TABLE OF CONTENTS

Scheduling a Date & Time page 1

Who May Marry in Our Church page 1

Elements of the Preparation Process page 2-4 Initial meeting with the priest Fees Archdiocesan Enrichment Program for the Engaged FOCCUS: Pre- Inventory

Preparation for the Liturgy (the Rite of Marriage) page 4-6 The Marriage Rite: Whether during Mass or outside of Mass Planning the Ceremony Celebrants of the Marriage Rite

Rehearsal page 6

For the Wedding Day page 7

Photography/Videotaping/Lighting Guidelines page 7

1

GUIDELINES FOR YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY

Scheduling a Date & Time

Please contact the office at least nine (9) months before the time you wish to marry. We strongly suggest that you contact the parish office prior to arranging a date with a reception hall or caterer. If you are not registered at Lumen Christi Parish, and are not registered at any other parish, you are encouraged to register with our parish.

After your initial contact with the parish office, one of the parish clergy will be in contact with you to arrange the first meeting with you as a couple. A payment of $225.00 will reserve your wedding date on the parish calendar. This fee helps to defray the parish’s costs of preparing for and celebrating your wedding. may be scheduled for Friday afternoons at 4:00 pm, and on Saturday at 11:00 am or 2:00 pm. There are times in the Church liturgical year, such as Lent and Advent, when the celebration of a wedding is less appropriate. Because of the busy schedule of parish priests, deacons, and musicians, weddings between Christmas and New Year’s are rarely scheduled.

Who May Marry in Our Church?

Registered parish members or the children of registered members may celebrate their wedding at Lumen Christi. Either the or groom or both should be registered and participating in parish life for nine months before the wedding date. In special circumstances, couples who are not registered at Lumen Christi may be married at the parish. In this case, the bride and/or groom should be registered and participating in a Catholic parish where they live, and have permission from their pastor to be married outside of their own parish.

2

Elements of the Preparation Process

1. Initial meeting with the priest or deacon. A priest or deacon will meet with you to discuss the meaning of the sacrament of marriage, as well as your understanding of this sacrament and why you choose to marry in the Church. He will explain the preparation process and the tasks that need to be accomplished. He will also assist you with the following paperwork.

a. Pre-nuptial questionnaire. This questionnaire, which is required by church law, is the main document for every wedding in the . It contains basic information and your sacramental history (, confirmation, etc), as well as questions to determine that you are free to marry in the Catholic Church.

b. Affidavits. If necessary, an Affidavit of Freedom must be obtained from people who know you well and can testify that you are free to marry.

c. Baptismal Certificates. Each Catholic must obtain a recently issued copy of his/her baptismal certificate (within 6 months of the wedding date). This can be done by phoning or writing the church where you were baptized and asking them to send the baptismal certificate directly to Lumen Christi. The original certificate issued at the time of your Catholic baptism cannot be accepted, since only a recently issued certificate will include notations of the other sacraments you have received. Other baptized Christians who are not Catholic must present a record of their also. In their case, a copy of an original baptismal certificate is sufficient.

d. Other documents. The priest or deacon will let you know if any special circumstances related to your marriage require additional documentation. For example, if either one of you has been married before, an is needed, or if you are not baptized in any faith. If it is determined that a church annulment is needed, this process can take up to 18 months to complete. Church cannot be scheduled until the necessary annulment has been granted.

3

e. Site addresses. For wedding invitations and directions for your guests, please use the following addresses. When mailing documents or payments to our parish office, please use the Mequon address. The parish office phone number is 262-242-7967.

Lumen Christi Catholic Church 11300 N St. James Lane Mequon, WI 53092

Lumen Christi Catholic Church 138 W Buntrock Avenue Thiensville, WI 53092

2. Fees. There is a $225 payment due to Lumen Christi Parish at the time of scheduling your wedding on the parish calendar. This fee includes the sacramental stipend, stole fee, preparation materials, FOCCUS, and parish expenses.

Information on fees for musicians will be provided by the Director of Music and Liturgy. Peggy Hughes, Director of Music and Liturgy in Mequon can be reached at 242-7968 and [email protected]. Margaret Caldwell, Director of Music and Liturgy in Thiensville can be reached at 262-512-8982 and [email protected]. If you wish to give the Presider an expression of appreciation, you may do so, directly to him.

