Dr. Jacob J. Schacter Leisure and Vacation Senior Scholar, YU’s Center for the Jewish Future in Thought University Professor of Jewish History and Jewish Thought, Yeshiva University Rebbetzin Shana Yocheved Schacter, CSW Psychotherapist in Private Practice

THE IMPORTANCE OF LEISURE: RABBINIC AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVES

Editor’s Introduction: Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter, PhD, and Rebbetzin Shana Yocheved Schacter, CSW, work together at Yeshiva University’s programs for and rebbetzins, teaching and mentoring rabbis and rebbetzins, based on their respective expertise: Rabbi Schacter, an accomplished scholar and noted speaker with decades of experience as a pulpit rabbi, teaches a variety of rabbinic skills. Rebbetzin Schacter, an accomplished psychotherapist, combines her professional knowledge with her experience as a rebbetzin to teach pastoral care and how to balance congregational life and family relationships. We asked Rabbi and Rebbetzin Schacter to draw from their own expertise and share their perspectives on the importance of leisure.

Rabbi Schacter hem hayenu ve-orekh yamenu u-vahem studied literally day and night? Does nehegeh yomam va-laylah (For they are not the Gemara (Megillah 3b) state ny analysis of the role of our life and the length of our days; on that one may suspend Torah leisure for men in traditional them we will meditate day and night)” only for very important extenuating must begin with the in Maariv, every single day of the year? circumstances, to bury the dead and assumptionA that the very concept Are we not familiar with the pasuk of to accompany a bride to her wedding? needs justification. After all, how “ve-hagita bo yomam va-laylah (You Leisure activities are not included in could there even be a legitimate shall contemplate it day and night)” that very short list.¹ Since when, then, notion such as leisure? Should not the (Josh. 1:8) which, according to one is leisure a legitimate activity worthy study of Torah occupy one’s entire opinion of the Gemara (Menahot of consideration and analysis at all? time? Do we not regularly recite “ki 99b), seems to require that Torah be It is clear that while such rigorous

7 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779 single-minded devotion may be And so the issue is not whether by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik. aspirational, it is not practical. First, to engage in leisure at all but the A transcript of a talk he delivered there is almost no one whose life kind of leisure activities in which to includes the following: revolves exclusively around full- engage. Clearly the choice of venue A man wakes at dawn and sees the sun time Torah study to the exclusion is significant. In a responsum written rising or goes out at sunset and sees the of anything else. It is manifestly in 1967, Rabbi fiery clouds which drape the horizon obvious that, practically speaking, railed against those even otherwise in the twilight of a weekday at dusk . the vast majority of men do engage observant Jews who spend their . . must see in the splendor of sunrise in other sorts of activities. But this is vacations and Jewish holidays in and sunset, in this wondrous cosmic not only a bidi‘eved reality, it is also hotels that feature public Sabbath regularity, a reflection of the glory of God a lekhathila one as well. Rabbinic desecration, even where the kashrut . . . sources already reject a requirement may be beyond reproach.⁶ And in a In nature as a whole . . . the primeval to study Torah day and night to the 1980 responsum, Rabbi Feinstein will of the master of the Universe is exclusion of doing anything else.² underscored the importance of reflected. A man goes outdoors on a fair Furthermore, total focus on Torah maintaining regular times for Torah summer’s day and sees the whole world study, or any other purely intellectual study and proper standards of blossoming; that man comes “to know” endeavor, is unhealthy and a recipe modesty (zni‘ut) “even when one is that there exists a Primary Being Who for diminishing returns; it is simply seeking physical rest.”⁷ is the originator of all that is; in every counterproductive. In a talk delivered But what kinds of activities are budding flower, in every rose opening its in his yeshiva in Radin in 1903, Rabbi appropriate? Most obvious is walking petals, in each ray of light and in every Yisrael Meir Hakohen (the Hafez outdoors. The Rambam’s recipe for drop of rain — “to know that there Hayyim) exhorted his students to cultivating love and fear of God is well is a Primary being and that He is the care for their bodies, and not to learn known: Originator of all that is.