SIENAMARILYNLEDGER
SAY 'NO' TO ONE PASEO
Written by
Sien(a) Marilyn Ledger
GayForPlays.com [email protected] SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThis one is for B who knows why,
And for K who knows me,
And also for N who heard most of everything.
And the real One Paseo, SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThis ode isn't really for you.
This ode is
For skinny jeans and razor cell phones.
Writing on your Converse too.
For remembering the dirt lot
That used to be across the Highlands.
And for remembering life before 2008
As BlockBuster became Netflix and became the gate-
Way to 'GAY/LESBIAN' films stimulating my brain.
For the sake of those high school days and those lesbians
[ Who didn't know they were lesbian yet. ]
the Lesbians then and
when They became and
[ who am I today. ]
How different it all feels but still we know,
"Nothing’s really changed just the One Paseo."
So I guess for you too, thank you. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERCHARACTERS REENA (11-23) BRITT (12-24)
SETTINGS
North County San Diego, California
Chicago, Illinois
NOTES
The Massage: We're going on a treasure hunt 'X' marks the spot, Four big boulders, circle and a dot. Spiders crawling up your back, BITE YOU BITE YOU! Spiders crawling down your back, BITE YOU BITE YOU! Crack an egg on your head and let the yoke drip down, yoke drip down, yoke drip down. *REPEAT ONCE* Squeeze oranges on your shoulders and let the juice drip down, juice drip down, juice drip down. *REPEAT ONCE* Stab knives in your back and let the blood rush down, blood rush down, blood rush down. *REPEAT ONCE* Tight squeeze, cool breeze, now you've got the shiver-ies... SIENAMARILYNLEDGER SIENAMARILYNLEDGER2006: SUMMER BEFORE 6TH GRADE An SUV.
You can hear BRITT’s mom on the phone in the driver’s seat.
BRITT and REENA sit sprawled in the back seats.
Between them is luggage and a cooler amid the blankets, paper towels, and snacks.
REENA is casually masturbating with her foot resting against the interior of the car door.
BRITT is watching TV on her iPod while biting skin off of her hands.
BRITT’S MOM V.O. ‘Feet down girls.’
REENA removes her foot.
REENA touches BRITT.
REENA Let’s play Sweet’N’Sour.
A game where you wave at other drivers and try to get their attention.
If they wave back, they are sweet. And if not, sour.
THEY speak and laugh loudly.
Snaps of the fingers. A sharp,
‘Girls!’
From the driver’s seat...The game ends.
In a loud whisper: 2.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSour.
And louder:
BRITT Definitely sour. Come on
BRITT unbuckles and hops into the next row of seats.
REENA follows.
BRITT Turn around.
REENA Why?
BRITT Can’t know Unless you do it.
REENA turns her back to BRITT.
BRITT gives REENA The Massage.
BRITT Tight squeeze, Cool breeze, Now you’ve got the shiver-ies.
REENA What’s shiveries?
BRITT Like shiver but it rhymes. I learned it at cheer camp.
REENA Let me try.
BRITT turns her back to REENA. 3.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERGoing on a treasure hunt ‘X’marks the spot...
BRITT Four big boulders Circle and a dot...
REENA What’s next?
BRITT Spiders.
REENA Spiders crawling up your back, spiders crawling down your back...
BRITT Crack an egg--
REENA On your head and let the yoke––
BRITT & REENA Drip down, yoke drip down, yoke drip down.
Snaps of the fingers come from the drivers seat.
2008: FALL OF 8TH GRADE
Carmel Valley. Girls Bathroom. Fifth period.
Obstructed by stall walls is two pairs of Vans in one stall:
One large pair and
One smaller pair with small holes in the canvas,
Written on the rubber reads Blink-182’s line from Anthem (Part Two):
“IF WE’RE F**KD UP YOU’RE TO BLAME” 4. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSturdy rhythmic thuds. Slow deep breathing. A third set of Vans enter: small and clean.
THEY hesitate then go into the next open stall.
Silence.
Then the stream of pee begins.
A crumpled paper bag hits the floor.
A 13-year-old hand picks it up.
Flush.
The bigger Van’d feet exit the bathroom.
BRITT opens her stall. REENA opens hers.
THEY wash their hands.
BRITT What class are you avoiding?
REENA P.E. You?
BRITT Algebra... It sucks cause it’s Ms. Brown... Like she doesn’t suck, I like her but I like fucking hate Algebra.
REENA Yeah that does suck.
BRITT grabs paper towels and goes to exit.
REENA I have Ms. Brown too. 5.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERCool.
BRITT exits.
2009: POST 8TH GRADE PROMOTION
West of the I-5 is BRITT’s home nestled in the hills of Del Mar.
No sidewalks necessary.
Most these homes were built during the 70s and most definitely
SUVs are parked out front today.
Out in the backyard is the trampoline.
BRITT wears a bikini and REENA wears a one- piece.
THEY have wet hair.
You can hear the ocean.
BRITT Okay five, six, seven, eight:
REENA does a series of jumps.
BRITT That was a lot better. You didn’t do the frog leg thing.
REENA Why do I do that?
BRITT You didn’t this time.
BRITT does the same series of jumps. 6.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYour legs don’t do it at all.
BRITT Spot my handspring.
REENA How?
BRITT Just put your arms out, I’ll go over.
REENA does.
BRITT does a back handspring.
REENA reaches for BRITT as she goes up and over.
BRITT Don’t reach! Just be there.
BRITT does it again. Then again.
REENA removes her hands and watches.
BRITT goes for a back tuck. Then another. Then a layout –– but spazzes and falls.
BRITT Fuck!
BRITT laughs.
REENA Are you okay?
BRITT Yeah, that’s how I learn. You try.
REENA I’ll die. 7.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYour jumps are high, you’ll be fine. I’ll spot. You squat sit, jump–– Shrug your shoulders, Snap your legs, Then land.
THEY set up...
BRITT Five, six, seven, eight. Down––
REENA I can’t.
BRITT You can. Just lean back more, I got you.
REENA ...
BRITT I got you. Five, six, seven––
REENA goes before eight.
It’s awkward but SHE does it.
BRITT See?
[ LATER AROUND 9PM ]
BRITT’s bedroom and private bathroom are big but messy.
There is a skylight above her queen-sized bed. It is open currently.
BRITT and REENA are outside on the roof of BRITT’s bedroom smoking weed. 8.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERDo you feel it?
BRITT I don’t feel.
REENA Hold this in one longer.
The sound of the ocean.
The sound of coughing.
REENA You feel that one?
More coughing...
The sound of the ocean.
THEY plop onto the bed.
BRITT I feel it in between my boobs. Am I supposed to feel it Between my boobs?
REENA Yeah?
BRITT I mean what boobs...
REENA Some boobs...
BRITT stares up at the ceiling fan.
BRITT I feel... Like the ceiling fan Is life. 9.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThe ceiling fan... Is life. I feel safe here. Like really safe. Like I don’t think I’ve ever felt This safe in my whole life.
BRITT I like your music.
REENA My dad owns a record store in Ocean Beach.
BRITT Really?
REENA He did. I don’t know, Aunt won’t let me go.
BRITT We can do this more?
REENA Yeah Any time B.
BRITT B... That’s me. Then you... You’re Ree.
REENA I’ve never liked my name. I––
BRITT Your name’s at least interesting. Mine’s just plain.
REENA You’re more interesting than your name. And now I’m Ree and You’re just B. 10.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERStarting forever Now.
REENA smiles.
BRITT You can spend the night if you want.
REENA I’ll try but don’t think Aunt will let me.
REENA texts her aunt on her Nokia phone.
BRITT You used to spend so many nights when we were little.
REENA The road trips was different Or then was different For whatever reason and As I get older Aunt gets more psycho.
BRITT So does my mom. Maybe since dad left, She doesn’t do anything now Except parties, Pilates, And trips to Mexico.
REENA Why did they split?
BRITT Who gives a shit. This is such Red Robin music, you know? Like I always heard this song at Red Robin When it was there. I used to go every Friday After dance class.
REENA This is Five For Fighting. But I miss Red Robin. And how they’d give you 11.
Extra milkshake on the side. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThe Highlands is so expensive now.
BRITT Seriously no one can like Do anything there now. I miss the old movie theater. Have you been to the new one? It has waiters in it, They like walk on their knees So as not to disturb you while watching.
REENA No they don’t.
BRITT The seats are set in pairs and recline. And like everyone hooks up there. I went with Michael a couple weeks ago.
REENA They do not walk on their knees.
BRITT You haven’t been so you don’t know.
REENA gets a text.
BRITT Ever notice how the world looks black and white When it’s dark outside but with just enough light? I like that it’s possible you know I mean like in real life. You look really pretty in black and white.
REENA I can stay over tonight.
[ FRESHMAN YEAR ]
Post a football game around 10:30pm.
THEY share a Papa John’s pizza.
REENA and BRITT are dressed in cheer uniform. 12.
Downstairs BRITT’s mom is throwing a grown SIENAMARILYNLEDGERup party
For the folks of Del Mar and Rancho Santa Fe.
BRITT has a heating pad on her abdomen
SHE hits a bowl and smothers herself with a pillow.
REENA opens a window before hitting the bowl herself.
BRITT (through pillow:) I’m cold.
REENA It’s gonna stink. We gotta have it open At least if we’re not gonna roof.
REENA ashes the bowl and starts to pack another.
BRITT (through pillow:) I have cramps. Also, (not through pillow:) When she has parties They don’t come up And I don’t go down.
