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Remys-Dilemma.Pdf Remy’s Dilemma BOOK I OF THE REMY DELEMME SERIES by Andrew Snook Illustrations and cover art by Pj Monfero Suite 300 - 990 Fort St Victoria, BC, Canada, V8V 3K2 www.friesenpress.com Copyright © 2017 by Andrew Snook Second Edition — 2017 The people, places and events in this book are fiction or are used in a fictitious manner www.snookbooks.com Follow my adventures on: Twitter: @a_snook Facebook: facebook.com/snookbooks Instagram: remyridesagain Cover design and illustrations by Pj Monfero All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form, or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information browsing, storage, or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. ISBN 978-1-4602-6275-7 (Hardcover) 978-1-4602-6276-4 (Paperback) 978-1-4602-6277-1 (eBook) 1. Fiction, Humorous Distributed to the trade by The Ingram Book Company For my one true love, Cristine. Remy’s Dilemma 1 1 Awakenings t started with a dream, or at least what I thought was a dream. I I know now it was a premonition, a sneak peek into the destruc- tion of my world. It appeared in the form of a powerful whisper across the airwaves. The voice, humanity’s reaper, was hidden deep inside the hollowed belly of a rocky beast in Colorado. As it spoke, our time on this planet was given an expiration date. “My fellow Glamericans, we are under attack from the terror- ist organization known as Nations Against Glomitrox. Several nations with direct ties to N.A.G. have begun fuelling weapons of mass destruction, which they intend to fire on our country if I do not surrender myself for alleged crimes against humanity. Do not believe their propaganda. Our nuclear strikes on Paris, Moscow, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Berlin and Rome were pre-emptive strikes meant to protect the Glamerican people. We were completely within our rights to defend our homeland — especially after the underhanded assault on the City of Regina by unknown assailants that claimed thousands of lives. This unwar- ranted aggression will not go unchecked. 2 Andrew Snook Any nation that supports the terrorist activities of N.A.G. should consider this broadcast a final warning. Glamerica demands that all countries cease any plans for hostile actions against our fine state, or we will have no choice but to launch a full nuclear strike on all non- Glamerican soil. Any Glamericans trained on how to survive a nuclear strike are to go door-to-door immediately and show their fellow citizens how to properly hide under a desk. This is Prime Minister Harper Day signing off. Good night and Glam bless.” I sat up and sprang from my bed, drenched in perspiration from the combination of my dream and the hot, humid July night. My chest felt tight, making it hard to breathe. My heart was racing. I ran outside onto my balcony for some fresh air. Pulling a cigarette from a pack of Cats that had been sitting on my windowsill, I took a few puffs and began to calm down. I took a moment to check out my view of Mississauga’s east end, which was comprised of nothing but other old, run-down high- rise apartment buildings and abandoned factories. This area of the city has seen better days. Remembering my dream, I snapped back into a panic, dropped my cigarette, and ran to my bedroom closet. Opening the closet door unleashed a tidal wave of garbage and old knick- knacks. I frantically rummaged through my belongings, search- ing for a promise. After a few anxious minutes, I found my orange Hungry Boy lunchbox, held it to my right ear and shook it intensely. The sound of rattling filled my ear. Oh, thank God! If you knew the end of the world was coming, how would you spend the time you had left? Would you try and right a lifetime of wrongs, repent your sins, and attempt to secure a spot in the land of your almighty? Would you seek out family members to remember the better days or rebuild relationships lost long ago? Remy’s Dilemma 3 I suppose these options create closure for some people, I’m just not one of them. However, I found a path that is equally fulfilling, at least in the short-term, which suits me just fine. After all, it’s not like having long-term goals makes much sense now, anyway. My name is Remy Delemme, and my world is going to die. **** In downtown Toronto’s financial district, detective Tobias Gray awoke from his slumber at 6 a.m. in his three-bedroom luxury condominium. Gray sat up in his king-sized bed and stretched his arms towards the ceiling before getting up to start his day. He neatly tucked the top sheet under the mattress before placing the comforter back on his bed, making it look like it had never been slept in. He then made his way to the bathroom, where he shaved while listening to the hisses from the automatic coffee maker in his kitchen as it slowly dripped into a travel mug. He opened his bedroom closet and removed a tweed jacket, a well-ironed black turtleneck, a neatly folded pair of blue jeans, briefs and black knit socks, and got dressed. He then slipped his weapon holster on, which housed a 9mm semi-automatic pistol, and strapped his backup, Betty — a lightweight, five-shot, snubnose revolver — around his ankle. After combing his black hair, neatly parting it to the right side, he headed down the hall towards the kitchen. Gray grabbed a pen and crossed off a box on the calendar attached to his fridge. Today is Thursday, July 11, 2041. He picked up a piece of paper, opened his fridge and made a list: Bread, Milk, Eggs, Chicken, Potatoes, Peanut butter. Picking up his travel mug, he took a sip while watching the sun rise over his thriving neighbourhood. He let out a deep, satisfied breath. 4 Andrew Snook Today is going to be a good day, he said to himself as he headed downstairs to the building’s garage. Gray walked over to his blue, electric-powered Fraud Shocker, hopped in, and began his drive to Division 22 of the Toronto Police Department. **** As I tore the lid off my childhood lunchbox, my Smiley Guy stamper, a crayon and several crumpled pieces of paper fell out and scattered across the floor of my apartment. I grabbed the stamper and crayon and placed them in the pocket of the jeans I was still wearing from the night before. I often slept in my clothes on Wednesday nights. Wednesday had become a regular drinking night for me, and taking off your clothes when you’re drunk is just too complicated, especially when belts and socks are involved. I looked over at the clock, forgetting that its hands had been stuck at 1:45 a.m. for more than a month. Not that it really mattered. Waking up at random hours in a daze has never been a conflict for me since I don’t believe it’s necessary to have steady employment. I opened each piece of paper, tossing them aside until I found a letter labelled, “Things To Do Today.” It was written in irradiated emerald green crayon, my favou- rite colour in the fourth grade. As I read the contents of the letter, it transformed from a child’s ramblings into the most important document I had ever possessed. Dear Me, If you are reading this, then you will soon be in heaven, singing with the angels. I paused for a moment, rolling my eyes at the naiveté of my youth, and then continued reading. Remy’s Dilemma 5 Here is a list of important stuff you need to do before we grow our wings. (#1) Get to second base I couldn’t hold back my excited, girlish giggle. A week after I wrote this letter, I made my way to second base. Rebecca Lashley. She had long, blonde hair, big, blue eyes, and a beauti- ful smile. Poor girl, she never even saw it coming. I can remem- ber body checking her off second base to prevent the double play like it was yesterday. Such a wonderful childhood memory! After I finished reminiscing, I turned my attention back to the letter and continued to scroll down the list. To my horror, I realized the first item was the only goal I ever accomplished. I still had nine quests to complete. (#2) Go cow tipping (#3) Own sweet ride (#4) Become one with nature (#5) Go hunting and shoot at stuff (#6) Try exotic cuisine (#7) Find true love (#8) Find the answer to man’s greatest question! (#9) Help out the elderly (#10) Have a near-death experience There was no way I could complete all these challenges before nuclear Armageddon arrived on my doorstep, so I decided to focus on the goal that plagued me to this day — finding the answer to man’s greatest question! The remaining goals would have to be placed on the backburner. 6 Andrew Snook Knowing there was no time to waste, I began preparing myself for the road ahead. Who knows when the first bombs will drop? Hopefully, fortune would smile upon me and grant me enough time to complete what I started so long ago. I decided my first order of business was to gather my valu- ables and trade them for items I would require on my journey.
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