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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY CONTENTS We acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, the Gadigal people of the WED 26 Eora Nation. The University of Sydney—where we write, publish and distribute 3 LETTERS INBOX Honi Soit—is on the sovereign land of these people. As students and journalists, we recognise our complicity in the ongoing colonisation of Indigenous land. In 4 NEWS THURS 27 Anonymous said to honisoit: recognition of our privilege, we vow to not only include, but to prioritise and centre the experiences of Indigenous people, and to be reflective when we fail 6 ANALYSIS I’m so angry you don’t accept anonymous letters anymore! So rude. FCUK YOU! to. We recognise our duty to be a counterpoint to the racism that plagues the SEE YOU IN HELL! I’m never going to email [email protected] with my opinion. mainstream media, and to adequately represent the perspectives of Indigenous 9 CULTURE FRI 24 students at our University. We also wholeheartedly thank our Indigenous reporters for the continuing contribution of their labour to our learning. 15 FEATURE 22 PUZZLES Decimus Juinius Pseudo-Juvenalis said to honisoit: EDITORIAL 26 HUNNY Sir –– In 2010, one of my friends gave me a hard drive filled with tv shows, and When reading laſt week’s Edition, I was surpriſed to find printed in the pages of another friend told me to get Tumblr. I will forever be in their debt. Do you know this? this honourable Publication a letter which to all reasonable mynds must clearly THANKS TO 1. Which Byzantine city was renamed appear the Work of a fraud. The letter’s Author styles himſelf as His Eminence, On Tumblr, I found a place of pure escapism. I could cackle in bed at 3am to which Style is known to me only to be used of cardinals, patriarchs and Grand my heart’s content, firm with the knowledge that millions of others were Editor-in-Chief Istanbul after being captured by the Alison Xiao Maſters of the Knights of Malta. The Name to which the author pretends describes doing the same. I scrolled an infinite length of dashboard, made shitty Ottoman Empire? no such Person. We can be relieved, therefore, that the letter is not the work of an photosets, taught myself Photoshop by downloading other people’s PSDs, Editors eminent Papist, but only the work of another kind of fraud, one less eminent. lamented about Tumblr’s inane 3mb gif limit, #gpoy’ed, saved folders of Elijah Abraham, Janek Drevikovsky, Nick Harriott, Lamya Rahman, 2. How many times has Manchester over-saturated reaction pictures, read too many uninformed opinion rants, Andrew Rickert, Millie Roberts, Zoe Stojanovic-Hill, Lena Wang, Alison United been relegated from the En- More than a fraud, the Author is an unfair critick of the editors. He wrongly im- unfollowed autoplay-music blogs with glitter backgrounds, celebrated many Xiao glish Premier League? pugns the editors’ use of the phrase the studentis newspaper. It should be clear a fictional character’s birthday, agonised over customising my theme’s to all that this is no mistake. It would seem to me that the editors conſidered that html code, survived the Tumblr apocalypse of 2012, and liveblogged while the normally enlightened Readerſhip of this publication would understand the Contributors 3. How many grammys has Kanye watching shitty streams of Glee Live. Dominic Bui Viet, Natassia Chrysanthos, Baopu He, Nicholas Hulme, Kida word to be the genitive form of studens, a word of the Latin Tongue. The phrase Lin, Momoko Metham, Ranuka Tandan, Katie Thorburn, Sasha Veber, Joe West won? carries a plain meaning: the newspaper of the student. The Author does well to remind us that among the editors we may count Mr Drevikovsky, that homo doc- I’m sure countless of you did all of the above—the­ best thing about Tumblr Verity, Jess Zlotnick tissimus, whose Attic Salt we may detect in this phrase. was that you were never ‘forever alone’. It was truly a time to be alive. Then 4. What two Sydney Trains stations, came Yahoo or the end of adolescence, and it was never truly the same. Artists both beginning with L, sit at the alter- Robin Eames, Momoko Metham, Brendan James O’Shea, Jess Zlotnick Mr Drevikosky would be dismayed, I think, to see that this critick fast shewed nate ends of the Bankstown line? himself to be a hypocritick. The Author’s errors, grammatical and otherwise, were Even if you have a sum zero idea of what I’m talking about, please Cover numerous. The word both was misplaced in the third Sentence. The word betwixt nevertheless enjoy the love, indulgence and nostalgia imbued in this Jess Zlotnick, Lena Wang, Alison Xiao 5. In regards to data storage, what was misused. There was no sense in the phrase Mr. Chu is aware would know edition. AX does the acronym SSD stand for? better than to questions constitutionally vested in Ms. Grant. The Author begins a sentence On the one hand, but proceeds to make no reference to the other. The Author then writes far be it for me to say &c. &c., a corruption of far be it from me. 6. What is Pokemon #250? He also writes scare for scarce. The punctuation is often confused.

The signs as tumblr memes 7. Master Splinter’s Daughter; tempt- I will say little of the Author’s political Opinions, except that I am likely to agree ress to Kendrick Lamar? where his views are democratic, but am inclined otherwise where they are demot- ic. I think those sage Words of Epicurus will be of interest to all: μὴ πολιτεύεσθαι. ARIES: crave that mineral 8. Answer to 9+10, according to 2014 Yours Faithfully and Sincerely &c. &c., TAURUS: hot choclety milk viral video?? GEMINI: date a girl who reads CANCER: none pizza left beef 9. “How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real?” Which philosopher LEO: shows up at starbucks 15 developed this theory? minutes late with starbucks 10. CORRECT name of this item? VIRGO: take me to snurch World’s most popular sport? LIBRA: imagine how is touch the sky SCORPIO: spiders georg SAGITTARIUS: you tried CAPRICORN: skeleton war AQUARIES: ...... slime man PISCES: down with cis

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- 2 - - 3 - NEWS NEWS USyd slips backwards on carbon target Petition calls on USU to delay alcohol policy Natassia Chrysanthos Janek Drevikovsky

The University of Sydney’s latest still within the parameters of the 20 significantly reduced its investments retains shares in key mining and Over 80 USU clubs and societies have the need for “democracy”. that you can’t fix by slightly reducing had “encouraged” the development report on its share portfolio’s carbon per cent reduction, the 2017 report in Santos, an oil and gas producer, energy companies. As of June signed a petition calling on the USU Some petitioners complained about the cost of alcohol.” of the new policy. However, when footprint reveals a slight reversal in shows that the portfolio’s emissions reducing them from $916,434 2017, the University had $4,294,182 to delay the introduction of its new the practical effects of the change. A Thompson also rejected the asked about the contents of the the progress made over the last two intensity has increased since 2016 in December 2015 to $329,837 of holdings in mining company alcohol funding policy until further JazzSoc representative commented argument that the policy would email to Galea, Thompson told Honi years. and now sits on the outskirts of its by December 2016, while total BHP Billiton, although this is consultation takes place. Under the that the policy meant the society disrupt clubs’ activities. “Funding is that the USU “had been open about In 2015, the University rejected the boundary for emissions intensity per divestment was achieved in June approximately half of the $8,615,325 policy, which came into effect this “won’t be able to run our main still able to be claimed for a number the fact that the University has been demands of a fossil fuel divestment dollar. 2017. that was invested in BHP as of week, the USU will no longer fund its event”. Sydney University Women in of other expenses, e.g. food, venue a major driver behind the shift in campaign, labelling total divestment Despite the media attention December 2015. clubs, societies or programs for their Engineering (SUWIE) representatives hire, photographers, decorations approach to alcohol provision”. She as a “blunt instrument which surrounding the University’s The University said During the same time period the purchases of alcohol, unless those wrote that the change will “make it or performers,” she said. “Unless then forwarded a copy of the email delivers sub-optimal outcomes”. initial commitment to the 20 per University’s funds in mining giant purchases are made at a USU licensed hard to make events affordable”. literally all the spending [at an event] exchange. The University instead committed cent reduction target, with the it would “make no Rio Tinto—worth $3,263,383 in venue. USU President Courtney Thompson is on alcohol this won’t make a In that exchange, Thompson to a “whole-of-portfolio approach” University’s own 2015 promotional further investments December 2015—have more than The petition, which was sent to was unclear on how the petition will difference to funding.” advised Galea to “meet with the Vice- involving a 20 per cent reduction of material emphasising how they doubled, and as of June 2017 the USU President Courtney Thompson be handled, but it appears unlikely Despite Thompson’s support of Chancellor to air your concerns with its share portfolio’s carbon footprint were taking a “leadership position in the coal and University has $7,268,078 worth of and Vice-Chancellor Michael Spence, she will accept its demands. She the policy, it seems the USU Board, him personally” and offered to attend within three years. on carbon reduction”, there has been Rio Tinto holdings. was signed by 85 clubs from the USU’s defended the policy, noting that which is composed of elected student any such meeting herself. When this reduction target is minimal coverage of USyd’s progress consumable fuels Rio Tinto is one of the University’s Clubs and Societies (C&S) program. “we understand that many students directors, was left little choice by the Thompson’s advice may explain factored in, the total amount of carbon since the initial commitment. subsector of largest corporate partners, with the The petition was circulated during aren’t happy with the changes, but C&S program and its professional why the petition addresses the emissions produced by companies The University has said that its multimillion dollar Rio Tinto Centre OWeek, attracting support from clubs the decision was made with student staff. In an email sent to Craft Beer University as well as the USU. in USyd’s share portfolio should results are “publicly reported in the ASX.” for Mine Automation established on as diverse as Economics Society and safety in mind.” In particular, the Appreciation Society Social Director Galea said he had tried to organise not exceed approximately 4 billion detail”, although both the 2016 and campus in 2007. the Disney Appreciation Society. policy seeks to address “the link Cian Galea, Thompson wrote that “I a meeting with the Vice-Chancellor, tonnes of carbon dioxide, while the 2017 progress reports have been The University has also Its funds in AGL Energy, where President of the Mechanical between alcohol at social events and spoke to... our C&S Manager, and as the but was told to contact Deputy Vice- maximum emissions intensity per US uploaded to the ‘Investment and divested from Whitehaven University Chancellor Belinda Undergraduates Society (MUGS) and instances of sexual harassment”. directive came from the University, Chancellor (Education) Professor dollar invested should not exceed 225 Capital Management’ section of Coal. This reduction followed Hutchinson is a non-executive board co-author of the petition, Thomas According to Thompson, the policy nothing will change unless they were Pip Pattison who, according to a tonnes of carbon dioxide. the University’s website without a 2014 Greenpeace campaign, director, also increased in the six Sultana, explained that the petition will encourage clubs to move events to change their minds”. University spokesperson, oversees involving alcohol to the USU’s on- The USU and the University are By September 2016, the accompanying press releases, and which protested the University’s month period between December sought to “temporarily lift the ban “engagement between the University University’s carbon footprint was each year’s report only consists of a investments in Whitehaven. At the 2016 and June 2017, but have [on off-campus alcohol funding] so campus venues, “which we think it is separate organisations, with distinct and student organisations such as 27 per cent below this benchmark. single graph. time, the University said it would decreased overall since 2015. societies can run events they had fair to say are safer than many other organisational structures and no the USU”. At the time of publication, In a statement to Honi last year, a Disclosures made as a result of halt investments in Whitehaven and A new ‘Expose the Ties’ campaign, planned from before the ban was venues.” In support of that claim, formal control over one another’s Galea was still awaiting a response. University spokesperson highlighted a Government Information (Public “make no further investments in the launched last year by Fossil Free introduced, […] then open the floor to Thompson pointed out USU staff policies. However, a University Whether the University will that this was “seven per cent better Access) (GIPA) request filed last year coal and consumable fuels subsector Universities, is currently examining all societies to have their say”. receive regular training on safety spokesperson confirmed that “the change its position on the policy, than the proposed target” and that have revealed the AU dollar value of the ASX.” The GIPA results indicate the ties forged between universities The petitioners singled out a and sexual harassment. She also University has asked the USU, which Thompson suggested was a “this result shows that the University of the University of Sydney’s direct that the University’s holdings in and the fossil fuel industry through lack of consultation as their chief noted that the organisation holds an all other student organisations condition to the USU making its own was tracking better than the proposed investments in companies involved Whitehaven dropped from $900,000 research funding and the positions grievance. For instance, Jack Andrew- “unblemished liquor license” and is a and its own student services to changes, is unclear. It seems clear, target 12 months earlier than the in the extraction of coal, oil and coal in 2014 to $483,275 by December of University board members in Kabilafkas, the president of acapella founder member and current chair of commit to implementing relevant however, that the University will not agreed deadline”. seam gas, and how this has changed 2015, and total divestment was fossil fuel companies. The campaign society BarberSoc, wrote on the the local liquor accord. recommendations of the Broderick use its influence to push for more However, while the carbon following its 2015 commitments. achieved by December 2016. suggests that these relationships petition that “while we don’t mind MUGS President Sultana, speaking Report.” It appears that the USU’s consultation: according to a University intensity of USyd’s share portfolio is Since 2015, the University has However, the University still form a barrier to full divestment. the change, the lack of consultation on his society’s behalf, questioned professional staff is intent on spokesperson “consultation with is ridiculous and arrogant on behalf whether safety would meaningfully complying. clubs and societies is a matter for of the USU.” Others described the improve. “The roots of the problem Initially, Thompson was willing USU to decide”. FASS staff not sold on anonymous marking process as “unfair” and highlighted lie much deeper with cultural issues to admit only that the University Zoe Stojanovic-Hill

