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The 'Love' That Religious Cults Offer and Its Effects on Members

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The 'Love' That Religious Cults Offer and Its Effects on Members The ‘love’ that religious cults offer and its effects on members S.P. Pretorius Bestuurder: Logistieke en Administratiewe Ondersteuning UNISA [email protected] Opsomming Te midde van ontwikkeling in die post-moderne wêreld toon mense steeds ʼn behoefte daaraan om geliefd en belangrik te voel en te behoort aan ʼn organisasie of groep waar hulle geestelike behoefte vervul word. In die omgang met mense kan soveel vermag word as die korrekte benadering gevolg word. Een benadering wat baie suksesvol is, is ʼn vertoon van liefde, begrip en waardering, dit wil sê deur ʼn persoon te oorlaai met liefde en aandag. Ongelukkig word hierdie tegniek om mense te oorlaai met liefde en aandag ook deur kultes gebruik om potensiële lede te trek en uiteindelik ook te behou. In hierdie geval is die vertoon van liefde niks meer as ʼn middel tot ʼn doel, ʼn voorwaardelike front om mense te werf nie. Die nadeel van die tegniek is dat dit ʼn blywende impak op lede het selfs na hulle die groep verlaat. Hierdie artikel toon aan dat daar ʼn sterk emosionele band gevorm word met lede wat ontstaan by die vertoon van die sogenaamde “liefde” wat steeds hulle denke en optrede beheer na hulle die groep verlaat en wat hul aanpassing in die gemeenskap bemoeilik. Dit is nodig om te verstaan hoe die konsep van liefde in die kulte persone se optrede en realiteit voorskryf ten einde hul aanpassing in die gemeenskap te bewerkstellig. Die artikel toon verder aan wat gedoen kan word om die aanpassing van lede in die gemeenskap te vergemaklik. Abstract It seems evident that, despite developments in the postmodern world, human beings still need loving care and a place where they Tydskrif vir Christelike Wetenskap - 2013 (3de Kwartaal) 181 The ‘love’ that religious cults offer and its effects on members believe their need for spiritual well-being will be met. When dealing with people, much can be achieved by following the correct approach. One way to obtain results is by showing love, attention, appreciation and a sense of belonging, in other words, by ‘love bombing’ a person. The love bombing technique is also employed by cults to lure and eventually retain members. Love bombing is nothing more than a means to an end – a charade to enlist new members. Even after leaving the group, cult members remain challenged by the after effects of this technique and consequences thereof. This article points at how a strong emotional attachment between cult members and a cult develops. This emotional attachment is set to control a former cult member’s behaviour, long after they leave the group. The negative impact of this emotional control on the person’s new reality must be understood and altered, in order for them to readapt to society. Guidelines are provided on how former cult members may be assisted in dealing with this emotional attachment and ultimately adapt in society. 1. Introduction Postmodern society may be described as a technology-driven society that enables citizens to participate in and become part of a global community. Technology has empowered the human race to cross over different barriers in order to communicate and share as participants of this global community. Despite these developments it seems that humans still require personal touch and personal care as a means to escape from or cope with the pressures of the fast- paced world. Some people seek out environments of serenity and peace that not only satisfy their inherent need for love and care but also provide for their spiritual wellbeing. Examples of such environments of ‘true love’ and camaraderie are those held out as an inducement by some alternative religious groups, also known as cults1. One much debated aspect is the technique of ‘love bom- 1 The term ‘cult’ has different meanings, ranging from a group which has deviated in terms of doctrine from the established religious traditions to pejorative connotations. A more acceptable term is ‘alternative or new religious movements’. The latter unfortunately encompasses all religions and includes harmful and benign groups, complicating distinction (Pretorius, 2012:195). Groups under discussion in this article are groups that may be classified as 182 Tydskrif vir Christelike Wetenskap - 2013 (3de Kwartaal) S.P. Pretorius bing’2 that cults utilise to proselyte members. This technique and other dynamics at work in cults destabilise individuals emotionally, which has a lasting impact on their adaption to society once they leave the cult. Knowledge of the impact of this technique and other dynamics is essential when counsellors and ministers are faced with former cult members’ struggle to adapt to society. Involvement in a cult encompasses the spiritual, emotional, social, psychological, physical and transcendental existence of an individual. The approach in this article although from a theological perspective, will therefore also encompass the