36 Page Pullout Hoenix the Arts Annual of Imperial College 2013 London Returns Inside This Issue

“Keep the Cat Free”

07/06/13 Issue 1550 felixonline.co.uk 36 PAGE PULLOUT HOENIX THE ARTS ANNUAL OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE 2013 LONDON RETURNS INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Election Imperial climbs league table Inside... results >> Eoghan J Totten Reporter to be FEATURE A lacklustre performance in the NSS (National Student Survey) left Impe- announced rial College London trailing behind the University of Oxford and the Univer- sity of Cambridge, the other two thirds Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief of the ‘Big h ree’ UK-based academic institutions, in the latest league table compiled by the Guardian. A score of Voting closes in the Summer Elections 64 fell short of Cambridge’s 75 and Ox- at 10am today. The turnout looks like ford’s 71 respectively. In fact, a host of it will be lower than the Big Elections other academic institutions surpassed TEDxAlbertopolis turnout was earlier this year. Campaig- the College, ranging from the Lon- ing has been much less visible, as is don School of Economics through to interview 5 usually the case. Currently, at time of the University of Surrey. h e fi ndings >> going to print, turnout is below 10%. are anticipated to irritate many staff The results will be announced on Friday and students within the College and by Imperial College Union at roughly may raise questions over the validity 12:30pm. This is assuming that no seri- of league tables in general. Although, COMMENT ous complaints are made. overall, Imperial did climb from 13th There will be a report online with to 9th place. trenched in instilling rigour into its sable when job hunting. all of the results at felixonline.co.uk/ Imperial College London is fi rst and students from the outset. With current h is, fortunately for students news/3662/summer-election-results- foremost a scientifi c institution and global dynamism and expansionism, at Imperial, was refl ected in announced/ once they are confi rmed. would always say that it is deeply en- problem solving skills are indispen- the league tables. Im- >> 4

ARTS Re-mark for the grading system? The tale of marking WOMEN Union Council discusses the GPA your lab report >> 6 IN ART Maciej Matuszewski Reporter COFFEE BREAK h e Union is considering its response to plans by certain members of the Russell Group of elite universities to replace the current degree classiﬁ - cation system with a US style grade point average (GPA). h e system would involve students being assigned one of 14 letter grades, running from F- to A+, for each piece of assessment. h ese would each have a numeri- cal value – or grade point – running from 0.00 to 4.25, with a student’s ﬁ - Another exam for nal mark being a weighted average of Moving over to a Special features. Pages 8-11 these grade points. 25 US-like system? you to take >> h e group of universities – >> 3 2 FRIDAY 07 JUNE EDITOR’S PICKS 7 10 15 SCIENCE >> ARTS >> PHOENIX >> Fearless people Women in art Rising once again There are some people who have A special four pages of Arts this Well here it is. Back once more no fear. That’s a really strange week. An amazing, in depth, is the explosion of artistic talent thought. This week, Science Edi- interview with an artist about at Imperial. 36 pages of writing, tor Laurence Pope explores the beauty and its perceptions is a painting, and interviews in this possibilities of being fearless. highlight. year’s arts annual.

LOLCATZ OF TEH WEEK: Finding these is a perk of the job Oh Gee a Point Average Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief

while ago some universi- grey area of overlap where 59 and 61 and so know all of this. If they do not ties announced the pos- aren’t too different from each other – understand, then universities should sibility of using a UK GPA but that is fi xable by someone saying inform them. instead of the traditional on a CV that they were that close. It Will people start getting tactical with Agrading system that we does cause a problem if you are not al- options? Hell yes, but they do that al- use. This is an interesting idea, and one lowed to apply for a job unless you have ready. Only those that truly love their that is worthy of debate. The College will a 2:1, but a GPA doesn’t fi x that really. subject chose options based on inter- at some point ultimately have to choose Interestingly, the GPA will essentially est, the rest just go with what’s the whether or not they switch. Imperial are break up the grades into smaller sub ‘easiest’ option. There is also the danger a cautious lot: College tend to wait un- grades. It’s like if you had low 2:1, mid of grade infl ation. With people aiming til something is tried and tested rather 2:1 and high 2:1 on the degree instead for what used to be a high 2:1 there is a than dive straight in. Maybe it’s the sci- of just 2:1. temptation for universities to keep stu- entist mind set. Of course, this is both So, will employers start asking for dents happy and to rise up the league good and bad – it depends on the situ- higher grades? Probably not. If they tables by giving out higher grades. Of ation and context. Here, it will just give wanted to, they could already say that course with a system like this people more time to mull over the idea. If many nobody with less than a fi rst or 65% will be more stressed out and worried. other UK universities switch, Imperial should apply (and check transcripts to They will want to get certain grades that will start having serious discussions. If see if people lie). If they ask for a grade have smaller margins of error. This gets this ever does become a big topic, the it will be the same range as before, just circular in a way: again, you have the upper management of College would under a different name. They will want issue of someone having e.g. 63% and be wise to consult with students and rounded people with loads of interests 65% possibly getting a different clas- staff. The forgotten victims of examina- and who fi t into their ethos and all that sifi cation. Just like before the lines are tions are often the lecturers and PhD other stuff. blurry, but now there’s a bigger blur to students that have to mark the papers. Employers understand that wiggle sharp ratio. This is why, in all likelihood, It’s unlikely they will be keen to support room is needed, as grades are not 100% employers will still want the 2:1 equiva- a proposal that makes each piece of spot on. Bad day in the exam hall and lent and above. They need to draw a assessment critical and therefore puts that could be a knock to your aver- line somewhere, why change that line’s them under a lot of extra strain. age; labs are marked by humans who position for no real reason? You possibly In essence, I think the current system may make mistakes or be a bit erratic get people who are 3% ‘better’, but is is fi ne as it is. It allows people to give in marking (in a standard human way), that really ‘better’ at the job you will give exact marks if they want and employ- and so on and so forth. It boils down to them? More motivated? Better at work- ers to ask for exact scores if they are so the fact that marking is not as exact as ing in a team? Some other business inclined. That little buffer in the current you wish it would be. Employers went jargon? Nope. That’s why you interview system is great for markers, students, to university themselves (that person them and look at their cover letter, CV, and employers. You’ll always have the interviewing you was a student once) and experience.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. THIS BROUGHT Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2013. WEEK WASTO YOUBY Editor-in-Chief Tim Arbabzadah Deputy Editor Saskia Verhagen Assistant Editor Matt Colvin News Editors Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud Features Editors Caroline Wood, Stephen Smith Business Editor Deepka Rana Science Editors Philip Kent, Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett Politics Editors Padraic Calpin, Marie-Laure Hicks Food Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Sophia Goldberg, Yiango Mavrocostanti Comment Editors George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson Fashion Editors Saskia Verhagen, Alice Yang Arts Editors Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas Books Editor Maciej Matuszewski Music Editors Riaz Agahi, Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter Television Editor Lucia Podhorska Film Editors Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles Games Editor Ross Webster Technology Editors Jason Parmar, Maximilian Eggl Coffee Break Matt Colvin Travel Editor Veronika McQuade Sports Editors Oli Benton, Sorcha Cotter, Margot Pikovsky Online Editors Philip Kent, Jonathan Kim Puzzles Commanders Louisa Byrne, Sotirios Karamitsos Copy Chief Annina Sartor Illustrators Hamish Muir, Outi Supponen Corrections and clarifications: Last week, in an article about the Summer Elections, Callum Kirk was referred to as RAG Secretary when he is actually RAG Treasurer. Two week’s ago an article referred to a “campus” being built. This has since been changed online to “facility” to better reflect what is being built. The word “campus” was used for ease of communication and not to be misleading. FRIDAY 07 JUNE 3

News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected] NEWS

Energia Fitness fun day next Resolves at next meeting week continued from the front page >> Free fi tness which includes King’s College Lon- classes will be don, UCL and Manchester but not held on the En- Imperial – fi rst made their intentions ergia Fitness Fun Explore the fun of ENERGIA public in an article in Times Higher Day, which is on kUOFTTUIJTTVNNFSÐ Education in June 2011. h e main Wednesday 19 The Active Lifestyles Team would like to FITNESS reason given for wanting the change June, in Ethos. invite all Imperial staff and students to BGVOEBZPGGSFFDMBTTFTBOEPVUEPPSkUOFTT is to help allow the British system to h e Active Life- training. The event will be held at various FUN DAY be more easily understood by foreign Harvard University, in style Team is venues across the South Kensington Campus. Cambridge, Massachusetts. employers. h e current practice of bringing the day Morning Wonder which UK univer- awarding students fi rsts, 2:1s , 2:2s to students and 07.00 - 08.00 Circuits Gym Wednesday and thirds was only fully implemented sity they are copying staff and you do 07.15 - 08.15 HARDcore Triathlete Energia Studio 10.30 - 11.30 Yoga Energia Studio 19 June after World War I and is not widely not need to be a used outside of the UK. member of Ethos Lunchtime 2013 12.00 - 14.00 Fast classes run every 30 minutes at the Energia Gym h e universities also argue that the to take part. 12.00 - 12.45 Legs, Bums and Tums Energia Studio 12.00 - 13.00 Power Walk Meet at Ethos Reception new grade system would be fairer and h ere will be 12..00 - 12.45 Boxing Fit Queen’s Lawn 13.00 - 14.00 Tai Chi Princes’s Garden provide potential employers more special guests, 13.00 - 14.00 Body Pump* Energia Studio information than the broad catego- such as “a mys- * Run by mystery, world-renowned Studio Instructor ries presently used. For example, un- tery, world re- der the current system two students nowned Les Evening 17.15 - 18.15 Zumba Energia Studio might earn fi nal percentages of 59.0% Mills studio in- 17.15 & 18.15 Comando Circuits Prince’s Gardens 18.30 - 19.30 Spin and Stretch Energia Studio and 60.1% and yet be awarded the very can be a motivational tool for students ployers. And after all is done many structor” teach- 19.30 - 20.30 Salsa Energia Studio diff erent classifi cations of 2:2 and 2:1 during their university study and give employers will still reasonable un- ing a Body Pump respectively. A grade point average employers and others the information derstand that a 2:1 from Imperial is class. Other spe- A mega gym challenge will be held at Ethos throughout the day with prizes to be won! 'SFFUTIJSUTGPSBUUFOEFFTXJMMCFHJWFOPVUPOBkSTUDPNF kSTUTFSWFECBTJT would also encourage students in the they need following graduation”. h ey at least as good as a fi rst in the same cial classes in- Book studio classes a at Ethos Reception or via telephone on 020 7594 6660. No booking is needed for all outdoor activities, just turn up 5 minutes in advance. fi nal year to work hard regardless of added that they believed that “there subject from non-name-city new- clude Tai Chi on &7&3:0/&JTXFMDPNF TPDPNFBOEKPJOVTGPSTPNFkUOFTTGVOÏ whether their marks so far are within are aspects to academic practice in university.” Another student, who did Prince’s Gardens For more information, contact [email protected] what would have previously been a the UK, including marking culture, not wish to be named, seemed to think and salsa danc- www.imperial.ac.uk/sports /sportimperial boundary for a particular classifi ca- second marking, marking criteria, it was not really much diff erent: “It’s ing. tion. and external examination, which can just a diff erent way of showing your To book a place in one of the studio indoor studio classes. More informa- Potential concerns, however, have indeed help to counteract some of the performance, it won’t make you a bet- classes, call Ethos on 020 7594 6660. tion can be obtained by emailing the also been identifi ed. h e GPA might concerns about the US experience of ter or worse student. Besides, we can For outdoor classes, you just need to team running the event on actlife@im- lead to a greater focus on grades as op- GPA”. look at our overall weighted percent- turn up fi ve minutes before the class perial.ac.uk. posed to learning the subject – possi- While employers groups, such as age through the registry, which is way starts. Pre-booking is recommended, bly leading to grade infl ation and stu- the Association of Graduate Recruit- more divided than with a GPA.” as spaces are limited, especially for the Tim Arbabzadah dents choosing easier modules to get ers, have expressed cautious support h e issue was discussed at the last higher grades. h is is the main reason of the changes reactions from Impe- meeting of the Union Council and why the London School of Economics rial students and academics have been will be considered further at the next Sponsored Editorial opposes the changes. h e lack of in- more ambivalent. Jonathan London, meeting. Deputy President (Educa- formation given by the current broad Physics Departmental Representa- tion) Doug Hunt said that he “will be categories is also already alleviated by tive, told Felix that he believed that writing another paper for council next employers being able to ask gradu- “we have a system which works, so week, which will have resolves and be- More student cuts ates for their academic transcripts or we should focus our time and money liefs in it, as [he doesn’t] want to infl u- a breakdown of their module marks. on pressing issues”. An Imperial Col- ence Council’s decision in anyway and It might therefore not be worth the lege academic, who wishes to remain want it to be students’ voice not [his].” Discount haircuts for Imperial administrative cost of introducing a anonymous, said: “h is seems to be h e next Council meeting will be at completely new system. change for change’s sake with little 18:30 on June 11 in the Union Dining h e group of universities support- benefi t to anyone. It will give a false Hall. All students are welcome to at- students at Fresh Hairdressers ing the changes said, in a statement impression of precision beyond the tend and voice their opinion. released in September 2012, that they 4 classes of degree we have now, and near South Kensington were merely “seeking a measure that that doesn’t help graduates or em- Editorial: page 2 >> Men’s cuts £22 (normally £35) discount and bring your student ID Women’s cut and rough dry £28 we look forward to seeing you. Women’s cut and salon fi nish We use only the best products, blow-dry £38 (normally £55) Wella, Moroccan Oil, L’Oreal, and $5000 essay prize for Imperial MBA student KMS and offer free coffee and FRESH Hairdressers has been herbal teas. offering high quality, fashionable To book an appointment call 0207 Nida Mahmud News Editor munications innovations. Contestants combined their objectives together haircuts for over 20 years. All of 823 8968. for the ADMAP prize were required rather than focus on just making prof- our haircuts are by highly experi- Tuesday to Saturdays 9.30 to 5.30 to write an essay answering “Can it.” enced stylists, NOT trainees. We are only 70 metres from South Mike Follett, a MBA student at the brands maximise profi ts Follett, who worked in advertising Kensington tube station. Business School has been awarded and be a force for so- for ten years before coming to do an TO GET A GREAT HAIRCUT www.freshhairdressers.co.uk the fi rst place award for an advertis- cial good?” MBA at Imperial, said: “If I had just 1) You don’t have to spend a lot of ing competition, ADMAP prize 2013 h e essay will be carried on working as I was before, I money at expensive trendy salons for his essay. h e essay was entitled published in the AD- would’ve given a very diff erent answer 2) You don’t have to spend hours “h inking in 3D”. Mike will receive the MAP June issue. h e than I gave after business bchool.” He as a Guinea pig at a training school Gold award and a cheque for $5,000 essay concluded with: went on to say: “Business school sort 3) You don’t have to be butchered at the ADMAP Prize celebration event “Business could be of fi lls in the gap of whatever expertise at some cheap Barbers on June 19th at the Cannes Lions In- more profi table you have built up in your career. 4) You don’t have to wait till you go ternational Festival. and a force It also gives you a chance to back home ADMAP is a magazine that is re- for social take a look at what you leased monthly, it is written by expert good already know and how Come to FRESH, ask for a student practitioners on advertising and com- if they you view the world.” 4 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected] RCC Awards announced Cambridge still on top Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief university is. Civil Engineering took second place, Inspection of endowment does bring behind UCL’s equivalent. EEE, General h e RCC have announced the winners some surprising results. As of July Engineering (this specifi c course is not of their awards. h e RCC Club of the 2012 the endowment of Imperial Col- off ered at Imperial and so this is likely year was Caving. h ere was also a Fel- lege London was in the region of £79 to be an amalgamation of the engineer- lowsip for Alistair Cott. million. Contrast this with Oxford’s ing subjects), Materials, and Chemical Four students got Distinguished £3.7 billion endowment, viable of bail- Engineering all came third. Physics Service Awards. h ey were: Matthew ing), Michelle Low (Mahjong). ing out a small European Union state. came fi fth, with the percentage of stu- Cambridge say they will now Lees (Mountaineering), Timothy Run- The following received a Mer- Compare this furthermore with Har- dents satisfi ed with the feedback (64%) fight it out with the Klingons for corn (Ice Hockey) Antoine Desmet it award: Joel Braganza-Mendes vard University’s $30.4 billion endow- being the main distinguishing factor galactic domination (Wakeboarding) Dominic-Andradi (Mountaineering),Tim Barrett (Night- ment (around £20 billion). It becomes between Imperial and the other cours- Brown (Underwater). Hike), Valentin Sauter (Fellwander- apparent that Imperial College London es. Feedback again hit Mathematics, The following students received Col- ers), Claire Guitton (Fellwanderers), is punching above its weight, produc- who were seventh. Medicine came in ours: Thomas Wheeler (Exploration), Egor Kyshtymov (Gliding), Richard continued from the front page ing world class students and research ninth and had the lowest score of all Leon Vanstone (Kite Surfi ng), Thomas Cameron (Underwater), Rhys Tyers >> on a budget comparable to the spare the courses for feedback – with only Arscott (Gliding), Harish Santhanam (Caving), Johannes Hoenigl (Pilots), perial exhibited a job prospect score change in the pockets of some other 47% saying they were happy. Although (First Aid [LINKS]), Zhao Ming Tai Jennifer Norris (Dance), Delphine Ro- of 84, superseding all competition (the academic institutions. Couple this this was better than King’s College (First Aid [LINKS]), Ruth Lawson lando (Synchronized Swimming), Ryan London School of Economics was close with the ability of the College to attract London, who managed to score an im- (Mountaineering), Samuel Flynn (Gam- Perkins (Outdoor). at hand with a score of 82; being within a multitude of highly-skilled students pressively poor 18%. Chemistry and walking distance of the city, a global from overseas and perhaps the for- Biosciences were the two worst per- fi nancial powerhouse has its benefi ts). tunes of Imperial are not all doom and forming at Imperial. Chemistry were h e pitfall seems to be the road that gloom. in 12th, with satisfaction with teach- a student must travel in order to ob- h e league table by the Guardian ing, feedback, and the course seem- Summer Finance Job tain an Imperial degree. Many an un- makes student satisfaction the centre- ingly dragging down the rating. Bio- savoury moment of staring at a blank piece of the academic dinner table. It sciences performed the worst by quite page must be endured. Given that would appear, from surveys for other a margin: they came 25th in the subject each and every student here at Impe- league tables (by the Times Higher table. Again it appeared to be satisfac- rial College has to experience this on a Education Supplement), that students tion that caused the problems. !" recurrent basis, this might rationalise think that the fault of many Depart- h e Guardian league tables are pub- # $ % &' depleted student satisfaction. ments within the College is to suff o- lished yearly. Research performed by % ' Numerous other scores inhibited the cate students with a massive academic economists at Royal Holloway found overall score of the College, including workload. that improving a Department’s overall expenditure per student head and a Interestingly, the “Entry Tariff ” for score in the Guardian’s league table ( % % meagre “Value added” score of 6.7/10 Imperial was the third highest in the was linked with an increase in applica- (versus University of St. Andrews’ country. h is is the UCAS points score tions. Studying the UCAS data and the ) leading 8/10). h is arguably is where that students at the university achieve. league tables published by the Guard- ' * ' * scepticism begins to creep in among Above Imperial are Cambridge and ian from 2004 onwards showed that ' %%' ' ' staff and students at the College; the Oxford. an increase in the overall score by one score takes people’s grades before and h e Guardian also released their in- standard deviation saw an average 4.8% after university and sees if the univer- dividual subject tables, showing what increase in applications. h is only ap- ' % ! sity has ‘added value’ by improving the university it considers the best for vari- plied to Departments at the top of the + , student’s academic abilities. h is has ous subjects. h e fortunes of the dif- table. h e authors of the paper said: % become a hot topic of debate before, ferent subjects were extremely mixed. “Universities cannot aff ord to neglect with many students arguing it could Some doing extremely poorly, and their performance on league tables - .+ lead to grade infl ation by universities. some coming out on top. Earth and so long as they wish to establish and h is would raise the score by it looking Marine Sciences was rated number one maintain a consistent reputation to at- as if the university had made the stu- in the country, with 94% of students tract the best of students.” # % / 0 1 dents perform better in assessments. being in a career after six months. h e general use of satisfaction by stu- Mechanical Engineering was also top, Statistics can be found at: http://www. 2 3 10456 7 , 72 04489 dents has been controversial as to how with an average entry tariff that stood guardian.co.uk/education/table/2013/ accurate it is at measuring how good a head and shoulders above the rest. jun/03/university-league-table-2014 FRIDAY 07 JUNE 5