Staff from the Faculty of Arts and completed the task. Semester 1 of 2018. that staff are feeling overwhelmed Social Sciences (FASS) have voiced Other staff members argued The SRC has been advocating by the amount of technological and Counting Dead Women concern over the University’s that the system could prevent for the introduction of anonymous organisational changes that have decision to introduce compulsory students from receiving personalised marking since late 2015. been introduced recently. Katie Thorburn anonymous marking this year. feedback from markers, which would Speaking at the forum, SRC The ‘Counting Dead Women’ told me. “It is absolutely a gendered “We see this resistance in page[s] in Australia,” she explained. At a forum on Friday, staff dissuade incentive to put effort into President Imogen Grant said that “We are bringing in Facebook page has cycled through issue – it’s overwhelmingly women government, with cuts to government “I think that sudden realisation that members from various departments coursework. the SRC is committed to “ensuring this new policy right many cover photos this year. When who are being harmed by mostly men. funding to supportive services there’s a lot of feminists online, and within FASS expressed frustration Anonymous marking is designed fair marking by reducing any sort of this article was first being researched, Of the men that are being harmed, it at both state and federal level, we are pissed, caused a lot of people with multiple aspects of the to counter the influence of cognitive implicit bias that can affect markers, now, while we are the cover photo was a graphic ‘11’, is mostly by other men. We want to and unsupportive and restrictive to knee jerk…to put us back in our anonymous marking system, bias in grading assessments—to regardless of their intentions to struggng with the a number that reflects the amount remove those blinkers.” legislation.” place. Silence us.” which organises digital assessment ensure that all students are judged promote or disadvantage any groups of women who have been killed in In addition to raising awareness Nonetheless, Annalise believes But Destroy the Joint is far from submissions by ‘paper ID’ rather by the quality of their work, rather of students”. new curriculum... Australia this year. Sadly, the current about violence against women, the there is cause for optimism. silent. Having accumulated over than by name or student number. than by a facet of their identity or “Markers [can] construct a schema [and] Canvas” cover photo will soon be outdated. organisation aims to remember the She told me that the most rewarding 90,000 Facebook ‘likes’ in under four Concern centred on the fact that past academic performance. It aims to assign students to a pre-formed ‘Counting Dead Women’ is a individuals who have been lost. aspect of her “heartbreaking” work is years, the count continues to be a there is currently no mechanism for to ensure that groups that have been group, often drawing on stereotypes project run by the moderators and “We also want to hold vigil for the “slow but certain recognition that powerful reminder of the devastation managing late submissions and the excluded from academic institutions of what a high-achieving student is researchers of Destroy the Joint, those who have had their lives taken we, as a nation, do have a problem of intimate partner violence. technological difficulties associated throughout history and continue or a low-achieving student is,” Grant “I think the anxiety is not about a feminist Facebook page. The from them,” Annalise told me. “We with IPV.” While this article was being with using the anonymous marking to experience discrimination in said, echoing the SRC’s 2016 policy the rights and wrongs of anonymous organisation records and publicises will not let them be forgotten.” “When we first started, we were written, the count was updated. The function in Canvas. academia, such as people of colour, statement on the topic. marking. I think the anxiety is the the number of women killed in Annalise said that the organisations one of the newest, fastest-growing Facebook cover photo now bears the Joe Collins of the Department of Grant indicated that staff would combination of so many new things Australia in any given year. Whilst focuses on the numbers because “it’s and loudest shouting femmo fb number “13”. Political Economy, a leading staff Anonymous benefit from an anonymous marking that we are grappling with,” she said. not solely focusing on domestic a useful lobbying tool.” advocate of anonymous marking, system, even if they do not believe the “The issue is that we are bringing violence cases, most of the women “A count is a very simple and who trialled the system in his courses marking will system will have its intended effect, in this new policy right now, while they count are killed by men– by men powerful message. There’s no last year, acknowledged that staff reassure students because it will reassure students that we are struggling with the new they know. complicated words around it. There’s face the challenge of re-educating they are not being discriminated curriculum and we’re struggling with When I messaged the Facebook no possible way to debate it. They are students to not include their name that they are not against. this new platform [Canvas] which page, I received a reply from an admin facts, and they are damning.” and student ID in the body of the text being discriminated “Even at times when this bias doesn’t do the administrative things called D3, who later revealed her name It’s a hard job, Annalise explained, when they upload assignments. is negligible there is a student we were able to do under Blackboard,” to be Annalise. Page moderators adopt especially for a grassroots organisation Director of Education Innovation, against. perception that exists within the she said. anonymous online personas because, operating with constrained resources. Adam Bridgeman, flagged another study body. That’s what needs to be “A whirlpool of different factors... as an outspoken feminist group, they The organisation is run by volunteers, issue: if a student does not keep women, LGBTQ+ people, and other managed as well,” she said. are making people anxious.” have experienced doxxing attacks in who only have access to information a record of the ‘digital receipt’ minorities, receive equal treatment. One staff member suggested Despite opposition from some staff the past. that is publicly available. they receive upon uploading their The University made anonymous that the sense of “anxiety in the members, compulsory anonymous “Australia has got blinkers on when She said that the job feels especially assignment, the marker has no way marking optional in 2017, before room” was a not a reaction against marking will be enforced this it comes to the reality of intimate difficult when she thinks about the of knowing that the student has making the system compulsory as of anonymous marking per se, but a sign semester. partner violence (IPV),” Annalise lack of political will in Canberra.

- 4 - - 5 - ANALYSIS ANALYSIS Who are you, again? Imagining USyd as its own nation Kida Lin looks at political factions stacking USU societies. Andrew Rickert has far too much time on his hands.

You’re sitting there, ready for your club or that constitutional amendments have since been presidents have been Liberal-aligned and members The sun is rising, dew glistening on the grass surely another contributing factor to our position thousands of academic staff who report to these societies’ annual meeting. Turnout seems high, passed to “ensure that individuals involved in of the Liberal Club frequently hold majority on the in front of the Quad. A Campus Security Force as world leader. structures, and the massive institutions that exist although you don’t recognise half the people in future AGMs are genuine”. exec. bureaucrat rolls into position in Victoria Park, In Australia, Aboriginal micro-nations like the on campus are also tantamount to the public the room. That’s ok—you’re hoping to get a grasp For instance, only members who have attended It is unclear, however, whether having a small spraying away the trespassing Australians with a Murrawarri Republic and the Yidindji Tribal Nation servants and ministries of a country; Sydney Uni of what these seemingly enthusiastic individuals at least one club event can vote and the president number of individuals from different political high-pressure water cannon. have demanded measures such as a treaty, deed Sport and Fitness would have placed 45th at the wish to contribute. Gradually though, you become must come from the last year’s executive team. factions is enough to facilitate diverse participation It’s Wednesday of O Week, and the University of secessions, or acknowledgments of declaration 2016 Rio Summer Olympics with their total of one more and more confused. “Who are these people? One might question whether these measures from its students. According to George*, a second of Sydney Ministry of Interior is preparing for of war by Great Britain. Yidindji leader Murrumu gold, three silver, and one bronze medal. Why are they here? Why are they all voting for one are enough. It’s not obvious if someone who has year commerce student who attended a couple its biggest immigration event of the year. Sixty Walubara Yidindji was once arrested “for using Sadly, Finlay brings the dream back to reality. candidate? What are they doing to my club?” only attended one event over the entire year is a of SASS events, the mere fact that some societies thousand new citizens, each of whom needs to be license plates issued by the micro-nation.” The In Australia, “the constitution is said to create Clubs and societies receive their funding from ‘genuine” member of that society. In addition, are perceived to be controlled by one faction can processed and naturalized in mere hours. Aboriginal Provisional Government, “established ‘an indissoluble federation,’” which seems to the University of Sydney Union and are thus restricting presidential candidates to current execs “cultivate an exclusionary culture, since some Welcome to life in the nation of the University on the principle that Aborigines are a sovereign rule out secession movements as large as that of supported by students who buy ACCESS cards. This concentrates control into the hands of a limited students wouldn’t feel comfortable”. of Sydney. people,” while not a micro-nation, issues Western Australia. The Montevideo Convention means they are supposed to provide an avenue for establishment, something many already find In addition, the power imbalance in some According to Murdoch University constitutional Aboriginal passports and birth certificates, with on the Rights and Duties of States establishes the like-minded students to socialise. problematic. societies means that students with certain political and international law specialist Lorraine Finlay, Libya, Norway and Switzerland having accepted “primary criteria historically… needed to actually On the one hand, there are political clubs such SASS members are not the only ones embroiled convictions are unable to reach senior positions. Australia is “the leading place in the world the documents, and the Australian government establish statehood.” as the Liberal, Labor, ALP, Greens and Socialist in election stacking scandals. Harry*, an exec This may in turn disincentivise their engagement. for micro-nations.” A micro-nation is a self- reluctantly allowing activists to re-enter using Article 1 dictates that states require: a) a Alternative Clubs. These clubs facilitate political member of a faculty-based society, recalled high- Similarly, Tim stressed that the influence of determining, self-defined political entity that them. permanent population, b) a defined territory, c) discussions among students and often coordinate profile figures from left-leaning campus factions faction-aligned individuals is often covert. “I intends to establish a nation with equal legal These examples fit with Finlay’s theory that government, and d) capacity to enter into relations their members to run for office during the USU and attempting to stack the AGM of his society last year. believe that ARNA, SASS’ yearly journal, was on the footing as existing recognised sovereign states. these nations are “more of an expression of political with the other states. Finlay notes that this has SRC election periods. “SASS is always the big example, but stupol chopping block because Young Liberal elements When asked why this phenomenon is so common frustration than anything else.” Although not to be “a self-replenishing population… who On the other hand, there are clubs and societies people tend to be active in societies almost de didn’t like it. [They] considered it a waste of time in Australia, Finlay told Honi it “represents the externally frustrated with the Australian political have children [or] raise a family,” so you “have whose primary function is to represent students rigueur.” Yet, he was quick to caution against and society funds.” Australian idea of having a go at things, and climate, the University is an extreme hypothetical successive generations, permanently living on the from different faculties and departments. Notable drawing conclusions: “I think it’s an open question On perhaps a more fundamental level, the Australia having a bit of an entrepreneurial spirit, of a group that could revolt for self-determination. campus.” examples include SASS, Sydney University Business whether what stupol hacks do is part of a conscious disproportionate control of some political groups where people don’t just sit down and accept USyd’s total staff and student population is In terms of government, USyd’s governance may Society and Sydney University Law Society. By power grab, or whether they’re just more socially over department-based societies raises the decisions [or government actions] they don’t like.” around 60,000, which makes it larger than twelve seem complex and all-encompassing enough to definition, these societies ought to be non-political active people regardless.” question of representation. As Tim put it, “I’m She notes the “history in Australia… ranging from currently-recognised countries: Vatican City, run a nation, but this government needs to exercise and represent students from a variety of political This sentiment was echoed by Robert*, the sceptical of a Young Lib controlled SASS [because] protests through the union movement, protests Tuvalu, Palau, San Marino, Liechtenstein, Monaco, “control over the territory, and while universities backgrounds. president of a major society on campus. He adds that, most arts students aren’t Liberal voters.” in environmental activism, through to micro- Marshall Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, St. have governance arrangements, they don’t have “I can definitely see how political student bodies When it comes to potential solutions, the issue nations, where Australia is really one of the most Kitts and Nevis, American Samoa, Greenland, and a government that is self-sufficient, because… extending their reach would be beneficial. It would becomes trickier. Apart from electoral reforms robust democracies in the world in terms of having the Cayman Islands. [they] are subject to state and federal laws and [T]he power imbalance allow them to softly build up their membership such as the one passed by the SASS executive last citizens that are prepared to express their political The University has structures which could easily regulations.” This power, derived from Australian bases by influencing members covertly.” year, it’s hard to think of regulations that might beliefs.” be as sophisticated or complex as those that govern institutions of government, also fails USyd at the in some societies means For him, election stacking is a real concern. effectively deal with the problem. Conversely, Czech libertarian and founder of ‘Liberland,’ these small countries. The Senate, comprising fourth hurdle: capacity to enter into relations. “During an AGM for my society once, there was a it ultimately appears up to factionally-aligned Vit Jedlicka, invoked terra nullius when claiming a of 15 fellows who act as a chief decision-making “So, it’s an interesting hypothetical,” concludes that students with certain rumour circulating that a political student group individuals to make sure their political affiliations disputed three-square-mile section of the Croatia- body, the 23-member Executive, who oversee Finlay, “but… just on that first point… a university political convictions are would try to stack it. That created some real fear, do not exclude people who would otherwise be Serbia border. Australia’s history with these administration, and the 35-member Academic campus couldn’t declare itself to be a state in a way as it’s well known how large these groups can be.” involved in societies. colonial notions of what constitutes a nation is Board who make academic-related decisions. The that would be recognised internationally. unable to reach senior Of course, not everyone shares his concern. For his part, Finch offeredHoni a long and formal positions. This may in Emma*, the president of another small department- statement, maintaining that “every executive based society, confessed that the issue of election member knows politics has no place in making turn disincentivise their stacking has never come up for her. She added it is a better community for Arts students, and [in Self Sufficient engagement. “the prerogative of the exec of any society or club ensuring SASS] is always welcoming for everyone”. to dictate how political or apolitical their society or On the other hand, there is also a need for more Government club will be”. students to engage with these societies. It is the Say goodbye to HECS or any Every year, members come together to elect David*, who has been extensively involved in mass participation of students that will ultimately Commonwealth fee support. The a group of executives who will be responsible for SASS for two years, made a similar point: “I would make them more democratic and representative. University would collect tax instead running each club or society for the coming year. agree that positions of leadership are taken by a As for Tim, being able to name some candidates of charging fees, and could set this This is called an annual general meeting or AGM. majority of people who are also associated with at next year’s AGM is all he asks for. at whatever level it so pleased. Basically, the AGM’s outcome should represent the the Libs. However, there are also a few prominent Considering the average income of wishes of the club’s member base. members of the Left or Labor on the board. I would the USyd ‘citizen,’ income tax rates However, the situation Tim* found himself in not say there’s a huge problem.” would be insanely high compared during the 2016 AGM of the Sydney Arts Student In a similar vein, Finch pointed out that “the *Names have been changed. to any other nation, but one can Society (SASS) tells a different story. “I remember past three years have seen members of Grassroots, hope that the amount of bureacracy sitting in the AGM thinking, ‘wow, there’s a lot of Labor, the Liberals and Independents working involved would employ local citizens people I don’t know here and they’re all wearing together on [SASS’] executive team.” Kida Lin has campaigned for Grassroots-affiliated rather than pesky Australian fly-ins, R.M. Williams and voting for each other’”. Jacob Grassroots-affiliated individuals (Michael Sun, candidates in various student elections. as to keep the USyd dollar within the Masina, a prominent member of the Liberal Club, Gina Tran and Izabella Antoniou), and Labor Usyd economy. was eventually elected president. members (Andrea Zephyr, Connor Wherrett and Chancellor would become Lachlan Finch, the 2018 president of SASS and Jake Williams) have previously been elected SASS President, retaining the ‘figurehead’ also a member of the Liberal Club, assured Honi executives. Nonetheless, the last three SASS position, while Deputy Vice Chancellor would become the head of a democratic government - which would mean a very interesting political sphere.

