PFLAG IS A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION WITH OVER 250,000 MEMBERS AND JUST OVER 250 CHAPTERS IN THE U.S.

ISSUE VOLUME 08 19 AUGUST 2012 www.pflag.com [email protected]

IN THE GOOD ‘OLE SUMMERTIME

Please join us for our General Meeting on to get to know one another. We will have our Monday, August 27 at 7:00 pm at the First picnic at 7:00 pm in the courtyard next to our United Methodist Church, 2231 Camino del meeting room and have our support groups Rio South in Mission Valley. The building at 8:00 pm (reverse order than usual). where we meet is The United Methodist Bring any type of dish you’d like to Center, in The Cove Room. Doors open at share, enough for 10 people (main dish, 6:45 pm. salad, appetizer, side dish, casserole, or This meeting is our annual potluck, summer dessert). Also, bring a non-alcoholic picnic. We will not have a speaker this month beverage for yourself. so that we can share a meal together and Hope to see you there with your appetites! enjoy each others’ company. It’s a great time

23RD ANNUAL AIDS WALK

Put on your 8:00 am. The registration fee is $35 ($25 The nitty gritty details will be in the sneakers and for 17 & under and 60+). If we have 10 September newsletter. get geared up to or more walkers registered by September walk with PFLAG 21, we will qualify as Team PFLAG and be If you don’t have internet, call 619- on Sunday, able to walk with the prestigious sneaker 692-2077 ext. 247 (Ian Johnson) to September 30 for sign with our PFLAG name on it. It truly is participate. For questions, please contact the 23rd Annual a badge of honor. Sherry Cohen-Richards, 858-349-6269 or AIDS Walk San scohenrichards@pfl ag.com. Diego. This event is We need your support. Please register. San Diego’s largest Go to www.AIDSwalksd.org and select one-day HIV/AIDS Register at the top of the page, then fundraiser and Join an Existing Team. Either enter the biggest non-governmental fi nancial PFLAG San Diego or Search for a provider for HIV/AIDS in San Diego Team and fi nd PFLAG San Diego. County. Dozens of agencies - serving Click on the Join button and follow thousands of clients - rely on funds the instructions. raised at the annual Walk to help provide Even if you can’t walk with us, please essential prevention and care programs register so we can meet our 10 to thousands of men, women and children person and fi nancial goals ($1000). living with HIV/AIDS. You will be asked for your t-shirt size The 5K Walk (or 10K run) is held in Balboa since all participants receive a t-shirt Park at Quince and 6th Avenue starting at the morning of the walk. OFFICERS, COMMITTEES & VOLUNTEERS Membership Application Current Positions Co-Presidents Newsletter  New  Renewal  Change of Address Patti Boman Sherry Cohen-Richards,  Please contact me for volunteer opportunities 619-227-6092 Editor [email protected] Linda Bessemer, Laura Confi dentiality is respected. Your donation is tax Partido & Flowers Group deductible (Tax ID 33-05-12868) Terrie Vorono Printing 858-483-8310 Make checks payable to: [email protected] Jessy Sauchuk, Belladia Marketing & Design PFLAG San Diego Past President PO Box 82762 Barbara Bodine San Diego, CA 92138 [email protected] Programs The Board Type of Membership Vice-President Sherry Cohen-Richards Scholarship  Individual ...... $30  Household ...... $40 Olivia Dorman 858-349-6269  Business ...... $50  Supporting ...... $60 [email protected] Spanish Interpreter  Contributing .....$125  Lifetime ...... $1000  Other ...... $______Recording Secretary Maria Cortinas  Accept my donation, please do not list. Arlene Prater 760-758-3294 [email protected] Speakers’ Bureau Please fi ll out, clip and mail this form Terrie Vorono Corresponding Name ...... Secretary Betsy Sheets Address ...... Coordinator [email protected] City ...... Evelyn Lindenmuth Treasurer 619-300-0396 State...... ZIP ...... Mark Thompson Email ...... 619-339-5843 Refreshments [email protected] Sandi Timberlake Phone...... Date ......

