Sun 360

STEREO-4, SDO-2, SOHO-25 Workshop

July 25 - 29, 2011

Christian-Albrechts-Universit¨at

Kiel, Germany

Contents Hex Ponder, S...... 13 Wednesday ...... 13 Plenary talks 5 Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L...... 13 Overview talks ...... 5 The Luggage Rincewind, R...... 13 Invited talks ...... 5 Monastery of Oi-Dong Lu-Tze, ...... 14 Death of Rats Susan, S.H...... 14 Abstracts 7 The Auditors Soak, R...... 14 Monday ...... 7 Soul-eater Shamharoth, Bel ...... 14 Hex, Ponder, S...... 7 Thursday ...... 15 The Luggage, Necromancer Hix, J...... 15 Rincewind, R...... 7 Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L...... 15 Necromancer Hix, J...... 7 The Auditors Soak, R...... 16 Death of Rats Susan, S.H...... 7 Dwarfs Littlebottom, C...... 16 The Auditors Soak, R...... 7 Bursar Dinwiddie, A.A...... 16 Dwarfs Littlebottom, C...... 8 Troll bridge Cohen, G...... 16 Dwarfs Littlebottom, C...... 8 Cooking some special thinks Ogg, G. . . . . 16 Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L...... 8 The Wee Free Men Aching, T...... 17 Bursar Dinwiddie, A.A...... 8 Making money Lipwig, M.von ...... 17 Nature of time Wen the Eternally Sur- Death of Rats Susan, S.H...... 17 prised, ...... 9 Monastery of Oi-Dong Lu-Tze, ...... 17 Troll bridge Cohen, G...... 9 The Fifth Elephant Quirm, L...... 18 Cooking some special thinks Ogg, G. . . . .9 Thief of time Ludd, L...... 18 The Wee Free Men Aching, T...... 9 Bell Tower Downey, Lord ...... 18 Making money Lipwig, M.von ...... 9 Om Brutha, ...... 18 Tuesday ...... 10 Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L...... 18 Necromancer Hix, J...... 10 Friday ...... 19 Dwarfs Littlebottom, C...... 10 Hex Ponder, S...... 19 Dwarfs Littlebottom, C...... 10 Guards! Guards! Vimes, S., Ironfounder- Bursar Dinwiddie, A.A...... 10 sson, C., Angua von Uberwald,¨ D., The taum Ponder, S...... 10 Colon, F., Nobbs, N...... 19 The Fifth Elephant Quirm, L...... 11 The Luggage Rincewind, R...... 19 Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L...... 11 Soul-eater Shamharoth, Bel ...... 20 Troll bridge Cohen, G...... 12 Turtles A’Tuin, Great ...... 20 Cooking some special thinks Ogg, G. . . . . 12 Billabong Rincewind, B...... 20 The Wee Free Men Aching, T...... 12 Winter Wintersmith, ...... 20 Geopgrahy Anonymous, A ...... 12 Dungeon Dimensions Cthulthu, M.1. . . . . 21 Making money Lipwig, M.von ...... 12 Schocolate LeJean, M...... 21 Guards! Guards! Vimes, S., Ironfounder- Court jester lancre, V.II ...... 21 sson, C., Angua von Uberwald,¨ D., Ephebe Didactylos, D...... 21 Colon, F., Nobbs, N...... 13 Llamedos Celyn, I.Y...... 21

3 4 Invited talks Plenary talks

Plenary talks Overview talks

Monday 08:30 Ponder, S. Hex 14:00 Dragonlady, L. Lord of Wyrmberg Tuesday 10:30 Quirm, L. The Fifth Elephant 11:15 Dragonlady, L. Lord of Wyrmberg 16:00 Vimes, S., Ironfoundersson, C., Angua Guards! Guards! von Uberwald,¨ D., Colon, F., Nobbs, N. 16:45 Ponder, S. Hex Wednesday 08:30 Dragonlady, L. Lord of Wyrmberg Thursday 08:45 Dragonlady, L. Lord of Wyrmberg 14:45 Quirm, L. The Fifth Elephant 16:45 Dragonlady, L. Lord of Wyrmberg Friday 08:30 Ponder, S. Hex 09:15 Vimes, S., Ironfoundersson, C., Angua Guards! Guards! von Uberwald,¨ D., Colon, F., Nobbs, N.

Invited Talks

Monday 09:15 The Luggage, Rincewind, R. 10:30 Death of Rats, Susan, S.H. 11:00 The Auditors, Soak, R. 15:00 Nature of time, Wen the Eternally Surprised, Tuesday 09:30 Ponder, S. The taum 14:45 Anonymous, A Geopgrahy Wednesday 09:15 Rincewind, R. The Luggage 10:30 Susan, S.H. Death of Rats 11:00 Soak, R. The Auditors 11:30 Shamharoth, Bel Soul-eater

Thursday 09:30 Soak, R. The Auditors 14:00 Susan, S.H. Death of Rats Friday 10:30 Rincewind, R. The Luggage 11:00 Shamharoth, Bel Soul-eater 11:30 A’Tuin, Great Turtles

5 Plenary talks Invited talks

6 Monday Abstracts

Abstracts Monday

08:30 – 9:15 the need arises. It has been described as ”half suitcase, Hex half homicidal maniac” Ponder, S.

High Energy Magic Building, UU, Discworld 09:45 – 10:00 Hex is the UU’s first mainframe computer, though in- Necromancer stead of RAM, it has ram skulls, and its mouse is an Hix, J. actual mouse. Its ”brain” consists of a series of glass tubes filled with ants, which form its processor, and a Unseen University, Disc World beehive in a back room, which comprises its hard drive. ’Hicks with an X’ in Unseen Academicals, after changing Initially just a computer, it has gradually developed more his name from Hicks because it didn’t suit his position. of a personality over the course of the series. Ponder Dr Hix is a necromancer. Since necromancy is officially Stibbons has by default become the person in charge of banned in Ankh-Morpork, he is instead the Head of the developing and operating Hex, though he admits that Hex Department of Post Mortem Communications (although largely develops itself. [edit] he acknowledges this is just a fancy way of saying necro- mancy). Dr Hix has one member of staff, a reanimated 09:15 – 09:45 skeleton called Charlie, who helps procure the tools of the The Luggage trade (which are mostly items from the joke shop down the Rincewind, R. road). Dr Hix did have another member of staff, the late Professor Flead, but insorcized him into the Pink Pussycat Unseen University, Disc World Club at the end of Making Money (the Professor haunts The Luggage is a large chest that follows Rincewind lit- the club, and the club does not mind the loss of one chair erally wherever he goes- even onto Roundworld, which out of the club’s seating capacity). Dr Hix frequently Rincewind only visited virtually. It is made of sapient misbehaves, performs evil deeds and makes comments in pearwood (a magical, intelligent plant which is nearly bad taste as he is required to under University statute, a extinct, impervious to magic, and only grows in a few fact which the other members of UU grudgingly accept. places outside the Agatean Empire, generally on sites of He uses the phrase ”Skull ring, remember?” as an excuse very old magic). It can produce hundreds of little legs for his misbehavior. protruding from its underside and can move very fast if

