DOCSLIB.ORG

Polyamory and Its 'Others': Contesting the Terms of Non-Monogamy

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Polyamory and Its 'Others': Contesting the Terms of Non-Monogamy 04 069986 Klesse (to_d) 6/11/06 8:40 am Page 565 Article Abstract Drawing on qualitative in-depth interviews with bisexual-identified practitioners of polyamory in the UK, this article shows that love, intimacy and friendship are salient themes in polyamory discourses. An exploration of the question of how respondents define polyamory with regard to different ‘styles of non-monogamy’ reveals that the boundaries of polyamory are contested within the movement that has formed around this concept. The prevalent definition of polyamory as ‘responsible non-monogamy’ usually goes hand in hand with a rejection of more sex- or pleasure-centred forms of non-monogamy, such as ‘casual sex’, ‘swinging’, or ‘promiscuity’. The author argues that the salience of the relational ideologies of love and intimacy hampers the potential of polyamory to ground a truly pluralistic sexual ethics. Keywords friendship, intimacy, love, polyamory, promiscuity Christian Klesse Manchester Metropolitan University, UK Polyamory and its ‘Others’: Contesting the Terms of Non-Monogamy In the years between 1997 and 2003 I researched gay male and bisexual non-monogamous relationship practices in the UK. One of my major research interests was to explore what discourses on non-monogamy circulate within the debates on sexual politics in the gay male and bisexual movements. I deployed a combination of qualitative methods, inclusive of qualitative interviews, focus groups, documentary research, participant observation, and discourse analysis. I conducted 44 interviews with gay men, bisexual men and women with significant experience in non- monogamous relationship practice.1 About the half of my sample consisted of gay-identified men. The other half identified as bisexual or lived in a bisexual context. I interviewed 10 bisexual-identified men, including two transmen, and one heterosexual-identified man. Ten Sexualities Copyright © 2006 SAGE Publications (London, Thousand Oaks, CA and New Delhi) Vol 9(5): 565–583 DOI: 10.1177/1363460706069986 http://sex.sagepub.com Downloaded from sex.sagepub.com at KOBE UNIV on April 5, 2016 04 069986 Klesse (to_d) 6/11/06 8:40 am Page 566 Sexualities 9(5) bisexual-identified women and one lesbian-identified woman participated in the study. I further conducted four focus groups with gay and bisexual men. My study shares a problem with other research into sexuality in that the vast majority of participants were white subjects of dominant ethnic- ity with a middle-class background. I interpret this bias as a result of my own privileged social positioning as a white, high-educated, middle-class academic researching in a context marked by deep social divisions (cf. Phoenix, 1994).2 Although the term polyamory has been around for a few decades, it is not yet widely known in the UK and the European continent. Whereas polyamory has provided the reference point for a significant social movement in the USA for some decades (see Rust, 1996; Munson and Stelboum, 1999a; Sheff, 2005), the social networks that have formed around polyamory in the UK are still quite small (see Barker, 2005). However, for a few years, seeds for a movement have originated from within the intersections of a range of subcultures, including the bisexual and BDSM scenes, the Pagan and new age movements, computer enthu- siasts, the Science Fiction Fan scenes, and political or countercultural groups committed to communal living. From within this diverse context, a small group of activists has started to do campaigning work around polyamorous relationship practices. Although polyamory is not essentially linked to any particular sexual identity, a significant part of the UK polyamory scene seems to consist of bisexuals or – as one of my interview partners3 put it – ‘heteroflexibles’. It is not surprising, therefore, that polyamory emerged as one of the most significant discourses on non- monogamy used by bisexual-identified participants in my study.4 In this article I present polyamory as a specific – even if contested – discourse on non-monogamy. In the first part of the article, I carve out some of its dominant elements or themes. I foreground the centrality of love to definitions of polyamory and show that as a discourse it blurs the boundaries between the sexual and non-sexual and partnership and friendship. In the second part, I explore how my interview partners define polyamory with regard to other ‘styles of non-monogamy’. Polyamory is frequently distinguished from casual sex and swinging. I argue that in particular its definition as ‘responsible non-monogamy’ has repercussions for the representation of more sex- or pleasure-centred forms of non-monogamy. In the third part of the article, I argue that a representational politics based upon a distinction between the ‘good polyamorist’ and the ‘bad swinger’ or the ‘promiscuous queer’ hampers the potential of polyamory discourses for grounding a truly pluralistic sexual ethics that may embrace the diversity of non-monogamous sexual and intimate practices. 