LED BY AN EX-SCIENCE-FICTION WRITER, A STRANGE NEW "RELIGION" IS SPREADING AROUND THE WORLD. 'HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A SeielllolofJY's inventor- L. Ron Hubbard.

BOO-HOO?' By JAMES PHELAN aint Hill Manor is a traditional an attempt to compress into S old English mansion that stands the few words of a definition is much behind a high gateway on a quict Sus­ like trying to gift-wrap a dozen live ee ls. sex road some 30 miles so uth of Lon­ It is easier to explain what Scientolo­ don. Its size and agc-it was built in gists do. For a fee, Hubbard's followers I 72S-give it an impressive but faintly will "audit" or listen to people who brooding air. Before 1959 it was owned have troubles. They use a small, battery­ by the Maharaja of Jaipur, and before run machine known as a Hubbard that by Mrs. Anthony Drexcl Biddlc. E-meter while they are the But it is a safe bet that in all its 236 people with troubles. whom they call years has never seen "preclears." The machine has two wi res anybody quite like its present owner, running out of it, and these are clamped Dr. Lafayette Ronald Hubbard. to a couple of tin cans, wh ich the " pre_ Doctor Hubbard is a big, orange­ " holds whi le he is being audited. haired. 52-year-old American who de­ The E-meter has knobs and a large dial scribes himself as an author, explorer, wi th a needle, and as the person talks, scientist, boatsman, engi neer, glider the needle moves around, wh ich pre­ pilot, philosopher, movie writer. stu­ sumably means something to the Sci­ dent of the occult and the real-life cntologist. As Hubbard ' explains it, model of "Mister Roberts" in the "The meter tells you what the preclear's novel of the same name. The most mind is doing when the preclear is made fascinating side of his many-faceted to think of something. If they're emo­ character, however, is the "Doctor" tionally disturbed about cats, and before his name. He is not an M.D. they're talking about cats, the needle but a D. Sen., which stands for "Doctor Hies about. If they're not disturbed about of Scientology." This is a degree that cats, the needle doesn't fly about. So you brings a look of puzzlement to a let them talk about cats until they're Johns Hopkins or a Harvard registrar, no longer disturbed about cats, and but Scientology, a growing interna­ then the needle no longer flies about." tional movement with branches on Scientology also has many drills for a ll five continents, is close to Doctor people with troubles. In one, you sit in Hubbard's heart. He is not only its a chair, visualize the two upper corners head and best-known practit ioner; he of the room, then "hold" these two actuall y invented it. corners in your mind and think of Essentially Scientology is an out­ nothing else. This is called " Holding growth of an American fad of the early Corners." Its purpose, Hubbard says, 1950's called , wh ich was also is to "make you act younger," In an­ invented by Dr. L. Ron Hubbard. other drill the Seientologist reads a Scientology purports to be a sort of sentence or two frol11 Alice in Wonder­ "religion;' but it is not affi liated with land to the preclear, who repeats it any of the broad U.S. church move­ verbatim. The Scientologist thcn says, ments. It has elements wh ich resemble "Thank you," and reads another pas­ psychoanalysis, although leading psy­ sage from Alice in Wonder/at/d, and chiatrists bitterly reject it. Even Hub­ this goes on and on. This drill, called bard, who has written 10 million words the " Dcar Alice," is supposed to about Scientology, seems to have diffi­ "improve communication." In at least culty defining it. He currently calls it one instance it resulted in a complete "the Common people's science of life collapse of communication. A police and betterment:' but this is only the captain in one Eastern city, puzzled by latest of a series of definitions that he reported goings-on at a Scientology has tried and discarded. In view of its tremendous scope, its odd procedures U. f). marshal remo ves "/~' -meters " from .... and the remarkable feats claimed for it, Bejel/tnlOfJ!I ort/ after IVm(/ringtol1 -raid. org. In the U.S. there are two academies, onein Washington and one in Los Angeles, which train people in Sc ientology, award them certificates of various sorts and send them out to train olher Scientologists. Saint Hill Manor, which bears the same relation to Scientology that Vienna