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th Volume XXXIII oc http://foolsguild.org Primo 34D 007 Joker

King James Charming, the 007th Quing Lily Lamé, 34D Dita von Tease Gina Gershon Kim Basinger

Hello Fool! Table of ContentS If you’re reading this, then you’re a Fool. 1 QuKings’ Crest Cover Quod erat demonstratum. You could look it up, you’re online. 2 TOC (U R here) The Joker has made the leap - from 3 Foolish Spring 2013 analog to virtual, from printed to online,

4 Inviting Folly Jacqueline Bisset Uma Thurman from paper to plastic, from sublime to 5 Oath of Office ridiculous, and from soup to nuts - for numerous reasons, the most salient being 6 “How We Got Here” th money - moolah, cash, coin, cabbage, lucre, 7 Lamé/007 Intro legal tender, scootie, simoleons, bread, 8 QuKing Pin/OLPS bucks, dough, dinero – you know, the 9 Calendar Fools, plus... stuff from which, by tradition, we Fools 10 Ads & YOU are soon parted. It costs an arm and a leg to deliver this current reigning... precious pamphlet to profuse portals and King Of Fools even with Kneezaparte and Elbozen, we’ve finally run out of limbs. We also believe *King James Charming, in embracing new technology by moving th into the 21st Century, but for those Old The 007 * Farts among us, you may also print this *Quing Lily Lamé, 34D* Dagmar merry missive to pore over and peruse in Mother Folly HKissYo Mama HShannon Wade solitary splendor while passing stools and editors of this humble edition: emitting gas perched upon your personal William Q. Barrett porcelain pondering pedestal. Jim Kelly, Tom Rachal, Heidi B. We’d also mail it to you if you so Art/Article Mavens: Steve Bartel, command, but you must contact us to let Wim Griffith, Craig & Chris, us know that is your wish, and it wouldn’t Frivilous, W.Q. Barrett, Rover hurt to cross our palm with silver. Submit art, writing, corrections OR $19 per year will do nicely. to change or add a Joker address: PayPal: http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm [email protected] Of course, you’d have to be a Fool to pay for what you can get for free, but we proved Foolander: Michael Kember that in the first paragraph. [email protected] The Fools Guild http://foolsguild.org 8967 Wonderland Avenue King/Quing Pins & Donations - PayPal:

LA, CA 90046-1853 http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Phyllis Dietrichson Barbara Stanwyck Stanwyck Barbara Dietrichson Phyllis

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Diana Rig Solitaire Honey Ryder Jane Seymour

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--Rover “YAAAAAAY……!” back, thrown head

with say, would Frog the Kermit As perspective. foolish a from

life celebrating of year another through souls foolish of bunch

slightly-worn-out-but-still-happy this leading of responsibility

bone-chilling the accept to up rose king(s) new and down stepped king

old as (aw!) awe with witnessed and high, held banners silly lanes,

dusty the along paraded We Faire. Renaissance the at 34D Lame’ & 007

Charming of Team King 2013-14 the to off Crown the handing before

Gypsy RoseLeeNatalieWouldn’t lame-duckiness of month a enjoyed Kneezaparte King that, With

effort. of minimum

a with Fools of Feast delightful massive, a throw can still we past, years

of work-parties long & themes elaborate the without and named),

be not shall (which Clubhouse Glendale our of loss the Despite

ourselves!

entertaining at GOOD SO are We jokes. bad and juggling fire-eaters,

ukuleles, usual the plus dance-break; nose-crumhorn one-nostril with

complete Company” Good With “Pastime singing Ensemble Briton own

our marionettes, always-uproarious Wim’s featured show vaudeville

rousing A realness. pot-luck yummy of mountains and crew; & Beard

Richard by created fireworks, floral like arrangements, flower towering

envious; Hare March mad the make would that 60 for arrangement table

rambling a scarves; festive of ropes with festooned were Altadena in

Lodge Man Green of gardens The foolery. – it! guessed you – of theme

traditional a with feast foolish a for clan foolish the gathered Gina LolaLasagne Ursula Undress Ursula Gina LolaLasagne Kneezaparte

