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Seder Songs Song Parodies for Your Seder from Broadway, Beatles and Beyond Cover illustration HaggadahCover from CCAR ©1923

www.passoversongparodies.com Dear Reader, elcome to the new edition of Seder Songs, a collection of song parodies to enliven your Passover celebration at , school or synagogue. This collection of songs began over 20 years ago at our family’s seder. Since then, the collection has grown to include every genre — Broadway, Beatles, oldies, country, standards, and even Gilbert and Sullivan. My husband, daughters, son-in-law and a friend who is a regular guest at our seder table have gotten into the act as lyricists. The songbook should have something for everyone, no matter what your age or musical tastes.

As the songs have multiplied, so has their reach. My sister, Randi Rose, a talented graphic designer, created the songbook several years ago with its eye catching graphics, and then created a website for it at www.barbarasarshik.com. Thanks to her efforts and word of mouth, the songbook has spread to many homes, schools and synagogues. I’m delighted, and hope that you’ll find songs to enrich your holiday.

This year we’ve re-organized the songbook to make it more user friendly. You’ll find songs organized by specific parts of the seder and themes. Each song has its own number, making it easy to designate particular songs for during your seder.

Many of the songs provide the right occasion for kids and adults to let out their inner divas. And while some lend themselves to solos, others are just right for times when it’s okay for a group to get a little raucous. Your seder will never be the same after you’ve all performed “Sweet ” to “Sweet Caroline” or “Why You Are Here” to “YMCA.” (Just move the wine glasses out of the way!) And some songs are perfect for situations we all face sooner or later. Do your kids think they’re too grown to recite the Four Questions? Just challenge them — or even your whole family — to get through the Mah nish-tanah to the tongue-twistery “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

I encourage you to share these songs with anyone who might enjoy them ­— your family, friends, religious congregation and other Jewish groups. You can give them the internet link for the songs (www.barbarasarshik.com) and make copies for everyone at your seder. These songs are available to everyone for free.

Happy Pesach, everyone!

Barbara Sarshik Passover 2013 [email protected]

www.passoversongparodies.com Page 1 Section 1 | The Seder

SECTION 1: 2. Tonight Some enchanted seder THE SEDER to the tune of “Comedy Tonight” When the door is open, from A Funny Thing Happened You may see him lope in on the Way to the Forum Across the crowded room. 1. Do You Hear And straight will he head Something historic, something caloric To one special cup, Our People Sing? Something for everyone, a matzah ball To toast our deliv’rance to the tune of “Do You Hear the People Sing?” tonight. And drink the wine up. from Les Miserables Tales that are thrilling, food that is filling Something for everyone, a matzah ball When will it happen? (Chorus) tonight. Rabbis can’t foretell. Do you hear our people sing? Waters that part, great pyramids, But it will happen, Singing “Dayeinu” and “Amen”? Bring on the yentas, kvetchers and kids. This you know full well. Telling the story of a people Something neurotic, something melodic “Next Year in Jerusalem!” Who will not be slaves again! Singing of Hebrews taking flight! That is what you’ll say then, tomorrow, matzah balls That is what you’ll say when From the shank bone to the wine tonight! Down to the final matzah crumbs, Elijah reappears. There is a night about to start Some yadda yadda from the haggaddah Till then you will wait When the seder comes! Something for everyone, a matzah ball And save him a place. tonight Each Will you join our seder now So much to question, such indigestion You hope he will grace. And have a ball with me? Something for everyone, a matzah ball Chariot of fire, We’ll tell the tale of how tonight One day it will come. Hide your brioche, throw out your bread. We all got out of slavery. Herald of Messiah, Eat and matzah instead. One day he will come! We’re happy tonight Something observant, festive and fervent That we all have the right to be free! Praise Adonai with all your might! ©2006 Steve Glickman Matzah brei tomorrow, matzah balls (Repeat Chorus) tonight! 4. We Say a Little Will you drink some kosher wine, Something enduring, see Grandpa snor- Prayer to You And eat some matzo and ? ing to the tune of “I Say a Little Prayer For You” We will talk of Hebrews dancing Something for everyone, a matzah ball tonight Tonight we are dining. On a dry and distant shore. Motzi and , Hebrew and All of us are reclining. We’ll pray for Elijah Something for everyone, a matzah ball We say a little prayer to You. To come when we open the door! tonight Tonight we are focused Prayers to be prayed, songs to be sung On boils and lice and locusts. (Repeat Chorus) Family and friends, the old and the We say a little prayer to You. © 2013 Barbara Sarshik young (Chorus) Something so Jewish, so -ish, Thank God it all turned out alright! Forever and ever Matzah brei tomorrow, matzah balls We’ll join on this night tonight! and we will love You. Together, forever © 2010 Barbara Sarshik and Andy Pike we’ll sing of Your might. Oh, how we’ll love You. Forever and ever 3. Some Enchanted Seder That’s how it must be to the tune of “Some Enchanted Evening” Because without You from None of us here would be free! Some enchanted seder While children are roamin’ You may see a stranger, In search of the Afikomen, You may see a stranger We say a little prayer to You. Across the crowded room. You gave us l’chaim And somehow you know, Bringing us from Mitzrayim. You know even then We say a little prayer to You. The prophet Elijah Has come back again. (Repeat Chorus) ©2000 Barbara Sarshik Page 2 Section 1 | The Seder