⁹ too much, which, he feared, may This awareness — and appreciation והיאך היא הדרך לאהבתו ויראתו בשעה weaken them and cause them to fall cannot be achieved at home, even — שיתבונן האדם במעשיו וברואיו הנפלאים ill. “Therefore, it is necessary to rest by looking out a window. It requires הגדולים ויראה מהן חכמתו שאין לה ערך ולא and refresh and breathe clear air,” he direct unmediated connection to קץ מיד הוא אוהב ומשבח ומפאר ומתאוה told them. He recommended taking a nature, out of the house, leaving תאוה גדולה לידע השם הגדול כמו שאמר דוד walk in the evening or resting at home .behind a closed Gemara צמאה נפשי לאלהים לא-ל חי. and, where possible, to go swimming “in order to strengthen the body.” What is the path [to achieve] love Indeed, references abound to He continued, “Too much diligence and fear of Him? When a person instances where Jews in a variety of (hatmadah) is the design of the evil contemplates His wondrous great deeds times and communities engaged in inclination (azat ha-yezer)” because and creations and from them elicits His precisely this activity. For example, it will lead one to cease Torah study infinite wisdom that has no price and the 15th-century R. Yisrael Isserlein entirely.³ Furthermore, the biblical no end, he will immediately love, praise, included a reference in his very first command of “Ve-nishmartem me’od and glorify [Him], and yearn with responsum to an older practice in le-nafshotekhem (You shall greatly tremendous desire to know [God’s] great Krems, a city in Austria, of davening beware for your souls)” (Deut. 4:15) name, as David stated: “My soul thirsts so early on Friday afternoons that the is recognized to be an obligation to for the Lord, for the living God” (Ps. rabbi and all communal leaders would ⁸ care for one’s physical health and 42:3). be able to go for a walk (“halkhu well-being and it is self-understood For the Rambam, contemplating le-tayel”) after the Shabbat meal on that such a focus demands time for God’s creations through engaging the banks of the Danube River and rest and relaxation.⁴ In addition, for with the natural world, achieved most return home, all while there was still women whose obligation of Talmud directly by physically encountering daylight.10 In a later responsum he Torah is more muted,⁵ the issue it in the great outdoors, has infinite actually referred to taking a walk on of leisure is certainly relevant and value. Yom Tov (“holekh be-Yom Tov le- important. ”) as a “ ” (a matter This point was made most sharply tayel dvar mizvah

8 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779 that is considered a mizvah).11 A tied up in chains. This testimony is There is, thus, no doubt that leisure century later, R. Mosheh Isserles cited in an article that addresses the activities are central for the personal (Rama) wrote that he engaged in appropriateness of visiting a zoo, and spiritual growth of the human the study of non-exclusively Torah referring also to evidence that Rabbi being and the Jew.22 disciplines “only on Shabbat, Yom Yisrael Isserlein went on Shabbat In one of his posthumously published Tov and Hol ha-Mo‘ed when people to see a pair of lions that had been works, Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik 12 In the 17 go walking (holkhim le-tayel).” brought to his city. wrote: 18th century, R. Yaakov Emden even • Playing chess was a well-known The service of God is perpetual, without permitted taking a walk on Shabbat accepted leisure activity, with stories cessation . . . Halakhah, which requires to the bourse, or the city’s center of often told about Hasidic Rebbes a particular form of life consecrated business activities, clearly reflecting playing that game on Christmas Eve.18 that such an activity was common at to the one goal of fulfilling God’s will, the time.13 But not every time of day is • Visiting museums also enjoyed penetrated with its glowing lamp into appropriate for this activity. R. Yisrael a measure of support. The Jewish the hidden places of concrete human Meir Hakohen was very disturbed Chronicle (London) published an existence, physical and spiritual, omitting by those who took a stroll during the article in 1935 in which Rabbi Kook nothing, oblivious to nothing. . . Worship time when a Torah discourse was is cited as saying, “When I lived in begins with physiological functions taking place