566 Downloaded from sex.sagepub.com at KOBE UNIV on April 5, 2016 04 069986 Klesse (to_d) 6/11/06 8:40 am Page 567 Klesse Polyamory and its ‘Others’ What’s in a term? The concept polyamory Polyamory it is a contested term. Its concrete meanings have been an issue of ongoing debate. Charles talks about the difficulties within the UK polyamory scene in coming up with a consensus on a definition for the purpose of getting an entry included in the Oxford English Dictionary. Charles: There seems to be a lot of discussion about exactly what it means, because it seems to be a manufactured word. You won’t find it in the diction- ary, but at the moment they’re looking for new words for the Oxford English Dictionary. They’re trying to get polyamory in as one of the new words. They’re having a big problem actually trying to nail down exactly what a defi- nition of it is, because there’s a lot of disagreement about [it] . I suppose it’s good to distinguish it clearly, just in one word. If everyone wants to agree, it would be multiple relationships. It’s good to make polyamory more specific, about more emotional relationships. It’s loving relationships. I suppose it may not have to be physical relationships even. Charles emphasizes the conflicts about the meaning of polyamory. He believes that the definition ‘multiple relationships’ probably is the least controversial. He then goes on to suggest his own interpretation in which he describes polyamorous relationships as emotional, loving and not necessarily sexual relationships. His definition converges with that of his partner Marianne. She explains the etymological roots of the word as follows: Marianne: Polyamory is . well it’s a new word really . It comes from the Greek word ‘poly’ meaning many and then the Latin word, the Latin bit is ‘amory’. I guess they went for the mixture of Greek and Latin, because the all- Greek version would be polyphilia, and philias are usually things like necrophilia and paedophilia, things that are associated by the public with being bad. And of course there was already the word polyandry and polygamy, meaning many husbands or many wives. So I guess that’s how the word came about. But people, who identify as polyamorous believe in the idea of more than one relationship, meaning more than one love relationship. And they don’t even have to be sexual. Love is central to the discourses on polyamory. This is clearly revealed in an analysis of the etymological roots of the term. Marianne’s speculations about the reasons for the combination of Latin and Greek elements are also quite illuminating, because they point to a concern with the creation of a ‘nice’ word that cannot easily be subsumed to a canon of pathologizing sexological terms. The notion of non-sexual partnership endorsed by Charles and Marianne is a specific feature of polyamory discourses. While Charles suggests that this definition is not necessarily shared by all polyamorists, it was a quite common emphasis in my interviewees’ narratives. 567 Downloaded from sex.sagepub.com at KOBE UNIV on April 5, 2016 04 069986 Klesse (to_d) 6/11/06 8:40 am Page 568 Sexualities 9(5) Polyamory – a love song With the Latin part of the word polyamory meaning ‘love’ and the Greek part meaning ‘many’, polyamory literally translates into ‘many loves’ or ‘more than one love’. With slight differences in phrasing, it is possible to find this kind of definition in almost all publications on polyamory (e.g. Lano and Parry, 1995; Anapol, 1997; Anderlini-D’Onofrio, 2004a). As I have already shown, the emphasis of love frequently correlates with a de- emphasis of sexuality. As a discourse endorsing love, polyamory can easily be integrated with other philosophies of love. Thus, it is the significance of love within polyamory that makes it possible for Marianne to reconcile non-monogamy with her Christian beliefs (cf. Goss, 2004). While certainly not all polyamorists are religious, some Christian groups promote this concept, and some authors claim that the term originated in certain spiri- tualist contexts (Anapol, 1997: 5, 127; Anderlini-D’Onofrio, 2004c). Irrespective of belief, some of my interview partners clearly welcome the de-emphasis on sexuality in the definition of polyamory. Andy, who is very confident with his sexuality and who strongly politicizes bisexual identity, explains that he would prefer the term polyamorous over the identity label bisexual, because ‘bisexuality’ puts too strong an emphasis on sexuality. Andy: It’s always got this sexual bit there, hasn’t it? And . my sexuality isn’t always about my sex life. My relationship also, as I said before, can be sexual, but polyamory is more to do with affection. Most polyamorists used the term ‘partner’ to refer to their multiple relationships of varying degrees of intimate closeness or commitment.
