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T W E E K LY “I am not the editor ofR a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.” – Mark Twain Volumelume ?,38, Number Number ? 8 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 OctoberMonth Day 14,, 2003Year

Inside Task Force on the Arts Produces Draft Report RYAN CARR UMBC has prided itself on its dramatically, and continues to This concern led to the Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ability to offer students a grow. This has raised concerns convening of the UMBC Task focused yet well-rounded edu- among the faculty that students Force on the Arts in January UMBC is trying to reaffirm cation. In recent years, howev- may be losing sight of the cor- 2002. Eighteen months later, its commitments to the arts. er, the number of science and nerstone of any well-rounded the Task Force has produced a As an Honors University, engineering majors has grown education: the arts. see TASK FORCE, page 2 News...... page 1 SGA drafts new constitution and STARS sees the end of its days.

Opinion.....page 9 Coming Out Day takes the spotlight, while the humani- tites at UMBC slip into oblivion.

Features.....page 18 Get to know this year’s Retriever Weekly Staff.

Anita Fields / Retriever Weekly Staff Rock Band Strokes UMBC: On Sunday night, hundreds of students, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz came to the Retriever Activities Center to rock out with The Strokes.

Sports...... page 28 Baltimore: A Treasure Trove for Archaeology Men’s soccer plays practice among the poorer class of week. tough against CHRISSY GREGG Applied Anthropology from people and people of color to bury Reed was quoting [i] The Vermont and Cross Retriever Weekly Staff Writer University of Maryland, College their deceased relations and acquain- Baltimore Daily Repository[/i] Country runs at Park, is a professor of World Government officials in tances in several of the streets and regarding conditions in the city dur- Goucher College. Archaeology here at UMBC and is Baltimore were outraged and dis- alleys of said town,” said professor ing the late eighteenth century. the director of the Baltimore Center gusted that there had developed “…a Esther Doyle Reed at a lecture last Reed, who has a Master’s Degree in see BALTIMORE, page 4 Also check out: college news...... page 2 world news...... page 3 Commons Hosts classifieds...... page 35 Free Sex Games four day forecast Tuesday: chance of thunder- storms, low 52, high 68 JOE MAHER Harriet Smith, co-president of UMBC’s Freedom Alliance, Wednesday: partly cloudy, low Retriever Weekly Staff Writer 45, high 67 explained her motivation to work The Freedom Alliance, coor- with the school to promote sexual Thursday: partly cloudy, low dinating with the University health awareness. “Sexual Heath 43, high 67 Health Services (UHS), sponsored is a subject that is often neglected,” Friday: partly cloudy, low 42, a round of “Sexual Jeopardy” in Smith explained. “We decided to high 60 the Commons Cabaret, during free get involved with other campus hour Wednesday. Following the organizations and utilize the Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff presentation, the UHS offered free, resources that students have access Sex is But a Game: Freedom Alliance and UHS sponsored walk in HIV/AIDS testing for the to.” “Sexual Jeopardy” in the Commons Cabaret. duration of the day. see JEOPARDY, page 7 Page 2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 14, 2003

