^¥¥17 STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE * MMMJ VOLUME 29, ISSUE 24, March 23, 1995 MELIORIST

(Photo by Leah McCartney) Shock Head Peter played last Friday afternoon, kicking off the Zoo's regular Friday afternoon live and free entertainment

Grim forcast for advanced Rex and Margorie Little awards dinner well received education by minister and raised in Lethbridge and raised organizations and businesses. As for By Cassie Liska their family here. Rex and Marjorie the future, both Marjorie and Rex "It guarantees around $300 Reporter qualified as the first husband and wife look forward to spending more time By Brad Pace million a year that would go towards team of C. A. sin 1958, Marjorie being with their family and hope tocontinue Reporter the debt," said Ady, who was in The faculty of Management's only the fifth woman to join the Alberta affirming the assets of Lethbridge in Cardston March 18, for a health Advisory Council and the Institute of Chartered Accountants. any way they can. For those students graduating this forum. Management Students' Society The couple established Little and The evening was concluded with year and washing your hands of "(If there was a surplus above hosted the eighth annual Little, their own accounting firm and the comedy by Bob Robertson of management scholarship fund dinner ran the growing business from their CBC's Flip Side and was followed university life, congratulations. For $300 million in one year), the rest of on Friday, March 17. The evening home. Starting in 1959, Rex was a by dancing with the Lethbridge Big the rest of you who are planning on it would go back into priority sireas, was in honour of Rex and Marjorie full-time manager for the Campbell Band. subsequent years of higher reinvestment back into the province", Little and was an overall success. Clinic and assisted with the couple's The evening was an overall education—things are going to get a said Ady. Beginning with greetings from accounting practice. In 1980, Marjorie success due lo the efforts of the lot worse before they get any better The debt would be the first the University and the Management accepted a position as a full-time organizing committee which in Lethbridge and the rest of Alberta. priority, according to the bill, and Students' Society, the evening then controller of Time Air. consisted of: Marilyn Hawryluk, That's if you believe less money for any surplus in the budget above $300 turned to the presentation ol awards. Rex has been a member ol the U of Dean Gallimore, George Lermer, education in Alberta will lead to a million would go into things like The 1995 case competition were then L Board of Governors, president of Rex and Marjorie Little and Roman awarded to the team of: Roman the Downtown Kiwanis Club and vice- Rybar. Corporate sponsorship made lower quality of education. education and health-care, said Ady. Rybar, Melanie Frayn, John Yagos, chairman of the Lethbridge Chamber the evening possible and contributed When the Albertan government Post-secondary students have Jim Regan ol Price Waterhouse, and of Commerce. Marjorie has been a to it's overall success. starts running a surplus, it will not already heard bad news from the Bob Harkness, the alumni member member of both the Treasury Additional 1994 awards and put some of the money back into the federal government, which decided of the team. The second award ol the Managers'Association of Canada and recipients include: The David places il cut to reduce its deficit, like to cut 30% of its transfer payments evening was the student consulting the American Women's Society of Hughes Scholarship: Sin Kiat Poll, education, said Jack Ady, the to the provinces next year. aw;ud and was presented lo Shelley Certified Public Accountants. In The Stubb Ross Memorial provincial Minister of Advanced Heather-Jane Robertson, the Mattson. addition, she was a member of the Scholarship: Colleen Meagher, The building committee for the Lethbridge Andy Anderson Scholarship: Diana Education and Career Development. author of Class Warfare: An Assault The evening continued with a tribute to Rex and Marjorie Little. and district YWCA, and an executive Arn, The Leonard Haney "As a matter of fact," said Ady, on Public Education, said at a speech Shining light on their past member of the Lethbridge C. A. Club. Scholarship: Diana Arn, The John and MLA for the Cardston area, "we at the Lethbridge Collegiate Institute, experiences and achievements, Looking back, both Rex and Williams scholarship: Serena have a bill tabled in the house March 14, that schools are Margaret Ross, Orvill Kope, Dennis Marjorie fell privileged to have been Overing, and The Reed C. and Eva presently which calls for the orderly dramatically affected by big (VConnell and Hob Wilson honored a shaping influence in the lives of Ellison Memorial Scholarship: Jason paydown (sic) of the deN, much as their friends. many Lethbridge individuals, families, Rosner. you would with your own mortgage." (See grim forcast on page 3) Moth Rex and Marjorie were born 2 the Meliorist. Mfar-eh 23, 1995 ' News Health plan cost Speaking the unspoken decreasing change, noting that "the Lethbridge By Kim MacDonald Community College has a $100 Reporter health care plan." Reducing the cost of the plan As of September 1995, students was one of Aspillaga's goals for at the University of Lethbridge will the last four months of his term. have a little bit less to pay when "I think we can still improve it," school fees come due. said Aspillaga, "it should decrease every year, not increase." as the inspiration for the new series. Stephens, who spoke on "The Worst Mistake In The Prehistory Of The THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHUKIlx;i To that end, By Tyler Ball Fine Arts student, Leanne Elias, was STUDENTS' UNION council Reporter in attendance at the last round of Human Race" , followed by passed a speeches and is one of the students professor Leslie Dawn's "Silence recommendation As part of the on going that pushed for a more in depth look And The Horizons Of Discourse" for next year's educational lectures known as "The at the issue. held on March 22. SI council that Speaker Series", a group of five Elias said that, "The symposium Future presentations will be made the price professors have prepared speeches was very interesting, but the speakers by professor Hillary Rodrigues', TUDENT HEALTH PLAN should to inform the audience about the talked for only a short time. Now "Truth Is A Pathless Land' on March decrease or interaction between the different this gives the professors a chance to 29, professor Rose McNairn's ,"The stay the same. faculties at the University of speak for an hour." History Of The Other: The Other 1995-96 "We Lethbridge. She also commented that "...the ' History' ?" on April 5, and professor should This topic, presented by the interest shown has been great." Jane O'Dea's "Engaging The Unfortunately .tuition fees are not control the price, not them", University of Lethbridge Art Club, No future plans for talks on the Ineffable:.A Validation Of The decreasing, but the cost for the Aspillaga said of the CFS, "as we has long been relevant at the same topic are currently planned, Aesthetic", on April 12. Student Health Plan is. are the buyer." University of Lethbridge, as but interest from both professors and It is stressed that the lectures will After negotiating with the Currently, the University of interaction in the past has been slow students has been enormous, be interesting and that everyone is Canadian Federation of Students Lethbridge health plan is one of the between the many disciplines. therefore, possibilities for more exist. welcome. Any comments or and Sun Life, the plan cost will be most expensive in the province. A prior symposium held by the All the lectures are to be held questions may be brought up at the reduced from $ 160 to $ 145 for the Posters have already been made education department, where every Wednesday in room B730 from discussions or can be addressed to coming school year. This amount to advise students of the reduction professors spoke on greater l2:O0-l:00i'M. The speeches began any of the professors involved. will be broken down into a $50 fee in price. The current CFS plan interaction between faculties, acted on March 15, with professor M.E. for the first semester and a $95 fee covers 80% of the cost for for second. prescription drugs, chiropractic "We have passed a motion to services, physiotherapy, massage approve, in principle, the $145 therapy, medical equipment and Forecast for advanced education contract with CFS and Sun Life", appliances, speech therapy, and Students' Union President, offers an ambulance benefit, dental (Continued from page 1) there that addresses all of that," said caseload from 90,000 plus in this Humberto Aspillaga, confirmed. accident benefit, and a tutorial Ady. province in the past 18 months, to Aspillaga hopes the $ 15 drop is benefit. It also allows for businesses and transnational "Advanced Education has a role just of 50,000," said Ady. only the beginning of price emergency travel medical coverage corporations. to meet the needs of adult learners, Ady says he wants to move away reductions. "I think I am still and accidental death and More and more, education is a to allow them to have a betterquality from what he calls "passive unhappy about it", he said of the dismemberment. way of adding market value to of life...whatever that means to welfare." educational consumers rather than them." "Welfare, for those who teaching students about the world. The education system will get sincerely need it and cannot provide STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE "Certainly, there is a part of the more support from the province than for themselves, will always be a An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union THE marketplace that has to be addressed the welfare system though, according priority. Those who are capable of but there's also a pail that..." Ady to Ady. contributing, need to have the paused, "those who want to go for Ady would not say that social opportunity to prepare themselves MELIORIST fulfillment—our system has always welfare is a high priority for to contribute by training and SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB T1K 3M4 been there for them." reinvestment. education, and we're moving in a meliorism • n. (L melior, better) Ady alluded to a "different "Social welfare, like health care, dramatic way to do that." The belief that the world naturally structure sometime in the future," is as we speak, being restructured. Ady said people are "not going tends to get better, and that this that would meet the needs of those We are of the opinion that there is a to be thrown out in the streets and tendency can be furthered by who want to learn as opposed to better way to deliver social welfare," neglected, but passive welfare, as human effort. those who want to get a job. said Ady. we have know it in the past, has to "I believe there will be a system "We have dropped our welfare The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, change." published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by the Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to the Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, The Meliorist will be holding elections for staff positions on Monday March 27 Lethbridge, Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone number is (403) 329-2333 or 329- in SU council chambers 2334. The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, Applications will be accepted up until noon on Monday March 27 timely letters. However, the Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author (special arrangements may be made for If you have any questions feel free to contact us in SU 166 or phone 329-2334 those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and Student identification number (address, I.D. and phone number not for publication). Letters may by edited for brevity, clarity and legality. THE The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nellie BUSINESS MANAGER Mark Mooney MELIORIST NEWS EDITOR Rose Herbut SPORTS EDITOR Graham Taylor ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Leah McCartney PHOTOGRAPHYEDITOR Jose Law fa* 1/ol. 29, totue #23 PRODUCTION MANAGER Richard Roe TYPESETTER Shelley Albert was Sinive Rollingson. The editorial staff of the Meliorist would like to thank ADVERTISING MANAGER Michael Tan Sinive for all of the CD reviews submitted last week. Your effort was qreatly ADVERTISING DESIGNER Bobbi Scheelar appreciated. ADVERTISING SALES Michael Tan Sinive receives four Movie Mill passes, a free membership at Audition DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Todd Berry CONTRIBUTORS: Kathy Roth, Tyler Ball, Brad Pace, Music, and three 6 pizzas from Domino's. Sadiq Javer, Cassie Liska, Wade Schulz, Chris and Harpel, Heidi Schmidt, Maria Ford, Simon Allain, G. Smartley, Darryl Anderson, Robert Willis, Katherine Smith, Pat Tanaka, Kim MacDonald 4 w Auidtio/i Mi/sic This issue is brought to you by freakin artistic integrity | • * Thank you to our sponsors * • March 23,1995 the Meliorist 3 News Melanie Carpenter Trans Canada University, ON) No one has been apprehended By Sadiq Javer Kerr Hall was evacuated March yet, but a set of fingerprints was Canada's daughter Reporter 6, due to a fire in the basement. This obtained. fire left minor damage and students Langevin warns all clubs to take Give us a vote of confidence criminals in jail even after Intoxication not an Excuse -The had the day off. Officials said the precautions when it comes to on our HELP LINE and support their sentence is served, if they Brunswickan (University of New blaze was set off by sparks from a security. the M.E.L.A.N.LE, (Make every are still a risk to society. Brunswick, NB) welders torch which landed on fan Life An Issue Everywhere) * Give police more authority in In reaction to Justice Minister filters, setting them on fire. The blaze Student Dies -The Endeavor campaign. apprehending and interrogating Allan Rock's announcement today was quickly extinguished. (Lethbridge Community College, On January 6, 1995, Melanie violent offenders, including the that intoxication cannot be used as AB) Carpenter was abducted from a ability to take blood and saliva a defense in crimes of violence. Thieves Strike Clubs -Gateway On February 19, the Lethbridge Andy Scott stated that "It only tanning salon in Surrey B.C. and samples (University of Alberta, AB) City Police found Cameron Scott makes sense that people are to be Thieves broke into the offices of Gunn's body below the High Level was brutally murdered and * Eliminate the insanity, drunk held responsible for their own the Undergraduate Genetics Bridge. Gunn, a student at sexually assaulted. It is believed or drugged defense actions." Association, the Zoology Students' Lethbridge Community College that this heinous crime was * Impose stiffer laws and "There's a standard core of Association and the Microbiology was enrolled in transitional committed by a man who was sentences for stalker criminals conduct we expect from our Students' Association, stealing $200 vocational training through the mandatorily released from prison * Reinstate capital punishment society, and committing a violent and two compact disc players from Continuing Studies program. even though he had known past for first degree murder in which crime because of intoxication isn't UGA, $400 worth of property from His instructors remember him violent convictions on his record. there is no doubt of guilt part of that standard", said Scott. MSA, and $100 cash as well as as a troubled man with simple but The friends and family of Melanie We would like to extend our "The proposed amendment to several hundred dollars worth of t- attainable dreams. are determined to change the legal sincere gratitude towards all the the criminal code not only speaks shirts /sweatshirts from ZSA. "He wanted to buy himself a to the overall issue of violence in system so we are safe on the people, known and unknown, "Now we have to hide things. We truck and wanted a girlfriend," says our society, but particularly can't keep valuables in our office instructor Eryn Crowe. streets. who have given their time and addresses the importance of without worrying about them," said Crowe said that because of the The rights of the innocent need energy to the task at hand. protecting women and children Kevin Friesen, ZSA co-president. small class size, it is making it hard to be protected, not those of Much more must be done to from abuse. I think most people The thefts occurred on the for the students to adjust to Gunn's criminals. see this endeavor to its successful find the level of violence against weekend, but were not reported until death. "It's difficult for them, we're To this end, we are promoting conclusion. "I will not rest until women and children shocking and Monday. Doug Langevin all just trying to find closure", said the following petition: the legislation in this country is will be pleased that the government commented, "although a student saw Crowe. * Keep dangerous sex offenders changed...", quotes Steve is taking action in this area" said a window broken from one of the Police say the cause of death and pedophiles locked up for life. Carpenter. Please fly a yellow Scott. doors Sunday afternoon but didn't was not apparent and are still * Eliminate mandatory release ribbon in support of this Fire at Ryerson-The Eye report it". investigating. * Impose stiffer sentences for campaign. Opener (Ryerson Polytechnic violent offenders We invite all Canadians to * Have violent criminals serve phone us with your vote of Trans Canada their full sentences and have time confidence at our Students'Art Society presents: added for bad behavior M.E.L.A.N.I.E. HELP LINE. * Have a central registry of the Mr. Carpenter has a personal names and addresses of violent message he would like to share The Theatre Arts Festival Friday, March 24, from 9AM to 5PM. offenders with you! There will be tours, demonstrations, interpretive movement pieces, French farces, a reading from Ronda * Give more power to the legal 1-900-451-4887, ext 128 Nubent's play on prositution, workshops, and musical performances. institutions to keep dangerous It's all free! Reminder: Directing projects will be held at the end of the month in the experimental theatre. Three Why work for peanuts Lines when you can sell them? Free...

