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Veritas Super Omnia

Vol. CXXXI, No. 11 May 2, 2008 Phillips Academy Trustees To Finalize Budget At Meetings This Weekend By JULIET LIU The Phillips Academy Board as the cost of goods, services, of Trustees will assemble this energy and facilities, have now weekend for discussions chiefly been factored into the frame involving the finalization of next of the budget since the winter. year’s budget and the details of The Trustees will vote on the the ongoing capital campaign. all-inclusive budget by the end Oscar Tang ’56, President of of the weekend. the Board of Trustees, said that The Board will also discuss the Board plans to spend the the feasability of fundraising for majority of its time determin- the capital campaign currently ing the priorities of the capital in progress. campaign. Amy Falls ’82, Chief Invest- Other topics scheduled for ment Officer, will present an up- discussion include the results date on the current condition of of the recent admission cycle, the endowment. Based on these the integration of the Peabody numbers and the fundraising Museum of Archaeology into of the campaign, the Trustees Phillips Academy curricula and will decide what percent of the the direction of the school’s $800 million endowment Phil- outreach programs, according lips Academy should withdraw to Nancy Jeton, Special Assis- for budget spending. tant to the Head of School. According to Jeton, the At this annual spring meet- Board of Trustees will hold ing, Andover’s Finance Com- a working session about An- mittee will present the Board dover’s institutional priorities M. Discenza/ THe Phillipian of Trustees with the full details with members of the senior ad- On Wednesday, all students filled out the Youth Health and Risk Behavior Survey, a national survey compiled by Dartmouth of the proposed budget for the ministration, including Barbara College and modified for Phillips Academy. The school conducted a similar survey about five years ago. next fiscal year, which begins Chase, Head of School, Stephen on July 1. Carter, Chief Financial Officer, In January, when the Trust- and Temba Maqubela, Dean of PA COLLEGE Fan ’09 Wins Medal for Chinese Brush Painting ees last convened, the Board Faculty. medal was of a monkey, Fan’s fa- “She encouraged me to par- discussed the major constitu- During this working session, FAIR hosts 150 By JANE THOMAS vorite Chinese painting subject. ticipate,” Fan said. “I know that ents of the budget — financial the Trustees and administration Fan recently invented a new [the Foundation for Chinese Per- aid, faculty and staff compensa- will determine how the school universities Jennifer Fan ’09 won the gold method of drawing monkeys forming Arts] has a lot of activi- tion and tuition. will allocate funds garnered and silver medal for the Annual from a head-on perspective. ties and performances, but I have In the winter, the Trustees from the capital campaign “in Students From All-American Chinese Brush An international student never been a part of it before.” voted to increase tuition for the terms of sorting through priori- Neighboring High Schools Painting and Calligraphy Com- from Hong Kong, Fan said, “I’m When Fan saw the results 2008-2009 academic school ties,” said Tang. petition, awarded by the Foun- really excited for my talent to online on March 21, she imme- year by five percent. This deci- Also Attend The Trustees will discuss dation for Chinese Performing get recognized, and I hope it will diately called her mother, who sion raised boarding students’ “the resources that we will need Arts. inspire more people to want to lives in Hong Kong. tuition to $39,100 and day stu- to support the capital campaign By TRISHA MACRAE The competition received learn more about Chinese art.” Fan said, “It was 2 a.m. in the dents’ tuition to $30,500. and to support those priorities,” For Uppers, the advent of over 360 entries from eight Fan submitted her work to morning in Hong Kong, but she In addition to raising the Tang continued. spring represents the begin- states. the competition after receiv- was really excited as well. I told tuition, the Trustees increased “It’s always a balancing act ning of an exhausting year of According to Fan, the win- ing encouragement from her Mrs. Torabi and some of the oth- the budgets for faculty and between competing priorities, schmoozing admissions of- ning painting depicted a crane in mother’s friend, who saw an ad- er teachers and I was really ex- staff compensation. The faculty competing needs. That will be a ficers and filling out college front of a background of leaves. vertisement in The China Press cited and happy the whole day.” and staff salary budgets were big discussion item,” said Tang. applications. The painting that took the silver newspaper. Fan is the president and increased to $18.7 million and The campaign is still in its This past Monday evening, $13.6 million, respectively. students and parents perused Continued on A7, Column 1 Smaller components, such Continued on A7, Column 3 the offerings at the annual Phillips Academy Spring Col- lege Fair in the Case Memo- Former Poet Laureate Pinsky Speaks Before rial Cage. Over 150 colleges, rang- Packed Auditorium; Teaches Master Class ing from the University of Aberdeen in Scotland to the By TAVIE ABELL that he writes in meter to prove age place or object. University of Wisconsin in that he can. “We came from somewhere; Madison, were present at Poetry is an oral phenome- “Every poem that’s any good everything came from some- the event. Representatives non, according to Robert Pinsky, rhymes; it might not have end where,” he said. from each college staffed the former US Poet Laureate. rhymes,” Pinsky said. “Here, lis- Although he admitted that their schools’ tables, passing “The poem is something that ten,” he said, unnecessarily, as few people remember these out promotional pamphlets, happens every time someone all ears and eyes were already seemingly mundane stories, he T. Ferguson/ THe Phillipian says it,” he said, in front of a fixed on him, and then demon- encouraged audience members Continued on A6, Column 3 Fan plans to raise $1000 for a health clinic in rural China. filled-to-capacity Kemper Au- strated rhyme motifs in a few to become vessels for the stories ditorium on Friday. poems. of their ancestors. “When I read a poem aloud “Are the sounds not effec- Pinsky’s visit was made pos- 300 Participate in Annual Day of Silence by another poet, my body be- tive?” he challenged. sible by the Sandra Isham Vree- comes his medium, my voice, Before reading his famous land Memorial Fund, which Protesting Hate Against LGBT Students his instrument,” added Pinsky, poem, titled “At Pleasure Bay,” sponsors a visiting poet each who served an unprecedented Pinsky cited his hometown of spring for a poetry reading and on this day in order to recog- ing the day for the wrong rea- three years as Poet Laureate Long Branch, New Jersey as a master class. By MELISSA YAN nize the LGBT teens across sons. Some people used the day from 1997 to 2000. He now a source for his interest in his- Jonathan Stableford, Chair the nation who are forced to be to get out of class early or just teaches at Boston University’s tory. The poet said that he often of the English Department, and The campus seemed quieter silent. They shouldn’t need to not participate in class, which I Graduate School of Writing. traces history through both the Kevin O’Connor, Instructor in than usual last Friday. stay silent.” think undermines the day.” Pinsky, who has been fea- human beauty and the suffering Students protested discrimi- Joel Camacho ’08 said, “This Chen continued, “It’s good tured on The Colbert Report and that are wrapped up in an aver- Continued on A8, Column 1 nation against lesbians, gays, bi- year, I didn’t speak from the for people to at least try to stay The Simpsons, read his work at sexuals and transgenders by re- end of first period until 6 p.m. I silent, but I think mouthing de- the lecture with thought-pro- maining silent during the 12th didn’t find it very hard, since I feats the purpose. I guess you voking, humorous commentary, annual National Day of Silence. really wanted to show my sup- expect that some misuse of the and interacted with the audi- Nearly 300 Andover stu- port for the gay community. It day will happen, but it really ence in a casual and encourag- dents signed up in Commons to depends on how important the made me lose respect for some ing manner. He also taught an take the vow of silence. Though issue is to you. All in all, staying people.” English master class during not everyone who signed up quiet is a small price to pay to Brenna Liponis ’10 felt dif- sixth and seventh period. eventually participated, Frank support the cause.” ferently. “No matter what a per- During the event, Pinsky Tipton, Faculty Advisor for Gay, Though enthusiastic, some son’s motives are, staying silent asked the audience to get in- Lesbian and Bisexual Issues and students were disappointed by still raises awareness for the volved and ask him questions. Instructor in History said he some participants’ motivations. cause.” “Applauding is nice, but it felt the Day of Silence achieved Vivian Chen ’10 said, “I be- The Day of Silence was doesn’t get you off the hook. I its goal of raising awareness. lieve the Day of Silence is a founded in 1996 by students like to make you work,” he said. Nette Oot ’09, President of good way to raise awareness, at the University of Virginia. When a member of the audi- GSA and Arts Editor of The but after awhile I didn’t want to ence asked him if he only writes S. Sheu/ THe Phillipian Phillipian, said, “We are silent do it, because people were us- Continued on A6, Column 2 in free verse, the poet replied Pinsky read poems and took audience questions on Friday.

Inside News/ A6-A8 Features/ B5-B8 Sports/ B1-B3 www.phillipian.net The Phillipian It’s a bird... It’s a plane... It’s a Girls Tennis tops Exeter by a Email [email protected] New PACE program Features four-page insert on final score of 11-4. for subscription and advertis- Some Lowers next year can look Superheroes! ing requests Commentary/ A2-A3 forward to longer discussions and Also... TAKE THE Senior mentors. Sebastian Becker ’10 debunks FEATURES SURVEY (A4-5) election campaign rumors. Please Recycle Native American Representation This Phillipian In an effort to increase the Native Arts/ B4, B9-B10 American population at PA, rep- Patrick Brady previews the Dra- Editorial/ A2 resentatives from various Native ma Lab production “Too Much Due to AP exams, American Communities will visit Light Makes the Baby Go Blind,” The Phillipian will We need to stop filling in survey campus next week. directed by Lily Shaffer ’10. not publish next week. bubbles and start talking. M. Discenza/The Phillipian A2 Commentary The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Letters Volume Corrections CXXXI The Case for Arts Coverage In last week’s article about Jungal NUMBER 11 Book, it was reported that Andover’s To the Editor: 2000 production of Things Fall Apart Cora D. Lewis Theatre 520, received the Moss Hart was canceled after one show. The show Editor in Chief Last week The Phillipian report- award for all categories. Last winter was in fact never perfomed. ed on the supposed censorship of we were one of the first high schools In an article last week about our current main stage show, Jungal in the country to obtain the rights Jack Dickey Zoe A.Y. Weinberg Annalee E. Leggett Commons renovations, bracketed text News Director Executive Editor Managing Editor Book. While this event created stress to The 24 Hour Plays. A few weeks in a quote from Director of Facilities and confusion for most of those in- ago we organized the first ever Eight Michael Williams said that floors volved with the show, one potential Schools Theatre Festival. All of these Business Manager in Commons were built too thinly News Director of good thing came out of it. A play was events took immense amounts of Berol Dewdney under vaulted arches. The floors were Christine Choi Production on the front page of the paper, a first work to plan and execute. I would actually built too thinly under kitchen Alicia Keyes Michael Discenza Advertising Director in my Andover career. think that The Phillipian would want serveries. Britt Peltz It’s a shame that it takes a “scan- to cover major achievements made Commentary Director of Last week’s article about new Photography dal” to put Arts on the front page. by students. Harrison Hart The Phillipian Online courses for the 2008-2009 academic Sarah Sheu This is a trend that we see all over the I am in no way implying that only year inadvertently omitted Fluid Carl Jackson media. Scandals sell papers, so it’s no happy news should be published, or Mechanics (Physics 630) as an advanced Features Director of Head of Circulation wonder editors choose to move such that the Theatre Department should science course. Also, next year Phillips Lawrence Dai Writing & Copy and Publicity stories to the front page. However, be on the front page every week, but Academy will bring a visiting scientist Erica Segall Emerson Stoldt this gives the impression that the en- I believe efforts should be made to in astronomy, Rick Feinberg, who will In-Depth tertainment industry consists solely cover all aspects of the school in a teach Abbot Independent Scholar Emma Goldstein Cartooning Director Publicity of seedy deals and broken contracts. more even way. Projects in astronomy. Danica Mitchell Eddie Zhang This may or may not be true in the In a Sports article last week about Sports professional world, but it is certainly Molly Shoemaker ’08 Track, the name of Trevor Gulick-Stutz Matt Gorski Senior Associates Circulation Commentary: Anabel Bacon not true of our theatre department The writer is a student producer ’09 was misspelled. Mai Kristofferson Arun Saigal at PA. As an avid participant I know and is currently working on the Jungal Jim Ricker Sports: Abby Levene Jacob Shack The Phillipian regrets the errors. Arts: Scott Dzialo that there are a lot of exciting, good Book production. Patricia Yen Features: Eli Grober things that we do. Violet, last Spring’s Arts In-Depth: Delivery Charlie Dong Sudhandra Sundaram Nette Oot Joey Atiba Lydia Dallett señora Brian Russell You Wanted Our Opinion? Diagnosis Senioritis Our tolerance for surveys has reached a tipping point. omebody call 911 — I’m experi- begin, so finishing the current chapter spray paint cans are enclosed. Surveys may be an easy way to gather information and feedback from encing a severe case of cognitive becomes just a formality or “holding “Even though high school seniors students, but if overused, they can undermine their own cause. The school Simpairment that could lead to a pattern.” Attention Andover Airways: tend to be the bulk of the victims, should limit the number of surveys they ask students to fill out and instead rapid descent into malignant truancy. these sky high seniors are not coming high school juniors and sophomores seek more effective methods of getting feedback. I fear I may already be experiencing down for a while. are also known to have it.” Now that the advanced stages of this disease, “Senioritis usually results in a explains a lot… In the past week alone, the administration has asked students to com- exhibited by reduced motivation to withdrawal from school-related ex- “In conclusion, Senioritis is a natu- plete a total of three surveys, one of which was required. This past Wednes- perform habitual acts such as turning tracurricular activities and school ral phenomenon that occurs during day, nearly every student in the school completed a 114-question survey on a calculator, checking e-mail and spirit events and a reduced concern periods of symbolic academic transi- concerning “youth risk behavior,” just days after requests for feedback on putting on shoes. for social acceptance [read: dancing tion. It is an inevitable phase in life Wellness Week and the advising system. Many students could hardly take If left unaddressed much longer, on tables in Uncommons is OK], in- that is to be whole heartedly enjoyed the survey seriously, and we don’t blame them. Between these surveys and this condition could lead to increased stead focusing on graduation in June by its participants and grudgingly en- all of the surveys that The Phillipian puts out, SurveyMonkey.com has be- feelings of entitlement or privilege, and/or acceptance to college in Sep- dured by the rest of the school com- come more of a nuisance than an institutional tool. mental slowness and desires to throw tember.” Wait, Seniors got accepted munity.” Some surveys, like the one we took on Wednesday, are important for water balloons at unsuspecting fresh- to college this year? Hey ’08, guess There you have it, ’08. Our afflic- assessing student life at PA. Others, however, that seek feedback to improve men. Mothers, protect your children: what… tion has finally been identified and various school programs, would be better in the form of a discussion, rath- contact with rabidly apathetic seniors “It can also manifest as increased there is nothing we can do about it. er than HTML. Few students actually give comments, and bubbles don’t can have debilitating effects on even social and extra-curricular activity You are free to float in an unfocused speak. The school would likely receive more constructive feedback by call- middle and elementary school stu- [golfing on the Great Lawn] at the ex- haze of lazy superiority while your ing kids in at random and asking for their opinions, instead of asking the dents. whole student body to fill out a blanket survey about a given subject. Across the country, concerned The PA student is far more complex than a string of A’s or E’s, no matter teachers and administrators have how comprehensive the survey. Our survey capacity is at its limit; the more been reporting an increase in the vast Surveymonkey links we receive, the less likely we are to participate to begin numbers of high school seniors hit by with. No doubt some students also become less inclined to be honest and this unknown illness. The situation thorough in responses. If the school really wants to improve its programs, it has become so alarming that President should talk to us whenever possible, instead of having us fill in circles. Bush recently elevated the Homeland Security Threat to Orangutan Orange, after carefully consulting Malin Ad- Let’s Talk About... ams’ extensive Crayola Crayon collec- Everyone thinks that everyone else is talking about sex. tion. Even FEMA has pledged to dis- A Phillips Academy student will hear about sex on several occasions patch squadrons of recruiters to high throughout a career at Andover – the basics in Bio 100 Junior year, a man- risk areas with immediate job offers if datory parietal talk in the dorm, some discussion in PACE classes and a few the epidemic of laziness continues. hours in PE as Lowers. However, the current system of sexual education at What is this alarming malady that PA is fragmented and inconsistent, and should be reevaluated. has struck America’s finest academic There is little communication between those responsible for organizing institutions? Why are high school se- these events, and, as a result, the information we receive can be as hap- niors everywhere tossing their books, hazard as the method by which we receive it. One dorm may discuss birth desks, and roommates out the win- control, while another focusses on feelings. Some PACE classes will cover dow? In a brief moment of cognitive intimacy, while another might emphasize the risk of pregnancy. relapse, I decided to find out by going to the ultimate source of Completely As the school adjusts the PACE program in the coming months, in prep- True Important Stuff: Wikipedia. The aration for next year, so should it evaluate the larger picture of how and results could render even Mr. Efinger what students are learning about sex. Students deserve some measure of speechless. consistency in the depth that these topics are covered. “Senioritis: a colloquial term used Left to the discretion of a wide variety of teachers and advisers, and of- in the United States and Canada to pense of academic duties [3’s are the underclassmen peers sweat and toil ten reliant the students’ willingness to speak up and ask questions, discus- describe the decreased motivation new 6’s], with the student preferring for grades that actually matter. The sions sometimes erode, becoming immature rambling or empty lecturing, toward studies displayed by students to “have fun” rather than work aca- hardest days of Andover are finally and important statements go unsaid. who are nearing the end of their high demically [except at Exeter, where over, so feel free to put aside that If students seek out information, it is available, which is commendable. school careers.” Good god, it’s worse the two are synonymous].” Shakespeare and think instead about However, there is no guarantee that students will take that initiative. than I thought; even Canada has fall- “In some serious cases, when stu- prom, college and speed training for We’re 1090 students with 1090 different backgrounds, none of which en to sluggishness! dents let their grades drop, universi- Senior Spooning. necessarily included any more sex education than a bedtime story about a “By definition, Senioritis is not due ties may rescind offers of admission.” Don’t fret about squandering your stork. We’re pretty smart kids, and most of us do know enough about sex to to the direct physiological effects of Dear [insert your least favorite se- last days at Andover; the memories make good decisions, but that is a generalization that should not be made a general medical condition such as nior’s name here], We regret to inform that matter most are all documented lightly. hypothyroidism or insomnia but is you that your recent decision to spray on Facebook anyway. Relax and enjoy The school may leave this topic to our families and personal discretion, typically said to include: slowness, paint a freshman’s face blue demon- your last days at the top of the pyra- but the reality is that we’re teenagers. According to this year’s State of the procrastination, apathy regarding strates insufficient hazing creativity mid, for we will be vulnerable, igno- Academy Survey, at least 30 percent of us will have had sex by the time we school work, increased drug use, ma- to join our incoming class of 2012. rant freshmen again all too soon. June graduate, so it would be nice if all knew basic information about the trans- lingering or feigning illness in order “Nonetheless, it is widely known 8, 2008 approaches with all due speed, mission of STDS and safe-sex practices, for our own health. to avoid presence in a school setting, that most colleges do not rescind their so immerse yourself now in the bliss- Education about reproductive health is by no means a requirement in and changes in sleep patterns.” Isham, acceptances, and even the most elite ful irresponsibility that is Senioritis. high school, but it is practical at this time in our lives. The school should beware: your drug coffers are about schools only revoke a minuscule num- Bring out the jump ropes and golf not assume that someone else is having this conversation. It may be awk- to be severely depleted by students ber of students.” Dear [insert entire clubs and sunscreen. With our first ward, but we should talk about sex. After all, it’s always better to be safe. claiming everything from malaria to class of 2008 here], Congratulations week of 80-degree weather behind polio to erectile dysfunction. on your acceptance to University of us, Senior Spring has officially, deli- The Phillipian is Phillips Academy’s uncensored, student-run newspaper. “Many high school students find Phoenix Online! We are thrilled that ciously, begun. No adult reviews the paper’s contents prior to publication. themselves in a type of lame duck you will be joining our exceptionally Lydia Dallett is a four-year Senior. The unsigned editorials above represent of the views of The Phillipian Edi- situation: their plans are made and a diverse and creative team. Comple- [email protected] torial Board CXXXI. new chapter in their life is about to mentary bumper sticker, pennant and The Phillipian welcomes all letters to the Editor. We try to print all letters, but because of space limitations, we recommend conciseness. We reserve the right to edit all submitted letters to conform with print restraints and proper syntax. We will not publish any anonymous letters. Please submit letters by Common Thoughts the Monday of each week to [email protected] or to our newsroom in the basement of Morse Hall. To subscribe, email [email protected], or write to The Phillipian, Bhangra on the Great Lawn Youth Risk Survey 180 Main Street, Andover, MA, 01810. Instead of everyone going downtown for lunch Cake and ice cream more or less All contents of The Phillipian copyright © 2008, The Trustees of during sixth and seventh, students experienced made up for forty-five minutes of Phillips Academy, Inc. Reproduction of any material herein without another culture at the Indo-Pak Festival Friday. filling in standardized test bubbles. the express written consent of The Trustees of Phillips Academy, Inc. and the editorial board of The Phillipian is strictly prohibited. The Fonz Comes To Andover Five Potstickers The Phillipian is printed weekly at The Eagle-Tribune. Henry Winkler will be at Andover Town Hall The Eagle-Tribune Publishing Company, its officers, agents and on May 11, promoting his new children’s book. Per Person employees have acted solely as a printer of this publication and have provided Good luck finding tickets; it’s already sold out. Enough said. no editorial comment or manuscript contained herein. The Phillipian assumes full responsibility and liability for the content of all copy submitted, printed and published. The Eagle-Tribune Publishing Company, its officers, agents Grandparents Day Scheduling Prom Tickets-$130 and employees make no representations, guarantees or warranties concern- Having grandparents’ visits overlap with AP Danica Mitchell ’09: “I wouldn’t ing the content of any copy submitted, printed and published. week means choosing between meals out with have agreed to go if I knew how Visit our website at http://www.phillipian.net family and studying in isolation. Tough one. much it cost.” May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Commentary A3 Beyond James Sawabini not quite cxxxi The Latin America’s Next Greatest Failure Celia Lewis Students should be encouraged to non sibi pursue their dreams no matter how hile the opportunities they define success. But I wonder how at Andover may seem many more students would pursue Wendlessly abundant in the academic success if they too could be mix of academics, sports, clubs and assured of its rewards. That is to say, if other extracurricular offerings, our someone invested in their education. community service program should Even in many affluent areas, where not be overlooked. the possibilities of academic success Personally, I had never really un- should be palpable, students can be derstood the concept of community culturally counter-academic and anti- service until coming to Andover. intellectual. The notion of academic My elementary and middle schools success is often met with skepticism lacked any sort of involvement in ser- and scorn. (I know, I went to one.) vice. My family tried to fill this void Sadly, society has justified this antipa- with a few small endeavors through- thy. out my childhood, but I never really We have given just about every in- came to understand the significance dication to high school students that of our actions. the United States is not interested One of my first memories of An- in their success. We don’t fund our dover was at an event for newly ad- schools. Parents dump students in mitted students. An admissions of- high schools but don’t expect them to ficer asked the crowd, “What does learn. It’s as if the schools were only our school motto, non sibi, mean?” built for the sake of day care, though The room remained silent. She tried most look more like prisons. again, “Are there any Latin schol- When students don’t succeed, ars here?” Finally, someone’s father adults point to those few who do: raised his hand. “I believe it means “They are intrinsically motivated! It’s ‘not for oneself,’” he said. Yet we do oston cab drivers are full of Economists believe in extrinsic seem pointless now, someday I will not our fault you’re lazy!” not have to be Latin scholars to un- wisdom. Recently, one lent me motivation; individuals and organiza- need them! (Or they will get me into It is. Intrinsic motivation is not derstand what non sibi truly means. Bsome of his. tions seek a reward by marginal profit college!)” born in a vacuum. It is learned at the After attending a conference for This cabby, now in his mid-60s, and behave formulaically to achieve But to succeed in life, we require dinner table. Or, if a child is particu- service-learning and community had done many things before he start- their goals. But it’s this beautifully both intrinsic and extrinsic moti- larly savvy, it is learned on the streets service at Exeter this past weekend, ed driving. His main career had been prophetic nature of economic theory vation. The failure of communism or on the television or in the newspa- my perspective of the community with an insurance company, though that has often led markets to calamity. proves that people won’t work on pers. But it must be learned. As a soci- service program at Andover was dra- he had also worked at Home Depot, “According to my formula, the market faith alone, yet in order to go the extra ety, we must teach children the value matically altered. Shaws, a local nursery and a driving should have sorted this out by now! mile it is important to believe in what of learning. Prior to the conference, I had school. His favorite role had been as a And these prices should be lower! you are doing. We must also invest in it. We must come to take our community service member of the Lowell Board of Edu- And England shouldn’t produce pock- Successful students have both. provide extrinsic motivation by prov- offerings for granted. The extensive cation. For most students at Andover, aca- ing to students that society is inter- programs really did not mean much He recalled his greatest accom- demic success has always been an ested in their success, and that if they to me; I had always been under the plishment on the board: Convincing So long as schools go intrinsic motivator. Some of our par- work, they can succeed. We must fund impression that most other schools its members that their students could poorly funded...so long ents emphasized the importance of our schools. had similar options. learn. academics, teaching knowledge as a So long as schools go poorly fund- I quickly learned that this was not His audience was experienced and as students are told, core value and key to happiness. Oth- ed, so long as bright students are held the case. Although a few schools did skeptical. They had long given up “we don’t care,” ers had to find this motivation away back and so long as they are told, “we share some comprehensive offerings the idea that the average Lowell stu- from the dinner table, and neverthe- don’t care,” neither shall the students. that were comparable to ours, many dent was worth much. The students neither shall the they. less found it one way or another. We justify the inequity of capital- were in the process of developing that succeeded did so on their own But Andover students also benefit ism by talking about social mobility. their own fledgling programs. Over- intrinsic motivation; those that did et watches! Didn’t anyone read Adam from extrinsic motivators. To us, the Social mobility is a phantom. It is a all, Andover’s offerings stood out not, had none. Therefore the board’s Smith?” Turns out— sometimes the reward of academic success is tangi- ghost. It is a whisper. It is a farce. among all the others in areas such efforts were useless, its members had dog won’t see the carrot, or feel the ble. Whether it is getting into a good We accept that the rich should as community involvement, support thought. But this Lowell father’s ar- stick, or there is something else going college, achieving career aspirations have better schools than the poor. We and sophistication. gument changed their minds. on. or changing the world, our goals are accept that neither affluent public With the tremendous resources As a driving instructor, it had been Socialists, moralists, philosophiz- viable possibilities. Elsewhere, this is schools nor poor public schools are we have at our disposal, it would be his experience that if you took the five ers and/or hippies prefer intrinsic not the case. effective. We accept poor rates of suc- regrettable if students were to dis- best and five worst students at Lowell motivation. We do good things be- At most public schools it is rare for cess. And thus, we accept that social regard our community service offer- High School, they would do equally cause we think they are right. Either a student to be accepted to a “presti- mobility does not exist. ings. Make an effort and ask a friend well in a driver-training course. This, they are right for moral reasons, or gious” university. But then, it may also As long as our public schools don’t about what he or she may do in our he said, was because they were ex- for our own long-term benefit. “For be less likely for a public school stu- work, neither will our country. community. This is, certainly, one op- trinsically motivated: they all wanted the motherland, I work late into the dent to reach for one. As a good editor James Sawabini is a four-year Se- portunity you do not want to miss. the keys to the family car. Therefore night!” Or, “When I’m seventy I’ll pointed out to me, success can have nior and the former Editor in Chief of Celia Lewis is a two-year Lower. success was not necessarily depen- have strong bones from all the milk I many definitions. The problem isn’t The Phillipian. [email protected] dent on intrinsic motivation. drink!” Or, “Although antiderivatives that people aspire to different things. [email protected]

