e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m  1 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 1 1 1 2 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m Issue #186 • Volume 16 • Number 06 December 2008

Copyright © 2008 All rights reserved. SATAN CLAUS’ Published monthly by XMAG LLC. Circulation: 75,000 per month at 200+ sites XXXMAS LIST Mailing Address: pray you’re not on it 818 SW 3rd Avenue, Suite 1324 Portland, Oregon 97204 by nick st. prick Telephone: 503.241.4317 Fax: 503.914.0439 page 14 Email: [email protected] Exotic Online: www.xmag.com

Publisher XMAG LLC. BITING INTO ZOMBIE General Manager Bryan A. Bybee STRIPPERS Editor hot, naked and dead sexy John R. Voge by mort ishin Assistant Editor page 26 Stephanie Poarch

Production / Design Guru Diego

Graphic Design THE NEW BLUE Darkstar Graphics Shawna REVIEW Contributing Photographers Pdxblackbook.com atomic vixens in the valley of the sluts London Lunoux • HYPNOX by miss scarlett Steve Lenz • AmbeRed page 28 Advertising Adam (503) 804-4479 Mariah (503) 827-8018 (ESCORTS) John Voge (206) 498-3056

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Contributors MENTION: PART 2 Spooky X • Statutory Ray hardcore to the blood and bone Mata-Leao • John Voge Ophelia Derriere • Mort Ishin by matt rose Pantera • Wildfl ower • Matt Rose page 54 Miss Scarlett • Nick St. Prick

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Cover Models Natasha from Hotties

Exotic is not liable for any images of models used by advertisers to promote products or services. Rights and releases are the sole responsibility of the advertisers. All EROTIC CITY PG. 22 persons appearing in photos are over the age of 18. One copy of each edition of Exotic is available free to any person each month. Anyone removing magazines in bulk will AURAL STIMULATION PG. 32 be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Any reproduction of materials presented herein without the expressed written consent of the publisher PIN-UP CALENDAR PG. 36 is forbidden by law. In scientifi c case studies, reading Exotic magazine has caused certain undesirable side effects. Possible side effects include headache, dizziness, BI-GIRL’S DILEMMA PG. 52 mild nausea, diahrrea, vomiting, rash, itching, hives, swelling of the lips and face, TALES FROM THE DJ BOTH PG. 58 hair growth, hand tremors, gum swelling, higher blood pressure, increase in cho- lesterol level, altered kidney function, swollen gums, acne, weight gain, blood in the KENNY MACK: THE TRUTH PG. 62 urine, fl uid retention, drowsiness, irritability, behavior changes, oily anal discharges, premature ejaculation, complete penile dysfunction, lupus, sleep apnea, lyme THE BOTTOM LINE PG. 64 disease and certain strains of knee-jerk, violent, right-wing republican behavior.

exotic magazine | xmag.com 1 3 hen you think vengecrabs.com have not today or yesterday, but prob- a padlock, presumably to keep you via satellite, to your cell phone, time some male interns caused a hassle to figure out how to give about Xmas, you brought those nasty ably tomorrow, and if you don’t closed for business, however the PDA and PC simultaneously! scandal in the Capitol.” This blow- good head. think about fam- little crotch critters give it to your lover she’s going item’s description warns: “This Use the patented mapping sys- up sex doll could really satisfy the Inside this book you will find ily, credit card into the mainstream to give it to you because he/she doesn’t actually work, be sure to tem, pantyMap®, to find the swing voters. positions and techniques that will Wbills, crowded shopping malls, for all to enjoy. Pay is surely cheating on you. Don’t use secondary methods to protect exact location of your loved one Just in case you don’t mix enhance pleasure for both of you, over eating and about all the god- their site a visit and wait for the freight train of in- your virtue.” Now available at the 24 hours a day. The technology politics with sex (dolls), you can exercises that will improve your damn gifts you have to not only you’ll find out how evitability to run you down dead reduced price of $9.95. is embedded into a piece of fab- always pick up the all new Sarah stamina and performance, an easy give, but receive. Pick up a copy of you too can give the on the tracks of genital comfort- ric so seamlessly she will never Jessica Porkher “Sex in her Shit- to navigate guide to the female Rolling Stone or Maxim’s Decem- gift that keeps on giv- ability; take matters in to your GPS Bra and Panty Set know it’s there! Pricing packag- ty” love doll, which allows you and male anatomy and commu- ber issue and you will find that ing. Is your wife fuck- own hands and glands and give es start at $1200, but hey, always to bang this tramp in three Glori- nication hints to make your wild- they have transformed into gift ing your best friend? your best girl the itchies and knowing where your pussy is at, ous holes! Brought to you by the est dreams come true. Also, sen- catalogs full of ads pushing AC/ Has your roommate scratchies she probably deserves is priceless. same geniuses who offer you latex sual techniques for pleasing both DC at Walmart, Guns n Roses at overstayed his wel- for the improprieties she might A satisfied customer raves, blowup sex with celebrity super- women and men are included, so Best Buy and P.Diddy’s new fra- come? This website have indulged in, even if it was “They work wonderfully. My wife skanks like Lindsay Lohan, Paris it is perfect for anyone. grance at Macys. Somewhere in is the perfect solution because of the fact that you’re an and I bought our Sarah several Hilton, J-Ho and more! between the ads you might find to rid yourself of just inadequate lover.” pairs so we can watch her around Instant Happy Childhood something to make you smile, about any social para- Check out their testimoni- the clock and if we see her tem- The Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex Memory Breath Spray but turning those pages is not an site in your life. als for satisfied customers, such perature rising too high, we inter- easy task when every third page Revenge crabs of- as: “I wasn’t sure if my boyfriend vene by calling her cellphone or falls out and shoves some product fers the following was cheating on me, so I bought just picking her up wherever she sample up your ass (thanks Brit- three levels of gift some crabs and put them on him is. My only comment is it would ney). Here at Exotic, to get into packages: one night after sex. Sure enough, be great to have a video camera, the holiday spirit, we put our own BRONZE: Single less than a week later [NAME maybe you can work that into little spin on things. No perfume Crabs Colony—this RETRACTED] from my office Version 2.” samples or chain store exclusives colony may contain couldn’t hardly sit for five min- here, dear readers. Instead, we as many as 50 indi- utes with all the itching she had. The “This is NOT Sarah Palin” have painstakingly scoured the vidual eggs in a single Thanks Revenge Crabs, you con- Sex Doll globe to try and find you some of clutch. These will firmed my suspicions!” Haley Y. Considering how obsessed the the most horrid gifts we can find hatch within days threat” or take advantage of vol- from Chicago, IL nation was with Republican Vice (we’re talking unquestionable of arrival and mature within the ume pricing. Share an order with This site has to be one of the Presidential Candidate Sarah re-gifting material here friends). following week. This package in- your buddies, they may want an most brilliant “pranks” I’ve ever Palin, it was only a matter of time Let’s take a peek in the back of Sa- clude a single four-ounce bottle of affordable way to get in on that witnessed. Or is it? Spend some Taking chastity into before someone created a love doll tan Claus’ hell-bound sleigh and delousing shampoo for your own action. Ships complete with de- time perusing their disclaimers the 21st Century! Now you can in her likeness. Created by adult see what the fat bastard picked use, in case of accidental self-af- tailed instructions, three four- and decide for yourself. But don’t not only invade on your woman’s product purveyors Topco, the Sar- out for you twisted fucks. fliction, and is yours for only $99 ounce bottles of delousing sham- delay, take advantage of their privacy, but you can even tell if her ah Palin blowup doll is known as plus shipping (sales tax in New poo for your own use (in case of monthly special and order their pussy gets wet while she’s dropping This is NOT Sarah Palin Inflatable Walking along the beach York only). accidental self-affliction or for major infestation package today the kids off at soccer practice! Hell, Love Doll. Featuring a busty, con- looking for seashells. SILVER: Three Crabs Colonies your sale as “the antidote”) and all and receive $10.00 off, plus a free these panties can even help ditzy servatively dressed Palin lookalike, Watching the world below Set—use the first one today and for the discounted price of $219 pack of bedbugs. blondes lost in shopping malls the box cover promises: “Cross You don’t have to be an idiot from the tree you just climbed. Revenge Crabs freeze the leftovers for up to 180 plus shipping (sales tax in New find their way out of Old Navy! party lines with your own inflat- to appreciate interesting and ef- Sneaking into the kitchen in We’re not talking about the days. Or use all three right away. York only). The All New Chastity Piercing If you’re looking to stalk you girl able running mate!” The political fective tips on how to give your the middle of the night to steal tasty crustaceans you boil in a pot It’s perfect if you have three vic- GOLD: NEW! Now offering a after she dumps your ass, have no love doll’s suggested uses include: lover the best oral sex they’ve some cookies. here, the friendly folks at www.re- tims in mind or if you really want limited supply of Shampoo-Resis- fear. These panties can give you her “Blow her up and show her how ever had. Hey, even if your oral Bringing home something to carpet bomb that tant Crabs! These guys can still be location and even her tem- you’re going to vote, let her pound sex technique have always left a from school with a gold star bomb carpet with a killed using the traditional meth- perature and heart rate, your gavel over and smile on her/his face, wouldn’t from the teacher. triple-dippy dose of ods, but instead of two shampoo without her ever even over and you want to find out how to take chiggers. Make treatments and two washings of knowing it’s there! Based it’s it even further and make their Ten minutes ago, I could not your empty everything the victim owns, this on pioneering research legs completely give out? Sur- have written the four sentences threat a particular crop can take as much developed by the U.S. prise your loved one with you just read. But I took a spray “triple as 10 days to kill off, even by the military at DARPA something new or of Instant Happy Childhood most diligent shampooing scrub- (Defense Advanced “blow” away your Memories and it all came flood- ber. Bred specially in the lab and Research Projects hot crush. ing back to me. This stuff is just guaranteed not to die by but by Agency), this product The Idiot’s Guide amazing. Just spray some of this 100 percent coverage of delous- brings revolutionary to Oral Sex is any- wintergreen-flavored miracle into ing solution. Ships with detailed technology previ- thing but that. It’s not your mouth and long-forgotten instructions and one 10-ounce ously only available loaded with informa- memories will rise to the surface. bottle of delousing shampoo. All to the military, to tion for complete idiots, Wait, another memory is coming yours for the low cost of just $298 you! instead it contains helpful to me... plus shipping (sales tax in New Worried your wife, daughter, These “pant- and fun information about Walking behind the athletic York only). lover or concubine is getting some ies” can trace our bodies and how to use equipment shed with Mr. Lacey, Why would you want to buy strange? Amazon.com actually the exact location parts of them to achieve ulti- my gym teacher. crabs? The site explains brilliant- sells an item called the Safe Lock of your woman mate pleasure. The way it is ex- No, wait a minute. I mean, ly: “The only answer to who Chastity Belt Barbell Steel Jew- and send the plained, though, is very clear and learning to play basketball. Yeah, gets crabs is everyone. Maybe elry Piercing. The barbell features information, understandable so there’s no big that’s the memory. Basketball. Really.

1 4 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m hen you think vengecrabs.com have not today or yesterday, but prob- a padlock, presumably to keep you via satellite, to your cell phone, time some male interns caused a hassle to figure out how to give about Xmas, you brought those nasty ably tomorrow, and if you don’t closed for business, however the PDA and PC simultaneously! scandal in the Capitol.” This blow- good head. think about fam- little crotch critters give it to your lover she’s going item’s description warns: “This Use the patented mapping sys- up sex doll could really satisfy the Inside this book you will find ily, credit card into the mainstream to give it to you because he/she doesn’t actually work, be sure to tem, pantyMap®, to find the swing voters. positions and techniques that will Wbills, crowded shopping malls, for all to enjoy. Pay is surely cheating on you. Don’t use secondary methods to protect exact location of your loved one Just in case you don’t mix enhance pleasure for both of you, over eating and about all the god- their site a visit and wait for the freight train of in- your virtue.” Now available at the 24 hours a day. The technology politics with sex (dolls), you can exercises that will improve your damn gifts you have to not only you’ll find out how evitability to run you down dead reduced price of $9.95. is embedded into a piece of fab- always pick up the all new Sarah stamina and performance, an easy give, but receive. Pick up a copy of you too can give the on the tracks of genital comfort- ric so seamlessly she will never Jessica Porkher “Sex in her Shit- to navigate guide to the female Rolling Stone or Maxim’s Decem- gift that keeps on giv- ability; take matters in to your GPS Bra and Panty Set know it’s there! Pricing packag- ty” love doll, which allows you and male anatomy and commu- ber issue and you will find that ing. Is your wife fuck- own hands and glands and give es start at $1200, but hey, always to bang this tramp in three Glori- nication hints to make your wild- they have transformed into gift ing your best friend? your best girl the itchies and knowing where your pussy is at, ous holes! Brought to you by the est dreams come true. Also, sen- catalogs full of ads pushing AC/ Has your roommate scratchies she probably deserves is priceless. same geniuses who offer you latex sual techniques for pleasing both DC at Walmart, Guns n Roses at overstayed his wel- for the improprieties she might A satisfied customer raves, blowup sex with celebrity super- women and men are included, so Best Buy and P.Diddy’s new fra- come? This website have indulged in, even if it was “They work wonderfully. My wife skanks like Lindsay Lohan, Paris it is perfect for anyone. grance at Macys. Somewhere in is the perfect solution because of the fact that you’re an and I bought our Sarah several Hilton, J-Ho and more! between the ads you might find to rid yourself of just inadequate lover.” pairs so we can watch her around Instant Happy Childhood something to make you smile, about any social para- Check out their testimoni- the clock and if we see her tem- The Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex Memory Breath Spray but turning those pages is not an site in your life. als for satisfied customers, such perature rising too high, we inter- easy task when every third page Revenge crabs of- as: “I wasn’t sure if my boyfriend vene by calling her cellphone or falls out and shoves some product fers the following was cheating on me, so I bought just picking her up wherever she sample up your ass (thanks Brit- three levels of gift some crabs and put them on him is. My only comment is it would ney). Here at Exotic, to get into packages: one night after sex. Sure enough, be great to have a video camera, the holiday spirit, we put our own BRONZE: Single less than a week later [NAME maybe you can work that into little spin on things. No perfume Crabs Colony—this RETRACTED] from my office Version 2.” samples or chain store exclusives colony may contain couldn’t hardly sit for five min- here, dear readers. Instead, we as many as 50 indi- utes with all the itching she had. The “This is NOT Sarah Palin” have painstakingly scoured the vidual eggs in a single Thanks Revenge Crabs, you con- Sex Doll globe to try and find you some of clutch. These will firmed my suspicions!” Haley Y. Considering how obsessed the the most horrid gifts we can find hatch within days threat” or take advantage of vol- from Chicago, IL nation was with Republican Vice (we’re talking unquestionable of arrival and mature within the ume pricing. Share an order with This site has to be one of the Presidential Candidate Sarah re-gifting material here friends). following week. This package in- your buddies, they may want an most brilliant “pranks” I’ve ever Palin, it was only a matter of time Let’s take a peek in the back of Sa- clude a single four-ounce bottle of affordable way to get in on that witnessed. Or is it? Spend some Taking chastity into before someone created a love doll tan Claus’ hell-bound sleigh and delousing shampoo for your own action. Ships complete with de- time perusing their disclaimers the 21st Century! Now you can in her likeness. Created by adult see what the fat bastard picked use, in case of accidental self-af- tailed instructions, three four- and decide for yourself. But don’t not only invade on your woman’s product purveyors Topco, the Sar- out for you twisted fucks. fliction, and is yours for only $99 ounce bottles of delousing sham- delay, take advantage of their privacy, but you can even tell if her ah Palin blowup doll is known as plus shipping (sales tax in New poo for your own use (in case of monthly special and order their pussy gets wet while she’s dropping This is NOT Sarah Palin Inflatable Walking along the beach York only). accidental self-affliction or for major infestation package today the kids off at soccer practice! Hell, Love Doll. Featuring a busty, con- looking for seashells. SILVER: Three Crabs Colonies your sale as “the antidote”) and all and receive $10.00 off, plus a free these panties can even help ditzy servatively dressed Palin lookalike, Watching the world below Set—use the first one today and for the discounted price of $219 pack of bedbugs. blondes lost in shopping malls the box cover promises: “Cross You don’t have to be an idiot from the tree you just climbed. Revenge Crabs freeze the leftovers for up to 180 plus shipping (sales tax in New find their way out of Old Navy! party lines with your own inflat- to appreciate interesting and ef- Sneaking into the kitchen in We’re not talking about the days. Or use all three right away. York only). The All New Chastity Piercing If you’re looking to stalk you girl able running mate!” The political fective tips on how to give your the middle of the night to steal tasty crustaceans you boil in a pot It’s perfect if you have three vic- GOLD: NEW! Now offering a after she dumps your ass, have no love doll’s suggested uses include: lover the best oral sex they’ve some cookies. here, the friendly folks at www.re- tims in mind or if you really want limited supply of Shampoo-Resis- fear. These panties can give you her “Blow her up and show her how ever had. Hey, even if your oral Bringing home something to carpet bomb that tant Crabs! These guys can still be location and even her tem- you’re going to vote, let her pound sex technique have always left a from school with a gold star bomb carpet with a killed using the traditional meth- perature and heart rate, your gavel over and smile on her/his face, wouldn’t from the teacher. triple-dippy dose of ods, but instead of two shampoo without her ever even over and you want to find out how to take chiggers. Make treatments and two washings of knowing it’s there! Based it’s it even further and make their Ten minutes ago, I could not your empty everything the victim owns, this on pioneering research legs completely give out? Sur- have written the four sentences threat a particular crop can take as much developed by the U.S. prise your loved one with you just read. But I took a spray “triple as 10 days to kill off, even by the military at DARPA something new or of Instant Happy Childhood most diligent shampooing scrub- (Defense Advanced “blow” away your Memories and it all came flood- ber. Bred specially in the lab and Research Projects hot crush. ing back to me. This stuff is just guaranteed not to die by but by Agency), this product The Idiot’s Guide amazing. Just spray some of this 100 percent coverage of delous- brings revolutionary to Oral Sex is any- wintergreen-flavored miracle into ing solution. Ships with detailed technology previ- thing but that. It’s not your mouth and long-forgotten instructions and one 10-ounce ously only available loaded with informa- memories will rise to the surface. bottle of delousing shampoo. All to the military, to tion for complete idiots, Wait, another memory is coming yours for the low cost of just $298 you! instead it contains helpful to me... plus shipping (sales tax in New Worried your wife, daughter, These “pant- and fun information about Walking behind the athletic York only). lover or concubine is getting some ies” can trace our bodies and how to use equipment shed with Mr. Lacey, Why would you want to buy strange? Amazon.com actually the exact location parts of them to achieve ulti- my gym teacher. crabs? The site explains brilliant- sells an item called the Safe Lock of your woman mate pleasure. The way it is ex- No, wait a minute. I mean, ly: “The only answer to who Chastity Belt Barbell Steel Jew- and send the plained, though, is very clear and learning to play basketball. Yeah, gets crabs is everyone. Maybe elry Piercing. The barbell features information, understandable so there’s no big that’s the memory. Basketball. Really.