Permanent Population

The biggest stumbling block for USyd. The housing system that alllocates accomodation Security Forces closest the campus has to a ‘permanent;’ ‘self- to students as they need it. The problem is this All nations need a force to protect their borders. replenishing’ population are the collges and the population would have to self-replenishing. So Thankfully, the brave souls of Campus Security few university-run residential buildings. unless you’re planning on staying at uni for your have a historical relationship with local police, For USyd’s national bid to be successful, these whole life, or planning a family on campus, there’s meaning conflict should be able to be avoided. would surely have to be nationalised, with a central no easy answer to this question. Popular uprisings, on the other hand...

- 6 - - 7 - Search Tumblr SUPPORT DELIVERY RIDERS been uncovered exploitation has > Widespread involving food delivery riders > A survey shows 75% of riders are being paid below the minimum rate > When riders are racially abused and threatened their companies refuse to help them fired for no reason honi soit. > Riders are being Follow the stories you’ve been hearing about. . Riders and supporters have their views What: Rights4Riders Rally Share the things you love. heard. There’ll be bicycle repairers Marchoffering 2018 free checks. Wednesday 14th When: 2.30pm-3.30pm, of Brisbane Park, the corner at Harmony before march Where: Meet in Surry Hills, and Hunt Streets on Oxford Street Email to Taylor Square

Everyone doing food delivery work needs rights and protections. This rally will put UberEATS, Foodora, Deliveroo and other providers on notice that riders deserve a fair deal that guarantees they’ll come home safely at the end of each day. Password For more information email: [email protected] or follow us on Facebook: @ondemandworkersaustralia Username SRC BOOKS IN A PICKLE? Log In CLOSING DOWN SALE

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p: 02 9660 4756 Level 1, Wentworth Bldg, University of Sydney Surprise bitch. Liability limited by This service is provided w: src.usyd.edu.au/src-books Sign Up p: 02 9660 5222 | w: src.usyd.edu.au a scheme approved to you by the Students’ under Professional Representative Council, e: solicitor @ src.usyd.edu.au Standards Legislation. University of Sydney ACN 146 653 143 | MARN 1276171 I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. Terms Privacy - 9 - #ATTENTION#ATTENTION #FRIENDS FROM URL TO IRL: to the Artwork by Brendan O’Shea Joe Verity ponders friends we made in the what it takes to control the internet. digital age

“If we don’t create the thing that kills Dominic Bui Viet pens an ode to our forgotten cyber pals. Facebook, someone else will.” Mark Zuckerberg delivered this ominous message to all Facebook employees, shortly before taking the Most internet-aged youths would no doubt be Wondering if Claire regrets not ever meeting up ------company public in 2012. Establishing aware of the wild and wacky niches that exist in all with him, she remarks “I’m glad he wasn’t crushed a goal of self-destruction may seem corners of the web, and the even more wild denizens by my ghosting and is doing well.” But for all the impermanent exchanges, counterintuitive for what was, and that occupy them. While parents may have thought something truly unique can be found: moments of continues to be, the most used social that the internet was the ultimate anti-social vice, ------friendship unbound by distance and unconcerned media platform in the world — but we were interacting with people across the globe, by the social striations of offline life. Zuckerberg’s rallying cry speaks to an fuelled by the perfect combination of adolescent But for all the impermanent Elijah reflects on his time as part of the exclusive intimate knowledge of the internet’s SOCIAL MEDIA WARS awkwardness and anonymity. From Tumblr to Vampire Diaries fandom. capricious tendencies and the “I didn’t have too many friends [in real life] at has over two billion users, Instagram Inexplicably, the feature bombed on might be the quality of content. When Habbo Hotel, these forgotten internet friends exchanges, something ephemerality of success. Maintaining the time so I guess I just started to make friends boasts over 500 million daily users, all platforms but the latter, where it commenting on one of Snapchat’s had an extraordinary impact on how we grew Facebook users’ discerning patronship truly unique can be found: with some of the people on my dashboard… It was compared to Snapchat’s stagnating found phenomenal success: the app, defining features, the ‘streak’, up, though they are now lost to the binary ether. would require agile anticipation and mostly Aussie [Vampire Diaries] fans who chatted 187 million. So what happened? How which previously lacked any time several USyd students pointed out Like the early dial-up internet of the 2000s, these moments of friendship excessive indulgence of their desires about the show. did Facebook recapture the teenage sensitive features, saw an explosion the inane content it encourages users interactions were fleeting, easily disconnected and by embedding the app into the daily unbound by distance and “After a while I started chatting there every day… market? And will Snapchat be in habitual use, with the number of to create, reducing their engagement made weird noises when the phone rang. habits of millions. and it was my first exposure to real friendship.” relegated to the same unmarked mass daily users skyrocketing from 200 with the app from reciprocal dialogue unconcerned by the social The task at hand would eventually “Recalling a moment that stuck with him to this grave home to Facebook’s previous million to 500 million within six to superficial streak upkeep. ------lead to one of the industry’s biggest striations of offline life. day, Elijah continues, “one of my friends… was competitors. months in 2017. “I am one lost streak away from conflicts: a quest for growth which this American girl. Her background was Iranian; I At first, Facebook seemed either Unlike previous attempts to stifle deleting Snapchat entirely,” said one Claire reminisces about what could have been: sidelined the moral implications remember her teaching me about Farsi and stuff.” naive or arrogant enough to think the growth of Snapchat by getting user, visibly afflicted by some kind of “[He] had a very well-respected Sirius Black Sometimes, the seemingly harmless escapism of user addiction and imitation. “I logged onto Tumblr… after three years and I to new users first, Instagram’s digital Stockholm Syndrome. “I hate themed blog” she begins. Inquiring as to what we engage in online can give us fruitful insights “‘Embracing change’ isn’t enough,” saw a message from her saying ‘Hi Elijah, it’s Sara, stories feature pilfered the attention Snapchat so much, and I hate that made this blog so well-respected, I was assured into ourselves and the nature of others. Zuckerberg declared. “The internet Maintaining I don’t know if you remember me, but I thought of existing Snapchat users. Whilst I can’t stop quantifying it through that he had “a gazillion followers and made a tonne Eric sets the scene, “I was 9 and played a female is not a friendly place. Things that about you the other day. I hope everything’s good.’” Facebook users’ its competitor soared with 150 per streaks.” of good edits”. Cleric on Maplestory. Under the guise of being 16, don’t stay relevant don’t even get The people we meet online can provide us with a cent user growth, Snapchat’s stories The issue of compulsive use is an “I met him through twitter and we used to tweet I met a guy, apparently aged 17 through a party the luxury of leaving ruins. They valuable, but brief, respite from the narrow range discerning feature stagnated; the number of inevitable product of what has been a jokes at each other, [which] was the extent of early quest, and I promptly joined his guild. We hit it off disappear.” of acceptable social currency. Unrestricted by what users posting stories remained static, drawn out battle for users’ time. In the internet friendship to 13-year-old me. and added each other on MSN—chatting until early Zuckerberg spoke from experience, patronship would is ‘cool’, we’re free to revel in our most niche of whilst the amount viewing increased economy of attention, the creation of “But one day he wanted to meet up and this morning light without ever going on video.” having recently emerged the victor in interests, and to express and experiment with our require agile by less than 5 per cent. This setback addictive interfaces have left mental was back when I was more observing of the whole In a twist that exemplifies gender performativity social media’s first decade, as former passions in our formative years. We may never seemed to be only exacerbated health neglected. There is an almost stranger danger thing so I was certain he would better than my untouched Judith Butler readings competitors, MySpace and Friendster, anticipation see them, hear their voice or even know their real by a drastic redesign of the user 40% chance that Australian internet axe murder me and never spoke to him again,” she ever did, Eric continues, “after a few months, he collapsed into obsolescence. But the names but to all of those who have left their mark and excessive interface in February 2018, a move users will access social media more said. confesses that he is a she: a lesbian who was using appetite for innovation was growing on us in the strange world of online communities: which prompted a viral petition to than five times a day, for a total “Years later, there were pics of him [online] her male Dragon Knight to meet other women and amongst users. Facebook had nearly indulgence of thank you, and I hope you’re doing well. reinstate the old design, and a public of at least an hour on average. A totally jacked with better groomed eyebrows come to terms with her own sexuality. My 9-year- saturated the ‘orthodox’ social media circulating Twitter. I clicked on his profile and he old gay self, full well knowing that I’ve also been market, with one billion users by 2012. their desires condemnation from Kylie Jenner British study found that apps such as which wiped $1.3 billion from Snap’s Instagram and Snapchat, which are had like 2,000 followers and no mentions of Harry duplicitous, responds ‘Oh, that’s okay’. She never However, young users in particular Potter or anything similar.” discovered the truth. We haven’t spoken since.” were searching for a platform separate it could outright usurp Snapchat’s market cap. among the most used in Australia, are from their parents’ prying eyes and ubiquity through full scale imitation. “After the Snapchat redesign, I just the most harmful for users’ mental the formalised ubiquity Facebook Two apps were trialled, both ill fated: found it so hard to navigate between health, as both were found to be had come to imply. Two particular Poke, an out-and-out clone, lasted stories and individual messages. It reliable inducers of ‘fear of missing startups emerged as contenders for about 18 months following its launch got to a point where I was not viewing out’—FoMO. One former Facebook this new demographic—Instagram in 2012, and a second iteration, anyone else’s story at all,” said one executive responsible for user growth and Snapchat. Slingshot, lasted about the same USyd student. expressed regret over the methods Change had arrived, and Facebook amount of time until its death in late Whilst Snapchat no longer used to attract users, claiming he had enthusiastically remained committed 2015. seems to be the platform for been “ripping apart the social fabric to ‘embracing’ it. Instagram was By 2016, however, Snapchat had public broadcasting, the number of of how society works” by creating swiftly bought in 2012 for the price almost reached saturation point. The users accessing its chat and direct “social validation feedback loops” of one billion dollars, roughly thirty- meteoric rise which had catapulted messaging features have continued which “programme” behaviour. three dollars per active user. In the platform into competition with to steadily incline. With Instagram Could there by any sign of respite Artwork by late 2013, Zuckerberg would offer Facebook began to slow, and with it, currently piloting its standalone for users now that Facebook is one Robin Eames Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel three the two functionally unique platforms direct messaging app in a handful step closer to claiming its monopoly, billion for his company—a cost of began to converge. With few users of countries however, Snapchat and the bitter contest for users has roughly one hundred dollars per left unclaimed, both platforms could see its last bastion of relevance somewhat quelled? Zuckerberg active user at the time. Spiegel were forced to expand beyond their eroded. would like you to think so. In 2018, declined. His ‘embrace’ rejected, niche by way of imitating each “I’ve already found myself sending the company’s goal is to make its Zuckerberg’s task was singular: other, desperately searching for photos through Instagram in the platforms not “just fun, but also squash Snapchat. new methods to claim their users’ same way I would through Snapchat. good for people’s well being and Five years on, Facebook has attention. I could easily see myself abandoning for society.” For now, perhaps it’s almost achieved its goal — not just Facebook recognised the importance Snapchat in the future,” said another just best to just enjoy the solace so toppling Snapchat, but, in an echo of of ephemerality in posts, and in mid- student. “If you asked me to delete it humbly bequeathed to us. Zuckerberg’s prophecy, creating the 2016, having adopted the informal today, I probably would. I could delete “thing that kills Facebook.” Though slogan “don’t be too proud to copy”, it right now, and not miss anything.” perhaps not yet an existential threat rolled out stories across Messenger, If Snapchat really is doomed, then to its parent platform, which now Facebook, Whatsapp and Instagram. how did Instagram do it? One answer

- 10 - - 11 - #feminism #imissMSN #maplestoryFEATURE Awkward tweens to awkward seens ECONOMICS IS Momoko Metham is frustrated by how complicated instant messaging has become.

