\ Serving No One Since Its Conception in the Back Seat of a 1973

$\ Serving No One Since Its Conception in the Back Seat of a 1973$

\ Serving no one since its conception in the back high will be found up seat of a 1973 Pinto. i-iilisborough Street except cold Techinileak draft near the vicinity Mitch's tavern (Papas! by student ,. 'rorologis alter l Sauderﬁ, late Petterssen and ' Helms). Volume LXI, Number 76 Friday, March 34, 1981 Raw-ley, North Carolina Phone: 137-2411 (don't call us)

Another Student missing by Clark last ing tickets and escort girls back to couldn't smell the muenster anymore. and lay Baldy-Davis Carroll Dorm. You know. we've even although somebody did cut the had calls from students who say that cheese." Staff Writers the wolf burgers and Cutting—Board "To be honest.” Order said. “I think Public Safety is baffled by another luncheon meats have been tasting bet- Barr's goose is cooked." disappearance of a State student in ter over the past month. That's nice Barr. a sophomore. was very what has been termed the but it's nothing to be suspicious about. popular and had participated in “ConveyocBelt Killings." “However. this conveyor-belt stuff Thompson Theatre's fall 1980 produc- Clark Barr. 18. a food-science major. is different. It's fascinating! It’s . tion of Hamlet. is listed as missing and is presumed something I can sink my teeth into." "Boy and how." John Houseman. dead after having been missing for 72 Dinty Moore. Barr's roommate. Thompson Theatre director. said. "He hours. related the incidents leading up to was marvelous because he was really Barr’s disappearance raises the Barr’s disappearance. able to spice up a meaty roll. 1 saw him number of vanished State students to “We had just finished eating at the go from a raw actor to a seasoned per- Staff photo by Eat Me 14 in the past 4 weeks and is promp- Cutting Board and Clark had been former. You could see him cooking Clark Barr, a ting concern over the well-being of eating muenster cheese — he was onstage. relishing his part. I'll tell you. State student. has been missing for 12 hours and is presumed dead. Public Safety believes Dan's disap- patrons in Food Services' areas. really rank. I put my tray on the con- this whole business leaves a bad taste pearance may be connected to a series of murders known as the "Conveyor-lei! Killings." Public Safety Sgt. Lorne Order said veyor belt and walked away. Clark in my mouth." parents wouldn't let us marry. He was When approached about the dissp conveyor-belt system on campus. that the alleged murders are a was behind me. Barr's girlfriend. Lorna Doone. said the apple of my eye and a real sweet pesrance._ Michael Crab. assistant Everytime we get a suspect he's sub re break. “Then I heard a gurgling sound. she will miss him. pea. What a peachy guy." she sobbed. Food Services director. clammed up mitted to an intense grilling by us and “I‘ll tell you. it's exciting. I mean all scratching and finally the hideous. “I'm really gonna miss him." she and refused to condiment. then Witt roasts him over the cole I've done before this was write park- errr of.. conveyor belt. A l_ said. “He was a tender lover but he did “Everybody thought he was a fruit slaw. I don't know what else to do. have a sweet-andsour disposition. He because he was stocked with brains. In a rare meeting. Art Witt. assis But that's a lot of baloney and it takes tant to the vice chancellor for Food short of calling the Raleigh Police Reagan orders hada thin skin and a salty tongue. guts to stand up to that." Moore said. ‘ Services. said. Department - and I don't want to "But he was all heart even if he did “We have a lot at stake play second banana to those prune give me some lip at times. And he was “And brave? He never chickened here. All Public Safety is doing is faces. a great cook. Cod. I'll miss his buns! out of anything. He had faith in chewing the fat. It makes me want to “This whole thing is just a bunch of statue tumed himself and felt the world was his throw up." sour grapes. Sure. I hope we catch this “I'll never forget those times we oyster — he felt the world owed him a Order said. “We're doing all we can. guy. But if we don't. well —— that’s the by Der Sekattcl had. We made a swell pair but our lot of dough." We've set up stakeouts at every way the egg rolls." Staff Writer President Ronald Reagan issued an order yesterday to turn the Statue of Liberty 180 degrees as a symbolic Part of Techinileak’s front page stolen today gesture of the United States‘ new stance toward wetbscks. boat people by lea-regard Sweet pcd off part of our 'front page and the apparently alleged paper boxes The theft is expected to renew calls and other forms of low life. we're going to fry him. but good." and seems to have taken part of the for dc-pager regulation. S.M. Calaber Due to worsening economic condi- Staff Writer front page off the alleged paper. This of the National De-pager Association tions in the country. Reagan decided Parts of the Techiniiealr front page Subbcad an has not been confirmed as of this ap- said. “it is the right of every that the United States had accepted were stolen today by an unidentified parent time." American to have a de-pager. One enough nfugees. “The United States student named Grog Dowley. Why When asked why he tore part of the The de-pager was a cheap version must protect his home from the com- has received millions of KIKES. Dowley ripped off part of the front page Dowley looked out a window and bought by Dowley in Dallas. Texas. mics." HERBS. SPICS and CHINKS for the page is still under investigation but said. “Because it was there." When The device did not work correctly Officers found Dowley in his room past 200 years. Let the russkies take consensus around the Techiniiealr of- asked about a possible gambling con- because of its inferior nature. The dc- and wrestled him to the floor. “Can't 'em now." said Reagan. fice is that the theft had something to nection Dowley said. “Five dollars pager was a socalled “Friday-Morning be too careful with an alleged someone The Moral Majority hailed it as a do with the elections. The accuracy of says you can't prove I have ever plac- Special." The de—pager should have packin' an apparent de-pager." said long-awaited victory. The Rev. Jerry this opinion is in doubt since the elec- ed a bet on any thing." taken the entire page. Time. Falwell called it a “miraculous change tions are over. Pubic Safety reported that an Dowley is being held in protective of policy." The Techinileah filled a complaint anonymous caller squealed when she Sabbead Twa custody at the chancellor's residence. "White is right. We don't need no photo . Der Schenen ofextreme nastiness with the Associa- saw Dowley place a device over one of It was reported that a lynch mob had more raghcsds in America.” said Presidentlonaid liesganhasordered tion of the Society of the Prevention of the Techininleah boxes. Pubic Safety Time said that there is no way that formed at the Student Center in Falwell. that the Statue of Liberty turn her Cruelty to Student Publications officer Mark Time USMC. said. “The that part of the page can be salvaged. Suites 24-36-24. The Satin Sheet Inn. Since Liberty was turned around (ASPCSP). Techim'ieah Editor-and- alleged suspect of the apparent theft “All that is left'is a pile of slimy ink." There were no further details on this last night. three boats of Haitian back on the scumbags immigrants of Chicf Psycho Analogy said. "He rip- placed an alleged Bombco depager on he said. at press time. refugees have been refused entry. Oneofthebostp'arsoaswassurprla- _. edatthenswpollcy.“lspeskyno Researchers announce Eeuglish but I weesh to be like you Yankee. My seestcr leev in Miami for teenyear.fbcpoorand uglyinfacc new invisibility but i want Cadillac and TV and credit formula card like you Yankee.” by Susie Ate-s on members of State's administration. Resisting efforts to sail away. 386 Chancellor Joab Thomas. food- best people were shot by the Coast Staff Writer services director Art White and Willis Guard. “It was self-defense” said Lt. Chemistry-department researchers Casey are all reported to have been in- LR. “Pooper” Cooper. “Surely an all- announced today that they have volved in the testing. whitc jury will agree." developed a new invisibility formula. When this reporter asked to see Reagan's new policy will give an im- The formula has been tested for the Casey his secretary rushed into mediate boost to the economy. With past year on key members of State's Casey's office-”There was some com- fewer non-skilled immigrants. administration. motion from inside the office and the employers will r'esort to child labor — State chemistry professor P.H. Buf- secretary reappeared. saying that American children to work at the fer has been credited with the formula Casey “could not be seen at this time." menial jobs. At least the money will but the Techinileah has learned that Thomas and White were both stay in American pockets. former State chemistry professor C. unavailable for an interview or The new plaque at Liberty's base Gloat was instrumental in the original photograph. will read: research. A high-placed source inside When asked about the uses of such a Give meyouroil. the chemistry department - an formula Buffer said that the military Yourminerals, undergraduate lab TA - reports that had expressed some interest. Yoursilverondgoid Gloat was excused from the chemistry “Well. what they can do is use it on Justkeepyourass department for using the formula on a tank or an airplane and the bad guys 017;:American soil. himself and hiding in female can't see it. Then the good guys. us. bathrooms and locker rooms. can sneak around and blast the bad “They (the chemisty department) guys into a bloody pulp so peace and had a kangaroo court and bumped him good will can reign." Buffer said in a (Gloat). When they ripped Gloat‘s balanced way. name off'his door. he knew he was out." the source said. The Techinileah contacted the Pen- SHIT Buffer said he was the sole resear- tagon and was put in touch .with the cher. Assistant Vice Rear Secretary of “I did it all myself. I'm going to get Publicity for Research and Non-Nice the profits for it. I'm going to get the Weapon Development. Lt. Y.E.S. Sir. Nobel for it. It was me. me. me! Naaa." “This development should optimize Buffer said. our kill-to-Ioss ratios and grind those The formula is in the form of a paste 'hl!‘ ruskies into the ground till they that can be spread over a substance. glow!!! Sorry.‘l get carried away and causing it to become invisible. Buffer uh. wait. this project is Top Secret and said. When asked how the paste work- uh. is it too late to say ‘off the ed Buffer answered acidly: “Oh no. i'm record? " not telling you. This is all mine and I'm A high—placed pentagon source — keeping it a secret. So there." the sucker above —~ has commented It appears that the formula has that the development of the invisibili- heal finished for about a year. The in- ty paste is the key to the development lthl long-term testing was conducted of the new Stealth Bomber.

