Shhoww Hhosst Withh a Yeen Fforr “Nnootthhinggg”

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Shhoww Hhosst Withh a Yeen Fforr “Nnootthhinggg” ichael Smerconish L’87 is talking sent the recording to Mother Jones mag- Mto the nation—a satellite-based slice azine—at which point they went viral. of it, anyway—as I step into the stu- (Luntz’s “request to be taken off the dio. He’s leaning into the mic at his cor- record was never one to which I acqui- ner desk, headphones framing his shiny esced,” wrote Abbi in a guest column for dome, bantering on-air about the upcom- the DP, describing himself as a “passion- ing White House Correspondents Dinner ate moderate with a strong conception with T.C. Scornavacchi, his dark-maned of what is wrong in politics today.”) An executive producer, sounding board, and incensed Luntz promptly withdrew fund- foil. When he sees me he waves me in, talk- ing for a scholarship that had paid for ing animatedly all the while, and points to Penn students to travel to Washington. a long table where I can park myself. On it Smerconish, after some indignant prod- a large map of the United States bristles ding by Scornavacchi, agrees that “the with pins representing caller locations: kid should have honored [Luntz’s] wish” 44 states at the beginning of Day 10 on to keep his remarks off the record, adding: POTUS, which stands for Politics of the “There was plenty of stupidity and blame United States, a channel on SiriusXM. By to go around.” But, he adds, his guy-next- the end of the day it will be 45. door voice rising to a rusty-gate falsetto: Near the door hangs a large framed “Frank Luntz is a big boy. It’s ridiculous photo of Larry David, the Seinfeld and to say, ‘You’re not recording me now, are Curb Your Enthusiasm creator, with a you?’ To college kids? Are you joking? I do hand-written inscription: Michael, are a lot of speaking, and I would never say you my Caucasian? Smerconish calls to an audience that has brought me in, David his “radio inspiration,” and he fre- ‘Now, you’re not going to record me on quently interjects irreverent Seinfeld-ian this, are you?’ That’s ridiculous.” bits of Nothing into his show—though as On the content of Luntz’s remarks, how- in Seinfeld, those bits usually have some- ever, Smerconish agrees whole-heartedly. thing piquant at the center. David’s play- “Luntz is saying that the world of ter- ful inversion of a politically touchy phrase restrial talk radio is doing a disservice is also candy for Smerconish, who has to the GOP—which is straight out of my written two books about political correct- playbook,” he tells his listeners. “But I’ve ness and once spent part of a show rumi- taken it much farther. It’s not just on the nating about the appropriateness of white Right; it’s on the Left as well. And it’s not people using the N-word, somehow with- just the GOP that’s being done a disser- out sounding like a scold or an apologist. vice. It’s the whole country!” Today’s three-hour show is a stew of He takes three callers. The first thinks high-protein politics and zesty Nothings. Luntz was “simply acknowledging that He began by digging into a story that the really rabid stuff is on the Right.” A oozed red and blue, both the Penn kind caller from Virginia says that he “used and the political: Frank Luntz C’84, the to be a liberal and listen to liberal radio,” former adjunct political-science profes- CCan an unppreeddiccttaabblyy ceenntrriist taalkk--shhow but now, after listening to Mark Levin, sor and current GOP message-shaper, he tunes in almost exclusively to conser- hhosst with a yeen ffor “nnootthhingg” rreaallyy haave had just been on campus speaking to a vative talk radio. Finally, a conservative aan impact oon thhee naattional ddissccoouursse?? group of College Republicans, and during pastor from Illinois suggests the problem his talk a student had asked about the By Samuel Hughes is that “oftentimes people don’t listen to causes of political polarization. After each other. Labels get in the way.” requesting that his comments be off the audience, and because they “drive the “Those labels so rarely truly fit,” Smer- record, at which point the only reporter message,” they’re driving the party out conish agrees. “They apply only to the (from The Daily Pennsylvanian) shut off to the fringe. And, he added, it’s a unique- individuals who are on the air. The ones I his recorder, Luntz pointed to conserva- ly Republican problem. meet [in person] are liberal on some things, tive talk radio as a major source of polit- Luntz’s remarks only caused a fire- conservative on some things, and they’re ical dysfunction and damage to the GOP. storm when it turned out that another not afraid to say, ‘Jeez, I don’t know’ about Certain right-wing talk-radio hosts get student (Aakash Abbi C’14) had not shut some issues. But you’d never know that if great ratings, Luntz told his student off his smartphone recorder, and had you just tuned into the usual outlets.” 