10:00 – 10:30 coffee break

10:30 – 11:00 Death of Rats 11:00 – 11:30 Susan, S.H. The Auditors Soak, R. Quirm College for Young Ladies Susan is a ”slightly built young woman”; both Mustrum Ankh-Morpork Ridcully and Terry Pratchett himself have described her Being personifications of a concept, the Auditors have no as being ”attractive in a skinny way” [1]. Her hair is pure fixed shape. When they manifest in the world, however, white, but with a streak of black running through it from they almost always appear as empty grey cowled robes, an end to end. Although its natural state is a frizzy mass appearance which conveys drabness and dullness rather reminiscent of a dandelion, it rearranges its style of its than danger. They do not speak, but rather impart the own accord depending on Susan’s mood; it tends to form memory of having spoken directly into people’s minds. a tight bun while she is working. In The Art of Discworld, Pratchett represents this idiosyncratic form of commu- Paul Kidby draws Susan in Edwardian clothing, which he nication in simple plain text, without quotations, and feels fits well with her job as a nanny in Hogfather. italicized in some books. They are, in a sense, similar to

7 Abstracts Monday the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions in that they a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is in- represent a higher abstract principle hostile to ordinary troduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent mortal life, but from the opposite direction of Law rather Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. Cheery than Chaos (see Michael Moorcock’s Eternal Champion was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!. series). The History Monks categorise the Auditors and the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions as the same 11:45 – 12:00 class of being, dhlangs or evil spirits, but see the Auditors Dwarfs as the most dangerous, at least according to Lu-Tze, who Littlebottom, C. names them the ”Enemies of Mind”. City watch 11:30 – 11:45 Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for Dwarfs the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly Littlebottom, C. female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels City watch on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for Dwarfish as Sh’rt’azs (’shortarse’). Her family lives in the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly berwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is in- wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels troduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. Cheery Dwarfish as Sh’rt’azs (’shortarse’). Her family lives in was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!. berwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in

12:00 – 14:00 lunch break

14:00 – 14:45 he defeats her brothers. Hrun accepts and succeeds in Lord of Wyrmberg carrying out her orders, but refuses to definitely kill her Dragonlady, L. siblings. Liessa agrees to banishing them instead and tells Hrun tenderly (calling him by name for the first time) Wyrmberg, DW that she did not expect such mercy from him. It seems Daughter of Geicha the First, lord of the Wyrmberg, and at that point that Liessa is developing genuine feelings for leader of the dragonriders. An archetypal fantasy bar- her husband-to-be. But Liessa still has one more trial in barian woman, she has red chestnut hair, is curvaceous store for him: she strips till she is naked, so as to see how and wears almost nothing except for a chainmail harness. much passion he truly has for her. Before the couple can Liessa’s ambitions are high: having poisoned her father, embark onto anything intimate however, Hrun is snatched the traditional means of succession in her family, she is away by Rincewind and Twoflower riding Twoflower’s hindered by the fact that as a woman, she cannot become dragon Ninereeds. In desperation, Liessa summons her lord of the Wyrmberg and faces intense rivalty from her own dragon to pursue them (still naked, as Pratchett two brothers. There is however a loophole: by marrying makes a point of). Ninereeds nearly outruns her but a man who would then become lord of the Wyrmberg vanishes when Twoflower loses consciousness, causing ev- through allegiance, she could act as the real power behind eryone riding him to fall. Liessa abandons Rincewind and the throne. When she forments this plan, Rincewind, Twoflower to their fate and catches Hrun on her dragon, Twoflower and Hrun the Barbarian are passing close to and the two share a passionate kiss. her mountain country. Liessa is interested in Hrun, for as a strong but slow-witted warrior, she could use him to defeat her brothers and then place him as a puppet 14:45 – 15:00 lord. Having kidnapped Hrun and Twoflower (for whom Bursar she expresses no interest and has locked away), she tests Dinwiddie, A.A. Hrun by trying to stab him in his sleep. Hrun grabs her wrist and almost breaks it. Convinced of the fellow bar- Unseen University, Disc World barian’s agility, she tells him that he may marry her if The Bursar is a quiet, reserved person, who took the job of University treasurer because he had an affinity for num-

8 Monday Abstracts bers (the Archchancellor describes him as ”one of those idiot servants”) and there was less competition for the role Oi-Dong than other faculty posts. Wen the Eternally Surprised. The founder of the order, He took over the job from the previous Bursar, Spelter, and the writer of the History Books. Wen was the first after the latter was killed trying to save the Library from person to fully grasp the nature of timethat the only thing destruction in Sourcery. Dinwiddie expected to spend the that exists in the universe is the present, that the past is rest of his life quietly adding up rows of figures. Unfor- only a memory, and that the universe is literally broken tunately, shortly after he became the Bursar, Mustrum down and rebuilt by Time from moment to moment, in an Ridcully was appointed Archchancellor. The brashness interval which would come to be known as the ”quantum of Ridcully’s personality wore away at the Bursar, a man cosmic tick”[1]. Considering this, he said, the only appro- whose idea of excitement was a soft-boiled egg, and Dr. priate state of mind is surprise; and of the heart, joy. Wen Dinwiddie is now almost completely insane. is also involved in a relationship with the personification of Time, the only man she ever stopped for. Considering 15:00 – 15:30 the name of the castle Oi Dong, he is a reference to King Nature of time Wen, the mythical author of I Ching, Wen the Eternally Surprised,

15:30 – 16:00 coffee break

16:00 – 16:15 16:30 – 16:45 Troll bridge The Wee Free Men Cohen, G. Aching, T.

Disc world Downland Rimward from the Ramtops Ghenghiz Cohen, known as Cohen the Barbarian is a hero As a witch, Tiffany possesses First Sight, the ability to in the classical sense, i.e., a professional thief, brawler and see ’what is really there’ (as opposed to Second Sight, ravisher of women. which shows people what they think ought to be there). The man who introduced the world to the concept of She also possesses Second Thoughts, which are defined as ”wholesale” destruction, Cohen is the Discworld’s great- ’the thoughts you think about the way you think’. Whilst est warrior hero, renowned across the Disc for his exploits other witches are said to have this trait as well, Tiffany rescuing maidens, destroying the mad high priests of dark also recognizes some of her thoughts as Third Thoughts cults, looting ancient ruins, and so on. (the thoughts you think about the way you think about the way you think) and Fourth Thoughts (the thoughts you think about the way you think about the way you 16:15 – 16:30 think about the way you think). All these thoughts some- Cooking some special thinks times cause Tiffany to walk into doorframes. Like her Ogg, G. grandmother, she appears to have a symbiotic, spiritual link with the hills on which she lives, and as such has Lancre shown herself to be strongly protective of the region and Nanny enjoys food and drink despite only having one re- all its inhabitants. On several occasions, Tiffany has in- maining tooth (the sight of Nanny Ogg eating a pickled duced in herself a state of total mental clarity, becoming onion is described as bringing tears to the eyes). When completely aware of every sensation, life-form and object she is drunk, she has a tendency to sing very ”special” around her, including the land itself. songs, the most popular being ”The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All” or simply ”The Hedgehog Song” (never really unveiled by the author beyond a few lines, 16:45 – 17:00 but many readers have written their own versions).[1] A Making money close runner up for the most popular Nanny Ogg song is Lipwig, M.von ”A Wizard’s Staff has a Knob on the End”, a version of which has been written by Heather Wood, with music by Ankh-Morpork, DW Dave Greenslade. Moist von Lipwig is a professional criminal and con man to whom Havelock Vetinari gives a ”second chance” after

