Wilkes BEACON college Vol. 5, No. 22. WILKES COLLEGE, WILKES-BARRE, PA. Friday, May 4, 1951 Campus Problems Are Aired At Teacher-Student Dinner LABOR MANAGEMENT FORUM BAND DIRECTOR THREE-HOUR SESSION AT CAFETERIA; MUCH LEFT UNSAID AND UNACCOMPLISHED MONDAY IN LECTURE HALL The communications system on campus, the student consti- On Monday, May 7, the Economics Department of Wilkes tution, representation in the council, the activities' philosophy, College will present a Labor Management forum in the Lec- the role of the "class" cit Wilkes, and the mystery of the dis- ture Hall. The Forum will begin at 8 P. M. and there will be no appearing activities funds in past years were some of the chief admission charge. Wilkes students are invited to attend. topics brought up at a teacher-student dinner last Tuesday eve- The Forum will be held on the sent the Labor viewpoint. Follow- fling in the cafeteria. Leaders of all campus groups were in- question "Labor Relations are Hu- ing the speeches, the meeting will vited, as were administration members and advisers to student man Relations". Mr. Wegener, Di- be turned over to the audience for activities. rector of Labor Relations for the a question period. Mr. John Reilly Enterprises will represent will The three and a half hour din- present. "There are too many Sordoni act as moderator. Dr. Mailey. After Management, and Mr. Sabol, a Charles Sabol is the manager ner-meeting provided an opportu- groups," said Union Representative of the Tex- of the Textile Workers Joint nity for many constructive sug- that point was agreed upon, two of America, will pre- in gestions to be presented about hours of trivia passed before Mr. tile Workers Board. He started the labor the coun- movement in 1930 when he helped campus problems, but at the same Partridge suggested that time, left much unsaid and un- cil members bring thought upon SPEAKER AT FORUM organize a New York City tex- before next tile mill. In 1931 he became a shop accomplished. "Glittering genera- the questions, their chairman and helped form the In- lities" were tossed about with meeting, and take any necessary dependent Textile Trimming Work- abandonment. action. The topic most discussed and ers Union which affiliated with Mr. Robert Moran the APL in 1933. Mr. Sabol has which recurred time and again, served as chairman of the execu- was that of the student govern- MOTHER'S DAY TEA, Annual Band Concert ment, its powers, constitution, and tive board of local 2440 and busi- GIRLS' DORM, MAY 11 ness agent of the same union He At Gym May 6 representation. Dr. Hugo Mailey's served on the staff of the ClO's Sunday, call for a more representative new Textile Workers Organizing group was met with varied re- The annual Mother's Day Tea Committee. The annual Wilkes College Banid actions. will be held on May 11 from three In the fall of 1946 he became Concert is to be held on Sunday, Mr. Alfred Groh felt that con- to five at the Girls' Dorm. The manager of the Penn-Appalachian May 6th at the Wilkes Gymna- struction of a definite philosophy general chairman of the Tea is Joint Board which has since grown sium The concert is scheduled to and purpose of activities should Mary Lamoreaux. from 3,000 to 6,000 members. start at 4:00 o'clock. Mr. Robert come before consuction of a more The comittees include: A. L. Wegener began to work Moran, director of the band an- efficient governing organization. Invitations: Isabel Ecker, chair- for the Electric Light and Power nounced that the band will present Dr. Eugene S. Parley made clear man, Lois Shaw, Joan Likewise, Company of St. Louis in 1916. the following numbers: the differences between the old and Diane Liewellyn; While working f.or this company Star Spangled Banner, Key; and present student constitutions. Refreshments: Lucille Reese and he joined the International Broth Mountain Majesty Overture, The old constitution called for Marianne Hoffman, co-chairmen, erhood of Electrical Workers and Yoder; club representatives to be voting Jane Carpenter, Beth Badman, and became active in union admini- March.Glory of the Trum- members of the council. The presi- Ruth Carey; stration work. In 1937 he was ap- pets, Brdkenshire; dent of the college had veto power Hostesses: Virginia B o 1 en, pointed to the International staff My Moonlight Madonna, Bon- in the old constitution. chairman, Elaine Neshitt, Pat and served for six years as As- net; In the present constitution, con- Boyd, Shirley Williams, Toni Me- (continued on page 3) March - Invercarquill, Lith- structed in about 1945-46, the pre- negus, and Kay Read; gow; 'sident has no veto power. Nor is Clean Up: Nancy