Attention: Student requires accommodations for summer. A male student requires accommodations in Lethbridge form May 1, 1995 to August 31, 1995. If you would like to share or sublet your place this summer this may be the ideal situation for you. Please call Starting your own business is one way to guarantee yourself a job this summer. 381 -9233 and leave a message if you are If you're a full-time student returning to school this fall and legally entitled to work in Canada, the Student Business Loans interested. Program, the government of Canada's summer employment program for students, is offering loans of up to $3,000 to help To all you idiots with their mugs hooked you start a business. on their backpacks: What's next, pots Details are available at any branch of the Federal Business Development Bank, Canada Employment Centres, Canada and pans? Employment Centres for Students, any branch of the Royal Bank of Canada or the National Bank of Canada. Just come to us with your idea, and we'll see what we can do about putting you to work for someone you really like. You. Hey back-row bitch in Poli-Sci KXX) Call toll-free: 1 800 361-2126. with Prof. Long: SHUT-UP, we've all had enough! From thouroughly annoyed, one row down. Human Raaourca Davaloppam.nt d.i F=BDB NATIONAL BANQUE ROYAL BANK Davalopmant Canada rastourc.s humain.s Canada BFD BANK NATIONAL E Hello! (Hello!) (Hello!) Anyone out •*• 9 BANQUE ROYALE there? (out there) Canada

SUPPORTING THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE STUDENTS SUPER AND PROGRAMS SAM IIINN n.rrrvcv.1/APPRECIATIO- N FOR YOUR SUPPORT TO ALL STUDENTS: 5% DISCOUNT EVERY WEDNESDAY 110-COLUMBIA BLVD. ) CARD REQUIRED MINIMUM PURCHASE $10.00 4 the Meliorist March 23,1995 Comment

empirically define the concept of love. directly to the Adam and Eve of ihe But unfortunately my long detailed Judeo-Christian God, who in 35(X) B.C description of love empirically defined there is nocvidence for anyway, you jusj On Atheism rebuttal just won't fit here. My number's in the slipperily lead us to conclude there is a book If you want to hear it sometime. link and that is no valid support. I mean are subject to constant change right along God's purpose" you are necessarily 1st response to Mr. Shriner: I could site the fhxxl myth contained in By Simon Allain with each theory. As scientific theories presupposing God exists to be able to You pointed out certain things about the Gilgamcsh epic, which was also Columnist rise and fall based on the data which have a purpose. Making such a my Feb. 16article. Oneof you comments written before the Biblical fhxxl story, support or refute them so do the beliefs presupposition does not help your was based on my own ambiguity, which and, without saying the guy lhat sailed Response to Mr. Schuler: of the atheist. To keep one's beliefs in argument unless you can show on what was my own fault. But that ,as well as the the boat wasn't named Noah, say: "dws In order to understand where I am line only with what is currently most basis you make that supposition. For that restofwhat you say. still fails to discredit is one of the key points of this this remind you of a Sunday school coming from you must understand the testibly plausible in the absence of any my actual argument. My argument was lesson you heard when you were a kid?" following (and this also applies to Holly counterevidence is not faith. Plausibility investigation: to show on what basis we simply that though some religions do can suppose God exists. What I've been 2nd response to Mr. Shriner: Stogran): I am not trying to prove God is the key. Since God is no more testable emerge through the influence of If nothing but the blatantly fallacious does not exist. I already stated in the first than an invisible, floating, immaterial trying to illustrate all along is that there neighboring cultures, some religions arc more reasons for supposing he does argument you use to illustrate the column that because of how God is door knob he is no more plausible. emerge entirely separately from such Hypothetico-deductive mcxJcl is all lhal defined that cannot be done. So don't It is never unfair to dismiss a circular not exist than that he docs. But don't influence. The Nalive Americans and ever accuse me of trying to prove or confuse this with trying to prove is used for that model, than I can do argument if it is in fact a circular tribal peoples of Australia would be two nothing but agree that it looks like a disprove God. argument. anything. In this case, as I said before, examples of this. And since there is the Since, by the very definition of God, because of how wc define God, we can piece of crap. Bul what you really ought And what exactly do you mean when existence of separately emerging to be doing is showing me thai my he defies empirical testing of course the you say the "pros and cons" must be only kx)k for what is most plausible. religious beliefs by a distinct span at only way to know for sure if he is real or considered? What arc the pros and cons If you .ire going to say "theism is the particular arguments are based on least 1(),(XX) years, this is an indication fallacious scientific findings rather than not is to need empirical proof. It is the of each side? more reasonable choice" you have lo say of the arbitrariness of holding any one very definition of his nature that forces It is clear by your use of the term why since from my examination I have illustrating crappy science and religion as being truer or more real than associating it with whatever valid science me to use theory for my arguments and "brainwash" that you have no idea what not yet come to that conclusion. another. Thanks for mentioning the demand proof for God's existence. I do brainwashing actually is or how it is Response to Holly Stogran: I may be using and trying to make an temptation seal. Because of its existence, argument appear invalid by making it notexamine the issue of God's existence done. I have left a package in the Meliorist The argument that God won't let us we must conclude that it supports the as though it is a scientific theory to be office for you to pick up and read. empirically know him because we would hx)k tarnished when it really isn't. part of my argument where I said that the I wouldn't say that faith is more proven incorrect. The fact is anything I often hear religious people claim abandon him doesn't hold. If we could monotheism from which the Judeo- which is not falsifiable cannot be tested that science professors rareiy admit what empirically prove God's existence, appealing that beliefs based on induction. Christian God emerged "had a rich At least with inductively held believes as a theory and God by definition is not they are teaching is theory and nol fact. which unfortunately for your argument I cultural heritage from Which to draw," falsifiable. Therefore my reasoning is Unfortunately, my experience tells me am not trying to do, we wouldn't even you have some support or evidence for unless of course you happen to know the conclusion. But faith by definition neither inconstant nor unfair. It is the just the opposite. I have never met a have the option of trying to say we don't that there is no link between the unfalsifiablc definition of God which science prof that claimed any falsifiable need him because we would then Babylonian seal and the God of Judeo- requires that no evidence whatsoever be necessarily prevents equal and fair theory, including evolution, is fact. I absolutely know that wc have only two Chrislianily. Wc already know that there present to substantiate the belief. examination. have only heard them say "this is the best choices: Either praise him, or go to hell, was no actual Adam and Eve in the first Webster's dictionary even says lhat faith If, when you say an atheist has chosen we have as of yet." So unless you can case closed. For the simple reason that place, so how citing this seal is supposed is the "complete acceptance of a truth a side, you are implying atheists employ actually introduce me to some of these even if wc could empirically know he to help you argument, I don't know. which cannot be demonstrated or proved just as much faith in their beliefs as profs, I'm afraid I can't agree with you exists that does not negate the fact that he Besides you don't definitively say this by the pnx:ess of logical thought." I theists then I would argue that this is not on that. is all powerful and we arc not. tablet, in its proper context, is linked prefer to be logical in what I hold to be so. Insofar as an atheist's beliefs arc When you say "and by understanding And actually I have attempted to true. based upon scientific theory, these beliefs