9 Abstracts Tuesday staging his execution, recognising the advantages his jack- characters in this series include Adora Belle Dearheart, of-all-trades abilities would have to the development of Lipwig’s acerbic, chain-smoking fiance; Gladys, a golem the city. After setting him in charge of the Ankh-Morpork who develops a strange crush on Lipwig; and Stanley Post Office in Going Postal, to good result, Vetinari or- Howler, a mildly autistic young man who was raised by dered him to clear up the city’s corrupt financial sector in peas (Note not ”on” peas, ”by”), and becomes the Disc’s Making Money. A third book, in which Lipwig is ordered first stamp collector. to organise the city’s taxation system, is planned. Other Icebreaker

Tuesday

08:30 – 08:45 Dwarfs Necromancer Littlebottom, C. Hix, J. City watch Unseen University, Disc World Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for ’Hicks with an X’ in Unseen Academicals, after changing the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly his name from Hicks because it didn’t suit his position. female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often Dr Hix is a necromancer. Since necromancy is officially wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels banned in Ankh-Morpork, he is instead the Head of the on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in Department of Post Mortem Communications (although Dwarfish as Sh’rt’azs (’shortarse’). Her family lives in he acknowledges this is just a fancy way of saying necro- berwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in mancy). Dr Hix has one member of staff, a reanimated a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is in- skeleton called Charlie, who helps procure the tools of the troduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent trade (which are mostly items from the joke shop down the Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. Cheery road). Dr Hix did have another member of staff, the late was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!. Professor Flead, but insorcized him into the Pink Pussycat Club at the end of Making Money (the Professor haunts 09:15 – 09:30 the club, and the club does not mind the loss of one chair Bursar out of the club’s seating capacity). Dr Hix frequently Dinwiddie, A.A. misbehaves, performs evil deeds and makes comments in bad taste as he is required to under University statute, a Unseen University, Disc World fact which the other members of UU grudgingly accept. The Bursar is a quiet, reserved person, who took the job of He uses the phrase ”Skull ring, remember?” as an excuse University treasurer because he had an affinity for num- for his misbehavior. bers (the Archchancellor describes him as ”one of those idiot servants”) and there was less competition for the role 08:45 – 9:00 than other faculty posts. Dwarfs He took over the job from the previous Bursar, Spelter, Littlebottom, C. after the latter was killed trying to save the Library from destruction in Sourcery. Dinwiddie expected to spend the City watch rest of his life quietly adding up rows of figures. Unfor- Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for tunately, shortly after he became the Bursar, Mustrum the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly Ridcully was appointed Archchancellor. The brashness female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often of Ridcully’s personality wore away at the Bursar, a man wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels whose idea of excitement was a soft-boiled egg, and Dr. on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in Dinwiddie is now almost completely insane. Dwarfish as Sh’rt’azs (’shortarse’). Her family lives in berwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in 09:30 – 10:00 a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is in- The taum troduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent Ponder, S. Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. Cheery was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!. UU, DW On the Discworld, where magic has more in common 09:00 – 09:15 with particle physics than Houdini, high-level background

10 Tuesday Abstracts magic (most likely a reference to real-world background quantum physics. The basic unit of Discworld magic is radiation) occurs when a very powerful spell hits, creating the thaum (from the Greek thauma, marvel), equal to a myriad of sub-astral particles that severely distort local the amount of mystical energy required to conjure up one reality. Building a house in (or even walking into) a region small white pigeon, or three normal-sized billiard balls. where this has happened is extremely dangerous as it is Several SI-modifiers have been applied to it (e.g. mil- mentioned that an individual may not remain the same lithaum, kilothaum) in the books. Discworld magic can species, shape or level of sanity, as they were when they be measured with a thaumometer, which is described as a entered. Medium levels cause odd effects, such as coins black cube with a dial on one side. A standard thaumome- landing on their edges and turning into caterpillars. Areas ter is good for up to a million thaums, beyond that level, with larger than normal quantities of background magic Discworld reality starts to break down. The thaum also tend to display unusual qualities, even for the Disc. Very appears to be a particle; the Discworld physics equivalent high quantities of magic can knock a hole in Discworld of the atom. ”Splitting the thaum” revealed that it was reality, leading to an invasion by Lovecraftian monstrosi- in fact composed of numerous sub-particles, called resons ties from the Dungeon Dimensions, or, almost as bad, the (”thingies”) which in turn are created from a combination world of the Elves. In the Discworld universe, magic is of up to five ”flavours”: up, down, sideways, sex appeal, broken into elementary particulate fragments in much the and peppermint (see the real-world quarks). same way that energy and other forces are in real-world

10:00 – 10:30 coffee break

10:30 – 11:15 as a strong but slow-witted warrior, she could use him The Fifth Elephant to defeat her brothers and then place him as a puppet Quirm, L. lord. Having kidnapped Hrun and Twoflower (for whom she expresses no interest and has locked away), she tests The palace, Ankh Morporck Hrun by trying to stab him in his sleep. Hrun grabs her A lot new. wrist and almost breaks it. Convinced of the fellow bar- barian’s agility, she tells him that he may marry her if 11:15 – 12:00 he defeats her brothers. Hrun accepts and succeeds in Lord of Wyrmberg carrying out her orders, but refuses to definitely kill her Dragonlady, L. siblings. Liessa agrees to banishing them instead and tells Hrun tenderly (calling him by name for the first time) Wyrmberg, DW that she did not expect such mercy from him. It seems Daughter of Geicha the First, lord of the Wyrmberg, and at that point that Liessa is developing genuine feelings for leader of the dragonriders. An archetypal fantasy bar- her husband-to-be. But Liessa still has one more trial in barian woman, she has red chestnut hair, is curvaceous store for him: she strips till she is naked, so as to see how and wears almost nothing except for a chainmail harness. much passion he truly has for her. Before the couple can Liessa’s ambitions are high: having poisoned her father, embark onto anything intimate however, Hrun is snatched the traditional means of succession in her family, she is away by Rincewind and Twoflower riding Twoflower’s hindered by the fact that as a woman, she cannot become dragon Ninereeds. In desperation, Liessa summons her lord of the Wyrmberg and faces intense rivalty from her own dragon to pursue them (still naked, as Pratchett two brothers. There is however a loophole: by marrying makes a point of). Ninereeds nearly outruns her but a man who would then become lord of the Wyrmberg vanishes when Twoflower loses consciousness, causing ev- through allegiance, she could act as the real power behind eryone riding him to fall. Liessa abandons Rincewind and the throne. When she forments this plan, Rincewind, Twoflower to their fate and catches Hrun on her dragon, Twoflower and Hrun the Barbarian are passing close to and the two share a passionate kiss. her mountain country. Liessa is interested in Hrun, for