44 JULY | AUGUST 2013 THE PENNSYLVANIA GAZETTE PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS CRISMAN C’03 THETHE PENNSYLVANIA PENNSYLVANIA GAZETTE GAZETTE JULY MAY | AUGUST | JUNE 2013 45 There’s a lot more in this morning’s show— “Those 80 stations were very, very sim- widow of murdered Philadelphia police two interviews with book authors (one being ilar to one another, and they all had a officer Daniel Faulkner); Flying Blind: Wharton professor Adam Grant) and anoth- decided ideological approach and bent that How Political Correctness Continues to er with police commissioner John Timoney I didn’t share,” he says. “I would like to Compromise Airline Safety Post-9/11; (about the Boston Marathon bombing), a think that what I’m putting on most days Muzzled: From T-Ball to Terrorism; the dissection of some high-profile tweets, and is some independent thought. I’m not there autobiographical Morning Drive: Things a discussion of the looming threat to foot- to indoctrinate. I’m not even there to con- I Wish I Had Known Before I Started ball from parents worried about their kids’ vince you that I’m necessarily right. I’m Talking; and Instinct: The Man Who brain injuries—but we’re getting ahead of there to entertain you with headlines, Stopped the Twentieth Hijacker. ourselves. Now, as the segment winds up, definitely to offer you a perspective, but Trained as a lawyer and steeped in pol- Smerconish’s voice gives way to that old not to change your mind, necessarily.” itics, Smerconish is very much at home Stealers Wheel parody of Bob Dylan: “I think he might have been too good for in the rapid-response world of hardball “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right— this world in terms of the mud-wrestling politics. Though his energy is controlled, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.” arena that the AM talk-radio caricature he brings an almost frightening amount has become. It seems to be imploding,” of it to his work, along with a boundless eople need to recognize that with says Holland Cooke, a Rhode Island-based curiosity about the world and ideas, a “P their entertainment choices come radio consultant. “A couple of things junkie’s attraction to politics, and a sto- consequences,” Smerconish is doomed Michael from attaining A-tier sta- ryteller’s gift for finding fresh angles. saying. “And if you’re only going to get tus on AM and FM. The one that he has the He’s also a smart-mouth who can be “a your news and information from one out- least control over was that the Holy Trinity tremendous pain in the ass,” as Scornavacchi let or one grouping of outlets and make of Beck, Limbaugh, and Hannity had the puts it. When she waxed indignant on the judgments based on it, that’s going to biggest stations tied up. So he was doomed air over the Luntz incident, for example, have consequences for the country, and to [mostly] B-tier signals. Smerconish snarked: “I appreciate your they’re not going to be good.” “What limited him is that he’s reason- faux outrage.” (Asked about that later, she We’re sitting in an upscale restaurant near able,” Cooke adds. “And reasonable exudes sisterly exasperation: “What is Smerconish’s Main Line studio, and we have doesn’t conform to the Holy Trinity song- wrong with him?” A bit of bickering helps a little game going on. I tell him he should book. He does see both sides of an issue. keep things lively.) He’s certainly not lack- take a break from talking so he can have a Those guys throw lit matches at a micro- ing in nerve; four years ago he posed buck- bite. He agrees, so I turn off my recorder. phone for a living. Michael really wants naked for a Philadelphia magazine pro- Then, after a bite or two, he starts talking to get to the heart of the matter.” file—though the photo, shot from behind again, so I hit the record button. And so on. Smerconish says that while he was proud as he stood arms akimbo looking into foggy “One of the ironies is that we’re living of the way he had grown his AM program, woods, made him look like a hairless alien in a time when we’ve never had so much he was concerned about where he could contemplating his new surroundings.
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