REENA Where’s the grinder I gave you?
BRITT Box.
BRITT keeps her weed in a keepsake box under her bed.
REENA goes through the items in the box. 13.
REENA picks up one of the objects and it SIENAMARILYNLEDGERrattles. REENA opens it.
REENA What is this dried corn?
BRITT Baby teeth.
REENA Why?
BRITT When I lost my last baby tooth I was really sad that the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t exist any more and so I came home from school one day and all of my teeth were in this on my dresser with a note in my mom’s handwriting.
REENA grinds more weed.
REENA As a consolation?
BRITT Remember when I learned Santa?
REENA You were devastated. And you got your period a week later. I used to put teeth under my pillow And nothing happened. Because I didn’t tell my aunt that I lost em so like Eventually, after a few days They would get lost in my bed. And I’d like feel it By my feet and at that point, I’d just throw it away.
BRITT You threw away your baby teeth?
REENA Yeah like a normal person.
BRITT But that’s so sad. 14.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERTeeth and toenails Are made up of the same shit We don’t glorify toenails with a fairy.
BRITT Yeah but you cut your toenails All the time And you only lose your teeth once.
REENA Not true.
BRITT If you don’t floss.
REENA I don’t cut my toenails.
BRITT Neither do I.
REENA I know.
Downstairs something shatters and then a door slams.
REENA Here
REENA hands BRITT a packed bowl.
BRITT hits it.
REENA What do they do down there?
BRITT exhales and coughs.
You can hear the ocean.
REENA hits it. 15.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERDo you think the ocean hears us back? I mean like all of us. People collectively. We have to be making a lot of noise. It has to hear us. And, We undulate too. You look more like a Regina with your hair down.
REENA Ew, you’re so high.
BRITT You do.
REENA It sounds like foreskin.
BRITT Ew how?
REENA What if I had no hair?
BRITT Are you gonna chop it all off?
REENA No...t any time soon. I like my hair. Like when you play with it, Like it long so it’s something–– Like I can actually see it on me Physically Without looking at a mirror. And it makes me feel like, safe. But some day I might want to, need to, I don’t know.
BRITT Come let’s fly you!
THEY do acro-yoga.
REENA’s phone rings. 16.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERHi. I’m at Britt’s–– Yeah, Britney. Her mom got us food after the game And then we came here after.
BRITT Tell her you’ll spend the night here. Tell her you’ll spend the night. Tell her you’ll––
REENA Can I just spend the night here I have Church clothes I’m just like really tired. Can’t you pick me up on the way tom–– Yeah her mom’s here she just–– Why? Okay... What time? Okay. Okay what time? Okay bye.
BRITT Here sit on my feet this time.
REENA My cousin’s picking me up in 20 minutes.
BRITT turns on the TV.
REENA I’m sorry.
BRITT My mom told me those bags in the corner are for you and your sister.
Two trash bags on the windowsill bench labeled:
‘Clothes for Regina and Andrea’.
REENA Thanks.
BRITT lights the bowl again and again and again... 17.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERB you can’t burn ash.
BRITT Can you pack one more before you go?
REENA There wasn’t much when I packed the last one. I’ll ask my sister when she’s picking up next.
BRITT lies down. REENA holds her.
BRITT I wish you were my sister. Not a real sister like I don’t want My mom to get fucking pregnant.
REENA ...
BRITT I just wish you lived here only.
REENA She’s worried I won’t sleep.
BRITT We’ll sleep.
THEY lay in stillness with the sounds of Nick at Nite or MTV or Disney Channel.
[ LATER ]
REENA I.M. I wish I lived there only too.
BRITT I.M. I hurt her bad Ree...
REENA I.M. ? 18. SIENAMARILYNLEDGER[ A PHONE CALL AROUND 11:23PM ] Downstairs cabinet doors slam
Open and close.
In her room, BRITT holds her knees to her chest.
REENA is under all the covers
In her own bed
In her shared room with her sister
At her aunt’s house
Talking to BRITT.
REENA Just be more careful.
BRITT Really bad.
REENA How did she even find out if––
BRITT I told her I won’t anymore. When we’re on the team We’re not supposed to anyway We’d get kicked off.
REENA Well is she gonna tell?
A door slams and nothing further.
The ocean can be heard.
BRITT In my head the more secrets I have from my mom The more insane I feel. The more distance From myself, but why? She’s not God. 19.
She’s not even my conscience SIENAMARILYNLEDGEROr my moral compass or anything really...
REENA B it’s really not so serious. This is weed Not like meth. Kids smoke. Literally everyone smokes.
BRITT But the voice inside my head Sounds like her and guilt Looks like her disappointment.
REENA That’s normal. That’s growing.
BRITT Am I fucking up?
A voice comes from the bed on the other side of the room.
REENA Okay Andrea.
BRITT I think I shouldn’t for a while at least, or I think I should like just only do it With other people.
REENA Why do you make rules for yourself like that?
BRITT That’s how life works.
REENA Not all life.
BRITT Real life.
REENA Not all real life. 20.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI wish I didn’t feel.
REENA Most people feel that way. Most people smoke weed.
BRITT kisses her knees.
BRITT I kiss my knees sometimes. Do you ever kiss your knees?
A voice comes from the bed on the other side of the room.
REENA OKAY, Andrea.
BRITT I can’t sit in this much silence.
A voice comes from the bed on the other side of the room.
REENA I listen to Enya or Nora Jones When I can’t sleep. What Andrea?
BRITT Nothing worse Than the feeling of alone When you aren’t...
REENA Andrea says use a dryer sheet next time. That makes it not smell inside.
BRITT Okay.
REENA I’ll see you at school. 21.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERGood night Ree.
REENA Night B.
2010: POST WINTER FORMAL DANCE
REENA enters a dark guest room.
Her hair is curled and makeup is done but
SHE’s wearing middle school PE clothes.
A horror movie can be heard coming from a in- home theater down the hall.
REENA B?
REENA goes to exit.
BRITT I hate that movie.
REENA They’re all drunk and annoying about it.
BRITT Do you wanna lay?
REENA Lay?
BRITT I’m laying You could also be laying, too.
REENA lays in bed with BRITT.
BRITT burps. 22.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERDo you feel like you’re on a boat? Like when you drink vodka? If I keep my eyes closed I don’t feel it as much.
REENA Sometimes.
BRITT burps again.
BRITT I’m burpy.
REENA I don’t know how to burp.
BRITT What everyone knows how to burp.
REENA I only burp when I’m sick Like when I’m coughing. It’s not really a burp though It’s more of like a... Burf.
BRITT burps.
BRITT The road trips...
REENA Yeah?
BRITT Were we six?
REENA Had to be eight. I lived with my parents still When I was six.
BRITT Remember my mom’s ‘friend’ That guy in the desert? 23.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYes, he was really hot and He had a nice pool.
BRITT I don’t remember that he was hot.
REENA You never thought anyone was hot back then.
BRITT We just stopped going. In sixth grade my parents split, We never went again and We just stopped being friends. Would we–– Did we like even know... It?
REENA I don’t know what we knew If we knew But maybe we figured... It out. Sixth grade camp On the bus there You squeezed your legs together tight. Until I moved my hand. Then you put your head on my shoulder Until Corey and Reed came over.
BRITT I gave them handjobs on that trip. They both fingered me too. And I remember thinking it was nothing like I’d felt before. The worst feeling. And like they were just doing it cause that’s what you do. And not anything to do with me. It didn’t even really feel like it was me… What they were touching. Like maybe… I was the hands and they were the vagina... On the trip home I… Where were you?
REENA Sanding wood. 24.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI’ve never had sex though.
REENA I have. In middle school I had PE fifth period. The high school already let out. In bathrooms–– Usually the ones by the theatre room.
BRITT Who?
REENA Travis.
BRITT Which Travis?
REENA Tall Travis.
BRITT Dang...
REENA I didn’t actually like him. But I didn’t like tell him that. He was getting me pot and shit for free. What?
BRITT Us.
REENA Us what?
THEY kiss.
BRITT Us feels different.
REENA How different? 25.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERLike pants.
REENA Like pants?
BRITT Like pants...That fit just right. That don’t sag in the butt too much Or give you muffin top. Pants that feel good. You’re my best friend Ree.
REENA Ditto.
BRITT I just wanna make sure you know that.
2011: SECOND SEMESTER OF SOPHOMORE YEAR
On the roof.
REENA Okay. Okay. Okay love you bye. Aunt said bonfire’s fine. Just if she ever asks Your mom was there too.
BRITT Where’d the fucking sun go?
REENA Behind clouds. Stop it.
REENA knocks a hand away from a scab that
BRITT was picking on her face.
BRITT I think the sun is sad Because you’re not doing cheer. 26.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERB I gotta focus on my APs.
BRITT Who’s gonna be my flyer?
REENA B If I could I would but I need to study and When I turn 16 I need a job Cause I need more money.
BRITT You’re gonna be working Where the Photo Place used to be.
REENA I know and now it’s Starbucks.
BRITT hits a pipe.
BRITT I love spring. I love the mustard flowers. I like the warmness. I can’t wait till summer.
REENA I can. SAT/ACT prep shit...
BRITT Do you see neighbor’s sign?
REENA ‘Say NO to One Paseo’ What’s a one paseo?
BRITT The mall their gonna build You know the dirt lot Across from the Highlands? There. Where the hot air-balloons fly. 27.