Sebastian Becker ’28 May the Best Candidate Be Elected mear campaigns have been the sentences of Abramoff and Congress- key to many victorious political man Bob Ney, as well as the ultimate Scampaigns, but often at the ex- downfall of many other Republican pense of the public good. These cam- congressmen. McCain did everything paigns are usually extensively funded he could, given his jurisdiction in his and aggressively criticize an opponent committee. personally or misrepresent his or her Dean also took a McCain quote policies. out of context and used it against the Smear campaigns can destroy the Republican nominee, saying, “On the reputation of a good politician. If well war, McCain scoffed at Bush’s call to executed, they can mobilize masses of leave troops for 50 years, saying ‘Make voters to one side of the election. And it a hundred! ” effective or not, smear campaigns are McCain actually said that a pres- creeping into this year’s election. A ence of troops would be acceptable as negative image is being cast on each long no Americans are being killed or candidate, with the a focus on their harmed: “Make it a hundred. … We’ve questionable scandals rather than been in Japan for 60 years. We’ve on who will be the best leader of the been in South Korea for 50 years or so. United States of America, as if the That would be fine with me, as long public no longer cares about the poli- as Americans are not being injured or cies of candidates. harmed of wounded or killed.” Clear- For its own benefit, the American was accused of being anti-American toward people who aren’t like them, themselves; nevertheless, smear cam- ly, the forces of misleading informa- public needs to make an informed de- after a video on Youtube surfaced of or anti-immigrant sentiment, or anti- paigns have shifted the focus of the tion are at work here. cision on November 4. But in becom- him not saluting the American flag trade sentiment as a way to explain election from honest politics to the An election that began with so ing informed, it should be more con- during the national anthem. The their frustrations.” discovery and the invention of ques- much potential has become so nega- cerned with the candidates’ political racially-charged, anti-American and Hillary has called Obama an elit- tionably relevant scandals. tive. There must be a way to solve the plans and abilities than the often false anti-Hillary rants of Obama’s radical ist, and, at a recent debate, Obama The Democratic Party has also problem. The attacks will never stop smears put against them. pastor, the Reverend Jeverend Wright, had to answer a question about why lashed out against Republican nomi- if the public and media continue to The race for the Democratic party furthered these claims. Obama’s Ara- he dressed the way he does, another nee John McCain. In an aggressive punish the ones attacked. Politicians presidential nomination between Ba- bic middle name, Hussein, has also email to party faithfuls titled “How will never stop their smear campaigns rack Obama and Hillary Clinton has created undue controversy. So has his We’ll Beat McCain,” party chairman if they are rewarded for them. Orga- been especially dirty. Enthused at Kenyan father, who himself is Mus- Voters are being Howard Dean told the Democrats of nizations like factcheck.org have done the start of the election by the large lim. swayed by scandals the need to fight the Republicans: “We a good job of sorting out truths from number of qualified candidates in this Other accusations of his having stand—right now—start fighting…We falsehoods, but the public reads news- election, I remember thinking that terrorist connections were bolstered more than they must be read to fight back, and fight papers and watches television. The this election was going to be one of with “evidence” that he visited the are by policy. back hard, today.” Dean continued in mass media, thus, should be wary of the greatest displays of democracy in house of two 1960s radicals, one of the email to make ridiculous accusa- these false attacks and be more thor- the history of our country. the most infamous participants in the tions against McCain. Factcheck.org, ough in its fact-checking. After an unpopular president, some violent anti-war movement and that question regarding his “elitism.” Some a non-partisan, non-profit website op- Negativism and conspiracy mon- of the best politicians from all over the he funded an organization that rejects of these accusations may be rooted in erated out of the University of Penn- gering are making the decision for country announced their candidacy Israel’s existence. truth; some are blatantly fictional. sylvania, analyzes the many twisted voters, especially less informed ones. for office. We Americans, it seemed, Obama further worsened matters Hillary has had to field fewer ac- comments in the email. We can’t afford a lackluster president would truly be getting our pick of the for himself with an ineloquent com- cusations directly from her opponent, For instance, Dean accused Mc- right now, and it’s time the best candi- best candidates for president. Instead, ment about the guns and piety of but she still has faced serious criti- Cain of turning a blind eye in the date is actually elected. the election has dissembled into a bat- small-town Americans when he said, cism from the media. She has also lost Abramoff lobbyist scandal. In reality, Sebastian Becker is a one-year tle of cheap shots and attacks. “And it’s not surprising that [small popularity for some of her aggressive McCain, as chairman of the Indian Af- Lower. The Democratic primary has town Americans] get bitter, and they attacks. This is not to say that all at- fairs Committee, thoroughly investi- [email protected] reached the point of absurdity. Obama cling to guns, or religion, or antipathy tacks have come from the candidates gated the matter, which led to the jail A4 Features The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Features 2008 Youth Health and Risk Behavior Survey

This survey is about health behavior. It has been developed so you can tell us what you do that may affect your health. You know, things like eating, breathing, sexing and drinking first thing in the morning. The information you give will be used to develop better health education for young people like yourself.

DO NOT write your name on this survey. And please do not write someone else’s name either. The answers you give will be kept private. No one will know what you write. Seriously, we’re just going to throw these away and nobody will ever see them.

Completing the survey is voluntary. If you are not comfortable answering a question, just leave it blank.

The questions that ask about your background will be used only to describe the types of students completing this survey. The information will not be used to find out your name. No names will ever be reported. Your names are worthless to us.

Make sure to read every question. Fill in the circles completely.

Shade Circles Like This -->

This is my Not Like This --> answer

Thank you very much for your help. Sorry if the questions about sex make you feel uncool, Andover nerds.

Please answer the following questions

______5. On average, during this school year, how home- sick have you felt? • Use a #2 pencil only. A. Not at all homesick; I hate my parents • Make dark marks. B. Just a little homesick; my friends at home • To change your answer, erase completely. make me feel smarter C. Moderately homesick 1. How tall are you without your shoes on? D. Very homesick; I miss my servants and chauffeur

Feet Inches 6. During the past 30 days, on how many days did you carry a weapon such as a gun, knife, club, mace, rapier, board with nail in it, large rock, sharpened 2. How tall are you with your shoes on? spoon or shark tooth necklace? A. 0 days B. Most Thursdays C. 2 or 3 days Feet Inches D. 5 or more days

Therefore, how tall are your shoes? 7. During the past 12 months, did your boyfriend (3 pts.; show all work, no calculator) or girlfriend ever hit, slap or physically hurt you on purpose? A. Yes, he slapped me, but he said he was just Feet Inches reaching for his gun B. No, I’m single

3. At school, what is your primary reason for lack of 8. During the past 30 days, did you vomit or take sleep? laxatives to lose weight or to keep from gaining A. Academic workload weight? B. Night terrors A. Last week, my roommate gave me a cake C. www.dancingjesus.com mixed with Ex-Lax D. Socializing B. No E. Taking surveys

10. During the past 30 days, on how many days did 4. On average, during this school year, how pres- you sniff glue, with brands such as Elmer’s, Krazy sured or stressed have you felt? Glue, Gorilla Glue, Rubber Cement, Super Glue, A. Not at all pressured or stressed Sam’s Club Glue, CVS Brand Glue and RoseArt B. Enough that I use two sticks of deodorant Glue? each week A. 0 days C. Moderately pressured or stressed B. 1 or 2 days D. Well, last night I pulled out my eyelashes C. 3 or 4 days in my sleep D. To be honest, I’ve been sniffing so much E. I’m so stressed I’ve stopped having my glue it’s hard to remember period May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Features A5

11. During the past 12 months, if you felt sad or 10. Did you answer A on the previous three hopeless almost every day for two weeks or more in questions, you nerd? a row, from whom did you seek help? A. Yes, I did, and now I need to reassess my A. Ask Amanda in the Phillipian Arts Section answers to those depression questions B. Friends B. No C. Graham House counselors D. A motivational speaker at a nearby Holiday Inn 21. On an average school day, how many hours do you watch TV, streaming videos or movies? A. Streaming video? Well, every night in my 12. How many alcoholic drinks can you hold (with- room from about midnight until 2 out passing out)? a.m. I…. A. I don’t drink B. Less than one hour per day B. One drink, I weigh 64 pounds C. 1 hour – I watch “Lost,” then talk about it C. Two drinks – one in each hand for another three hours D. 4 drinks or more D. 2 hours per day E. More than 3 hours per day

13. Do you sometimes take a drink in the morning when you first get up? 22. How many times have you been pregnant or A. Yes, of mouthwash gotten someone pregnant? B. Only if I have double math first period A. 0 times C. No B. 1 time C. 2 or more times D. Not sure – I get so much action that I can’t 14. Have you ever gotten into a verbal or physical keep track of all my illegitimate children fight while under the influence of alcohol? A. Yes, but the other guy said he was going to turn my hand into a garden gnome 23. How many pregnancies have you terminated in B. No the last 30 days? A. under 100 B. 100-500 15. During your life, how many times have you used C. more than 500 any form of cocaine, including powder, crack, free- D. I don’t work at an abortion clinic base, snowball, speedball, Florida snow or gutter glitter? A. Are those examples all really names for 24. How do you describe your weight? cocaine? A. Very underweight B. 0 times B. Well, it fluctuates from meal to meal, and C. 1 or 2 times sometimes I’m really sensitive about it, D. More than 3 times especially at pool parties. But most of the time I think I do a good job of keeping it at a healthy level. 16. During your life, how many times have you used C. 137.54 lbs. or 62.5 kg. heroin, also called smack, junk or China White? D. Morbidly obese A. China White? Awesome B. 0 times C. 1 or 2 times 25. On how many of the past 7 days did you D. A few times, but not enough to know it was exercise or participate in physical activity for at called China White least 60 minutes that made you sweat and breathe hard, such as basketball, soccer, running, fencing, cockfighting, thumb-twiddling, fast dancing or 17. Think of your four best friends (the friends you similar aerobic activities? feel closest to, you moron). In the past year (12 A. 0 days months, 52 weeks, 365 days), how many of your B. I don’t do physical activities. It interferes best friends have used marijuana, LSD, cocaine, with my G.P.A. amphetamines or other illegal drugs? C. At least 60 minutes? I can’t stay standing A. 0 for more than 20. That’s not even a fair B. 1, but he’s an international student question. C. 2 D. 3 E. 4, so I’m always the designated driver for 26. Are you done with this survey? my screw-up friends A. Yes, finally B. Well, how would you define “done?” C. Only if this is the last question 18. Have you ever had sexual intercourse? D. Wait, there are five more choices for this A. No, I’m a hopeless virgin question? B. Yes, about a dozen times E. This seems kind of unnecessary C. Yes and I’m having sex right now F. Why are there so many options? D. Yes, and it was the best thirty seconds G. This is so hard. I can’t decide of my life H. Okay, I think I’m going to go with this one I. Well, definitely not this one

19. Have you ever had oral sex? A. No, thanks for reminding me 27. You’re finally done! What are you going to do B. Oh yeah! now? A. Take more surveys! B. China White? Really? 20. Have you ever had oral sex followed by sexual intercourse? This is the end of the survey. A. No, I haven’t, and I’m starting to feel like a loser Thank you very much for your help. B. Yes! —Jonathan Adler A6 News The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Peer Schools Discuss Service Students Debate Value of College Fair; Some Found Event At Exeter-Hosted Conference Helpful, While Others Declare Experience Tedious By MARI MIYACHI