BehindtheScenes UMBC Professor Pursues the Meaning of Life

College News RYAN DORRILL Another Rise in Tuition Retriever Weekly Staff Writer his calling in life. Here at school he teaches classes Proposed in Md. Steve Yalowitz started out studying such as Philosophy 100, Philosophy of Dr. Yalowitz, a professor of philos- music at Oberland College, but found it Language, and his favorite: a course on ophy for five years at UMBC, is a man wasn’t quite right for him. He had free will and determinism. Whether University System Panel Gives who gets paid to try and answer life’s always been interested in abstract ques- students are looking to explore philos- Preliminary Approval to Increases difficult questions (as well as propose tions, so he started taking courses in his- ophy for the first time or delve into Ranging Beyond 11% them to students). What is life? What tory and religion, which naturally led deep metaphysical debates, Dr. (Washington Post) Leaders of the happens when we die? What role does him to philosophy. In time, he got his Yalowitz can show them the way. Maryland public university system pro- our mind play in the process? PhD in Philosophy at Columbia posed another round of substantial Quick Questions These questions are not of the type University and moved out to California tuition increases yesterday, including that typically come up over lunch; on to teach at University of California at some higher than 11 percent, in prepara- 1. If you could have any super the contrary, they appear in mind bog- San Diego. After teaching there for a tion for state budget cuts they expect to gling movies like “The Matrix” or long while, he moved back to the East power, what would it be? linger through the 2004-05 academic books like Descartes “Meditations on coast because he generally likes it better “Sometimes I’d like to be able to year. First Philosophy.” Though some stu- here. read other people’s thoughts, but it The newest increases would come dents may think about these questions, “I’m a New Yorker at heart,” he would be creepy.” After more consid- on top of a series of tuition shifts that good answers are hard to come by. Dr. says of his home town. He didn’t like eration he remarked, “ I’d just like to raised the cost of education over the past Yalowitz and the character Morpheus that the West coast cities are more be able to dunk a basketball.” year by as much as 21 percent at some actually have a lot in common, in that spread out, making it necessary to drive campuses. And officials warned that they they challenge young minds to seek everywhere, though he did like the fact 2. What’s your favorite movie? may have to raise tuition even higher — these answers, both through their own that time seems to move more slowly “Groundhog Day is one of the best perhaps by an additional 10 percent — if experiences and reflecting on ideas of out there. He also liked the beautiful philosophy-related movies.” their requests for more funding fall flat in the past. natural landscape out west. He used to Annapolis. As Dr. Yalowitz puts it, the Matrix mountain climb and ski when he had the 3. If you were in the Matrix, “We cannot allow our institutions to “raises important questions about the opportunity. move into mediocrity,” system would you take the blue pill or relation of our mind to reality.” These Nowadays he spends a lot of time Chancellor William E. Kirwan told the the red pill? questions of the mind are his favorite, listening to classical and jazz music or Board of Regents finance committee dur- “I would take the red pill, though I but he had to take his own journey playing basketball when he’s not teach- ing a meeting at Towson University. might regret it later.” down the rabbit hole before he found ing. The committee gave preliminary approval to the new tuition increases, which would range between 8 and 10 percent for in-state students at most insti- tutions. The full Board of Regents is like- ly to approve the rates next week. “A Real Action-Item” Found in Art Yesterday’s action comes amid a growing debate over how much the state should be expected to underwrite the cost from TASK FORCE, page 1 members of the Task Force are con- UMBC. The program would add $12 a of public higher education. Several stu- 160-page Draft Report. Intended to cerned that, by the time that new build- year to the mandatory fees students pay, dents attended the meeting to protest “Develop long- and short-term strategies ing materializes, UMBC’s current facili- but would give every student $75 a year comments made last week by Regent for substantially heightening the aware- ties will have already done their dam- worth of free tickets to plays, concerts, Richard E. Hug, who suggested that the ness and appreciation of the Arts at age. and other art-related events on campus. system consider doubling tuition over the UMBC,” the Draft Report contains rec- Many students, including some While adding to the already long list next five or six years. ommendations