She’s trying to campaign against it. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERMom wants her to take it down because it’s ugly. But look there are so many now.
REENA Interesting there are only Say NO’s... No: Say YES’s...
BRITT They think traffic will get really bad, Like LA bad.
REENA Why does it matter either way?
BRITT What if she’s right And it changes here?
REENA Here is gonna change like Anything. It doesn’t matter As long as Rite Aid is still there, Barely seventh graders’ll still sit On the steps in front of it and dry hump.
BRITT I never dry humped in front of Rite Aid.
REENA You weren’t like other seventh graders.
A Facebook notification pops.
BRITT Sunscreen.
REENA Don’t need it. 28.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYou know that’s not true anymore? Sun can still give you cancer Even when it’s not out.
REENA That made no sense.
BRITT I don’t have to make sense I’m right.
REENA I don’t like the way it feels on my hands.
BRITT Put it on me.
REENA does.
BRITT types on the lap top.
BRITT Lex wants a head count For her bus for prom.
REENA You gonna go?
BRITT If someone asks me... A junior or senior would have to ask me. Lex said that Jake’s probably gonna ask me...
REENA Jake’s a junior?
BRITT We hung out once. His parent’s live two houses that way. The one with the weird wood statute. His parents grow weed...
Another notification. 29. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT grabs the computer. REENA ...
BRITT Someone poked me.
REENA Who pokes you?
BRITT Lots of people poke me.
REENA pokes BRITT.
BRITT Ow no.
REENA does it again.
BRITT Ow no.
REENA throws a frozen grape at her.
BRITT OW FROZEN.
BRITT grabs REENA and pulls her in between her legs.
BRITT puts sunscreen on REENA’s back, neck, and arms.
REENA I’ll sell you molly Or whatever you want For the weekend.
BRITT Who gets you molly?
REENA Luis. 30.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWho?
REENA You don’t know him. He’s Hispanic. His family lives behind Fidel’s.
BRITT What year is he?
REENA He’s not in high school.
BRITT O then you can’t ask him to take you to prom.
REENA I wouldn’t ask him even if.
BRITT I’m cold Look:
BRITT shows her arm.
REENA If they had hair still you wouldn’t be freezing.
BRITT I wanna shower.
REENA We’re going to the beach later.
BRITT Yeah but... My hair... People.
THEY move from the roof through the hole in the ceiling into BRITT’s room. 31.
BRITT takes off her bathing suit and runs into SIENAMARILYNLEDGERher bathroom.
REENA takes off her bathing suit revealing intense tan lines.
SHE looks around the room that is a disaster of both their stuff.
SHE looks for clothes to wear and puts some of her own stuff away.
SHE finds a USD sweat jacket with a bag of weed in the pocket.
SHE puts it on.
SHE grabs the pipe and decides to pack a bowl.
BRITT enters.
BRITT In?
REENA No.
BRITT Fuck Ree your lines... Is that my weed?
REENA Yours as in what I gave you yeah.
BRITT Can you just like Ask before Please?
REENA Yup.
BRITT Do you wanna come shower with me? 32.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI told you no you’re wasting water.
BRITT Also Jake gave me that not you.
BRITT exits.
REENA hits a bowl and blows through a dryer sheet.
REENA pulls the hood over her head
Tucking her hair inside until it can’t be seen
Then looks at her reflection in the closet door.
The water turns off.
REENA removes the sweatshirt.
You can hear the ocean.
BRITT enters.
REENA Now I kind of feel like a shower.
BRITT Grab a new towel this is yours.
REENA exits.
The water turns on.
BRITT grabs the bowl. BRITT hits the bowl. Again and again and again.
BRITT sits in front of the mirror and looks at her face.
SHE picks her skin.
REENA enters. 33.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERHere.
BRITT gives REENA a workbook that has a sticky note on the cover.
REENA When did you acquire this?
BRITT Dad mailed it from wherever. When I went down for grapes.
REENA ‘Guaranteed 2000+ if you DO ALL OF IT!!’
BRITT Guaranteed.
REENA I mean if you aren’t gonna use––
BRITT Dude I’ve gotten below average on Every standardized test I ever took. I’ve been in remedial math since fifth grade. I’ll be fortunate enough to be accepted into a Cal State that isn’t San Marcos to save myself from The dark void that is Mira Costa.
REENA You’re not in remedial math.
REENA grabs her sports bra––
BRITT Can I take pictures first?
BRITT finds a digital point-and-shoot camera.
BRITT takes a picture of REENA’s face.
REENA What do you want me to do?
BRITT Hold on. 34. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT exits and turns off all the lights. REENA ...
BRITT reenters and throws a robe at REENA.
BRITT Put this on but leave it untied. Yeah...
REENA ...
BRITT I just wanna get your lines...
BRITT gets on top of REENA.
A flash goes off. And then a sound. Another. Another.
This dance is:
BRITT leads
REENA follows.
BRITT You’re like so interesting... Look:
REENA And?
BRITT See you.
REENA My boobs?
BRITT Your curves against your lines, The way your hair falls Along your spine and falls In your eyes Your lef–– 35. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT double checks... BRITT Your left eye, It especially.
REENA grabs the camera.
REENA I wanna take pictures of you.
REENA starts to take pictures of BRITT.
BRITT keeps her face out of the frame.
As REENA gets closer to BRITT’s chest
And her neck,
The side of her face...
As the flash is about to go
BRITT moves.
REENA Stay still.
BRITT drapes an arm across her face.
REENA leans down and removes her arm and kisses her.
The flash goes off.
BRITT No!
BRITT grabs the camera.
SHE looks at the picture REENA took and deletes it.
REENA I’m sorry. 36.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGER...
BRITT turns off the camera and puts both her arms across her face.
REENA Why?
BRITT Because.
REENA But why? You’re so Beautiful.
BRITT My skin is not.
BRITT covers her face. REENA tries to remove it. BRITT jerks away.
REENA Please...
REENA takes the camera and turns off the flash.
REENA That’s only what you see. Can I show you what I see?
BRITT lets her.
REENA takes a picture with no flash.
REENA lays beside BRITT and shows the picture to her.
REENA Look at the shape of your nose. Your lips and your eyelashes. The way your eyes get so wide. The way your skin looks in black and white, Every notice the way you look in moonlight? 37.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNo I can’t see myself.
REENA I can’t see me either.
BRITT ...
THEY touch and explore each other.
REENA closes her eyes.
BRITT, eyes open, stays wrapped in the tight embrace.
Eventually, REENA falls asleep.
BRITT peels REENA off her body. REENA stays asleep.
BRITT turns on a makeup light on the floor by her closet mirror door.
SHE takes out a makeup bag and starts to put makeup on her face.
SHE gets dressed and puts on the USD sweat jacket.
SHE exits through the skylight.
The sound of an SUV starting up and rolling out
Of a gravel driveway.
You can hear the ocean.
REENA wakes up.
[ LATER 2AM ]
Nothing looks like it has changed. 38. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT reenters. Her hair is wet. BRITT takes off the sweatshirt. SHE is completely naked save her underwear
That is also wet.
SHE peels it off and finds it was on inside out.
SHE lays beside REENA.
REENA How was bonfire?
BRITT I didn’t wanna wake you up.
REENA Why’s your hair wet?
BRITT Jacuzzi at Lex...
REENA ...
BRITT is picking something
(Her elbow’s bent and sticking up in the air).
REENA knocks the elbow down.
[ LATER 8AM ]
BRITT’S MOM V.O.
‘Hola Luz! Hola I’m going out for errands, the money is in the Buddha! ... In the Buddha right here okay?’
BRITT wakes up. A door closes, Luz begins cleaning. 39. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERFor a moment you can hear the ocean then REENA, taking up most of the bed, rolls over and starts snoring.
BRITT flings off the covers.
REENA wraps a leg around BRITT. BRITT removes the leg.
BRITT packs a bowl and goes up onto the roof.
SHE hits it a few times. Coughs. SHE returns and jumps on the bed.
REENA snores louder.
BRITT goes to the bathroom and pees, a very small trickle of a stream.
REENA farts in her sleep so loud it wakes her up.
BRITT You were snoring.
BRITT offers weed to REENA.
REENA gets up from bed.
BRITT Don’t be mad.
REENA I’m not.
BRITT Don’t be sadmad.
REENA What should I be?
BRITT Ree. 40.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERHow?
BRITT lays on her back with her legs in the air.
REENA gets on top of her feet.
THEY stunt and do acro-yoga.
BRITT Fly Ree!
REENA lets go of BRITT’s hands.
SHE flies for a moment
And then falls.
[ LATER 10 PM ]
REENA enters and hands a bottle of Trader Joe’s cranberry juice to BRITT.
REENA P.S. Your mom’s home. She didn’t say anything. She was on the phone. She did the...
REENA does the... (classic BRITT’S MOM’s ‘I’m on the phone’ sign.)
REENA opens a window before THEY share a bowl of weed.
BRITT chugs cranberry juice and winces.
REENA Dude, or when you get a UTI you go to the doctor. 41.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERIt’s because no sugar. For vodka cranberries but no sugar.
REENA Pee after Next time.
BRITT ...
REENA Aren’t you gonna do it again?
BRITT Vodka tastes like going upstairs Under my bathroom sink Taking out the rubbing alcohol And just downing it.
REENA Did he finish?
BRITT I don’t know.
REENA Did you make him come?
BRITT He smoked me out that’s all I was there for.