Around 60 students and She emphasized the impor- Continued from A1, Column 1 faculty from Andover, Exeter, tance of this event because, Deerfield, Northfield Mount “Normally, we don’t neces- dispelling stereotypes about Hermon and other peer sarily have the time to look at their campuses and doing schools gathered on the Ex- how we can help others struc- their best to answer the end- eter campus for the 2008 Ex- ture their program.” less stream of questions. eter-Andover Service Learn- The conference also helped The apprehension was evi- ing Conference last Sunday to many students reaffirm the dent on Uppers’ faces as they discuss the similarities, differ- value of Andover’s commu- clutched colorful brochures ences and various challenges nity service program, which is to their chests and scanned faced by their respective com- “very established and far more the tables for the next college munity service programs. extensive then the programs on their preliminary lists. Andover was represented of our peer schools,” accord- Even younger students at Sunday’s conference by the ing to Doyle. seemed to catch the college two current Community Ser- The representatives from bug. “I’m a Lower, so thinking vice General Coordinators, all the schools agreed that about it all . . . It’s finally sink- Jess Cole ’08 and Mary Doyle they wanted to make the Ser- ing in,” said Gauri Thaker ’10. ’08, the two incoming Gen- vice Learning Conference an Arun Saigal ’09 said that eral Coordinators, Marianna annual event. he was able to “get a feel for Jordan ’09 and Tori Wilmarth To continue establishing different colleges that [he ’09, two Community Engage- a sense of community among is] looking at,” and is “better R. Slamova/ THe Phillipian ment Council members, Rad- the schools in the meantime, aware of where I want to ap- Representatives from colleges across the country offer perspectives and brochures to ka Dancikova ’09 and Hanna Exeter set up a community ply and go.” students at different stages of the application process. Gully ’09, and Celia Lewis ’10 service blog as a space to co- Local students and families and Krystle Manuel-Countee ordinate and bounce ideas off also attended the college fair. “[Middlebury] fits with all ence at the college fair and had few students from out- ’09. one another. Sarah Rutter ’09 said that my interests,” she said. found a downside to attend- side the United States. How- Adrienne Marshall, Assis- Doyle said, “[The Service she encountered about ten Mackey, who asked several ing the event accompanied by ever, after talking to the Rice tant Director of Community Learning Conference] was a people from North Andover questions and listened as oth- her mother. delegation and learning that a Service, said that the confer- great foundation for future High School. A friend from ers posed their own, found Although Finch found her significant percentage of Rice ence was “a great place for conferences.” the Brooks School in North her approach to the College mother’s input helpful, es- students study abroad, Fan us to evaluate, to step back “I think [the Conference Andover told Rutter that Fair relatively relaxed. pecially since Finch “didn’t said that she was convinced from the program and ask was] really about just sharing,” Brooks sent two buses full of “I don’t have anything pre- really want to talk to people of the school’s commitment what things could really be Marshall added. “[Andover’s students to the college fair. planned,” she said. wearing suits,” she also found to international diversity. changed, which you don’t nec- community service program] One student from Concord Although Mackey knows herself being steered in the Representatives seemed essarily see when you’re in the has gained the ability to col- Academy came well-equipped “[some people] who re- direction of her mother’s well aware of certain stereo- program day to day.” laborate.” for the tedium of filling out searched and wrote out a list alma mater. types about their colleges and The conference kicked off Last fall, the Exeter Social her name, address, and pre- of questions,” she said that Finch said, “Pretty much, so tried their best to deflect with student presentations Service Organization con- ferred fields of study at each she thinks it is “better to be [the college Admissions offi- the traditional criticisms. about the community service tacted Andover and proposed table, by bringing stickers yourself.” cers] all say the same thing,” When asked about the so- program at each school. to host the Service Learning printed with her personal in- However, Rutter described so the College Fair “doesn’t cial life on the University of Marshall said, “We focused Conference. formation. a certain art required to really help narrow things Chicago campus, the repre- on [discussing] what challeng- Students from Andover’s Anna Mackey ’09 tracking achieve maximum success at down. But I got on some mail- sentative first replied in a es we are facing, how our pro- Community Engagement down the table for Middle- a College Fair. ing lists,” she added, joking deadpan tone that UChicago grams are similar, [and] how Council, which is composed bury College. Although al- She explained, “I don’t that now she will have “more students have no social life. we can grow and learn from of eight community service ready acquainted with the want them to think that I’m paper to recycle.” After a few moments, the each other.” coordinators, and Exeter stu- school because her brother sucking up to them, but I also Jennifer Fan ’09 found the representative, an Assistant Dancikova added, “It was dents met in October and then enrolled this past fall, Mack- want to make a good impres- College Fair “very informa- Dean of Admissions, broke his interesting to see how differ- again at the Andover-Exeter ey was happy to learn that the sion.” tive.” She explained, “I can serious façade and explained ent school dynamics contrib- games in November to discuss school offers Chinese and en- Margaret Finch ’09 was get a good impression of the that the university’s students ute to leadership and the com- and plan the event. vironmental studies. not thrilled with her experi- school . . . [by] talking to the are generally “nerd”-like but munity service program.” reps.” also participate in conven- The attendees then broke An international student, tional college social activi- up into roundtable discussion Students Use Silence to Protest Discrimination Fan was originally worried ties. groups to discuss topics such that Rice University in Texas as social context, leadership, California who was shot and staying quiet was difficult, but the role of reflection, program Continued from A1, Column 3 killed by a classmate because of teachers and fellow classmates accessibility and the downside his sexual orientation and gen- were understanding. of service. The Gay, Lesbian and Straight der expression. “During my first period class, Joe Commanaro, Assistant Education Network (GLSEN) ’NSync’s Lance Bass and I was doing an experiment. My Professor of Political Science became the national sponsor CNN’s Larry King both filmed lab partner didn’t even ask, but at Providence College, pre- in 2001. The Day of Silence is public service announcements she completely understood,” sented a speech on student also endorsed by Andover’s Gay in support of Lawrence King said Oot. and faculty incentives for par- Straight Alliance. and the Day of Silence. Participation levels for the ticipating in community ser- GLSEN describes the Day “Since the Day of Silence Day of Silence varied. vice. of Silence as a “student-led was dedicated to Lawrence Oot said, “GSA really tried Commanaro stressed that day of action when concerned King, I believe more people to emphasize this year that the for students, high school is students, from middle school were taking it seriously. People level of participation during the a time of clarification of val- to college, take some form of a realized that the Day of Silence day is your personal choice.” ues. Thus, service is crucial vow of silence to bring atten- is not just a day. People actually Tipton said, “Students may because it leads to exposure tion to the name-calling, bully- get killed over these issues,” choose to be silent only during to real life situations, larger ing and harassment—in effect, said Oot. classes, but they’re still respon- social context and caring for the silencing— experienced by “Also, fewer people were sible for all their work. Also, all others. LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual getting harassed for being si- teachers are notified of the Day Marshall explained that and transgender) students and lent this year, for example there of Silence in advance, so I do the overarching theme of their allies.” were fewer friends that tried to not believe this day is disrup- R. Slamova/ THe Phillipian the conference was that, “As GLSEN’s 2005 National trick participants into speak- tive.” One student learns about the University of Colorado. much as our programs differ, School Climate Survey reported ing,” continued Oot. we are facing the same chal- that four out of five LGBT stu- Bradly Kneisel ’10 said, “I lenges: reflection, leadership, dents report verbal, sexual or definitely noticed people - par faculty and student outreach, physical harassment at school. ticipating in the Day of Silence, scheduling conflicts…it was This year’s Day of Silence especially with people whom I reaffirming and gave us a fresh was dedicated to Lawrence attempted to talk with.” perspective.” King, an eighth grader from For most other students,

STAND’s Spring Raffle Lacks Success of Fall Term “Change for Darfur” Fundraiser

will go to the winner of the According to Glassberg, By BEN PODELL raffle. however, several local business- “It’s not really ideal to have es showed no interest in donat- Despite the efforts of the to give away any of the money ing gift cards or cash to aid the Phillips Academy chapter of to anything except Darfur, but I cause in Darfur. STAND (Students Taking Ac- think students here and people “We pushed the two [op- tion Now: Darfur), it could not in general want incentive when tions] equally,” said Glassberg, match its success of Fall Term. donating money,” said Glass- but only three businesses chose At the close of the fundraiser berg. to donate gift certificates as this week, STAND raised a total Pingeton added that giving a prizes. of $460 from the raffle ticket prize directly dependent on the Different STAND members sales, making it “the worst amount of money raised was came up with various theories we’ve had so far,” according to more practical than the types as to why this fundraiser was Daniel Glassberg, founder and of gifts usually given at raffles, less successful than others, president of STAND. which have set prices. most of them involving the lo- STAND raised $1,647 during She added, “We wanted to gistics and location of Uncom- its Change for Darfur fundrais- do this to ensure [that the raffle mons. ing competition in Fall Term. would raise money.]” “It’s easier to avoid the booth STAND held the most re- Along with the monetary here than in Commons,” Glass- cent fundraiser in the form of a prize, local businesses contact- berg said. raffle, selling tickets for a dollar ed by Glassberg gave gift cards Pingeton said, “It’s a new apiece. as other raffle rewards. setting; I think it’s further away According to Blaire Pingeton Member Robert Buka ’09 and people are less likely to ’09, the STAND Liason Vice said that STAND had received bring their wallets.” President, 90 percent of the $50 in credit at local French “We were more aggressive money raised by the ticket sales bistro Cassis, five $20 gift -cer last time,” she added, saying that will go to the Genocide Inter- tificates at downtown restau- this helped STAND raise mon- vention Network, a non-profit rant Glory and $25 for use at ey despite the fact that “people institute based in Washington, the Andover Inn to give away as got a little sick of STAND by the D.C., and the other 10 percent raffle prizes. end of the last [fundraiser].” May 2, 2008 The Phillipian News A7 Phillips Academy Advanced Mock Trial Team Victorious in Debut Four Rising Seniors To Serve Interscholastic Competition, Judged by Superior Court Justices As PACE Assistant Teachers

(what the other team’s argument team’s direct examinations, cross learned all of the rules of Mock By JULIA DEAN By ANNIE LI is going to be.” examinations and witness per- Trials in this short period,” said Mock Trial is only in its third formances. Buka. As PACE classes continue to tivities. “She knows I’m outgo- In its first interscholastic year as a club. The advanced Judge Lu has 25 years of ex- “I thought it went pretty well, adapt and change according to ing but responsible, and she felt competition on Sunday, Phillips team that competed on Sunday perience in mock trial competi- since we’ve been prepping for students’ feedback, Carlos Hoyt, that she could work with me Academy’s advanced Mock Trial consisted of 11 students, and the tions. According to Thomas, Lu two terms, and as a witness you Associate Dean of Students, and and that I would be easy for the team defeated the St. George’s novice group consisted of 9 par- “ran that trial like a real trial, and have to learn your part and really the other PACE instructors are kids to talk to,” Willis said. School from Vancouver, Canada ticipants. not with mock trial rules. He was think on your feet,” said Kerstin working toward incorporat- “I’m hoping that the new, in the first Andover competition Prior to this competition, the very strict with court procedure Brolsma ’11. ing student instructors to work younger students will be able judged by federal judges. two advanced groups had par- and he overruled most of the ob- “What’s exciting is that you alongside current PACE faculty. to know a Senior, someone they Out of 110 points, PA’s Mock ticipated in an intramural com- jections.” don’t know what’s going to hap- Next year, four instructors can talk to, say hi to on the way Trial team received 99 points, petition to qualify to compete on Individuals were judged on pen, and during cross-examina- will teach the class with a Senior to classes, the conversations to winning by a three-point lead Sunday against St. George’s. Both a 0 to 10 scale on their abilities tion, it’s pretty intimidating [to as an assistant teacher. The four really hit home,” Willis contin- over St. George’s 96 points. teams began to prepare for PA in public speaking, articulation, be a witness],” said Shefali Lohia instructors were each given free ued. Phillips Academy’s novice Mock Trial’s first interscholastic critical thinking, forming and ’10. Cross-examination is the reign to choose their assistant. The PACE classes are “dis- team, however, lost to Phillips competition during winter term. answering questions, as well as process of questioning the wit- Hoyt has been working to cussion-based classes” and Exeter Academy’s team by a sin- Buka, Peter Ly ’09 and David behavior and ability to assume nesses by the other team. incorporate assistant teachers “have a very fluid curriculum, gle point, 80 to 81. Lowenstein ’09 trained the nov- specific roles, according to Ly. “I think both teams did really for a long time, and, if all goes making sure to teach anything Rob Buka ’09, President of ice team, while Alex Gottfried Judge Lu named Thomas well, I really hope we get to do according to plan, the pilot pro- that is in the Blue Book that we Mock Trial, said, “The trial was ’09 and Phil Oasis ’09 trained the as runner up for “Outstanding something like that again,” said gram will begin next year, he feel like the kids need to know evenly matched and Andover team that would compete against Performance” for her excellent Thomas. “Unlike Philo or Model said. to keep them from getting into performed well with their wit- the St. George’s team. Andi Zhou opening statement and cross- U.N., Mock Trial puts you in a Kennan Daniel, Adminis- trouble,” said Daniel. nesses.” ’09 and Nana Matsushita ’09 examination. situation that is a close simula- trative Assistant in the Dean The purpose of the PACE Jane Thomas ’10 said, “It was trained another advanced team. Thomas said, “I walked in tion of real life and it something of Students Office, is among classes is to create a safe envi- a really fantastic experience. For In addition to being the first with 29 questions, but by the close to what you might be doing the four teachers who will be ronment, where students can intramural competition, you have interscholastic competition, time during my cross examina- later on in life – I mean, tons of working with a Senior assistant. “make friends and form rela- an idea of how good your oppo- Sunday’s competition was also tion, I had written down 10 more us could end up lawyers, so this “The Senior can be anyone, and tionships with faculty mem- nent is going to be, but for this Phillips Academy’s first to host questions, most of which I have experience really gives you great I chose a student from a PACE bers on campus... When new [competition], you really don’t federal judges. asked. You definitely have to skills.” class in previous years,” she students join the class it is hard know what to expect – the only Judges Philip Hollman and know the case like the back of “We plan to enter the state said. for them to get assimilated with thing that is predictable in the Jack Lu, two highly experienced your hand.” competition next year, and feel Hoyt said of the selection people who are already bond- court is your opening statement. Superior Court Justices, chose The judge had also noted that that this experience was vital to process, “I deliberately want it ed,” Daniel continued. So you can prepare as much as the winners of each mock trial she was “as skilled at making ob- that goal,” wrote Alex Gottfried, to be an organic process, one Another anticipated change you can, but you never know based on the quality of each jections as most entry-level law Vice President of Mock Trial, in that has arisen from student in- in the PACE infrastructure for students,” according to Thomas. an email to The Phillipian. terest.” next year is the addition of class Hoonie Moon ’10, who joined Buka and the other Mock Tri- The student leaders will not time. Next year, each PACE Mock Trial’s novice team during al board members look forward be responsible for lesson plans, class will be taught in a double Winter Term, received individ- to the state competition next but it is hoped that they will period, with food provided to ual Outstanding Performance in year, which will consist of over help facilitate discussion and keep students satisfied. the competition against Exeter. 100 teams competing within the make PACE something that stu- Changes to the system “The novice teams’ perfor- state of Massachusetts. One of dents can look forward to. started two years ago, when it mance was impressive because the 100 teams will advance to the Deidra Willis ’09 will serve was decided that the Life Is- they not only developed a solid national competition. as assistant teacher for Cindy sues course should be renamed case in two terms, but they also Efinger, Director of Student Ac- Personal and Community Edu- cation (PACE). PACE classes Trustees Arrive on Campus, Meet with are mandatory pass/fail classes which all students take Lower Admissions After Need-Blind Launch Year year. PACE was limited to a single Continued from A1, Column 6 “[Outreach programs] are al staff for the Peabody and re- term after originally being a Courtesy of Phil Oasis all very successful programs, furbishment of the building due two-term commitment because (from left) Andi Zhou ’09, Tomek Brzezinski ’10 and Chel- “silent phase”—its campaign but they have not really been to physical plant needs. many Lowers’ schedules change sea Carlson ’09 were part of the team that beat St. George’s. remains unnamed and its fund- considered integral to the Acad- The Trustees arrived yester- from Fall to Winter Term, ef- raising goal unannounced. Over emy,” said Tang. “The institu- day on campus and divided into fectively switching their PACE this weekend, the Trustees will tional identity part is to un- smaller committee sessions. classes. Fan ’09 Will Sell Prints Online continue deliberating over cam- derstand how these programs This morning, the Trustees When the classes for this her and review her art for future paign goals in order to finalize really reflect on the Academy.” united as a full board for col- year finished, the instructors Continued from A1, Column 4 purchase. details by their next meeting in “[Outreach programs] are lective decision-making. Their collected feedback from the stu- Torabi said, “I consider my- October. leveraging the skills and the meetings end on Saturday at dents. Many agreed that since founder of Ink Oasis, a biweekly self [Fan’s] manager because she Jane Fried, Dean of Admis- capabilities that we have to noon. cutting the courses to a single club that practices Chinese art on needs help to get out, to get away sion, and James Ventre, Director serve a broader public, and so The Trustees will hold a din- term, “students felt rushed, and cards, bookmarks and albums. from campus . . . She has left the of Financial Aid and Admission institutional identity is to fit ner on tonight with faculty and the conversations became shal- Fan sells each Ink Oasis paint- Andover bubble. . . She has also Operations, will give a present these programs into what is An- the Alumni Council, which is low,” said Daniel. ing for around $20 to $60 and connected with the Chinese results from this year’s admis- dover,” continued Tang. “What also on campus this weekend. Looking forward, PACE in- has dedicated the profits made Painting Guild, a Chinese art as- sions cycle to the Trustees. the study produced is how they During this dinner, the Trustees structors are looking to revital- from painting sales to fund the sociation . . . in the greater Bos- They will address Phillips fit into the basic values of the will honor the six retiring fac- ize the curriculum. “It’s getting construction of a medical clinic ton area.” Academy’s debut need-blind Academy.” ulty members and the two re- kind of stale. My goal is to im- in the province of Guizhou in Fan first began Chinese paint- policy and how this has im- Tracy Sweet, Director of tiring Trustees, Louis Elson ’80 prove structure and substance,” rural China. Fan’s goal is to raise ing at the age of seven but did not pacted the demographics of the Academy Communications, will and Lucy Danziger ’78. Hoyt said. the needed $1000 by the end of become serious until 11, when school. also hold a meeting with the the school year. she began learning under Master “It’s really to review the Trustees on the issue of com- The donations are man- Lam Yat Chi. first year’s results of having municating Andover’s institu- 11 Native American Educators aged by the Amity Foundation, Fan said, “I normally paint at made this decision [to imple- tional identity. an organization in China in the least for one hour in Hong Kong ment need-blind admissions],” Another discussion item for To Visit Campus Next Week process of building schools and every day, plus a weekly lesson. said Tang. “We’re going to get the Trustees this weekend will Recruitment from Dartmouth clinics in 33 provinces. Fan plans But here at Andover, I only paint more detailed reports later, but be the future of the Andover Inn By MELISSA YAN College, will give a speech to the to travel to the clinic and hopes about two to three times per I think the preliminary indica- following its transition to a new representatives in Kemper on to bring Ink Oasis members with week.” tions have been very success- management company, Morello Phillips Academy is commit- Wednesday evening. her. Carolyn Whittingham ’11, an ful.” Hospitality Group, which oc- ted to strengthening the school’s Gover, who is a Pawnee Na- In addition to the Ink Oa- active member of Ink Oasis, said, The Task Force on Outreach curred this past February. relationship with Native Ameri- tive, “will discuss his personal sis products, Fan sells her own “Jen tries to think of new, inven- and Institutional Identity, a Tang said, “We have a report can communities and increasing journey–he attended a boarding paintings for $150 to $200, and tive ways to teach us how to do group in charge of examining that analyzes what a reasonable the population of Native Ameri- school as well, and will offer a $300 for some of her larger the art. One time she let us do a current outreach programs, expectation is for the inn as a cans at Phillips Academy, said professional point of view, in- paintings. landscape with toothbrushes.” will report its findings over the business, because its current Jose Powell, Assistant Dean of cluding what opportunities there Fan also earned over $200 Torabi said, “The [goal] for course of its 15-month exis- state is not its potential. The re- Admission. are for Native students to make from selling postcards and her next year is . . .to have a presenta- tence. port looks at ‘if we did a physi- The Native Leader Spring an impact at a boarding school first album, titled “Ink Song.” tion in Stevens Library in North The Task Force examines cal reconstruction of the inn at Visit Program, funded by the Ab- and some of the challenges they Fan’s next album will be pro- Andover… She also wants to have programs such as PALS, In- a certain level, what could we bot Academy Association, will be may face,” said Powell. duced in Hong Kong and re- an auction here in our library, the stitute for the Recruitment of reasonably expect in terms of held for the first time next week. The representatives will also leased in early June. OWHL, because some faculty Teachers (IRT), (MS)2, Sum- business?’” Eleven Native American lead- visit the Peabody Museum with Last Sunday, Ink Oasis and members have shown interest.” mer Session and Andover Bread Other affairs for the Trust- ers and educators representing Malinda Blustain, Director of the the Andover Philanthropist So- Torabi continued that Fan has Loaf and how they reflect the ees include voting on strategic Native communities from across Peabody Museum and will view ciety held an event at Starbucks offered to take a group of faculty school’s identity. With the re- planning for the Peabody Mu- the nation will visit Phillips Andover students’ work specifi- in downtown Andover to display with the Amity Foundation to port, the group will make rec- seum, which aims to integrate Academy from Tuesday, May 6, cally relating to the Native cul- and sell Chinese paintings, post- the Cave schools, where Fan will ommendations on how to man- the museum’s collection into to Thursday, May 8. ture. cards and cards created by Ink volunteer this summer in China. age these outreach programs the Andover’s educational cur- “This initiative is a continu- “We don’t know if the Native Oasis. They raised over $600. Fan said, “it’s a really beautiful within the context of Phillips ricula. Part of this strategic plan ation of our efforts to attract and Leader Spring Visit Program At Starbucks, “People were art. It brings peace to me, when I Academy’s mission. involves hiring more education- recruit youth from every quarter, will take place every year, but we just buying out of her catalogues teach. It’s a really good balance specifically the Native popula- hope to make a long-standing re- because some of her artwork is for work and stress.” tion, which has a very small pres- lationship with the Native com- still in Hong Kong, and her par- Torabi said, “I saw her talent, ence on our campus right now,” munities,” said Powell. ents are going to ship it,” said and I saw her general humble said Powell. Prior to the Native Leader Susanne Torabi, International spirit with her true non-sibi spir- The PA student body current- Spring Visit Program initiative, Student Coordinator it. I saw this in her and I wanted ly has a Native population of less three faculty members, Powell, Fan is currently working on her to show this side of her to the than one percent. Jonathan Stableford, Instructor a website, since many patrons Andover community and she has The visiting group comprises in English, and Randall Peffer, have requested a way to contact taken off. of representatives from eight Instructor in English, attended high schools, one college, a Na- a Native access program called tive educational access program College Horizons at Harvard and the U.S. Bureau of Indian Af- University. fairs. There, the three faculty mem- During their stay, the rep- bers met with 100 high-achieving resentatives will visit classes, Native students from across the All-School Meeting and athletic country, mostly from Colorado, events. New Mexico, Arizona, Oklaho- “The Native representatives ma, Virginia and southern Mas- will have the opportunity to con- sachusetts. verse with students, whether it In the fall of 2008, two Native be in UnCommons or after class,” students that attended the Col- Powell added. lege Horizons program will at- Phil Gover, Director of Native tend PA as postgraduates. A8 News The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Dr. Cernota Accepted to Chem “Hall of Fame” Students Learn Interview and Application Tips

