: you are mine Dina: each day i come and open the pages of it Edward: go on Edward: soon i will not come back to this step inside the portal of this book we are writing and sail off to the sunset over the horizon Dina: yes, it will be soon Dina: you know, this is a private joke Dina: from a velvet underground tune, lou reed Dina: do you know it? Edward: know of velvet underground Dina: the story of a guy who sneds himself by mail yo is girlfriedn? Dina: uh bad typing Edward: tis possible if you know how Dina: the sends himself in a big box Dina: when she receives, she wonder how would she open ths package Dina: and he is there, inside, thrilled at the possibility of surprising her Dina: so she goes to the basement Dina: and he is singing Dina: it will be soon Dina: she comes upstairs with a whats the name, elkectric saw Dina: and starts to cut, it will be soon Edward: oh, dark ending Dina: yes funny but dark Dina: i made a performance wit this tune, a jeweklry show in a night club, it was so funny Edward: funny but dark Dina: i used to be dark Edward: let us bring light endings to thing Dina: reminds me of the package i sent you Dina: it will be soon Edward: bright and sound Dina: flesh and all Dina: my love Edward: yeh eyes pubic hair panties...what a surprise for the inspector Dina: laugh Edward: my chere Edward: laugh Dina: imagine if someone opens this at customs Dina: inventory and all Edward: give them something to discuss at diner Dina: how will they touch it Edward: one i received a package... Dina: shut up Edward: is it something really dangerous Dina: sexula terorism Dina: sexual Dina: to explode senseleeness

Dina: senselessness Edward: only to the up tight protestant mind of the american soul Dina: yes, average americans are square, no Edward: yes that seed will bring down the establishment put a crack in the sexual tableau of the american Edward: most people are square Edward: most hip people are square Dina: you will be arrested, dear, sexual corruption Dina: induction, i mean Edward: they have never been on the other side of the horizon Edward: yes arrested plead guilty Dina: oh yes, beyond rainbow Dina: i will visit you, dont worry, intimate visit Edward: yes other side of time Edward: other side of mind Edward: i have no doubt Dina: oh, my edward Dina: i love you so Dina: light of my life Dina: laugh of my smile Edward: i am hungry for you dina Dina: i wish i could teleport to you this afternoon Edward: hungry for your warmth Dina: dissolve here be ther instantly Edward: your love Edward: i want to be with you Edward: for you Edward: i want to put my hand on your belly Edward: in you Dina: i want to touch your face Dina: see your eyes Dina: hold you in my arms Dina: feel your smell Dina: sniff you Edward: kiss your mouth Dina: kiss you Edward: look into your eyes Edward: be with you Dina: voice and image at once Dina: and touch Edward: quick romance this 30 days and we are in love? Dina: we have been in love for quite a while Edward: first words i loved you Dina: so maybe 2 hours romance and we were in love already Dina: me too Edward: yes from the begining of time Dina: tantra and thats it caught me Dina: and ennui Edward: i liked that you did not speak in sentences... Dina: not anymore, ahn Dina: oh, i was a bit bored, you know (laugh) Dina: caus it is more you who dont speak whole sentences, no Edward: maybe i was mirroring you so you could recognize your self Dina: you in me Edward: me in you Dina: mutuous recognition Edward: im sure you doubted that you would find anyone Dina: mutual i mean Dina: you bet Dina: i didnt Dina: you found me Dina: not the other way round

Edward: i liked your photograph Dina: thanx god Dina: kidding!!!!??? Dina: how could you have ever found me Edward: why couldnt Dina: were you concealed Edward: just watching Edward: peeping Edward: not on brazilian radar Edward: observing Dina: so, well, each one playing his part, no Dina: you acted, i responded, male/ female perfect Edward: nature ways Dina: spirit ways Dina: the way of the tao Edward: yes Edward: tao ways Edward: no action Edward: always taoways Dina: funny Edward: witty Edward: no action no karma Dina: trop Dina: karma cleaned no Dina: we are each one's dharma Edward: good karma Edward: nothing but good karma from this Dina: yes you are my dharma Dina: oh, edward Dina: you know what pleasure is Dina: we speak same languages, all of them Edward: i love you too dina Dina: this Dina: you know everything i know Dina: so good Edward: everything i say you know about Dina: and more Dina: can teach me more Dina: no translating required Dina: thrilling Dina: be it english, french, hebrew, ancient, tradition, eastern, astro, whatever Edward: let me crawl into bed with you cuddle up curl up imbrace you Edward: latin, music Edward: lets talk Edward: cuntcock Edward: create our own Edward: you are unique in my sojourn on the earth dina Dina: same you my love Edward: that is why i spend hours with you Dina: me too Dina: wolrd dissolved Edward: resumed in you Edward: an intensive love summer course Edward: iwhat do you have on Dina: shorts Dina: buttons Dina: flowers Edward: i want to touch you Dina: doit Edward: let me go to the post office and see what is there Dina: ok, i hope you will find it Edward: ill call you after than hour or so

Edward: will you call again later Dina: ok, be here Edward: love you Dina: take my love with you Dina: be blessed a few hours later, Edward returns to screen

Edward: hello Edward: no package i think customs has retained it Edward: i heard your samba most lovely was your drumming in the background Edward: how can you be away? Dina: oh, edward, didnt see you Edward: are you there Dina: yes Dina: hei, sorry Dina: finger typing ontable Edward: i was reading some of your email Dina: this thing about customs is irritating Edward: complex rhythm took me away Edward: get over it. Dina: you know if you want to sing samba Dina: and have no instrument Edward: yes Dina: yes Dina: you tap in a matchbox Edward: oh Dina: hold the matchbox in the left, tap with right will show you Edward: i liked the complexity of the druming Dina: what complexity Dina: simple tapping on table Dina: near a wacky mike Edward: to a beat that is not common hear Edward: we beat to plodding rhythms Dina: edward, al tagzimi Edward: there is some thought to the beat complex relatively speaking Dina: so did you change location Edward: what is tagzimi Edward: yes civilization Dina: exagerate in hebrew Edward: clean new quiet smell of new construction quiet Edward: head phones work Dina: tell me Edward: equipment state of the art fast Dina: how is this thing withlibraries and computers, Dina: we have none of this here Dina: libraries for books Dina: barely Edward: this is really interesting Dina: you can stay there and surf for free? Edward: yes for hours as long as there is nobody here Edward: otherwise an hour Dina: yes, nice Dina: but yet i think i would not live without a computer Edward: i liked your talmud clip Edward: perhaps i will not now either Dina: didnt you know this Edward: yes i have long known it... Edward: sets into perspective balance Edward: i had a friend who used to say im ein ani li, meile... (so what?) Edward: i know a lot of stuff

Dina: i know you do Dina: and i love it Dina: i think you go deeper than me Dina: maybe i know what i need to, but not enough Edward: the answer to your friend is that his life will suffer kind of like obesity Dina: im sometimes on surface of some knowledge Edward: obesity of the soul full of himself Edward: most of the knowledge i have i have lived Edward: there is really knowing and merely knowing Edward: experiential knowledge Dina: well, he's ok, you know, its this habit of making fun of everything Dina: we were younger Dina: making fun of everything Edward: yes it will come back to bite him on his ass Dina: pull his leg in sleep Edward: i seek what is important Dina: yes Edward: things that are important may be funny Edward: pull leg in sleep? Dina: yes, like a phantom Dina: its funny to translate brazilian expressions into english Edward: what does that mean Dina: impossible Edward: explique moi Dina: means the same you said will come back to bite him on his ass Edward: yes we suffer the consequences of our actions Dina: language expressions are impossible to translate Edward: suffer also means to experience or reap Dina: you will have to teach me some Dina: yes, but you know Dina: i wish i could have a life without suffering from now on Edward: everything is translateable Dina: now that i am more mature Edward: you have me Dina: i count on you Edward: i am a rock Dina: to have love without suffering Edward: north star Dina: let me lean on you Dina: sit on me Dina: sit on my face Dina: fly with you across the evening sky Dina: always know where home is Dina: never lost Dina: always found Edward: yes, good Edward: odd how the transmitions pop up when they do sometimes immediately and sometimes sentences behind Dina: well, it depends on how much we type at a time, no Dina: i sometimes lose something Dina: sometimes i dont answer you Edward: you have to realize that i have never spoken with someone on the web like this Dina: and we change subject before finishing previous one Dina: well, me neither Dina: sometimes you dont answer me how dare you Dina: when you asked me to install msn Dina: i did Dina: and started to talk with a friend and nephews Edward: thats right you were into emails Dina: yes, but typing is something else, no Edward: but this is fine

Edward: because on emails you can elaborate, review erase Edward: and typing is more the flow of thought Edward: how is it talking with your friend same as us Edward: sincere and open Edward: no time to fake Dina: of course not, a girl friend Edward: yes no time to fake Dina: the only friend i have in fact and she lives in another city Edward: have you told her of us Dina: and when you arrive i say goodbye to all of them Dina: yes, i told you Dina: you know Edward: no not of me what of me Dina: everybody around me knows about you now Dina: well, that im soooo in love Dina: that i found my man Dina: that it was a miracle Dina: and i feel blessed Dina: well, they wouldnt know about you only if they were blind and deaf, no Edward: for you to find your mirror self is a miracle Dina: dont you think is a miracle Dina: us, i mean Edward: that i am alive is a miracle Edward: this is the real miracle you know Edward: a blessing like a beautiful healthy baby Edward: find the right key for your keyhole Dina: at the right time Edward: yes chance Dina: universe wanted us to meet Dina: why is it a miracle you are alive, tell me Edward: rio st augustine...impossible odds Edward: survive death Dina: what are you talking about, long ago? Edward: yes Dina: do you feel safer now Edward: what else Edward: i never feel unsafe Dina: you know i keep sending you blue light Dina: surrounding you with blue light Edward: harried put upon but always safe Dina: whats harried Edward: put upon Edward: like when dogs hunt rabbits or fox they harrie their prey Edward: drive them to ground to tree Edward: relentlessly being dogged Edward: by the petty things of civilization Dina: do you do this, how, when Dina: love transcends all Edward: no i dont do this it feels that i am the one chassed Dina: have you been taking good care of you lately Edward: put upon by snaping dogs Edward: people ignorance crap Edward: i am fine Edward: healthy thin strong Dina: you see, you need some protection Dina: i want to cuddle you Edward: yes you are Edward: please i could use the solace Dina: take good care of you Edward: please Edward: i am tired of taking care of my self Edward: it is such a bore

Edward: tedius Dina: i will love to do this, you know Dina: make your life comfortable Edward: to do it for myself becomes nonsense Dina: your path easy Dina: your sheets warm Edward: the talmud verse if i am only for myself... Dina: mi ani? Edward: if i am only tending my self... Dina: i will be there for you Dina: and you for me Edward: you are here for me Dina: if i feel loved i get full of energy Edward: so Dina: well, i am usually, but once well loved, more Dina: so i will do this Dina: take care of you Edward: if i do not love the energy devours me Dina: so devour me instead Edward: i have enormous energy that comes through me Edward: if i do nothing with it it consumes me Dina: let me care for you Dina: what have you done with it lately Dina: focus my life on you Edward: spoke with you Dina: you are not motivated with work Edward: loved you Edward: you have somesense of the energy Dina: yes, you know Edward: there has been nothing ive wanted to do for some time Edward: if i look behind Edward: nish barlley Dina: this last month was veery unusual, no Dina: nish barlley, what Edward: means Edward: up to ones nose with something israeli Edward: this last month was something of birth Dina: sorry, edward still dont get, dumb today Edward: of creation Edward: of beginning Dina: yes Dina: i moved tons of energy Dina: and each day we had more Dina: we, i mean Dina: i feel enlightened Edward: we do move tons of energy Edward: like tai chi Dina: i wonder in flesh Dina: do you do tai chi Edward: no but i used to do mime and in slow motion movement you suspend the chi Edward: hold it in your hand and move it through space Dina: i see, beautiful Dina: got an instant image Dina: wow, i would like to have met you then Dina: telling stories Dina: mimic Edward: so you will meet me now still me can still move Dina: playing guitar Edward: mime like marcel marceau Dina: and i bet more refined, no Edward: i play to you with me Edward: my voice my words my soul

Dina: i saw him once, on the first row, you know Edward: i did mime out in the negev desert nothing around Dina: by yourself Edward: lisa love of mine painter from lecole des beaux arts paris was watching me fell in love with me Dina: were you always a solitaire Edward: yes Edward: like you Edward: scout Dina: i can imagine Edward: single sojourner Dina: the scene Dina: no more, ahn Dina: single Edward: come dance with me my love be mine Dina: im yours already Dina: dancing with you Dina: in cosmic space Dina: i love you edward Dina: you make me happy Edward: love you dina Dina: want you forever Dina: i can envision myself in your arms Dina: you know, easily Dina: its a test Dina: if something comes easy, than is feasible Edward: i do not tire of you Dina: me neither Edward: each time is new Edward: alive good Edward: healthy beautiful intelligent Dina: and we will build something together Edward: yes our life Dina: life will provide us with endless energy Dina new subjects Edward: give strength to ourselves open a lighthouse to guide pilgrims from the rocks Dina: yes, nice Dina: i lke this thing of guiding Dina: like Edward: im waiting for new subjects Edward: learning through experience and than transmitting knowledge Dina: then Dina: we will have plenty, you will see Edward: even the flies can generate some novelty when we are energized by love Edward: lord of the flies Dina: laugh Dina: dark Edward: light Edward: flies are always dark Edward: wit always light Dina: love always light Edward: i have never been so in love with mind before Dina: why, poor living beings, what about fireflies Edward: from art but never mind Edward: my son used to love to catch them and put them in a jar...ian Dina: well, love comes from brain, no, hormones flushing Edward: they would light around the pond...beautiful Edward: yes Edward: we had such a lovely life together Edward: nothing but good Edward: bringing beauty to their lives

Dina: had? Edward: daily moment by moment Dina: you ian charles? Dina: do you see them often Edward: yes ian charles and i Edward: i used to drive up to ohio once or twice a month put a quarter million miles on a new car... Dina: well, but this a while ago Edward: we would stay in hotels for two or three days...or go camping Dina: what about now Dina: what happened to ian's graduation Edward: ian was here for two months before he went to boot camp near chicago navy Edward: charles is sixteen and i have not seen him for a year...sad makes me sad Edward: drains me of my energy will Dina: why dont you go visit Edward: i talk to him once or twice a week enter his head rearrange a few things...check on him Edward: i have not felt like it sad broke up with katherine and became even sadder morose Edward: despondent Edward: grim Edward: shall i go on Dina: yes, if you want to Edward: so as long as my children are okay i am fine Dina: i hope you are out of sadness Edward: does it not sound that way when i speak with you Dina: i want you to be satisfied Edward: have you ever heard me be sad Edward: you please me dina Dina: not regularly but now yes, a bit Edward: all the energy i possess focuses on what i choose...if it is my children and there is nothing to be done then it is energy without direction and is detrimental Edward: this is history of which i speak dina Edward: my sons are becoming men they are leaving home Edward: ian will be training in florida Edward: charles is fine and healthy Edward: katherine is a thing of the past Dina: well, this is part of life no Dina: children getting adults, i mean Edward: the thing about loving is that it is complete consuming Dina: well, but then no Edward: yes worry...are they okay things you cannot help Dina: i do not agree this time Edward: love must generate not consume Edward: about what Dina: told you Edward: yes love Edward: but you and i have loved and have been left with a fire without a hearth Edward: can burn the house down Dina: no, dear, we wont Dina: maybe we can burn sadness Edward: burn electrical pathways blow out circuitry Edward: dina the love i have for you is different than any other i have every had Dina: and enlighten the dark night of soul with our brilliance Edward: it is intellectual Dina: for now, no Dina: more complete later Edward: of the mind and as a consequence all of me Dina: communicating is essential, no Edward: my passion comes from the highest consciousness i possess Edward: it is not in nonsense that i love you

Edward: some flirtation Edward: so it has potential to spread Edward: it is to the depths of my soul my heart my mind Dina: i can feel this and do the same Edward: thats what makes it worthwile Dina: but yet i yearn to be together with you Dina: share space and skin too Edward: yearn ache Dina: be with you Dina: je suis tranquille today, hope it will last a week Edward: im sure it will Dina: so you will see me more rested, thats what i want Dina: i want to be new Dina: for you Dina: renewed Dina: really radiant Edward: ah dont want me to see that first picture you sent me Edward: the one you said that you would not send it to someone you wanted to like you Edward: i loved you for that your openness candor Dina: i sent you a paper photo i like a lot Dina: from 2 years ago Dina: red hair Dina: well, the rest is the same Edward: i probably will not see it before your arrrival Dina: you can picture me telling some joke Edward: unless you email it to me Dina: capricorn humour Dina: edward, dont say that Edward: i didnt know it existed Dina: i want you so much to see this package before my arriival Edward: what cap humour Dina: i did in the mikva Edward: did what Dina: i cant email you the phot its not scanned Edward: yes i didnt know capricorns had their own humour Dina: laugh Dina: oh, they do Dina: all caps i know are the same Dina: my uncle is a master Dina: always very black Edward: and the email of the mikva was so filled with imagery that i could not experience it any more real or with any move poignancy Edward: the famous one the tazdik Dina: oh, i was pretty desperate you know Dina: no, not uncle simchale, i real cap uncle i have here Edward: desperate for what Dina: always very negative Dina: but witty and intelectual Dina: when i wrote mikva Edward: yes my family are all cards uncles witty Dina: i was desperate Dina: do you enjoy family Edward: philosophical knowlegeable about human beings but not spiritual Dina: yes, thats it Edward: sharp Edward: salesmen Dina: vrai juives, ahn Edward: cadillacs silk suits Dina: wow Edward: american way of life Edward: i am the black sheep

Dina: do you value this, i know you dont Edward: so far out there there is no there there Dina: welcome to the club Edward: i was there first Dina: yes, older Dina: you opened the path for me Dina: so welcome me Edward: when you were a child i stood before god and lay down isaacs life Edward: not exactly part of the norm Edward: way unique Edward: path of tsadiks Edward: did not intend it Dina: from birth? Edward: ended up on it Edward: ended up it Edward: i am the path Dina: let me follow Edward: interesting thought Edward: walk along side Edward: let me put my arm around you Dina: humm Dina: waist Dina: thrill Dina: let us walk in the garden ...gan eden Edward: yes waist Dina: no sins, eh Edward: theres no such thing, sin Edward: and moral Edward: always around the waist held close to my hip Edward: joined at the hip Dina: hummm Edward: clean Edward: without shadow Edward: light uninterrrupted Dina: im here Dina: you delight me, you know Edward: every minute thought Dina: flow Edward: it is you that you see reflected in me Dina: no edward, i hope i see you Dina: and join you Dina: in your path Edward: yes you will like me Dina: no, edward, i do like you already Edward: join you in your path Dina: your path is mine Dina: good deeds, as you used to say Dina: mission Edward: we are just going to be walking it together instead of separately Dina: finally, ahn Dina: stars arriving Dina: shabat shalom my love Edward: shabat shalom dodee Edward: dodi li, va ani lo... Edward: yes with whom can i speak thus Dina: do you want me to bake a chalah for you Edward: ever yes Dina: you know when i make chalot they come out giant Dina: i like to knead dough Dina: its very spiritual you know Edward: and we will sit naked at the table and break the bread and say the bleassing and dip it in the salt and drink the wine and go to bed laughing and making love