r "i There simply are no standards right now, each and every person that HORRORSCOPES: you meet has vastly different attitudes on what they want and what is CUP AND SAVE FOR YOUR cxven s acceptable. I guess that, as usual, you have roll with the punches and ASSIGNMENT EXTENSIONS! stay on your toes so you don't get blind sided. "Roost I have had a couple of people tell me that I must have it all figured ARIES: I out. Well, I don't, I can only bring up things for us to think about, so Don't lift anything heavy today - this | includes pens, pencils and those bulky | we can explore the possibilities, so each of us can try to make some erasers. That term paper will just have to be | sense out of our own personal realities. I think philosophy class is put off to another day. rotting my brain. TAURUS: You don't really want to know. ^r\v\darsov\ Images/Negative GEMINI: Beware of bright lights today, especially Bare bulb, Naked to All This poem is dedicated to Natural Born Killers, Shel, and to one of the if they are blue and red and are attached to I Close your eyes and the spots remain... For awhile people who works at the Fresh Express, they will know what I mean. a police car. See the bulb and see the spots CANCER: I Or close your eyes and be in the dark Shotgun Morning Don't believe anything you read today, | Fresh Ideas, Fresh Ink on Fresh paper, see the beauty especially gossip columns, advise columns | Type it up and lose the Art It grows so suddenly, the rage inside and horoscopes... Turn up the sound storm in my mind The Kind that makes eyes narrow, fists clench, LEO: I'm in the mood... Right Now Jaw tighten, ears lay back, If you have a sharp pain in your chest and i Silence broken by a chuckle. Why go Back, Why go Back indeed? And teeth grind, ever so slowly the left side of your body is numb, today is • The rasping voice... So perfect The veil of darkness quickly envelopes, an ugly cloak to wear a good day to see a doctor. The angry words The kind of anger I want at the business end of a shotgun VIRGO: The lyrics they don't want to hear... In the past It's eyes wide in bold, bold realization You are a chick magnet, women will ' Or a smile and twinkling eyes Fear, raw and pure, reflecting just behind flock around you just to get the chance to I The make up that covers all... To some A shotgun has a distinctive look, a distinctive feel A feel of unadulterated talk to you, and see you. Whoops, wrong I Beauty is not in Perfection, babe power, a smell of power And a shotgun has a distinctive sound file... | Beauty is the Perfection within the Imperfection Followed by a very distinctive mess LIBRA: j Electron circling as fast it can, as best it can I suppose A spent shotgun shell makes an unmistakable hollowness As it hits the Only eat things that don't move. What do the other electrons think anyway? floor SCORPIO: A desert road, a clock in the sand in the ditch It doesn't want to tick Anger can burn harsh with frustration, in unresol vability Burning a hole If someone asks you if you're a god, say i anymore in the very soul yes. A Man alone, on a wooden chair in a field Bitterness streaming out the wound SAGITTARIUS: The crack disturbs not the sunset Forming a black puddle at your feet. If you own a red 1989 Ford Mustang, you It Hows refreshing... Till dark Standing in a pool of corrosiveness can consume the very being left your lights on. Darkness brings the Moon I don't want to vent my anger, I want to explode CAPRICORN: Darkness brings the Stars I always did like shotguns. Today you will find out that you are I Darkness brings the Northern Lights 10/28/93 really a Gemini and have been reading the I Darkness brings the sounds of the Nite wrong horroscope all these years. A Quail trailing her young DISCLAIMER: AQUARIUS: j Ready to scatter at the hint of Dawn I am not talking about any person in particular, any similarity Be sure not to put off putting off things I Ihe Stars are there to remind us that we are in a much, much larger between persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Lawyers are today or else you might accomplish i place than the one we can see expensive! something. Well, its going to be short this week. I notice that we are a group of PISCES: If you can recognize me from that horrible picture published a couple people that feel the need to know what the rules are (ol course you know Something will smell fishy to you today. weeks ago, introduce yourself to me and I will give you a prize If you I am speaking about relationships again...). can tell me what is the meaning of life, the universe and everything People are hard pressed to take the initiative because they are afraid. PROFESSORS: Bonus marks if you know the question. Afraid that they have read the situation wrong, or that things will Hang Loose (Especially the Profs for Chem, Physics, suddenly change on them, as so many things in life have the nasty habit PS. Thanks to Don for putting "Fhe End" to music. I am looking Drama and Phil 1000) Take it easy today, ol doing these days (especially when involving the government). forward to hearing it, even though it was published with a line put off the distraction and aggravation of I think we then fall into two schools of thought, those who feel that missing...Way too ironic! And Hi to Farley, BeeBop, Oracle, Jaina, marking assignments by giving everyone what they don't know won't hurt them so they go on blindly, and those Shel, srh, Kenuna, Smiles, Peanut, IBS, Skiwi, Mouse, Bile, Rags- an A+ of us who don't do anything risky unless they are absolutely sure of the Jaye, Doors, Pussycat, Orchid, Chaik-ne, umopepisdn, and anybody situation. Lately I have found that I am in the second group. L J that has "sex" within their IRC nick name. March 23, 1995 the Meliorist 5 Comment The lunatic Fringe Melanie Help-line Letter to the editor: University Information and Research is helping the Melanie Carpenter Campaign spread its message of concern and change in the criminal justice system. Mr. Carpenter will be appearing on the CTV talk show "Shirley" on Monday, March 20,1995 to share his story of the brutal murder of his daughter Melanie. During the station breaks there will be a commercial aired promoting the new M.E.L.A.NXE. (make every life an issue everywhere) HELP-LINE. The staff at CTV were wonderful in getting this commercial produced in under 24 hours, just 3 days before the show's airing date!

Yours Truly David Ferguson On Atheism The intended effects of this cognitive message are to inform people of FJilFPBJlIK By Simon Allain dissonance cannot SCREE N PRINTING Columnist their spiritual peril and have them be interpreted to be "I 91 fail • III! I V turn to Christ for safety and salvation. such things because This week I would like toexamine Upon praying and accepting Christ of their universal T-SHIRTS • CAPS • SPORTSWEAR the psychological dynamics of they may feel relieved and satisfied occurrence in • PROFESSIONAL CUSTOM • QUALITY HEAVYWEIGHT PRINTING & GRAPHIC T-SHIRTS, SWEATSHIRTS religious pamphlets which can often or even transformed depending on regards to any DESIGN &M0RE be found in phone booths, bus stops, their degree of sincerity. But is this situation in which • QUANTITY DISCOUNTS • FAST SERVICE and Laundromats and illustrate the feeling of transformation really there is a perceived implications this has for atheism. indicative of the presence of the Holy imbalance between 327-9699 Regardless of the particular Spirit as these booklets would seem what one is doing 2327 - 2nd AVE. IM., LETHBRIDGE Christian denomination or to indicate? and what one thinks organization that puts them out, To answer this we must turn to one ought to do. religious pamphlets all seem to have the unintended effects of this the same basic formula involving message. The structure of the the seven following elements: message is as follows: Rewards and/ 1. God has a purpose for every one or fear are represented which can be of us. He loves us and wants us to be gained and/or avoided respectively with Him. by doing a certain act. This structure You can take control 2. Humans have a problem.. We are however is common to many separated from God. Why? Because situations in life and the effects it has we are, above all things, sinful. on the mind in all situations are the of genital herpes We are sinful because we are willful, same. independent, rebellious, and we The proffered rewards may 7 «A*J mmXfHmitd like to think for ourselves. Whether initially act as a motivator but even we realize it or not human life without without it the fear and guilt invoked God is evil. When we dictate the plays just as effective a role in paths of our own lives it is because motivation and persuasion. It does Satan is deceiving us and this by setting up a dichotomy in the leading us astray. mind, first of something dreadful, 3. The consequence of separation then of something to alleviate that from God is death. "For the wages of dread. If what is portrayed as dreadful sin is death." (Romans 6:23) is accepted as dreadful in the mind 4. All attempts to reach God through the dichotomy between knowing the V human constructed, philosophies, problem and knowing the solution morals, good deeds, or (according sets up a tension known as cognitive imttj* to a pamphlet form Billy Graham dissonance. When cognitive ministries) religions are dissonance occurs one of two things insufficient to reach God. must happen. Either the behavior 5. The only way to reach God is must conform to the thought (which through accepting Jesus Christ as in this case is to accept Jesus), or the our Lord and savior. There is thought must conform to the current absolutely no other way to be united behavior. So if the picture fails to be with God. painted as adequately dreadful or 6. We must take action. We must the rewards not desirable then, the pray to Jesus saying that we admit behavior will not conform to the ...and your life that we are sinners, that we need thought. If the picture is adequately dreadful or rewarding then the Him, and that we want I lim to control Coping with recurrent symptoms availability of affordable treat­ behavior will conform to the thought. our lives to become what He wants such as itching or burning pain, ments, and counselling — can Until one or the other events tingling, sores, or even localized help you get your life essentially us to be. occurs, the tension will remain redness in or near the genital back to normal and potentially 7. Lastly, we are told that for doing causing indefinite and unalleviable area has never been easy. Add keep outbreaks out of the picture all this we receive the reward of to this the emotional impact of for years. stress. It is easy to see how this eternal life, salvation, happiness, guilt, resentment, depression... stress, which takes the form of guilt, To confidentially learn more etc.... a disruption of daily life. fear, or general upset can be viewed about reducing the severity and Now, lets' see what kind of Advances in medical research frequency of genital herpes as being caused by sin. When the now enable you to do some­ outbreaks, and minimizing the psychological effects this message choice is made however there is has on people, how it has those thing about genital herpes out­ risk of transmission through always necessarily a feeling of relief breaks. A greater understanding safe sex guidelines, contact the effects, and why. We will also see from anxiety. Likewise we can see of genital herpes — plus the National Herpes Hotline. ho w the general order of the message how this feeling of relief can be has key psychological effects. 1 will thought to be some form of spiritual examine all of the effects by making CAII 1-800-HSV-FACS warmth or by the interaction of the v^***'*' 1-800-478-3 2 27 a further distinction between Holy Spirit. But really the effects And consult your physician intended effects and unintended caused by the build up and release of effects. 6 the Meliorist March 23, 1995 Comment Statistics that persuaded the British government Lethbridge alumnus wins pension This is the current status of the Dr. Irwin D. Bross, Scientific reviewed by medical personnel to Joint NAAV-Trinity Post 7-45 Advisor to Trinity Post, after ensure proper nomenclature. from British government Mortality Study of Atomic Veterans. reviewing the first mortality report, The findings .are based on cataloguing determined that the excess cancer Type of Cancer No. Cases Laurence Deverall, a former student of the University of mortality data from a random sample death rate for Atomic Veterans was Average Age at Death Lethbridge, has just been awarded a military pension by the of death certificates for radiation approximately 68.33%. Interval Pensions Appeals Tribunal of Great Britain. This court exposed veterans. Todate, there have The cancer death rate now for all Lung 74 decision, the first of its kind in Britain, brings to an end a 25 been approximately 379 death 379 confirmed deaths is 58.66 32.45 yrs. year fight by Deverall for compensation for the loss of a leg, due certificates for veterans whose approximately 75.72%, and the Leukemia 33 58.09 32.45 yrs. to a malignant neoplasm, in 1970. The award, if made radiation exposure has been average age at death, again for all radiation exposed deceased veterans Colon 19 retroactive to 1970, may well exceed $200,000. confirmed. In addition, there are another 86 death certificates for men is 58.6 years. In the group of 86 60.00 33.68 yrs. Deverall, while in the Royal Air Force, was present at the whose radiation exposure have not unconfirmed veterans, the cancer Lymphoma 19 atomic weapons testing site at Maralinga in South Australia in yet been documented. Generally death rate is 77.90%. 57.21 32.26 yrs. 1956. One of the four bombs exploded and sent fallout back speaking, the cancer death rate of In the latest tabulation, researchers Prostate 17 over the military complex where the on-site personnel lived. 75% remains constant. In fact, have also begun determining the 65.11 35.35 yrs. This fact was kept a secret from the enlisted men for 30 recalling the first report on 200 death interval of time between exposure Myeloma 15 years until it was revealed by the Royal Commission of Enquiry certificates, the cancer death rate was and death for those cancers where 60.04 37.20 yrs. into Britain's conduct of the Atomic Weapons Trials in approximately 75% and the average they have recorded seven or more Pancreatic 14 60.21 37.28 yrs. Australia in 1985. It was finally admitted by the UK age at death was 58.3 years for all men dying from the same type of radiation exposed veterans, regardless cancer. Again, all entries from death Brain 10 Government's Health physicist that Deverall ingested of the cause of death. certificates in the data base have been 59.02 35.20 yrs. plutonium, an alpha-ray emitting radionuclide with a half life of 250,000 years. The court decision, consisting of 12 pages, reveals that the UK Government's arguments failed because they were not able Moods and mating urges to present in court, the base data on which they based their straight to my heart, mind, and body saw many people wearing shorts, claim of "No Conceivable Injury." By G. Smartley by offering chocolate. (Well, I including a guy who put an ironic It was admitted by the defendants, that some records had Columnist exaggerate some.) twist on it, by first putting on his been destroyed 35 years ago, while other were simply not to be I put it down to spring fever and white lorig-johns. Show your found. Excuse my poor manners for my hormones are peaking. There's a individuality, we need more of it. In his battle with the British government, Deverall was able notproperly introducing myself last restlessness in the air. Others I've Let spring fever be your excuse. to enlist the help of Dr. Dennis Connolly, the head of the week, but last week's column was talked to, have expressed spring fever Spring makes me want to write department of mathematics, here in Lethbridge. Dr. Connolly timely. I'm a first year student in symptoms. It's something like this: I poetry (no matter how wrong). Sorry was able to prove, by proper statistical analysis, that the British the arts and science faculty, I haven't don't care, my midterms are over, if I offend anyone. I'm going to let National Radiation Protection Board reports—commissioned decided what to major in yet, it the sun is out and I don't want to be 'errip... cooped up in this institution by the UK Government to prove that no one had been injured changes every week. Lately, I've been majoring in life as the money anymore! So what, there's a research The Short Comings of Spring by their testing—was nothing more than a "snow-job" designed from my student loan is almost non­ paper due and a few other Winter white or tropical tan to placate the British people. Dr Connolly will be delivering a existent. assignments, and then the final. I Show me your legs. Man, oh, man. paper on this subject to the International Nuclear Test Veterans The name of the column— DON'T CARE! GET ME OUT OF and Atomic Bomb Survivors Conference to be held at the m&m's—candy with alliteration. HERE! The truth be known, University of Lethbridge from June 25 to 30. Got to lov'em. I admit I' m a choco­ Reality check: I have to be here. I like legs where hair has grown. The favorable decision in this case will affect all those holic. I love chocolate. You can Coping Method #3 (after 1. eating When pressed against my own, veterans who were on the tests with Deverall. It will also have your coffee any day. Give me chocolate 2. screaming) change your Boy, oh, Boy do they make me improve the prospects of those widows and their children, chocolate in a cup, in a bar, any clothes, wear bright clothes. Purple moan. whose fathers also served at Maralinga, to get compensation. way, I'll eat it up. JUST GIVE IT is my passion. Definitely, wear TO ME! It's like an aphrodisiac for shorts. I was secretly pleased when I Happy spring fever! me. I admit that a man can get