1. SEEN 2. THUMBS UP 3. REACTS CHILD’S PLAY You’re making plans with a friend, throwing You send a long message to your friend and Reacts can be interpreted as the tamer form of Baopu He considers the lessons learnt from years of Maplestory gameplay. around ideas about where to eat and when to anticipate an equally thorough reply. They hit the thumbs up, comforting the recipient with meet, only to be hit with the ‘seen’. In most you with a giant thumbs up, the most inflated some form of emoji rather than a confronting, Nothing takes me back to my childhood more than option to me. who am I kidding. If a bunch of ten year olds were cases, seening is a result of the sender having thumbs up. Although they may be agreeing half-arsed thumbs up. The most well intentioned the soft guitar strumming that opens Maplestory’s Another way of making mesos was using real busy hacking the shit out of the game without any nothing to add to the conversation. But other with your message, there’s still an inkling of those include the ‘heart eyes react’ and login screen music. Ten years ago, that very tune world money to buy “surprise boxes” or “gachapon consequences, just imagine how the Maplestory times, the seen is almost sinister, interpreted feeling that you’ve been dismissed. To all who ‘small thumbs up’, perfect for showing some signalled to my brain that I could turn off my real tickets”—a sort of lottery/gambling system which economy was going. Not good. Hackers, from as a rude and inconsiderate way to indicate use thumbs, know it’s equivalent to a “cool”, love when you genuinely mean it, or masking world awareness for at least an hour and immerse sometimes gave you incredibly rare and valuable kids who botted to programmers who straight disinterest or avoidance. “good for you” and “idc”. your disinterest. myself in this brightly lit, colourfully pixellated items. While there was an in-game shop where you up duplicated items and mesos, injected huge world of mages, thieves, archers and warriors. could buy items (mostly cosmetic) using real world monetary excesses into the in-game economy, But as I nostalgically reflect upon my bygone money, perhaps more alluring was the causing the price of goods to sky rocket. Unable to If it wasn’t already hard enough to properly express We carefully navigate our Messenger app to to ‘seen’ feature on MSN, Theo’s dignity was salvaged youth spent in this virtual idyll, I can’t help but unofficial black market, where access the goods needed to sustain level ourselves through the English language, Facebook avoid the awkward ‘seen’-ing of messages, the from romantic heartbreak—as far as he knew, the remember one particular aspect of the game—the you could buy mesos straight growth, legitimate but casual players find Messenger has made communication even more ballooned ‘thumbs ups’ and the triggering green girl could have stayed offline for the remainder of economy was absolutely fucked. You thought the up. However, convincing my it harder and harder to progress through impossible with the introduction of features like bulb of an ‘active’ status when attempting to her MSN days. GFC was bad? Maplestory took it to a whole new frugal Asian parents to spend the game while those with means ‘seen’, ‘thumbs up’ and ‘reacts’. All the possible appear offline. It’s been hard to approach responses to our level. real money on a game was also manage to make more and more. meanings associated with a single action ensures It’s a social media minefield that makes us messages with the same level of nonchalance as we Like all MMORPGS, Maplestory is premised not an option. The game moderators an absence of certainty in our online interactions. nostalgic for the days of MSN, where we could had back in the days of MSN. How did maintaining around levelling up. As you progressed, you gained So what then were hopeless at dealing with Amidst this confusion, our blindsided selves can escape any conversation with a “That was my online friendships get so complex? We went from access to better items, meaning you could fight does a casual the root of the hacking only speculate as to where we went wrong (or friend LOL”, an abrupt “g2g” or an ‘appear collecting emoticons on MSN, personalising our stronger monsters and explore more dangerous gamer do in order problem, preferring right). offline’, where there was no way to tell if someone font and colour combo and exchanging cringey areas with even more lucrative item drops. to make it in the to go on ban sprees “I was talking to a girl for a bit [...] we’d been on had deleted you off their contacts or ignored your hotmail addresses that consisted of at least On paper, the higher level you were on, the more capitalism-on- every now and then a few dates and everything was going well,” says message altogether. one underscore and some form of “xoxo”, to crack-what- instead of consistent my friend Brandon via some hurried texts. “And “Once in grade five, I’d [sic] had a massive interpreting ‘seens’, questioning the ‘thumbs ups’ is-social- maintenance. A major then one day I got left on ‘seen’ and never heard crush on a girl for like a year and word was getting and being ignored. welfare wasteland shake-up in 2010 known as the “Big from her again.” around, so I decided to send her a long message We are left to interpret these features that have Within this experience of Maplestory? Bang Patch” which greatly simplified He tells me he spent the next three months being confessing my love for her,” said Theo, a first diverse meanings and effects, but is it all really were simple, but “Here, take this” a friend levelling up and making mesos seemed ghosted and wondering what he did wrong. year Media and Communications student at the worth it? We face new anxieties of feeling rejected, of mine says, through the to only exacerbate the issue. I quit “I found out that someone had told her that they University of Sydney. ignored and frustrated from over-analysing an valuable lessons in in-game chat, before handing me 10 Maplestory as a disillusioned 12-year-old thought we looked like brother and sister and that “But [I did it] while she was offline, so I wouldn’t online interaction which holds little significance million mesos. Year-Six-me is shook. in 2010. My friend, however, managed to freaked her out. I see her around campus all the have to face her straight away. I think every one of in real life relationships. We now face two options: economics for a child... I ask him how he made his fortune. He make real world money by selling his pimped time and it’s excruciatingly awkward”. my letters was a gif. She never replied.” Without a adapt and make social media speak our second I learnt how to budget told me it was simple—he was hacking out account. language, or perish in miscommunication. the game. Or more accurately, he was Within this experience were simple, but and manage money, “botting”, where you download software which valuable lessons in economics for a child. Because bargain and trade, plays the game for you, allowing the tedious of Maplestory, I first learnt how to budget and process of levelling up and collecting mesos manage money, making sure I never had to spend Reblogging feminism and how supply and dropped by monsters to be fully automated and more than I needed to. I learnt how to bargain and demand affects market much more efficient. In any case, given that it was to trade (once I had enough mesos, I decided to buy Emily Tyrrell reflects on discovering feminism through Tumblr. 2008 and we were edgy primary school kids, it was items from others and sell them at higher prices. fluctuations. probably worded something like “ima m4d h4xxor An investment portfolio, if you will). And I learnt Like most obnoxious young politicos, I loved public ‘debate’ that surrounded posts, as hilariously bad year, ‘still not asking for it,’ on the projector of u n00b l0l ^_~”. about how supply and demand affects market speaking. It gave me the chance to speak my mind insults detracted from the points being made. Footbridge Theatre. By now, I’d read Butler, Stead, “It’s really simple. I can teach you how to do it,” fluctuations. It’s no wonder why UNSW teaches for at least six minutes, uninterrupted, and, even Another related problem would arise when users Plath, and more. I remembered my speech and, he tells me. I’m shaking with excitement and fear. their introductory microeconomics course through better, gave me an excuse to skip maths class. I reblogged loaded images, unwittingly inviting a internally, I groaned. of Maplestory you could enjoy. Just one catch— Excited, because I no longer had to worry about a game (aptly titled Playconomics). would usually debate Auspol but, this time, I had torrent of abuse in the process. A young user may, When I left the lecture theatre, I was confronted just because you were on a certain level, didn’t money, and scared, because I honestly thought I In an ironic twist of events, in 2017, Maplestory taken inspiration from my newest love—Tumblr. for instance, reblog an image without recognising by an enthusiastic student handing out pamphlets mean you could afford everything that level gave was going to get arrested. I thanked my friend, but announced that it was removing the free market I’d spent hours reblogging paint sample poems the image as a symbol; this symbol may support, for a protest. We talked for a few minutes, and the you access to. In order to make any meaningful said I would rather not risk it. from the game. I’d make an analogy with the real and pastel dip dyed hair before she appeared on question or condemn a controversial idea, a fact conversation felt all too familiar. progression in the game, you had to have an ample world, but then again, in the immortal words of my my dashboard. She stood without explanation— lost on the clueless 14-year-old behind the screen. Upon starting university, I have noticed that supply of the in-game currency, known as Mesos. [6:34:57 PM] d3monhuntax34: Y u s0 n00by 0_o friend, “wateva rofl its just a game XDDD”. topless, ‘still not asking for it’ scrawled across her For many users like myself, Tumblr was the students often play Tumblr politics, at least, in As a beginner, your in-game income depends ever1 is doin it l0l chest. I’d been moved before—I’d fawned over medium through which we first made contact with stupol circles. Many of the same dynamics are mostly on monster drops and completing quests. Gillard’s misogyny speech and aced my history progressive politics. Perhaps the most important at play: students argue at one another without Early game, this works perfectly fine, especially [6:35:01 PM] sk4rl4th: Sry but this seems rlly dodgy paper on the suffragettes—but she was different. aspect of this engagement was the fact that it was earnestly engaging with the other side’s argument; since all the armour and weapons you need can :(((( After scanning the comment thread, I reblogged personal. In borrowing an image for my blog, I’d students accidentally stray into the stupol scene, be bought from NPC shops with prices that never her. Then it was decided: in my next speech, I found third wave feminism. I—in my Western without realising what they are walking into; change (a form of government price control [6:35:10 PM] d3monhuntax34: Wateva rofl its just would teach everyone about what I’d just learnt Sydney home, in my Catholic school uniform—was students tend towards virtue signalling, just like perhaps?) But after you pass a certain point, the a game XDDD about feminism. now a feminist. It made me feel knowledgeable, and a Tumblr user who reblogs something without equips you need are no longer stocked in NPC shops, The premise of Tumblr is simple: follow blogs special-and fuck anyone who told me otherwise. committing to the cause represented by the photo. and can only be obtained either by massacring In many ways, he was a victim of circumstance, that you like the look of and borrow photos from Any attack on my newfound ideas seemed deeply As I snap a photo at a rally, add a frame to my profile swathes of a particular monster hoping one of driven to a life of crime by a society that failed hi— these blogs to stitch together your own page. personal. Insult what I understood to be feminist picture, hand around another petition, I wonder: them will drop what you want, or by going to the This pattern inevitably results in certain themes principles, and I’d be ready with my new arsenal of are we reblogging the photo without understanding Free Market and hoping someone is selling what tending to arise and, eventually, dictate the style egalitarian catch phrases. the significance of this act of solidarity? you want at a price you can afford. However, the of your Tumblr. For instance, my Tumblr began as I reblogged the photo of that woman’s body, Like Tumblr dashboards, maybe stupol isn’t the income you generate from questing and monster a strange shrine to A Very Potter Musical. demanding not to be objectified, because it was ideal space for learning about political ideas. But it drops is never enough for the ridiculous prices on Another popular aesthetic was an amalgamation edgy. I knew it was different to the expressions of would be unfair of me to reduce both of them down the Free Market. This is where the problems begin. of Kurt Cobain idol worship and inverted crosses, feminism I’d been taught about in class, although to their worst aspects. Tumblr made me aware Mesos can be made through sheer dedication. donned ‘soft grunge’. Some were solely in the I didn’t exactly know how. In any case, it allowed of inequitable norms and, to some extent, stupol Like any economy, Maplestory does reward those business of taking black and white screen grabs me to project an image of myself through my blog, gives me the opportunity to challenge them. who work hard. And by ‘work hard’, I mean play from movies, insisting that the quote overlaying it an image of a slightly braver, slightly more worldly Let me be clear: I don’t miss Tumblr. But I am the game non-stop for ungodly hours to the point was the most profound thing to be said since the version of myself. I thought I was escaping the glad that I reblogged all those posts, and that I that the real world and the virtual world become last Wes Anderson release. suburban loop but, funnily enough, I’d entered learnt. My speech was ill-informed, but it was a one and the same. I had a friend who created 5 Then there were the political people, who into another kind of echo chamber. Looking back, start. And now, despite its flaws, stupol allows me side accounts, got them all to level 36 where they would broadcast a shallow representation of I think I would still have reblogged the image if I’d to continue the conversation. would play a one-off quest which provided a very their respective schools of thought, and defined understood the debate around it, but I would have valuable scroll, and then transferred that to their themselves in opposition to each other. This been more prepared for the backlash. main account. But as a ten-year-old who could adversarial approach was often reflected in the I saw her again in the first semester of first only play the game on weekends, this wasn’t an

- 12 - - 13 - #INTERNET LOVE Not just one-track minded Search Tumblr Artwork by Andrew Rickert embarks on a journey into the motivations of the transport-obsessed. Lamya Rahman Recommended for you Trending Editor Picks Text Photos GIFs Quotes Links

honisoit Follow honisoit Follow honisoit Follow

Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?

New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to a real “It’s absolutely great being in a group of people that “I WAS JUST TAKING THE SUBWAY HOME IN NYC government and societal structures, income make me feel that it’s not weird to be frustrated and WHEN THE ENTIRE TUNNEL FUCKING EXPLODED inequality, mechanical engineering, architecture, Italian restaurant. scared [when] high-speed aluminium cages fly at AND FILLED WITH FLAMES.” geography, environmentalism, character of #glee #my everything #best day of me, and to be angry at the cultural privileges they “PEOPLE WERE RUNNING AND SCREAMING AND different cities around the world,” and Mickey 2,004 notes are accorded.” I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE.” Joyless praised the community itself, commenting my life #klaine #crying #fhwe3sjdfaj David Bender, a student at the University of This post from Thursday reiterated the group’s that “this group has a steady stream of good content Hull, sent this response to me. He’s talking about function as a hub for transit-related news. “This and one of the least contentious comments sections 13,905 notes New Urbanist Memes for Transit-Oriented Teens, JUST happened so I can’t even find that much about i’ve [sic] experienced”. a viral Facebook Group that now has almost 54,000 it in the news.” The group has spawned careers, furthered honisoit Follow members. The subway fire caused a stampede: though Facebook groups, subreddits, and more. The The group began in March 2017, when discussion TIME reported one person was sent to hospital, this subreddit /r/SubwaySubway, which features in a similar group ‘I feel personally attacked by this humble post had spawned over 200 reactions and 47 theoretical rail networks connecting franchises relatable map’, featuring conflict between urbanist comments within 15 minutes of being posted. It’s a of the sandwich-making chain, was inspired by a honisoit Follow Jane Jacobs and New York city planner Robert Moses, prime example of the usefulness of these groups: discussion within the group. Job listings are posted #larry #larry stylinson #1d #otp spilled over. ranging from week-long discussions about urban regularly, with a spreadsheet that lists regular entry ‘New Urbanist Shitposting’ was born, created by planning methods and gentrification, to breaking and graduate programs in local transport industries. 866 notes Juliet Eldred and Emily Orenstein, both students news for those who want to read about it most. Eldred hopes that “having all of these people at the University of Chicago. The name was soon I posted in the group asking why people joined, in one place who care about issues of affordable changed to ‘New Urbanist Memes for Transit- and what kept them coming back each day. Each post housing, public transit, etc. is getting folks fired up Oriented Teens’, and ‘cross-pollination’ with other requires moderator approval (“[it] makes it much about organizing [sic] around these issues in their groups in addition to a newfound viral status have easier than it would be otherwise,” says Juliet), and communities”. honisoit Follow lead to the group’s 57,000+ members. the painstaking wait for the notification leads to “I don’t expect [the group] to be a political force in Speaking about the size of the group, Eldred notes moments of doubt that my investigation would be and of itself… However, I definitely want to be more “it is way more people than any of us expected to successful. proactive in getting people to support organizations In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states care about a fairly niche topic!” The growth has The responses I received varied dramatically, [sic] in their communities that focus on these issues, meant that “the group definitely has a different feel but everyone had a love for the group and the niche and encouraging folks to pursue careers in planning, that Shawty is wearing the apple now than it did a couple months ago, [though] it content it inspired. James Preiss connected the dots, transit or running for local office.” bottom jeans, the boots with the still feels like a place for interesting, productive, and writing that “public transit is a common thread fur AND the Reeboks with the funny content and conversations.” between many interesting topics: urban planning, straps, what is she some kind of 354 notes four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the 901 notes whole club is looking at her