e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 1 5 1 6 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 1 7 1 8 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 1 9 2 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 2 1 oly shit, it’s Christmas. A time when all the hustle and bustle Thursday, December 25th – Christmas Day - Cocktails and Dreams of the holiday can leave you so overwhelmed and exhausted, – Open Christmas Day at 5 p.m. Stop in to see who will take home the Mon- all you can think about is knocking back a couple of pounders ster (Energy Drink) refrigerator for Christmas. at the rack while your favorite dancer reminds you what you Cheetahs (Salem) – Free Xmas dinner with paid admission. H The Dolphin Clubs – Free Christmas Dinner. really wanted to unwrap under your tree. Here at Exotic, we’re a Jody’s – Free Xmas Buffet. bit overwhelmed ourselves. Due to the fact Exotica – Open at 5 p.m. that this month’s issue showcases a record DV8 – Open at 6 p.m. breaking amount of advertiser support, I’m Wednesday, December 31st – New Year’s Eve - gonna go ahead and spare you the usual Cabaret I and II – New Year’s Eve Party at both rant that is regularly offered as foreplay to locations with lots of prize giveaways, specials and your Erotic City event listing. As I’m writing feature shows. this, I am finally preparing for the move back Stars Beaverton – Second Annual Masquerade to the Rose City from Seattle on December Ball New Year’s Party. 1st, so I can no longer admire you from afar. DV8 – Ring in the New Year at DV8 with Huge Heffner and the Playboy Bunny Pajama Party, Come next month, I’ll be back in the thick of where all sleepwear is encouraged and there will be it bitches, so be forewarned. Spooky will be food, champagne and party gifts for all. back. Until then, have a spectacular holiday Devils Point – 80s New Year’s Party. Live music, season Portland. Enjoy the show. dancers, 80s tunes all night! Jody’s – New Year’s Eve Party with Jell-O shots and FEATURED EVENTS specials all night long. Monday, December 1st - Devils Point – Sagit- Pirate’s Cove – New Year’s Eve PJ Party with no tarius fire sign party. Fire dancers, boobies, gifts for cover all night long. Sagittarians. The Big Bang – New Year’s Eve PJ Party with no Tuesday, December 2nd - Cheetahs (Salem) – 2- cover all night long. for-1 Tuesday. Pussycats Cabaret (Springfield) – New Year’s Eve Party. Friday, December 5th - Devils Point – Repeal Day Thursday, January 1st – New Years Day - The Bash. Come celebrate the end of prohibition, D.P. Dolphin Clubs – Free New Years Dinner. style. Live music, fire dancers, strippers and booze! Thursday, January 8th - The Dolphin Clubs Pirate’s Cove – Santa’s List Friday. – The Northwest Pole Championships begin. The Big Bang! – Santa’s List Friday. WEEKLY EVENTS Saturday, December 6th - Exotica – Third An- MONDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em nual Winter Freeze V.I.P. Event at 9 p.m. with give- Tournament. aways all night, beverage specials, complimentary TUESDAYS - Stars Beaverton – Totally Awesome food and a chance to win a Belvedere snowboard. Tuesdays, Dec. 2nd Toy drive, Dec. 9th Clothing Wednesday, December 10th - Cheetahs (Salem) Drive, Dec. 16th Turkey Drive, (six-month V.I.P. – Amateur Night with $100 prize. membership when you bring in a full-size turkey), Monday, December 15th - Cheetahs (Salem) Dec. 23rd Food Drive, Dec. 30th Blanket Drive – Military Monday, free entry with military I.D. (bring three non-perishable or canned food items for free entry). Pirate’s Cove – Chocolate Covered Party. WEDNESDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament. The Big Bang – Chocolate Covered Party. FRIDAYS - Pallas – Free Porn Fridays sponsored by Still Smokin’. Wednesday, December 17th - Devils Point – Fourth annual Bad Christmas SUNDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament. Sweater and Moustache Contest. EXOTIC SUGGESTS Prizes, specials, moustache rides and one gynormous grand prize. Stop by Carnaval for all new affordable prices with $5 admission and Thursday, December 18th - Cheetahs (Salem) – Ladies’ Night, free admis- $10 lap dances. Welcome to Club Rouge, a brand new club opening in sion for the ladies. mid-December downtown at Southwest Stark and Fourth Avenue (now The Dolphin Clubs – Miss Nude Oregon 2007 Natalia’s birthday party at 9 p.m. hiring for all positions call (503) 227-3936). Check out Hotties new 2-for- Friday, December 19th - Safari Showclub –.Grand Re-Opening Party. 1 admission on Sunday through Thursday. Joey’s, another kick ass club in Cheetahs (Salem) – XXXmas Party Part 1. the Southeast is now open on Tuesday to Saturday from 4 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Saturday, December 20th - Stars Beaverton – Naughty and Nice Christ- at Southeast Stark and 175th Avenue where there’s never a cover charge. mas Party. Featuring the girls of Jody’s and private pole dances in their intimate V.I.P. DV8 –Badder Santa and his naughty elfettes arrive and party down at 9 p.m. room. Plus $2 Pabst (now hiring, call Kristen at (503) 415-1302). Have your photo taken with the baddest Santa this side of the North Pole Safari Showclub is now under new ownership, featuring new hot girls and get your naughty gifts from our elfettes. and $5 bento bowls. Stars Salem – XXXmas Party Saturday. Star Salem has the holiday spirit, where you can get 30 custom XXXmas Doc’s Club 82 – KKP Presents Pimps and cards with you and two of Santa’s sexiest helpers. Stop by for your own Ho, Ho, Hoes Christmas Party featuring photo shoot Dec. 1st through Dec. 13th. You can also stop by for free gift Deck The Balls performing your favorite wrapping Dec. 1st to Dec. 23rd between 4 and 7 p.m. For more holiday Christmas carols, a Santa suck-off, eat Mrs. shopping, stop by Tony’s Smoke Shop to check out their huge selection Claus’ pudding and an extra special perfor- of custom glass. Why not pay a visit to the Adult Shops all-new Eugene mance by Kali Kane. location. Frolics is giving your Xmas dollar more bang for your buck at Cheetahs (Salem) – XXXmas Party Part 2. their Holiday Super Sale with up to 70 percent off novelties, lingerie, gifts, Sunday, December 21st - Doc’s Club 82 shoes and more. Don’t forget to stop by your neighborhood Taboo Video –Up and Coming Entertainment presents where all $9.95 DVDs are three for $20 and you can enter to win a $250 Ian’s birthday bash with Proven and special holiday gift basket. guests. Exotic and The Boom Boom Room would like to apologize to Sarah Wednesday, December 24th Poison for the unauthorized use of her image in our November issue. – Christmas Eve The bastards responsible have been dealt with using extreme prejudice. They’ll never work in this town again, and will probably not be able to shit right for a week.

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m …continued on page 30 oly shit, it’s Christmas. A time when all the hustle and bustle Thursday, December 25th – Christmas Day - Cocktails and Dreams of the holiday can leave you so overwhelmed and exhausted, – Open Christmas Day at 5 p.m. Stop in to see who will take home the Mon- all you can think about is knocking back a couple of pounders ster (Energy Drink) refrigerator for Christmas. at the rack while your favorite dancer reminds you what you Cheetahs (Salem) – Free Xmas dinner with paid admission. H The Dolphin Clubs – Free Christmas Dinner. really wanted to unwrap under your tree. Here at Exotic, we’re a Jody’s – Free Xmas Buffet. bit overwhelmed ourselves. Due to the fact Exotica – Open at 5 p.m. that this month’s issue showcases a record DV8 – Open at 6 p.m. breaking amount of advertiser support, I’m Wednesday, December 31st – New Year’s Eve - gonna go ahead and spare you the usual Cabaret I and II – New Year’s Eve Party at both rant that is regularly offered as foreplay to locations with lots of prize giveaways, specials and your Erotic City event listing. As I’m writing feature shows. this, I am finally preparing for the move back Stars Beaverton – Second Annual Masquerade to the Rose City from Seattle on December Ball New Year’s Party. 1st, so I can no longer admire you from afar. DV8 – Ring in the New Year at DV8 with Huge Heffner and the Playboy Bunny Pajama Party, Come next month, I’ll be back in the thick of where all sleepwear is encouraged and there will be it bitches, so be forewarned. Spooky will be food, champagne and party gifts for all. back. Until then, have a spectacular holiday Devils Point – 80s New Year’s Party. Live music, season Portland. Enjoy the show. dancers, 80s tunes all night! Jody’s – New Year’s Eve Party with Jell-O shots and FEATURED EVENTS specials all night long. Monday, December 1st - Devils Point – Sagit- Pirate’s Cove – New Year’s Eve PJ Party with no tarius fire sign party. Fire dancers, boobies, gifts for cover all night long. Sagittarians. The Big Bang – New Year’s Eve PJ Party with no Tuesday, December 2nd - Cheetahs (Salem) – 2- cover all night long. for-1 Tuesday. Pussycats Cabaret (Springfield) – New Year’s Eve Party. Friday, December 5th - Devils Point – Repeal Day Thursday, January 1st – New Years Day - The Bash. Come celebrate the end of prohibition, D.P. Dolphin Clubs – Free New Years Dinner. style. Live music, fire dancers, strippers and booze! Thursday, January 8th - The Dolphin Clubs Pirate’s Cove – Santa’s List Friday. – The Northwest Pole Championships begin. The Big Bang! – Santa’s List Friday. WEEKLY EVENTS Saturday, December 6th - Exotica – Third An- MONDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em nual Winter Freeze V.I.P. Event at 9 p.m. with give- Tournament. aways all night, beverage specials, complimentary TUESDAYS - Stars Beaverton – Totally Awesome food and a chance to win a Belvedere snowboard. Tuesdays, Dec. 2nd Toy drive, Dec. 9th Clothing Wednesday, December 10th - Cheetahs (Salem) Drive, Dec. 16th Turkey Drive, (six-month V.I.P. – Amateur Night with $100 prize. membership when you bring in a full-size turkey), Monday, December 15th - Cheetahs (Salem) Dec. 23rd Food Drive, Dec. 30th Blanket Drive – Military Monday, free entry with military I.D. (bring three non-perishable or canned food items for free entry). Pirate’s Cove – Chocolate Covered Party. WEDNESDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament. The Big Bang – Chocolate Covered Party. FRIDAYS - Pallas – Free Porn Fridays sponsored by Still Smokin’. Wednesday, December 17th - Devils Point – Fourth annual Bad Christmas SUNDAYS - Safari Showclub – Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament. Sweater and Moustache Contest. EXOTIC SUGGESTS Prizes, specials, moustache rides and one gynormous grand prize. Stop by Carnaval for all new affordable prices with $5 admission and Thursday, December 18th - Cheetahs (Salem) – Ladies’ Night, free admis- $10 lap dances. Welcome to Club Rouge, a brand new club opening in sion for the ladies. mid-December downtown at Southwest Stark and Fourth Avenue (now The Dolphin Clubs – Miss Nude Oregon 2007 Natalia’s birthday party at 9 p.m. hiring for all positions call (503) 227-3936). Check out Hotties new 2-for- Friday, December 19th - Safari Showclub –.Grand Re-Opening Party. 1 admission on Sunday through Thursday. Joey’s, another kick ass club in Cheetahs (Salem) – XXXmas Party Part 1. the Southeast is now open on Tuesday to Saturday from 4 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Saturday, December 20th - Stars Beaverton – Naughty and Nice Christ- at Southeast Stark and 175th Avenue where there’s never a cover charge. mas Party. Featuring the girls of Jody’s and private pole dances in their intimate V.I.P. DV8 –Badder Santa and his naughty elfettes arrive and party down at 9 p.m. room. Plus $2 Pabst (now hiring, call Kristen at (503) 415-1302). Have your photo taken with the baddest Santa this side of the North Pole Safari Showclub is now under new ownership, featuring new hot girls and get your naughty gifts from our elfettes. and $5 bento bowls. Stars Salem – XXXmas Party Saturday. Star Salem has the holiday spirit, where you can get 30 custom XXXmas Doc’s Club 82 – KKP Presents Pimps and cards with you and two of Santa’s sexiest helpers. Stop by for your own Ho, Ho, Hoes Christmas Party featuring photo shoot Dec. 1st through Dec. 13th. You can also stop by for free gift Deck The Balls performing your favorite wrapping Dec. 1st to Dec. 23rd between 4 and 7 p.m. For more holiday Christmas carols, a Santa suck-off, eat Mrs. shopping, stop by Tony’s Smoke Shop to check out their huge selection Claus’ pudding and an extra special perfor- of custom glass. Why not pay a visit to the Adult Shops all-new Eugene mance by Kali Kane. location. Frolics is giving your Xmas dollar more bang for your buck at Cheetahs (Salem) – XXXmas Party Part 2. their Holiday Super Sale with up to 70 percent off novelties, lingerie, gifts, Sunday, December 21st - Doc’s Club 82 shoes and more. Don’t forget to stop by your neighborhood Taboo Video –Up and Coming Entertainment presents where all $9.95 DVDs are three for $20 and you can enter to win a $250 Ian’s birthday bash with Proven and special holiday gift basket. guests. Exotic and The Boom Boom Room would like to apologize to Sarah Wednesday, December 24th Poison for the unauthorized use of her image in our November issue. – Christmas Eve The bastards responsible have been dealt with using extreme prejudice. They’ll never work in this town again, and will probably not be able to shit right for a week.

