FRONTLINE NOVEMBER 10, 2020

THE BIGNESS OF

As we continue in our survey of David’s life, let’s pause for a moment to reflect on the topic in this lesson— forgiveness! When God brought his never ending into our lives through Jesus’ sacrifice and the Holy Spirit’s indwelling, he began the lifelong process of restoration. Our God is not only the great Creator—creating everything out of nothing, but he is also the great Redeemer—engaged in restoring the creation order that was disrupted by sin. God’s intent is to restore his broken creation back to its original form. This is because when sin entered the world through human disobedience and rebellion everything was changed.

The unity that existed between God and man became disunity. The harmony that existed among mankind became disharmony. And the purity that characterized all that God had created became impure! Ever since that time God has been about restoring purity, unity, and harmony between God and mankind, among men themselves and one day restoring them between mankind and creation. This is what Christmas is all about— God becoming man so man could be restored. But in order for that to happen to us personally—before we can enter into a new union with God of purity, unity, and harmony, God has to make a very big decision on our behalf. He has to decide to forgive us of our sins against Him. Because of Jesus’ ministry on the cross, God freely does that as we believe and in Christ as our savior.

The moment we do, the Spirit comes to make us spiritually alive to God—indwelling us and making us a new creation in Christ. God wipes our sin slate clean, declaring to us that there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. As that new life becomes an increasingly conscious reality of our lives, , , , and bitterness no longer have a place in our lives as the prime movers of our thoughts, words, and actions in our relationship with God and others. Because God has forgiven us, restoration can begin as purity, unity, and harmony once again fill up our lives and relationships—but only if we are willing to do what God has done for us—forgive those who sin against us.

This is where David found himself after being forgiven for his horrible sins. He needed to forgive others who had sinned against him. Hopefully, as we have considered David’s life, you have been able to see yourselves in David’s shoes and learn to be a person after God’s own heart. Understand that offering genuine forgiveness is one of the greatest obstacles to genuine community in God’s people. Without forgiveness, peace, and contentment are hard to come by. When it comes to forgiveness, we are either on the judgment seat or the mercy seat! And we have to decide which is going to dominate our lives! So give me the liberty to ask you a very direct question as we consider the bigness of forgiveness. Is there anyone in your life that you have not forgiven? Is there a family member, friend, ex-spouse, you name it, with whom you have gone through the motions of forgiveness, but inside you are still burning with ?

If we have not dealt with this issue of forgiveness, we will have no freedom in our lives. Our future will remain chained to our past, as we remain its prisoner. God is seeking to restore harmony, purity, and unity to our lives and to our relationships. This is why He commands us as His children to be like Him and forgive. So let’s talk about the games we in pretending forgiveness and the plan of forgiveness God has given us. There are three substitutes for genuine forgiveness that are so common that even Christians mistakenly think are the real thing. The first substitute is conditional forgiveness that says I can forgive you…if you never do that again or as soon as you…whenever you live perfectly. This is not real, but reactionary, like two cats fighting. But this is the way some people offer forgiveness! It’s a no-win situation conditioned on you not needing forgiveness.

That would be like God saying that He will forgive you if never sin again. The second substitute is partial forgiveness that says I can forgive, but not forget what you did! This is not genuine because it has the wrong focus. Its aim is on remembering the hurt and keeping the hurt stirred up within, rather than on forgiving and allowing healing to come. The third substitute is delayed forgiveness that says I cannot forgive you now, so one remains in limbo, living in forgiveness purgatory. The question that needs to be asked is this: Are we processing forgiveness or avoiding it?

When we refuse to forgive, our lives begin down the CYCLE of unforgiveness. First there is the SIN: someone sins directly or indirectly against us. HURT occurs as our personhood has been assaulted. We feel our significance and/or security has been threatened or damaged. ANGER follows hurt and RESENTMENT follows hard after anger. By then a GRUDGE—a spirit of malice and begins, filling our mind and heart as we want and wait for that person to fail or be hurt. Our perspective of life and people becomes colored as Satan tightens his grip around our lives and at last we are left at the bottom of the cycle as VICTIMS, keeping people and life at arms-length. At this final stage, we focus our energy on maintaining the walls of our exaggerated comfort zone. This is not a good way to live life for anyone, but for a believer—a follower of Jesus—it is a contradiction to the forgiveness God has granted to us. The says it is the forgiven that make the best forgivers. No matter where one finds themselves on this downward cycle at each juncture, there remains the opportunity to reverse the process by offering biblical forgiveness.

And what is the definition of biblical forgiveness? It is giving up to God my human right to revenge for the sin suffered! As one made in God’s image, we have the right to be respected and accepted by others! When sin violates that right, it hurts and produces anger within us as our moral bearing says justice must be served and that wrong made right. Our problem is that sin within us turns our sense of justice into revenge and we end up just wanting to get even! So biblical forgiveness is giving over to God, the only righteous judge, my human right for justice! Giving up that right is not a and it doesn’t mean forgetting. God doesn’t forget anything or He wouldn’t be God. Rather, God has chosen not to punish us for our sins. So this is an act of our will, like getting up, going to work, or eating our vegetables when we don’t want to. This is the only thing that can reverse the cycle and give freedom from Satan! This decision is what establishes a basis for God to heal the hurt and restore us to wholeness.

