September 2014 Newsletter

Jersey Camping and Caravanning Club September 2014 Newsletter

September 2014 Contents Two Columns or One? The matter is resolved - Finally!

Editorial 1 Hello and welcome to the September issue of the JCCC Newsletter. Diary Dates 1 Well the controversy over the number of columns and formatting of the Club Summer Walk 2 newsletter rages on. Thank you to all those who responded and to all Coach Trip update 3 those who didn't, well, you only have yourselves to blame if you don't like what you see! I had several responses, some quite enthusiastic Photo Competition 3 for the two column format and some whose attitude seemed to be 'not Theme Evening 3 bothered but one column is probably better' the latter being in the majority. So I have changed back to the single column format. So well Strange Vans 5 done Andrew. You got that bit right! The Thirteenth parish 6 One other comment was, that the diary dates would be better on the Sunset Kampers 7 front page, rather than on page two or three so I have changed that Club August Walk 8 too. Two – nil to you to Andrew! Petites Annonces 9 Robin Dodkins Officers of the Club Newsletter Editor President Glenda Killip 864200 V. President (vacant) Diary dates Hon Sec. Anne Perchard 856629 Hon Treas. Sheila Ecobichon 851660 Saturday 27th September Full day Island tour with lunch. See Reply Rally Liaison Collette Willmett 854875 Slip on page 3 if you wish to attend Newsletter Robin Dodkins 881881 Wednesday 22nd October Photo Competition at Trinity Parish Hall at Committee 8pm. David Killip 864200 Wednesday 12th November Nautical Theme Evening at Trinity Parish Julia Hamon 851840 Hall at 8pm. See Reply Slip on page 3 if you wish to attend Andrew Averty 863938 th Carol Bernardini 744970 Sunday 7 December Christmas lunch at St. Brelade's Bay Hotel. Barry Smith 859867 Wednesday 14th January 2015 Film Evening at Trinity Parish Hall at Auditors 8pm.

David Le Marquand Tuesday 10th February 2015 50th Anniversary Celebration Lunch at Dennis Ferbrache the Somerville Hotel.

Newsletter contributions Wednesday 18th March 2015 Bowling and meal at Jersey Bowl.

Contributions to the newsletter or Wednesday 15th April 2015 AGM at Trinity Parish Hall at 8pm. website are always welcome and should be e-mailed to [email protected] although inclusion in either medium cannot be Dilemma (from Christine and Royston Moulson) guaranteed. Please do not send contributions to my home address as I Spare a thought for the guy who told his wife that he was flying off to am not always there to receive them. China on a business trip.

Web site www.jerseycamping.org.je The plane disappeared and now he can't leave his girlfriend's flat....

A successful walk enjoyed by all, walking the lanes of St. John. Twenty two people attended plus Alan's dog, Lexus with the youngest member being Ronnie and Maureen Cabot's granddaughter Eva, just 3 years old who did very well but ended up on Ronnie's shoulders at the end. It was nice to see Rosalie and Bob Waller joining in too.

The walk lasted an hour, finishing at The Farm House for coffee and a Danish pastry. Some members made up a table and stayed for lunch which was very good value at £7.50.

Many thanks to our three walking Marshall's Alvaro, Carol and Graham.

A report on the Club Walk and supper held on the 21st August is on page 8

October 22nd is the photo competition night at Trinity Parish Hall at 8:00pm and, if previous years are anything to go by, promises to be a really good, fun evening. I do hope members will make the extra effort to bring lots of photos to make it so – maybe the best yet?

Please remember that only prints will be considered for entry and these must be no bigger than 10 x 15 cms (that's 4 x 6 inches in old money). No enlargements please.

You can enter as many photos as you like in the various categories Camp Site, Scenic, Humorous or Miscellaneous and, as usual, the president will select a photo for the caption competition. A prize, (usually liquid!) will be presented for each category. So have a look through all those photos you took this summer and have a go. I bet, like Rosemary and I, you took hundreds, so there must be a couple in the collection that you can enter? You could even win a prize, but you have to be in it, to win it.

Afterwards there will be cheese and wine and a chance to meet up with friends and have a good old natter.

Coach Trip Update

For the September meeting this year, the club has organised a round the Island coach trip, with a stop at the Farmhouse for lunch. It will start and end at the car park at Bechet es Cats, St John (Top of Bonne Nuit Hill) where Members can park easily. There are still places available so if you would like to attend, please complete and return the reply slip below (with your cheque) to Glenda before the 10th September. Remember that the event is open to friends and family, not just club members so if you want to bring along a non member, that's fine.