Ralston, chair- Mexican Overture, Isaac; any club represented on the coun- man, Eleanor West, Doris Gates, March - El Capitan, Sousa; cil, except by chance. It was point- and Helen Brown; "No Corsages" Rule To Prevail Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, ed out that at one time the student House: Connie Smith, chairman, Bach; council spent $32,000 in one year. Florence Kistler, and Florence For Cinderella Ball, May 18th March - On the Square, Pa- It was at a time when the earlier Kevlock; nella; constitution was in effect. Al- Publicity: Jane Salwoski, chair- Morning, from Peer Gynt though it allowed vetoes and more man, and Nancy Fox; ELLIOT LAWRENCE ORCHESTRA SIGNED FOR COMING Suite no. 1, Grieg; administration control, there was Entertainment: Eleanor Pen- SEMI-FORMAL AFFAIR Comic Strip Suite, Walters; more cooperation and closer con- man, chairman, and May Way. Favorite Straus Waltzes, tact between administration and By CHUCK GLOMAN Straus; student activities. March - National Emblem, Alumni Association By popular student vote, the "no corsages" rule will prevail Dr. Farley stated that the col- Bagley. lege policy 4s built upon the 'marks cit the, coming highspot of the social calendarthe Cinderella of an educated man'. Any activity To Hold Square Dance Ball, Friday, May 18th. CINDERELLA BALL on campus which follows those General Chairman Wade Hay- rence the modern counterpart of marks, 'or any one of them, will The Wilkes College Alumni As- hurst announced this week that the Prince Charming, tries the tradi- COMMITTEES NAMED receive the full sanction and co- sociation will hold an informal Student Council has completed ar- tional glass slipperon the foot of operation of the administration. farmer dance next Friday night af- rangements for the appearance of each candidate. Assisting with extensive prepar- The statement sprang from the at the Wilkes Gymnasium. The Elliot Lawrence and his orchestra. Any information concerning the ations to make this year's Cinder- discussion of the Junior - Senior fair is scheduled to begin at 8:00 Tickets, priced at $3.60, may be gifts to be presented to Cinderella ella Ball the biggest affair ever Party at the American Legion p.m. secured from any member of the has been shrouded in secrecy. Hen- presented by the college are the Home which was allegedly "frown- This dance is the firt of its Council, the Lettermen, Tuck's ry Merolli, in charge of this phase following committees: ed upon" by the administration. kind to be held by the Alumni As- Mr. Ralston settled issue by Drug Store, the special cafeteria of the dance, refuses to talk. How- Tickets and Programs: Toni the sociation. It will be marked by an booth, the bookstore, or at the door saying that the party was not so informality of dress, and an in- ever, through the ceaseless aid of Menegus, Pris Swartwood, Connie of the gymnasium the night of the Smith. much frowned upon as "not smiled formality of atmosphere. In re- dance. Wade Hayhurst, Ed Bolinski, Bob Ballots:'Bob Eltus and Joe Rey- upon". sponse to the recent demand for Bob Eltus and Joe Reynolds Eltus, Julian Goldstein, Tom Rob- nolds. From these central ideas came farmer dances, the Alumni As- have tabulated the Cindy candidate bins and Dr. Farley, I managed to Pageant: Chuck Gloman, Tom many allied and foreign sugges- sociation added the -affair to their ballots sent in from every organiz- get this much out of Henry: In- Robbins, Julian Goldstein, George tions which went around and a- calendar of social events. The as- ation on the campus. Chosen to stead of receiving a myriad of Kabusk. round. The cycle of discussion re- sociation is charging a nominal compete for the Cinderella crown small articles this year's Cinder- Decorations: Connie Smith, Pat peated itself once or twice before fee of thirty-five cents per ticket are Jeanne Smith, Louise Brennan, ella will be presented with a FEW Mason. any indication that those present to help cover the expenses incur- Isabel Ecker, Ann Belle Perry, carefully chosen gifts of real value. Band: Vester Vercoe and Wade realized the discussion was getting red in presenting the hoe-down. Irene Wong, Nancy Fox, Joan Decorations for the coming af- Hayhurst. nowhere - slowly. Almost every- The association has arrangd to Likewise, Toni Menegus, Lois fair will be handled by a profes- Refreshments: Alex Cathro and thing on campus was touched upon import one of the Valley's better Sha'w, Rosemary Turissini and sional agency which has guaran- George Lewis. at one point or another. There was square dance orchestras and they Roberta Siwa. teed a fine job. A spring theme will Gifts for Cinderella: Henry