I’m not really one hundred per- Kevin Cardozo, Chair of the For Summer Jobs and Internship Positions By TIM GHOSH cent sure as to what I did in order Chemistry Department and win- to get elected.” ner of the same award last spring, By JULIE XIE Zhou wanted the workshop Following social courtesy Paul Cernota, Instructor in According to Cernota, one of wrote in an email, “Dr. Cernota to focus more on informing stu- and behavior is very important, Chemistry and Scheduling Offi- the factors in determining the has become one of the veterans Students hoping to secure a dents on what kind of jobs are according to Cloonan. In an in- cer, was accepted as a member of recipients of the award is the in the department, and over time coveted summer job or intern- out there for teenagers over the terview, being enthusiastic and the Aula Laudis Society, the “Hall performance of the teacher’s he will become a legend based ship attended a workshop on summer, where to look, and who optimistic, smiling, making eye of Fame” for high school chemis- students on the Ashdown Exam, on his many years of successful summer opportunities last Fri- to talk to. contact and giving the interview- try teachers, by the Northeastern a qualifying exam for the United teaching, so it is fitting that such day during Advising period. Cloonan worked at a law firm, er a firm handshake are impor- Section of the American Chemi- States Chemistry Olympiad. an accomplished teacher receive “Applying, interviewing, and where she interviewed and re- tant etiquettes to follow, she said. cal Society (ACS) last week. The Ashdown Exam was giv- this award.” sending in a résumé for a job… cruited people for positions. “Act as if you’ve got the job. According to Cernota, ap- en on April 5 at Simmons College Cardozo added, “We don’t ex- there’s an art to the entire pro- “I found that, as I was inter- This way, when you walk into proximately four to five teachers in Boston. plicitly prepare students for the cess,” said Roxanne Barry, Direc- viewing people, that it was im- the room, the interview is more are inducted into the society per According to Jack You ’10, the Chemistry Olympiad, so the stu- tor of the Summer Opportunities portant to know how to inter- receptive to you. It also gives you year. school sent the top two students dents’ success is an indicator that office. view. The nuances and tricks to confidence,” said Cloonan. The distinction came as a sur- from Chemistry 550, the top two the high standards and quality in Barry, along with Christine apply and how to interact with After the interview, Cloonan prise for Cernota, who expected from Chemistry 580, and one stu- our current chemistry program Cloonan, Instructor in Spanish, the interview,” she said. advised sending a thank you note the letter from the ACS to be an dent who no longer takes chem- are serving students well.” provided insider tips to obtaining Cloonan suggested visiting the to the interviewer. She pointed invitation to watch the award cer- istry to the Ashdown Exam. The The award ceremony will be internship positions. Summer Opportunities Office to out that writing a follow-up note emony, but was instead informed top students were determined next Thursday at Northeastern Adam Tohn ’10, who was al- begin the search for internship could also make a student’s ré- that he was to be honored. according to their performance University in Boston, and will ready planning to apply for a positions. She also recommended sumé stand out and shows that Cernota, also known as “Doc on the Chemistry prize exam. feature a large banquet. job or internship, found the tips networking—talking to friends, you are interested and passionate C,” said, “[The award] pretty You, one of the top scorers Along with presenting the Cloonan presented very valu- teachers, parents and alumni— about the job. much came as a surprise to me. from Chemistry 580 and a stu- newest inductees to the Aula able. He said, “She gave the kind for other possible positions. Lastly, Cloonan stressed the dent of Cernota’s, said, “I really Laudis Society, the ACS will hon- of advice that no one tells you “[Alumni] are a great resource. importance of the résumé. “This like his teaching style, because or the winners of the Ashdown else where and made the whole You don’t know how helpful An- is one page to sell yourself and the material we cover in 580 is Exam and give prizes for under- application process seem far less dover alums are to other alums,” to show that you are a perfect definitely hard, but he makes graduate and graduate student intimidating . . . I am more confi- she said. match for the job you’re applying it much simpler, and he lets us research. dent about it now,” said Tohn. Once a student finds an intern- for,” she said. just know the essential concepts, Cernota said that other than However, not all the attendees ship position of interest in a spe- Cloonan said, “You don’t get a rather than all the trivial details.” sending students for the Ash- were satisfied with the -work cific company Cloonan advised rewrite on [the résumé], so have He continued, “The multiple down Exam, he is “not particu- shop. reading up on the background of lots of people review it. There choice that we regularly do for larly active” in the ACS. However, Andi Zhou ’09 said, “It didn’t the company or organization. can be absolutely no mistakes tests is really extensive, so I guess Cernota said that he has attended give me exactly what I was hop- She advised having answers or typos. People are judging you that’s why we were so well pre- the award ceremony in the past ing to get out of it. I wanted more to the typical basic questions on your attention to detail. You pared for the prize exam and the when students who were receiv- tips on how to find jobs, instead prepared and dressing appropri- probably will be tossed out of the Dr. Cernota is honored by the Ashdown Exam.” ing an award needed a ride. of how to present myself when I ately. pile if you do [have mistakes].” American Chemical Society find one.” “What you’re wearing is actu- Barry and Cloonan were sur- ally very important. It shows you prised at the turnout of over Poetry Reading GPG Report Suggests Creation of Global Initia- know what type of job this is, the 40 kids at the workshop. Barry social norms, the industry, and hopes to make Cloonan’s Pow- Garners Praise tives Office and Increased Opportunities Abroad it shows you care about yourself erpoint accessible for students to and thus your job,” she said. view and refer back to. es Department and Chris Shaw, proposal includes increasing op- By WILL LINDSEY From Students Instructor in History and Social portunities for faculty both with To carry out a goal from the Science. Maqubela and John classes and summer research Returning Students Can Continued from A1, Column 6 2004 Strategic Plan, the Global Rogers, Dean of Studies, are ex projects. Perspectives Group (GPG) has officio members. The GPG’s report said, “We Choose Projects for NSD 2008 English, decide on which poet suggested forming an organiza- Merrill said that the group believe that the means to de- By LAUREN KIM to invite each year. tional body for the many com- believed it was important for velop broader foundations of “Pinsky is a logical choice,” munity service and abroad pro- both faculty and students to faculty expertise is by support- Though half of Spring Term Alumni Affairs Jennifer Savino, said Stableford. grams, in a recent report to the have a “global” perspective on ing faculty research on pressing remains, the Community Ser- Teaching Fellow in Community Stableford added that he and faculty. the world. The recent report, global issues.” vice Office has begun planning Service Alana Rush, as well as O’Connor try to balance the The plan called for “a program though, does not restrict the As many faculty who come for Non Sibi Day 2008. alumni, faculty, parent and staff voices from year to year, bring- that effectively challenges [stu- word “global” to an international to Phillips Academy are trained Project signups will begin on representatives. ing both “hot shot” poets and dents] to develop their potential scale, but expands the definition in only one discipline, the GPG May 7 on PAnet. Cliff Brannan ’11, Krystle engaging teachers. and to depart as thoughtful, ver- to include service on national or wants to expand the opportuni- This is the second Non Sibi Manuel-Countee ’09, Michaeljit Stableford thought that satile, responsible participants in local scales as well. ties for the faculty. Day Phillips Academy has orga- Sandhu ’09 and Tori Wilmarth teaching PA students, who are the global community.” The report maintained that Some of the proposals for fac- nized. Members of the Phillips ’09 also participate in discus- considerably younger than his With this in mind, Temba Phillips Academy should help ulty development include “tar- Academy community – students, sions. usual pupils, was, “very special Maqubela, Dean of Faculty, students build global perspec- geted, term-long sabbaticals [that faculty, staff, alumni and parents Rush said that granting stu- for Pinsky.” formed the GPG in 2006, with a tives because “the world is focus on] Africa, Asia, Europe, – participate in various acts of dents freedom to choose their Stableford was excited to see “multi-pronged” focus, includ- changing at such a rapid pace North America, including, obvi- community service not just on projects is “puts more control in the large audience at the read- ing pushing for expanded oppor- that we must be sure of prepar- ously, local and national issues, the school campus but in vari- students’ hands.” ing and speculated that the fol- tunities for students and faculty, ing students to deal not just and Latin/South America,” and ous locations across the world. Wesley Meyer ‘11 said, “It’s lowing day’s Saturday classes and the creation of this organiza- with a different world, but with continuing offerings of grants The committee has already better because people will be might have encouraged some tional body, the Global Initiatives a world that will continue to and opportunities for faculty. met to discuss plans for the up- more willing to participate in teachers to make the event Office (GIO). change in ways we may not be Merrill explained that the coming Non Sibi Day. After the something they choose to do as mandatory. Under the leadership of Peter able to imagine.” GIO would help faculty organize meeting, the committee decided opposed to being forced to do “There’s something magi- Merrill, Chair of the Department The GPG believes that “our and research for trips abroad. to introduce a new system in it.” cal about being in a room with of World Languages, who cur- goal must be to educate all stu- If a history teacher wanted which students, with the excep- Annie Li ‘10 said, “Even people who think it’s okay to rently chairs the GPG, the group dents well, doing our best to pre- to travel to Africa to understand tion of Juniors, are given the though it takes longer to choose spend time listening to poetry,” has recently been forming ideas pare them to compete fully for more fully the topic he was opportunity to select their own what you want to do, you [are he said. to present to the faculty and ad- admission to whatever college is teaching, he said, the GIO would projects. given the opportunity to] take Dan Silva ’08 enjoyed the ministration, though the chang- a good match for their abilities, help the faculty member gain The Community Service Of- the initiative ... “I’m looking for- master class with Pinsky. es proposed would most likely with no significant gaps in their contacts in the area and plan fice will host a fair in UnCom- ward to see what they have to He said, “It’s funny because not take effect for the next two to backgrounds,” according to the travel, something that the school mons later this term, where stu- offer.” some of the older alumni teach- three years, according to Merrill. report. has never offered before, Merrill dents can learn more about each Juniors, along with their pre- ers [at PA] like to brag about Also in the group are Seth Merrill said that the GPG said. individual project and talk to the fects, will continue to help out at how when they attended [PA], Bardo, Instructor in English, wants to give all students the The GPG’s report said that, project organizers. the Spicket River as they did for Robert Frost came and gave a Linda Griffith, Dean of Commu- same summer opportunities, by while the duties for the GIO are The distributed informa- Non Sibi Day 2007. master class, but in forty or so nity and Multicultural Develop- working toward increasing the not currently specifically out- tion will provide details includ- Incoming Lowers, Uppers years, I feel like we’ll be brag- ment (CAMD), Tom Hodgson, financial aid for students who lined, “it is quite likely to evolve ing the type of project, location and PGs will be assigned to proj- ging just the same about how Chair of the Department of Reli- wish to travel abroad during the dramatically in ways we cannot and the time it will take place. ects at random. Robert Pinsky came and read for gion and Philosophy, Trish Rus- summer. foresee.” In choosing their projects, up- Alumni, faculty and parents us when we were in school.” sell, Chair of the Natural Scienc- The second part of the GPG’s perclassmen have priority over are also encouraged to sign up Lowers. for Non Sibi Day. During its reg- The Non Sibi Day 2008 steer- ular meeting time on May 15, the ing committee consists of Direc- Parents of Students of Phillips tor of Community Service Chad Academy (PSPA) will conduct Green, Assistant Director of a meeting during which parents Community Service Adrienne can find out how to be involved. Marshall, Associate Director of May 2, 2008 GIRLS CREW SPORTS GOLF Top Two Golf Takes Boats Third at Take First Newport

Andover Dominates Deerfield Claims Lowell Invitational Team Title

By Matt Higgins By Ben Ho Phillipian Sports Writer Phillipian Sports Writer

Sunday, the Girls first boat After starting the season won its race by over 10 sec- with a 4-2 record, the Andover onds at the Golf Team Lowell Invi- came in third tational. An- at “The Mas- dover’s depth ters” of all was clearly on its matches, Gi r l s Cr e w display, as the Go l f the Andover team placed a Newport In- boat in the top two in all four vitational. races. m. DIscenza/ THe Phillipian The tournament was held The Lowell Invitational Brianna McCarthy ’09 (left) scoops and throws a ground ball. Sarah Onorato ’11 (right) sneaks under the tag at home plate. at the famed Newport Coun- took place on the Merrimack try Club, one of the oldest golf River in Lowell. It was a 1500- courses in the United States meter race from a floating start. Return of Ace Michelle Hollebeke ’08 to and host of numerous major Attending the invitational this events such as the U.S. Open, year were several local private Pitching Staff Sparks Softball to 2-1 Week U.S. Women’s Open, and the and public schools, including U.S. Amateur Championship. Hanover, Boston Latin, Low- On Wednesday, Andover poise in her pitching return. ing out six and walking just Although the tournament ell, Concord, Manchester Cen- By Jack Doyle finished off its busy week with Veda Eswarappa ’08 relieved three. She held the Cushing may not be as important as tral, and Great Bay. Phillipian Sports Writer a 12-1 romp of arch- rival Ex- Hollebeke for the final three lineup to just three hits and those noted above, it is the Andover dominated the eter, the first game away from innings, striking out two in one earned run in the outing. highlight of the team’s year, first race, cruising to a first- Ace Michelle Hollebeke Isham Field for the team this preserving the shutout. Boylan, the usual shortstop, especially for the Seniors. place finish, with a time of ’08, in her first game since season. The three wins and “I thought our defense came in to pitch for the sec- The team faced off against 4:44.2. Coming in second was April 9 because of a sore knee, one loss this week brought was really strong all game,” ond time this season for the eight very talented teams in Hanover with a time of 4:54.4, pitched four Andover’s record to an im- said starting second baseman final two innings, allowing perfect golfing conditions. followed closely by Boston shutout in- pressive 7-3 on the season. Alayna Garbarino ’10. “The nothing more than a leadoff Over the past few years, Latin with a time of 4:56.6. nings in her Friday’s victory over pitchers took care of most single in the 6th. the conditions at Newport Lowell trailed by 10 seconds, return to the North Hampton was score- of the work, but whenever a Offensively, Sarah Onorato have been dismal and cold. coming in fourth with a time circle last less for three and a half in- ball was put into play, we had ’11 starred, ripping four hits Nicholas Koh ’08 com- of 5:05.9. Concord and Man- So f t b a l l Friday. Hol- nings until the bottom of the the fielding to usually get the and knocking in two of An- mented on the phenomenal chester Central followed with lebeke struck fourth, when three straight out.” dover’s eight runs in the win. course conditions, “I can’t a tight race for the fifth and out nine in Andover’s domi- Andover singles by the heart The very next day, An- Captain Stephanie Clegg ’08 ever remember the course sixth spots, with times of 5:10.2 nating 9-0 win over North of the lineup brought home dover was back on the field also knocked in a run for An- being in such amazing shape. and 5:11.5 respectively. Great Hampton. the game’s first runs to bring in the opening game of a dou- dover, along with Boylan and The last two years it has been Bay rounded out the seven- On Saturday, Andover some life to the Andover bats. ble- header against Cushing. Hollebeke. foggy and rainy. By the end of boat race, finishing last with a hosted Cushing, Tabor, and The true success came Hollebeke once again started, time of 5:16.3. Exeter at Isham Field, beat- on the defensive side of the and went five innings, strik- Continued on Page B2, Column 6 Continued on Page B2, Column 3 The second race was more ing Cushing, 8-2, in the open- game, however. Andover tightly contested at the front er but dropping the second played errorless defense for BASEBALL game, 14-6, to a strong Tabor the first time this season, Continued on Page B3, Column 6 team. and Hollebeke showed great Andover Baseball Sweeps NMH; Offense Knocks in 31 Runs on Day

Co-Captain Mike Ciummei bases. Of those extra base hits, By Dave Knapp ’08 also picked up two RBIs three were home runs. Phillipian Sports Writer in the inning with a double. In addition to Santaniello, Co-Captain JR Santaniello ’08 Jack Walsh ’08 went deep for Andover 11 added three hits on the day. a three run shot, one of three Andover came out in the hits for him on the day. Mc- NMH 3 second game determined to Carthy also went deep. He was pick up the sweep. A seven- one of two players to get five Andover 20 run first inning put the game hits in the game. Catcher Geoff out of NMH’s reach. Lynch ’09 also had five hits. NMH 7 In the inning, Andover’s Farnham also padded his first four hitters combined to stats in the game, collecting Recording 26 hits on the hit for the cycle. Santaniello four hits and three RBIs. day, Andover baseball contin- led off the game with a homer- “Everyone’s really seeing ued its hot un, which was followed by a the ball well, and we’re putting streak on triple, double, and a single. good swings on the ball,” said offense, eas- Andover had an incredible Bennett Carroccio ’10. ily winning 26 hits on the day, 13 for extra both sides

S. SHeu/ THe Phillipian Ba s e b a l l of Saturday’s Maggie Law ’10 races up field with a Governor’s defender on her back. doublehead- er against NMH. Andover dominated GIRLS Lacrosse both the first game, 11-3, and the second, 20-7. The two wins bring Andover’s record to 8-1 Andover’s Five-Game Winning on the season. Preston Atteberry ’08 took the mound for Andover in Streak Snapped vs. Governor’s, 12-7 game one. He allowed just two hits in five innings, giving up By Katherine Sherrill Andover and Taft battled was about the little contribu- three runs. Glenn Stowell ’09 Phillipian Sports Writer for the first few goals. Trailing tions that every player made,” pitched two scoreless frames 4–3, Andover fought back with said Co-Captain Britney Van to close out the game. Andover 13 three goals in the end of the Valkenburg ’08. Sam Lawson The NMH baseball field first half to pull ahead 6–4. ’10 created a huge offensive didn’t include a home run Taft 9 Andover’s tenacity was tre- opportunity for Andover hus- fence. Many line drives into mendous against Taft on Sat- tling to beat out several Taft the outfield turned into extra- Governor’s 12 urday. Through its defense and defenders to a rebound. Gain- base hits. offensive possession, Andover ing possession of the ball, she In the third inning, An- Andover 7 scored six goals and only gave helped Andover resettle offen- dover hammered out eight one up in thirty-one minutes sively to go ahead 11–5. runs on seven hits, including Dana Feeny ’08 drew a in a span running from the However, Andover strug- two triples. double team as she drove to end of the first half to midway gled to maintain its momen- Ryan McCarthy ’08 started the goal, but her poise under through the second. tum to win the face off draws, the inning with a double, and pressure allowed her to find Andover responded quickly and Taft netted three goals in scored on a triple from Bobby a clear shooting lane for Sum- to Taft’s fifth goal at the seven- less than two minutes on fast Farnham ’08. Zach Fratus ’08 mer Washburn ’11 who ripped teen-minute mark in the sec- breaks. knocked in two runs with a m. DIscenza/ THe Phillipian a low bounce shot, and put An- ond half with two goals. triple of his own. Lefty J.R. Santaniello ’08 fires in a fastball. dover in the lead 9–4. “The victory against Taft Continued on Page B3, Column 4 B2 Sports The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Mid-Season Record Board GOLF VOLLEYBALL Continued from Page B1, Column 6

