W E E K E N D LIFEPULSE 6 MARCH 3 - 4, 2007 CHINA DAILY Brevity is the soul of wit TOP 10 HUMOROUS MOBILE PHONE SHORT-MESSAGE NEW YEAR GREETINGS

1. May good luck be like a landmine that 6. Weather forecast: The New Year will you constantly trip over; May bad luck see a rainstorm of wealth, a hurricane be like a meteor shower that never rains of fortune, clouds of bliss, dews of love, upon you; May wealth be like garbage frosts of friendship, snow of peace, and that can be picked up anywhere; And the eternal sunshine of joy. may happiness be like fl ies that you cannot wave away. 7. When paying a visit to me on New Year’s Day, I’ll send my brother to pick 2. You’re arrested on New Year’s Eve. you up. For the sake of identifi cation, Your crime: 1. Too nice to your friends; 2. please hold two cartons of choice Have a youthful face and a radiant smile. cigarettes in one hand and two bottles of The court has ordered you to be my Maotai in the other. lifetime friend. No appeal! 8. New Year is here. For the sake of 3. You fi lthy hog! When I have money, environmental protection, please refrain I’ll use French wine to fl ush the toilet, from using paper cards. But you can use dollar bills to light cigarettes, use write on a 100-yuan note and mail it to 999 roses for your bath, hire a movie me. I thank you for saving our earth, and star as your maid, and then send you to a wish you a Happy New Year! slaughterhouse. Happy New Year! 9. On New Year’s night, I dream of you 4. My New Year resolution: 1. Build an and wish you Happy New Year. Then I elevator for Mount Qomolangma; 2. sneeze and wake up, knowing you’re Plaster white tiles on the Great Wall; 3. thinking of me, too. Now, where’s my Add a reverse shift to the aircraft; 4. Put red envelope of laisee? a glove on the fl y; 5. Put a hygiene mask on the mosquito; 6. Feed you. 10. If I had a million yuan, I’ll give you Happy New 999,999.90. But I don’t have a million, Year... And 5. There’ll be a meteor shower on New so I’ll just use the 10 cents to send you a send me your Year’s Eve, and there’ll be a fl ying pig short message, wishing you all the best greetings by streaking across the sky. And I’ll be in in the Year of the Pig. mail on a 100- warm sleep. But you, you’ll get all the yuan note! attention. Compiled and translated by China Daily Cartoon by Bi Chuanguo LISTINGS Place: Red Theater, 44 Xingfu Dajie, Place: Haidian Theater, Haidian will start in Beijing. The frizzy charm of the Dunhuang murals. The cooperative song with Bjork, Oh, Workers’ Cultural Palace of Chong- haired maestro is famous for his curling brushstrokes, the religious My City, is a hit in Europe. K.K fi rst STAGE wen District Tel: 6405-4842 cheesy jazz takes on old time images and the russet colors tell a performed in Shanghai during the classics. His albums, includ- story of the Silk Road. Shanghai International Art Festival Big big stars: Directed by Yang Into the ring: The Chinese ing Breathless, Miracles and Living as a hermit, Liu wanted in 2005. Ting, a group of DJs from Music Acrobatics Group, established Moment have topped contempo- to reconnect with his own mind. Three songs of the new album More Radio of China National Radio will in 1950, will put on a perform- rary music charts. Choosing a forest as the place to live Travel Songs that K.K and Eiriks are perform a play called Big, Big, Big ance that includes traditional Time: 7:30pm, March 31 and create, the process of painting recording in the studios in Shanghai Star, a Chinese adaptation of Ken acrobatics, circus, magic, old Place: Beizhan Theater, Xizhi- is cruel but the art itself is fi ne and is also a highlight of this concert. Ludwig’s Lend Me a Tenor. Pop sing- Beijing folk play plus more. menwai Dajie, beautiful. ers like Flowers will also perform. The show blends the art of Tel: 6835-4455 Time:11am-6pm, Time: 7:30 pm, March 7-11 music, dance, local opera and until March 5 Place: Poly Theater, Dongsi Shitiao martial arts into acrobatics. EXHIBITIONS Place: XYZ Gal- Tel: 6506-5343, 6506-5345 Time: 7:30 pm, daily lery, 4 Jiuxianqiao Place: Tiandi Theater, Dongsi Picasso and beyond: To com- Lu, Chaoyang Stand up and sing: The University Shitiao, 100 metres north memorate the 10th anniversary District of Arkansas