Mer- even a plug for the Cinderella have also obtained the services of The identity of Cinderella, how- be combined with the Cinderella olli and Dave Whitney. Ball. a top notch caller. The alumni ex- 'ver, will not be revealed until aft- motif, to bring a dream-like atmo- Publicity: Jane Salwoski, Jack The inefficiency of the campus tends an invitation to all Wilkes the colorful pageant highlight- sphere to the dance music of one Phethean, Dave Parks, Wade Hay- governing bodies was one point students to dress informally and PDFig thecompression, affair, when Elliot OCR,Law- of Hollywood'sweb optimization greatest bands. usinghurst anda watermarkedChuck Gloman. evaluationgenerally agreed copy upon ofby CVISIONthose join the fun.PDFCompressor 2 WU.TCS COLLEGE BEACON Friday, May 4, 1951 Only the faculty and administra- tion know the adequacy of in- Demented Students Create Public Service; structors. In the past, instructors Ii1,_3 !1[,f have been dismissed on the basis Radio Show Now Shoved "Off The Air" of What the committee thought without any proof. This has been It was the scheduled meeting of the Campus Dance Com- TOM ROBBINS brought out by investigation at Editor-in-Chief Washington and California. It is mittee, and it was "on the air". Demented College had decided of exactly how col- JAMES TINSLEY GEORGE KABUSK interesting to note that the deci- to show the residents the community just a Features Editor News Editor sion handed down in the Univer- lege meeting was conducted. sity of California case was declar- 4'The meeting will please come Green Boys have charge of the GERTRUDE WILLIAMS ed unconstitutional by the Cali- Faculty Advisor to order," said the genial moder- Demented Clean-up Program, and fornia Supreme Court. ator. "I think it would be well fo if you butt your noses in you?li ROMAYNE GROMELSKI JOE CHERRIE Since I am restricted as to space, us to introduce ourselves to the end up with broken arms." Business Manager circulation Manager I can only suggest the writings listening audience. I am Bill Bean, "Yeah," iroke in Jerry, "and if CHUCK GLOMAN ED BOLINSKI of Carey McWilliams, Arthur and I represent the Demented Com- you mess around with a fall affair Humorist Photographer Schlesinger, and Henry S. Corn- mittee on campus. Our committee you'll get more broken mager for further references. I presents the Snow Ball each win- "Shut-up, slob, we'll do what we KARL PLEKAS and HERMAN WOODESHICK hope that I have pointed out some ter. We take pride also in the fact please." Sports of the danger to our academic that we visit local orphanages to "Don't tell me to shut up you News Staff freedom and civil liberties that help out whenever we can." shrimp, or I'll hit you with a World of Irene Janoski. Homer Bones, Mike Lewis, Joe Pace, Pattie Mason, can arise from the passage "I am J00 Cheek. I belong to the Lit book. And anyway, your father David Phillips, Eugene Scrudato, Richard Ribakove, George Helfernan. Jr. these two bills. Green Boys. The Green Boys pre- lays rotten eggs." Sincerely, sent the F-S Social each year. We "Please, gentlemen," interrupted Radio Production Julian Goldstein Bill Bean, "let's not have the meet- Burle Updyke also take charge of the Demented Clean-up Program. We are proud ing get out of hand. After all, we A paper published weekly by and for the students of Wilkes CoUege. The Editor that the Demented Professors look are all Demented students and all The BEACON upon our organization as one of striving toward the same goals PHONE 4-4651 EXT. 19 the most progressive on campus. the goals of happy living. I'll try Member Dear Sir: By the way, Bill, my girl and I are to bring it back to the subject. It Intercollegiate Press I should like, through you, to going to have a house date next might interest the radio audience offer my thanks to the students Friday night. We're going to make to know what the Demented Com- for the generous tribute in the fudge. We'd like you and Jane to mittee is planning. We are plan- LETTER TO THE EDITOR current issue of the BEACON. My come over and join us." fling to add a social next year to thanks is offered, not so much for you, Joe. We'd like to. our - - - "Thank you no-gooder," the terms in which reference is As you see folks, we're just one big "A social? Why Dear Bert, loyalty has no real meaning at made to me, for I do not feel that happy Demented family. Heh, heh." shouted Joe Cleek. "What are you Your opposition to my action all; only when that loyalty is giv- I deserve them, as for the encour- "I'm Jim Groan, president of the trying to do, run the Green Boys regarding two bills brought be- en voluntarily, without