3. Archdiocesan Enrichment Program for the Engaged. This program is offered as a day-long Saturday event or as a Friday/Saturday overnight event. It is your responsibility to register for and attend one of these programs. The program includes some short talks by married couples and by a priest, with the majority of time given to the two of you to talk and share about specific topics and tasks of marriage. Visit the Archdiocesan website for more information and to register on- line: www.johnpaul2center.org/NazarethProject/EngagedEnrichment.htm.

4. FOCCUS: Pre-marriage Inventory. You will be contacted by a married couple from our parish. They will guide you through the FOCCUS Questionnaire and Inventory and discuss the results with you. The Inventory is meant to facilitate an extended discussion between you and the married couple about the many areas of joy and challenge in married life.

4

5. Marriage License. It is your responsibility to obtain a marriage license from the county court house in the Wisconsin county in which you reside. If your residence is in another state, the marriage license must be obtained in Ozaukee County, the county in which Lumen Christi parish is located. Each of you needs to provide a birth certificate. You must apply for the license between thirty (30) and eight (8) days before your marriage. The license expires after thirty days. You cannot get married in the church if you do not have a marriage license. Additional information on obtaining a marriage license is provided in the marriage folder.

6. Announcement of your marriage is the “BANNS OF MARRIAGE”. It is the publication of your wedding in the parish bulletin (on the three Sundays prior to your wedding date). The parish office will see to the publication of these banns.

Preparation for the Wedding Liturgy (the Rite of Marriage)

The priest or deacon will provide you with a booklet that explains the various parts of the wedding liturgy. After your initial discussion with him, you will need to contact either Peggy Hughes, Director of Music and Liturgy in Mequon at 262-242-7968 and [email protected] or Margaret Caldwell, Director of Music and Liturgy in Thiensville at 262-512-8982 and [email protected].

The Marriage Rite: Whether during Mass or outside of Mass? Early in your marriage preparation it will be determined if the Rite of Marriage should be celebrated within Mass (a nuptial Mass) or celebrated outside of Mass (a marriage ceremony). Much of this is explained in the opening pages of the Together for Life book found in your wedding folder. Your desires in this matter should center on what form of liturgy best will enable the particular wedding assembly to celebrate with both of you. Consider the following: Are both of you Catholic? If not, how does the non-Catholic feel about celebrating marriage within a Mass? Do you regularly attend Sunday Mass? Has Mass been an important regular part of your lives? Have you been away from Mass for a long time? Who will your guests be? Is the celebration of the the best way to help them to be with you and pray with you at your wedding?

Planning the Ceremony In your discussions with the priest or deacon and the Director of Music and Liturgy, the Together for Life book will assist you by giving you many options to help you personalize your wedding ceremony. For example;

5

◊Readings. Besides the suggested scriptural readings, it is also acceptable for other scripture passages to be used.

◊General Intercessions. You may use the suggested general intercessions or write your own. If you write your own, refer to the form and options given in your wedding planning book. When completed, a copy of the written petitions should be given to the priest or deacon.

◊. The “Unity Candle” is a recent tradition that is neither mentioned nor required by the liturgical documents of our Church. If you wish to include this symbol in your ceremony, you will need to provide the Unity Candle itself. An appropriate candle-holder will be provided by the parish. The parish will also provide the two individual candles from which the unity candle is lit.

◊Decorations/ Liturgical Environment. The liturgical environment that is in place for the congregation as a whole is not to be moved. We ask that you discuss your floral arrangement with the priest, deacon, or liturgical minister prior to ordering them. Floral arrangements and decorations should not be attached to the pews with tape or any other damaging device. We welcome any floral arrangements you may wish to leave in the church after the celebration of the wedding. Nothing may be thrown in the aisles or outside of the church. Aisle runners are not to be used because of safety concerns. Finally, in all instances, we remind you that no alterations may be made to any of the seasonal church decorations.

Celebrants of the Marriage Rite ◊You, the couple. In the Roman Catholic tradition, you, the bride and groom, administer the sacrament of marriage to one another.

