Pentacost 5/31/2020

page 1 I. Bias

We hear these readings every year on this day. But do we really listen? In terms of any familiar Scripture: when we are tired, or not open, or are unwilling to listen fresh, we often end up thinking: “I’ve heard this story before.” It takes a lot of humility, or a paradigm-shifting experience (or both) to shake us out of that default mode. Are we willing to have our minds blown?

For the Apostles today, both in encountering the Risen Lord in the Gospel and the outpouring of the Spirit in our First Reading – was just that sort of 1-2 punch that was paradigm-shattering. But still happens today: for example, some high school youth from our took up studying the Book of Acts after Alaska this summer – and because of the powerful encounters of Christ and the Holy Spirit they had experienced – they commented that although they had heard the readings before, it was only after experiencing the Lord’s love and power that it became relevant. A good prayer for us to pray is: “I do believe Lord, help my unbelief” as Peter had said.

Do we really listen, or do we adapt what’s said to what we already think. Here’s a quote from Brothers and sisters, in Christ, I begin by quoting one St. , a of the Church, in reflecting upon the Holy Spirit, he says:

“This unique gift which is in Christ is offered in its fullness to everyone. It is everywhere available, but it is given to each … in proportion to his [desire]1 to receive it. Its presence is the fuller, the greater [one’s] desire to be worthy of it.” ~ St. Hilary of Poitiers I bet a lot of you might have heard: that the Holy Spirit’s “presence is the fuller the greater one’s worthiness of it.”

1 Both here and in the next sentence, the word translated “desire” is volet in the original . In the English translation of the is translated as “readiness” here for some . I am taking the liberty of rendering volet as “desire” in both places. Pentacost 5/31/2020

page 2 BUT … that is NOT what this Doctor of the Church said. He said we receive the Holy Spirit proportion to our desire to receive, and desire to be worthy. There is a massive difference a desire to be worthy and actually worthy.

II. Readiness & Desire to be worthy

The Holy Spirit and the gifts and fruits that come with His presence are not dependent on our being qualified or worthy; but on our readiness and desire to be worthy. No one is worthy, and the most “qualified” by worldly standards are NOT the people the Lord normally calls to greatness and holiness. The apostles are the demonstration of this par excellence.

Not “are you worthy?” (none of us are); the question is Do you desire to be worthy. Not are you qualified, but will you say “yes” to the Lord using you? Referencing the 12 Fruits of the Spirit – the question is not: “are you loving, generous, peaceful, patient, kind, generous, chaste, modest, faithful, gentle, self-controlled or good, then you may ask for the Spirit? The question is: “do you desire charity, generosity, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, chastity, modesty, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control and goodness?” Then ask for the Holy Spirit.

What strings are attached? Simply a willingness to serve, and openness to pursue right-relationship with the Lord, which include right-relationship with others (even though we know we always miss the mark). And, back to the beginning, an openness to surrendering false preconceptions of God, of ourselves, and of what is possible, and of how the Lord’s love works.

A lot of people think it is selfish to ask for a greater inflowing of the Holy Spirit (for different ), but a greater presence of God’s love in us is FIRST for God’s glory, and is equally for others’ benefit as it is for us; so actually it is selfish NOT to ask for a greater presence of the Holy Spirit in us. I will leave it at that. The Pentacost 5/31/2020

page 3 Lord’s love is more real than you imagine (are we open to that?), and we only need to desire to be worthy; we will never strictly be worthy of so great a love and friendship.

III. Visualization

I am going to walk us through a quick visualization of first today’s Gospel which takes place on Easter night, and then today’s First Reading which takes place 50 days later – Pentecost. I am going to ask you to use your imagination to “tag along” with the apostles and place yourself with them in these two scenes.

Think about it this way: the first sending (or breathing) on Easter night is like the Spirit given you at ; and the second as to your Confirmation (or if you are not Confirmed, a further deepening), in a sense you are using a visualization to “re- experience” these two Sacraments.

At the end, I will pray for an outpouring of the Spirit of God’s love into each of us – as St. Hilary said: “according to our desire to receive, and our desire to be worthy.”

You will do best if you sit up fairly straight, but comfortable. Hands on thighs. Close eyes or focus on one spot. A few deep breaths, in and out, breathing in the very presence of the Holy Spirit.

Repeat after me softly: Come Holy Spirit (3x)

IV. Easter Night • I want you to imagine you are sitting around a large table in a large drafty room • The door is barred, and all the apostles are there; • There is a spirit of tension and anxiety in the room; mostly they look bored, there is some whispered conversation. • Ask yourself what fear, or anxiety you might be experiencing in your own life right now? Pentacost 5/31/2020

page 4 • All of the sudden something catches your attention and everyone looks over. Jesus is standing there. • What does He look like? • He says “Peace be with you.” • The dullness of the room is gone. • I invite you to say interiorly “I do believe Lord, help my unbelief.” • This to a whole room of Apostles who had failed Him and abandoned him – including each of us. And then the Lord Jesus shows the wounds on his wrists • I invite you to imagine you are holding your fear & anxiety, as you look at his wounds I invite you to surrender whatever betrayals in your relationship with Him … into His infinite mercy. • Then he says a second time: “peace be with you.” • And then, He breathes out, as He says “receive the Holy Spirit.” • I want you to imagine your fear and anxiety, fear of rejection or punishment, anxiety about life disappear. • I invite you to say, interiorly “Lord, I desire to be worthy; of this great gift you have already given me.”

V. Pentecost • NOW…. Fast-forward 50 days. • It is the day of Pentecost; you are again in the upper room; but it is a bright day, and the door is open. Jesus instructed you to wait until you are clothed with power. • The mood is light & festive this time; and the group is about twice as big, and includes the Mother of Jesus. Where is Mary sitting or standing in relation to you? Pentacost 5/31/2020

page 5 • She suggests, “this is the day. I think we are supposed to just ask. Repeat after me ‘Come Holy Spirit, Come.’ Do so interiorly with the rest of the group. • Now imagine and hear a strong wind come out of nowhere and begin pushing against the building so that it shakes and then rushing through the room … no one is scared, but this is pretty wild. • Then you see above Mary’s head a intense tongue of fire. • You look around and everyone has a tongue of fire, but less intense. • Look up. • You perceive a flame above your own head. • This flame represents the unique and unrepeatable instance of God’s love, which you have been since the moment of your conception. For every baptized person, it is supposed to be fanned inward into a fire of Divine Love that changes us in the best possible way, and brings others joy and to the Lord. It is not a matter of worthiness; it is a matter of desire. • If you are comfortable, I invite you to say, “yes” interiorly; or you may say “Lord, I desire to say yes; help me.”

Now I will pray for each of us.

Heavenly Father, in the Name of Jesus, I pray your anointing on each person participating near and far; may your Holy Spirit the Source of Unity and Freedom, bind us together as One; I humbly ask for a full outpouring of your Holy Spirit – to heal, to enliven, the make new each heart today; to purify, to deepen the gifts of our Baptism and Confirmation, to stir up a greater manifestation of the fruits of the Holy Spirit; to impart new gifts and charisms according to your Holy Will; increase the desire to know you and to love you, and never cease to bless those you have redeemed, and allow all to experience the joy of their . Amen.