20,345 notes honisoit Follow The life and death of a pornstar honisoit Follow Nicholas Hulme explores how a gay porn star became a Japanese cultural icon and secured his place in the annals of internet history. honisoit Follow if beyonce had a twin would her On the 2nd of March, the Friday before last, the video sharing site niconico, accumulating over 8 released across Japan, and his likeness appeared name be beytwice internet lost one of its most prominent underground million views. Following the immense and surprising in the Chinese video game Romance of the Three cultural icons. Billy Herrington, a former gay adult popularity of this video, montages and mashups of Kingdoms. #literally #gpoy #about me #lol film star, was killed in a car accident in southern various American gay adult films from the 90s began A cult following developed in countries outside California. Death is always a bit of a sad affair. But to gain traction across Japanese video sharing sites of East Asia, such as Russia. A fandom eventually 1360 notes for many of you, Herrington’s death likely evokes and message boards. developed in Western countries through message little emotional reaction—somewhere in between Many of these mashups were accompanied by boards like 4chan, blogsites such as Tumblr, and hearing that the price of soft serves at McDonald’s soundtracks consisting of soundbites of gay porn, some of the most popular channels on the streaming has gone up by 10 cents and realising you are out of often autotuned and edited to vaguely resemble behemoth Twitch.tv. butter after you’ve already put bread in the toaster. homoerotic plunderphonics. Today, over 110,000 Billy’s death provoked an outpouring of grief from honisoit Follow Herrington’s life, however, cannot be glossed thousand of these ‘gachimuchi’ or ‘gachi’ videos can the underground of the internet, with hundreds over as easily as his tragic but unremarkable death. be found on YouTube. of tribute videos appearing across video sharing Herrington began his life in the adult film industry As the prevalence of gachi grew, so did Billy’s fame sites and message boards. A tribute video to Billy during the late 1990s, appearing in 17 prominent gay across Japan and the stranger sites of the internet. In on niconico accumulated over 80 000 views in less pornography films and becoming one of the most 2009, niconico held an event where Billy, referred than seven days. Billy often commended his fans on recognised faces of gay porn during his decade-long to fondly as Aniki or ‘Older Brother’, was invited their arduous editing work, so it seems appropriate career. It was not until 2007, after his career had to perform onstage. While relatively unknown at that he has been sent off to the fanfare of autotuned ended, that Billy’s life began to veer into the realm home in the US, Billy was filling up stadiums of spanks and groans. of the bizarre. 10,000 people across Japan and China. Thousands Sleep tight, Aniki. #foodporn #OMFG GET IN ME #dramione #ermahgerd #all the feels A clip starring Billy titled ‘Professional Pants of people would come to witness the meme come to Wrestling’ became wildly popular on the Japanese life. Several limited edition action figures have been 1,256 notes 5,678 notes 560 notes

- 14 - - 15 - #tumblr famous #tumblr famous

As he popped to the bathroom at an ice skating *** Follow rink, a group of girls took the opportunity to agirlnamedally.tumblr.com swarm his friends. “Is that Luke Gallagher?” they aesthetic: health and veganism There is no one-size-fits-all criteria for Tumblr excitedly asked—one of Australia’s most prolific followers: undisclosed fame, nor any real way to ascertain who is Tumblr thatsmoderatelyraven.tumblr.com One Direction bloggers. Much like the boyband, archive 2010-today Famous. People from all backgrounds and niches aesthetic: humour Luke’s fan demographic was also teenage girls, and Ally Sheehan doesn’t describe herself as famous. could become one of the greats. Even when users followers: 170k he stood out as one of the few guys willing to admit Tumblr was a place for her to be herself when she began to tailor content to their audiences’ needs, archive 2012-2017 he liked One Direction. “didn’t have the confidence to do so in the real they were still themselves, and still retained an At the time, Luke hadn’t publicised his sexuality. world yet”. unfiltered authenticity not seen since on the He was a commodity that girls fawned over, and But she’s humble. Nearly every second post is a internet. even though he was a “closet case” in love with message from a fan asking for advice, catching up The website is unique in that each user’s follower now solo singer Zayn Malik, his fans didn’t need on her life and fangirling over the latest episode of count is hidden from the public. But somehow a to know that. one show or another. user’s success was made blatantly obvious in other In her first ever text post, Ally wrote about not ways: an Urban Dictionary listing or two in their really knowing what to expect from the site, but name, notorious stories spreading beyond the assured her new blog would “include Harry Potter walls of Tumblr to Facebook or Reddit, repeated and fashion so look forward to that, wew”. And sightings of a URL on posts on the dashboard, that she did, along with pics of Taylor Swift, 90s or simply that the user was the only person ever movie stars and hipster daisies. talked about between you and your friends. In 2017, Peyton Lee logged onto her blog only to discover it had been deleted. The reasons Soon, her blog started to reflect her passions and for the disappearance of her online world was unclear, as she hadn’t broken any policies became an avenue for her to discover and explore a or guidelines. The move followed the “great termination” of 2014, when Tumblr deleted vegan diet, along with daily updates about her life around 10 blogs, which together had an estimated 30 million followers, for contravening more generally. She slowly started building up a It’s archaic, but nostalgic. its ad policy. following of loyal teenage girls who would share in “I felt nostalgic because it was my superpower. Going to school can be discouraging … her embarrassment, her triumphs, her heartaches The blogs left behind, but then you find the one thing you’re good at and it makes you really happy,” she said. and daily updates. remnants of a neglected Peyton, otherwise known as thatsmoderatelyraven, is known for her pronounced “I was probably just a teen with too much time Millie Roberts strolls down memory lane. sense of humour and a viral bird. In her senior year of high school, she made a post on my hands, but being an only child, I loved having past that sit untouched the opportunity to talk to [other] girls about things Content note: mental health, eating disorders, body saying her mum would buy her a fluffy chicken if she got 500,000 notes. they were going through.” or deactivated, image. “I just thought it was funny, but all of a sudden, within a day, I got 25,000 notes. I was like ‘woah … wait a second…’” she said. On Tumblr, she made lifelong friends and are artefacts frozen in time connected “with some of the most beautiful people Before there were Instagram influencers, there Through peaks and troughs in popularity, the post kept resurfacing in memes and alive”, organising face-to-face Tumblr meetups and memorials of former were the Tumblr Famous. Unsuspecting teens petitions. Soon Peyton was 100,000 likes and reblogs away from reaching her goal. On and chatting back-and-forth in the inbox. and young adults who stood out from the crowds February 13th 2013, she hit 500K and also gained 40,000 new followers. For personal lives idolised. At first, it was exhilarating when people reached after accumulating a mass following. Sometimes it reasons, she couldn’t get the chicken, but each year, people continue to message her on out. Sometimes her answers to people seeking was the product of careful curation, but for most the unofficial ‘fluffy chicken day’. Peyton was called a “poser” and a “fake” by anons, for advice would be over a thousand words. others, stardom crept up or was suddenly sprung not purchasing the fluffy chicken. “I took the time to research, to respond and give Prior to its acquisition by Yahoo, Tumblr boasted upon them. Peyton believes Tumblr is a safe space where users can discover what they like and His minority status within the ‘directioner’ fanbase people the best help that I could,” she said. 300 million monthly unique visitors. Now, the Most had no discernible talents—just a good who they are. She says no-one should act differently on the internet, even when gaining propelled him instantly into spotlight. A few At the top of her blog are tabs for ‘life tips’ numbers have dropped down and with it, the power eye, a good sense of humour or a good face. They followers is a motivation. members of One Direction followed him on Twitter, and links to resources for mental health, eating and authority of the Kings and Queens that ruled knew trends better than any marketing team, and Her blog was her diary; her posts as much for her enjoyment as they were for her while former-vlogger-now-singer Troye Sivan disorders, body image and low self-esteem. the domain. Despite an all-time high of registered defined a Tumblr aesthetic that influenced what followers. regularly talked to Luke on Tumblr’s chat function. However, it’s a great burden for any teenager to blogs, the number of consistent, active users are people wore, listened to and talked about. All from “People would wait until I got home from school or practice, so they could hear what Offshooting fame from 1D also inspired some go through those issues, and more so to be the low in comparison. the comfort of their bedrooms. funny stories had happened during the day,” she said. followers to create fan blogs in Luke’s honour first port-of-call for thousands of others when Some of the Tumblr Famous were able to Success on Tumblr wasn’t necessarily as Her fans adored her. Peyton set up a P.O. Box for mail and gifts which fans sent to where they reblogged all of his posts, made edits unqualified. transition to other social media platforms, but numerical as it was interpersonal. A user could accompany their virtual messages. She once helped set up a long-term relationship by of his pictures, gif’d his YouTube videos and even Her inbox would fill with over 30,000 messages, evolving their image was necessary to keep up have tens of thousands of followers but a advising a shy girl to ask her now-boyfriend out for milkshakes. wrote fanfiction about him. not all of which were good. Many people would with the times. Most of these folk retain an disproportionately small amount of notes on their “They’re STILL dating … [people wanted] to hear my stupid advice and I was very “Looking back, my blog was objectively nothing to demand answers, and then become aggressively impressive presence on Instagram, but usually fail posts. Fame stemmed from knowing the person humbled by that.” swoon over in comparison to the work that other interrogative when she didn’t respond. to carry their numbers across to Twitter, where and wanting to engage with them via messages, Being in the spotlight from such a young age also led Peyton to her current career. fans put into their own blogs,” said Luke. “It really wore me down and I experienced a lot like the olden days, a personal voice and stream of reblogs, likes, and if they were particularly lucky, With years worth of experience dealing with criticism towards her online presence, she Despite this, he’d still go to great lengths to ensure of compassion fatigue. I had to remind myself to consciousness is encouraged. through submissions and tags on content made in decided to study PR. his Tumblr was presentable to the people who take the time for my own mental wellbeing. Even more strange is how we’ve diverted away their honour. While she still doesn’t know why her Tumblr got deleted, she’s made the conscious checked in everyday. If he had other commitments, “Wherever possible, my number one from the personality behind a URL back to the use Many were self-taught tech whizzes with slick decision to move on even after the Help Centre revived her account. Her fans, many he would set up a queue for weeks in advance, recommendation is always for people to seek actual of our everyday names. But in a curious paradox, HTML themes, production value gif-making skills of whom had been following her from the start, were devastated. Some followers even to ensure his blog was active and fans were professional help in the real world.” we lap up stylised photos of luxurious lives on and a scary ability to remediate original content pledged to boycott the site in solidarity. entertained. She also received constant abuse from a serial Stories and photo posts without much thought for straight after it was first broadcast. Others literally Each week, he’d host a #phototime session, where sender who pinned their own wellbeing on the inside jokes or daily recounts. shared aesthetic photos or funny text posts that fans would ask questions, and he’d respond with adequacy and speed of Ally’s responses. Ally Tumblr, the site of churning and circulation, made the dashboard scream: “GPOY!!!!!”. Yet all a selfie of him holding random items in his house. acknowledges that these ‘obsessive’ experiences craved the original content and insight produced by knew how to manipulate the cultural zeitgeist in Like all high traction blogs at the time, Luke made have impacted her life in more ways than she’s microcelebrities. Not everyone had the charisma, their favour. the choice to earn profit by placing ads on his blog. publically spoken about and she still processes the wit or even luck to kickstart viral posts. And so The buzz from reblogs, likes and a flooded inbox It was a win-win situation: his followers didn’t emotional effect through to this day. average users settled for watching from afar, was addicting for Tumblr users. In return for all- have to click on anything and Luke could earn an Post-uni, Ally travels the world and continues to participating in the reblog cycle with a click of a nighters and page refreshes, they gained social easy buck simply through page visits. share her experiences on YouTube and Instagram button. gratification, popularity and a ‘cool’ status in cyber At any given point, over a hundred people would stories. Her main ambitions are to “have fun, be As Ally points out, even the title of ‘Tumblr reality. be scrolling through his feed, so he thought it was creative, expand my knowledge and express my Famous’ “feels very reminiscent of the 2012 Die-hard users describe the polar opposite shift “dumb not to capitalise on that”. interests”. Tumblr era”. It’s archaic, but nostalgic. The blogs from being on Tumblr for an exhausting amount of All the attention “definitely gave me a bit of an Nonetheless, she acknowledges in this day and left behind, remnants of a neglected past that sit time everyday, to losing interest or slowly drifting ego,” said Luke, but he assured that he has since age people crave a high follower count. untouched or deactivated, are artefacts frozen in away. What drew people to the Tumblr Famous was calmed down. His time on Tumblr nurtured a high “If you’re looking to grow an audience, just take time and memorials of former lives idolised. their effortless relatability, but ‘being themselves’ thatsmoderatelyraven level of confidence that not only helped him come the time to care about people,” she said. required time, energy and a responsibility not only out, but assists in his everyday interactions. to their image but to people they’d never met. “The welcoming nature of Tumblr, and the One Tumblr helped famous users ‘find themselves’ This is Miranda Cosgrove before and after Direction fandom, let me bloom into the person I during the most awkward and confusing years she got addicted to marijuana. Learn a lesson am today,” said Luke. of their lives, albeit under the watchful gaze of from this iCarly actress and stay away from I MADE THAT BITCH thousands of others. The hours, thought and heavy addictive drugs. criticism they faced were nothing in comparison to vas-happenin-down-under the relationships formed and influence given. They Source: thatsmoderatelyraven .tumblr.com FAMOUS: THE OG were in it for the long haul. aesthetic: fandom followers: 100k archive: 2011-today ALL-STARS - 16 - - 17 - #food #food Culture shock at university Selling our authenticity Sasha Veber reflects on what defines USyd. Janek Drevikovsky just can’t shut up and eat his dinner.