REENA So y––
BRITT So I got awkward and didn’t know how to stop it so I didn’t. So I had sex. So I got weed and then I left.
REENA But you also paid for it.
BRITT Well, yeah. 42.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGER...
BRITT I didn’t know How to have the conversation.
REENA Where you don’t have sex with him?
BRITT Right.
REENA Say no.
BRITT I don’t know How to say no.
REENA You just did.
BRITT No.
REENA Yes.
BRITT To you it’s different I can.
REENA Why?
BRITT I just don’t know how okay.
REENA You don’t know how You just say it.
BRITT I’d rather just fuck than have to. What was funny was... 43.
I was like, SIENAMARILYNLEDGERReally wet you know...
REENA Right.
BRITT And he’s all: Omygodyou’resowet And I’m like, Yeah...
REENA Right you just get really wet. It doesn’t mean anything.
BRITT What?
REENA You now versus You when we met.
BRITT How?
REENA Just everything.
BRITT You feel the same to me.
REENA Completely?
BRITT I don’t know you’re just Ree. The way you’re you Is very you. You’re like my sister.
REENA But I’m not. You don’t have a sister So you wouldn’t really know... But it’s fine. 44.
I love you SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThe same still––
BRITT I love you the same... I just mean We do everything together.
REENA It’ll be different When I start working.
BRITT How am I different?
REENA You smoke all the time now.
BRITT Besides that.
REENA I guess, You look at me differently Now... When... It means some––
BRITT I don’t wanna be high always.
REENA I’m not judging you or saying wh––
BRITT Do I always wanna be high?
REENA B come on, You know the answer to that.
BRITT I don’t, No... I don’t think I do. 45.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYou’re fine.
BRITT Why?
REENA Why what B You’re normal?
BRITT ...
REENA B.
BRITT ...
REENA B...
BRITT cries.
REENA Why are you fucking tweaking?
BRITT I don’t wanna die young.
REENA You’re not dying B.
BRITT I don’t know if I’ll know how to not want this.
REENA B this is so dramatic.
BRITT You sell.
REENA Yeah I sell. 46.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERGod fuck––
BRITT runs to the bathroom. The sound of the faintest stream of urine.
BRITT It’s like I can barely hold it in when it happens.
BRITT returns to bed.
REENA turns off the light.
BRITT ...
REENA ...
BRITT Ree There is literally the whole bed.
REENA ...
BRITT You don’t have to be at the edge, Just...
REENA ...
BRITT ...
REENA My throat hurts.
BRITT Are you sick?
REENA No. My throat just hurts
BRITT From the smoke? 47.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNo.
BRITT From what?
REENA Just hurts.
BRITT My throat hurts... Can you breathe for me?
REENA kisses BRITT.
BRITT Ree...
REENA ...
BRITT I just think we shouldn’t Right now.
REENA Yeah.
BRITT Why are you curled?
REENA I’m a ball... I have to go home soon.
BRITT I thought Aunt said you could tonight? You can still stay the night Ree...
BRITT plays with REENA’s hair.
BRITT I’d like you to. 48. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERREENA shoves fingers in her eyes. BRITT I love you the same Ree. I promise. Please say something, Talk to me, Ree?
REENA What?
BRITT I just want to know What you’re feeling...
REENA ...
BRITT Why you’re hurting...
REENA It’s not even.
BRITT What isn’t?
REENA Me.
BRITT You are good Ree. You are so good. Nothing’s wrong with you.
REENA (Inaudible:) I’m not...
BRITT Not what? 49.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBut I’m not.
BRITT I love you Ree. You’re the only person That makes me happy. That makes me feel safe. I think I love you only. But… Other things need from me, Or I need other things, but–– I don’t think it changes us. I’m always only B to you. But–– You’re a girl and I’m... I need a boy too.
REENA (Inaudible:) I wish I wasn’t.
BRITT You wish you weren’t a girl?
REENA ...
BRITT I get that.
2012: SECOND SEMESTER JUNIOR YEAR
Two wet bathing suits hang on a rack.
Bottle of vodka, bottle of cran,
And a bowl of weed
Are on the counter
Between the double sinks.
In the shower: 50.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI’m cold let me under.
REENA Hold. On. Soap in eyes.
BRITT Soap in my–– ..!
THEY change places in the shower.
BRITT Hand me razor?
REENA Why do you shave your arms?
BRITT Hair is gross.
REENA What if I were falling off a cliff? How would you save me?
BRITT With my arm hairs??
REENA gets out and brushes her teeth.
BRITT I don’t think I did good on it. I left whole chunks blank.
REENA That’s what you’re supposed to do If you don’t know the answer Cause you don’t loose points. You probably did better than you think. You can always take the ACT too...
BRITT gets out and towels.
SHE sits on the upper part of the toilet 51. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERFeet on the closed lid and SHE hits a bong and Blows smoke out the window.
BRITT Yeah...
SHE packs another bowl.
Toothpaste spills out of REENA’s mouth.
BRITT offers the bong to REENA.
REENA I’m good I brushed.
BRITT has another hit.
BRITT You wanna invite Luis tonight?
REENA Tonight?
BRITT Aren’t you two still...
REENA I wasn’t planning on going...
BRITT It’s my birthday...
REENA I close tonight and... Aunt never actually said yes...
BRITT ...
REENA I’m sorry.
BRITT ... 52.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERDo you like not forgive me?
BRITT You don’t hurt me but I’m trying to figure out Where I hurt you.
REENA You don’t hurt me.
BRITT ...
REENA I don’t do well Knowing.
BRITT Knowing...
REENA Yeah.
BRITT Knowing what?
REENA You know, knowing.
BRITT Jake?
REENA No... Just knowing.
[ BRITT’S BIRTHDAY PARTY ]
The same bathroom.
REENA sits on the floor in the dark.
The vodka and the cran still sit on the counter.
REENA chugs the vodka. 53. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSounds of steps. The door opens.
BRITT enters.
BRITT Get the fuck up.
REENA What’s fucking wrong with you.
BRITT What’s wrong with fucking you?
REENA I’m sick.
BRITT You’re not you’re just mad and You’re pouting and How long is it gonna be this way Ree? I’m allowed to have other friends. I’m allowed to have boyfriends and I’m allowed to give someone attention That isn’t you.
REENA I’m not stopping you.
BRITT You’re not fair.
REENA I’m not keeping you.
BRITT ...
REENA I’m not.
BRITT What do you want?
REENA gives BRITT a card. 54. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT opens in and pulls out a paper. REENA It’s tickets to ride in a hot air balloon in that lot across the Highlands.
BRITT For you and me?
REENA What do you want?
BRITT I want you to take a shot or roll or smoke weed And just forget about what’s making you angry Just be happy.
Knocks on the door.
REENA (Inaudible:) I don’t do well knowing.
BRITT kisses REENA.
BRITT Jake knows How we are... He doesn’t care... He just wants to be there... We’ll be on the roof to smoke If you wanna come too.
More knocks on the door.
BRITT opens the door.
BRITT OmygodWHAT?!
BRITT exits.
REENA smashes her hand into the toilet. 55. SIENAMARILYNLEDGER[ LATER 4AM ] THEY take off all their clothes.
BRITT goes to her closet and brings back a large t-shirt for REENA.
REENA puts it on and then BRITT puts one on herself.
THEY both get into BRITT’s bed.
You can hear the ocean.
BRITT Ree? Are you asleep?
REENA I was.
BRITT I’m sorry.
REENA Why?
BRITT I think you deserve a whole person. A person who can be whole for you. I think I hurt you a lot. I think I hurt you a lot more than You’re willing to tell me Or tell anyone.
[ LATER... FOLLOWING NIGHT AROUND 10PM ]
REENA’s bedroom with two twin beds.
One untouched that has a lot of pictures
Of friend groups and celebrities and profanities covering the surrounding walls. 56.
On REENA’s side you can tell the walls are a SIENAMARILYNLEDGERpeachy-pink.
SHE has a quilt on top of her bed and
The SAT workbook is open-faced on top.
A University of Chicago pamphlet is pinned to the wall.
REENA Dude you can’t wear perfume here Aunt will know.
BRITT I’m sorry.
REENA Put this on over your clothes.
REENA throws a sweatshirt at BRITT.
BRITT This smells like this house.
REENA This house is unscented.
BRITT Unscented still smells.
BRITT hands REENA a weed pen.
REENA When did you get this?
BRITT I don’t know recently.
REENA hits it.
REENA How’d you get here?
BRITT Walked. 57.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERAcross the 5?
BRITT She took my keys.
REENA ...
BRITT It’s different over here.
REENA It’s the same.
BRITT It’s different.
REENA Cause that’s Del Mar and this is the Valley?
BRITT This place is MomVille.
REENA And what’s Del Mar?
BRITT Del Mar.
REENA It will be nice To see something really different Some day.
BRITT ...
REENA ...
BRITT I got kicked off cheer.
REENA It’s okay. 58.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI know. She’s not...
REENA What did she do?
BRITT She left. She screamed then she left.
REENA Was she... Where’d she go?
BRITT Mexico, probably. That’s where people go when They’re done with their life. She sent my grandma over to stay a few nights.
REENA I can’t believe you walked here.
BRITT Jake’s getting me in the morning. This thing is huge.
REENA Cause it’s Aunt’s.
BRITT Ew!
REENA At least your smell is probably neutralized now.
REENA sniffs.
REENA For the most part.
BRITT ...
REENA I have church tomorrow. 59.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThat’s fine.
REENA So I should probably go to bed soon.