5. The Seder General Song I gently mold with my own hands each General: to the tune of “The Modern Major General matzo ball. And so as we recline and celebrate with Song” from “Pirates of Penzance” To make it light and fluffy is the most songs so lyrical, important thing of all! Let’s not forget to praise the Lord for this, (with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan) His latest miracle: All: This diff’ night from other nights, General: To make it light and fluffy is the most to run the paschal festival, I am the very model of a modern Seder important thing of all! I am the very model of a modern Seder General, To make it light and fluffy is the most General. I’ve information Biblical, liturgical and important thing of all! ritual, To make it light and fluffy is the most All: Regarding the , I’m expert in important thing of all! This diff’rent night from other nights, ev’ry area, to run the paschal festival, I know the rabbis’ names by heart, Akiva General: He is the very model of a modern Seder to Azaria, I know the is the last dessert on General. The verminous, sangui- which we sup nous, and climatical, And never sip the vintage that I pour into © 2005 Stephen H. Glickman The special blessings to be said when Elijah’s cup. Pesach is Sabbatical. About the gifts bestowed on us, I’m teem- All: What, never? ing with the Dayeinus, General: No, never! With many cheerful facts about G-d’s All: What, never? liberation of the ! General: Well, hardly ever! I hardly ever sip the vintage poured into All: Elijah’s cup. With many cheerful facts about G-d’s In short, in matters oenological and gus- liberation of the Jews! tatorial With many cheerful facts about G-d’s I am the very model of a modern Seder liberation of the Jews! 6. Think of Me General. to the tune of “Think of Me” With many cheerful facts about G-d’s from Phantom of the Opera liberation of the Jews! All: In short, in matters oenological and gus- Think of me when you explain just what General: tatorial the matzah means. I’m very good at answering the child He is the very model of a modern Seder Remember me when you combine salt inquisitorial, General. water with your greens. I recreate for Passover Think of how your lives would be today if memorial. General: you were still in slavery. In short, in matters Biblical, liturgical I studied Torah very hard to reach the When you’re sitting at your seder, spare a and ritual, highest pinnacle, thought for me. I am the very model of a modern Seder But my yeshiva time was brief, my train- General. Think of me when you are drinking your ing non-rabbinical. four cups of wine. In fact, my education has a gap that is All: Think of me during Dayenu and when unfillable – In short, in matters Biblical, liturgical you recline. Of Hebrew I am ignorant and compre- and ritual, Think of how you sang with Miriam hend no syllable. He is the very model of a modern Seder along the shores of the Red Sea. For one who leads the service I suppose it General. When you’re sitting at your seder, stop is heretical, and think of me. All: But I admit my diction is entirely pho- Think of manna dropping in your hand. I specialize in knowing the ingredients netical And think of how you reached the on which we dine, My method of enunciation is trans-lit-er- Promised Land. Unleavened bread and bitter herbs, haro- a-ti-on, My cantorial baritone is mere an-gli-ci- set and four cups of wine. Think of me when you recall why you za-ti-on! I know that hard boiled eggs with salt are observe this night. better than a rich soufflé, All: Think of me. Love me with all your heart, And much prefer the Concord grape to His cantorial baritone is mere an-gli-ci- your soul, your might. California cabernet. za-ti-on! Because of all the things I did for you I deprecate tabasco sauce as substitute for His cantorial baritone is mere an-gli-ci- when you were in captivity, horse , za-ti-on! There should never be a time when you And know it is not kosher to use crab His cantorial baritone is mere an-gli-ci- don’t think of me. cakes for . za-ti-on! ©2005 Barbara Sarshik Page 3 Section 1 – 2 | Seder – Sanctifying God’s Name

7. Need You Now (The God is better than brawny and brainy. Perfect, a pure paragon. 20-Something Song) God can make any dry desert rainy to the tune of “Need You Now” And can topple the throne Pharaoh’s by Lady Antebellum sitting upon. (20-something) God can make a cow sick, I moved out on my own Make the lice come real quick. Thinking I could do it all. God can make a big snake come from You told me that you loved me, Moses’ stick. And please don’t forget to call. God’s especially good at emancipating! And I know I could just Google this Three for God, Adonai! online but I’m running out of time! ©2008 Barbara Sarshik It’s a quarter after five, the guests will come at six 10. Adonai And I need you now. to the tune of “Barbara Ann” The matzah balls are small, and the 8. Say a Real Big Prayer by soup’s not cooked at all to the tune of “When I Saw Her Standing Ah ah ah, ah Adonai. And I need you now. There” by Ah ah ah, ah Adonai. And I don’t know when to take the bris- I’m gonna eat something green. Ah ah ah, ah Adonai. ket out, And you know what I mean. Adonai! I just need you now. Take a bitter herb and lean back in my (Mom of 20-something) chair. we were slaves Building Pharaoh’s grave. Folded paper place cards I’ll open the door for Elijah . . . woo, And I’ll say a real big prayer. Moses came along and he said we’d all Scattered all around the floor. be saved Dad’s not home from work yet, Well, once you and me, By Adonai The table’s propped against the door. Were stuck in slavery. And I wonder how I’ll set this up alone And that mean old Pharaoh didn’t seem (Chorus) Without my baby here at home. to care. Ah ah, ah Adonai It’s a quarter after five, the guests will God brought us out of Mitzrayim . . . Adonai, Ah ah, ah Adonai. come at six woo, You’ve got us rockin’ and a-rollin’ And I need you now. So we say a real big prayer. Rockin’ and a-reelin’ Eggs and greens are nowhere to Well, our hearts went “wheeeeeee!” Adonai, Ah ah, ah Adonai. be seen, As we crossed that sea Walking in the sand And I need you now. And we all were free and fi-eeeeen! And I need to practice all the prayers out To the promised land loud, Now on this Pesach night Any time we’re hungry I just need you now. We recall our people’s plight there is manna in our hands And we say that God is way beyond com- From Adonai (20-something) pare. (Repeat Chorus) Guess there’s still some things I need my We’ll never pray to another . . . woo, mom’s help for … When we say a real big prayer. Moses went up high Climbed up Mount Sinai It’s a quarter after five, the guests will ©2002 Barbara Sarshik Brought back Ten Commandments come at six that he said we oughta try And I need you now. From Adonai The matzah balls are small, and the SECTION 2: soup’s not cooked at all SANCTIFYING GOD’S NAME (Repeat Chorus) And I need you now. And I don’t know when to take the bris- Additional songs to sing with this No more time to play ket out, section are Songs 4 and 6. On this special day. I just need you now. Gather round the table cause it’s time for us to pray © Leah Pike 2011 9. Ode to Adonai To Adonai to the tune of “Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast (Repeat Chorus) No one sees like our God ©2007 Barbara Sarshik No one frees like our God No one issues almighty decrees like our God Page 4 Section 2 – 4 | Sanctifying God’s Name – Washing Hands