Don't let SCRATCHES bring you down! Now you can maintain peak performance In defense of philosophy lecture in your CD collection with our new technology. To the editor, of anti-male sexism, I suggest. commissions, and national headlines G. Smartly (March 16) takes •Laser Videodiscs * CD-ROM So unconcerned and decrying violence against men, in exception to a claim that I mentioned unsympathetic is Smartly to the g^f^%n 'Compact Discs * Karaoke Discs spite of the fact that men are, overall, in my lecture for the Philosophy victimization of men that she cannot twice as likely as women in Canada CANADA COft'OlATION Club, that perhaps as many rapes fix her attention on male rape for to be the victims of violence. COMPACT DISC REFACING occur each day to men in American more than a minute before diverting According to a Statistics Canada prisons as to women in the rest of her thoughts to female victimization. study called Patterns of Victimization Audition Music American society. To a reasonable She says, "This statistic does nothing in Canada, "students report the 317B - 7 St. S. (Downtown) 329-6116 person, this claim might suggest how to address one of my concerns with highest rate of victimization [among serious this largely ignored problem this issue." Indeed it doesn't, because lifestylecategories]... Although male is. But all Smartly has to say about it Smartly, not unlike the average and female students report almost is, "Men are getting raped in these Canadian citizen, is conveniently identical rates of [non-violent] institutions because there is [sic] no unconcerned about male personal theft, male students have a LOVE women in these places." So what? Is victimization. She is correct to rate of violent victimization almost it supposed to matter to a rape victim suggest that men in the general 60% higher than female students." that he or she was the rapist's second population have less to fear of rape In Canadian Social Trends (Statistics AWAITS preference? than women, even if men in prison Canada, 1988), researcher Holly Suppose one were to say, "Sally are almost infinitely more likely to Johnson says, "One of the ironies of was raped at the billiards hall last be victimized. But this does not crime in Canada is that those who night because Suzie doesn't go to contradict anything I had said. In express the greatest fear of crime are YOU!!! these places." (Had Suzie been there, fact, I made if perfectly clear in my often the least victimized. While she would have been the preferred talk—several times, actually—that women and elderly people are the victim.) What is the point? Does this women are victimized in our society most likely to fear for their personal fact in any way diminish the just as much as men are, though safety, they are not the groups at $2.99 significance of the crime against different ways. But the purpose of highest risk of victimization." Sally? Isn't this observation just a my talk, which was advertised Not content merely to per min. callous or even cruel diversion of abundantly clearly, was to raise misconstrue my arguments, Smartly concern away from Sally? Why, then, consciousness of the vice versa: that concludes her little snit with a men are victimized in our society does the fact that women are completely ignorant (and irrelevant) just as much as women are, though Must be unavailable to male prisoners so personal insult. Ironically this easily divert Smartly's attention in different ways. If Smartly was not illustrates precisely the hostile, knee away form the serious victimization interested in having her 18yrs. jerk reaction toward the politically of men to which I alluded? Or consciousness of this matter raised, incorrect subject of anti-male sexism suppose one were to say, then she might as well not have which I had identified in my talk. I "Homosexuals are getting beaten up come to my talk. have no problem with "a woman s in municipal parks by neo-Nazi skin­ Smartly says, "As a woman, I am heads because there are no Jews in point of view getting publicized, 1-900-451-4410 always aware of my vulnerability." my problem is with stupid, biased, these places." The anti-homosexual The problem which I addressed in prejudice in such a statement is and inaccurate views getting my talk is that men are not made publicized. EXT. 4709 obvious to everyone. That these similarly aware of their vulnerability; statements are so patently abused indeed, they are socialized to when every other societal group but Sincerely, New/call. Ltd. (602) 954 7420 suppress their fear. There are not Grant Brown men are the victims is strong evidence public awareness campaigns, royal March 23, 1995 the Meliorist 7 MOVIE MILL 24HR LISTINGS MOVIE Mil B"^ I mNettwerk Records( Sarah various trinkets displayed. With must purchase these discs. They are McLachlan's The Freedom Sessions video and audio from all of Sarah's well worth the extra dough. The beer CD + MM and Ginger's Far Out CD albums and some narrative about money you may spend on them is By Wade Schulz + MM). Through my very limited touring and working with World sure to be replaced by the "6 packs" spheres of influence and the great So your parents felt the need to your not so freeloading friends will generosity of Nettwerk records, I bring over in order to experience not purchase a computer for your studies have gotten my mitts on copies of (Of course you told them that a maxed only the sound of a new CD, but also both Sarah McLachlan's CD + MM the sight of it. So hurry down to your out multi-media unit with a great and Ginger's CD + MM. sound card and CD-ROM was a local record store and make sure you I guess a better explanation of necessity). For those of you that get the Multi-media versions of these these discs is in order. CD + MM is were granted the extras, it is now discs. a standard audio CD with the added time to use them. What then is a Oh Ya, I almost forgot, these bonus of Multi-media Computer budget-minded student to do with discs are certain landmarks in our applications thrown in for just an CD-ROM software priced way above musical history ( record review extra couple of bucks. Thetwodiscs a night out at the Zoo? I have the portion of the entertainment section that I am testing here are reasonably Ginger's Far Out CD + MM is the answers, Yes that's right, Multi­ of this weeks Meliorist). priced just slightly above the regular second disc offered up by Nettwerk. media CD-ROMS with playable CD For more information on these and CD versions, giving up only the first Ginger, as no self respecting CKUL audio tracks on them. other discs tune into CKUL 99.7 track of audio to make room for the DJ would ever forget is really the Cable FM between 8 am and 12 am As everyone knows students live computer portion of the disk. most recent incarnation of The Grapes Of Wrath (minus the everyday except Sunday or for you for CD's, listening to music on your In order to fairly review these drummer). This disc followed the computer people E-Mail Nettwork discman is a must during those times disks I made use of two Ms-Dos same format as Sarah's disc, the directly at nettwerk® mindlink.bc.ca. of trudging through that $72.00 based systems(these CD's will also Vision this disc is jammed with info. Nettwerk records also has a World Constitutional Law text for that Poli- work On Mac) in order to represent Everything on the disc is very well only difference here is instead of Sci class, you once thought was the majority of students in the free done, quality is very high in both clicking on trinkets one clicks on wide web site where you the modern interesting in the registration guide. world. The first was a 386DX with Video and Audio. This disc worked dogs heads. Yes, you do read quit student can sample portions of these Believe it or not, record companies 5 megs of RAM in order to represent on both systems reasonably well but well, DOGS, these are the very discs before you buy. The address is know this, they also know that many the less than affluent majority. The the 8 meg machine really shined on same dogs that adorn the album cover. http://www.wimsey.com/nettwerk. students own computers. From this, second system was a 486DX with 8 the video portions of the disc. If you This disc was also very good in the Users can access this site on U of L's video and audio department, but system by using the graphics only lacked in the personal voice over and Web browser "lynx". band information areas. This disc YOUR BICYCLE PROFESSIONALS also had lesser minimum hardware Wade Schulz currently manages OVER 50 YEARS OF SERVICE TO SOUTHERN ALBERTA requirements( only 4 megs RAM CKUL radio here at the UofL He is minimum). a fourth year Political Science BERT & MACS This shows in the quality of video student with terrible addiction to new clips. On this disc the video was technology. You can hear CKUL by CYCLE LTD. mostly still shots displayed in a sort using your local cable feed as an THE BEST QUALITY BIKES FOR YOUR MONEY of slow motion photo album timed antenna input for your reciever. For with the music. more information contact Lethbridge 3 All IRA STUDENT &>Rollerblade Overall these discs are the way to Cable Vision or CKUL during office go if you not only like the music, but hours at 329 - 2335. TREK USA PRICE CARD O^KLSY ACCEPTED DIAMOND BACK RALEIGH The Bridge Society: • FINANCING AVAILABLE O.A.C. • PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCED TECHNICIANS • BICYCLE SALES & SERVICE 12 MONTHS A YEAR • WE TAKE TRADE-INS • REPAIRS TO ALL MAKES AND MODELS 913 -3rd AVE. S., LETHBRIDGE FAX 320-9266 The Birth of a new art 327-3221 328-6162 YOUR BICYCLE PROFESSIONALS movement at the U of L

