The Cross & Funny Isn't It

The Cross & Funny isn't it? The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish." The man was filled with relief. Thank you, Lord, he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. And the Lord replied, " My son, that is the cross you just brought in." When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined. YOUR CROSS Whatever your cross, whatever your pain. There will always be sunshine after the rain. Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall, But God's always have to believe, or think, or say, or do anything. Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. FUNNY, ISN'T IT? Are you laughing? Are you thinking? Spread the Word and give thanks to the Lord for He is good!Funny isn't it when you go to forward this message how many on your list are not receiving it because you're not sure they believe in anything? Funny?.........Sad. James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Romans 10:16 How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace. Spread His Word!!!! Last week I went to a seminar called *Stress and Disease by Dr. Nicholas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress, which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this. On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement, "every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested." Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company." 13 ADDITIONAL WARNINGS THE FDA IS CONSIDERING FOR LIQUOR BOTTLES 13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering. You're not. 12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in vomiting in your car, on your sofa, and down the front of your best friend's dress. 11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMACK YOU. 10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying to see you at 4 a.m 8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to wonder what the hell happened to your pants. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher than a 250-pound boxer named Bubba. 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that the police can't catch you. They can! 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby large gaps of time may seem to disappear. 1. WARNING; Consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. 1998 DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES ---------------------------- BUXTON, N.C. A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the Outer Banks used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge Va., but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. You just wouldn’t believe the outpouring of concern, people digging with their hands, using pails from kids,” Dare County Sheriff Bert Austin said. In February, Santiago Alvarado 24, was killed in Lompoc, Calif., as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the large flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) crammed against the base of his skull as he hit the floor. According to police in Dahlonega, Ga., ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del., as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27,and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran,” according to his wife, accidentally jogged off of a 200-foot-high cliff on his daily run. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing headfirst through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. In September, a 7-year- old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near Ozark, Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the spot where another person had fallen to his death in 1990. DARWIN AWARD WANNA-BE’S In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N.J in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed. Taking “Amateur Night” Too Far: In Betel, Colombia, an annual festival in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no bull was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored in the head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant; “It’s just one bull against [a town of] a thousand morons.” AUGUSTA, ME - Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and, in addition to a good-bye kiss, she flashed her breasts at him. “I’m still not sure why I did it,” she said later. “I was really close to the car, so I didn’t think anyone would see. Besides, it couldn’t have been for more than two seconds.” However, cab driver Vegas did see and lost control of his cab, running over the curb and into the corner of the Johnson Medical Building. Inside, Klesick, a dental technician, was cleaning Corcoran’s teeth.

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