Features Editors: Stephen Smith, Caroline Wood [email protected] FEATURES Best position? On Albertopolis Tim Arbabzadah talks to ex-Imperial student and TEDx organiser Kadhim Shubber about organising TEDxAlbertopolis

EDxImperialCollege was Albertopolis? England and Emeritus Professor at a must see event. It had so KS: Albertopolis is the informal name Imperial; David Braben FREng, CEO much on off er (you even for the area from the Royal Albert Hall of the Frontier Developments and a got your own lanyard) and down to South Kensington station, cofounder of the Raspberry Pi Foun- Tmust have hit home with including all the museums and other dation; Nicholas McCarthy, the fi rst the audience: it was trending on Twit- institutions in this neighbourhood. one-handed pianist graduate from ter. Considering it contained absolute- It’s basically a Victorian “Tech City”, the Royal College of Music; and John ly zero Justin Bieber performances, founded on the profi ts of h e Great Halpern, cryptic crossword setter for that’s pretty special. Former Felix Edi- Exhibition of 1851 as a place where h e Guardian, h e Times, The Finan- tor/physics student Kadhim Shubber scientifi c innovation and creative de- cial Times and h e Telegraph. kindly took some time out to answer sign work hand in hand. some questions. He is co-organising TA: Who would be your dream possibly one of the largest ever TEDx TA: What is the theme of this year’s speaker to invite? events, right on our doorsteps at the event? KS: I feel incredibly privileged to be Royal Albert Hall. h e team organis- KS: We aren’t giving away the theme working with the speakers we’ve al- ing TEDxAlbertopolis is almost en- just yet, but it’s no secret that we’ll fo- ready been able to announce. I think tirely made up of Imperial alumni, and cus on the place how art and science fi t this is pretty much a dream line-up. (I Kadhim described them as “a dream. together in the modern world. hope you agree!) h e most intelligent, interesting and eff ective people you could hope to TA: Are there any big name speakers TEDxAlbertopo- work with.” we will get to see? lis is on the 23rd KS: We’ve chosen all of our speak- September, tick- Job Description Tim Arbabzadah: You organised ers because we think they have a re- ets can be bought TEDxImperialCollege, what made ally interesting perspective to share by going to roy- Sondrel is looking for new or recent graduates who are interested in pursuing a career in you want to organise another TEDx and a compelling story to tell. We’ve alalberthall.com. microelectronics. The current roles will provide the candidates with training from some of event? got many more to announce, but Find out more at Sondrel's highly skilled engineers in a variety of disciplines across IC design. Not only will the Kadhim Shubber: We had far more we’ve already announced Dame Sally TEDxAlbertopo- roles be technically challenging as Sondrel engineers work on some of the largest designs in the people who wanted to attend TEDx- Davies, the Chief Medical Offi cer for lis.com latest technologies, but they will provide experience of working alongside some of the best ImperialCollege than we could ac- engineers in the industry and throughout the world. commodate. h ere was such a huge demand in this community for another TEDx event and we felt that there was A Great Exhibition Desired Skills & Experience more to say, and more stories to explore in this area. With all the attention focusing on the Royal Albert An Electronic Engineering or Physics related degree Hall’s starring role in TEDxAlbertopolis, it’s worth Ability to challenge and problem solve TA: If there were anything you could returning to the humble beginnings leading up to Capable of communicating and working as part of a team have done diff erently at the last this event. Held on the 24th of March in the distinct Some travel to Europe, China and the US may be required at times. event, what would it have been? environs of the Great Hall, TEDxImperialCollege in- KS: When you organise an event, you vited a range of speakers to deliver lectures on the are in a unique position to see all the theme of the Great Exhibition of 1851. Topics of the niggles and fl aws. h ere are lots of day included instant spray-on fabric and a project to Company Description things that I thought could have been resurrect the world’s first modern computer, with the a little bit better, but on the whole I subjects proving wholly memorable – for the world Sondrel was established in 2002 and provides world-class, tailored, independent design services think it was a great event that people and not just for those attending with some of these and consultancy for the global semiconductor industry. The company offers a highly flexible enjoyed and I wouldn’t want to point talks reaching thousands via the modern day magic approach, from fixed or temporary engineering resource to full silicon supply and design centre to one thing or another. of YouTube. setup. Sondrel has staffed offices in the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Sweden, Israel and China I was lucky enough to be seated on the reputable and has a strong, global network of partners including tier one EDA suppliers, foundries and IP TA: h e Royal Albert Hall is the ven- Social Media Sofa at the back of the auditorium, pro- suppliers. Sondrel won the Queens Award for Enterprise 2009. ue, how did that idea come about? viding just about the best view of the action going on KS: h e Royal Albert Hall is Alber- below. Live blogging proved a just about surmount- topolis’ auditorium. Its full name is the able challenge, with the sheer number of eminently “Royal Albert Hall of Arts and Scienc- quotable ideas and concepts from eminently quot- Additional Information es”, making it the perfect place to ex- able individuals arriving like a swarm of commuters plore the Arts, Sciences and their role at a busy station, clashing at the ticket barrier of my Type: in modern society. We are incredibly live update system. Full-time lucky to be able to organise TEDxAl- I’m under the distinct impression that even more Experience: bertopolis at the Royal Albert Hall. can be expected from the upcoming event at the Roy- al Albert Hall. And though obviously things won’t be Entry level the same without the Social Media Sofa in the back, Functions: TA:Is this the biggest ever TEDx I’m sure that the range of speakers and incredible lo- Engineering, Management event? cation will lead this to be an event that will inspire Industries: KS: I don’t know, but I haven’t heard an incredible amount of attention; not least plenty of of any that are bigger. TEDx events are trending on Twitter. Semiconductors about spreading ideas and connecting Compensation: people. h e size isn’t hugely important. Matt Colvin Competitive TA: It’s TEDxAlbertopolis. What is 6 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Comment Editors: George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson COMMENT [email protected] The Tale of the Demonstrator Pietro Aronica gives a – mostly ﬁ ctional – parody of the precise and hallowed science of marking lab reports

he demonstrator, working late at night, still has a stack of papers to correct for the follow- T ing day. h ough the bed beckons to him, he relentlessly keeps going, as students require his slightly- above-minimum wage insights and comments: without his feedback, they would have literally no other way to improve their marks. Or so he tells Pietro Aronica himself, correcting for the umpteenth time that night that the plural of “mo- mentum” is not “momentums”. He picks up his reference text to check if a value is the right one: not the offi cial answer outline, dated and imprecise, but the report of a particularly brilliant student. It has equations and sources that the demonstrator does not even know of, and someone writing such things clearly knows what they’re doing. He had felt compelled to give it the maxi- mum marks, sincerely hoping that he hadn’t rewarded plagiarism. In comparing the two reports, he goes down the mandatory checklist. Background theory? Convoluted, but check. Figure explaining that one ef- fect? Check. Equation for said eff ect? Check. Description of the experiment? Incomplete, but check. Discus- the work was (somewhat) done and age of commas and subscripts, far be- less than a B. Just once, the demon- sion of the experiment? It’s wrong, understood, and transparent in its I- yond the demonstrator’s willingness strator wishes there were a truly dis- but, hey, at least it’s there. h e result just-did-this-because-I-had-to spirit. to judge. He picks up a book, fl icks astrous report so that he could take is one of those reports clearly slapped h is kind of report can get more or to a random page and reads the fi rst out his red pen and write a big F on together two hours before the dead- less any mark, depending on how anal number he sees: it is odd. B it is then it. “See me”, he could even write. But line, competent enough to show that you want to be about the precise us- for this report. He pens a 64 at the there was no report that ever really bottom, and another one is done. deserved that, and even those with h e next report appears to be mar- obvious fl aws had some redeeming ginally more competently written. feature. Reluctantly, he gives it a 69, h ere are defi nitely a lot fewer typos, giggles to himself, and then puts it and there is at least a rudimentary no- away. He picks up tion of how a table should be made. He takes another one, and it is a But before he can correct it, the dem- good one: correct use of references, a book, fl icks onstrator has to perform a fundamen- proper discussion and interpretation tal step: he searches her name on Fa- and all the rest. Unfortunately for the cebook. He remembers her from the student, the demonstrator has run to a random lab, she was the one that had asked out of As to give today. He wouldn’t him that question he couldn’t answer. want to seem too generous, especially Well, this’ll teach you to shame me in when the other demonstrators are page and front of everyone! He scours the re- boasting about failing people left and port, fi nds a number with only three right, and he has instituted a quota. reads the fi rst signifi cant fi gures, and writes “insuf- He feels sorry for the kid, especially fi cient precision” in the comments as he’s recognised him as one of the section. He gives it 55, a minute later quiet ones, but going back to change number he amended to 60 because he feels guilty, the other marks would be entirely too and he goes on to the next one. much eff ort. He gives it a 68 before h is reports starts awfully, with a taking another report. sees: it is odd. terrible, rambling introduction, and h e pile is still large, and the hour for a moment the demonstrator gets is only getting later. It is hard to be a B it is then for excited. His enthusiasm rises through demonstrator. blurry images and poorly formatted paragraphs, but unfortunately the h is is (mostly) a work of fi ction. No this report discussion of the experiment is im- grade averages were harmed in the ” peccable, and he cannot give it any making of this. FRIDAY 07 JUNE 7

Science Editors: Philip Kent, Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett [email protected] SCIENCE Flicking off the fear switch Laurence Pope Science Editor is the complete absence of fear within called aphobia). h is pushes them to patient S.M. A group of scientists at- Steve Irwin didn’t have Urbach-Wiethe otherwise impossible extremes. Selec- tempted to scare her with, amongst disease. Dude just had balls of steel tively being able to dampen or even “You asked me once, what was in other things, poisonous snakes and eliminate fear in this manner could Room 101. I told you that you knew arachnids, horror fi lms and haunted prove extraordinarily useful. the answer already. Everyone knows houses. Long story short they failed Such an on/off switch to fear would it. h e thing that is in Room 101 is the miserably. h ey couldn’t perturb S.M. have to be carefully controlled. As worst thing in the world.” Only recently have researches found handy as such a switch might be a Room 101: a setting from Orwell’s something that does trigger a fear complete lack of fear also means no Nineteen Eighty-Four, the room where response in UW suff erers: high con- longer fearing death. Already serv- everyone’s worst fear is contained. For centrations of carbon dioxide in the ing soldiers, fi re fi ghters, and those in the protagonist Winston Smith it was blood. h e fear of suff ocation, simu- other high-risk occupations put their rats. For others it might be as sensible lated by breathing in high quantities of lives on the line. Hypothetical users as snakes, or as bizarre as fl owers. Say carbon dioxide, prompted the patients of a fear switch would have to accept what you will, but everyone has some to feel fear for the fi rst time in their that their lives would be placed at even sort of fear. lives. h is suggests that the amygda- higher risk. Or do they? In the United States lae, whilst important, are not exclu- from infl icting further damage upon But what if, using knowledge from But controlling fear is still some a woman, known only as S.M., has sively the domain of the fear response. ourselves fear probably had a role to S.M. and other UW suff erers, we could way off . As the case of S.M. shows the Urbach-Wiethe (UW) disease, an in- However unpleasant fear may be play in preventing early humans from ‘shut off ’ fear? Create super soldiers amygdala plays a large role in con- credibly rare genetic disorder with S.M.’s case highlights the role it has to running headlong into danger. Fears capable of fearlessly charging into trolling fear, but its function would only 300 or so cases recorded in medi- play in human survival from an evo- of snakes, spiders and other such crea- battle? Fire fi ghters who run head- need to be clearly understood before cal literature. One of the symptoms in lutionary psychological standpoint: tures is likely a throwback from those long into burning buildings? Despite it could be effi ciently turned on and UW disease is the destruction of the S.M.’s lack of fear has led her to han- times, and partly explains why people damage to her amygdala S.M. is oth- off ‘as needed’. In the meantime you’ll amygdalae, almond-shaped groups of dle dangerous animals that most sane such as Europeans still display seem- erwise normal. Already people display just have to man up and ignore that in- nuclei embedded within the brain. people would seek to avoid. Just as pain ingly irrational fear responses towards a complete absence of fear in certain nocent garden spider in the corner of h e main impact of this destruction is a protective mechanism to stop us harmless European animals. extraordinary situations (sometimes your room. h e little guy isn’t going to hurt you.

Registered Osteopath

Specialising in: Registered with the General Sports injuries & rehabilitation Osteopathic Council Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) Sciatica and trapped nerves Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Alan Coles BSc (Hons). BSc (Hons) Ost Tennis/Golfer’s elbow Back and neck pain The Surgery TMJ pain (jaw pain) 7 Stanhope Mews West, Postural problems Gloucester Road, Arthritic joint pain 20% Discount on London SW7 5RB. Ligament sprains First Session for Telephone: 07802 826109 Frozen shoulder Felix readers www.sw7osteo.com Muscie aches Email: [email protected] Whiplash 8 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas ARTS [email protected] Where are the female artists? Guerrilla girls going ape