Edward: yes i know it is spiritual Dina: to make bread is a strong experience Edward: yes holy Edward: that is what it is about you and i ...it is holy Edward: promise Edward: there is a holiness to this Dina: oh edward Dina: i want to be with you Edward: you say that and my stomach flutters Edward: what poetry we can bring to our existences Dina: you know, the only way i know to live a life is like this Dina: along with the extraordinary Dina: never had a common experience Dina: always some transcendency Dina: i always see, feel beyond Dina: make connections Dina: symbol Dina: metaphore Edward: i have not thought of ever having a wife Edward: but you are wife to me Dina: i was thinking the other day Edward: without effort Dina: did you ever marry with jewish vows Edward: no Dina: ancestral rituals Dina: would you like that Edward: you would be the first woman i ever truly married Dina: so would you like that Edward: what does it entail Dina: entail? Dina: explain Edward: involve Edward: yes i would like that wed in ritual Dina: well, a ritual Edward: but i would give you a ring embrace you in my prayer shawl and make love to you under it Dina: so if we get along and decide to be together i will run for a divorce guet Edward: i dont need you to be divorced to marry you Dina: well, maybe i would like that Edward: i would like that Dina: i never thought i would care for this again, but now i do Dina: because that marriage i had really felt like a vow in heavens you know Dina: and it must be broken Edward: it is broken in heaven and we are consecrated in heaven Edward: the key to heaven is my hand Dina: well, i will think about it Edward: heaven is at hand Dina: this thing about ritual, religion, i dont know where i stand you know Edward: your hand Dina: yes but where Dina: i cut my ties Dina: and never filled the void Edward: where shall we conduct this ritual Edward: israel? Edward: rio Edward: someplace holy Dina: i dont go for israel these days Edward: when i am with you i am someplace holy Dina: there are a lot of holy places in usa Dina: ancestral vibes and strong Dina: i dont know about florida

Dina: i once had been to a wonderful place, uh Dina: i had goose biumps remebering this Dina: a hot spring in the mountains Dina: colorado, i think Dina: so we were there Dina: i sit on the rock and let the hot water fall on my neck for a while Dina: when i stood up i saw a giant ball of fire crossing the sky Dina: very slowly Dina: i thought it was some eye effect or something Dina: than i blinked Dina: stayed with eyes closed for a moment Dina: took a breath Dina: but then it was still there, in twilight Dina: some other 2 people saw it too Dina: in tahoe, also there was some magic Dina: so we will see Edward: yes tahoe...eloped to tahoe know all about the magic of tahoe Dina: i know, thats why i said it, you told me Dina: i have been to quite a few places in usa Dina: there is only one place i care to be Edward: that is... Dina: me and you together, wherever Edward: you Edward: yes... Dina: you are here Edward: i am there Edward: i am with you Dina: ubiquos Dina: you are here Dina: edward, time to go? what do you think Edward: ciao Dina: cause i'm free today, but a bit tired Dina: i suppose we wont be typing tomorrow Dina: or sunday Edward: no probably not Edward: but possibly we will speak on the phone Dina: i will call you to say hello Dina: tomorrow Dina: at 2 Edward: i will be waiting to hear from you Dina: oh good we can talk on weekends Dina: i used to suffer Edward: love you dina Dina: love you edward

Saturday Dec 18

Dec 18 Dina tracking

Track & Confirm Current Status You entered EE01 8385 160B R We attempted to deliver your item at 11:23 am on December 18, 2004 in SAINT AUGUSTINE, FL 32084 and a notice was left. It can be redelivered or picked up at the Post Office. If the item is unclaimed, it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later

Dec 18 Dina if you happen to drop by... and check you email, know that i LOVE YOU. i'm thrilled when i talk to you (almost an impossibility, talk) i'm aroused by your voice, deeply moved by your energy. Oh, Edward. Je t'aime, mon amour. pray to see you soon, feel you soon body and mind and heart and soul, open myself up to you, let you inside, my body, mind, heart and soul. one with you. Love/ D

Dec 18 weekend movies report oh, dear, lousy selection this time. spider man 2 is creepy. spider man cant stay with sweetheart, he is kind of a spider, you know... unless she turns out to be.... spider wife, which she does. lots of poor effectitis. and raising helen, well, shallow emotion guess what's coming next makes you cry kind of film. (i do cry in movies) good to relax, counting minutes to call you. i promise not to rent such crap when i'm with you, well, not every weekend can find a genious Kitano, no? not enough good material. Love you/ D

Dec 18 Dina re: gone to sleep to dream my love i just read this email, 2 days late, i never check hotmail emails, please dont die, wait for me only 1 week to go... i will marry you be wife to you build a life with you, feel you inside me, one with me...

----- Original Message ----- From: e isaac To: [email protected] Sent: Thursday, December 16, 2004 8:53 PM Subject: gone to sleep to dream again you are gone gone to sleep gone to dream where are you Dina. . .i am mad for you mad in love for you. . .Dina it is winter and i am dying. . .cold to the bone. . .resurected by you. . .kiss me Dina kiss you hold me hold you. . . je t'aime mon amour. . .overwhelmed by passion Dina i love you long to hold you marry you be with you love you words flow without thought self speaking unsensored thought set loose Dina marry me i love you be with me be wife to me Dina i love you fuck me Dina i love you plan A

Sunday Dec 19

Dec 19 Dina sunday morning i woke up freezing from ar conditioning birds singing your smell in my left hand...

Dec 19 Edward re: gone to sleep to dream to sleep to dream

. .it was with great passion that i wrote this. . .spoke of it in our conversations on friday. . .refered to it as plan a. . .i wait to speak with you . . .you take my breath away. . .adrenaline coursing through me. . .weak in the knees. . .you have become like a phantom that inhabits me. . .moves through me. . .i have the post office documentation will pick it up monday morning. . . i look forward to touching you smelling you. . .seeing you in daylight. . .love Edward

Dina: hei, edward! Dina: good that you caught me here Dina: i was thinking about you for a change Dina: thinking of you Dina: i mean Edward: so i have caught you here Edward: hard to catch a phantom Dina: what are you doing online on a sunday Edward: read your e mails Dina: sigh... Edward: why sigh Edward: the cyber cafe was open and i was walking by soooo Dina: was it worthy Edward: takes my breath away Edward: love to read you Dina: breath, my love Dina: breath deeply Edward: yes slowly Dina: did you find out i wasnt really aware of plan a after all Dina: havent read the email Edward: yes Dina: funny Edward: yes Edward: so Dina: wrote this morning Edward: who you? me? Edward: so Dina: me dropped a note Edward: will pick up pkg tomorrow. . crack of dawn Dina: iwas reading your email you didnt let me Dina: are you going to be up early. ahn Dina: mom just asked if today is monday 27 Dina: i wish... Edward: stand and wait for the doors to open Dina: silly Dina: didnt you see its not there yet Dina: just the documentation Dina: central post office couldnt deliver probably cause your office was close on sat Dina: so you better drop by around noon Edward: no? Edward: the package is at my post office now Dina: is it? did you track? Edward: i have the notice in my pocket Dina: oh Dina: you have to open at home, listen to me Dina: dont do it in the car, or cafe, or library, please Edward: loved hearing from you yesterday odd how silent i can be listening to silent Edward: okay i shall take it and sit in sunlight and open it slowly Dina: yes. will do another training session this afternoon Edward: revealing each of its contents Edward: like a parcel of emeralds...each stone precious with its own merit Edward: each stone reflecting light in its own inimitable way Dina: you know i was having some fun reading a horoscope about our relationship, half an hour ago Edward: i must fly now Edward: what did it say Dina: oh, ok Dina: wow, powerful, like we can change the world around us with our energy Dina: only beware of power struggle. and ego (laugh) Dina: love you edward Edward: love you too

Monday Dec 20

Dina: hei! survived? Edward: hello dina Edward: i have opened the package in the order that it was meant to ...it was not violated Edward: and so here you are with me Dina: so Dina: how do you like my trailer Edward: what is a trailer Dina: movie trailer

Dina: not the right term? Edward: that i know Edward: well at any rate i have your picture in my hand... Edward: how interesting Edward: love your hands Dina: interesting? Edward: smart hands Dina: hands? Edward: yes you are pleasing to me Dina: oh god Edward: you are not fat Dina: you didnt like my scalp Edward: that is good Dina: fat? Edward: love the way you smell Dina: are you still there? Dina: in fat, i mean Edward: no that was a joke Edward: a reference to the fat stuff... Dina: todah lael, no Edward: you are antithetical to that Dina: you bet Edward: strong fit nice waist Edward: nice face Dina: i'm skin and bones after a month making love to you compulsevely Edward: better that the other pictures Edward: i like the lines of your face Edward: you remind me of my father Dina: well, i told you, i like this one Dina: it reminds me of mine too (laugh) Edward: or at any rate the physiognomy of the schwarcz lineage Dina: well, we're family no? Edward: same lineage anyway Dina: you and i, i mean Edward: i liked the square shoulders katherine had square shoulders maybe the mark of a runner Edward: yes we are family you and i Edward: i like your hair Dina: well, my hair is shorter now Dina: and not dyed Dina: but anyway, not small Edward: there is an energy emnating off you light as you said Edward: hair cannot be small Dina: its a joke, cause mine has quite a volume Edward: and i loved the pubic hair in sunlight Dina: were you at home at least Edward: how it shown copper like silk Edward: yes i sat on my couch in the sunlight and examined each piece with a microscope Edward: like your skin cream Dina: like you will do with me no Edward: scrutiny Edward: like the little orgasmax packet Edward: the aesthetics and all Dina: did you use it, the cream Edward: no i just put my nose in it Edward: loved your hair and the knot you tied...rich color Edward: thick Edward: liked the shamanic piece Edward: looked at all the windings of rope Dina: so i think it was worthy,no Dina: the shamanic piece is quite old

Dina i had many Dina: ten years Dina: worked with this for a while Dina: but that one is the only survivor Edward: pheasant feather? Dina: well, i dont know, in fact Dina: it was a gift Edward: and you what a character you are Edward: so animated so marcel marceau like Dina: what a character? Dina: so fits a mime? Edward: a person of striking visage or personality among other meanings Edward: one must possess great personality to communicate as a mime Edward: the inside must come out without words Dina: yes, i know, must be difficult Edward: you look differently than i had imagined Edward: and very expressive Dina: better or worse Dina: well, you didnt see me yet Edward: you are not exotic in this picture Edward: very erudite Dina: well, this you already know Edward: strong bone like Edward: muscle sinew Edward: piano player Edward: i can see the energy in you moving Edward: you remind me of family Edward: like we have been together a long time Dina: so, would you fuck family (worried) Edward: i like the shape of your face Edward: there is way more depth to this than fucking Dina: oh, edward, im kidding Dina: you sound solemn Edward: the picture is frozen in time this between us is moving Dina: and i love you oh so very much Edward: i am pleased with the package Dina: and i know we are meant to be together Edward: i loved the smell of your panties Edward: it smelled as though you had just taken them from the dryer Edward: petite Dina: well, but they are used, you know Edward: imagined you in them your hips your waist Dina: i couldnt add more smell than this Edward: yes so i imagined that to be your soap Dina: how do you like simplicity Edward: clean pleasant Edward: like the cut of the panties Edward: the design architecture Edward: i know the mikva is engraved in my consciousness Edward: all of it Edward: i cannot imagine speaking out loud to you these words that i write Dina: yes, well, i feel the same sometimes you know Edward: i would probably be very formal and polite if i first met you Edward: maybe thats why it is sometimes difficult to talk on phone Edward: maybe after we laughed together i could begin double entendres of seduction Dina: yes i know but you are so strong Dina: i wish we were talking now Edward: on the other side we had this opportunity to express ourselves completely Edward: it is difficult to focus in a cave the phone...so i use a different band width...it includes all the bandwidths...it is like a completely open f stop on a camera Edward: without the restraints of speech and shyness

Edward: so i hear everything Edward: and as consequence like a radar or sonar can pick up imagery of the terrain Dina: what do you see Dina: can you see the love waves? Edward: but now in speak phone i can be more precise speak succinctly Edward: i looked at your handwriting Edward: so clear open so like a girl Dina: uh, bad writing isnt it Edward: may hand writing looks like a doctors writing Dina: you know im getting worse in writing Edward: i like you Dina: so you can barely read it also Dina: like? Edward: like the picture of you...so ordered so structured Edward: all the pins in a row Edward: detail oriented Edward: interesting masks in the background Dina: yes, im ordered alright Dina: welll, no Edward: there is nothing about you that i do not like Dina: this is not my house Dina: not my expression Dina: not my objects Edward: i do not understand Edward: whose expression is it Edward: it is your face isnt it Dina: the background in the picture, i mean Dina: masks etc Edward: not my objects i understand Dina: its mom's house Dina: you would enjoy a million times more the scenery Edward: oh its the house you are living in no Dina: if i was chez moi Dina: my design Dina: my expression Dina: yes, this you will like, im sure Edward: ou est chez toi? Edward: with me Dina: right now only in my heart, with you Edward: wow Dina: edward, i love you Edward: i do like you it is so much more than like Edward: my feeling and connection with you is so sober Edward: so deeply serious Edward: important Edward: that it is not just passion Dina: yes Dina: for me neither Dina: that it is passion Dina: not this violent emotion that goes away Dina: but stays Dina: heating up our hearts Dina: bodies Dina: souls Edward: so we will start with touching Edward: slowly Edward: maybe a hand shake Edward: kiss kiss Dina: oh, no, edward, now this is too much Edward: smile Dina: hand shake i mean Dina: i will jump on you

Edward: so how are you laugh smile brush of lips smile Edward: fine did you have a nice flight Edward: you look lovely so do you hug Edward: kiss embrace Edward: touch hand in hand tracing hands fingers studying fingers Dina: i want to feel your arms around me Edward: i can feel your hand its intelligence Edward: its bones its muscles Edward: its consciousness Edward: its softness Edward: its smoothness...its hard tautness Edward: are you there Dina: yes, reading you Dina: feeling you Dina: enjoying you Edward: i glance at your picture in my jacket pocket Edward: smile think of you Dina: felling something strong deep in my heart while you type Edward: write to you Dina: edward? Edward: i am going to go to the other library so that i can speak with you at greater length Dina: so give me an hour or so Dina: i came from the gym Dina: didint have a shower Edward: this library is close to the house and could not wait to speak with you this morning Dina: and its time for lunch Dina: i was expecting you, didnt you notice Edward: speak with you soon. .love edward

Dec 20 Dina you make me forget

Oh, Edward, you absorb me so much, i forgot (once more) to tell you i have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, so i wont be here from 2 to 5 (brz time)

Dec 20 Dina love you more oh, Edward, how can i love you more than i already do. and yet i can. much more. how i love you more at each step we take. i love how you respond to me and i to you. and there's potential for even more. the love i will feel for you is something i never experienced, so how can i compare. or expect something. so i will meet you with an open heart. a clear vision. no expectations at all...

Dec 20 Dina so good to hear you laughing, to laugh with you, to be with you. couldnt go back to reading, or whatever, cant go back to a previous life without you. Loveyou, Dina

Dec 20 Dina sacred marriage

Edward: dear dina Edward: you are not there Edward: i am too early Dina: no, dear, im here now Dina: moment, i have to read what you wrote Edward: so i have you before me what a delicate creature you are Dina: did you read my email Dina: i have to check if water is boiling for tea, moment Edward: yes i read your e mail Dina: ok, back Dina: all for you now Edward: love by words

Edward: what a delightful person you are Dina: thats what we have Edward: your panties delighted me Edward: i sought every mm of them for scent of you scoured them with my nose Edward: closed my eyes to see more clearly Dina: what did you see Edward: c l e a n Dina: clean soul? Edward: clean scent Dina: coyote is here today, but i want to send him away Edward: allez vous en Dina: i want to be serious with you, cause i am Dina: i want to sound deeply moved Dina: cause i am Edward: please be serious Dina: maybe i am a bit afraid of the whole thing Edward: yes Dina: so i try to protect myself from something i cant get or want protection from Dina: and like you i am serious Edward: oh, very serious Dina: nad i mean evry sinlge word Dina: gesture or creative act Edward: when i was in jerusalem on the left side of the wall was a door and if you went in you could look down 6 stories to the stones of the wall below...they were pristine hidden all these years from sunlight Edward: sculpted yesterday chiseld from the stone of jerusalem Edward: if you looked down to the base of it you could see the begining of it Dina: im listening Dina: edward? Edward: i dont suppose these stones needed protection for the weight of everything rested upon them...but they had been protected by history by circumstance Edward: im here dina what Dina: it took you long to continue Edward: sometimes i write in paragraphs Edward: this machine is slow Edward: the process of transmission Edward: so we were like stones protected until the present moment Edward: so you are like one of these bedrock stones...pristine important hidden all this time Edward: these are the stones of the wailing wall Edward: preserved though advancing Edward: they are ten ton monoliths Edward: pristine unseen Edward: and yet present Edward: providing basis Dina: you have to know of this place to see these things Edward: no its you dina Edward: hidden pristine supporting the wall of my consciousness Edward: the bedrock upon which i have built an introduction to you Dina: oh edward Dina: we are so strong together Dina: so ancestrally intertwined like an ancient wall of sotnes Dina: stones Dina: not wailing Dina: but joyfull Edward: no idiot the wailing wall in jerusalem they are giant blocks greater then stonehenge Dina: from this moment Edward: greater than the stones of the parthenon Dina: well, now this i didnt know Dina: i did not see Edward: it is just a block of stone carved thousands of years ago

Dina: so we are one Edward: upon which the temple of jerusalem stood Edward: no mortar Edward: we are blocks of stone placed one on top of the other so heavy that no morter is required Edward: so heavy that they mesh perfectly Edward: no crack no space no light penetrates the seam of them Edward: they are perfectly meshed together Edward: made to fit into each other Edward: unmoved for thousands of years Edward: something like that Edward: coyote my ass Dina: edward, dont make me cry please Dina: you already did... Edward: they are nothing but weasels in dogs clothing Dina: well, sometimes coyote is needed, you know. not now, though Edward: some time eeshti is needed Edward: i have no need of coyote Dina: cause i have to face this like the priestess i can be Dina: you are my initiation Edward: you will meet me Edward: into what Dina: into our life together Edward: what initiation Dina: its a rite of passage Edward: yes we are a rite of passage Dina: oh, edward, baali Edward: WE are a rite of passage Edward: takes two to be WE Dina: if i were with you know i would give myself the pleasure of silence Dina: of feeling Dina: of understanding beyond words Dina: no words needed between us Edward: no just to lay naked with you next to me Dina: we ride the same cosmic wave Edward: my hand on your belly on your mound of venus Edward: your soft skin against mine Edward: face to face Edward: smiling Dina: so can i cry again Edward: you dont look like a crazy woman in this picture Edward: you look quite normal Edward: yes please cry Dina: i dont look crazy Edward: i dont think so Dina: im not crazy from your point of view Dina: cause you know me, the real one Edward: i dont think so Edward: you seem quite sane to me Dina: most people cant get us Edward: yes the more i look at your picture the more pleasing you are to me Dina: well im not a common person Dina: neither do you Dina: and though we look simple from the outside Dina: what we are inside now thats another story Edward: i love your fingers of your right hand Dina: and you are the one to really know me Dina: like i've never been known Edward: how does one fathom the dao Edward: or a wave Edward: yes my virgin Dina: until now you know my mind, my heart, my soul