BRITT gets in the spare bed.
REENA gets in her bed and turns out the light.
REENA Night.
A trail of smoke crawls out of Andrea’s former bed.
BRITT ... Ree?
REENA Yeah?
BRITT Do you believe in God still?
REENA The part of me that’s scared to say no does, But I don’t know yet if I do. I don’t know if I believe in God Like that you know.
BRITT I don’t trust anything My version Of wrong and right. I think I need someone to tell me. Please tell me it’s okay? That even if I waste a day, Or a year, That it’s not a life.
REENA It’s not a life. 60.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI wish she just knew, you know. She used to just know. What I needed...
REENA Like the road trips... Like I’m sure Aunt told her. Like I’m sure she felt bad and, No one else really cared As far as she did. Even just the clothes she’d give Andrea and me. When my mom OD’d the second time... I called her mom too. In my head I still do.
BRITT She used to be really cool.
REENA She’s good B, But she’s human. I can still smell you.
BRITT gets in bed with REENA.
BRITT What do I smell like?
REENA sniffs.
REENA Like Daisy by Marc Jacobs mixed with you.
BRITT sniffs then kisses REENA’s forehead.
BRITT You smell like Ree.
REENA touches BRITT.
BRITT pulls away.
BRITT That tickles. 61.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSorry.
BRITT Here.
BRITT pulls REENA’s arm around her body.
REENA ...
BRITT ...
REENA ...
BRITT Stop it.
REENA Sorry.
REENA faces the other direction.
BRITT Ree don’t be like this.
REENA Like what?
BRITT Like a guy.
REENA Do I make you f–
BRITT You don’t make me feel. Just hold me okay?
[ SUMMER BEFORE SENIOR YEAR ]
BRITT’S VOICEMAIL Hey you’ve reached Britt. I can’t get to ya right now, but leave me a message and I will! 62.
REENA V.O. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERHey I’m really sorry but I can’t come with you to Mexico. Also, I probably won’t have a phone after this so... I guess IM me on Facebook or I’ll just see you at school... Bye.
BRITT IM What do you mean???
REENA IM I mean I can’t go.
[ AUGUST ]
BRITT is playing early 2000s alternative music really loud and the TV is also on.
REENA enters.
REENA How was Mexico?
BRITT How long are you staying?
REENA Not.
BRITT Mexico was fun.
REENA Who’d you go with?
BRITT Lex.
REENA I’m sorry.
BRITT How’d you get here?
REENA Andrea.
BRITT Andrea’s back? 63.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERStuff happened.
BRITT What happened?
REENA Andrea came to get me. Aunt called Andrea trash, Andrea called Aunt cunt, Aunt threw a Bible at her head. Then we left.
BRITT Please stay here Ree.
REENA Last week Andrea found my dad. He lives in OB. We’re going to see him.
BRITT ...
REENA ...
BRITT That’s good Ree.
BRITT hugs REENA.
BRITT That’s really good.
Loud honk.
BRITT Will you live with him?
REENA I don’t know B. He’d need a real apartment. Andrea said lives in a shed with hotplate.
REENA’s phone rings. 64.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhat Andrea? ... Okay. OKAY.
REENA hangs up.
REENA Do you ever get so mad You feel like you could piss yourself?
BRITT I’ve gotten so mad that I got turned on.
Loud, longer honk.
REENA I gotta go.
BRITT I’d like to meet him Someday.
REENA One day.
2013: SENIOR WEEK
REENA is working at Starbucks.
In a single stalled bathroom:
BRITT is peeing on the toilet.
REENA is hitting BRITT’s weed pen.
There are cleaning supplies by their feet.
REENA I think it’s out.
BRITT Maybe it’s just dead.
REENA tries again. 65. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT stands, wipes, flushes. REENA Why do you always stand to wipe?
BRITT I don’t want my hand to go into the pee water.
REENA It won’t.
BRITT It could.
REENA If you made like a giant scooping arc and missed your vagina altogether.
BRITT Maybe it’s cause I have short arms and long legs.
BRITT hits the pen until the light on the end of the stick blinks once.
SHE coughs the smoke into the toilet and flushes.
BRITT Suck harder. You know, Even from the get go, Women: it’s not equal. Birthing… Peeing… It’s like we’re born to suffer. Like patriarchy is inevitable.
REENA Get go.
BRITT It bothers me when there’s piss all over the seat.
REENA Men fucking suck. 66.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNot men though… Girls. I mean that’s what is has to be Like at school bathrooms… Girls Just one drop of yellow on the seat, or Like one tiny dark pubic hair… We get grossed out And so we try to squat and aim but inevitably We miss because most of us DON’T squat On a regular basis, Which may be a bigger more general issue of Physical education in America but regardless Piss… Everywhere. Sometimes pissy-blood?? From a tampon string…
REENA Barf.
BRITT Yeah... And no one bothers to clean it So then it’s crusted on… Why? If it’s your own piss Why not you remove it? Why do we make it harder for each other?
REENA Girls can pee standing up though. With enough force.
BRITT You’ve tried this?
REENA Well obviously in the shower but yeah In toilets and a urinal, once. Saw it on some gay movie. Wanted to see if it was true... It is.
BRITT What’s better? 67.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERDepends where I am Like is it A single stall situation?
BRITT Like do it now.
REENA unbuttons her shorts.
REENA It’s not really a single stall situation with you here.
REENA thrusts her hips way forward and starts to pee.
Someone tries to open the door.
REENA Fuck.
BRITT Sorry I thought I locked it.
REENA finishes peeing, but sitting down. Flushes.
BRITT I think I should go soon.
REENA Yeah I really gotta clean it or they’ll know.
BRITT texts someone as SHE gathers her things to go.
REENA Have fun at Disneyland. There’s a drink for you in the back fridge, Ask Cam she’ll give it to you.
BRITT See you at the house.
BRITT exits. 68. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT V.O. “Uh, someone’s still in there...” REENA looks around and sprays a few things
Then wipes even fewer of the things SHE sprayed.
She exits.
[ PRE GRADUATION ]
REENA Give me something I won’t hate.
BRITT Try.
REENA takes off BRITT’S MOM’s robe. SHE is wearing and starts to put on a dress.
BRITT Your tits––
REENA Hate.
BRITT At least have.
REENA At least tall.
BRITT At least small.
REENA At least you could possibly Pass-ibly go topless.
BRITT At least You don’t have to wear make up. Look:
REENA And? 69.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSee you. REENA I feel like I look Different in the mirror Than I do in real life.
BRITT A little actually.
REENA Better or worse?
BRITT Neither, just... You do look different. It makes sense why We’re all like this then. And I still love your boobs Even if you don’t.
BRITT’S MOM V.O.
“Girls are you awake??”
BRITT ...
REENA YEAH.
“Are you hungry?”
REENA Ask her to heat the Costco muffins.
BRITT I wanna get bagels.
REENA Fine.
BRITT WE WANNA GET BAGELS.
“Sure, just use the account then.” 70.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERTry this. REENA tries on something different.
“Don’t be late.”
BRITT Yes.
REENA No.
BRITT That’s the one. Don’t take it off.
“Don’t be late.”
BRITT We’re gonna be wearing gowns over it anyway.
“Are you girls going to be late??”
REENA NO WE AREN’T.
BRITT looks at herself in the closet mirror.
BRITT I really like my nose. I think that’s the only thing About my face That I like.
REENA Where’s the remote?
BRITT We can’t see much of ourselves. Just our hands and arms and legs and boobs and Feet. Everything else… We never really see ourselves do we?
REENA finds the remote and turns off the TV.
REENA Front or roof? 71.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERLike I can’t take my eyes out and look at myself. This picture could be wrong, But if I did take my eyes out of my face To look at it, I wouldn’t look how I always do anyway so… Roof. I like the way you look in my dress.
[ POST GRADUATION ]
THEY are drinking BRITT’S MOM’S drink: the vodka-cran-and-no-added-sugar.
REENA Jake, Ms. Moore, and me.
BRITT Fuck Moore, Kill Jake, and Marry you.
REENA You always stayed late.
BRITT I love Psychology. How we relate as people is so interesting. Sometimes in waterparks, concerts, or like Store lines, Skin to skin contact is repulsive. Then sometimes, Skin isn’t enough feeling at all... That’s so interesting How extreme we are. I think it’s what I’ll study in college.
REENA What’s up with you and Jake?
BRITT I’m tired of the way his face Makes my face break out. Kay... That chick with the hair In that lesbian movie you made me watch 72.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYou found it.
BRITT I scrolled over it.
REENA You picked the genre.
BRITT John from third grade, and Me?
REENA Fuck the shit out of John. Marry you. Kill the chick.
BRITT I thought you thought she’s hot?
REENA She is hot but not like that way. In the way That I wanna be her Hot.
BRITT Do you like guys and girls the same amount?
REENA It’s just different, but A feeling’s a feeling.
BRITT Let’s go on an adventure.
REENA Right now?
BRITT Because no curfew.
THEY gather to leave. 73.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSo what do you think If I cut my hair like that Chick from the movie?
BRITT I mean you could if you really want to Ree but You never do anything with your hair and To get it to look like that You’d have to style it. It wouldn’t look like how her’s did naturally...
REENA Probably right never mind.
BRITT I’m not saying that you wouldn’t–- Her’s is styled. And, I just know you and you look at a picture And just expect that you’ll look like that.
REENA You don’t know me.
BRITT ...
REENA I don’t tell you everything.
