Don Asmussen In beautiful Santa San FranClara! IIIIIIIIII Limited I’m all Edition I’m all yours! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Levi’s yours! Pay to Play (50) S.F. Mayor: Limited Edition IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Levi’s SB 50 $MMMMCCCL sports jacket: FUN SUPER BOWL FACTS USING ! (Under investigation) $CCCXCV Number of between game, S.F.: XLVI III ($398) (46) SPECIAL Number of dollars per ticket: MMMMMCC ($5,200) EDITION Number of hidden homeless people: MMMI (3,001) Number of NFL concussions in 2015: CCLXXI (271) SUPER Number of dollars made by NFL: MMMMMMMMMCCCCCCLLLL BOWL 50 Costs to S.F. taxpayers: L (Not 50, just Loser!)

FACT: Yes, Super Bowl 50 will hit S.F. with $5 MILLION in hosting costs, FACT: Mayor Lee’s inability to remember why he didn’t ask but did you know the manure needed to resurface LEVI STADIUM’s field the NFL for money has been traced to head trauma sustained is being processed from Mayor Ed Lee’s excuses for not charging the NFL? from repetitive nodding to ’s requests ... Mayor’s Statements Granulated for Playing Field Mayor’s Concussion From Nodding to NFL

Soil experts noticed that Mayor Ed Lee’s various excuses for not When Mayor Ed Lee agreed to get rid of the city’s asking for NFL compensation for hosting Super Bowl 50 contained homeless and restructure Muni bus wires in quick many of the nutrients in the manure needed to improve the poor succession, his brain may have impacted his skull. playing field at Levi’s Stadium (saving over $49.09). Levi’s Ed Lee’s brain Stadium YES

YES

NFL Commish Horizontal mixer Squeezing granulator Screening machine Roger Goodell

FACT: Those “Super Bowl 50” statues all over our city are VERY REPULSIVE, FACT: In an effort to prove that SUPER BOWL 50 is the but did you know they’re filled with CANDY COINS to lure the homeless away “most giving Super Bowl ever,” the Panthers’ All-Pro from SUPER BOWL CITY? During Super Bowl week, EVERYBODY’S a winner! offers to help a growing Bay Area problem.

Tear statue here NFL Donates Over 600 Starts ‘CAM for CAMS’ Charity* Candy Coins to Homeless Realizing the homeless have little need for real money, the NFL has placed 12 statues, each filled with 50 candy coins, around the city to feed our needy! F O CAM R CAMS

50 FREE CANDY COINS *For every concussion that occurs during Super Bowl 50, the NFL will donate $50 to BART in their efforts to make all BART cams functional! [email protected]