King 2013 30 March Saturday on year, This own. our uniquely event an

– Fools of Feast the holiday annual our is Fling final King’s Every

By Roving Reporter Rover Reporter Roving By

Fools Spring Forward 2013 Forward Spring Fools Jessica Rabbit Zsa Zsa Betty Boop Betty Page Betty Boop Betty Zsa Zsa Rabbit Jessica Delores Del Rio

nviting Folly Now here is the thing… you might want to be King Like Kneesapart, whom I’m addressing, Who said he was ready, but Paula and Freddy Sophie Tucker Fooled him and kept him from guessing The scepter he’d win, When, with Elbowzen He would lead us a merry procession Then discover new tools for our family of Fools Though Fools we have loved are now gone To enhance all its joyful expression; Their capers all ended, while new Fools He brought us new tools - befriended Put The Joker online - Will help us to yet carry on. And this family of Fools, Our tradition, you see Is doing just fine, Is happy and gay, As we witness this joyful expression. Which I hope you’ll all be Each one, every day His puppetry’s part of this potentate’s art, And Folly shall reign from now on. It informs and instills his perspective; He attaches his strings to sticks and to rings For a Fool’s not afraid to fall on his face, And wherewith he enables directive To tell a bad joke in dubious taste, Of Sybil and Eleanor, Shokti and many more, To dress up in motley Characters teeming with laughter: when out on the town A satyr; a fairy - Wonderful! Merry! - Or perhaps all in leopard Who happily live everafter, while wearing a crown. Through wit and with skill In tales that he tells JPK 3/29/2013 Which make the heart fill Mata Hari Lily Von Schtupp When it all turns out well And they happily live everafter.

Now let us go forth, to south and to north, Let’s frolic with foolish abandon! Let’s caper and shout, and let it hang out, Let’s drink ‘til we’re no longer standin’! We’ll continue to thrive; we’re glad we’re alive,

Tom & Jim Silhouettes by Jordan Monsell

www.jordanmonsell.com

g http://Foolsguild.or Venus Creamus Venus 4 Four (as in 34D) 5 Five 5

Raquel Marlene Helen of Troy

g http://Foolsguild.or JPK - 4/25/2013 4/25/2013 -

Now aka: Thirty-Four-D. aka: Now And we all call her Lily her call all we And

Cher MadonnaDivine She’s really quite frilly quite really She’s

For he’s double-naught Seven to me. to Seven double-naught he’s For

That he’s her Prince Charming Prince her he’s That

We find it disarming it find We

And the other is Lily Lamé. Lily is other the And

This first Fool is James is Fool first This

Ann-Margret Sophia Brigitte Sophia Ann-Margret

Are two foolish names. foolish two Are

Right here on this very Fine Day. Fine very this on here Right

Delivered by Me by Delivered

By Royal Decree Royal By

(at the Coronation of this year’s King and Quing) and King year’s this of Coronation the (at

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anna as QE1 as anna by Delivered

Oath Of Office Of Oath Jean Harlow Cleopatra Elizabeth Taylor Taylor Elizabeth Cleopatra Harlow Jean 6 Six 6

Lauren Bacall Lena Horne

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Thisbee, enjoyed by your new King and Quing and a bevy (flock?) of fellow Fools. fellow of (flock?) bevy a and Quing and King new your by enjoyed Thisbee,

and the Guild of St. Helenas, who also offered a command performance of Pyramus & & Pyramus of performance command a offered also who Helenas, St. of Guild the and

After the coronation ceremony, the Fools enjoyed fyne food and drink hosted by Merlin Merlin by hosted drink and food fyne enjoyed Fools the ceremony, coronation the After

January 26, 2014 at the Oyster House Saloon in Studio City. Studio in Saloon House Oyster the at 2014 26, January

August 25 at the San Antonio Winery in LA for a wine tasting from 12-3; and finally, (3) (3) finally, and 12-3; from tasting wine a for LA in Winery Antonio San the at 25 August

before a showing of fellow Fool Daniel Rover Singer’s new play, A Perfect Likeness; (2) (2) Likeness; Perfect A play, new Singer’s Rover Daniel Fool fellow of showing a before

Wade. Our new Mother Folly has several frolics planned: (1) July 28 for a brunch just just brunch a for 28 July (1) planned: frolics several has Folly Mother new Our Wade.

Mother Folly, MamaMia, Judy Kory anointed a new Mother Folly, KissYo Mama, Shannon Shannon Mama, KissYo Folly, Mother new a anointed Kory Judy MamaMia, Folly, Mother

now by your Quing Lily Lamé, 34D. 34D. Lamé, Lily Quing your by now

not to run this organization?), and most importantly, the King of Fools crown, proudly worn worn proudly crown, Fools of King the importantly, most and organization?), this run to not

passed along included the King Manual (you mean somebody actually wrote down how how down wrote actually somebody mean (you Manual King the included along passed

and a host of other accoutrements of office to your new King and Quing. The items The Quing. and King new your to office of accoutrements other of host a and King Kneezeaparte, with the help of Kueen Elbowzen, passed along the Royal Sceptre Sceptre Royal the along passed Elbowzen, Kueen of help the with Kneezeaparte, King

Lily LaméLickitySplitSassyAliCat

Lamé, 34D, aka J. Craig Williams and Chris Bartley Williams. Williams. Bartley Chris and Williams Craig J. aka 34D, Lamé,