Inspirational Singers’ of Poly Theater, Chaoyang of Peter Ludwig’s art donation Tel: 8459-9299 will bring their 2007 China Tour to District Through the eyes of children: The Beijing to the National Art Museum of the capital. Founded in 1977, the cho- Tel: 6416-9893 World Art Museum is presenting a group China, a special exhibition will Taking his time: rus is known for its power of expres- show of children’s paintings. The exhibition be held. Using his IT sion and punchy performances. Mad dance of a genius: For features at least 150 paintings done individu- Titled Concept and Reality, the skills, Lin Junt- Its Gospel Feast breaks the tradi- the fi rst time, contemporary ally or collectively by a group of Chinese boys 57 exhibits span a period from ing explores the tion of static stage performances by dance genius Vaslav Nijinsky’s and girls aged between 3 and 8. the 1960s-90s when Western theme of time and introducing dancing. The perform- tragic life will be staged in The exhibition is organized by the Artistic art evolved from an exploration space. Light and ers sing as they stand, sit, walk and Beijing on March 10. Committee for Children’s Art Education, of free style and technique. shade are used to dance. Born in 1889, Nijinsky is under the Chinese Artists Association. It is Exhibits include Picasso’s create a three-di- Time: 7:30pm, March 23 regarded as a legend in the the fruits of an extra-curricular art education abstract portrait, Roy Lichten- mensional effect Place: Beijing Concert Hall, 1 history of dance. With his program started by the Beijing Children’s Art stein’s three-dimensional still and multi-layered Beixinhuajie, Xicheng District extraordinary technique and Education Studio two years ago to cultivate life, Ralph Goings’s realist scene. Based on A comparison between East and West: Two Tel: 6605-7006 innovative choreography, he an interest in creative works in young oil paintings and Barbara his solid knowl- exhibitions of selected Chinese “meticulous detail’’ mesmerized and shocked the children. Nemitz’s seascape scenery. edge of literature, paintings and Li Jisen’s oil works are highlights of Legend of kungfu: This show tells a ballet world of the early 1900s Time: 9 am–5 pm, until March 5 Time: 9am-5pm, until March 4 Lin combines his the Beijing Wan Fung Art Gallery this month. story of the journey of a young monk and was regarded as the “god Place: Beijing World Art Museum, China Mil- Place: National Art Mu- philosophy with The fi rst exhibition examines how modern artists from childhood to kungfu master. of modern dance”. lennium Monument, A9 Fuxinglu seum of China, 1 Wusi Dajie, his work. He uses have inherited the traditions of paintings with me- Overcoming many temptations he Based on The Diaries of Vaslav Tel: 6851-3322 Dongcheng District detailed lines and ticulous details and bring a new look to the genre. fi nally reaches his sacred goal of Nijinsky, the City Contempo- Tel: 6401-7076 color blocks to Time: 12 am-6 pm, Monday; 10 am-6 pm, Tuesday to enlightenment through hard work. rary Dance Company (CCDC), create fresh and Sunday, March 3-18 Exquisite kung fu performances, from Hong Kong, will use dance to CONCERTS Blooming marvellous: Zhou Chun- clear images. Place: 136 Nanchizi Dajie, Dongcheng District breath-taking acrobatics, delicate explore the inner world of the genius ya’s solo oil painting show, called Lin’s video works Tel: 6523-3320 costumes, together with a good stage when he was on the outer edge of Seasonal concert: The China Blooming Stories, unveils a garden also tap into the setting. reason. Philharmonic Symphony Orches- brimming with bright colors and concept of time, Time: 7:30 pm, daily Time: 7:30pm, March 10 tra’s seasonal concert includes such lively tones. using the subject matter of water, Time: 7:30 pm, March 3 programs as Max Bruch’s Violin Infl uenced by the New-Expression- an ancient city, forest and falling Place: Shanghai Grand Theater, 300 Concerto No 1 in G minor and objects. Renmin Dadao Gustav Mahler’s Symphony Time: 10am-6pm, until March 4 Tel: 021-6474-2140 No 5 in C Sharp Minor. Place: Dimensions Art Centre, 4 Time: 7:30pm, March 4 Jiuxianqiao Lu, Chaoyang District Classics: Renowned conductor Place: Poly Theater, Dongsi Tel: 6435-9665 