HONI SOIT

Profiles of a Sex Worker 7 A New Poem from Clive James 10 Freedom Rides, Fifty Years On 12-15 Pop To Popism, Full of Hot Air 20 The editors ofHoni Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. is written,

printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. If you are reading this, you are standing on Aboriginal land. Please recognise and respect this.

We acknowledge both our privilege and our obligation to redress the situation as best we can: to remember the mistakes of the past, act on the

problems of today, and build for a future for everyone who calls this place home, striving always for practical and meaningful reconciliation. Contents

4: News 10: Profile 18-19: First-Person: Max Hall on the station at Victoria Park. Clive James gifts us an original poem and an Riki Scanlan, Elle Triantafillou, and Joanna Connolly on strife at the Redfern Tent interview . Anonymous tell their stories. Embassy. 11: Shareeka Helaluddin on Dear White People. 20-21: Arts & Culture 6: In Too Deep Alix Sanders-Garner dredges Pop To Popism and Tim Asimakis is undercover with pick-up artists. 12-15: Freedom Rides Imogen Gardam questions the lack of female Honi Soit records the story of the 50th Anniversary representation in film. 7: Ongoing Freedom Rides. Isabelle Comber and Anonymous give their 22-23: Mary Ward on How To Ride a Bus for Two Hours. accounts of sexuality online. 16-17: Shit, Eat, Fuck Gronkwatch on a USU Cabcharge Scandal. Honi’s guide to the best amenities on campus. 8-9: O-Week Special 29-31: The Garter Press makes a triumphant return. Honi Soit on advice we’re obliged to give. Patrick Morrow on the USU’s Corporate Culture. Editorial

ypically, these O-Week editorials are meant to of you thinking the same: please do.2 That just as the snake will never devour its own head, the restart the conversation about Honi Soit.1 They’re newspaper won’t—can’t!—exhaust its possibility.4 usuallyT written by someone burdened by a particular We’re open for consultation in our offices beneath the dislike of the past editors, and are by and large composed Wentworth Building on Wednesdays between 11am and Over the holidays, our printing press liquidated, our of a middling kind of rebuttal-cum-prospectus; a vapid 1pm, or you can email us at [email protected]. We’ll offices were closed for renovation, and we received a attempt at excising the past while setting the table for publish anything on the proviso it’s good. not-insignificant number of legal threats. It’s February the future… now and we’re still here: new printers the same, if a little As for our logo, we’ve gone with a snake eating itself,3 more expensive; offices the same, if a little more nicely The challenge we’ve set for ourselves this year is to which, depending on your view, means either: painted; legal threats still steadily coursing in. Things I represent the same kaleidoscope of experience in our thought would scuttle us have sailed by. Same, but kind paper as you will experience in your time at university. That Honi, for all its O-Week promises of revolution, is a of different, right? Our prospectus, if we have one, is to present with fidelity broadly recurring variation on a theme—same but kind of Peter Walsh as many voices we can find. Last week, a number of people different, ad infinitum; or: found our website by googling “Honi Soit join”, and to any 4. You could probably also say something about the snake 2. Admittedly, we also got found by “does crystal meth have shedding its skin each year, which, I imagine Honi does as well, 1. “What conversation?” opines loudly the person who reads magnet or electricity in it”, no question mark. but even entertaining this metaphor makes me want to beat the newspaper as a means of raising their blood pressure. 3. It previously devoured an Ibis, but is still hungry. myself up.

Credits

Editor-in-Chief: Peter Walsh Cover art: Pattern generated from the art of Steve Artists/Illustrators: Bryant Apolonio, Stephanie Yeowell, in 2000 AD Showcase #31, October 1, 1988. Barahona, Phoebe Corleone, Samuel McEwen, Monica Editors: Tim Asimakis, Joanna Connolly, Alex Downie, Renn Dominic Ellis, Sophie Gallagher, Samantha Jonscher, Contributors: Marley Benz, Isabelle Comber, Evelyn Patrick Morrow, Alexi Polden, Rebecca Wong, Lisa Xia Corr, Max Hall, Imogen Gardam, Shareeka Helaluddin, Puzzles: Zplig Andy Mason, Luca Moretti, Alix Sanders-Garner, Riki Scanlan, Elle Triantafillou, Lauren Pearce, Mary Ward

Disclaimer: Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of , Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Christopher Warren, Serena May, James Rusiti, Ilya Klauzner, Charlie O’Grady, and Alison Xiao. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. letters A Letter To My Past Self

Lauren Pearce writes for those who didn’t come from feeder schools - and for those who did.