Fred Fyles Writer known for their distinctive visual style. exploring their own form, and yet it is Taking on the names of dead female rare that we get to see these portrayals. artists and dressing up in gorilla masks, It can be seen in the work of Nan Gol- From Nick Ross’ recent comments they descend upon art galleries, leaving din, whose puff y bruised face stares out about rape, to the on-going campaign a trail of evidence of discrimination in of photos, acting as a documentation of against ‘Page 3’, it seems that barely a their wake. One of their most famous her abuse. It can be seen in the work of day goes past without a reminder of the posters is from 1989, and asks the ques- Tracey Emin, whose exploration of her constant need for feminism. A couple of tion ‘do women have to be naked to get rape and sexuality is bold and brave. months ago a new website was started into the Met?’, prompted by the fact that And it can be seen in the work of Han- that provides yet more evidence for less than 5% of the artists in the Met’s nah Wilke, whose brutal posthumous feminism’s role in society. ‘100% Men’ modern section were women, but 85% collection Intra-Venus documents her aims to reveal ‘corners of the world of the nudes were. In a recent recount slow death from lymphoma. h is work where women have yet to tread’, expos- they found that – despite more than 20 is seldom seen in galleries, and is even ing places where female representation years of activism, during which muse- rarer in art history classes. is sorely lacking. However, while it may um curators promised to display more h e women in these works are too Why work? Instead, doodle all lecture long and then send us your drawings to not seem surprising that there has nev- art by women and minority artists – the real, too exposed for the general pub- [email protected]. This colourful doodle was drawn by Ioanna Kalogeraki. er been a female president of the Royal percentage of female artists had actu- lic. h ey have not been sanitised, their Society, or that male MPs outnumber ally decreased. But why is this the case? curves are not immortalised in soft col- female ones 4:1, under representation Why are the major museums so reluc- ours. h is view is captured by Martha of women extends far into some sur- tant to display works by women artists? Rosler in her 1977 video performance prising facets of life. Could the disparity be down to the Vital Statistics of a Citizen, Simply Ob- h e artistic world, which is often held ‘Male Gaze’? First described by femi- tained, in which Rosler gradually strips, up as an egalitarian beacon of hope, nist fi lm theorist Laura Mulvey in 1975, and her measurements are taken by a is also guilty of preferring men over it describes the idea that in fi lm – and team of male scientists. It is a represen- women, especially within the visual indeed, within any visual art form – we tation of an art world in which women arts. h e Tate Modern may have just are looking from the perspective of a exist only as objects, as a series of meas- opened a retrospective of the Lebanese heterosexual male. h ey are in control urements, rather than living, breathing abstract artist Saloua Raouda Choucair, of the camera, the ones holding the people. but in the Tate Britain’s lauded new re- brush, and therefore it is through their h ese women have taken control of Saints Alive @ The National Gallery - A series of large-scale kinetic sculptures by Micha hang, which they describe as ‘a circuit eyes that we see the work. their own bodies, refusing to simply Landy bring a contemporary twist to the lives of the saints. An unusual choose as col- of Tate Britain’s unparalleled collection, h e case has been made that the fe- be objects on canvas, and yet they are laborator for such a traditional institution his work is more the product of junk yards and from beginning to end’, less than 8% of male form is more visually appealing all too often attacked for being ‘self ab- flea markets than studios or galleries. Now - November 24 the works are by female artists. Women and, although it could be argued that sorbed’, their work seen as little more make up over 60% of art students, but this is only due to how entrenched the than a vanity project. It is a similar Regime Change Begins at Home @ Willliam Morris Gallery - This quirky exhibition of only contribute to 30% of the works gaze is in society, perhaps this is why view that many people have towards paintings by David Mabb championing the history of political protest is a great excuse displayed in London’s galleries. So, with there are so few female artists; lacking performance art, a medium that has a to visit an up and coming gallery recently awarded the Art Fund Prize for Museum of the such a disparity, it is surely fair to ask: ‘the gaze’, they fi nd it more diffi cult to long history of brilliant female artists. Year,winning a cool £100 000. Now - June 30 “where are the women?” make work that is appealing to viewers. From Yoko Ono and Laurie Ander- h is is a question that is familiar h is could also explain the dispropor- son, to Carolee Schneemann and Ma- Patrick Caulfield @ Tate Britian - Described as a survey of Gary Hume’s work, relatively to the Guerrilla Girls, a collective of tionate number of female nudes – they rina Abramović, there is no shortage of shortly after his death this show offers a great opportunity to acquaint yourself with the feminist activists who combat sexism are simply more appealing. Just as the women creating witty, self-aware art- occasionally iconic but often overshadows modern artist. His mastery of colour, graphic in the art world through humour and camera lingers on a woman’s curves, so works; and yet, for many, performance elegance and wit is suited to a wide range of tastes. Now - September 1 hard-hitting visuals. Founded in 1985, too does the artistic canon linger on the art is seen as ‘non-art’. following the MoMA’s exhibition An nudes of Titian, Manet, and Klimt. Such an attitude has also been taken The Cripple of Irishmen @ Noel Coward Theatre - The next show in the opening salvo International Survey of Recent Painting Such an explanation is simple and against the art forms historically domi- from Michael Grandage’s new theatre company is guaranteed to draw a crowd with a and Culture, in which only 13 of the 169 concise; unfortunately it is also misguid- nated by women. Pottery, needlework, certain boy wizard staring. However if past example are a guide to expectation this play artists were women, they have become ed. h ere is no shortage of female artists and textiles have traditionally been con- with pack a quality comic and emotive punch. June 8 - August 18 How many female artists

can you name?

Nan Goldin Nan

derson, Tracy Emin, Yayoi Kasama, Bridget Riley, Riley, Bridget Kasama, Yayoi Emin, Tracy derson, Left to right: Yoko Ono, Frida Carlo. Laurie An- Laurie Carlo. Frida Ono, Yoko right: to Left FRIDAY 07 JUNE 9

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas [email protected] ARTS

sidered ‘women’s work’; dominated by to create art could be ‘something to do emy; founded in 1768 to ‘promote the tion that normally took a month – in a acquisitions of work by artists they own, women, they are lumped together as with bearing children’. If you ask Georg arts of design in Britain’, it took another week, at the age of 15. Each example re- and that in turn makes their private col- ‘handicrafts’, a genre completely sepa- Baselitz, one of Germany’s leading century until the fi rst women enrolled, inforces the idea of the ‘golden-nugget’, lections more valuable”. rate – and far inferior – to the male- painters, he might tell you that ‘women in 1860. Even then, women were barred and tries to silence the feminist critic; Linda Nochlin has said: “h ose who dominated ‘fi ne arts’. h e Feminist Art don’t paint very well. It’s a fact’, backing from life drawing until 1893, and even ‘if they could do it, why couldn’t she?’ have privileges inevitably hold on to movement of the 1970s tried to address up this claim with the fact that ‘they then the subject had to be partially they ask. While many professors of art them, and hold tight, no matter how this attitude by elevating the decorative don’t pass the market test’, despite work clothed. It was not until 1936, nearly history are careful to be wary about marginal the advantage involved”, and arts to the level of the fi ne arts, a mis- by impressionist Berthe Morisot being 200 years after it was founded, that a the authenticity of such tales, the idea when we look at the art world it is diffi - sion that reached its zenith with Judy more than twice as expensive as his woman was elected to the Royal Acad- of the tortured, white, male genius has cult not to see it as ‘Kathe Kollwitz’ does Chicago’s 1979 piece h e Dinner Party, own. emy. With such constraints placed on become deeply ingrained within the – a ‘playground of the 1%’. in which place settings are laid out for However, if you ask Linda Nochlin, art their training, it is hardly surprising that public consciousness; it is a myth that h ings may sound bleak, but they 39 great women from history. Hand- historian at New York University, you we have no female Turner. excludes females, rendering the world are not hopeless. Organisations such crafted table runners celebrated these might have a rather diff erent response. Another subject Nochlin touches of classical art as a ‘Boy’s Club’. as h e Guerrilla Girls, and UK Femini- women’s achievements, while the plates Her 1971 essay, ‘Why have there been upon in her essay is the idea of the ‘Kathe Kollwitz’, one of the founding sta are tirelessly campaigning for major were decorated with images of butter- no great women artists?’, argues that ‘golden-nugget theory of genius’; within members of the Guerrilla Girls, believes galleries to display more female artists, fl ies and fl owers, symbolic of vulvas, all the lack of great female art is a result of art history there is a tradition, stretch- that, while the Male Gaze, and the ste- and ‘Kathe Kollwitz’ singles out the in an eff ort to celebrate the decorative centuries of oppression against women. ing back centuries, of the ‘genius artist’, reotype of the male genius artist have Tate Modern, Stockholm’s Moderna arts. Historically, the art studio, like many plucked from obscurity and somehow contributed to discrimination, nothing Museet, and the MoMA as examples Unfortunately, very little has changed, aspects of life, was closed to women, a destined to make masterpieces. h ey holds more power in the art world than of museums that are trying to do better. and the hierarchy of the arts continues male-dominated world. possessed the ‘golden-nugget’ of genius, cold, hard cash. When I ask her about But they cannot do it alone. in the way described by Le Corbusier h e very few pre-19th century female and therefore it was inevitable that this the idea of the Male Gaze, she dismisses In Lynn Hershman Leeson’s fi lm in 1918: ‘Decorative arts at the bottom, artists are often daughters of other fa- genius would rise to the surface, and the idea, referring instead to ‘the male ¡Women Art Revolution!, which docu- and the human form at the top. Because mous painters, such as Artemisia Gen- the world would know them as a great pocketbook’. ments the growth of feminist art, there we are men’. tileschi, daughter of Orazio Gentileschi, painter, regardless of the circumstances. ‘Most art collectors are wealthy men is a particularly painful scene in which h is focus on female artists often best known for her visceral work Judith Proponents of this theory may point whose taste infl uences what artists are people are stopped outside the MoMA prompts the tired question ‘why are Slaying Holofernes. h ese women were to the Florentine painter Giotto, saying exhibited and collected by museums’, and asked to name three female artists. there no great female artists?’ It is a fair able to break out of the rigid social ‘Look! He was a mere shepherd’s boy she says; “h ese men donate money None can. Could you? h e subjugation question? Where is the female equiva- norms of the time thanks to their po- before somebody noticed his doodles and artworks to museums and sit on of female artists has to end; get in con- lent of Botticelli? Turner? Picasso? h e sition and infl uence, but how can there and took him on as an apprentice’. h ey acquisition committees that help the tact with the galleries, and ask them to answer to this question will largely de- be a legacy of great female painters if point at Van Gogh and argue that even curators decide what art to collect. Cu- address the imbalance. Find out more pend on who you ask. there is no way for women to access the with his crippling seizures, he was still rators don’t really need help fi guring about artists like Louise Bourgeois, If you ask the Evening Standard art arts? able to produce great art. h ey hold this out, but they need trustees’ money Tamara de Lempicka, and Cindy Sher- critic Brian Sewell, he might tell you For an example closer to home, we up Picasso and screech of how he was to get the art. It doesn’t take a genius to man. Do not allow the plight of the fe- that ‘only men are capable of aesthetic need do no more than walk down to able to pass all the examinations for the realize that the system is ripe for cor- male artist to be confi ned to the annals greatness’, and that women’s inability Green Park and visit the Royal Acad- Madrid School of Art – an examina- ruption since collectors can promote of history. h e time for change is now! 10 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas ARTS [email protected] Beauty and the beholder’s eye Meredith Thomas interviews Jennifer Louise Martin on the male gaze

met Jennifer Louise Martin in I have gone and lived and painted in a that I am too. it will be a much more natural picture, story, it adds a personality to the model, the food hall at Selfridges. To studio, then shown my work at the end. because there is no lighting, no staging. there is a story behind her, sort of para- get there I had to walk through Since about 2005 I have been interested M: If you’re changing your approach So we’ll see how the painting turns out. lysed by perfection. You can see they the cosmetics hall. h rough in female faces and portraits from maga- to painting a real person, is that going It will be diff erent. are pensive, or thinking. h ere is this Ithe haze of perfume, immacu- zines and photographs. Its been a theme to change the way you react and re- kind off destructive self. h at is what I late girls stared out with twinkling for a long time. spond, because you are not seeing the M: How do you start a painting? am thinking while I am painting which eyes, watching my progress as I picked subject through the lens of another is why you get this challenging aspect to my way though counters stacked with M: So how did that develop? photographer? J: I look at the image for quite a long the painting. foundation, mascara and lipsticks. I time. I will absorb the colours straight had wondered whether Jennifer was J: It started when I went to Los Angeles. J: I think it will do,because it’s more fi rst- away, I will immediately know my col- M: So there is an element of empa- setting herself up to make a point. As it h at inspired me a lot because, obvious- hand isn’t it? h e fact that I have taken our palette. As you can see I use a lot thising with the subject, even through emerged, she is far too straightforward ly, you’ve got the whole plastic surgery the photo means it’s all a bit closer to my of tones of the same colour. I like to add so many layers of paint and another for intricate ploys. culture and the theme of beauty is really own hand. But what will happen is that depth to give the image some kind of persons lens? Jennifer has just fi nished her fi rst solo prominent. My painting style changed show in London at the Strand Gallery. quite a bit there, it became a bit more Her rich textured paintings depict glam- photorealistic. You can see the faces and our models plucked from the pages of features are more prominent, the lips magazines. h e images are as layered and the eyes. conceptually as they are in paint, laced with subtext and questions about the M: I want to get into this idea of beau- illusory nature of perfection and the af- ty a bit more. Do you see beauty in the fl iction of beauty. models that you paint?

Meredith h omas: Can I start of by J: Yeah, but the images I choose, are a asking how you got into art? huge part of the process. It takes me a long time to fi nd a picture to work from. Jennifer Louise Martin: I went to St I will scour through heaps of magazines Martins for a foundation in 1999, then and it would be something about the I actually did a psychology and neuro- image that captures me, either the face, science degree for three years. After the structural features, or just the way that I went back to St Martins in 2005. the photograph is taken, the colour or I really loved St Martins and my foun- the composition. Mainly it is because I dation course is really what got me into will fi nd that person beautiful. oil painting. I fell in love with paint and ever since then I never stopped doing M: So is it the person or the photo- it. In between the years I was studying graph? psychology. I always tried to continue my art, but painting fell by the way- J: Not the person, the face! So probably side because I didn’t have the time. I the photography, the way that they have didn’t really have the space or studio to been shot or how it looks to me. It could paint. I did a bit of fashion and made my be the way the photograph is taken, own clothes. I was always creative but I you’re right, it could be that. went back to paining when I graduated university. I became much more artis- M: Do you ever get the same reaction tic having really missed my painting. I to something in life? taught myself quite a lot because I had to keep it going. J: I do get that. It has happened a couple of times where I have actually ap- M: How would you say that your study proached someone in a restaurant or at of psychology has informed that work work where their face has just popped you do? out at me and I have asked to paint them. h is happened recently. She had J: It defi nitely informs the work I do, such eye catching features that I ap- because I am interested in the psyche proached her in a restaurant. h at’s the of the female mind. How women per- fi rst time I’ve done that. She is now my ceive beauty, how women think about next sitter. I will do studies from life and it and try and obtain it... What does this then I take a picture and work from that. actually mean to women? h ese are the So this time, with the specifi c subject I’m questions I am interested in. h ere is a working from my own photograph. whole market out there, makeup, plastic You know It could be an object that is surgery, all these thing that women think beautiful. For me it just happens to be about, spend money on. h e psychology faces. It could stem back from years ago; behind beauty really informs my work, I wanted to be a model when I was about from a women’s point of view. eleven.

M: How long had you been painting M: h is is probably too simplistic a before these shows came up? question but, do you think we are too beauty obsessed in this society? J: It would be about ten years on-and- oﬀ . I’ve done a lot of residencies where J: Oh, totally yeah. And you could argue FRIDAY 07 JUNE 11

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas [email protected] ARTS

J: Absolutely! What is she really think- someone that is what happens – you get and women perceive beauty? is obviously very interesting. But it’s not With the male I just wouldn’t get that. ing? What does she really fee? Does she to know them and who they are. really an issue. I think it’s evening out a But now that I am painting a girl who like people staring at her? Doe she like J: I think, for both sexes the one thing lot more. It’s a lot diff erent than it used has no make up on it could lead to a walking out of home and seeing a mil- M: Why do you think beauty is so im- I would try and get across through my to be. You have the Tracy Emins of this male, who knows. lion cameras? I’m thinking about how it portant to us as a society? work is that beauty is not perfect. h ere world… would be for her to be in the subject of is no ideals and it is the imperfections M: What would you tell the eleven the gaze. J: It goes back to Adam and Eve. It’s that make someone beautiful. M: Would you ever paint a male mod- year old Jennifer who wants to be a the way that we attract people for sex. el? model? M: How do you deal with that con- Also celebrities and the media have a lot M: Do you feel it has been harder try- fl ict? On the one hand, with you to do with it. h ese girls, they want to ing to break though in that art world J: Yeah, I’ve had a lot of people ask me.. J - Once, a friend on the train got scout- painting, you are buying into this con- look like their idols. We are too scared as a women? I’ve never painted a male. h at’s not to ed and I didn’t… It would be exactly that. cept totally and on the other you are to age naturally too. It’s about keeping say I wouldn’t one day. h ere’s only ever Just because you are not the one scouted trying to challenge it. that youth. J: I have never ever looked at it that way one man that I’ve seen and thought, yes, to be a model, it doesn’t mean you are but I am doing a course at the moment I could paint him. h ere is something not good enough or you are not beau- J: I am trying to challenge it. One thing is M: Do you think it all relates to eroti- where I am in an open studio with 15 that just doesn’t inspire me as much. It is tiful. It’s because they are looking for a that these women get totally airbrushed, cism? Is there a pure aesthetic beauty? other painters and most of us, I think to do with sensuality. A lot of the models certain type of look, a skin, feature. You so there are these hidden lies that I try the majority, are female. h ere are about have the voluptuous lips, but it is a lot to become just an objects. People think and reveal in my painting, just through J: Do I think that there is an aesthetic four guys. But hearing them speak it has do with makeup as well. I think that is that being perceived as beautiful is a the use of paint. Because paint, being the to strive for? No, I think it’s totally indi- dawned on me that it is very male habit probably why. I do choose images where good thing, but actually. I think some- material that it is, reveals something that vidual. I think women should age natu- in the art world. Men have a big voice the women is quite made up because it is times it can be a total affl iction. So I a photograph wouldn’t. And that is why rally and embrace that. I don’t think you and women sometimes don’t get heard. the mask over the original beauty under- made a painting about that. She has no I like painting these subjects. should try and change yourself. Unless I don’t think it holds me back in any neath. I try to deconstruct that through eye which means she cannot feel people I challenge it because I know that it is something that aff ected you in- way. h e whole feminist art movement the paint. But it is also the colour as well. staring and the affl iction a beauty. there is this airbrushed trickery directed ner self so much that, it was something towards the public. And they buy into it, you were genuinely unhappy about. But especially girls. It’s not really the truth. when people go and do it on a whim… It I’m trying to relay something of the has become and obsession. truth. M: How do you respond to the fact M: How do you resolve the fact that that these cultural ideals of beauty you clearly do have a sense of beauty, seem to change so much between dif- so it has a truth for you and yet you ferent societies and ages? are looking for the more fundamen- tal levels of truth. And how does that J: I fi nd that really fascinating. I was with confl ict resolve itself ? my friend a couple of weeks ago and she is from Ghanian culture. h e idea J: h ere are a couple of pieces in the of beauty in that culture is completely recent show, Paralysed by Perfection. diff erent to the one that I was brought It’s about this struggle for perfection, up with. Even from a fi gure aspect, what which is a personal thing I have as well. men fi nd attractive in a women body... One of the things I actually did was to Is amazing that you can get so locked text the subconscious thoughts as I was into what your culture is thinking, the painting. h oughts about how it wasn’t patterns that become all you believe is perfect. You will see some severe imper- beautiful. Which again, is something fections in my work, the eyes missing I have tried to tackle in my work, by or some things scrubbed out because. choosing muses who are quite quirky. I create layers and layers all the time. I Back in the day in 2006 I painted Kate want people to see those layers because Moss. I wouldn’t decide to paint her at I want to get the message across that all now. You do get a lot of models now beauty isn’t this perfect ideal, it doesn’t that are considered quite ugly. So there actually exist. And the reality is that im- is a fi ne line and I like that. perfections are what make you perfect. Which has taken me a long time, about M: Have you changed the models six years to come to realise in my work. that you paint because society has Hence this show that I have just done. changed that way that they are seen h at is how I have been recently think- or have you have changed the way you ing about it. h at is the message I have see them? been trying to get through. J: I think probably more society, be- M: So when someone buys one of cause that’s why I’m fi nding them more your painting and takes it home, and in magazines. It’s the scouts that are its hanging on their wall what are you changing it and changing other people’s hoping that their response to it is? too.