Team W L my round last year, I could not PA Volleyball Comes Up Short see fifty yards in front of me.” Baseball 8 1 Deerfield, undefeated, Against NMH and Andover High looked to be the strongest team in Andover’s path. Girls Crew 2 1 Andover looked for its top By Veronica Faller well stepped up to take the did not relinquish its lead. three players, Koh ’08, Ben Phillipian Sports Writer match. He served out the game NMH won the game and the Boys Crew 1 2 Ho ’11 and Wutae Lee ’10 to Despite fantastic serving with an ace to win it for An- match by a score of 30-24. break 80. by Sam Burwell ’09, Andover dover. Menelik Washington ’09 Girls Golf 2 0 Ho finished his round with Boys Vol- During game three, NMH and Brian Watson ’08, two of a career-best score of three- leyball fell and Andover tied the score the returning members of the over-par 75, just one off the short in its a total of eight times. After squad, played admirably in de- Boys Golf 4 2 lowest score of the day. game against NMH pulled ahead, Andover feat. Washington came out of Although Ho’s score was NMH, fall- was unable to catch-up. NMH the match with a team high of Girls Lacrosse 5 3 the highlight of the day, An- Vo l l e y b a l l ing 1-3. won the game 22-30. 11 kills, while Watson blocked dover’s other golfers posted Game one Andover was under pres- 12 for 14. excellent scores to give the was a nail biter, with eight ties sure to win game 4. NMH This Wednesday, Andover Boys Lacrosse 4 3 team a podium finish. over the course of the game. caught fire at the start of the hosted friendly rival Andover Lee came in with an excel- Andover was ahead 29-27 and game and pulled ahead, 10-1. High School for a rematch. Softball 7 3 lent score of 79, while Koh needed only one point to win Some spectacular playing on On Wednesday, AHS edged followed up on Lee’s smart the game. NMH, however, did the court reduced the deficit out Andover in each of the Girls Tennis 7 0 play with an 82. not allow Andover to score that to only 2 points, with Andover three games (30-26,30-27, 30- Although the Andover vital point. The NMH captain behind, 16-18. NMH, however, 22). team fought valiantly, Deer- served 4 straight points, secur- Boys Tennis 6 1 field took first place with a ing the game, 31-29. phenomenal combined score In the beginning of game Girls Track 7 0 of 303. Andover finished third two, NMH gained a strong overall. lead, jumping ahead 5-0. With The team looks to provide some skillful playing, Andover Boys Track 4 3 Deerfield with some tough managed to bring the score competition as it travels to back into its favor, giving An- Ultimate 2 2 Western Massachusetts to dover to a two-point lead at 13- take on the Newport Cham- 11. Game two was tied a total Volleyball 2 5 pions at the Crumpin-Fox of 10 times. This time, NMH Club. Andover will need each found itself in the lead with 29 of its golfers to have season- points to Andover’s 27. NMH Water Polo 5 3 best rounds in order to upset only needed one point to win Deerfield. the game, but Andover’s Bur- PA Cycling Perseveres in Frigid Conditions; Rich Destroys Field in Girls “A” Race at NMH Berol Dewdney ’09. Dewdney Matt Sternberg ’08 got tangled overall. “The highlight today By Matt Sternberg finished fifth in Girls A, fol- with an Exeter rider, but he was watching Hilary [Rich] Phillipian Sports Writer lowing a second place finish was able to recover for an 8th destroy Girls “A”. Andy Clay by Hilary Rich ’09. place finish. also showed some real grit by Andover phenom Austen The race took place just This Wednesday at K.U.A., staying in the race after his Novis ’11 crossed the line third south of Sunday River ski area Rich proved to be the stron- crash,” said Head Coach Thay- in the Boys “A” cycling race in Grafton Notch State Park. gest female rider in the field. er Zaeder. last Saturday in Grafton Notch, The cyclists wound their way On a one-third mile track, Rich The Andover cyclists next ME, highlighting a successful through narrow mountain lapped the field, winning every travel to Exeter, NH this Sat- day of racing for the team. passes as they climbed up into sprint lap in the points race. urday for a time-trial. Histori-

As the rain rolled into the the notch where the tempera- Despite a collision in Boys cally, Andover has performed m. DIscenza/ THe Phillipian mountains, a frigid Andover ture was about forty degrees. “A”, Captain Andy Clay ’08 well at the Exeter venue. Tom Lavin ’08 sets the ball for an oncoming teammate. Cycling team anticipated the In Boys A, the trio of Mike let the Andover cyclists by 1000-foot climb to the finish Discenza ’09, Andy Clay ’08 finishing seventh overall. C.J. Boys CREW softball line of the race. “From the be- and C.J. Queenan ’09 finished Queenan ’09 and Mike Dis- ginning of the race, I couldn’t 10th, 12th, and 14th respec- cenza ’09 finished right be- feel my feet or my hands,” said tively behind Novis. In Boys B, hind Clay at eighth and ninth B1 Wins First Race of Andover Season at Salisbury Falls To

By Ryan Marcelo in order to win. Phillipian Sports Writer The second boat also found Tabor success against Salisbury Andover’s first boat domi- and Brunswick on Saturday. Slow Start Puts Soft- nated opposing crews from Though they did not win so Salisbury handily, the second boat was ball in Early Deficit School and able to beat the Brunswick Brunswick crew by 4.3 seconds, a bit over Continued from Page B1, Column 5 this past a boat length. In the second game of weekend. Hanson Causbie ’08, the the double header, Andover Bo y s Cr e w With a time six seat on the second boat, squared off with a Tabor team of 4:37.1, An- shared his views on the race, that possessed a 6-1 record dover won by an impressive “We had a bit of a rough start, coming into the contest. margin of 12.7 seconds. The but the fact that we were able Andover, already short on- victory brings the first boat’s to win a solid victory demon- pitching due to Hollebeke’s record to 6-2 and marks its strates Andover’s true deter- injury, seemed to run out of only first place finish of the mination to win.” gas in its third game in just season thus far. In the first twenty strokes two days. m. DIscenza/ THe Phillipian Caitlin Feeney ’08 reaches back to fire a pass over her Loomis defender. Off the start, all crews faced of the race, Andover and Eswarappa got the start for adverse wind conditions. Yet Brunswick clashed oars due to Andover, but the team fell be- Water Polo despite a 10-12 mph headwind aggressive steering and harsh hind, 11-1, after three innings in the first 750 meters of the winds. The two boats quickly of play. race, the first boat maintained separated and Andover began Hollebeke provided much its composure and rowed long to pull away. of the offense for Andover, Despite 11-7 Loss to Top-Ranked and strong, handling the con- Throughout the race, An- rocketing two home runs for ditions much better than its dover was able to inch away three RBIs. Loomis, PA Remains 3rd in League opposition. from Brunswick and at one The effort wasn’t enough, Kyle Rogers ’09, the four point was winning by open unfortunately, as Andover seat on the first boat, com- water. couldn’t overcome the early By Eliza Dewey to Andover on Saturday. Al- gether smoothly and suffi- mented on the race, “Our start The Brunswick crew deficit and fell, 14-6. Phillipian Sports Writer though Loomis kept racking ciently,” said Captain Caitlin felt sloppy because of the charged forward in the last Wednesday’s away game up the points, “it felt Andover’s Feeney ’08. strong headwind. However, 500 meters and walked ¼ of a was Andover’s fourth of the Limited scoring opportu- strong defense and overall Wednesday’s game against we took a definitive lead dur- boat length on Andover. week, but the team showed no nities proved costly against pressure, therefore keeping its Suffield, started out very slow- ing our move, but we didn’t Charlie Walters ’10, the two signs of slowing down. Loomis Chaf- first string players in the pool ly. “Once we got moving our capitalize on it during the last seat on the second boat, said, Hollebeke got the start, fee. Andover for the entire game,” said Cap- true techniques and talents half of the race.” “Although we were victorious, easily shutting down the over- Girls Water tain Kimberley Chang ’08. began to shine though,” Jill Conor May ’09, the six seat we need to work on building matched Exeter squad, 12-1. Polo’s four The biggest difference be- Kozloff ’09 said. on the first boat, agreed, “We a lead throughout a race, not “It felt good to go out there game win- tween the two teams was the Captain Chang added “Our felt good during the first half just maintaining one.” and pick up the win against Wa t e r p o l o ning streak number of shooting attempts. fast breaks were awesome! of the race, but we still have to Tomorrow, both boats will Exeter,” said Riley Gardner came to a Loomis attempted over twenty Those are what mainly helped improve the second. Over the be facing perennial power- ’10. halt against the top-ranked shots. Captain Chang emerged us in racking up the score.” next few weeks, our primary house, St. Paul’s School in “We played a great game team win an 7-11 loss. But with four out of the seven goals The team also noted that goal is to continue picking up Concord, NH. all around, in basically every Andover bounced back in its on Saturday, retaining her rep- pressure passing and “man- speed.” This will present the An- aspect, and every player con- game against Suffield with an utation as leading scorer. up” offensive needs improve- Though the early lead was dover Boys Crew team with tributed for the win, added 11-6 win. “Despite the score, we ment. enough to beat Salisbury and the opportunity to determine Gardner”. The team’s second home played very well as a team. Andover’s next game is this Brunswick, Andover’s first the current speed of their fast Andover looks to build its game, the Loomis-Andover With the support of the fans, Saturday at Deerfield. It will boat will have to bring its row- rivals. It will be an excellent momentum regained, since match was a big one. Loomis, Ms. Efinger and the entire be a double-header against ing to a whole new level by preview of things to come at Hollebeke’s return, when it currently ranked first in the team, we were able to build Deerfield and Choate. Interschols in several weeks Interschols in May. hosts Worcester Saturday. league, brought its full force our confidence and work to- May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Sports B3 Boys tennis Jack Walsh ’08 Athlete of the Week Tennis Snags 9th Place Finish at Baseball Jack Walsh ’08 was one of many key con- ence, especially when the team is such a great National Tournament in Maryland tributors in Andover’s explosive offense this group of guys. There really are no negative ef- past week. Walsh recorded a three-hit game vs. fects to coming here as a three sport athlete. I tied the match. Chan deliv- player in his second match NMH, including a three-run home-run. just see it as another way to keep playing the By Maggie Law ered an outstanding perfor- after receiving a bye for the sports I love for one more Phillipian Sports Writer mance, channeling his energy first. His opponent combined Q: Have there been any influenc- year. into great plays and simply a great serve-and-volley style es in your life that have really af- Q: Who is your favor- Andrew Chan ’08 once outworking his opponent. with consistent strokes, and fected your game on the diamond? ite player to watch play on again came through with He won the third and final unfortunately Meyer suffered A: My coach from North Read- the team? the decid- set 6-3, making several key a tough loss in straight sets. ing High. His name is Frank Carey, A: I would have to say ing win for volleys and overheads to put He then went on to win and he has been coaching baseball that my favorite play- Andover on away the match. every one of his remaining for 41 years there. He made me into ers to watch are Bobby Wednesday, This past weekend the matches, eventually finishing the player that I am today. He’s Farnham ’08 and Ryan securing the Boys Tennis team traveled to fifth overall in the tourna- basically taught me everything in- McCarthy ’08. Bobby in Bo y s Te n n i s 4-3 win over Maryland to play in the New ment. cluding technique and strategies the field is so much fun Deerfield. England Mid-Atlantic tourna- Captain Jebsen played sev- at the plate and on the field. Also, to watch cause of how The win extended the team’s ment. Andover was one of 16 eral talented opponents in the he contributed to my work ethic. he plays the game. And winning streak to five. competitive teams, including tournament. Breaking both of He’s one of those guys that says, then McCarthy is great to At number one singles, teams from New England as his racquets early on, he was “You cut corners on the field, you S. Sheu/ THe Phillipian watch at the plate. Any- Trey Meyer ’09 played impec- well as teams from the Mary- at a great disadvantage. He cut corners in life.” time he makes contact, he always crushes the cably against his Deerfield op- land and New York areas. lost 6-4 in his first set and 6-3 Q: Do you see any differences in the type of ball into the outfield. ponent, winning 6-1, 6-3 and Playing at the McDonogh in the second. ball you played at North Reading compared to Q: How does it feel to come into the athletic adding a point to the score School in Maryland, Andover Chan had a great tourna- Andover? program at Andover knowing you’re just going for Andover. Captain Foster met fierce competition and ment this weekend, placing A: In terms of the level of competition, I to be here for one year? Jebsen ’08, playing at number still managed to have several fourth in the third singles would say that playing at both schools I have A: For me, it doesn’t change anything at all. two, won in straight sets with players place in their respec- bracket and keeping the mo- faced some pretty strong competition. The big- I didn’t come in here thinking I was going to scores of 6-3 and 6-1. tive brackets. mentum going for the An- gest difference in playing for both teams has goof around in any of my sports. It has really The number four, five and The NEMA tournament dover team. been the skill levels of each of the guys on the enhanced my experience playing with such a six seeds all suffered losses, was divided into a first singles In doubles, Andover’s first teams. At Andover, I have found that every sin- great group of guys on each team. allowing Deerfield to tie the draw, second singles draw pair won two matches and gle person on our team has an extremely high Q: What are your plans for college? score up 3-3. and third singles draw. There lost two matches, keeping an skill level. A: Next year I plan to attend Skidmore. I In the number three spot, were also first and second even record for the tourna- Q: As a soccer and hockey player as well, do am going to be playing hockey there, which I Chan won his first set 6-4 draws for the doubles teams. ment. The second doubles you think that being a tri-varsity PG has affect- consider to be my main sport. I would love to against a mentally tough and Meyer was placed as the pair faced tough competition, ed your experience at Andover? keep playing three sports, but I think that play- also irritating opponent. He number one seed in the sin- winning only one match and A: As a tri-varsity athlete, you get to meet a ing more than one sport a year in college would went on to lose the second set gles draw due to his national losing two. lot of different people in each of your sports. be too much. 2-6. ranking and NEPSITT victory The team finished the The relationships that people can build on a It all came down to the last year. He faced an incred- weekend in ninth place over- team are awesome. Going through the season By Spencer Macquarrie third set after his opponent ibly skilled and aggressive all. together can really give all the guys an experi- Phillipian Sports Writer

Boys LAcrosse Girls Lacrosse GIRLS CREW

Continued from Page B1, Column 3 win the draws, and Governor’s Continued from Page B1, Column 1 Although Andover came came roaring back, winning of the pack, though Andover Blue Lacrosse Takes Down back to turn the game in its the ball and taking advantage once again came out on top of favor, scoring two more goals, of fast breaks to score five the six-boat field. Andover’s Tenacious Tabor Squad, 8-5 Taft was able to score its ninth quick goals. winning time came in at a re- goal in the last few seconds of Andover tied the game at spectable 4:43.6. Hanover fin- ally led to goals by Deerfield. “I think that the hit on Ea- the game. six with less than a minute ished second again, crossing By Spencer Macquarrie Overall, Deerfield beat An- mon really lit a fire under us. It The game ended in An- into the second half, and even the line at 4:46.2, three sec- Phillipian Sports Writer dover in the second half 8-2. fired all of us up and motivated dover’s favor with a 13–9 vic- though Kaitlin Gaiss ’09 made onds behind Andover. Boston Andover’s offense was led the team to work harder,” said tory, pushing the squad’s sea- numerous tremendous saves, Latin trailed the two leaders Off a feed from Jack Walker by Spencer Macquarrie ’10 Reid Mosquera ’09. son record to 5-2. Governor’s who responded by more than 12 seconds, fin- ’09, Co-Cap- with three goals and Walker Out of the huddle, Andover Andover played every as- with two more quick goals to ishing with a time of 4:58.4. tain John ’09 with one goal and two as- began to take control of the pect of its game well, with put Andover behind at 8–6. Concord finished in fourth Bukawyn sists. However, the unit failed game. A goal from Macquarrie Alissa Fromkin ’09, Emily At the 7:30 mark, Andover with a time of 5:02.3, followed ’08 jumped to keep consistent possession ’10 gave Andover a lead going Little ’09, Kaitlyn McInnis ’09, narrowed the gap to 8–7, but by Lowell with a time of 5:11.3. and buried of the ball, causing the defense into the half, and right out of Washburn and Feeny leading Governor’s pulled away for a Manchester rounded out the Bo y s La c r o s s e what turned to become tired. half-time, Chris Kreider ’10 the attack. 12–7 victory. field with a time of 5:28.3. out to be the Andover next traveled to netted an unassisted goal. On Wednesday, Governors’ “Governor’s tight pressure Andover showed its depth final goal of Andover’s first Tabor to play a notoriously In the fourth quarter, Walk- undefeated team brought An- kept us from catching and with its races in the last two road win of the season against very physical squad. er ’09 took it upon himself to dover’s five-game winning throwing as well as we have in boats. In the Girls third boat Tabor Academy this past Andover started off the score two goals in a row and streak to a close by a final of other games,” said Co-Captain race, Andover came in second Wednesday. game by going down 1-0 three then recorded an assist to Bu- 12–7. Lindsey Weiner ’08. in a very tightly contested race On Saturday, Andover trav- minutes into the game. A goal kawyn ’08. Andover started the game Andover looks to start an- with a time of 5:07.2, losing by eled west to face Deerfield from Walker ’09 leveled the The game ended with An- with a 5–1 lead, halfway other winning streak against just one second to Hanover. Academy. Deerfield has been score. dover on top 8-5. through the first half. How- Tabor at home on Saturday. Andover was second in the undefeated for the past two The second quarter opened ever, Andover struggled to fourth boat race with 5:23.8. years and remains one of the up with a goal from Will Walk- top 20 teams in the nation. er ’11 to tie the score up. From Unfortunately, Andover suc- there, both teams played gritty Undefeated Girls Tennis Dominates Exeter; cumbed to the powerful of- lacrosse as the ball went up fense and gritty defense of and down the field constantly Deerfield, falling by a final of with neither team being able Ortega ’08 Cruises to Two Singles Victories 12-5. In the first half, Andover to keep lengthy possession. set 6-2. her to hit consistently strong Van Sluytman and Brown stayed in the game, coming Unfortunately, Eamon He- By Meghan Farquhar At the number three singles shots and win her second set played number two doubles into halftime trailing by just garty ’08 had to come out of Phillipian Sports Writer position, Belinda Ortega ’08 6-1. against BB&N and aced their one goal. However, Andover the game midway through the was able to pull out 6-3 win Co-captain Maggie Ma- opponent 8-0. Tori Wilmarth became tired and committed second quarter after a blind- in her first set. She continued ffione ’08 aced her singles op- ’09 and Stacia Vladimirova ’11 many penalties, which eventu- sided hit. Andover 11 to use her strong forehand ponent 6-0, 6-0. ended the match with an ex- strokes and powerful serve to Ortega also aced her op- cellently played set, winning Exeter 4 take her second set 6-3. Orte- ponent at the number three 8-1. Track ga responded in the decisive singles position. Brown and Andover will look to con- Andover 11 third set, winning 6-3. Kelly, again playing number tinue its winning ways on Brown played at the num- four and five singles, each Wednesday against Milton BB&N 2 ber four singles position and contributed two more wins to Academy. Andover vs. Milton & NMH Eliza Flynn ’10 and co- started out her first set with Andover’s victory. 4/26/08 captain Lauren Wilmarth ’09 an early deficit. She showed Top Andover Girls Finishes: narrowly de- the same grit in her final set, Event Athlete Place Result feated their which she won 6-4. Triple Jump Alexis Dawkins ’10 1st 34’7” Exeter op- Van Sluytman fought hard 1500 Abby Levene ’09 1st 4:51.27 ponents by all the way through her match High Jump Melissa Ferrari ’10 1st 5’ a narrow and pulled out two impressive 100 Hurdles Annie McDonough ’09 2nd 16.42 Gi r l s Te n n i s Long Jump Oriekose Idah ’11 4th 13’7” margin at wins, 6-1 each. Elizabeth Kelly 400 Alexis Dawkins ’10 2nd 1:01.12 the number ’11 also dominated both of her 100 Capt. Simone Hill ’08 2nd 12.73 one doubles position. Captain sets as she swept her first 6-0 Shot Put Hailee Minor ’08 1st 32’11.5” Wilmarth’s and Flynn’s domi- and her second 6-4. Pole Vault Colleen Flanagan ’10 1st 7’6” nant play set the tone for the “Exeter is a big win for us Javelin Sadiqa Farrow ’09 2nd 90’5” rest of the match, as Andover because they’re traditionally Discus Hailee Minor ’08 1st 89’6” overpowered Exeter 11-4. a really good team,” Wilmarth 800 Anna Feng ’10 1st 2:17.69 With excellent teamwork, commented. Top Andover Boys Finishes: Carolyn Brown ’09 and Ari- Andover remained unde- Event Athlete Place Result anna Van Sluytman ’08 domi- feated, taking down BB&N Triple Jump Frank Pinto ’08 2nd 39’7.5” nated their match at the num- last Friday. Although BB&N’s 1500 Charlie Ganner ’10 1st 4:11.23 ber three doubles position. standout player took both sets High Jump Stefan Gordon ’09 3rd 5’10” Andover entered the singles at the number one singles po- Long Jump Chad Hollis ’08 2nd 20’4.5” round with a 2-1 lead. sition, Andover was able to 400 Chad Hollis ’08 1st 50:63 Flynn certainly played im- win every other set, giving 100 Capt. Lou Tejada ’08 1st 11.59 pressively during her match Andover an impressive 11-2 Shot Put Mike Bernieri ’10 3rd 40’8” at the number one singles po- victory. Pole Vault Charlie Dong ’09 1st 9’6” sition. Although she fell short Wilmarth won her first Javelin Tyler Bond ’10 1st 140’2” Discus Mike Bernieri ’10 2nd 108’9” in her first set losing 5-7, she set at the number two singles came back with power and position 6-4. Her smart deci- m. DIscenza/ THe Phillipian was driven to win her second sions on the court enabled Stacia Vladimirova ’11 drives through a backhand shot. B4 Features The Phillipian May 2, 2008 Think Fast! 11 Plays in 22 Minutes: A Preview For $200