Lauren, you’ve ever done. You never belonged here. You never will. Life is hard. But it’s also wonderful. Over the next three years you’ll meet amazing We need to get one thing straight: your life You’re going to be the student from a You’ll get to the end of semester and get people, become the Vice-president and is going to suck for the next six months. public school in every single one of your average marks for the first time in a very then President of a certain little Society, classes. And you’re going to hear stuff long time. And you’ll wonder what it’s all hold in your hands the first issue of a Students often find their first semester to that’s going to surprise you. I’m sure for. Why drive yourself half to death just literary journal you helped establish, watch be their worst. You’re no exception. The people don’t really mean to be like that. to disappoint the few people who thought a play that you’ve written come together trains don’t come anywhere near often Some of my highlights were: the student you would be great? before your eyes. You’ll work harder, stay enough. To get to that 9am tutorial, you’re who asked me if Macquarie Fields was up longer, cry, laugh, and love like you going to have to get up at six. And you near Macquarie University, and why I You’ll think about dropping out. Or never have before. won’t get a seat. Don’t even think you’ll didn’t just go there; the telling “oh” noise transferring to a university easier to get to, get a seat. Always travel in peak hour, that people made when I would explain where where no one, including yourself, would It’s not going to feel like it for the next will minimise your trip. Don’t leave your it actually is; and that one young woman ever have to question your right to be little while, but at this moment, you are readings for the morning before because from Mosman who smiled pleasantly and there. You’ll be comfortable. You might precisely where you need to be. One day, it’s too hard to focus on crowded trains. asked me “but why are you here?” even be happy. the life you’re living and the sad, angry person you are now will be unrecognisable. Things get harder from there. Somewhere Why indeed. Don’t do that. between class, three hours of commuting You’re just going to have to trust me on time, and assignments, you’re going to You’re going to storm right out of there. Being the first person in your family to go that one. have to work. Don’t get too attached to And then you’re only going to come in to university is hard. Travelling 40km each sleeping. Like, really don’t. I mean, yes, I to uni for class, spend as little time on way to get to university is hard. Insomnia Lauren know that you’re no stranger to hard work, campus as you can. You never needed a and anxiety are hard. Working two part but just hauling yourself out of bed in the social life anyway. Your life is hard enough time jobs to pay for it and still having no morning is going to top anything else as is without some toff dragging you down. savings, no means of moving out, is hard. A Message from the SRC’s Sexual Harassment Officer Monique Newberry on consent.

Consent is an agreement to participate in like that?” are just some examples. an activity. It is non­binding and always necessary. If you're participating in a You can also let your partner know how sexual activity with someone then consent you feel. "That feels really good, keep is absolutely necessary and can be revoked going." "Mmm yes." "I don't think I'm at any time. So if you change your mind ready." "I'm not sure." But remember, or start to feel uncomfortable after you've you shouldn't feel obligated to speak up; given consent, it's okay to say no. You don't anyone participating in a sexual activity owe sex to anyone, and anyone who feels has the responsibility to establish active you owe them sex isn't worth your time. consent from their partner(s).

Consent also isn’t something that is just It's important to remember that if given once. It’s an ongoing process, which someone is really intoxicated (slurring means that an important part of ensuring their speech, vomiting, having trouble consent is regularly checking in with your standing or walking) then they are too partner. This doesn’t have to be awkward. intoxicated to give consent. There are so many ways to check in with your partner. “Are you enjoying yourself?” So check in with your partner and have “You look uncomfortable, are you okay?” fun! “How far did you want to go?” “Do you

Thoughts courtesy of reddit. com/r/usyd user ggqq: B. Eng (Civ)/B. Des Arch ‘14

If you have thoughts, please email [email protected]

3 news

Train Line Makes Next Stop at Victoria Park

Redfern might soon have itself some competition. Train correspondent, Max Hall reports.