11. I Am What I Am (Chorus) 15. Sweet Kosher Wine to the tune of “I Am What I Am” Tonight we thank God for our answered to the tune of “Sweet Caroline” from La Cage Aux Folles prayers by Remember when you’re talking to the I am what I am. Adonai said, “I never will forget you. man upstairs. I am your own special Creator. I will make Pharaoh set you free.” That He brought us from Egypt and I set you all free. Now here we are, drinking the wine we showed us He cares So think of me at your next seder. savor Some of God’s greatest gifts are our As we recall our slavery. It’s my choice answered prayers. Sending Moses in your desperate hour, Tonight we taste salt water, bitter herbs (Chorus) My voice and greens. Hands…pouring wine, Moses used when he spoke truth to We talk about our freedom and what it Reaching out, red for me, white for you. power. really means. Sweet kosher wine, Eat your paschal lamb And we talk about the old days, there is You make seders seem so good Instead of ham. so much to recall. (so good, so good, so good) Because I am what I am! I guess the Lord knows what He’s doing We all recline after all. And we drink you like we should. © 2012 Barbara Sarshik And I think of long ago, the slavery and Adonai said, “If you can learn to trust me 12. All We Ask of You strife. Then in the end you’ll just be fine.” to the tune of “” And here and now I thank the good Lord Now here we are, all of these long years from Phantom of the Opera for the gifts in my life. later (Repeat chorus) Drinking our favorite seder wine. Lead us from Mitzrayim. Make Pharaoh set us free. © 2016 Barbara Sarshik (Repeat chorus) No chains or whips to bind us, © 2012 Barbara Sarshik Our troubles far behind us. Part the Red Sea waters. SECTION 3: SECTION 4: WASHING HANDS Drop manna from the sky. KIDDUSH OVER WINE Do this, oh Eloheinu, 16. I Want to Wash And we will sing Dayenu! 14. Manischewitz Wine My Hands Bless our people with your Ten Advice for wine lovers to the tune of “Music of to the tune of “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by Commandments. the Night” from Phantom of the Opera The Beatles Guide our footsteps to the Promised Land. Bordeaux, Merlot, Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something Let our people live in peace forever. they are so delicious It’s one of God’s commands Favor us in everything we do. But they do not go with Pesach dishes. When you start the Seder Dear God . . .That’s all we ask of You. Now it’s time to savor You need to wash your hands A sweet, nostalgic flavor You need to wash your hands ©2009 Barbara Sarshik So when we drink, there’s just one You need to wash your hands bottom line— 13. Our Answered Prayers Tonight we drink the Manischewitz Oh my what a feeling (to the tune of “Unanswered Prayers” by wine! Before the paschal lamb Garth Brooks) And yes it’s appealing Bless it, sip it when I want to wash my hands Here we are tonight. We’re all glad that you’re at your seder. I want to wash my hands Moses came Save the high priced I want to wash my hands Walking through the desert when a bush wine for some time burst into flame. later. And we wash them when we say And as we tell the story, the past comes There is no escape the Barchu back to me From a cup of I pass the bowl around and say And I can’t help but think of the way Concord grape. On to you, on to you, on to you things used to be. Pour a big one for Yeah, You got us praying Elijah and recline – To reach the Promised Land We were in Egypt. We were stuck in Tonight he’ll drink Hear this we’re conveying slavery. the Manischewitz We want to wash our hands And each night we’d spend praying that wine! God would set us free. We want to wash our hands And if He’d only grant us the prayer we ©2009 Barbara Sarshik We want to wash our hands prayed back then, ©2013 David Vanca and Lizzy Pike We’d sing Dayenu and we’d say “Amen.” Page 5 Section 4 – 7a | Matzah – Story: Slavery

SECTION 5: 17. Are You Ready for Passover Fare? to the tune of “Are You Going to Scarborough Fair?” by Simon and Garfunkel Are you ready for Passover fare?* Parsley, egg, charoses and wine. We’ll dip our greens and say a sweet prayer. The ’s gonna bake, bake, bake, S’phardic Jews think it’s nice to eat green Just lean back. Tonight we recline. bake, bake, beans and And my belly’s gonna ache, ache, ache, With their matzah, *For those who follow the practice of placing ache, ache, say we should stay far an orange on the seder plate, the first line can But you know I won’t forsake, sake, sake, away from those foods. be changed to “Orange you ready for Passover sake, sake... any bite, any bite. Keeping track of the rules is so crazy that fare?” you could just plotz-a! I know why I recline, But one food’s always right on this © 2013 Andy Pike And I drink four cups of wine, Passover night, On this Jewish holiday (mm-mm). That’s a matzah! SECTION 6: This Jewish holiday (mm-mm). BREAK THE MIDDLE MATZAH The Hagaddah that we read, ©2007 Barbara Sarshik The afikomen that we seek, On this Jewish holiday (mm-mm). 18. Break It Off This Jewish holiday (mm-mm). 20. Ode to Schmura Matzo to the tune of “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift And I’ll keep proving, to the tune of “Hurray for Captain Spaulding” by Groucho Marx ’s oh-so-sweet! As I do my Jew thing, Maror’s a bitter treat. It’s like I’ve got Mitzrayim We love to eat the schmura It’s on the seder plate (mm-mm). In my mind, saying it’s gonna be alright. Here in the “di-as-por-ra” It’s on the seder plate (mm-mm). It’s something we ador-a Leave Elijah’s cup alone. Middle matzah’s gonna break, break, Today, today, today! The egg and the shank bone, break, break, break, © Andy Pike, 2008 They’re on the seder plate (mm-mm). The gefilte fish will flake, flake, flake, On the seder plate (mm-mm). flake, flake, But you know I won’t forsake, sake, sake, SECTION 7: And I’ll keep proving, sake, sake… any bite, any bite. As I do my Jew thing, The brisket’s gonna bake, bake, bake, TELLING THE STORY It’s like I’ve got Mitzrayim bake, bake, In my mind, saying it’s gonna be alright. And my belly’s gonna ache, ache, ache, 7a: SLAVERY ache, ache, Middle matzah’s gonna break, break, But you know I won’t forsake, sake, sake, 21. You Belong to Me break, break, break, sake, sake… any bite, any bite. to the tune of “You Belong to Me” The gefilte fish will flake, flake, flake, Build the pyramids along the Nile. flake, flake, © 2015 Lizzy Pike and David Vanca Let me reach the afterlife in style. But you know I won’t forsake, sake, sake, Just remember, darling, all the while sake, sake... any bite, any bite. 19. That’s A Matzah You belong to me. to the tune of “That’s Amore” You will never get to disappear. as performed by Dean Martin You will always have an overseer When your bread doesn’t bake Filling up your life with pain and fear. and it’s not a mistake, You belong to me. That’s a matzah! When it breaks in your hand I’d be so alone without you. just like hard grains of sand, I will never choose to lose my Jews. That’s a matzah! Here’s some mortar you can use to mix We recline . . . and we talk about Moses. Lots and lots of piles of two-ton bricks. We drink wine . . . and eat lots of I will not give in to your God’s tricks. You belong to me. charoses. ©2007 Barbara Sarshik Page 6 Section 7a | Story: Slavery