coercion, agement the tribute gives to us Language Society. Each year we off campus? Of all the low-down fore the Pennsylvania Legislature, however subtle, does it have any all, who see in it the revelation of hold the Valentine Costume Ball. tricks. You're a crumbum. And if one demanding the signing of a positive significance. the students' own ideals and aspi- We opportunity for you and that mealy mouthed moll also provide with show up next lion-communist affidavit, the other Can a teacher with a Communist rations. students to listen to records dur- you run around setting up a state investigating Yours very sincerely, ing their off hours at the Students' Friday night, I'll break a beer bot- affiliation be objective in his pre- your head and if that --" commission for the determination sentation and does he have a mind Frank J. J. Davies Lounge." tle over fade . . . announcer comes in, of student indoctrination into com- of his own? Apparently he can and "I'm afraid I'll have to break in Quick munism raises one of the very here for a moment, gentlemen," breathless. does as has been established from ladies and gentlemen, great problems of our time. the records of the broke in the moderator, "and intro- "And now investigation a few minutes of organ music." At the outset, permit me to at the University of Washington duce the two remaining committee and members . .. time is running out. state that these views are my own University of California. Can LABOR MANAGEMENT and are presented as such, and a Communist teacher ever be loyal They are Jerry Katch and Sid they may or may not coincide to America? Apparently he can Sloan. Jerry is head of the Key Society which presents the Ball (continued from page 1) with those of the other members as evidenced by the fact that many the International Presi- council who voted for my have left the party of their own and Chain Ball each autumn, and sistant to of the dent. In 1944 he was sent to Eu- resolution. free will. So we see that member- Sid is an athlete who helps out the Team Society with its plans for rope by the War Department, and two ship in the Communist Party may I opposed these bills for the Umbrella Ball each April. - - - in 148 he again traveled to Eu- very basic reasons. One, the very or may not mean a man is loyal, Economic but at the same time, membership Mr. Sloan, I see you have your rope as an agent of the oncept is a direct blow to aca- hand raised." Cooperative Administration. He demic freedom, and secondly, the in the Republican or Democratic the capacity of Chief Party does not preclude loyalty. "Yes. If you'll permit me, gen- served in mechanics of the proposals are tlemen, I'll start things rolling by of the Labor Division for the Unit- wholly impractical. The loyalty oath might eliminate Society plans Government in Belgium some, but it will not eliminate saying that the Team ed States Let me dwell fr a moment on to expand operations next year. and Luxemburg. Upon returning my first point. Your assumption, the really dangereus who are quite We are planning to some he accepted willing to perjure start to the United States Bert, is that the signing of a non- themselves if form of dance in the fall, possibly with the Sordoni En- it is their advantage to do so. a position communist affidavit guarantees calling it the Falling Leaves For- terprises as Labor Counselor. the loyalty of that individual. So if loyalty oaths are not enough mal. And also in the fall we intend However, the important considera- in themselves we must have some to regiment the Fresh into clean- tion here isloyalty to what? The means of enforcing those oaths ing up the campus as part of their obvious answer, of course, would which brings me to my second initiation." be loyalty to America. But the point and the second bill, that of Elliot Lawrence "Oh, yeah?" spoke Joe. "The FOrmal CLOTHES problem goes deeper than that. establishing state investigating *Rental Service committees. There are many conceptions of this "OLD FAVORITES NEVER DIE" *isk For The of tie word "loyalty". The mean- Even if the theory were sound, ing of the term has never really the work of the investigating com- "WILIES been defined except by the in- mittees in our colleges would be SPECIAL" vestigting bodies who have ar- double undesirable. To investigate PRICED bitrarily formulated a definition the loyalty of all communist teach- ESPECIALLY FOR YOU to their own values. It has also ers is to keep some people in the been established that the tendency party who might otherwise leave JOHN B. STETZ has been for them to define it it and encourage dishonest people Expert Clothier within very narrow limJ. to