Greeter Website or go online www.pfl ag.com Lonnie Brunini Robert Sachristan [email protected] [email protected] Membership forms available at www.pfl ag.com

Membership Board Members Bobbi Harwood Patti Boman, Sherry Cohen- GET YOUR PRIDE GEARR 858-453-3249 Richards, Nikki Eddy, Ron [email protected] Goetz, Kim Martinez, Arlene Visit our online store & show yourr Prater, Betsy Sheets, Karen support, purchase from PFLAG. Info Line Thompson, Mark Thompson, Support/Outreach Sandi Timberlake, Terrie http://www.cafepress.com/pfl agsd 888-398-0006 Vorono, Courtney Ware

PFLAG San Diego PO Box 82762 San Diego, CA 92138 Tax ID #33-0512868 RobertRobert Sachristan Sachristan CreativeWorks CreativeWorks GraphicGraphic Design Design 619619 630 630 - - 0498 0498 Current Events SUPPORT GROUPS August 20 September 10 Monday Monday SD COUNTY GENERAL MEETING & SUPPORT GROUP Mi Familia Support Group PFLAG Support Group East County Meets every fourth Monday at 7:00 pm, at the First United August 24-26 Methodist Church, 2231 Camino del Rio South in Mission September 10 Friday-Sunday Valley. San Diego Men’s Chorus Monday Concert (see article) Mi Familia Support Group For further information, contact the Info Line: 888-398-0006 or www.pfl ag.com August 25 September 13 Saturday Thursday Equality Awards (see article) PFLAG Support Group NORTH COUNTY COASTAL North County Inland August 27 Meets the fi rst Monday, at 7:00 pm, North County LGBTQ Monday September 17 Resource Center, 510 North Coast Highway, Suite C, San Diego PFLAG Monday General Meeting & Mi Familia Support Group Oceanside. Support Groups Contact ncpfl [email protected] or September 30 August 27 Sunday Larry Gerling, (760) 224-2178. Monday AIDS Walk (see article) Mi Familia Support Group NORTH COUNTY INLAND September 10 Meets every second Thursday, at 7:00 pm, Temple Adat Monday PFLAG Support Group Shalom, 15905 Pomerado Road, Room #9, Poway (Ran- North County Coastal cho Bernardo). The entrance to parking is directly across the street from the entrance to Sprouts’ Market Center. Drive to the end of the building and bear right around it, to Equality is the soul of liberty, there is, the fi rst doors on your right (double doors). in fact, no liberty without it. Contact Sue Fine, (858) 673-4560 or Frances Wright pfl [email protected].

EAST COUNTY MISSION STATEMENT Meets every second Monday, at 7:00 pm, Summit Unitarian PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, Universalist Church, 8778 Cottonwood Avenue, Santee. , bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through Support, to cope with an adverse Contact Ron Goetz, (619) 588-2342 or society; Education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; [email protected]. and Advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. MI FAMILIA (Spanish) PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual Meetings are every Monday from 6:00pm - 8:00 pm at orientation and acts to create a society that is healthy The Center. and respectful of human diversity. Contact Carolina, (619) 692-2077 Ext. 116.

TRANSGENDER SUPPORT For more information on the Transgender Support Group Contact Kathe Dunn, [email protected].