◊Presider. Ordinarily, the priests or deacons of Lumen Christi will officiate at weddings celebrated in the parish. You may invite a priest or deacon who is a friend or relative to concelebrate with the parish priest/deacon, or even to preside at your wedding by himself without the presence of parish clergy. In this latter case, you first need to obtain permission from the Lumen Christi parish priest. Also, at this time in the history of our church every visiting minister needs to provide a “Letter of Suitability” from his or religious superior. In such instances when there is a visiting presider, the preparation process will still ordinarily be completed under the direction of the priest at Lumen Christi. In the case of weddings where ministers of other Christian denominations or other faiths are taking part, the appropriate adaptations will be made after the parish priest’s or deacon’s consultation with you and the other minister.

6

◊Music Ministers. The Directors of Music and Liturgy at Lumen Christi always conduct the consultation and planning sessions with the engaged couple (not other family members or wedding planners). The usual practice is that musicians from Lumen Christi will be the principal musicians at your wedding. All music chosen must be in accordance with Archdiocesan guidelines and reflect the religious and sacramental nature of marriage. Also, at the time of the consulting session with the Director of Music and Liturgy will also describe and explain the other liturgical service the parish offers.

These services primarily include assistance in outlining your order of worship for the wedding and having an organist and a cantor present to enable the assembly’s participation in singing. You are responsible for creating, duplicating and distributing your orders of worship (the wedding programs). You may invite instrumentalists and soloists from outside our parish to be involved, but you are to discuss this first with the Director of Music and Liturgy. As a norm, all music involving the participation of the assembly is led by a trained cantor from Lumen Christi. Payment of any non-parish musician is entirely your responsibility.

◊Lector, gift bearers, Eucharistic ministers, ushers, and members of the wedding party. These are significant ways in which members of your families and your friends can become involved in your wedding ceremony. The more your guests are able to participate in the ceremony, the more they will appreciate your desire to have them experience the love and joy of your relationship.

Rehearsal The wedding rehearsal is usually the evening before your wedding ceremony. A typical time is 5:00 p.m., but the final time will be determined with the priest or deacon. The rehearsal will take about an hour. Please remind everyone to be on time.

In addition to the ministers and family members involved in your wedding ceremony, you will need to bring the following items to the rehearsal:

● copies of your wedding program (order of worship) ● the marriage license ● payment for musicians not already given to the Director of Music and Liturgy ● a copy of the general intercessions (if you have chosen to write your own) ● the unity candle (if you have chosen to use one), or any other symbols you have chosen.

7

For the Wedding Day Rooms are available at both sites for the wedding party. It is strongly recommended that the bride and come dressed to the church. The bride’s room offers few amenities for more than the bride to get dressed there. Whatever the case, please help to maintain the cleanliness and order of the rooms.

◊You are allotted 45 minutes following your wedding ceremony for a receiving line, pictures, and clean-up. We ask this of you in order to respect the time needed to prepare for services that follow.

PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOTAPING GUIDELINES

The celebration of marriage is a sacred moment of rejoicing in prayer, song, and gesture. We understand the desire to record this moment, and so we have studied carefully the different locations from which pictures might be taken without disrupting the assembly’s prayer. Please observe the following guidelines so that the sacred joy of this day can be enjoyed by all.

 Flash photography is only allowed before and after the wedding. Please refrain from using flash photograph during the liturgy.  Before and after the wedding, the church will be open for the taking of pictures (flash allowed). If group photographs are to be taken before the wedding, arrangements should be made with the priest/deacon to ensure that there are no conflicts with other scheduled liturgies.  Please do not interfere with the processional and recessional.  Photography may be taken during the ceremony from the perimeter of the assembly gathered.  Picture taking within the church after the wedding should conclude no later than 45 minutes after the recessional. Respect should always be given to the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.  Additional microphones for video may be placed in the sanctuary only if they are wireless and do not interfere with the sound system of the church and its wireless frequency.

LIGHTING GUIDELINES

 Only the lighting already available in the church may be used. No additional lighting may be brought into the church for the ceremony.

If you have questions, please check with the priest or deacon prior to the service.

8