ictoria Park may play host to a this station. only now becoming “knowledge-based” new train station, as the State aside, students would likely benefit from VGovernment decides where to build a Which option the Government will favour improved disabled access that is currently stop between Central and Sydenham. The has been the subject of intense lobbying not provided at Redfern Station. Choose Your station would link two arms of a proposed by the University. USyd Vice-Chancellor ‘Sydney Rapid Transit Network’, giving Michael Spence has met with Premier Funding for the project is not yet certain. If Own students on the planned north-west rail Mike Baird to lobby for the train station re-elected at the State Election in March, link and Bankstown train line direct access in recent weeks (Honi speculates that the Liberal Government will fund the Adventure to the University. a substantial number of chummy first- network by privatising 49% of the state’s name jokes were made). Further meetings electricity infrastructure. Opponents A story started by us The proposed network would extend the have been held with the state Transport argue that this policy is not substantially and continued by you. $8.3 billion North-West Rail Link into and Planning Ministers, as well as the different to the privatisation models the city, via new tracks connecting Epping Treasurer. that contributed to Campbell Newman’s t’s O-Week and you’re wandering down and Chatswood and a second harbour dramatic loss in the recent Queensland Eastern Avenue. Well, not wandering tunnel. All planned services would run Honi Soit understands that the University election. Iso much as slithering among a squishy without a timetable. Instead, trains will is arguing that a train station so close to cavalcade of bodies trying to avoid the run approximately every five minutes on campus would increase enrolments from What the construction of a station would rain, your shoulders brushing against the new lines. Conversion of all existing the Hills District and the Bankstown and mean for Victoria Park—particularly the shoulder-length holiday hair, grease, and infrastructure between Sydenham and Lakemba areas. Spence has said that the pool, pond and significant amount of open sweaty t-shirts. Bankstown to be compatible with proposed station “would make it much space—is unclear. single deck trains would accompany easier for staff and students from the A man who smells like Axe Body Spray the construction of an underground north-west and south-west of Sydney The decision is likely to be made by the asks if you’re interested in paintball and rapid transit track between Central and to access the University,” suggesting that end of 2016. Construction is scheduled you are not. He takes off his Ray-Bans, Sydenham via a new station. Victoria “it would be a catalyst for the creation to begin by 2018 with the new lines in looks deeply into your eyes (his eyes Park and Dank St in Waterloo have been of a vibrant knowledge-based precinct”. operation by 2023. welling with Monster Energy Drink identified as the two possible locations for Questions around a University area scented tears) and says “please, I live off commission”, but paintball is for bogans and you only do charity online. You walk Backgrounder: Redfern Tent Embassy off.

Joanna Connolly updates on the struggle for The Block. The cruelty with which you dismissed that man finally tipped your Karma scale or nearly nine months a group of reach saturation point, the Block has evicted and left out in the cold. Hence the into the negative and, almost immediately dedicated protesters have made their become prime real estate. The financial Tent Embassy. after, you felt a musclebound hand first Fhome in the small green oval between implications have not been lost on the tap, then drag you by the shoulder into a Eveleigh Street and Redfern Station. AHC. The past summer has seen tensions decrepit space behind Carslaw. Known as the Redfern Aboriginal Tent rising around the protest movement. Embassy, the camp was erected last year as Last year, the Company announced Just before Christmas, and then again You look around to see you’re in a nest a protest against the planned commercial the Pemulwuy Project, a $70 million in February, organisers sent out frantic of neck-tattooed, no-necked, necktie- development of Redfern’s iconic parcel of undertaking that will see the existing alerts, urging supporters to the location to wearing postgraduate Law students. land known as the ‘The Block’ housing demolished and the land defend against what they feared would be re-developed into a ‘mixed use site’, imminent eviction. No eviction attempts “Welcome, outsider”, says one, demurely. Painted above the Embassy is the including social and affordable housing were actually made on either occasion and declaration ‘Sovereignty Never Ceded’. for 62 families, as well as a gymnasium, police denied they had ever been planned. They begin to chant the phrase ‘outsider’ in Four decades ago, that reality was commercial and retail space, a gallery and a macabre unison, to what sounds like the partially recognised on the Block when student accommodation. Then last Friday occupants were served an tune of Avici’s “Levels”. From the throng, the Whitlam Government provided the eviction notice informing residents they their leader emerges wearing a leather Aboriginal Housing Company (AHC) Legally, the Company owns the site. Yet had ‘no permission, express or implied, cloak, which almost covers his Schoolies money to buy homes in the area, vesting the concern amongst the community— to be on the site’ and had until Monday 2009 singlet, bearing a ceremonial glass formal legal ownership of the land in the most of whom are excluded from the Feb 23 to clear out. Signs were erected water pourer. group. AHC, whose membership is capped declaring the AHC the owner of the site at 100—is that no affordable housing and that trespassers would be forcibly “Hit this fat bong or we’ll kill you”, he Securing The Block was an early step in the will actually be provided for Indigenous removed. says, gravely. urban land rights campaign and the area people. Private investors have signed up to became a powerful symbol of community fund the construction of student housing By the time this paper goes to print, the What do you do? and resistance. In 2004, it was the scene of and commercial and retail space, but no Monday eviction deadline will have passed. substantial protests following the death of money has been raised for affordable Whatever happens, it is unlikely that the Email a sentence or two detailing your next 17-year old Thomas Hickey, an Aboriginal housing. Neither the NSW nor Federal bitter struggle over the land will be over. move to [email protected] and the finest boy killed after being impaled on a fence governments are offering to back the The AHC’s Project is far from a done deal, entry will become the jumping off point for while fleeing from police. project. Protesters fear that the AHC is and the Tent Embassy protesters will not the next chapter. Don’t forget, you can go back more interested in profit than community give up the fight any time soon. and correct prior mistakes if you so desire. Today however, as Redfern’s small bars welfare and, despite what the brochures and $19 haloumi and avocado brunches say, the Block’s existing tenants will be

