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Impractical Cartography Volume 1 Copyright © 2013 Impractical Cartography All rights reserved. Contributing authors reserve all rights to their respective works. Editors: Kristine Conroy and Michael Torsell Book design: Joel Brenden Second printing: 75 books. Printed by Avalon Document Services (Buffalo, NY). Bound by Quality Bindery Inc. (Buffalo, NY). Covers printed at The Western New York Book Arts Collaborative (Buffalo, NY). Letterpress plates prepared by Boxcar Press (Syracuse, NY). IMPRACTICAL CARTOGRAPHY BUFFALO, NY up the next morning) But Buff allo er- made me feel like able “Ah what the heck.” rust Th anks for that Bu- belt fallo. THANKS. mindset? My body aches. My head Or am I just hurts. But my heart is an asshole? It fi lled. And Gooey. doesn’t really And Smiling. matter much. Maybe that’s because the I love it here, drinks where cheap. I really do. 2 Red Stripes. One Still, every What my pre- change in place with its Yuengling. A shot of Jack. year I hope vious writing failed to capture, is just that, would help her fi nd success in a little rat And a Seagram’s Manhattan. that, one way my failure to capture my own capturing. career she loved. What she found is hand. $17. NEEEEDDD I SAY or another, I Each time, each piece of writing, those trees became that even expectation is a place- the Boop.” MoRE!! Th ank you Mul- will not have a focal point of the work. It speaks to this other city space of wanting something to be a ligans!! Other small to see another certain way and needing to believe “Shit, winter. that I live in, alone. I almost things: Kim was my it will be. bartender at Mulligans. Kim “No. You must get out of the sandbox.” stepped When asked Another friend just moved back home right on top of was awesome. I wanted a to map Buf- I stared at him blankly. It wasn’t his thick French ac- manhattan. She didn’t have cent that was confusing. I just wasn’t expecting this as after years living and building a life in one once be- falo, I have to Th ey came to rely on grass- a diff erent city. Her letter speaks to cause I figured sweet vermouth or a glass. say-- where do a response to asking him if he would write me a letter (she had the little side bar). roots organizing to achieve of recommendation. “What?” place in a diff erent manner, in how it would dart out of the I start? community-centric goals. we manage to curate and upkeep way! Th at was the time I dropped When I came up later to pay Maybe I talk about “Why won’t you apply anywhere else? Don’t tell me my tab she excited told me how she Th ey made a point of it’s for a boy.” “No, um, no boy. I just, I dunno, I like a whole map of places in our lives the tray with three steak sandwiches on it my high school without feeling scattered. Yet there’s a and he threw one of the skillets across the kitchen had found me a glass! And found me experiences of skip- knowing and relying on their neigh- it here, I have a job… an apartment… I dunno.” some sweet vermouth. And that I bors. balance we crave between the diff erent and then threatened to take it out of ‘my pay.’ He got even ping classes to go “I will write you the letter.” “oh, okay, thank—“ opportunities our diverse maps of place madder when I laughed at that—I mean, come on, you’re going could have a manhattan. Or I could to Spot Coff ee and close out if I wanted too. I had to Th e result: Buff alo greets the 21st century with community solidarity, a can-do attitude, “If you apply somewhere else in addition to our department. Look at Binghamton’s pro- create and the need to feel grounded, to to take it out of the $800 you owe me? Go for it, I’ll take the $770 New World Record a reasonable cost-of-living, and a strong sense of place. have a claim to just one place. My friend you’ll never come up with.” say yes! I MEAN SHE FOUND on Elmwood Av- gram, Stoneybrook… but Buff alo. Yes. Look at Buff alo.” “Buff alo?” ME A GLASS AND SWEET calls it simplicity, while I call it having enue? Now, it’s not all rainbow-farting unicorns. Th e metro area is still in search of a new post- Don’t they have cables running between all the buildings on campus so you can pull a real mailbox: Her boyfriend, despite having just learned too much about the hush VERMOUTH!!! ( I also had a lovely Do I tell people about manufacturing economy. Th eir medical corridor holds promise, as do the energy and arts puppies, was always pretty patient as her and I revisited, yet again, all the bartendress before Kim too!! I forgot yourself to class through the blizzards? I didn’t ask. I think I probably agreed meekly and how I moved to Califor- sectors, but none have emerged as the winning ticket just yet. left his offi ce. I had not expected anyone to tell me that day that I should walk away As I will say again over and over, it is so madness that was those overnight shifts. I’m sure we’ll bring up that one her name. I’m sorry I am normally nia with the intention of strange for my whole life to be in one Th ough it’s been brought up a few times, we’ve never been dude who would always come in asking if we wanted to see his “dick tat- really good with names. BUT YOU Th at said, the city has a lot going for it, not the least of which is its depth of com- from everything I knew and had built here so far for the city of Buff alo. It is a city, right? never coming back, only munity. And that’s precisely what had me checking real estate listings by the end of the place. It’s the fi rst time in 9 years that all my stuff clear on how it actually happened. Th e way I recall is that it too” which was a tattoo on his leg of a penis or his “dick piercing” which WERE LOVELY!) At Kristine’s to come back at the age After doing some research that mostly consisted of one wikipedia page, I could not sub- is at home and that I am not split between locations. So I think I am just basking all began when sp@ce 224 owner Jose Ro- driguez started lining assumably was an unsolicited off er to see his genitalia. Or the various the second time. I had a lovely little week. Something deep in my unconscious suddenly realized it was tired of transience, of 21 because I realized I of living in a place with a shifting, nondescript point of view. And it got really, really stantiate my snow cable rumor but I did have some new bits of information about this in simplicity. Th ough even I have to admit being restless comes easily. chairs up in rows facing the largest of the two gallery windows. ways we would respond to the incredibly personal and invasive questions chat with a gentleman (24 years old wanted something real? suggested new home. President McKinley was shot there. Rick James was buried there. hole. that were always a staple of trying to cash someone out to just get rid I think- if you live in Buff alo maybe excited about the idea of supporting local artists. Of joining a block club. Of knowing Th e last letter made me ache for all its familiar language of feeling lost and Th e night was a warmish one towards the end of August or the Maybe I talk about my expe- my mailman’s name. Th at asshole that did the Cross-Bronx Expressway destroyed a neighborhood or some- Re- of them. Or the times the boss would somehow make a half bottle of you know him- if you are curious ask Kris- riences of playing & watch- thing there. High crime rate, one of the highest poverty rates, good art scene… whatever. somehow completely at home in a foreign place. In the year I spent traveling beginning of September of 2011. Jose, Hunger Anthem Tullamore Dew disappear and try to impress young girls by loading their tine- maybe I should give you more info through South America before moving to Buff alo I discovered there’s a certain mem- frontman Brendan Vaganek, and myself were putting back a ing local shows in attics, In my opinion, Buff alo shows us how we can reinstate the social systems that hold us I’ll get through the application and he’ll write me that letter. ber hotdogs up with a bunch of shit they didn’t want, girls that were already on him) But he makes his living- designing crazy rave parties in Larkin together and meld them with the march of progress. When Buff alonians look at their ache associated with place and trying to fi nd it in a diff erent culture. Th ere are few in the darkened and vacant artspace. As shit-shooting prone to complaining and leaving only the exact amount on their hand- cases… 1:48pm I began this process of appeasement, no problem.