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At a time when hardly a soul believed that Orthodoxy had a future in America or that a great yeshivah could rise in the New World, Reb Shraga Feivet was a dreamer, a builder; a teacher, a leader, the man who single-handedly created the unique blend of intense Torah study, broad knowledge of hashkafah and chassidus, and dedication to Kfal y;srael that characterized his students in Torah Vodaath and revolutionized American Jewish life. To understand_ today's Torah community and to thrill at the achievement of impossible dreams, this superb book is must reading. by Yonoson Rosenblum ~iii['\ , .· Announcing TWO NEW CASSETTE OFFERINGS in the :FATHWAYS OFTI-IE PROPHETS SERIES by RABBI YISROEL REISMAN alle of the most popular and effective teachers of our time! 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" -t_- ~ '5302NewUtrech,Ave~ue · - ·'llnigkl(i.1'!1'(11219; i •.. · i>H~~efil8~lt36i480I . · · ,t;}'!"" .-;,,;',--·. ---~t\f/ ---, _.'·_· --, --~;i~:;;:> ,,,:-: ..,,:< .·... ',Jt:j~tr'~~'i~-~~~!''' i~1!~:\~~lli1~~~~~~-~'ft'G~~r:f~~~~IJKf.~~{~l'1itF:!'.~1 design until he or she marries. In fact, Rabbi Chaim Friedlander?"::n. In addi- tiply?" (Shabbos 3la) The Maharsha (ad before Hashem created Chava, he tion, others with years of experience in loc.) explains this to mean: "Were you described Adam's status as "Lo tov- it is the field were also invited to contribute involved in matching up couples? Were not good for man to be alone" (Bereishis to this issue. you sympathetic to single people, help- 2,18). This sense of incompletion flows fut in setting up shidduchim for them, from a source deeper than unmet emo- supporting them in making their cru- tional or biological needs. It reflects a spir- w e are told that a Bas Kol cial decis ions?" itual vacuum, something essential that is (Heavenly Voice} proclaims In preparing this special issue, we lacking in one's neshama - a longing that who wi ll marry whom forty endeavored to consult seasoned and suc- finds expression on many levels. Only days before a child is formed in the ' cessful practitioners who have been through marrying did Adam and Chava womb. Destiny is proclaimed, but involved in what we call The Shidduch attain the status of'good." And the same unfortunately the road to finding that Process, to shed light on the needs of our prevails for all their progeny. preordained mate is often long and singles, and how best to meet them. This crucial subject must be viewed rocky. In addition to wise guidance from Many areas are discussed in this issue. from a Torah per- Indeed, more than spective, for how else those included in can one build a Bayis these pages were also Ne' eman Be Yisroel - a effectively addressed, Jewish home that is but space limitations true to its sacred call- forced us to post- ing, one that reflects pone publication of its holy sources, and some articles of truly will bear fruit in a compelling signifi- way that brings pride ':; , ,_ cance. These include and hope to our peo- !--: ,,,·\ · ·>i .:_ "' ·- '·-~ . '-'·' ,,,:: , · ·, ', -~:-\ ', > " ;," the challenges and pie? grQ\V~~ ' aspJri~g for ,· sap.ct~ty ': _:,.: ' :",:> rewards of families In the past, one , '<<· ·:and n~~.;:J r~'aJizing 't~lfillment ~·, ," ,: '. ~ (??'.t/:! blessed with a wealth studied sacred texts '.'-· \:, .. ·.·.<·. · :, ;: .·. ·.. · :,_\ , > ·· · ~::. ::" . .• . .:/' ,> of children;the trials and absorbed relevant · :, > " <· and triumphs of guidance and values INTRODUCTION '· •··. >. • baalei teshuva in set- from th e very air ting up a home that breathed in the classic resonates with th e Jewish home. Today, eternal values of our however, we are beset with a growing Torah mentors - for both men and ancient people; marriages of people number of singles who are searching women - halacha directives for how to from extremely different backgrounds; unsuccessfully for their predestined search for information about shidduch the infertile marriage; the fully recovered zivug. In addition, the number of homes prospects, and how to provide it to those survivors of a traumatic illness, and his beset with shalom bayis problems (lack who require it, must be scrupulously or her expectations - and rights - to find of harmony) is also rising. How can we honored. Irrelevant, subjective, distort happiness as a marriage partner .... reduce these problems, and enhance the ed, or gratuitously harmful data must These and others will i1"' N appear in shalom of our homes? be avoided at all costs. And at the same future issues of The Jewish Observer. Thus this issue of The Jewish Observ time, some facts must be shared. Guide- er, dedicated to promoting Shidduchim lines are offered in several of the arti- M ay the thoughts expressed in and improving Shalom Bayis, based on des in these pages. this issue be an impetus for all guidance from Torah personalities who And the principals need encourage- who read them to engage in a draw their insights from the words of ment, compassion and counsel. .. from positive response to our calling to be Chazal, and the observed actions and parents, peers, mentors, and on occasion oseik be'frya u'reviya, bringing all our attitudes expressed by their Rebbe'im - ' professionals ... guided, to be sure, in people's children to fulfillment in build- ~heir mentors, whose every gesture and qmcept and practice by Torah values. 1 ing a Bayis Ne'eman BeYisroel.