Thursday, November 23,1995 Page 5

TM POPCORN Thanksgiving Day — The Modern Way Myths of the Lawless, Up in the clouds and on Amtrak rails Vampire in Brooklyn To Grandmother's house we go. No longer through woods and piney trails Criminals Stick Around Not Much to Bite Into In the mud, slush, and the snow. •y LOUIS H. CLARK fought to become a member of "The Elite By Michael Goldberger We're off to see Nana and share the "bird" Specially Wriumfar Vu WntfiiUUadtr md The Times Fleet."Thiswasacrowd who hung around The emblem of Thanksgiving feast. It's strange how the myths of the law- with boys who had automobiles, were football heroes, or had some special ca- One Popcorn, Poor • Two Popcorrw, Fair .Three Popcorns, Good • Four Pogcomg, Excellent But things are now different. Haven't you heard? less and the criminals stick in our memo- ries and our literature. After all, who was chet. At the end of her junior year, she' dominant force who certainly must be Preparing the dinner's the least was inducted and became a member of Neither funny nor frightening, Vam- Of chores that are done this once-a-year day. the most famous crook in history? Robin reckoned with, and yet, in still other in- Hood! They have sanitized him by saying this exclusive social group. She lasted pire in Brooklyn is a pathetically inept stances a sheer embodiment of evil looks No oven's been on since the dawn ihree months. When she quit, I asked her waste of both talent and celluloid. I don't Nana's been out on the golf course — at play that he gave to the poor whatever he stole like the desired goal. All three faces of from the rich. No example of this has "Why?" "They're just boring," she said. think I even care to know what possessed Eddie are without dramatic redemption And no longer looks pale and wan. That's what I finally decided life with funny man to produce come down tous in legend. Perhaps Robin or true entertainment value. The caterer's truck pulls in from the road Hood considered himself and his merry the Butch Cassidys and the Bonnies and such a dastardly bit of unmitigated swill. Clydes would be "Booorrriing! It's not as if audiences smitten by Puzzling is Mr. Murphy's lackluster With hampers of food placed inside men "the poor." yesteryear's tongue-in-cheek Blacula attempt todistill humor from the higgledy- On the other hand, there is the Sheriff piggledy doings. Half-hearted quips and From soup to the nuts and pie-a-la-mode were clamoring for yet another Dracula- To turkey — with drumsticks well tied. of Nottingham. After all, exactly who County 4-H Slates in-the-ghetto send-up. semi-witticisms fall by the wayside as the was this poor maligned guy? Just a cop leaden screenplay blindly barrels its way There isn't a morsel of scrumptious fare The embarrassing pity is, this intelli- doing his duty trying to arrest and hang Holiday Workshop through a miasma of hackneyed plot Omitted this holiday meal the thief from the forest. To make him gence-insulting effort, co-written by Mr. matter. One wonders why thecomicdidn't The Union County 4-H has an- Murphy and directed by horror maven And when we sit down — all bibbed — after prayer, evil in the movies, he took orders from nounced it will hold a holiday work- call on his vast array of hilarious shtick to It's with relish and festive zeal. the treacherous regent, John. I was re- , absurdly insists on taking at least lighten the weight of this bizarre shop for youth, aged 7 and older, on itself seriously. Practically every oppor- minded of this the other night by watch- mess. Yes, Grandmother's house to which we will go ing a cable rerun of Robin Hood with Friday, December I. tunity for satire is curiously avoided. It Won't see cooking or baking, my friend. Those who attend will make fes- doesn't help that a chilling mean- Surely it is too early in the day for Mr. Errol Flynn and Basil Rathbone. The spiritedness pervades the gratuitously Murphy to be playing the Pagliacci card, And pots on the stove will not overflow period of Robin's existence is brought tive ornaments for the holiday sea- violent action. Mr. Craven is of little the clown craving to be taken for prophet. And her back, knees, and fingerswil l bend. forward to Richard'stime. Basil, the most son. Children will have an opportu- assistance. It so, to what end? This flick says virtu- suave of villains, got a sword pushed nity to choose how many and which ally nothing, except that its powerful chief No pans to be