once had to psychoanalysis, offers the equiva­ lent of postgraduate courses. "Saint Hill training" is necessary to achieve the top ranks of H.G.A., which stands for Hub­ bard Graduate Auditor. The loftiest of these is an .H .G.A. Class 4. "When a Class 4 speaks up, everybody else shuts up," says Doctor Hubbard. "The lion has roared." Fees vary in the academies, but you can get a short, " intensive" course of 25 hours for $700 or $800. According to a At Scientologu IlCadquarters in London's Saint Hill "Aranor, students of cult learn !tow to "audit" ea clt otlter properly. Scientology pamphlet, "Scientology is sufficiently simple and rapid that where it requires 12 years to train a psychiatrist, eight weeks of heavy training can permit a person to achieve results .. .. A com­ plete Freudian analysis costs $8,000 to "A MILESTONE COMPARABLE TO MAN'S DISCOVERY OF FIRE." $ I 5,000. Better results can be achieved in Scientology for $25 and, on a group basis, for a few dollars." Unfortunately Scientology does not Scientology and a nuclear physicist, and Who's Who years ago and u ~ed to pump sea water straighten out el'eryclientat these bargain­ ill 'he Southwest credits him with an en­ from its shell through its eyes. It marked basement figures. One U.S. police de­ office, enrolled an undercover man there. gineering degree at George Washington the transition from life in the sea to life partment has a record of a Florida The agent spent several bewildering days University. The un iversity does not. lts on land, and "may be the missing lin k in millionaire who has spent $28,000 on listening to Alice ill Wonderland, repeating records show that he enrolled in 1930 but the evolutionary chain ." Life on the Scientology processing in less than two it to the Scielllologist, and gettin g never received a degree of any kind. beach was miserable for the boo-hoo; years. Hi s only complaint was of "ner­ thanked. When he returned to the police Today, besides his "DoclOr of Scien­ sometimes it wou ld get stranded there, vousness" and, before turning to Scien­ station, his superior asked him what went tology," he appends a Ph.D. to his name. or even attacked by predatory birds. tology. he had been checked at Johns on at this Hubbard place. "I'm not goin g He got it, he says, from Sequoia Univer­ (Hubbard did not explain where, if life Hopkins and Mayo Clinic, where the to tell you," said the officer, "because you sity. This was a Los Angeles establish­ was just emerging from the sea, those doctors told him they could find nothing won't believe me." ment, once housed in a residential dwel­ birds came from.) According to Scien­ wrong. '"The common people's science" The feats Hubbard claims for his ling, whose degrees are not recognized by tology, you may have been a boo-hoo, did not give up so easily on this wealthy science are just as unusual. At various any accredited college or university. aeons ago. If you were, your personality Floridian, and at last report was still times Hubbard has held that Scientology Hubbard, who was born in Tilden, has been affected by some of the awful doggedly auditing him. "can cure some seventy percent of man's Nebr., in 1911, has been married three things that happened to you as a clam on People who encounter Scientology for illnesses," that it is the only effective times, divorced twice, and is the father the beach at the dawn of time. When a the first time are astounded at its far­ counterforce to the H-bomb threat and of seven children. (Scientology is sup­ Scientologist audits you, he may dis­ flung growth. Actually Scientology did that it can make you immune to the com­ posed to be superb in healing marital cover evidence of your life as a clam. He not have to start from scratch but was mon cold. He maintains that Scientology difficulties. Hubbard carefu lly points out then processes this, which is called "run­ able to rise phoenixlike from the ashes can raise a person's I.Q. one point for that his present wife Wi\S a Scientologist ning the boo-hoo." This makes you weep of Dianetics, a craze which swept the every hour of auditing. ("Our most spec­ when he married her, and that they have li ke a clam pumping sea water through U.S. in 1950. It originated with a book tacular feat was raising a boy from 83 I.Q. been happily married for 12 years, its eyes, after which you fee l better. that Hubbard wrote in 60 days called to 212," Hubbard told th is