12:00 – 14:00 lunch break

11 Abstracts Tuesday

14:00 – 14:15 around her, including the land itself. Troll bridge Cohen, G. 14:45 – 15:15 Geopgrahy Disc world Anonymous, A Ghenghiz Cohen, known as Cohen the Barbarian is a hero in the classical sense, i.e., a professional thief, brawler and somewhere ravisher of women. The Disc itself is described as roughly 10,000 miles wide, The man who introduced the world to the concept of giving it a surface area two-fifths that of the Earth, which ”wholesale” destruction, Cohen is the Discworld’s great- would make it roughly the size of the Pacific Ocean. In est warrior hero, renowned across the Disc for his exploits addition to its flatness, Pratchett gives it another princi- rescuing maidens, destroying the mad high priests of dark pal geographic feature; Cori Celesti, a great, 10-mile-high cults, looting ancient ruins, and so on. spire of rock that lies at its exact centre and is the point of origin for its standing magical field. Cori Celesti is also 14:15 – 14:30 the location of the Discworld version of real-world Greek Cooking some special thinks Mythology’s Mt. Olympus, named Dunmanifestin, the Ogg, G. home of many of the Disc’s gods. The area including Cori Celesti is known as The Hub, a land of high, icebound Lancre mountains that serves as an analogue to the real-world Nanny enjoys food and drink despite only having one re- Himalayas, polar regions (since, although the Disc has no maining tooth (the sight of Nanny Ogg eating a pickled poles as such, it is as far as possible from the Disc’s edge onion is described as bringing tears to the eyes). When and thus the sun), and Scandinavia the Hublanders share she is drunk, she has a tendency to sing very ”special” many features with vikings. Polar bears are renamed songs, the most popular being ”The Hedgehog Can Never ”Hubland bears”, while the Disc’s equivalent of the au- Be Buggered At All” or simply ”The Hedgehog Song” rora borealis (described as being produced by the Disc’s (never really unveiled by the author beyond a few lines, magical field, rather than by magnetism) is known as the but many readers have written their own versions).[1] A ”aurora corealis.” Directions within the Discworld are not close runner up for the most popular Nanny Ogg song is given as North, South, East and West, but rather as di- ”A Wizard’s Staff has a Knob on the End”, a version of rections relating to the disc itself: Hubward (towards the which has been written by Heather Wood, with music by centre), Rimward (away from the centre) and to a lesser Dave Greenslade. extent, turnwise and widdershins (respectively, with and against the direction of the Disc’s spin). 14:30 – 14:45 The Wee Free Men Aching, T. 15:15 – 15:30 Making money Downland Rimward from the Ramtops Lipwig, M.von As a witch, Tiffany possesses First Sight, the ability to see ’what is really there’ (as opposed to Second Sight, Ankh-Morpork, DW which shows people what they think ought to be there). Moist von Lipwig is a professional criminal and con man She also possesses Second Thoughts, which are defined as to whom Havelock Vetinari gives a ”second chance” after ’the thoughts you think about the way you think’. Whilst staging his execution, recognising the advantages his jack- other witches are said to have this trait as well, Tiffany of-all-trades abilities would have to the development of also recognizes some of her thoughts as Third Thoughts the city. After setting him in charge of the Ankh-Morpork (the thoughts you think about the way you think about Post Office in Going Postal, to good result, Vetinari or- the way you think) and Fourth Thoughts (the thoughts dered him to clear up the city’s corrupt financial sector in you think about the way you think about the way you Making Money. A third book, in which Lipwig is ordered think about the way you think). All these thoughts some- to organise the city’s taxation system, is planned. Other times cause Tiffany to walk into doorframes. Like her characters in this series include Adora Belle Dearheart, grandmother, she appears to have a symbiotic, spiritual Lipwig’s acerbic, chain-smoking fiance; Gladys, a golem link with the hills on which she lives, and as such has who develops a strange crush on Lipwig; and Stanley shown herself to be strongly protective of the region and Howler, a mildly autistic young man who was raised by all its inhabitants. On several occasions, Tiffany has in- peas (Note not ”on” peas, ”by”), and becomes the Disc’s duced in herself a state of total mental clarity, becoming first stamp collector. completely aware of every sensation, life-form and object

12 Wednesday Abstracts

15:30 – 16:00 coffee break

16:00 – 16:45 gency, a ”citizens militia” of varied size. Guards! Guards! Vimes, S.1,2 , Ironfoundersson, C.1,3, Angua von Uberwald,¨ D.1,4, Colon, F.5, Nobbs, N.6 16:45 – 17:30 Hex 1Treacle Mine Road, Ankh-Morporck, Disc World Ponder, S. 2Abused Or Abandoned Swamp Dragons 3Ramtops, Disc World High Energy Magic Building, UU, Discworld 4 Uberwald¨ Hex is the UU’s first mainframe computer, though in- 5Traffic Squad stead of RAM, it has ram skulls, and its mouse is an 6stuff actual mouse. Its ”brain” consists of a series of glass At this time there were four separate forces: The Palace tubes filled with ants, which form its processor, and a Guard, who guarded the palace; the Cable Street Particu- beehive in a back room, which comprises its hard drive. lars,[1] who served as government intelligence; the Ward, Initially just a computer, it has gradually developed more who acted as gate-guards, thief-takers etc. during the day; of a personality over the course of the series. Ponder and the Watch, who served the same purpose in the hours Stibbons has by default become the person in charge of of darkness. The force comprised one commander, five developing and operating Hex, though he admits that Hex captains, ten sergeants, forty corporals, lance-corporals, largely develops itself. [edit] constables and lance-constables, and, in times of emer-

Wednesday

08:30 – 9:15 he defeats her brothers. Hrun accepts and succeeds in Lord of Wyrmberg carrying out her orders, but refuses to definitely kill her Dragonlady, L. siblings. Liessa agrees to banishing them instead and tells Hrun tenderly (calling him by name for the first time) Wyrmberg, DW that she did not expect such mercy from him. It seems Daughter of Geicha the First, lord of the Wyrmberg, and at that point that Liessa is developing genuine feelings for leader of the dragonriders. An archetypal fantasy bar- her husband-to-be. But Liessa still has one more trial in barian woman, she has red chestnut hair, is curvaceous store for him: she strips till she is naked, so as to see how and wears almost nothing except for a chainmail harness. much passion he truly has for her. Before the couple can Liessa’s ambitions are high: having poisoned her father, embark onto anything intimate however, Hrun is snatched the traditional means of succession in her family, she is away by Rincewind and Twoflower riding Twoflower’s hindered by the fact that as a woman, she cannot become dragon Ninereeds. In desperation, Liessa summons her lord of the Wyrmberg and faces intense rivalty from her own dragon to pursue them (still naked, as Pratchett two brothers. There is however a loophole: by marrying makes a point of). Ninereeds nearly outruns her but a man who would then become lord of the Wyrmberg vanishes when Twoflower loses consciousness, causing ev- through allegiance, she could act as the real power behind eryone riding him to fall. Liessa abandons Rincewind and the throne. When she forments this plan, Rincewind, Twoflower to their fate and catches Hrun on her dragon, Twoflower and Hrun the Barbarian are passing close to and the two share a passionate kiss. her mountain country. Liessa is interested in Hrun, for as a strong but slow-witted warrior, she could use him to defeat her brothers and then place him as a puppet 09:15 – 09:45 lord. Having kidnapped Hrun and Twoflower (for whom The Luggage she expresses no interest and has locked away), she tests Rincewind, R. Hrun by trying to stab him in his sleep. Hrun grabs her wrist and almost breaks it. Convinced of the fellow bar- Unseen University, Disc World barian’s agility, she tells him that he may marry her if The Luggage is a large chest that follows Rincewind lit- erally wherever he goes- even onto Roundworld, which