So now let’s consider the example of David’s forgiveness. Have you ever been at the end of your rope, feeling like your life had hit rock bottom, only to have someone rub salt in your wound? This was David’s life as he fled with his family from his son, Absalom. David's life had hit rock bottom. His affair with Bathsheba had set off a whole chain of tragic events: his infant son died, his family was in turmoil, and he lost his throne to his rebellious son Absalom. Stripped of his dignity and political power, David was at the lowest level of his life. On the run out of Jerusalem, fleeing by night, David's vulnerability was attacked with and lies.

When King David came to Bahurim, there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera, and as he came he cursed continually. And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. And Shimei said as he cursed, “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! The LORD has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the LORD has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.” (2 Samuel 16:5-8)

Motivated by hatred, Shimei spoke lies attacking David, that David had killed Saul and his family, when in truth David had spared Saul’s life on two occasions. He claimed David had stolen the throne, when in truth God gave it to him, which the nation affirmed. The last lie was that God had given throne to Absalom, when in fact God was giving it to his son, Solomon. Basically, the man is saying that God is behind David’s . So, picture the scene. David is surrounded by a few faithful soldiers, family, and friends carrying what they can, while Shimei walks on this hill above them, shouting, cursing, and throwing rocks and dirt down on them. What would we do if such events happened to us? Certainly, this is David's opportunity for revenge.

Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Now let me go over and cut off his head.” But the king said, “What business of mine is yours, you sons of Zeruiah? If he curses, and if the Lord has told him, ‘Curse David,’ then who should say, ‘Why have you done so?’” Then David said to Abishai and to all his servants, “Behold, my son who came out of my own body seeks my life; how much more now this Benjaminite? Leave him alone and let him curse, for the Lord has told him. Perhaps the Lord will look on my misery and return good to me instead of his cursing this day.” So David and his men went on the road; and Shimei kept going on the hillside close beside him, and as he went he cursed and threw stones and dirt at him. (2 Samuel 16:9-13)

David refused to retaliate. Instead he waited on God to be his judge. David’s response was to insist that God is still in control of our lives. God is even using this for His purposes, so let my critic alone. If my son hates me, surely I can accept the fact that this man might also. So instead of taking instant revenge, David waits on God to be his avenger. David gave up his right justice to GOD! See that? A few months later, the civil war is over, Absalom has been killed in battle, and David has been reinstalled as king. Notice what happens when David returns along this same road.

The king then returned and came as far as the Jordan. And the men of Judah came to Gilgal in order to go to meet the king, to escort the king across the Jordan. Then Shimei the son of Gera, the Benjaminite who was from Bahurim, hurried and came down with the men of Judah to meet King David. And there were a thousand men of Benjamin with him, and Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, and his fifteen sons and his twenty servants with him; and they rushed to the Jordan before the king. Then they crossed the shallow places repeatedly to bring over the king’s household, and to do what was good in his sight. And Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king as he was about to cross the Jordan. And he said to the king, “May my lord not consider me guilty, nor call to mind what your servant did wrong on the day when my lord the king went out from Jerusalem, so that the king would take it to heart. For your servant knows that I have sinned; so behold, I have come today, the first of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.” But Abishai the son of Zeruiah responded, “Should Shimei not be put to death for this, the fact that he cursed the Lord’s anointed?” David then said, “What is there between you and me, you sons of Zeruiah, that you should be an adversary to me today? Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? For do I not know that I am king over Israel today?” So the king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” The king also swore to him. (2 Samuel 19:15-23)

The three hardest words for any of us to say are, “I have sinned” and the next three hardest words to say are, “I forgive you”. Shimei's confession of sin was accepted by David. He was able to forgive Shimei for two reasons. First, his vertical focus was clear and strong—he had left the offense in God's hands. Second, he was aware of his own failure—he had come fresh off a humbling experience caused by his own sins. So what practical application can we make to our own lives? Here are some lessons to consider:

Also, do not take seriously all the words which are spoken, so that you do not hear your servant cursing you, for you know that even you have cursed others many times as well. (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22)

Develop a tougher skin! This is one lesson that needs to be learned well or we are doomed to failure. If we are going to be effective with people, we have to be well shod. When you walk through thorns, you need to wear heavy boots. Likewise, when you walk in the path of people whose words and actions can hurt you, you've got to develop a thick skin. Ask God to help you in your thinking, refuse to live like a victim, and make Jesus your refuge for hurt and healing. Choose to live motivated by love.

Understand your accuser’s heart! Looking beyond the offensive words and actions to consider the person inside helps us develop tough skin. Ask yourself, am I being attacked because I am guilty or am I just convenient? Remember hurt people hurt people! Our role and response should be to confess, comfort or confront. Always choose offering grace over holding a grudge!

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of , , humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. (Colossians 3:12-13)

Remember your own need of forgiveness! Reminding ourselves of God’s forgiveness of us does help us build our tolerance for others and prompts us to forgive biblical forgiveness in the offender.

Offer biblical forgiveness to the offender! Make the decision before God and consciously give up your right for revenge to God. This will establish a benchmark between you and God, so Satan has no place to attack, stirring up remembrance of hurt and anger. Verbally offer forgiveness to the offender. “l forgive you” is still the best therapy for both parties. If you are the one hurt, this give you emotional freedom, and if you are the one being forgiven, this gift of grace allows the relationship to move on and start over! So now is the time to put shoe leather on these lessons with anyone in your life that needs forgiveness!

Point to Ponder: When it comes to forgiveness, we are either on the judgment seat or the mercy seat! And we have to decide which is going to dominate our lives!

Question to Answer: Is there anyone with whom you have gone through the motions of forgiveness, but are still harboring heart resentment?

Pastor Dave