Dina: and you imagine my body Dina: my way to make love Dina: but when we meet it will be complete Dina: and then you will hold the key for my whole being Edward: let me strip your clothes off and leave you standing naked before me Edward: so easy to do Dina: i am always naked before you, you said so Edward: im looking at your picture Edward: you are so beautiful Dina: see what a good or bad picture can amake from a distance Dina: make Dina: pictures are still though Dina: no movement Dina: not much energy Dina: a moment Dina: while we are a sequence of moments Dina: a flow Edward: nice expression of the hand Dina: so i touch now Dina: my love Dina: with both hands Dina: i explore your face as if i could not see you Dina: eyes closed Edward: i can see how shy you are Dina: i used to be very, yes, maybe not so much now Dina: but i think im modest Edward: no there is a sweet innocence about you Edward: yes modest that is a good word Dina: no tits showing you know Dina: discreet Dina: hidden fire Edward: no i will have to be very gentle with you Edward: i know you so well Dina: if you make love to me the way you describe it... Dina: half of it will already be heaven Dina: i love your way Dina: your touch Dina: your timing Edward: the way i describe it is the way i make love to you Edward: am making love to you Dina: i love every minute of it Dina: every act Dina: as if you already knew me Dina: for you do Edward: i love putting my hand in you and kissing you Dina: make love to me for hours Dina: make me moan for so long my throat will get harsh Edward: i am looking at your picture trying to see you moan Edward: does that figure moan Edward: does she wail in delight Edward: go mad with passion Dina: well, now, with family around no Dina: do you think we can make noise in a hotel room Edward: most likely Edward: especially laughter Dina: well, laughter is acceptable Dina: twas so good to laugh with you yesterday Edward: i would love to hear you wail Edward: hear you come Dina: oh, you most certainly will Edward: hear you pant Dina: with this way of yours of giving pleasure

Edward: hear you say my name over and over a gain Edward: wave upon wave of pleasure Dina: oh, edward Dina: more, edward Dina: please dont stop Dina: i love your name Edward: oh edward oh edward im coming oh edward im coming oh god edward im coming oh god edward i love you Dina: let me do the moaning, no Dina: i love you edward, my edward Dina: poor god is going to be so horny Edward: im just hearing dialogue Dina: not knowing what to do to relieve himself Dina: with so many praises Edward: he will have us act out his love making Edward: and be glad of us Dina: do you know theres this story Dina: that when 2 soulmates meet Dina: the whole of humanity takes a step toward evolvement Dina: and some more light blesses the planet Edward: yes they would have to and the energy that arises from our union is amazing Dina: you know, i had this vision once in new mexico Dina: my first Dina: of a white marble temple Dina: where mates kept making love all the time to generate energy for the world Dina: it was as if i discovered my mission Dina: and this was 10 years ago Dina: i could never even speak of this Dina: cause i never had some one to listen to this kind of thing sensation Dina: for the vision may be fantasy Dina: but the mission, and the feeling, these are very real Edward: you are such a lovely being Dina: you know, all symbolism in my work Dina: speaks of sacred marriage Edward: so we shall go off to a room and light the world Dina: yes, please Dina: have you seen the Galactic Medicine Wheel logo in my website Dina: its a symbol of sacred marriage Edward: the sacred is something i know about Dina: moon and spiral Edward: yes i know the wheel Dina: mmm Dina: you can say sacred marriage is an inner marriage Edward: what is between us is sacred Dina: sometimes we say so in encounters Dina: to curb frustration in many Dina: since a true sacred marriage is so rare Edward: it would have to be Edward: who has walked my path before Edward: and come back to speak of it Edward: dina? Dina: yes, edward, wait a minute please im looking for something to send you by mail Dina: moment Edward: waiting for godot Edward: waiting for dina Edward: a play in one act Dina: i will have to give up, no, too much time Edward: what are you giving up Dina: im almost there Dina: i dont give up anything Dina: never

Edward: you are such joy Edward: alive Edward: yes that is what it is you are so delightfully alive Dina: artists are like this, cheri Dina: you know it Edward: what are you doing Dina: so i sent you Edward: huh hmmm ? Dina: you will have to wait another moment i have to take my lens out Dina: check mail in the meanwhile Dina: back Edward: nothing yet Dina: i cant use the computer for more than 2 hs with contacts Dina: well, strange Dina: its already gone for a while Edward: you should be able to type with your eyes closed Dina: now, im not a good typist Dina: i type one key at a time, looking at keyboard Edward: i know that symbol will Dina: not like you Edward: well Dina: what Edward: i always liked the graphics at clipfit Edward: i didnt realize that you could not type Dina: its my oldest creative side Dina: i can type, i have 2 fingers after all Dina: dont you see i type Dina: creative side i meant as graphic designer Dina: i've been doing this since i was 15 Dina: and won a poster contest for the youth jewish movement Edward: you type very rapidly for a two finger typist Edward: little zionist Dina: well, i type all the time, you know Dina: i barely write with hand Dina: well, i was a zionist, alright Dina: was a leader Dina: madricha Edward: so when i was admonishing you to type faster dina type faster no wonder Dina: went to israel on shnat sherut when i was 18 Edward: a leader madricha Dina: when i was ready to leave the country and come back to brazil the tzava caught me Edward: how can you make love with two fingers Edward: what is tzava Dina: no, silly, i have 20 fingers to make love with Dina: army Dina: tzava "haganah" leisrael Edward: really didnt want to let you go huh Dina: so i stayed there while all my friends left Dina: i called my uncle and we had to pretend i couldnt speak hebrew Edward: how did you escape Dina: it was really funny Dina: well, i convinced them i lived abroad Dina: and was a tourist Edward: inee lo yichola lidaber evreet Dina: so they finally let me go Edward: yes fascistic bastards Dina: and i travelled alone to rome to meet my friends and the youth hostel Dina: you know i hated so much my experience in the army Dina: well, before they caught me, i mean Edward: when were you in the army Dina: we have been a week in the army

Edward: what do you mean Dina: 1970 Edward: ah Dina: as a group in shnat sherut we had this experience Dina: so we were visiting in jericho Dina: and we arrived to that wonderful palce Dina: palace Dina: where there is the most beautiful mosaic Dina: and the "captain" wouldnt let us be there for a moment to admire it Dina: he was so idiot Edward: abuse of power Edward: couchon Dina: so i wnt back to this place later in 1988 Dina: with my car Dina: in palestine territory Edward: i was in israel in 88 Edward: winter driving around in a car Dina: maybe we passed each other Dina: the only yellow license among so many arab cars Dina: 98, i said Edward: hebron? Dina: or maybe i typed wrong Dina: jerico Dina: so i went back there, and the mosaic was so beautiful as i had imagined it Dina: and i was very safe there, nobody disturbed me Dina: well, this was long before intifada #2 Dina: its near qumran, in a way Edward: i went to qumran as well in this trip Edward: i love qumran Edward: you poor thing trying to type with two fingers Dina: and to a wonderful place called zippori Edward: land of the zippo lighter Dina: no, i went to the living to catch a book Edward: ou est zippori Dina: cause in zippori there is a roman mosaic Dina: about dyonisius Dina: its near tveria Edward: tiberias? Edward: beit alpha Dina: its the newest archaelogical site Dina: it was the capital of galilee Dina: i will take the book so you can see Edward: yeh beit alpha Dina: i have had this dream with "sephoris" me and my dreams Edward: maale ha gilboa Dina: well, i dont know Edward: the kibbutz i was on Edward: who is sephoris Dina: about the kibbutz Dina: so i didnt know at the time Edward: beit alpha has the most extraordinary mosaics Dina: i thought it was a symbol tree of life Edward: it was a datee kibbutz Edward: 20 members on top of a mountain Dina: but then going to zippori was very strong Edward: datte Edward: shoveled shit for two weeks cleaned out the barn Dina: how could you stand it Edward: what was the dream Edward: it was a discipline Edward: it was not meant for me to like it but to do it Edward: the girls on the kibbutz were all paratroopers and the men would wrap tiffilin with uzis in the morning

Dina: i cant find bet alfa in this map Edward: they would read torah like it was nothing spoke ancient aramaic nice bunch of boys. Dina: did you too, wrap teffilin i mean Edward: you know tefilin is an interesting kind of ritual Edward: not like the arrogant bastard rabbis here that think they know shit Edward: yes it is i think it is absurd Edward: primitive Edward: i did it but ... Dina: all, religion is primitive my love Dina: from a time where consciousness needed to be raised from its basis Edward: no some of it like the prayer shall or fasting is okay but you start doing other stuff Edward: the tiffilin wraps the animal binds it in the sacred Edward: self binding self corraled Dina: thats wht i was saying Edward: i am way past the ordinary Edward: have long ago binded my self to the sacred Edward: bind my self to you Dina: when consciousness was limited and humans had to start evolving Dina: now we are somewhere else Dina: you know the other day you helped me reinforce and clear something Dina: i still fight with some of the concepts around religion, spirituality Dina: i was binded to rituals and religious tradition Dina: though never datee, no Dina: and sometimes i still dont know where im at Dina: i still have some conclusions to get Dina: am still researching Edward: to me one of the greatest rituals is the hand scribbed torah Edward: i love the discipline of it and the power of its manifestation Edward: i dont need to read it Dina: so although im quite sure this concept of "god" is fake, i mean, this god does not exist Edward: i am writing Dina: i keep invoking him all the time Edward: first cause gravity Dina: how can i be grateful, and say Edward: now i am sure you dont say adonai oh adonai im coming adonai Dina: oh adonai im so happy Edward: oh, collective unconscious wide mind Dina: oh, collective unconscious wide mind, edward, how i love you Dina: so to make it short, god Edward: it is the wind speaking through you any way Dina: oh, edward, i wish you could hear me laughing Edward: so what noises you make are only sounds Dina: what noise are you speaking of Edward: there is no way to speak the infinite the word AWE does it...so we make noises god adonai and think we are saying anything at all Edward: we cannot in our heads know that which cannot be known by knowing Edward: like eisenbergs principle of uncertainty Dina: wave or particle Dina: what does it matter Dina: after all Edward: you can know the speed of an electron or where it is but not both Edward: as soon as you can really OBSERVE it Edward: you cannot utter the inutterable...yi hee ah vi yi hee ah Edward: you can never experience god and remain apart from the experience Edward: to know water you have to get wet Edward: to know god you have to lose your self Dina: yes Edward: so there is no self when you experience god Dina: surrender they say quite a difficult concept

Edward: no drop of water when it enters the sea Dina: old image Edward: try jumping off a four story building Edward: surrendering the ego is hard for the ego to do Dina: well, will god hold me Dina: but you and i have surrendered to each other Edward: yes, a fact Dina: that is difficult to do Dina: and quite new to me Edward: to completely surrender to give up self to make vulnerable Dina: to really understand what surrender is Edward: you have to give the self up to get the self back Dina: did you receive the symbol Edward: i participated in the symbol Edward: you know Edward: was the drop of light returning to LIGHT Dina: sacred marriage Edward: yes SACRED MARRIAGE Dina: i had it tattoed on my hara Dina: on the back, though Dina: not front Edward: id like to tatoo your hara Dina: but then after a while i noticed the symbol was twisted Dina: so i had to rotate it 45 degrees Dina: and the tatoo is twisted unitl today Dina: for only now i will tatoo sacred marriage in my hara Dina: i was to hasty Edward: anticipating Dina: not patient enough Dina: you will tatoo, i mean Dina: with tongue Dina: heart soul Dina: do you know Edward: yes i will bite you nibble you tatoo your heart Dina: i reminded the rest of the marble palace vision Dina: i have to tell you this or else i will forget Dina: sacred couples on the palace were making love in a very unusual way Dina: the man was hard and touching the woman navel with the tip of his cock Dina: no penetrating Dina: no noise Dina: no movement Dina: and this would generate the waves of energy Edward: wave upon wave Dina: it was so unusual, beyond imagination Dina: beyond anything i could ever know from experience Dina: i was so impressed and surprised with this form lovemaking took Dina: i shared the vision with the group afterwards Dina: it was really something Dina: i did not talk about this for 10 years and now it came to my mind instantly while talking to you Edward: yes so i can place the tip of my cock at your navel and wave on wave Dina: well, we can try, see what happens Edward: i am sure you will come Dina: maybe we will be catapulted to some other place in time Edward: i can touch you and you will come Dina: yes, my love Dina: if i think of you walking in the street i come already Edward: be in you no sound no movement and have you come Dina: never so easy, you know Edward: it either is or it isnt Dina: i come with you typing on the other side of screen Dina: no touch

Dina: no finger Edward: katherine would come upon entering her without movement just the exchange of energy Dina: no nothing but the thought of you Dina: so let her be (in the past) Edward: she would be dripping wet at the touch of me Dina: sssstoooopp Edward: it is description it is not you Edward: i have never loved anyone like you as you as i love you Edward: that i effect you i find fascinatiing Dina: i could tell you i did not see you in the marble vision, and now, this is fantasy for sure Edward: i live an essentially solitaire life Dina: it was percy there with me Dina: now i know wrong fantasy Edward: to be engaged with another Dina: im solitaire too Edward: it was percy there with me? Edward: wrong fantasy? Dina: you wouldnt risk, would you Dina: you wasnt there, only him Dina: for long i thought percy was my soulmate Edward: what are you talking about? Dina: well, i had some encounter with him Edward: noise on communicatio0n no Dina: percy, my shaman guru Dina: i had the vision when i was with him Dina: but it wasnt mutual Edward: it seemed kindof tantric Edward: what wasnt mutual Edward: you loved him he didnt love you? Dina: what i felt (or fantasized) Dina: yes Dina: he wanted anorexic girls or men, preferably Edward: ugh Dina: but when i arrived to his house in new mexico i cried for 4 hours nonstop in a teepee Dina: i felt i was coming home Dina: (prepare tissues, my love, for no its the real thing) Dina: now Dina: but then he was a liar Dina: there was an iron chair in his living room Dina: the moved me (sensitive to beauty) Dina: just like one i had designed months ago Dina: he told me he designed it, later i discovered there were plenty of those chairs in new mexico design stores (santa fe) Laugh Dina: my revenge for your katherine’s remembrance Edward: yes et maintenant Dina: maintenant on parle de nous Edward: daccord Dina: je t'aime Dina: every past event a piece of the puzzle Edward: long for you t Dina: a key of the keyboard Dina: got jealous Edward: arghhh Edward: yes teach the difference between reality and dream Dina: this is the Real REAL Edward: yes Edward: the bed rock Edward: all visions in one Edward: ancient foundation

Edward: you have nothing to be jealous of katherine Dina: long dreamed longings made real Edward: you know me as she never could would did Dina: well, she is still a bit alive within you Edward: she asked me to marry her one night i looked down at her and thought no...but i said yes Edward: did not want to make her cry Edward: but you i have no compunction with Edward: no she is gone and i am healed Edward: second try (eloping to tahoe) Dina: thanks a, e, g Dina: names of god Edward: not trace of her in my heart . . healed clean slate except for you sprawled all over it filling it etching it moving it with your image Edward: you are all over the clay imprinted hands butt breast cunt mouth smile Dina: oh edward Edward: you are naked with the gray clay of me over your body Dina: we are stronger each time Edward: nice picture nice smile Dina: you can press your mark on my flesh Edward: how long did you wear those underpants Dina: wherever you feel like Edward: inside your flesh Dina: the one i sent? Edward: inside you Dina: a day Edward: you smell so clean Dina: i made love to you that day Dina: on screen Dina: and was wet with you Dina: and came Dina: wearing them Edward: mmmm oh dina Dina: a friday, if im not mistaken Dina: shortly before shabat Edward: and i loved your pubic hair Dina: oh edward Edward: you are so small i shall fill you Dina: i arouse me so Dina: you arouse me i mean freudian slip, no Edward: i am so hard for you right now Dina: and im throbbing Edward: hold my cock dina Edward: take it in your hands put your fingers around it and kiss the tip of it Dina: i kiss the tip of your cock Dina: put the tip of my tongue on the slit Edward: put it in your lips and touch the tip of your tongue on it Edward: surround the cock's head with wet tongue Edward: move your tongue around its edges circle it Dina: suck you lightly Edward: swallow me slowly Dina: holding him in my right hand Edward: entering your mouth your cheeks around me Edward: put two hands on me Dina: i can feel the wonderful smell in your groin Edward: hold me the length of me Edward: suck me deep within your mouth Dina: put your cock in my mouth until my nose touches your pubic hair Edward: move out and in slowly Edward: in and out Dina: licking Edward: swallow me deep within your throat

Dina: sucking Dina: eating Edward: wet me Edward: soak me Dina: oh edward, you fill me Dina: fullfil me Edward: close your eyes and swallow me Dina: satisfy me Edward: let me enter you now Dina: im throbbing for you my love Edward: spread your legs Edward: open your cunt for me Dina: come inside me Edward: take my cock and guide me into you Edward: take me hard in your hand and slide the tip of me into you Edward: slip into your labia Dina: my body trembles as the tip of your cock touches my labia Edward: slip inside the wet throbing you Edward: let me slip between it into the sweetness of you Edward: the hot wet mass of you of her Edward: let her trembling mouth taste me Dina: i welcome you sucking Edward: open and devour me Dina: hungrily Dina: i eat you Edward: groin to groin Dina: no edward Edward: no dina Edward: come in you and be held inside you Dina: us Edward: just us Dina: come to the core of me Dina: this being Dina: touch my center Edward: let me feel you all along the wet canal Edward: let me enter you thrust myself into the center of you touch home scratch on you Dina: touch me face breast skin Edward: feel the veins in me against the wet ribs of you Dina: look at me edward Edward: feel the swollen tissue of you hot wet throbbing Edward: let me kiss your cheek move to your mouth wet sweet kiss your lips kiss your tongue Edward: kiss your closed eyes Dina: mmmm Dina: feel you inside me Edward: sucking throbbing moaning Edward: i have two minutes dina Edward: let me fuck you fuck you Dina: oh my love will you live me like this Dina: fuck me edward Dina: make me come Edward: oh dina deep with in you in and out fill you oh dina i love you oh dina come dina come let me love you Edward: put my fingers in you cunt cock fingers wet mouth on mouth Dina: 2 minutes not enough for a life's hunger Edward: oh dina fuck me fuck me i love you Dina: oh, edward Dina: i love you so Edward: no dream of me be with me oh dina fuck me im comeing i love you love you dina love you Dina: ahhh sigh

Edward: cant wait longer Dina: love you edward Dina: glad we fucked Dina: before saying goodbye

Dec 20 Dina glad i love you so e says: no dream of me be with me oh Dina fuck me im coming i love you love you Dina love you Dina says: ahhh sigh Dina says: cant wait longer Dina says: love you Edward Dina says: glad we fucked Dina says: before saying goodbye