Reply Slip for the Island Coach Tour on Saturday 27th September 2014 Cost £24.00 per head for coach and lunch at The Farmhouse. I/We will be attending Name(s)______Please enclose a cheque made out to JCCC for:- £______and return, by 2nd September 2014 to:- Glenda Killip, La Cotil de Portelet, La Route de Noirmont, St. Brelade, JE3 8ET

Theme Evening

The Theme Evening this year will be held at Trinity Parish Hall at 8:00pm on November 12 th and will have a nautical theme this time. There will be a small charge for the food and all profits will go to our charity for this year the Jersey Cheshire Home. So if you want to attend, please fill in and return the reply slip below.

Please don't forget to bring 2 plates, cutlery and glasses.

Reply Slip for Theme evening on 12th November 2014 Cost £10.00 per head I/We will be attending Name(s)______Please enclose a cheque made out to JCCC for:- £______and return, by 1st November 2014 to:- Sheila Ecobichon, 13 Le Pres du Roi, Rue de Jambart, St Clement, JE2 6LB

Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with themself.

The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

The Irish Way Of Dealing With Infidelity (from Christine Moulson)

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase."What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!!

'I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife (your daughter) telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever. There's no going back!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"Paddy, I told you there must be a simple explanation: she never got your E-mail!"

Each issue I'll be looking around the world for weird and wonderful caravans, motor homes and other camping pictures. This time it's pedal powered vans and yes, they really do exist.

The first one (left) is more like a covered wagon than a caravan. Then below there is this two people powered caravan. From the logo you can see it's a Dethleffs.

Then (above left) what looks like an upmarket rickshaw but I think the power to weight ratio my be a bit on the low side! And above and to the right another weird oriental offering.

Then above left. Sweet isn't it? And finally (above right) this pedal powered gypsy caravan.

Look out for another crop of strange vans and motor homes in the next issue.

An Englishman is sitting at a cafe minding his own business eating breakfast. A Frenchman sits down next to him and says "What are you eating there? English bread? In France we eat only the soft centres out of our fresh bread and send the crusts to England." The Englishman ignores him. "What have you got on that bread? Jam? In France we eat jam made from only the freshest fruit and put the seeds and pits into containers and send them to England to make your jam." "Well let me ask you one question" said the Englishman. "Do you have sex over there in France?" "Oh Oui, Oui, you know we do." "What do you do with the used condoms?" "Oh we flush them down the toilet of course." "Well here in England we put them into containers and sell them to France as bubble gum."

The Thirteenth Parish

Ask most members of the Jersey Camping and Caravanning Club where Jersey's thirteenth parish is and they will almost certainly say Camping International de la Hallerais in Rue de la Robardais at Taden near Dinan. And it's (almost) true: there are many Jersey people there. To be fair there are also quite a number from Guernsey too and, together, residents from the Islands make up the majority of people with mobile homes at La Hallerais.

What you may not know however, is that on the other side of Rue de la Robardais is a chateau with its own deer park.

There is a boules pitch across the road from the camp site which is next to one of the boundary fences to the grounds of the chateau. Just over the fence I spotted this beautiful deer laying on the ground and completely at ease. It knew I could see it but made no effort to move.

This is in complete contrast to a fawn I spotted in the middle of Rue de la Robardais a couple of years back. It was mid evening and we were returning home after a meal in Dinan. On this occasion the poor animal took one look at us and scuttled off at speed finally disappearing through a gap in the fence surrounding the chateau. I now know, he was just going home too!

The Power outage (from Anne Perchard)

We had a power outage at our house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my husband for a few hours.

Sunset Kampers

Never heard of them? Well you may do over the next few weeks and months. Darren O'Brian is a panel beater by trade but is also fully qualified in vehicle gas and electrics and has recently started converting ordinary panel vans in to camper vans. Working in Jersey, he takes any model of van like a Renault Traffic or similar, which can be new or used, and custom converts it. Unusually, it doesn't all have to be done at once, and, this enables the conversion to be done over a period of time, as funds become available. However, as Darren explained, it is important to do things in a certain order to minimise costs.

Darren starts by what he calls 'carpet lining' the van. This gives a basis on to which everything else can be built. It is also at this stage that any extra internal lights are fitted so that wiring can be hidden. The images above show the before and after. Note too that the bulkhead between the driving compartment and the rear of the van has also been removed.