Me ossifer? ' Two Techinileak / Latest Blues / March 34, 1981

Coach Koffin rips off store Kl?" 1. Everyone started scream- vices Director Art White. by Der Schene- ing. He fired a few shots and White pleaded for the of- Staff Writer several students fell to the ficers to meet the robber's floor. That shut everyone demands. The Students' . Supply up. Coach Koffin demanded a Store was robbed of $35.63 "He demanded all the $15 athletic-fee increase. a today by a man wearing a cash but since we had cashed parachute. a helicopter and red mask and carrying a gun so many students' checks to a wolf burger to go. The cops carved into a bar of soap. day, we had little cash on gave him everything except The robber. later identified hand. He took all the cash the fee increase. They could as football coach Monte Kof- and all the checks. About only give him a 312 increase. fin. came in blasting and” that time. two Public Safety Pleased with the ransom. demanding the cashiers to cops arrived. The robber Koffin fled out of the store. fill up a football helmet with grabbed a hostage. I then down Cates Avenue. to the cash. felt a fart coming on so I slip Doak Field where he com- Clerk Ash Ole said it was pod over to the stationery mandeered the waiting a normal Friday afternoon department. I don't helicopter. The copter was when the commotion remember anything else." last seen flying south of started. Apex. “I was busy ripping off a According to P80 A few bewildered student‘ in the usedbook reports. the hostage was students were heard to ask. buy-back station when this Assistant to the Vice "Who was that masked masked man rushes in. Chancellor for Food Ser- man?"

Sore butts breed need for New dorms ‘built relief among administration by Der Schatten By 1.3. Bad Jr. ing sitting impossible for Dr. Seymore Heiney. The towers are built on many people. noted Raleigh proctologist Jock the former site of Mann Staff Writer "This school is the pro- and Chancellor Joab . Frank Wheezon presid- and Riddick engineering Scheduled date for com- duct of a movement by con- ‘ Thomas' spiritual adviser. is ed over yesterday's buildings. “Since athletes officials around the the man many feel will fill for will earn a milion bucks a pletion of the new School of cerned dedication ceremony year as pros and Proctology at State has been area who themselves have the gap as the new dean of two new athletic dorms only make set for July 3. 1994. accor- been plagued with posterior the school. located on north campus. engineers ding to Dr. Hemm B. Rhoid. complications." Rhoid said. "I hope they don't crack Called an architectural about 20 or 30 thou, we to an under a financial strain the long-awaited felt we should cut back on spokesman for the National According wonder, the insignificant cur— Association of Practicing anonymous official at State. because I‘ve had a growing dorms were built to pro riculums." Proctologists. the proposed building site itch to wipe out anal pro vide new housing for the “We (the NAPP) feel will be behind Holladsy Hall blems before everyone ends 8.000 returning players deeply concerned over the so members of the ad— up suffering. and new recruits. The towers will be lack of anal care in North ministration can receive "x: v. Wheezon proclaimed named for the two most relief at their convenience. “You know some fools the towers monuments. famous men in NCSU Carolina. Such a school have criticized us for making would help soothe the pro- “We‘ve had trouble with such an asinine proposal but built to show other lore. Women will be hous- blem." Rhoid said. assholes over here recently For real? schools our desire to ed in the Slim Whitman said over the years so we feel the close proximi- this school is important. become the No. 1 sports Tower and men will be Rhoid Hell. when they laugh. we This typical Chapel HIII student ls shown here In hls natural habitat. Weall . problems associated with ty of the building will help just turn the other cheek." power hi" the western housed in the Will 8' poor anal care have swollen these men sit' the problem Heiney said. know people from that 'other school' have reputations as real dlp-shlts hemisp ere. Spacey Tower. to painful highs. thus mak- straight." the source said. but most don't go to such an extreme to advertlse It.