…continued on page 30 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m     e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   of the scientists that haven’t been turned into minimal appreciation while the dead bitches flesh-eating undead. When briefing Z Squad on make all the bank? The living strippers soon their mission the lead scientists explains, “The find themselves banished to the dressing room virus is based on the human X chromosome, while the zombie strippers rule the stage. As so it stays more pure from woman to woman. the customer body count piles up beneath the But once you get a man in there, like everything VIP room, the strippers sacrifice themselves else, it all goes to shit.” to their undead Queen one by one, joining in Once Z Squad eventually loses control, one on her lust for flesh. of their members gets bitten and flees into a The final showdown, cat-fight scene be- tunnel which leads to an underground strip tween Jenna and her nemesis Jeannie is a ri- club (Bush has outlawed all nudity) named diculously perfect ending to an outrageously “The Neon Rhino,” owned by Ian (played by silly flick. Finally turned to the undead by a Freddy Kreuger himself, Robert Englund, in zombie patron, Jeannie challenges a progres- a hilarious role as an OCD, who sprays the sively rotting Kat to a strip-off as they literally strippers with Lysol if they get near him) an rip the flesh from each others bones (for some NRA card toting, (who doesn’t know how to miraculous reason the strippers tits never use a gun but embraces his right to stockpile seem to show too much decay, could be the sa- them) opportunistic prick. line), after Kat is struck down she still battles TAKING A BITE OUT OF This brings us to the obvious stars of the on with a new twist on the old “stripper ping- flick—the strippers. Leading the pack is leg- pong ball trick.” ZOMBIE STRIPPERS endary porn goddess Jenna Jameson as Kat, By Mort Ishin the queen bitch of the Rhino. Jenna finally To begin, I’d like to apologize for not re- found herself a role which made her look viewing this flick during its very short run pretty good in real life, (in spite of her mul- as a theatrical release (it only lasted about a tiple botched plastic surgeries). Especially week at the indie theater it was featured at). when you compare her to her rotted undead Fortunately, as suspected, the DVD release alter-ego that she transforms into once the date wasn’t too far behind. Zombie Strippers contagious team member of Z Squad takes takes on two genres of film I’ve always held a chunk out of her throat during her feature dear to my heart. Actually, I should probably performance (in both living and undead full rephrase that, I’ve always held strippers dear frontal nudity). to my heart, yet their depiction in film has Jenna’s clothing-deficient underlings in- usually been more frightening than the most clude goth bad girl Lilith (played by Roxy terrifying of zombie flicks. Mixing the un- Saint who also contributes to the flicks rock- dead with strippers has even been tackled a in’ soundtrack), a fresh from Nebraska vir- time or two with From Dusk ‘Til Dawn and ginal princess named Jessy (Jennifer Holland) Planet Terror. Yet both of these films fell flat plus Jenna’s arch-rival and nemesis Jeannie at doing justice to either subject. So when (played by Playboy model Shamron Moore). I slid the DVD into the player, it was with Also tossed in is Jenna’s boytoy and UFC stud great skepticism and total expectation of wit- Tito Ortiz, as a bouncer who runs away and nessing a complete suckfest. I couldn’t have squeals like a bitch when the zombie bedlam been more wrong. breaks out. Also in the cast is a Latino, donkey In a near future, President George Bush has loving janitor, Paco (Joey Medina), whose ste- been elected for the fourth time (along with reo-typed one-liners peak when he takes the VP Arnold Schwarzenegger) and the war torn old, “we don’t need no stinking badges” line to USA has expanded its battlefront in Iraq to new levels of hilarity. Syria, Lebanon, Venezuela, France and yes, even Once Jenna turns into the undead, she rises Alaska. Due to the mass casualties of American from a pool of gore, staggers into the dress- lives in G-Dub’s escalated world war on “ter- ing room, sneers “Fuck it, I’m gonna dance” ror,” the government is researching a virus to re- and pounces on the stage unleashing her new Overall, director Jay Lee scores big in my animate the dead tissue of deceased soldiers in undead enhanced pole skills and tricks. The book. Zombie Strippers is absolutely ter- hopes of creating a powerful army patrons’ reaction to Jenna’s dance of the dead rible, as in terribly perfect. The film definitely of invincible undead. When flips from shock and awe to ecstatic worship doesn’t pull any punches in the gore depart- the experiment goes wrong as they carpet the stage with every last dollar ment and actually surprised me with some and gets out of control, an they own. She selects herself a jaw-dropping splatter FX. Zombie Strippers elite team of military trick from the actually managed to capture some realism bad asses, known crowd, lures him about how a seedy little strip club ticks. From as Z Squad, are into the VIP for the competitive nature of the dancers as they brought in to a little oral fore- are forced to decide how far the will go for the assist the last play, followed extra buck, to the opportunistic club owner by a brutal ready to pounce on the next big thing to the castration and blindly desperate patrons being led like lambs lunch. As to the slaughter all in hopes of a little special the rest of treatment in the VIP. But all realism aside, the Rhino there is the whole zombie thing, and in all my dancers dis- years I’ve seen some strippers that definitely cover that the nude made me wonder if they were alive or dead. undead are a tough act to follow, But I’ve never once seen a stripper eat a cock they are each faced with a choice: do they after she bites it off. Nope, never. conform to the new undead fad or work for

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m of the scientists that haven’t been turned into minimal appreciation while the dead bitches flesh-eating undead. When briefing Z Squad on make all the bank? The living strippers soon their mission the lead scientists explains, “The find themselves banished to the dressing room virus is based on the human X chromosome, while the zombie strippers rule the stage. As so it stays more pure from woman to woman. the customer body count piles up beneath the But once you get a man in there, like everything VIP room, the strippers sacrifice themselves else, it all goes to shit.” to their undead Queen one by one, joining in Once Z Squad eventually loses control, one on her lust for flesh. of their members gets bitten and flees into a The final showdown, cat-fight scene be- tunnel which leads to an underground strip tween Jenna and her nemesis Jeannie is a ri- club (Bush has outlawed all nudity) named diculously perfect ending to an outrageously “The Neon Rhino,” owned by Ian (played by silly flick. Finally turned to the undead by a Freddy Kreuger himself, Robert Englund, in zombie patron, Jeannie challenges a progres- a hilarious role as an OCD, who sprays the sively rotting Kat to a strip-off as they literally strippers with Lysol if they get near him) an rip the flesh from each others bones (for some NRA card toting, (who doesn’t know how to miraculous reason the strippers tits never use a gun but embraces his right to stockpile seem to show too much decay, could be the sa- them) opportunistic prick. line), after Kat is struck down she still battles TAKING A BITE OUT OF This brings us to the obvious stars of the on with a new twist on the old “stripper ping- flick—the strippers. Leading the pack is leg- pong ball trick.” ZOMBIE STRIPPERS endary porn goddess Jenna Jameson as Kat, By Mort Ishin the queen bitch of the Rhino. Jenna finally To begin, I’d like to apologize for not re- found herself a role which made her look viewing this flick during its very short run pretty good in real life, (in spite of her mul- as a theatrical release (it only lasted about a tiple botched plastic surgeries). Especially week at the indie theater it was featured at). when you compare her to her rotted undead Fortunately, as suspected, the DVD release alter-ego that she transforms into once the date wasn’t too far behind. Zombie Strippers contagious team member of Z Squad takes takes on two genres of film I’ve always held a chunk out of her throat during her feature dear to my heart. Actually, I should probably performance (in both living and undead full rephrase that, I’ve always held strippers dear frontal nudity). to my heart, yet their depiction in film has Jenna’s clothing-deficient underlings in- usually been more frightening than the most clude goth bad girl Lilith (played by Roxy terrifying of zombie flicks. Mixing the un- Saint who also contributes to the flicks rock- dead with strippers has even been tackled a in’ soundtrack), a fresh from Nebraska vir- time or two with From Dusk ‘Til Dawn and ginal princess named Jessy (Jennifer Holland) Planet Terror. Yet both of these films fell flat plus Jenna’s arch-rival and nemesis Jeannie at doing justice to either subject. So when (played by Playboy model Shamron Moore). I slid the DVD into the player, it was with Also tossed in is Jenna’s boytoy and UFC stud great skepticism and total expectation of wit- Tito Ortiz, as a bouncer who runs away and nessing a complete suckfest. I couldn’t have squeals like a bitch when the zombie bedlam been more wrong. breaks out. Also in the cast is a Latino, donkey In a near future, President George Bush has loving janitor, Paco (Joey Medina), whose ste- been elected for the fourth time (along with reo-typed one-liners peak when he takes the VP Arnold Schwarzenegger) and the war torn old, “we don’t need no stinking badges” line to USA has expanded its battlefront in Iraq to new levels of hilarity. Syria, Lebanon, Venezuela, France and yes, even Once Jenna turns into the undead, she rises Alaska. Due to the mass casualties of American from a pool of gore, staggers into the dress- lives in G-Dub’s escalated world war on “ter- ing room, sneers “Fuck it, I’m gonna dance” ror,” the government is researching a virus to re- and pounces on the stage unleashing her new Overall, director Jay Lee scores big in my animate the dead tissue of deceased soldiers in undead enhanced pole skills and tricks. The book. Zombie Strippers is absolutely ter- hopes of creating a powerful army patrons’ reaction to Jenna’s dance of the dead rible, as in terribly perfect. The film definitely of invincible undead. When flips from shock and awe to ecstatic worship doesn’t pull any punches in the gore depart- the experiment goes wrong as they carpet the stage with every last dollar ment and actually surprised me with some and gets out of control, an they own. She selects herself a jaw-dropping splatter FX. Zombie Strippers elite team of military trick from the actually managed to capture some realism bad asses, known crowd, lures him about how a seedy little strip club ticks. From as Z Squad, are into the VIP for the competitive nature of the dancers as they brought in to a little oral fore- are forced to decide how far the will go for the assist the last play, followed extra buck, to the opportunistic club owner by a brutal ready to pounce on the next big thing to the castration and blindly desperate patrons being led like lambs lunch. As to the slaughter all in hopes of a little special the rest of treatment in the VIP. But all realism aside, the Rhino there is the whole zombie thing, and in all my dancers dis- years I’ve seen some strippers that definitely cover that the nude made me wonder if they were alive or dead. undead are a tough act to follow, But I’ve never once seen a stripper eat a cock they are each faced with a choice: do they after she bites it off. Nope, never. conform to the new undead fad or work for

e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   and feet, followed by shoving the lime green tights she rips off her amazing legs into her holiest of holes. She totally redeems herself with her climax while simultaneously striking a classic pin-up pose. Getting right back into the action, we continue with fembot blondes SQ-24 and TS-64 (Lacie Heart and Ashley Steel). The most memorable part of this scene is when these lost-in-space robo-sluts in search of LIMPs secret space station pass the time by busting out an air brush, crank up the psi and enjoy some mind blowing results. The storyline is null by now, fellow readers, now we’re just looking for what’s gonna happen next. Directly following these sultry vixens, Anita Goodbang (Tyler Houston) shows her girls how it’s done and finally pulls in the first male cockstar Rock Cockman (James Deen). Anita pushes THE BLUE REVIEW her way into Rock’s hotrod to plant a tracking device, but By Miss Scarlett who the fuck cares. If you like cum, spit and cock this is your Sixty’s spy parodies—outrageous, retro glamour and sets scene. After leaving the hot rod garage, directors Ron Royster stolen right out of an Austin Powers flick may not exactly be and Winkytiki take you to a strip tease bathroom scene where your atypical elements for a XXX porn. Enter Atomic Vixens: Roxy Brown (Marie Luv), a fishnet-clad, black, bad-ass booty Valley of the Sluts where we start a journey into the chicks goddess is being spied on by LIMP agents via their rubber devil versus dicks. The “villains,” L.I.M.P. (our outnumbered cast duck surveillance device in her lathery shower scene. For the of studs), are out to rule the female species via there awesome most part, she just teases the shit out of you for ten minutes, moon station, heavily equipped with killer lasers. The threat until squirting colorful bottles of goo on her curvaceous body to destroy major cities doesn’t seem to phase these sex driven and busting out her innovative glass dildo where she gets to the bitches. Doubting LIMPs ability to command and conquer, point with some wet stabbing action. these ladies pull out all the stops, send in their probes and Now the last, and certainly not least scene, introduces Jenna make complete fools out of their male counterparts (mostly St. James (Leah Luv) as a ditsy blonde agent captured by the by pure distraction.) LIMP agency and taken to the the elusive Deuce (Kyle Moore) The cast of double agents, fembots and spy girls kicks off where she administers a scary fucking blow job. I don’t know with Mika Tan and Jade Starr busting out with a little girl-on- how to explain other than to state the obvious; this actress girl action. While digging for a double agent-infiltrator, Agent looked like Courtney Love with braces. I was actually scared for Ivanava (Jade Starr) enjoys a dinner of sushi, served on her newly her co-star. While I was hoping for a trashy climax (expecting initiated agent friend Jade Minx’s (Mika Tan) belly and starts Jenna to be more than capable of slutty behavior), instead of the interrogation with fingers, taunting tongue and nibbling a load in the face accompanied by dirty talk, all we received teeth. Not wasting any time getting her clit wet, Ivanava takes is Deuce dumping his load into Jenna’s cupped hands. Her charge of her busty Asian friend and lets her know where her hands? What the fuck?! End scene. G-spot is. The scene ends with Ivanava licking and sticking In closing, I don’t know if I’d recommend going out to buy her favorite co-star with some titillating toy play and sending a this stylish and retro flick, but it’s definitely worth a trip to gasping Jade into truth-serum-like orgasms. (Got to hand it to your local porn shop for a rental. Not the best plot, but it got the person in charge of selecting all the penetration devices for my juice flowing in the first this film, they all totally kick ass in color, size and shape.) few sets. But hey, that’s what Putting the sting on the first double agent only gets you ready these films are for right? for the second and third scene where each is introduced with a Till next time, may all your brief comic-book page-style exposition. These brief storyboard dreams be wet ones. updates that separate the scenes are seriously hard to follow, especially if you’re like me and not all that interested in the story in the first place. If you’re arguing with me right now and claim you’re really in it for the storyline, I call bullshit! Whether you’re rocking it on the couch with your significant other or pounding out your own loads, who the fuck is actually getting off on the storyline. Please! The best kind of porn’s are the ones that get straight to the point, set you up and then let you finish it off. Atomic Vixens pretty much delivers exactly that (regardless of the strange imperfections in the final scene). What about scenes two through five? If you’re a fetish fan and you dig toes, lime green tights and milky white brunette chicks, you’re going to dig the shit out of the White Queen’s (Justine Joli) set. Turned on by her amazing and very convincing orgasms in the end of this scene, I couldn’t help but cringe a little when she enters her five minute long scene of very limberly sucking her own toes

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m and feet, followed by shoving the lime green tights she rips off her amazing legs into her holiest of holes. She totally redeems herself with her climax while simultaneously striking a classic pin-up pose. Getting right back into the action, we continue with fembot blondes SQ-24 and TS-64 (Lacie Heart and Ashley Steel). The most memorable part of this scene is when these lost-in-space robo-sluts in search of LIMPs secret space station pass the time by busting out an air brush, crank up the psi and enjoy some mind blowing results. The storyline is null by now, fellow readers, now we’re just looking for what’s gonna happen next. Directly following these sultry vixens, Anita Goodbang (Tyler Houston) shows her girls how it’s done and finally pulls in the first male cockstar Rock Cockman (James Deen). Anita pushes THE BLUE REVIEW her way into Rock’s hotrod to plant a tracking device, but By Miss Scarlett who the fuck cares. If you like cum, spit and cock this is your Sixty’s spy parodies—outrageous, retro glamour and sets scene. After leaving the hot rod garage, directors Ron Royster stolen right out of an Austin Powers flick may not exactly be and Winkytiki take you to a strip tease bathroom scene where your atypical elements for a XXX porn. Enter Atomic Vixens: Roxy Brown (Marie Luv), a fishnet-clad, black, bad-ass booty Valley of the Sluts where we start a journey into the chicks goddess is being spied on by LIMP agents via their rubber devil versus dicks. The “villains,” L.I.M.P. (our outnumbered cast duck surveillance device in her lathery shower scene. For the of studs), are out to rule the female species via there awesome most part, she just teases the shit out of you for ten minutes, moon station, heavily equipped with killer lasers. The threat until squirting colorful bottles of goo on her curvaceous body to destroy major cities doesn’t seem to phase these sex driven and busting out her innovative glass dildo where she gets to the bitches. Doubting LIMPs ability to command and conquer, point with some wet stabbing action. these ladies pull out all the stops, send in their probes and Now the last, and certainly not least scene, introduces Jenna make complete fools out of their male counterparts (mostly St. James (Leah Luv) as a ditsy blonde agent captured by the by pure distraction.) LIMP agency and taken to the the elusive Deuce (Kyle Moore) The cast of double agents, fembots and spy girls kicks off where she administers a scary fucking blow job. I don’t know with Mika Tan and Jade Starr busting out with a little girl-on- how to explain other than to state the obvious; this actress girl action. While digging for a double agent-infiltrator, Agent looked like Courtney Love with braces. I was actually scared for Ivanava (Jade Starr) enjoys a dinner of sushi, served on her newly her co-star. While I was hoping for a trashy climax (expecting initiated agent friend Jade Minx’s (Mika Tan) belly and starts Jenna to be more than capable of slutty behavior), instead of the interrogation with fingers, taunting tongue and nibbling a load in the face accompanied by dirty talk, all we received teeth. Not wasting any time getting her clit wet, Ivanava takes is Deuce dumping his load into Jenna’s cupped hands. Her charge of her busty Asian friend and lets her know where her hands? What the fuck?! End scene. G-spot is. The scene ends with Ivanava licking and sticking In closing, I don’t know if I’d recommend going out to buy her favorite co-star with some titillating toy play and sending a this stylish and retro flick, but it’s definitely worth a trip to gasping Jade into truth-serum-like orgasms. (Got to hand it to your local porn shop for a rental. Not the best plot, but it got the person in charge of selecting all the penetration devices for my juice flowing in the first this film, they all totally kick ass in color, size and shape.) few sets. But hey, that’s what Putting the sting on the first double agent only gets you ready these films are for right? for the second and third scene where each is introduced with a Till next time, may all your brief comic-book page-style exposition. These brief storyboard dreams be wet ones. updates that separate the scenes are seriously hard to follow, especially if you’re like me and not all that interested in the story in the first place. If you’re arguing with me right now and claim you’re really in it for the storyline, I call bullshit! Whether you’re rocking it on the couch with your significant other or pounding out your own loads, who the fuck is actually getting off on the storyline. Please! The best kind of porn’s are the ones that get straight to the point, set you up and then let you finish it off. Atomic Vixens pretty much delivers exactly that (regardless of the strange imperfections in the final scene). What about scenes two through five? If you’re a fetish fan and you dig toes, lime green tights and milky white brunette chicks, you’re going to dig the shit out of the White Queen’s (Justine Joli) set. Turned on by her amazing and very convincing orgasms in the end of this scene, I couldn’t help but cringe a little when she enters her five minute long scene of very limberly sucking her own toes