disciplines of pshycology and sociology. The right to freedom of religion is founded on an essential condition namely that the expression of religion must be free and voluntary and that no coercion of whatever sort should impel individuals to believe or to participate in or belong to a religion (see section 15 of Constitution of South Africa, 1996). Questions are raised when the hold or impact of cult involvement becomes evident in the behaviour of individuals while in a cult or after they have left the cult. What impels people to join a cult that eventually secures an unequalled commitment, emotional attach - ment and dependency? Is it the utopia presented by cults and the harmful because they tend to, through their dynamics, isolate members from the outside world and as a result alienate them from family and friends. In some cases young people are subtly discouraged from continuing their studies or having own ambitions, since the goals of the group deserve wholehearted commitment. Family and friends observe a drastic change in their behaviour after onset of their involvement with the group. High demands are placed on their time and their effort, in order to reach the goals of the group, which results in their withdrawal from society and family activities in some cases. Cults believe that they possess the only ‘truth’ and that contact with the outside world will contaminate them. This belief and the urge to protect the truth and stay true to the truth may even lead to drastic action such as involvement in illegal activities (illegal weapons trade and drug-dealing, etc.) all for the sake of a higher cause. All these aspects of the cult have a negative impact on the wellbeing and development of a person. In this article the term ‘cult’ will be used in relation to these characteristics for the purpose of distinction within the wider term ‘alternative religions’. 2 Love bombing was reportedly coined by the Unification Church (Moonies) to describe a genuine expression of love, affection and fellowship (Wikipedia love Bombing, s.a.:1). It later became a point of discussion related to the brainwashing techniques used by cults. Tydskrif vir Christelike Wetenskap - 2013 (3de Kwartaal) 183 The ‘love’ that religious cults offer and its effects on members display of ‘true love’ amongst members that ensures the decision to join? This article will discuss the emotional attachment believed to be the result of and reaction to the alleged love and attention that cults initially bestow on prospective members, as well as the effect it has on such individuals even after they have left the group. The article furthermore provides guidelines for assisting former cult members in adapting to society. 2. The need for attention and love bombing It is no secret that human beings are created with a need for recognition, care and attention and that good results are obtained when people are assured that they are needed and when they feel loved and appreciated. Counsellors and psychologists continually stress the importance of the aforementioned pillars related to a person’s sense of well-being in any relationship. Attention is the way that humans measure status. Attention is rewarding because it releases brain chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins. The need for attention can lead to repeated behaviour that can be called an addiction or dependency (Henson, 2002:343). Unfortunately, this knowledge of what is needed to win someone’s unwavering commitment and participation may also be abused to achieve selfish results. A common term used to describe the use of affection and love to obtain results is ‘love bombing’. 2.1 Love bombing as positive and negative action Much has been written and taught about love bombing (Brenner, 1991, James, 2012, Singer, 1993 and Hassan, 1988). There are different views on love bombing and its effects, but most people seem to agree that love bombing is a powerful tool used to obtain commitment, loyalty and cooperation. ‘Love bombing’ is a general term that refers to affectionate attention focused on a person which engenders complete loyalty to the cause. It refers to an attempt to influence a person by the display of affection and attention (Wikipedia: Love bombing, sa:1). Depending on the context, love bombing has positive and negative connotations. One positive application of love bombing is towards establishing good and sound relationships between parents and children. James (2012), a psychologist, believes that love bombing will solve all manner of behaviour problems in children. In this 184 Tydskrif vir Christelike Wetenskap - 2013 (3de Kwartaal) S.P. Pretorius context love bombing refers to parents spending intense, focused and uninterrupted time with the child. A child is repeatedly assured of the parent’s love, also through physical affection, such as hugs, and by lovingly looking into a child’s eyes while doing so. Scientific research has shown (James, 2012) that children’s brains are malleable and that human beings have an emotional thermostat that can be altered.
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