HWIIGE sensory environment and alternative spaces, over the next randomly chosen consecutive months the Bridge Society will expose art and MONDAYS AT its new making to the mass public Void of cultural elite bias unti such time as it becomes popular, then to disband will be the focus of the life span within this s(K:ety. A new movement has been Dealing with the inability to formed within the U of L's art distinguish between degrees of department. Begun by a core of fine clarity, to challenge the bankruptcy art graduates, they are collectively of artistic language within this known as the "Bridge Society". community. Void are we to the Their goal is to bring art to the conversation of intellectual masses by mass producing work in masturbation that cumulates in a factory type, assembly-line academic erection. fashion. Art will become more The fellowship of artisans has KARAOKE NIGHT accessible to the average person chosen for its open forum the and all work will be collectively abandoned buildings, landscapes identified as the group's. The gioup and vast whiteness of mass media ol 9:00 p.m. To 1:00 a J also intends to exhibit work outside this particular urban geographic of the conventional gallery setting, environment to reflect the current A placing it instead in a series of revolution of the art state. alternative spaces—abandoned The group calls upon all artisans buildings, for instance. of like spirit with brutish attitude The Bridge Society plans to and free minds to engulf the ideas ol publish their unofficial manifesto the society, to lift the veil of cultural at v later date. The following is status and refurbish the bankruptcy their brief letter of introduction: of the artistic soul. MIXED SCOTCH DOUBLES Manifesto to follow. 8-BALL TOURNEYS The Bridge Society Begins Today The challenge of this society is in EVERY MONDAY AT 7 P.M. (Bridge as a metaphor for art in the breaking down of the established society) understanding of art, and in the $10/COUPLE - $50 ADDED The Bridge Group, a process of redefining it, creating a MAXIMUM 16 TEAMS subsidiary of the Art Factory, new art sub culture. o breathes life today, made up from Any one interested in contributing —-ci an epoch of artisans from the U of to this movement can contact any L's dunce capped halls. one of the members at their first Within the boundaries of current exhibition scheduled for late AprH-j March 23, 1995 the Meliorist 9 Entertainment A hankerin' for The The

titled "The The play Hank". Well, Cohen. idea, but I'd much rather hear more The's next major release is Robert Willis two years after its proposed release If you're a fan of William's you of Johnson's own work. Besides the something called Gun Sluts. Let's Staff Writer date, the listener is given an eleven won't be surprised that many of his leangth of the album, my only other hope that Mr. Matt Johnson puts his song album (only 33 minutes long big hits like: There's a tear in my disappointment was that Johnny love for other artists on the back If the good Lord's willing and the mind you) going under the name beer and, Monkey Tonkin' are re­ Marr (Smiths guitarist/songwriter) burner and remembers that his own creekdon'trise77^7Vir will continue Hanky Panky. At first thought, I made. Matt Johnson has not only has left the band. Marr's refusal to work is the stuff that legends are to release quality work like their wondered, "why is Johnson covering paid tribute to Williams, but also follow Johnson from England to L. A. made of. latest release, Hanky Panky, well crunchy country tunes from the guy paid him a huge honour; this I think were into the twenty first century. who's son (Hank Williams Jr.) few die-hard country fans would Johnson Although Panky is the least riveting personifies Yanky white trash racist deny. On songs like, Your cheat in' now calls of their albums, it is another example sexist gluttony?" The answer is, that heartt and / can't Escape from you home has THE STORAGE BIN that rock music is a bonafied art Williams lyrics like Johnson's own, , Johnson plays it safe, and stays true stripped the form. After fourteen years of music are passionately simplistic. to the original. Buton the songs, I'm band of his MINI STORAGE making, Matt Johnson (the nucleus Although there is a huge a long gone daddy and, Honky pure HOUSEHOLD & COMMERCIAL of The The) has not become Mr. my- dichotomy between the two artists, tonkin', Johnson adds an infusion of genius, and music-sucks-shit-now, but-look-at - both seem to be able to write pieces, blistering guitar and base that the closest L 328-7000 my -money -and -babes. Instead, when read on the liner notes sound completely transform the song from thing The •PAVED *FENCED he's waylayed pursing trends, stuck its original body, and makes them The has had naively corny; but when sung by •EACH UNIT LIGHTED to his own unique style, and built a either, seem like the most beautifully complete. to a major •21 SIZES - FROM 4'X 5' fan base large enough to have true words in the world. Or perhaps Hanky Panky is the first in a series contributing •SECURE STEEL WALLS Depeche-mode as an opening act on Johnson's voice is justso masterfully of future records which pay tribute second •MONITORED ALARMS •OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK their last major American tour. incredible, that if he covered the to some of Johnson's favourite member. When I first heard of The The songs of Joey Laurence instead of singer/songwriters. This is a novel The 1420-31St Street N. Lethbridge, Ah T1H 3J8 covering the songs of the late Hank Hank Williams they would still come Williams Sr. it was only to be an E.P. off sounding comparable to Leonard

Let's quibble over popcorn LIVE MUSIC AT THE ZOO!!! IF YOUR CAREER GOALS REACH mm A McJOB, (Photo by Leah McCartney) on forever and talk about nothing By Leah McCartney (somewhere, God, or Buddha, or READ ON. Entertainment Editor Neitche, rolling around in his dusty grave, are letting out one Especially if you're a business school grad with a Wow! What a deal! Gee huge, immaculate YAWN!) - who willikers, I can go and see a movie cares? concentration in accounting and corner-otfice for the fantastico price of only The point is, movie-shmovie, ambitions. one dollar and fifty cents! Yahoo, God-shmod, there is LIVE the movies aren't...that old, and MUSIC at the Zoo, every Friday Because you could be a candidate for enrolment in the drive over to the South side afternoon (following the example the Professional Program leading to a CMA isn't...that long, and the idiots of the University of Calgary's (Certified Management Accountant) designation. who seem to always sit behind me oh-so-successful "Stress and point out the obvious Management" ), treating a It's the program that adds power to your business throughout the whole movie happy-to-be-there crowd to local school credentials, giving you the financial, band "Shock Head Peter" this ("hyuk, hey, that's Captain Kirk management and strategic skills sought after By talking to Jean Luc past Friday. Paccard!")..well, they aren't too AND this Saturday night, I shit today's smart employers. Skills vou can use on the annoying, so what the hell, right? you not, you can catch three job immediately, even while you're working toward I mean, what else is there to do? bands, (Mother Divine, Negative your designation Shadow dancing at Rebel's has Feedback and Purge - all Calgary about burnt itself out, and the independent bands, who have So, call today for more information about the theaters that play new releases kindly agreed to play for next to CMA Professional Program, and about the are soooo expensive, right? nada) at the Zoo. Entrance Bxam that qualifies you for admission Well, actually, (not to be nit- Yes, you have found me out, picky or anything but...) What this is a shameless plug for the The deadline tor Entrance Exam applications is you save in entry-fees, you fork "Bring on Spring Patio Bash" May 12, 1995. out for popcorn, and then some. I happening at the Zoo on Saturday wanted to write an article about night. I can't help myself, I'm how puny the mondo-expensive just so deliriously happy to see bags of popcorn you get at the my University pub resurrected. ever-so-economical Movie Mill For some reason, (the gods - no actually are, and make the pun intended - are smiling on the brilliant point that seeing a newer U of L), things are picking up release at the Cineplex Odeon, around here. Certified Management Accountant popcorn included would cost Three bands for four bones, about the same in the end anyway beats the hell out of the Movie SOCIETY OF MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTANTS OF ALBERTA (all of this is pretty much true), Mill on a Saturday night, that's 1-800-332-1106 but really, in this day and age of for sure. atheist/theist arguments that go J 10 the Meliorist March 23, 1995 X-tra Under the Sun of Satan: (Foreign flick review) A 'Skating' Tribute To Disney thai an intermission with these foreign probably mean a lot more. Although One of the performances is By Harpel and Chris Hicks would help us to relied...|"No we should mention that having a nice French speaking Catholic girl was no from Beauty and the Beast. Two Staff Writers Chris! Don't type "reflect!" I just wanted the break to make the movie help at all. of the skaters performing are; seem shorter and to let me go pee"| C: Anything else guys? 14 year old Jennifer Moser and OK, this week's guest reviewer is Liz. L: You guys haven't said anything | Harp is now lying on his stomach 15 year old Nina Furukawa. We picked a French foreign Hick, and about the plot with a pillow over his head to ignore They play Gaston and Belle since Liz is a French major, we figured she could help us out. H&C: Yes he did - the jacket thing. me, and Liz is dreaming of turtle respectively. ()ther than the twisted plot that went cheesecake| LlMi The two teens are involved in C: HARP!! Gel up! The movie's over our heads, there were some things I.: Je ne saispas, je ne veux pas savoir. many different aspects of over. What did you think? that were pretty nifty: Satan walks C&H: Uhhh, yeah, in the words of skating. They coach junior H: Chris - how did it end, and what with the priest for a while, a sixteen- Jean-Claude Van Dame: Ooooo- skaters twice a week and skate happened to that one guy? year old mistress slits her own throat reeeee-vwair. themselves 3 hours a day, 6 days |()K, here's the scene. We watched with a straight blade, and the priest is On our rating scale (since there's not a week in Precision, Free, and part of the show, then stuffed our endowed with supernatural powers. a lower mark) we say: Don't gel it, Figure Skating. They compete 2 faces and tried to come back to watch If someone were really knowledgeable don't rent it, don'leven think about it. Liz: Ne touche pas! or 3 times a year and perform in the show. Mistake #1 -we laid down about Biblical stuff, the movie would the Carnival. on the futon. Mistake #2 - reviewing Jennifer has been skating for one good foreign Hick, and assuming Whetstone Presents: that this one would be good.| 12 years. She intends to take her C: You know what? I was awake for skating as far as she can. Nina the whole show, but I still haven't 1994 Governor General has been skating for 5 years and figured out what that guy's all also would like to continue with aboul...comments Liz? Award-winner Robert Hilles (Photo by Katherine Smith) her skating. They both enjoy L: Ummmmmmm - I just didn't Press), won the 1994 Writer's Guild of Jennifer Moser and Nina watching skating on television. lyawn) get il. Let's just say that this Jennifer's favorite is the newly wasn't worth my time to give a good By Maria Ford Alberta Georges Burnet Award for Furukawa, two skaters in the Staff Writer best novel. A new btxik of his prose, Tribute to Disney on ice, at re-crowned 'King' of skating and analysis. Any movie that makes me fall asleep at 6:30pm perhaps isn't all entitled Near Morning, is slated lo Nicholas Sheran Ice Centre this two time World Champion, Elvis appear in 1995. that interesting - it's all f**ked up. Robert Hilles, a Calgary poet whose Saturday Stojko. seventh book of poetry, Cawfos From A Hilles makes the short journey to H&C: ()oooh - and your lime is worth With all the time they spend Small Room (Wolsak and Wynn). won IxMhbridge for a Whetstone Presents so much more than ours.... on their skating, they have little the 1994 Governor General's Literary leading at.the Blue Boomerang on L: |nasty expletives| By Katherine Smith time to do much else. Social lives Award for Poetry, will be in Lethbridge Saturday. March 25, 7:30 pm. Local H: We thought that this would be a Staff Writer a re almost non-existent. Jennifer Saturday. Born and raised in Kenora, poets Maria Ford and Martin Oordt will good Hick, with Depardieu in il and Ontario. Hilles has been a Calgary be opening the night with readings of goes to Wilson Middle School all, but it wasn't all we hoped for. resident for 18 years, where he teaches their work. Oordt's collaborative, multi­ Every year at this time the and Nina goes to Catholic C: I'd liked to explain the plot to you, computer programming at the DeVR Y media project , "Prairie Visions", was Lethbridge Skating Club has an Central School. They don't even bul I don't think that I'm smart enough Institute of Technology, and raises two recently seen and heard al the Trianon end of the year Carnival. This have time for after-school sports. lor awake enough] There's a priest children with his wife, Rebecca. Gallery between February 4 and March year the mini-extravaganza is But they are dedicated to their (Depardieu) who is going through Hilles' poetic collections include; 5 of this year. called A Tribute To Disney. sport. internal dilemmas of faith, morality, Ixwk The Lovely Animal Speaks. The Hilles will be available for autographs Every class, every level, every You can see these skaters in and temptation - but I (once again) surprise Element. An Angel In The and conversation after his reading. His read the jacket cover. You know, Works, Outlasting the Landscape. appearance is made possible by skater of every age involved in their performances on Saturday Finding The Lights On, and A Breath Whetstone, the Canada Council, and the program will be skating to a March 25th at the Nicholas maybe il would have been betler if we didn't take the one hour feed lesl mid­ At A Time. the Sandman Inn. Don'tmiss this chance different musical number from Sheran Ice Center. There are to hear award-winning poetry in way. Also a prose writer, Hilles' first Disney movies. novel. Raising Of Voices (Black Moss lethbridge! two shows at 2:00 and 7:00pm. , II: I take the blame for that -1 thought