‘1’" “DUCK “WEE? if -' CENsonEo ' ”WWW" A :. cinievnmi..uru..:...... ,,.,,i . _ .. ‘. invoiviur.HIS ”‘BITSwii'in wiry“ .,Wor|d’s greatest sexual turn-on Firxiau: Bin. 1 'Tis TH: Rassirs TIME or THE aL YEAR found after penetrating research ALLOTTED by I. M. Long laundering industry since finance further deep and in this area and is expected To CARToom'srs Voice Holiday Inn signed with Na- penetrating research into to come to a head soon. ac- so mar may Disembodied tional Linen Service." quip- this exciting and sensitive cording to lab researcher E. Dr. Iva Bigun of the State ped Dr. Bigun. area." Bigun stated. Jack Eulate. ' CAN GET ALL department of sex and Due to the extreme dif- He reports the basic in- Hopefully. funds for the Tm's GARoi’cr 7777!!!! . . . wuo MADE iris p_. I!.-.. I recreation reports he has ficulty involved in obtaining gredient is secreted only by erection of a new research 0”“ Iii/AS come upon what he termed the primary compound for North American Eskimo facility can be rammed OUT or Tim‘R A MAN. NAMED NEIGHBORS CENS- RD the world's greatest sexual ORGum. as the product is females during the first 4.2 through before this session SYSTEMS! I‘I‘GiLL . .. EXCEEDINGLY Iii... turn-on. called. price is still goes: secondsdischveredof antitrust",-(by Dr . n of the legislation recesses. ”This could be the tionable at this point. greatest boon to the sheet- “It will be high enough to‘ while—he maturing in a Sixty-nine variations of missionary position with the the formula were tried on crassifieds Since merchant seamen in the TYPING Fast, accurate servrce Call WANTED — Raspoinible student to fill super- CATAMARANS Poodle. 15', lb“ 10‘. Phan STUDY GETAWAY « Study or unwrrid by a FOR SALE Girls 10w Ross bilie. excellent Eskimos in Greenland. Classifieds cost 10¢ per word with a or 072 2167 Visory position Must be able to work flexible toms. Day Sailors. Land Sailors, Wind Surfers. quiet fireside in your own cdttage. No inter- condition, ral 0330M after 6 p.m. Great for these women are able to North Atlantic before a minimum charge of $1.50 per insertion. Mail 821-1749 hours. For more information contacl Linda Hang Gliders, Zodiac Inllaiibles, Pedal Boats. ruptions except ihose you want. Uss w.c.u. riding to school. reach orgasm only during foolproof formula was check and ad 10 Technician Dale, University Food Sermons, Rm. 4124 Stu- Turner SailCraIi, Henderson. NC. lnear Kerr library for reference. $3010r 2 people, 335 for the biannual migration of achieved. Dr. Bigun believes Classifieds, Box 5690, Raleigh, PREMIUM DUAIITY T SHIRTS custom demgn dent Center. IEnter through4114, 4th floor on Lakd Day 430-7093 Night 4385555. 4, nllely. Mountain Brook. US. 441 Sniiih, STUDENTS: The News and Observerle the blue-bellied sperm his formula will be on the NC 27650 Deadline is 5 p.m. on day of ed for your group, organization or event Also posrta Student Government Officel Mon. Fri. Sylva. NC. 704-506-4329. Raleigh Times has an excellent part-time op will be market in approximately publication for the previous ISSUE. Liability for canvas bags, night shins, rackets, and other 0 a m 2 p.m. SPANISH ENGLISH ~ English teacher ponunity for selling newspaper siihscnptions whale. supplies mistakes in ad limited to refund or reprinting specialty items Koala Tees S294630, needs conversational Spanish help will in RECORD CONVENTION NO. 4. 20 Dealers sell door-todoor from 414501111 p.m. Monday limited at first. nine months. and must he reported to our offices within 029 5435 PART TIME WORK at night cleaning buddings struct in English ~ Call Andy 767 2719 inq albums and 45's. Sunday, March 29. D6. rim with occasionl Saturday work. Salary The chemical. trivulvic- two days after first publication of ad Starting pay $3.35 per hr. lMon.Fri.1. Cal 50 com admission. Big Barn Convention pluscommissionsndcsrsmansal‘oryour diphalic acid. can Supplies will be limited at NO ERILLS FLIGHTS Europe, Israel, Asra, 832 5581 HAS RONALD REAGAN'S BUDGET CUT HURT Center. Daniel Boone Antique Village, persorul imanrisw, at Sarah Kely at , theoretically be synthesized first due toexpected high in- STATISTICAL COMPUTING SERVICE' Don't Mideast Global Travel, 521 Fifth Avenue, NY, YOU? If you're hard working, have the summ‘ Hillshurough. For more information, call 6211234, ext 339, from 0.111 ant-4:30pm., of pregnant itial demand but bigger and let programming slow your these. Education, NY , l0017 2l2 379 353? mar free, and would like to earn $3,290 CALL Durham 68276800. Mondsyfridsy. EOE. from the urine socral sciences. Four years’ experience. DAN BLAISDELL the MARATHON BAND 021-0231 for an interview. polecats. Extensive better supplies are coming 967 9521 anytime WANTED Non smoking males as subiects in Music for every occsnpn from keg panics to MAN WITH VAN for lie. SW8 moved EXPERTnnsr.viiido anid. lair sir-c. research is being carried on soon. so don't despair. ‘ FOR SALE 1979 Plymouth Horizon, 4

”NI-Cm” RECEPTION -i. C' H a.m..... FOLLOWING PERFORMANCE ' Pigments. March 34, 1981 Techiniieak / Three