Edward: ok, back Dina: oh my god, what an orgasm , eh Dina: so did you loose everything that i wrote Dina: sucked all the energy around Edward: well i dont know Dina: you put the lights out in rio Edward: what an orgasm huh Edward: good its hard to know Dina: if you go back on screen you will read my warning and from there on i lost you Edward: it is all by feeling Edward: i dont care Edward: you put the lights off in rio Edward: i care about now and about your orgasm Edward: that was and is the point of this now Dina: you know its quite rare to have a peak of light here Edward: yes phenomenon surrounds us Dina: wow Edward: i did not get to hear your orgasm only "gozo" Dina: do you think we can make rain Edward: yes it is important to go to a place where it might rain Dina: at least it will rain sperm around us Edward: yes and you are so wet we can water the garden Edward: laugh Dina: enough to drink Dina: sustain life Edward: this will flower Edward: flowering even on wintertime Edward: yes wouldnt it be incredible if i could make you pregnant this way Edward: fill you so much with energy you split an egg yourself Dina: i wish dear, but dont think its possible Dina: here or there Dina: cyber or real Edward: no none of this is possible Dina: im past my prime (well, in a way) Edward: it is just randomly happening Dina: miracles do happen no Dina: oh edward Edward: well if you can orgasm typing Edward: how i love to exchange words thoughts with you

Edward: it seems we never fail each other Edward: you are good company Edward: endless flowing Edward: are you saying good bye Dina: no, why did you get this idea Edward: just wondering Edward: no there is great consistency in US Dina: how can we go so strongly with only words for so long Edward: because we are both deep pools Edward: without end Edward: open to the universe Edward: energy without limit Edward: channelers Dina: edward, again. i love you Edward: without limit Dina: i channel universal unconditional sexual soulful love with ou Dina: you Edward: orgasm? Dina: we have traveled apart for long Edward: learned many languages Dina: yes and i am tired of it Dina: gathered lots of info Edward: and yet we have the same words in our hearts Edward: tired of what, orgasm Dina: yeh we can tell lots of stories at dinner Dina: or travelling alone Edward: now how was your orgasm describe Dina: and tired of traveling alone Edward: me too Dina: glad to have a companion Dina: THE COMPANION Dina: twin planet Dina: have you heard of the echoing celestial bodies Edward: T H E C O M P A N I O N Dina: one repeating the other in a matter of seconds Edward: no Dina: proving string theory true? Dina: oh, so beautiful Dina: i must locate this to send you Dina: hard to understand Dina: but they detected this phenomenum Dina: everything one does is repeated by the twin in amatter of seconds Edward: so they are not twins in fact Edward: kind of like worm holes Edward: but to images of the same event vibrating on a string Edward: or they are the same being opening to two different places Edward: two ends of the same string Dina: its difficult for me to repeat this theory Dina: do you have a second Edward: laugh Dina: i think it was in bbc this weekend Dina: new scientist perhaps Edward: what are you doing Edward: hurry up Dina: from new scientist i cant copy and paste, copyright protected bastards Dina: i gave up this time Edward: zeh lo chachoov Dina: but if you happen to read about this string theory physicall proff Dina: proof Edward: its so similar to us Edward: one echoing the other Edward: if have read string theory months ago

Edward: 2 images of the same being Edward: complementary Dina: so we are proof of that Edward: yes the being is the two of us mated Edward: enjoined Dina: is, cause what happens in macrocosm repeats in microcosm Edward: same string vibrating in unison Edward: yes maybe except in atomic physics Edward: everything is a manifestation of everything Dina: no, thats the point to string theory, to find a unified theory that can join quantum to cosmic Edward: with you and i in the center laughing making love Edward: or else both fail Edward: i would rather do it than know it Dina: so lets vibrate my love Dina: in unison Edward: we do not know how we walk but we do Dina: echoing Edward: yes vibrate Dina: vibrate in my mouth Dina: but we know how to make love ahn Dina: speak into it Dina: make an echo Edward: and we do it Edward: what will you think of me Edward: if Edward: how will i quantify in your reality Dina: edward, short paragraphs Dina: dont get you Dina: quantify? Edward: yes when i look at your picture Edward: i have an experience of you Dina: so i dont have of you, you mean Dina: i trust you Edward: when i type with you i have an experience with you Dina: now that limping is explained im relieved (laugh) Dina: oh my love Dina: i experience you like the olympian god you are Dina: not less Dina: maybe more, a god made human Dina: flesh skin cock smell Edward: my life is bohemian dina it is not ordered Dina: yes, ive been noticing this Edward: it is chaos Dina: will you mind if i wake up early to run and let you sleeping Edward: that is not to say that i am not capable of great order Dina: can we adapt Dina: i give in a little Dina: you give in a little Edward: and with you in my life would be required Dina: so we build a life of our own Dina: you know my life has been filled with routine for the last 6 years Dina: but the only routine i really need is daily exercise to keep body in shape Dina: and im open to adventure Edward: no we will have to figure a path Dina: what do you mean bohemian include alchool Dina: or only mindwandering Edward: out of the norm Dina: well, i need to work for a living, too Edward: not normal Dina: or else we will starve Dina: not that is not a good thing, to starve (laugh)

Edward: i am not addicted to anything Dina: now explain your chaos a bit or i will freak out Dina: can it include someone else spinning at the same speed Dina: same orbit Edward: kids in the air ian entering the navy...charles unseen for a year last year in high school... Edward: if just did not give a damn about order or anything Dina: so you want your kids to come and live with you Edward: no they are on their paths Dina: so what worries you really, tell me Dina: in plain clear words Dina: please Edward: i have no worries Dina: poetry set aside Edward: i am effected by my separation from my children it is irrational...it is the kind of waking start of where is ian where is charles Edward: a constant unconscious worrying angst yeh angst is a better word Edward: what do you mean freak Edward: i can be and do what ever is required...but requirement requires reason...and until you i was not interested in reasons Edward: i had already done everything Dina: how do you live in practical terms Edward: done all the reasons...house property business Dina: dwell, eat Edward: i didnt care for it Dina: but then we have to get a home Edward: it depends... Dina: i would like to spend my first period with you writing Dina: writing is a bit chaotic Dina: so tell me what are you thinking Dina: erathly matters or heavenly matters Dina: earthly Edward: i am in limbo Dina: hei, edward, make yourself clear once and for all Dina: you were in limbo i figured Dina: not anymore Edward: what is required with you is to set up some financeial dynamic Edward: it will involve setting up a residency with telephone and computer and view Dina: you dont have to support though Edward: and charm and so forth Dina: oh well, telephone and computer are required Edward: so these are things that are required so they will happen Dina: charm ours Dina: im willing to buy a laptop Dina: so for my self i do not particularly care Dina: enjoy the day work a few days a month Edward: and for us do you Edward: my time is my own Edward: but there has been nothing i cared about Edward: you on the other hand come about and for a month now i care about you Edward: dilligently dayly care about you Edward: so now we will meet Dina: imagine if you were some ceo how could we have done what we did Edward: what we did is priceless Edward: having received photo today we become clearer Edward: a capital apport for the future Dina: clearer how Edward: who you are Dina: who am i then Edward: though you are multi national Edward: i see you in terms of a jew Edward: a brazillian

Edward: a shaman Edward: a woman Dina: shamans are good in travelling between worlds Dina: if everything goes as i imagine Edward: i know i was reading castanadas book yesterday Edward: his last one Dina: our shop will sustain us Edward: he is nonesense Edward: he is also dead Dina: yes Edward: does not sound like he loved Edward: but you can experience some of it Edward: yes our shop will sustain us Edward: i am capable of sustenance Edward: even opulance Dina: but we wont lose our time making money Edward: and luxury and grace etc etc Dina: i know a way we can make lots of money Edward: no we will loose our time making love Dina: and yet live in chaos as you like Dina: generating energy Dina: like the marble palace vision Edward: something nice here is around 800 to 1000 Dina: yu bet, edward Dina: making love is chaos Dina: we will make this vision come true Edward: that is the kind of chaos i am talking Dina: before you notice we will have more than enough to make a living Dina: i can provide US$500 without working Dina: from my fund Dina: but we wont need this Dina: we will need to be a bit daring though Dina: are you Edward: bank robbery Dina: no,k dear Dina: editorial market Edward: daring is my middle name Edward: anything dina Dina: yes best seller edward daring schwarcz Edward: i am tired of thinking Edward: about crap Dina: so stop Dina: quiet your mind Dina: sheket Edward: that is what i am doing with you Edward: no crap meaning Edward: so why stop Edward: something worthwhile Dina: you have to have faith in existence Dina: pop knowledge but true Edward: what do you mean faith in existence Dina: we will provide Edward: i will pass on armani suits, dont worry Dina: edward, now serious Dina: for years i listened to this voice in my mind "pack light" Edward: you seem to come from such a normal existence Dina: and i have been away a long time Dina: so i started to shed belongings Edward: what is pack light Dina: im not normal Dina: but caged Edward: i set you free willingly Dina: figure out me coming from years in jail with a small bindle Dina: bundle Dina: thats all i have Dina: and satisfied with it Dina: detached Dina: pack light is to have the minimum Edward: yes mirror of me Dina: so traveling is made easy Edward: no cage Dina: but i never knew why Dina: since im living in the same spot for so long Dina: didnt have any intention to move or relocate Edward: so we are each others lives Dina: and now, if i really wanted to i could carry all i have in this weekend bag Dina: only thing maybe i will be uncapable of Dina: is throwing everything away in a week Edward: yes i got rid of everything also Dina: i will probably have to come back here and settle things Dina: with mom , clipfit partnership and all Dina: and then go Edward: we will have to get linen furniture...dishes crystal Dina: this time to jacksonville airport Dina: only if you want to Edward: yes that would be more sensical Dina: im not planning lots of guests Edward: it is not me i am worried about it is you Dina: you know i have mileage to fly free on march Edward: of course you do Edward: good things happen to dina Dina: but i told you i sold china and silver Dina: and paintings Edward: i know Dina: and furniture Dina: and linen Edward: it is a metaphor for setting up housekeeping Dina: well you do have a double bed Dina: or a hammock Dina: do you want me to bring you one Edward: we need a bed and some egyptian cotton sheets Dina: oh, see, edward Dina: how you are Dina: thaTS WHY YOU ARE WORRIED Dina: sorry for capitals accident Dina: i sleep in mixed cotton sheets i bought for 5 dolars Dina: although colors match Dina: no night gown or lace negligée sorry Edward: things are cheap here Dina: i sleep naked Dina: see, bon gout reigns Edward: i assume you do Edward: me too Dina: we will manage Dina: my tantra mate Dina: tantra ritual lovers only need a blanket Dina: in vision quest not even a blanket is required Dina: only a circle of stones to protect you Edward: we have each other to protect us Edward: yes Dina: you will show me the way Dina: my darling Dina: i think i have to go now Edward: you are the way dina Dina: i have to eat dinner before i go out (laugh) Dina: and get dressed Dina: and give mom her medicine to see if she gets ready to go out Edward: ciao have fun Dina: will talk to you tomorrow Dina: after 3 fl time Dina: dont go spinning in your head Dina: relax Dina: trust us Dina: i wont anchor you Dina: but float with you Dina: are you still there mr hasty

Dec 20 Dina end of conversation

>my darling >Dina says: >i think i have to go now >e says: >you are the way Dina >Dina says: >i have to eat dinner before i go out (laugh) >Dina says: >and get dressed >Dina says: >and give mom her medicine to see if she gets ready to go out >e says: >ciao have fun >Dina says: >will talk to you tomorrow >Dina says: >after 3 fl time >Dina says: >dont go spinning in your head >Dina says: >relax >Dina says: >trust us >Dina says: >i wont anchor you >Dina says: >but float with you >Dina says: >are you still there mr hasty

Dec 20 Edward chaos my dear Dina. . .i am not in chaos it is more that i am standing and chaos surrounds me blows by me like a storm. . .there is no point in moving for all is chaos. . .but you are clarity. . .there is no chaos when im with you when my eye is on you nothing else exists. . .it is like the center of the eye of the hurricaine. . .silent quiet . . .lit with you. . .there is no storm. . .only the absence of you. . .if i seemed strange today it was because it was the day of the coyote. . .a day of testing your limits of me. . .you are so lovely. . .i do not know if i just saw your picture and never spoke to you whether i would approach you. . .too precious for one like me. . .could never imagine the love we have made from your picture. . .i am in soul your complement. . .your twin your mate. . .i am in mind your double your equal the mirror image of you. . .i love you Dina with all my heart with all my soul with all my might. . .ahni ohave otach. . .Edward

Dec 20 Dina re: chaos you didnt seem strange today, Edward. you attracted me like a magnet, instead, an energy i cannot avoid and wouldnt want to. and well, a picture is a picture. if you did see me in person, did look at me, you would grab me, take me to the first corner and make love to me, for you would recognize me as i would recognize you. if we did so with a slight cyber hint, guess with our whole energy present. i love you, my Edward, my twin, my mate, my sailboat/ Dina

Dec 20 Dina pow wow

Pow wow is the native american give away ceremony. a shamanic ritual to learn detachment. so i gave all my books away to the local library. the most precious art ones i sold to an used books store. i learned to run because for running all you need is a good pair of shoes, space and a free will. so i wondered, what do i need this freedom for, if i hate to run in the heat under the sun and keep training on a threadmill in air conditiong. well, i know now why i started running. running for life running for survival running for love running for your love, my love the more you tell me about you, maybe to disencourage me, the more i want to be with you, the more attracted to you i feel. i always wanted to raise anchor and never could, for one reason or another. and now time has come. I love you Edward/ D

Dec 20 Edward RE: end of conversation dear Dina how i love you. . .went home and smelled your pantys marveled at the smell. . .saw where they rested against you and were wet by you. . .looked at your picture your tufts of hair under light. . .under loup. . .i am mad with you Dina. . .i am in love mr. hasty

Tuesday Dec 21

Dec 21 Dina have some sleep

Edward, please have some sleep, what do you mean sending me email at 1 am. (at least thats what registered time says). Things are getting stronger, can you feel this. I feel a huge difference in vibes from yesterday. Anyway, we are approaching the end of our misery, we must take good care now. I love you, Edward/ D

Dina: hei, edward Dina: i hope you had some sleep Edward: i did one of the things about computers and computer times is that they are at best not working exactly as advertised Dina: why Edward: i did call you around 10 your time or so on my way out Dina: so, better Edward: not call type Edward: i always so love to read you Dina: guess if i was thinking about you right now Dina: i am translating a poem i wrote about 10 years ago Dina: a free translation, cause you have to read it Dina: its impressive Dina: the terms Dina: the ideas Dina: none akin to my reality then Edward: where did it all come from? Dina: i did not know Dina: until today, when one of the verses came suddenly to my mind Dina: a family of poets Dina: so i went to my archive Dina: will send it to you later Dina: as soon as i finish translation Edward: in the reading of pow wow i was reminded of 67 i had graduated and had this library of lit books Dina: and Edward: so i took them all down to the bookstore and sold them Edward: and with the money i bought a pair of hiking boots Dina: no books in our house, eh Dina: what do you do with the books you buy Edward: and that evening around midnight i went down to the train yards and caught the midnight freight for los angeles Edward: rite of passage for writers in california Edward: i read them Dina: and after that Edward: i keep them to impress visitors as to how bright i am Edward: and the scope of the wisdom i possess Dina: laugh Dina: what visitores Dina: visitors Edward: i have seriously a quintescential history in photographs of the hawaiian islands... Edward: i used it as a reference book for ideas and designs when i was there Edward: it cost about 150 and is the most extensive photographic history of the islands Dina: must be beautiful

Edward: did you know that the hawaiian islands are the original Sandwich Islands they are also known as the spice islands Edward: i also have a huge dictionary Dina: no, tasty. ahn Edward: i take great delight in following a word through all its multiple transformations Edward: other than that what i have are hundreds of pictures of me and the boys Dina: yes, i like this too, you know Dina: hundreds? Edward: that is the only thing i have taken as value Dina: why didnt you send me one Dina: too late now Edward: i didnt count them but it is over a ten year period while i was on the road Edward: and would see them for weekends and holidays Edward: wed go on adventures camping white water rafting fishing surfing Dina: i burned all my pictures Dina: sent you the only one i had Edward: one does not burn the pictures of joy Edward: ones children Dina: yes, in your case, you are right Edward: when i set out on this midnight trip i took all the things i had ever written and put them in a dumpster i felt free-er Dina: different experiences Edward: could always rewrite them Dina: whats is dumpster Edward: a trash bin Edward: i did leave everything everywhere over time Edward: was not interested in carrying things around the world Dina: thats what i mean by packing light Edward: when one has things one is required to have a place for them Edward: you are a girl after my own heart Edward: soul mind etc Edward: i know all about pretty much everything you have experienced Dina: edward, i sent you the poem Dina: roughly translated, no revision Edward: except of course the feathered talisman Dina: check your mail Edward: rok regga

Dec 21 Dina poem

My family a sketch on the horizon One by one, threads of a web Weaved, intertwined A family of poets Poets of the body, warriors of the soul Pain spilled, uncontained pleasures A cosmic minds soirée Loves intuited, meetings (long planned) definite paths D'où sort l'inconscient? The son asks me, (in french!) Where do you go I ask (to the son, awake) Harmonic accords Solitude finally healed Hearts touched, at the core (your spear touched me deeply) armours destroyed my family meets on the hour of the sun for the morning dew toast with the exact, clear gesture a spark of genious, of God of the wide consciousness, huge, all-including Family meetings, on the big father's birthday