reporter.) He whereas the two earlier non-Scientology Dial/elics: The Modem Science 0/ Menw/ claims that it can improve the perform­ marriages were stormy.) He once wrote "TwO million members" Health. Overnight, Dial1eticj' became a ance of astronauts and help jet pilots movie scripts, his major opus being The runaway best seller, although the learned avoid crashes, that it can "arrest the ag­ Secrel o/Trewiflre Is/alld, a Columbia ad­ For some reason this sort of thing has journals of psychology, psychiatry and ing process" and make you look younger, venture serial. He se rved as a commis­ attracted a considerable amount of sup­ medicine all ignored it. that it will restore psychotic persons to sioned Naval officer in World War 1I in port. According to Hubbard he has To understand Scientology it is nec­ sanity much faster and cheaper than both the Atlantic and Pacific theaters, "several million" followers in the U.S., essary to understand Dianetics, as Scien­ psychiatry. (" I saw Ron do it in an and after the war banged about L.A. and Canada, Mexico, South America, South tology incorporates Dianetics and goes asylum," says a California follower. "He Pasadena, where he was known as a fel­ Africa, Europe, Japan and Australia. on from there. This is quite a feat, be­ just went along snapping his fingers at low with an intense curiosity. "Somewhere in the world there is a new cause Hubbard called Dianetics " a mile­ them and saying, 'Come up to present Somewhere along the way he took up Scientology office opening every three stone for Man comparable to his dis­ time! Come up to present time!"') the writing of science fiction, and both days," Hubbard says happily. "We can't covery of fire and superior to his inven­ And along with all this, according to Dianetics and Scientology show the give you our exact memberShip total, tions of the wheel and arch." Dianetics Hubbard, a Scientologist can move a strong influence of his former craft. Both because it doubles every six months." preached that everybody had two minds, person out of his body and let him stand Scientology and science fiction are char­ A quick computation shows that if Scien­ the "analytical," similar to Freud's "con­ over in a corner and look at himself. "We acterized by arcane words and by in­ tology has two million followers today sc ious," and the "reactive," like Freud's don't like to publicize this," says Hub­ ven ted terms, phrases and abbreviations. and is doubling every six months, it wi ll "unconscious." The analytical mind, bard, who has publicized it in many of Where every science-fiction fan knows number more than eight billion people Hubbard maintained, was a perfect com­ his pamphlets. " It makes people uneasy." that a RE.M. is a Bug-Eyed Monster, by MarCh, 1970. Long before then the last puting machine, incapable of error­ If these marvels seem reminiscent of every Scientologist knows that an "org" holdout wi ll Obfiously have given in , and except for "engrams," which fouled up the old-time snake-oil peddler, let it be is a Scientology group, and that H.A.S.1. everyone on earth will be a Scientologist. the computer. sa id immediately that there is nothing is the Hubbard Association of Scientolo­ There are orgs on five continents, and Engrams were recorded on your "time old-ti'me about L. Ron Hubbard. A few gists International. Hubbard's followers a heavy sprinkling of Scientology instal­ track" by your , when your feet from his desk at Saint Hill stands a also deal with and knowingly discuss such lations across the U.S.: New York, analytical mind wasn't looking. For ex­ Telex, giving him instant communication things as down-bouncers, , Washington, Detroit, Miami, Chicago, ample, said Hubbard, "A woman is with his far-flung branches. "Airmail is M.E.S.T. bodies, lock-scanning, dub-ins, Dallas, Denver, Minneapolis, Seattle, knocked down by a blow. She is rendered too slow for Scientology," he says. Hub­ rock slams, bops, big mid ruds, S.O.P. Honolulu, San Diego and, naturally, 'unconscious.' She is kicked and told bard speaks easi ly and with seeming goals, anaten, engrams, H.C.A.'s and Los Angeles. Scientology has also estab­ that she is no good, that she is always authority about physics, mathematics, boo-hoos, or weepers. It is not possible lished it self in Auckland, Melbourne, changing her mind. A chair is over­ nuclear fission, or indeed, almost any to explain all these in just one magazine