desert a cause which they would promptly rejoin if it were ever 9 E. Market St., Wilkes-Barre. Pci. The function of loyalty oaths T 'iO I. to their advantage to do so. has been nothing more than an Ho attempt at establishing political Just how would this comittee conformity and uniformity. The work? How would it get its in- McCarthys and McCarrans, the formation? Possibly, t:hey would Carivells and Tenneys h a v e obtain their information from stu- DEEMER & CO. brought us to the point where any dents or other "loyal" faculty attempt at liberal legislation or members. In other words a system School and Office overt criticism of the conservative of secret surveillance would be Supplies elements has been labeled as com- set up. In effect, we would be us- munistic. Professor Commager of ing a system to ferret out people Columbia in last week's New York who represent an ideology which GiFTS AND Times Magazine Section stated, is pledged to the use of the very STATIONERY "We cannot close our ears to cri- same system, it seems very il- ticism. We must invite and en- logical and in contradiction to all courage free discussion. We must concepts of self government and create an atmosphere which en- civil liberties which are the found- WilkesBarre, Pa. courages originality, independent ation of our democracy. criticism and dissent." Another point which seems re- The signing of loyalty oaths levant or justwhere would we would be a step in the destruction draw the line as far as dismissing of our academic freedom which instructors is concerned? Don't is the right to investigate and you see that it would be left teach objectively all philosophies entirely to the discretion of the whether they be Yogi or Commun- Committee which might be influ- ism without fear of intimidation enced by any one of a hundred or coercion. The oath would sub- political reasons or biases. For stitute political affiliation for aca- example, the California Un-Ame- demic qualificatioTs. An instruc- rican Activities Committee has, tor, not a member of the Com- labeled texts teaching sex hygiene munist Party, who refuses to sign and courses in marriage and the for Constitutional reasons would family as un-American. There is be subject to dismissal regardless no guarantee at all that the out- of his qualifications as an instruc- side body will be qualified in any PDFtori Forcing compression, a person to state OCR, his respect web to actoptimization upon these matters. using a watermarked evaluation copy of CVISION PDFCompressor !ay, Mçy 4, 1951 WILKES COLLEGE BEACON

STUDENTS TO SPONSOR EAST STROUDSBURG FALLS BEFORE ASSEMBLY PROGRAMS WILKES QUALITY BASEBALL, 5 TO 1

by Dave Whitney Wilkes defeated East Stroudsburg State Teachers College To stimulate action by students, to develop students' poise, to in- last Saturday afternoon, 5-1. John Milliman pitched an impres- crease their ability to think on sive five hitter in allowing the future teachers but one unearned their feet, to give students a run. chance to demonstrate tli.eir abili- The first three innings develop- bush's single. In the sixth Wilkes ties before a large group, is what ed into a pitchers duel as Milliman scored another run on thre singles. the Assembly Committee is try- and Talgo teamed up to prevent In the top of the seventh, Wilkes ing to do for next year. any scoring. Wilkes scored one run led 4-1. Milliman was in trouble The activity by students in as- in the fourth when Davis singled, when Pritchard walked, Krall sin- semblies may be unusually impor.- ,Kropiewnicki walked, and Manar- gled, and Braun sliced a ball into taut, because assemblies have more ski singled. Talgo was relieved by short center that seemed to le in of the element of spectacle than Mellman who finished the inning for a Texas League single. Blank- other campus events--remember without allowing any more scores. enbush charged from deep center the song "I Love A Parade"? As- In the top of the fifth, Strouds- and made a diving catch of the semblies are the largest scale of burg scored their lone run when drive; he rolled over twice and any organized enterprise on the Pritchard walked, advanced to sec- made the throw to Gavlick at short campus. Despite some degeneracy, ond on a fielder's choice and scored who relayed it to Trosko to com- assemblies have the possibility for when Trosko failed to handle a plete a double play which ended more sheer "class" than any other difficult chance at first base. Milli- the inning. Davis put the game on campus project. man struck out Sisco to end the ice in the bottom half of the sev- inning. scored The membes of the Assembly Wilkes two runs in enth when