scrubbed, no clothes dabbed with "SHOUT' through his body while fighting for his Sadly, Mr. Murphy also fails to use the And a kitchen gleaming and bright. ornaments they wish to make. Orna- investor can produce, for the time being, mate, the treacherous regent, John. ments will range in price from $1 to media opportunity for social comment. Is whatever he wants, without regard to there anything good about this motion No dishwasher stacked or guests helping out, That's the kind of story we have all $3. Only cash will be taken that market tastes, artistic sensitivity, or even No work for the rest of the night. been brought up on and not only us: The picture? Well, the print I saw didn't rip the exerciseof common sense. With Vam- evening, a spokesman for the group once. Yes, Grandmother's job is just to arrange ancient Greeks put wings on Hermes' said. pire in Brooklyn, Mr. Murphy's vainglo- feet and made him the patron god of all The haphazard plot scribblings intro- rious vampire neglects to tap the right The provider who'll come to her home. The workshop will be held at the duce Maximillian, the vampire who thieves. So the same sort of syndrome veins. Yet no one who's there—considers it strange must have been rampant in ancient days Rutgers Cooperative Extension Au- washes ashore in Brooklyn via the Ber- that tradition has "took" wing and flown. muda Triangle. The eerie ship he sails in too. ditorium, 300 North Avenue, East, in on sports a completely dead crew. The Rated R, Vampire in Brooklyn, a Para- For it's being together that makes the day How many of you as kids wanted to be Westfield from 7 to 9 p.m. All chil- police soon ascertain that the expired mount Pictures release, is directed by and bread can be broken in more than one way. pirates? Everybody and his brother of dren must be accompanied by a par- seamen are completely bereft of blood. Wes Craven and stars Eddie Murphy, course. Yet we know that pirates were the ent. Portraying the title character, Mr. and Kadeem Hardison. — FayeDeGoff most treacherous criminals the world has Enrollment is limited to 40 chil- Murphy, as the take-charge Max, wastes Running time: 103 minutes. ever known. dren and their parents. Those persons no time when he persuasively turns a I often wondered when I was kid what who wish to attend should call 654- it would be like to be a member of a real local numbers runner. Julius, into his 9854 to reserve a spot. ghoulish chauffeur. Played well enough Why Did We Have ShopRite Hearings criminal gang like Bonnie and Clyde. by Kadeem Hardison, the sycophantic Five Properties Somehow I never made it beyond imagi- Admission to the pg wastrel rapidly begins to lose limbs and nation. canned-goods article which will be other body parts, as zombies are wont to If Decision Was Made in Private? Change Hands in Town I found out what it was like from, of all donated to a local food bank. do. The old running gag that ensues is The announcement that the Planning the concerns about traffic clogging our Recent real estate transactions are people, my daughter's experience. All For more information, please call tiresome. Board had agreed to let ShopRite build in streets and making our downtown inac- provided by The Westfield Leader in through high school, she longed and 654-9854. Stereotypes groaningly populate the Westfield was adistressing surprise which cessible gone away? Have the concerns cooperation with the office of Tax - scenario as the trite tale of a bloodsucker"* has to leave us all asking the question: about increased pollution, decreased prop- Assessor Robert W. Brennan. in search of his mate creakily unfolds. After two-and-a-half years of hearings, erty values and decreased quality of life The Brooklyn body count rises as multi- what has changed? disappeared? The first set of names or name is , fangedlover boy woos his would-be bride, Have the concerns about ShopRite traf- Has Westfield's $ 1.5 million minimum the seller and the second set of names fighting her tooth and coffin nail for the fic racing through Gumpert Park while cost to remediate North and Central Av- or name is the buyer. LAWRENCE A. WOODRUFF soul she steadfastly guards against his children are playing been resolved? Have enues been forgotten? What was the point The sales prices are those recorded estimable temptations. Taken as a meta- of having two-and-a-half years of meet- by the Register of Deeds at the Union Counsellor at Law phor, this is rather sad: He, the