on a wide range of top- present at the meeting, have voiced of mandatory fees may seem like a big Hug is a close ally of Gov. Robert L. ics, from student engagement, to fund- complaints that there is no space avail- deal, O’Dell pointed out that those fees are Ehrlich Jr. (R), but the governor has dis- ing, to external relations. able in which to practice their instru- generally hundreds of dollars each, and tanced himself from the idea without crit- The Draft Report has been dubbed ments, especially if they aren’t majoring that “students probably won’t mind paying icizing it outright. “a real action-item document” by Task in the arts. 10% of their next cheapest fee” in return Yesterday, Hug defended his idea, Force co-chairs Kathy O’Dell and Tom “This is something [students] expect for free tickets. She also pointed out that which has drawn sharp dissent from sev- Moore. They explained that not only to be able to do at college, and [their] the University of Virginia has implemented eral lawmakers and educators. He argued does the report contain a list of the rec- opinion of UMBC is diminished when the same plan, and it has tripled student that it could triple the number of finan- ommendations they have proposed, but they find out they can’t,” said O’Dell. attendance to art-related events. “We could cial aid dollars available for needy stu- also the rationale and expected cost for Suggestions in the report for freeing up also entertain the notion of involving arts dents and enable campuses to better implementing them, items required in space for student musicians include organizations downtown,” O’Dell added. endure the ups and downs of the state’s any official recommendation to the uni- allowing them to sign out the basements One area of great concern among the struggling economy. versity. of residence halls, such as Patapsco, or members of the Task Force was the recent Several years of stable and growing This means that each of the items in allowing them to use empty conference suggestion by the Landscaping Committee state subsidies had enabled the university the report could be implemented as soon rooms, such as those on the top floor of to move the trash-compacting apparatus system to hold tuition increases to a max- as they are reviewed by the university the Commons. from between the ACIV and ITE buildings imum of 4 percent, until the economy without the extra steps general recom- In addition to damaging UMBC’s to the hill just outside the Fine Arts build- faltered at the start of this decade. mendations require. The document as a reputation, the Task Force pointed out ing. Other regents, though, took excep- whole is meant to ensure that, by its 50th that, in some cases, the lack of space for The Task Force is worried that the tion to another of Hug’s theories — that anniversary in 2016, UMBC will be the Arts is damaging the students them- smell and appearance of the apparatus will higher tuition costs would encourage stu- known as a university in which the Arts selves. “My dance students are being offend guests, especially during art dents to graduate faster. “Some of these “flourish in an academic [I]and[/I] forced to practice out in the halls on the exhibits and other events frequently hosted students are working full-time jobs,” said social sense,” and students are “as fully concrete floor… that’s dangerous,” com- in the Fine Arts building. The Landscaping Regent Nina R. Houghton. “They can’t engaged in the Arts… as they are in mented Carol Hess, chairperson of the Committee has said that the trash com- just graduate [at the pace of] the Goucher other fields.” dance department. To remedy this, the pactor will be tastefully placed, and the students and Loyola students,” who can One of the biggest issues discussed report suggests that springwood be smell shouldn’t be noticeable to passers- afford private-college rates. is the current state of UMBC’s arts facil- installed in extra rooms in the Fine Arts by. Stuart McPhail, a University of ities. “We need a solid facilities assess- building. The Draft Report is set to be presented Maryland senior from Sykesville, ment” to determine the need for new arts Another issue discussed at length in before the Presidents Council on Monday, decried the trend toward higher tuitions. facilities, O’Dell explained. Although the meeting and the report is the imple- Oct. 13. An online version of the full report “It’s going to decrease demand, and the possibility of a new Fine Arts build- mentation of a new program, entitled can be found at decrease the quality of students apply- ing is included in the current Master “Art$,” aimed at increasing student hjttp://www.umbc.edu/newsevents/arts/tas ing,” said McPhail, adding that some stu- Plan for the development of campus, attendance to art-related events at kforce/ dents may have to drop to part-time because they can’t afford the increases. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 3 Debaters Meet On The Field of Honor

