Sex Bible for Women Is the Owner’S Manual for Your Sexual Body and for Claiming Your Erotic Pleasure
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THESEXBI ACHIEVE THE Sex YOU DESIRE BASED ON CUTTING-EDGE SEX RESEARCH, The Sex Bible for Women is the owner’s manual for your sexual body and for claiming your erotic pleasure. You’ll learn the new science of desire and mind-blowing new techniques that will make sex hotter for you—and him—over a lifetime. SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT begins with sexual confidence. Sex expert Susan Crain Bakos takes you on a titillating tour of the best techniques from masturbation to oral sex and intercourse you should have in your repertoire to be sexually savvy and satisfied. With in-depth treatment of every topic, and stories and quotes from women at each stage of life and phase of sexual empowerment, The Sex Bible for Women is your guide for having the best sex of your life at any time of your life. B l Achieve amazing orgasms more often l Learn advanced positions LE l Get hot quickly using mutual masturbation games or other touch techniques l Discover the newest vibes and toys built to drive you wild T HE SE X BIBLE l © Quiver. All rights reserved. Use incredible techniques to send your man over the erotic edge for Women SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS is the author of twelve books, including The Sex Bible: The Complete Guide to Sexual Love, The Orgasm Loop, and The Orgasm Bible. She has been for Women writing about sex for more than two decades, with her work appearing in such magazines as Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and Penthouse. She lives in New York City. ALSO AVAILABLE The Orgasm Loop The Orgasm Bible ISBN: 978-1-59233-333-2 ISBN: 978-1-59233-281-6 BAKO THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO BEING A GREAT LOVER, ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-412-4 Sexuality ISBN-10: 1-59233-412-1 S AND GETTING THE ORGASMS YOU WANT $19.99 US $24.99 CAN EAN UPC SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS www.quiverbooks.com AUTHOR OF THE SEX BIBLE PB Cover_C53219.indd 1 09-14519 Job No:02-01818 Title:FW-Sex Bible For Women9/17/09 PB Edn 1:13:03 PM P 806 C (Ray) AC53219 #175 DTP:126 Page:PB Cover © Quiver. All rights reserved. 001_017_AC45459.qxd 4/1/08 2:42 PM Page 1 T HE SE X BIBLE © Quiver. All forrights Women reserved. 001_003_14519.indd 1 (Ray) 09-14519 Job No:02-01818Title:FW-SexJob:02-01818 Title: Bible The Sex For Bible 9/8/09Women For Women 12:39:22 PB Edn PM (Ray)PB Edn 03-AC45459(59) #175#175 DTP59(P) DTP:126 Page:1 Page:01 001_017_AC45120.qxd 3/16/08 8:35 AM Page 2 Text © 2008 Susan Crain Bakos Photography © 2008 Quiver This paperback edition published in 2010 First published in the USA in 2008 by Quiver, a member of Quayside Publishing Group 100 Cummings Center Suite 406-L Beverly, MA 01915-6101 www.quiverbooks.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required by 18 USC 2257. Records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc., 100 Cummings Center, Suite 406-L, Beverly, MA 01915-6101. T HE SE X BIBLE © Quiver.14 13 12 11 10 1 2 3 4 5 All rights reserved. ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-412-4 ISBN-10: 1-59233-412-1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Bakos, Susan Crain. The sex bible for women : the complete guide to understanding your body, being a great lover, and getting the pleasure you want / Susan Crain Bakos. p. cm. THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO BEING A GREAT LOVER, ISBN 1-59233-334-6 1. Sex instruction for women. 2. Women--Sexual behavior. I. Title. AND GETTING THE ORGASMS YOU WANT HQ46.B217 2008 613.9’6082--dc22 2007052143 SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS Book Design: Liz Trovato AUTHOR OF THE SEX BIBLE Book Production: Doublemranch.com Photography: Jacques Seurat, except where noted Photography: Harry Hara, pgs. 15, 16, 26, 31, 33, 35, 39, 55, 56, 83, 86, 90, 92, 101, 116, 118, 129, 138, 162, 179, 180, 194, 208, 217, 219, 221, 227, 228, 230, 234, 239, 244, 246 Printed and bound in Singapore 001_003_14519.indd 2 (Ray) 09-14519 Job No:02-01818Title:FW-SexJob:02-01818 Title: Bible The Sex For Bible 9/8/09Women For Women 12:39:22 PB Edn PM (Ray)PB Edn 03-AC45120 #175#175 DTP59(P) DTP:126 Page:2 Page:02 001_017_01818.qxd 2/27/08 9:04 AM Page 3 T HE SE X BIBLE © Quiver. Allfor rights Women reserved. THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO BEING A GREAT LOVER, AND GETTING THE ORGASMS YOU WANT SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS AUTHOR OF THE SEX BIBLE 09-14519 Job No:02-01818Title:FW-Sex Bible For Women PBn Edn 001_003_14519.indd 3 (Ray) 09-14519 Job No:02-01818Title:FW-SexJob:02-01818 Title: Bible The Sex For Bible 9/8/09Women For Women 12:39:22 PB Edn PM #175 DTP:126 Page:022 (Ray) PB Edn #175#175 DTP59(P) DTP:126 Page:3 Page:03 © Quiver. All rights reserved. THIS BOOK is for Marcella and Iva— not for now, but for someday when they are grown. May they be empowered in every area of their lives, including their sexuality. © Quiver. All rights reserved. CONTENTS INTRODUCTION: The Sexually Empowered Woman 11 Who Is a Sexually Empowered Woman? 