22. Pharaoh, You Must 24. Ruler of the Universe Let My People Go to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera” to the tune of “Colors of the Wind” You saw a desert bush burst into flame. from Pocahontas You heard my booming voice call out You think the land and everyone who your name. lands here Don’t try to run away. You’ll only find Are nothing more than things that you The Ru-ler of the Universe is there inside control. your mind! But I am here to tell you every person 23. Can’t Take My Now, Moses, you must march to Is a person with a heart and with a soul. Whips Off of You Pharaoh’s throne. You think the only people who are people to the tune of “Can’t Take My Eyes No need to be afraid. You’re not alone. Are the people who pray the way you do. Off of You” as performed by the My power and your voice are one But listen to a family chant “Ha Motzi.” Four Seasons (Jersey Boys) combined. The Ru-ler of the Universe is there inside You will hear the spirit deep in every Jew. You’re such a hard working Jew. your mind! Can’t take my whips off of you. (Chorus) Go eat some leaven for lunch. ©2009 Barbara Sarshik Have you ever seen a Hebrew standing You Jews are such an odd bunch! tall and proud? Your first born sons can’t survive. Or felt the winds of freedom start to But I thank gods you’re alive. 25. When You Are Free blow? You’re just a hard work working Jew. to the tune of “When You’re a Jet” Have you ever heard the voice of the Can’t take my whips off you. from West Side Story Almighty When you are free, Pardon the way that I act. Saying, “Pharaoh, you must let my people You’ll be free all the way. But you must know it’s a fact. go.” Let the pharaoh decree! Every new slave that I own Saying, “Pharaoh, you must let my people You won’t have to obey. go.” Helps me to prop up my throne. I’ll never let you go free. When you are free, I know that I could hold the golden scep- You’ll never cross the Red Sea. You won’t suffer the lash. ter. You’re such a hard working Jew. When you do a day’s work, And I could sit so coldly on the throne. Can’t take my whips off of you. You will get a day’s cash. And I could open up the door to riches If I close my eyes to all the slaves you I own you Hebrews, and if it’s quite Imagine your life as something you can own. alright sweeten . . . I need you Hebrews, to work all day and Imagine a life in which you’re never The beaten and the broken are my broth- night. beaten ers. I own you Hebrews. Trust in me when I By some cretin! The lonely and low-born are my friends. say. And we are all connected to each other Hard working Hebrews, no matter how When you are free, By a covenant with God that never ends. you pray, You will not be a slave The God you pray to won’t let you run Wishing that you could be (Repeat chorus) away. Independent and brave. How much can your misery grow? Oh, let me own you, Hebrews, When you are free, Set them free and you’ll never know. Let me own you. You won’t cower in fear. You’ll be free to fly high (Repeat chorus) You’re such a hard working Jew. Or fall flat on your rear. ©2008 Barbara Sarshik ©Barbara Sarshik 2010 Now listen to me, and hear what I am saying . . . When you are free, your people will be playing, Not oy vaying! When you are free, You can summon the nerve To say, “Hey, look at me! Give me what I deserve.” When you are free, You will be free! ©2007 Barbara Sarshik Page 7 Section 7a – 7b | Story: Slavery – Moses

26. Anything Goes 29. Close to You to the tune of “Anything Goes” by Cole Porter to the tune of “Close to You” In olden days when Pharaoh thundered, as performed by the Carpenters The Hebrews in slav’ry wondered, Why do I hear You call my name Does Heaven know? When a bush bursts in flame? When can we go? Can’t You see I’m scared to be Close to You? A man arose, his name was Moses, 28. Master of the Jews What do you suppose his news was? to the tune of “Master of the House” Why do I tremble when You call? To end our woe, from Les Miserables I grow weak. I feel small. It was time to go! (sung by the Hebrews) Can’t You see I’m scared to be Close to You? ’Twas under the burning tree Master of the Jews, giving us a push. Moses came to be Sure that God is hiding in a burning On the day that I was born Man of liberty bush. My mother placed me in a little boat Who would help us flee Here another frog, there a little lice. And floated me along the Nile. ’Cross the ruddy sea Thinking Pharaoh’s gonna follow his Then the Pharaoh’s daughter rescued me So miraculously. advice. And that’s the day that I began to smile. Say goodbye to old Pharaoh! If we do as Moses tells us, all of us will surely lose. I will sit on a royal throne What God proposes, man disposes. Heading to disaster following the Master If You leave me alone. The story of Moses shows us of the Jews. Hear my plea. Don’t make me be That, Heaven knows, Close to You. Anything goes! Water from a stone, manna from the sky. Everything he promises is just a lie. ©2005 Barbara Sarshik ©2007 Steve Glickman We will all be lost. It will be a mess 30. Moses Wandering the desert without G.P.S. to the tune of “Sherry” as performed by the 7b: MOSES Can’t you see the front page headlines? Four Seasons (Jersey Boys) We’ll be on the late night news. 27. A Like That Meeting with disaster following the Moses, Moses baby Master of the Jews. Moses, Moses baby to the tune of “A Boy Like That” from West Side Story (sung by the Pharaoh’s daughter) Mo-o-oses baby Moses, you must clear out tonight The Haggadah tells us that Pharaoh’s daugh- I used to dream that I would raise a (Clear, clear, clear out tonight) ter took baby Moses out of the bulrushes. , What we don’t know is how people around her But gods almighty, have you seen what Mo-o-oses baby felt about it at the time. This song imagines happened since? Moses, you must clear out tonight (Clear out tonight) what her servants might have told her. It is Master of the Jews — just a rotten kid! recommended for divas who want a big solo. Can’t he see we need another pyramid? Why don’t you clear out, clear out in a A boy like that is just a Jew boy. Foolish little man, doesn’t Moses know boat Forget that boy, and find a new boy. Pharaoh’s never gonna let the Hebrews Clear out, clear out, down the Nile you’ll Stick to your own kind, go. float. One of your own kind! What a cruel trick of nature! This is not Clear out, clear out, you’ll drift the night the son I’d choose. away. A boy like that will not be loyal. Once a Hebrew bastard, now he is the And God will make you fi-yi-yi-yine. Don’t raise him up as if he’s royal. Master of the Jews. Stick to your own kind, You better kiss your momma. One of your own kind! (sung by the Hebrews) Tell her everything is alright. A boy like that causes fights. Master of the Jews — isn’t that a laugh? Mo-o-oses baby He’ll dream that slaves should have rights. We’d be better worshiping a golden calf. Moses, you must clear out tonight. He’ll take his dreams Telling us to pack, telling us to flee, © Barbara Sarshik 2010 And fill their heads Promising that God will end our slavery. And break your heart! Holding out the hope of freedom, saying Very smart, my princess, very smart! that it’s ours to choose. Heading to disaster quick — Hey, don’t A boy like that wants one thing only. the Pharaoh’s cows look sick? – He’ll free the slaves and leave you lonely. Heading to disaster following the Master Stick to your own kind, of the Jews. One of your own kind! ©2006 Barbara Sarshik © Barbara Sarshik 2004 Page 8 Section 7b –7c | Story: Moses – Leaving Egypt

