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Sandspur, Vol 114, No 20, April 04, 2008 University of Central Florida STARS The Rollins Sandspur Newspapers and Weeklies of Central Florida 4-4-2008 Sandspur, Vol 114, No 20, April 04, 2008 Rollins College Find similar works at: https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cfm-sandspur University of Central Florida Libraries http://library.ucf.edu This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Newspapers and Weeklies of Central Florida at STARS. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rollins Sandspur by an authorized administrator of STARS. For more information, please contact [email protected]. STARS Citation Rollins College, "Sandspur, Vol 114, No 20, April 04, 2008" (2008). The Rollins Sandspur. 1857. https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cfm-sandspur/1857 The Oldest College Newspaper in Florida Est. 1894 mMt WINTER PARK, FL 2008 WWW.THES AND SPUR Volume 114 issue 20 Required Breathalyzer NCAA Tournament Provost Casey drops his first test before ordering at rigged by Chinese rap album. Fans go wild, al­ I The Grille. government most as wild as Hannah Mon­ tana fans on page 2. / Fox day . page 3 Hammer pants back page 90 Rollins College voted #1 cancelled due to in style (Oh wait, Most Ghetto-Fabulous page 4 global warming that's not a joke) school in the South page 2 page 5 page 7 Confused? You Should Be. Huge I ffiMMJlMi 1,080 students this fall, and will STEVE SCHWARTZ is called 'Bigger, Better Rollins.' Monejj We could use some bigger and decrease exponentially. the sandspur "How could President better students." *********************************allocated for: Duncan let this happen?" asked Of course, the agenda could an anonymous crazed parent. *Removal of the Campus not have possibly been con­ "It just isn't right. It truly isn't Center fountains "If there is a will, there is a structed on a whim, nor is the right." A disgusted Allie Me- • way," said Rollins College Presi­ plan without precedent. When berg, one of the many planning ^Graffiti clean-up dent Lewis Duncan when asked asked about moving the soccer on leaving after this semester how students are expected to field, Duncan replied, "The soc­ showed as much class as pos­ *Paving the Campus roads handle a $9,500 tuition increase cer field's grass is much easier to effective in the fall. sible regarding the President's water lakeside." agenda during an interview. "Cobblestone sidewalks Recent significant invest­ He was stone-faced after the ments in the renovation of vari­ "Well, it is what it is. The tu­ follow up question regarding ition increase is a little bizarre, *Moving the soccer field to ous Rollins facilities as well as how the school could possibly the summer plan to tear down and the reasons are as well, but where the pool is, the pool need more money for canceling to where the soccer field is, and rebuild McKean Hall have you just have to deal with it." Fox Day. "The faculty has ar­ She paused and later declared and getting rid of Sutton called for a hefty sum from stu­ ranged with the companies that dents. These plans, however, under her breath, "The prez is assist with Fox Day with a 'pay­ are nothing more than the tip of an idiot." *Statues ment in advance' system. Since the iceberg. President Duncan's Everyone will certainly have it has been decided to cancel ^Equipment for Tars foot­ agenda, recently been deemed to make sacrifices in response to Fox Day in the future years, we "Bigger, Better, Snazzier Roll-. the price of tuition. For some, it ball now must pay these companies ins" entails a great deal of other means radically smart budget­ to cancel contracts." *Amoeba extermination sub-plans. ing. For others, it means leaving The number of students the school altogether. Whatever Many students are enraged *Dolphin research center for STEVE SCHWARTZ / the sandspur enrolled in the 2012 class has the consequences for our presi­ by the new plan. "Wait a min­ marine biology majors STAINS: SGA Rep Walker Hamby dropped dramatically from dent's decision, he seems com­ ute, what?" said sophomore 492 to 97. Studies have shown- jwas uncontrollable after word Eric Short, "Dolphins?" Several pletely firm with the plan and that tuition increases of 20 per­ *Dolphins for the new researchabout the new price of tuition, students who struggle to afford confident with Rollins' future. cent for a single year beginning After the interview, he center the tuition as it stands are al­ above $35,000, while virtually ready making plans to transfer. made sure to note one last com­ nonexistent, will drop around 46 ment concerning the outland­ *Fox Day cancellation President Duncan is certainly percent of current enrollment. It unmoved by such threats. "Ev­ ish idea: "Happy belated April is projected that