4 FREE RAPID HIV TESTS Please tell reception if you want to book a Rapid Test

Sexual Health Check-ups See the specialists

Show your Student Card and everything will be Bulk Billed.

Comic by Bryant Apolonio

www.tspc.com.au in too deep Leave Your Fedora at the Door Tim Asimakis attended a free pick up artistry course and wants his money back.

It’s actually good to go up to women taking photos of themselves and offer to take a photo for them. You can have fun with the camera, perhaps just zoom into one of the girl’s boobs and just take a photo of her boobs. Pretend like you had no idea how that happened, make them laugh and try again. - Damien Diecke, Sincere Seduction

y intentions were always journalistic, but I was still were told to congratulate ourselves and a huge grin spread It took almost two hours for Damien to deliver his lesson ashamed enough that I used a false name when across James’ face as he copied down the instruction in in degrading others, interspersed as it was with generic MI signed up for Damien Diecke’s free seminar, How To block capitals. I wondered if he knew that the School Cosmo dating tips. At every point his students were Find, Approach, Charm & Date The Hottest Girls. Damien, of Attraction reserved the right to reject students with depressingly diligent. How to make eye contact bled head coach at the assuredly named School of Attraction, mental health issues. into how to smile bled into how to talk bled into how to is a pick up artist, one of those people we’ve talked so secure a number bled into how to date. much about since Julien Blanc came to Australia to teach audiences how to commit acts of sexual violence. *** And then, abruptly, the advice was complete and Damien It’s no harder to approach a girl if she is sit- Diecke transitioned to salesman. For less than a cheap While Julien Blanc was fringe enough to have his tour ting even though it can seem more intimidating holiday you can take control of yourself! Roll up and cancelled and his visa torn up, the School of Attraction (though it is harder to check out her ass). change your life! Your quest to be better begins today! exists firmly in the mainstream. Its website features Multiple payment options and gold-plated satisfaction glowing reviews from GQ, the Sydney Morning Herald, guaranteed or your money back! - Damien Diecke, Sincere Seduction and Channel 9 below a glossy banner promising ‘no-sleaze dating & pickup courses’. But with coaches choosing to go I was meant to feel inspired so as that I’d hand over by the titles ‘Friend-Zone Hacker’ and ‘Night Charmer’, *** $3,450 for a further 13 weeks of coaching. But watching a I didn’t have high hopes for my evening of dating advice. quickly growing queue of people reaching for their credit It wasn’t until pick-up pro Damien Diecke took control cards in worship of their new saviour just made me sad. Those hopes plunged lower still when I arrived. The of the PowerPoint presentation that the ultimate villain Unreasonably sad for myself, sad for the men who were dulcet tones of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines masked of this piece was finally revealed. He was attractive and about to pay to learn how to better degrade women, and the awkward silence as sixty odd attendees filed into the confident enough I guess (his career would presumably sad for the women that they would turn into survivors. seminar room. have been much shorter were he not), but his confidence felt laboriously learned. Each point was punctuated with With the session ending and Damien struggling to close After an uncomfortable wait for latecomers, the session a forced tricolon as this over-practiced Cicero spewed the deal, he offered me a free copy of his best-selling opened with a testimonial from ex-student Ryan. fortune-cookie misogyny at the eager crowd. book, Sincere Seduction: Using honesty and integrity to Standing gingerly at the front of the room with one attract women. Bussing home alone I made the mistake too many buttons undone on his good shirt and all the “Make her feel like she had to work to get you to like her.” of thumbing through it. The cover displayed that very confidence of a year seven debater, he read his speech off title, painted onto a sign held aloft by Pinocchio, whose painstakingly cutout paper palm cards. “You may find it “A man’s ideal day is one in which he can do anything he enlarged nose was nothing if not a testament to his surprising,” he began, with a clumsy hint of a sly wink, wants. A woman’s ideal day is one her man has planned dishonesty and insincerity. “but I used to be a nerd in high school.” for her.” I was too tired and too disheartened to I didn’t find it that surprising. The word consent was never mentioned. I felt the tiniest try to decode what it was supposed flash of hope when Damien told his cohort of future pick to mean. *** up artists to be honest about what they wanted, and to When ladies are drunk, they get a case of ADD walk away from women who didn’t want the same things as them. Sadly, this was only important as an aid to (Attention Deficit Disorder). One minute you’ll be prevent men from picking up the “wrong woman”, talking to them, the next minute they’ll be distracted the woman with nothing going for her except her by the shiny disco ball. looks. Nothing suggested that it was because women were human beings deserving of even - Damien Diecke, Sincere Seduction basic respect.