Edward: well done Dina: what Edward: sounds familiar Dina: you see Edward: somewhat of us Dina: poet? Edward: yes destiny Dina: i never met a poet Dina: français? Edward: we were meant to be Edward: is was always have been Dina: spear touching deep? Edward: yes spear thrusting deep Edward: time made manifest Edward: history catching up with the present Edward: history becoming life Dina: you know well what spear is (laugh) Edward: blue print Dina: well, in the end, you've got some memories Edward: it would be a phallicy if i did not Dina: some books Dina: some objects Dina: things you love Dina: some life Dina: not all that chaos Dina: love youve loved Dina: you have more belongings than i do Edward: not chaos is the absence of love Dina: so we are not in chaos any longer Edward: i have a car Dina: i havent Edward: a get away car Dina: i walk Dina: run Dina: fly Edward: no Edward: you blow chaos to the wind Dina: whats get away Dina: we now have about 600 pages written Edward: it is a term used in bank robberies it is also a double entendre to bean a means of hitting the high road getting out of town Dina: oh, i see Edward: there is no stopping us Edward: we are like the wind blowing through sheeves of paper Dina: we could sell books Dina: poems of the day Edward: entreaties of thought and mind Edward: things of the heart Dina: shortly we will have a brick like ulisses Edward: our own odissey Edward: i slept with your underwear by my face last night Dina: sweet dreams? Edward: woke to it this morning Edward: put it over my nose and smelled it Edward: tasted it and smelled it Dina: what did you smell Edward: taste Edward: kissed it and put my tongue on it wetting it Dina: kidding Edward: i smelled you Edward: or at least the soap you use Dina: romantic Dina: sleeping with underwear Edward: a poem of separation Dina: i never believed much of this stuff about fetish Dina: but now i see it can happen Edward: nor do i Dina: things lovers do, ahn Edward: i think fettish is a general absurdity Dina: me too Edward: your underwear is a particular obsession Edward: a poor substitue Edward: but intended a loving erotic work of art Edward: and each part of it is appreciated Dina: txs Edward: i looked at your pubic hair last night Dina: did you eat it Edward: in light...studied it its transformations of colors Edward: i would not disturb the package they come in for fear of loosing a single hair Edward: some sort of jerusalem relic Edward: something from the Crusades Edward: romance is mad Edward: delightful Dina: oh, edward Dina: you are really cute Dina: delightful Dina: delicious Edward: if nothing else poetic Dina: toi aussi Dina: a poet Edward: i look forward to eating you Dina: oh my god, a poet Edward: the cherry on the top of ice cream Edward: studying you and all your parts Dina: and you are the creme de la creme Dina: i look forward to lay in bed silently and let you examine me Dina: light on Edward: touch you with my hand Dina: every mark Edward: my fingers learning all your parts Dina: spot Edward: of course light on windows open sunlit Edward: light of day Dina: yes Edward: spot scar blemish Edward: twist turn nook cranney Dina: hidden spot Dina: do you have many scars Edward: all of you Edward: no i am fairly unscathed Edward: i dont fall down a lot Edward: you Edward: did you have open heart surgery Dina: no, two Edward: appendix Edward: and Dina: one in the butt, i fall form the stairs in my penthouse (trendy scar, eh) Edward: i shall kiss it better Dina: the other sadder, i was having a sauna bath in my house in brasilia Dina: and placed myright arm against a pipe of very hot water Dina: this marriage burned me Edward: aiyyy Dina: but its light, almost unperceptible Dina: thats all Dina: no appendix Dina: no surgery Edward: i dont care Dina: no sickness Edward: neither have i Dina: i have been blessed Dina: i was sick once, 4 years ago Dina: thyroiditis Dina: autoimmune disease Edward: i will have to examine you closely Dina: but to contest medicine, i got completely healed a year ago Dina: dont use any medicine Dina: rarely a headache Edward: you know when i started university i was pre med Edward: i am quite capable of giving you an examinination Dina: yes, i have great interest in medical sciences you know Dina: but opted for art Dina: so do it Dina: no dsts Dina: either Dina: std, i mean Edward: dsts? Edward: what is that Dina: dst in portuguese std english sexually transmitted disease Edward: i think i will give you a pelvic exam Dina: ok Edward: i am interested in your inner workings Dina: no tools, please, no specks Dina: only finger, tongue, cock Edward: well that is good Edward: no just with fingers Edward: and maybe close visual inspection Edward: you know it is important to use the tongue to taste that everything is all right Dina: is it a beautiful sight, do you think Edward: oh yes Dina: edward, our repertoire is getting more and more silly Edward: especially with you Edward: yes i know Edward: i am amusing a thought Edward: tell me, back to your writings Edward: how was dinner Dina: did you write a lot after la train Dina: dinner was boring Dina: but i had a good time, relaxed, told a friend about a cyber boyfriend i should meet promptly Edward: was your mother sedated enough Dina: yes, sad Edward: romance Dina: but she behaved well, ate a lot of sweets Edward: good and your brother and sis Dina: i didnt eat a thing Dina: lie, one kiwi Edward: and you what did you eat after you ate Edward: no to sit at dinner and play with a kiwi Dina: my brother tries to be loving, giving attention to mom Dina: my sis, pardon me is a s... Dina: b... Edward: trying is better than not Dina: i asked her to stay with mom this afternoon, so that i can go to the doctor but she's not available Edward: i have about 5 minutes or so here Dina: explained above with all letters slut, bitch Dina: good, for i have to go too Edward: are you going to keep your appointment this afternoon Dina: will you call after 5 Dina: yes, i want to Edward: yes Dina: i want very much to see my homeopath Dina: so i will go anyway and pray Dina: that everything will be alright Edward: everything will be all right Dina: ok, my love Edward: it is doubt that leads to tripping Dina: txs for calling before i had to leave Dina: wilcommen Edward: je taime Dina: ich liebe dich Dina: any ohevet otcha Edward: moi aussi Dina: te amo Edward: ti amo Edward: gam ken Dina: i love you Edward: i love you to Dina: the only thing you'll ever learn Dina: its just to love Dina: and be loved Dina: in return Edward: easy to learn this Edward: hard to find Edward: so completely Dina: bye, my love Dina: see you later Edward: bye Edward: will wait for you

Dec 21 Dina divorce

Edward, my love, you wouldnt guess what just happened. i left the doctor's cabinet, dropped by the pharmacy to order my remedy and as my nephew was taking care of mom i decided to walk home ( i forgot to tell you but homeopathy for me is a light, quick form of therapy, emotional support) and then... i suddenly met my former husband Marcos in the street!!!!! he lives in a city 800 mi from here! and it was not my regular route nor time!!! so we exchanged half a dozen words, i grabbed his upper left arm with my right hand and divorced him instantly. the whole thing took no more than 2 minutes and left me trembling all over, as i walked home in the rain under my green umbrella. Edward, we are inside a circle of magic. Happy solstice, my love

Dina: hei, edward, i just got in Edward: what are the chances that you should just get in Edward: how are you are you well Dina: well, we had an appointment, good chance Edward: did your analysis go well Dina: what do you think Dina: after the most recent news Edward: well yes bien sur pour qua non Edward: what was the most recent Dina: didnt you read the email i sent you a minute ago Edward: moment Edward: i have chills Edward: goose bumps Dina: imagine me Edward: electricity leaving my body Edward: wow Dina: after six years of resented silence Edward: most etrange Edward: what are the odds Dina: none Dina: 0,0000001% Dina: magic Edward: magique Dina: i still cant believe it Edward: bizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzare Edward: we are magic dina Dina: life is really surprising Edward: dont worry just flow Edward: understatement Dina: yes, my love, we are Edward: yes get the raft out and float down stream Dina: much more than we could ever guess Edward: white water ahead Dina: clodless skies Dina: cloudless Edward: yes being a rationalist i dont believe in any of this Dina: netheir do i (laugh) Edward: mais one has to say mais Dina: where is the rationalist in you? asleep Edward: i feel like don juan ala castanades Edward: on hold Edward: there's someone else in his place Edward: in abeyance Edward: enjoying life Edward: observing from his office Edward: yes it is i Edward: edouard Edward: edouard in love Edward: edouard, cute Edward: the philosophic romantic Dina: naturalist Dina: chaotic Edward: yes pragmatic Edward: chaos Dina: the best lover Edward: non catagorizable result Dina: the best warlock Dina: most powerful Edward: you are the the best wife Dina: with his multidimensional laser Edward: yes the proof is in the magic Dina: never gets lost Edward: never lost Dina: i feel years lighter Dina: he was with a woman, probably his wife Edward: we are magic dina Dina: i felt young Edward: figures of light Edward: dancing Edward: in love Edward: beautiful Edward: bright-eyed Edward: on the wave Dina: enlightened Dina: with my edward by my side Edward: bouyed high above the beach Edward: i love you dina Dina: i love you edward Edward: so marry me Edward: let us be wed Dina Edward: i do Edward: in each other arms married Dina: immediately Edward: cleaved to one another Edward: less than a second to celebrate our marriage in heavens Edward: leaving Edward: for the millionth time Edward: married at moment Dina: who is leaving Dina: for the millionth time Edward: only you dina only me Edward: all there ever was all there will ever be Dina: we dont need anything else, do we Dina: with all this energy Edward: no we are married Dina: confirmed by the universe Edward: blessed by the universe Edward: blessed by existence Dina: oh edward Edward: oh dina i love you Edward: embrace you while you are on the phone Dina: edward, im one with you Edward: yes Dina: im not on the phone Edward: god but i love you Dina: im on cybercosmicmagiclovespace with you Edward: a month and you have made me yours Dina: floating with you Edward: yours before i met you Dina: havent we met? Edward: a whole existence and a month Edward: many times Edward: dawn Edward: morning becomes you Edward: such a long time Edward: a family of poets Edward: how could i have existed without you Dina: and me Edward: without making love to you Edward: apeaking to you Dina: guess me Edward: embracing you Edward: in you Dina: mouth sealed without you Edward: fucking you Edward: holding you Dina: hold me my love Edward: coming with you Dina: surround me with your magic energy Edward: i embrace you hold my arms under your arms Dina: make love to me Edward: hold your breasts tight against me Dina: im free Edward: pull your face next to me Dina: kiss you Edward: kiss your lips your mouth Edward: free Dina: free Edward: come dantz mit me Dina: edward, i kiss you passionately Edward: open your mouth and let me fill your mouth with me Edward: dancing, singing, floating Dina: celebration all over Edward: electric Edward: marriage Dina: as i kiss you the world around us melts Edward: i cannot imagine your kiss Dina: in a foggy sea of energy Dina: cant you Edward: cannot imagine the consciousness Dina: hot Dina: sweet Dina: passionate Edward: the bliss the love the passion Dina: wouldnt let you go Dina: until we are brethless Dina: and then start again Edward: spread your mouth and let my tongue slip over your lips and touch your tongue Dina: then let you ride across my body Edward: surf you Edward: lay on you Dina: naked body, naked soul Edward: slip my cock in you Edward: fuck you Dina: oh, edward, cunt throbbing instantly Edward: god ever waiting Edward: wet Dina: yes wet for you Edward: let me put my cock in you Dina: come inside me my love Edward: spread your labia and let me enter you Edward: be one with me Dina: oh, edward Edward: i cant wait any longer Edward: in you cunt cock head shaft Edward: hot god i love you dina Edward: squeeze me Edward: i feel you and yet yearn for much more Edward: squeeze me in you Dina: squeeze me edward Dina: je taime edouard Edward: put my hands on your ass fuck me dina i love you Edward: feel the soft cheeks of your ass Edward: feel your cunt slammed against me Dina: yes, im sucking you Edward: feel your pubic hairs against mine Dina: pressing you groin to groin Edward: over and over again i fuck you Edward: tits to chest Edward: mouth in mouth Edward: fuck you in you in you over and over again Dina: fuck me edward Edward: nipples hard Edward: clit hard erect Dina: touch me Edward: make love to me dina fuck me Edward: oh hot and wet dina Dina: touch my clit Edward: in and out Dina: fuck me my love Edward: hands on breast fingers and thumb nipple between Dina: oh god Edward: hold your clit in between my fingers tease touch twirl Edward: wet carressing Dina: oh god, i love this Edward: stroking Dina: i love you Edward: marking you Edward: slip my hands in the crack of your cunt Dina: oh edward, im quick today Dina: im coming my love Dina: cant help it Edward: three fingers cock in cunt Edward: i love you dina come i love when you come Dina: oh edward, make me come Edward: it pleases me come dina come Edward: i love you oh come dina spread your legs Dina: oh, edward, my love, edward, oh god, edward Edward: feel me in you hard thick full come dina Edward: i love you oh come dina fuck me Dina: wave upon wave of violent throbbing around you Edward: oh hard against me dina Edward: suck me i love you fuck me dina come Edward: come wave on wave come dina i love you Dina: oh, edward Edward: scream come suck me fuck me kiss me fuck me Dina: heat spreads all around me Edward: oh come dina Dina: up to my head Edward: wet hot coming Dina: body throbbing Dina: down to my feet im trembling all over Edward: stomach tits Edward: trembling throbbing Dina: in silence Edward: cunt chin knees legs feet Dina: wrapped in you Edward: holding you Dina: married to you Edward: wife Dina: oh my love support me as i tremble you inside me Dina: hold me Dina: watch me Dina: see my whole body sparkle Edward: strength surrounds you arms muscles hands embrace you Edward: aglow with light Dina: open all my chakras to you at once Dina: trembling awake Edward: wet with love Edward: breast in mouth Dina: heart chakra widely open Dina: cunt in cock Dina: heart to heart Dina: soul to soul Dina: belly to belly Edward: cock to cunt Edward: face to face Edward: smile to smile Dina: oh, edward, im drowned in swaet Dina: sweat Edward: eye to eye Edward: sweet sweat Edward: thou art Edward: wow Edward: would that i could kiss taste it Dina: true marriage Edward: lick it Dina: sacred Dina: lick me Dina: feel me Edward: marriage buy cyber Edward: let me hold you Edward: kiss you Edward: marriage electric Dina: sorry i was that quick Dina: it was so powerful Edward: lovely that you are quick Edward: i can see you trembling Dina: im calmer now Edward: feel your body in wave of orgasm Edward: feel your mouth on mine Dina: please stay inside me for a while Edward: yes quiet rest be calm Dina: moment Edward: let me feel you Dina: always Edward: thick hard for you always Edward: the memory of you Dina: oh, edward Edward: my cock rises to you Dina: you dont need a memoy Edward: you command it Dina: you have me Dina: heart soul eye cunt Dina: lips mouth nose breast clit Edward: i love to kiss you Edward: love to be in you Edward: cunt and cock Dina: oh my god, throbbing again Edward: wet tight hot Dina: sucking you Edward: thick hard in you dina Dina: pressing your cock Edward: come with me suck me fuck me Edward: cock cunt one Dina: fuck me edward Dina: i love you hot throbbing Edward: fuck me dina fuck me come dina Dina: fuck me fill me with you Dina: come with me my love Edward: smell wet hot flesh Dina: flood me with your sweet juices Edward: i come in you dina reach deep within you Dina: bless me with your semen Edward: stab you deep to the center of you come all over you Edward: flood your cervic with semen Dina: fill your mouth with me Edward: wet tongue taste you Edward: i drink from you Edward: dina fuck you dina in you cock deep within you dina Edward: fuck me dina fuck me Dina: fuck me edward Edward: come dina throb around me Dina: to my core Edward: hold me in and out the length of my cock Dina: deep inside me Dina: oh, ed Edward: tip core length deep with in you Edward: deep to the center of dina Dina: oh edward, dont stop Edward: i fuck you Edward: deeply fuck you Edward: in and out hard over and over again Dina: oh, god Edward: the length of me in and out till the tip and then back again Edward: oh dina come come with me let me make you come Dina: oh, edward, im throbbing so hard Dina: come with me my love Edward: i love you dina fill me with your cunt Dina: fill me with your cock Edward: your hot love oh dina come with me dina Edward: my love Dina: i love you edward Dina: sooo much Edward: oh dina cock deep within your mouth on mine Dina: cant tell Dina: feel Dina: bless Edward: tits hard against my chest oh dina fuck me Edward: come dina come Edward: come with me my love Edward: raise your cunt against me Dina: i sway with you Dina: float with you Dina: one with you Edward: im coming dina deep within you Edward: dripping with semen Dina: yes, edward Edward: oh dina come come come i love you come within you Dina: wet to wet Edward: come oh dina fuck me fuck me Dina: seed to egg Edward: kiss me come dina come Edward: so wet so wet dina hot come fill me with you Dina: fertilized by love Edward: fill me with your wet cunt fill me dina with you Dina: oh edward Edward: fuck me dina i love you Dina: i love you Edward: oh dina hold me fuck me Edward: put your cunt against me kiss me Edward: rub your breasts and teats against me hold my ass with your hand Edward: fuck me dina Dina: i kiss you till im breathless Dina: fuck me Dina: tongue in mouth Edward: spread your legs wet Edward: cock in cunt Edward: both throbbing Edward: my hand on you fingers in you cock in you Edward: hot cunt wet fingers cock cunt Edward: sealed by you Edward: clit all of you ass Edward: fingers fucking you all Dina: oh god Edward: legs apart thighs wet Edward: fuck me dina i am going to come all over you Dina: cant type just feel Edward: come, my love Edward: belly against me back arched tits against me Edward: fuck me dina my fingers are in you my cock is in you Edward: my semen is coming out of me in waves Dina: edward, lets come together Edward: hot sticky covering you Edward: lining the inside of you Edward: come dina come Dina: im coming my love Edward: move on me hold my cock with you Edward: suck me fuck me oh come dina i love when you come Dina: oh edward Dina: im blessed when you come Edward: you please me when you come oh come dina i am in love with you love you have always loved you Dina: oh edward Edward: you please me speak to me when you come your body speaks to me your cunt dances with me Dina: i've been journeying for so long always in love with you Edward: bows and cums Edward: oh dina marry me fuck me be wife to me Dina: i am Edward: oh dina Dina: oh edward Dina: suck me hold me embrace me Edward: let me hold you wet hot trembling Dina: embrace me my love, hold me tight Edward: what a lovely cunt you are Dina: never let me go Edward: so loving Dina: hold me kiss me Dina: let me rest in your arms Edward: mouths locked cunt and cocked locked Dina: make me sleep for a while Edward: bodies locked Edward: rest in my arms Edward: let your body go Dina: so good to sleep with you Edward: release Dina: make me sleep for hours Edward: yes sleep Dina: make me rest Edward: embraced Edward: relax Dina: peace Edward: enjoy Dina: float Edward: come to beach end of wave Edward: ashore eden Dina: i want to dive in st aug sea Dina: swim Dina: how is the sea there Edward: calm Dina: rough Dina: open Edward: i want to dive in the sea of dina Dina: bay Edward: the sea during the hurricaines was rough Dina: i need so badly to be into the sea Edward: generally calm Dina: clean myself Edward: beach Edward: open sea Edward: bay Edward: not rough Dina: oh, nice Edward: clear waters Edward: but cold right now Dina: i know Edward: not like hawaii Edward: could i adventure or impossible Dina: freezing Edward: usually the water is warm Edward: yes freezing Dina: even in winter? Edward: perhaps you will not want to leave our bed Edward: sometimes Dina: just for a moment Edward: the water is warm Dina: come with me Dina: we will figure how to do everything Edward: ok Dina: just wondering Dina: letting mind flow Edward: hand and hand we run through the surf Edward: mind flow Dina: i live by the ocean havent beeen to the beach for more than 2 years Edward: mind always flows with you dina Dina: i love to flow Edward: it is all surfing Dina: love to swim Dina: love to dive deeply Edward: all flow Edward: jump on waves Edward: let them pass Edward: surf to the beach Edward: love to dive beneath the waves and pull your panties off Edward: to the surface Edward: slip my fingers between your legs and smile Edward: to your hot homewelcoming arms Edward: i surf well sans board Edward: instinct for the waves Edward: grew up in southern california Edward: malibu Dina: i dont surf but can follow a wave if its not too rough Dina: but i can swim very well Edward: i am sure you are quite the athelete Dina: you bet Edward: i love you wet Dina: edward, listen Dina: i want to give mom some atention today Dina: have diner with her Dina: watch tv Dina: so ill talk with you tomorrow Dina: yes, will you be sad without me Edward: how could i not be Dina: but dont, my love Dina: i will be all yours in a little while Dina: and tomorrow will be here for the whole afternoon Dina: i had quite a day today Edward: no i shall be pleased with the thought of you Dina: also need some rest Edward: extraordinary Edward: sleep well Dina: tomorrow is my last day at the gym Edward: think of me if you can Dina: last run Dina: then free Dina: i wont stop thinking of you for a minute Edward: run to me Dina: you are inside me Dina: always Dina: i carry you with me, my lucky charm Edward: you make me smile Dina: you make me tremble Dina: love edward Edward: i love you, dina

Dec 21 Edward j’embrace toi so Dina it is late and i am typing to air . . .wish you were here. . .good morning . . .arise my love and be my love . . .thinking of you. . .dreaming of you would that i could embrace you in the morning as you rise open me see me. . .i love you Dina. . .would kiss you hold you in my arms. . .marry you in body and soul. . .hold you . . .till i speak with you. . .love Edward j'embrace toi.