The first time I thought about USyd’s culture, I was students. USyd can only be a home away from week. Timetable clashes mean that even the most In my house, Lunar New Year means lo hei. participating, we internalise in the company of people from another university. home for a select few. dedicated students can’t attend all their classes. We gather, every New Year’s Eve, around the a pattern of culture: who we Among the good-natured insults directed at one One friend who lived off-campus described USyd I have been in courses where the average lecture caesarstone benchtop in my parents’ kitchen. are, who our people are, how another’s degrees and institutions, the topic as “fractured”. Another said: “I don’t really know turnout could be counted on both hands. Uncles and cousins stand poised, armed with the our culture does things. These of university culture came up. When USyd was anything about it.” She said she wasn’t on campus Work commitments keep students away from lacquered chopsticks my mother keeps for nights narratives, through the vehicle mentioned, one guy snorted and said, “What enough to comment. campus life. Last year, Sydney was ranked the like these. My aunt, a fly-in from Singapore, snips of tradition, may appeal to the culture?” With this in mind, I turned to a friend who lives 14th most expensive city to live in worldwide. open little plastic packets fresh out of her suitcase. legitimising weight of the past. But ‘University culture’ is a difficult thing to pin on campus. Residential college prices reflect this, with costs She empties their contents onto a huge platter, they play out in the present, and so don’t down, partly because culture is itself such a broad “You don’t feel like you live on campus,” she that range from $397 to $687 per week. For a neat pile for each ingredient: pickled ginger, actually require a deep historical reality; we concept. Despite this, the phrase has certain said. “It’s not until I hit Eastern Avenue and I see comparison, the most expensive college at the ANU pine nuts, cucumber, turnips, daikon and carrot. just need to believe they do. We need to believe associations that have been handed down to us all the students and the people going back and is $412 per week. Students living in Sydney who are Another aunt adds on the raw salmon she has been that traditions are authentic in their reflection of but our underlying cultural preferences as well. from previous generations and, to an extent, forth to lectures that I actually feel like I’m on partially or entirely paying their own way simply slicing, brandy-soaked and ice-cold. Oil and plum culture and as the bases of our identity. We participate in culture to acquire a sense of through US media. I confess, when I think of campus and part of it.” don’t have the extra time to spend around the sauce are poured over the top. That’s the theory. But there’s something authenticity—and nothing else. university culture I think of an American version And the culture? She linked it to Sydney in University. Because of these costs, many students troubling in current conceptions of authenticity. That’s pernicious. For Adorno and Horkheimer, of college life – of living and breathing campus general: “There is no defined culture – and I don’t choose to live at home through their degree. Add Take my aunt’s reaction to the big lo hei reveal. people held genuine cultural preferences; they activities inside and outside classes. We’ve been think there’s one on campus.” in long commutes, which make getting involved in Made up or not, tradition She could’ve lamented the fraud, or questioned formed those preferences before the rise of the told: ‘It’s a great escape!’ ‘It’s a home away from I got the impression that students had trouble university life impractical or even impossible, and —particularly physical the parts of her identity based on that fraud. culture industry in the mid 20th century. Mass home!’ But for a large number of students, these defining the University’s culture because they you have a recipe for an empty campus. But instead, she felt ripped off. She had bought culture then exploited those preferences, offering claims prove nebulous. didn’t feel connected to the campus. This made For a culture to form on campus, you need ritual—has always been something labelled authentic, and so it should have numbing, emotionally cheap products in place With a student population of over 50,000 sense; even living onsite, the University makes people to actually be spending time there. It seems a thick cultural glue. been. of critical thought. But, with genuine underlying enrolled students as of 2014 and an SRC claiming it easy to stay away from class. Many lectures to me that even with such a large student body, That, increasingly, is what cultural authenticity preferences, the potential for critical thought was to represent over 33,500 undergraduates, USyd is are recorded and lecture attendance often isn’t there just aren’t enough people around to help has been reduced to: pure consumption. at least there. Adorno thought that exposure to high not a small university. However, the Camperdown compulsory. An arts student with 12 contact hours create a strong sense of campus culture. It is now a driver of neoliberal culture industry, art could actualise that potential, and challenge campus residential colleges have housing available could conceivably listen to all their lectures online With each addition, my aunts intone in not a vehicle for actual cultural expression. The consumers to question capitalism. to just under 2000 undergraduate and postgraduate and end up spending only four hours at uni per Cantonese: sun lin fai lok (“happiness in the new need for an air of authenticity underlies the single But now, the culture industry is totalised. year”) and kung hei fat choy (“may you prosper”). Everyone alive today has grown up with it, Then, we toss. Twelve pairs of chopsticks fling We participate in culture amplified by neoliberalism’s extension of market the mixture, competing with one another for the to acquire a sense of mechanics and consumer behaviour to all aspects Food, fun and Facebook highest, and therefore most auspicious, toss. Lo of life. We do not derive any satisfaction from hei, we say, “prosperity toss”. Then we eat. authenticity per se. Instead, we derive satisfaction Ranuka Tandan on an unsettling new obsession. authenticity For Malaysian-Chinese families like mine, lo hei from performing authenticity: we snap, or gram, or is the essence of Lunar New Year. It’s spectacle, —and nothing else. tweet; we spend disposable income and we let it be Tasty videos follow me everywhere. They’re there engaging with popular trends, user feedback, and the train learning how to make sliders four ways, family, prosperity, food and continuity. This is our known. We perform and consume, in a kind of arms when I flick to Facebook during a lecture, when I most importantly, doing more of what gets the instead of doing my uni readings or catching up on culture and its values—as authentic as it gets. origin coffee movement, and the rise of micro- race of conspicuity—who can be seen to be most open the app first thing in the morning, and when most views. By tracking our likes, comments and much needed sleep? Except lo hei was invented in 1964. Four industries, and of backyard art. It’s the need you authentic, and so most active in consumption. I’m drifting to sleep. I have always been bombarded shares, Tasty has figured out we engage more with It comes down to Tasty knowing that food is Singaporean chefs, looking to improve numbers at fulfill when you eat at a restaurant promising This model governs our own, traditional cultural by a wide variety of memes, news and viral content steak and bacon then we do with vegetables (who such a central aspect of our lives—an inherent their new restaurant, developed a ‘seven-coloured unheard of dishes and regional cuisine. Or when practices as well. We used to practise tradition, on Facebook, but it got to the point where Tasty would have thought!). They also hook us in with human necessity—and taking advantage of our raw fish salad’, a combination of different, you buy organic. Or when you listen to indie bands. made-up or ‘authentic’, to achieve a sense of unique videos began overtaking everything else on my a ‘money shot’—whether it’s the cheesy pull of gluttonous desire to consume greasy, baked goods. auspicious ingredients. The dish was served at New It’s a need that thrives on the local, small-scale, cultural identity. Now, it’s all about consumption: News Feed that I realised I had a problem. a pizza roll up, or the slice of a spoon through a The comments on these Facebook videos make Year and proved popular—so popular that diners the niche and the pristine. lo hei, unpacked from its neat, store-bought kits, is “Food that’ll make you close your eyes, lean watermelon raindrop cake, if we’ve seen the end it obvious that food connects people. We tag our developed a ritual to accompany it. By the 80s, lo Adorno and Horkheimer, Marxist theorists of a performance of conspicuous authenticity. back, and whisper ‘yessss’. Snack-sized videos product, we want to know how it was made. friends on posts we want to share with them, and hei had become tradition. the Frankfurt school, argued that capitalism has Last Lunar New Year, I was made photographer. and recipes you’ll want to try.” Tasty’s description A lot has been made of Facebook’s filter—noting to tap into that market is a clever business move Last New Year, I broke this inconvenient truth to developed a culture industry, which mass produces My aunts each handed me their phone, and I of itself isn’t exactly modest. But at 92 million what content people engage with and showing them But under the guise of helping its audience learn my family. My aunts surveyed the empty lo hei kit cultural products. Art, TV, music all follow a staid snapped away while we tossed. Later, the photos followers, and around 2 million views a month, more and more of it. Regardless of whether users to cook, it isn’t a win-win situation. It wasn’t bought in a Singaporean supermarket. “That can’t pattern, designed to satisfy consumers’ emotional went up on WhatsApp, for hundreds of contacts to they don’t need to be. When you consider that are interested in Kermit memes or always so obvious that Tasty was simply in it to be true,” one said. “We paid good money for this!” needs at the cheapest possible level. Narratives see, admire, envy, and outdo. The critical content of there are about 7 billion people living on the planet, articles about Barnaby Joyce, they make money. The occasional ad halfway Traditions, of course, are manufactured all the are repetitive, forcing us into a narrow range of our traditions is consumerism. And so our cultural these figures are certainly no mean feat. Videos can will engage more with content through a compilation video hardly time. So long as they bear the trappings of constancy thought and preventing us from questioning the identities, based in part on those traditions, is be shot and edited in as little as a day, ensuring that has been tailored to them. alerted audiences to the fact or inheritance, they’re easy to spread. For instance, capitalist machine. We end up distracted by a sea consumerism as well. that addicted audiences get their daily dose of new Like these audiences, I crave that Tasty had intentions it wasn’t until 1994 that all States and Territories of safe, easy to consume mass products. Think Which means that, next year, we must buy a kit videos, and stay dutifully interested. the echochamber. I crave other than to bring the marked 26 January as Australia Day. Yet for the of the yearly churn of Marvel films—identical again, and perform more authentically, and use I have 220 videos saved, but I’ve only ever food videos and Facebook joy of food into our bulk of white Australia, the date is so suffused with in basic plot and nothing but cheap, distracting fresher salmon, and toss the mixture higher. feeds them back to lives. But Tasty is actually tried to make two of them. My grand tradition that changing it is unthinkable. entertainment. me. There’s nothing subtly bombarding its visions of weekly meal prep and gourmet weeknight Made up or not, tradition—particularly physical But now, under neoliberalism, it’s not just more satisfying than brand into real world dinners fall apart when the reality of buying all ritual—has always been a thick cultural glue. By cultural products that are uniform and anodyne, the ingredients, setting aside precious time, and watching meals be made products: tailored physically cooking them hits me. It’s not as easy from start to finish in cookbooks, ads for as the videos make it out to be. The experience one minute of satisfying iconic stovetops featured of cooking schnitzel stuffed garlic bread looked stove top glory. in their videos, specific more like utensils strewn across the kitchen and Tasty are good at recipes designed around half-cooked ingredients falling apart than it did in what they do. Cooking shows kitchenware product placements the seamless process I’d watched so many times have been around since the beginning of and collaborations with foodies for beforehand. The end product tasted good, but it television itself, but their conventional model is one mutually beneficial visibility. didn’t look anything like the Tasty video. I was of half hour long broadcasts, and their traditional I wonder how long these videos will be disappointed, but I wasn’t surprised. association is with housewives and retirees. What around for. This time next year will they have faded I’m not just talking about one Tasty page here. Tasty has done is tap into a younger market, into non-existence? Sitting in my current filter- Tasty Japan, Tasty Demais, Tasty Einfach, Proper recognising that millennials have a thirty second bubble, I simply can’t imagine that. But I’m sure Tasty, Tastemade, Goodful, Vegan Richa and attention span, and not a lot of time on our hands. that in a few years’ time, a Tasty video will pop up Buzzfeed Food all play a part in stimulating my They’ve nailed the Facebook format, and they’ve as a memory on my feed and I’ll get that bittersweet obsession. Tasty Vegetarian was the best thing that nailed their targeted demographic. burst of nostalgia; a throwback to the days when I ever happened to my cooking tutorial dreams, but It’s interesting to pick apart why watching use to watch a pair of hands cook a perfect meal in despite the fact that I don’t eat meat, nothing stops chicken and spinach pull-apart bread is so under a minute. But then I’ll scroll past it and fix me from watching one video after next of meatball relaxing, even though the amount of cheese and my attention on whatever I’m addicted to next. Artwork by stuffed garlic bread and honey chicken stir-fries. cream used in every American video makes me Momoko Metham Tasty has been built on experimentation, feel physically sick. Why do I waste all my data on

- 18 - - 19 - #unlucky in love #deviantart BEFORE THERE Opening my DeviantArt vault Jess Zlotnick invites you to inspect a very private collection.