J: Some people do think some of them M: What do you understand the Gaze are quite horrifying, which used to get to to be? me a bit because I don’t make paintings to horrify people. [h ey are] defi nitely J: I have taken it to be the stare of some- not decorative, but I want [people] who one else’s eyes fi xated on something, or buy my work to have something to gaze someone. In this case the model. My at and think about. h e people who buy boyfriend can’t believe how I will gaze at [my art] say that the more they look at it women in real life, and say I would really the more it changes and the more they like to paint her. He doesn’t understand see in it and the more they fall in love it. It almost comes across as more sexual with it. h is epitomises that idea of the than he would look at a women. But in a women in their house, which the more totally diff erent way… that they are around the more they fall in love with it [the painting]. [h en there M: If you could change society is] that whole idea of beauty: when you through your work how would you are not beautiful, but you hang out with seek to infl uence the way both men 12 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Books Editor: Maciej Matuszewski BOOKS [email protected] Let’s Talk About Homestuck Maciej Matuszewski looks at a truely innovative webcomic

I am an avid follower of many web- gerly awaits the arrival of a birthday longer than War and Peace, this cer- use this complexity to create a story in the same universe as the comic – comics – both of those with stan- present – the beta version of a Sims- tainly isn’t a quick read. It is also one that is not deep, engrossing, funny the Kickstarter for which raised over dalone strips and those with longer like game called Sburb. h e artwork is of the densest and most convoluted and fi lled with engaging characters three times its $700,000 target. running storylines. I have, however, simple – some might even say crude stories that I have ever read. h ere are but also one that is unlike anything I will admit that this certainly won’t found that for the most part, apart – and the story is told mainly through dozens of primary characters, the sto- that you have ever seen before. be everyone’s cup of tea. It requires a from the means of distribution, they chat logs of the protagonists’ instant ry is heavily reliant on time travel and All of this is helped by how Hus- substantial investment of time to get don’t diff er all that much from their messenger conversations. It isn’t long, the action takes place in at least four sie is not afraid to play with his me- into and some might, perhaps quite print counterparts. Despite the many however, before the comic’s more ex- diff erent alternate universes. h at’s dium. h ere is often experimenta- rightly, view it as pretentious and full creators out there producing brilliant perimental and, shall we say, eccen- not to mention the numerous fourth tion with new art styles and from of itself. It is, however, something work, there are very few who have tric qualities begin to manifest them- wall breaks and moments of author in- the very beginning heavy use was completely unique and I believe that it attempted to utilise the internet as a selves. Much of the early storyline was sertion. While in other works I might made of animated gif panels. Later deserves praise for that if for nothing creative medium to its full potential. heavily based on reader’s suggestions, be tempted to call all of this gim- on these evolved into minutes long else. h e comic is currently on hia- One of the few who, in my opinion, which, combined with Hussie’s own micky and excessive, in Homestuck it fl ash animations (Homestuck cur- tus while Hussie works on the afore- has, is Andrew Hussie, creator of brand of highly anarchic humour all comes together to work incredibly rently includes over three hours of mentioned game so this is the perfect Homestuck. means that there is nothing that is too well. PBS has compared Homestuck to full animation) and even short inter- chance to catch up. From its fi rst pages Homestuck ap- bizarre for this webcomic. James Joyce’s Ulyssees, in how, while active games. h ere have been some pears to be fairly standard fare. h e It is diffi cult to give even a bare at times seemingly impenetrable, it 25 offi cial music albums inspired by Homestuck, along with Hussie’s earlier fi rst page introduces us to one of our outline of the plot. Coming in at over is still deeply rewarding. Hussie is a the comic and Hussie is currently work, may be read for free at mspain- protagonists – John Egbert – as he ea- 6000 pages, and almost 100,000 words highly skilled writer and manages to working on a full adventure game set tadventures.com . FRIDAY 7 June IN 20:00-01:00 METRIC £2.50 DI Indigo, Metric’s new indie night, Playing the best in new Indie, Rock 'n' Roll and carefully selected Alternative Classics. also auntie GO maureen will be hosting a Summer Ball warm up playing the best in vintage swing.

imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on HOENIX 2013

THE LITERARY AND ARTS ANNUAL OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON DESIGN MEETS HOENIX SCIENCE COMMUNICATION 2013

Ben Miles and Ken Srimongkolpithak are PhD students in Imperial’s Institute of Chemical Biology. They use their artistic talents to create visualisations of their nanoscale research, and both have had their work featured on the covers of scientiﬁ c journals.

mperial is a science-focused alongside researchers. The Humani- use of art in communicating and visual- university, but look beneath ties Department (yes, we do have one, ising science, how scientifi c fact meets PHOENIX the surface and the depth of well-hidden though it is in the depths of literary fl air in speculative fi ction, and artistic, musical and literary Sherfi eld) runs a creative writing course even the merging of creative expression talent to be found among led by an Orange-prize longlisted nov- with physical strength and discipline in THE ANNUAL LITERARY our staff and students is elist. Imperial defi es the ‘two-cultures’ dance. In the following pages, features AND ARTS MAGAZINE truly astonishing. We have divide. That a world-class institution in focusing on these intersections are in- OF a contemporary art gal- scientifi c research and education can si- terwoven with submissions from across IMPERIAL COLLEGE lery, the Blyth Gallery in multaneously have such a thriving crea- the Imperial community (from under- LONDON the Sherfi eld building, that tive culture proves that art and science graduates to support staff to academ- regularly features work by are not incompatible opposites. Instead ics), including poetry, short stories and Imperial students alongside they can co-exist — in the same person, visual art. I hope this goes some way other emerging London artists. Our the same place, the same endeavour — towards demonstrating the diversity Isymphony orchestra is considered one and perfectly complement each other. and the quality of the artistic accom- of the fi nest university orchestras in the This edition of Phoenix then is all about plishments achieved here, and gives a EDITOR: SARAH BYRNE UK, and exists alongside an array of those intersections: the way an individ- glimpse into the complex reality that other musical groups and societies as ual balances their creative and scientifi c exists behind Imperial’s offi cial scien- SUBEDITOR: well as an award-winning dance com- accomplishments within their own life, tifi c face. ARIANNA SORBA pany. Several academic departments how different cultures and infl uences have artists-in-residence working come together to inspire original art, the – Sarah Byrne, Phoenix Editor DESIGN: TIM ARBABZADAH

ALSO THANKS TO: ELEANOR VINCENT LAUREN RATCLIFFE CORINNA LAMBERTI GRACE SINGH

Phoenix logo by Lauren Rat- cliffe

Cover photograph of the Mauna Kea astronomical observing site, courtesy of D. Clements

Phoenix Felix Ofﬁ ce, Beit Quadrangle, Epigenetics is something beyond or above genetic control. For example, identical Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB twins may look signiﬁ cantly different when they have grown up in different conditions. Tel: 020 7594 8072 Likewise, a bee and a bee pupae also have the same genetic code but look totally dif- Email: [email protected] ferent during their life time. These differences may stem from epigenetic control. Here Web: felixonline.co.uk/phoenix the hands represent control or manipulation, and small molecules are natural products which can modulate the epigenetic process.”

2 PHOENIX PHOENIX 3 Cover by Ken Srimongkolpithak

Translation is the process by which life produces proteins from genes. A complex of proteins called the ribosome reads a transcribed molecule of DNA called mRNA. As it reads the mRNA it sequentially assembles amino acids into proteins with the help of molecules called tRNA.” Cover by Ben Miles BEFORE THE DAWN

by Cosmin Badea

I slept alone last night I dreamt of your last smile. I hoped I’d see it shine Again.

I slept alone all winter I dreamt of what we were. I woke to ﬁ nd the world Aﬂ ame.

I slept alone all year I dreamt of how we lost. I hoped I’d not wake up Alive.

I slept alone for sixty years I dreamt of all the life we’d have I have been falling all my life Alone.

I have been sleeping since you left I feel I’ll soon wake up. I hoped I’d see your face again Before the dawn.

Art by Ken Srimongkolpithak

6 PHOENIX PHOENIX 7 SUNDAY DRIVER

FOLLOWING IN HG WELLS’ STEAMPUNK FOOTSTEPS

Imperial alumnus and parliamentary science advisor Chan- and play to me for an evening, it was magical. I’d love to dy Nath talks about her other life life as lead singer and know if it’s still there, because I loved that piano songwriter with steampunk/fusion band Sunday Driver, and traces her infl uences back to Phoenix magazine’s founder P: Did you know about Phoenix? HG Wells. SD: I have to admit I didn’t at the time. But I’d have loved to know about it, because HG Wells is linked to the whole My fi rst postdoc was in Phoenix: What’s it like being a scientist and a musician, steampunk thing which is a big inspiration for the band. And the Antarctic. I didn’t is it diffi cult to switch between the two? one of the not-so-good things about Imperial was the absence Sunday Driver: That bit’s not actually that diffi cult, it’s re- of any kind of arts or humanities, I really missed that. When hear a female voice for ally easy to just switch, I think because I’ve been doing both I was at Oxford I hung out with people who were doing hu- for so long. But the diffi cult bit is fi nding the creative space, manities, it’s really good to interact with people with differ- three months, I think so when everything gets busy at once it’s really diffi cult to ent mindsets, it opens your mind up a little bit. that might be why I decide whether to think about music or think about science and sometimes they push each other out. P: If you had the opportunity, would you give up your started singing... day job to be a musician full-time? P: And is it diffi cult to fi nd the time to devote to music? SD: No, if I had the opportunity, I would do science, but SD: It has been in the past. When I was a research scientist I’d do it on my terms. In some ways it would be nice to try “ it was really diffi cult, because you can’t choose your timings escaping from the routine. But in other ways I think it’s with research. I guess the job I’ve ended up in... it lends itself what’s allowed me to do what I’ve done: Sunday Driver is much more to allowing the space. Parliamentary recess is completely creative, we’re not governed by any need to ap- exactly when the festival season starts. But it can be a bit of peal to a market, we just write the songs and make the music a nightmare, it’s very hard to explain to people that you’re that comes to us. We’ve all had opportunities at one time or going to miss a meeting because you’ve got a gig. another to make that transition, and we’ve chosen not to. It used to tear me up a lot more, but now I’m really happy with P: Do you think your science inspires your music? the balance I’ve got.That’s one of the reasons I left research. SD: Yes, totally. A lot of my early songs were actually in- I don’t think I could have done research and been a singer, spired by things I did because of science. I’m not actually which is a shame, but it doesn’t allow you to have another sure if I’d ever have started doing music if I didn’t do sci- passion. ence, it’s symbiotic. My fi rst postdoc was as a glaciologist and I spent four or fi ve months in the Antarctic: that was P: When Sunday Driver started out, did you intention- when I really started writing my own songs, really decided I ally set out to create such a diverse band, in terms of the wanted to form a band. I kind of took a vow to myself... it’s different cultural and musical backgrounds you all have? ” quite funny, I loved being in the Antarctic but the work itself SD: Well, I always wanted to do that. I don’t really think the was so dull, it was so monotonous, and I just swore to my- other people in the band were that bothered, they just wanted self that when I got back I’d surround myself with noise and to make beautiful music, and because of the sorts of peo- colour and people and sounds, because you hear the same ple we were, and our backgrounds, it ended up being really sounds over and over again, the pop of explosives in the ice diverse. And that was always what I wanted, so I probably and the chugging of the snowmobile and the sound of the steered it in that direction, by bringing random tabla players shovel on snow... a hundred days with three blokes, even as along to band practices and forcing band members to play a female physicist I wasn’t prepared for that. I didn’t hear a instruments they’d never heard of. female voice for three months, I think that might be partly why I started singing to myself! P: What about the steampunk infl uence? SD: We never set out to be a steampunk band, but the steam- P: And do you think it works the other way round? punk scene has adopted us to some extent over the past few SD: It’s a more subtle thing, it’s more that the creativity and years, because the last couple of albums we’ve done have the performance gives me a lot more conviction, more con- very much drawn on the interface between the Victorians fi dence in what I’m saying. I think that if I’ve stood up on a and the British Raj, And steampunk’s very scientifi c. That’s stage and I’ve gigged to a thousand people, I can defi nitely something that really appeals to me, because I think a lot of write a report about nuclear security. So, yeah, it’s a con- the wonder and the passion the Victorians had about science fi dence thing really. And I think the science helps with the was one of the best things about that time, just the amount Steampunk’s very music, partly because I’m so desperate to get away from it! of excitement that science inspired, things like the Royal In- scientifi c...the wonder By the time I get to band practice, it’s such a massive relief. stitution and the Great Exhibition in the 1850s, and I like to Sometimes I leave work really stressed, and then after half an take myself back to that era to be excited about science again and passion the hour of singing practice I feel in a completely different place. sometimes. Victorians had about So yes, it helps me focus on everything else. P: What advice would you give Imperial students with an science was one of the P: When you were at Imperial, were you in any of the interest in music or art? best things about that musical or creative societies? SD: Totally go for it. I’d say anything is possible, and I really SD: Well no, it’s funny but actually I wasn’t involved in any- think you don’t have to choose between music and science, time thing musical at the time. I did creative things, but not as part Don’t push yourself into categories because you think that’s of clubs. I tried to write poetry, drew pictures... one of the what you are or that’s what people want. Try everything. If “ things I did get into at Imperial was playing the piano. There you’re into world fusion, make sure you listen to heavy rock. was a gorgeous grand piano in the Mechanical Engineering If you’re into heavy rock, make sure you go to the ballet. It’s building that anyone could go along and play, I used to drag about throwing different forms of art — different sounds — friends along and make them sit in an empty lecture theatre at yourself from all angles. And have fun with it really! EAST MEETS WEST 8 ” PHOENIX Sunday Driver play at The Forge, Camden, 10th May 2013. FIRE by Cosmin Badea

The ﬂ ames burn — orange and yellow. All that we have lived, in ﬂ ames. Black is the sky, black the future Only this moment burns lively Orange and yellow.

Fire has now touched The memory of that moment When we met. What we once felt, in ﬂ ames. White were we once, black is the ash Only a corner of the sad reﬂ ection is still burning Orange and yellow.

Catching ﬁ re now That kiss Which alone stopped the eternal. Sweet was your mouth, black is the pain. My seared lips taste the death of ages Still the ﬁ re rages...

Fire on the forest Of our own dreamt dreams Fire on the lake, the house, Fire in our house... Fire on the hearth Fire on the hearth...

Alone and afraid In a lonesome corner A lost, wasted child. Crying and attempting To put out with teardrops Such a ﬁ re wild.

Somewhere, far away, Alone and forlorn A girl that he haunts. Her eyes shut and teary, No more tears to cry No more hope she wants.

But the ﬁ re only Lives while it has feed Hope as oxygen, It has starved completely my Lungs already starving. The last drop of hope falls burning Orange and yellow.

After infi nity comes infi nity. (Anything burns, everything!) For an eternity the cold fi re's been rising But it has even burned its fl ames Which it had as wings in its fl ight From me, towards me.

After it, the silence.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SARAH BYRNE PHOENIX 11 Retrograde Progression by Ioanna Kalogeraki

Ioanna Kalogeraki is a 3rd year Greek, female EEE En- gineer, and will be leaving Imperial this year for an ex- change in Singapore:

This piece was made for the 2013 LeoSoc Exhibition, the title of which was “Retrograde Progression”. When I heard this phrase, I wanted to experiment with the connection between the past and the future in our lives, as I believe that our present is formed by the continuous interaction of these two. The eye on the left is the eye of my sister, symbolizing the future, while the one on the right belongs to my grandmother, symbolizing the past.”

12 PHOENIX PHOENIX 13 OF GUERILLA THE LAST GARDENERS

by David L. Clements

David L. Clements is an astrophysicist at Imperial College London. This story was inspired by an art- science collaboration at Imperial (see interview on page 21), and originally appeared in Nature Futures, Nature magazine’s science ﬁ ction feature.

hey came for broadcast my guilt. As I left her road, me as well. copying system on the planet. Now es. Gardener’s Question Time became purple carrot. Serious action only came were forced underground. Home gar- Purple carrots growing at the bottom of season, so some of my seeds were going Scientifi c sense ‘Percy Thrower’ the sterilization van arrived, its fl ame I couldn’t go home. Most of the peo- they’ve eliminated fi le sharing they’ll such a political hot potato it was can- when self-propagating super-plants dens were no longer safe, so we became his garden and carpeted the Prime Min- out of the window. last night. I was throwers ready to destroy ‘Percy’s’ ir- ple I trusted had been picked up. I stayed come for the seed sharers.” celled by the BBC. And then came the were found growing by a road in Nor- guerrilla gardeners — a secret society ister. Of course, ‘Monty’ and his cata- As for the rest… was never going on my way to de- replaceable collection of plants. on the bus as it passed my stop and She’d been a university botanist for Chelsea Flower-Show Riots. folk. sharing seeds and planting contraband pult didn’t help. There are islands off the Scottish coast to stand up to liver some Pink I got away. The others weren’t so headed into central London. The clean- years but left when it became clear that When I got off the bus I saw the police “Businessmen don’t understand that crops in public spaces. Now the only guerrilla gardener left contaminated by bioweapons testing Brandywine to- lucky. up crews were obvious, torching col- all the grants were controlled by big ag- at the station. But it was just the usual biology is a lot messier than digital We tended them at night or just scat- is me. from the Second World War. People are irate politicians mato seeds when As I waited for the bus I checked our lections of wild fl owers in the roadside ribusiness. We knew we were in trouble patrols, not yet a manhunt. Maybe word copying,” ‘Percy’ had said as we talked tered seeds far and wide to let nature I collected my escape stash from Left forbidden and there are no sheep or rab- I saw the fi rst po- secure server and realized they were beds that I’d seeded from bus windows when Kew was sold off and Henry Dou- of my escape had yet to reach them. I in her potting shed. “There’s a dozen take its course. That’s when the network Luggage along with Monty’s seed cata- bits. But their climate is ideal. The seed shouting lice car. I turned rolling up the whole network. ‘Monty’ while commuting. bleday broken up. Their vast seed col- headed for Left Luggage. perfectly natural ways the terminator started and we adopted our noms de pult. The wig, hat and glasses helped catapult has enough range to reach them “Something must the corner and had been the fi rst, but in catapulting a All the hard work, all the beautiful, lections became the intellectual property We were called economic terror- gene might have failed. One cosmic ray vert. me slip past the tighter police patrols from a boat offshore. be done!” saw a fl eet of them parked outside her package of herb seeds into Buckingham irreplaceable diversity, stamped out by of a few huge corporations. Unlicensed ists, threatening profi ts from high-cost, taking out the right base pair would be We were too successful. Nature was and onto the sleeper to Fort William. Or I could land and make certain Thouse, complete with sniffer dogs and a Palace gardens he’d gone too far. His ar- commercial greed. If I’d’ve had the ma- seeds were already illegal to sell, but highyield, terminator-gene strains that enough!” indeed the great copier. Our wilder Locked in my cabin I shaved my dis- they’re properly planted. The seeds will space-suited forensic team heading for rest had been the trigger for raids across chinery with me I’d’ve leapt off the bus once companies owned the rare strains, would feed the world and soak up ex- But scientifi c sense was never going strains could fend for themselves and tinctive beard and used clippers so that do well on the islands, even if I don’t.