ProctolOgy club Rev. Faltwell — not a fallen angel by R.U. Kidding “I want to flush the scum place in his heart for those “We haven't had a good heals hemorrhoids, Features Writer out of this fine country's who have ”fallen" under the war in years. I want to go system. You know. give it influence of hard drugs. overseas 'and kick some A lone figure stood upon something like an enema," "Hardvdrug users be Commie ass but unfor- the hill as the sun finished he said, while applying a damned. I mean. like wow. tunately I‘m just too old and its daily swan song under \NaterAPik to his nose. I've never touched hard feeble-minded." he exclaim- itches for members the cotton-like clouds. Sud» drugs. We use some of the ed. by Bowele R. anin practicing proctologists (see denly the figure spread his “The Commies. Fascists milder stimulants like ”Now that us filthy rich ad below). arms, as though he were and those damn liberals are smack. junk. hash and occa- citizens have the tax Staff “I thought about it a long ready to launch himself from really screwing the country sionally a soft shelters we don't need. we “You know. that's a good time and saw many reasons his earthly mound. The over. I want to create a hallucenogenic-like peyote can get around to really question." Dr. Hemm. R. for the club. It's just sort of Staff photo by l. Chmg Releef figure lifted his voice society where decent Cauca- to get the people more in- ruining this country and Rhoid. adviser to the new an offshit — I mean shoot heavenward and requested sians can have complete rule volved in the word of God as making some prime cash." proctology club at State. of the many national Deeply imbedded in all of us is a learned trait telling u; fire and brimstone as an en of the nation. provided I minister it but never When asked what the said. smiling from cheek to organizations." he said. ad- not to drop our pants in public, a natural tendency fdr tree for the hellish meal he they're rich enough." anything hard." i-‘altwell reverend intended to do cheek in his double- ding that there are many those sufferingfrom hemorrhoids. One service the newly desired for his fellow man. Faltwell is a more of .a said. about all the vice sliming cushioned easy chair. “I‘ve such organizations establish- formed proctoiogy club wants to supply the public with “ALL WHO OPPOSE ME romantic than people give across our virgin land. he spent many nights probing ed to alleviate the is alternative itching methods. B-EAW-A-R-E!" he screamed. him credit for. Faltwell is quite a man of dreamily responded, “I want that question — I‘ve had a widespread problems as a bolt of lightning flew “Sex is a private, sen- state. to severely isolate it and lot of people ask me that — associated with hemor- said. reaching for a long in- . fled manner. “is through from his finger tips. “YOU suous matter." he ex- “Me and Ronnie are very. keep it in my own kinky and I just can't seem to put rhoids. strument on a shelf behind finger manipulation. Like KNOW WHO IS ON MY umerated. “People want to very close. I was approached dungeon." my finger on a good enough his desk. this." SIDE... so there." he keep their screwing under about running for president answer. “Think about George “See this?" he .asked. Rhoid proceeded to taunted. wraps. When me and the of the local chapter of the Ku Faitwell hopes his mission “Ass . . . . excuse me. Ac- Brett and Jimmy- Carter, holding what he referred to demonstrate the technique. The Rev. Jerome missus make bacon. we like Klux Klan but I had a on earth will be completed tually. the purpose of the man. They both had hemor- as America’s second-best using all his fingers. and Faltwell. a ringleader of the to muffle our moans with scheduling problem and soon so he can get a good club is to dig deeper into the rhoids. Hell. Brett had to sit form of relief the then grabbing anything Moral Majority, feels his muzzles. If I ever caught didn't make it to candidate seat on the flight to heaven. tissues I mean issues -— out for four or five games Reliever. “Some of the within reach — a pencil. a views of “moral purity" will anybody in my congregation registration in time." “Since I've worked my of digging deeper into 'cause of 'em. Carter had to members of the club were spiral note pad. a coffee cup eventually lead to the talking about sex. I'd have ‘ Faltwell is really a die- balls off for Him. God should the causes of hemorrhoids." sit out his whole career as concerned for people who — anything to calm the ir- “cleansing of Smut- ~ them castrated." hard pacifist despite his save me a good seat. See you president. He didn't even have hemorrhoids. ritation he started up bet America." as Faltwell put it. Faltwell holds a special politically fiery reputation. on Judgment Day. sucker." Rhoid is the probable get a second chance at the Specifically they wanted to ween his legs. head of the new School of presidency. Who wants a give people the fastest possi- His face flushed in embar- The Debs have finally shown their faces. During a recent Proctology at State. which is president who's always ble way of relieving an ass- rassment. he threw himself concert at the Pi Kappa Gator house, (left to right) Mitsy behind schedule but will be scratching his bung hole? itch without getting smelly on a nearby cactus — fanny Smith, Buffy Jones and Scooter LaFeet played some of finished by 1994, according Why do you think Reagan fingers. first. their newest hits to an increasing number of fans who to Rhoid. The club is open to won by such a wide spread? “Actually. the best way to “It gets out of hand know they exist. When asked where they will next play all students provided they f'It’s a problem and we're relieve an itch-down there." sometimes." he said. rising they responded by extending their yappers and releas- pass a scratch-and-sniff test just trying to approach it Rhoid said. bending down from the cactus and grabb ing a sound similar to that of a duck. . developed at the Research from as many different below his navel and continu- ing his Reliever. Staff photo by Dinky Punket Triangle Park recently for angles ass possible." Rhoid ing to speak in a rather muf- “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

THE NEW PROCTOLOGY CLUB is looking for members to help wipe out hemor- rhoidal problems. We are open to all When you need $65 fast, students provided you pass this scratch-and-sniff test provided by the you find out who your friends are. Research Triangle Park. ...~4~ Send your guess of what you’re smell- ingto: Dr. Hemm R. Rhoid orifice of student development, AAAAAAAA‘AAA‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

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Singer blends pre-cultural elements