31. Why You Are Here (Bridge) (Both) to the tune of “YMCA” We’ll eat matzo. The two of us will go tell Pharaoh, We’ll drink wine ’til we burst! “Let my people go.” Moses, it is me in the bush. I said Pure de-lir-ium, We know exactly what we’ll do if Moses, well, you just need a push. I said Led by the singing of Mir-iam. Pharaoh tells us no. Moses, just a whack on the tush, And you’ll make your people happy. Play a harp! Ring a bell! We’ll warn him of the plagues that God ’Cause we’re traveling to Yis-ra-el! will bring. Moses, you’ve been lucky from birth. I Pack your bags! Grab a map! Oh, we’re both gonna go to the king! said ‘Cause now everything’s coming up Moses, you were put on this earth. I said Moses! We’ll be saying, “Do this.” Moses, you can show what you’re worth, We’ll be saying, “See them.” You can make your people happy. (Second bridge) We’ll be saying, “Stop that.” Frogs, lice, locusts, We’ll be saying, “Free them.” (Chorus) Slaying of the first born. “Have respect for every living thing. I want to tell you now Say a prayer, “Oh, Pharaoh, don’t be such a dingaling.” Why You Are Here. Thanks, God, for vanquishing Pharaoh!” Now this will be our final time to sing: I want to tell you now Oh, we’re both gonna go to the king! Why You Are Here. Not by luck or the sword. He’s done everything just to ruin their No, we all owe our lives to the Lord. ©2008 Barbara Sarshik joy. Say a prayer! Sing a song! He has taken their first born boys. Make it loud! Make it long! I want to tell you now A-do-noy yeem-loch L’o-lam va-ed! 7c: LEAVING EGYPT Why You Are Here. ’Cause now everything’s coming up I want to tell you now Moses 34. You Must Let Why You Are Here. Just like God has said! My People Go Moses, don’t be a schmo. ©2001 Barbara Sarshik To the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain” When the Pharaoh says no, tell him from the Wizard of Oz Let all my people go. 33. I Just Can’t Go to the King I have come to tell you clearly Moses, all your people are slaves, I said to the tune of “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” To let you know sincerely Moses, and they have to be saved, I said from The Lion King My people suffer so. Moses, you will have to be brave. God has sent me to order You can make your people happy. (Moses) Stop the bricks and the mortar I’m gonna see a mighty king. You must let my people go. Moses, soon your people will be. I said I’m feeling mighty scared. Moses, they’ll be happy and free. I said If you don’t let them skedaddle, Moses, they will cross the Red Sea. (Aaron) You’ll have some real sick cattle You can make your people happy. Well, Moses, I’ll be there with you And a frog will bite your toe. So you’ll be well prepared. All the common folks and royals (Repeat Chorus) (Moses) Will be breaking out in boils. ©1997 Barbara Sarshik You must let my people go. I’ve never been with words. I stutter and I squeak. Right now we’re in a mess. My hands are wet, my throat is dry But this is just a phase. Each time I try to speak. God will bring the Hebrew people better (Aaron) days And, Pharaoh, you will change your Well, Moses, don’t be scared about a ways. 32. Everything’s thing. Coming Up Moses (Moses) You’re afraid that the Egyptians to the tune of “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” Oh, I just can’t go to the king! Will have some big conniptions from Gypsy I’ll be saying, “Do this.” If you change the status quo. In the end, you’ll have to do it Bang a drum! Spread the news! I’ll be saying, “See them.” I’ll be saying, “Stop that.” So you might as well get to it. Things are looking real good for the Jews! You must let my people go. We’ve escaped! We’re alive! I’ll be saying, “Free them. And now everything’s coming up Moses! Free them all to leave today. ©2009 Barbara Sarshik Free them all to live God’s way.” We were slaves. Now we’re free. (Aaron) ’Cause we made it across The Red Sea. The Pharaoh needs to know he needs to No more whips! No more bricks! Have a change of heart. And now everything’s coming up Moses! Or God will make his cows get sick And make the Red Sea part. Page 9 Section 7c | Story: Leaving Egypt

So Moses said, I’ve seen the way a bush can burn. And Adonai has told me that the Jews are my concern. So if you listen closely, I believe that you will learn About the Fifty Ways to Leave Mitzrayim. 35. Bye Bye Egypt 37. Goodbye, Goodbye, Fifty Ways to Leave Mitzrayim. to the tune of “Mickey Mouse Club” Mitzrayim! (Chorus) Now it’s time to celebrate to the tune of “To Life!” Don’t move a brick, Rick, The end of slavery. from Make sure to pray, , B-Y-E-B-Y-E E-G-Y-P-T Goodbye, goodbye, Mitzrayim! Bring on a plague, Gregg, Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there Mitzrayim, Mitzrayim, goodbye! Listen to me. We’re as happy as can be. We’re sick of building the pyramids, B-Y-E-B-Y-E E-G-Y-P-T Leave in the night, Dwight, Losing our first born kids. Don’t wait for the bread, Ned, Say goodbye! So Mitzrayim, goodbye! Cross the Red Sea, Lee, Say goodbye! To us and our good fortune! And get yourself free. Forever let us hold our banner To Moses and to Adonai! High! Chai! Chai! Chai! Moses continued, We can flee our evil Say adios to the overseer. foe. Come along and sing a song We’re getting out of here. And Adonai will lead us to the land To show that we are free! So Mitzrayim, goodbye! where we can go. B-Y-E (Eat your matzah!) God told Moses, “There’s a simple mes- So pack your matzah quickly if you really B-Y-E (Elijah’s coming!) sage want to know E-G-Y-P-T That the Pharaoh really needs to know. About the Fifty Ways to Leave Mitzrayim. ©2008 Barbara Sarshik Take your rod and take your brother Aaron. Fifty Ways to Leave Mitzrayim. Tell the Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go.’” 36. Will We Be (Chorus) To us and our good fortune! Don’t move a brick, Rick, Leaving Mitzrayim? To Moses and to Adonai! Make sure to pray, Ray, to the tune of “Will You Still Love Me Say adios to the overseer. Bring on a plague, Gregg, Tomorrow?” by Carole King We’re getting out of here. Listen to me. Tonight my back is breaking. So Mitzrayim, goodbye! My arms and legs are aching. Leave in the night, Dwight, Tonight I cry in pain and misery, ©2005 Barbara Sarshik Don’t wait for the bread, Ned, Will we be leaving Mitzrayim? Cross the Red Sea, Lee, And get yourself free. I need to know if Your love 38. Fifty Ways to © Barbara Sarshik 2004 Is love I can be sure of. Leave Mitzrayim Can I believe my people will be free? to the tune of Will we be leaving Mitzrayim? “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” 39. Mitzrayim In My Mind to the tune of “Carolina in My Mind” Tonight some guy named Moses We build the pyramids. We live in pain by James Taylor Tells us that You’re the only one. and fear. He says when this night closes We’re beaten and we’re bullied by the In my mind I’m running from We’ll be free in the morning sun. brutal overseer. Mitzrayim. So Moses, can you help us, cause we Can’t you feel the freedom? Is Moses just a schemer? really need to hear Can’t you just taste the manna? Is he a foolish dreamer? About the Fifty Ways to Leave Ain’t it just like an overseer to hit me So tell me now and I won’t ask again. Mitzrayim. from behind? Will we be leaving Mitzrayim? Fifty Ways to Leave Mitzrayim. Yes, I’m running from Mitzrayim in my © Barbara Sarshik 2010 mind. © Barbara Sarshik 2010 Page 10 Section 7c - 7d | Story: Leaving Egypt – Crossing the Sea