e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   3 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 3 1 “Hate” is such a strong word. A word so rewritten version of that same catalogue when strong in fact, that it almost sums up my feel- joke only available on cassette. you think about ings about December. To say that I hate the Enjoy the exact same songs performed on time and circum- holidays is to say that I don’t think I’d really Chipmunks Christmas album in a slightly stance (remember, enjoy anal rape or that I might not particu- higher pitch, with slightly different cover this was the group larly care for castration with safety scissors. art (teaching us that, regardless of size, all that brought com- Taking direct issue with Christmas, it’s logi- fictional woodland creatures sing in high- mercialization of cally flawed to argue that six weeks of mall- pitched voices when celebrating the birth of tennis shoes to hip- driven traffic gridlock, reuniting with rela- the only meat-guzzling religion). hop and accessible tives that you have actively chosen to ignore Insane Clown Posse—A Carnival Xmas. I guitar-laced rhymes for an entire year and spending hundreds fucking love ICP, don’t get me wrong. But to white suburban of dollars to find that one perfect gift that early in their career, the duo had yet to hone stereos). Inner-city might make someone you kind of love say the sight on their comedic rifles, resulting in New York during “oh, cool” is an effective way of approaching songs such as “Red Xmas” and “Santa Claus the holidays is a vis- the celebration of the arrival of baby Jesus. is a Fat Bitch.” Although these classic num- ible manifestation Let’s ignore the fact that the Bible says that bers will provide atmosphere and ambiance of class struggle, the fucker was born in the Spring (Romans to any empty strip club on the afternoon of from the “lighting 20:14: “And thy fucker was born unto the the 25th, even Juggalos will actively ignore of the tree” to the heroin addicts sleeping in world in the Spring, Himdammnit”), but the them for the remaining 364 1/2 days of the piss under it. While race wars, crack cocaine advertisers don’t want the son of God fuck- year. In defense of the Posse, the duo has re- and corrupt government were rampant, Run ing up Valentine’s day or Easter any more leased more self-aware and Juggalo-friendly DMC brought us a novelty song about San- than he already has. Christmas songs in the years since (“Santa ta Claus. The accompanying coloring book, Consumerism and hypocrisy aside (but Killa” and “Xmas in the Hood,” included), Uncle Tom’s Reindeer, was sadly not included not absent), the worst part of Christmas but these are only available as somewhat ex- with the single. comes to us not in the form of virgin birth clusive, online mp3 singles. Various Artists Throughout Time—“Jingle but in Virgin Records. Christmas music is, Britney Spears—12 Days of Christmas. Bell Rock.” A super-group comprised of var- has been and always will be the worst form Shortly before Britney Spears came out as a ious members from Chumbawumba, Smash of audio media not sold as a deterrent to bad sperm-slurping, meth-addicted trailer whore, Mouth, and Barenaked Ladies was formed dogs. I am not referring to “holiday music” she was every young girl’s idol. She still is, I by sadistic record executives and sent back here, because Jews, Blacks and Satanists, all guess, but once upon a time parents didn’t in time to create this song. In an attempt of whom are capable of writing phenom- seem to care. Following in suit with other to pollute office Christmas parties, movie enal music, have a disappointingly absent Enquirer-cover-to-be celebrities, Spears re- trailers, shopping mall speaker systems and presence on record store shelves. You can leased a Christmas album weeks before pub- one out of three electronic dancing Santas bet your ass I’d buy A Very NOFX Chanu- licly spiraling into her “downward spiral of sold at Walgreen’s with “the Christmas feel- kah, Death Row’s Kwanza Compilation or drugs and depression” (copyright VH1). ing” (whatever the fuck that may be), the Slayer’s Solstice Special, but they don’t ex- Mix one part still-a-virgin Britney, twelve creators of this song rival those of Phillip ist (yet). Christmas music might not kill as parts played-out Christmas clichés and gar- Morris products. If you enjoy this song, you many people as say, AIDS, but it’s arguably nish with a dash encompass everything I hate about Christ- more irritating. of “logically, she mas and I highly suggest you kill yourself In an effort to convey my point through was just starting (apparently my articles have that effect, but illustrative torture, I present to you a shop- her coke habit that was last month). ping list for those you hate, whether they are about this time” There is hope for quality Christmas music flying in for a visit or sharing an apartment and you have an but it exists only in as-of-yet, unused poten- with you permanently. I give to you: album so awful tial. Think about it. Prancer, Donner, Bliz- even Catholics ten, the Rza, the Gza and Inspectah Deck Statutory Ray’s Worst Christmas Albums won’t forgive it. present: Shao-Lin Santa (all Big Baby Jesus and Songs of All Time. Not even for “I jokes saved out of respect). Atmosphere The Critters—Christmas with the Critters. Saw Mommy might leak Sad Clown, Shitty Christmas. Everyone hates the Chipmunks, but the Doing Santa Maybe KMFDM will release EGNOG! or high-pitched trio has earned their place as Claus” featuring perhaps GWAR can put something together. somewhat of a pop culture institution. The Jay-Z (really). Fuck, Tom Waits alone could save the entire Critters, however, have not. What’s worse Run DMC—Christmas in Hollis. Yeah it’s holiday. Until then, I anticipate Hannah than a joke that relies on the same comic a classic, and yeah, it’s catchy, but it’s also Montana to fill their place. structure as a breath of helium? A poorly just as insulting as the rest of Run DMC’s

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m “Hate” is such a strong word. A word so rewritten version of that same catalogue when strong in fact, that it almost sums up my feel- joke only available on cassette. you think about ings about December. To say that I hate the Enjoy the exact same songs performed on time and circum- holidays is to say that I don’t think I’d really Chipmunks Christmas album in a slightly stance (remember, enjoy anal rape or that I might not particu- higher pitch, with slightly different cover this was the group larly care for castration with safety scissors. art (teaching us that, regardless of size, all that brought com- Taking direct issue with Christmas, it’s logi- fictional woodland creatures sing in high- mercialization of cally flawed to argue that six weeks of mall- pitched voices when celebrating the birth of tennis shoes to hip- driven traffic gridlock, reuniting with rela- the only meat-guzzling religion). hop and accessible tives that you have actively chosen to ignore Insane Clown Posse—A Carnival Xmas. I guitar-laced rhymes for an entire year and spending hundreds fucking love ICP, don’t get me wrong. But to white suburban of dollars to find that one perfect gift that early in their career, the duo had yet to hone stereos). Inner-city might make someone you kind of love say the sight on their comedic rifles, resulting in New York during “oh, cool” is an effective way of approaching songs such as “Red Xmas” and “Santa Claus the holidays is a vis- the celebration of the arrival of baby Jesus. is a Fat Bitch.” Although these classic num- ible manifestation Let’s ignore the fact that the Bible says that bers will provide atmosphere and ambiance of class struggle, the fucker was born in the Spring (Romans to any empty strip club on the afternoon of from the “lighting 20:14: “And thy fucker was born unto the the 25th, even Juggalos will actively ignore of the tree” to the heroin addicts sleeping in world in the Spring, Himdammnit”), but the them for the remaining 364 1/2 days of the piss under it. While race wars, crack cocaine advertisers don’t want the son of God fuck- year. In defense of the Posse, the duo has re- and corrupt government were rampant, Run ing up Valentine’s day or Easter any more leased more self-aware and Juggalo-friendly DMC brought us a novelty song about San- than he already has. Christmas songs in the years since (“Santa ta Claus. The accompanying coloring book, Consumerism and hypocrisy aside (but Killa” and “Xmas in the Hood,” included), Uncle Tom’s Reindeer, was sadly not included not absent), the worst part of Christmas but these are only available as somewhat ex- with the single. comes to us not in the form of virgin birth clusive, online mp3 singles. Various Artists Throughout Time—“Jingle but in Virgin Records. Christmas music is, Britney Spears—12 Days of Christmas. Bell Rock.” A super-group comprised of var- has been and always will be the worst form Shortly before Britney Spears came out as a ious members from Chumbawumba, Smash of audio media not sold as a deterrent to bad sperm-slurping, meth-addicted trailer whore, Mouth, and Barenaked Ladies was formed dogs. I am not referring to “holiday music” she was every young girl’s idol. She still is, I by sadistic record executives and sent back here, because Jews, Blacks and Satanists, all guess, but once upon a time parents didn’t in time to create this song. In an attempt of whom are capable of writing phenom- seem to care. Following in suit with other to pollute office Christmas parties, movie enal music, have a disappointingly absent Enquirer-cover-to-be celebrities, Spears re- trailers, shopping mall speaker systems and presence on record store shelves. You can leased a Christmas album weeks before pub- one out of three electronic dancing Santas bet your ass I’d buy A Very NOFX Chanu- licly spiraling into her “downward spiral of sold at Walgreen’s with “the Christmas feel- kah, Death Row’s Kwanza Compilation or drugs and depression” (copyright VH1). ing” (whatever the fuck that may be), the Slayer’s Solstice Special, but they don’t ex- Mix one part still-a-virgin Britney, twelve creators of this song rival those of Phillip ist (yet). Christmas music might not kill as parts played-out Christmas clichés and gar- Morris products. If you enjoy this song, you many people as say, AIDS, but it’s arguably nish with a dash encompass everything I hate about Christ- more irritating. of “logically, she mas and I highly suggest you kill yourself In an effort to convey my point through was just starting (apparently my articles have that effect, but illustrative torture, I present to you a shop- her coke habit that was last month). ping list for those you hate, whether they are about this time” There is hope for quality Christmas music flying in for a visit or sharing an apartment and you have an but it exists only in as-of-yet, unused poten- with you permanently. I give to you: album so awful tial. Think about it. Prancer, Donner, Bliz- even Catholics ten, the Rza, the Gza and Inspectah Deck Statutory Ray’s Worst Christmas Albums won’t forgive it. present: Shao-Lin Santa (all Big Baby Jesus and Songs of All Time. Not even for “I jokes saved out of respect). Atmosphere The Critters—Christmas with the Critters. Saw Mommy might leak Sad Clown, Shitty Christmas. Everyone hates the Chipmunks, but the Doing Santa Maybe KMFDM will release EGNOG! or high-pitched trio has earned their place as Claus” featuring perhaps GWAR can put something together. somewhat of a pop culture institution. The Jay-Z (really). Fuck, Tom Waits alone could save the entire Critters, however, have not. What’s worse Run DMC—Christmas in Hollis. Yeah it’s holiday. Until then, I anticipate Hannah than a joke that relies on the same comic a classic, and yeah, it’s catchy, but it’s also Montana to fill their place. structure as a breath of helium? A poorly just as insulting as the rest of Run DMC’s

e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m     e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m  

. D C O L U M B R I A R D I V 5 N E 125 R TLA R M AR I O NE SSE N P D F E DEN R. ST. CO LUM 145 BIA BL VD. PORTLAND 11 32 INTERNATIONAL LO AIRPORT M B AR 18 A D ST. I R PO RT W AY

S KY W 126 30 L 42 IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H E I L B 118 120 LV L D A . M 130 E T 21 T M SA E 29 ND

L Y 46 BL K V R NFIE LD E X D. I FREMONT ST. 148 119 BA P R V J E Y S S R SW PR E E A I O R Y N B GF N 134 1 I ELD L RD . S V . 2 T. D 137 181st D V 2 BL . Y 147 n D d N 27 A S 106 A

A V HALSEY ST.

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115 .

. 23 GLISAN ST.

115 RD . CORN EL L 130 T. SID E S BURNSIDE ST. 43 60th MALL URN OREGON 45 B CONVENTION 3 205 . OREGON 9 D CENTER t STARK ST. 128 16 48 7 R ZOO h 35 A 138 S 34 V E A N . S 131 V R E A D E .

B E R 124 SW G . Y R DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R 127 123 A 47 37 R E N T. F 148 DIV ISION S D 28 S A D. L POWELL BLVD. 109 142 R L V 17 15 N O O E

Y . 33 143 H 140 12 A N . 38 134

C C D C O L U 101 W R M B I S 20 S 10 A R D I V 9 HOLGATE BLVD. N HOLGATE BLVD. E116 112 135 5 R RIVERSIDE CORRAL 31 THE FUTURE 121 125 SD ALE HWY TLA 129 545 SE Tacoma (503) 232-6813 931 SW Oak St. (503) 241-0875 - HI LL . R M B EAVE RTON AR I DANCE CLUBS O 3 NE Mon-Sa 10am-2:30am Su 1pm-1am—2 stages, full bar, food Mon-Thurs 11am-6pm, Fri-Sat 11am-7pm, Sun 1pm-6pm SSE N P D 36 14 115 F E DEN R. ACROPOLIS 1 shoes, costumes, clubwear, fetishwear 133 ST. COL 122 ROOSTER’S 32 131 UMB 40

145 IA B OD STOCK FO 8325 SE McLoughlin (503) 231-9611 605 N Columbia (503)289-1351 122 C LV WO ST

HEAVEN’S CLOSET D. 39 E R E R Daily 11am-2am—1 stage, full bar, full menu, cigars 148 D.

Mon-Sa 11am-2am Su 12pm-12am–beer & wine, snacks 5429 SE 72nd Ave. (503) 537-7286 D PORTLAND 32 A 11 THE BIG BANG 2 SAFARI SHOWCLUB 33 Call for hours—Clothing, shoes and accessories INTERNATIONAL R L AIRPORT 11051 SW Barbur Blvd. (503) 244-3320 3000 SE Powell (503) 231-9199 HUNNIES 148 O M 130 H B 139 4 137 Daily 11:30am-2:30am—full bar, full menu AR 18 A Daily 10am-2:30am—3 stages, full bar, food, lottery 3520 NE 82nd Ave. (503) 254-4226 M I D S I R L T. P 104 L O 3 Daily 24 hours—private lingerie and nude modeling U R blush SASSY’S BAR & GRILL 34 S . T R D W 5145 SE McLoughlin Blvd (503) 236-8559 B R 927 SE Morrison (503) 231-1606 123 R 31 A LIBERATED WORLD L Y Mon-Fri 11am-2:30am, Sat Noon-2:30am, Sun 4pm-2:30am Daily 10:30am-2:30am–2 stages, full bar, food, lottery, pool 10660 SE Division (503) 257-6881 A V N 1 Y Y D O 3 2 stages, full bar, full menu, lottery . S S 2 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, novelties and toys KY E 35 R 108 n SOOBIE’S L W 115 126 30 4 D L O d 42 BOOM BOOM ROOM 333 SE 122nd (503) 253-8892 LOVE BOUTIQUE 124 IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H . W I S E 132 A 8345 SW Barbur Blvd. (503) 244-7630 Daily 11:30am-2:30am—2 stages, full bar, bento & teriyaki cuisine 1720 SE 122nd (503) 252-2017 B 118 L V 120 LV L 117

Daily 2pm-2am—1 stage, full bar, wine, food, lottery E 36 M-Th 10:30am-7:30pm Fri 10:30am-9pm D A 130 STARS CABARET . M . BOTTOMS UP! 5 4570 SW Lombard Ave. (503) 350-0868 Sat 10:30am-8pm—lingerie, novelties, lotions, cards, gifts E T 21 T M SA WASHINGTON E 29 ND

16900 NW St. Helens (503) 621-9844 L Y Mon-Sat 11am-2:00am, Sun 4pm-2am—4 stages, full bar, food LOVE POTIONS 125 46 T BL . R E K IE LD VD D SQUARE 115 R K NF E X . M-Thu 12pm-12am Fri-Sat noon-2am Sun 12n-10pm—1 stage, 50425 Columbia River Hwy (503) 543-7032 Y R I FREMONT ST. I NG R D.148 119 BA P R THE SUNSET STRIP 37 RR V W J E FE Y S L S S R SW full bar, food OL PR E E A 10205 SW Parkway (503) 297-8466 Sun-Wed 10am-12am, Thu-Sat 10am-1am—Lingerie, Costumes, H I O R I 8 Y C N B S G L

F N 134 2 CLACKAMAS 1 CABARET 6 Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30am, Sat 4pm-2:30am, Sun 5pm-2:30am Videos, Mags, Books, Lotions, Oils, Adult Toys and much more! W I ELD L L

RD . V S n S 2 . 2 T I 181st . G D 137 TOWN CENTER D 2 503 W Burnside (503) 525-4900 2 stages, full bar & menu, VIP lounge, champagne room LV d 126 K B OH ZONE . n E E Y 147 A Daily 3pm-2:30am—3 stages, full bar, food, lottery D d S TOMMY’S 38 6218 NE Columbia (503) 284-4759 R R N U N 27 A V N Y R S 106 A S 7 B I A CABARET II 3532 SE Powell Blvd. (503) 234-6033 Daily 10am-3am—live models, toys, video E D PK V HALSEY ST. E W V Y L . R 17544 SE Stark (503) 252-3529 E D V . E Daily 11am-2:30am—2 stages, full bar, food OREGON THEATRE 127 115 .

. Daily 3pm-2:30am — 3 stages, full bar, food, lottery D 39 3530 SE Division (503) 232-7469 23 GLISAN ST. TOMMY’S TOO .