“ her potting shed. the country. ‘Bob’ had sent out a warn- and seeded the palace gardens myself. they stopped collectors sharing them for cess CO2. But we just wanted tasty veg- to stand up to irate politicians shouting started to spread. I’d match the fake ID in my stash. In a few years they’ll become a reserve

I averted my eyes and walked past ing as they smashed down his door, but ‘Percy’ had started the whole thing free. They wanted to control it all. PHOTOGRAPHY BY SARAH BYRNE etables from our own gardens, unusual “Something must be done!” The gloves fi nally came off when the The train would go through a lot of for natural, noncommercial diversity on the opposite side of the road, feeling they’d been ready for us all. If I hadn’t with a few prophetic words: At fi rst we tried to stop them. There fl owers smelling as good as they looked, Fines became prison sentences, the director of Smaxo’s agricultural divi- isolated country. The clean up crews no matter what happens to me, the last the envelope of illegal seeds in my pack been on a delivery run they’d’ve caught “Biology is the biggest peer-to-peer were protests, lobbies and mass march- and the opportunity to eat the occasional Seed Squads were established and we sion found a clump of illegal Afghan couldn’t cover all that ground in one guerrilla gardener. 14 ” PHOENIX PHOENIX 15 Art meets Sport WITH IMPERIAL’S WITH IMPERIAL’S COMPANY DANCE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DUNCAN MARTIN

16 PHOENIX ance is about creative expression. College Union Dance Company gath- strength, ﬂ exibility, balance and athleti- Dance can be narrative art and storytell- ered on campus to help create a photo- cism required, developed through many ing. Dance can be about structure, dis- shoot for this magazine. From the his- hours of dedicated practice. cipline and perfection in every detail, or toric backdrop of the Queen’s Tower to it can be about improvisation, spontane- the blue-glass mirrored exterior of the ity and exploration. There aren’t many Faculty building, Imperial’s campus — forms of art that are so versatile or that with its contrasts and contradictions — so well illustrate the intersections be- provided the ideal location. The dancers tween different types of creativity. Es- demonstrated graceful classical ballet pecially when the dancers themselves poses alongside dynamic contempo- are also scientists and engineers. That’s rary techniques. The images we created D why on a bright but cold Sunday morn- show how beautiful the different forms ing this May, members of the Imperial of dance can be. They also speak of the SCIENCE MEETS LITERATURE

DAVE CLEMENTS ON SCIENCE FICTION AND FACT

Dr Dave Clements is an astrophysicist my research, some of it isn’t. So for ex- tion that you can’t say in research, and at school. It’s always been there in the in Imperial’s physics department and ample, there’s a story I had published in vice versa. I think one of the things background at some level. Sometimes it is involved in several ESA and NASA Analog that’s set around a neutron star, that motivates me, at least in the hard gets more attention, and now that I’ve observational projects including the I don’t actually do any work on neutron science fi ction that I write, is that I’m got a reasonably secure position here, Planck mission. He also writes short stars but the basic concept of the story trying to put a human scale, or human I’m writing more. fi ction, and his hard science fi ction sto- came while I was sitting in a seminar interaction into what I do research on. ries have appeared in various publica- on neutron stars. But another one is the Because I’m an extragalactic astrono- P: If you had the opportunity, would Research is creative. tions including Analog Magazine and story I had published in Nature, Last mer, that makes putting it on a human you give up your day job to be a writ- Nature Futures (see story on page 14). of The Guerilla Gardeners, that arose scale rather diffi cult. But showing er full-time? The creative muscles from an art-science collaboration with somehow that the vast distances, the DC: I’ve thought about that. In the un- used in research and Phoenix: Where do you get your Vanessa Harden from the Royal Col- vast gulfs of time involved, comparing likely event that I do get some level ideas, and are they inspired by your lege of Art, who did an exhibit on gue- those to a human span — that’s what of success with novel-writing, I think writing are much science? rilla gardening. I try to do. And also, at some level, I would still want some connection to Dave Clements: Where you get your refl ect the — how do I say it without the real science. The two feed off each the same, you’re just ideas is one of the cliché questions peo- P: Do you fi nd that being a writer, sounding depressing? — the insignifi - other, in my mind at least. pushing them in a ple get asked, especially if you’re writ- being a creative person, affects the cance of us on cosmological scales. ing science fi ction. The answer is, ideas research you do? P: Which writers do you most ad- different direction are everywhere. It’s not that people DC: Research is creative. The creative P: What inspired you to fi rst start mire, or aspire to be like? writing science fi ction are particularly muscles used in research and in writing writing? DC: Who I admire and who I’d like to “ good at ideas — it’s taking an idea, a are much the same, you’re just pushing DC: Reading. I guess the fi rst thing I be like are somewhat different ques- concept, and turning it into a story that’s them in a different direction, that’s the wrote that could be described as science tions. There are writers out there, like the hard thing. Some of it is inspired by way I feel it. You can say things in fi c- fi ction was when I was about nine or ten William Gibson, or China Miéville, PHOENIX ”21 who are just astoundingly good, and I fandom. I’ve run conventions, and it’s P: Do you think modern science fi c- would be the Nature story [Last of the could never be like them. But people also what I read. But that doesn’t mean tion is becoming more literary, espe- Guerrilla Gardeners, published in Na- like Al Reynolds, Charlie Stross, Paul I haven’t got the ideas for some more cially in the short fi ction world, with ture]. I came this close to having my McAwley, Stephen Baxter, they are mainstream stories, novels, fl oating places like Clarkesworld publishing Nature Futures story in the same issue more in the department of what I’m try- around in my mind. work quite literary in style? that I had a paper that I co-authored. Un- ing to do. But they’ve spent a lot more DC: There’s always a space for that. fortunately we didn’t manage to swing I came this close to time building up their writing careers, P: What do you think about the Maybe the fact that I’ve never managed it, but that would have been fun. and I’ve spent my time building up an “lablit” genre? Do you think that’s to get anything into Clarkesworld dem- having my Nature academic career. going to become a big thing? onstrates that perhaps they are more lit- P: Finally, what advice would you give Futures story in the DC: I’ve published a few things on the erary! There’s always been a spectrum, to students or young scientists who P: Do you have any plans to write a Lablit.com site. I know Jenny Rohn, with people like Jeff Ryman, who were want to combine writing or other cre- same issue that I novel for publication? who runs it, and I like what she’s doing, much more literary than people like Ar- ative pursuits with a scientifi c career? had a paper that I DC: I am writing one at the moment, but I feel she draws the line between thur C. Clarke, even though they were DC: Keep doing it. Writing, whether going through the revisions at this science fi ction and “lablit” a little bit writing at the same time. It’s not a hard it’s a scientifi c paper, a piece of fi ction, co-authored... that stage. We’ll see how that goes! too rigidly, and there’s a lot more com- solidly delineated “you’re one thing or a nonfi ction article, or a lab report, the would have been fun monality between the two. The prob- the other” — there’s a shading. more you practice communicating in the P: Why did you choose to write sci- lem, at least in the UK, with science written form, the better you will get at it. “ ence fi ction rather than another gen- fi ction is the old “two cultures”, where P: What would you say was your I imagine that’s also true for visual arts, re or more mainstream fi ction? frankly literature-based literary critics proudest achievement as a writer? for acting, for, well, for doing science! If DC: I’ve been in the science fi ction are scared of science. They can’t tell DC: If I was wearing my science fi ction you want to do something, you get bet- world for a long time. When I was a what’s made up and what’s not. They fan hat, it would be the Analog story ter at it by doing it. Not by reading about student here I ran the science fi ction don’t like science very much, so they [A War of Stars, published in Analog doing it, not by watching movies about society, and from that I got involved don’t have a basis to understand it, and magazine]. But bearing in mind that I’m people who are doing it, but by doing it. in what’s known as the science fi ction so they denigrate the whole thing. sitting in my offi ce here at Imperial, it So keep on keeping on. ”

Photography from the Urban Sputnik project, an art-science collaboration with Imperial’s Astrophysics group. urbansputnik.com

Photos courtesy of Vanessa Harden

PHOENIX 23 A WALK IN HYDE PARK

by Evangelos Venieris

How calm the gladsome branches in the solemn breeze that stirs My name is Evangelos Venieris, Evan to friends. I com- the untenanted silence of the footpaths pleted the EEE MEng degree at Imperial College and have that slink away from the engines’ clamour recently started a PhD in the fi eld of sensor array commu- to a wild patch of grass nications in the same department. in deep oaken shades! H to He, and my shadow absorbs whichever frequency dare fall into its cavernous black-hole. That same shadow trails my steps, slung as a seditious aura of sedation of fi gurative mechanical motions of circuitous circulating inhibitions as if some mercurial potion sought to release its portents to the unsuspecting air, to the astonished ghosts that in the foggy hours cluster like frayed electrons around the magnetic pull of a life-brimming meadow whose edges, held to place by unseen dwarfs heavily heaving the burden of the sky, are electrifi ed with the strange reactions of cells breathing in unison, of pores singing dioxidic songs, of radiation scorching untrodden carpets, and high aloft on full and plump clouds a fortress proud and tall, towers and wide gates that inebriate with mesmeric legends of obscure rivalrous destinies are set up in quantum leaps by the giant hands of some atemporal subspectral power of imagining. And with the ambitions of crumbling empires dying in the distance, I keep measuring my shadows stemming from an oaken frame as I still plod the silent footpaths in a giddy mood The main inspiration for my poetry is the heaven’s wines invoked and always has been an innate yearn- with persistent libations ing for freedom, whether it be lodged from the subconscious crevices in world mythology, in the silence of the the ground and each consecutive heatwave forest or in the energy of a rock band, unseal in their maddening as well as the endless possibilities of and violent full bloom language, which, if correctly wielded, as they summon the fl uttering of unwinged may open the fl oodgates to the blurring scents of revolving roulettes of seasons, of all known boundaries between reality painting quaint vignettes and the imperceptible.” of the fl eeting dream that was Spring.

24 PHOENIX PHOENIX 25 TRUTH hands by Cosmin Badea

by Denis Hyka Truth Can be most painful Right when it brings the end Of the belief in evil. Right when it brings the death Of cruelty. Because it suddenly uncovers The cruelty That you allowed to be born Believing in evil And to trickle down As burning tar to hurt All the open heart Which won’t close, depart, ‘Till it brings about Truth.

DAWN

by Cosmin Badea

I know that life is but a dream That never comes again And some just want to set their hearts Aﬂ ame, But all I wanted was to keep To keep us two alive. Before it ends and we wake up, Before the dawn, I look around, I seek inside, But ﬁ nd I die alone.

Denis Hyka is from Albania and currently works for Imperial College in catering.

I started to draw and paint when I was in kindergarten. Since then it has always remained as a hobby, with a desire to do and create more, and I’m always trying to stay true to my style hoping to reach a wider audience. I like to draw hands and bring them into focus as they play an important part on the way we express our feelings in different situations. In this drawing I wanted to capture some ﬂ eeting moments of different people while focusing on their hands. With their strength, elegance, shapes hands say a lot about someone’s personality.”

26 PHOENIX FAITH

by Arthur Fox

Arthur Fox is a 4th year MEng Computing (Games, Vision and Interaction) student, and will be starting a graduate job at Sony’s London Studio after his degree. His interest in games has always been predominantly on the creative side: gameplay, design, music and story, and in order to explore this he took Music Technology and Creative Writing as humanities options in his ﬁ nal year. Faith is an extract from one of the pieces he submitted for the Creative Writ- ing course. It was inspired by his insatiable curiosity about mythology and a desire to humanise the Gods, with a view to expressing their struggle in gathering followers in our modern society.

Back in the Golden Age, Hades always had ﬁ rst pick of the most interesting people, he was so down “with pop culture...

’m bored! This just isn’t awesome, there was blood and gore eve- er be in Eden — even after Eve ate that Ares looked up at the dilapidated col- one really noticing. I’ve even heard he’s It’s vile! The fl ames aren’t properly tongues at once it still didn’t cheer him them. “We have beaten our forefathers words provided her with solace: fair, humans suck!” rywhere!” damn apple!” umns and sighed. “They used to reach so having an affair with one of the Devas. looked after and they don’t even allow up. I think… I think I may have even and we will rise again” — he just needed ‘To earn their faith we must fi rst have “Now, now my dear, “Be patient son. You know the saying Ares was right. Olympus was a mess. high you couldn’t even see where they I’m happy for him.” pets in, poor Cerberus” had to wait out- seen him shed a tear for the fi rst time.” A to think up a plan. Centuries had passed faith in ourselves.’ calm down, there’s ‘patience is a virtue’; well your father The once crystal blue waters that had ended. I remember racing Hermes to the Hera paused for a second, and pon- side when we visited.” high pitch squeal escaped her lips as she and he had yet to formulate one. “Hey look on the bright side, at least “ no need to be upset. invented it. It was through it that we run through the Acropolis were now a top — of course he cheated and used his dered about what it would be like to “Hades was so upset when we left,” struggled to contain herself. “Oh, we were so happy back then,” we’re not in Valhalla!” Ares exulted. You know your father earned our place here to begin with — misty grey and the fountains that had sandals.” move away herself, start afresh, meet she sighed “Not because he couldn’t af- Ares stood up and rushed over to his sobbed Hera. She remembered sitting Hera chuckled and a smile formed on has been formulating without it Olympus would still be ruled once showered the lush fi elds were “Ha! I remember that day. You kids someone new and fall in love all over ford all the glamour, fl ashing lights and mother, his bronze armour squeaking by Zeus’ side. He was the man of her her face again. a plan for some time by that oaf Kronus, I mean could you barely able to form a dribble. Hera re- were always up to mischief.” again. The thought excited her, but then bohemian lifestyle that Hell offered — like a rusty bicycle chain. He wrapped dreams, so strong and wonderful, her “I hear Valhalla is so empty nowadays now, we’ll get over this imagine that?” membered how the grass had once been “What’s he up to now, mother? I came that same old realisation, here she he was never into that kind of décor, he his arms around her, squeezing them lover and her own brother! All those you could mistake Odin for one of the slump.” Hera smiled at “True, from all I’ve heard grandfather so vibrant and green that even Yaweh haven’t seen my dear brother in centu- was Queen — if she left she would be preferred the more traditional haunted tightly. soppy humans had worshipped them un- statues! You know, apparently they’re her son across the table; it was a very must have been a real bore.” Ares lifted had commented on it. “The grass is ries.” a nobody. look he gave the Underworld. No, it “Don’t cry mother, I’m still here for conditionally. so short on Valkyries, that they’ve even comprehendingI smile. his chalice off the table and took a swig always greener on the other side,” she “Well you know what Maia and those “Now that Hermes has gone, poor Ha- was the sheer volume of people that you.” How things had changed. Zeus’ once begun accepting cross-dressers!” “It’s just, I don’t know what to do with of the violet liquid. Glancing down at had sneered. Of course, Hera knew very Pleiades whores are like, his mother des has nobody to guide all the souls to saddened him. Back in the Golden Age, These past couple of millennia had resplendent white beard was now strag- Their laughter fi lled the air — laugh- myself, mother. Before, when I wanted the ground he spotted his spear lying well that it wasn’t, nobody’s grass was never gave him the guidance he de- the Underworld,” she continued, trying Hades always had fi rst pick of the most been hard, so many had deserted their gly and grey. Hera wasn’t one to talk ter was always the best medicine. entertainment I just started wars or there lifelessly, the once golden weapon as green as theirs. But those days had served. I heard he travelled East, got to distract herself. “Although it seems interesting people, he was so down with ranks. But they couldn’t leave. They either, her once soft skin had grown so “I love you son,” she said smiling. “At killed things. The Spartans loved me for had now turned a dull shade of copper. long passed, now the grass was patchy himself involved with Vishnu’s lot. that few want to go there nowadays, pop culture. ruled Olympus. If they left what would hard and cracked that she had gone as least we still have each other.” it! Do you remember that time I came “But still, what’s it all worth now? and in some places wilted. Mother Na- They have so many deities over there most are heading to that dreaded place “Even when Cerberus did that trick there be? far as removing all the mirrors from “Love you too mother — yeah, at least

down and slew the Ekhidnades — it was Look at this place, it’s in ruins! I’d rath- ture had far better gardens to tend to. that he was able to slip in without any- BY KEN SRIMONGKOLPITHAK ILLUSTRATION Satan calls his home. Have you been? where he licks him with all three “We are strong,” Zeus had reminded her room. Yet, the thought of Athena’s we’ll always have that!”