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Mark 4 Marty. Craig 4 Morag- Jason Poiley Corey Wilson 4 Rob 5teivart: Connected With Mark And Shamir 4 His Lopsided Trainer Uplift Mofe Mello 4 Mot So nner Star Marty Mello Party Plan (9-I2AM) •".chert Willis- lommy 4 Steirri Kevin Matls 4 Geoff McHardy Ahdem &lmpkln.) Harvey 4 Miles Show (I0-I2AM) ii Ready. Set. Kockl (IO-I250AM) Perry Sundstrom: Holly Stogran 4 Shandra Kan Dahll'f.j- Robert Patrick 4 Sheldon S: AM) Mltchne: (ll-2:5dAM) (I2-2:50AM) (ll-12:50AM) March 23, 1995 the Meliorist 13 r,MOVI E MILL COUPON~ i $1.00 MATINEE CULTRACUTS J r % Off West Village Mall Westminster Mall I $2.00 AFTER 6PM I *) with UofL 148 Columbia Blvd.W. 425-13 SLIM. Sports 1 ^student card 381-0440 320-9696 Jr"AJ.ID.Mp^-THyRS^ | Player Profile - Debb Carpenter likes to use excuses," he said, league, having just over an 80% referring to the flu bug the team success ratio. encountered its last week before Next year, Carpenter feels that playoffs. Carpenter felt at that not only the league will be stronger crucial point in Ihe season, instead overall, but the Pronghorns will of the team remaining focused, the improve as well. He thinks because missed practices really hurt them. of the graduating Pronghorns great "It just seemed like the bottom fell leadership and influence last year, out." the returning players will be able to Carpenter added a lot to the team develop and improve. this year as one of the 10 new faces Look for Carpenter, with one on the Horns roster. He played all year of university hockey behind 28 games, scoring six times and him, to add some leadership and adding 10 assists. Debb was a key maturity of his own as he strengthens factor on the teams penalty-killing his role on the team as an intense unit which was ranked second in the player and leader.

(Photo by Graham Taylor)

winner." Dwight Mullin with toning his By Graham Taylor Carpenter feels that the CWUAA hockey skills and developing his "YOUR YEAR ROUND EXCLUSIVE BIKE SHOP' Sports Editor is a prime division to foster those character. emotional games with the close Debb felt that his time in Red This season's Pronghorn fans rivalries and abundance of talent in Deer was also a great experience. may have noticed a few new faces the league. He believes next season "Playing there helped me adapt more wearing a Lethbridge jersey and in will be even more intense due to the to the college and university style order to familiarize yourself with improvements of UBC and Brandon game." some of them, Meliorist Sports is and the likely resurgence of the But playing for the Pronghorns introducing a weekly player profile. Golden Bear. was always in Debb's mind. "I thing NISHIKI This week's focus is on 5'10", Coming to play in the this is a first class organization all 185 lb. Debb Carpenter who returns CanadaWest this season for the the way through," and although the PRO FLEX to Lethbridge after playing at Red Horns made a lot of sense for Debb, season ended on a sour note, there Deer College of the ACAC last who also played his minor hockey still were some highlights for Debb. season. in town. Having family and friends "Sweeping Manitoba here was a •+• Carpenter brought a great deal in the city made a great deal of definite highlight," he said. "The 95 BIKES IN STOCK! economic sense and returning to his fans were out, it was great. . . But of enthusiasm and intensity to the Visa/ Mastercard accepted team this year as one of the many roots was also a bonus. next season, we have something new players to lace up the skates for Carpenter played his bantam and more to prove to everyone due to YEAR ROUND CYCLE CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES how the season ended." the Horns. The penalty-killing midget years with the Lethbridge 1022-2 AVENUES. specialist, "Really likes the close Athletic Association and credits his "There were a lot of tangibles PHONE: 320 - BIKE LETHBRIDGE, ALBERTA emotional battles when I'm anxious midget coaches Ritchie Weist and we could have used, but nobody (2453) to get on the next shift to get the TIJ OC9 Trolls Rugby tourney n. C*Cvci4 STUDIO set to go this weekend

By Graham Taylor Sports Editor

The University of Lethbridge Trolls Rugby Club Ninth Annual Rugby Tournament is set to go this weekend on Saturday the 25th and Sunday the 26th. Organizers this year are hoping to draw both the crowds unfamiliar with the game as well as the regular fans who are used to an exciting brand of sport provided to them by the Trolls. The Trolls teams are composed of mostly students and alumni and this year enters strong teams in the tournament to battle some tough opposition. This year's tourney features, for the first time, a women's category as well as the men's division. Teams entered in the men's competition include Boseman, Montana State, the defending champion University of Calgary, LCC and the Trolls. The women's side has teams traveling from Boseman and the University of Saskatchewan besides the lady Horns. The round robin format kicks off Saturday at 9:00 AM until 6:00 PM with the finals and consolation finals set for Sunday. Anyone looking io get into the rugby spirit is invited to a cabaret on Saturday night to be held at the 4-H building. Women get In for free while men pay $3 in advance and gro.oo + #.s.*7. $4 at the door. Contact Phil, Trolls club president, at 381-6201, for more information.

The Meliorist is holding elections for all staff positions on Monday March 27 at 2:00 pm in SU council chambers 7/0 - ST^Z^^^M

The deadline for applications is Monday March 27 at noon

Drop by SU 166 or phone 329-2334 for more information 14 the Meliorist March 23,1995 Sports Tennis tip of the week: Open up for success

Many tennis players make Many players tend to be too By Mike Tan technical errors hitting the ball. closed in (see picture 1), which Sports Writer Either they don't get the ball over prevents them from having a full the net, hit it way out of the court, extension to make a smooth or just simply get mad. They follow-through. By opening up usually get frustrated, start your stance (picture 2), you allow throwing racquets around, or end more space to take a full, well- up quitting the game totally, controlled swing at the ball. thinking it is "dumb". The same concept also applies The main problem lies with to volleys. When you are too the mechanics of the player. They closed in (see picture 3), you are may not have enough of a follow restricted in your follow through through, or a full extension which which prevents you from having is essential to making a good a good angle. Being too closed in shot. It will take only a little will make sure that your opponent adjustment in their body doesn't even get the ball. An movement to change their shot open position will always allow making abilities around - OPEN a smooth follow through (picture You smackers (or wannabes) UP. 4). might say that it is easier to say than do the real thing. I am not guaranteeing that you will be a perfect shot-maker after reading this column. Perfecting your shot takes practice, determination and v* patience to achieved any success. %* After 10 years at this game, and hitting zillions of balls, I still miss shots that I know I shouldn't (so does Andre Agassi, only less often).

Remember, practice makes ST Spring Fling *> perfect. Hang in there, smackers!! Coming next week: The four keys to a good serve! Featuring: PEACE &OCS Time and Again with Maggie Keenan March 25, 1995 LCC Barn TIME: 7:00pm - 2:00am TICKET COST:

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24 HR MOVIK HOTLINK FOR DETAILED LUTINGS AND SHOWTIMKS Alberta-N WT Division CAM. 381-M1LL ^ J March 23, 1995 the Meliorist 15 Sports CIAU Basketball Tennis Anyone? The Third Annual Championships U of L Tennis Club Open Challenge (1995) Date: April 1 & 2 (Saturday and Sunday) held over weekend had in my life. My basketball career record by hitting for 687 points. By Graham Taylor has come to an end and there's no Brandon's Keith Vassell was Sports Editor better way to have ended it," Badger named Canada's best University said. Teammates Murray men's basketball player and Eric The Alberta Golden Bears took Cuningham and Scott Martell Hinrichsen of Victoria picked up their second CIAU basketball title finished with 16 and 15 points the CIAU rookie of the year. over the weekend as the hoops respectively. Vassell averaged 23.2 points per season came to and end in Halifax. It is possible there is a mini- game and led the league in field Six-foot-two Greg DeVries dynasty in the making as the Bears goal percentage at 74%. He led the Events: Mens singles and doubles lose only three players to graduation scored a game-high 22 points to Bobcats to the Great Plains Ladies singles and doubles lead Alberta over the Concordia next year. Conference title. Mixed Doubles Stingers 84-66. Maxime Bouchard Also in Halifax over the Hinrichsen was a member of led Concordia with 18 points. weekend, the CIAU awards were the 1994 national junior tream and Attractive prizes to be given away! Alberta came out of the gates handed out and a couple of familiar led CanadaWest in rebounding strong and took a 26-10 lead before names took home some hardware. while averaging 13.1 points per For more information or to pick up an entry form, drop by the Stingers tied the game at 29-29 Former Pronghorn coach Ken game. Ree. Services. with 3:37 to play in the half. Alberta Olynyk was named coach of the Joining Bohne on the first all- then went on an 11-2 run to open year, leading the Toronto Varsity Canadian team are Vassell, the second half on their way to Blues to the Ontario West DeVries, Clint Holtz of Brock, and victory. championship. Olynyk is now in Winnepeg's Norm Froemel. The It was an emotional game for his sixth year with Toronto. second team consists of Curtis Alberta guard Greg Badger as he Raymond native and former Robinson of PEI, Titus Channer of laced up the sneakers for the last Comet Richard Bohne was named McMaster, Emmerson Thomas of time as a Golden Bear. to the all-Canadian first team for Concordia, Brad Hann of "This is by far the most his record setting season with U of Laurentian and Alex Beason of £• phenomenal feeling I have ever C. Bohne set the CIAU scoring Ryerson.

