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Who's on First in the Age of Computers

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Who's on First in the Age of Computers Who’s on First in the Age of Computers If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this: (Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott) Abbott: Recommend something. Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? Costello: You recommended something? Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and Abbott: Yes. I’m thinking about buying a computer. Costello: For my office? Abbott: Mac? Abbott: Yes. Costello: No, the name’s Lou. Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office? Abbott: Your computer? Abbott: Office. Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one. Costello: Yes, for my office! Abbott: Mac? Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows. Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou. Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s Abbott: What about Windows? just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? What do I need? Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows? Abbott: Word. Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows? Costello: What word? Abbott: Wallpaper. Abbott: Word in Office. Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer Costello: The only word in office is office. and software. Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows. Abbott: Software for Windows? Costello: Which word in office for windows? Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”. business. What do you have? Costello: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t Abbott: Office. start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? Abbott: Yes, you want Real One. Abbott: I just did. Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! Costello: You just did what? Abbott: Real One. Costello: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? Costello: If it’s a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them? You have anything I can track my money with? Abbott: Of course. Abbott: Money. Costello: Great! With what? Costello: That’s right. What do you have? Abbott: Real One. Abbott: Money. Costello: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a Costello: I need money to track my money? movie. What do I do? Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer. Abbott: You click the blue “1”. Costello: What’s bundled with my computer? Costello: I click the blue one what? Abbott: Money. Abbott: The blue “1”. Costello: Money comes with my computer? Costello: Is that different from the blue w? Abbott: Yes. No extra charge. Abbott: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word. Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? Costello: What word? Abbott: One copy. Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows. Costello: Isn’t it illegal to copy money? Costello: But there are three words in “office for windows”! Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. Abbott: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in Costello: They can give you a license to copy money? the world. Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT! Costello: It is? (A few days later) Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? Words out there. Costello: How do I turn my computer off? Costello: And that word is real one? Abbott: Click on “START”....... Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office. __________________ Abbott and Costello, American comedy duo of William Abbott (1895–1974) and Louis Cristillo (1906–1959), who adopted the stage name Costello. Having formed a successful vaudevillian stage act during the 1930s, Abbott and Costello went on to make a number of films together between 1940 and 1956 that showcased their routines. With Costello as the comedian and Abbott in the role of straight man, the couple proved to be a major box-office attraction. Their films include Buck Privates (1941), Ride 'Em Cowboy (1942), Lost in a Harem (1944), Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948), and Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955). Microsoft ® Encarta ® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. .
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