of sex and song to excite crowds Reefer Ray hopes of making big bucks — despite demonstrations Entertainment Writer and Pothead by the several campus groups including the Coalition of Preppies for More Beach Music (Zack‘s was too One of the most major disturbances during a overcrowded for them). Raleigh Humane Society musical event occurred last night when the punk sen- (they were protesting the killing of animals), NAACP sation Neandernerd brought his lively performance (they wanted the publicity) and Committee to Stop to Reynolds Coliseum. It was an embarrassing Assasins (seems Jody Foster wasn't the only enter- weekend for all involved as the disgusting performer tainer John Hinckley knew). left his degenerating mark on Triangle audiences. Last night proved to be a climactic end to the Even a month before his ill-slated appearance, week's violent activites as Neandernerd took the .5 .4. x. .. L. Neandernerd was in the middle of controversy. It all stage an hour late. having to fight away the five Statt photo by Who (.ares began when the UAB. deep in financial trouble and sorority girls since he could not satisfy them. After Student, body president Joe Boredom opposed the equally pissed at Joe Boredom. student body presi- five minutes of rapid Obsenities he couldn't get his Neandernerd concert. dent. for his lack of concern. invited Neandernerd for zipper back up) Neandernerd began his first set with a concert because of his unusually low performing “Do It Till It Turns Red" from his best-selling debut Obsenities began to fly in the audience as several price; five virgin college coeds. After a quick trip by album Gimme a Dog in Heat Tonight. members of the group joined Neandernerd onstage the UAB finannce committee over to the Alpha Grab- During" the first set he caused mass sickness as he for a rendition and instructional performance of ba Fly sorority on Fraternity Ct.. the concert was tortured animals with drumsticks. destroyed his “Kinky Sex in Large Groups is Good for You." a negotiated. guitars. committed sexual offenses onstage. and favorite song in many of Chapel Hill‘s drinking The situation became more intense as events in whipped his band members (nothing like a little S establishments. New York and Chicago increased concern in the and' M). The action onstage was too much for the Raleigh Triangle area. It was learned that Neandernerd caus- The first act though was mild compared to the rest Police and Public Safety to put up with. They raided ed concert riots in these cities, that he was a con- of the evening. The trouble began when he praised the stage. Heavy fighting followed as the police of- Staff photo by Pip Squeak victed child molester. animal murderer. leftist homosexuality which unexpectedly brought cheers ficers tried to bust up the group because Convicted child molester and potential presidential homosexual and all around nasty guy. All of this bad from a large portion of the audience. It was then Neandernerd would not let them take part in the assassin Neandernerd upset Raleigh's peace with his con- publicity though had caused sell-out crowds at all of learned that a group from Chapel Hill‘s huge gay group activities. cert last night. his concerts. so the UAB continued with plans in community was present. The scene became more intense as a group of fraternity members tried to bust things up. Neandernerd responded by vomiting on them. They Fleabitten audience enjoys howls of roving band quickly fled, explaining that Neandernerd had mess- ed up their nice new clothes. Neandernerd explained crowds and they have brought about the destruction fans aren't overcome by the smell of dogfood. they later that pink and green often caused him to get by Yo' Mama of more than one nightclub. Dog Vomit takes the are assisted by the nauseated people around them. sick. Entertainment Writer stage hurling insults at each other and pissing into Needless to say. nightclub carpets don‘t fare very One listen to Dog Vomit's debut album. Barf the crowd. which retaliates by hurling dogfood at well. After the riot onstage was cleared up, Biscuits. and you'll know why this punk band is tak- them. Sexless Cindy is wheeled up to her microphone Neandernerd quickly broke into “I Want To Stick It ing the country by storm. The critics have accused and proceeds to flash the audience, which is quickly Barf Biscuits. available from Bitch Records. Where It Hurts" and eased the tension in the au- them of ”absurdly filthy lyrics and disgusting stage silenced by disgust. faithfully captures the band’s sound. The record dience. The rest of the performance went smoothly h:bits" and rock fans of all ages are swarming to see The opening tune is usually a cover version of features the potential underground hit single, “Let‘s except for one instance when Neandernerd kicked a t em. Devo‘s “Mongoloid.” which ironically describes the Piss on a Fire Hydrant." along with other concert Bowen resident. mistaking her for his collie attack condition of guitarist Dummy Dick, who is pointed at favorites like “Porking Poodles." “1 Caught the dog. The band consists of four ex-convicts who began and spit upon' by the other band members. The Canine Clap." “Screwing a‘ St. Bernard (Is Hard to Though the UAB will not comment on the concert playing together at Rikers. After their release, they show’s highpoint. however, is an instrumental jam Do)." and “Dingo Dipshit." Needless to say. this on the grounds that they do not make decisions. last met up with Sexless Cindy. a blind paraplegic whore called “Chihuahuas in Heat." Cindy. no longer need- album is a must for all perverted dog-lovers. night’s performance was an unforgettable event. who gave up her floundering business to become the ed. is dumped from her wheelchair and left to flop band's lead vocalist. around the stage. shouting Obscenities. The band's performances attract large. hostile There are dozens of “casualties" every show; if What Do You ant Toocool lectures in Stewart Znight From Col ege? Reefer Boy sexual activity. After a Management Training? Entertainment Writer .. . brutal question-and-answer .. “a. . . c, . period. Toocool will give in- ' "1 "irAddilt-T‘ot HuhYour Schedule. ‘I.M." Too‘cobl. author of dividualized instruction in The Ofﬁcial Leather Hand- whipping techniques to You're career oriented. book and Leather and small groups. . You're interested in man- Chains — How to Wear This lecture is the second .agement. Them will lecture tonight in in a three-part series of lec- You're an individual Stewart Theatre at 7:30. tures on dress styles. Next ‘ ’ seeking experience in prob- The lecture is sponsored by week Shesa Loosegal. lem analysis, requiring the UAB Lectures Commit- author of Making Men What Kind of Man ' decision-making resmts. tee and the Raleigh Youth Want YourBody. will speak Techinlloak? You want management for Hitler Society. on nightlife dress. Reads training and leadership State students will be ad- experience. Experience mitted free with ID. Non- Friends of the College that will be an asset in a students will be charged an 1981-82 Concert Season management career — or arm and a leg or their first any career you may choose. male child. Sept. 20 Sgt. Pepper‘s Lonely Hearts Club Band It you are this individual. Mr. Toocool will show Oct. 31 Bennie and the Jetts . _ y0u can get all of this slides and wear macho . experience through the fashions for 1981. Topics to Nov. 15 Mr. Bojangles and the N.C. Symphony 5' adventure of Army ROTC. be discussed include: Dec. 10 Th’ C igaretz “Choosing the right chains Jan. 18 Apple Chill Cloggers for your body." Bulges and Feb. 21 Slim Whitman and Boxcar Willie how to make them bigger," April 17 Mummenshaft BE ALL YOU "The virtues of Black and All performances begin at 8 pm. Season ticket CAN BE chrome." "Seductive -are available but State students and one 81188 perspiration." “Whipping For More Information for pleasure"and “the black will be admitted free upon presentation of ID and Contact: boot controversy." current registration card. ' Captain Mike Morrow. This informative lecture Patrons are reminded that soft-soled shoes must Room 152 should answer the most be worn to all performances in Reynolds Coliseum Reynolds Coliseum pressing questions on dress to prevent scarring the basketball court. No high codes. homosexuality. and heels will be allowed inside the auditorium. leather burns as applied to