he slammed the first the fifth on four on a Committee, Bob Eltus, bases balls, pitch to deep center field for hi Vester Ver- balk, and three singles. Blacken- first home of season. coe, Lou Bonanni, Dave Whitney, run the Al Wallace, Carl Fosko, Jane Car- penter, Sharon Dotter, Jean Helms WILKES and Mike Lewis, will try to fur- BLASTS WYOM!NG SEMINARY ther these ends by methods limited only by their own ingenuity. How- AS BATTERSON PITCHES 7-H1T SHUTOUT ever, the Assembly Committee has several specific functions: The Wilkes baseball team avenged its lone defeat last To name the date when each Tuesday when they swamped the Wyoming Seminary team organization or combination will with ten hits and seven runs present an assembly. while Batterson held them scoreless on seven scattered hits. Wilkes jumped To make available sugges- to a quick lead in the LEADING BASEBALL tions and ideas, and to answer first inning when they collected two runs on singles by - - - Blacken- NEWS BRIEF COLONELS TO VICTORY questions. bush and Batroney and Eddie Davis' double. To notify the administration Kendig pitched the entire game to be in good shape as the team en- Cue 'n' Curtain Club, which was of student assemblies. for the Seminary and was credited ters scheduled to close its seasons ac- To be available both to wel- a tough week with games with the loss. In the third inning scheduled with King's, Scranton U, tivities after the last presenta- come assembly guests and to exe- Batroney drew a base on balls tions of three one-act plays (April cute the formalities of opening and Harpur. which was followed by Davis' home Don Blackenbush is, at the pre- 18 and 19), has announced that an assembly. run. In the seventh Kropiewnicki sent time, sporting a hitting aver- three more plays are to be pre- To utilize constructive cri- walked and scored on 'Manarski's age of .456, a fair average even in sented. Tentative dates for this ticism to make assemblies more triple. Kropiewnicki scored again the inflated averages of college presentation are the 16 and 17 enjoyable. ball. of May. Complete information The examples of controversial in the ninth inning when he tripled and scored on Manarski's single. The first base problem seems to will he given in next week's BEA- issues given by the BEACON's re- be solved. Trosko played the posi- CON. cent poll on the Junior-Senior The Seminary club did not reach tion against Stroudsburg and play- Prom Party and the MacArthur- Batterson for anything stronger ed the bag very well. He made one Truman issues, by the Student than singles and only two men suc- error, that was obviously the re- Council resolutions, and by the ceeded in getting as far as second. sult of inexperience, but the posi- the Colonels ATTEND "terrific wazzie" at the Activities Notes from Camp tion seems to he rather filled with After a slow start, Eddie Davis Banquet last Tuesday night, indi- both Zigmund and Trosko avail- - THE - cate that students could put on has begun to hit with authority. able for duty. debates, round tables, or forums In the last two games he has gone Against Wyoming Seminary last five for ten at and has which would be absorbing to prac- the plate Tuesday Coach Partridge evident- Wikes-Harpur tically everyone. hit two home runs and a double. decided to literally steal the His is ly Of course, participation in as- present batting average .375 game. Manarski, Nicholas, Kro- semblies will voluntary. There- as cuipared to the .285 he was iewnicici and Blackenbush all were be sporting before he began his hit- aebaI1 aiie fore, each group is asked to agree successful in garnering the extra Coach Bob Partridge ting streak. base. at its next meeting to present one When Batterson pitched his shut assembly next year, and to in- out against Wyoming Seminary he Tomorrow form a member of the Assembly presented Coach Partridge with a Committee. In the case of small, problem which most coaches would Follow AT 2 P. M. weak organiaations, the group may be only too happy to have. Both agree to give an assembly in co- Milliman and Zigmund are well operation with another group. rested for Saturday's game with * In some cases, the Assembly Harpur. Molley and Sikora haven't The Baseball Committee may specify the type pitched since April 21, and they of assembly to be given. Next year, are both available for relief assign- pep rallies (by the cheerleaders, ments, so the pitching staff seems Colonels in Kirby Park band, and Crash Crew, student discussions and student entertain- ers) will add to the outside speak- THETA DELTA RHO OFFICERS CLOSING TERMS ers.

JORDAN Est. 1871 Men's Furnishings and 1-lats of Quality **