CARNAVAL 8 10335 SE Foster (503) 771-3544 Daily from 12noon—adult feature movies S C

. W O115 330 SW 3rd Ave. (503) 227-1527 Y U N Daily 11am-2am—2 stages, full bar, full menu, lottery 128 RD . T RY PARADISE VIDEO W N EL L CL 130 Mon 8pm-4am Tues-Fri 4pm-4am, Sat-Sun 6pm-4am—18+ juice CORH U B 14712 SE Stark St. (503) 255-9414 H D E ST. RD. IDE ST. 40 A SI BURNS shimmers gentlemen’s club C K N 43 OREGON 60th MALL

bar, nude dancers, private shows I R UR 45 L B 3 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, novelties, toys F US CONVENTION 205 8000 SE Foster (971) 230 - 0047 L I E W OREGON 9 46 C . A CASA DIABLO GENTLEMEN’S CLUB t 48 129 B D Y CENTER STARK ST. 128 16 7 Mon-Sat 9:30am-2:30am Sun 10am-2:30am—2 stages, full h Paris Theater A R ZOO 35

A L 138 2839 NW St. Helens Rd. (503) 222-6600 P S V 34 V bar, wine, full menu, lottery 6 SW 3rd Ave (503) 295-7808 E A N . G O S 131 D V R E Mon-Fri 2pm-2:30am, Sat 6pm-2:30am, Sun Closed E E W A D M .

Mon-Thu 11am-Midnight, Fri-Sun 24 hours B E . W 124 42 S R 115 THE VIEWPOINT S W . S G 2 stages, full bar, food, lottery . C Y D O adult feature-length movies R R DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 82nd & NE Killngsworth (503) 254-0191 R E 127103 L 123 37 Y A 47 O COCKTAILS AND DREAMS 10 R R K A N 116 Mon-Sat 11am-2:30am, Sun 4pm-2:30am—3 stages, Full Bar, Food PASSIONATE DREAMS (2) 130 E ER L U T. F F 148 DIV ISION S 3620 SE 35th (503) 236-6153 . 22 D P G 28 6644 SE 82nd Ave. (503) 775-6665 RD S S UNION JACKS 43 DURHAM E A H A . L 109 Mon-Sat 11am-2:30am Sunday 1pm-2:30am—4 stages, full bar, food D N C POWELL146BLVD. 142 10518-B NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 252-5559 R L V 17 L 15 938 E. Burnside (503) 236-1125 N O I I 11 O O O E F N DANCIN’ BARE Daily 10am-4am—private lingerie & nude modeling Y . 33I

Daily 2pm-2:30am—2 stages, Full Bar, Food N 143 H B C 140 12 A 38 B 134 13

C C R 101

8440 N Interstate (503) 285-9073 W E H 131 S 20 S 10 L 45 PEEP HOLE / MR. PEEP’S (2) V 505 CLUB W W 9 HOLGATE BLVD. Daily 11:30am-2:30am —3 stages, full bar, food, lottery O HOLGATE BLVD. 116D 709 SE 122nd (503) 257-8617 112 135 L Y 505 NW Burnside, Gresham (503) 666-2286 . DEVILS POINT 12 20625 SW TV Hwy, Aloha OR (503) 356-5624 LSD ALE HWY. . 129 Daily 11am-2:30am—3 stages, Full Bar, Food, Lottery B EAVE RTON- HI L 5305 SE Foster (503) 774-4513 Simply Everything Adult—videos, showgirls, novelties 3 36 14 115 Daily 11am-2:30am—topless dancing, burlesque, bands, full bar, lottery 133 122 PRIVATE PLEASURES 132 131 40

OD STOCK FO 9 C WO ST doc’s club 82 10931 SW 53rd Ave. (off Barbur Blvd.) (503) 768-9235 39 E R

E T H E RD R 148 RSY . D.

4229 SE 82nd Ave (503) 788-1500 BUSINESSES Daily 24 hours—private lingerie & nude modeling D F O A

Daily 11am-2:30am—2 stages, full bar, food, lottery R PussycatS 134 130 H 139 4 137 THE DOLPHIN I 13 101 3414 NE 82nd (503) 206-5656 - Daily 24 hours ANGELSPDX.COM M I L 104 L 17180 SE McLoughlin (503) 654-9366 U 3533 SE 39th (503) 727-3580 5226 SE Foster Rd. (503) 774-3183 - Daily 24 hours S .

R D Daily 11:30am-2am—3 stages, full bar, food B R Fri & Sat 8pm-4am—couples, single women & select single men Private lingerie & nude modeling R 31 L A V N 1

THE DOLPHIN II 14 102 133 Y D O 3 ADULT VIDEO ONLY STORES RUMORS WEST . S E V 2

R 108 E n 10860 SW Beaverton Hills. Hwy. (503) 627-0666 Vancouver: 10620 NE 4th Plain Rd. (360) 253-2806 9272 SW. Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy. (503) 297-8910 L T ER 115 D O AN d

Daily 11:30am-2am—4 stages, full bar, food, lottery . W S Mon-Thu 8am-midnight Fri-Sat 8am-1am Sun 8am-11pm Tues-Fri 1pm-6pm, Sat 2pm-6pm, (Sun & Mon by appointment) S 132 M A E V 15 Videos, mags, arcade, toys sexy dresses, exotic club wear, shoes & lingerie M 117 DOUBLE DRIBBLE TAVERN E

O . 13550 SE Powell (503) 760-7096 ALL ADULT VIDEO 103 SECRET PLEASURES 135 R I LA Daily 11am-2:30am—1 stage, beer & wine, food 14555 SE McLoughlin Blvd (503) 652-2004 4345 SW Rose Biggi Ave. (503) 644-5730 WASHINGTON T A R ED ND R . E L D. D SQUARE 115 R Y R H KI NG R D. DREAM ON SALOON 16 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, arcade, toys Sun-Thu 10am-2am, Fri & Sat 10am-4am—Private lingerie & FERR W OLL S W 15920 SE Stark (503) 253-8765 nude modeling CH I 8 AREA 69 104 S L Y . 2 CLACKAMAS W L

S 2 n Mon-Sat 11am-2am, Sun 1pm-2am—2 stages, full bar, food 7720 SE 82nd Ave (503) 774-5544 136 I SECRET RENDEZVOUS G TOWN CENTER

d K 17 Daily 10am-2am—videos, magazines, toys, novelties 12503 SE Division #C (503) 761-4040 E E DV8 A R R SU N

V N 5021 SE Powell Blvd. (503) 788-7178 Daily 24 hours—private lingerie & nude modeling R YS 106 B I BLUE SPOT VIDEO E D PK W E Y . R Daily 11:30am-2:30am—2 stages, full bar, food L D. 3232 NE 82nd (503) 251-8944 SHEENA’S G-SPOT (3) 137 V EXOTICA INTERNATIONAL 18 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, toys, arcade 3400 NE 82nd Ave. (503) 261-1111 D .

240 NE Columbia (503) 285-0281 8315 SW Barbur Blvd. (503) 244-6666 S C BLUsh boutique 149 . W O Y U N T RY Daily 11am-2:30am—5 stages, full bar, full menu, VIP room 611 SE Morrison St. (503) 481-8788 Daily 24 hours—Private shows W CL H U B H RD. 138 C A K Hawthorne Strip 19 Mon-Fri 12pm-7pm Sat-Sun 12pm-5pm—custom made exotic SHEER SENSATIONS I R F L US I L E W 1008 SE Hawthorne (503) 232-9516 dancewear, lingerie, shoes, stockings 1441 SE 82nd (503) 774-1344 C A

B Y A Daily 9am-Midnight—private lingerie & nude modeling P L Daily 11am-2:30am—1 stages, full bar, full menu, lottery 108 V CASTLE MEGASTORE G O D E W M 20 9815 SW Capitol Hwy (503) 768-9305 SILVER SPOON 139 . W HottieS S . S 115 D O C 10140 SW Canyon Rd. (503) 643-7377 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, novelties, toys 8521 SW Barbur Blvd (503) 245-0489 R E 103 L RY K O Mon-Sat 10am-7pm Sun 12n-5pm—adult novelties R L A U 116 Sun-Thurs 8pm-2am, Fri-Sat 7pm-4am—2 stages, juice bar, after CATHIE’S 109 FE RD. 22 S P G hours, dj, dancing 8201 SE Powell #H (503) 771-9979 & gags, tobacco products & incense DURHAM E A H N C L 146 O I I Daily 9am-12am—videos, mags, toys, lingerie 140 O F N JD’S BAR ‘N’ GRILL 21 THE SMOKE SHACK I B C 13 5030 SE Foster Rd. (503) 775-3646 R B 4523 NE 60th (503) 288-9771 CENTERFOLD SUITES 110 E H L W W V Mon-Sat 8am-8pm Sun 9am-8pm—adult novelties, O D Daily 11:30am-2:30am—2 stages, beer & wine, food 314 W Burnside, Suite 300 (503) 222-9823 L Y videos, tobacco products, glassware . . JIGGLES 22 Mon-Thu 10am-4am Fri-Sat 24 hours Sun noon-4am—private 7455 SW. Nyberg Rd. (503) 692-3655 lingerie modeling SPARTACUS LEATHERS 141 Mon-Thu 3pm-3am, Fri-Sat 3pm-4am, Sun 6pm-3am—18+ juice D.K. WILDS 112 300 SW 12th Ave. (503) 224-2604 M-Th 10am-11pm, Fri-Sat 10am-12mid, Sun 12n-9pm RSYT H E RD. bar, beautiful women 13355 SW Henry (503) 643-6645 F O leather, lingerie, novelties, lotions, oils and more! JODY’S BAR & GRILL 23 Daily 24 hours—videos, mags, toys, arcade, leather

NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. 12035 NE Glisan (503) 255-5039 EXOTIC NIGHTS BOOKS 114 STILL SMOKIN’ 142 NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. NW 3RD AVE. NW 2ND AVE. Daily 7am-2:30am—2 stages, full bar, food 12302 SE Powell Blvd. (503) 762-4219 5620 NE MLK Blvd. (503) 493-3944 NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST. Mon-Sat 8am-8pm Sun 9am-8pm—adult novelties, Joey’s 48 Daily 4pm-Midnight—adult novelties, arcade, videos, dvds, mags, toys videos, tobacco products, glassware 17510 SE Stark (503) 252-3176 NW COUCH ST. V FANTASY For Adults Only (6) 115 ET E NE COUCH ST. R A Tues-Sat 4pm-2:30am—1 stage, beer and wine, snacks, private 3137 NE Sandy - (503) 239-6969 - 24 Hours SWEET SENSATIONS 143 N S NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSI 6 M BURNSIDE BRIDGE pole dances 10018 SW Canyon Rd. (503) 297-3406 DE ST. 115 W. BURNSIDE ST. E 43 E. BURNSIDE ST. 6440 SW Coronado - (503) 244-6969 - 24 Hours 121 141 129 M Mon-Thurs 8am-2am, Fri-Sat 7am-3am, Sun 10am-12mid SW ANKENY ST.O lucky devil lounge 47 1512 W Burnside - (503) 295-6969 - 24 Hours 25 110 R I SE ANKENY ST. DLA 633 SE Powell Blvd. (503) 206-7350 10720 SW Beaverton Hillsdale Hwy - (503) 235-6969 videos, erotica, novelties, lingerie W SW ASH ST. A R E ND R MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. L D. RI H Daily 7am-2:30am—1 stage, 1 full bar, incredible food, non-smoking 15536 SE 82nd Dr. (503) 203-6969 - 24 Hours TABOO VIDEO (3) 144 SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. W SE ASH ST. DVDs, arcade, erotica, preview, lingerie, apparel, and shoes Portland: 237 SE MLK Blvd. (503) 239-1678 ING Y 24 TO . SE 13TH AVE. MAGIC GARDENS SW ALDER N ST. 217 NW 4th (503) 224-8472 FANTASYLAND (2) 116 Portland: 2330 SE 82nd Ave. (503) 777-6033 SE PINE ST.

8 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. 5228 SE Foster Rd. (503) 775-0094 Vancouver: 4811 NE 94th Ave. (360) 254-1126 ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD.

M-Sat 12n-2:30am Sun 6pm-2:30am—1 stage, full bar, food AVE. 3RD SE 16014 SE 82nd Dr. (503) 655-4667 Daily 24 hours—videos, arcade, mags, novelties SE OAK ST. MARY’S CLUB 25 SE 2ND AVE. 129 SW Broadway (503) 227-3023 Daily 24 hours—ideos, mags, arcade, toys torched illusions 148 SW 2ND AVE. SE STARK ST. 117 17935 SW Tualatin Valley Hwy (503) 848-8546 SW 4TH AVE. SE 11TH AVE. Daily 11:30am-2:30am—1 stage, full bar, snacks, lottery FASCINATIONS SE 12TH AVE. Sun-Thurs 11am-9pm, Fri-Sat 11am-10pm—magazines, tobacco SW TAYLOR ST. SE 14TH AVE. 26 9515 SE 82nd Ave. (503) 774-4345 SE WASHINGTON ST. MONTEGO’S SW 3RD AVE. Mon-Thu 8am-1am, Fri-Sat 8am-2am, Sun Noon-Mid. products, glassware 144 15826 SE Division (503) 761-7293 SW 5TH AVE. MORR 1pm-2am, 7 Days—2 stages, full bar, food Videos, mags, toys, novelties, lingerie and much more! VALENTINE VIDEO 145 SW 6TH AVE. ISON B SE ALDER ST. SW BROADWAY AVE. R FAT COBRA VIDEO (2) 118 6935 N Fessenden (503) 946-8497 SW 14TH AVE. ID 34 NICOLAI ST. CLUBHOUSE 27 SW SALMON ST. GE SE MORRISON ST. 5940 N Interstate (503) 247-DICK (3425) Mon-Fri Noon-9pm, Sat-Sun Noon-6pm—rare and discount DVDs SW 13TH AVE.

2460 NW 24th (503) 227-5384 SW 12TH AVE. 5501 NW St. Helens Rd. (503) 222-0180 Velour lingerie modeling 146 SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. Mon-Fri 9am-2:30am Sat 11am-2:30am—1 stage, full bar, food SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. Daily 10am-4am—videos, magazines, toys, novelties, leather, arcades SW 10TH AVE.

17030 SE McLoughlin Blvd. (503) 607-2232 SE WATER AVE. THE PALLAS 28 SW MADISON ST. FOXXY’S 119 Daily 10am-2am—private lingerie and nude modeling SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST. 13639 SE Powell (503) 760-8128 8405 NE Fremont St. (503) 255-1390 Mon-Sa 11:30am-2:30am Sun 3pm-2:30am—3 stages, full bar, food X-OTIC TAN 147 Noon - Midnight Daily—Lingerie Modeling & Pampering for Men SE TAYLOR ST. 3242 NE 82nd (503) 257-0622 SE 13TH AVE. 29 PIRATE’S COVE FROLICS 120 Daily 9am-1am—private lingerie & nude modeling SE SALMON ST. 7417 NE Sandy (503) 287-8900 8845 NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 408-9640 Daily 11am-2:30am—1 stage, full bar, food Daily 24 hours—videos, arcade, novelties, dancers Did We Miss A Location? HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST. POP-A-TOP PUB 30 Let Us Know!

6210 NE Columbia (503) 281-3212 NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. SE MADISON ST. PHONE503.241.4317 NW 3RD AVE. NW 2ND AVE. Daily 10am-2:30am—3 stages, full bar, food NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST. FAX503.914.0439 SE HAWTHORNE ST. 19   e x o t i c m a g a z i n e x m a g . c o m [email protected] T. | NW COUCH S NE COUCH ST. NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSIDE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. 6 BURNSIDE BRIDGE 43 115 121 141 129 E. BURNSIDE ST. SW ANKENY ST. 25 110 SE ANKENY ST. W SW ASH ST. MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. RI SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. SE ASH ST. ING

TO SE 13TH AVE. N ST. SW ALDER SE PINE ST.

8 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD. SE 3RD AVE. 3RD SE SE OAK ST.

SE 2ND AVE.

SW 2ND AVE. SE STARK ST. SW 4TH AVE. SE 11TH AVE. SE 12TH AVE. SW TAYLOR ST. SE 14TH AVE. SE WASHINGTON ST. SW 3RD AVE. 144 SW 5TH AVE. MORR SW 6TH AVE. ISON B SE ALDER ST. SW BROADWAY AVE. RID 34 SW 14TH AVE. SW SALMON ST. GE SE MORRISON ST. SW 13TH AVE.

SW 12TH AVE.

SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. SW 10TH AVE.

SE WATER AVE. SW MADISON ST. SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST.

SE TAYLOR ST. SE 13TH AVE.

SE SALMON ST.

HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST.

SE MADISON ST.

SE HAWTHORNE ST. 19 . D C O L U M B R I A R D I V 5 N E 125 R TLA R M AR I O NE SSE N P D F E DEN R. ST. CO LUM 145 BIA BL VD. PORTLAND 11 32 INTERNATIONAL LO AIRPORT M B AR 18 A D ST. I R PO RT W AY

S KY W 126 30 L 42 IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H E I L B 118 120 LV L D A . M 130 E T 21 T M SA E 29 ND

L Y 46 BL K V R NFIE LD E X D. I FREMONT ST. 148 119 BA P R V J E Y S S R SW PR E E A I O R Y N B GF N 134 1 I ELD L RD . S V . 2 T. D 137 181st D V 2 BL . Y 147 n D d N 27 A S 106 A

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115 RD . CORN EL L 130 T. SID E S BURNSIDE ST. 43 60th MALL URN OREGON 45 B CONVENTION 3 205 . OREGON 9 D CENTER t STARK ST. 128 16 48 7 R ZOO h 35 A 138 S 34 V E A N . S 131 V R E A D E .