28 PHOENIX PHOENIX 29 AND YOU ARE NO SAINT soap by Shoaib Rizvi

by Emilie Sylvia Stammers

eing a bar of in grimy tide marks. My companions so pale. He doesn’t talk to us much. I spattered mirror to examine herself. I try to escape from the sweaty grip soap is far include the forlorn-looking sponge, the wish he did, because that might shut the Us bars of soap get thinner with every of human hands by exuding a slippery from a glam- snooty shower gel and the toothbrush, shower gel up. He’s always lording it passing use, but this is far from a good foam, but they are not deterred. They orous life. My who appears to be in a state of perma- over us because he cost more and appar- thing. It means we’re dying. Once we simply grip me more ﬁ rmly and con- home is a dish nent shock. I can’t say I’m surprised: ently smells nicer. But am I the one who get too thin, we are thrown into the bin tinue to clean themselves. That’s surely encrusted with the human mouth must be a disgusting contains chemicals blamed for causing which lives underneath the sink, to join the worst part of being a bar of soap, but slime from my place, if their feet are anything to go by. cancer? No! That shut him up nicely. the empty bottles and bits of wet cotton they’re merciless. Damn, here comes predecessors, The only bathroom implement worse Humans are stupidly obsessed with wool. I’m not sure what happens after one now. placed next to off than me or the toothbrush is the toi- being thin, I noticed the other night as that, but I have heard rumours to do Not shower time already, surely? Ba bath covered let paper. No wonder he always looks one of them peered into the toothpaste- with burial and burning. Crap.

Emilie penned the above for a friend’s band. Emilie was a fellow cupcake worshipper, particularly of the hummingbird variety. She was oft-clad in colourful tights; a niche she dominated ﬁ rmly pushing me out early on. I’m convinced words were what rushed through her veins, often spilling out as a well put-together blog post, Felix article or who knows what else. One memory which sticks is from an ecology lecture, where we were asked to think up of an analogy for scramble competition. On the spot, without a moment’s hesitation, I’m Shoaib Rizvi, a 3rd year medical student at Imperial. I am no miracle and you are no saint is a mixed media self Emilie created a scene of women ﬁ ghting in the Boxing Day sales. portrait created by combining different doodles I made throughout the year. It is an introspective look at my experiences This mistress of metaphor is sorely missed by oh-so-many and her with two different worlds and how they come together in my mind.” sweet-kindness will not be forgotten.” – J. Humphries I AM NO MIRACLE 30 PHOENIX PHOENIX 31 MUSIC shudder moments

MEETS by J. Humphries PHYSICS

RYOTA ICHINOSE TALKS ABOUT HIS DOUBLE LIFE AT IMPERIAL AND THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF MUSIC

You’re developing your artistic and your analytical mind at the same time, and I believe in the future that will help me. It “gives you an edge

Ryota Ichinose is a violinist and a fi - RI: To some extent, yes, because phys- practice, and despite the fact that I re- ics, but as you progress it gets to be musicians are also good mathemati- nal year undergraduate on the 4-year ics itself requires sole concentration, so ally enjoy playing the violin, and I actu- more and more music, and I believe this cians. But I haven’t really thought BSc Physics and Music Performance when I’m revising for physics exams I ally enjoyed preparing for my last vio- year it’s 70% music and 30% physics. about it to any deep extent. But there’s programme, taught jointly by Imperial don’t practice much violin, and when lin exams, I don’t think I can live under It’s actually quite tough, because you’re some kind of connection there, maybe. and the RCM. He told us about how he I’m preparing for a music exam I don’t that kind of stress for my entire life. So essentially doing two bachelor degrees balances two demanding disciplines in do much physics. At the RCM [Royal no, perhaps not for me. at once. I complete all the usual physics P: Who’s your favourite composer, or the same time most of us take to study College of Music], I have to compete modules that a BSc student would do favourite style of music? one subject! with people who study solely music, P: Do you ever fi nd it diffi cult to in three years, but for me it’s four years RI: Within the framework of the kind of who practice about 8 hours a day, and switch between the very logical and because of the music. So time manage- classical music you learn at the RCM, Phoenix: So you’re” a student on the that’s something I just can’t do because analytical kind of mindset you need ment is really key. I’d say I like the Romantic music the joint Physics and Music course at Im- I don’t have the time. So it is diffi cult, for physics, and the more expressive best. I regard myself as quite an emo- perial. That’s quite an unusual com- yes. and creative musical side? P: So is it a good course? Would you tional guy, I like conveying my feelings bination to study. Can you tell me a RI: Yes, I fi nd that I have diffi culty in recommend it? when I’m playing my violin, and I like bit about why you chose it? P: Do you have any plans for when interactions with friends at Imperial — RI: I’d defi nitely recommend it. If it when other people do that too. So Ryota Ichinose: Well, the violin has al- you fi nish your degree? Do you want because their brains work so logically, you’re like me, if you work harder you that’s why I fi nd the modern stuff a bit ways been a big part of my life. I started to continue with music, or physics, or sometimes I can’t convey my musical feel better about yourself afterwards. pretentious. But I listen to other kinds playing when I was fi ve years old, and try to combine both somehow? and artistic thoughts to them. And it’s And you’re developing your artistic and of music as well. it helped me a lot as I grew up. For ex- RI: I’m going on to a Masters next year, actually vice versa with music. In mu- your analytical mind at the same time, ample, when I fi rst came to England, but in nanotechnology, which is kind of sic lessons, some of the things they say and I believe in the future that will help P: Do you think Imperial’s a good when I was ten, I couldn’t speak any unrelated to music. I chose it because are more about feelings than logical me in some ways. It gives you an edge place for people interested in arts and English. But when I played the violin, I of my fi nal year project, which I really thought processes, and how you can use basically, because not many people music? Do you think there’s a good could get some respect from other peo- enjoyed. I do think it’s a bit of a shame music to convey those feelings. With have that sort of background. community for that kind of thing? ple, I wasn’t just this person who can’t that I won’t actually be studying mu- physics it’s more about logical steps, RI: If you regard music as a hobby, not speak English. So the violin’s always sic any more, but I won’t just quit the one after another. So they’re very dif- P: It is quite unusual. Do you feel a profession, then Imperial provides a been part of my life. In terms of phys- violin. I’ll try to join some orchestras, ferent. there’s any connection between the good environment. You can have a lot ics, I’ve always excelled at physics dur- or maybe even organise some solo con- two things? Does being a musician of fun. There’s a very good symphony ing school, I really enjoyed it. So when certs if I can. P: Can you tell me a bit about the make you a better scientist in any orchestra, which I’m a part of, and I I heard about this course, it just seemed course, about how much time you way, or does being a scientist make think it’s been rated as one of the top perfect. P: Did you consider doing postgradu- spend on the different aspects of it? you approach your music different- in the UK, some time ago. I think Im- ate studies in music? Is it about 50/50 between physics and ly? perial has the most societies out of any P: Has it been diffi cult to fi nd the time RI: Well, if you want to become a pro- music? RI: I think there have been studies that universities in the UK — there’s lots of to devote to both music and physics? fessional violinist, that requires a lot of RI: In the fi rst year it was mainly phys- often found that people who are good stuff going on!

32 PHOENIX PHOENIX 33 fairy cakes

by J. Humphries

34 PHOENIX PHOENIX 35

LEONARDO FINE ARTS SOCIETY unionpage

Imperial College Union will be launching a volunteer accreditation scheme in the autumn to support our volunteers to develop key skills that will assist them in their volunteer roles.

Part of the programme will include six skills based workshops, four of which must be participated in to achieve an accredited award. EVENTS THIS WEEK We will be piloting the below imperialcollegeunion.org/stressless workshops in late June and would like to invite students to participate in them, providing feedback on how they could be improved. For volunteers who would like to participate in the programme from the autumn, they can include any BOXFIT workshops attended now towards their accreditation. Thursday 13 June, 12:00-12:45 and 16:00-17:00 All students will be given a £10 Union Shop voucher for each workshop attended in acknowledgement of their time. Free Queen’s Lawn Introduction to…Planning & Organisation skills Thursday 20 June, 12:15 – 14:00, Beit Quad BoxFit is a great form of exercise, Introduction to…Communication skills Friday 21 June, 12:15 – 14:00, Beit Quad a high intensity workout and a Introduction to…Effective Team Working skills Tuesday 25 June 17:30 - 19:15, Beit Quad fantastic way to lose weight. It helps develop your overall strength If you would like to attend any of these workshops, please e-mail Nick Snow, Student Development Manager (n.snow@ as well as balance and dynamic imperial.ac.uk) specifying the workshop you would like to attend. Places are limited. ﬂexibility, also improving stamina and coordination. A great way to get all that frustrating stress out of your system.

Union Survey - closes Wednesday 12 June In case of bad weather BoxFit will be held in Court 5, Ethos. For five minutes of your time The Union Survey is your chance to let us know what you think about the many services that we run and provide. The survey only takes a few minutes to complete and helps us undertsand how to make your Union you could win an better for you.

Take the survey online at imperialcollegeunion.org/survey and you could ipad mini win one of the following prizes: • An iPad Mini (WiFi 16GB Black) & more great prizes! • 2 x £20 Union Shop vouchers • £50 of Summer Ball drink tokens!

This is the third Union Survey we have run and already we have made big changes as a result of your feedback. Our ‘You said, We did’ campaign highlights the changes we have made. Some of those changes include: • Introduced great monthly drinks offers our bars • Started selling healthy snacks in the newsagent • Improved the speed of eActivities by moving it to a new, faster, server • Launched new nights in Metric including our new indie night Indigo • Started hosting sexual health clinics on campus with free STI testing • Introduced new monthly offers in the shop on stationery and clothing • Regular visits to other campuses including Hammersmith and Silwood • Launched a new, easier to use, comments and complaints procedure • Started our Stress Less campaign

DON’T FORGET, THE UNION SURVEY CLOSES THIS WEDNESDAY! This really does help us to improve everything we do, so help us keep improving for you. We will be selecting winners at random for the prize draw and announcing them online. imperialcollegeunion.org/survey

imperialcollegeunion.org FRIDAY 07 JUNE 17 Music Editors: Riaz Agahi Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter MUSIC [email protected] Review: Shampoo Boy Ross Gray explores Peter Rehberg’s dark new collaboration

lackest Ever Black, the and the extreme to great eff ect con- derneath the abrasion that can eas- is fairly dark and omi- aptly named London la- stantly throughout. I often hear dis- ily be grabbed onto. It reminds me of nous through the dura- bel that has been grab- cussions of how noise music and Prurient’s use of piano and strings tion; the quieter mo- bing attention with ambient music are two extremes of underneath crushing noise, adding an ments where one might Bcrushingly dark elec- the same scale, and are just diff erent element of euphoria to the piece. begin to take on an op- tronic releases for the past few years, manifestations of the same musical It is diffi cult to get through a de- timistic mood are crept seems like an ideal home for Peter Re- aim. h is can be heard throughout scription of this album without draw- upon by foreboding, un- hberg (PITA, Editions Mego head), this album; there are moments of full- ing comparison to Rehberg’s work easy sounds, as is imple- Christina Nemec, and Christian blown PITA style glitch – never rhyth- with Stephen O’Malley as KTL, es- mented particularly well Schachinger’s new project Shampoo mic, always droning – over prolonged, pecially as upon holding the physical in ‘Still’. Reviewing this Boy. distorted guitar tones followed by am- release you immediately see that the on a sunny summer day One for fans of drone of all kinds bient, somewhat soothing passages. minimalistic artwork is credited to instead of huddled over and dark ambient, Shampoo Boy’s h is contrast is most prominent in O’Malley. Licht opens with menacing in a depressed hump in improvised debut Licht can be seen the moments where there are some guitar and bass drones and these con- the dead of winter feels to further Rehberg’s work in KTL, sounds pushing the machinery to its tinue fairly steadily throughout, vary- like somewhat of an in- where dark atmospherics were domi- limit (as mentioned above) whilst, si- ing from nearly Sunn O)))-level deep sult to the work, but it nant but the instruments and sounds multaneously, others could have been resonation to barely detectable whis- does make for prime late were largely kept tightly contained. pulled from music written by Steve pers in the ambient sections. night staying at home Licht consistently feels as if it is push- Roach on a bad acid trip. It strikes me as somewhat odd that music. ing the limits of the equipment it is be- h ese sections fl ow into each other some of the elements that seem to have h ere’s a remarkably diverse range the most important way this stunning ing played through, like control could continually and smoothly, somewhat carried over from KTL would, you’d of timbres to be found within Licht debut manages to keep an air of un- be lost at any second and the work aided by always holding one instru- think, have been due to O’Malley’s and I may have undersold this by just ease and discomfort at all times; the descend into unrestrained scream- ment at a lower level; no matter how work. h at said, a hefty amount of the focusing on the parts that grabbed me constant threat of something worse. ing noise reminiscent of Merzbow. much the guitar or electronics are soft electronic fuzz borrows heavily most; whilst the work remains the- h is album is yet another triumph for h ere’s a sense that the distortion of screaming, there is almost always from Rehberg’s earlier work and the matically related throughout, this is the already incredibly strong set of these ominous, unrelenting drones some softer, ambient slow textures prolifi c output of Editions Mego. not achieved via consistently using the Blackest Ever Black releases this year, could escape and envelop the sound- happening underneath the top-level Despite the inherent euphoria held same sounds, but rather through the further emphasising their reputation scape completely at any moment. intensity. h is makes the noise more in some parts of the album (especially full incorporation of this threatening for being able to fi nd some of the most Licht manages to balance the quiet accessible, having a soft melody un- the parts most informed by Mego), it undertone at all times. h at is perhaps chilling music out there.

Album Review: Palms BE SURE NOT TO MISS Riaz Agahi Music Editor

Released on Mike Patton’s Ipecac label, Palms sees 3 members of Isis join Chino Moreno of Deftones fame, making an album whose sound is somewhere between the two. Where Aaron Turner’s inscrutable vocals on esoteric, often philosophical topics (Panopticon) or abstract concept albums (Oceanic) gave Isis an ethereal quality, Palms has the more clear-cut and emotive singing of Chino Moreno. of drums, bass and guitar that charac- It appears that the delivery of the terized Isis. Sometimes dismissed as Scanner: h e Haxan Cloak Oren Ambarchi Presents JJ Doom Isis members has taken a bit of a page hipster metal, Isis’ albums always re- Bishopsgate Institute ‘Knots’ with Strings Fabric from Deftones and in doing so creates ceived a large portion of critical rec- Saturday Cafe Oto h ursday something unique in the back cata- ognition, especially alongside many Wednesday logues of either group. diverse projects within post-metal. To put it more plainly, the album h is project, however, represents a has roots in the past materials of both movement into rock territory. Scanner opens a collection of sound Ambarchi provides a solo live per- Fabric and Red Bull Music Acad- Isis and Deftones, but brings both into Particularly moments in tracks like installations inspired by John Dow- formance with a twist at Cafe Oto. emy team up to bring the Infamous new ground. It could then be that this ‘Tropics’ seem to be informed by a pop land’s ‘Lachrimae’. He will be joined He presents ‘Knots’ the epic center- masked New York rapper DOOM album has appeal to both fans of Isis sensibility of sorts. As with any die by purveyor of orchestral doom and piece of last year’s Audience Of One back to the UK, in a live showcasing of and Deftones, as well as people who hard fan of either band, extensive lis- multi-instrumentalist Bobby Krlic along with frequent collaborator Joe the JJ Doom project with Jneiro Jarel are unfamiliar with either. tening is required to appreciate Palms (The Haxan Cloak), who will be Talia on drums and a large ensem- on h ursday following the release of Specifi c highs include the album in spite of the greatness of old work. presenting a new piece of music also ble that includes James Rushford on their critically acclaimed debut album, ender ‘Antarctic Handshake,’ which Palms takes the form of an emotive drawing heavily from ‘Lachrimae’, as cello among many other performers. Key To e Kuff s last year. is an epic musical journey lasting al- album where Moreno’s vocals are the well as some works from his 2013 al- h e 30-minute-plus piece builds and Heavy support provided by every- most ten minutes. Perhaps this choice key centerpiece, compared to being bum Excavation. decays through various themes and one’s favourite Californian exile and shows my assessment of the album, as treated as simply another instrument I’ll be jumping on the chance to its interpretation by a large ensemble prominent Dublab member Kutmah, this work would comfortably sit some- as in Isis. It does seem, however, that see an original work performed live promises to provide some interest- alongside wonky hip-hop UK native where in the Isis discography. Like Palms is a great album in its own right. by The Haxan Cloak; especially at ing moments. If all that isn’t enough, Bambooman, who has been part of many of their fans, I just really like Isis, £5 for students. The night also fea- there’s also the premiere live perfor- a recent movement to move found and tracks like ‘Antartic Handshake’ or Palms’ self titled debut comes out 26th tures inventive audiovisual installa- mance from Mark Harwood’s Astor sound and fi eld recording into more ‘Shortwave Radio’ deliver the interplay June on Ipecac Records tion from The Computer Junk Or- project. dance-fl oor friendly material. 18 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] Let us all cleanse our souls acter development for the family dy- The Purge namic. Headey is much less interesting here without her Queen Regent Director: James DeMonaco Cersei Lannister’s sharp dialogue or Screenwriter: James DeMonaco costumes, and Hawke is as smoothly Starring: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, convincing as he always is, although Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane he isn’t allowed to give much range to his performance. However when the blood-thirsty, psychotic gang does break in, it’s all tremendously fun. It’s intriguing to John Park Film Editor see what the ordinary citizens are capable of – when the beast is un- leashed – to protect their families Whether what this fi lm suggests is and this is what the fi lm tries to ex- actually feasible is an entirely sepa- plore. Hawke is fantastic when he rate matter – would an annual 12- volved, but fully supporting the idea roams through the streets looking for ally isn’t all that great, they are left to brings out the demons, which is really hour period in which all crimes are of “h e Purge”. h eir children Zoey trouble. fi ght and fend for themselves; as until what the fi lm tries to explore – just to allowed really help decrease Ameri- (Kane) and Charlie (Burkholder) are a But having dumb, useless children 7am, there will be no help coming what lengths can a family man go to ca’s crime rate and solve unemploy- little too young, naïve and idealistic is certainly this family’s massive their way. Adding to this is another without betraying what he stands for? ment? During these hours even the to fully comprehend the need for this downfall. When their youngest Char- troublesome off spring of theirs: the Both James and Mary are clear in the emergency services do not respond, yearly event (and to be quite frank, lie sees a Bloody Stranger (Edwin daughter – and her boyfriend who start that they’re not a violent part of and it turns into a free-for-all Battle the audience won’t be fully sold on Hodge – this is his credited character snuck his way into the house for some “h e Purge”, and it’s interesting to see Royale/Hunger Games in which the this idea either) but it’s the world they name) crying out for help, the kind- mischievous action of his own. how dangerously close they get to the population is given the chance to get live in now, and they need to learn to hearted idiot lets the man in. Turns Despite the initially intriguing line they wish not to cross. all violence and hatred out of their deal with it. out he’s been running away from an premise of this annual ritual, the fi lm And it’s this theme the fi lm should system. So “h e Purge” starts bang on time insane gang of masked youths who doesn’t actually spend too much time have focused on more. But opting h e year is 2022, and “h e Purge” at 7pm with a loud horn signalling are exercising their Constitutional on having a closer look at the event out of portraying depth and instead has truly turned things around, with the beginning of all things criminal, right to purge. h is gang means busi- itself. As is the case with all stand- choosing to go down the easy route the United States becoming a nation and ends at 7am sharp, giving the ness, all of them wielding deadly ard home invasion movies, the lights of simple violence and loud crashes reborn thanks to this little cleansing public plenty of time to unleash the weapons, dressed to kill, aching for go off , there are many sharp corners, and thuds, what it eventually boils process. James (Hawke) and Mary monsters within. h ings seem to be some blood to be spilled. James’ fam- the bad guys are coming in from all down to is something familiar. It ends (Headey) don’t take part in this rit- going well for James’ family, with the ily has been thrown into this tur- directions, and the good guys are on an outrageous and somewhat hys- ual (as is their right), and tradition- patriarch feeling confi dent that their moil, and as these youngsters start at a tremendous disadvantage. h e terically bizarre twist, one that fur- ally hide out in their proudly fortifi ed state-of-the-art brand new security a siege and an eventual home inva- build-up isn’t so well handled, with ther confi rms the fi lm has very little mansion, choosing not to get in- systems will keep out anyone who sion, since their defence system re- very little and largely generic char- character consistency whatsoever.