40. The Gambler The Lord will free you from your pain, 43. One to the tune of “The Gambler” The whip, the chain. to the tune of “One” from Chorus Line as performed by Have faith, and you’ll all be happy later. Hey, Jews, your tales from days of old One singular sensation, On a warm desert evenin’, we were slaves will all be told God’s the only God for me. to the Pharaoh. By all your descendants at their seder. One author of creation The cards had all been dealt and we were Da da da da da Op’ning up the Red Sea. on a losin’ streak. Da da da da. One God who’s always been there Then Moses came up to us and told us to take care of us. God had sent him. Hey, Jews, don’t be afraid. One God who’s guiding us The night grew deathly quiet as he began You were made to all through the Exodus! to speak. Escape Mitzrayim. In Sinai, the Lord will help you to live One thing that we have learned is He said, “God has seen the tears rollin’ And He will give you all some mayim God is not a golden cow. down your faces Mayim, mayim, mayim, mayim, When we stop to think of I and thou, And God has sent me here to give you all mayim, mayim, oh. Wow! a helpin’ hand. Da da da da da da da One God! We are always loyal. So if you don’t mind my sayin’, I can see Da da da da you’re out of aces. We will even use the mohel. Hey, Jews. God’s the one. But rest assured that God will help you (Repeat and fade) reach the Promised Land.” ©2007 Barbara Sarshik ©2002 Barbara Sarshik (Chorus) You’ve got to know when to flee now. 7d: CROSSING THE SEA Know when you’re free now. Know when to walk away Know when to run. 42. Into the Sea to the tune of “” You never bake your bread. from Into the Woods When it’s time to flee the Pharaoh There’ll be time for bread to leaven Into the sea, where Adonai When the fleein’s done. Has promised that the land is dry. Moses is here and he’s the guy We packed our half-baked bread, and 44. The Best of Times Is Now To guide us on our journey. to the tune of “The Best of Times Is Now” then we fled from Pharaoh. from La Cage Aux Folles We got away while Pharaoh and his men Into the sea— We can’t deny were fast asleep. The trip we take can terrify. (Celebrating freedom with Miriam And somewhere in the darkness, I heard Will we be free or will we die on the shores of the Red Sea) a voice from heaven. Before we start our journey? The best of times is now. And in those final words I found an ace The way is clear. What’s left of slavery is vanquished foes. that I could keep. We have our guide. The best of times is now. (Repeat chorus) So have no fear. As for the Promised Land, who knows? God will provide. (Who knows? Who knows?) © Barbara Sarshik 2011 The sand is up ahead. The soldiers are behind. Give praise to Adonai. I really hate to ask it, And sing and dance as hard as you know 41. Hey Jews But will I need a casket? how. Grab manna from the sky to the tune of “Hey Jude” by the Beatles Into the sea— We have no bread. Because the best of times is now. Hey, Jews, don’t be afraid. The time was tight, and so we fled. You were made to Moses has said we’ll all be fed Now…Mitzrayim is so yesterday! Escape Mitzrayim. As we head on our journey. Now…the Promised Land is far away! In Sinai, the Lord will help you to live When times ahead grow tough, And He will give you all some mayim. Into the sea— We don’t know how But we agree the time is now. We’ll all be worshiping a golden cow! Hey, Jews, it’s time to start. Later we’ll build a golden cow Tonight just strut your stuff God will part all To guide us on our journey. Because the best of times is now The Red Sea waters. (is now, is now.) Into the sea! And out of the sea! Remember, pack matzah and be real © 2012 Barbara Sarshik brave. Into the sea! And out of the sea! God’s gonna save your sons and daugh- And home before dark! ters. ©2007 Barbara Sarshik Page 11 Section 7d – 7f: Story: Crossing the Sea – Desert

45. We’ll Cross the Sea ’Twas Miriam made sure that his Hebrew 7f: DESERT to the tune of “Under the Sea” he learned, from The Little Mermaid So Moses was ready for the Bush when it 47. Song on the Sand burned. to the tune of “Song on the Sand” You think that we all are stuck here The Bush said to Moses, “This is no from La Cage Aux Folles You think that we have no choice delirium— We work in the sand and muck here Just do what I say — and pay attention to I heard But what if we raise our voice? Miriam!” La da da da Just trust that our God will save us da da da And we can run far away (Repeat chorus) As we walked on the sand. Where nobody will enslave us I heard The desert was dry and the sun sure was So come with me, don’t delay! La da da da hot, I believe (Chorus) They were hungry and tired and their feet We were singing dayeinu. hurt a lot. We’ll cross the sea Four decades they wandered without a In the heat of the sun, We’ll cross the sea correction, I could tell that the words were Life will be better ’Cause Moses would not stop and ask for religious; They will get wetter direction. Something about freedom, Than you and me Something about Torah. Back on this side we’ll slave away Their bread was unleavened, they wanted But over there we all can play to cry, Though the years race along, So if you dare-o So Miriam whipped up a fine matzoh I still think of our song on the sand. Run from this pharaoh brei. And on these Pesach days We’ll cross the sea The people were thirsty, they said it was I still take time to praise hell, Eloheinu ©2008 Leah Pike And they drank all the water in Miriam’s Well. Though the time tumbles by I remember Mitzrayim … Miriam told Moses, you see our dismay, And the captivity. We can’t stand this desert one more night or day. I hear For her sass she was punished and turned La da da da da da da snowy white. da da da da da da But Moses was sorry, and God made it And I’m happy and free! right. ©2012 Barbara Sarshik 7e: MIRIAM (Repeat chorus) 48. A Whole New World 46. Sweet Miriam When they came to the Red Sea and there they did wait, to the tune of “A Whole New World” from Goshen Pharaoh’s army behind them was yelling from Aladdin to the tune of “Sweet Betsy from Pike” with hate. God will show us the way Did you ever hear tell of Sweet Miriam To a place way out yonder. Said Miriam to Moses, “Don’t worry, from Goshen? Forty years we’ll be wandering don’t fret, Who crossed the wide Sinai in the Until we find our dream. Just follow me through and we will not Exodus motion? get wet!” God will give us the land. Moses, her brother, has garnered more God will feed us with manna. fame, Then Miriam brought out her timbrel We will see that we can escape But Miriam’s important, so remember with glee, Our lives in Mitzrayim. her name. And she sang to the women, “This means we are free!” A whole new world… (Chorus) So the point of this story of Moses’ sib Where we won’t live in slavery. Dayeinu, dayeinu, dayeinu, dayei! Is: the God of the Hebrews was pro- No one to tell us no, Dayeinu, dayeinu, dayeinu, dayei! Women’s Lib! The Jews can’t go, Or say we’re only dreaming. Her story begins on the banks of the (Repeat chorus) Nile, A whole new world… Where little boy Moses was floating a ©Steve Glickman 2009 A place where everyone is free. while. A whole new point of view Miriam saw him adrift in the water For every Jew. And guided his basket to Pharaoh’s Travel to a whole new world with me. young daughter. ©2008 Barbara Sarshik Page 12 Section7f – 7g: Story: Desert – Israel