Rachel Coleman

Music pulsed, lights flashed and neurons fired as students entered Kemper Auditorium for the psyche- delic, fast-paced and unpredictable game that is Think Fast. Last Satur- day night, students were forced to sing, dance, make animal noises and answer random questions within a two second time period in an at- tempt to win a cash prize of $200 at this game show event. To narrow down the competition from the masses that attended, ev- eryone first joined a team of four or more and received an electronic re- mote. Team names assigned by re- mote included “Blobbs,” “Dr. Evil” and “Divas.” This remote, given to the leader of each team, allowed each group to answer the initial multiple-choice questions before the game began. A total of three rounds of ques- tions were fired at students. Rang- L. Shaffer/The Phillipian ing from film to music, planetari- From left, Hannah Turk ’09, Ali Flanders ’09, Eli Grober ’09, Jake Romanow ’10 and Sosha Sullivan ’11 rehearse in the theatre classroom. ums and sports, every question was both shown on the screen and read aloud by the emcee and creator of The 11 plays, each about two manow is sure to have Democrats around the theatre classroom stage Think Fast, Jason Long. The win- Patrick Brady minutes long, lie in no particular in the crowd giggling at his spot-on and other memorable moments of ners from the first two rounds were genre of theatre. The Neo-Futur- George W. Bush impersonation. the rehearsal. Overall, “Too Much guaranteed a spot in the final prize ists describe themselves as a “liv- That is only a small sample of Light Makes the Baby Go Blind” is a round. Drama Lab patrons seeking an ing newspaper collage of the comic what audience members of “Too delightful production that is bound entirely unique theatrical expe- and tragic, the political and per- Much Light…” will see Friday to impress, entertain and provoke rience need look no further than sonal, and the visceral and experi- night. Be prepared for anything. thought from the audience—not to “Simply by walking onstage, “Too Much Light Makes The Baby mental.” Expect to laugh, cry and even par- mention have them laughing all the Hunckler earned 900 out of Go Blind,” a 30-minute cycle of 11 Each play is unique; some spoof ticipate in this outrageously origi- way home. the 1000 points needed to win. short plays scheduled to be per- on everyday activities like ordering nal and wonderfully presented the- “I think it’s going to be a really formed this Friday evening in the off a menu in a restaurant, while atrical roller coaster. As I left the fun show. I totally encourage ev- The last question was: “What theatre classroom. Written by an others are more experimental and rehearsal on Sunday night, I found eryone to come; it won’t be bor- is the most common car color experimental theatre troupe based speak to the audience directly. that I was late for sign-in myself ing,” said Shaffer. “I’m in stitches in the United States?” out of Chicago called The Neo- Still others are just good, old- and had a whole night’s worth the whole rehearsal and leave in a Futurists, “Too Much Light…” is fashioned comedies. of homework ahead of me—but I better mood then I came in with. an exciting and daring piece when When I sat in on a rehearsal didn’t care. I was still remember- I think the audience will feel the Although those two previous compared to typical Drama Lab last Sunday evening, I noticed an ing Grober and Romanow tumbling same.” winners were assured their posi- productions. indescribable energy in the room. tion onstage regardless of answer- “I chose this show because I was Although it was late on a Sunday ing correctly, Long, aided by the ready for a new challenge,” wrote night and the cast members surely audience, chose random people to Director Lily Shaffer ’10. “This is had homework or other obligations fill the two remaining spots during the fifth show I’ve directed and I to attend to, they seemed complete- the third and final round. Should wanted to try something new.” ly happy to be rehearsing. When one of the second two people an- “The single unifying element Shaffer asked her cast to stay past swer a question incorrectly, they of these plays is that they are 8:00 sign-in, nobody hesitated a bit would lose their place onstage, and performed from a perspective of to call house counselors or parents the next randomly chosen person absolute honesty,” says The Neo- to make arrangements. inherited their points. Futurists’ website, and the Drama I couldn’t blame them – I was Carolyn Whittingham ’11, who Lab crowd will be surprised when having a great time myself. Pro- was called upon to make animal Eli Grober ’09, Ali Flanders ’09, ducer Lucas McMahon ’08 kept noises for her spot onstage, said, Sosha Sullivan ’11, Jake Romanow all of us in hysterics with his in- “Getting embarrassed in front of a ’10 and Hannah Turk ’09 enter the genious choreography for a fight crowd was exciting and exhilarat- stage addressing the audience not sequence in one of the plays; Han- ing.” as characters, but as themselves. In nah Turk plays an emotional wife Think Fast is advertised as a fact, for some of the plays, actors of a superhero with such commit- take their own names instead of game in which anyone can win up ment that I truly believed that she L. Shaffer/The Phillipian until the last second. Will Hunckler character names. was that housewife; and Jake Ro- Actors Romanow and Sullivan take direction from Lily Shaffer ’10. ’08 certainly proved that claim by leading his team, “The Pioneers,” to victory on the last question. Sim- ply by walking onstage, Hunckler Testing The Limits of Patriarchal Photography earned 900 out of the 1000 points needed to win. When he correctly Audrey Adu-Appiah them. raphy lesson. The two quickly became friends, answered the last question, “What Harrigan hooked the artistically minded were eventually the godparents to each other’s is the most common car color in the diners in Abbot Hall with familiar places and children, and both named their children after For Peg Harrigan, Instructor in Art at Phil- faces. In her presentation, she showed pictures the other in the course of their 30-year friend- United States?” with “White,” the lips Academy, the generosity of the William R. of Lacock Abbey as featured in the first two ship. Talbot met Herschel at a lens maker’s stu- game was over. While the rest of the Kenan Charitable Trust meant spending the Harry Potter films, as well as a photo of a statue dio in Gemany, where their respective interests crowd erupted in cheers, Hunckler summer on the Isle of Wright and Lacock Abbey of Jimi Hendrix on the Isle of Wright. Harri- of photography and astronomy collided. and his two other teammates, Jane in England. There, Harrigan was busy research- gan continued with photographs of the Talbot The circle of friends that included Cameron, Shin ’08 and Murphy Temple ’08, ing the lives and artistic contributions of Julia Museum where she observed the specimens Talbot, and Herschel tested the borders of what were given the $200. Margaret Cameron, William Henry Fox Talbot collected by Talbot, who was also interested was commonly accepted. Cameron pushed the and Sir John Frederick William Herschel, and Although Think Fast may be in botany, as well as photographs of Cameron’s envelope as a woman in the male-dominated her presentation on the experience this past darkroom and Herschel’s telescopes. world of photography and persevered neverthe- a highlight of Phillips Academy Monday, April 28 at the School Room in Abbot Julia Margaret Cameron, who lived pri- less; both Herschel and Talbot wrote essays on events, Long said, “We rarely do Hall examined the relationship between the marily in India, also had a house on the Isle reforming education to provide greater access high schools.” three. Cameron was a forward-thinking female of Wright where she took the majority of her to women. This close-knit company is the photographer, Talbot the inventor of an early photographs. She was Alfred Lord Tennyson’s number one college act in America, form of photography and Herschel an aspiring neighbor and Virginia Woolf’s great-aunt. Cam- and Phillips Academy is fortunate astronomer who served as a conduit between eron picked up photography during the last 11 “It was the traditional photog- enough to have been a venue not years of her life, but her impact on the artistic raphers who called themselves once, but twice. While Think Fast world was significant. Cameron’s explorations professionals who said [Julia in close-cropped photography and famous por- originally came here solely for ori- traits of figures such as Charles Darwin and Margaret Cameron’s work] was entation, Kennan Daniel said, “Ms. Robert Browning showed how a subject’s per- messy.” Effinger was primarily involved in sonality could be captured on film. -Peg Harrigan bringing Think Fast to Andover a “It was the traditional photographers who second time so everyone, not just called themselves professionals who said she the new students, could enjoy it.” was messy,” said Harrigan of Cameron’s critics, Harrigan’s presentation explored the influ- The students certainly did en- many of whom were shocked by a woman gain- ences that Sir John Herschel had on both art- ing prominence in what was then a man’s field. ists and photography as a whole. “Certainly, I joy this interactive game; so much, William Henry Fox Talbot was fascinated by wanted to highlight… a correspondence, a col- in fact, that Long would periodi- his quest to find a use for the camera obscura, laboration between the three characters, with cally have to quiet the crowd down and while he discovered this after Daguerre in- the scientist, Herschel, being the connection.” in order to hear answers from the vented the daguerreotype, his callotype was the She continued: “I wondered: What did Her- people onstage. Regardless of the basis of most 19th- and 20th-century photogra- schel get out of the deal? … I found out that he fierce competition, however, seeing phy. was satisfied with the contribution to society, to peers and friends being put on the “Conceptually, Talbot was probably ahead of a greater pool of knowledge.” spot and generally embarrassed was his time in a lot of ways,” said Harrigan. Students who attended the presentation The connecting link, Sir John Herschel, came away with a deeper sense of the history pure entertainment. grew up in a famous household. His father was of photography and great examples of forward Students’ love of Think Fast has best known for his discovery of Uranus and was thinking. not disappeared; “I would come King George III’s royal astronomer. His aunt, Lucas MacMahon ’08, a student in one of back next year,” said Dan Austin ’10. Caroline Herschel, played a prominent role in Harrigan’s photography classes, said, “We No longer just a fond memory from these discoveries. Sir John Herschel continued looked at some of the images of Cameron and orientation, Think Fast held its own his father’s successful telescope-manufacturing Talbot and Herschel in class. I was intrigued to against the lively brains of Phillips business, named several moons of Uranus and find out more about how their social partner- Saturn, and developed the photographic con- ship yielded some of the greatest photography.” Academy students and will hopeful- cepts of fixer as well as positives and negatives. “Julia Margaret Cameron [and William ly return again next year for anoth- After the preliminary slides, Harrigan fo- Talbot]’s passion for photography and art… is a er resounding challenge and more cused on the serendipitous connections between good example of a successful person,” said Har- hilarious fun on a Saturday night. Courtesy of Peg Harrigan Cameron, Talbot and Herschel. Cameron met rigan. She added: “You might say the same thing Instructor in Photography Peg Harrigan stud- Herschel by chance at the Cape of Good Hope, about Herschel too.” ied photography this past summer in England. where Herschel gave Cameron her first photog- May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Features B5 Issue No. 1

10¢

THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN!

Cover Art By: Danica Mitchell ’09

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1938 1939 1962 Superman, an 1978 Bruce Wayne a.k.a. alien baby from Peter Parker, 2008 Batman is arrested Dr. Bruce Banner 1993 Krypton, arrives an avid science Superheroes for disturbing is exposed to Wolverine on Earth for the geek, is bitten The Thing, a in the the peace. He is green gamma picks his first time. He is by a radioactive member of the declared medically rays and nose, resulting Real World: discovered by spider. The bitten Fantastic 4, insane and is transforms into in a trip to A Historical the Kent family, area turns white starts eroding transferred to the the Hulk. A week the mutant Timeline but, fearing an and Parker is from natural Arkham Mental later, he dies emergency alien invasion, hospitalized and weathering Asylum for from radiation room. they throw him treated for venom thinking that poisoning. into the nearest poisoning. he’s a bat. dumpster. —Lawrence Dai B6 Features The Phillipian May 2, 2008 The League of Mediocrity Introducing the newest superhero team on the block—THE LEAGUE OF MEDIOCRITY. With their powers combined, they have the power to kind of save people and combat the many inconveniences of this world. Now, let us introduce you to the least impressive crime fighting gang that ever lived.

B.Qiu/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n CAPTAIN OBVIOUS “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” children all over the world today mutter sarcastically to their friends and parents. Although sass

cannot be tolerated and they are beaten senseless with paddles, the B.Qiu/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n legend of the once great Captain lives on regardless. Standing over 5 feet 10 inches tall, Klaus Truck was but a OZONEMAN bumbling, unassuming Zamboni Man by the light of day. But when dusk came and the filthier denizens of Tacoma, WA flooded the Unlike other superheroes, Ozoneman walks along the streets, Klaus transformed into a criminal’s worst nightmare. sidewalk among the common folk. His appearance is average He was just a boy when a tragic ice cream accident left him both and ordinary in every aspect, save for a bright red spandex suit a gimpy right arm and an uncanny ability to state painfully evident with a big yellow “O” insignia emblazoned on his chest. He things. Life was never the same for Klaus, until one fateful evening, walks confidently, then pauses for a second and sniffs the air. at his 18th birthday party, he saw an old woman get mugged. “It’s He thrusts his hands outward and a hissing noise Presenting a terrible thing for that old lady to get robbed,” Klaus mused while Ozoneman, the greatest releaser of gasses since Jabba the Hutt! eating his cake, and a hero was a born. The Cap’n dressed in a light blue jumpsuit adorned with both a giant purple “CO” in the middle and the phrase “This Suit Makes Catchphrase Me Look Fruity” on the back. He had many flaws, including, but You’re about to enter the O-zone!” not limited to, his fear of large animals, heights and foreigners. “ He was going prematurely grey, but hid it with a cleverly placed bandana that gave him the added bonus of looking cool to particular Ozoneman in Action demographics. Citizen #1: Yo dude, what are you doing? Catchphrases Ozoneman: Why just saving the earth from global warming of “Wow, it’s such a nice day out!” course. You see, I’m releasing ozone gas into the air. “Put down that heroin, you might become addicted!” “Dogs are not literate!” Citizen #1: (starts violently coughing) What the heck, man? Stop! Stop! You’re choking me! Captain Obvious in Action D.Mitchell/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n FEATURESMAN Ozoneman: I apologize for any inconveniences my heroics have Setting: Two burly, hooded men are robbing a bank at gunpoint. A dozen inadvertently caused, but if your well-being must be sacrificed or so civilians lie on the floor scattered around the bank with their hands Every superhero team needs a fearless leader. Unfortunately, for the betterment of the world, so be it. I’m just doing my part on their head. The teller is terrified, and on the verge of opening the safe. for the League of Mediocrity, that leader is Featuresman. With in protecting the Earth from harmful UV rays. Enter Captain Obvious. humble beginnings as a mild-mannered Features Editor, Marty Captain Obvious: Let’s not go doing anything we’re going to regret. Blumenfeld ’76 soon climbed the ladder of success and became the Citizen #2: Wait… what? I’m pretty sure ozone is bad for the CEO of Blumenfeld Devices, Inc. But his career as the head of a air. Robber #1: Who the hell are you? fake corporation did not last long. The world didn’t know it yet, but Marty Blumenfeld ’76 was destined for more. One day, after taking a Ozoneman: Actually, my misinformed friend, ozone gas is the Captain Obvious: Me? Why I’m Captain Obvious. And what you are morning swim in his personal vat of toxic waste, Blumenfeld found reason your flesh doesn’t burn every time you step outside. You doing is against the law. see, there’s this thing called ozone layer, and it— himself with leukemia. But little did he know, this leukemia made Robber #1: (Looks at gun, looks at partner) Yeah… but what are you him stronger. Citizen #2: Yeah, yeah, I know what the ozone layer is, idiot. gonna do about it anyway? Along with the standard, everyday superpowers of flight and But ground-level ozone is a dangerous pollutant. It’s bad for super-strength, Blumenfeld also gained the lesser-known abilities our lungs, you see. We breathe it in and we die. You’re killing Captain Obvious: I’m here to thwart you. of sexual innuendo and Pete-vision. With his newfound powers, people with your gas. Blumenfeld donned a Superman costume purchased at Target and Robber #2: (to Robber #1) Come on Glen, we don’t have time for this. (Points gun at teller) Now open the safe and make it quick. photoshopped the “S” logo into an “F.” Citizen #1: I’ve heard that one before.

Captain Obvious: Woah, woah, woah, watch where you’re pointing Catchphrase Citizen #2: Nice! that gun. That thing could really hurt someone if used properly, “Hey-oooo!” possibly even intimidate someone into doing something you want The two citizens high five each other. them to do out of fear for their life. Featuresman in Action Ozoneman: What? That can’t be! The ozone layer! My fifth Robber #1: Will you shut up? (To teller) Do you know this idiot? (She Little Girl: Hey Tommy, Do you want to go play house with me grade science textbook! It said ozone was good! I’ve got to shakes her head) under the swing set? patch up those holes! Captain Obvious: Now listen here, criminal. I know why you’re Little Boy: Sure thing, Sally! I love playing house! doing this. Robbing a bank means that you will have more money that Citizen #2: Yeah, in the stratosphere. Not here. you have now, allowing you access to items and services that were Featuresman: How’s about you let me play house under your swing previously unattainable. But if you are caught in this act by the police, set. Hey-oooo! Citizen #1: Maybe you can fly up there or something like that? you will go to jail. You know, put your powers to actual use? Little Boy: I don’t get it. Robber #2: Wow, you’ve attained some sort of unique glance into Ozoneman: But… I can’t fly. My only superpower is ozone Featuresman: I’m not surprised. Oh hey, here’s Pete. Pete will know my psyche, nay, my very soul. I realize now that this life of evil I’ve emission. committed myself to is not the only path, but merely a manifestation what I’m talking about. Yo Pete! Under your swing set? Get it? of my rough childhood, especially the lack in development of my secondary sex characteristics. Pete: Hahaha, Featuresman. You and your over-the-top sexual Citizen #2: Well a lot of good that does. innuendo. Captain Obvious: It’s all in a day’s work, good sir. Citizen #1: You know what? Just take it easy from now on. Little Girl: Hey mister Featuresman! Who are you talking to? Leave the environment-saving to Al Gore. He’s got a Nobel Robber #2: (Breaks out laughing) Oh, man. That is… that is priceless. Prize and an Oscar, you know. I almost held it in, but oh, god. Stop bothering us (unloads 14 rounds Featuresman: What do you mean “who am I talking to?’ Can’t you see him right in front of me? It’s Pete! into Captain Obvious’ chest, leading to a massive loss of blood, and Ozoneman: Pssfth… Al Gore… Sure, he’s great and all, but eventually, death) Little Girl: I don’t see anyone there. what’s he done for us lately? Now give us the money, lady. Robber #1: Featuresman: Stupid little girl. —Lawrence Dai —Alex Moss —Lawrence Dai

UN-CREASING GIRL She can get rid of creases in any paper, anywhere and anytime. Have a form to turn, in but your little brother stepped on it? Got a crease in your new jeans and you want to wear them to English class tomorrow to impress Johnny? Did you leave some homework in your backpack and now it’s folded beyond repair? Fret no longer, for Un-Creasing Girl is there! She’ll just touch your crease-ridden forms, homework or lottery tickets and before you know it, they’ll look like they were just printed. Un-Creasing Girl in Action

Small Child: Oh, drat! My essay is due in two minutes and I just Un-Creasing Girl climbs out from under the man’s bed with a sat on it and now it’s folded in half! sheepish grin on her face.