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Sexual and Nonsexual Behavioral Signs of Child Sexual Abuse*
    CSA Workshop Handout 6 Page | 1 SEXUAL AND NONSEXUAL BEHAVIORAL SIGNS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE* You should be more suspicious of sexual abuse when a child displays several signs, especially a combination of sexual and nonsexual signs. SEXUAL SIGNS Sexual signs are generally higher probability signs; in other words, these signs mean it is more likely that the child was sexually abused. Lower probability signs may indicate the child was sexually abused, but the child may display these signs for reasons other than sexual abuse. Sexual signs vary somewhat depending on the child’s age and development. The signs are divided into those likely to be found in younger children (10 years of age or under) who have been sexually abused, and older children (over the age of 10) who have been sexually abused. It is important to remember that this is somewhat arbitrary because within these two age ranges there are children at very different levels of development. SEXUAL BEHAVIORS FOUND IN YOUNGER CHILDREN Signs of Sexual Knowledge Not Ordinarily Possessed by Young Children The following are very strong signs that a child has been sexually abused because young children generally do not have the sexual knowledge to do the following: Sexual behavior with other people. Sexual aggression toward younger or more naive children. By behaving in this way, the child is identifying with the abuser. Aggressive or playful sexual behavior with peers. Such behavior indicates the child experienced a degree of pleasure from the abusive activity. Sexual invitations to older persons. This behavior suggests the child expects and accepts sexual activity as a way of relating to adults.
    [Show full text]
  • Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence
    Columbia Law School Scholarship Archive Faculty Scholarship Faculty Publications 2004 Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence Elizabeth F. Emens Columbia Law School, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/faculty_scholarship Part of the Family Law Commons, Law and Gender Commons, Law and Society Commons, Legal History Commons, Sexuality and the Law Commons, and the Supreme Court of the United States Commons Recommended Citation Elizabeth F. Emens, Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence, 29 N.Y.U. REV. L. & SOC. CHANGE 277 (2004). Available at: https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/faculty_scholarship/410 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Faculty Publications at Scholarship Archive. It has been accepted for inclusion in Faculty Scholarship by an authorized administrator of Scholarship Archive. For more information, please contact [email protected]. MONOGAMY'S LAW: COMPULSORY MONOGAMY AND POLYAMOROUS EXISTENCE' ELIZABETH F. EMENSt I. Introdu ction .................................................................................................. 2 78 II. Com pulsory M onogam y ............................................................................... 287 A . M onogam y's M andate ....................................................................... 287 1. The Western Romance Tradition ................................................. 288 2. Stories from Biological Anthropology .......................................
    [Show full text]
  • LGBTQ America: a Theme Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer History Is a Publication of the National Park Foundation and the National Park Service
    Published online 2016 www.nps.gov/subjects/tellingallamericansstories/lgbtqthemestudy.htm LGBTQ America: A Theme Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer History is a publication of the National Park Foundation and the National Park Service. We are very grateful for the generous support of the Gill Foundation, which has made this publication possible. The views and conclusions contained in the essays are those of the authors and should not be interpreted as representing the opinions or policies of the U.S. Government. Mention of trade names or commercial products does not constitute their endorsement by the U.S. Government. © 2016 National Park Foundation Washington, DC All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reprinted or reproduced without permission from the publishers. Links (URLs) to websites referenced in this document were accurate at the time of publication. THEMES The chapters in this section take themes as their starting points. They explore different aspects of LGBTQ history and heritage, tying them to specific places across the country. They include examinations of LGBTQ community, civil rights, the law, health, art and artists, commerce, the military, sports and leisure, and sex, love, and relationships. MAKING COMMUNITY: THE PLACES AND15 SPACES OF LGBTQ COLLECTIVE IDENTITY FORMATION Christina B. Hanhardt Introduction In the summer of 2012, posters reading "MORE GRINDR=FEWER GAY BARS” appeared taped to signposts in numerous gay neighborhoods in North America—from Greenwich Village in New York City to Davie Village in Vancouver, Canada.1 The signs expressed a brewing fear: that the popularity of online lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) social media—like Grindr, which connects gay men based on proximate location—would soon replace the bricks-and-mortar institutions that had long facilitated LGBTQ community building.