9 West Market Street Joe Deschak Wilkes-Barre, Pa. NOTCE!

Student Council elections will CRAFTSME\ be conducted in Chase Hall next Thursday from 10 to 2. E\GRAVERS * 20 North State Street, I GAVE .LIOD! Wjlkes-Barre, Pa. ID YOU? Phone 3-3151 Left to right: May Way, Joyce NobeL Dean 1-lurker, Virginia Bolen, Mrs. Davis, Lucille PDF compression, OCR,I Reese web and optimization Kay Read. using a watermarked evaluation copy of CVISION PDFCompressor WTTJCF.S COLLEGE BEACON Friday, May 4, 1951

- by - CHUCK GLOMAN

WELL. MOVIE LOVERS, IT'S ALMOST VACATION TIME.. . WHEN A YOUNG WOMAN'S FANCY TURNS LIGHTLY TO THOUGHTS OFHOUSECLEANING. SERIOUSLY. THOUGH. YOU CAN ACTUALLY FEEL THE CAREFREE LEISURE OF SUMMER IN THE AIR THESE DAYS. JUST THIS MORNING. IT WAS SO WARM THAT I SAW A DOG CHASING A RABBITAND THEY WERE BOTH WALKING! ANYWAY. STUDENTS. FINISH YOUR GLASS OF HADACOL AND WE'LL CRITICALLY SCRUTINIZE THE LATEST. STUPENDOUS. COLOSSAL TRASH FROM HOLLYWOOD: " IDLE ROOMERS- A Corn- cooking?" munist-produced propaganda film "This soup tastes like the hot- about two roomers who have ab- torn of the English Channel!" he solutely nothing to do, this stir- replies. ring example of poor direction When asked the secret of his stars Justa Red, Wotta Slov, Ima outstanding successes in the mo- Pictured above is Homer, shortly before he visited Genstitt, and Nomore Stalin in tion picture industry, director No- the Bloodmobile. their most disgusting roles, see m u r m u r e d philosophically, The poorly filmed tragedy be "Whenever I feel like giving up, gins in a deeply emotional scene I think of that inspiring proverb HOMER BONES CONTRIBUTES QUOTA in which the hero's teeth fall out 'Don't be discouraged. Think of while he is playing tennis. He loses the mighty oak. It was once a nut TO RED CROSS BLOODMOBILE DRIVE the set. like you.' " Homer's Going Presently, the feeble production The tarented director expressed Homer Bones, patriotic to his very wire, scampered toward is lifted to fabulous heights by his disgust for present-day econo- Bloodmobile was on - to the - captivating Chase Theater when he heard that the a dream sequence in mic conditions. campus. "No pounding the typewriter for me today," he said. w h i c h the glamorous ieroine "High prices are driving me "My country calls. I've heard the nurses are good looking, too." (Wotta Sbov) warbles to her lover nuts!" he shouted. "Why, do you Square Dance the tender romantic ballad "She realize the cost of living has gone "Step right this way, my good Two days later, Mighty Homer Wanted To Wear Mother's Bustle man," said the happy host as he was still talking - - - "So I sez, MAY 11-TH up $4 a quart!" much blood do ya But She Didn't Have The Guts Now, the fabulous movie maker sidestepped a stretcher going out. 'Doc', I sez 'how Donor" need?' and he answers '300 pints', - - For It" - or - "People Who Wear is among those in web Thus did Homer "Blood and caught the so I sez 'okay, Doc, you don't have Long Underwear Better Keep of matrimony. He married a sweet Bones begin his great adventure with Red Cross Bloodmobile. to take all of it from these poor Their Trap Shut". young thing 85 years old. It's what the The beaming host ushered our hero anemic souls. Here's my right arm. s you might call a football romance Cinderella Ball Hearing the w e e t, melodic to a chair, eased him into it and Take 150 pints. And you can get strains of the passionate tune, he's waiting for her to kick- other 150 from my left arm'." off. stepped back. A secretary-nurse the MAY 18-TI! Roger Fumble, the hero, realizes quickly filled out his card. Homer that his love for Mabel Whiffle Just last year he signed a con- mumbled replies to the questions. BASEBALL NOTICE! and Clarabelie Collarbutton great- tract to direct the new radio show Bouncing Bones looked up at the ly exceeds that of Griselda Zilch, "Stop The Prizes"they give a- host's smiling face when he heard sister of the heroine's aunt whose way music. If you are a regular the remark "any questions?" Wilkes will meet Harpur listener, you undoubtedly heard Are You? mother-in-law secretly agrees to "Yes, as a matter of fact, er - College Saturday afternoon at marry Fido Johann Sebastian Crapdangle and Crapdangle, Sally's uh - will it hurt?" 2:00 p.m. at Kirby Park. step-brother (while in reality Ger- his Chamber Music Society play "Tut, tut, Homer," said the beam aldine's fourth cousin), to whom his newest compositiona three ing one after a quick name-check Boswell Chaucer, a fish salesman. hour symphonic masterpiece en- on the card. "You won't feel a was smuggling stolen w a t e r- titled "Nosee's Prelude No, 4 In thing'.' He smiled and cast a glance melons through Geoffrey Cobweb, C Minor" or "The Husband Who at the nurse, standing to one side, retired bookbinder, and Sb Ginn Knows Where His Wife Keeps Her who had specialized in mallet tech- of the Royal Mounties. Nickels Has Nothing On The Hus- nique. At this point, t'he plot becomes