Drops of Light in the Dark
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University of Central Florida STARS Electronic Theses and Dissertations, 2004-2019 2013 Drops Of Light In The Dark April Urban University of Central Florida Part of the Creative Writing Commons Find similar works at: https://stars.library.ucf.edu/etd University of Central Florida Libraries http://library.ucf.edu This Masters Thesis (Open Access) is brought to you for free and open access by STARS. It has been accepted for inclusion in Electronic Theses and Dissertations, 2004-2019 by an authorized administrator of STARS. For more information, please contact [email protected]. STARS Citation Urban, April, "Drops Of Light In The Dark" (2013). Electronic Theses and Dissertations, 2004-2019. 2971. https://stars.library.ucf.edu/etd/2971 DROPS OF LIGHT IN THE DARK by APRIL URBAN B.A. Rollins College, 2009 A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing in the Department of English in the College of Arts and Humanities at the University of Central Florida Orlando, Florida Spring Term 2013 Major Professor: Darlin’ Neal © 2013 April Urban ii ABSTRACT The short stories in this collection focus on young individuals’, especially women’s, experience and development as they navigate personal relationships and search for a place in the world. Both longer stories and flash fiction are included, and stories are told in past and present tense, and from first, second, and third person point of view. However, the narration of all of these stories stays close to the characters’ points of view, inhabiting their visceral experience. These stories take place in a variety of settings, including a beachside motel, college campuses, bars, and offices. All of these characters, though, struggle with questions of identity, intimacy, and purpose. These conflicts are revealed through the characters’ interactions with others and reactions to their environments, especially focusing on the small details of ordinary events and settings. By depicting these characters’ encounters with the everyday, their sense of self and experiences are shown, and thus the particularities of women’s relationships with their selves, their bodies, and their relationships are represented. In addition to this collection of short stories, the Writing Life Essay in this thesis discusses my development as a writer, my aims, and the writers, such as Dylan Landis, Joy Williams, and Mary Gaitskill, who have influenced my work. A Reading List of influential works, including fiction, non-fiction, and poetry, follows. iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I want to thank the University of Central Florida MFA faculty and students for reading my work, providing feedback, and helping me grow as a writer and complete my thesis, especially my thesis adviser, Darlin’ Neal. I also thank my family for their support. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS DROPS OF LIGHT IN THE DARK .............................................................................................. 1 Green Fog ................................................................................................................................................. 1 Windows ................................................................................................................................................. 18 The Gleam of Departure ......................................................................................................................... 48 Jagged Teeth ........................................................................................................................................... 49 Empty Rooms ......................................................................................................................................... 74 A Temporary Trip ................................................................................................................................... 94 Looking Through the Screen .................................................................................................................. 97 Dancing Bodies..................................................................................................................................... 137 Contour Drawing .................................................................................................................................. 139 WRITING LIFE ESSAY ............................................................................................................ 165 The Canvas of Experience .................................................................................................................... 165 Works Cited .......................................................................................................................................... 180 READING LIST ......................................................................................................................... 182 v DROPS OF LIGHT IN THE DARK Green Fog Danielle twisted the key, listened to the click of her dorm room’s door locking, and strode down the fluorescent-lit hallway, her flip-flops slapping against the linoleum floor. She turned the corner and stopped in front of Olivia’s room. She knocked on the door, rapping her knuckles under the pink nametag with the name “Olivia” in silver glitter that the RA had put up. “Come in!” Olivia’s sing-song voice called. Danielle gently opened the door. Olivia’s peach-colored comforter lay crumpled on the floor next to where she crouched in front of a mirror. She was holding a chunk of her long golden brown hair in front of her face, pulling a flat iron over it, her mouth partly open and eyebrows knit together as she stared at the mirror. Danielle sat on the edge of her bed. Olivia’s roommate spent most of her time in her boyfriend’s dorm and her side of the room was empty. Olivia’s laptop was open on the floor, playing Simon and Garfunkel songs. Danielle tapped her foot on the floor and said to Olivia’s reflection, “So when do you want to head to the party?” Olivia slid the flat iron down over the end of her hair. She glanced at the clock. “It’s still only ten. I guess in a little bit, after we get ready.” She turned and surveyed Danielle. “You look so cute. You got that top when we went shopping, right?” Danielle blushed and looked down at her lap. “Oh, thanks. Yep, I did.” She’d been saving the top, a flowery tunic, for the party tonight. Andrew, a friend of Olivia’s, was holding a get-together at his place, a rental house close to campus. It was Danielle’s first time hanging out with Olivia’s larger circle of friends and she wanted to make a good impression. 1 Danielle ran her hands through her hair, tapping her foot. Olivia was still slowly running the flat iron over her hair. “Change the music if you want,” she said. “That’ll give me something to do,” Danielle said. She slid down to the floor. She scrolled through Olivia’s music and, clicking some rap songs, hit play. “To get us in the mood.” Olivia grinned and bounced her shoulders, exaggerating the movements. “Fuck yeah. Gonna get wasted tonight.” They laughed. A sharp tapping came from Olivia’s door. Danielle frowned. Olivia hadn’t said anyone else was coming over. But she said, “It must be Cameron,” and called out, “Come in!” Cameron swung the door open. He glanced down at Danielle. He blinked, raised his eyebrows, and attempted a tight smile. Danielle folded her arms over her chest and tried to smile back. He turned to Olivia. Olivia set down the flat iron and spun around, leaning forward on her knees. “Cam! You ready for tonight?” He sat on the floor and took the backpack off his shoulders. “Yep. And I brought some stuff to get us started.” He pulled a bottle of Captain Morgan and shot glasses bearing the university’s logo from the bag. “Thank you!” Olivia said. She brushed her hand through his short dark hair. “I like your haircut, by the way.” Cameron blushed and grinned. After he’d poured rum for himself and Olivia, he turned to Danielle. “You want some, Danielle?” She nodded. Cameron and Olivia clinked their glasses together and leaned their heads back, quickly draining their shots. Danielle took a deep breath and then shut her eyes and drank from her shot glass, trying not to scrunch her face when she finished. 2 Cameron turned to the laptop, still playing the rap songs, and frowned. “What’s with this music? I didn’t think you were into this, Olivia.” Olivia had returned to the mirror and the flat iron. She shrugged. “Danielle picked it. To get us in the mood.” Cameron tossed Danielle a blank look. “Oh.” Danielle glanced at the clock, and then at Olivia’s window, its blinds half-open. Faint whoops and hollers floated up from the sidewalk below, and she heard a car engine rev up, its bass deeply booming. The dorm building seemed to shudder for a moment from the noise. Olivia set the flat iron down and flipped her long hair over her shoulders. “Done.” She turned to Danielle. “Do you want to use the straightening iron, Danielle? You can use it to smooth down the front of your hair, to show your face more.” Danielle touched the wavy strands in front of her ears. “Are you sure?” Olivia nodded and held the iron out to her. “Go ahead.” Danielle scooted over in front of the mirror. As she ran the iron over her hair, she watched Olivia and Cameron in the mirror’s reflection. They sat together in front of the laptop, Cameron leaning toward Olivia as she scrolled through her music. He inched his face closer to hers and Danielle saw Olivia slowly move away from him. Olivia said to Danielle, “As soon