*** As the night wore on, women being everything and anything but human beings became a Looking around the room, the youthful, fedora-sporting recurring theme. Women were lie detectors. neckbeards I’d been expecting were nowhere to be seen. Women were oranges on a super market shelf. Instead I was presented with ugly (by all conventional Women were prey (as are straight men in a gay bar, standards), mostly middle-aged (the average person was apparently). the wrong side of 40), lonely men. It seemed inevitable that some of them would continue to be lonely at the end *** of the course, some might become happier, and others Touch her hand. It is one of the most sensitive places would likely use the lessons learned from the School of on the human body. If you don’t think touching a Attraction to make women unsafe. hand is sexual, try gently placing your hand on top of another man’s and see how weird it feels. Sitting beside me was James.* His jeans were horribly stained, though not in the cool way jeans used to be stained in 2004, and behind his ear sat a big glob of face - Damien Diecke, Sincere Seduction cream where nobody had bothered to point it out to him. In our brief conversations he explained how depressed *** he’d been feeling lately. At one point in the seminar we 6 ongoing

Ongoing is a space to give ideas time to develop. Every few weeks we’ll choose a theme and dedicate this page to exploring it. It’s a space not just for stories, but for discussion; if you have a story or want to develop on the theme in any other way please email us: [email protected] CYBER SEX Chains and Whips in Cyberspace

Isabelle Comber went looking for a seedy underbelly, what she found was a close-knit community.

’m thinking about writing an article about fetishes. Fluid identity is key when joining. You can choose from This member had the capacity to live their fetish online as Have you ever gotten involved with it?” I asked the myriad sexual orientations and gender associations. part of a global community, and interact with the local site “Iguy I was seeing. He smiled and leant in, “Why do you Whilst the online sphere can often be a male-dominated to meet up or attend events in the physical world. Though ask…?” space, this arena seemed more neutral. I signed up as a while everyone is accepted, community involvement is cis-female bisexual. imperative, and illegitimate or detached members are After I clarified that I wasn’t proposing a rendezvous, under the scrutiny of others. we began discussing the topic and his previous partners. Flicking through profiles, elements of kink that would “How did you know they were into it?” I asked. “They have never be discussed in my social circles lay at my Emma described the discrepancy between her pride in were bad girls,” he responded, slowly nodding. fingertips. I learned a lot from simply viewing member kink, and the times when members had doubted her profiles. Before, I had reduced this world to BDSM, ‘subs’ commitment, as difficult. “On the other hand, much like There are many problems with the way this guy thought and ‘doms’, neglecting other practices like ‘slavery’, age- any other community anywhere, people get very cliquey.” (he’s dumped now) but the conversation still made me play and animal-play. It was hard to imagine people being wonder. If one wishes to engage with kink and BDSM in able to connect with others who shared these interests It was this commitment to the community of kink, along a consensual and meaningful way, how can one go about outside of the online sphere. with the honesty and openness that I saw in members it? that pushed me to cancel my membership to Fetlife. Most “Being treated like shit, or dressing as the opposite gender, members are serious about fetish and protective of their As a relative outsider, I wanted to pursue different ways or acting as though you’re an animal/family members/ community. My fetish-less student journalist vibe urged of thinking about the community of kink, and stumbled baby... Some people aren’t okay with admitting that stuff me to leave, but has also encouraged me to return if a upon fetlife.com. Fetlife is a global social networking site to themselves, let alone others,” said Emma. fetish were to develop. Far from characters, members are similar to Facebook for the BDSM and fetish community. real people engaging in kink and fetish, humanised but Users have a profile and can join groups, chat to ‘friends’ You can find literally any kind of fetish on here, and most not normalised. and seek event pages, all about kink. members address their personal fetishes proudly. One of the first pages I found was a 22-year-old pansexual gender “I don’t think BDSM communities feel the need to be Emma* was introduced to Fetlife through her boyfriend queer, whose profile picture showed them unashamedly normalised or accepted.”, says Emma. “I would say that a few years ago. “It’s so open and accepting to all kinds anally fisting themselves. They belonged to several groups most BDSM people, especially Fetlife users, are perfectly of people. Plus, however weird you may feel you or your that linked them to likeminded people with a ‘fisting’ fine with their world being a little out of the ordinary.” interests are, there’s thousands people into the same thing, interest locally and around the world. and weirder stuff.” I Know What You Want

Lyra Talise is a student and a sex-worker. These are the online profiles she uses and the clients they attract.