powerful ings, with all kinds of expert testimony, if County Court House complex in pusher; she, the lovelorn ghetto beauty, , Nurses Group to Meet the decision ultimately gets made behind Elizabeth. her virtue, the booty. Monday at 7:45 P.M. closed doors? Julius, the movie s answer to Dracula' s What is the point of another hearing? A An article similar to this one ap- obsequious Renfield, is a jive hustler; The League for Education Ad- legal formality and nothing else? pears weekly. , as the slum landlord vancement forRegistere d Nurses will Does it make any difference that al- A. and N. Lund, to Bernard F. and Wills and Estate Planning where Max crashes, is discomfiting as an hold its next meeting this Monday, most the entirecommunity was opposed? Irene C. May, 249 Scotch Plains Av- Uncle Tom, Miss Angela Bassett as Rita, November 27, at 7:45 p.m. at the All Now Westfield seems to be welcom- enue, $223,000. the object of the vamp dude's obsession, Saints Episcopal Church, located at ing a corporation which has blatantly Real Estate has seen-if-before written all over her sued everyone who opposed it. What a R. and S. Goldstein, to Charles A. 599 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains. courageously independent, lady cop per- grim situation. and HeatherA.Albrecht, 826 Harding sona. But, for what it's worth, Miss The speaker will be the director of Street, $280,000. Divorce and Separation Bassett, who recently won kudos for her nursing at Jersey City Medical Cen- Linda M. Johnson Terner solid effort with Liam Neeson in Strange ter. The program will focus on the WestfleM C. and A. Jacob, to Karl Eric Days, contributes one of this film's few topic, "Blood: What Does It Tell Us? Newman and Maria Luisa Newman. characterizations not entirely deserving Implications for Nurses." • •• 104 Washington Street, $195,000. of derision. The group is a professional organi- D. and L. Palmer, to Thomas J. What writer-actor-producer Mr. Truth often suffers more by 201 South Avenue East zation for registered nurses which the heat of its defenders than Detrano and Marsha N. Lasker, 20S Murphy envisions for himself in the role offers eight programs a year on cur- Clifton Street, $300,000. ofMaximiMaivistipJyjimatterforspecu- rent nursing topics.'Yeafly^dues are ife«ff,i MM? ^fgumentu of ils P. and'J PhilHps.io Fred A. Di Westfield, New Jersey lation. Attaints, it'appears that he wishes 'Opposers. _ to be a Translyvanian sex symbol a la $30 or a guest fee of $8 per program. Cicco and Vivian G&chin, 13 Bur- Frank Langella. Then, it seems like the For further information, please '—William Penn gess Court, $470,000. 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NO SHOPRITE REGIONAL MEGA 407 SOUTH AVENUE, CENTER IN WESTFIELD! A " DEAL" BETWEEN SHOPRITE AND WESTFIELD HAS BEEN MADE TO REVERSE THE FRESH MEAT; Mldwaatarn Pork Loin Root $1.7t Ib. "NO" PLANNING BOARD DECISION OF JUNE 14,1995 Loan Country Stylo Sparo Rlba $1.7flb. PROPOSED MINOR MODIFICATIONS OF THE SITE PLAN DO NOT Frank's Famoua Fraah Ground Chuck $1.7t/lb. or 3 Ib44.it ADDRESS MAJOR CONCERNS VOICED IN PREVIOUS PUBLIC HEARINGS WE ARE NOW TAKINC, ORDERS FOR THE HOLIDA Y SEASON Rib Roasts, Dt.'i.'f Tenderloin, Beef Orisket, Beef Round Roasts, Crown Roasts of Pork or • Gridlock on North Ave Lamb, Fresh & Smoked Hams, Legs of Lamb, Fresh Turkeys & Poultry and In Town FRE8H PRODUCE; QROCERV/DAIRY; • Increased Noise and Asparagus IMS*. Sasltast 1/2 Qal. lea Crsam Romalno Lattuco Tie a hsad Pollution Saodlaaa Ruby Rod Qrapss ....$1.1ilb. Assortad Flavors $2.71 Supor Largo Artlohokaa $1.11 M. Lulgl VHslll Imported Psita 2 lbs Me • Less Safety Rold Gold Pratiats 10 oz. Baga He • Lower Property Values Papal Cola 2 liter (Assorted) $1.2f • 300 Trucks/Week FRESH SEAFOOD: Clovsr Field 100% Apple Cldir 1/2 Qal $1.tf fMountalnalda Star* Onlvl STOREMADE PREPARED FOODS: NonR Atlantic MINIMI riist MIMMMMH A Special Meeting With Public Input Fresh Caught SwortfNah Ststks • $MS Ib. Pappsr Staak $I.Mlb. Tuesday, November 28.1995 at 7:30 PM Llvs Mains Lobatars (1 V< • 1'/.*,) $MIH>, Stsamsd Rica $1.H ib, Llvs Mains Lobstsrs (1 % • 2*,) $7Jt 16, If ntcttsury continutd on Wed. 11/29/95 at 7:30 PM Oriental Stir Fry Vagatabla $3.H ib. Custom Putty Plotters Available: Crudites, Fruit Trays, Westfield Municipal Building, East Broad Street. Shrimp Plutttus, Clieesv PLittots, Dell Platters & S.iiutwlch Plotters COME AND SPEAK-UP BEFORE THE TOWN MAKES A TERRIBLE MISTAKE