National PFLAG, Washington, DC (202) 647-8180, www.pfl ag.org 3 WHERE CAN I BUY LET’S MISBEHAVE: THE MUSIC & WIT OF COLE PORTER THAT T-SHIRT? The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus’s Ensemble, showcases one of America’s most beloved and “The Mood Swings,” will perform August 24- prolifi c musical theatre composers. With the Parade 26 at the Lyceum Theatre at Horton Plaza, and Festival over for this downtown San Diego. Showtimes are Friday, August 24 at 8 pm; year, it is time to answer the Saturday, August 25 at 8 pm; and Sunday, question of where to get The Mood Swings, SDGMC’s 11-voice August 26 at 3 pm. Tickets vary from $30- those lovely PFLAG tees, ensemble, will present a rollicking song $39.00. For tickets or more information, visit hats, tote bags with the and dance revue of the life of Cole Porter. www.sdgmc.org or call (877) 296-SONG. PFLAG logo. Every month Featuring more than 30 of his best-loved and for the last six months, un- most recognizable tunes, “Let’s Misbehave!” der the membership ap- plication is the link to buy anything PFLAG related. Since it is not cost effec- MUCH TO CELEBRATE tive for PFLAG San Diego The 4th Annual San Diego Equality California combining LGBT equality with development aid to purchase shirts and Awards and Garden Party are Saturday, in emerging nations (and his pro-active stance in hats to stock them, anyone August 25 from 4:00-7:00 pm. The ceremony preventing death for gays and in Uganda). who wants items with the takes place at the Lily Award-Winning Home of PFLAGSD logo just needs Joyce Rowland and Pamela Morgan in Rancho Equality California (EQCA) is the largest to go to www.cafepress. Santa Fe. Tickets are $150. To purchase, go to statewide LGBT advocacy organization in com/pfl agsd. You will be www.eqcaawards.org. California. In partnership with other allies, amazed at the varieties of they have successfully sponsored more than t-shirts, sweatshirts, caps, Most are familiar with two of the awardees: 85 pieces of pro-equality legislation. They and do dads you can buy. Superintendent Bill Kowba/ the San Diego continue to advance equality through legislative Unifi ed School District for their Anti-Bullying advocacy, electoral work, public education, and LONDON 2012 Campaign and Albert Ogle of St. Paul’s community empowerment. Support them if you Foundation for International Reconciliation for can. There are 23 Olympic athletes and two coaches who are out. Consider- ing there were only 11 in WHERE TO BEGIN Athens (2004) and 10 in Beijing, (2008), there is The majority of you are aware of the remarks gay” groups, and bankroll efforts to allow inter- some progress in athletes made by Chick-fi l-A‘s President and Chief Op- national laws enabling the execution of LGBT being public about their erating Offi cer, Dan Cathy. The controversy people to stay in place (is this Christian-like?). sexual orientation. Sorry started after an interview with Cathy that ap- Anyone supporting Chick-fi l-A is, in essence, to report, though, statisti- peared in The Baptist Press on July 16. Dur- supporting their discriminatory practices. cally there are many more ing the interview, he weighed in with his views gay and lesbian competi- on family. “We are very much supportive of the Of course, Chick-fi l-A had record sales on Au- tors in London than those family -- the biblical defi nition of the family unit,” gust 1 when former GOP presidential candi- who are publicly out. With Cathy said. “We are a family-owned business, a dates Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum en- 12,602 athletes compet- family-led business, and we are married to our couraged people to show their support of Dan ing, just 1% of them being fi rst wives. We give God thanks for that.” He Cathy by purchasing food at Chick-fi l-A. Hucka- gay or lesbian would be went on to expound his belief in the traditional bee dubbed the day “Chick-fi l-A Appreciation 126. Hopefully, by 2016, family. If that’s the case, it seems he should be Day.” coming out for the athletes against divorced couples, divorced and remar- On August 3, the LGBT community and allies will be a non-issue. ried couples, and single parent families, all of staged a kiss-in as their form of protest. Even whom don’t fi t his defi nition of the “traditional” though the LGBT protesters did not harass peo- To Greg Louganis, 23 family. openly gay athletes is ple at the Appreciation Day, the same can’t be huge. He won gold for div- Mr. Cathy’s remarks weren’t earth shattering. said for the Chick-fi l-A supporters at the kiss-in. ing in 1984 and 1988, but After all, he was exercising his First Amend- They were literally in the faces of the kissees did not come out until 1995 ment Right. However, the real controversy and allies who were protesting the restaurant. in a landmark interview is the company’s charitable arm (WinShape) The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s larg- with Oprah Winfrey. It was which has donated over fi ve million dollars (and est gay activist group, posted a Chick-fi l-A logo one of her top-rated shows counting) to groups that openly work against on its website with a fake tagline, “We Didn’t In- and listed as one of her the LGBT community. The company’s money vent Discrimination. We Just Support It.” How “25 Most Unforget- goes to organizations who oppose same-sex appropriate. 4 table Guests.” marriage, that don’t believe in protecting LGBT youth from bullying in schools, who support “ex- CAMP ARANU’TIQ: A PLACE WHERE “ required reading for CAN BE THEMSELVES just about anyone In the May newsletter, there one not in a bunk with nine * was an article regarding Camp male to female transgender who has a heart.” Aranu’tiq. It was actually posted kids up to age 10. There was to advertise the camp to parents lots of talk of Justin Beiber, of transgender children. A web Hannah Montana and Carly site was listed and our newest Rae Jepsen in our cabin, and      !  board member, Courtney Ware, the girls became fast friends.   !       volunteered to be a counselor There was no discussion of at this unique camp, which is who was transgender and who      ! solely for transgender youth. wasn’t, because there didn’t     " She wrote of her experience: need to be. They all accepted each other and were there $      # !  " !# “This past week I had the honor to have a good time without of volunteering as a camp !    !#  !   being discriminated against or !# !   "!#   counselor for Camp Aranu’tiq, scrutinized. a weeklong overnight summer   #     !  camp for transgender and The week went by quickly and    %      gender-variant youth ages 8 was set-up like a traditional to 15. The camp was started summer camp. During the by Nick Teich who started with day the kids had fi ve periods $!    !  &    two camp sessions on the of different sports, games and            East Coast. This year was creative expression like hiking,   !     !    % the inaugural week on the rock climbing, archery, arts and     West Coast, here in Southern crafts, volleyball, canoeing, California. I received info about drama and writing. We ate $   # !  the Southern California session all our meals together in the    % of camp through PFLAG San dining room and ended each     Diego. As soon as I read the meal with camp songs. Each info, I knew I needed to apply. night we had special activities Aranu’tiq combines my two like karaoke contests, a    passions in life, working with Minute to Win It Game show, children and LGBT activism. dance parties, campfi res, and    a talent show on the last night.     Though I have worked with     children for many years, and The best part of being at camp    have been active in the LGBT was seeing the friendships    community in San Diego, I have the kids made with other   never worked with transgender kids who could relate to the youth. I was unsure of what to journey of transitioning and expect at camp, and I was a being transgender. They felt little nervous. But my nerves accepted, safe and “normal”. were quickly calmed on Sunday They could be who they were afternoon as the campers and just have fun without started to arrive and all I saw worry. I have never seen so were just kids ready to have many smiles in my life. Camp fun. Aranu’tiq is something special. There were 36 kids at camp For the last few years I have in fi ve different cabins and the been soul searching, trying to staff was a mix of transgender fi gure out where my path in For more information and non-transgender males life will take me. After Camp about Camp Aranu’tiq, and females. Every day, all of Aranu’tiq, I feel like I have visit their website: the staff and campers wore a found that path. lanyard with a nametag that camparanutiq.org had their name and preferred Aranu’tiq … a great place to be. pronoun on it. I was a cabin “I love this camp, I love this Courtney Ware counselor with two other camp, ‘cause I can be me.“ PFLAG Board Member females, one transgender and 5 -- verse from a Camp Aranu’tiq song NEXT ON THE HIT PARADE