The latest botox treatments aren’t what they used to be

Remember everyone, make sure not to get any blood on my brand new white tee

Clowns used to be funny FRIDAY 07 JUNE 19

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles ﬁ [email protected] FILM Sexism in the vampire world

I’m so tired of drinking The same meal every the same thing every day. I single day must get boring miss tea, oh, and cocktails

this. So she must settle for writing quences, just how everything came In contrast to her mother, Eleanor tell its dense story, there will be lim- Byzantium down her thoughts and feelings as about. is a quieter, more restrained presence ited appeal to young adults looking many diary entries, throwing them Director Neil Jordan takes his time on the screen, one that Ronan cap- for a quick action fi x. In fact there is Director: Neil Jordan away into the wind or the sea. For rea- to give us the full picture – he knows tures beautifully. She’s sheltered and very little in the way of fast, kinetic Screenwriter: Moira Bu ni sons unknown to her, Ella and Clara how much to tell when, and more im- naïve, qualities that make her bud- showdowns, but the fi lm more than Starring: Gemma Arterton, Saoirse are constantly on the run. Whilst portantly, he knows when to make the ding, awkward romance with Frank makes up for this in its unique way of Ronan, Sam Riley, Jonny Lee Miller providing the best for her daughter in cuts – leaving the narrative hanging. (Caleb Landry Jones – who looks so portraying its vampires. the only way she knows how, by pleas- He doesn’t give anything away too pale he could well be a vampire him- ing men, Clara is a loyal although at easily, and with this air of mystery self) all the more sweet and charm- times, fl awed protector, as with any and intrigue, this becomes a vampire ing. Over the years she too has found parent. fi lm that’s far more entertaining and her specifi c ways to cope with her Turns out the only reason these smarter than the norm. h e two par- need for feeding, one that involves a Film Editor John Park two are the most wanted vampires is allel plot-lines here serve to further more humane, sensitive approach. It’s because they’re female. h e vampire the two females’ nature. fascinating to navigate in their world, society puts a lot of importance on Arterton is absolutely spot-on as where vampires are incredibly similar In this day and age when vampires of the word “brotherhood” and allows Clara; and winding the clock back to humans and really not a lot sets fi ction are all-powerful, untouchable no women into their group. Since to the 19th Century, we see the long, them apart. creatures, it’s undeniably refreshing Clara and Eleanor were both created complicated and painful process she h ere are several under-developed to have a more human spin on the against the rules, they need to be had to endure to end up where she is characters as the fi lm is interested ever popular genre. Plus it’s an extra removed. h is explains Clara’s para- now – and even as an immortal she’s solely in Arterton and Ronan. Sam bonus point to not have to endure a noia, and the need to isolate them- failed to fi nd peace. Arterton is loud, Riley in particular deserves more cring inducing love subplot between selves wherever they go, whereas with forceful and assertive, and has no screen time given his signifi cance to an immortal and mortal – what we Eleanor, who is kept in the dark about problem tapping into the seductive the overall plot, and his participation get here is something entirely diff er- most of this, doesn’t understand. side of her role given some very sug- could have been enhanced for a more ent – a more patient, slow-burning For the past couple of centuries, El- gestive items of clothing she wears. exciting fi nale that disappointingly approach to telling a familiar but not eanor seems to have been a good, dis- But underneath all the confi dence ends on a bit of a fl at note. Jonny Lee at all predictable story of supernatu- ciplined girl. Now she’s fi nally getting and tough exterior, there’s an obvious Miller lends his talent to play the vile ral beings we can’t ever stop hearing the courage to stand up for herself inner layer of weakness and vulnera- antagonist, whereas Daniel Mays puts about no matter what. and rebel (and about time, too). She bility. With no allies she is on her own in an appearance to add a touch of Eleanor (Ronan) is sixteen forever. meets a boy, joins some college class- to look out for her family. Very little comedy to the otherwise overall seri- Was the answer 15 or She’s a vampire, and is not allowed to es, and soon the secrets start spilling kindness was shown to her all her life, ous tone. 14. I can’t remember discuss with anyone her little secret – themselves. And as she tells her story, so we understand her need for utmost Because of its overall glum tone as her mother Clara (Arterton) forbids we are shown, in many fl ashback se- control. well as its slow-burning approach to 20 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles FILM ﬁ [email protected] You’re gonna be populaire

Populaire a competitive sport. When the vari- ensemble. h e Artist’s Bérénice Bejo ous “races” get going, the regional, takes on the most prominent subplot, Director: Régis Roinsard national, and eventually the interna- as Louis’ childhood sweetheart who Screenwriters: Régis Roinsard, tional one, they are as tense as any may or may not have had something Daniel Presley, Romain Compingt race you can imagine. h e thunder- between them. World War II and Starring: Romain Duris, Déborah ing noise as the women furiously its aftermath is also an issue talked François, Bérénice Bejo, Shaun press down on their typewriters’ key- about here, something that further Benson boards, the surprisingly large crowd enriches the characters here. cheering and roaring their endless Although everything is very well support, the sliding of every type- dressed up to look grand, pretty and writer as they fi nish a line, and the perfect, the fi lm is not afraid to hint changing over of the bits of paper, it’s at various underlying sadness and John Park Film Editor on a much bigger scale than what’s challenges each character needs to originally anticipated. It’s clearly a overcome to make their relationship big deal in the Populaire universe, work. For her, there’s the quickly Back in the day, it was every woman’s and the audience has no diffi culty go- growing fame that surrounds her tal- dream to become a secretary; to as- ing along with the craze. ent, one that gradually steals her away sist and travel with powerful men, fi l- What fi nally happens between from having a normal life. Whereas ing away important papers, typing up line of bossy well-dressed know-it- begins their hardcore training for a the two leads is hardly an element for him, he has pressure from his documents, taking calls and receiv- alls applying for the exact same job. speed typing competition. She fi rst of surprise, nor is the overall re- family to be a better, more cut-throat ing messages etc. It was the best job h e boss is Louis Échard (Duris), needs to use all her ten fi ngers cor- sult of the competitions. François and successful businessman, as well any woman could ever dream of, and a charismatic insurance salesman, rectly, and then she’s given numerous and Duris have a natural charming as trouble opening up his feelings. it would appear this trend was also in who takes one look at Rose and deter- classic novels to type out word for chemistry, and their sugary-sweet Switching comfortably back and style in 1950s France. mines correctly that she’s an absolute word. dynamic is a part of what makes this forth between well-measured come- Rose Pamphyle (François) is a very disaster when it comes to being a sec- It boasts a wacky, farce-like prem- highly watchable. Duris, as likable dy as well as engaging human drama ordinary grocer’s daughter who longs retary. But then he sees her clicking ise, every bit as eccentric as the best and amusing as ever with his icy cold that nicely strike a balance, here is to work in the city instead of being away at a typewriter. h e incredible French comedies, and with its eff ec- exterior although actually warm and an easily enjoyable, highly reward- stuck in her cold and distant fa- speed at which she types, even when tive period mood, and light colour- frothy inside, provides the perfect ing feel-good movie experience that ther’s market for the rest of her life. she’s only using her index fi ngers, is ful touches here and there, the fi lm counterpart for François’ clumsy, deals with the most unexpected She travels to Normandy, fi lled with something Louis notices instantly, is incredibly successful in setting quirky and adorable village girl. h e “sport”. And for anyone who wants dreams all women of that era had, but and he decides he can do something this up as an entirely believable and process of developing their romance to argue that this isn’t a proper event, with very little experience to qualify with her amazing talent. And so af- convincing scenario. It’s incredibly cleverly touches on some more seri- watch and experience the sheer raw for the role, it’s obvious she is way out ter a brief misunderstanding where entertaining, and never before has ous issues using its supporting cast intensity involved with what goes of her league when she sees a long she assumes he wants sex out of her, speed typing been seriously seen as to make the most of the well-rounded into the world of speed-typing. Will this truly be “the last”? ways. Yes, Nell (Bell) is having diffi - zures, demonic voices, weird eye nipotent evil force. The Last Exorcism Part II culties running away from her trou- colouring/movements etc. Bell doesn’t seem to have any dif- bled past, in which she was forced h e fi rst instalment was an ex- fi culty slipping back into her break- Director: Ed Gass-Donnelly into a part of a creepy satanic cult cellent use of the handheld-camera out role, although everyone else Screenwriters: Damien Chazelle, Ed that ended with a botched exorcism technique, but with this follow-up, around her stands around rather Gass-Donnelly (aren’t they always?) followed by a the style is completely gone and awkwardly equipped only with their Starring: Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, twisted, demented birthing ceremo- lost, falling back to the old standard clunky dialogue to fend for them- Spencer Treat Clark ny in the middle of a huge bonfi re. way of fi lming without ever provid- selves. Bell’s purely innocent and Ending with a cliff hanger (always a ing something else for the audience completely clueless nature is always safe choice), we thought we would to enjoy. h e scares are all very ge- fun to watch as we sense that she’s Purging all of that useless never have to hear from them again, neric and a lot of them without much been marked for all sorts of bad knowledge after exams putting a sensible fi nish to a surpris- memorable impact. h ere are a few things even from the very start. As John Park Film Editor ingly good horror fi lm. eff ective moments, ones that really Nell completely falls apart thanks And yet trying to milk the fran- ought to have been present more to the demon, this gives Bell a real chise for as much cash as possible, consistently throughout. chance to show off her talent and she h e last Last Exorcism certainly was here’s the sequel, in which very little It’s unclear to see just where the shows that she really belongs in bet- not the “last” as it is followed by happens, and one that is frustrat- fi lm is headed and when it does end ter fi lms. this pretty disastrous sequel that is ingly toned down when it comes to up in its big fi nal showdown, (yes, Perhaps if another sequel is given somehow trying to bridge a gap for the shock factor. Having moved into yet another botched exorcism, what the go-ahead signal, it will allow the a potential third entry to turn the a home for lost/traumatised girls (all else?) you’re in for a big disappoint- franchise a chance to stir things up franchise into a trilogy – because of them automatically turning into a ment. As a complete unimaginative and go all-out for a truly shocking any mildly successful horror series long list of victims), Nell is settling rehash minus the stylistic push, it all fi nish. After all, this Part II ends on must at least have three. in working away diligently as a hotel feels tedious and repetitive, one you a cliff hanger with much potential, Once again we have the same girl chambermaid although it’s not long wouldn’t feel like enduring. It’s no one that could surely be developed who’s being pursued by a relentless until the usual frightening occur- fun when there’s a complete lack of further, venturing into more dar- demon that is determined to pos- rences start haunting her. You know, mystery as to what is happening – as ing territory that might certainly be sess an innocent, pure body so that the usual bumpy things, twisty body from the previous fi lm we’ve learned worth a look, unlike this dull, pedes- it can have its wicked, supernatural contortion movements, frothy sei- all there is to know about this om- trian piece of work.

22 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

Technology Editor: Jason Parmar Maximilian Eggl TECHNOLOGY [email protected] Updating Android without updating! A slew of new features for Android revealed at Google I/O 2013!

oogle I/O has tradition- lowing you to play games that sup- ally, for the past few years ports cloud saves, matchmaking, and at least, been an event leaderboards. Google also unveiled where Google unveils the the “Google Editions” of a couple of There is a Gnewest and shiniest ver- high-end phones on the market right The News Bubble sion of Android to the world. Although now that will run the stock Android open source, Android is developed in- experience without any manufacturer common General news from around the tech world, so you can keep up to date with the house with little known to the outside skins: the Samsung Galaxy S4 and the newest, weirdest and most futuristic things around. world save through the usual rumours HTC One. Google+, the fl edgling so- and leaks. It’s been no diff erent this cial network, also received a massive theme to the Mind guided Heli year. Prior to Google I/O, there has update with its Hangouts chat service Using a non-invasive cap, researchers from the University of Minnesota been signs of a new version of Android, replacing the aging Google Talk ser- have managed to harness the power of the mind. The participants of the ex- version 4.3 and widely believed to be a vice to compete with the likes of mes- new features: periment had to navigate a helicopter through an obstacle course only using new iteration of Jelly Bean showing up saging services like WhatsApp. A re- their thoughts. This success, among others, will aid in the goal to allow those in server logs. h e talk of the grapevine designed version of Google Maps was no update! that are paralysed to use machines that one day may help them to walk. was that this version would be unveiled during the I/O event. Project Haswell It wasn’t. Intel has now released a new generation of processors named Haswell. These, h ere was no mention of it in the key- according to the firm, are capable of a 15% better performance as well as 50% note, although there were cryptic refer- more active-use battery life than its predecessors. This is achieved by plac- ences to it by engineers making pres- updated from the Google Play store ing a voltage regulator directly into the chip. Also it will allow tablet/laptop entations. However, given what was without needing a new version of combinations to be much thinner,as it will not need as much cooling as the mentioned in the keynote itself, we Android. Google I/O continues this Ivy Bridge version. Intel will hope that the Haswell processors will allow it to may glean some information towards “eff ort by decoupling some of the break into the mobile market, where ARM has been dominating so far. Google’s intentions. applications from the An- Google unveiled a droid core. It is likely that Charger attack number of new services this will continue in the You can now hack an iPhone with a charger... great! This feat, achieved by it off ers for Android near future. a team from the Georgia Institute of Technology, means that iOS is more during the event. First Another reason could vulnerable than previously thought. Using a widely available BeagleBoard of all, it unveiled the be due to the increas- Computer, costing roughly £30, the charger easily installed a virus into the Google Play Music All ing consumerisation of gadget. While at this moment this method of stealing your data is not really Access service, which is the Google I/O event. a problem, if Apple do not patch this up, you should beware how you charge a Spotify-esque service h e event was originally your phone! that allows unlimited envisioned to be a plat- streaming of any music form for Google to reach Android, Windows 8, Morph!! in Google Play’s library for out” to developers. h e in- At this years Computex convention in Taipei, Taiwan, Acer has now unveiled a fi xed monthly fee. h is is built creasing prominence of Android in a laptop that runs both Android Jelly Bean as well as Windows 8. This is prob- on top of the already excellent Mu- recent years have caused consumer ably a move to tap into the phablet/laptop-tablet market, and thus boost the sic service which allows you to upload attention to increase for the event, ailing tech company’s fortunes. I however don’t really see the appeal in this. 20 000 songs to the cloud for stream- threatening to derail it from its de- I mean what is Jelly Bean going to do on your laptop that it can’t do on your ing anywhere. Google also launched veloper roots. h is could be an at- mobile phone? Unless Acer has somehow modified Android, not much. the Google Play Game Services, its tempt to shift the event back to its answer to Apple’s Game Centre by al- original focus, and perhaps create Windows 8 Start Button, OMGG! YAY! Also released at Computex the new update to Windows 8, 8.1 and for- merly known as Windows Blue, will once again reintroduce the iconic start button, whose omission was a big talking point when Windows 8 first came out. Now Microsoft has bowed to popular demand, and what we all loved is back. This move as well others seem to indicate the Redmond giant’s focus on the “desktop” environment, emphasising that it is similar to Windows 7, in a bid to encourage more people to upgrade to the new OS.

also in the works. another event just for consumers. If On A Personal Note h ere is a common theme to the that is the case, then we may yet see Once again some personal news. Recently, after being disillusioned by my lack Google Play new features: they run on existing another event to announce a new of purpose in life post-examination, I decided to Google myself, just for shits (well, newer ones at least) versions version of Android down the road. and giggles. Funnily enough I came upon a BlackBerry forum, that seemed of Android without needing an up- h e current rumours, which should to really erm enjoy my BlackBerry article (“CrackBerry or CrapBerry”). Once Music All Ac- date. Android updates has always be taken with a pinch of salt, points the forum members had dissected title and scoffing at the bad attempt at hu- been a sticking point in the Android to early June for this. mour, skipping over actually reading the article, they then decided to have a ecosystem, causing Fragmentation Of course, all of the above is sim- go at Felix as a whole. Eek. However some of these users seemed to somehow

cess; service (TM) and other nasties. By not an- ply speculation – Google may have seemed to miss that Felix was a student newspaper, instead assuming that it nouncing a new version of Android intended to show Android 4.3 at was some lonely individual who had a strange obsession with Imperial Col- that allows while revealing a slew of new An- the I/O event but it simply failed to lege London. If you wanna have a look at extreme FanBoism as well as tell tale droid features, it is likely that Google materialise due to some last minute symptons to avoid just head over to that forum! was attempting to show that they can problems. We may never know. It is, unlimited add new features to Android with- however, nice to see that Google can http://forums.crackberry.com/news-rumors-f40/yet-another-new-article-crackberry-crapberry-769412/ out updating the underlying version in fact update Android without up- of Android itself. We ﬁ rst saw these dating Android. streaming eﬀ orts when Google applications on Maximilian Eggl Tech editor “” Android such as Gmail began to be Yong Wen Chua FRIDAY 07 JUNE 23