in the bet midrash and, to London, I used to visit the National like nutrition and copulation, with the make matters worse, while engaging in Gallery, and my favorite pictures were intimate feelings of the individual, with frivolous talk.14 But, on principle and those of Rembrandt.”19 love of parents, and then moves through in general, this kind of leisure activity • Playing ball was universally accepted all of man’s public manifestations, his 15 has much support in Jewish sources. as legitimate, and there is evidence conduct in every nook and cranny of reality, culminating in connections to What about other kinds of leisure that it was done by Jews throughout friends and companions, in business activities? There are sources medieval times, although there was dealings, in professional work that opposed to going to a track to watch a sharp disagreement between R. serves society, in the manufacture of horseracing, going to a theater, and Shlomo Luria (Maharshal) and R. economic-industrial products, in social even going to a stadium to watch Mosheh Isserles (Rama) as to whether and national initiatives ... Halakhah is a sporting event on the grounds or not it is permitted on Yom Tov.20 concerned with each and every stage of that they are a moshav lezim where • Engaging in physical exercise was life and leaves its distinctive marks on all frivolous activities (“lezanut”) take widely accepted as legitimate. R. 23 16 of them. place. Practically speaking, however, Hayyim Soloveitchik used to box with I would add leisure activities to this many of us are comfortable in the his students; R. Yosef Yozel Horowitz list. They too need to be determined theater or at a sporting event and (later “the Alter of Novaredok”) and by appropriate values and engaged consider these to be acceptable forms R. Aharon Walkin (later the author of in for appropriate purposes. Shlomo of leisure. She’elot u-Teshuvot Zkan Aharon) used ha-Melekh taught us (Mishlei 3:6), to wrestle one another as young men Other activities enjoy a broader range “ (In all in Riga; Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky Be-khol derakhekha da‘ehu of support: your ways you should know Him).” was known to be the best swimmer • R. Hayyim Yosef Azulai (the Hida) Hazal taught us (Mishnah 2:12), in the ; and R. Shlomo Avot reports that he remembers as a young “ Goren (later the Ashkenazi Chief Ve-khol ma‘asekha yihiyu le-shem man visiting the Tower of London (And all your activities Rabbi of Israel) reported that he did Shamayim and seeing strange exotic animals should be for the sake of Heaven).” fifty pushups a day.21

Find more shiurim and articles from Rabbi Dr. Schacter at https://www.yutorah.org/rabbi-dr-jacob-j-schacter

9 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779 Endnotes 26:1 (1935):1-6; Saul J. Berman, “Playing Ball She rarely sees him enjoying himself on Shabbat and Yom Tov,” The Edah Journal and he is always preoccupied with the 1 My thanks to my wife, Yocheved Schacter, 1:1 (2000):1-13; response by Elie Berman, in next work deadline, leaving her feeling for reminding me of this idea. “Edah Journal Responses;” Nachum Amsel, “Sports and Judaism,” pp. 324-32, 213-21 as if she is walking on eggshells. He is 2 See Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hil. Yesodei (Hebrew); Maharshal, Yam Shel Shlomoh, aware that his strained existence has ha-Torah 4:13 (other intellectual disciplines); Bezah, Ch. 1, #34; Rama, Orah Hayyim, Hil. reached crisis proportions, but he has Hil. Talmud Torah 1:12 (business); Shulhan Yom Tov #518:1. Arukh, Yore De‘ah #246:1, 4. no idea how he got into this mess in 21 Nachum Amsel, “Sports and Judaism,” p. the first place, nor how to now break 3 See Nachum Amsel, “Sports and Judaism,” 217, #49, 52; p. 220, #70. The Encyclopedia of Jewish Values (Jerusalem this cycle of madness in order to and New York, 2015), 217 (Hebrew), #48. 22 For further references that discuss this pursue alternative options. idea, see Yitzchak Blau, “Modern Orthodox 4 See, for example, R. Moshe Sternbuch, Arguments Against Television,” Tradition Ora is a physician in a solo practice. Sefer Ta‘am va- Da‘at, vol. 3 (on Devarim) 44:2 (2011):53-71; Shalom Carmy, Avi She loves her work, but never has (1962), 41. Woolf and Yitzhak Blau, “The One Thing enough time in the day to meet the 5 See Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hil. Talmud Money Can’t Buy,” Tradition 45:1 (2012):1- demands of her position. Ora cannot Torah 1:13. 