B E R 124 S W G . Y R DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R 127 123 A 47 37 R E N T. F 148 DIV ISION S D 28 S A D. L POWELL BLVD. 109 142 R L V 17 15 N O O E

Y . 33 143 H 140 12 A N . 38 134

C C D C O L U 101 W R M B I S 20 S 10 A R D HOLGATE BLVD. I V 116 9 HOLGATE BLVD. 5 N E 112 135 125 R SD ALE HWY TLA 129 - HI LL . R M B EAVE RTON AR I O 3 NE SSE N P D 36 14 115 F E DEN R. 133 ST. COL 122 131 UMB 40

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L Y 46 T BL . R E K IE LD VD D SQUARE 115 R K NF E X . Y R I FREMONT ST. I NG R D.148 119 BA P R RR V W J E FE Y S L S S R SW OL PR E E A H I O R I 8 Y C N B S G L

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A L 138 P S V 34 V E A N . G O S 131 D V R E E E W A D M .

B E . W 124 S R 115 S W . S G . C Y D O R R DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R E 127103 L 123 37 Y A 47 O R R K A N 116 E ER L U T. F F 148 DIV ISION S . 22 D P G 28 RD S S DURHAM E A H A . L 109 D N C POWELL146BLVD. 142 R L V 17 L 15 N O I I O O O E F N Y . 33I

N 143 H B C 140 12 A 38 B 134 13

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NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE.

NW 3RD AVE. NW 2ND AVE. NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST.

NW COUCH ST. V ET E NE COUCH ST. R A N S NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSI 6 M BURNSIDE BRIDGE DE ST. 115 W. BURNSIDE ST. E 43 E. BURNSIDE ST. 121 141 129 M SW ANKENY ST.O 25 110 R I SE ANKENY ST. LA W SW ASH ST. A R ED ND R MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. L D. RI H SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. W SE ASH ST. ING Y

TO . SE 13TH AVE. N ST. SW ALDER SE PINE ST.

8 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD. SE 3RD AVE. 3RD SE SE OAK ST.

SE 2ND AVE.

SW 2ND AVE. SE STARK ST. SW 4TH AVE. SE 11TH AVE. SE 12TH AVE. SW TAYLOR ST. SE 14TH AVE. SE WASHINGTON ST. SW 3RD AVE. 144 SW 5TH AVE. MORR SW 6TH AVE. ISON B SE ALDER ST. SW BROADWAY AVE. RID 34 SW 14TH AVE. SW SALMON ST. GE SE MORRISON ST. SW 13TH AVE.

SW 12TH AVE.

SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. SW 10TH AVE.

SE WATER AVE. SW MADISON ST. SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST.

SE TAYLOR ST. SE 13TH AVE.

SE SALMON ST.

HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST.

NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. SE MADISON ST.

NW 3RD AVE. NW 2ND AVE. NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST. SE HAWTHORNE ST. 19 T. e x o t iexotic c m a g a zpullout i n e -x November m a g . c o m  | 39 NW COUCH S NexoticE COUCH ST. pullout| - september | 39 NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSIDE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. 6 BURNSIDE BRIDGE 43 115 121 141 129 E. BURNSIDE ST. SW ANKENY ST. 25 110 SE ANKENY ST. W SW ASH ST. MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. RI SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. SE ASH ST. ING

TO SE 13TH AVE. N ST. SW ALDER SE PINE ST.

8 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD. SE 3RD AVE. 3RD SE SE OAK ST.

SE 2ND AVE.

SW 2ND AVE. SE STARK ST. SW 4TH AVE. SE 11TH AVE. SE 12TH AVE. SW TAYLOR ST. SE 14TH AVE. SE WASHINGTON ST. SW 3RD AVE. 144 SW 5TH AVE. MORR SW 6TH AVE. ISON B SE ALDER ST. SW BROADWAY AVE. RID 34 SW 14TH AVE. SW SALMON ST. GE SE MORRISON ST. SW 13TH AVE.

SW 12TH AVE.

SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. SW 10TH AVE.

SE WATER AVE. SW MADISON ST. SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST.

SE TAYLOR ST. SE 13TH AVE.

SE SALMON ST.

HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST.

SE MADISON ST.

SE HAWTHORNE ST. 19 Pleasure World The Office 1843 NE 3rd St. / (541) 317-9723 3 South Riverside / (541) 772-4079 Videos, Novelties, Lingerie, Books Full Bar, Full Menu EN DR LOCKHAV . NE A Open 9am - 2am Daily Mon - Fri Noon - 2am, Sat & Sun 2pm - 2am HAZELGREEN RD. NE Stars Cabaret NEWPORT EXIT 197 NE Third St. / (541) 388-4081 KEIZER 260B Full Bar, Full Menu, Beautiful Dancers Spice Video

V Mon. - Sat. 11am - 2am, Sun. 4pm - 2am

E 611 SW Coast Hwy. / (541) 574-6969 R D Videos, Magazines, Multi-Channel Arcade A

L 24 Hours / 7 Days N COOS BAY .

N E PORTLAND RD. NE Bachelor’s inn Redmond 63721 Edwards Rd. / (541) 266-8827 1 Stage, Full Bar, Full Menu the fan RIVER RD. N Mon - Sat 4pm - 2am, Sun 6pm - 2am 413 SW Glacier Ave. / (541) 548-4441 G 2 Stages, Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, Pool CORVALLIS Sun - Mon 3pm - Midnight, Tues - Sat 3pm - 2am

W A ERTON RD. L SILV L Adult Shop A RICE HILL C E 2315 9th St Nw / (541) 754-7039 E E

R S

D C . Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie . PORTLAND RD. NE D Adult Shop N R 10am - 2am / 7 Days

W 45 Miles South Of Eugene N

O (Rice Hill Exit #148 Off Of I-5) D

R 726 John Long Road / (541) 849-3344 O

C EUGENE Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie EXIT WEST 256 24 Hours / 7 Days SALEM Adult Shop E T ST. N MARKE 290 River Road B (541) 688-5411 Roseburg J Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 24 Hours / 7 Days filled with fun 2498 Old Highway 99E South (541) 957-3741 CENTER ST. NE CENTER ST. NE 17TH ST. NE Adult Shop Novelties, Videos/Rentals, Arcade, Toys, Magazines 720 Garfield Street Mon - Sat 9am - Midnight, Sun Noon - Midnight (541) 345-2873 Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie STA TE S 24 Hours / 7 Days T. K SPRINGFIELD D STATE ST. Adult Shop 86784 Franklin Blvd.

E B & B Adult Video

E S S

. . (541) 636-3203 2289 Olympic Street / (541) 726-7317

T F D

S

R Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie Videos, Arcade, Clothing, Novelties, Viewing Room

L N

A

I O 8am - Midnight / 7 Days 24 Hours / 7 Days

C D

13TH ST. SE R R EXIT

E O I 253 C M B&b Distributors Brick House

M 710 W 6th Ave / (541) 683-8999 136 4th Street / (541) 988-1612

O C 25TH ST. SE N. SANTIAM HWY T Videos, Arcade, Clothing, Novelties, Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers, 1 Stage & 2 Cages! U

12TH ST. SE R Viewing Room (Watch Or Be Watched!) N Mon - Sat 3pm - 2:30am E R 24 Hours / 7 Days R Castle Megastore D . Imagine That 3270 Gateway / (541) 988-9226 S F A E 2727 Willamette / (541) 767-6816 IR Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes L V I S E Videos, Magazines, Toys, Lotions & Creams Sun - Thu 8am - 2am, Fri & Sat 8am - 3am H W . D IN 24 Hours / 7 Days R D U Club 1444 Y S T TRIA R L D THE NILE 1444 Main Street / (541) 726-7299 E R B I . L 1030 Highway 99 / (541) 688-1869 Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers And 1 Stage S E Bar, Food, Dancers Mon - Sat Noon - 2:30am, Sun 3pm - 2:30am Mon-sat 12noon - 2am, Sun 3pm-12am SALEM Exclusively Adult . SE 1166 South A Street / (541) 726-6969 VD Silver Dollar Club BL LER 2620 W 10th Place / (541) 485-2303 Videos, Mags, Clothes, Novelties, Arcade KUEB Adult Shop F presley’s playhouse L Beer & Wine, Food, Dancers W/ 3 Stages 24 Hours / 7 Days 155 Lancaster Drive Se 3803 Commercial St. Mon - Sat 11:30am - 2:30am, Sun 6pm - 2:30am phil’s clubhouse (503) 585-8288 (503) 371-1565 1195 Main Street / (541) 741-0402 Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie Full Bar, Full Menu, Light-Up Dance Floor And Pole Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, 2 Stages, Pool 24 Hours / 7 Days Mon - Sat 11:30am - 2:30am, Sun 3pm - 2:30am GERVAIS Pussycats cabaret & Adult Shop G Pussycats K 3113 River Road 3815 State St. Last Chance Saloon lingerie modeling (503) 390-4371 (503) 363-0401 12157 Portland Rd. / (503) 792-5100 2251 Main Street / (541) 744-5499 Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie 18+ Over, Lingerie Modeling Beer, Wine, Lottery W/ 1 Stages 1 stage, Juice Bar, Lingerie Modeling, 18 & Over 10am - Midnight / 7 Days Mon - Sat 11am - 3am, Sun 4pm - Midnight Sun - Thu Noon - Midnight, Fri - Sat Noon - 2:30am Sun - Thurs 5pm - 3am, Fri - Sat 5pm - 4am

Adult Shop H Spice Video E Shakers Bar And Grill 5530 Commercial St Se 3473 Silverton Road klamath falls 1195 Main Street / (541) 736-5177 (503) 763-6754 (503) 370-7080 Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade The Alibi Noon - 2:30am Daily 24 Hours / 7 Days 24 Hours / 7 Days 5711 S 6th St. / (541) 882-0145 1 Stage, Beer and Wine, Lottery sweet illusions I B 1836 South A Street / (541) 762-1503 Adult Shop Stars Cabaret Mon-Sat 3pm - 2:30am, Sun 3pm - Midnight 2410 Mission St. S 1550 Weston Ct NE Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, 2 Stages (503) 763-3556 (503) 370-8063 Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie Full Bar, Full Menu, Sports Room, 4 Stages LINCOLN CITY 24 Hours / 7 Days Mon - Sat 11am - 2:30am, Sun 4pm - 2:30am THE DALLES  Bob’s Adult Books D Imagine That Ii 2159 Nw Hwy 101, Suite C / (541) 996-6600 Adult Shop 3815 State Street 3506 W 6th / (541) 298-1874 ALBANY Videos, Magazines, Toys, Body Jewelry, Novelty Gifts (503) 363-3846 Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie Adult Books, Videos, 63 Ch Arcade, Sun - Thu 10am - 10pm, Fri - Sat 10am-mid Adult Shop 8am - 2am / 7 Days And Mini-theatre 3404 Spicer Drive Se / (541) 812-2522 9am - 2am / 7 Days Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie MEDFORD umatilla Cheetahs C 24 Hours / 7 Days 3453 Silverton Road Adult Land (971) 327-8777 ASTORIA 2755 South Pacific Highway / (541) 770-5493 Miss Sally’s Juice Bar, Special Shows Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 521 6th St. / (541) 922-2952 7pm - Close / 7 Days Mon - Thu 9am - 10pm, Fri & Sat 10am - Mid. 2 Stages, Juice Bar Annie’s uppertown Tavern Sundays 10am - 9pm Tues - Sun 7pm - 3am 2897 Marine Drive / (503) 325-1102 THe Firehouse A 5782 Portland Road NE Beer & Wine, Dancers, Full Menu, Lottery Adult Shop the riverside 261 Barnett Road / (541) 772-5220 (503) 393-4782 Mon - Sat 4pm - 2am 1501 6th St. / (541) 922-4112 Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 2 Stages, Beer and Wine Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery 24 Hours / 7 Days 11am - 2am / 7 Days Tues - Sun 6pm - 1:30am BEND Adult Shop Hard candy J 3340 North Pacific Highway / (541) 776-9964 940 Commercial St. Ne Imagine That Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes (503) 365-2802 Mon - Thu 10am - 9pm, Fri & Sat 10am - 10pm, Closed On Sundays 197 NE Third St. / (541) 312-8100 Did We Miss A Full Bar, Full Menu, 2 Stages Videos, Magazines, Toys, Body Jewelry, Novelty Gifts Mon - Sat Noon - 2:30am, Sun 4pm - 2:30am Castle Megastore Location? 24 Hours / 7 Days 1113 Progress Drive / (541) 608-9540 Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes Let Us Know! 9am - 1am / 7 Days PHONE: 503.241.4317 FAX: 503.914.0439 4 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m EMAIL: [email protected] s a long-time writer for Exotic and Exotic Under- with women (or men, I guess I shouldn’t assume). On the flip ground, I’ve gotten my fair share of fan mail, for bet- side, yes, there are women I “use” to satiate my lust and hunger, ter or worse. For the most part, I am able to take the but they are fortunately using me as well so we do not consider Abad with the good and either agree to disagree or it a negative thing. Somehow I do not see you as someone who add them to the list of people who have way too much time could grasp the concept of “friends with benefits.” on their hands or too many loose screws in their head. There is nothing hypocritical about wanting to see someone get Every once in a while, however, I receive letters from people what they deserve. That is justice. Again, along with virtue, ethics, who are so full of themselves and so self-righteous, it’s too tempt- love, responsibility and compassion. Character traits that decent ing not to use my public forum privileges to rip them a new shit- people have, not bi’s. ter. Plus, assholes of a feather tend to flock together, so we can Suddenly I feel like I’m in church. Tell me, James, if bisexual use their choice insults to learn more about the senseless things people don’t have virtue, ethics and the rest, why are there na- people say about bi-girls. This is for educational purposes, really. tionwide protests fighting the prudish dogma of puritans such So without further ado, James in Houston, this is for you. as yourself, for the right to have same sex marriage (see: love) Dear amazing, glorious Ophelia Derriere (OK, I’m paraphras- recognized by the law? ing, sue me), You claim to be about love. And you claim to have love. But you Being a bi-girl is just a license to indulge in promiscuous behavior will see that once you no longer have what society wants, that they and to have as much sex and pleasure as possible. It is not recognizing will chew you out and leave you behind. In abject loneliness. Just as a deeper self. you have done to others.” First of all, thank god I have James to tell me what being a For one brief moment, my heart goes out to James. Besides his bisexual girl is all about. Obviously he doesn’t understand that obvious love of melodrama, how can someone be so disenchanted being bi is neither a “choice” nor something we do for “fun” and lonely and so intent on blaming bisexual women? Listen though naturally that is par for the course. I’ve personally known James, I’m sorry you were rejected in high school. I’m sorry your I was bisexual since I was seven. Not only is it recognition of my bitterness has gotten so out of hand you have to trample on other deeper, true self, but to not act on it would be damaging to that people’s happiness. I’m sorry you’re not society’s version of “hot.” deeper self. Don’t condemn me because I have found a group of people who Being poly just gives you license to jump from person to person love and accept me for who I am. while never truly taking a permanent responsibility for love. It is Indeed, this is just a sample of the kinds of people who are lurking normal and healthy to find others attractive but it is selfish and in the shadows of our underground world, watching us, harvesting irresponsible to want to have your cake and eat it too. seeds of bitterness with every missed opportunity. While the com- Here’s where I start to get the feeling James is a wee-bit prudish. I passionate (virtuous, ethical, loving, responsible) side of my heart believe he is missing the point of “poly” in this respect. The whole breaks a little for them—the strong, proud side is tired of coddling point is that you do (if you’re lucky) have a partner—someone repressive assholes. They despise us for having our cake and daring to you love and are loved by—and are so secure with that person, eat it too—when in reality it’s when we refuse to share our cake with you feel you can be truly open and honest about your desire for them that it becomes about other human beings. As I’ve said before, desirable people do not their right. cease to exist just because you’re in a relationship. (Editors note: Bi-Girls Bi-orgies? That is just stuffing your faces while cheating, depriving fans or foes will have to and hurting men by making them suffer without, and doing it with hunger for more until a smile. You are a fine one to sentence others to this fate with fist in further notice, as Ms. the air shouting “my right!” Derriere will be on hia- Ahh, the truth starts to come out. James was obviously left out tus for an undetermined of one too many orgies in his formative years. Maybe mommy period of time. Think took him off the teat too soon. This feeds right into the fire of you can fill the void? men assuming bisexual women exist solely for their pleasure. I Email editor@xmag. assure you, women simply don’t get together and have orgies to com with any worthy spite men and when real orgies do happen, they are the result of submissions and you desire not vengeance. just might have your Be honest. Do you REALLY love and care for these women? Or voice heard.) are you just looking to satiate your own lust and hunger? The truth is, James, no, I do not love and care for all the women I sleep with. Do YOU? That said, there are many women I do love and care for deeply, and have real, emotionally tumultuous relationships that span over many years. Just as I do with men. Just as you do (I assume)