Wellington, Tokyo, Paris, Berlin, London, turned in the process. A faucet is running science, and salts his conversation with article, but the "boo-hoo," or "weeper," Rio de Janeiro, Mexico City, Caracas, in the kitchen. A car is passing in the phrases like "small energy measure­ deserves some detailing. As paul de !oie Vancouver, Toronto, Johannesburg, street outside. The contains a ment," "stimulus-response cycle" and gras gives you the flavor of France, the Durban, Port Elizabeth, and Bulawayo, running record of all these perceptions." things Uke that. boo-hoo tells much about Scientology. Southern Rhodesia. Later the engmm gets "keyed in," and all Scientology literature frequently refers The boo-hoo, Hubbard writes, was a There are also a number of Scientology sorts of things can happen; the woman to him as an engineer, a mathematician clam-like animal that lived millions of academies, usually coexistent with a large may feel a sensation of being kicked 82 Student holds metat-con terminals of Hubbard E-JIIeter, as (luditor seeks out ·'engrams." 'j'llOuglt SCientology is set 'Up as a. religion. audUors do 1/ot llsually dress a.;; mi1Iisler!?

Neg S/m'I'}Je, Hubbard'!? rig/l.t-lul.11d 111ml. points Ollt 10ca tiollR ot "orgs " 011 all five contil1ents, H IIbbard cla.ims 1I1embeJ'!?h1p of "several miNion,'

Scientology labeled and chartered as churches. At ultimately to destroy a ll religions?" by Castro's government, which wants to the outset this move distressed his follow­ At Saint Hill Manor Hubbard focused train a corps of 50 in Scientology and is whenever she hears a faucet running. ers, some of whom were science-fiction on the book seizures. which he referred even wi lling to send them to London for You could also gel "prenatal" en­ fans, free-th inkers and even agnostics. to as " book burning." He expressed a the training. As far back as 1938, Hub­ grams; Hubbard preached that the em­ "To some this seems mere opportun­ desire to meet personall y with President bard says, the Russians were angling for bryo recorded engrams in the womb ism," Hubbard quickly explained, "to Kennedy to "come to some am icable his services. " ) was put under consider­ from the moment of conception. "Mama some it wo uld seem that Scientology is understanding on religious matters." No able argument and stress," he relates. gets hysterical, baby gets an engram," simply making itself bulletproof in the answer was forthcoming, and the en­ "They offered me $200,000, all labora­ Hubbard wrote. "Papa hits Mama, baby eyes of the law, and to some it might visioned summit meeting of Saint Hill tory facilities, everything 1 needed in gets an engram. And so it goes," Hub­ appear that any association with religion and the White House glimmered away. Russia." He turned them down, Hub­ bard maintained that a child whose is a reduction of the and purposes Scientology has appealed the FDA-seiz­ bard says, and later his apartment "was mother had been pregnant and 'wed in a of Scientology itself_ _ _ _ Why should ure in court, and the case wi ll go to trial blasted open" and his "basic manuscript" "shotgun marriage" often could recall, Scientology ally itself with religion? ... sometime this year. disappeared. under the ministering of Dianetics, hav­ There are many, many reasons. Amongst Hubbard admits that "mistakes were "We have no objection whatsoever to ing "attended" his own parents' wedding. them is that a society accords to men of made" back in the 1950's, but he insists making Russians sane, or Cubans sane," Dianetics taught one how to erase en­ the church an access not given to others. that he now hammers at Scientologists says Hubbard, "or even U.S. government grams by auditing. You "returned" a Prisons, hospitals and institutions ... " not to treat the sick or insane," and officials sane." But Hubbard realizes the person on his time track to the time of cannot do otherwise than we lcome men that h any physical illness which is mani­ "defense potential" of Scientology. "We the engram and had him talk it out by of the church ... ," festly physical illness, or even question­ can raise the I.Q. ofa scientist one percent " reliving" it. Once a ll the engrams were The rebellion dwindled, and the new able, is turned over immediately to the per hour of processing. and we can reduce erased, a person would become a faith went forth. With scarcely a whisper medical doctor." the reaction time of a