13 Abstracts Wednesday

Rincewind only visited virtually. It is made of sapient man”. (Due to the Disc’s narrative causality such a per- pearwood (a magical, intelligent plant which is nearly son is almost always a highly-trained martial artist. Rule extinct, impervious to magic, and only grows in a few Nineteen states: ”Remember never to forget Rule One, places outside the Agatean Empire, generally on sites of and always ask yourself, how come it was created in the very old magic). It can produce hundreds of little legs first place?”) It is the opinion of many that Lu-Tze uses protruding from its underside and can move very fast if Rule One to bluff his way out of trouble, but, if necessary, the need arises. It has been described as ”half suitcase, he can prove it’s no bluff. He does this towards the end half homicidal maniac” of Thief of Time by defeating Lobsang Ludd (then incar- nated as the personification of Time) in a fair fight, in 09:45 – 10:00 front of a crowd of higher monks. As he said, ”Def’nitely Monastery of Oi-Dong give the ol’ Rule One a fillip.” In many respects, Lu- Lu-Tze, Tze’s methods resemble those of Granny Weatherwax, the Discworld’s most powerful witch: both characters are Monastery of Oi-Dong, DW extremely skilled in their chosen field, but because of their He is very good at martial arts when he needs to be and refusal to flaunt their skill are sometimes accused of being is the only known master of ”Dj fu”, in which the hands powerless frauds; both possess a great insight into the move in time as well as space. This is best described nature of human behaviour, and prefer to use this insight as ’the feeling you’ve been kicked in the head this way against their opponents when threatened, only resorting before’. Generally he relies on the fact no-one notices to open displays of power when all other options have a sweeper, a well-honed ability to talk his way out of been exhausted. anything and ”Rule One”. Rule One states ”Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling

10:00 – 10:30 coffee break

10:30 – 11:00 memory of having spoken directly into people’s minds. Death of Rats Pratchett represents this idiosyncratic form of commu- Susan, S.H. nication in simple plain text, without quotations, and italicized in some books. They are, in a sense, similar to Quirm College for Young Ladies the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions in that they Susan is a ”slightly built young woman”; both Mustrum represent a higher abstract principle hostile to ordinary Ridcully and Terry Pratchett himself have described her mortal life, but from the opposite direction of Law rather as being ”attractive in a skinny way” [1]. Her hair is pure than Chaos (see Michael Moorcock’s Eternal Champion white, but with a streak of black running through it from series). The History Monks categorise the Auditors and end to end. Although its natural state is a frizzy mass the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions as the same reminiscent of a dandelion, it rearranges its style of its class of being, dhlangs or evil spirits, but see the Auditors own accord depending on Susan’s mood; it tends to form as the most dangerous, at least according to Lu-Tze, who a tight bun while she is working. In The Art of Discworld, names them the ”Enemies of Mind”. Paul Kidby draws Susan in Edwardian clothing, which he feels fits well with her job as a nanny in Hogfather. 11:30 – 12:00 Soul-eater 11:00 – 11:30 Shamharoth, Bel The Auditors Soak, R. Inner dimension Bel-Shamharoth is also known as the ”Soul-Eater,” the Ankh-Morpork ”Soul-Render,” or the ”Sender of Eight.” The inner di- Being personifications of a concept, the Auditors have no mensions of his eight-sided temple disobey a fairly basic fixed shape. When they manifest in the world, however, rule of architecture by being bigger on the inside than they almost always appear as empty grey cowled robes, an on the outside, like many other Discworld buildings. It appearance which conveys drabness and dullness rather is quite disgusting, full of tunnels covered with unpleas- than danger. They do not speak, but rather impart the ant carvings and disjointed skeletons, and lit by a violet

14 Thursday Abstracts light almost black. The eight-sided crystals set at inter- routes lead to the centre, where an intense violet light vals shed a rather unpleasant glow that does not light illuminates a wide room with eight walls and eight pas- the room, rather emphasizing the darkness. The floor sages. In the room, there is a low, eight-sided altar and a is covered with eight-sided tiles (impossible with regular huge stone slab, also eight-sided, and slightly tilted. Un- octagons, which do not tessellate, but possible for some der that is a black tentacled creature with an enormous irregular eight-sided figures, and hyperbolic octagons) and eye and thousands of suckers and tentacles and mandibles: the walls slope to create eight-sided corridors. Even the Bel-Shamharoth. stones can sometimes be seen to have eight sides. All

12:00 – 14:00 lunch break

Excursion

Thursday

08:30 – 08:45 and wears almost nothing except for a chainmail harness. Necromancer Liessa’s ambitions are high: having poisoned her father, Hix, J. the traditional means of succession in her family, she is hindered by the fact that as a woman, she cannot become Unseen University, Disc World lord of the Wyrmberg and faces intense rivalty from her ’Hicks with an X’ in Unseen Academicals, after changing two brothers. There is however a loophole: by marrying his name from Hicks because it didn’t suit his position. a man who would then become lord of the Wyrmberg Dr Hix is a necromancer. Since necromancy is officially through allegiance, she could act as the real power behind banned in Ankh-Morpork, he is instead the Head of the the throne. When she forments this plan, Rincewind, Department of Post Mortem Communications (although Twoflower and Hrun the Barbarian are passing close to he acknowledges this is just a fancy way of saying necro- her mountain country. Liessa is interested in Hrun, for mancy). Dr Hix has one member of staff, a reanimated as a strong but slow-witted warrior, she could use him skeleton called Charlie, who helps procure the tools of the to defeat her brothers and then place him as a puppet trade (which are mostly items from the joke shop down the lord. Having kidnapped Hrun and Twoflower (for whom road). Dr Hix did have another member of staff, the late she expresses no interest and has locked away), she tests Professor Flead, but insorcized him into the Pink Pussycat Hrun by trying to stab him in his sleep. Hrun grabs her Club at the end of Making Money (the Professor haunts wrist and almost breaks it. Convinced of the fellow bar- the club, and the club does not mind the loss of one chair barian’s agility, she tells him that he may marry her if out of the club’s seating capacity). Dr Hix frequently he defeats her brothers. Hrun accepts and succeeds in misbehaves, performs evil deeds and makes comments in carrying out her orders, but refuses to definitely kill her bad taste as he is required to under University statute, a siblings. Liessa agrees to banishing them instead and tells fact which the other members of UU grudgingly accept. Hrun tenderly (calling him by name for the first time) He uses the phrase ”Skull ring, remember?” as an excuse that she did not expect such mercy from him. It seems for his misbehavior. at that point that Liessa is developing genuine feelings for her husband-to-be. But Liessa still has one more trial in store for him: she strips till she is naked, so as to see how 08:45 – 9:30 much passion he truly has for her. Before the couple can Lord of Wyrmberg embark onto anything intimate however, Hrun is snatched Dragonlady, L. away by Rincewind and Twoflower riding Twoflower’s dragon Ninereeds. In desperation, Liessa summons her Wyrmberg, DW own dragon to pursue them (still naked, as Pratchett Daughter of Geicha the First, lord of the Wyrmberg, and makes a point of). Ninereeds nearly outruns her but leader of the dragonriders. An archetypal fantasy bar- vanishes when Twoflower loses consciousness, causing ev- barian woman, she has red chestnut hair, is curvaceous