- and crowned your new King of Fools, King James Charming the 007th and Quing Lily Lily Quing and 007th the Charming James King Fools, of King new your crowned and -

wonderful “Oath of Office” poem - written by Official Court Poet Jim Kelly (see page 5) 5) page (see Kelly Jim Poet Court Official by written - poem Office” of “Oath wonderful

and Bonnie Morgan and others. Through a miracle, Queen Elizabeth administered the the administered Elizabeth Queen miracle, a Through others. and Morgan Bonnie and

everyone that didn’t matter. We had stage performances by Official Court Jesters Gary Gary Jesters Court Official by performances stage had We matter. didn’t that everyone

Foolishness abounded and the coronation ceremony featured David Springhorn introducing introducing Springhorn David featured ceremony coronation the and abounded Foolishness

irony meter.) irony

their new King and Quing. (Side note here: check the last sentence again and test your your test and again sentence last the check here: note (Side Quing. and King new their

At the end of that path, those fools in attendance thought it wise to crown two fools as as fools two crown to wise it thought attendance in fools those path, that of end the At

washed over the paraders. the over washed

parade that passed by on the way to the coronation. Waves of love from the onlookers onlookers the from love of Waves coronation. the to way the on by passed that parade

from every booth and customer, who turned out to enjoy the colorful and loud Fools Guild Guild Fools loud and colorful the enjoy to out turned who customer, and booth every from

The parade wound its way through the merchant streets of Faire, generating excitement excitement generating Faire, of streets merchant the through way its wound parade The

the path to the Faire’s Rose Stage, where the reigns/reins would be exchanged. exchanged. be would reigns/reins the where Stage, Rose Faire’s the to path the

crazy paraders sought out the new King-and-Quing-in-Waiting. They were found along along found were They King-and-Quing-in-Waiting. new the out sought paraders crazy

personality and end-of-her-reign) Mother Folly Judy Kory. As they left the Maypole, the the Maypole, the left they As Kory. Judy Folly Mother end-of-her-reign) and personality

Puppet King and Queen Elbows-in, followed by (also outgoing, and yes we mean both: both: mean we yes and outgoing, (also by followed Elbows-in, Queen and King Puppet

Babearella Maderella Vampyra Raquel Vampyra Maderella Babearella the Kneezaparte King outgoing bearing tow in Shame of Cart the with began parade The

of all colors, shapes and sizes. and shapes colors, all of

at the Maypole erupted with brightly colored foolish banners and Fools in jester costumes costumes jester in Fools and banners foolish colored brightly with erupted Maypole the at

California Renaissance Faire. As the parade got underway, the 200-strong host of Fools Fools of host 200-strong the underway, got parade the As Faire. Renaissance California

parade started at the ribbon-bound Maypole in the midst of the 51st Annual Southern Southern Annual 51st the of midst the in Maypole ribbon-bound the at started parade

On April 27th, under blue skies and with a cool breeze at our backs, this year’s Fools Guild Guild Fools year’s this backs, our at breeze cool a with and skies blue under 27th, April On

All’s News That’s Madness, or How We Got Here Got We How or Madness, That’s News All’s Elvira Barbarella Boobarella Boobarella Barbarella Elvira Annie Lennox Hedy Lamar Madeline Kahn

Where We Are Going, or The Three-party Circus Just about a month before this year’s parade, the Ex Kings had assembled and chosen their next victims to run the Fools Guild for a year. Craig and Chris accepted, and what a year we have planned. There are many new Fools who have migrated from Faire to join our group, and we’ll all get to meet and enjoy each other for three parties this year: • Halloween, October 31 (a Thursday), with the costume and decor theme “Cowboys and Aliens.” If you’re not sure, rent “Rango” for costume ideas. Otherwise, do what all Fools do: pull something from the back of your closet. Location will likely be a Western-themed establishment that we hope to alienate. Stay tuned. We hope to pull off a Gangham-style dance number for this party. • New Year’s, December 31 (a Tuesday),with the costume and decor theme “The Bond