BRITT Okay Reena.
REENA And I don’t know everything about you.
BRITT Okay...
REENA Can you respect that? 74.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERIt’s just hair Ree, If you don’t wanna change it then don’t No one is making you.
REENA I’m making me.
BRITT Why?
REENA Because I need to feel different.
BRITT Okay then feel different.
REENA Because if I do nothing Then I’m ugly or I look like this.
BRITT What are you even saying?
REENA lays down.
BRITT I thought we were going––
REENA ...
BRITT Okay Psycho.
REENA Fuck you. I hate you.
BRITT ...
REENA ... 75.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYou’ll regret saying that one day.
REENA ...
BRITT Because it’s not true. Because you meant something else. But in this moment, You really made me believe it for a second.
REENA ...
BRITT gets up.
REENA Bye.
BRITT Well you’re not saying anything Ree. You’re just lying there staring at space.
REENA Okay bye.
BRITT exits through the roof hole.
REENA shoves her fingers into the corners of her eyes.
REENA gets up and exits through the roof hole.
REENA I’m sorry... Do you ever feel like you have to completely Abandon yourself to like Find yourself?
BRITT No, but that’s always what’s made you, You and me, Me. What now? 76.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWe go to the park. Or, just Some place that isn’t here And make a memory there.
[ 20 MINUTES LATER ]
A park.
A swing set.
Spider on the swings.
REENA Ever notice how sexual this is?
BRITT Why is everything sex or nothing?
REENA Who invented this?
BRITT Spiders? We all did. It’s innate maybe.
REENA Do you wish you had gone to Grad Night?
BRITT No. Why?
REENA There’s so many signs now... And they all say NO.
BRITT They’ll go away soon. Mom said it passed And they’re building soon.
REENA You still have the tickets right? When do you wanna go in the air balloon? 77.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERRight, soon. You leave when?
REENA End of June. I mean, You can take someone else on it If you want to.
BRITT What time will it be when You’re there and I’m here?
REENA Two hours ahead.
BRITT pulls out a weed pen and hits it.
REENA hits it.
REENA No matter where you go in the world, The minutes are the same, you know?
BRITT moves REENA’s hand lower onto a section of her shirt.
BRITT Your hands are too hot on my skin That’s all.
REENA Let’s see how high we can go.
BRITT Shit hold on–– Ree!
THEY swing back and forth.
[ JUST BEOFRE MIDNIGHT ]
BRITT’s bedroom. 78.
THEY wear bathing suits and have wet hair in SIENAMARILYNLEDGERbuns.
BRITT Fuck why’s it dark?
REENA You’re supposed to turn off lights When you leave a room.
BRITT But how are we supposed to see When we come back in?
BRITT’S MOM V.O ‘You girls want some hot cocoa? I’m making it with vegan mellows!’
REENA YES PLEASE.
BRITT I fucking hate chocolate.
REENA I fucking hate you.
BRITT grabs her face and kisses her.
REENA THANKS MOM
BRITT THANKS MA
BRITT goes to the desk and plugs in her pen to charge. REENA undresses.
‘Girls?? Girls?? The cocoa? Girls?’
REENA Can you? I’m naked.
BRITT exits. 79. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERREENA looks for clothing. It’s on the bed. There is vomit on the bed.
REENA discovers it with her pants.
BRITT reenters.
BRITT “With the vegan mellows.”
REENA Wait before you sit.
BRITT What?
REENA I don’t know...
BRITT sets the mugs down and goes to the bed.
BRITT It’s vomit.
REENA I think-–
BRITT Yeah it’s vomit. That’s fucking vomit.
BRITT exits.
BRITT V.O. MOM! You fucking threw up in my bed and I fucking PUT MY HAND IN IT. What the FUCK am I supposed to sleep in?
REENA removes the sheets and piles them.
SHE looks for other things to put on the bed. 80.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI took the sheets off. We can––
BRITT Put on pants I don’t wanna be here anymore.
REENA Where do you wanna go right now?
BRITT Andrea’s.
REENA B we can’t drive.
BRITT Then the beach or anywhere. I just don’t wanna fucking be here with her.
REENA Babe you’re drunk––
BRITT ...
REENA I just mean We’re drunk.
BRITT She’s drunk. She threw up in my FUCKING BED SHE’S drunk
REENA I know.
BRITT And I’m not fucking babe, got it? I’m B and you’re Ree, got it?
REENA Got it.
BRITT lays on her naked bed. 81. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERTHEY share the pen. The hot chocolate remains untouched.
BRITT Who cares If you’re meeting the high version of me? It’s still a version of me. All of us. We’re all always altering our bodies One way or another even those who claim They don’t do that. You weren’t born with a six pack.
REENA Why B?
BRITT What?
REENA Think.
BRITT Because I feel. Why does past hurt?
REENA Because you keep looking at it.
BRITT I don’t mean to.
REENA It will be different when we go.
BRITT When you go how will I know you’re real?
REENA I’ll come back.
BRITT And how will I know I’m real?
REENA You’re real, B, you’re just high. 82.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI make mistakes, Does that make me real?
REENA ...
BRITT When did you know what sex was?
REENA Before I got taken by Aunt, We lived with this other family. A mom and her son. We would have sleepovers. One time, He told me to take off my underwear and then He laid on top of me.
BRITT How old were you?
REENA Like four and six.
BRITT You knew when you were four?
REENA I had Andrea to explain after.
Foot steps up the stairs. A door shuts.
The house is quiet.
You can hear the ocean.
REENA It’s gonna be different one day… I’m sure of it. Like really sure of it. And someday... This room will be a studio For your portraits and pictures. And that same skylight will be open During the afternoons and 83.
You’ll hang a wind chime made of seashells SIENAMARILYNLEDGERFrom a hook on that corner spot… Where I skinned my knee the first time You took me through that hole in the ceiling… I remember after I got over the bleeding, And you gave me that purple Jasmine Bandaid, I went home that night and told my aunt that I wanted a hole in my ceiling For me to climb in and out of… And she said no. Thought it’d encourage Andrea to sneak out.
BRITT And my mom?
REENA Mexico.
BRITT And you?
REENA I’ll be here… In your mother’s robe and in every picture. On the walls, the things you wanna remember.
BRITT smiles.
THEY continue to smoke.
BRITT turns on the TV.
BRITT Do you care if we fall asleep with the TV on?
REENA We always.
BRITT Do you care?
REENA No.
BRITT I love you Ree. 84.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI love you more.
BRITT You.
REENA You.
BRITT You.
REENA You.
BRITT You.
REENA You.
BRITT YOU.
REENA YOU .
BRITT YOU!
REENA Okay me. Me for now.
SPRING 2014... INTERLUDE
BRITT TEXT I wanna see it
REENA sends a selfie. Her hair is cut to a shaggy bob length.
BRITT TEXT O man it’s so gone 85.
BRITT TEXT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERSo cute.
2014: WINTER BREAK
BRITT finishes eating a Board and Brew sandwich on a ledge.
On the cliffs overlooking Del Mar beach.
REENA paces the edge of the cliff.
BRITT Not too close To the edge... Erosion, you know.
REENA I know I’m from here too.
BRITT Are you gonna finish your’s?
REENA I’m kinda full. But I’ll save it.
BRITT Can I have it?
REENA Sure.
BRITT eats the rest of REENA’s sandwich.
BRITT How’s Chicago besides freezing?
REENA Do you ever go somewhere and feel like.... Well, I could have been from here, but I don’t make sense here now?
BRITT I don’t think I’ve ever gone and stayed anywhere long enough to know. 86.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERIt’s different
BRITT How?
REENA It’s not like here.
BRITT How?
REENA People.
BRITT People how?
REENA It’s just nice. People are generally nice. Even when it’s freezing... Whereas here... People are generally terrible We are terrible. It feels more honest than here, in ways. It’s cool going somewhere and–– Being able to define yourself for–– Define yourself and people believe you. There’s no comparison of who you were before. You start from scratch. You can be who you really–– Whereas with those you know, who know you… Even in that found identity, you can still slip back.
BRITT Who are you there?
REENA I’m me still. And people call me Ree.
BRITT ...
REENA How’s LA? 87.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERLA has too many freeways to feel like anything. I left.
Walking back to the car, signs in front of the people of Del Mar read: ‘Say NO on G!’
REENA Interesting how there aren’t really ever, say YES’s...
BRITT There are, on the other side of the 5. Your aunt has one.
REENA Not surprised. What is G anyway?
BRITT No idea. But they finally demolished that Old abandoned-looking house With the dogs by the Highlands.
REENA Where’d the dogs go?
THEY get in the Escalade.
BRITT hits a pen.
REENA puts her foot on the dashboard.
BRITT We could go to the Highlands But its glory’s being eaten by One Paseo. Maybe that’s what Republicans mean When they say, ‘we’re are just concerned About what’s becoming of our country.’
REENA That’s not what they mean. 88.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI don’t like when you do that to my car.
REENA removes the foot and messes with the music.
BRITT What do you want to do?
REENA We could walk?
BRITT ...
REENA Or we could drive?
BRITT Let’s drive and you DJ.
REENA How can I DJ when you don’t have an AUX?
THEY drive.
REENA Lot’s finally... Not.
BRITT They’re supposedly building But doesn’t look like anything is happening.
REENA No more air balloons. Did you ever use the tickets I gave you?
BRITT Never found them. I need to get gas...
REENA I mean what really is there to see... We could just go home. 89. SIENAMARILYNLEDGER[ NIGHT ] On the roof.