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ICE HOCKEY 4 Thursday, March 16 'Odds i Vre Black Lightning - 8 vs. The Eagles - 6 BLACKJACK All Blacks- 12 You'll vs. Karachi Vice - 6

Lov VOLLEYBALL ROULETTE Monday, March 20 U.C.M.C. - 3 gm vs. B.C. Bullheads-Ogm All Sorts - 3 gm vs. Warriors - 1 gm Individual Team - 1 gm vs. DcubiesDcsperados-1 gm Eradicators - 3 gm vs. Monarchs - 2 gm Scars U. B.C.-3 gm vs. Team Glitch - 0 gm Floor Skins - 3 gm vs. Banshees - 2 gm BACCARAT T. F. C. O. - 3 gm vs. Mikasa Mutilators -0 gm Cleaners - 3 gm vs. Vipers - 1 gm ASINO System - 3 gm vs. Zoo Crew-Ogm ABS Pcrtte^ touch RED DOG Open Wed.- Sat. SLO-PF CH Noon- Midnight Monday March 13 Chiefs - J vs. Psycho Sluggers - 14 1251 - 3rd Ave. S. Big Bear,- 15 vs. Weetagos - 6 LETHBRIDGE SIC BO Tuesday, March 14 PH. 320-9841 B.F.C.B. Kings-6 vs. Pumpkinheads - 3 Werewolves of Leth. - 18 vs. The Replacements - 7

Wednesday, March 15 Coyolees - 3 vs. Monarchs - 0 MauatM'l herapy T.F.C.O.- 15 vs. Individual Team - 7 Thursday, March 16 Chiefs - 10 vs. Weetagos - 9 on campus X Psycho Sluggers - 12 vs. Big Bears - 5 by Igor Stern R.M.T. I SLO-PITCH Tuesday, March 14 For Students, Faculty The Big. Bad & Ugly- 18 vs. Chargers - 7

and Staff Thursday, March 16 Coverage is provided CFL'ers - 30 vs. South Winds - 8 by your BASKETBALL Insurance Health Plan Wednesday, March 15 The Zoo Crew - 78 vs. The Warriors - 57 For appointment: T.F.C.O. - 74 vs. Mo & Her Merry Men-52 No Stars - 71 vs. Individual Team - 70 Phone: The Red Dogs - 40 vs. Der Weisse llai-39 Student Health Centre Mighiy Mikan Off. - 76 vs. BallRals-58 at 329-2484, SU 020 INDOOR SOCCER Thursday, March 16 No Games Played Mprch 23, 1995 the Meliorist 17 Student Health Helping students stay healthy.EaX it or go hungry! Minerals They're also good fluid sources. ordered accordingly), or simply leave restaurant, you'II be better off filling By Kathy Roth, R.N., BN. Elements obtained from foods it. Trim all the visible fat, and request up on an extra bowl of plain rice than Health Centre Correspondent that combine in many ways to form Salads: that any gravy or sauces be served on eggrolls or other greasy appetizers. structures of the body (for example, Enjoy the veggies, but limit the the side so that you can use them "I know what I should eat. I just calcium in bones) and regulate body creamed cottage cheese, bacon bits, sparingly, if at all. Your goal istoeat Vegetables: don't do it." processes (for example, iron in red grated cheese, olives, and other high- meat as the accompaniment on the Request plain, unbuttered veggies I hear this said every day by blood cells transports oxygen). Other fat toppings. Be extra generous with meal, not as the focus. Your muscles with any special sauces (hollandaise, students, parents, business people important minerals are magnesium, chick-peas (garbanzo beans) and will perform better if you fuel them lemon butter) served on the side. and athletes. They struggle with phosphorus, sodium, potassium, and toasted croutons. with more carbohydrate-rich juggling work and workouts, family zinc. Minerals do not provide energy. potatoes, vegetables, breads, and Chinese Food: and friends, food and nutrition. They Salad Dressing: juices. Plain rice with stir-fry make time to exercise but don't Water Always request that the dressing combinations (such as chicken with always make time to eat right. An essential substance that makes be served on the side so you can Potatoes: veggies, beef with broccoli) are the This chapter will help you design up about 50 to 55% of your weight. control how much you use. You want Order extra to make this the best choices. You can request that your own good nutrition game plan. Water stabilizes body temperature, to fill up on carbohydrates, not oily mainstay of your dinner! Baked the food be cooked with very little Whether you're a fitness exerciser carries nutrients to and waste away dressings. potatoes are a great source of oil. or an Olympic athlete, you can (and from cells, and is needed for cells to carbohydrates, unless the chef loads you know that you should) give function. Water does not provide Seafood and Poultry: them up with butter or sour cream. Dessert: yourself optimal nutrition with energy. Request chicken or fish that's Request that these toppings be put Sherbet and fruit are the highest wholesome foods even if you're To help you determine whether baked, roasted, steamed, or broiled. on the side so that you can control carbohydrate choices. Fresh fruit is eating on the run. The trick is to grab you're getting the right balance of Because many chefs add a lot of how much you eat. Better yet, trade often available, even if it isn't listed the foods that both support your these nutrients, and U.S. Government butter when broiling foods such as those fat calories for more on the menu. If you can't resist a sports program and enhance your has established the Recommended fish, you might want to request that carbohydrates. Add moistness by dessert monstrosity, just be sure that health. Dietary Allowance (RDA), as a you entree be broiled dry—that is, mashing the potato with some milk you enjoy it after you eat plenty of To learn how to do this, keep standard for nutrient intake. The cooked without this extra fat. If the (special request). This may sound a carbohydrates. That is, don't have a reading! Knowing what is good for recommendations for vitamins and entree is sauteed, request that the bit messy, but it's a delicious, low- carbohydrate-poor dinner to save you doesn't necessarily mean that minerals meet orexceed the needs of chef sautee it with very little butter fat way to enjoy what might be an room for a high-fat dessert. you will choose what is good for nearly all people, including athletes. or oil and add no extra fat before otherwise dry potato. you, but at least you will know your In the following section you will serving. Water: options. learn how to eat a high-energy, Pasta: Request a pitcher for the table so healthful combination of foods that Beef: Pile it on! Pick pasta served with you can have endless refills without The Six Nutrients of provides the RDA of important Most restaurants pride tomato sauces (carbohydrates) rather being a pest. nutrients and promotes your health themselves on serving huge slabs of than the high-fat cheese, oil, or cream Health and fitness. beef or one-pound steaks. If you sauces. From Clarke, N. (1990). Sports Food is more than just bulk that order beef, plan to cut this double Nutrition Guidebook Eating to Fuel stops your hunger; it is a fuel Low-fat and Healthful portion in half and either take the Rice: Your Active Lifestyle. Champaign, composed of important nutrients rest home for tomorrow's dinner, Another good source of IL: Leisure Press. essential for maintaining optimal Choices share it with a companion (who has carbohydrates. In a Chinese health and top performance. There Keep the following foods in mind as are six types of nutrients: you peruse a menu:

Carbohydrate Appetizers.: A source of calories that fuels Tomato juice, fruit juice, fruit STORE YOUR GOODS FOR AS LITTLE your muscles and brain. cocktail, melon, and crackers. Carbohydrates are the primary AS $22.50 PER MONTH energy source when you're Breads: exercising hard. You should get 60% Unbuttered rolls and breads are of your calories from the starches great—ask for extras! If the standard ALL STUDENTS RECIEVE A 10% DISCOUNT and sugars found in carbohydrate- fare is buttered (as in garlic bread) rich foods such as fruits, vegetables, request some plain bread also, and YOU CAN RESERVE YOUR BAY. BOOK NOW, breads, and grains. enjoy the buttery bread in moderation. BAYS ARE GOING FAST Fats A source of stored energy Soups: (calories) that we burn primarily Broth-based soups (such as during low-level activity, such as vegetable, chicken and rice, and CALL 329-1666 reading and sleeping. Animal fats Chinese soups and hearty (for example, butter, lard, fat in minestrone, split pea, navy bean, meats) tend to be saturated and to and lentil soups) can be good sources contribute to heart disease and some of carbohydrates and are preferable LETHBRIDGE MINI STORAGE cancers; vegetable fats (for example, to creamy chowders and bisques. corn oil, olive oil, peanut oil) are 1415 33 STREET NORTH, LETHBRIDGE, AB. generally unsaturated and less harmful. You should limit your fat intake to about 25% of your daily total calories. WESTSIDE VISION CENTRE Protein NOW OPEN Essential for building and repairing muscles, red blood cells, hair, and other tissues, and for synthesizing hormones. Protein is digested into amino acids, which are Complete Eye Exams rebuilt into the protein in muscle and other tissues. Protein is a source of 'Contact Lenses calories and can be used for energy if inadequate carbohydrates are Large Selection of Frames available such as during a strict diet or exhausting exercise. About 15% 'Latest Technology in of your calories should come from protein-rich foods such as fish, Computerized Eye Care chicken, and dried beans. 'Frame Repairs Vitamins Metabolic catalysts that regulate the chemical reactions within ihe Dr. Jeff Nielson Dr. Barton Anderson body. They include vitamins A, B Optometrists complex, C, D, E, and K. Most THE vitamins are chemical substances lhat the body does not manufacture, so MULTI-CULTURAL you must obtain them through your FOOD STORE 380-3453 diet. They are not a source of energy (calories). 642-13 Street North • 320-8867 122 Columbia Blvd (Right next to Super Sam) Monday-Saturday lua.m - 8p.m., Sunday

School of Fine Arts 'resents: "William Shakespeare s Taming of the Shrew"— March 21 - 25 in the I niversity Theatre at 8:(X)pm. Ad is $9.50, Students/Seniors Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday $6.50. For more inform lion call: 329-2616 or 381-WEST 26 27 28 29 30 31 April Sunday Nature Walk: "Wartime Tuesday At Noon: "Blue Wednesday At Noon: Friday Night Films: Housing"—An insightful presenta­ Snake" -Southern Alberla "Truth Is A Pathless "Stand By Me"—This 1 tion is in store when museum volun­ Art Gallery. Admission Land"- Presented by adventure follows four teer Dave McCaig explores ihe free! Bring your lunch. the UofL Art Club. All Iwelve-yearold boys as Ihey various facets of wartime housing in Coffee and juice are on us. lectures/discussions will trek into the Oregon Lelhhridge. 2pm, Helen Schuler be held in B730 from Wilderness in search of a h'lhhridgc College Fam­ Coulee Centre. I 2 : 0 0 - 1 : 0 0 p m . missing body. Showtime is ily Studies Program: Professor Hillary 7:30pm in the Theatre Gal­ "S.O.S.! Help For Sundays At Two: "Owl Prowl"— Rodrigues speaking. lery in the Lethbridge Puh- Parents"-7:00-10:00pm. Discover all aboul ihe Great horned Everyone welcome. lic Library. Admission free. $!8.19/pcrson. Gilbert Owls at Ihe Alexander Gall Mu­ Pa te rson Se hi x >1. To reg i s ler clip wjeekly newspaper please seum If you are willing to articles from your local call 382-6976. call the CRHA Health Connection Line at 381-lirlFO or 1-800-595-CRHA. 8 Sunday Nature Walk: "Crows. Magpies and Ravens"—Take a hxik at magpie nests, watch our resident ravens and discover these clever creatures. 2pm.HelenSchulerCou- lee Centre.

Sundays At Two: "Owl Prowl"— Discover all aboul the Great horned Owls at the Alexander Gall Mu­ seum The Catholic Student Association (CSA) meets every second Sunday at St. Martha's (farish, Columbia Blvd. 430 -6:30pm.