17 © Quiver.1 THE SEXUAL All RESPONSE rights19 reserved. 1: Your Sexual Desire and Arousal 21 2: Explaining the New Science of Desire 29 3: The Real Story on Arousal 43 4: Orgasm Explained 49 5: How His Orgasm Is Different from Yours 61 6: The Orgasm Loop 67 2 THE SEXUAL BODY 73 7: Do You Know Your Body as Well as You Know His? 75 8: The Love-Hate Body Relationship 87 9: Your Sexual Body Over a Lifetime 99 10: The Pathologizing of Female Sexuality 113 3 SEXUAL BEHAVIORS 119 11: Foreplay 123 12: Oral Sex 131 13: Intercourse 141 14: Anal Intercourse 165 15: Sexual Variations: The Sex Acts 169 © Quiver.16: Sexual Variations: AllThe Partners rights 183 reserved. 4 THE SEXUAL PASSAGES 189 17: The Early Passages 191 18: The Commitment Passages 197 19: The Middle and Late Passages 205 5 RESOURCES 211 20: Ways to Improve Your Sex Life 213 21: Sex Toys 223 CONCLUSION: Sex Is A Private Thing 233 Acknowledgments 243 About the Author 245 Index 249 © Quiver. All rights reserved. © Quiver. All rights reserved. © Quiver. All rights reserved. Introduction THE SEXUALLY EMPOWERED WOMAN A © Quiver.sexually empowered woman hasAll good sex at rightsmonogamy as the cultural ideal—the reserved. mythologizing and every stage of her life, from early adulthood through romanticizing of that idealized, committed couple who old age, because she claims her own pleasure. Our live happily into old age together. Not to mention the load bodies change throughout the life cycle, and our sexual of expectations we place on our primary sexual relation- responses evolve. But a sexually empowered woman owns ships and the ageism that makes so many women over each evolution and finds the greatest pleasure in it. She forty or fifty feel no longer desirable. knows what she needs and desires, gets her needs met, Sexually empowered women of all ages move beyond and has orgasms reliably and often. these obstacles to call their own shots. They know Obstacles in the path to female sexual empowerment they have options in choosing sex partners and sexual are numerous. From the time we were little girls, we were lifestyles, and even in how a lifelong monogamous rela- inundated with all sorts of negative sex messages from our tionship plays out sexually. mothers, our grandmothers, religious leaders, and others. How can you do that—and keep doing it for the rest Then there’s the general failure to understand the true of your life? It takes attitude, knowledge about your body nature of female desire and arousal, coupled with the and its sexual responses, and good sexual technique physical differences between men and women, that make (which begins with giving yourself orgasms). Sexual orgasm during intercourse nearly inevitable for him but empowerment also calls for the wisdom and courage to not for her. Women’s desire and arousal have been com- seize erotic opportunities, whether it’s ten minutes in the pared to and measured against men’s, but they work shower with your husband, a fling with a gal pal, or an differently. There is also a relentless focus on sexual opportunity with a new and younger man at age fifty. 11 Discard Old Attitudes • Women can make men love them (and commit to them) if they play by The Rules or become sexual There are several old attitudes and beliefs that can limit technique virtuosos or follow the current man- your sex life: manipulation plan being promoted in the latest • Masturbation might not be sinful or wrong, but it best-selling book. In other words, use and/or with- is not necessary for women who have a partner. hold sex to bring him to his knees! In addition to this misconception, women also believe • You’re either gay or straight, nothing in-between. a fallacy that they might become so addicted to self- If you play with a girlfriend, you can’t be a real pleasuring, especially with a vibrator, that they won’t woman with a man. enjoy sex with their man.