    [Show full text]
  • Understanding Marriage and Families Across Time and Place M01 ESHL8740 12 SE C01.QXD 9/14/09 5:28 PM Page 3
    M01_ESHL8740_12_SE_C01.QXD 9/14/09 5:28 PM Page 2 part I Understanding Marriage and Families across Time and Place M01_ESHL8740_12_SE_C01.QXD 9/14/09 5:28 PM Page 3 chapter 1 Defining the Family Institutional and Disciplinary Concerns Case Example What Is a Family? Is There a Universal Standard? What Do Contemporary Families Look Like? Ross and Janet have been married more than forty-seven years. They have two chil- dren, a daughter-in-law and a son-in-law, and four grandsons. Few would dispute the notion that all these members are part of a common kinship group because all are related by birth or marriage. The three couples involved each got engaged, made a public announcement of their wedding plans, got married in a religious ceremony, and moved to separate residences, and each female accepted her husband’s last name. Few would question that each of these groups of couples with their children constitutes a family, although a question remains as to whether they are a single family unit or multiple family units. More difficult to classify are the families of Vernon and Jeanne and their chil- dren. Married for more than twenty years, Vernon and Jeanne had four children whom have had vastly different family experiences. Their oldest son, John, moved into a new addition to his parents’ house when he was married and continues to live there with his wife and three children. Are John, his wife, and his children a separate family unit, or are they part of Vernon and Jeanne’s family unit? The second child, Sonia, pursued a career in marketing and never married.
    [Show full text]
  • The Relationship Between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity
    Athens Journal of Social Sciences- Volume 4, Issue 4 – Pages 385-398 The Relationship between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity By Ricardo Pinto † Joana Arantes The main aim of the present study is to relate, for the first time, the sexual and emotional sides of infidelity, that is characterized by any form of close physical or emotional involvement with another person while in a committed relationship with promiscuity, which is typically defined by the search for the maximum sexual pleasure or how easily and often someone falls in love. Another aim was to investigate potential sex differences within both domains. For that, 369 participants (92 males and 277 females) answered to an online questionnaire that collected information about infidelity and promiscuity. More specifically, participants were asked to complete the revised Sociosexual Orientation Inventory (SOI-R), the Emotional Promiscuity (EP) Scale, and the Sexual and Emotional Infidelity (SEI) scale. In addition, some sociodemographic questions, as well as history of infidelity questions, were also asked. The analyses included Pearson correlations, ANOVA and t-tests. Results show that all domains are related, specifically sexual and emotional infidelity with sexual and emotional promiscuity. Keywords: Emotional promiscuity, Emotional infidelity, Sex differences, Sexual infidelity, Sexual promiscuity. Introduction In a world where infidelity and promiscuity are increasingly experienced (Brand et al. 2007, Jones and Paulhus 2012), few studies have focused on their emotional and sexual domains. The infidelity and the promiscuity can have an important impact on individuals and on intimate relationships (Silva et al. n.d., Vangelisti and Gerstenberger 2004). For example, the infidelity is one of the most common reasons for divorce and couple therapy (Glass and Wright 1992).
    [Show full text]
  • Age and Sexual Consent
    Per Se or Power? Age and Sexual Consent Joseph J. Fischel* ABSTRACT: Legal theorists, liberal philosophers, and feminist scholars have written extensively on questions surrounding consent and sexual consent, with particular attention paid to the sorts of conditions that validate or vitiate consent, and to whether or not consent is an adequate metric to determine ethical and legal conduct. So too, many have written on the historical construction of childhood, and how this concept has influenced contemporary legal culture and more broadly informed civil society and its social divisions. Far less has been written, however, on a potent point of contact between these two fields: age of consent laws governing sexual activity. Partially on account of this under-theorization, such statutes are often taken for granted as reflecting rather than creating distinctions between adults and youth, between consensual competency and incapacity, and between the time for innocence and the time for sex. In this Article, I argue for relatively modest reforms to contemporary age of consent statutes but propose a theoretic reconstruction of the principles that inform them. After briefly historicizing age of consent statutes in the United States (Part I), I assert that the concept of sexual autonomy ought to govern legal regulations concerning age, age difference, and sexual activity (Part II). A commitment to sexual autonomy portends a lowered age of sexual consent, decriminalization of sex between minors, heightened legal supervision focusing on age difference and relations of dependence, more robust standards of consent for sex between minors and between minors and adults, and greater attention to the ways concerns about age, age difference, and sex both reflect and displace more normatively apt questions around gender, gendered power and submission, and queer sexuality (Part III).