The girl with the single mind: The girl with the overheating brain: The real deal (no, seriously): This is me. I’m a bubbly girl with no discernible identity, a This is also me. This is also me. It’s just that this me is a lot more… well, university student studying… well, something. My name me. is exotic—like my skin!—but not specifically exotic. It’s This time, I’m a sexy, submissive university student. I’m pretty and easy to type, and easy to forget. still studying…something. But it’s obviously real because I’m not an escort, I’m a courtesan. I don’t provide sex, I I’ve been working really hard. Really hard. So hard my provide companionship. I’m intelligent and sophisticated, Like me. brain is overheated, and I need a break! and if you tell me your favourite street in Florence I’ll tell (Winky face.) you mine. I’m a university student, and I’m doing real You’ll message me because you like what you see. Which majors at a real university, and Honours in a real subject. is two photos of my breasts. They tell you that I have Specifically, a break where you, a naturally dominant man, I even have a thesis, and I’ll tell you just enough about it lingerie, and that I have nice breasts. tie me up, or spank me— or one of us dresses up like (over a bottle of champagne) that you find my maturity a schoolgirl. Or all three. arousing. I have nice breasts! And even more specifically, a break where each hit or When we get into the bedroom, I’m your loving girlfriend You’ll meet me, because I’m a bubbly exotic university restraint puts me that much more over $250. (or, for an extra $150, your obedient submissive). And it’s student with nice breasts, who will charge you $250 to go authentic, because I stipulate that the money I took from down on me for an hour, and promise to enjoy it. The photo is nice, but sort of immaterial. You’ll message you is for my time and not my services. It’s a donation, me because I’m a prim well-spoken girl with a dirty mind. not a payment. I will enjoy it—of course! You’ll meet me because I promise to enjoy being called a slut by a stranger. A non-negotiable donation starting at $450 for an hour I’ll enjoy it to the tune of $250. of my time. (Unless you’re really good. Then I’ll enjoy that too.) And I will enjoy it! You’re paying for it, after all. What can I say? I’m worth it. About me: When I’m not playing your sophisticated dinner companion and sensual lover, I’m wearing granny panties and sports bras under yoga pants while procrastinating instead of doing university work. I found myself in the murky and fascinating world of sex-work at of 19. I stick around for the alcohol. *Names have been changed. 7 o-week

Things We’re Contractually Obliged To Tell You A quick and dirty guide to university.

Accumulated quasi-wisdom Cheapest... Off-Campus

Google “[name of textbook] + pdf ” to avoid buying Booze: The Forest Lodge Hotel offers the cheapest student textbooks, or photocopy the ones in the library. In happy hour, Hermanns sells $3.50 Boags schooners, jug for $9 and student pizzas for $10, even if half the Chardonnay, Cabernet Shiraz and bubbles. In general, bartenders don’t actually know about the student deals. Faculty camps are fun, but be warned: hacks will try to alcohol is always cheaper off campus. recruit you into their political faction. Looking to get off campus? A shuttle bus leaves from Meal: Fisher library at night to take you to Redfern. The University offers general bursaries of up to $1000 for Sign up for VegeSoc in O-Week, and take advantage of students in need (as long as you haven’t failed a subject) their weekly unlimited lunch for $5. On their off-days, Campus security will give you a lift to a local station if and nobody applies for them. They can be used for buying you can get pide from UniBros ($4.50) or a pasta of the you ask (sometimes). textbooks, and paying bills and rent. day from Courtyard ($6.80~ on ACCESS). Greek society also offers $2 kebabs every second Wednesday. Food gets If you sign up to eduroam you get free wifi on every You’re not obligated to stay in your degree or at university. cheaper towards the end of the day, especially at Miso University campus. Don’t be afraid to switch degrees, defer, or drop out. Honi (4pm give-away!... Name, no relation) and Azuri There’s nothing to stop you from returning later. (though see our coverage of their salmonella scandal The best lunch specials along King St are cheap Japanese in 2014). Bringing food from home? Microwaves are at Hikaru, $5 lunches at Thariffic and Rowda Ya-Habibi’s Know the census date (March 31). Also, find out about available in Fisher, Wentworth, and the Wom*n’s Room kebabs, which are all more than worth the travel. your faculty’s simple extension policy. Trust us. in Manning. ‘Parking spots’ are a social construct, however there are The campus medical service is in the Wentworth building. Movies: SOME theoretically illegal spots that go unchecked by They are discrete and bulk bill students. Counsellors are You can buy cheap Dendy tickets from the International local inspectors. also available. Student desk on the top floor of the Wentworth building, where there are also a large number of pool tables. The If you need somewhere to sleep, speak to the SRC. Gender neutral bathrooms are available downstairs library also has a huge film collection, so you can rent STUCCO, a housing co-op on Wilson St, Newtown, in the Holme Building and in the SRC offices in the anything for nothing. offers crisis accommodation for students in need. The Wentworth buildimg. There is also a unisex bathroom in SRC can also help with emergency loans, and offer the US Studies Building. Gym: caseworkers to untangle bills. At $13.80 per week including classes, Victoria Park Pool Gym is better value than the Sydney Uni gym, which your SSAF fees are already paying for....