the Rollins Col­ Fools Day." *Text books eryone is replaceable. The plan lege student body will consist of ^fc. The Rollins College Sandspur [email protected] NOOZ April 1,2008 Crazed Hannah Montana fanatics cause stampede TOMMY TAR due to the sensitive legal ramifi­ et holders escalated quickly and One of the bodies identified bers that terrorized the cam­ was that of senior Alex Rad- pus one year ago during Alpha the sandspur cations of the bloodbath. "That the rage was soon focused on was fucked up, I mean we are in the organizers of the event. Stu­ man, who was trampled to Tau Omega's graffiti party. An some deep shit here," the official dents picked up stones from the death. He was at the bottom anonymous Winter Park police­ said, "I can't believe no one saw Walk of Fame and heaved them of the staircase that leads to the man was quoted saying "I l0Ve this coming, I can barely look at through the barricaded windows Writing Center when a flood coming to Rollins whether it be myself in the mirror knowing of the Mills-Building. Soon after, of bodies propelled by their to drag someone's cold clammy On Tuesday, April 1st a large I had a hand in this carnage." a fire broke out in the mail room downward momentum over­ alcohol poisoned body out of gathering of maniacal Han­ Ten minutes after sending the where students were trapped whelmed him. "I'll miss him," McKean or to just use some ex­ nah Montana fans laid siege email, the tickets had been because of a bottle neck going said Erica Leas, his housemate, cessive brute force in a riot situ­ to the Mills building, where claimed and a large gathering up the stairs to the foyer of the "but when I was at the morgue ation. Either way, I'm probably free tickets had been given formed on Mills lawn as well building. Sophomore Andrew identifying the body, I reached gonna ruin some rich kid's day." away to her upcoming on- as in front of the campus center. McLean witnessed the down­ in his jeans and found a ticket, When accosted in person for campus concert. Three were The lucky recipients of the tick­ stairs devastation firsthand say­ so he went down for a cause." comment, President Duncan ran killed, ten were hospitalized ets were met by the bloodthirsty ing "The inferno was madness. Almost immediately, the Winter back into his mansion with a large and thirteen were incarcerated. hands of the mob, and their ela­ I was at the bottom of the stairs, Park police were contacted, but bag over his shoulder, leading The riot broke out after a campus tion about seeing the adolescent so when they collapsed into a their riot squad arrived too late. the reporter to believe that the wide email was sent announcing star quickly turned to fear. "I burning pile of despair, I was Many students remembered disaster was all a front to assure the concert and the ticket give can't believe I survived," said able to fight through the crowd." . some of the riot squad mem­ safe transportation of The Fox. away. Word spread like wildfire Evie Lyras, a sophomore in Chi through Rollins and set ablaze f Omega and one of the few who Right: Staff pho­ the hopes and dreams of mil­ left the fracas with her original lions in the Central Florida area. ticket, "I have seen some pretty tographer Daniel A high ranking official for All sick shit because I'm from Mem­ James caught Campus events was reached but phis, but this was beyond." this picture of the wished to remain anonymous Initial violence towards the tick­ devastation as it occurred. Chilling. Chilling. Left: This Hannah Montana-induced stampede was a threat to motorists and their Peugeots all over Win­ ter Park. Ignore the fact that a Peugeot has no business being in Florida, <xx>o<x><><><x><x>oo<><xxx><><xxxxx>^ Copeland captures hearts and loins of Stetson students positions. As Copeland made song. tempo had built up to create a find you waiting by my side?" their much-anticipated debut, BRITTANY His voice was soft and suc­ bolder and more forceful sound. which is a hot song from their the crowd let out a consistent culent, and his lips shook and Marsh's body no longer rocked 2005 album. STEPHENS roar to show their approval. quivered as he emphasized slowly in tempo with the mu­ By the way the audience the sandspur Then all of the lights in the each and every word. The song sic. Instead, he had progressed swayed in time with the music, building shut off, to leave a solo began to climax, and Marsh's to alternately sitting and stand­ it seemed that they were enjoy­ spotlight illuminating the lead body rocked back and forth in ing up from his bench, thrusting ing themselves, and except for There were hundreds of vocalist, the seductive Aaron perfect synchronization with and swaying his whole body a small amount of audience students stuffed around the Marsh.
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