Wednesday Dec 22

Dec 22 Dina vacaciones

That's it, my love. I'm free. I ran about 800 mi this year ( 3 times a week ) and no lesions. Closed the year at 8mph and felt my body quite strong and prepared. Our day is coming closer and closer. Love you, Edward/ D

Dec 22 Dina cosmic license

Greetings Dina --

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, December 22:

Move closer to the person, thing or state that you desire. For the next month, you have cosmic license to pursue your dream by any reasonable method. You're lucky to approach the New Year with such clarity.

Dina: good morning edward Dina: i sent you email 1 minute ago Edward: i read one a few minutes ago Edward: that another one Edward: eight hundred miles injury free Dina: good, ahn Dina: last year i ran about 1000mi but spent 30% of the time injured Dina: each time a month without training Edward: speaking of magic Dina: what Edward: last night suddenly there came upon the screen a 90 minute documentary on string theory Dina: funny Edward: i of course watched intently wanting to be able to unify both the einsteinian and the quantum Dina: you know i was trying to send you that article but it is from new scientist and they dont allow copying Edward: which i now can Dina: so tell me Edward: there are four forces in the universe initially probably one at the time of the big bang Edward: they are gravity...the force that holds the nucleas together and two others Edward: sorry havent thought about it since last night Dina: thought about what Edward: gravity=god Edward: so in 84 the theory of everything was presented in oxford university Edward: there is a weak atraction Edward: and a tendency for 2 particles to repel Edward: actuallly there are six dimensions Edward: and attract Edward: sub sub subbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb atomically there are these structures of non material particles Edward: this tendency to repel make them keep a part and perform the same acts even if they are very distant one form another Edward: and they are strings of energy moving like some strange sub oceanic being Dina: and i know of 10 dimensions but 6 of them curled up Edward: creating the behavior of strings particular behaviors that give rise to the universe as we know it Edward: well they talked about many dimensions twenty or so but it is six that are significant to it all Dina: its interesting that, although difficult to imagine due to our daily experience of the world, these theories many times affirm spiritual knowledge Dina: and things we can intuit Edward: yes i have no problem with it all Edward: so god is what is Edward: the way that it is Edward: because thats how it is and that is only how it could be Dina: talking about a strange suboceanic being there was this book and film im trying to remember the name ah, solaris Dina: did you see it Dina Edward: what was it about Dina: i was interested in that gigantic mind, fluid Dina: so, let me tell you Dina: its about an astronaut who goes to a space station near solaris, a planet Dina: and there is this "mind" like an ocean that controls everything Dina: 2 versions Dina: the best one is old, directed by andrei tarkovsky Dina: i couldnt find in dvd or video, but we should try Dina: and the newest is with george clooney Dina: so so, not so good but yet veeery interesting Dina: deals with illusions, emotions, ideas very good Edward: so they have proved the unified field theory but the physicists say it can never be demonstrated by experiment Dina: the book is by stanilas lem or something like this, a russian sci- fi writer Edward: yes, i know that Edward: and though it is perfectly all right physics must be observable or demonstrateable Edward: though the mathematics of the thing equal each other Edward: but they are trying to get proof because if 2 theories cant unify than they are flawed Edward: but that was the point they do unify Edward: mathematically it is proven saw the equations Edward: both sides had to add up to 486 and they did Edward: but some ass hole wanted to put sand in the gears Dina: but we would like to understand at common thinking level Dina: who, what sand Edward: fat chance Dina: what did he say Edward: it is enough to say that there is a lot going on that you will never see or understand Edward: ein chadash tachat hashemesh Dina: but then you can understand at intuition level Edward: he said that even though the theory was proven mathematically it was not going to be accepted by him until he could observe Edward: you can feel it in one way or another cause in fact there is no magic Dina: of course you can we are connected Dina: but magic permeates our lives anyway Dina: the more open you are the more it flows through you Edward: magic is just a way of not knowing Dina: so we do observe it Edward: there is a correlation between right action and right being Dina: but not in a recognized scientific language Edward: that when one is in sync magic happens think of something it happens Dina: cause scientist are very open minded and very limited at the same time Edward: talk about something voila Edward: and thought laws they do obey string theory and quantum Dina: the more i am in touch with the center the more magic happens Edward: so, what is the center Dina: is a connection to another level of knowing Edward: the center is everywhere Edward: that is there Dina: yes, everywhere Edward: it is a state of consciousness Dina: there is a term not scientific at all but describes this well Dina: the "soul of the world" Edward: it is a place of magic awe Edward: the soul of existence Edward: satori Edward: consciousness Edward: being Dina: and our minds, conscious thought is feeding it all the time Dina: or being fed by it Dina: a perpetual feedback Edward: so there you have it synchro Edward: we are there Edward: all you can do is experience it Dina: no formulas, ahn Edward: when you submerge yourself in water you get wet Edward: you bring nothing to the water Dina: yet you ditrub it, change the state which reflects everywhere Dina: disturb Edward: not in perfect being Edward: there is no doing only being Edward: only surfing Edward: you and i experience perfect being with each other Dina: yes Dina: light happens magic happens Dina: more and more harmonic everytime Dina: as we learn do deal with the energy Edward: sub harmonic particles Edward: love is energy Edward: the faster the energy passes between us the greater the gravitational attraction Edward: and when you can experience this theory, now thats another story Dina: i never did like we do now Dina: never got to this point Edward: we are experiencing this theory Edward: spread your legs and i will take you to another point Edward: a state of no mind only being Dina: ok, thats all you think about Dina: laugh but not laugh Dina: in port thats a funny saying "he only thinks about "it" Dina: yeah, thats not funny my love Dina: cause making love is the top of the top of energy dealing Edward: it was a thought that there are so many more powerful experiences then the poor bastard physicists who came up with the theory Dina: give them a mate, no Edward: they were jewish nebishes and i had had the thought that they would do well to penetrate themselves to fathom more greatly it all Edward: more practice less mind exploring Edward: the metaphor of you came to mind Edward: the spreading of legs the opening of the gates of heaven Edward: it was not a joke but a thought Dina: i was not joking either Edward: that condensed the meaning of the linear physicist with the poet Edward: how could we get to the point we are now without experiencing sex/love Dina: yes, cause both touch truth, dont they Edward: because mind for you and the opening of mind Edward: for us is greater than the opening of body Edward: the two together is very heavy Dina: wait until we open the body Dina: heavy? Edward: pure light? Edward: profound Edward: 60's expression Dina: ah, better Dina: you have to teach me some expressions Edward: this is very pure between you and i Edward: that is why it is so compelling Dina: essentila i should say Dina: essential Dina: spreading around like waves Edward: yes you are very essential to me Dina: and you to me Edward: i cant imagine life without you anymore Edward: it gets all fuzzy if i try Edward: but if i think of you and me everything is very clear Dina: a clera path Dina: clear path Edward: sex and love for you and i seems one a reflection of the other Dina: everywhere i look i find evidence of us Dina: in all languages of magic Edward: do not equate me with trite cliches of how that is all men ever think about Dina: and in pratical, daily life too Edward: yeh like the baking of challah Edward: i am never trite there is always meaning behind whatever i do Dina: do i equal you to cliches, i dont get you Dina: me too Edward: the part of the portugese expression you quoted...that is all you ever think about Edward: full of meaning and reading the world through poetic metaphore Dina: oh, edward Edward: oh dina what Dina: you know i like to tease you sometimes or else you get too solemn Edward: how can i know Dina: and i get afraid of all the seriousness Dina: and importance Edward: teasing is like a razors edge Edward: you are important Dina: its my way of dealing with it while some level of doubt though tiny still persists Dina: until next tuesday, i mean Edward: you doubt oh my dina Dina: no, edward, its not that Dina: i dont doubt Dina: in my heart Edward: no no not in your heart you dont doubt Dina: but i cant ignore a slight 0,00000001% possibility or else i can suffer tremendously, get me Edward: yes good out Dina: we climbed so high Edward: no suffering allowed Edward: i will not cut you so you fall Edward: cut your rope that is teathered to me Dina: i know, i hope Dina: we are mountain climbing Edward: partners Edward: but until tuesady it is in a way a matter of faith Edward: i will not let you fall Dina: yes interesting Edward: proof Dina: cyber theory vs reality Edward: unification Dina: we still have to prove the thory, the perfect beuaty of our equation Dina: will the two quantities equal each other Edward: theory, beauty, equation Dina: like string theory Edward: probably Edward: the theory is beautiful, strong, evident Edward: but yet unproven Dina: yes that is what i am refering to Edward: no string theory has been proven Edward: but yet it is there Edward: like us Dina: licky us we will have proof within 6 days Dina: lucky Edward: that is why i used the metaphor of the string theory to express the conflict between cyber vs real Edward: where did you go Dina: did you know that our birthdays, although different dates,always fall in the same day of the week Edward: cyber hic cup Edward: whats hic cup Dina: edward, make it shorter Dina: or else i think you are not there Dina: edward? Edward: your status is busy Dina: yes, so that no one will disturb us Dina: i always get this status when you come on line Dina: but it does not disturb us Edward: where are you Edward: why did you stop the flow Dina: edward? Dina: edward? Dina: you have been away for 5 min already Edward: i am here where have you been Edward: can you hear me Edward: dina are you there? Dina: i've been here all the time Dina: what is the problem with busy status Dina: we have been like this all the time, didnt you notice Edward: nothing from you Dina: what do you mean Edward: yes it annoys me Dina: what Edward: no typing no dina is typing Dina: but i was here all the time Edward: no receipt of information from web messenger Dina: answer me directly Edward: yes i understand that Dina: or else i will not know Edward: do you hear me now Edward: i would type and you would not respond Dina: when Dina: yes i hear you now Dina: the last thing i read was hic cup Edward: so how was your evening with your mother Edward: did i lose something Dina: bah, lost case Edward: sorry Dina: good intentions Edward: what happened Dina: i gave up in a way, cause Dina: do you see, im not in busy state my nephew keeps sending me messages Dina: so, i gave up stuffing her with medicine, cause in fact she has a very real motif to keep crying all the time, doesnt she Dina: so i decided to let her cry and i will try to be patient Dina: cause for the psy is only a higher dose Edward: jean d'arc Dina: maybe when im gone things will settle down Dina: anyway i received today some encouraging from family Dina: family license to get a life, so to say Edward: well i suppose you deserve one Edward: after all even dina has a right to be happy Dina: license or no license i would anyway, but with license and encouragement better, no Dina: cause people who license me will have some worsening in their lives quality, no Edward: it is called balance Dina: yes, but when i leave balance will disappear for a while, for really situation here is quite unbalanced Edward: so give us a hug and a kiss Dina: yes, my love Edward: you are not a nurse or a psychiatrist Dina: welcome me in your arms Edward: your mother is not your charge Edward: you are always welcome in my arms Edward: i am dry from this track in the desert of your abscence Dina: well, if she has been to some level im putting and end to this mission and detaching form it Edward: yes come with me Edward: take a moment and rebirth dina to her life Edward: sometimes even if you have a mission you have to recognize when your role is over Edward: too much energy in all these strings of attachment Edward: even if the situation persists it has to go on without you Edward: you have to cut cords Dina: i did this once before, now its the second event Dina: not with mom, another situation Dina: also painful Edward: im curious Dina: you wouldnt believe how many ceremonies i did to cut cords from my mother Dina: the other situation was with this guy i already told you about Dina: i loved him very much Dina: he was always in need Dina: i was always there for him Dina: but he was refusing to go on with his life Dina: make the necessary changes Dina: it took me 10 years Dina: until the day i felt my mission was over and left Dina: it was very painful Dina: i did love him very much Dina: but couldnt stay any longer Dina: he still tried to keep me Dina: but i was firm and said no, though suffering Dina: and it was a good thing i did, even for himself Edward: recently? Dina: oh, no Edward: amazing with marcos yesterday Dina: i started to cut from him when i met percy 10 years ago Dina: and our last goodbye was about 2 years ago Edward: ghosts Dina: i hired him to design my packages Dina: and he made my life impossible with this, and it was the last drop Dina: edward, my love Dina: i have nothing to clear at the moment Dina: im perfectly free Edward: sounds like goodbye Dina: balanced Dina: and available for you Dina: maybe thats why we havent met before Dina: goodbye from whom Dina: edward my love...i have to go now mom is calling and i have to eat Dina: not a stone in our path, believe me Edward: something like that Edward: i didnt say that Dina: i was a good daughter today Dina: got patient Dina: cooked for mom Edward: i was finishing your sentence...though it was not your sentence Dina: and im free now Dina: free to type for the next how many hours you want Dina: free to travel Dina: free to relocate Edward: kom dantz mit me Dina: i am there already Dina: dancing with you Dina: cheek to cheek Dina: chest to tits Dina: leg to leg Edward: i slept with your panties again Dina: heart to heart Edward: woke to you on my face Dina: fetishist Edward: the smell of you Edward: by my pillow Edward: you are my fettish Dina: does the smell remain for so long? Edward: if it were your cunt it would be to my preference Edward: i am smelling every scintilla out of it Edward: smells like soap Edward: smells like your smell Dina: you know Edward: it is your form Dina: today i said goodbye to all my vendors Edward: how petite you are Dina: i closed the shop Edward: im going to cry Dina: cry why Dina: im closing the bar here Edward: the goodbye to the vendors Edward: change is always a fucking pain in the ass Dina: are you one of them Edward: pruning Dina: selling me love Edward: cynic Dina: i dont feel this like a pain in the ass Dina: more like liberation Dina: im not cynic Dina: only ironic sometimes Edward: selling you love... Dina: kidding, edward, pleaaaasse Edward: yes leaving is always liberation Dina: hei, edward, say you love me Edward: i remember selling hawaii Edward: after ten years Dina: was it painful Edward: ani ohev otach Edward: no not painful at all Edward: good to go Edward: free Dina: i had a real shop and factory for 8 years Dina: and it was really painful then to close Edward: sorry Dina: i was left with lots of stock and raw material Edward: let us bring some joy into your life Dina: and that shop was really my life then Dina: it took me 10 years to recover Dina: i had 4 shops Edward: what did you make Dina: so i wasnt strong enough to sell the whole business cause i was emotionally weak by then Dina: so i started to close stores one by one Edward: oh dina dina dina Dina: i designed, manufactured and sold furniture Dina: high tech furniture Edward: come and sit in my lap and let me put my arms around you Dina: i was the one to introduce high tech style in brazil Edward: mmmmmm Edward: sounds very interesting Dina: and was quite famous for that Dina: at a point i decided to burn my portfolio Dina: it took me 4 hours to do so Edward: sounds familiar Dina: it was really fat, gros Dina: the name of my shop was "polen" Dina: man, it was hard to get pass polen Dina: i got quite lost Dina: this was in 87 Dina: but now i am perfectly satisfied with clipfit Dina: clipfit.com Edward: i hope you will be perfectly satisfied with me Dina: i hope i will Dina: i know i will Dina: hope you will too Edward: what does it matter if you are not Dina: i hope i will pass your scrutiny test Edward: there is nothing i can do about it Edward: you will either like me or you will not Dina: about what Edward: i know you already love me Dina: are you that indifferent to this (kidding) Dina: i hope my cunt will get wet Edward: oh i assure you of that Edward: one touch Dina: you know, premenopause is a pandoras box Edward: one nuzzle Dina: whats nuzzle Edward: to put ones lips on ones neck Dina: although when i tell you im wet and throbbin its a fact, not a figure of speech or erotic literature Edward: between the shoulder and the jaw Dina: yes, my love live me a mark there Dina: suck me hard Edward: a nuzzle is a soft brushing of the lips Dina: i already feel goose bumps Edward: i will touch your breast when meet Dina: i dont doubt this a bit Edward: and you will be wet instantly Dina: although ive been 6 years without sex, you know that Edward: its a lot Edward: lightly touch your nipple with the tips of my fingers Dina: you said you would be formal Edward: yes after i say hello Edward: though i will have to kiss you on your cheek in the manner of friends in Paris Dina: would you recognize me if i entered the hotel and you were already there Dina: in the lobby Dina: waiting Edward: well if you look like picture you sent me yes Dina: the last picture is quite faithful Edward: this annimated being Dina: yes Edward: yes so you would be unmistakable Dina: bit of a clown when nervous Edward: i see Edward: but i know something of that Dina: oh, my god Edward: i can anticipate it Dina: i am nervous already Edward: i hope you are this way when making love Edward: high energy Dina: well, i used to be, no (laugh) Dina: with you i am an explosion of energy Edward: i will be quite content with you Dina: and this thing about mutual orgasm Dina: you know, i never really experienced that Edward: tis the norm no Dina: although i made love with many partners Edward: hundreds thousands Dina: oh, o, not that much Edward: hoards Dina: a few Edward: the roman empire Dina: 2 husbands Dina: 1 almost tantric lover Dina: and some maybe 10 more maximum Edward: but climaxing together is not the usual Dina: im not that promiscuos Dina: never was Edward: well, i can imagine Dina: no one ever told me of really experiencing it, my girlfriends included Edward: what Dina: mutual orgasm Edward: sorry bunch of lovers Dina: for us on cyber it it so easy Edward: you have been discussing us with girlfriends Edward: it is funny how every time we make love i feel different Dina: oh, no, not sex Dina: im reserved about this Edward: no when i make love to you on cyber it is as i make love... Edward: i never talk about sex Edward: it is a description of event Edward: an event i am familiar with Dina: well, what i describe to you are things i did Edward: making love is to be taken slow Dina: i told you already everything the gives me pleasure normally Edward: touch movement consciousness Dina: but yet what i will really feel with you i expect to be quite different Dina: better Edward: form colour texture Dina: cause i trust you to be a splendorous lover Dina: i know you are Edward: and you a splendorous object of my love Dina: and i know all my previous experience will be quite pale in front of wht i will feel Edward: it has been a while since i have made love Edward: not interested in anyone Dina: cause a huge love and a deep sexual relationship were never in the same event Edward: katherine the sad last Dina: so we are both virgins in a way Edward: yeh for me neither dina Dina: oh edward Dina: i move me so Edward: yes Dina: i can hardly breath Dina: you move me so, i mean Edward: let me cover your mouth with mine Dina: the love i feel for you is huge indeed Dina: awesome Dina: allincluding Edward: yeh i can feel it Edward: my cock has arisen Dina: and im glad you could receive it, support it return it Edward: waiting like some faithful dog to go fetch Edward: dina it is you Edward: whatever you are you effect me this way Edward: and you me Edward: a heat, yet ice cold in the chest Edward: cant describe this sensation accurately Edward: a void yet fulfilling Edward: and absence though present Dina: yes i like that Dina: i long for you too Edward: a pain though pleasure Edward: ache Dina: oh, edward Edward: miss you Dina: i miss you too Edward: come dina let me make love to you Edward: hold you come in you Edward: embrace quietly Edward: interlocked in you Edward: make us one Edward: summer afternoon in rio Edward: let me slip into you Dina: yes, raining Edward: slip between you Dina: i open my legs for you Edward: naked Edward: wet Dina: wet Dina: throbbing Dina: preparing Dina: anticipating Edward: hot wet throbbing my cock slides into you Dina: oh edward Edward: head first slowly slipping into you till you have covered him Edward: thick cock trunk slips into your canal tight against me Edward: moving against me Edward: mouth open whispering i love you Edward: hand on breast nipple in mouth Edward: tit hard erect wet with my suckling Edward: hard with my touching Edward: the smell of you Edward: your hard throbbing muscular cunt wet against me Dina: oh, edward, wait a moment please Edward: back arched hips pressing you deep with in me Dina: i have to attend to a situatiom here be back in a moment Edward: ok Dina: sorry, my love Edward: yes my love Dina: are you there Edward: hard Edward: yes hard Edward: erect Edward: wet throbbing Edward: dripping semen already Dina: oh, my love Edward: spread your legs wider dina spread your cunt hot wet Dina: come inside me Edward: kiss me tell me you love me Dina: i love you edward Edward: let me come in you i love you dina Dina: i love you edward Dina: oh edward Edward: i love you dina Edward: oh dina Dina: how i long to make love to you with silence surrounding us Dina: quiet light Dina: only you and i dancing around the universe Dina: not a sound but our own love moanings Dina: you holding me in your arms Edward: kiss your mouth sweet wet Edward: your hair with my face in it Dina: oh god Edward: i want to be with you and only you Edward: your breasts with my face nuzzled between them Dina: dont want to see a soul for a whole week Edward: i ache for you Dina: or do a thing but loving you endlessly Edward: my cock knows your name Dina: my cunt yourds Dina: yours Edward: waits for you Dina: im coming (arriving) Dina: im on my way Edward: yes come dina come Edward: arrive Dina: i close my eyes and feel you inside me Dina: around me Dina: by my side Edward: yes dina yes Dina: behind me Dina: in front of me Edward: yes dina Dina: at my left side at my right side at the same time Dina: auras mingled Dina: forming rainbow Edward: i want you to sit on me sitting in you embraced arms around each other holding each other Edward: naked one Edward: errupting light through the tops of our heads Dina: i want to be intimate with you instantly Edward: emanating light and energy through our whole bodies Edward: physically attached Edward: closely held Edward: tightly Dina: i want to feel the energy from your heart enter mine Dina: hold me edward Edward: heart to heart Edward: feel the glow from your face on mine Edward: heartbeting at the same rhythm Edward: feel your back in my hands Dina: hug my from behind Edward: feel the form of your belly against mine Dina: come behind me put your arms around me Edward: your chin in my shoulder Edward: let me feel you hair in my left cheek Edward: hands around your breast Dina: your cock pressed to my butt Edward: arms holding your chest Dina: kiss my neck Edward: yes kiss your neck Dina: my ear Edward: spread your legs Edward: slip my cock slowly between your legs Dina: ear in lips teeth Edward: slip my cock into you wet hot Dina: ahi, edward Edward: full thick Dina: i dream your cock you know Edward: hand to belly Dina: imagine it in full detail Edward: feel my cock in you Dina: veins and all Edward: put my hand on your cunt Edward: feel the silk of your hair Dina: you will feel me completely Edward: feel your clit and labia Dina: fill me Edward: feel my cock in you from behind Edward: slip my fingers into your cunt Edward: butt against me Edward: hot curved tight Edward: fingers in cunt tracing its wet surface Edward: biting your neck Edward: leaving teeth marks Dina: im here edward, feeling you in silence Edward: holding your breast tight against my hands Edward: arms around you Edward: cock in you from behind Edward: deep inside you Dina: sigh Edward: hand on cunt holding you Edward: feel you so wet around me Edward: lay you on the bed on your stomach Dina: i dream of you yet im awake Edward: and raise your butt and stab deep into you Edward: deep inside you Edward: feel the smell of you Dina: living dream cyber dream Edward: real in time Dina: oh edward Edward: evoking sense Edward: oh dina i love you Dina: i want everything from you, you know Dina: to give you everything to receive evrything Edward: yes i know you must give everything to get everything Dina: synchro Dina: to make love to you in all ways possible and some more Edward: you must be empty to receive everything Dina: im open Dina: prepared Dina: available Edward: im full prepared willing Dina: one with you Edward: im so hard dina Dina: im so moved Edward: my cock is down my pants Dina: emotionally shaken Edward: my voice trembles when i talk to you Edward: thats how ive been living lately in a permanet state of exhilariation Dina: mine too and when i sing also Dina: im so moved cant help it Dina: or control Dina: its difficult to record something for you Edward: yes so i am in love with you Edward: words fuggit Edward: fugit Edward: amazing the sexual energy between us Edward: the conscious energy Dina: our basis, no Edward: foundation Dina: i cant stand it any more Edward: neither do i Dina: hopefully it wont be long Edward: what are you going to do Dina: im glad i planned this trip a month ago Dina: about what Edward: as you said you had to Edward: about the rest of the day Dina: today? Edward: yes today Dina: i have nothing to do Edward: what are you wearing Dina: i talked to my accountant a while ago and postponed the talk to monday Edward: what do your knees look like Dina: im wearing clouds Dina: my knees are round Dina: soft Edward: how are your calfs today ankles Dina: ankles thin, i think, one tattoed Dina: other with orgasmax Edward: feet arch Dina: small feet Edward: toes Dina: quite arched Dina: long thin Dina: delicate Dina: toes short, round Dina: regular Edward: thighs white smooth feckled Edward: big really bigger then down perfectly regular Edward: do you actually fit into those panties Dina: i have nice feet Dina: what do you think Edward: i bet you do Dina: im avoiding to make a joke Edward: you have nice hands Dina: so dont force me Edward: my hands are similar to yours only bigger Dina: yes, thin but small Dina: im small all over Edward: stomach Edward: belly button Dina: well, not 100% flat but alright Dina: belly button perfect and delicat, you will see Edward: let me kiss it Dina: small waist Edward: belly is nice in a woman Edward: love your waist Edward: rib cage Dina: i always had a thin waist Dina: rib cage apparent Dina: behind skin Edward: breast Dina: two Edward: lay nicely on you Dina: maybe your hands will round my waist Edward: small i know Dina: small breasts Edward: yes maybe my hands will circumnavigate your waist Dina: small nipples Dina: some light veins on the left breast Dina: light blue Edward: love to kiss them Edward: brush lips across them Edward: kiss the soft spot where your neck meets your torso Dina: describe yourself a little Edward: ride the length of it with my tongue wetting it with my mouth kissing it with opened lips Dina: for my enjoyment Dina: before you start kissing Edward: athletic build Edward: proportional Edward: hairy chest Edward: deeply musculared Dina: and back? Edward: no not particularly Dina: good Edward: old muscles laid on years ago Dina: describe your neck Dina: do muscles persist Edward: gymnast body and conscious Dina: are you still shaved Edward: when you lay muscles on develop them train them they form a basis Edward: yes clean shaved Edward: long haired Edward: good neck Edward: normal good proportions Dina: hair? Edward: should cut hair a bit before i see you Dina: i hope you didnt cut Edward: curly though Dina: dont cut Dina: not yet Edward: it is long though Dina: you should not cut Dina: keep it for me Edward: okay Dina: describe feet Dina: legs Edward: strong arms Edward: long fingers Edward: nice legs Edward: i have two legs Dina: good Dina: (laugh) Dina: and i 2 breasts Edward: feet are short squarish good base to stand on Edward: toes progress in descending order Edward: uniformly Dina: like mine Edward: perfect Dina: we are both perfect Dina: beautiful Dina: sensual Edward: i move well Edward: like an animal Dina: harmonius Edward: dance and all grace Dina: im flexible Dina: much more than average Edward: yeh like a human intelligent body capable of movement Edward: i can still do splits Edward: not like yours Dina: well, for men its different, no, unless you are nureyev Edward: yes that is what i am a nureyev Dina: but he was gay Edward: oh Edward: cancel that Dina: i wish you could see me having a gooood laugh Dina: oh edward Dina: glad i have a sense of humor Edward: oh dina Dina: i cant stop laughing Edward: im glad i can make you laugh Dina: you make me happy, my dancer Edward: it is like looking through a window into paradise Dina: a nice pas des deux we will have Dina: nureyev margot fonteyn Edward: yes pas des deux Dina: floating in space Edward: dancers all Dina: dance with me Edward: pick you up hold you by your waist and kiss you Edward: slowly let you down and kiss you Edward: body pressed to mine Edward: hand around your back Dina: i open my lips to let your wet tongue in Edward: left hand holding your right Edward: move slowly to nothing Edward: music heard Edward: slow lovers dancing moving Dina: yes, edward Edward: bodies pressed together Dina: stop the world Dina: stop time Edward: hips brushing hips Dina: floating around Edward: some quiet desifinado Edward: quiet day and quiet night soft guitar and pale moonlight Edward: two bodies moving imperceptably Edward: keeping tight between them the rhythm of the music heard but silently playing Edward: lips brushing cheek Edward: the rhythm inside us as we move to the same melody Dina: kiss to cheek Dina: mouth to mouth Edward: strong dancers moving bodies slowly imperceptibly to ancient rhythms Dina: beautiful Dina: how we value the same things Edward: touch quiet face hair softness hands touching hands fingers touching fingers Edward: bodies pressed lightly against each other following leading Edward: slide your hands around my body Edward: moving invisibly Edward: tracing skin Edward: hands slide along waist touch hip move across the form Edward: hold touch lightly the shape of butt Edward: moving hand riding movement Edward: slow so slow and gliding Edward: moving imperceptibly in great arcs of movement Edward: big, thin delicat strong hands Edward: fingers on small of back feel your spine move and press itself against me Edward: large hands guitarists hands capable of ten frets Edward: and 20 noted arpegios Edward: play you play your skin your form in dance Edward: in movement feel your spine your ribs your back Dina: make me your instrument Edward: feel your ass the break in it Edward: hand slips between its crack palm on butt Dina: where are these hands headed Edward: fingers reach between your legs and feel your cunt wet Edward: fingers slip betwen your legs and hold you press you close to me Edward: slow dancing Edward: pressed against me breath harder Dina: touch me edward Dina: kiss my labia Dina: lick me Edward: finger tongue lip Edward: kneel in front of you put my face in you Edward: kiss you with my lips Edward: touch you with my tongue Dina: let your long hair stroke my groin Edward: tongue slips between the folds of you and enters you Edward: hair in pubis Edward: licks you drinks Dina: yes, edward Edward: tongue seeking the inside of you Dina: make me scream Edward: tasting you the saltiness of you Edward: bite you bite your clit Edward: tongue your clit Edward: tongue down inside again Dina: oh, edward, so good Edward: hands around ass Edward: pressing you to my face Edward: holding you hard against me Edward: tongue lapping licking Dina: oh, my love,drown me in pleasure Edward: reaching deep within you Edward: wet thick with you Edward: cunt throbbing licking you Dina: feel me throbbing with your tongue Edward: plunging deep within you Edward: smell you as you release yourself full into my face Edward: tongue laping at you licking you Edward: tasting you touching your clit Edward: teasing it Dina: ah Edward: cunt throbing Dina: oh edward Edward: mouth deep within you tongue deep inside you Edward: wet face covered with you Edward: come dina come Edward: hold my face in you and come Dina: yes, my love, a bit more Dina: suck me more Edward: tongue licking you tracing your slit Edward: mouth swallowing the tissues of your labia Edward: sucking its lips Edward: swallowing them sucking them in my mouth Dina: oh edward Edward: splitting you tongue deep within you Dina: im almost there Edward: face in your pubic hairs Edward: fingers around your ass Dina: throbbing accelerates Dina: can you feel it Edward: oh dina fuck me i love you i love you Dina: put your cock inside me please Edward: oh dina let me fuck you put my face and tongue in you Dina: ARE YOU HARD Edward: ouch the depths of you Edward: oh dina let me slip inside of you Edward: thick hard Dina: stab me hard in and out Edward: deep into you deep thrusting into you Edward: oh dina in and out in and out Edward: you are wet dina so wet dripping Dina: oh edward hard, quick urgent Edward: throbbing around my cock Edward: h dina hard hard quickly quickly on an on over and over Edward: oh dina kiss me fuck me Dina: oh edward Dina: im fucking you Edward: oh dina deep with in you dina fuck me i love you come Edward: how i love to fuck you Dina: yes, im coming Edward: come dina come so i can Dina: come with me Edward: love to fuck you make you cme Edward: come in you dina body rigid orgasm come semen Dina: yes, edward Edward: come dina come scream Dina: im coming edward Edward: bite me scratch me Dina: im screaming Dina: fuck me Edward: oh dina come come Dina: panting Dina: let us wake the world Dina: waves of heat all around me Edward: oh dina wet dripping come Dina: emanating form me Edward: semen Edward: oh dina Edward: heating you Dina: burning Edward: yes i can feel you smelll you Edward: feel the heat of you Edward: my chest trembles Dina: im trembling all over Edward: feel the heat inside you Edward: feel the steam of your cunt Edward: the place of life Edward: let me hold you dina Dina: oh, edward Edward: hold you in my harms Edward: feel you breath on me Edward: i love to fuck you to love you to have you Edward: feel your feet around me Edward: rubing against my legs Edward: legs bowed out Dina: i relax in your arms Edward: cunt slapped against me Edward: breasts against me Dina: wet we quiet calm Dina: will never let you go Edward: oh, no Edward: lay in each others arms Dina: i love you edward Edward: so many afternoons we have spent in each others arms Dina: you make me feel me, you know Edward: i am me with you and this is awesome Edward: you let me feel you Edward: you let me feel all of you Dina: outside of you i am some unknown character, a stranger to myself Edward: touch all of you awaken all of you Dina: i loved dancing with you and making love to you Edward: yes, me too, my pleasure Edward: my utmost pleasure Edward: so many ways we have come to know each other Edward: so many pleasures Dina: yes, who could tell, ahn Dina: from a lazy profile Dina: (mine) Dina: i am so lucky Edward: i like you Dina: like? Edward: it is a term used here Dina: for what Edward: to indicate that more than love i like you that you please me Dina: isnt love more than like Edward: that i enjoy your company that i enjoy your consciousness Dina: i will prepare for you like a bride Dina: start tomorrow Dina: a deep massage Edward: english has many convolutions...you may substitue love everywhere Dina: hands, feet, hair Dina: choose outfits one by one Dina: wash, press Edward: oh dina Dina: from today im completely dedicated to you Dina: everything else cancelled, postponed Edward: im glad i have your panties Edward: your picture Edward: your face cream Dina: i think it was important that you've got those Edward: they help me endure this insanity Dina: but you can throw away my contacts Edward: yes they cemented you to me Edward: concretely Dina: i changed grade Edward: your sight has improved Dina: oh, no, dear Edward: become more keen Dina: unfortunately the opposite but not more than expected Dina: only 0,25 Edward: making love clears vision Edward: focuses Dina: i will wear my new contacts for the first time to see you perfectly Edward: clarity Dina: i have a closed box and will open only in florida Edward: well, lets see Dina: im certain that making love to you will shaken my metabolism Dina: change it for the better Dina: my whole body will change when im with you Dina: when i feel loved and welcomed by you Dina: small moment theres someone at the door be right back Edward: i have to go soon Dina: ok, my love Dina: we had a splendorous afternoon for a change Edward: you can always get better and you do Dina: yes my love Dina: will you call tomorrow Edward: it is you that is my muse Dina: i suppose you are not working the next weekend Edward: yes ciao Edward: not saturday but sunday Dina: ok, so we can talk Dina: and then it is us Edward: yes Dina: thanks god Edward: can you imagine Dina: i try Dina: but cant Dina: it will be much better Dina: love you edward Edward: love you dina