We were pleased that members of the Ron Benzon Foundation community members must overcome were there to present the recipient of the Rob Menzon is the overpoweringly negative stigma Memorial Scholarship to Ryan Cardinale. This is the seventh associated with being gay. Our identities year the scholarship has been awarded in Rob’s memory. The are perceived as being the result of goal of selecting the awardee was to recognize a youth who hypersexuality, an immoral personal demonstrated a giving spirit and had charisma. choice, sexual abuse, and/or bad parenting. How then can my actions Ryan graduated from San Diego State University COR (Career help to enable the next generation to Opportunities in Research) Program with a BA in Psychology. overcome and thrive in the face of these He will soon enter the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, to obstacles? pursue a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. His career path, in part, was chosen by his own life experience. When he was 10 years I am pursuing a career in clinical psychology because there old, part of his temporal lobe was removed to control seizures. is a dearth of gay therapists. When parents fi nd out that their This past summer, Ryan presented his neurological surgery children think they may be gay or want to be the opposite sex, research at the University of California, to an many a time their fi rst reaction is to either send their children audience including people who had performed his surgery. to a psychologist, or visit one themselves. Most therapists Ryan feels that his best assets are that he’s gay, a Latino, and lack adequate training on sexual orientation issues and, his experiences of undergoing brain surgery at such a young as heterosexuals, are at an inherent disadvantage for fully age. Ryan’s essay: understanding what their patient is going through. Such children have likely been the victims of bullying, have experienced self- “My passage through life as a gay male has shown me that the doubt, and may have even contemplated suicide. LGBT community lacks many basic human rights guaranteed to our heterosexual counterparts. Although a number of human During my time in undergraduate my family has not been able rights issues confronting to support me fi nancially. Therefore, this scholarship will help the LGBT community have me overcome the fi nancial burden associated with pursuing been mitigated in recent higher education on my own and out of state. Once completed years, numerous disparities and in a future position, this opportunity will allow me to fi ll the still remain. These issues in void of positive successful gay role models. Moreover, once today’s society include legal practicing, I will be able to use my own life experiences as a gay rights, access to employment, male to help children overcome the negative stigma associated and the ability to adopt. with being homosexual.” The main obstacle LGBT