11; Norman Lamm, “A Jewish Ethic of remember the last time she went out Leisure,” in Faith and Doubt: Studies in 6 R. Moshe Feinstein, Iggerot Mosheh, Traditional Jewish Thought (New York, 1971), to dinner, much less took a day off. “Iggerot Hashkafah” (Jerusalem, 2011), 365, 186-211; Josef Pieper, Leisure: The Basis The basic needs of her three children #1. of Culture (South Bend, 1998); R. Aharon and the time demands of their after- 7 Ibid., p. 370, #4. Reichman, “She’elot ha-Nish’alot Biymei school games absorb all her hours Ben ha-Zemanim,” Hamachne Hachareidi on weeknights and weekends. Lately, 8 See Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hil. Yesodei #1604 (July 18, 2013):24-25; #1605 (July ha-Torah 2:2. 25, 2013):24-25; David Singer, “Is Club Ora has been having trouble sleeping 9 R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik, On Repentance Med Kosher?: Reflections on Synthesis and feels anxious often; she has been (Northvale and London, 2000), 131-32. and Compartmentalization,” Tradition 21:4 losing weight and knows that it is (1985):27-36; Shalom Carmy, “Rejoinder: 10 R. Israel Isserlein, Terumat ha-Deshen, #1. related to never feeling that she can Synthesis and the Unification of Human meet the needs and expectations of 11 Ibid., #77. Existence,” Tradition 21:4 (1985):37-51; David Stav, Ben ha-Zemanim: Tarbut, Biluy her family and patients. She panics 12 R. Mosheh Isserles, Shut ha-Rama #7. u-Penai be-Halakhah u-be-Mahshavah about work responsibilities when she 13 R. Yaakov Emden, She’ilat Yavez, vol. 1, (Tel Aviv, 2012); Gil Student, “Is Leisure is not there and about her family and #167. Kosher?,” (August 18, 2014), www.ou.org/ other non-work matters when it is life/inspiration/leisure-kosher. 14 R. Yisrael Meir Hakohen, Mishnah impossible for her to attend to those. Berurah, Hil. Shabbat #290:7. 23 Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, Worship of the Heart (Jersey City, 2003), 164-65. Leisure time should be spent away 15 For additional examples, see R. Menahem Rambam’s statement in his Mishneh Torah, from work, domestic chores and Slay, “Ha-Tiyul be-Sifrut ha-Shu”t,” Ha-Ma‘ayan Hil. De‘ot 3:2-3, cited by Rabbi Soloveitchik, is school, free from the tasks of daily 16:3 (1976):17-35. very relevant to this point. living. Furthermore, many of us are 16 See R. Menashe Klein, Mishneh Halakhot, busy every hour of our day and cannot vol. 6, #270; R. Moshe Feinstein, Iggerot Rebbetzin Schacter rest until every “t” is crossed and Mosheh, Yoreh De‘ah, vol. 4, #11. “i” is dotted. This intense lifestyle is 17 R. Zvi Aryeh Friedman, “Ha’arot ve- rian is an investment banker counterproductive. As long as we are He‘arot,” Ha-Ma’or 69:2 (Kislev-Tevet who works long hours and 5776):100. so busy that we do not allow for any seldom takes time to relax. white space in our lives, we cannot 18 See “Mishak ha-Shehmat be-‘Nitl’ u-She’ar BHe has moved up the career ladder feel happiness or be introspective and Yemot ha-Shanah,” Hamachne Hachareidi #1625 (January 2, 2014):36. steadily, though he does not enjoy his assess our needs. work. The atmosphere there is tense Brian and Ora are each headed for a 19 A. Melnikoff, “Rabbi Kook on Art,” The and high pressured, and he feels that Jewish Chronicle (September 13, 1935). personal and professional crash if they he is on a trajectory that has taken on don’t find time to reflect on what is 20 Encyclopeadia Judaica, vol. 19 (2007), a life of its own. Brian’s wife complains pp. 128-29; Robert Henderson, “Moses going on in their lives, and recognize that she finds it impossible to live with Provencal on Tennis,” Jewish Quarterly Review that small or large changes must be him in this tightly wound state of his:

10 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779 made. They must each plan the space org/2018/01/what-self-awareness- being caught committing a serious to try to understand how they got to really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it), crime. their dangerous crossroads and take among many professional and popular Ora was insecure and anxious about responsibility to make meaningful literary sources, cites self-awareness her medical practice. She frantically changes, one small step at a time. and self-care as the most important worked and her lack of confidence variables in determining success for Leisure time is the best way to offset remained unaddressed. Ora became leaders. When we are aware of our stress and manage the feeling of being prone to shouting matches with her strengths and weaknesses, and we can