Party.” Come as your favorite character or future character from any James Bond Valerie Perrine Carol Doda movie. Location sounds like the Mayflower in Burbank, but stay tuned. • Feast of Fools, April 1, 2014 (a Tuesday) with the theme of “Once Upon a Time.” Think any fairy tale character. Any. All. We’re thinking about taking over a miniature golf course, but who knows. Stay tuned to Facebook, the Joker, Foolander and website! If you attend all three parties separately, the cost will be $90.00, but for those who are budget-minded (or just want the highly fashionable and future collectable Fellowship Foundry King/Quing Pin) 2013-2014 King/Quing Pins will be available from Michael Kember for the highly discounted price $69.00, which entitles you to attend all three parties and at the same time. Available at the next Privy Council Meeting, August 11 -- see calendar page 9. Save $21.00 off the list price. What a bargain hunter you are! We’ve had two Privy Council meetings (aka party planning sessions) so far, and all Miss Piggy Pussy Galore OctoPussy Fools are welcome to attend to help plan the parties and assist with the set-up and tear- down for each of the parties. We always need volunteers, so please contact Quing Lily Lamé, 34D at [email protected] or 951-533-5395. NEXT Privy Council Meeting: August 11 Chez Neezaparte & Elbowzen... details on Pgs 8 & 9 and on website ... Come help plan the Halloween Party = Cowboys vs. Aliens! Finally, we’re considering a Rove to the Northern California Renaissance Faire at Casa de Fruta on October 5-7, where the female Fools can enjoy GiggleFest and the male Fools can enjoy the Bohemian Groove. [email protected] or 951-533-5395 for Gate List, reservations deadline for camping at the Faire site: September 15. For updates: FOOLANDER, Fools Guild Facebook Page and http://foolsguild.org Yours in foolishness, King James Charming the 007th and Quing Lily Lamé, 34D *Subscribe to the Foolander or the Foolsguild List through the website: http://foolsguild.org/Foolander.htm

7 Seven (as in 007th) 8 Eight 8

Demi Moore Angelina Jolie

Joan Hotchkis RULES! Hotchkis Joan

Poet with a Dirty Mind... Dirty a with Poet

Clever as the Fools, the as Clever

Pretty as a Picture, a as Pretty

Lee MerriwetherJoanHotchkisJaneFonda

OUR Lady of Perpetual Storage: Perpetual of Lady

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WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!! SUPPLIES WHILE Available now - - now Available

April 1st, 2014 1st, April Party, Fools of Feast The

December 31, 2013, “The Bond Party” AND AND Party” Bond “The 2013, 31, December

October 31, 2013 “Cowboys vs. Aliens”, Aliens”, vs. “Cowboys 2013 31, October

to admission receive also will You

all... not that’s But Crest... 007th/34D

from our King/Quing, depicting the Personal Personal the depicting King/Quing, our from Beautiful hand cast Pewter Pin/Pendant Pewter cast hand Beautiful

Faye Dunaway Sally Rand Faye Dunaway For a mere $69, you can acquire this acquire can you $69, mere a For

bring snacks bring meeting, August 11! August meeting,

Lakewood, CA 90712 CA Lakewood, Also at the Privy Council Council Privy the at Also

m foolsguild.org/Donate.ht 3314 Country Club Dr. Club Country 3314

Chez Neezaparte & Elbozen & Neezaparte Chez PayPal Pin orders: Pin PayPal

Sunday, August 11, 6pm 11, August Sunday,

Privy Council meeting: Council Privy

buy your QuKing Pin at the the at Pin QuKing your buy

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King & Quing’s Royal Party Pin Party Royal Quing’s & King

PayPal Pin orders: Pin PayPal Ann Sothern Charlize Theron Theron Charlize Sothern Ann Rita Hayworth Storm Large

Foolish 2013/14 Calendar Northern California Renaissance Faire Casa de Fruta September 14 - October 13, 2013 http://norcalrenfaire.com FOOLS’ INVASION: October 5/6, 2013, Casa de Fruta Weekend Passes and Camping available For Fools Must Reserve by September 15, 2013: [email protected] or 951-533-5395

Privy Council meeting: Sunday, August 11, 6pm @ Chez Neezaparte & Elbozen: Bette Midler Tina Turner 3314 Country Club Dr., Lakewood, CA 90712 (bring snacks) Look for the NEXT Cyber Joker in September http://foolsguild.org/NextParty.htm Sign up on the website for the FOOLANDER! Cowboys vs. Aliens October 31, 2013 NYE “The Bond Party” December 31, 2013 Feast of Fools April 1st, 2014

Maria Montes KissYo Mama Frolics: Aug. 25, 12-3 San Antonio Winery, LA Wine Tasting... & Restaurant January 26, 2014, Oyster House Saloon Studio City, First ‘14 Frolic for Fools

Silhouettes by Jordan Monsell 5325 Radford Ave., Apt. 8 Valley Village, CA 91607 818-433-5388 www.jordanmonsell.com https://www.facebook.com/SilhouettesByJordan

Check out pictures of our Retail Store Little Egypt Lily Langtry Langtry Lily Egypt Little

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Michelle Pfeiffer Halle Berry Eartha Kitt Julie Newmar Newmar Julie Kitt Eartha 2 OZ. The Fools Guild STAMP! 8967 Wonderland Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90046-1852 http://Foolsguild.org/contact.htm

Fools have nothing but Love for:

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The Muckenthaler Cultural Center 1201 West Malvern Avenue Fullerton, California 92833 714-738-6595 [email protected] http://themuck.org

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10 Ten