Seagalogy: the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal Free

FREE SEAGALOGY: THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL PDF

Any fan of Steven Seagal needs to have this book in their collection as it is riotously funny and thoroughly entertaining. It was written by Vern and it is the first in-depth study to be published on the complete creative output of Steven Seagal. He is clearly a fan of the action legend and it shows in his reviews for each of his films. I literally cannot watch a Seagal film now without this trusty tome next to me. On Deadly Ground was always more funny than anything; I always loved how he preaches environmentalism in this movie by blowing up an oil rig and killing hundreds of people… because that will really help the environment. This book explores all of these themes but also the recurring theme of bar fights and how many times glass is shattered… which pretty much happens in EVERY Seagal Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal. Remember this peach from On Deadly Ground? Try this: delve down into the deepest bowels of your soul. Try to imagine the ultimate fucking nightmare. So yeah, there are sections of the book which actually focus on these moments of greatness and are always hilarious. Overall, Seagalogy is a fun read and Vern has proven himself a hugely entertaining writer; if he comes up with more books then I would happily pick them up immediately. Log In. Remember Me. Lost your password? Summary Any fan of Steven Seagal needs to Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal this book in their collection as it is riotously funny and thoroughly entertaining. Seagalogy: a Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal by Vern

Hollywood can breed a whole army of action heroes that save the day or the world, dragging us to the edge of our seat and back. But for some people one star shines brighter: Steven Seagal. But hands up — how many have actually seen one of his films, let alone his complete output? Is that foolish oversight or a criminal miscarriage of justice? Just as well the mighty Vern is on hand with his fun-filled bible, Seagalogy, to read and relish. Forget those false fist-flying prophets of Van Damme, Stallone and Bruce Willis, come and worship at the altar of the one true action idol…. With the obsession of a fan and the authoritative tone of a professor, Vern takes us through every film with attention to plot, themes, dialogue, influences and even politics. He transforms Seagal into an auteur worthy of world-class status and raises the geek to the level of quip-making scholar. A lucrative move for him and a good reason for Vern to launch into his crusade. Ad — content continues below. It means that the completists in us all are treated to a breakdown of his concerts and adverts too. Seagalogy feels in part like a bad-ass interloper on the scholarly shelves but Vern demonstrates how, like its subject, the book can blend in and go native. After reading it, you might never need to see a Seagal film again. Or you might just feel compelled to watch his whole body of ass-kicking work. It might even help you win the specialist round of Mastermind. Unless Mr. Seagal has got there first. Skip to main content area. Forget those false fist-flying prophets of Van Damme, Stallone and Bruce Willis, come and worship at the altar of the one true action idol… With the obsession of a fan and the authoritative tone of Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal professor, Vern Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal us through every film with attention to plot, themes, dialogue, influences and even politics. Rating: 4 out of 5. Share: Share on Facebook opens in a new tab Share on Twitter opens in a new tab Share on Linkedin opens in a new tab Share on email opens Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal a new tab Comment: Comments count: 0. Written by Paul W. Read more from Paul W. Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal () Book Review - The Action Elite

Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Other editions. Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Seagalogy by Vern. Get A Copy. Paperbackpages. Published June 10th by Titan Books first published More Details Original Title. Steven SeagalOrin Boyd. Other Editions 6. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Seagalogyplease sign up. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 4. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. First of all, forget all the five-star reviews. This is a good book, but it ain't THAT good. I guess since this is the only legit book on the work of Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal Seagal, hardcore fans can't help but go overboard in praising it. Also, the irony of having a talented writer treat Seagal's filmography as a serious "body of work" makes the book seem funnier than it really is. Vern Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal an honest-to-God Steven Seagal fan yes, those do exist who takes a sincere interest in every facet of the big guy's career. Whenever he gives Seagal a hard time, it comes across as a Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal ribbing rather than a genuine put-down. There is much about Seagal to both admire and criticize, and Vern is one of the few people to maintain a fair balance between the two. The big problem with this book, though, is that the majority of it consists of plot summary. If you are already familiar with Seagal's movies, the constant barrage of story details gets old quickly. If you're trying to figure out which Seagal movies you should watch, this book will spoil the plots for you. The only people to whom I would whole-heartedly recommend this book are those who prefer to read about Seagal's movies rather than watch them. Unfortunately, I'm not sure many such people exist. Vern goes through each film in detail and provides a certain amount of commentary on what works and what doesn't. Most of Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal humor comes from him pointing out plot holes and various absurdities the average viewer probably missed. It's also great for clarifying the confusing elements found in each movie, which is no small matter because several of Seagal's films have been cut, re-edited, and stitched together worse than Frankenstein's monster. For me, the best part of the book was at the end, when Vern provides an overview of all the specific traits that make a Seagal Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal a Seagal movie. I think he's right when he says that Seagal's movies carry a specific imprint and wouldn't work with a different lead actor. View 2 comments. Feb 06, Mickey rated it it was amazing. Vern is not only my favorite film critic, he's one of my favorite writers period. This book is funny, but this is not pages ripping apart Steven Seagal, nor is it in any way intended to be ironic. Vern understands that a great deal of what Steven Seagal does is unavoidably laughable, but he also very clearly has a sincere love of these movies. This b Vern is not only my favorite film critic, he's one of my favorite writers period. This book is akin to having a particularly funny and intelligent friend explain in detail all of Steven Seagal's movies, pointing out the bad edits, story inconsistencies and just plain stupid, ridiculous or absurd plot points but also telling you exactly why these movies are awesome despite them. Jan 12, Jeremy rated it really liked it Shelves: humorfilmborders. This Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal have worked if it was just some troll making fun of Steven Seagal, but thankfully Vern, delight though he often may in spotlighting the man's numerous limitations, clearly feels true affection for the beefy limbsnapper. The conversational profanity detracts far more than it adds, but "Seagalogy" is funny, thorough, and even insightful. A bittersweet climax of sorts in which Vern briefly meets Seagal brings it all to a nice close. Unlikely to win over new converts, but if like mysel This wouldn't have worked if it was just some troll making fun of Steven Seagal, but thankfully Vern, delight though he often may in spotlighting the man's numerous limitations, clearly feels true affection for the beefy limbsnapper. Unlikely to win over new converts, but if like myself you've sat through more of these movies than you're comfortable admitting, this is well worth spending a few hours with. View 1 comment. Aug 04, Tom Fuchs rated it it was amazing. I like it! I like Fawn Siemsen! She has large boobies!!!!! I am so excited about this! Jul 13, Cyn rated it it was amazing. I've read this book about 5 times now, I Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal it. I wish he'd write one about Jean-Claude Van Damme. Mar 17, Kate rated it it was amazing. The infamous Vern has written a funny but comprehensive book on the study of Steven Seagal films. I have come to this book reluctantly but my man is obsessed with these movies. My favorite part was the little synopsis at the end of each chapter movie they were classic! I got this book after reading so much about it and I am also a fan of Steven Seagal. I was a good and funny book. In these reviews Vern makes fun of the films then balances them out with why he likes them too. Vern also starts to notice little things that go through each film, stuff like Seagal like to have a Samurai sword in the background or to use one in his la I got this book after reading so much about it and I am also a fan of Steven Seagal. Vern also starts to notice little things that go through each film, stuff like Seagal like to have a Samurai sword in the background or to use one in his later DTV films etc. So give Seagalogy a read. What an absolutely hilarious book! I just have to point out that this thing is over !! I was yukking out loud the entire time. I love bad action movies! Vern does Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal stellar job nailing just how ridiculous and hilarious Seagal is in the 'mythology' of his persona and the OTT cheesiness of his oeuvre. Kudos to him for being able to sit through absolutely everything this guy has been in, including the unwatchable DTV fli What an absolutely hilarious book! Kudos to him for being able to sit through absolutely everything this guy has been in, including the unwatchable DTV flicks. Oct 04, Paul rated it it was amazing. Brilliantly funny. Subtly parodic in its perspective on Seagal's films, but also unexpectedly lucid in its examination of the Seagal 'badass auteur' stamp. Picks apart the motifs within Seagal's films and makes some incredibly insightful points Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal the movies, whilst Seagalogy: The Ass-kicking Films of Steven Seagal a strong vein of humour. Very clever. Very detailed and lovingly pieced together. Identifies themes in Seagal's career and studiously outlines his oeuvre in a most respectful way yes, even the DTV films. Second only to the Bible. My older brother is many things: a talented musician, a gifted linguist, a Steven Seagal fan. His love of lunkheaded action films really is second to none. I bought him this book for Christmas. I am not a Steven Seagal fan. But this book is great. You might want to dip into it a chapter at a time, rather than essentially reading it in one go as I did, as otherwise it can get a little samey, but My older brother is many things: a talented musician, a gifted linguist, a Steven Seagal fan.