overwhelmed by life. Whether we husband and children as an outlet see ourselves for who we are without are overextended as in the cases of of frustration and tension that could being self-denigrating or overly Brian and Ora, or just involved with have been prevented with the benefit self-confident, we can put necessary a balanced life of commitments to of leisure time to explore her fears and supports and interventions in place family, friends and work, leisure time access proper help. is something precious to incorporate to be our best selves on the job and in Boundary violations can take in our lives in regular intervals. Even our personal relationships. the form of speaking or behaving just short periods of time help us Brian was concerned about asking disrespectfully to others. In recent relax: a moment to think, reflect and for help at work, because he feared years we have unfortunately learned put coping strategies and de-stressors that his value would be diminished of leaders who otherwise have made in place. Thinking about the blessings in the eyes of his superiors and peers. positive contributions to peoples’ in our lives, experiencing the gratitude Because Brian was overwhelmed lives and communities, but who for all that is good is a very important and did not feel cared for, he isolated were unaware of their own needs way to begin each day. Exercise, even himself and remained unaware that he and turned to vulnerable others to moderate exercise such as walking and needed more validation and support satisfy those needs in horrifying talking with a friend and/or family from his superiors and peers. It was scenarios. Consequently, it is critical member regularly, is a modest but the relentlessness of his work schedule to create leisure time in order to stellar way of integrating leisure time that prevented him from self-reflecting relax, re-energize, self-assess and get in our daily routine, and helps avert and self-assessing, thus perpetuating the support and nurturing we need. the dangers of overdrive, burnout, unmet needs. Furthermore, this Collaboration, sharing and learning anxiety and depression. ongoing deprivation led him to from others are essential practices to abuse his position of power (status I think about leisure time as having becoming and sustaining the best you. and money), and he went so far as to two important stages. The first is to Leisure can help us recalibrate, ensure purposely or impulsively engage in choose and pursue activities and that we avoid looking inappropriately boundary violations. people who relax us. This may involve toward others to lay blame, or worse, hobbies we are good at or which we Brian began hacking into the accounts engage in abuse. Leisure time is simply enjoy. Sometimes they are solo of his colleagues and stealing essential in achieving optimum pursuits, others are done with friends, information in an effort to look balance in our work and personal family or strangers. Physical activities brilliant and garner the praise and lives. Whether we are stressed and (swimming, tennis, bicycling), validation which eluded him. This overextended, or just busy with socializing, art (creating or museum- behavior could have been avoided life’s customary commitments and going), music (playing an instrument if Brian had the space to introspect, activities, leisure plays an essential role or listening), eating, and other and connect his egregious behavior in relaxing, refreshing and reflecting. experiences that gratify our senses with his need to be acknowledged and are all part of leisure time. Only when admired by his superiors. Leisure time Leisure: A Conversation with we are relaxed can we move on to the could have made this self-awareness Rebbetzin Schacter second stage: self-awareness. a possibility and he could have Self-awareness is the key to success in satisfied this need in an acceptable 1) What is an ideal vacation/leisure professional and personal arenas. The way. Instead, Brian broke professional activity? boundaries and now ran the risk of Harvard Business Review (https://hbr. An ideal vacation is one in which