    [Show full text]
  • A Personal Construct Psychology Perspective on Sexual Identity
    A personal construct psychology perspective on sexual identity Item Type Thesis Authors Morano, Laurie Ann Download date 24/09/2021 18:24:25 Link to Item http://hdl.handle.net/20.500.12648/718 A PERSONAL CONSTRUCT PSYCHOLOGY PERSPECTIVE ON SEXUAL IDENTITY A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY OF THE STATE UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK AT NEW PALTZ IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF SCIENCE IN MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING By Laurie Ann Morano November 2007 Notice: Signature Page Not Included This thesis has been signed and approved by the appropriate parties. The signature page has been removed from this digital version for privacy reasons. The signature page is maintained as part of the official version of the thesis in print that is kept in Special Collections of Sojourner Truth Library at SUNY New Paltz. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank Dr. Jonathan Raskin for his patience and unwavering support during this process. I would also like to express my deepest gratitude to my love, Kristina. You knew just when to push me to work and just when to keep quiet when I should have been working, but was not – it was a fine line, but you walked it perfectly. Thank you to all my friends and family that believed I would finish this one day. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS I. Acknowledgements……………………………………………….iii II. Abstract……………………………………………………………vi III. Introduction………………………………………………………...1 A Personal Construct Psychology Perspective on Sexual Identity ………………………………………………………………….1 IV. Homosexual Identity Development Models……………………….4 Plummer’s Interactionist Account of Male Homosexuality…...7 Ponse’s Theory of Lesbian Identity Development……………..9 Cass’s Theory of Homosexual Identity Formation…………….11 Troiden’s Ideal-Typical Model of Homosexual Identity Formation ………………………………………………………………….14 V.
    [Show full text]
  • Commentary Unprotected: Condoms, Bareback Porn, and the First Amendment
    Commentary Unprotected: Condoms, Bareback Porn, and the First Amendment Bailey J. Langnert ABSTRACT In November 2012, Los Angeles County voters passed Measure B, or the Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act. Measure B mandated condom use by all porn performers in adult films produced within county borders and created a complex regulatory process for adult film producers that included permitting, mandatory public health trainings, and warrantless administrative searches. Shortly after its passage, Vivid Entertainment filed a lawsuit to enjoin the enforcement of Measure B, arguing that the Measure violated their First Amendment right to portray condomless sex in porn. In December 2014, the Ninth Circuit upheld the district court's decision upholding the constitutionality of Measure B. Notably, the mainstream discourse surrounding the Measure B campaign, as well as the legal arguments put forth in the lawsuit, focused exclusively on straight pornography while purporting to represent all porn. As a result, an entire genre of condomless pornography went unrepresented in the discussion: bareback porn, which portrays intentional unprotected anal sex between men. Excluding bareback porn from the lawsuit represented a missed opportunityfor Vivid in its challenge of Measure B. There are several political messages underlying bareback porn unique to that genre that might have resulted in the t The author received a law degree from the University of California, Berkeley, School of Law (Boalt Hall) in 2015. As a law student, the author worked as a Teaching Assistant in the First Year Legal Writing Program and served as a Senior Board Member of the Boalt Hall Women's Association.
    [Show full text]
  • Homophobia and Transphobia Illumination Project Curriculum
    Homophobia and Transphobia Illumination Project Curriculum Andrew S. Forshee, Ph.D., Early Education & Family Studies Portland Community College Portland, Oregon INTRODUCTION Homophobia and transphobia are complicated topics that touch on core identity issues. Most people tend to conflate sexual orientation with gender identity, thus confusing two social distinctions. Understanding the differences between these concepts provides an opportunity to build personal knowledge, enhance skills in allyship, and effect positive social change. GROUND RULES (10­15 minutes) Materials: chart paper, markers, tape. Due to the nature of the topic area, it is essential to develop ground rules for each student to follow. Ask students to offer some rules for participation in the post­performance workshop (i.e., what would help them participate to their fullest). Attempt to obtain a group consensus before adopting them as the official “social contract” of the group. Useful guidelines include the following (Bonner Curriculum, 2009; Hardiman, Jackson, & Griffin, 2007): Respect each viewpoint, opinion, and experience. Use “I” statements – avoid speaking in generalities. The conversations in the class are confidential (do not share information outside of class). Set own boundaries for sharing. Share air time. Listen respectfully. No blaming or scapegoating. Focus on own learning. Reference to PCC Student Rights and Responsibilities: http://www.pcc.edu/about/policy/student­rights/student­rights.pdf DEFINING THE CONCEPTS (see Appendix A for specific exercise) An active “toolkit” of terminology helps support the ongoing dialogue, questioning, and understanding about issues of homophobia and transphobia. Clear definitions also provide a context and platform for discussion. Homophobia: a psychological term originally developed by Weinberg (1973) to define an irrational hatred, anxiety, and or fear of homosexuality.