15 Abstracts Thursday eryone riding him to fall. Liessa abandons Rincewind and memory of having spoken directly into people’s minds. Twoflower to their fate and catches Hrun on her dragon, Pratchett represents this idiosyncratic form of commu- and the two share a passionate kiss. nication in simple plain text, without quotations, and italicized in some books. They are, in a sense, similar to 09:30 – 10:00 the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions in that they The Auditors represent a higher abstract principle hostile to ordinary Soak, R. mortal life, but from the opposite direction of Law rather than Chaos (see Michael Moorcock’s Eternal Champion Ankh-Morpork series). The History Monks categorise the Auditors and Being personifications of a concept, the Auditors have no the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions as the same fixed shape. When they manifest in the world, however, class of being, dhlangs or evil spirits, but see the Auditors they almost always appear as empty grey cowled robes, an as the most dangerous, at least according to Lu-Tze, who appearance which conveys drabness and dullness rather names them the ”Enemies of Mind”. than danger. They do not speak, but rather impart the

10:00 – 10:30 coffee break

10:30 – 10:45 whose idea of excitement was a soft-boiled egg, and Dr. Dwarfs Dinwiddie is now almost completely insane. Littlebottom, C. 11:00 – 11:15 City watch Troll bridge Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for Cohen, G. the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often Disc world wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels Ghenghiz Cohen, known as Cohen the Barbarian is a hero on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in in the classical sense, i.e., a professional thief, brawler and Dwarfish as Sh’rt’azs (’shortarse’). Her family lives in ravisher of women. berwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in The man who introduced the world to the concept of a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is in- ”wholesale” destruction, Cohen is the Discworld’s great- troduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent est warrior hero, renowned across the Disc for his exploits Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. Cheery rescuing maidens, destroying the mad high priests of dark was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!. cults, looting ancient ruins, and so on.

10:45 – 11:00 11:15 – 11:30 Bursar Cooking some special thinks Dinwiddie, A.A. Ogg, G.

Unseen University, Disc World Lancre The Bursar is a quiet, reserved person, who took the job of Nanny enjoys food and drink despite only having one re- University treasurer because he had an affinity for num- maining tooth (the sight of Nanny Ogg eating a pickled bers (the Archchancellor describes him as ”one of those onion is described as bringing tears to the eyes). When idiot servants”) and there was less competition for the role she is drunk, she has a tendency to sing very ”special” than other faculty posts. songs, the most popular being ”The Hedgehog Can Never He took over the job from the previous Bursar, Spelter, Be Buggered At All” or simply ”The Hedgehog Song” after the latter was killed trying to save the Library from (never really unveiled by the author beyond a few lines, destruction in Sourcery. Dinwiddie expected to spend the but many readers have written their own versions).[1] A rest of his life quietly adding up rows of figures. Unfor- close runner up for the most popular Nanny Ogg song is tunately, shortly after he became the Bursar, Mustrum ”A Wizard’s Staff has a Knob on the End”, a version of Ridcully was appointed Archchancellor. The brashness which has been written by Heather Wood, with music by of Ridcully’s personality wore away at the Bursar, a man Dave Greenslade.

16 Thursday Abstracts

around her, including the land itself. 11:30 – 11:45 The Wee Free Men Aching, T. 11:45 – 12:00 Making money Downland Rimward from the Ramtops Lipwig, M.von As a witch, Tiffany possesses First Sight, the ability to see ’what is really there’ (as opposed to Second Sight, Ankh-Morpork, DW which shows people what they think ought to be there). Moist von Lipwig is a professional criminal and con man She also possesses Second Thoughts, which are defined as to whom Havelock Vetinari gives a ”second chance” after ’the thoughts you think about the way you think’. Whilst staging his execution, recognising the advantages his jack- other witches are said to have this trait as well, Tiffany of-all-trades abilities would have to the development of also recognizes some of her thoughts as Third Thoughts the city. After setting him in charge of the Ankh-Morpork (the thoughts you think about the way you think about Post Office in Going Postal, to good result, Vetinari or- the way you think) and Fourth Thoughts (the thoughts dered him to clear up the city’s corrupt financial sector in you think about the way you think about the way you Making Money. A third book, in which Lipwig is ordered think about the way you think). All these thoughts some- to organise the city’s taxation system, is planned. Other times cause Tiffany to walk into doorframes. Like her characters in this series include Adora Belle Dearheart, grandmother, she appears to have a symbiotic, spiritual Lipwig’s acerbic, chain-smoking fiance; Gladys, a golem link with the hills on which she lives, and as such has who develops a strange crush on Lipwig; and Stanley shown herself to be strongly protective of the region and Howler, a mildly autistic young man who was raised by all its inhabitants. On several occasions, Tiffany has in- peas (Note not ”on” peas, ”by”), and becomes the Disc’s duced in herself a state of total mental clarity, becoming first stamp collector. completely aware of every sensation, life-form and object

12:00 – 14:00 lunch break

14:00 – 14:30 as ’the feeling you’ve been kicked in the head this way Death of Rats before’. Generally he relies on the fact no-one notices Susan, S.H. a sweeper, a well-honed ability to talk his way out of anything and ”Rule One”. Rule One states ”Do not act Quirm College for Young Ladies incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling Susan is a ”slightly built young woman”; both Mustrum man”. (Due to the Disc’s narrative causality such a per- Ridcully and Terry Pratchett himself have described her son is almost always a highly-trained martial artist. Rule as being ”attractive in a skinny way” [1]. Her hair is pure Nineteen states: ”Remember never to forget Rule One, white, but with a streak of black running through it from and always ask yourself, how come it was created in the end to end. Although its natural state is a frizzy mass first place?”) It is the opinion of many that Lu-Tze uses reminiscent of a dandelion, it rearranges its style of its Rule One to bluff his way out of trouble, but, if necessary, own accord depending on Susan’s mood; it tends to form he can prove it’s no bluff. He does this towards the end a tight bun while she is working. In The Art of Discworld, of Thief of Time by defeating Lobsang Ludd (then incar- Paul Kidby draws Susan in Edwardian clothing, which he nated as the personification of Time) in a fair fight, in feels fits well with her job as a nanny in Hogfather. front of a crowd of higher monks. As he said, ”Def’nitely give the ol’ Rule One a fillip.” In many respects, Lu- Tze’s methods resemble those of Granny Weatherwax, 14:30 – 14:45 the Discworld’s most powerful witch: both characters are Monastery of Oi-Dong extremely skilled in their chosen field, but because of their Lu-Tze, refusal to flaunt their skill are sometimes accused of being powerless frauds; both possess a great insight into the Monastery of Oi-Dong, DW nature of human behaviour, and prefer to use this insight He is very good at martial arts when he needs to be and against their opponents when threatened, only resorting is the only known master of ”Dj fu”, in which the hands to open displays of power when all other options have move in time as well as space. This is best described