6 PATS ON OUR BACKS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PRIDE

Even though the number of PFLAG PFLAG San Diego was very fortunate to gussied up their unique station wagon of marchers was down this year, we, of have Jody Huckaby, Executive Director of yesteryear for the parade, Alexa Blazquez course, were one of the highlights of the PFLAG National and Cesar Hernandez, drove her SUV which clearly showed Mi 2012 Gay . Most would Western Field & Policy Manger for PFLAG, Familia power (her parents, in their 80’s, agree that THE HIGHLIGHT was the not only march with our contingent at the enjoyed the ride with Alexa), and Mariana uniformed men and women from all the parade, but also lent a hand at our booth Almaraz and Teresa Perez for having the armed services who walked proudly with at the festival. We hoped they enjoyed Mi Familia banner made. American and Pride fl ags. It was a sight themselves as much as we enjoyed A big thank you to our members and to behold. The Department of Defense having them celebrate Pride with us. friends who volunteered in setting up, allowed this to happen. “We hereby are A huge thank you to the queen of doing taking down and staffi ng our booth at the granting approval for service members almost everything single-handedly, Bobbi Pride Festival: Danielle Bauer (scholarship in uniform to participate in this year’s Harwood. Bobbi buys the merchandise recipient this year), Lonnie Brunini, Louie parade,” Rene Bardorf, deputy assistant for the PFLAG booth for the festival, is Chavez, Sherry Cohen-Richards, Nikki secretary of Defense, wrote in a letter. responsible for the booth set up/take Eddy, Gail Folkman, Jason Folkman, Judy Last year we made international news down, is the treasurer in chief for the Hyde, Greg Johnson, Lynn Kraszewski, by being the fi rst Pride Parade to have weekend, and lines up the volunteers to Lindy & Rick Miles, Dawn Miller, Arlene service members march as a contingent. work the booth (all this while smiling, of Prater, Victor Seguritan, Mary Thomas, Due to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) still course). Sandi Timberlake, Terrie Vorono, Wayne in force, they could not wear their uniforms. Walker and Courtney Ware. All did a Instead they wore their respective t-shirts Although we thank all the PFLAG booth wonderful job of enticing festival goers (Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force) to volunteers, we give special thanks to with our large selection of buttons, identify what branch they served. We, the worker bees that went the extra mile stickers, bracelets, etc. and then providing again, made international news this year (literally and fi guratively). Karen and Mark them with information about PFLAG and for having the honor of being the fi rst Gay Thompson, once again, were the parade letting them know we’re here for them. Pride Parade with a military contingent coordinators, Cheryl and Alan Goldbarg wearing their uniforms.

7 THANK YOU FROM PFLAG

Supporting Membership Book Donation Stan & Carol Bishop Lindy Miles donated an autographed copy of Providing Refreshments Transparently – BEHIND for Our Meeting THE SCENES OF A GOOD Wayne Walker LIFE by Lisa Salazar Sandi Timberlake

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“THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT THE OBJECT OF LOVE, BUT THE EMOTION ITSELF.” –Gore Vidal

Luan D. Andrews, M.A.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST MFC 19321

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