Next, extra windows are fitted (where required at the rear or in the side) to give light in to the rear of the converted van, together with blackout curtains, to give privacy at night. The final stage is to fit the rear bench seat / bed and to add things like a sink / cooker unit, gas locker and cupboards. Darren uses high quality components throughout to ensure the comfort of the user. For example he uses RIB bench seats. These seats have the normal contoured squab but fold out to make the bed in such a way that the bed is completely flat with contoured seat parts on the underside. The bed side foam is also different to that on the seat side to provide optimum comfort in each mode.

So what does it all cost? And how long does it take? Well, a lot depends on the amount and quality of fittings used, so it is important to fully discuss this before you commit yourself but, as an average, around £10,000 will see you with a very nice camper. The cost of the van is, of course, not included in this price but if required, Darren can source a new or used van on your behalf. As for time scales, it takes around six to eight weeks to get the RIB seats but the actual build time for a complete camper, is around a month. At the end of the process, Darren will get your new camper van re-registered with Driver and Vehicle Standards, to denote the change of use.

The picture on the left shows a recent conversion using a Renault Traffic van. The internal fittings include a fridge, a single burner cooker and a sink. A cupboard in the rear, in this case with a tambour door, provides storage space for bedding during the day. A small fresh water and separate

August Walk (information from Glenda Killip, pictures from Andrew Averty)

The August walk was a great success with twenty six people attending and after the walk, a super supper, at only £9.50 a head, was enjoyed by all at the Goose on the Green.

It was nice too, that Maureen and Enid, friends of club members, also joined us and were made very welcome.

Thanks to Carol and Alvaro for leading the two walks around the Sandybrook area and perquage pathway.

The walks were made all the more interesting by our own local historian George de La Haye, who gave us some fascinating insights in to the history of the areas of the walks.

Now, Brian, don't get too carried away by the fact that you have a road named after you. You are not the only one.

Don Ecobichon has got Don Street and Don Road. Then there are several Davids and two

The Staffordshire Cow

The only cow in a small Cheshire village stopped giving milk. The villagers did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the county line in Staffordshire for £200.

They bought the cow from Staffordshire. It was wonderful and produced lots of milk all of the time and the villagers were very happy.

They decided that if they acquired a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it, they would never have to worry about their milk supply again. So they bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow and waited for nature to take its course.

However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, she would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.

They told him "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When approached from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Staffordshire?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow."You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Staffordshire?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Staffordshire."

Petites Annonces

Help Wanted

Glen Mathew has a slight problem that perhaps one of the club members can assist in resolving. Due to ill health, he has had to give up camping and has sold his caravan. At the moment the caravan is in storage at Camping Court Vallee at Airvault and the new owner intends to base it there too. Whilst sorting out the bits and pieces belonging to the caravan he found a new Bradcot annexe awning and, as he is not due to visit France for a while, wondered if any member who might be visiting the site would drop it off there. The awning consists of 2 small aluminium poles, is about 6 foot long and weighs about 5 kilos. It is currently taped up and is about 9 inches in diameter. If someone could assist Glen he would appreciate it. Glen can be contacted on +44 (0) 1534 854018 or Mobile +44 (0)7797 725046.

At the end of September, the Branchage Festival returns to Jersey with much of the focus of the festival in St Aubin. As a consequence, BBC Radio Jersey plans to be broadcasting "BBC Radio Branchage" from outside the parish hall in St Aubin from Monday September 22 to Sunday September 28. To embrace the spirit of Branchage, the BBC wishes to base this 'pop-up radio station' in a caravan or iconic vintage vehicle - possibly a spacious VW Camper or American Airstream unit. To this end the BBC has asked us if any of our members could offer them use of such a vehicle? There would be a fee payable for its use and publicity. So if you have something suitable or know of someone who has please contact Jon Gripton Editor, BBC Radio Jersey & BBC Channel Islands TV. Tel: +44 (0) 7797 737999 or e-mail jon.gripton@bbc.co.uk

Storage Needed

Liz Lee needs some storage in Jersey for her new 7 metre caravan from November 2014 till May 2015. Preferably under cover but outside would do if necessary. If you have some space, or knows someone who has, please contact Liz on [email protected] or by mobile telephone on +44 (0) 7829 889015

For Sale

2010 ADRIA CORAL 690 SP

Length 7.4mts. Weight 3.5 tons. 13,000 miles. Island bed. Excellent condition. Extras include:- Kenwood Nav System, Reversing camera, awning, Solar panel, 2 leisure batteries, oven/ grill, Remis blinds in cab, alarm system, satdome and tv. Just been serviced and ready to go. Currently in Guernsey.

£31,500 o.n.o

Tel +44 (0) 1481 264961 Mobile +44 (0) 7781 451436