11 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779 you can disconnect from the current themselves the time and luxury of to say, “if I can’t get such-and-such stressors of your life and engage in vacations. In particular, those from a amount of time it won’t be worth some pleasurable activities. This Holocaust background frequently felt anything.” Even small breaks from may mean traveling to a different too guilty to indulge in many more routine are remarkably effective in geographic location, but most luxuries than a hard-working life stimulating thoughts of self-awareness important, by not staying connected allowed. and self- care. (through technology) to the source of We live in a much more affluent I believe that checking in with yourself stress (work). Once you have achieved generation and therefore have greater must be done regularly, and that a level of relaxation and perspective, options when it comes to the choice if you are practiced in taking your you should take the time to examine of the quality and locations of our emotional pulse, you will know when the particulars of the stresses of vacations. Paradoxically, with less a break is needed. One day a week your life. The ideal vacation will be disposable income, vacations were is a reasonable time off to refresh long enough to de-stress, and if the simpler and may have allowed for and restore even if that day includes challenges of life can only begin to more “rest and relaxation.” How family and a limited amount of work be addressed at that time, it will be many of us announce that we need a responsibility. This means that if necessary to strategize during vacation vacation after the vacation because Sunday is the day and you are busy as to what the next steps toward self- it was so intense and exhausting! going to events for your children or awareness and self-care will be. Our fear of missing out may drive caring for parents, you build in some 2) What considerations should be us to vacation in the same intense private time for yourself as well. given to the choice of venue? way that we work. Currently there is 5) How do we strike the balance more of a focus on the exotic in travel The venue should be far away enough between personal leisure time and activities during leisure time as or different enough to feel like you with spouse, immediate family and opposed to the benefits of clearing the are on vacation. Know yourself and extended family? your needs and choose accordingly. mind, enriching the soul and restoring The need to take care of ourselves What is good for your friends and ourselves. We must keep this mission before others applies here. Only when others may not be a good choice for in mind while planning leisure time we are cared for in a basic way can we you. Just make sure you have access in order for it to accomplish the successfully care for our spouses and to the comforts you enjoy. Going important goals outlined above. family. Think of this as a derivative of on vacation with friends is fine if 4) How do we gauge how much time the mantra we hear on every airplane there is alone time with your partner we need on a daily, weekly or yearly flight: “In case of emergency, place the or yourself in order to accomplish basis? oxygen mask over your own mouth the relaxation and self-care that is Like most other questions of “need,” before you assist others.” necessary to restore your confidence it can only be determined on a case- and energy. Honest and clear communication is by-case basis. Each person must essential so that the proper balance is assess his or her own needs. Having 3) How does our conception in place for individuals, couples and said that, the paradox is that until you of leisure differ from previous their families. Each person’s needs are feeling relaxed and cared for, you generations? is important and compromises can may incorrectly assess your needs of I vividly remember that in the 1960s be made through honest, respectful self-care. Daily exercises of gratitude the Roshei Yeshiva of YU went to communication. I conceive of the can create the positive mindset summer communities in order to strategy to plan leisure time in a series needed to distance yourself from the breathe fresh air, walk, swim and learn of concentric circles: The innermost in a different venue in order to re- abundant pressures and corrosive circle is the individual, then the energize and start the new year with negative thoughts that command couple, then the immediate family, greater strength. the day. A common refrain is “I don’t and finally the extended family. This have a minute to spare,” while really, can be accomplished in different I am also aware that, depending on the everyone has some capacity to make ways according to the needs of each culture, people did or did not allow leisure time a reality. Another trap is individual and family.

12 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5779