When Harry Potter approaches the wizarding 2010 2013 WAS TINDER bank Gringotts, he’s met with imposing, sealed vaults. They swell with treasure, mystery and Janek Drevikovsky (M, 21) WLTM reader, intelligent and open-minded, for article pure magic. When he first opens his vault, it’s a on personal ads. momentous occasion. I have descended into the depths of a very different sort of Gringotts. I stand before a sealed door, poised to see what’s inside. Let’s open my DeviantArt vault. So you’re a quirky millennial. A literary type, if you’re lonely or horny or a combination of the burdened by self-doubt and that novel you’ve been two. Someone writes back, sending a letter to your 2009 planning—or would have been planning, except forwarding box. You become pen pals, exchange that cat videos require so much of your time. You’re photos, maybe you meet up. You end up regretting not big on romance, and you ‘ironically’ watch The everything. Bachelor. Tinder is a joke, because otherwise it In most publications, personal ads have a lifeless would be terrifying. Your bio is a piss-take (that’s choreography. Men are “well-built”, women, why you don’t get matches), and maybe you’ll “seductive”. Eyes “sparkle”, smiles are “radiant”. delete your account soon. Maybe you’ll delete Lonely hearts fill in a questionnaire, detailing It sure does, 12 year old me, it sure does. This Facebook too. Maybe you’ll sell your phone and buy their attributes. Then an ad agency weaves those one is perhaps my favourite from 2010. a kikki.k journal. Oops, you already have six. attributes into a string of beige adjectives, designed In my first year of high school, I took to spending Whatever you do, don’t buy a copy of the London to get someone to take their trousers off in the my lunchtimes in the library. Not for the books. Review of Books (LRB). Do not open to the classified same room as you. Fuck the books. The computers there were loaded page. Do not read the personal ads. Because you The LRB is above this. Each ad is art, and the ad up with Adobe Photoshop, so I spent my lunchtimes will realise that your way of life, every ironic thing posters are writers. Some call Rose, the personals’ drawing. you strive to be, has already been perfected. By curator, dozens of times to discuss the wording of I learned to work to a deadline, because the people who don’t use the internet. Who outdo you their ad. It has to be witty, literary, well-written, school computer system didn’t really handle by light-years in cultural skepticism, intellectual because the LRB’s readership are the most self- saving documents or files between login sessions. anxiety and hidden earnestness. They fumble into important criterati on the planet. The stakes are 40 minutes to churn out a piece of art. Just me and quixotic love-quests, laying their hearts bare in high, but the result still better than your blogspot: the Year Four boys playing Halo. These are the last two pictures uploaded to my a printed column of 30-word adverts. Take this gallery, from 2013. One is a semi self portrait (done Casanova for example: An ancient Czech legend says that any usurper 2011 after I was sorted into Slytherin on Pottermore) who places the Crown of Saint Wenceslas on his and the other is an original character inspired by Normally on the first few dates I borrow head is doomed to die within a year. During World popular DreamWorks movie The Croods. I haven’t mannerisms from the more interesting people I War II, Reinhard Heydrich, the Nazi governor of done art like this since then. know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes the puppet Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia, It kind of warms my heart to see that at a certain from them along with concepts and ideas from secretly wore the crown believing himself to be a point I stopped watermarking my work as SailorGoth obscure yet wittily-written books. It makes me great king. He was assassinated less than a year and started signing it with my own signature. I appear more attractive and personable than I later by the Czech resistance. I have many more guess I started wanting to feel accountable for work actually am. With you, however, I’m going to be stories like this one. I will tell you them all and we that isn’t terrifyingly anatomically correct. I never a belligerent old shit from the very beginning. will make love. Man, 47. Box no. 6889. did learn how to draw hands though. Oh well. That’s because I like you and feel ready to give you I’m glad that this treasure trove of bad artistic honesty. Belligerent old shit (M, 53). Box no. 6378. There is intrigue in this literary levity. Minds can choices exists. Doing crap art for a while lets Walks are “long” and invariably “on the beach”. meet, thrust together in the halls of the English When I was twelve years old, I stumbled upon you do less crap art later. I was part of an online The LRB has run personal ads since 1998, but the Dinners are “candlelit”. These are tired charades, canon, trading witticisms and bodily fluids. Like a community of YouTube artists who uploaded community that gave me access to art that inspired phenomenon dates to the 19th century. These ads prescribed by gender norms and beauty standards. when your Tinder match is also a fan of that awful speedpaints of themselves drawing their ‘personas’. me to get better; art that still sits, waiting, in the work a bit like Tinder, only slower. You post an ad indie band you like. In fact, an anonymous LRB old In this community, your persona was your avatar, vaults of other Deviants. hand said he answered ads precisely to unravel This is the first work I drew with my tablet. Why an easily recognisable and reproducible version of Go have a peruse. If you dare: Minds can meet, thrust their mysteries. He ending up meeting three is this lady thinking (^v^) when her expression is yourself. Inspired by their art, I opened up MS Paint joy-pedler.deviantart.com different advertisers, though the literary games so blank and haunted? Art is subjective, folks. together in the halls of and got to work on my own persona. Did I really were at times underwhelming. One advertiser, this After about a year and a half of work, I realised know what a persona was? No. If I had known, the English canon, trading old hand said, “was a bit of a sham, punching a my art wouldn’t get anywhere unless I had is this a reflection of what I would have wanted little above his cultural weight if he was advertising something the experts were calling a ‘tablet’. I had witticisms and bodily that persona to wear? No. Why was I so pure and in a LITERARY journal”. my dad drive me to JB Hi-Fi, where I picked out the unquestioning? Unknown. fluids. Ultimately though, these are gentle, very weird best (read: cheapest) tablet available. I treasured I uploaded this image to DeviantArt on 2 August souls, hoping for a moment of collision as they my little Wacom Bamboo tablet, and it opened up a 2009 under the username Sailorgoth777, which is travel alone through the dark void. Which means it’s whole world of possibilities. The result is as you’d expect: as LRB advertising why a subtle “SailorGoth!!!!” watermark graces all about sex. Hopefully good, literary sex—angsty Paint was replaced with a 30-day free trial of editor David Rose points out, the main complaint the bottom of this piece. But this was not to be the like Kierkegaard, detached like Foster-Wallace, Paint Tool SAI, which I used every day from the received by personal columns is that, in person, end of Sailorgoth777, indeed two further iterations but, like Tolstoy, rubbing all the right spots and moment it was installed. Eventually the 30 day trial ad-posters don’t live up to their self-description. were to follow. lasting forever. And if sex doesn’t happen, then the ran out, which meant I could still use the program But in the LRB, this isn’t an issue. Everyone has These were the first steps into the world rather LRB advertisers can always claim it was a glorious, but couldn’t save any of my works. I worked around already suffered all the disappointment life can than a commitment to a style and character. I think literary joke to begin with. Just like a deflective it by leaving my works-in-progress open all the offer: weedy academics, depressive publishers, it really speaks to my hubris that I felt the need quirky Tinder bio. time. I wouldn’t shut down my computer unless I’d overweight historians and decrepit geriatrics — to put a copyright watermark in the bottom left of finished the work and had screenshotted it. weary bookish types who are used to the world not both artworks. Sexually, I’m more of a Switzerland. measuring up to the perfection of literary fiction. Certainly no time for six-packs or waists: Sex or no sex, literary game or cri de coeur, the LRB personals know one thing. They’ve been doing I’ll see you at the LRB singles night. I’ll be the one this ironic, self-conscious and quirky dating-by- Sorry, you’ve reached the end of your dashboard. breathing heavily and stroking my thighs by the correspondence thing a lot longer than Tinder has ‘art’ books. Asthmatic, varicosed F (93) seeks M to been around. And they’re much better at it than 30 with enough puff in him to push me uphill to the you. Oh how they laugh from their ivory towers. post office. This is not a euphemism. Box no 4632.

OMG! This magazine is the shizz. Seriously, dudes. That is an honesty absent from most personal Awesome! LOL! Classics lecturer (M, 48). Possibly columns. In fact, at many newspapers, the out of his depth with today’s youth. KTHX! Box no. personals are not written by the ad-poster at all. 2680.

- 20 - - 21 - PUZZLES LIFESTYLE

QUICK Somewhere only we know: Deep Tea TARGET Sunsets Diving Artwork by Ranuka Tandan catalogues the sunsets of the Blue Mountains. Jess Zlotnick

It’s 6pm and I fire the ritual words into the group chat: ‘Anyone want to sunset?’ The stupol family barbecue ‘Me.’ SRC council is like a family barbecue. No one ‘Me.’ wants to be there, the conversation is all about ‘Me.’ politics, everyone hates everyone else and it’s ‘Leaving now. Pick you up in five.’ everyone’s wish for the whole thing to get And so we drive up the mountains, towards cancelled. whichever west-facing rock, ledge or lookout Which is exactly what happened to the stands out on that particular evening. To watch SRC’s most recent shindig. Last Wednesday’s the sunset. council meeting was declared inquorate due to This Blue Mountains tradition spans year underwhelming attendance. groups, friend groups, seasons and days of the Councillors were creative with their excuses, week. Throughout high school, from the moment like the time you avoided your aunt’s baby Target Rules: I got my license, it’s been a constant in my life. It shower by claiming you were allergic to babies. is defined by its spontaneity and rewarded by the Manning Jeffrey of the Libs (definitely not the Minimum 4 letters per word. 16 words: sacrilegious, 20 bonding experience of watching the sunset above Mod Libs as he was keen to assure us) sent his words: redeemed, 24 words: blessed, 28 words: angelic the boundless mountains, valley and bush. apologies, saying he had an exam the following In the winter, beanies and blankets accompany day. Jeffrey must study some high-intensity us to the lookouts; in summer, cold beers and units to already have exams in Week 1. ciders. We talk about everything from the colours President Imogen Grant was feeling the love, of the sunset to the future of world politics, the though less like Simba and Nala, and more HSC, what we’re going to do when we finally ‘grow like your weird uncle who lives in Nimbin and up’. Sometimes we don’t talk at all. brings weed to your grandmother’s birthdays. Sunset can be code for “I need to talk about my “Attending Council gives me an MDMA- problems”. It can be an excuse to meet up with esque high,” Grant declared in a Facebook people you saw a few hours ago, but like enough post after council was postponed. “Let’s have Across Down to hang out with all night. For me, it’s a way to all 33 councillors attend next week so we can explore the place I grew up in, to spend time in all experience the high together!” This little 5 Sonic the Hedgehog villain (6) 1 Milk and moisturiser are nature despite the ten assignments I’ve yet to hand mermaid thinks it’s more likely barbecue 7 Green spirit (8) examples of this (8) in. attendees were experiencing the high in the 9 Brined cheese (8) 2 Lacking recognition (6) There’s something relaxing and hypnotic bathrooms at the Royal after learning their 10 Sportswear brand (6) 3 Coffee (8) about watching the sunset from beginning to end, Wednesday night was suddenly free. 11 Coelacanth, etc. (6,6) 4 Incredible (6) immersing yourself in it. We arrive under the quiet Family matriarch and council secretary 13 Short sleep (6) 6 Seriousness (8) of daylight, but within ten minutes the sky is alive Julia Robins tried rescheduling council to this 15 Pacific, Atlantic, Indian (6) 7 I, Robot author (6) with colour. Wednesday. To do that, she needed 15 councillors 18 Bread (12) 8 Type of earring (4) Some days we choose Flat Rock, some days Mt to email her asking for a new meeting. After 21 Underground passage (6) 12 Disturb (8) Hay. Sublime Point, Martin’s Lookout, ‘Faulco’ several desperate requests, only ten councillors 22 Type of belt (8) 14 More acne-ridden (8) Point, ‘Glenny’ Gorge. had replied by Saturday night. Shame that, 23 What beauty is only (4-4) 16 Opposite of boring (8) Flat Rock is my go-to lookout. Officially named under the SRC regs, Robins needs to announce 24 Medical journal (6) 17 There might be a storm in one (6) ‘Lincoln’s Rock’, it has expansive views of the a meeting with five business days’ notice. Looks 18 Malaysian state (6) Jamison Valley, which changes colour as the sunset never fails to remind me that, as beautiful as these lookouts are, they can also be deadly. like the stupol family will have this Wednesday 19 Almost (6) progresses. The rock itself is beautiful, and there’s free as well! 20 Bit of a depression (4) plenty of bush around it to explore. If you’re driving Sublime Point doesn’t really need an explainer— west up the mountains to get there, you’ll be able it’s in the name. You can see the Kings’ Tableland, the Three Sisters (without the busloads of tourists) to watch the whole show. Real family barbecues Martin’s Lookout, in my home town of and Mt. Solitary from here. While there’s pretty SUDOKU well-kept ‘official’ lookouts and walkways here, Meanwhile, outside the halls of power, real ANSWERS Springwood, is my lookout of choice when it’s my best memories of watching the sunsets are students have been feasting on real barbecues already late in the evening and I don’t have enough up and down lawns of this University. Clubs and time to drive to Wentworth Falls or Katoomba. scooting down the dodgy dirt paths and rubble on the side of the mountain and sitting inside the societies launched their social programmes with The view, overlooking the Sassafras Gully, is Wednesday sausage sizzles. This little mermaid spectacular. There are symbolic peculiarities about crevice of a rock face. It’s secluded, and apart from the wind blowing through the trees, dead quiet. heard a sizzle held by Gaius Gracchus, the it too, like the Christian cross across the gully that Ancient History and Classics club, was nearly victim to a bout of botulism when the USU rental barbecue failed to heat up. Good thing the Australian Union of Jewish Students was on hand with a back up burner! Hope the Romans ate kosher sausages!

Crying in the club Quick Cryptic This Honi mermaid has heard whisperings of an unknown “deal” in a “club” between Finch the Binch (Lachlan Finch of the Libdependents) and Wherrett the Ferrett (Connor Wherrett from Unity, Labor Right). Whether these mysterious happenings occurred at a University ‘club’ on campus, or at a nightclub in Havana, this writer has no idea. Both men are tipped to run as candidates for Union Board, so our best bet is to expect a preference deal between them, if these two are still allies by election time.

