Building Strong Parenting Partnerships
By: Brian Higginbotham, Extension Specialist, Utah State University
To build strong parenting partnerships it is Indulgent parenting is high in warmth important for couples to understand and but low in control. These parents are manage their differing parenting styles. more “responsive than they are “Parenting styles” refer to how parents teach, demanding.”9 Indulgent parenting styles influence, and socialize their children. The are generally linked to children who concept of parenting styles includes two key have more problems with authority, elements of parenting: parental responsiveness have less self-regulation, and poorer (i.e., warmth or supportiveness) and parental school outcomes.10,11 demandingness (i.e., behavioral control).1 Parents with an uninvolved style provide Parenting Styles low warmth and low control. This style is generally linked to children who lack There are four primary parenting styles: self-control, have low self-esteem, and authoritarian, authoritative, indulgent, and are less competent than their peers.12,13 uninvolved. For years, researchers have used these parenting styles to predict child well- being; specifically academic performance, Figure 1: PARENTING STYLES psychosocial competence, and social 2 competence. CONTROL
Parents with an authoritative style High Low demonstrate high warmth and high Authoritative Indulgent control. “They monitor and impart clear (democratic or (permissive or standards…They are assertive but not balanced) nondirective) intrusive and restrictive. Their High disciplinary methods are supportive, High Warmth High Warmth 3 rather than punitive.” This style is High Control Low Control generally linked to children who are happy, capable, and successful.4,5 Authoritarian Uninvolved WARMTH (strict or (neglectful or The authoritarian style is high in control controlling) dismissive)
but low in warmth. Parents who use this Low style are “obedience- and status- Low Warmth Low Warmth oriented, and expect their orders to be High Control Low Control 6 obeyed without explanation.” Children Source: Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. raised by authoritarian parents are (1983). Socialization in the context of the generally obedient; while lower in social family: Parent–child interaction.20 competence and self-esteem.7,8
1 Building Strong Parenting Partnerships Why Parenting Styles May encompasses opportunities to expand “insights, understanding and attitudes Differ and the acquisition of knowledge and Parenting styles can be influenced by skills about the development of both numerous factors, including one’s culture, parents and of their children and the 14 family of origin, education, and personality. relationship between them.” Style may also be influenced by the age of Particularly for adoptive, foster, or first- children, family size, biological relationship and time parents, parenting education can family structure. Particularly when parents have expose individuals to helpful information different preferred parenting styles, it is about child development, parenting important for couples to work together, to styles, discipline, and effective parenting support one another, and to not confuse their behaviors (view resources at children. For example, an indulgent parent may CYFERnet, www.cyfernet.org). want to give children money for doing chores Offer, or connect parents to, healthy around the house. However, this could create marriage and relationship education contention if the other parent feels housework courses to reinforce or strengthen their should be an unpaid expectation. relationship as a couple and/or co- parenting team. These courses are Spillover voluntary opportunities to learn healthy relationship skills and knowledge such Positive aspects of the couple as communication and conflict relationship appear to promote management. A summary of healthy positive parenting and negative marriage and relationship education and aspects of the couple relationship associated programs around the country appear to promote negative is available at the U.S. Department of 21 parenting. Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Tips and Resources to Help Families, Healthy Marriage Initiative website, Couples Build a Strong http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/ Parenting Partnership index.html. Professionals, and other interested parties, who Facilitate parental partnership work with parents can help cultivate strong development. In social services, it is not uncommon, for males and father-figures parenting partnerships. The following is a 15 sample of activities to consider: to feel excluded. Professionals should encourage both parents to engage in Encourage healthy parenting styles. discussions and decisions about Some parents, because of their parenting.16 upbringing, may not know what healthy authoritarian parenting looks like. Those Remarriage and stepfamily dynamics who work with parents can encourage may introduce additional adults whose and reinforce healthy parenting input and participation should be practices and skills such as consistency, considered. In strong parental monitoring, and warmth. partnerships, all caregivers could be encouraged to work together for the Offer, or connect parents to, parenting good of the children. education courses. Parenting education 2 Building Strong Parenting Partnerships Notes
Parenting Apart 1 Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in Tips for non-residential parents, the context of the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington, Handbook of incarcerated parents, deployed parents, child psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, 22 etc: and social development (4th ed.). New York, NY: Wiley. Acknowledge the challenges and 2 offer assistance. Darling, N. (1999). Parenting style and its correlates (ERIC Digest No. ED427896). Champaign, IL: Discourage competition between ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early parents. Childhood Education. 3 Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on Encourage engagement of all parties adolescent competence and substance use. The and strive for cooperative co- Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95; parenting . quotation, 62. 4 Link to on-line and electronic Buehler, C., & Gerard, J. M. (2002). Marital conflict, ineffective parenting, and children’s and resources that facilitate learning and adolescents’ maladjustment. Journal of Marriage connection from a distance. and Family, 64(1): 78-92. Recognize the place both parents 5 See note 2 above. have in a child’s heart. 6 See note 3 above. 7 See note 4 above. Conclusion 8 See note 2 above. 9 See note 3 above. Children who experience high levels of parental 10 See note 4 above. conflict tend to have more internalizing and 11 externalizing behavior problems (e.g., See note 2 above. depression, aggression, lower academic 12 See note 4 above. 17 achievement). Because conflict between 13 See note 2 above. parents can have a negative “spill-over” effect 14 18 National Parenting Education Network. (n.d.). on children, parents should strive to work as a Background: Vision, mission, and goals. Quotation, team. Parenting styles are changeable and para. 12. Retrieved from: parents can learn and adopt parenting styles http://www.npen.org/about/background.html and behaviors that facilitate healthy 15 Daniel, B., & Taylor, J. (1999). The rhetoric versus the relationships and positive child well-being.19 reality: A critical perspective on practice with fathers Strong parenting partnerships not only benefit in child care and protection work. Child and Family the child, but can also reduce stress on the Social Work, 4(3), 209–220. parents as they transition into new relationships 16 Trotter, J. (1997). The failure of social work researchers, and stepfamily situations. teachers and practitioners to acknowledge or engage non-abusing fathers: A preliminary discussion. Social Work Education, 16(2), 63–76. 17 El-Sheikh, M., & Elmore-Staton, L. (2004). The link between marital conflict and child adjustment: Parent-child conflict and perceived attachments as mediators, potentiators, and mitigators of risk. Development and Psychopathology, 16(3): 631- 648. 18 Ibid.
3 Building Strong Parenting Partnerships
19 Cummings, E. M., Goeke-Morey, M. C., & Graham. M. A. (2002). Interparental relations as a dimension of parenting. In J. G. Borkowski & S. L. Ramey, (Eds.), Parenting and the child's world: Influences on academic, intellectual, and social-emotional development (pp. 251-263). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. 20 See note 1 above. 21 See note 19 above. 22 Fagan, J. & Palkovitz, R. (2011). Coparenting and relationship quality effects on father engagement: Variations by residence, romance. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(3), 637-653.
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This product was produced by ICF International with funding provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant: 90FH0002. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.
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