Thursday Dec 23

Dec 23 Thursday morning

6:00 am. the day rises slowly in the midst of heavy rain. one more day without you, one day less to wait. i drink from my 1/2 litre glass of water and relax in bed for 10 minutes more, thinking of you as i start to review your gestures, gestures i know so well. i feel the firm touch of your big hands, palm spread over my breast when we wake up. feel the back of your hand designing my face, smooth along hair, finger on lip. leg over leg. chest tight on back. face to neck, cock on butt. we stay there too lazy to move, too much in love to stand apart, too comfortable within each other, avoiding the slightest change. oh, Edward and so it is Thursday. 5 days to our day. good morning, my love/ D

Dec 23 full moon horoscope

The Sabian Symbol for 6 Cancer is "GAME BIRDS FEATHERING THEIR NEST. An instinctual dedication of self to new forms of life. We deal with spiritual forces (birds) placed within a social context. Action is definitely oriented toward the future. A new wave of life is starting and a concrete—and no longer symbolical— preparation is made for it. At a social we can speak of the pioneering efforts dedicated to the building of a new culture, new institutions. What is being built is instinctively, but not yet consciously, offered to a higher level of consciousness. An appropriate key would be SYMBIOSIS, a deep unconscious cooperation between different levels of existence."

Dec 23 missing you hei, Edward, im missing you so much this afternoon its getting difficult to stay here, mom has to double, triple efforts to stop me from living my life. she wont succeed anyway, but its so hard to stay here and listen to this crap. so much shit it makes me feel dirty. i told my brother about it, he doubted me, anyway, i did what i felt was right. its so much responsibility to give her those heavy medicines and run the risk that she's making it up or at least part of it. how can this be possible and yet it is. im sorry, dear. i hope you wont mind me sharing this with you, but its been so hard. you are part of my life so in a way a part of this. but when i get into the plane i will erase all of this and arrive fresh for you. in the meanwhile send me some energy. im waiting. Love/D

Dec 23 call my cell

Edward, i had a huge crisis here. i left home. please call my cell 55 21 96658813

Dec 23 re: call my cell dear Dina i was sorry to hear of catastrophe. . .be sane do not engage in a reactive modality. . .it does not serve your purposes. . .you sounded terrible last night. . .be smart Dina. . .something about burning bridges. . .you are giving yourself a well needed rest. . .you do not have to set fire to brazil to do that. . .move with the current do not cause it. . .take care of yourself. . .love Edward

Dec 23 storm/ calm hei, Edward when you called i was really disturbed and crying, sitting in my uncle's car waiting for him to take me away. i'm calm now. got here, drank lots of water. took a long, hot shower. sometimes the only way to get heard is to speak the same language your oponnent does. so i did it, of course it was an outburst, wasn't planned but i forced a change. my brother said he will be at mom's tomorrow morning. apparently she's asleep. he called the maid to begin on saturday instead of monday, and i will have more time and support to leave. im sure i will have a good night sleep here and will wake up rested. i think things hapenned out of pure exhaustion. in any case im feeling good now. my only sorrow was to make you in a way part of this, something i tried to avoid for the whole month. but then, perfection is not human, no? i'm sure you will enjoy the fact that i am completely human (laugh) and a woman. during the next days maybe you wont be able to connect, because of christmas and so on. if it happens, give me a quick call, just to say hi. i will probably be home tomorrow. i miss you, your kiss, your love, all of you, will have to sleep without making love to you for the first time, will i succeed? will try, think of you, dream of you. hope to talk with you soon. Love/ D

Friday Dec 24

Dec 24 Dina ele e eu

ELE E EU/ Há flores de cores concentradas/ Ondas queimam rochas com seu sal/ Vibrações do sol no pó da estrada/ Muita coisa, quase nada/ Cataclismas, carnaval/ Há muitos planetas habitados/ E o vazio da imensidão do céu/ Bem e mal e boca e mel/ E essa voz que Deus me deu/ Mas nada é igual a ele e eu

HE AND I/ There are flowers of concentrated colors/ Waves burn rocks with their salt/ Vibrations of the sun on the road dirt/ Many things, almost nothing/ Cataclisms, carnival/ There are many inhabited planets/ And the void, the imense sky/ Good and evil, mouth and honey/ And this voice god has given me/ nothing yet like he and I