- 22 - - 23 - SRC REPORTS SRC CASEWORK HELP

retention, we will see the standards and viability one million dollars. These VCs are accountable to of regional and remote universities eroding. No university senates, which far from being places of President longer would a degree from any member our student and staff democratic governance are more public university system have standing locally and akin to corporate boards of management overseeing CENTRELINK: Imogen Grant internationally. the operation of large enterprises. We see military, The interests of the university are also shifting pharmaceutical, biotech and fossil fuel industries On Wednesday March 21, your SRC will be towards working for private and corporate interests driving commercial research and learning agendas. Qualifying for Payments protesting with students across the state and the – not only in the form of research partnerships, At the de facto privatised university, degrees country in the National Day of Action. This NDA, but also by abandoning the civic role of universities and research are products for sale; students are called by your National Union of Students, has a and focusing solely on accrediting graduates for consumers; and academics are entrepreneurs and demand to ‘Fund Books not Bombs’. This is because work in the private sector. Despite the turn towards service providers. If you are a full time student at unreasonable to live at home. the Liberals are intent on cutting $2.2 billion from ‘industry relevant’ degrees, we still see thousands So fight back against cuts to higher education the University of Sydney, and an AGE: 22 years or over, regardless of universities whilst, at the same time, providing a of graduates struggling to find work or working in sector and the sordid state of universities. Australian resident, you may be whether you live with your parents. $3.8 billion handout to weapons manufacturers. dead-end jobs. Come out and protest at 1pm on the New Law eligible for a Centrelink payment. These changes constitute a significant attack on The violence of the contemporary university is Lawns on March 21! Follow the link here for the Students who are Aboriginal or SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES: students who are already struggling to make ends also seen in a radical change in the experience of Facebook event - https://www.facebook.com/ Torres Strait Islander may be eligible meet and pay back their debts. Australian students those at university: precarious employment for events/108878696574470/ for Abstudy. The other two student Includes being a refugee; orphan; already pay amongst the highest fees in the OECD casual staff, the measure of workload, a competitive Feel free to email me at [email protected]. payments are Youth Allowance (if you currently or previously in state care; INCOME: Of course conditions apply to to attend a public university where we have the and performance based experience, student stress au if you have any concerns or wish to get involved are under 25 when you apply) and have or have had a dependent child; each of these options, so ask an SRC second lowest level of public investment in the and anxiety, enormous class sizes and so on. with the SRC. If you are experiencing any academic, Austudy (if you are 25 or older when or parents are not able to exercise Students who are from Centrelink’s Caseworker for help. tertiary system. In today’s higher education sector, Vice- personal or legal issues and wish to seek the advice you apply). There are many different their responsibilities (e.g., in prison, idea of remote and regional areas Centrelink is a difficult place to With funding increases from 2020 being in Chancellors are re-cast as CEOs with salaries over of an SRC caseworker or solicitor, contact us at conditions, and requirements, so in mental institution), you will be (check http://bit.ly/2F547Ff for a deal with at the best of times. The accordance to performance indicators, such as 9660 5222 or [email protected]. have a look at the SRC leaflet “Can I considered independent. definition) and who, over a 14 month bureaucratic hurdles are so high get a Centrelink Payment as a full- period, earned 75% of the Wage Level that many people walk away without time student” for more details. EMPLOYMENT: A of the National Training Wage getting the payment they deserve. tickets, theatre tickets, dinner vouchers and more! If Centrelink considers you usyd.edu.au to see a lawyer. If you’re having trouble Schedule (from 1 July, 2017 to now Read all of the letters from them, dependent on your parents, their Working for an average of 30 hours a finding our offices visit: srcusyd.net.au, that amount is $24,836), or worked notify them of any changes in your General 4.Keep in the loop: Check out our reports in Honi income will determine whether or not week over an 18 month period in the 15 hours a week or more for two years. life (e.g., address, who you live with, you can be paid. This is whether or last 2 years. 2. Your guide to uni life: Counter-Course Soit and subscribe to our monthly newsletter relationship status), and if you speak Our reports in Honi Soit are one of the most not they give you any money. Secretaries For students, by students, Counter-Course is UNREASONABLE TO LIVE AT HOME: to them on the phone, ask them for a important ways of staying in the loop with the RELATIONSHIP: Nina Dillon-Britton and Yuxuan Yang your insider’s guide to University. It has everything receipt number for the conversation, important work the SRC has been doing. They’ll from the best place to take a shit on campus, to It is not possible for you to live in the so you can hold them accountable for let you know things like we gave 1500 bags full of INDEPENDENT Being in a marriage or “marriage As our way of welcoming you to the new year, how to access free health services, save money family home due to extreme family what they said. SRC information and other goodies away, and that like” relationship where you meet we’ve put together a list of all the things you need and navigate your faculty and the University breakdown; or the risk of someone we had Counter-Course has been translated into There are a few ways to be a number of conditions including to know to get through the year, and a bit of info administration more generally. (not necessarily you) experiencing If you have any questions at all about Chinese for the first time. considered independent: age, sharing finances, and the social and about how to get involved with us! If you Google “Counter-Course Usyd 2018 ” physical, mental or sexual abuse; or Centrelink send an email to: special circumstances, employment, public aspect of your relationship. you’ll find both our English and Chinese versions. your parents are not able to provide [email protected]. Another great way of keeping in the loop is to relationship, income, and being 1. Your safety net: SRC Casework and Legal Service suitable housing. If you get in trouble with the law, or with the 3. Staying in touch: Our Facebook Page subscribe to our monthly newsletter, which will University, our dedicated professional lawyers Our Facebook page is a great way to get involved let you know the specific upcoming events and and caseworkers are here to help. To set up an with the SRC and keep in the loop with what we’re the thigns we’ve been working on. You can do that appointment call 9660 5222 or email help@src. working on. If you like it before the end of Week 2 here: https://ninadillonbritton.typeform.com/to/ usyd.edu.au to see a caseworker or solicitor@src. you’ll go into the running to win a prize of movie eDJibx. THE 2018 SRC Ask Abe SRC caseworker HELP Q&A budget to be created to fund such events, we Event Schedule promise that student money is put to good use in YEAR PLANNER Special Consideration: Student the benefit of students who can feel more welcome 28th of March 5 pm What happens if I get sick living on campus. Seminar on how to find affordable student Housing Being a diverse team of four housing officers housing with two of us being international students, we Speakers: NSW Police Force, Housing expert Available for FREE! Abe, You could take that opportunity to ask understand the importance of having a welcoming with over 15 years’ experience what you missed out on, and how you Officers university experience. We also understand the Venue: To be announced • Important University dates & deadlines What is the deal with being sick? Do can catch up. I need to tell my lecturers / tutors if I Brandon Hale, Jacky He, Shanshan Guo financial difficulties of being able to live in student • Clear layout of teaching weeks, non-teaching weeks and exam periods can’t come to a class? If you are sick for an assessment and Mieko Wang housing and because of this we believe the university administration needs to make student housing 23rd or the 30th of May 6 pm • List of services and activities offered by your SRC you should apply for Special more affordable. We will fight for the student Student Housing Social Drinks Sick Not Tired Consideration. You now only have Welcome students of 2018! This year’s student housing to be more affordable and we encourage Venue: Hermann’s bar • Calming aquarium background! 3 working days after the due date housing team aims to have a productive year to students, even those not living in student housing to apply online. Do it as early as you make student housing affordable and accessible for to join us in this fight. Petition Signing – Held at Various Times throughout can. Late applications may not be all students. We aim to achieve this goal through As a team that believes very strongly in getting the Year Dear Sick Not Tired, considered, so get it in on time (unless a wide range of events for students to learn about things done we have a created a list of events and extreme circumstances prevent that). their housing options and interact with other initiatives. Without further ado here below is our Main Times: 12th/26th March Union Day, 21st Most subjects have a rule where if you Please note that if you are given a students who are in or are looking for student plans for this year: March National Day of Action, July/August O-Week, miss 20% or more of your classes you supplementary assessment, and you housing, to foster a sense of community in the and various other major times during the year might be given an Absent Fail grade. are too sick to attend, you should apply on-campus community. With a far more extensive That is regardless of what your marks for Special Consideration again. You are for any assessments. If you are may be given another supplementary going to miss a class it is advisable assessment, or a DC (discontinue not uni. The hardest for all undergraduate student, but Over the next few weeks, we’ll be planning for to get a Professional Practitioner’s fail) grade. incredibly so for ATSI students who statistically the year ahead. We’re hoping for more social and Certificate (the University’s format Indigenous are prone to unfortunately drop out across the community activities and can’t wait to meet and see for a doctor’s certificate) from In the future it might be appropriate following months. To all the mob, if you are you all! your doctor. It is advisable to see a for you to ask your unit of study Officers experiencing doubts about uni, or are finding it doctor on the day you are unwell. If coordinator for a simple extension challenging, get in touch with us or the Mana Yura Jackson Newell, Holly Kovac and Akala your doctor is unavailable consider of up to two working days. This is team who will be able to help. Newman getting an after hours home visit an informal arrangement and only It’s great to see our fellow Indigenous students doctor. Check online for details. It is applies to non-examination tasks. are up positions as mentors to new student, good manners to email your tutor to G’day mob! Welcome back for another semester. commonly the program is known as MOBS, and explain that you will not be in class. Abe Over he last few weeks our Indigenous freshers is another step the Mana Yura team has taken to Planners are available from the SRC offices: have taken part in the amazing pre-uni prep ensure Indigenous undergraduate retention and Cadigan Program setting up all new undergraduate Level 1, Wentworth Building, City Rd. The Ask Abe column runs in every edition of Honi Soit. It allows you to ask whatever question you might have success. that affects you as a student, gaining the best advice that a very worldly mutt can give. ATSI students to succeed in the first semester of

- 25 - Ranked: ///// hunny ////////////// Uni Life: Arts Faculty Increase Warm Things from Warm to Late Penalty from 2% to Five Warmest Big Spanks from Daddy Spence Jamie Weiss Warmth Expert I Keep Eating Poo and Expelling Food Katie Thorburn Naughty Student The glow from the computer scared to comply, but even more final blow. I can’t bear it. Is this Pizza fresh screen in front of me demands afraid to refuse. what it feels like to wait for a the utmost attention. There’s a He takes my wrist and student’s late assignment? from the from my Bum and Now I Run a Five Star harshness in my throat where bends me over his lap. My train of thought is broken a copious amount of coffee has “This is going to hurt more than by one final spank. A thunderous oven slid down. It’s a mere minute trying to comprehend Judith clap that sends shockwaves Restaurant with Gordon Ramsay and between making and breaking Butler,” he gleefully announces. trembling through my body, and it. I frantically go through the I feel him raise his hand, a soft then it’s all over. My backside Blood TurnItIn options. I click upload. brush of air bouncing off my aches as I lift myself off Daddy How You Can Too 12:01am­ strikes. “Oh no!” I think bottom. Spence’s knee. Danni Paradiso & Alex Richmond Anal Gourmands spend hours sitting on a toilet kids—their chips. to myself—it’s two minutes late “Whack!” goes the first strike. “Now, I hope not to see you in the back kitchen wondering It’s not like I’m that different, and the Arts faculty has just Then another! And another! when the take home exam is Wynyard From my work bench I can Three-Michelin star restaurant. what I was doing with my life. maybe we’re all like this. Maybe upped the late penalty. “Oh, Daddy!” I scream as he due,” he says with a twinkle in experience it all. The smell of the There is a cry of excitement One day he discovered me the potential is built into all of I knock on the Vice strikes my supple skin for the his eye, showing he really does Station on kitchen wafting in from behind from one of the tables ahead of there, sobbing, pants around us. A few years ago I’d call eating Chancellor’s door. It creaks fourth time. Only one more sweet want to bend me over his knee a Friday me; the sounds of my partner me. Someone has just received my ankles—and that’s when he poo to make a sponge cake open and I step inside. belt before my punishment is again. Gordon Ramsay screaming their meal and, without wasting said something that changed my crazy! Now, I call it Tuesday. “Are you ready for your up—but it doesn’t arrive. I smile coyly, walk out of his profanities at one of the younger a second, is devouring its rich life forever, “You’d be better off So I guess the real lesson is: the punishment?” His voice booms I’m splayed across his lap, office and step into the Quad, chefs. He’s meats. The other diners at the eating the shit you made in that next time someone is cruel to as he swings his chair around. shaking, waiting for that already planning to submit my The Sun rough table had been stoic and polite all bowl than eating the shit you you, stand up for yourself and tell I gulp when I see him: take home exam late. and he’s evening, but are now laughing at make in my kitchen.” Little did them who’s boss. The Daddy Spence. Clad in tough, but their friend’s eagerness. Their we know how right he was…. next time someone leather. His prized he knows excitement brings a smile to my “Order up,” I hear Gordon hurts your feelings, (and fake) Picasso My puppy’s better than face. That’s why I do it, I think call from behind me, breaking get up in their face looms above his head. anyone how to myself, as I take a piece of poo my reverie as he slips me a piece and make “I’ve been a naughty glorious to run a and put it in my mouth. of paper. I look at it and sigh. yourself girl, Daddy Spence, tummy Popping a squat over a Someone ordered from the kid’s known. I deserve punishment.” porcelain bowl, I unclench my menu. I take out a spoon and And the He gestures for me porcelain buttocks and a marble- fortify myself: I’m not going to next time to come hither. I’m graded wagyu steak with garlic lie and say I enjoy the sensation, someone butter slips out of my crack and I’m no coprophage. But the life tells you to onto the plate. it’s afforded me is more than eat shit? Gordon was the one who first I ever thought I’d have. I get Well, maybe showed me the way. I began as ready, bracing myself against you should. one of his kitchen assistants the walls over a bowl. From my cheeks spit thick chips, fried High Risk: My and, to put it simply, he was Please Help: Is my Boyfriend a Sneakerhead or not a fan of my cooking. He with a golden crust and salted. Mum is Looking would torment and berate me, The salt stings my anus but the Just a Foot Fetishist? to the point where I would chips need flavouring and the at a Photo on My Phone, One Ann Ding Columnist My boyfriend and I once Now, I understand foot feel aroused when every second Swipe Away enjoyed a healthy relationship. fetishism. It’s pretty standard. thrust is accompanied by him Our apartment was tidy and Apparently it’s the most common yelling “Don’t scuff them!” Fuck, It Seems Like Mike is Really Going Through From My Nudes we shared the responsibility body part to have a fetish for. Recently we were having what >> pg. 9 for keeping it clean; we loved But this? This is something I I hoped would be a romantic Something. I Hope Someone Messages Him. cooking together and hanging don’t know how to deal with. dinner, followed by a walk along Nick Harriott Casual Acquaintance out at home, as well as doing our the bay. Instead of appreciating teed up to take care of this—like thing he needs right now. own thing; we enjoyed a robust how nice I looked or how lovely Ben! Definitely. Ben’s going to Oh Jesus, it’s been ten minutes and adventurous sex life, and we the evening was, though, all he message him for sure. Ben lives now and it’s still only got two enjoyed it often. did was stare at the “fresh CDG for this shit. likes. That’s not great traction. Lately, though, some things x Nike kicks” on the feet of a girl You know what, I’ll wait it out. Fuck, Ben hasn’t even liked it? have been bothering me. The at another table. Stuff like this always comes in Come on, man. I really thought constant new-shoe smell in I’m at a loss. We no longer go ebbs and flows, and if Mike writes there’d at least be a comment our apartment, the increasing out dancing because he refuses another status in the next day or by now. Even just from Mike’s number of streetwear groups When we have sex, he asks me to to bend his toes while wearing so I will definitely send him a sister or something. my boyfriend is joining online, wear a particular pair of shoes, his shoes. Our fridge is empty God, I’ve seen some cries for him because it seems like he message. I don’t want to jump Yikes. I just wish there was and the way he licks his recently like the 2017 Adidas x Daniel and our rent is unpaid because help before but that status Mike could really use it. I mean, I’d the gun and send him something something I could do—and, you purchased sneakers, insisting Arsham New York Present he dropped $3450 on a resold just posted takes the cake. Even do it but, like, what would I while someone’s already talking know, someone else to do it for that he’s testing for authenticity: sneakers, and nothing else. pair of Adidas Futurecraft 4Ds. I by his standards that’s a pretty even say? I don’t know him that to him. Hell, maybe he’s getting me. is he a sneakerhead? Or could I’m happy to do this, because I long for the days of being asked sad one. I just hope someone well. I’m sure there’s someone too many messages. I don’t want he just be a garden variety foot love him and want to make him for footjobs; now there is only reads that and checks in with in his support network who’s to swamp the guy, that’s the last worshipper? happy, but it’s really hard to Yeezys.

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