REENA Your skin looks amazing.
BRITT It’s the ‘Tane.
REENA The what?
BRITT The Accutane.
REENA Doesn’t that make your skin insanely thin and fall off?
BRITT Yeah it does, I literally itch my leg And have a scab for like a week. It’s problematic. I look like a heroine addict. I get my blood drawn every month, They made me take two different birth controls but I stopped those when I stopped having sex. I’m not supposed to drink. It was her idea. My mom said it’d fix everything.
REENA I mean your skin was never that bad. Where’s mom?
BRITT An appointment or something. But she’s always got Yoga teacher training at night now.
REENA When’d she start that?
BRITT I don’t know, recently? She’s like obsessed now. 90.
She keeps trying to get me to SIENAMARILYNLEDGERGo with her.
REENA Maybe you should.
BRITT I don’t like yoga.
REENA Why not you liked cheer?
BRITT ...
REENA What else are you gonna do?
BRITT Mira Costa.
REENA Or that.
BRITT Maybe I’ll start taking pictures again. I’ll start with you tonight.
REENA Alright, let’s get the robe.
BRITT Your music is different now.
REENA Things I’m learning from Chicago.
BRITT Is it scary?
REENA The city? No. I can take care of myself. You know, if he wants to rape me, if he wants to stab me it’s not like I’ll freeze, I’ll fight back. And if there’s a gun... 91.
If there’s a gun no one’s ever safe. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNo matter who you are. Or who I’m with. Any guy I walk with would tell me, “Just give it to him.” Won’t fight back, They’re not as tough, won’t say no.
BRITT That’s not smart Ree.
REENA Standing up for myself?
BRITT Just be safe Ree.
THEY hit a bowl.
REENA I gave you this pipe.
BRITT It was Andrea’s right?
REENA Probably or some dude I used to fuck for it.
BRITT How is Andrea?
REENA Fine I imagine. Haven’t heard from her since the last time I saw my dad.
BRITT Are you seeing anyone out there?
REENA No. You?
BRITT No. I hooked up with my roommate before I left. It felt okay cause I was leaving. 92.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERHow was that?
BRITT Just even being near them–– Girls–– Makes me feel a certain way. Coming with women... Is different. Like we’re inventing something.
REENA Anyone else?
BRITT Not really.
REENA I’ve only been with guys mostly.
BRITT Why?
REENA My desire for sex is easier to satisfy than...
BRITT goes on her phone.
REENA Can I have water?
BRITT O my god he died.
REENA Who?
BRITT This kid.
REENA That’s why I never wanted you to drive home after things.
BRITT ‘That’s why’ ‘that’s why’ Never feels good when you hear that’s why. 93.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhat are you supposed to say instead?
BRITT I don’t know.
REENA Well, That’s why People say it.
BRITT Do you ever look at a picture of someone who died and feel like eerie all inside? Like you can feel them still, lingering in the air, and you just inhaled a bit of them?
REENA Water?
BRITT hands her bottle to REENA.
BRITT Have a sip don’t gulp.
REENA gulps.
BRITT You just gulped.
REENA More gulp.
BRITT No
REENA Small gulp
BRITT No
REENA Baby gulp 94.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNo
REENA Can I just stick my tongue in it?
BRITT Ew NO. Back in
THEY plop down onto the bed. REENA exits to get water.
REENA gets a text. BRITT looks. REENA reenters.
REENA Where’s all the vodka?
BRITT No-dka.
REENA Nodka?
BRITT Yoga.
REENA Good for her.
BRITT Now will you read me your poem?
REENA Hand me phone.
REENA turns on nostalgic music. (2000s- 2010s)
BRITT hits the pen, exhales, smiles.
BRITT Red Robin Music.
REENA find a journal. 95.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERO remember this.
REENA changes the song, Slightly Stoopid.
BRITT John from the desert music.
BRITT puts the pen to REENA’s mouth.
REENA I’m DJ-ing...
BRITT Kay, but do it till it blinks.
REENA Do you wanna hear it or not?
BRITT I do... But just do it till it blinks.
REENA takes a small hit then pulls away.
REENA “When––
BRITT You didn’t do it till it blinks.
REENA takes another hit. REENA pulls away from the pen but BRITT follows her.
BRITT Till it blinks. Do it till it bl––
REENA Fuck STOP.
BRITT ...
REENA coughs. BRITT curls into a ball. 96.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERRead to me?
REENA moves toward BRITT. BRITT hits it.
REENA “When you tell someone, You are beautiful. You use the verb form of ‘to be’ are. As in we are, they are... You are–– Are. As in, you’re all of it. Who ARE you?
BRITT hits it till it blinks... Exhales.
REENA You are any and every last thing about you. You are, and just as equal, I am. I am everything, I’m them, all of them.” ...
BRITT ...
REENA That’s it.
BRITT I know. No, yeah yeah. I mean, I get it.
REENA I think I might start using they/them/their pronouns.
BRITT Cool.
REENA This one’s not as good but: “Why do I have to stay within the confines of my body? Why can’t I be him too? Who says I’m not? Transcendence people. And different from trans. Androgyny is a state of mind. Not how you make sense of the clothes I wear or how long I want my hair... Their.” This one isn’t finished but it’s called “Mirrored Neurons: I think in my own life I am like you but in your life I’m nothing like you. I’m a million different people But they still love you.” 97.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI like them.
REENA You know you’re the only person Who understands me I think my dad did but, This song... You know it.
BRITT I know I know it.
THEY listen. REENA sings along.
‘Otherside’ Red Hot Chili Peppers.
BRITT takes a picture.
BRITT Robe.
REENA runs out of the room.
BRITT The music I listen to is the people I feel close to. So many songs you show me that I should know. I’m always behind I feel. Like in music you know. Or like I can never hear the right words. The right names.
REENA reenters.
BRITT But I like this. But I don’t remember this, but somewhere this hits the place it would have then, now. I don’t know, I’m high.
REENA returns wearing nothing but the robe.
BRITT takes pictures of REENA.
Just the like the first, this is a dance.
BRITT leads, REENA follows. 98.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYou’re like... The perfect mix of both.
[ ~2AM ]
THEY have fallen asleep with the TV on, the music on, and the lights on, food, weed gear around.
BRITT Ree... Ree.. Ree... I can’t sleep.
REENA Watch TV then.
BRITT Ree... I can’t find my pen.
REENA Maybe if you relax it will appear.
BRITT relaxes but still searches, gives up.
BRITT Hold me... Closer.
REENA I am.
BRITT I mean be awake with me.
REENA Okay
BRITT ...
REENA ... 99.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERRee you fell asleep
REENA No
BRITT Ree...
REENA What?
BRITT I’m reminding you
REENA Here
BRITT Where was it?
REENA Under my body.
BRITT hits it.
BRITT Why is it so hard to feel okay these days? I used to feel okay more. The other day, I was getting a check up. I’d never gotten a full one. Where they stay inside you, for a while. Has it ever happened where you’re at the edge and She’s saying exactly what’s going to happen next And yet when it happened... My body just... My head was pulsing and I was seeing white spots and my breathing turned into crying and...
REENA ...
BRITT ...
REENA I think the mind likes to reenact stuff But move things around. 100.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI know life isn’t that hard, for most of us, But we still find ways to cope. To keep things constant. To keep things same to be able to recreate The same feeling over and over again without fail. Drugs will always be drugs. We just hopefully grow up and off them...
REENA Smoking’s different there. In the summer smoking, feels rich thick and intoxicating. And in the winter it just feels necessary. The smoke feels the same as breath coming out.
BRITT Breathing doesn’t feel like anything, unless you’re sick...
BRITT touches REENA’s hair.
BRITT When you’d spend the night your hairs would still be in my bed and I’d keep it there till Luz came to do the sheets. And I still remember the dryer sheet technique.
REENA touches BRITT.
REENA Your smile... Feels like outside, when the sun comes out and I’m walking home from school, and suddenly it’s warm and I just have to take my sweatshirt off.
THEY kiss.
BRITT kisses REENA’s hands. REENA kisses BRITT. REENA gets on top of BRITT and starts touching her. BRITT just lays there. REENA stops.
REENA Why am I not enough?
BRITT You are Ree. It’s not like that... 101.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhat’s it like then?
BRITT I want you, Ree. Ultimately more than anything and I want you happy. But... I also think, sometimes things need limits You know?
REENA ...
BRITT And I think you can find someone a lot better for you than me.
REENA Why is that your answer? I wish you didn’t think like that. I wish it was just I wanna be with you or I don’t.
BRITT Because I care about you and because it’s true. You’re my best friend Ree and I love you.
REENA But I’m not... What girls want.
BRITT That’s not true.
BRITT Ree you’re hot. You’re really hot. You know that?
REENA reaches for BRITT. BRITT stops her.
BRITT No, this is where we build you up: Your hair is beautiful... And your tits are--
REENA When we were little who wanted it then? 102.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhat?
REENA Who wanted it first?
BRITT ...
REENA Was it both ways?
BRITT It’s like impossible for me to remember that far... Like this is just how I know.
REENA You literally don’t make sense.
BRITT I don’t know how to make sense. There’s just what I feel! I love you. More than anyone else. More than I love my family And my mom. I love you the most–– But I just don’t wanna do that With you Anymore...
REENA ...
BRITT For now.
REENA hits herself.
BRITT REE STOP Please don’t hurt yourself. 103.
REENA SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhy?