17 Abstracts Thursday been exhausted. The palace, Ankh Morporck 14:45 – 15:30 A lot new. The Fifth Elephant Quirm, L.

15:30 – 16:00 coffee break

16:00 – 16:15 to him. Pratchett suggests this is probably due to the Thief of time fact that he is very good at his job. His special recipe Ludd, L. for humbugs, submitted to Nanny Ogg, calls for ”arsenic to taste”, though, since arsenic is actually very traceable, Ankh-Morpork, DW this is likely a slight bit of misinformation on his part. Lobsang (born Newgate Ludd) was raised by the Ankh- One current tradition he maintains is inviting certain stu- Morpork Thieves’ Guild, but was discovered by Soto of dents to his office for sherry and an almond slice. Given the History Monks when Lobsang performed the Stance of the nature of most Assassins’ Guild traditions, this could the Coyote (personalized time shift, possibly a reference be seen as a kind of impromptu ”pass or fail” examination to cartoon character Wile E. Coyote’s ability to pause in (see bitter almonds for the reason why). mid-air, often for comic effect) in order to save his own Lord Downey first appears in Men at Arms, makes life after falling from a rooftop, which would have killed his first appearance as Guildmaster in Feet of Clay, and him. Afterwards he was sent to and raised in the Tem- appears again in Hogfather. He also appears in Night ple, where he confounded his teachers by knowing too Watch as a student bully. In the Sky One adaptation of much, but not knowing how he knows it, and even then Hogfather Downey was played by David Warner. not knowing that he knows it till he is asked the specific question. Eventually he was apprenticed to Lu-Tze after 16:30 – 16:45 his teachers were unable to teach him. This move was Om not entirely in Lobsangs best interests- due to internal Brutha, politics, it was hoped they would ”break” each other. Lu- Tze theorised that time’s hold on him was ”loose” for Omnia example, Lobsang could demonstrate a negative reaction With the help of Ephebe’s Great Library, and the philoso- time- moving towards something before it starts moving, phers Didactylos, his nephew, Urn, and Abraxas, Om though this theory eventually proved to be wrong. During learns that Brutha is the only one left who believes in this time he showed several unique powers, being able to him. All others either just fear the Quisition’s wrath sense the direction of a time disturbance, balancing the or go along with the church out of habit. While in ”load” of time down to less than a second after a Time Ephebe, Brutha’s memory aids an Omnian raid through Crash (which a man with 50,000 years experience claims the Labyrinth guarding the Tyrant’s palace. While in the he couldn’t even hope to do) and reacting (and being library of Ephebe, Brutha also memorizes many scrolls in reacted to) the Mandala, a visual display of Time on the order to protect Ephebeian knowledge as Omnian soldiers Disk. After the time crash he goes out into the world to set fire to the building. stop the second Glass Clock, (under the pretext of being shown the Way of Mrs Cosmopolite) which was being con- structed by his then unknown temporal double, Jeremy 16:45 – 17:30 Clockson. Lord of Wyrmberg Dragonlady, L.

16:15 – 16:30 Wyrmberg, DW Bell Tower Daughter of Geicha the First, lord of the Wyrmberg, and Downey, Lord leader of the dragonriders. An archetypal fantasy bar- barian woman, she has red chestnut hair, is curvaceous Ankh-Morpork and wears almost nothing except for a chainmail harness. Allegedly, Lord Downey’s preferred method of inhumation Liessa’s ambitions are high: having poisoned her father, is poisoning, though no deaths have yet been attributed the traditional means of succession in her family, she is

18 Friday Abstracts hindered by the fact that as a woman, she cannot become siblings. Liessa agrees to banishing them instead and tells lord of the Wyrmberg and faces intense rivalty from her Hrun tenderly (calling him by name for the first time) two brothers. There is however a loophole: by marrying that she did not expect such mercy from him. It seems a man who would then become lord of the Wyrmberg at that point that Liessa is developing genuine feelings for through allegiance, she could act as the real power behind her husband-to-be. But Liessa still has one more trial in the throne. When she forments this plan, Rincewind, store for him: she strips till she is naked, so as to see how Twoflower and Hrun the Barbarian are passing close to much passion he truly has for her. Before the couple can her mountain country. Liessa is interested in Hrun, for embark onto anything intimate however, Hrun is snatched as a strong but slow-witted warrior, she could use him away by Rincewind and Twoflower riding Twoflower’s to defeat her brothers and then place him as a puppet dragon Ninereeds. In desperation, Liessa summons her lord. Having kidnapped Hrun and Twoflower (for whom own dragon to pursue them (still naked, as Pratchett she expresses no interest and has locked away), she tests makes a point of). Ninereeds nearly outruns her but Hrun by trying to stab him in his sleep. Hrun grabs her vanishes when Twoflower loses consciousness, causing ev- wrist and almost breaks it. Convinced of the fellow bar- eryone riding him to fall. Liessa abandons Rincewind and barian’s agility, she tells him that he may marry her if Twoflower to their fate and catches Hrun on her dragon, he defeats her brothers. Hrun accepts and succeeds in and the two share a passionate kiss. carrying out her orders, but refuses to definitely kill her Diner

Friday

08:30 – 9:15 Uberwald,¨ D.1,4, Colon, F.5, Nobbs, N.6 Hex Ponder, S. 1Treacle Mine Road, Ankh-Morporck, Disc World 2Abused Or Abandoned Swamp Dragons High Energy Magic Building, UU, Discworld 3Ramtops, Disc World Hex is the UU’s first mainframe computer, though in- 4 Uberwald¨ stead of RAM, it has ram skulls, and its mouse is an 5Traffic Squad actual mouse. Its ”brain” consists of a series of glass 6stuff tubes filled with ants, which form its processor, and a At this time there were four separate forces: The Palace beehive in a back room, which comprises its hard drive. Guard, who guarded the palace; the Cable Street Particu- Initially just a computer, it has gradually developed more lars,[1] who served as government intelligence; the Ward, of a personality over the course of the series. Ponder who acted as gate-guards, thief-takers etc. during the day; Stibbons has by default become the person in charge of and the Watch, who served the same purpose in the hours developing and operating Hex, though he admits that Hex of darkness. The force comprised one commander, five largely develops itself. [edit] captains, ten sergeants, forty corporals, lance-corporals, constables and lance-constables, and, in times of emer- 09:15 – 10:00 gency, a ”citizens militia” of varied size. Guards! Guards! Vimes, S.1,2 , Ironfoundersson, C.1,3, Angua von

10:00 – 10:30 coffee break

10:30 – 11:00 The Luggage is a large chest that follows Rincewind lit- The Luggage erally wherever he goes- even onto Roundworld, which Rincewind, R. Rincewind only visited virtually. It is made of sapient pearwood (a magical, intelligent plant which is nearly Unseen University, Disc World extinct, impervious to magic, and only grows in a few

19 Abstracts Friday places outside the Agatean Empire, generally on sites of sages. In the room, there is a low, eight-sided altar and a very old magic). It can produce hundreds of little legs huge stone slab, also eight-sided, and slightly tilted. Un- protruding from its underside and can move very fast if der that is a black tentacled creature with an enormous the need arises. It has been described as ”half suitcase, eye and thousands of suckers and tentacles and mandibles: half homicidal maniac” Bel-Shamharoth.