5 2 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   WARNING!!! This fictional feel the warmth of blood spouting ent vernacular, of course). of our room and placed her face submission contains violent from a half-attached strip of mus- James was excited to ride along down on the carpet, kicking the and explicit content which cle, and it’s really just the smell with a real police officer, and I door shut behind me. As James some readers might find that gets me off anymore. After was glad to be one. Although he watched in utter disbelief, I re- disturbing. Read at your the fresh tint of iron dissolves enjoyed decapitating them with moved the television from its own risk! from within my nasal cavities, the various tools in video games and once-broken, twice-glued base Human lives and addictive high is lost. Because of this, I of- listening to them suffer slander and placed it firmly onto the back drugs share a common charac- ten end up having to masturbate in his stereo speakers, James had of Jessi’s head with enough force teristic. Once you take them for almost immediately after my vic- “like, mad respect for cops.” A to shatter the screen. the first time, the instant rush tims lose consciousness. There is noted liar with a tendency to use Outside of the room, two eliminates any fear of taking them something to be said for the deco- deceit for his own gain, James was men loudly discussed the differ- again in the future. rative touch that semen adds to a described by his file as having a ence in weather between Oregon If only there was a rehab for bloody tank top, but the stuff is “potential for violent outbursts.” and Florida. No one had heard a homicide addicts. forensic investigator heaven. The I informed James that we were thing, and if they had, they didn’t Pills, booze, pussy, poker chips. labs love the sight of cum more going to participate in a prostitu- seem to care. They’re all so easy to get help than the average pornographer. tion sting. We arrived at the Uni- James was petrified but still with if you just open up the yel- Last week I had a breakthrough. corn Motel, purchased a single- alive. Sure enough, the rush had low pages or stroll into a church. I As gauged by the irregularly small bed smoking room and I began not yet worn off, even though the would get help with my problem, size of the pants I chose to wear on to set up for the “sting.” Using hooker at my feet had stopped or at least cut back, if there was Tuesday (laundry day), I noticed one of those free magazines you twitching. I had discovered that a way to seek help without reper- that I become most aroused be- find at strip clubs, I located what the arousal inspired by fear need cussions from the law. tween the moment during which appeared to be a prostitute and not come from a dying source, as Thank Christ I am the law. I make that first incision to a vir- phoned her with the address of the expression on the young boy’s It had been nearly a year since gin throat and the time at which my motel room. face was enough to keep me, shall I hastily planned my first on-the- my target loses visible conscious- While we waited, James and we say, happy. spot slaughter and I had become ness. If only there were a way to I discussed various topics rang- Another thought occurred simultaneous- extend the precious emotions that ing from sports teams to politics. to me and it caused even more ly accus- flow from a person who has just Shortly after, a knock on t o m e d learned that their life is a matter the door startled both to and of minutes from expiring. of us as awkward silence

somewhat bored with the technicali- Today I found the solution. ties of my new hobby. At first, the Actually, the solution found me. rush would last for weeks. Much His name was James and he was had replaced a discussion of the arousal. A questionably dishon- like an amateur drug user feels a juvenile offender (assault in the Seahawks just moments prior. est ward of the court was standing as if the world knows that he or fourth degree, something involv- I opened the door to discover immediately to my right and he she is high, the after effect of my ing a peer) partaking in some- an adolescent girl with a slight had witnessed my activities. The first few excursions in self-ad- thing called the Community Ap- tan and an overabundance of key difference between a witness ministered mortality testing was preciation Project. As part of his cheap perfume. and a suspect lies in the police anxiety. Although I eventually probation, James was instructed “What, is this like some sort of report, one that I would volun- became used to covering tracks by his P.O. to “actively pursue fucking sting? I ain’t no goddamn tarily write as soon as I returned much like the arms of the junkies respect for and empathy with au- ho or nothin’.” The dial-a-model to the office. I saw James kill that with whom I now relate so well, thority figures” and supposedly a had apparently noticed my forget- poor girl and I had tried to stop the first few bodies left police ride-along would help little fulness in dressing down (James him. I never should have stepped a stink on my Jimmy in his trek back to teen- had not mentioned anything, but away for a cigarette. That’s what I brain as well as age freedom (if there is such a he didn’t seem like the sharpest would say. my hands. thing). Being the go-getter that I marble in the box) and was un- James was given two options, Now, the am, I snatched James’ paperwork derstandably surprised to see a one of them being death. Valuing whole pro- from the communal assignment uniformed officer at the door. life in prison over the option of cess has be- desk and told my other priori- Placing an open palm over immediate expiration, my juve- come quite ties (a convenient store owner fil- her face and grasping her right nile friend chose the second op- mundane. I ing a robbery report and a pile of shoulder like handlebars on a tion. Minutes later, Sexy Jessi was don’t get my pointless yellow sticky notes) to rickety roller coaster, I removed covered in James’ ejaculate and fix until I go fuck themselves (using differ- “Sexy Jessi” from the entryway James was in handcuffs.

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m WARNING!!! This fictional feel the warmth of blood spouting ent vernacular, of course). of our room and placed her face submission contains violent from a half-attached strip of mus- James was excited to ride along down on the carpet, kicking the and explicit content which cle, and it’s really just the smell with a real police officer, and I door shut behind me. As James some readers might find that gets me off anymore. After was glad to be one. Although he watched in utter disbelief, I re- disturbing. Read at your the fresh tint of iron dissolves enjoyed decapitating them with moved the television from its own risk! from within my nasal cavities, the various tools in video games and once-broken, twice-glued base Human lives and addictive high is lost. Because of this, I of- listening to them suffer slander and placed it firmly onto the back drugs share a common charac- ten end up having to masturbate in his stereo speakers, James had of Jessi’s head with enough force teristic. Once you take them for almost immediately after my vic- “like, mad respect for cops.” A to shatter the screen. the first time, the instant rush tims lose consciousness. There is noted liar with a tendency to use Outside of the room, two eliminates any fear of taking them something to be said for the deco- deceit for his own gain, James was men loudly discussed the differ- again in the future. rative touch that semen adds to a described by his file as having a ence in weather between Oregon If only there was a rehab for bloody tank top, but the stuff is “potential for violent outbursts.” and Florida. No one had heard a homicide addicts. forensic investigator heaven. The I informed James that we were thing, and if they had, they didn’t Pills, booze, pussy, poker chips. labs love the sight of cum more going to participate in a prostitu- seem to care. They’re all so easy to get help than the average pornographer. tion sting. We arrived at the Uni- James was petrified but still with if you just open up the yel- Last week I had a breakthrough. corn Motel, purchased a single- alive. Sure enough, the rush had low pages or stroll into a church. I As gauged by the irregularly small bed smoking room and I began not yet worn off, even though the would get help with my problem, size of the pants I chose to wear on to set up for the “sting.” Using hooker at my feet had stopped or at least cut back, if there was Tuesday (laundry day), I noticed one of those free magazines you twitching. I had discovered that a way to seek help without reper- that I become most aroused be- find at strip clubs, I located what the arousal inspired by fear need cussions from the law. tween the moment during which appeared to be a prostitute and not come from a dying source, as Thank Christ I am the law. I make that first incision to a vir- phoned her with the address of the expression on the young boy’s It had been nearly a year since gin throat and the time at which my motel room. face was enough to keep me, shall I hastily planned my first on-the- my target loses visible conscious- While we waited, James and we say, happy. spot slaughter and I had become ness. If only there were a way to I discussed various topics rang- Another thought occurred simultaneous- extend the precious emotions that ing from sports teams to politics. to me and it caused even more ly accus- flow from a person who has just Shortly after, a knock on t o m e d learned that their life is a matter the door startled both to and of minutes from expiring. of us as awkward silence

somewhat bored with the technicali- Today I found the solution. ties of my new hobby. At first, the Actually, the solution found me. rush would last for weeks. Much His name was James and he was had replaced a discussion of the arousal. A questionably dishon- like an amateur drug user feels a juvenile offender (assault in the Seahawks just moments prior. est ward of the court was standing as if the world knows that he or fourth degree, something involv- I opened the door to discover immediately to my right and he she is high, the after effect of my ing a peer) partaking in some- an adolescent girl with a slight had witnessed my activities. The first few excursions in self-ad- thing called the Community Ap- tan and an overabundance of key difference between a witness ministered mortality testing was preciation Project. As part of his cheap perfume. and a suspect lies in the police anxiety. Although I eventually probation, James was instructed “What, is this like some sort of report, one that I would volun- became used to covering tracks by his P.O. to “actively pursue fucking sting? I ain’t no goddamn tarily write as soon as I returned much like the arms of the junkies respect for and empathy with au- ho or nothin’.” The dial-a-model to the office. I saw James kill that with whom I now relate so well, thority figures” and supposedly a had apparently noticed my forget- poor girl and I had tried to stop the first few bodies left police ride-along would help little fulness in dressing down (James him. I never should have stepped a stink on my Jimmy in his trek back to teen- had not mentioned anything, but away for a cigarette. That’s what I brain as well as age freedom (if there is such a he didn’t seem like the sharpest would say. my hands. thing). Being the go-getter that I marble in the box) and was un- James was given two options, Now, the am, I snatched James’ paperwork derstandably surprised to see a one of them being death. Valuing whole pro- from the communal assignment uniformed officer at the door. life in prison over the option of cess has be- desk and told my other priori- Placing an open palm over immediate expiration, my juve- come quite ties (a convenient store owner fil- her face and grasping her right nile friend chose the second op- mundane. I ing a robbery report and a pile of shoulder like handlebars on a tion. Minutes later, Sexy Jessi was don’t get my pointless yellow sticky notes) to rickety roller coaster, I removed covered in James’ ejaculate and fix until I go fuck themselves (using differ- “Sexy Jessi” from the entryway James was in handcuffs.

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Who Watches the Watchmen? Strip clubs, like any other nightlife businesses, rely on frills and gim- micks to maintain an appearance of individuality and innovativeness. Advertisements for fire shows, theme nights and holiday parties fill the pages of Exotic and plaster the comments sections of MySpaces, the next gimmick always one-upping the prior (I’m still waiting for a combination of UFC and stripping, but I have yet to find a venue equipped with Hello Kitty boxing gloves). Regardless of the presence of an original gimmick or a kick-ass theme night, a business has to focus on the core elements of whatever it provides in order to stay alive. On one hand, even the most tattooed and one-legged of strippers cannot divert the attention from a

shitty drink or a broken toilet. On the other often than not, a complete lack of hand, a pole and a Pabst keg do not make a character and flavor. This is not strip club. to say that the dancers were unat- Enter the DJ. No, really, enter the DJ, tractive or that the bars in ques- bored and somewhat broke on a Tuesday tion did not serve quality food night, walking into a lonely strip club on the and drink. Simply put, visiting a outskirts of downtown Portland. The bar- strip club without a DJ is like vis- tender pours a perfect drink, the girl onstage iting a karaoke bar without a KJ, is attractive and the environment is clean a venue without a sound tech or a and non-threatening. Yet, something is miss- circus without a ringmaster. ing. Where is the blacklit podium covered in To be fair and balanced (in Sharpie’d CD-Rs and cigarette butts? Vaughn the Fox News sense of the word, Playhouse* was not only lacking a DJ, but of course, I do still DJ now and dollars on the rack. Customers seemed to be then, so an economically-influ- more interested in video lottery than they enced bias is present), disc jockeys were the 34-whatdoesitmatter-36 propor- can cause clubs as many problems tions waiting patiently at the rack. And it as they can prevent. Drug-deal- didn’t take much to get her going, either, as a ing ex-jocks named Chad or gels should only be given so much ZZ Top mere two bucks bought me the undivided at- Joey should not be given access to Kid Rock before the arrival of some Snoop Dogg and tention of a naked woman for like an hour. mp3s, a microphone and naked women. Paul Oakenfold to remind the crowd that I obtained some poorly documented infor- With that being said, I will note here that their dollar is appreciated but not dominant. mation from a heavily intoxicated dancer re- I will be referring only to “professional” DJs Room full of gangbangers? Mix some Johnny garding the lack of a dance commander and from here on out. Cash in with the Tupac and they won’t stick the subsequent effect on the club’s business. If the lack of a proper DJ is to be seen as around any longer than their budget allows Apparently, dancers can pick music without a bad thing, what does a good DJ bring to for. Without insulting customers or dancers, argument from a free jukebox that never the club? DJs should remind patrons (and entertain- asks them for sexual favors or drugs, but that First and foremost, a disc jockey orches- ers) that the bottom line of a strip club is the seems to be the only perk. After my visit to trates entertainment on the spot. When the show, not clique affiliation or posse starting. Vaughn Playhouse, I visited six other area right (or wrong) customer walks into the club, Finally, a good DJ will be an advertise- clubs that were without DJs. With the excep- a good DJ will be able to remove all of his or ment, as well as a potential feature attraction, tion of Mary’s, an institution and a historical her money (or body) and have it on the rack at no direct expense to the club. Often rely- landmark incapable of changing its building (or Burnside) within a few songs. Customer ing more on a percentage of dancer tips more design, every other club I visited suffered the requests to the extent of “that one Clash song so than the minimum wage required to hire same problems. Boring, dead air between that goes ‘na-na-na da-da-da get the cash yo’” them, DJs are just as compelled to increase sets, confusion (Paper Planes by MIA), holy-shit-the-owner- business as are dancers or bartenders, and regarding who is-here saves of face and nine-minute bonus most clubs only need two or three to fill the was onstage tracks are all fires able to be put out easier by week. The same cannot be said for jukeboxes, (even though a DJs than by naked performers. which cost more per shift than a half-drunk dry erase board Second, and not entirely unique from music geek with a laptop. Besides, DJs have was usually lo- what is mentioned above, is crowd control. soul and they come packaged with more than cated behind Customers often need to be reminded that just Jimmy Buffet and Journey. the bar area, on they are guests of the club and not employ- more than one ees. The wrong bachelor party running on DJ Tip of the Month occasion the six bucks shared between ten people can Energy and clarity does not necessarily dancer order be a disastrous presence if the only two require carnie enunciation. Lose the roller- was wrong and people in charge are busy with a full house coaster voice. Try testing the strip club DJ the bartender of horny and overzealous men who share a voice at funerals, drive-thrus, and breakup was busy do- group identity. Taking advice from DJ Lee of lunches to see how well it’s received by the ing more im- Blush Gentlemen’s Club, a good DJ will use general population. portant things a balancing effect on a potentially explosive like “bartend- crowd. Although it is a good idea to please ing”) and more your customers, a room full of Hell’s An-   e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m Who Watches the Watchmen? Strip clubs, like any other nightlife businesses, rely on frills and gim- micks to maintain an appearance of individuality and innovativeness. Advertisements for fire shows, theme nights and holiday parties fill the pages of Exotic and plaster the comments sections of MySpaces, the next gimmick always one-upping the prior (I’m still waiting for a combination of UFC and stripping, but I have yet to find a venue equipped with Hello Kitty boxing gloves). Regardless of the presence of an original gimmick or a kick-ass theme night, a business has to focus on the core elements of whatever it provides in order to stay alive. On one hand, even the most tattooed and one-legged of strippers cannot divert the attention from a