The University Players Present NEED 0 HOUSING? William Shakespeare’s T WAKEFIELD APARTMENTS 135 NOW ACCEPTING LIMITED APPLICATIONS FOR GUARANTEED 8pm .1. FALL OCCUPANCY 39 month lease available. Up to 4 students permit- April 6 ~11 Le ted per apartment keeps your monthly rent per person reasonable. Thompson Theatre AVOID THE LOTTERY BLUES — APPLY NOW North Carolina State University Located adjacent to Wake County Medical Center and I-64! Just 13 minutes from NCSU. Bus service to NCSU on Route Vincent Prim 21-. 054:” VViIrIi: #15. Year round indoor swimming pool, exercise room and Ill Adults 3 2.50 Other students $2.00 clubhouse. Tennis courts and outdoor pool, too. One and two Diversions Er Delights bedroom plans offer modern kitchen, air conditioning, and ID carpeting. Cablevision 8 HBO available. For complete informa— .4...,c..§-..t-..§-...:-...‘..-.‘..4..3..4..3..i..-..,.... NCSU Students Free with registration tion and a complimentary indoor pool pass, visit us 9-6:00 pm. ﬁfeamrl o’l'h’ealre daily, Saturday 10-5:00 pm. and Sunday 1-5:00 pm. ﬁtndaynApril 5, ‘798 1 Call 737-2405 between 12 and 6pm 3105 Holston Lane. Phone 832-3929 88pm Show Sold Out ‘ A Isobar ofthe UnionActivities Board TODAY! Ticket Information 73 3 105 W 813111-153. March 34, 1%1 Techinileak Five

Volcano erupts big time;

