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Attitudes Toward Mixed Marriages in Bahrain

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Attitudes Toward Mixed Marriages in Bahrain File File Right to Citizenship “outsider”. There was a general kind of mistrust toward impose an identity on me that was not my own, simply my mother, my siblings, and me. Once, my parents want- because of my physical appearance and my name. It is ed to choose a new school for my sister and me and also important to mention the fact that I came to when we went to look at the new school, many kids Lebanon after having lived in Germany and Italy for sev- started insulting us, calling us Jews and apostates, and eral years. I had come to think of myself as a European, saying we would burn in hell. and I had lost a lot of my Arabic. At the time, being called an Arab irritated me, since I felt it cut the truth short and Interestingly, my sister, who has darker skin than I do, and left a major part of my life out of consideration. It also whose Arabic is more fluent than mine, found it easier to seemed to me a rather patriarchal viewpoint, leaving my Attitudes Toward Mixed be accepted as an Arab. Here I would like to clarify what mother out of consideration, even though she was the I mean by more “fluent”. In fact, parent that brought me up. I am we both have the same accent, sure that in many cases, people which our friends often teased and didn’t have bad intentions. called “heavy”. The difference Marriages in Bahrain: between us was that my sister mas- However, the anger I felt was tered many of the expressions com- At the time, being increasing. Since I felt my Arabic mon to the Arabic language. There was bad, I often talked to people in are expressions in the Arabic lan- called an Arab English. Some would simply answer guage for several occasions, as in Arabic. Once, when I asked a The Eroticization of Class when somebody has showered, irritated me, since man something in English, another when someone gets a new haircut, man who was standing next to him or when one returns safely from a I felt it cut the said, “Talk to her in Arabic. She’s an trip and many other occasions. I Arab.” One day, I went to an reckon this is an important aspect truth short and Internet café with my boyfriend, of the Arabic language I have failed who is German and looks German, to master. On one occasion, I met left a major part as people say. We sat there, surfing Sharon Nagy the sister of a friend and I asked her of my life out on the Internet, when the shop- Assistant Professor of Anthropology, DePaul University, Chicago how her sister was doing. She said keeper came and asked us where her sister was sick, and instead of of consideration. we are from. We both said using the proper expression “May Germany, but he didn’t seem to she get healthy”, I said “Thank God like my answer. He told me that I Abstract changed, significant numbers of East and South East Asian for her health”, which was certain- look Lebanese. I just ignored what Drawn from two years of ethnographic research amongst workers have migrated to the Gulf, particularly to work in ly unsuitable. Another thing my he said. He left, and I thought the foreign residents in Bahrain this paper discusses marriages the fields of hospitality, retail, leisure and health services. friends often found amusing was that I never learned issue was settled. After a few minutes, he came over between Bahraini men and non-Arab women.1 The first With the addition of South East Asia as a source of labor, how to belly dance and that all my attempts to imitate again, emphasizing the fact that I certainly don’t look half of the paper outlines the entry of non-Arab women the number of unaccompanied women migrating to work their elegant dance failed. They used to wrap a shawl German. Since I felt he was intruding into my private into the migrant workforce in Bahrain and the obstacles to in the Gulf has increased. Unlike the South Asian countries around my waist and make me dance in the middle of sphere, I didn’t give him the answer he would have liked marriage between these women and Bahraini men. The from which male laborers emigrate more often then the classroom, while everybody else was clapping and to hear. He went back to his desk, and a few minutes second half of the paper discusses the cultural attitudes women, women represent a large proportion of emigrants laughing. later, he took out a Koran and started reading some vers- toward mixed marriages and compares Bahraini-European from the Philippines, Thailand and Indonesia. es aloud. We were alone in the Internet café, and we felt marriages to Bahraini-Filipina marriages in order to explore Nevertheless, these memories certainly do belong to the extremely uncomfortable. the intersections of race and class in shaping attitudes Despite this transnationalized population, inter-marriage positive sides of my experience in Nablus, even though it towards mixed marriages. Bahraini-Filipina marriages meet between Gulf Arab men and non-Arab women has often was painful for a child of my age to feel like an out- However, this is just one part of my experience in with greater criticism and resistance from the extended remained relatively low.2 The endogamous traditions of sider. Surprisingly, when it came to my behavior, many Lebanon. I guess that living in Beirut has also helped me family of the groom and the participants are subject to Gulf societies remain strong. The preference is to marry expected me to behave according to the norms and rules solve the dilemma of my identity. I learned to be open greater stigmatization than are Bahraini-European mar- someone from within a related lineage, similar social cate- that were common at that time in Nablus. I remember about my origin and to talk about the way I view things. riages. This paper illustrates how the current economic and gory, and religious sect, or at least an Arab. Some Gulf getting angry looks and receiving hostile remarks for the I met several people who seemed to be just as fragmen- social hierarchies shaping migration to the Arab Gulf influ- States, such as Qatar, formally discourage marriages to way I walked, dressed or laughed. It was not common to tary as I was and who were interested in talking about ence attitudes of race, class and sexual attractiveness. non-Arabs by requiring the prospective groom to apply for hear women laugh aloud in public. I guess my passion for their experiences abroad and in Lebanon. This experience “permission” and banning him from employment in the the hippie style at that time also must have shocked peo- has helped me to combine all aspects of my identity and Migrants and Marriage in Bahrain civil service or security forces. Bahrain does not apply any ple. not to refuse the Arab elements of it, since without it, I Societies in the Arab Gulf are examples of extensive such legal obstacles against marrying non-Bahrainis. In would probably not be the same person. My time in transnational labor migration with foreign residents some- fact, unlike women in Bahrain who are the accompanying In Beirut, this has seemed to be even more so, even Lebanon will soon come to an end, but I am glad I have times outnumbering citizens. Most foreign residents come spouse of an employed non-Bahraini, who hold “house- though there has not been one standard way of perceiv- realized there were many people who have accepted me from South Asia, Iran, and other Arab countries. Yet, as wife visas” and are prohibited from legally working in fields ing me. Often I have felt that people were trying to for who I am. circumstances in the local and global labor markets have other than teaching or nursing, women married to 78 Volume XX, No. 101-102 Spring/Summer 2003 Volume XX, No. 101-102 Spring/Summer 2003 79 File File Right to Citizenship Bahrainis are allowed to work in any field. In addition, the and personal hygiene. In general, Bahraini men and freedom to move about and socialize in mixed gender set- female spouse of a Bahraini can apply for Bahraini citizen- As Bahrain’s economy diversified in the 1980s, employers women perceive South East Asian and European women tings. Viewed from the perspective of Arab-Islamic norms, ship. A wife’s application for Bahraini citizenship takes a began to turn to South East Asia, particularly the to be more consistently pleasing and attractive than they these unaccompanied European women raised some con- minimum of five years. In the meantime, she must main- Philippines, as a source of unskilled and semi-skilled labor. do South Asian or African women. Many of the cultural sternation and many eyebrows. What sort of families tain her residency visa, an often time-consuming and cost- The entry of Filipinas into Bahrain’s labor force brought a and physical features deemed typical of South East Asian would “allow” their daughters to migrate unaccompanied ly process. These visa regulations, however, are not really shift in the gender balance of the foreign population. The and European women prove to be advantages in the labor and unsupervised? What kind of background encouraged obstacles to mixed marriage. In fact, it’s unlikely that many South Asian laboring population in Bahrain has always market, and the continued placement of such women in them to work and socialize amongst men not related to men and women learn about these legal requirements been overwhelmingly male.
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