December 8 | 2020 27 ways to avoid gaining Plus Great weight over Christmas gifts for men 2 1GT Tuesday December 8 2020 | the times times2 I always thought that I climbed the Keir Starmer was fit, but not in a sexy lawyer way Shard, went Robert Crampton STEFAN ROUSSEAU/PA to prison, elen Fielding, having naughtily strung everyone along, has Helena’s confirmed that Keir Starmer was not the sofa leaves role model for Mark and now this Darcy in her Bridget me cold Jones books, as played by Colin Firth in the films. Like Fearful of sounding Last Christmas George King was in HFirth in the films, Starmer might be pervy, I try not to sexy in a buttoned-up lawyerly way, write about Helena Fielding says, but she didn’t base her Christensen more than Pentonville, jailed for scaling the UK’s heroine’s love interest on him for the a couple of times a good reason that she has never met year. She’s not easy to tallest building. So why is he still the guy. So that’s that. ignore, however, the Or rather, that will be that once great Dane. At 50 she climbing, asks Candida Crewe I’ve stuck my oar in. Thing is, I know was gadding about in Starmer slightly, having played football a bustier. Now, at 51, with him for a while 25 years ago, she’s ditched even the n Saturday In October last year he was when he was plain mister, not Sir Keir. underwear and been morning, when a lot sentenced to six months in Pentonville I didn’t find him sexy in a buttoned-up photographed naked on of us were doing a for the Shard incident and served lawyerly or any other way, but I can a sofa. Naturally, she spot of Christmas three. Incredibly, he says he didn’t confirm he was extraordinarily fit. In looks fabulous. shopping, George mind his sojourn in prison. Released in the old-fashioned sense of that word. I dunno, though, King, who is in January, he has nonetheless been And no, I never saw him undressed maybe it’s the weather Barcelona, nipped enjoying his freedom ever since. He because it was evening six-a-side on a (it barely bothered to up the Torre lives with his parents near Oxford, but council pitch and that set-up rarely get light at all in Glories building. It took about 20 for the past two months, to avoid the runs to on-site hygiene. Besides, what London yesterday), Ominutes to get to the top. He admired second lockdown, the extreme athlete goes on in the shower, stays in the maybe it’s the virus, the view for a while like any old tourist has been sky-diving in Portugal. shower. Same as the loo: I once had a for ugly people” is spot on. Ever since maybe it’s age, but my and was back down in no time. I spoke to King after the Spanish wee next to George Clooney and I’ve the gorgeous pouting John Bercow passions were not as No biggie, you might think except, police, who were awaiting him on never blabbed about how far back left the Speaker’s chair, the house inflamed as once they unlike any old tourist, he went up and Saturday morning at the bottom of the from the urinal he needed to stand. has looked bereft of talent (in the might have been. down the outside. The skyscraper is Torre Glories — along with a crowd The younger Keir was a combative, new-fashioned sense of the word). My first thought on shaped not unlike the Gherkin in who had got wind of his ascent — had hard-running, box-to-box midfielder, In fact, the election a year ago was seeing the latest Helena London and is 144 metres tall. King, released him. The officers had taken not wildly skilful, but as efficient and a grey day for parliamentary crumpet- pose was: I’m not sure I who is 21, scaled it like Spider-Man, him briefly to a police station and he methodical a player as he is now a watchers, with heavyweight Adonises like her sofa, arms too with no ropes, just as in July 2019 he left not long afterwards; he expects a politician. I was a goal-hanging striker, such as Nick Soames, Vince Cable high in relation to the spirited himself up the side of the fine, but doesn’t know when he will get deadly with either foot from four yards and Ken Clarke binning it off. At seat, doesn’t look at all Shard and caused something of a it. Occupational hazard. out, so our paths didn’t cross often on the less shapely end of the spectrum, cosy, must be a Scandi media sensation in the process. When he was sent to prison for the the pitch. Mostly, I remember he had, Rory Stewart, Stephen Twigg and triumph of design-over- There were those who, reasonably Shard climb, he wasn’t arrested on the in the parlance, a great engine. He Philip Hammond disappointed their comfort thing. enough, were angry that his climb day because it was felt he hadn’t could run all day, Keir. And did, in fact. legions of lustful fans by stepping And my second potentially put pressure on the broken any actual laws. The policeman Most of us, even in our early thirties, down too. Even the rise of — sort thought was: that emergency services and, even more so, who met him at the top did not were only good for one or two sessions of, a bit, relatively speaking — dishy reminds me, we’re put other people’s lives at risk, quite handcuff him, but shook his hand a week. Keir was rumoured to play Rishi can’t compensate for a huge overdue to move our apart from his own. What if he had instead. It later transpired that he had four times or more. aggregated loss of such raw sofa at home from fallen from the Shard and injured or breached a High Court injunction on Energy is always underrated when sex-goddery on that scale. its usual position at a killed a pedestrian in the process? the building. While the trespassing explaining the progress (and perhaps Maybe the future of halfway decent right angle to the fire to King insists that he very specifically was deemed to be a civil as opposed to also the sex appeal) of successful elected eye candy lies away from its winter position planned for this tragic scenario and criminal offence, he was jailed for people. Lesser mortals think that high Westminster. Marvin Rees, the mayor opposite the fire. ensured that his choice of vertical contempt of court. He hasn’t been put achievers must be super-talented or of Bristol, is a looker, as well as a Which move, I confess, “route” meant that, had he fallen, he off. On the phone, back on terra firma, super-ambitious or super-ruthless. decent chap. And let’s not forget Andy I am actually quite would not have landed on a pavement he sounded as relaxed as anyone I tend to believe they can just keep “it’s not eyeliner, honest” Burnham in excited about. or anywhere near a person. might have done after a morning’s going longer than the rest of us. As Manchester. Another Andy — Street, On live television Piers Morgan was shopping. Perhaps even more so. in longer each day, and longer in life. West Midlands supremo — scrubs up clearly a detractor at first, but King “I’ve been here for four days,” he They are certainly not better OK. And the capital’s Sadiq Khan is at was so unassuming that by the end of said. “I selected which building to looking than the norm. Not the least neat and tidy. the programme he had the presenter climb, checked out the security and politicians anyway. “Showbusiness Not convinced? No, neither am I. eating out of his hand. I’ve known booked into a hotel near by last King since he was ten and I don’t night. I choose a date based on the consider him a reckless youth. In my weather and go for it. You can only the arrival of the royal reporter announced four, in 1981, Charles experience, he thinks deeply about all be in the zone for so long, when I train as the Duke and that the “tour” would buggers off for six the implications of his passion. He am in a wired state, building up to Call that Duchess of Cambridge last from December 6 weeks before his used to work for the charity a climb. The smallest little details began a tour to thank to, er, December 8. marriage to Diana. Centrepoint and as a personal trainer. have to go smoothly: hotel, food, sleep. a tour key workers around “That’s only two days,” So yeah, I know they Since the Shard, he has lived on I am an insomniac, partly due to my the country. I said to my wife. are getting shorter, savings from his work before lockdown ADHD, so I have to get as much as of duty? Prince William “Doesn’t sound like these jollies, but really, and has landed sponsorship and media I can. I managed seven or eight hours emerged in a tartan much of a ‘tour’ to me.” three miserly days? deals. He is writing a book. Channel 4 last night.” BBC News yesterday scarf.