Un-Creasing Girl: Oh, child, don’t be sad. Here, let me take a Un-Creasing Girl: Don’t you worry, young man! Un-Creasing look. Girl is here to help!

Un-Creasing Girl touches the essay and it immediately unfolds, Man: What the #$%@?! Who the #$%@ are you!? looking brand-new and freshly printed. Un-Creasing Girl: I’m Un-Creasing Girl, silly! Small Child: Thanks, Un-Creasing Girl! Man: You’re going to jail for trespassing is what you are!

Un-Creasing Girl: Don’t mention it! All in the name of democracy, The man picks up a nearby phone and dials 911 as fast as he possibly child! Don’t you forget that! can.

Meanwhile, in a crease-filled apartment located halfway across the Un-Creasing Girl: Honey, what are you doing? world, a man peers into his closet, in search of a necktie to wear to his nephew’s bar mitzvah. Man: You call me a pet name one more time and I’ll crease your face worse than your back fat when you sit down. Man: Oh no! My new tie! I just bought it and then suddenly had the urge to twist it sharply and crease it in many places! Now I have to go to a meeting and I don’t have any smooth ties to wear! — Eli Grober B.Qiu/ Th e Ph i l l i p i a n May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Features B7

There is only one adjective that makes the hair of Featuresman’s bulging biceps stand on end— malfeasance. THE LEGION OF MALFEASANCE could be described by such an adjective. With villainous catchphrases and a lack of a sense of humor, this group of single old men and monsters is ready to take over the world. They just have no idea how to do it.

Behold: the greatest group of evil-doers is not actually that great. B.Qiu/ T e h P i l l i h p n a i

SPOILSPORT SpoilSport attacks the very essence of life—milk. Standing at a mere three feet in height, he’s curdled and proud of it. If you’re not careful, your milk will go bad, and no infant will ever be able to enjoy his artificial milk. B.Qiu/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n

Catchphrase THE MOSQUITO “Lactate on this!” Recent poll results show that mosquitoes are, hands down, the most useless existing organism. To my knowledge, they have no SpoilSport in Action real purpose in the ecosystem. Their only role is to bite me in hard to scratch places, like between my fingers or behind my ears. But SpoilSport works his magic on a jug of milk in the kitchen of wait, this is supposed to be told by a detached 3rd person narrator. In my mind, his name is Carl. an innocent, unassuming family. Never in all the land was a villain more feared than The Mos- quito. Lulling his victims into a false sense of security with his ri- Boy: Hey, ma? Would you bring us some milk for these here diculous outfit, he then committed acts full of such lunacy and de- pancakes? My mouth is drier ’n a dead camel in the desert. pravity that it would be irresponsible to describe them here. The Mosquito resembled his namesake, only an engorged one. Ma: Be right there, sweetheart. His sunglasses were his trademark, which he wore so as to avoid being attracted to the ever-enticing lights that would spell his Ma hands Boy milk. death. He also had some bad ass sideburns. From a young age, The Mosquito wasn’t like other super vil- lains. He never had grandiose dreams of ruling the world, he sim- Boy: Phewee! That stuff is just awful! Dem curdles is stuck ply wanted to be a really big nuisance. Starting off with small time in mah teef! stuff, he got his big break when he pretended to hold the door open for a young woman and then, when he let it slam, made her Ma: Oh, that’s too bad, darlin’. You’ll just have to do with- drop all of her groceries. “Hahahahaha!” The Mosquito screamed, out milk this marnin’. “You got got!” Slowly but surely, his pranks escalated – one day he would bring more than 10 items into the 10 Items or Less Lane, SpoilSport: Muahaahahahahaha! Muahaahahahahaha! and the next he would order a pizza in someone else’s name. So it only seemed natural when he started cornering helpless bums and — Eli Grober sucking their blood. Catchphrase D.Mitchell/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n “Bzzzzzz... Slurrrrppp!”

THE AP MONSTER The Mosquito in Action Possibly the most grotesque-looking super villain of all time, The Setting: A homeless man in a back alley picks through a dumpster. AP Monster feeds off of students’ anxieties and fears. All those who He is haggard, grey-haired, and missing several teeth. The Mosquito feel unprepared, be warned—he’s going to ruin your springtime waddles in, buzzing. fun. With the ability to take off a quarter of a point for every wrong The Mosquito: Hey. answer, the dreadful AP Monster has already conquered all 50 states and other U.S. territories. Known for its incredible stamina Bum: Hello. and endurance, the AP Monster can outlast the toughest oppoents— even the SAT I and ACT tests combined. This monster is no joke. In The Mosquito: How’s it going? a showdown with this beast, the best you can do is get a 5. And even Bum: Alright, I suppose. Lookin’ for a good meal. then, what have you really accomplished? Nothing. So sharpen your

B.Qiu/ T #2 pencils and brace yourselves. Anyone facing this giant is in for a The Mosquito: What a coincidence! I too am looking for something world of pain. to eat. (Looks directly at the camera and smiles broadly) e h

P Bum: (Eyes The Mosquito suspiciously) Say, what’s that costume i l l i h Catchphrase you’re wearing supposed to be? p n a i “You... go... University... of Phoenix... Online...” The Mosquito: Oh, this? This… this is nothing. This is what’s hip these days. DR. DOZE The AP Monster in Action Dr. Doze, the Legion of Evil’s evil genius, has the power to Bum: (slaps his neck) Damn these bugs! They come out in droves in The AP Monster throws itself onto a desk in front of a tired, overworked the spring. Oh, look, I got one! (Shows his hand to the supervillain. make even the most avid history class-going student fall asleep in student. There is a dead mosquito on it. The Mosquito is clearly irate) class. His ability to shoot “Zzzz”-rays results in a rapid onset of a sleep in his students. He also has shape shifting abilities in order : Take me! The Mosquito: You little ingrate! to assume the form of “normal” people like English and History The AP Monster teachers. A master of camouflage and disguise, Dr. Doze is the Alex Moss: Wait, didn’t this happen in Men in Black? Yeah, I’m al- modern-day sandman, willing to creep up on any unsuspecting Student: No! I can’t do it anymore! What’s the point!? These most positive, when Will Smith kills the cockroaches so the lead bug student and lull them to sleep. integrations are impossible to calculate. Only a student who’s will be upset… prepared for college-level courses could defeat you. I’m just an Catchphrase annoying lower who shouldn’t be here! The Mosquito: Well, I suppose… but who would be lazy enough to steal an idea from a movie so prominent in today’s popular culture? “No one will notice if you just rest your eyes for a few… hours!!” And furthermore, who are you? Get out of here! The AP Monster: Hahaha, that’s right. Shed those college angst- Dr. Doze in Action filled tears on my air-tight seal! You’ll have to open me atsome Alex Moss: Alright, if you say so… have fun with your killing. point! (Leaves) Dr. Doze walks into a second period History-310 class cleverly disguised Bum: Wait, what did he say? as an everyday History teacher. He pretends to silently be taking Student: What can I do? Who will help me? attendance at his computer, but in reality he’s zapping the unsuspecting The Mosquito: He said ‘have fun with your filling.’ You see, I have a students with his “Zzzz”-rays. Featuresman appears in next desk over. haircut tomorrow.

Dr. Doze: So class, how did you all enjoy the 90-page reading on Featuresman: Never fear! Featuresman is here! Bum: That line of reasoning was one hundred percent incoherent. the proper construction of pilgrim cottages that was accompanied The Mosquito: Yeah… listen. I haven’t been totally forthright with wonderfully by that single-spaced 13-page paper about the The AP Monster: That line is so cliché. And what are you going to you. This whole thing? This whole little encounter? What’s actually differences between pilgrim and modern housing? do? Your powers of sexual innuendo and Pete-vision are no match going to happen here is that I’m going to suck your blood. From your for my unlimited capabilities of evil. neck. In all likelihood you won’t survive the process. That’s what I The students all groan and grumble. meant when I said I was looking for a meal. It was dark humor. Featuresman: That may be so AP Monster, but I believe you’re Bum: Oh man. That… that is messed up. I don’t even want to know Dr. Doze: Well class, doesn’t anyone have anything to say? forgetting one little detail. Behold! The Princeton Review! what shady part of your consciousness that craving came from. Who would do something like that? Student #1: I think it’s safe to say that most of us stayed up all Featuresman pulls out the AP Review Book and throws it at the AP night doing this paper and we’re all exhausted. Monster. He lands a direct hit and the monster starts dissolving away. The Mosquito: I’m very psychologically unwell.

Dr. Doze: Really, now? I didn’t think it was too hard of an The AP Monster: Nooooo! My only weakness! How did you Bum: You should really think about finding some help for that kind of thing. So that costume? That’s a mosquito? assignment. know? The Mosquito: (Sighs) Yeah. Students # 2, 3, and 4: Zzzzzzz… Featuresman: Well, Mr. AP Monster. Any idiot knows that the best way to conquer an AP exam is to be adequately prepared. That’s Bum: God, yeah, find help. Listen, (Reaches into tatters, pulls out a Dr. Doze: Oh gee. It seems that some of your classmates have why you should use the Princeton Review. It’s the best AP prep business card) this is a name of a really great psychiatrist – hey look, a fat man with high blood sugar! mistaken naptime for class time. I have just the remedy, though! book on the market. Princeton Review AP prep books are available Since papers seem to keep you Uppers awake so much, we can just for purchase at www.amazon.com. Get yours today! The Mosquito: Where? (Turns around. The homeless man scatters) start a new one right now. Dang it! Not again! —Joey Atiba — Eli Grober, Lawrence Dai —Alex Moss B8 Features The Phillipian May 2, 2008

Billy Fowkes ’10 presents... Superhero Movie Spoilers Creating Your Secret Identity “A journey of self-discovery and pre-frayed girls jeans size 10” Spider-Man 4: Even Worse than the Third In a world filled with evil In the newest installment of the “originally decent, now completely ridiculous” series, Spider-man things like terrorists, syphilis fights off what proves to be his toughest competition yet—his feelings. Committing suicide is not so easy and rabid bears, it’s always for the recently turned emo Spidey, as every attempt results in his subconscious Spidey-sense saving comforting to know that we all himself ten feet before hitting the ground. And if that wasn’t enough, there to meet him for an upside have superheroes to protect down kiss is the smoking hot girlfriend, yet terrible Broadway actress/amazing diner waitress, Mary us. However, these fearless Jane. While no twist can match Peter Parker slapping Mary Jane in the face in the third film (dark, yet individuals have to blend into somewhat amusing in a weird, weird way), the fourth installment includes a number of moments that our society and be just like make the viewers wonder who at Fox gave this one the green-light. For a sneak preview, try YouTubing all of us, so they use secret “Peter Parker makes love to tarantula.” Again, odd, yet intriguing. identities to conceal their true identity. Secret identities are Batman: The Dark Night incredibly important for these

A follow-up to Batman: The Dark Knight, this epic adventure follows the Dark Knight through a superheroes—for instance, dark night in Gotham. The plot goes nowhere, which is understandable as the movie’s premise revolves Underdog’s secret identity is around the city’s power going out. The result is hours and hours of footage Batman’s flying blindly into Screech from Saved by the Bell. buildings and attempting to look for a flashlight. He then goes on to call N-Star, the local power company, Yes, Screech. You did not see and waits another hour for them to arrive (an hour of useless filler, if you ask me). The climax of the that one coming. movie occurs as Bruce Wayne, Batman’s alter ego, brushes his teeth and goes to bed. When he wakes up Of course, if these secret the next morning, the several really dim lights in the city have gone back on, and Batman is praised for identities are not used, the consequences can be dire. For what apparently were heroic actions. Can anyone say overrated? instance, Gopher Man, known Superman: The New Kryptonite for his ability to burrow deep underground, was mobbed by a In what is said to be the final installment of the series, the final weakness of Superman is revealed— group of nerds at an autograph fire. Overconfident in his supposed “invulnerability,” Superman walks directly into a burning building, signing in Reno, Nevada in 1994. only to come out screaming, naked and engulfed in flames. How he realized that kryptonite weakened He has been in a vegetative state J.Curtis/Th e Ph i l l i p i a n him before finding out the same about fire is unknown to me. And I’m sure it comes as pretty shocking to ever since. The Dewey Decimal System is the arch nemesis of B.J. Garry ’10 the majority of the Man of Steel’s fan base. I mean, who says “Yeah, I’m pretty sure kryptonite can kill me, Now, some of you preaching the word of Elvis why you shouldn’t try it out for but I’ll just assume that I can walk through fire”? The new film reveals a very idiotic side of Superman superheroes out there might be wherever you go. Because many yourself. The job is pretty simple, and a lot of his coolness factor is lost with his gruesome death by multiple third degree burns. That’s what thinking, “Golly, secret identities people believe that Elvis was just welcome the shoppers to you get when you try to put a fire out by yourself in a tight synthetic polyester one piece. Some words of sure sound swell! But shucks, an actual superhero, your job Wal-Mart and inform them advice: leave the heroics to the real superheroes. which one should I choose?” may become difficult, as your about the bargains they are sure Well, my friend, you have come Iron Man: Stuck in Bed treatment may be the same to enjoy. Just don’t slap anyone’s to the right place. you’d receive if you were not in butt. Many an old lady has done In the follow up to the smash hit that grossed a grand total of over 100 million in the US (that’s right, Free Sample Guy a disguise at all. Just try to avoid that to yours truly. They say I I’m predicting the future), Iron Man encounters his biggest problem yet—his technologically advanced at the Supermarket the same fate as Gopher Man. look like Conan O’Brien. Bottom iron suit. Beginning to rust at the arms and knees, Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man) wakes up one morning line—I’m never setting foot As the Free Sample Guy Morning Radio Show Host unable to move, and this time not from the excessive drugs and alcohol. Not wishing to reveal his secret inside a Wal-Mart again. at the Supermarket, your job identity, Stark does not call a friend for help, but rather tries to drag his 1,500-pound body across his You would be the co-host shouldn’t be too demanding, Homeless Person house to the garage for some oil. Luckily, a scarecrow and young girl with a puppy hear the noise from of “Chazz and the Donkey” on except shooing away all those the conveniently placed yellow brick road outside and are able to help him out. The trio of friends (now 105.1 WSEX X-Treme! FM. As Being a homeless person pesky “free sample scavengers.” in Technicolor!) gives him some oil and performs a cute song and dance routine. To compensate them for “The Donkey,” your job is to would require you to be Don’t you just hate them? their good deeds, Iron Man flies them across the poppy field, fights off some winged monkeys and kills incorporate as many shallow unkempt, sexually inappropriate There’s always that one guy who the biggest wuss of a lion ever. pop culture references and towards women, and of course, goes up to the table, eats one, farting sound effects in the show to have experience playing a The Fantastic Four Three: See It So We Can Make Four! then just keeps eating them until as possible, as well as laughing at steel drum. On the bright side, there’s none left. I hate that. Why all of Chazz’s lame stories about you could earn yourself some Only made so that the possibility of a Fantastic Four Four could become a reality, The Fantastic Four doesn’t he just buy the product, Three seems very hard to believe in many ways. For example, Jessica Alba wears a suit that covers her his cousin’s wedding on the air. money by break dancing in then he can have all he wants subway terminals, and when whole body and a guy who is described as being able to “stretch any part of his body to incredible lengths” without being such a jerk? Wal-Mart Greeter can’t get with a woman who’s not invisible, although this may just be a matter of girth. In the end, this you tear off your disguise to go movie is just a bunch of random shots of Alba’s face put together with a few cool scenes featuring the Elvis Impersonator Although being a greeter at fight crime, you shall forever be Wal-Mart is generally regarded known as the Amazing Flying giant, awesome-looking guy made of orange rock. However, I’ve heard that the entire movie is quite As an Elvis impersonator, as a “hobby” for older folks Hobo. Not bad. enjoyable under the influence of various hallucinogens. your job will be to go to various when their retirement plans restaurants and theme parks, — Billy Fowkes don’t work out, there’s no reason —B.J. Garry Features Presents... A Letter of Complaint from Mayor Prawdzik op “You’ve really got to stop using X-ray vision in the ladies room.” T en SuperheroesT and Dear Superhero Community, their Sidekicks As current Mayor/Supreme Chancellor of the NGMGRT (New Gotham Mordor Galactic Republic of Tacos), I would first like to extend my gratitude for your efforts in helping the city; however, I regret to inform you that some of your “superhero tactics” are causing more trouble than they’re worth. I have personally received large numbers of complaints from many citizens of our quaint city and after extensive input from administration officials, government representatives, 10. God and Jesus and the Jedi council, we have reached our final decisions. The following chart that lists all superheroes, their powers, the complaints we’ve received and what measures will be taken in response. All rulings will be implemented and enforced immediately. 9. Blaine Austin and May the force be with you, Ben Prawdzik Mayor/Supreme Chancellor of the NGMGRT Casilda Ventura

Superhero Superpower(s) Complaints Measures to be taken 8. Features and The Phillipian Your recent night out with Jamie Invincibility, super Dump the lesser Spears sister Superman Lynn Spears is bringing bad press strength, heat vision into a vat of liquid Kryptonite to the city Is the bat-signal really necessary? Uhh, he has some cool Batman It didn’t seem to work when Bat-pager. Enough said. 7. Eliot Spitzer and gadgets, I guess Starbucks was held up at 11 AM. Super-purring, ability to A bunch of nuns think the whole Ashley Dupré Keep it G-rated or say hello Catwoman be easily distracted by tight-leather cat thing is a little to sexual harassment charges. laser pointers extreme for the youngsters Ability to turn into giant Super high strength+super short Ritalin, the answer to all of The Hulk green thing temper = threat to national security life’s problems 6. The liberal media and Although spiders suck out the in- Web shooting, strength, Mary-Jane will be jettisoned Spiderman sides of their prey, you didn’t have global warming agility into the sun to do it in Time Square yesterday Super screaming, poison- Dakota Fanning please…stop…SCREAMING!!! A very tight muzzle ous bite Attempted robbery, vehicular 5. Tantum Collins and Curious George Super curious manslaughter, 1st degree murder, Maybe some more Ritalin? tresspassing, assault, Jonathan Adler CTU is getting a little irritated that I'm sorry, did you not Jack Bauer you do everything and save the Fire CTU hear? I said Jack Bauer. day without their help Recently murdered Snap, Crackle, 4. Alec Baldwin and Tony the Tiger Ability to speak Pot, Captain Crunch, and Lucky Release the greyhounds the Leprechaun his brothers Publicly displays certain The Flash Refer to superpower Castration inappropriate body parts 3. Barack Obama and Like wearing your underwear outside your clothes? Rev. Jeremiah Wright Write for Features. 2. China and Taiwan

[email protected] - [email protected] 1. Batman and Robin May 2, 2008 The Phillipian Arts B9