former Heel breaking bad

SHORT SPURTS: Well. the NCAA Tournament is over with and we all know North Carolina ‘blew' it Between again and it makes one wonder what's wrong with those damn little blue tar babies in Chapel Hill. the Screw All Is it their sex life or lack of it? Look at it though — they've been to the final four Thighs Spurts Editor six times and haven't come away with the big one and us guys from State have only been once and we come away with a national championship. I guess Dean's boys just peter out . . . past couple of weeks has been a local sportscaster and special radio-guest commentator at the NCAA The latest crime reports in northern New Jersey Tournament. has announced he will take over the say that wife beating has gone up over 75 percent spot recently vacated by Rich Brenner at WRAerV. since October. The Nielsen ratings showed that. in his TV debut Now that's a strange coincidence since former Tar two weeks ago. Channel 5 set a new all-time ratings Heel Mike O'Moren started playing basketball with high. the New Jersey Nets in October. “This job is just a steppingstone to when I get to And we know that sly four-time All-Acne member the networks and take Bryant Gumbel's place." was accused of beating up his wife. while married. Volcano said. ”What I really want to be is another Bil- Will 5. Spacey named Chancellor Draw your own conclusions . . . ly Packer or Al McGuire." “It‘s going to be tough sitting behind that desk Mulligan. one of the 'most by Hugh Giveada- Also we will be training. the said. “Unfortunately this ty at the present sites of Ric Flare and Blackhack with him." said Boobie Battista. with a big gleam in Assistant Spur-ts Editor School of Design to design will require the elimination Kilgore and Nelson halls as feared tag teams in wrestling history. announced , her eyes. “He's so cute. I just wish he wasn’t married our basketball programs — of so many ag-and-life well as making Bragaw the that they will attend State on a wrestling scholarship An entire week of specula- The Wolfieach News needs buildings I see no future for new housing facility for next fall. tion ended yesterday by some new blood anyhow. the school if it were to re women athletes in an at- “They will be a great addition to the team." State coach naming former Director of The School of Forestry will main.” tempt to stave off prosecu- wrestling head coach Bob Guzzo said. "I’ve always It h‘as been reported that soccer-lacrosse Athletics Will S. Spacey as be involved in full—time bat- Spacey also continued his tion by Title IX. admired Ric‘s suflex and Blackhack‘s pile-driver is Larry Groos and former Raleigh mayor Isabella Ca- the new Chancellor replae making out of the finest oak plans for campus renovation Plans for the new sheer hell." nyon have been seen together at Raleigh nightspots. ing departing head Slowab trees they can grow. by outlining plans for natatorium came about "We‘re making great strides with our program." Canyon was unavailable for comment but Groos Thomas. _“Other plans include even- several other buildings. amidst rumors the swimm- Guzzo said. “We’re on the verge of signing Wahoo had this to say: “She's real good with a stick and has Spacey was decided upon tually switching our “D. H. Hill Library will ing program would be MacDaniel but he's leaning toward North Carolina. some good creases. She also heads some good balls. after minutes ofdeliberation engineering program into become the new high-rise of- cancelled in favor of a which makes you wonder about his masculinity. Plus Plus having been mayor. she's helping me try and between members of a panel designing football and ficesfor the athletics depart- women's soccer program to Ric said he wouldn't wrestle on the same team as stop whoever's been throwing rocks through my win- selected to seek out a new basketball stadiums. We will ment. with the upper floor rival that of the Tar Heels. MacDaniel. because he's prettier . . ." dow." . administrator. be creating a new School of being used as a press box for No plans are in the works Sticks and stones may break my bones but words The panel was made up of Parks and Recreation to the baseball stadium." for Reynolds Coliseum at State basketball coach Jim Volcano. who in the will never hurt me .. . five people from the triangle replace the School of Spacey said. “Lee and the present although Spacey area including a resident of Humanities and Social Sullivan dorms will be would like to expand the Central . Prison. a Sciences." reserved for State athletes facility to accomodate the Hillsborough Street Other program changes and the Quad will be used belltower. sTr CK'MENH . .° derelict. Mayor Smedes outlined by Spacey include for the housing of Wolfpack Wilhem Smirnoff Spacey Stork's cleaning lady. as enlisting the full-time ser- Club members and their was born at half-time of the well as two members of the vices of the School of Tex— families on game weekends. 14th State-Carolina game. Tar Heel basketball team. tiles to make red jackets for With the exception of which happened to be the ‘5 Spacey has a long the Wolfpack Club Stewart Theatre. which will Pack's first victory over the background in campus ad- members. be used for showing game Heels. Spacey continued to ministration. dating back Spacey also introduced films. the rest of the Student ‘7? .in) some three-and-a-half mon- some new architectural rise in his field until his in- ths. Spacey will continue his planning for the University. Center will be left open to stallment as athletic direc- a“: .' "'- l duties as athletics director which requires the elimina- the rest of the student body. tor in 1909. Spacey comes to along with carrying out the tion of the School of Other plans outlined by State with good recommen- ., r‘ in! chancellor’s regular duties. Agriculture and Life Spacey were building a new dations from the outgoing ,5 in addition to drawing the Sciences. track at the present site of chancellor. salaries for both positions. “One of our major pro- the McKimmon Center. "Will is a good man for the The reason for this is that it jecta over the first year of building a new natatorium job." Slowab said. "I'm sure would be too costly 'tpjfillg 31y reign;wi_n;'gclude tearing where the triad now stands he can take the ball and run Spacey's vacated position. down Williams. Gardner. and the construction of a ‘3with i'tIIIe'atlie'Iype of guy Spacey was quick to point Harrelson and Polk Halls to combined fencing and rifle that will either learn how to out many new programs in make room for our new arena on the Court of the skate or bust his ass trying. store for the campus when baseball stadium, lacrosse Carolinas. I’m sure there will be no pro he takes office at 8:07 p.m.. field and tennis courts Finally. plans are being blems in the transition April 31. 1981. Spacey said located where those made for soccer facilities at either as far as I'm con- he has had a life-long dream buildings and the brickyard the ES. King village and a cerned the hall's in his court of being in charge of this in- presently stand," Spacey new women's athletic facili- right now." stitution and now he is finally able to initiate his pro- w ams. screame “The first thing we're go- WHAT ABOUT A MORE SEXUAL CHRISTIANI ATTENTION ALL PAMS STUDENTS AND ShM-ER’S, roleplayers, wargamers, voyeurs REDUCE READING BACKLDOS - Several sell» ing to do is ask for a decent So that no Screamera m be run. all TY? University ClIIrclt weekend forum topic. FACULTY — "diets for annual “Spring and fanatics ODD club meeting today. 1:30 mstructtoml reading programs designed to in AVID items mun be less than 30 pages and must Sun. Apr. 5, 7:30 pm, Holy Trinity Lutheran Cluckan Pickin” on sale in depenmental ol- pm, Fourth floor lounge, Sullivan Ithls sole ol crease rate and compression available at the athletics-fee increase." batypadorlegiblyscrewledonBli’Xll’ Blanch, corner of Brooks and Clark. Dr. Iicas 33003. 31m to PAMS members and Rivendelll Learning Asshtanoe Cutter. ‘20 Poe, Spacey said. “We haven't looIscap.NothingwiIIbenin.aver.0nIyona. James Nelson, speaker. All welcome. Bong a $1.50 to guests Bring live animal. 73731.. . Wine 8 Cheese received a decent increase iterniromaainpaorgenismwiilbemninen friend . NCSU PROCTOLOGY CLUB IAlpha Sigma since I‘ve been here. We will nan.Aliteotaotightmnatlaaaortca,or ANY PRESENT OFFICER or member of a col Sigmal Will have "5 normal pokeathon this THIRTY AND THREE sopttrmora leadership strive over a two-week maybe they won't. before their meeting date lege Rewblimn ckib or anyone waiting to Saturday night in private. honorary. Members or leaders of any campus Party the butthareairltnoweyaoitamwillappaar A JOURNEY BEYOND SEX HOLES. University form one, please write: Clarita Williams, Box organizations. especially Tachimleak, llOI ehgr period to increase morathaothreetimesjhadeadioaforall Church Weekend Forum topic. Sat, Apr. 4, 5591, NCSU, Raleigh, NC 27650. FIamtng COMPUTER SCIENCE DEPARTMENT en ble. Application and infatuation available In percentage of tuition used Screamere is5 pm. the day ofpublication 7:30 pm, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, cor- apply. nounces llS "FUCC up TUCC" Contest. First 2“ Harris, Circuittoo Oat-Library, and Infor- for athletics to at least 78.18 . fordnpmvimrsbnnereeptonTuMys, ner of Brooks and Clark. Dr. James Nelson, W need not one to permanently break up UNCs connec mation Dent-Student Center. TODAY—NOON “UL 821!) PM percent." whaodaadlioeslolmtharuleafor Fabio. speaker. All welcome. Bring your whole NATIONAL ADM-MARKETING ASSOCIATION two wins Spacey has plenty of new They may be submitted in Sweet: ZLSSZI, dorm. INAMAI of NCSU meeting Mon, Apr. B, 730 If YOU HAVE LOST it on campusor at UNCG, plans for many of the schools The Satin Sheet Inn. Screamer: are run pm, Rm. Patterson. There's a sudter born ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS Will have IIS an please check the Lost and Found, Information whenever we feel like it lender the table every minute All members please attend. nual Keg Chug on the Intramural held at 3:00 Desk. Student Center. All Wage items will at State including the new DANCE VISIONS PRESENTS "Silent Expres am. Saturday. The Oevrd G. Memorial Pukaa be auctioned on Apr. It, 7:30 on, first floor Join us as we celebrate School of Veterinary ALL-GREEK PANAFRICAN AFFAIR pmemed starts” Mon, Apr. 6, 7:30 pm, Stewan SCHOOL OF AGRICULTURE AND LIFE Thon wtll be immediately lollowmg. at the Sludsnt Canter Medicine. which will be by the Panhellenic Counei Apr. III. Affair in Theater. ThreeD glasses provrdad Admission SCIENCES COUNCIL spring cookout Wed, the opening of our new changed to the School of chides deco, casino game of starter: and free — open to the public. Apr. II. All students Ill SALS are encouraged Sports Medicine. Other bloody mary breakfast Tickets and permits to attend Iyotrve already paid lot to Pick up The NCSU Black Student Board Presents: Raleigh store. schools will be renovated as mm mm. TEST ANXIETY REDUCTION WORKSHORIour your permits at department head secretaries well. Ilhl seams beginning Tues, Apr, 7, 8:15 affirms by Fri, Apr. 3. PAN-AFRICAN FESTIVAL '81 p.m.~7t45 pm, zoo Harris. Sign up in zoo liar! April 6-12 “Our present plans call for FNISBEEmlmncolorsereredandwliiteComsctDISC hot-m with the well no ANIMALSCIENCE CLUB Will mat Tues. Apr. the elimrnatton of at least tone 6' $241227. '0” ris. There's nothing to worry about 7, 1:00 pm. in 110 Poi. Topic: formation of Representatives from two schools." Spacey said. Moo U. AmiOeIsmetion Leonie All welcome Monday. April 0 “Till! will ensure funds ‘0? “RED 3m ‘ m _ 00 W “a FIRST ANMIAL MEDIEVAL RENAISSADIZE Bring your m Dance Visions in Concert AVID Corporation will be game; If you doyou are sturdythe type FAIR, Sat, Apr. 4, 10:00 amid]! pm, Stu 7:30 pm. in Stewart Theatre the completion of our new Center. Free, except a nominal charge WORLD ENDS TODAY — Details in Mondays general athletics facility. dpramtheISO Outer cue‘sIed'stg'lor. dent Isclllh'llaolt. Tuesday. April 7 on hand to introduce the lot Knights of Hill. Miss Pan-African Contest WWW]!!! 8:00 pm. in Stewart Theatre highly acclaimed line of WOFPIEBNANCY 0110. Wednesday. April 8 AVID Speakers to Raleigh. Abctlea t- 1! as 10 weeks elated New Horizons Choir in Concert at enamel east i‘b—sap------.---fi- 8:00 pm. in Stewart Theatre teat. birth control and bla- eeu .Por Thursday. April hferma can (toll free Two for the Pan-African Talent Show number (sooner-asset between 85:00 pm. in Stewart Theatre Ian-Span. weekdays. GY clinic FREE 015.”. Friday. April 10 I“ Inn's I“ price of One! Greek Show AVID 1m Speakers 6:30 pm. in Ballroom of to be given WW NCSU Student Center away at 7:!) Greek Pan-African Dance 10:00 pm. in Ballroom of NCSU Student Center Stop by and Celerity Line ‘ Saturday. April 11 register ‘ A 1st Floor Student 5°“. Picnic AVID 1028 12:00 noon at Harris Field - wotr Cub Concert Buy one pizza and get one of 8:00 at Wm. Neal Reynolds Won must be present to win) - Large Fries b‘? Coliseum equal value or smaller FREE! Sunday. A 12 - Medium Drink ”N. Churc Services AprilEndsOffer 11:00 am. in Stewart Theatre “couponisgoodmytinu,alwssku African History Program outhasren" Vslleylocanon‘cum-ms pm. in Stewart Theatre forfsstsrsemce'.Ourcustomsrs' knowtho 4:00 . F------———--. .— . L--.....— ‘Special Pan-African Party New Open . . . N10 Hillaborough Stream-w at Gillie‘s Sat.. April 4 Morons from NCSU Isl Towarl at 10:00 pm. Hours: M.. TIL, Fr. 11-8. 1’. W 11-7. Sat. 11-0 Six / Techiniieak / March 34, 1%1 A i 1:5ch Dom-sagrmb nmmmopr tF’ i'i'CCtrIEmDQ'ID ITiQJx ‘D LNEgFr—T DeWit-’s -less brains finally show through . ND marremwmms l wXT‘ UiCE'iS EHT'IKEr IT mDLmlltJG- As Washington‘s newly elected conser- gressiveness of the imperialist wardogs who ramWI OAW'IDSYIQLUKEHW vative moguls barnstorm their way through continuously threaten the freedom and in- the nation's consciousness. the compas- From the Top dependence of the entire socialist community. fiD Rf W Uri-hm mu sionate Left must man the ramparts against In extolling the exploitative economics of this goon squad. Thomas ' . DeWitless capitalism and seeking to initiate a new world In their zeal to scratch the back of the na- conflagration. Reagan has emerged as the tion’s corporate hierarchy. the natural equality world's most dangerous figure since Adolph of the proletariat is in danger of being As our colleagues in the Kremlin attempt to Hitler. Ignoring the obvious virtues of the obscured by capitalistic exploitation sustain the hard-won victories of the working world's communist movement he seeks to President Reagan's determination to deny class in Poland, Afghanistan. Cuba. etc.. the undermine the world's only hope for a radiant economic and social justice. and turning the White House ’warmonger attempts to fan the and just future. ' clock back to the hey-day of the fires of conflict and war by ignoring the cries of “freemarket.” and thus exploiting the the world's socialist peoples. Reagan and his political allies should be li- masses. is frightening. Seeking to diminish the The provacateurs in America seek to quidated for their roles in the denigration of role of the people in economic decision- undermine the social and economic justice the greatness of socialist principles. They making. Reagan is moving to an ever larger that is apparent in the Soviet Union and the should follow the examples of the vast llillllllxillIlXIIlIlXiIlI-I'I'X‘7l'l,Y,'.ilI role fOr the capitalistic dogs. Why? entire socialist community. populations of the socialist community in It is well-known among thoughtful circles Now the American administration is in- recognizing the blissful conditions of peace. that Ronald Reagan and his bin of Neander- itiating a deadly new round in the arms race. justice and equality in the communist state. thals are. at heart, fascists. In this light one Ignoring Russia's clear and concerted efforts The peoples of Poland and Afghanistan must recognize that the goals of our great in the matter of sustaining peace and stability. especially are testimony to the success of ,VlVIV‘’VIV' communist mentors are in danger of being the Reagan White House accuses it of engag- Marxism in meeting the people‘s needs. They l usurped by the militaristic. rascist and elitist ing in history's most massive arms build-up. In are satisfied with their ebullient conditions. direction of Ronald “ray-guns" burgeoning fact. the Soviet Union has modernized its Notice the din of silence from those within fascist armies. military forces only as a response to the ag- who feel otherwise.