    [Show full text]
  • Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape
    Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape INTRODUCTION II. Storge Love is ambiguous in the English language. A. This is natural affection—family, kin, the There is “Strawberry Shortcake Love.” We love humblest of loves. We love each other simply cats, dogs, and ice cream. This is trite and with- because we are of the family. B. It is negative in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy out depth or permanence. There is “Aunt Minnie 3:3, used regarding homosexuals. Love” which is reserved for “special” people C. It is used in withdrawal in 2 Timothy 3:14, 15. who are sweet and lovable. Sometimes it is con- Withdrawal is not excommunication, put- descending. There is “Bowling Team Love” for ting one out of the church. It is what it says, “buddies” in a reciprocal way. Moderns do not withdrawal of fellowship. zero in on “Tough Love.” So there is a Greek word study. However, the III. Phileo Bible is not learned in a seminary; it is learned A. This is tender affection and brotherly love. out on the street with people in local work. (Philadelphia is the city of “brotherly love.”) Footnotes will not preach. Also, the Bible must B. However, sometimes we make too clear a not be reduced to word studies. You can get so distinction between phileo and agape. Be care- ful. There are surprises. Read Titus 2:3, 4; far out on a limb looking at a leaf you forget the Romans 12:9, 10; 1 Corinthians 16:22; He- tree. Word studies can be helpful, but they can brews 13:1; John 16:27; and 1 Peter 1:22.
    [Show full text]
  • Psychoanalytic Conceptions of Marriage and Marital Relationships 381 Been Discussing, Since These Figures Are Able to Reanimate Pictures of Their Mother Or Father
    UNIVERSITY OF NIŠ The scientific journal FACTA UNIVERSITATIS Series: Philosophy and Sociology Vol.2, No 7, 2000 pp. 379 - 389 Editor of series: Gligorije Zaječaranović Address: Univerzitetski trg 2, 18000 Niš, YU Tel: +381 18 547-095, Fax: +381 18 547-950 PSYCHOANALYTIC CONCEPTIONS OF MARRIAGE AND MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS UDC 159.964.28+173.1+340.61 Zorica Marković University of Niš, Faculty of Philosophy, Niš, Yugoslavia Abstract. This work disclusses marital types and merital relationships as by several psychoanalysts: Sigmund Freud, Annie Reich, Helene Deutch, Knight Aldrich and Bela Mittelman. It analyzes kinds of relations hips, dynamics of interaction and inner mechanisms of interaction.Comparing marital types of the mentioned authors it can be seen that there is agreement among them and that they mainly represent further elaboration and "topic variation" of the basic marital types which are discussed by Sigmund Freud: anaclictic and narcissistic.Also, it can be concluded that all analysed marital types possess several common characteristics: 1. they are defined by relationships in childhood with parents or other important persons with whom a child was in touch; 2. dynamics of partner relationships is defined by unconscious motives; 3. same kinds of relationships and same type of partner selection a person repeats in all further attempts in spite of the fact that it does not give satisfactory results. Key words: psychoanalysis, marriage, partner, choice, relationships According to Si gmund Fr e ud , the founder of psychoanalysis, marital partner choice, as well as marital relationships, are defined much before marriage was concluded. Relationship with marital partner is determined by relationships with parents and important persons in one's childhood.
    [Show full text]
  • Marriage in Christ Seminar Follow up Gatherings
    Marriage in Christ Seminar Follow Up Gatherings 1 Contents Simple Instructions ......................................................................................................................... 3 Ordinary life in Christ: “It’s about the little things.” ...................................................................... 4 Protecting Unity by Negotiating Differences ................................................................................. 5 Thinking the Best: Part One ............................................................................................................ 7 Thinking the Best, Part Two ........................................................................................................... 8 The Story of Mother Gerda ............................................................................................................. 9 2 Simple Instructions Schedule about 1 – 1½ hours Gathering Opening prayer Food and conversation o Simple, e.g., potluck, dessert and coffee, wine and cheese, simple brunch, etc. o Sharing about how things have gone for the past several weeks. Share bright spots Highlights of the last week or two Changes that have occurred over time Break into discussion groups o Read the discussion topic (topics can be found on the alumni page of the website) o Discuss the questions Get back together o When do we want to meet next? o Agree to keep praying, talking and acting in your marriages Final Prayer 3 Ordinary life in Christ: “It’s about the little things.” As God's chosen ones,
    [Show full text]