11:00 – 11:30 Soul-eater 11:30 – 12:00 Shamharoth, Bel Turtles A’Tuin, Great Inner dimension Bel-Shamharoth is also known as the ”Soul-Eater,” the Universe ”Soul-Render,” or the ”Sender of Eight.” The inner di- Great A’Tuin’s gender is unknown (though in The Colour mensions of his eight-sided temple disobey a fairly basic of Magic Pratchett describes the turtle as male), but the rule of architecture by being bigger on the inside than subject of much speculation by some of the Disc’s finest on the outside, like many other Discworld buildings. It scientific minds. The sex of the World Turtle is pivotal is quite disgusting, full of tunnels covered with unpleas- in proving or disproving a number of conflicting theories ant carvings and disjointed skeletons, and lit by a violet about the destination of Great A’Tuin’s journey through light almost black. The eight-sided crystals set at inter- the cosmos. If, as the Discworld version of the popu- vals shed a rather unpleasant glow that does not light lar ”big bang theory” states, Great A’Tuin is moving to the room, rather emphasizing the darkness. The floor its mating grounds, then at the point of mating might is covered with eight-sided tiles (impossible with regular the civilizations of the Disc be crushed or simply slide octagons, which do not tessellate, but possible for some off? Attempts by telepaths to learn more about Great irregular eight-sided figures, and hyperbolic octagons) and A’Tuin’s intents have not met with much success, mainly the walls slope to create eight-sided corridors. Even the because they did not realise that its brain functions are stones can sometimes be seen to have eight sides. All on such a slow timescale. All they’ve been able to discern routes lead to the centre, where an intense violet light is that the Great A’Tuin is looking forward to something. illuminates a wide room with eight walls and eight pas-

12:00 – 14:00 lunch break

14:00 – 14:15 Winter Billabong Wintersmith, Rincewind, B. Snow Fourecks, DW The personification of Winter, he appears in Wintersmith, The story opens weeks after the events of Interesting where he believes he’s fallen in love with Tiffany Aching. Times, in which Rincewind is magically transported to At his core he is the elemental personification of ice. Orig- the continent of XXXX (aka Fourecks, so named because inally just a shape in the snow, with two violet eyes, he no one has any clue what its real name is) due to a mis- later formed a ”snowman” out of all the elements that calculation made by the Unseen University wizards. He make a human body. He creates snowflakes and icebergs, meets the magical kangaroo Scrappy, who was sent by and also the patterns of ice on windows (which may make the creator of Fourecks. Scrappy explains to Rincewind him the same as Jack Frost, although this does not appear that he is fated to bring back ”The Wet,” meaning the to be the case. Possibly Jack Frost is a subordinate, or rain, and that he is the reason for the eons-long drought. an avatar of some kind, or merely formed from the ex- Scrappy says that the continent is unfinished, and time traneous belief like the Verruca Gnome). Despite there and space will be an eternal anomaly there until it is fin- apparently being only one wintersmith, the word is never ished, i.e. the rain is brought back. Rincewind is shown capitalized, and appears to be more of a job description cave paintings of Wizards. than an actual name.

14:15 – 14:30 14:30 – 14:45

20 Friday Abstracts

Dungeon Dimensions Fool to King Verence I, as his father and grandfather were Cthulthu, M.1. before him. Over the course of the book, the Fool meets and falls in love with Magrat Garlick and stands up to the L-space Duke, admitting he saw the murder of Verence I. At the Although Pratchett never makes the connection explicit, end of the book Verence I’s hidden heir, Tomjon, rejects the dark gods of the Necrotelicomnicon are probably crea- the throne. Nanny Ogg then tells everyone that the Fool tures from the Dungeon Dimensions that have found a is Tomjon’s older half-brother. It is assumed that this way to survive in the main discworld universe. If that’s means he is the son of the elder Fool’s wife and Verence the case, then they cannot be seen as gods per se, or I, and he is duly crowned Verence II. However, given how even as demons, since their existence is not dependent on well the Queen got on with the elder Fool, there is another human belief; nor can they be placed on the same moral interpretation. spectrum as gods or demons, since, as they are completely lacking in vitality, they are neither good nor evil, but the 15:15 – 15:30 opposite of both. Rather than being generated by human Ephebe belief, they instead represent the aspects of reality that Didactylos, D. are truly unknowable and hostile to the attempts of hu- man belief to shape it into recognizable forms. The names Ephebe of the Dark Gods are often references to creatures from Meaning ”Two-Fingered” in Ephebian, Didactylos is a the Cthulhu Mythos. philosopher who comes into the stories in Small Gods. He lives in a barrel inside the wall of the palace of the Tyrant 14:45 – 15:00 in Ephebe, and lives off scraps. Although one of the most Schocolate popular philosophers of all time, Didactylos never earns LeJean, M. the respect of his fellow philosophers, due to the fact that he thinks ’about the wrong things’. He has been pictured Concept with a lantern though blind and is looking for an ”honest Myria LeJean makes her entrance as a stunningly attrac- man.” tive woman with long black hair, eccentric mannerisms and seemingly unlimited wealth. Myria, in fact, turns out 15:30 – 15:45 to be the first of The Auditors to inhabit a human body Llamedos for the purposes of manipulating Jeremy Clockson to stop Celyn, I.Y. Time, and to gain an understanding of humans. She initially gives a distinct impression of being inhu- Llamedos, DW man despite her looks, but as time passes she not only A bard from the decidedly Cymric country of Llamedos. learns to be a better mimic, but begins to be lured into In Soul Music he was possessed by ”Music with Rocks in” humanity. Both terrified and fascinated by such things and became the Disc’s greatest musician under the name as individuality (something that had been completely Buddy in the Band with Rocks In along with Cliff and foreign), the subconscious, instinct, flavor, culture and Glod, before dying in a cart crash (a reference to Buddy emotions, Myria gradually gives up her Auditorial traits. Holly Imp’s name translates as ”bud of the holly”. Celyn is Welsh for Holly). The timeline in which this happened 15:00 – 15:15 has, however, been eradicated following Death’s interven- Court jester tion, and he was last seen working in a fried fish stall in lancre, V.II Quirm, a clear reference to Kirsty MacColl’s first hit. Dur- ing the novel several characters comment that he seems a Lncre, DW bit ”elvish” (also a reference to the same Kirsty MacColl King Verence II of Lancre first appears in the sixth novel song, ”There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears of the series, Wyrd Sisters, as the court jester of the He’s Elvis”). monarch of Lancre, Duke Felmet. He was previously the

21 Abstracts Friday

22 Friday Abstracts

Index

A’Tuin, Great, 20 Dragonlady, L., 8, 11, 13, 15, 18 Ponder, S., 7, 10, 13, 19 Aching, T., 9, 12, 17 Angua von Uberwald,¨ D., 13, 19 Hix, J., 7, 10, 15 Quirm, L., 11, 18 Anonymous, A, 12 Ironfoundersson, C., 13, 19 Rincewind, B., 20 Brutha, , 18 lancre, V.II, 21 Rincewind, R., 7, 13, 19 LeJean, M., 21 Celyn, I.Y., 21 Shamharoth, Bel, 14, 20 Lipwig, M.von, 9, 12, 17 Cohen, G., 9, 12, 16 Littlebottom, C., 8, 10, 16 Soak, R., 7, 14, 16 Colon, F., 13, 19 Lu-Tze, , 14, 17 Susan, S.H., 7, 14, 17 Cthulthu, M.1., 21 Ludd, L., 18 Vimes, S., 13, 19 Didactylos, D., 21 Nobbs, N., 13, 19 Dinwiddie, A.A., 8, 10, 16 Wen the Eternally Surprised, , 9 Downey, Lord, 18 Ogg, G., 9, 12, 16 Wintersmith, , 20

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