band Who Knows Where His "Th-that's good. Gee, I hope I slightly confused but justice tri- Maid's Quarters Are". don't faint. I feel wobbly." umphs when Horace Tillsbury, the "Tell me something about your Homer was lifted bodily and dastardly villain who has been background," I .sked him at an placed in another chair. mangling hornets throughout the exclusive Beacon interview just "Oh, Oh," screamed Homer, spot- opening scenes, is bitten in the last week. "For instance, under ting the stethescope, and with that end. what sign of the Zodiac were you he slid beneath the desk. Ignatz Petrillo and his Flea- horn?" "Come out," commanded the host BittenRefugees From World Lit "Under what?" he repeated, coldly, no longer beaming. And in Class have recorded the stirring with raised eyebrows. response to Homer's questioning musical backgrounds for the epic. "I said, under what sign were glance continued, "no, it won't The popular conductor claims that you born?" hurt." he wrote all the music in bed "ROOM FOR RENT. By the "Blo"d pressure, pulse, and tem- it was sheet music. way, I suppose you read in the perature okay," said a nurse. Famous drama critic Tyrone newspapers last week about the 'atpin 'omer followed the beckon- Shapiro said of this mighty drama: accident at our house. The gas ing motions of a bewitching nurse "Shee. Vot a picture!" range exploded and blew my moth- and sat on the edge of the cot indi- And Farnsworth Cradpiliow, in er and father out of the house." cated by the now-determined host. his weakly column for the Tues- "That's terrible," "Okay, Homer, loosen your coll- day Morning Review Of Obscene "Yeh, but it made mother very ar, roll up your sleeves and we'll Literature, declared with savage happy." get to work," cooed the nurse. fury: "Oh, it's pretty good." "Happy?" "Please, you're wilting my collar. ** THE MISSOURI VAULTS- "Yes. It was the first time they And anyway, I'm not that type of fellow. I it a rule to know Starring Harry T o o m a n, Rita had left the house together in make Colby Spo Straworth, Aly Can, Jose Strom- 20 years!" the girl before I take her out. What Colby Coltego boli, Ingrid Mudfender, Wotta Mr. Nosee, who at one time did you say your name was?" Sud- JV,tor,illo, MoMe Flapper and 0. U. Kidd. was such an ardent sociologist denly, Mr. B. remembered his mis- The dramatic tale begins in a that he ate nothing but Southern sion. "W-will it hurt? I-I hope it small, dark, private office in a Freud Chicken, declared: "I've al- d-doesn't." white building, where the hero ways had a good business head. "You won't feel a thing." The (s:killfully portrayed by Harry For instance, just last month I nurse signaled to the mallet spe- Tooman) is seated at his desk, bought a new car for $2000. Then cialist - - - Homer didn't feel at writing a nasty letter to the vil- I traded it for a rowboat which I thing, In Waterville, Maine, there is always lain. It seems that the unscrupu- sold for $210. With the $2110 I of Colby lou villain has voiced uikind com- bought a book and sold it for$26. a friendly gathering ments about the singing of the Last night, I spent the $26 on a College students at the Colby Spa. hero's daughter, so the flustered magazine which I sold for $2.50. hero declares violently, "If you Then, about an hour ago, I spent THE And, as in college campus haunts say a n y t h i n g else about my the $2.50 on a pencil which I am everywhere, ice-cold Coca-Cola daughter I'll punch you in the going to sell for ten cents." nose!" "Mr. Nosee, I hate to tell you BOSTON STORE helps make these get-togethers This educational bit of rot closes this, hut you're losing money." something to remember. As a re- with the entire U.S. Marines chor- "I know that," he exclaimed, us singing "I'm Just Wild About "But look at all the business I'm Men's Shop freshing pause from the study grind, Harry". doing!" or when the gang gathers around MYTRSGHW LKHDNYTQ- has everything for the An exciting foreign film, under Tea Held At Farley's coke belongs. the superb direction of Longtime college man's needs. Nosee, this celluloid masterpiece ,lsk for it either way . . . both English majors and instructors excels in its superbly written dia- from ties to suits. trade-marks mean the same thing. logue. For instance, in the open- of the English department were ing scene the hero exclaims pas- entertained at the home of Presi- BOTTLED UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE COCA-COLA COMPANY BY sionately, "My wife! Ah, my dear dent and Mrs. Eugene Farley on FOWLER, DICK wife! For years 'you've been giv- KEYSTONE COCA-COLA BOTTLING CO. me Monday and Tuesday this week. ing continental cooking." 141 WOOD STREET, WILKES-BARRE, PA. PHONE 2-8795 "R,eally?" she asks timidly. Tea was served from four to six fiND WIILKER PDF"Why compression, do you say it's continental OCR, o'clock web each optimization day. using a watermarked evaluation copy of CVISION PDFCompressor© 1950, The Coca-Cola Company