EDITH CAVELL CARE CENTRE: with program preparations, ground maintenance and host/ pressure clinics and to become a member of the assiK'iation requires volunteers to ehlp out in these areas: manicurist, hostess. Details: Larraine Page at 329-0444. to assist with fundraising. Details: Elaine Steinke at 327- escorts, leisure buddy, entertainers and community outings. 3635. Details:Mariane Teierle at 328-6631. GALBRAITH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL: GIRL GUIDES OF CANADA: seeks volunteers to assist wiih Ihe following: hoi dog sales, requires volunteers to help as Leaders/Assistants to work EXTENDICARE/LETHBRIDGE RESIDENT CLUB: assist children with computers, lunch time supervisors/help­ with girls from age 5 to 18. Call Florrie Gillettat 328-0733. seeks volunleers in the following areas: mending clothes, ers and library helper. Details: Gertrude Lizee at 327-3653. cleaning wheelchairs, trail assistant. What's C(X)king program, The Community Volunteer Centre is a entertainers, sing-along leaders. Ladies Auxiliary Committee, GILBERT PATERSON COMMUNITY SCHOOL: central location for information on avail­ visiting, kiddie hour. Adopt a Grandparent program, exercise needs volunteer Grandparents to help out at school with able volunteer opportunities. The CVC program, pet therapy, appointment companion. Volunteers reading on a one to one basis with the students. Details: has detailed information on more than are needed to become a member of the association to assist Carol Ramsey at 327-9955. with fundraisers. Details: Lori Noble al 328-6664. 150+ volunteer assignments. Please feel LEISURE/HUMAN DEVELOPMENT DEFT.: free to drop into the office at the Bill FLEXIBILITY PLUS: seeks volunteers lo act as Tour Guides for the Sir Alexander Kergan Centre, 207 -13 Street North, 9 to volunteers are needed lo work one on one or in small groups Gait Museum. Details: Lori Jarokosky at 320-3898. 11:30am, and 1 to 4pm or call us at 320- with new Canadians who ar learning English. Details: Elma 2044. If you are interested in any of the Guintoal 320-8885. KIDNEY FOUNDATIONS - LETHBRIDGE volunteer opportunities listed here, you CHAPTER: may call the number given for more in­ FORT WHOOP-UP INTERPRETIVE CENTRE: is looking for volunteers to help out with coin box collecting. formation. is looking lor volunteers lo help with chopping woixl. assist Board of Directors, birthday doughnut delivery, bkxxl

'"::• •••••:•;••: &•:&. :W*W >':»:S •¥:¥:'* *":« %•!•{? ¥:¥ yXW WK'K ww. -x-wi: m>y< v-v-vi Kt:-y/, wm wm y-mt *KS«g SPRING 1995 FITNESS SCHEDULE

ITIME/PLACE MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY **#^ •12:05-12:50 pm Aqua Fil Aqua Fit - Deep Aqua Fit Aqua Fit - Deep MPj5 '(Max Bell Pool) (Rochelle) (Kim) (Kathy) (Rochelle) I 12:15- 1:05 pm 12:15- 1:05 pm I UPCOMING RECREATION 1 • 12:05 - 12:50 pm T. B. C* Low Impact Fit Combo Fit Cireuil Slep* Pump & Jump | SERVICES EVENTS I (Ft 100) (Marquise) (Kalhy) (Jennifer) (Cindy) (Judy) I I •4:00 - 4:55 pm Cireuil Slep* Low Impact Fit ;(PL 100) (Judy) (Lori B.) i EVENT DATE IIMK LOCATION FEE INSTRUCTOR i Power Step" Combo ABT Sat, April I 10:00 am (start) l.CC / $IH.(H) nol applicable 15:00-5:55 pm T. B. C* Power Step* 15/10/10 Road Race* l(VE 1(H)) (Judy) (Lori B.) Fort Whoop-Up (Jennifer) (Kathy)

| Dare To Tri - Triathlon* Sal, April X 2:00 pm (start) Max hell I\H>1 $I5.(K) nol applicable

•entry forms available from ree services RlrtilSThR EARLY - -ONLY &Z SPOTS LEFT) NOTE: TURN IN VALIDATED I.D. CARD AT EQUIPMENT ROOM FOR WRISTBAND OR BENCH CARD. I * BENCHES MUST BE RESERVED PRIOR TO EACH STEP CLASS. § TO REGISTER OR FOR MORE INFO CONTACT: 329-2706! i i

IMSJIJ <•:»:•:•: <>••:•:•:•: MMN ::<,;•:•:• •:.,;• mHg <•:,.:•;.* gStS| asm mex MM* w* mm mm mm tmm mm wmm mm w mm mm MM* MaVoh23, 1995'the Meli-brist • 19 Careers on available volunteer opportunities. STUDY IN JAPAN! Chinook Country Tourist The CVC has detailed information Association, Tourist Counsellor on more than 170 volunteer !2SfL Japanese Government (Mar 31) assignments. Drop by their office at []Jnnhusho) Scholarship for City of Calgary - Program Leaders/ ihe Bill Kergan Centre, 207 - 13 (jjulfr graduate Studies at Instructors (Mar 31) Street North, 8:30AM to 4:00PM and Ijnivtnsities in Japan. Check these out ! There are Thursday from 8:30AM to 7:00PM opportunities for students in theatre/ Ihe Consulate General of Japan drama, visual arts, multicultural as You can also become aware of offers this program to assist students well as sport camps. volunteer positions by talking with who want to study in Japan. Town of Strathmore, Parks people or contacting organizations Completed application forms must positions (Mar 31) directly. The following are a sample lie received no later than June 30, Vulcan & District Recreation Bd., of volunteer positions available: 1995 and examinations in academic So AB Summer Games subjects are scheduled to be Coordinator Apr 7) Southern Alberta Epilepsv CAREER * conducted at 9:30AM on July 5, 1995 Association, Public for all applicants. Resort/Hotel Education Coordinator (Mar Interested in working in a mountain 24) resort? The following organizations * CONNECTION • ARE YOU READY South Country Community have positions in the Hospitality Association, Environmental FOR THE FUTURE? Industry. Education Here are some tips on how to University of Lethbridge. Summer Castle Mountain Village, Banff keep up with the challenges of the Sports Coordinator (April 5) Aspen Village Inn & Kilmorey future: Lodge, Waterton Parks • Increase your communication Moraine Lake Lodge, Banff skills WORKSHOPS • Learn to use a computer if you Swimming Pools - the following Interview Techniques don't already know how communities have a number of • Keep up with the developments • Tuesday, Mar 28 12:15-1 :30PM positions such as manager, (TH 101) or 4:30-5:45 TH 101 in your chosen field operator, guards and cashiers: • Broaden your horizon. Develop • Wednesday, Mar 29 12:00 - a wide range of interests beyond 12:50PM (TH 101) or 4:00-4:50PM • Town of Milk River; Town of (TH 133) your own occupation. Strathmore(Mar 31); Carbon & Please sign up in CES (SU 141). • Become a problem-solver - District; Burstall, SK; District of someone who sees a job that needs Houston, BC The TRAVEL to be done and applies personal JOBS JOBS skills to get it done. Summer Camps • Be the kind of person employers JOBS Giri Guides of Canada, Camp need: adaptable, flexible, Spring has sprung. . .the grass Okeekum, Ft. Macleod - Caretaker COMPANY Ltd. motivated, friendly, responsible, has riz... I wonder where my summer (Apr I) and a team player. job is? Well, its certainly not in poetry Sagitawa Christian Camps, - however, it is time to get beyond Moberly Lake, BC (deadlines vary) 320-8747 the wondering and into the active Leader, Secretary, Lifeguard, First THINKING ABOUT searching for that summer job. Aid Attendant/Nurse, Counsellors YOUR ONLY CHOICE STARTING YOUR Pembina Valley Bible Camp, CES continues to receive new Darlingford, Manitoba (Deadlines TO THE ORIENT OWN BUSINESS!! postings daily and you must watch vary) the job boards regularly for positions First aid attendant/nurse; CES has received the 1995 that might interest you. Follow counsellors; Outdoor ed/naturalist; information on the Alberta through on the application process Program Director; Horsemanship \ Opportunity Company (AOC) as stated in the posting. The personnel Student Business Loan Program. If following are only SOME of the Canyon Church Camp, Waterton you have a good idea for a business active positions available: Youth Director, Counsellors, X \ during Ihe summer break, the AOC Counsellors-in-training (Mar 31) Si- + can help you get started. AB. Treasury Branches, Total ^, Service Representative (Mar 24) Several Painting Companies have ^ • To be eligible you must be a Royal Tyrrell Museum positions on their summer crews °«f full-time post-secondary or Cooperating Society. Education and for painters and marketing university student over 18 years Public Program Interpreters (Apr 7) assistants- check the Boards or I 504 -- 5t5thl Avenue South, Lethbridge, AB of age. AB. Centre for Well-Being, binder for information. T1J4K4 • Under the AOC .Student Loan Summer Staff (Mar 31) Program the maximum loan is $3,500 per project. • It is recommended that your application be completed early (by ihe end of March) to avoid means business! the rush at the end of April. students right now for Fall '95. APPLY NOW for CONSIDER MANAGEMENT admission to the B.Mgt. Second Degree Program. VOLUNTEER AS A SECOND DEGREE The earlier you apply, the sooner you will hear from EXPERIENCE us. "/ can't get a job because .' have If you are graduating with either B.A., B.Sc, COOP PROGRAM (Earn While you Learn) 'to experience, but how can I get B.A.Sc, B.Ed., B.F.A. or any undergraduate degree Co-operative education is a degree program '•'xperience if I can't get a job'.'" (other than a B.Comm. or its equivalent) you should know that you can earn a Management degree with combining academic study with semesters of paid I his is a common problem identified a minimum of 15 and a maximum of 20 additional employment. Regular co-op employers include IBM, ^>y students who are looking for courses. Amoco Canada, Imperial Oil, Nova Corp, Shell employment. Volunteering is one Canada, Peat Marwick KPMG, Young, McNab and ivay to gain skills and abilities. SECOND DEGREE COURSE Alberta Treasury Branches. REQUIREMENTS: t few of the benefits: 1) A/S and 2000 level Management courses MANAGEMENT ALUMNI ' gain experience, add abilities, required for the chosen major A recent poll indicates that 95% of our graduates uiowledge and achievements 2) Core Management courses are either employed in jobs that are related to their develop self confidence and test 3) 3000/4000 Management courses required for academic program, or are in graduate school. )cw skills the chosen major helping others APPLY NOW! lull ill personal needs Come and see us about specific information The University of Lethbridge references, letters of regarding majors and programs which may interest Faculty of Management ^commendation you. We offer 14 different majors including five 4401 University Drive Vhere to volunteer? areas in Arts and Science. We are admitting Lethbridge, AB, T1K 3M4 Phone: (403) 329-2153 Fax: (403) 329-2253 he Community Volunteer Centre 5 a central location for information 'Netiquette 1D1 »»n«MS as some of you may know I'm l66VinQ academia to start my own software company andi before log onto that great big virtual world

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& YOUR ALBERTA CHRYSLER DEALERS. ft CHRYSLER DEALERS YOU CAN BELIEVE IN. CHRYSLER Dodge " On Chrysler Credit uppioved financed purchases on 48-month temis on selected offers Some restrictions apply. Offer applies to retail purchases for personal use only of 1994, 1995 and 1996 models excluding Dodge Viper. If you finance Ql regula r VlymoutH rates for 48 months you may choose to defei youi fust monthly payment foi 90 days. You will opply the uinount financed and interest foi the 48 month term ovei 45 months (45 equal payments with a 3 month-delay to first installment). Chrysle i Jeep Credit Canada ltd. approval required. Other Chrysler special leduced finance rate programs cannot be combined with this deferral offer. Purchase and take delivery of any eligible vehicle no later thun December 31, 1995, from a participating dealer Sei Jeep 1 Eagle dealei foi details. Offer available until December 31, 1995 3 month deferral of payment offei not uvuiluble in the Province of Quebec.