Ronald Zollman will conduct the Shitiao, Chaoyang District Shanghai Symphony Orchestra to Tel: 6506-5345 Solo show: Liu Yonggang, a present two concerts at the Shanghai Berlin-based Chinese artist, is Concert Hall. No strings attached: The holding his one man show of The fi rst concert will encompass puppet show Fairy Tale of paintings, calligraphic works and Berlioz’s masterpiece Symphonie Spring includes stories such sculptures at the National Art Fantastique and also works by as Little Red Hat and Two Fat Museum of China. The exhibi- Beethoven and Haydn. Hens. tion features at least 130 works Time: 7:30 pm, March 3 Time: 7:30pm, March 3-18 the Mongolian ethnic artist has Place: 523 Yan’an Donglu Place: China Puppet Theater, Wonders from Pompeii: More than 480 created drawing inspirations from Tel: 021-6386-2836 A1 Anhuali, Chaoyang cultural relics unearthed from the ancient ancient Chinese calligraphic art. District city of Pompeii is displayed in Beijing. Time: 9 am-5 pm, until March 4 A creative treat: Chinese pipa per- Tel: 6425-4798 Murals, sculptures, paintings, jewels, orna- Place: 1 Wusi Dajie, Dongcheng former Wu Man will collaborate with ments and daily utensils record the moment District the Kronos Quartet from the United Lunar tunes: The China when the city was destroyed by volcanic ash Tel: 6403-3500 States to present country music and National Oriental Song & in AD 79. It is only in the last 200 years that pieces from Ghost. Kronos Quartet, a Dance Ensemble will hold archaeological discovery has disclosed the New year exhibit and quiz: Grammy award-winner, has released their regular Lantern Festival secrets of this city. An exhibition of couplets and more than 40 CDs. concert to celebrate the last Time: 9 am-5 pm, until May 7 lanterns is running in Jingshan Time: 7:30 pm, March 18 day of the Spring Festival, Place: Beijing World Art Museum, China Park, with a quiz focusing on Place: Shanghai Concert Hall, 523 the 15th day of the fi rst lunar Millennium Monument, A9 Fuxinglu knowledge about Chinese New Yan’an Donglu month. Tel: 6851-3322 Year. 2007 is the Year of Pig. Tel: 021-6386-2836 Yang Chunlin will conduct. Jiang Dong Time: daily until March 4 Time: 7:30pm, March 4 Place: , 44 Jingshan EXHIBITION Place: Beizhan Theater, Xizhi- Xijie, Xicheng District Korean craze: The exhibition menwai Dajie, Haidian District ism movement of German art, Zhou Tel: 6404-4071 “Diversity in Form and Thought” Tel: 6835-4455 employs pure and strong colors to will display recent works by 100 top present abstract images and fl ow- SHANGHAI South Korean artists. Some critics Ode to a master: The China ers. The composition is somewhat have said South Korea exerts a great National Symphony Orchestra will strange, with a male nude posing in CONCERTS infl uence on Asia’s pop culture. The Inner voice: Through his unique style, Yin Jun powerfully expresses the mark the 100th anniversary of twisted forms and plants in distorted show explores the reasons for such emotions of our increasingly demanding and materialistic society. The the death of Edvard Grieg, with a shapes. Greetings from Iceland: Kristjan infl uence. anger and frustration of the oppressed and weak is captured tellingly in concert performance. Shi Shucheng Time: 9am-4pm, until March 22 Kristjansson (K.K) and Maggi Eiriks Time: 9 am-5 pm, March 7-16 the drawings of childlike faces. will conduct. Place: Today Art Museum, Jindian from Iceland will present their fi rst Place: Duolun Museum of Modern Time: 9 am-7 pm, until March 7 Time: 7:30pm, March 9 Garden, 9 Wenhuiyuan Beilu, Haid- joint concert in Shanghai featuring Art, 27 Duolun Lu Place: Beijing Central Art Gallery & Cultural Venue, 02 Riverville Square, Place: Beijing Concert Hall, 1 Beixin- ian District Blues and Jazz. K.K has dominated Tel: 021-6587-5996 1 District One, Tianzhu, (Airport Expressway, Jing Shun/ huajie, Xicheng District. Tel: 5862-1100 ext 142 the music scene in Iceland since Yanglin exit) Tel: 6605-7006 the 1980s. His compositions cover To comment or offer tips, e-mail Tel: 6450-8483, 6450-8646 Snippets of the Silk Road: Liu a wide range of categories includ- [email protected] Pop & jazz: Kenny G’s China tour Yuan’s oil paintings detail the ing Blues, Jazz and Country. His