Despite the crippling social anxiety Monica felt at the mere thought of even saying hello to that random dude who sat two rows in front of her in chemistry lectures, after eight weeks she decided to give the middle finger to the negative voice in her mind and concluded that this dude would definitely be much better company at lunch than those filthy, lunch-stealing ibises.

Illustration by Monica Renn. 8 opinion

Human Resources

Patrick Morrow is a friend, foe and face of the University of Sydney Union

very OWeek the University of extra for the special display of their boat funding comes from cash from Bacardi dignity mustn’t be short-changed for cash. Sydney Union is bullied into a (also worth getting used to), while at $385 and V and the Commonwealth Bank and Echarade. Increasingly stringent budgets per week, Iglu offensively claims to provide Iglu, it seems necessary to reiterate that it I have benefited so much from the best tear what is fundamentally an organisation affordable student housing on every spare is still, at least by name, a union. parts of the USU and you ought to do for students between providing and inch of advertising space in the post- likewise. My fondest memories are owed advertising the services that make the code. So many of the event’s affiliations It would be stupid to think of the USU to its truly student-driven infrastructure institution worthwhile, and increasing feels like a disgusting rort for the super- as malicious. Howard’s butchery of and it remains one of the only vehicles commodification of its members. The wealthy, made worse by Iglu’s offer of a compulsory student unionism placed for vaguely independent student projects. trade-off is pretty clear: there’s no such complementary Access Card and 1 weeks’ unprecedented pressure on universities But if its financial sustainability comes at thing as a free breakfast. free rent as “a cool way to top up your and student groups to provide the same the expense of our independence, it will piggy bank”—presumably a comforting services, to more or less the same number ultimately be to no end. Principal sponsorship of OWeek in 2014 thought as you haemorrhage the price of of students, with a fraction of the means. was a $27 500 partnership. The Co-op a laptop every week for rent for god only OWeek’s blatant monetisation is an awful There are so many projects and programs Bookshop and Iglu have this year wrangled knows how long. These partnerships with symptom of it. that the Union runs brilliantly to a profit. top billing rights, while Bacardi, Boost the Union reflect a gross trend—an urge without deferring to reckless affiliations Mobile, V and Wonderground have joined towards the immediately profitable over That’s not to excuse the degree to which and commodifying students If the idea up as major sponsors (last year, an $11000 what’s best for the student body. the USU has sold itself, just to explain it. of a for-profit Union is not negotiable, we privilege). In all, 41 stallholders (the SRC should all take great pains to make sure it included) have bought their space. For while there is nothing inherently Those who run the Union undoubtedly makes money responsibly. wrong with advertisement, every stall have the best interests of the students These sponsor stalls, like the others, in corporate hands contributes to a false in mind, but dollars do not ultimately ostensibly showcase the university equivalence between what actually builds constitute the student experience. experience. Though they are lessthe incredible student experience at representative of the best of the university Sydney, and what merely funds it. It is Exorbitant festival headline acts, spons- than many of the free stalls. Investors disappointing given the incredible lengths ored funches and eating competitions, and are the only groups with roaming to which the Union has gone to creating every tier of non-student management are and spruiking rights; the only groups profitable spaces that also serve the all minor sums that stack up—especially with access to double width and open needs of students—as in the case of The when they are used to justify the increasing stall space; the only groups advertised Refectory, Courtyard, and (depending on infringement on student independence. individually; and the only groups with the whom you ask) Laneway. most accessible and salient stall locations. Students need respect and autonomy as This, they say, is your Union. This is your These endeavours reflect a willingness to much as plump coffers. The resourcefulness university. stumble out of the clumsy post-VSU fiscal and passion of those who, without pubescence with students on top, but while remuneration, build the best parts of this This is literally the first image on the first page of Sydney University Sport and Fitness pay such a significant portion of the USU’s institution cannot be overstated, and this the USU prospectus.