pilot at will up to "clearH-highly intelligent, healthy, with of publicity Scientology spread and pros­ Nevertheless, his orgs sti ll peddle the 1/6Oth of a second. If offered to a foreign a great zest for life, enormously im­ pered. Hubbard himself took it to Eng­ Dianetics vo lume as "the basic book." state, Scientology could cause the U.S. proved abilities and a perfect memory. land, found that he liked the country and In a ll the editions it has gone through, to suffer a reverse in war. This is a hot In short, a giant among pygmies. Dia­ settled tbere. Hubbard has never altered its claim that package, and 1 don't care to have it in netics was enough like psychoanalysis to Although he is founder and unques­ engrams are " the hidden source of all my hip pocket forever .... After all, impress a good many people, and also ti oned titular head of the Church of psychosomatic ills and human aberra­ we're not dealing wi th Joe Blow, the had the advantage that anyone who Scientology, Ron Hubbard does not look tion," or that with the book an "intelli­ crazy inventor of pocomonoda. I mean. bought Hubbard's book could play doc­ upon himself as patriarch, pope, bishop gent layman can successfu lly and in­ we're dealing wit h stuff that has a large tor at home, without a ll those tedious or even elder. "1 control the operation," variably treat a ll psychosomatic ill s and background. " years in medical school. In no time hun­ he says, "as a general manager would inorganic aberrations," Says Hubbard A man with his inventiveness doubtless dreds of thousands of Americans, armed control any operation of a company." proudly, "It is still selling like mad." will solve this problem, as he has solved with Hubbard's book, were playing Sig­ The orgs or churches pay 10 percent of so many others. Meanwhile he recently mund Freud for each other. their take to the Saint Hill center. Hub­ No secret can be sale has completed a whole new "research For some hectic, glorious months Hub­ bard insists that he does not profit from line"-subject undisclosed-and is pre­ bard was one of the busiest lecturers in Scientology but draws only a token salary Scientologists have an interesting ex­ paring it for publication. the U.S. He acquired advisers, managers, of $70 a week. He claims he is "inde­ planation of any hostility toward their Perhaps it will provide the definitive press agents. A Dianetics Foundation pendently wealthy" and that Scientology movement, whether by organizations like answer to a question that some of his was set up in New Jersey. He was be­ is a "labor of love." Just exactly where the FDA or by individuals. People who enemies have raised. They have said that sieged by admiring fans and feted in the 10 percent goes is not clear; Hu bbard oppose Scientology. Hubbard says, are the very man who had discovered the Hollywood. Across the country psychia­ says he has spent "a million dollars or afraid of it because " 3 Scientologist can "clear," had never himself been processed trists seethed in wardly. So did the rest of two" on research. He does not like to talk F1ND out! The secrets of a person who to that high plateau of almost super­ the medical fraternity, resentful at his about money; he responds to questions is evilly disposed toward his fellows are human ability. preaching that the erasing of engrams about it wi th a smile, a sad shake of the not safe around a Scientologist." "That is the wildest pitch I've ever would cure most of man's ailments. head and a comment about "the Amer­ Hostility toward Scientology can even heard," he sa id wi th indignation. " Of In New Jersey, when his foundation ican preoccupation." be defined as refusing to pay a Scientolo­ course .I've been processed to 'clear.'" was charged with violation of the medical­ Despite Hubbard's claim that he is gist's bill . A middlewesterner, whose son However, the definition of "clear" has practice act, his followers packed up leadi ng a religious movement, the Food owed a New York Scientologist $350 for been changed somewhat from the old their E-meters and fled to Kansas. But and Drug Administration moved against "processing," at $22 an hour. complained days of Dianetics, when it meant a man the boom was already fading, and within him in early 1963. They raided his head­ that the treatment was worthless and freed of engrams, with a flawlessly func­ a year the fad had died. Dianelics was quarters in Washington, D.C., seizing