BRITT Because I love you and––
REENA NO.
BRITT REE! Stop. I can say it I LOVE YOU
REENA kisses her.
BRITT kisses her back for a moment then pulls away.
REENA You don’t.
BRITT No that--
REENA Yes it does.
BRITT N--
REENA Yes it does.
BRITT It’s not all or nothing Ree it’s not.
REENA You said:--
BRITT Ree--
REENA Don’t interrupt me. 104.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGER...
REENA The same. The same. That’s what you said.
BRITT I know I said it and I meant it Though you don’t wanna hear it. We grew up differently. And we want different things.
REENA What do I want? You don’t know You haven’t even asked.
BRITT Then what do you want Ree?
REENA Inaudible: (I want you to want what I want.)
BRITT Ree... I wanna be happy, don’t you?
REENA sobs into BRITT.
BRITT dries away REENA’s tears and kisses REENA’s cheeks and holds her hands.
REE kisses BRITT’s hands.
THEY kiss.
REENA is on top.
BRITT (Inaudible:) Ree...
REENA reaches into BRITT’s pants. 105.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERRee–– Stop. Ree stop. STOP please, please stop...
BRITT covers her eyes.
REENA stops.
BRITT Please stop... Please please...
REENA is far away.
REENA I’m so sorry... I am so fucking sorry.
BRITT Okay.
REENA Okay...
BRITT It’s okay.
WINTER 2019... INTERLUDE
San Diego 4:30 in the afternoon.
BRITT meditating.
Chicago 6:30PM.
‘DOORS CLOSING’
REE exits the train and puts in earphones.
BRITT cleans the studio, listens to out-dated music. 106.
A particular song echos through the empty SIENAMARILYNLEDGERroom...
REE on Spotify selects a playlist called ‘Red Robin music’.
REE walks down an empty winter street and starts singing.
BRITT joins.
THEY both sing far too passionately.
BRITT stands before her class.
REE stands on a stage at Green Mill.
REENA Thanks for being here. For having me here. I’m Ree– They/them/he/him.
BRITT opens a book.
BRITT “Love: didn’t look like what I thought it would...”
4/3/2019 6:33AM PST
‘DOOR OPEN’
You can hear the ocean.
Two sets of feet climbing up the stairs.
THEY enter BRITT’s room.
It is now a studio.
With a wind-chime in the corner, near the ceiling hole... 107. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBRITT exits the. REE looks around. BRITT V.O. IN YOUR TEA DO YOU WANT: STEVIA OR... RAW SUGAR OR... VEGAN HONEY?
REE I’ll try the––
BRITT V.O. WHAT?
REE VEGAN HONEY.
You can hear the ocean.
BRITT reenters with tea.
BRITT It’s really agave. I’m branding it and Selling it at the farmer’s market.
REE Tastes like honey still to me.
BRITT I’m working on finding a space for these somewhere.
REE Where ya thinking?
BRITT Anywhere that will take me... Ever.
BRITT’s mom wearing that robe covers the walls. 108.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERWhen it started getting bad We took her to the hospital… I was going through her things here And I found that robe and brought it. That’s when I started taking these of her.
REE She never really looked Sick...
BRITT She’s good at it. In these pictures, I think that they got both you know? The her she was and the her she made.
REE I’m sorry.
BRITT You don’t have to say things like that Ree.
The wind chimes...
On the roof.
REE hits a pen.
REE You could just make this the space.
BRITT ...
REE I mean it. Invite people to see it here. You could make the whole house...
REE offers the weed.
BRITT During Teacher Training In Costa Rica I met a girl Who told me Weed is a spiritual drug, 109.
That I don’t wanna abuse it. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERNo matter what weed took half. Good or bad. Memory. Feeling. Responsibility. For me, it’s just better this way. I have fun without it. Stopping is way harder Than not starting.
REE I have one that’s just CBD...
BRITT Like no judgement really. You really shouldn’t be vaping anymore.
REE I know. There’s no safe way to cut corners.
THEY move into the master bedroom.
BRITT We can lay if you want to.
REE Are you tired?
BRITT I could rest my eyes.
REE Rest my eyes? It’s what old people say.
BRITT Yeah.
The master bedroom:
BRITT gets on the bed.
REE gets on the bed and lies a safe distance away from BRITT. 110.
BRITT pulls the covers up around the two of SIENAMARILYNLEDGERthem.
SHE closes her eyes.
REE watches then closes THEIR eyes.
Eventually THEY both fall asleep.
The sound of the ocean. The sound of rain. Of cars driving in it.
REENA wakes up.
BRITT is doing yoga.
REE It’s weird being in here.
BRITT It’s weird... This is my house.
REE gets up and grabs a bag and enters the bathroom.
Reemerges dressed.
REE fixes their hair.
BRITT You style it now, With Axe.
REE I can’t tell if I’ve regressed or grown.
BRITT You’ve grown.
REE So you do the yoga now?
BRITT I do the yoga now. 111.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGERMan, why is yoga so...
BRITT does a really slow jump back.
REENA (Inaudible:) Sexy.
BRITT Cause it requires you to experience slowly. Try?
REE gets on the mat.
REE What do I do?
BRITT Get comfortable. Close your lips. If it’s comfortable, Close your eyes.
BRITT Breathe in through your nose, Out through your nose. Good. Pay attention to that. For as long as you can, As many breaths as you can. When other thoughts come, Let them go With the next breath out. Allow for whatever to happen. Come back with the next breath in. See if you can come two just two thoughts: Breath, not breath. Breath, not breath, breath, not breath... You can open your eyes if you want. How do you feel?
REE No movement? 112.
BRITT SIENAMARILYNLEDGERBreath is movement.
REE gets a text, BRITT sees.
BRITT B?
REE Bailey but they go by B.
BRITT Is she your––
REE Not--
BRITT I mean--
REE No, I mean we’re not... But, They like me I think.
BRITT How did it happen?
REE The way it happens. When my life changed, They were there. And we fit for now. Room for things to change. When they do... We try to be honest.
BRITT Are you happy?
REE I never know how to answer that.
BRITT Yes or no. 113.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGERYes and no. But it’s like, There’s this space between our bodies Even when we’re touching completely. Like I still can see where their life ends And mine begins. Like I still know nothing Of what they’ll do next. I still am like… Here, just... For now at least–– Yeah.
BRITT Good.
REE But we’re not... We know We have lots of people Who...
BRITT ...
REE Matter. What about you?
BRITT Not really.
REE Not really?
BRITT I mean people matter, But, I’m not really Looking for anything.
REE ...
BRITT You look like a little boy. It’s cute. 114.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThanks.
BRITT Mom and I were creeping you.
REE What were you creeping?
BRITT Just pictures and stuff.
REE What’d she say?
BRITT ‘That’s her??’ I told her you--
REE She can call me her. Or you can, I’m still... To you I’ll always be her.
BRITT Teaching her things feels like Nothing’s changed About the world since like 2008.
REE You’re the only person I know who truly Understands me I think. It’s weird Being in the world with people and like Not having that piece of clarity. Do you feel like you know what I’ll do next?
BRITT I feel like it. But I know I don’t. Sometimes I’m right sometimes I’m wrong.
REE I don’t really know anybody out Here anymore.
BRITT Are you thinking of coming back? 115.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGERI’m just thinking.
BRITT What do you want to do?
REE Graduating college feels like Getting out of prison... I don’t know... I don’t really feel Like doing anything.
BRITT grabs REE’s book.
REE No.
REE hides their face.
BRITT You literally published it For the world to see And you’re hiding fr--
REE You’re different.
BRITT I know you.
REE Exactly.
BRITT So you won’t read to me?
REE What part?
BRITT Any.
REE ‘Every person is just another person... (Eventually.) So it goes two persons 116.
Look at something at the same time. But I’ll never feel inside SIENAMARILYNLEDGERThe way you feel in you... It’s cool. We were both there looking Just seeing differently.’
BRITT ...
REE ...
BRITT I’m proud of you Ree.
REE I think I’ll write better things one day.
BRITT You will too.
REE gets a call and ignores.
BRITT You can answer.
REE I know I can.
BRITT ...
REE It’s hard letting go being a mess of a person.
BRITT Turn around.
REE turns around.
BRITT gives REE the massage.
BRITT ‘Tight squeeze, cool breeze... 117.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGER...
BRITT Now you’ve got the shiveries.’
REE ...
BRITT I know
REE How?
BRITT I just do.
REE Did we love the pieces of ourselves we saw in each other?
BRITT ...
REE Maybe that’s not love.
BRITT Then what is it?
REE ...
BRITT ...
THEY hold each other. When one moves the other counter moves and they settle.
BRITT When I asked my mom what she thought about us You know what she said? ‘Love is easy.’ And, ‘People work but it’s hard work.’ 118. SIENAMARILYNLEDGERTHEY laugh, THEY cry, THEY hold each other. A series of positions of them resting in BRITT’s bed looking at each other.
REE Is it raining?
Outside on the trampoline.
REE and BRITT jump in the fog and drizzling rain.
BRITT ...
REE What?
BRITT ...
REE WHAT?
BRITT I think I love you.
REE ...
BRITT Yeah, I think I love Ree.
REE ...
BRITT ...
REE I love you too.
BRITT ... 119.
REE SIENAMARILYNLEDGER...
BRITT You
REE You
BRITT YOU
REE YOU
BRITT You!
REE You!
BRITT You!
REE You!
It continues as lights fade.
[you can still hear the ocean]
END OF PLAY