Games Editor: Ross Webster [email protected] GAMES An otherworldly tutor Sanchit Sharma struggles with taming his titans, in a Reus review

ver wanted to build a bor- what types of projects the settlement the fact that resources that have been ing wasteland of a planet will try to undertake. In addition to newly built do not get used immedi- into a thriving world? Or this, each giant can place both objects ately. h ey must become ‘in use’, which control giants that can (minerals, plants, animals) onto the takes a little while. Projects always re- Einfl uence the planet on a surface and aspects onto objects. quire resources in use and so this non- large scale? “Dammit, ocean giant, I Where things start getting more immediate use can really be annoying said one space to the left!” Okay, com- complicated is the interaction be- in certain situations! mand giants; they’re a bit imprecise. tween these objects. Each object has Overall, this is a very enjoyable game, “Come back forest giant, I need you one or more synergies which activate attempting to unlock as many new over here!” h e silly things. Anyway, if a certain condition is met, which can synergies and objects as possible, and forget Black & White, four giants is lead to situations where simple objects occasionally just helping a settlement much more fun than one creature that produce more resources than more wipe out everyone else for the hell of doesn’t even have complete control advanced ones. Successfully taking ad- it! It can also be surprisingly fun to over the topography! vantage of these synergies is the key to simply watch the people in one of your Reus is a god/puzzle game in which unlocking the more diffi cult projects. settlements talk about stuff – inventing you must use your four giants (Swamp, h e overall goal of the game is to un- your own conversations for the sym- Forest, Mountain and Ocean) to infl u- lock all the achievements. It is played bols that come up in their speech bub- ence the ecosystem enough to create out in games ranging from half an hour bles. But don’t be surprised if it doesn’t human life on your surface – since to two hours long (you can, of course, last you a long time, unless you’re the you’re the planet, for some reason. By pause or save at any time) in which you kind of person that really gets into puz- helping the humans complete their try to develop humans in the right way zle games. Reus is available from their It looks like the planet has projects you may impress them enough to unlock the remaining achievements, own website or a number of other re- little cat-ears! Squeeeee! for them to send your giants ambas- thus allowing humans to try harder tailers including Steam and GOG for sadors, which will increase their pow- projects in later games. £6.99/$9.99. ers. However, you must be wary; if the h e game as a whole is a lot of fun in humans get too greedy they may wage the early stages, but can get tedious if war against each other, or even start at- you’ve played it a lot. Trying to get the Time, Dr. Freeman? Is it really that time again? tacking your giants! right combination of synergies to com- h e gameplay is quite simple. h e plete harder projects can be a real pain, Another year, another smorgasbord of games and games-related... stuff. There’s only two weeks left of giants each have a major power which as often the resources required are so Felix this year, and so I’ve two notes for you: will change the landscape (creating high that you must completely rede- whatever environment they are named sign everything within the settlement Firstly, send in all your stuff you still want the whole wide world to see! We want to know how you prefer after), and creating mountains and borders in order to ensure that they get to kill your Sims, or why you like to roleplay on LoL. oceans infl uences the terrain to either enough resources. side as well, infl uencing what type of h is is augmented not only by the Secondly, imma need a successor. There’s a hat, a ceremony and everything! Get your hustle on! settlement is formed and therefore cooldown on giant powers, but also by

Hey, I can see your house from here! everynation.co.uk

SUNDAYS ACTIVITY SPACE 1

Free café – 5:30 FRIDAY 07 JUNE 25

Coffee Break Boss: Matt Colvin [email protected] COFFEE BREAK

BSc/MSci Examination June 2012

This paper is also taken for the enigmatic and mysterious Examination for the Associateship ELECTROMAGNETISM, PROBABILITY & WELDING CONCEPTS ANSWER ALL PARTS OF SECTION D, THEN EXACTLY TWO THIRDS OF SECTION B FOLLOWED BY SEVEN EIGHTHS OF SECTION Y. THEN DO A HANDSTAND. Question 1 Question 3 Observe the gentleman in Figure I to In a recent interview with Vulture, Hol- the right. As you are well aware, I have lywood alien vanquisher and one-time stated on many occasions in lectures that Ethos user Will Smith (Figure III) pos- the historical fi gures behind the key ide- ited his theory on everything: as of this course are completely unex- aminable. Unfortunately for you, I lied. “At heart, I’m a physicist. I look at eve- In that spirit, answer the following: rything in my life as trying to fi nd the single equation, the theory of every- i) Who is this man? [1 mark] thing.” ii) How is he related to the key ideas i) What is the single equation - the of this course? [3 marks] theory of everything? [100 marks] iii) Following on from the previous [Hint: You may only score either zero parts, write an extensive essay on marks or full marks. I don’t expect a topic you have not revised exten- you to get far with this one. In fact sively. [70 marks] I expect you to stress a lot over this question, while I enjoy your torment Keep in mind that your answer to Part and anguish at the front of the exam- iii) is weighted in such a manner that it Figure I: A Victorian man, whose visage ination room. If you can answer this renders your answers to all other ques- you will most likely despise during and though, you’re guaranteed a fi rst. Figure III: Everybody’s favourite box of- tions completely meaningless. hopefully beyond this examination. Good luck!] fi ce champion Will Smith.

Question 2 Question 4 DINOSAUR BOX The Minister of State for Faith and Com- As always, we as a department are look- munities Baroness Warsi has challenged ing for ways to make your examination you to a high stakes game of Noughts period easier to bear. One of our new and Crosses. Being a free spirited indi- alterations to the syllabus is therefore vidual, you allow her the privilege of focused on arbitrarily harnessing your playing ﬁ rst. She plays as crosses. The own artistic (rather than scientiﬁ c) crea- game is currently in the stage as dem- tivity: onstrated in Figure II. You are playing to win, but you can’t help but shake the i) Draw a dinosaur of your own feeling that Baroness Warsi might throw choosing in the designated empty the game away at any moment. box to the right [0 marks] i) Can you win the game? [0.5 marks] [Hint: There are no marks for this question, but we hope you will at- ii) What topics of conversation would tempt it anyway, even if you are run- you consider bringing up during such ning out of time. If not, the examiners a game? Remember that the game may have to express their disap- is high stakes. [0.01 marks] YOU WARSI pointment in the obligatory examiners’ reports. We are sure that the iii) How would you adjust your strat- examiners would vaguely appreciate egy if the game was Snakes & Lad- sketches of dinosaurs to improve the ders instead? Justify your answer. Figure II: A poorly played game of experience of marking hundreds of [0.27 marks] Noughts and Crosses. scripts.] 26 FRIDAY 07 JUNE

HANGMAN [email protected]

THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

EQUIPMENT UPDATE LIBRARY SECURITY TRAINING NEEDED FOR UK ARMY DEEMED HEAVYHANDED

HOROSCOPES CANCER TAURUS GEMINI VIRGO ARIES LEO

This week you have consti- This week Jupiter is aligning Nothing makes you feel bet- This week you decide to grow This week Saturn’s view of This week you fi nd out that pation. You got it bad. It re- with your face. This means it will ter than a bit of minge. But a revision beard to show every- the Moon is eclipsed by Jupi- “birthday suit” is not actually hurts. When you fi nally be hideous and you shouldn’t this week, you’ll be getting one how amazing and rugged ter. This of course means that ally a form of fancy dress. do get rid of a log monster leave the house for, hmmm, none. None at all. You will, on you are. It goes surprisingly goblins are free to roam about. 12 hours later and you are you decide to wrap it into a say 400-500 days. Sorry. Oh the other hand, be getting a well. You get a lot of attention They congregate at Imperial, released from the police sta- condom and pop it back in. well, at least there’s TV and deduction of 40% from your and looks while in the library. where they will best blend into tion with nothing more than Five hours in A&E later, and stuff to watch on your laptop. dissertation for giving it in Should probably mention that the crowd. Nobody notices a caution, and an embar- you’re defi nitely going to be Your wifi is broken, and nobody 0.000002 seconds late. You you’re a girl by the way. Okay, anything out of the ordinary as rassingly small sock to cover in a medical textbook. Unfor- can come close enough to fi x it try to charm your way out of it if you’re reading this then you everyone’s too stressed. They your blushes. The sock gets tunately it’s on the front cover. as you’re infectious. Sigh. Mas- with your eyes and smile. You could not be, but the stars are all get 90% on exams and blown away by the wind and You’re famous. turbation it is then. get deducted 10% more. not always right. Pint? make the scaling unfavourable. you’re re-arrested. CAPRICORN SAGITTARIUS AQUARIUS SCORPIO PISCES LIBRA

This week you fall madly in love This week you are a bee. This week you take your Red Two chemists walk into a bar. This week you have a 90s This week you need to de- with a handsome lecturer. The Floating about and trying to Bull and Relentless addiction The fi rst says “Hello, I’ll have and 2000s revival night. cide between having to poo way they integrate makes you fi nd someone to sting you get up a notch. You synthesise some H2O please”. The sec- Shaggy and Peter Andre are out your eyes or wee out hot. When they solve differen- lonely. You want some loving, all of the active ingredients in ond says, “Oh, that sounds blazing through the walls of of your ear. You could dis- tial equations you go weak at but fi nd it odd to do the buzz- their purist form and then in- good, I’ll have some H2O as your room. You listen to the guise the urine as smelly the knees. There’s one simple ing nasty with the queen bee. ject them straight into you. It well.” Realising that his plan lyrics. Realising that all the discharge, which is margin- equation he can’t solve: him Mainly because she is your doesn’t save you from failing to kill the second chemist has songs you listened to as a ally better. However, the poo and you, getting in on, on his mum, but also because liter- your exams, but you do get failed, the fi rst chemist pulls child were extremely dirty, would mean you feel like that desk. Whenever he tries it he ally thousands of your broth- commended on your initia- out a gun and shoots him you fi nally have the answer prick from X Men. Just a liter- gets 7.23, which is also on the ers have been there too. You tive. That will almost defi nite- screaming “H2O2. YOU HAD to the question: “Why are you ally shitter version. So, what’s mark scheme. die alone. Not buzzin. ly help when you get a third. TO MAKE IT HARD”. such a disgusting pervert?”. it going to be? FRIDAY 07 JUNE 27 Puzzles Commanders: Sotirios Karamitsos Louisa Byrne PUZZLES [email protected]

Crossword With thanks to Paulo Giaccone FUCWIT League Table Quick clues 5. Part of an atom (7) 6. Very hard to say correctly (15) Across 7. Store of ﬁ les (7) INDIVIDUALS 1. Polysaccharide found in potatoes, 8. Tempt (6) Yufan Zhao 26 etc (6) 9. Put garments on (someone) (6) Wael Aljeshi 22 4. Coat with non-conducting mate- 15. Ironic, mocking (8) Gabriel Quek 3 rial (8) 17. Weirdo (7) Tan Wei Jie 1 10. Ideal (7) 18. Ornamental ruffle (7) 11. Person who imitates another (7) 19. Shrewd (6) 12. Cancer, for example (4, 2, 3, 6) 20. Child’s vehicle (7) Go for it. You know you want to. 13. Handcuff (7) 21. Damage (6) [email protected]. 14. Small spade (6) 16. Sign out of (computer) (3, 3) 19. Memory loss (7) 22. Moderate in one’s views (6-2-3-4) Cryptic clues 23. Desert, strand (7) Last week’s solutions 24. From an autonomous region of Across

China (7) 1. Make stiff map of heavens with no

25. Took over from (another person) pictures (6)

(8) 4. Seal unit somehow to stop current

26. Uni nightclub (6) getting out (8)

10. It’s best Timothy is taken in by

Down gem (7)

1. “Goodfellas” director (8) 11. Catch unknown animal mimic (7)

2. Caribbean island (7) 12. One in ordered dozen - Goat?

3. Information that’s widely known Fish? - constellation, initially (4, 2,

(6, 9) 3, 6)

13. Bind hairs on back of neck back to 3. Turn up short brother currently on front (7) shelf - we’re all aware of it (6, 9) ! 14. Bit of snow derelict digs with 5. Heart stirred uncle (Uncle Sam) (7) # Double Trouble this, perhaps (6) 6. French article and telegram cover- A couple of quick riddles: 16. Round of crazy golf to come out ing Spain about part of speech that’s of computer (3, 3) impossible to read (15) A) You can see three faces of each of two standard six-sided dice. You can count "

19. Am I sane/mad? This makes me 7. Supporting structure I have put on 27 pips in total. How many pips can you count on each die? forget (7) record (7) 22. Music category where you’d ﬁ nd 8. Lure seen among authentic equip- B) A newly-erected building has 16 apartments. The tenants want to number

The White Stripes, maybe (6, 2, 3, 4) ment (6) them, and so they contract Fancy Golden Lettering Ltd. They are informed that 23. Leave what 26 might have on a 9. Dress thrombus with helium (6) digit X costs £X (so 0 is on the house). How much will they have to pay? gig night (7) 15. Derisory reform on cards catches # 24. Going round neat bit of Asian one (8) region (7) 17. Not even DJ Zoe is a freak (7) 25. Went through it again over drug - 18. Emphatic movement of uncle glad it’s over (8) arranged (7) 26. Club at Imperial (or not Imperial) 19. Perceptive, as you French note (6) Slitherlink Ophis (6) 20. Bike bird into south east (rook) (7) Normal Slitherlink is ﬁ nally back, but don’t think you’ve You know who else is back? That’s right, David Bowie. Also Down 21. One male couple weaken (6) gotten rid of Special Slitherlink that easily. It might make a Ophis. Fill the cells with a continuous line that does not pass 1. See cross, deranged director (8) return bigger than ever. The rules: draw a single closed loop through a cell twice, doesn’t intersect with itself, and passes 2. Island insect keen, by the sound by vertically and horizontally joining the dots so that the through all white boxes. The numbers show you how many of it (7) numbered squares are surrounded by the corresponding times the line turns in the corresponding row or column. The number of lines. snake enters and exits the grid at the shown points (and only those points). There are some hints to get you started. 3 3 3 2 2 3 2 2 8 5 6 4 664 6 Hashi 1 4 4 2 1 2 1 4 5 4 2 2 3 1 2 3 4 Slightly bigger this week, because you guys 2 5 4 2 1 3 2 3 4 have almost achieved 100% completion on 2 5 5 74 3 2 2 4 the 11x11. Connect all 1 1 the islands with verti- 1 2 2 2 2 1 cal and horizontal non- 3 4 4 2 intesecting bridges so 2 474 2 1 3 3 3 6 that it is possible to get from any island to any 2 6 5 1 1 2 1 8 other one. There can be up to two bridges be- 2 433 3 0 2 331 tween any two islands. 6 2 3 22 Each island indicates 2 1 the number of bridges 1 2 8 1 4 1 starting from it. 2 1 2 2 22 6 07/06/13 Issue 1550 felixonline.co.uk @SportFelix

SPORT “Keep the Cat Free” SUN, SEA, SAND: FELLWANDERERS HIKE PEMBROKESHIRE

Must be up north; blue skies, beach and still they have coats on! All pictures courtesy of Terrence Lai.

Jessi Wunder Sports writer the fi rst thing we did after fi nishing totally diff erent weather. h e wind our tour, was going to the supermar- was blowing so strong, that we feared ket to buy sun cream. We also bought we would be blown away with the Friday, 24th of May: a rainy day in food for the next days and had a great whole tent! Hence the fi rst challenge London, what else would you expect? barbecue that evening at our camp- of the day was getting the tent down But 12 brave, hiking loving students site (Trefalen Farm, by Broad Haven and not being blown away. And to were ready to leave for Pembro- beach). make it even worse, it was starting to keshire, Wales on a Fellwanderers We were woken up by the sun- rain as well… but we completed our weekend trip. Since it was a bank shine on Sunday morning. It was so challenge. holiday weekend, it took us quite hot in the tent that no one wanted to After a little discussion, about a while to get to Wales. But by the be inside anymore. After breakfast what we could do for a walk, we de- Look a horse! time we arrived, it stopped raining we started a beach sightseeing tour cided to make a short walk, about an and although some were still scepti- from Manorbier castle, along the hour, along the cliff s from the Green cal about the weather, we trusted in coast. We were walking from beach Bridge of Wales (a large rock archway the weather forecast for the weekend to beach, sunbathing and the tough- extending out into the stormy sea) to that it would be sunny and set up our est going swimming in each one. St Govan’s chapel. h is was enough tents. While playing Frisbee and throwing to make everyone soaking wet! We Saturday we drove to St David’s the Nerf around, nobody cared about had our lunch in the chapel which is (Britain’s smallest city) and started the freezing cold water. At the last built into the side of the cliff s. After our tour along the cliff s to the fi shing beach we split up. Some relaxed at changing into dry clothes, we went village of Solva and Newgale Sands the beach; others went back to the to the minibus and set off to fi nd a beach. We had a relaxed walk with camp site and the rest took a walk coff ee shop to warm us up. h is was a few stops to admire the beautiful near a lily pond. h ere were so many the second challenge of the day. Af- cliff s and the landscape. For lunch we lilies but it was too early for them ter looking for a café in a castle and enjoyed fi sh and chips and ice-cream, to bloom, so we only saw the leaves. fi nding out that there wasn’t one, we the favourite food over the weekend. In the evening we rejoined to have drove by a nice modern coff ee shop, h e weather did not disappoint us, another barbecue and to watch the stopped and had some nice teas, I don’t see any wandering in this the Sun was shining and at the end moon rise as night drew in. scones and hot chocolate. And then picture, in fells or otherwise. almost everybody got sunburnt and Monday morning we woke up to it was time to get back to London….