49. Sinai to the tune of “My Guy” as performed by Mary Wells Moses says it’s time To start on the climb up Sinai. When he’s way up high He’ll meet with Adonai on Sinai. Well, our God is a superstar And when it comes to being chosen, we are! Now I’m with Adonai There’s not a mountain nowhere 51. Free to the tune of “Free” Up on Mount Sinai That ever can compare with Sinai. as performed by the Zac Brown Band God’s gonna keep us alive. The folks down below Far from all the crowds So we will walk along the sand They just need to know He’ll be high up in the clouds on Sinai. Heading to the promised land You’re gonna help us survive. Look at all we’ll know Me and you. So give us some rules When he comes back down below from We’ll eat manna from the sky We’ll prove we’re not fools Sinai We’ll sing songs to Adonai I’ll walk down below with my staff. We’ll love the Lord and keep Dayeinu. Show us the way We’ll follow every “Thou shalt not.” (Chorus) And we’ll all do as You say There’s not a mountain nowhere And melt down that old golden calf! That ever can compare with Sinai. Just as free Free as we’ll ever be (Repeat chorus) ©2009 Barbara Sarshik Just as free Free as we’ll ever be © Leah Pike 2011 50. We’re Sick of the Sand and ever — be and the Sun No, we don’t have a lot of manna 7g: ISRAEL to the tune of “You Can’t Get a Man With (repeat 6 more times) a Gun” from Get Your Gun All we need is God. 53. Woodstock These days of exploring have gotten old (Repeat chorus) to the tune of “Woodstock” and boring. © Barbara Sarshik 2011 by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Youong We are not having any fun. I came upon the tribes of God Though our old life was terrible, They were walking near Jericho. it might have been “pre-ferrible.” 52. Friends in Low Places And I asked them, where are you going We are sick of the sand and the sun. to the tune of “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks And this they told me. At least in Mitzrayim, we all had lots of We’re going on up to Yis-ra-el mayim. Blame it all on Pharaoh After forty years in the sand. There was water for everyone. When he just said no, We’re gonna find the promised land But out here where it’s drier, we feel like Our treatment would not be fair. We’re gonna get our souls free. we’re on fire. I was the first one to know We are sick of the sand and the sun. We just had to go We just couldn’t stay there. (Chorus) Sand and sun! Sand and sun! And I saw the surprise We are free now. We are sick of the sand and the sun! And fear in their eyes We are holy. When the water started to spread And we’ve got to get ourselves When we’re reminiscing about the things I turned to gloat, Back to the garden. we’re missing, Said you may need a big boat, We regret that we chose to run. Or you all will end up real dead! By the time we crossed the Red Sea Cause we all hate to wander to God We were near three million strong knows where out yonder. (Chorus) And everywhere there was song Though we’re no longer bossed, And a celebration. Oh, I’ve got friends in low places There’s a cost to being lost, I can see the doubt on their faces We are sick of the sand and the sun! And I dreamed I saw the manna But we’ll be ok, Fall like raindrops from the sky ©2007 Barbara Sarshik I know we’ll find a way. And it was dropped by Adonai We’ll all sing Adonai’s praises To feed our nation. If we ever reach that oasis, Oh, I’ve got friends in low places. (Repeat chorus) © Barbara Sarshik 2010 Page 13 Section 7g – 9: Israel – Plagues

54. The Land Where There is a time when older kids complain I’m paying the price they’re too mature. in locusts and lice. We’ll Live They do not want to chant the Mah It’s just what I get to the tune of “The Street Where She Lives” Nishtanah any more. for not being nice. from My Fair Lady But here is something you can do when Let the Hebrews go free. I have never walked on this sand before. older kids complain: They’re nothing to me. I have never felt this manna in my hand Just try to chant the Mah Nishtanah to a They’ll only be stuck before. new refrain. when they reach the Red Sea. I can clearly see God is guiding me (Chorus) My cows hardly moo. on our way to the land where we’ll live. Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh They’re all in a stew. mi-kol ha-lay-loht? I’m sick, When the way is hard, we will dance and See if you can sing it when each word is I’m sick of the murrain. laugh on a new note! around the graven image of a golden calf. With an unexpected tune, the questions ©1995 Barbara Sarshik In the end we’ll learn never sound rote. and to God we’ll turn Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh 57. Murrain’s a Pain on our way to the land where we’ll live. mi-kol ha-lay-loht? to the tune of “The Rain in Spain” And those among us who grumble from My Fair Lady Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay Will be glad to see Jericho. Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay Narrator 1: Our scene opens in London in Those walls are all gonna crumble the study of Professor Higgins, a noted when we all pick up our trumpets and we Why on this night do we only eat unleav- expert in the English language and English blow! ened bread? accents. Professor Higgins is with Eliza Why do we eat bitter herbs when we like We will settle in on the sacred soil, Doolitle, a Cockney flower girl. He has sweets instead? Not knowing that some day we’ll miss embarked on a campaign to teach Eliza Why do we dip two times on this Pesach the lack of oil. to shed her Cockney accent and to speak when we dine? Each and every day with a proper, upper class English accent. Sitting at the seder table, why do we all of us will pray recline? Narrator 2: As we watch Professor Higgins thanking God for the land where we’ll and Eliza, he is using the Passover story live. (Chorus) as a teaching tool. In particular, he wants ©1997 Barbara Sarshik Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh mi- to show how Pharaoh reacted to the ten kol ha-lay-loht? plagues that were visited upon him. In the See if you can sing it when each word is scene before us, they are discussing the on a new note! plague known as murrain, which is a form SECTION 8: With an unexpected tune, the questions of disease much like Mad Cow Disease that FOUR QUESTIONS never sound rote struck cattle throughout Egypt. Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh mi- Higgins: Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do 55. Mah nish-tanah kol ha-lay-loht? complain. ©2008 Barbara Sarshik Eliza: (repeating, with her Cockney ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh accent) mi-kol ha-lay-lot? SECTION 9: PLAGUES Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain. to the tune of Higgins: No, no, no, Eliza. Murrain’s a “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” Other songs to sing with this section pain, in vain I do complain. Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay are Songs 32, 34 and 58. Eliza: (getting it right for the first time) Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain. Higgins: She’s got it! By George, she’s got (Chorus) it! Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh mi- Everyone singing: kol ha-lay-loht? See if you can sing it when each word is Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain! on a new note! Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain! 56. Sick of the Murrain And what is that murrain? With an unexpected tune, the questions a song about cattle disease to the tune It’s a pain! It’s a pain! never sound rote. of “Singin’ in the Rain” Mah nish-tanah ha-lahy-lah ha-zeh And how do you complain? mi-kol ha-lay-loht? I’m sick of the murrain. In vain! In vain! I’m sick of the murrain. Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain! Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay My cattle are dropping. Murrain’s a pain, in vain I do complain! Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay It’s all a big pain. ©1997 Barbara Sarshik Page 14 Section 10 – 16: Dayenu – Charoses