sc a—. g, . NS 9’3“ cu “‘§° sis--g pave».. THO?Y sweet—Y C iggbgggfamgtf’aééti opinion «at. 1 E98; Eadzalg En“ V“ Sfigiéwa'égzs uge_.g YouonWHAT, A paper that is entirely the hy-product of the students' bodies becomes at once the officialsex AT“lavomit“: -iE-"TilESFA' z 22%.§m_?9>5 8%( organ through which the thoughts collie. The journal is the very stimulus of sex life of the earn- (0R MFPE.w-r PTiff:l'cOl‘lBiNE- pua. It is the mouthpiece through which the students become perverted. College life without its Ealfigg‘i’gtg‘g‘fimg "it.” iTsoNE journal is simply not arousing. AW“ -— the Techinilealr. vol. 69. no. 69. February69.1909 DABLEmam *Kifll’l‘.§°§ rgn 5°” ’92‘ wronu. TmssPAcE. NOVANDWveersFewA £2 3 z dig “ E t BEENM- air... $32 '§§%8.~§E3 2532i ' °° Gimme gimme gimme inrossisies-”THE. rials»M;-mareas:HE 5-5CULPFDR.AND egg sé'fiizsiieégg to be FLUIDMULTI'MNANDMAN'~wu. Throughout this school year the Hillsborough Square needed 2 El ifl’eggggfio Techinileak has proposed numerous ways renovated. However, office 'space is not l priority; we need BARS! Ed’s is minceisTHATms DRYINGPraeto-lNSTANTusmeAN “Edgg:w5 (3: to improve our campus. In keeping with our top Vania:armour. THE- $33, z