Dollars and Sense

How to get (almost) free travel on your Opal card.

ast year our beloved minister for Secondly, once you’ve made eight Cheapest: Reach eight journeys by Lodge hotel, show them this story, and transport issued a challenge to each “journeys” the rest of your travel is free catching a bus less than 3km and waiting spend the savings on a couple of their Lperson in the state. Gladys said that when for the week. (What is a journey? For an hour. Do it before a lecture. If you’re finest student jugs (you’ll actually be a it comes to Opal, “I want people to beat our purposes, a journey is completed after heading out for lunch get the bus there dollar short, but hey, who’s counting?). the system”. Hold tight baby, because with you tap on and off at two non-CBD rail and have a drink on Gladys. concession Opal cards available it’s time stations on different lines.) to meet that challenge. But before we can, Quickest: The quickest method involves we need to know how Opal works. So, how do you get eight journeys (and tapping on at Macdonaldtown station but free travel) as cheaply and quickly as don’t get on the train, it is faster to walk to Firstly, you’ll never pay more than $7.50 a possible? Erskineville station (450m away, and on a day for public transport or $30 per week. different line), and tap off there. Repeat Importantly, they stop counting journeys in reverse. You’ve clocked in a fraction of after you hit your daily limit ($7.50). With the time it’d take you on the train. Cost: concession tickets at $1.05 (bus) and $9.50 if it’s all done off peak and $13.60 if $1.69 (train fare) for a 1-zone ride, that done during peak. means you can’t reach 8 journeys in a single day (anything over Obviously this doesn’t save you much if $7.50 won’t be counted). you live in the city, but if you’re travelling You’ll need two days to from far away this could save you around beat Gladys’ baby. $17 a week. Then head over to the Forest So you’ve cheated the Opal man... Illustration by Stephanie Barahona

9 profile Clive, Unveiled Clive James pens an original poem for Honi and sits for an interview with Luca Moretti.

Clive James began his Arts degree at the University of Sydney in 1958, where he was literary editor of Honi Soit and directed the annual Union Revue. Soon after graduating he left for England, where he established himself as a newspaper columnist, poet, comic, television personality and memoirist. In 2010, he was diagnosed with multiple terminal illnesses, but has continued to publish poetry and criticism. Here, he talks with Luca Moretti about his life, mortality and the Barry Spurr scandal.

LM: In Unreliable Memoirs, you refer to ing prose, but my own opinion is that we your undeveloped taste at university, but Photo File would all have ended up living in a lean-to also to days at Manning spent reading The photographs in the manila folder instead of a house. . Is this account of your im- Are all of me when I was strong and bolder, But now I’m old, and illness makes me older, maturity a fabrication? And winter’s coming and the nights grow colder. LM: You left Sydney for England in 1962. What is your relationship with Australia? This photograph is me when I was swimming CJ: It’s the truth, although it’s also true At Inverell and sent the pebbles skimming that I was insufferably bumptious, espe- Across the river. Now my eyes are brimming CJ: I never set out to curry favour with the Because my arm aches and the light is dimming. cially on literary matters: the less I knew, land I left, but I suppose it was inevitable the more confident my pronouncements. And in this one my wave of hair is showing that my book Unreliable Memoirs should The gleam of Brylcreem, and my mother sewing Ezra Pound was certainly a forerunner Has told me that I am a sheik, and going sound like a love letter. It was indeed writ- there; but I was also constantly engaged To stun the girls when I have finished growing. ten out of love, and I suppose the eventual with T.S. Eliot, who was much less giv- And here I am as the high school debater. effect of the book’s wide acceptance among en to shouting from the rooftops; and if A Cicero with an accelerator, ordinary Australians was to persuade even I talked too fast but I got better later. anybody influenced my general stance on Lucky that pimple didn’t leave a crater. the intellectuals that I was still closely en- poetry, it was Eliot. I left him out of the gaged with my homeland, even if from a The snaps of me when young are less narcotic, Mannin