SECTION 10: DAYENU SECTION 16: CHAROSES 58. Pharaoh’s Power 61. A Spoon of Charoses to the tune of “April Showers” to the tune of “A Spoonful of Sugar” Though Pharaoh’s power keeps you from enslaved, At every seder every year, You’ll see the hour when you’ll be saved. There is an element of fear So when you’re building a pyramid, When I must eat a bitter herb. You’ll know that Adonai will soon be And in the moment that I dread, smiting The heat goes to my head, Pharaoh’s first born kid. I cough! I sneeze! I whimper and I wheeze! Great times are coming for every Jew. But… We’ll soon be humming a Dayenu. So keep on dreaming of your freedom (Chorus) And knowing it won’t be long, SECTION 11: EXPLANATION A spoon of charoses helps Whenever Pharaoh’s power feels too OF PASSOVER SYMBOLS — the bitter herb go down, strong. PESACH, MATZAH, MAROR The bitter herb go down, © Barbara Sarshik 2004 See songs 60, 61 and 1. bitter herb go down, Yes, a spoon of charoses helps the bitter herb go down SECTION 12: HALLEL In the most delightful way. See songs 9 – 13 for Sanctifying God’s So you should keep it in your mind, Name. If there’s a moment when you find There’s something dreadful you must do. SECTION 13: It will be better if you add A thing that’s not so bad, SECOND CUP OF WINE A song! A sweet! See songs 14 – 15 for Kiddush over A favorite toy or treat! Wine. Cause… (Repeat chorus) SECTION 14: ©2008 Barbara Sarshik BLESSING OVER MATZAH See songs 18 and 19 for Breaking the 59. All These Jews Middle Matzah. to the tune of “All That Jazz” Come on, babe, it’s time to say a prayer SECTION 15: BITTER HERBS WITH ALL THESE JEWS. Grab some matzah, lean back in your An additional song to sing with this chair section is song 61. WITH ALL THESE JEWS. Tell a story from the days of old When our people could be bought and 60. The Red and the White sold. (The Song) 62. I’m Thanking Moses Just sit back and let the tale be told to the tune of “The Red and the Black” to the tune of WITH ALL THESE JEWS. from Les Miserables “I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover” God said, “Moses, take a look around. Red, the color of the beet. I’m thanking Moses for my charoses, AT ALL THESE JEWS. White, the color I desire. I love apples, nuts and wine. Go tell Pharaoh that it’s way past time Red has much too little heat. I love my , granola and bread. TO FREE THESE JEWS.” White, I feel my mouth on fire. But with charoses, I’ll still be well fed. God showed Moses what he had to do, ©1996 Barbara Sarshik When I put lotsa the stuff on matzah, Helped the Jews tell Pharaoh “Toodleoo.” it’s something that I adore. So tonight we’re singing Dayenu I’m thanking Moses for my charoses, WITH ALL THESE JEWS. so, please, won’t you pass me more? ©2003 Barbara Sarshik ©1999 Barbara Sarshik Page 15 Section 17 – 22: Afikomen – Next Year In Jerusalem

SECTION 17: AFIKOMEN Life is sweet! Life is good! 66. We’ve Got Matzah When you’re in our neighborhood! to the tune of “I Got Rhythm” by George And when you are here, Gershwin 63. Afikomen! Elijah, we are blessed! to the tune of “Oklahoma!” We’ve got matzah. Just park your golden chariot. Afikomen! We’ve got maror. You don’t need a Marriot! Every year I know that I am cursed. We’ve got shank bones. Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! After it’s been hid, Who could ask for anything more? some other kid ©2008 Barbara Sarshik We’ve got manna is the one who always finds it first. In the desert. Afikomen! SECTION 20: We’ve got Moses. If I had a better pair of eyes, FOURTH CUP OF WINE Who could ask for anything more? I could have some fun, Old man Pharaoh, he’s behind us. See songs 14 – 15 for Kiddush over I’d be the one You won’t find us at his door. who would get to claim the special prize. Wine. We’ve got freedom. God brought us to the promised land. We’ve got Torah. And the land that he gave us is grand. SECTION 21: CLOSING AND SONGS We’ve got our God. But when I say, “Oy vay!” Who could ask for anything more? I’m only saying, “Lord! An additional song to sing with this Who could ask for anything more? Please let me find it.” section is Song 2. ©2003 Barbara Sarshik All that I want is to find the Afikomen! Amen. 65. Eight Days? A Week? ©1997 Barbara Sarshik to the tune of “Eight Days a Week” by the Beatles Next year SECTION 18: (Just how long is Passover, anyway?) THIRD CUP OF WINE Ooh, I need my bread, babe in See songs 14 – 15 for Kiddush over Guess you know it’s true. Wine. How long must I wait, babe? What’s your point of view? Jerusalem Bagels, ! Bagels, challah! I ain’t got nothing but matzah Eight days? A week? Some Jews say it’s seven. SECTION 22: Some Jews say it’s eight. NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM Just how long is Pesach? See song 3. How long must I wait? Bagels, challah! Bagels, challah! SECTION 19: ELIJAH I ain’t got nothing but matzah Eight days? A week? An additional song to sing with this section is Song 3. Eight days? A week? Of Peeeeeeeeeeeeesach. Eight days? A week? 64. Ode to Elijah It’s long enough to show we care. to the tune of “Be Our Guest” from Beauty and the Beast Ooh, I need my bread, babe Guess you know it’s true. Be our guest! Be our guest! How long must I wait, babe? Put our seder to the test! What’s your point of view? All you have to do is come on in Most of the lyrics are by And we’ll provide the rest. Bagels, challah! Bagels, challah! Barbara Sarshik — www.passoversongparodies.com I ain’t got nothing but matzah Here’s some wine in a cup! Many illustrations are from Eight days? A week? Just recline and drink it up! CCAR Haggadah ©1923 It will be your favorite flavor © 2012 Barbara Sarshik Booklet design and desktop publishing by If it’s Concord grape you favor! and Leah Pike Randi Rose — www.rosegraphics.com

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