Bharatanatyam and Bollywood

getic dance that originated as a folk about our culture, which is great Colleen Flanagan dance but quickly became an inter- because Indian culture is the best national hit. Afterwards, Indo-Pak culture! Also, we looked fly in our Though dreading the onset of dancers taught members of the au- clothes [traditional Indian dress].” dience how to dance. Narayan added that he was Saturday classes the following day, R. Slamova/The Phillipian many Phillips Academy students Dahya said, “I definitely think pleased with the event’s outcome we helped people learn more about as well as the number of people Students enjoyed traditional Indian dancing and food at the Indo- appreciated the free periods they Pak spring festival last Friday during 6th and 7th period. received as compensation last Fri- the Indian subcontinent’s rich cul- who came to see it. He modestly day. The beautiful, sunny weather ture... When people think of Indian attributed the festival’s success to made it a perfect day for an outdoor popular culture, the glitzy, upbeat the ideal location and time slot, but event, and the on-campus club In- Bollywood movies come to mind. those who went didn’t seem to just do-Pak filled this ideal time slot However, while we did have that be looking for a good place to tan. with an entertaining spring festi- Dahya said, “Indo-Pak has val, which took place on Samuel never had an event in spring term Phillips Lawn. “We helped people learn other than the Asian Arts Festival. Comically emceed by Arun more about the Indian We played around with the idea of Saigal ’09 and Faiyad Ahmad ’10, subcontinent’s rich culture... having a dance show in Kemper or the event was well-attended, and When people think of Indian Steinbach but decided to have it for good reason. Members of Indo- popular culture, the glitzy, outdoors and celebrate the great Pak, decked out in traditional In- upbeat Bollywood movies weather. After that, everything just fell into place–we decided to have dian dress, greeted those arriving come to mind... we did try to with dancing, singing, great food food, T-shirts and henna tattoos.” incorporate more traditional Isabella Uria ’10 said, “The fes- and henna tattoos from the Indian/ and regional dances.” Pakistani culture. tival is great, especially in such The show started off with Saigal -Farah Dahya ’08 beautiful weather! Indo-Pak has and Ahmad, outfitted with Indi- done a fantastic job with the en- an accents, introducing approxi- tertainment as well as the food and mately ten Indo-Pak members who in our show, we did try to incorpo- henna tattoos. I would definitely performed a dance called Garba, a rate more traditional and regional come next year.” style of dance from Northwest In- dances.” The attendees sprawled out in Farewell, Seniors dia in which dancers use sticks to Throughout the festival, Indo- the sun on the Sam Phil Lawn were enhance their rhythms. Pak members also sold Indian food enjoying the entertainment as well next. Goldman closed the concert, per- Next, Farah Dahya ’08 per- from Bollywood Grill, including fa- as the weather on this perfect Fri- Steve Kim forming the most anticipated piece of the evening: “Allegro of Violin Concer- formed an Arabian Waltz. Indo- vorites such as pakora and samosas. day afternoon. We can only hope to No.3 in B minor” by Camillie Saint- Pak members also performed Their T-shirts disappeared just as that Indo-Pak continues this festi- Proudly ending their musical ca- quickly as the food. val as a tradition on beautiful spring reers at Andover, four of Phillips Acad- Saëns. Dressed to impress, Goldman bharatanatyam, a style of dance was definitely the evening’s highlight. from Southern India, the Bolly- Ram Narayan ’10 said, “I feel like afternoons in years to come. emy’s most talented student musicians perfomed their Senior Concertos this He effortlessly handled the compli- wood Dance and Bhangra, an ener- the festival helped raise awareness past Friday, April 25 in Cochran Cha- cated piece, and his skill with the vio- pel. Accompanied by the school’s or- lin was evident in his intricate playing. chestras, a memorable performance by Goldman also showed no signs of in- Allison Parr ’08, Nicholas Gordon ’08, timidation; he often smiled, especially The Photographs of Frank Gohlke Alyssa Yamamoto ’08 and Jesse Gold- when he shared looks with conductor man ’08 astonished the audience and James Orent. Various Gohlke projects are dis- Gohlke also photographed Mount lifted the chapel. The song itself was an experience, Lynx Mitchell played in the Addison exhibition. St. Helens about a year after the May Parr, a soprano singer, and Gordon and Goldman brought it to yet another The majority were taken in Gohlke’s 18, 1980 eruption that killed 57 peo- on trumpet opened the night with a level. Concert Master Katie von Braun hometown of Wichita Falls, Texas. ple and destroyed many of the sur- duo piece by Handel: “Let the Bright ’09 said, “Jesse showed so much genu- We don’t pay much attention to “I couldn’t help using the word rounding settlements. Impressed by Seraphim.” Accompanied by the Acad- ine passion, love for the instrument. nature at Phillips Academy. Sure, we ‘beautiful’ for Wichita Falls,” said the scale of the damage, Gohlke had emy Amadeus Orchestra, conducted It was an honor to have [the Academy mourn the frigid winter sleet and Gohlke. “But I had a hard time justi- a spiritual epiphany in which he fully by Teaching Fellow Christina Landolt Chamber Orchestra] be on stage with stroll around in flip-flops the second fying it.” realized how small and insignificant ’02, the first two performers showed him.” The concert came to a close as Goldman received a standing ovation, the temperature rises above the mid- Wichita Falls is not exactly one he was in comparison to the world. both their musical and technical prow- and his family and friends all greeted fifties. But we’re normally so caught of the top-ten tourist destinations. Many of Gohlke’s photographs, ess, especially impressing the audience him with support. up in everything else that we don’t Although it was the birthplace of especially his earlier ones, seem to with their flawless and harmonious At the concert’s end, the audience bother appreciating the horrors and the band Bowling for Soup, Wichita lack any personal style. They are just cooperation. The soothing, pretty and received a surprise; Goldman is not beauty of the natural world. And, Falls has exactly zero interesting pictures of everyday life, pictures light piece by Handel displayed the re- a Phillips Academy senior. In fact, he that’s what the Addison exhibit “Ac- landmarks. However, Gohlke was in- that any five-year-old could take the lationship between a vocalist, trumpet- commodating Nature: The Photo- first time he or she touches a camera. ist and an accompaniment. is graduating from a school nearby, spired by the region in which he grew Andover High. But regardless of his graphs of Frank Gohlke” is all about. up. He took countless pictures of the They do not have unique takes on Another notable musician of the Last Sunday afternoon was the common scenes, nor does the per- night was pianist Yamamoto. Her per- label as a “townie,” he participated in place, all of which exhibit a very un- the Phillips Academy music program opening of this unique photography sonality of the photographer shine formance with the Academy Chamber pretentious, simple style. longer than any Phillips Academy stu- exhibit, which will remain in the Ad- through the pictures. Orchestra displayed a strong contrast Gohlke explained, “You can pho- dent. dison Gallery of American Art until However, in our dynamic world from the opening piece, with “Piano tograph anything. The camera’s to- Goldman began his Phillips Acade- July 13, 2008. of complexity and stress, perhaps the Concerto No.1 in G Minor”: loud and tally indifferent and indiscriminant.” my musical career as a mere 7th grader Gohlke’s photographs appear very simplicity of Gohlke’s images is ex- intimidating, yet absolutely beautiful. His landscapes range from dark and joined the Corelli Ensemble, di- simple at first. Some of his favorite images of a marsh fire smoking at the actly what people want to see. She performed the first movement, the “Molto allegro con fuoco,” and rected by Elizabeth Aureden. In his lat- things to photograph are grain el- horizon, to the edge of a thunder- “I’m in another world,” said Ar- awed the audience by demonstrating er years he moved on to the Academy evators, buildings used to store grain. storm looming over a cornfield, to the gentine Irene Hart as she examined her technical superiority with quick Symphony and Chamber Orchestras. The exhibit features more than a cou- series “Aftermath: The Wichita Falls a photograph of an alley taken in and dexterous fingers. The slower and “I am very thankful! I wouldn’t ple of these buildings; Gohlke’s most Tornado,” a number of photos which Queens, New York. “The details are lyrical verses showcased her profound have done it elsewhere!” said Goldman well-known photo portrays a street portray both the destruction and re- so perfect that you feel like you’re with grain elevators, dark clouds and lyricism and command of dynamics. with charisma, friendliness, and his covery process after a powerful tor- actually there. They [the photos] are great smile. a flash of lightning. absolutely perfect.” “I thought Alyssa did a wonderful nado struck his town. job, especially considering our lack of The four talented musicians pro- Gohlke’s final series of photo- vided a night of wonderful music. Ev- graphs currently on display in the rehearsals. Not only did she play the technical bits spectacularly, she played eryone was great to see the developing Addison all depict the Sudbury River. the piece with emotion. That’s what musicians at Phillips Academy, but also These photos are so strikingly dif- made her concerto so incredible,” said to see that non-Academy students are ferent from Gohlke’s darker tornado Kaki Elgin ’09. given a chance to perform and develop and volcano disaster photos that they Goldman, a violinist, performed through this community. seem to have been taken by a differ- ent person altogether. The bright, deep colors make the water seem to be from another world. In one pic- ture a black leafless tree is reflected in the dark water in such a way that the tree seems to be reaching up from underneath the water’s surface. These photos are so clear and the colors so distinct that they could have been Photoshopped. But Gohlke’s in- tent with this line of pictures was for the viewers to stay separate from the world of the photos. Indeed, Gohlke left the print num- bers and labels at the bottom of the pictures to keep the audience at even more of a distance from the photos. According to the Addison, the purpose of Gohlke’s exhibit is to “challenge our culture’s assumption that nature is essentially passive.” email [email protected]! Frank Gohlke’s photographs really Courtesy of Alyssa Yamamoto make you think. Alyssa Yamamoto ’08 performs an impressive piano solo. Phillipian May 2, 2008 Arts Poet Robert Pinsky Movie Review Inspires Audience Harold and Kumar his works, sometimes juxtaposed and Nathalie Sun other times merged seamlessly. Escape from Besides these two ubiquitous guantánamo Bay themes, Pinsky claimed that his poet- Former Poet Lauereate Robert Pin- ry is “a dedication to clear, discursory sky would want you to read this article language.” It is easy to tell that Pinsky aloud - at least, he would if it were a loves words. His readings were fluid poem. and pronounced, well-enunciated and Pinsky, who served as U.S. Poet well-formed—he clearly savors the Laureate from 1997 to 2000, is an es- taste of words in poetry. Although he tablished poet, editor and translator of is not known for his end-rhymes, Pin- poetry and prose. His full collection of sky’s prose still has a distinct flow; one Scott Dzialo work includes an impressive 18 books. can tell that he has spent years playing He paid the Phillips Academy campus with the sound, shape and texture of In 2004, a bizarre, small-budget film a visit last Friday, April 25. words, along with their meanings. Addressing the packed audience in came out that quickly became a cult “The poem is something that hap- classic. Following a night in the lives of Kemper auditorium, Pinsky’s opening pens every time someone says it,” Pin- sky said concerning the importance of two teenagers looking for marijuana, reading poetry aloud. He believes that “Harold and Kumar Go to White Cas- the poem is an oral phenomenon with S. Sheu/The Phillipian tle” made only $18 million in the box the reader’s voice serving as the medi- Former United States Poet Laureate Robert Pinsky visited Phillips office, nearly sealing its fate as a flop. Academy last Friday, April 25. um of the prose. The attention he paid However, once on DVD and pay-per- to the undulations of his poems—the view, this tiny movie went on to gross rhythm, meter and patterns of short The creative poem was about death shadows of lives lead by the different and long words—were brilliant, and and the attitudes people hold toward people who wore them. Pinsky’s use over $80 million in home entertainment possibly only able to be captured in the enigmatic subject. The last line of lists of short words juxtaposed with sales and is now considered to be one of verbal form. read “X=your zenith.” Pinsky said after long stories in the poem had a beauti- the best, if not weirdest, stoner flicks of Pinsky read nine of his own poems reading, “X represents the unknown… ful auditory quality, both spoken and all time. So, when the sequel was an- Thank heaven, it’s much better not to heard. and supplementary lines or stanzas nounced, you can imagine fans’ surprise from works by other poets. His ability know.” The written stylistic properties to refer quickly to another author when The poem was both creative and of “Shirt” were vastly different from (who would have guessed that the story answering questions or stressing a crit- eloquent—a profound statement of “ABC,” as well as from the other poems wasn’t over?) and skepticism. After hav- ical aspect of writing clearly demon- the intangible fears we have about he read. Pinsky does not allow himself ing their heroes ride an escaped chee- strated his passionate dedication to the death, and the narcotic methods we to become stuck in a specific genre, tah, perform impromptu surgery on a art form; it also showed his investment use to fight our anxiety. Not only was topic or writing style. Yet his work is bullet-riddled man and hang-glide into the content fascinating, the form itself far from unfocused or erratic—every in spreading and perpetuating poetry, the parking lot of White Castle, it’s hard especially among young people. was remarkable. Pinsky’s word choice poem related somehow to the elusive “Students are really important to meshed cohesively; in such a small element, mystery, remembering and to imagine that writers Jon Hurwitz A. Levine/The Phillipian me,” he said. “When I was young, I dis- number of words, he addressed a legiti- forgetting, oblivion and history. and Hayden Schlossberg would have covered the art of poetry from teachers, mate, serious issue of death and divide, Pinsky’s visit to Phillips Academy anything else for Harold and Kumar to remark elucidating a poem was, “My poets—older people.” Pinsky believes while also maintaining a sense of play- was an enlightening one; poets and do. However, hoping to once again bring conversation has had to do with for- that it is important for the passion to fulness. The first line read, “Any body non-poets, writers and thinkers alike in the big bucks, Hurwitz and Schloss- getting… Remembering and forgetting continue. “Maybe someday one of you can die, evidently.” will always remember and never forget are the same process—you can’t do one will be doing this at another school,” he Another of Pinsky’s poems that him. His dedication to the arts was in- berg have finally released “Harold and without the other.” said. he read aloud, entitled “Shirt,” wove spiring and his passion, blatant. Relat- Kumar Escape from Guantánamo Bay.” Many of the poems that he selected One of the most interesting poems the story of the production of a single ing art and the change from tentative Mere hours after the events of the to read aloud were indeed about remi- of the night was the second Pinsky shirt with the lives of the workers who penchant to action, he said, “Your am- first film, Harold (John Cho) and Ku- niscence and forgetfulness, enlighten- read, titled “ABC.” It was a twenty-six contributed to make it. It was a poem bition should be to make your passion mar (Kal Penn) are packing their bags ment and oblivion. The two ideas were of stories within stories, weaving char- your instrument.” And Pinsky clearly word long poem, each word starting to follow Harold’s love all the way to blurred and interwoven throughout with a letter of the alphabet, in order. acteristics of different shirts with the practices what he preaches. the marijuana capital of the world, Am- sterdam. However, after lighting up and taking a hit in the airplane lavatory, Har- old and Kumar are labeled as terrorists by an ignorant, racist government of- ficial, Ron Fox (Rob Corddry), and sent to Guantánamo Bay. The two friends quickly escape and begin their run from the authorities. While making their way to Texas, Harold and Kumar experience a “bottomless party,” a Klu Klux Klan meeting and some old-fashioned south- ern hospitality. No matter how you look at it, the “Harold and Kumar” series is weird. It has strange humor and even stranger plot lines, and the acting reflects that. Every character has a quirk and no- body is really “normal.” In a sense, it’s a movie about misfits trying to get by. But the strange characters only add to the fun. Stereotypes are common and self- deprecating humor is everywhere. For example, child star, Neil Patrick Harris, plays a spin-off of himself, and it’s abso- lutely hilarious. But, what’s even more impressive is that behind each stereo- type is a bigger message. Sure, this might seem a little too deep for “Harold and Courtesy of The Courant Kumar,” but it does become clear that Above and below: Many impressive pieces of artwork were produced at last Sunday’s Courant-sponsored literary event, Spontaneous Combustion. Hurwitz and Schlossberg had a message beneath all of the silly humor. By put- Spontaneous Combustion ting in so many stereotypes, they’re es- and Charlie Dong ’09, they have Salvo ’08,” said Ireland. was a great idea on the Courant’s sentially satirizing ignorance. It’s a nice taken the intensity of their publicity The room contained the very part,” said Ker Yu Ong ’08. touch considering most of the movie is Andrew Khang up to an unmatched level, and it is comfortable ambiance of a lazy Sun- It looks as though the new pub- just mindless fun. Without it, “Harold clearly starting to have an effect on day afternoon, with an assortment licity is only the tip of the iceberg, and Kumar Escape from Guantánamo our community. of tunes playing behind the sound and the Courant’s growth is definite- For the past several weeks, vi- Bay” would have been pretty pointless. In an effort to further get the of casual conversation. Snacks such ly not stopping here. Hurwitz and Schlossberg certainly brant posters publicizing the Cou- magazine’s name out, the Courant as Wheat Thins, Nilla Wafers and “Our goals for the new board rant, Phillips Academy’s literary hosted an enjoyable and pleasantly chocolate Easter Eggs were passed are to increase the presence of the do have a knack for mixing social com- arts magazine, have been seen scat- eccentric event this past Sunday. Ti- around as students wrote, drew, Courant on campus via advertis- mentary with stupid humor. But let’s tered across familiar spots on cam- tled “Spontaneous Combustion,” the sewed and colored. ing and other methods of attracting be truthful; most people will see it just pus, catching the eyes of passerbys. event was held in Elson Room 113 A good majority of the students readers. We’re currently working on These include sidewalk chalk, artis- for the laughs. While “Harold and Ku- from 2:00 to 6:00 p.m. last Sunday. that showed up stayed until the very creating a Courant website to gener- mar Escape from Guantánamo Bay” is tic posters and even a humongous “The reason we chose ‘Spontane- end of Spontaneous Combustion, ate even more awareness. Previous definitely hilarious at times, it doesn’t painting hanging in Uncommons, ous Combustion’ as the theme was and all of the final products looked issues will also be available online. drawn by Danica Mitchell ’09. The to show how many creative ideas fantastic. Overall, everyone seemed We’re also speaking with our pub- measure up to its predecessor. The first multitude of innovative methods of students can spontaneously think of very enthusiastic about the event. lisher, Flagship, about getting our is- movie was so strange that everything advertisement and the domination and express in a contained amount “It’s clear sues printed in either full or partial seemed fresh and funny. Four years’ time of time. We only had one room, a that kids here color,” said Courant Editor-in-Chief “The goal of ‘Spontaneous Com- has taken a toll on some of the comedy. couple pastels and some blank paper don’t really get and Arts Editor for The Phillipian Parts of the film seem stale and recycled bustion’ was to provide a way to and we’re going to make a special the chance Charlie Dong. spring issue of the Courant called to express In this year’s Commence- from the previous movie. If you are go- relieve some stress and express a Chapbook. Everyone always has their creativity ment edition of The Phillipian, ing to bring back a cult flick, you have to your artistic side.” ideas that are in the back of their outside the class- Arts will review other cam- make sure you have something new to -Louise Ireland ’09 mind and we wanted to give a place room. The thing on pus publica- bring to the table. Unfortunately, fans where everyone has a chance to let Sunday tions. of the first “Harold and Kumar” might those ideas out,” said Courant find themselves under-whelmed. Not of the Uncommons wall reached a Poetry Editor Nette Oot ’09. point of saturation so that students Oot is an Arts Editor for The enough of the jokes are new to really were asked to take some down to Phillipian. propel the series forward and, because leave space for other posters. It was open to the general of that, it loses its momentum. Prior to this spring, the magazine public, and virtually anyone inter- was fairly unknown to the general “Harold and Kumar Escape from ested was welcome to drop Guantánamo Bay” still has some of the Andover community. Every term, by and produce a piece to be crazy humor and sharp social commen- the issues feature student-written added to the upcoming spe- works including poetry, essays, short cial issue to be published tary as the previous film did. But, it just stories and visual art. this spring. doesn’t compare to “White Castle.” Like “The Courant was a lot more “We were originally go- most sequels, this one simply falls flat in popular when Craig Thorn was the ing to do a 24-hour event, but we faculty advisor. After he passed comparison to the first. But, that doesn’t realized it was a bit long. The mean it isn’t worth a look. “Escape from away, its presence on campus heav- goal of Spontaneous Combus- ily diminished,” said current Editor- tion was to provide a way to re- Guantánamo Bay” is goofy enough to in-Chief Louise Ireland ’09. lieve some stress and express your spend a lazy afternoon watching. Just However, the Courant seems to artistic side. The idea was originally don’t expect genius. be back on its way up. With a brand thought up by last year’s Editors-in- new board led by co-heads Ireland Chief Jessica Cole ’08 and Simone Grade: 3+