a declined to pay. He received a two-page tioning mind, fantastic abi lities and total put away on the top shelf with the old hundred E-meters and copies of some of leller on the letterhead of The Founding recall. Since then Hubbard discovered almanacs, and people turned to hypnotic Hubbard's publications on the grounds bearing the hand­ that people have a time track that runs "age regression" and The Search jor that the meters were "misbranded" written signature of a Rev. Andrew back not just to their conception but Bridey Murphy. Hubbard retreated to devices claiming "diagnosis, prevention, Bagley, Organization Secretary. " If you perhaps to the clam-like boo-hoo in the Arizona to plan for the future, dropping treatment, detection and elimination of want to start a donnybrook, buddy. misty beginnings of life. Hubbard has a out of the news entirely. H'n 1954 I even the causes of all mental and nervous dis­ wai l away." the letter said. "To use the new, and slightly more modest, definition got a letter from the Encyclopaedia Bri­ orders such as neuroses, psychoses, schiz­ argot of the streets, I'll just sta rt my of ··clear." It now means "a person who lannica asking what had become of ophrenia, and all psychosomatic ai l­ people to work on you, and then before has litis lifetime straigh'tened out." Dianetics," he recalls with a smile. ments," including " most of tbe physical long you will be broke and out of a job, Having explained this, the master of Little did the Encyclopaedia Britannica ailments of mankind such as arthritis, and broken in health. Then I can have Saint Hill Manor rings for his butler, know. Despite the public's mass defec­ cancer, stomach ulcers, radiation burns my nasty little chuckle about you. Shepheardson, who fetches hi s afternoon tion, a few thousand stalwart believers from atomic bombs, polio, the common You won't take long to finish off. I would Coke on a tray. Twice a day the mai l across the country still clung to the faith. cold ...." The books were seized, the estimate three weeks. Remember: I am truck swings in through the gateway, By 1952 Hubbard was regrouping his FDA said , "as labeling containing thera­ not a mealy~mouthed , psalm-canting bringing the letters from his followers forces, and Dianetics was preparing to peutic claims charged to be fa lse." preacher. I am a minister of the Church in a bag that Hubbard calls "the Santa sally forth on little cat feet under the The Scientologists claimed religious of Scientology! I am able to heal the sick Claus pack." If he wishes a bit of air, his brand-new name of Scientology. persecution, showering congressmen and and 1 do. But) have other abilities, which chauffeur will wheel out a new American But this time there would be no public­ the White House with angry letters and include a knowledge of men's minds that car or his Jaguar. And as he sits there, ity, no press agents. He quietly built telegrams. They complained about " Ges­ 1 will use to crush you to your knees," gazing contentedly out over the broad from the ground up, establishing his orgs, tapo attacks" on " our confession­ The recipient quickly ponied up the acres of what was once a maharaja's setting up his lines of communication, als." Letters to the late President and money. estate, the profound truth of what he training his staff men. the Attorney General called on them As befits the head of a five-continent says becomes apparent. Lafayette Ronald Hubbard established one important to protect the sanctity of the religion operation, Hubbard thinks globally, and Hubbard, Doctor of Scientology, may in­ difference between Scientology and Dia­ of Scientology, "even though you are currently he is wrestling with a global deed be a man who has this lifetime netics. Instead of presenting it to the of a different faith. " The Washing­ political problem. Although Washington straightened out. THE END public as a science equal in importance ton headquarters of Scientology asked, seems blind to the vast potentials of to the discovery of fire, he set it up as a "Are we in America today living under Scientology, he says the Red Bloc is not. hi, daily rit'lULl , Shephell.rltson, Hubbard's !III­ religion. Many of the orgs are now a Godless government which intends He has been approached, says Hubbard, blltler, se r ve.~ /tim Coke on a sit'ver tray. 84 -=---==- ,=---==-

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