Dec 24 Dina strong my dear edward, the good thing in this whole lamentable episode was to confirm how strong you are. that you can remain steady, be there for me, send me energy, keep me awake. its the first time in my life i have a strong man by my side. and that's another of a billion reasons why i love you so

Dec 24 Dina miss you my love i missed you for 5 min was at the kitchen cooking lunch hope you will try again

Dec 24 Dina una copa en Bellas Artes edward, my love, let me take you for a ride around my favorite places and events: una copa en Bellas Artes - Madrid despues flamenco en Las Cuevas um cafe no Garcia - Rio, uma caminhada na praia (a walk on the beach) a solitary swim on green emerald lake (mountain lake) in Bariloche - Argentina a walk to the bottom of grand canyon (never did) have coffee above the garden at Getty Center in Santa Monica CA new MOMA of course when waiting lines are oversunday breakfast in Notting Hill - London watch the sun changing la façade d'Institut du Monde Arab a Paris pyramids au Cairo "... match me such a marvel, save in Eastern clime A rose-red city, half as old as time. ["Petra", Dean Burgen] Jordan, let there be peace Zippori, Galilee for a Dyonisius feast a Bejart ballet in Acropolis on summer festival speaking of festivals another summer in Edimburgh for avantgarde theatre go to a Itzhak Perlman concert anywhere, he has the power Wagner Ring in Beyreuth staged by Patrice Chereau Robert Wilson 10 years ago Pina Bausch, of course on her castle in Wuppertal Ufa, more next year, no Love you/ D

Saturday Dec 25

Dec 25 Dina you are not here

Edward, my love sometimes when you're not online i start re-reading our archives. it's amazing Edward. you can make me wet and come whenever i read it, better that any vibrator on the market (never tried one, just to make it clear). 2 days my love i'm already packed and ready to go. more than ready, i'm already there with you. love you love you love you my Edward. every minute now approaching you/ D

Dec 25 Dina last call

Edward, my love Big crisis hapenned again. As i was already packed, i left home for good this time. grabbed a change of clothes called my brother and that's it. i am at my aunt's again and will be here until i leave for the airport on monday. phone number here if you want to call, 55 21 22390763 or 55 21 22947810. everybody speaks english here so no problem. but i will call you at the shop tomorrow (sunday) at 2. i left my cell at home. we can exchange emails, but not type, so my love, its abstinence until tuesday to my deep sorrow. don't get worried. i'm ok and was capable of preserving my integrity. i talked to the psychiatrist when i arrived here and he lectured me that i had to make options and go on with my life. gave me all support possible; now my brother has to take charge and i will see what the near future will bring for me. i have a last link for you, check with headphons. i love you edward.will meet you veeery soon. je t'ambrace, je t'aime beaucoup/ Dina

Sunday Dec 26

Dec 26 Dina almost paradise

Mon cher Edward, je suis deja en route. i'm laying on a hammock, looking at a forest and listening to birds and that is all. i could say i am in paradise, but yet its not since you are not here with me. i planned to take my mission to the end, but then mission ended earlier, or better, 33 years delayed. exactly 33 years ago 5th jan i went to the airport and didnt board the plane, as you know it. but now i will... board my plane nonstop to heaven in your arms. je t'aime, edward, will talk to you later/ D

Monday Dec 27

Dec 27 Dina trust

Dear Edward Yesterday you sounded out of energy. Think about me, flying 12 hours, etc, etc, trusting a 21st century man who does not have a cell phone and spends his time making love to me on cyberspace without having a computer! (laugh) Yet, my love, i do trust you, i trust this wonderful energy that has been surrounding us for more than a month. I love you deeply and can perfectly envision our life together for years to come. As for plan B, i don't get a hint: i can't imagine my life without you anymore. Guess, Edward. In a bit more than 24 hours we will make love, feel each other's heartbeat, skin, smell, taste, look into each other's eyes, cock in cunt in flesh. Next time i lay my body on a bed it will be on a double bed in your arms. Edward, this is going to be the most powerful energy spectacle on earth, Dina meets Edward, Edward meets Dina after eons apart. Take good care, my love. Drive carefully. Don't worry about a thing for our love protects us always. See you really soon. Je t'aime/ Dina

Epilogue

Sept 30 2005

Dear Noga,

I’m sending you this email, to reaffirm how pleased I was to meet you in Rio. I tought a lot about the coincidences in our lives, about your work as a writer and publisher, and decided to send you this material about my correspondence with Edward on MSN after we met on Jdate. The material contains intimate dialogues, strong sexual passages, quite unusual for a mature couple like us; but it is permeated with love and true emotion, and I want you to analyze it and see if it has some value as literature. I think it does, and it is highly poetic sometimes; after all, eroticism is a vital part of life and, although we usually deny it, a precious one for women our age, going through the challenges of menopause and hormonal imbalances. It is also a song of hope for lonely mature women, a proof that we must never give up our search for happiness. My life with Edward, you know, though not a paradise, is peaceful and rewarding; we found balance, understood our differences and were able to build a shared, pleasant reality, where sex is still the primordial tool for love, joy and understanding. I never cease to marvel at his sweet and skilled touch; I never stop being amazed at my own capacity to enjoy, and my recently acquired easiness to reach orgasm, even the much talked about but seldom experienced multiple one. As the correspondence stops when I fly to the US, I decided to write a quick note about our meeting and my brief stay in St Aug as Edward’s mate, since we decided to try our living in Brazil and ended up being successful here. I also added the only page I wrote on my journal during that period, since this page was crucial for my decision to go on with the relationship and to transcend all issues and adaptation difficulties. Let me confess here: I’m so glad I did that and stayed with him when things were though… So, dear Noga, I hope you will enjoy and value this writings as much as I do. Hopefully you will decide to publish it, though Edward is not yet very sure about it (I will convince him in due time if we decide to go on) Hope to hear from you soon, Much Love/ D

On dec 28, after a long but quiet flight, I finally arrived to Tampa, my last stopover before meeting Edward live for the first time. I checked out quickly, and in a few minutes was sitting by the wheel in my rented chevy, ready to drive to Orlando. I was kind of numb, then. A mix of excitement, exhaustion, fear, anxiety… The car wouldn’t start and I had to ask for help. Funny enough, I wasn’t used to automatic cars and did not know how to start one! Cultural differences begin… Half blind, or half asleep, of course I turned right on my way out of the parking lot, where I should have turned left. I lost about 20 minutes and some cents on toll before being able to turn over and resume the correct direction… Anyway, I was already in Florida, and on my way. To happiness? To disappointment? I had an appointment with Edward at noon at the hotel check-in, and traffic turned jammed; the car could barely move and time was rushing; I was thirsty, hungry, drinking small, disgustingly hot gulps from a plastic water bottle and occasionally snacking from a trail mix package I bought in Miami Airport. Would he be there? Maybe he wouldn’t even care to show up? How could I doubt so much this man I have been so intimate to for 45 days… Pains of delivery, I thought. Crude reality being born out of the womb of cyber illusion. Breathing deeply every time a painful thought crossed my mind, I kept on the route, to arrive to the hotel magically on time. I parked my car and went straight to check-in, looking around for a materialized picture. As soon as I approached the counter a stranger came from behind, holding a small bouquet of white flowers. “Are you Dina?” I looked at him and suddenly felt my energy rush out of me as I nearly fainted. All I could do was drop my weary body over the nearest chair and try to breathe. The man looked old, short, hairy, with a round belly showing out of the jacket. And nervous. Once again I looked at the stranger and tried to see my Edward behind him, breathing deeply; he waited, probably hurt by my obvious disappointment. After a while I was able to raise my hand and caress his face as I said hello, mumbling some embarrased excuses for my behaviour. These simple touch opened a cascade of emotions running from some unknown source; in less than a minute I was sitting on his lap kissing him passionately, until some maid came to tell us our explicit love was inconvenient and not allowed in the lobby; our room wasn’t ready so we went for a walk, stopping at every 2 or 3 steps to embrace and kiss. Intimacy was spontaneous and complete, as I have never experienced before; once in the room we got quickly free of clothes and fell in each other’s arms on the bed. It was then cunt in cock in real life. Bellow Edward’s lovely belly, cock exceeded promises and expectations, thick, veined, infatigable. For a week we were like this: connected, always touching, magnetically kept together, barely aware of the ugly hotel room or the vulgar town around us. Each day was an unexpected journey, with a different theme; a different part of the body to explore, a deeper emotion reached, an unstoppable flow of old stories, some funny, some painful. I discovered in Edward a strong shaman who could make me cry for hours at the mere touch of his hand on the right spot; I felt my whole being journeying through the strongest cleansing process, layer by layer of mind, body, soul; the deepest mikva pouring all emotional litter out of me. Everyday I reached new levels of pleasure, opened new doors to my sensitive body, felt touched in a miryad of ways. On the third day it happened for the first time: we were making love, and Edward stopped all movement while keeping still inside of me; suddenly I was overwhelmed by an unknown sensation and started to cry convulsively; as the crying calmed down, I had a prolonged orgasm that lasted for a long time, long after our bodies were separated. Edward was deeply touched too, to the point of crying one afternoon, overwhelmed by the emotion and beauty of our encounter. At the end of the week, a decision imposed itself: how could I fly back, leaving him behind to once again dive deeply in hell? Edward was not so sure; he wasn’t ready to be responsible for me; I did not know then, but many challenges and unfinished business awaited my arrival to St Augustine as his partner. But I insisted; how could I not? This was a lifetime dream coming true and I felt ready to risk everything. I felt strong, brave and audacious as I tored down my ticket to pieces, minutes before returning the rented car at the airport to board Edward‘s ugly, old and rusted BMW (who cares about old cars when passion strikes…). We drove to Saint Augustine in a blue, cool, sunny day, the breeze crossing the car through the windows and sunroof, caressing my breasts under the loose t-shirt I was wearing; I felt free, happy, fated. Upon our arrival we visited the lighthouse, drove along the beach, crossed the drawbridge to get home. As I anticipated, Edward’s garret was an interesting space, though small, filled with light, with a big, welcoming double bed; at first sight, I did not see anything wrong with it. Well, except for the termites, that were busy eating every litle piece of wood available, from the furniture, the windows’ frames, the doors, the floor; thank god the bed was made of metal! First days in St Aug were all discovery: shopping at the supermarket, choosing food, signing membership to Blockbuster, also an anticipated pleasure to show Edward some of my favorite films. We were very busy taking Edward out of isolation, buying a cell phone, a tv set, a stereo, a computer. Indeed, he lived like a monk, oblivious to all modern facilities; more and more, though, taken by the freshness of a woman’s presence, the garret started to look like a home. Different from what I expected, it was very easy to cook for him, to care for him, his clothes, the house, intimacy taking charge immediately and without restriction. For the first time in my life, being with a male companion was easy, I could sleep and share the bed without any problem, and all my fears and stress concerning life as a couple were dissipated. I resumed running, starting the route at the old castle and adventuring a bit more every day. Work was tough, though. I left Brazil for a short holiday and did not come back; I was lucky enough that my friend Jena decided to move to Rio and agreed to be my business partner, nevertheless, that meant hours and hours daily on MSN, trying to explain to her how things worked. Meanwhile, my mother’s condition worsened. She was probably missing me badly, but on some level reacted to it by being aggressive: she simply threw away all my stock and many documents My brother managed to save part of it and gave what he could save to Jena; step by step we managed to replenish the inventory, to order new packaging, to print new brochures, to get business going, though slow. Step by step my brother and his wife took charge of my mother’s care and hired caretakers. One night I was quietly asleep in our garret when someone started to knock violently at the door; Edward opened it, and there was his former lover, furious, jealous and feeling abandoned. The next day I asked him to take me to her house, and I introduced myself to her. I was not welcomed there, though; she was deeply hurt and blaming me for her misery. I didn’t know she saw herself as Edward’s partner, though he told me they haven’t had a real relationship for the last 2 years… Sad as she was for losing him, she acted vengeful, picturing me as evil to Julia, who tried to interfere with our happinness. I felt as the target of a curse, and tried to protect myself the best I could. The bees were nervous around Edward, trying to bite, to hit, to compensate for their loss. Katherine also came to visit. I found her beautiful, but disturbed. She has been going through a lawsuit concerning her daughter’s guardianship and was under a great deal of stress; I confess I found her charming and a threat. I felt Edward was affected by her presence, but in fact she tried to be supportive to our relationship and didn’t impose herself to our daily life; in my first months in St Augustine I did not see her more than a couple of times and Edward hardly met her. Little by little I was getting acquainted with the town’s life and rhythm; I soon discovered a better route to run and even adventured myself to walk to the beautiful beach in Anastasia State Park, a long walk, almost a half marathon. The beach turned out to be my refuge in difficult moments. Life with Edward was full of love, wonderful sex and adventure, but not a smooth, quiet one. Sometimes he was really impatient with flaws in my spoken English; he was somewhat intolerant and had occasional anger bouts that made me cry. We had wonderful moments, though; he helped me revise my firsts attempts to make literature in English and I was thrilled to write poetry with his assistance. Fridays were always a great pleasure: I baked a Challah and Edward blessed the wine and the bread; we ate salmon and lit candles, the house filled with flowers and love. Weekends were usually difficult… It was time for Edward to miss his kids who lived so far from him… I tried to compensate, would not run for 2 days, dedicate myself to him, but yet it wasn’t enough, for the pain of separation was really strong…

May 19 Dina

Doppleganger do you think you’re ugly you don’t know how beautiful you are when rested, relaxed smiling, open when your heart shines through your lips as blossoming magnolias in the morning freshness still, the ugly you exists and you know it he has been spying on you hunting you jeopardizing you sabotaging consistently trying his best to smash the good in you all beauty gone don’t let him. kill him first merciless stab him clean with sharp, precisely Japanese sword no bloodshed intended let beauty win. let lightning sprout from you erasing memories remotest records ruthless enemy gone as your splendid body rules raising love in you shedding wisdom as the tzadik reigns in you seeding life forever through you

I wrote this poem for Edward, yesterday, while running. For the first time since I arrived to Saint Augustine, on last January, I’m aware that today is a 19. As I’ve learned long time ago, from a shamanic teacher, 19 is the number of karma, and while living in Rio, at my mother’s house, I had this special commitment with myself for every 19 of the month: this should be a very special day, when I would not let anybody disturb my good vibes; I would always buy something special, have a very nice meal with my preferred recipes, and be nice to myself in a ritual strategy to overcome the hardships of karma. This morning was magical and what followed even more amazing. The last weekend was really tough for Edward and I; conflict was strong and apparently winning. He bursted out on another choleric episode and this time, for me, felt like the last drop. I couldn’t go on feeling abused like this, treated like a stupid, insensitive, useless bitch and I decided to go back to Brasil. I walked alone to the beach, crying, trying to listen to my heart and mind at the same time, and spent the remaining of Sunday looking for an American Airlines flight to use my miles. The last available flight in off-peak season was on the 23rd, in a week; too little time to finish what I started here, to close business contacts, and it would be, once more, leaving things unfinished behind me. Yet, for me, it was the only way out. I could not look Edward in the eye, could barely talk to him; pain was almost unbearable. Today, 4 days later, I cannot even remember what all that fuss was about. I woke up on Monday and there he was full of love; we made love no less than 8 times that day! Anyway, back to this morning. I woke up at 8 as usual and started to think about my daily walk. Edward woke up shortly after, stretched his body out of sleep and embraced me. We started to make love and he touched my left breast with a sweetness not yet experienced; I don’t know if it was this simple gesture, or the kindness, or the tenderness of the moment. What I know is that at some point a heat wave started to build up from my feet, invading my whole body to reach the head, filling me with wave upon wave of pleasure; we made love for a long time, and when finally our bodies got apart I was unable to move and laid there, my cunt throbbing and wave upon wave of heat surfing my naked body. It lasted more than ten minutes and I realized I had my first real multiple orgasm, at 52 years old! After some time I was finally able to get up. I got dressed and reached the street for the morning walk. I crossed the drawbridge as always, to reach my normal route in Anastasia Island. When I got to the part of the route that has no houses near the water, where I usually see dolphins, I noticed something strange: there, growing wild among the weeds and wild tall grass, I saw 3 beautiful white gladiola. I wondered if someone would bother to grow gladiola in that wild, uncultivated garden that did not belong to any of the surrounding houses, and decided to pick up one of the flowers taking it home with me. During all my way back the gladiola stem was inside my running shorts and I could smell its sweet perfume inebriating me. In Brazil, gladiola are devoted to Saint Rita of Cascia; in fact, they are called “Palmas de Santa Rita”due to their resemblance to the stick that flowered when Saint Rita tried to join the Augustine convent in Italy. Of course I did not know anything of this, only the Brazilian name for the flower and the voice repeating inside me to search on Google for Saint Rita as soon as I arrived home. And so I did… what I found out was amazing! I learned that Saint Rita always wanted to be a nun, but ended up getting married upon the insistence of her parents; her husband, Paolo Mancini, was a good man though of strong and impetuous character, somewhat abusive, and made her suffer, until she tamed him with kindness and a loving heart. Nevertheless, he was later murdered and as a widow she finally joined the Augustinians, after convincing the nuns of her firm intentions with the miracle blossoming of a dry stick; she is now considered the patron saint of all women victims of abusive husbands! And more: her own patron saint is St Augustine and May 22 was her day! Despite the fact that I’m Jewish and not at all attached to religion, even less to Christian tradition, I felt touched by her kindness and lit her a candle near the vase with the gladiola; I hope it will burn until Sunday, May 22(!!!!!!), when I have the intention of going to the beach for a ritual, to give her the flower. Today, really, I felt reconnected with the angelic, magical aspect of life; all this cannot be a mere coincidence and the whole event feels special. I feel protected now, empowered, blessed. No matter what happens, my place is right here, by Edward’s side and like Rita, I will have enough strength to tame him in his ferocious moments. I will surround him with love, kindness, understanding… In a month we will be flying to Brazil for my nephew’s Bar Mitzva. I have a vague feeling that something crucial will happen on this trip, some definite blessing, some sign. As I’m now able to see the signs again on my path, I feel more confident, whole. The love I feel for this man will hopefully be enough to transcend difficult moments, to heal our issues, will give us strenght to go on, to bond, to stay together, to keep this precious commitment, to surrender to our true and very real love story…

As you can easily grasp, once in Brazil good opportunities showed up and we decided to stay here… I started to introduce Edward to people in the jewelry business and soon we were offered this small, charming store. We decided to take a risk, as Edward was really enjoying the country, the weather, the beauty of gems, Rio (and beautiful, fit people all around, different from everyday scene in the US). Edward felt free here to start fresh and I was happy with it. Although I had once dreamed to be successful in America, the home feeling and the possibility of caring for my mother counted. After all, wherever Edward is, that’s where I belong. Wherever love is, that’s where I want to live. Everything else follows and the magic of everyday certainly unfolds. So that’s how I finish these cyberjournals, while the happy end is still here. I hope it lasts this time, since the world is really craving happy endings… Everybody is so fed up with disappoinment, scarcity and pain. Ah! No, I don’t do cyberdating anymore; I did not get addicted to cybersex or something like that, and the internet was no more than a convenient media to meet the mate I’ve been dreaming of. I assure you that although the cybersex scene might be thrilling, rollercoaster real life with ups and downs and smells and nasty habits and bad temper and smiles and touch and scents and skin, some fat, some wrinkles, and taste and sound and sunlight is what I really enjoy…

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