shitty drink or a broken toilet. On the other often than not, a complete lack of hand, a pole and a Pabst keg do not make a character and flavor. This is not strip club. to say that the dancers were unat- Enter the DJ. No, really, enter the DJ, tractive or that the bars in ques- bored and somewhat broke on a Tuesday tion did not serve quality food night, walking into a lonely strip club on the and drink. Simply put, visiting a outskirts of downtown Portland. The bar- strip club without a DJ is like vis- tender pours a perfect drink, the girl onstage iting a karaoke bar without a KJ, is attractive and the environment is clean a venue without a sound tech or a and non-threatening. Yet, something is miss- circus without a ringmaster. ing. Where is the blacklit podium covered in To be fair and balanced (in Sharpie’d CD-Rs and cigarette butts? Vaughn the Fox News sense of the word, Playhouse* was not only lacking a DJ, but of course, I do still DJ now and dollars on the rack. Customers seemed to be then, so an economically-influ- more interested in video lottery than they enced bias is present), disc jockeys were the 34-whatdoesitmatter-36 propor- can cause clubs as many problems tions waiting patiently at the rack. And it as they can prevent. Drug-deal- didn’t take much to get her going, either, as a ing ex-jocks named Chad or gels should only be given so much ZZ Top mere two bucks bought me the undivided at- Joey should not be given access to Kid Rock before the arrival of some Snoop Dogg and tention of a naked woman for like an hour. mp3s, a microphone and naked women. Paul Oakenfold to remind the crowd that I obtained some poorly documented infor- With that being said, I will note here that their dollar is appreciated but not dominant. mation from a heavily intoxicated dancer re- I will be referring only to “professional” DJs Room full of gangbangers? Mix some Johnny garding the lack of a dance commander and from here on out. Cash in with the Tupac and they won’t stick the subsequent effect on the club’s business. If the lack of a proper DJ is to be seen as around any longer than their budget allows Apparently, dancers can pick music without a bad thing, what does a good DJ bring to for. Without insulting customers or dancers, argument from a free jukebox that never the club? DJs should remind patrons (and entertain- asks them for sexual favors or drugs, but that First and foremost, a disc jockey orches- ers) that the bottom line of a strip club is the seems to be the only perk. After my visit to trates entertainment on the spot. When the show, not clique affiliation or posse starting. Vaughn Playhouse, I visited six other area right (or wrong) customer walks into the club, Finally, a good DJ will be an advertise- clubs that were without DJs. With the excep- a good DJ will be able to remove all of his or ment, as well as a potential feature attraction, tion of Mary’s, an institution and a historical her money (or body) and have it on the rack at no direct expense to the club. Often rely- landmark incapable of changing its building (or Burnside) within a few songs. Customer ing more on a percentage of dancer tips more design, every other club I visited suffered the requests to the extent of “that one Clash song so than the minimum wage required to hire same problems. Boring, dead air between that goes ‘na-na-na da-da-da get the cash yo’” them, DJs are just as compelled to increase sets, confusion (Paper Planes by MIA), holy-shit-the-owner- business as are dancers or bartenders, and regarding who is-here saves of face and nine-minute bonus most clubs only need two or three to fill the was onstage tracks are all fires able to be put out easier by week. The same cannot be said for jukeboxes, (even though a DJs than by naked performers. which cost more per shift than a half-drunk dry erase board Second, and not entirely unique from music geek with a laptop. Besides, DJs have was usually lo- what is mentioned above, is crowd control. soul and they come packaged with more than cated behind Customers often need to be reminded that just Jimmy Buffet and Journey. the bar area, on they are guests of the club and not employ- more than one ees. The wrong bachelor party running on DJ Tip of the Month occasion the six bucks shared between ten people can Energy and clarity does not necessarily dancer order be a disastrous presence if the only two require carnie enunciation. Lose the roller- was wrong and people in charge are busy with a full house coaster voice. Try testing the strip club DJ the bartender of horny and overzealous men who share a voice at funerals, drive-thrus, and breakup was busy do- group identity. Taking advice from DJ Lee of lunches to see how well it’s received by the ing more im- Blush Gentlemen’s Club, a good DJ will use general population. portant things a balancing effect on a potentially explosive like “bartend- crowd. Although it is a good idea to please ing”) and more your customers, a room full of Hell’s An- e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   6 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 6 1 You are now rockin’ with the West Coast and Ice Cube talked about painting the The Streets Are Watchin’ Bad Boy Kenny Mack giving y’all a monthly White House black, but I really don’t think West Coast heavyweight Krispy Hendrix dose of truth. they meant it literally. One word of warning, has slapps on deck. He is one of the West Paint the White House Black don’t think that you can do anything new Coasts new wave of producers that lives and This shit is the truth right here, trill bi- that you weren’t doing when Bush was run- reps the Northeast side of Portland. He has zzness. We have seen some once in a lifetime ning the ship. We might have Obama, but been making heavyweight slapps that power type shit—got me watching Barack Obama they will still throw you in the box, ya dig! some of the City’s Superstars, such as 6IX, on ESPN at three in the morning, type shit. I 97211, Cool Nutz, FliBoi’s and even myself. bet America, the land of the free, place of op- PiCK of the Month He supplies dope up and down the I-5 free- portunity, never, ever thought that we would way (Washington and California), ya dig! I turn the White House black. I really never Atlas Tattoo Shop recently chopped it up with Krispy and this thought about it personally either, but this I’m heavily into is his E! True Hollywood story: November this shit happened, ya dig! Time tattoos myself, as Kenny Mack: How long have you been for some change. Obama fucked around and are a lot of the fuckin’ with musik? now he’s going to be moving his big-screen people that I fuck Krispy Hendrix: For about 14 years, basi- up in the White House. It’s going to be pic- with in the streets. cally all my grown life. tures of black people on the walls: grandmas, I have been to tat- KM: I know you’re busy getting your pa- uncles, cousins. Time for some change to me too shops all over per with this music, but where do you hang meant time to get some money or time to the United States out in Portland? change into some fly clothes. This change checking out artist’s KH: The Xbox (Exotica), the Pearl District, right here is history in the making, but at the techniques, cleanli- Northeast Portland, wherever it’s crackin’. same time how much change can anybody ness, equipment, shit like that. I can put my KM: Who’s in rotation on your ipod? make black, white, yellow or green after all own personal stamp of approval on the shop KH: Akon, N.E.R.D., Al Green, Com- the bad decisions that have already been and the artists that tattoo people here. Atlas mon, Wayne, Kenny Mack, M.I.A, E40, made. Even though it seems like we got what Tattoo opened up in 1998 over in the Holly- Shorty Low. we wanted, how much change is really go- wood district by Dan Gilsdorf and Jerry Ware KM: What you think about this black ing to come down my street, neighborhood, and has become one of the premiere spots president bizzness? block, ghetto, trailer park and where ever else on the West Coast and possibly the number KH: I feel free, opportunity and good shit “We the People” reside, ya dig? So for those one spot in Portland. The other two artists going on. of you that voted and got what you want- that ink at Atlas are Scott Harrison and Lewis This boy right here is so trill, so if you ed, it’s going to be a work in progress. The Hess. I have had a hard time finding a better want slappers get at the boy about the mon- rest of the nation that didn’t get what they over all experience. All the artists have at least ey, ya dig. If it ain’t no money talk, don’t even wanted, welcome to USA, ya heard? This is 15 years of experience and a high quality of waste your time. It’s about to be 2009, so the first election I ever really paid any atten- art. Atlas is located in North Portland at 4543 get your paper right. Nothing’s free, ya dig! tion to besides the 2000 joint when the Bush North Albina or by phone at (503) 281-7499. Contact Krispy Hendrix at or direct at (503) 839- you’ve got to salute a good heist, even when making an appointment secures your date 4567(serious inquiries only). you’re the one getting robbed! This election with the electric chair. had any and every one out in full force at New Releases to watch for: the polls: artists, Cool Nutz, The Miracle Street Album, athletes, actors, West Coast Stand Out celebrates the release drug dealers, es- of his latest album on December 22nd at the corts, convicted Doug Fir Lounge. felons, hoes and Dubble 00, Space Age Hood Slap, new- even the strippers. comer Dubble 00 releases an album of slapps Barack Obama for real December 30th. in 2008, time for some change! Year 2008 is a done deal. Year 2009 is Hopefully, this going to be the Year of the Champion. So isn’t just another get all the bullshit out of your program and opportunity to make this your year, ya dig! kill a black man. Until next time, George Clinton Kenny Mack

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m You are now rockin’ with the West Coast and Ice Cube talked about painting the The Streets Are Watchin’ Bad Boy Kenny Mack giving y’all a monthly White House black, but I really don’t think West Coast heavyweight Krispy Hendrix dose of truth. they meant it literally. One word of warning, has slapps on deck. He is one of the West Paint the White House Black don’t think that you can do anything new Coasts new wave of producers that lives and This shit is the truth right here, trill bi- that you weren’t doing when Bush was run- reps the Northeast side of Portland. He has zzness. We have seen some once in a lifetime ning the ship. We might have Obama, but been making heavyweight slapps that power type shit—got me watching Barack Obama they will still throw you in the box, ya dig! some of the City’s Superstars, such as 6IX, on ESPN at three in the morning, type shit. I 97211, Cool Nutz, FliBoi’s and even myself. bet America, the land of the free, place of op- PiCK of the Month He supplies dope up and down the I-5 free- portunity, never, ever thought that we would way (Washington and California), ya dig! I turn the White House black. I really never Atlas Tattoo Shop recently chopped it up with Krispy and this thought about it personally either, but this I’m heavily into is his E! True Hollywood story: November this shit happened, ya dig! Time tattoos myself, as Kenny Mack: How long have you been for some change. Obama fucked around and are a lot of the fuckin’ with musik? now he’s going to be moving his big-screen people that I fuck Krispy Hendrix: For about 14 years, basi- up in the White House. It’s going to be pic- with in the streets. cally all my grown life. tures of black people on the walls: grandmas, I have been to tat- KM: I know you’re busy getting your pa- uncles, cousins. Time for some change to me too shops all over per with this music, but where do you hang meant time to get some money or time to the United States out in Portland? change into some fly clothes. This change checking out artist’s KH: The Xbox (Exotica), the Pearl District, right here is history in the making, but at the techniques, cleanli- Northeast Portland, wherever it’s crackin’. same time how much change can anybody ness, equipment, shit like that. I can put my KM: Who’s in rotation on your ipod? make black, white, yellow or green after all own personal stamp of approval on the shop KH: Akon, N.E.R.D., Al Green, Com- the bad decisions that have already been and the artists that tattoo people here. Atlas mon, Wayne, Kenny Mack, M.I.A, E40, made. Even though it seems like we got what Tattoo opened up in 1998 over in the Holly- Shorty Low. we wanted, how much change is really go- wood district by Dan Gilsdorf and Jerry Ware KM: What you think about this black ing to come down my street, neighborhood, and has become one of the premiere spots president bizzness? block, ghetto, trailer park and where ever else on the West Coast and possibly the number KH: I feel free, opportunity and good shit “We the People” reside, ya dig? So for those one spot in Portland. The other two artists going on. of you that voted and got what you want- that ink at Atlas are Scott Harrison and Lewis This boy right here is so trill, so if you ed, it’s going to be a work in progress. The Hess. I have had a hard time finding a better want slappers get at the boy about the mon- rest of the nation that didn’t get what they over all experience. All the artists have at least ey, ya dig. If it ain’t no money talk, don’t even wanted, welcome to USA, ya heard? This is 15 years of experience and a high quality of waste your time. It’s about to be 2009, so the first election I ever really paid any atten- art. Atlas is located in North Portland at 4543 get your paper right. Nothing’s free, ya dig! tion to besides the 2000 joint when the Bush North Albina or by phone at (503) 281-7499. Contact Krispy Hendrix at or direct at (503) 839- you’ve got to salute a good heist, even when making an appointment secures your date 4567(serious inquiries only). you’re the one getting robbed! This election with the electric chair. had any and every one out in full force at New Releases to watch for: the polls: artists, Cool Nutz, The Miracle Street Album, athletes, actors, West Coast Stand Out celebrates the release drug dealers, es- of his latest album on December 22nd at the corts, convicted Doug Fir Lounge. felons, hoes and Dubble 00, Space Age Hood Slap, new- even the strippers. comer Dubble 00 releases an album of slapps Barack Obama for real December 30th. in 2008, time for some change! Year 2008 is a done deal. Year 2009 is Hopefully, this going to be the Year of the Champion. So isn’t just another get all the bullshit out of your program and opportunity to make this your year, ya dig! kill a black man. Until next time, George Clinton Kenny Mack

e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m   plastic surgery. Although plastic surgery Dear Naughty Santa, has been known to change people’s lives A girl can never have enough vibrators. for the better, it’s not something to offer But then again, you never know what an insecure female. Leave a message a gal reallllllly wants. I suggest a gift and tell her you’re a dumbass. card for a place like Babeland (look it —Pantera up online). A card for lingerie shops or porn rentals can be fun too. Having the option to make choices is always best Dear Bottom Line, when it comes to sexual/sensual gifts. My lover and I were exchanging pillow That way she can surprise you with talk after a romp in the sheets and whatever she buys, maybe it will benefit the subject turned to past lovers. both of you—rope or cuffs anyone? It all started out playful and fun Whatever you do, don’t offer to buy a in the beginning, but when the boob job or any other personal body subject of “how many” lovers altering kind of thing. That is something we had each shared our beds that has to originate and be acted upon with came up things got very by the woman and the woman alone. uncomfortable. My man told Sounds like you aren’t that much of me he had slept with more an idiot though. Nice of you to play than he cared to mention and naughty Santa! (Oh and if you are when I said, “It can’t be that thinking of getting something for me, Dear Pantera and Wildflower, bad. I’ve been with at least 30 men,” you will have to get past my Gardner My girlfriend of almost two years has he flew into an enraged tantrum, got first. My Gardner may beat you to any always been a little lacking in the breast dressed, called me a slut and stormed Santa-ness.) department. It has never bothered me out of the house. I guess sometimes —Wildflower Power to Ya! but I constantly have to listen to her bitch honesty is not the best policy? and moan whenever a well-endowed specimen pops up. So, for Xmas I Honesty is the best policy. Now you know Dear Dirty Santa, decided to buy her a boob job. I gave your lover is an ass with a total double I am so glad you brought it up for me it to her early so that she could show it standard. Move on and find someone to think on. I would like all manner of off during the holidays. But apparently who appreciates your experience. beautiful, sexy men to do my bidding, it was a bad idea, seeing as how she —Wildflower Power to Ya since I’m quit the needy bitch at times. ran out of my apartment in tears and If I happen to not be needy come Xmas hasn’t called me back for three days day, no worries, I will find plenty for now. Her best friend says my girl thinks them to do. Then I’d like a fleet of 10 that I got it for her because I want it for Dear Roll in the Hay, limos so I can take all my close homies, me. What now? What an asshole. I can’t believe you gave this guy enough thought to write including you Naughty Santa, to all my favorite places downtown. To finalize Dude, you blew it. Good Luck. in to us. Be glad he left. Not having to deal with a judgmental prick will my naughty day, I’d like all my boytoys —Wildflower Power to Ya save you much time in the future. I to come and play with me at once. Since should hope a wanker like that would I love each one for different reasons, it at least be responsible enough to ask would be the perfect holiday having all Dear DumDum, a question like that before he stuck his my favorite things at once. A boob job is something that girls dick in. Save yourself the melodrama —Pantera decide to get, buddy. Weather she‘s of a half-cocked soap opera. Seriously a topless dancer with a sugar daddy though, only 30? or a mother of three who wants to refill Need a Bottom Line? Send questions to: —Pantera [email protected] the bags. Her self-confidence issues were not helped by you offering to buy “We are in no way, shape or form people her tits. Even more affected now is her that you should actually listen to. This is by Dear Bottom Babes, no means a certified medical advice column. perception of how you perceive her. So We’re simply two gals living in the land of she bitches about big goodies, don’t I was thinking of getting you a naughty confusion with everybody else, sharing our pearls of wisdom as we see fit. be the dumbass who’s staring at the present for Christmas. What kind of melons. Take this perfect opportunity dirty little secrets would you like Santa to compliment your girl and the way to stuff into your stocking this year? that she looks or tell her to get over it. Whatever her obvious mental problems are they are not going to be solved by

  e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m plastic surgery. Although plastic surgery Dear Naughty Santa, has been known to change people’s lives A girl can never have enough vibrators. for the better, it’s not something to offer But then again, you never know what an insecure female. Leave a message a gal reallllllly wants. I suggest a gift and tell her you’re a dumbass. card for a place like Babeland (look it —Pantera up online). A card for lingerie shops or porn rentals can be fun too. Having the option to make choices is always best Dear Bottom Line, when it comes to sexual/sensual gifts. My lover and I were exchanging pillow That way she can surprise you with talk after a romp in the sheets and whatever she buys, maybe it will benefit the subject turned to past lovers. both of you—rope or cuffs anyone? It all started out playful and fun Whatever you do, don’t offer to buy a in the beginning, but when the boob job or any other personal body subject of “how many” lovers altering kind of thing. That is something we had each shared our beds that has to originate and be acted upon with came up things got very by the woman and the woman alone. uncomfortable. My man told Sounds like you aren’t that much of me he had slept with more an idiot though. Nice of you to play than he cared to mention and naughty Santa! (Oh and if you are when I said, “It can’t be that thinking of getting something for me, Dear Pantera and Wildflower, bad. I’ve been with at least 30 men,” you will have to get past my Gardner My girlfriend of almost two years has he flew into an enraged tantrum, got first. My Gardner may beat you to any always been a little lacking in the breast dressed, called me a slut and stormed Santa-ness.) department. It has never bothered me out of the house. I guess sometimes —Wildflower Power to Ya! but I constantly have to listen to her bitch honesty is not the best policy? and moan whenever a well-endowed specimen pops up. So, for Xmas I Honesty is the best policy. Now you know Dear Dirty Santa, decided to buy her a boob job. I gave your lover is an ass with a total double I am so glad you brought it up for me it to her early so that she could show it standard. Move on and find someone to think on. I would like all manner of off during the holidays. But apparently who appreciates your experience. beautiful, sexy men to do my bidding, it was a bad idea, seeing as how she —Wildflower Power to Ya since I’m quit the needy bitch at times. ran out of my apartment in tears and If I happen to not be needy come Xmas hasn’t called me back for three days day, no worries, I will find plenty for now. Her best friend says my girl thinks them to do. Then I’d like a fleet of 10 that I got it for her because I want it for Dear Roll in the Hay, limos so I can take all my close homies, me. What now? What an asshole. I can’t believe you gave this guy enough thought to write including you Naughty Santa, to all my favorite places downtown. To finalize Dude, you blew it. Good Luck. in to us. Be glad he left. Not having to deal with a judgmental prick will my naughty day, I’d like all my boytoys —Wildflower Power to Ya save you much time in the future. I to come and play with me at once. Since should hope a wanker like that would I love each one for different reasons, it at least be responsible enough to ask would be the perfect holiday having all Dear DumDum, a question like that before he stuck his my favorite things at once. A boob job is something that girls dick in. Save yourself the melodrama —Pantera decide to get, buddy. Weather she‘s of a half-cocked soap opera. Seriously a topless dancer with a sugar daddy though, only 30? or a mother of three who wants to refill Need a Bottom Line? Send questions to: —Pantera [email protected] the bags. Her self-confidence issues were not helped by you offering to buy “We are in no way, shape or form people her tits. Even more affected now is her that you should actually listen to. This is by Dear Bottom Babes, no means a certified medical advice column. perception of how you perceive her. So We’re simply two gals living in the land of she bitches about big goodies, don’t I was thinking of getting you a naughty confusion with everybody else, sharing our pearls of wisdom as we see fit. be the dumbass who’s staring at the present for Christmas. What kind of melons. Take this perfect opportunity dirty little secrets would you like Santa to compliment your girl and the way to stuff into your stocking this year? that she looks or tell her to get over it. Whatever her obvious mental problems are they are not going to be solved by

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