RACHEL BENDER ism in the aftermath of 9/11 to Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ensure that the Patriot Act was passed. This was a complete Students representing the viewpoints non-issue, replied the of UMBC’s four major political parties Republican representative: “The met in the Commons Main Street last people don’t vote, Congress World News week in a debate focused on some of the does.” most controversial topics in politics Another issue, brought up in Cardinal Criticized for Remarks today a challenge from the Green Party About HIV The College Republicans, College to both the College Democrats Democrats, Green Party, and Libertarians and College Republicans, con- VATICAN CITY (AP) - A top Vatican all chose three representatives to present cerned the relative speed with cardinal’s claim that condoms don’t protect their respective views on U.S. foreign which the Patriot Act was against the virus that causes AIDS was criti- policy, the War on Drugs, and the Patriot passed, and specifically the lack cized by the U.N. health agency Friday as Act. of debate about it. Once again, “totally wrong.” The debate, on Wednesday, October the Republicans were ready. The disagreement arose after Cardinal 8, was moderated by Kevin Lyons. The “The entire Congress voted for Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, head of the majority of the audience seemed to favor this,” said their representative. Pontifical Council for the Family, told the the Democrats, although the Republican “Everyone supported it.” British Broadcasting Corp. that HIV is small sector was vocal enough to compete with The debate ended with a enough to pass through a condom. them. Displays of support were limited to closing statement from each His comment is in line with previous cheering and the occasional sign-waving. party, re-stating basic philosophy comments from the Vatican, which opposes The ceremonies began with an open- and providing information about birth control and recommends abstinence as ing statement from each party, outlining weekly meetings. “I think it went the best way to prevent the spread of the briefly each party’s political philosophy. well,” said Lyons afterwards. deadly virus. The Catholic Church has been The Republicans touted localized con- “Everyone’s views were respect- criticized for its opposition to condoms, par- trol; the Libertarians, individual freedom; Retriever Weekly Staff ed. I think people learned a lot.” Taking A Stand: A Student Presents his political ticularly in poor regions of the world devas- the Green Party, federal reform; and the Most of the representatives left viewpoint tated by AIDS. Democrats, ideological flexibility. For quickly after the ceremonies The BBC released a partial transcript of each topic, representatives were given fastly ignored. were concluded. Lopez Trujillo’s comments, some of which sixty seconds to state their party’s basic Among the issues brought up was that Did the debate change anyone’s views will be broadcast Sunday in a documentary platform, followed by challenges from of blind patriotism, in a challenge from the on politics? Did it spark a spirit of activism? called “Panorama - Sex and the Holy City.” fellow debaters and questions from the Libertarians to the Republicans. The The answers are unclear, but one thing is for “The AIDS virus is roughly 450 times audience. For the most part, proceedings Libertarian representative expressed con- certain: UMBC remains, in the words of the smaller than the spermatozoon. The sperma- remained civil, with only one obvious cerns that the Republican establishment had Libertarian representative, “twirling toward tozoon can easily pass through the ‘net’ that instance of name-calling that was stead- manipulated the heightened sense of patriot- freedom.” is formed by the condom,” Lopez Trujillo is quoted as saying in the BBC interview late last month. “These margins of uncertainty should represent an obligation on the part of the health ministries and all these campaigns to act in the same way as they do with regard to cigarettes, which they state to be a dan- ger.” Lopez Trujillo did not immediately respond to written questions submitted by The Associated Press. A World Health Organization spokes- woman said officials hadn’t seen the BBC program, but said any claim that condoms don’t protect against HIV is “totally wrong.” “When you use a condom badly so that it breaks or slips or it is past its `use-by date’ it is not very effective,” spokeswoman Fadela Chaib said. “Two years ago, in June 2001, there was a big study that reviewed all the literature on male condoms. This study showed that condoms are 90 percent effec- tive against HIV/AIDS infection, and the other 10 percent is when they were used wrongly. “It is quite dangerous to claim the con- trary when you realize that today we are fac- ing an epidemic which has already killed 20 million people and 42 million people are infected today,” Chaib said. Lopez Trujillo told the BBC: “There are several doctors on our pontifical council, and these people have studied this matter, and they have also given instruction through various published articles, so we have not seen any denial of this fact at the level of medicine.” When confronted with scientific research showing that intact condoms are an effective barrier against sexually transmitted diseases, Lopez Trujillo said: “They are wrong about that, this is an easily recogniz- able fact,” according to the BBC. Dr. Thomas Quinn, an HIV expert speaking on behalf of the Infectious Diseases Society of America, said several scientific studies show that the virus cannot pass through condoms. Page 4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 14, 2003 Professor Reed Discusses Police Log How Archaeology Relates from BALTIMORE, page 1 Theft from Building Tampering with Vehicle was one of the major health concerns in East for Urban Archaeology. She gave a lecture on Coast port cities, including Baltimore, during urban archaeology to kick off the Ancient the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centu- Oct. 1, 12:09 a.m.; Math/Psychology Oct. 2, 7:09 p.m.; Parking Lot #13 - An Studies department’s Ancient Studies Week ry, Yellow Fever. Because public health offi- Bldg. - UMBC students reported that 15 officer noticed that the window of a last Monday. cials did not realize the true cause of the spread T-shirts displaying a fraternity’s name vehicle was out of track while investi- One of the topics that Reed focused on of Yellow Fever, they quarantined the sick in Greek letters were stolen from an gating a theft from another vehicle. during her lecture was her findings during the instead of moving the entire population of the unattended box in the basement of the excavation of the site where the John’s town away from the path of the true carrier of Math/Psychology Bldg. Theft from Building Hopkins Hospital parking garage currently the disease, the Aedes Aegypti mosquito. sits. She led the team that excavated this site of Yellow Fever epidemics were so deadly that Destruction of Property Oct. 3, 11:14 a.m.; RAC - A UMBC the first two graveyards in the city: one for the one in Baltimore in the summer of 1800 student reported that unknown persons members of Christ Church, the other run by the claimed the lives of five percent of the town’s Oct. 1, 12:36 a.m.; Walker Ave. removed her unattended wallet con- city government in response to the aforemen- population. Such massive death tolls during Construction Site - A subcontractor taining cash and credit cards. The cred- tioned situation. previous epidemics were part of the catalyst for reported that another subcontractor pur- it cards were used at several off cam- Reed explained that there were many the first public cemetery in Baltimore. posely damaged his crane with a fork- pus business establishments. obvious differences between the way the bod- Some students may feel that archaeology lift. ies of those buried in the church cemetery had will never relate to them, but Reed offered Theft from Building been treated and the way those in the city’s examples to the contrary. An excavation proj- Theft from Vehicle cemetery were treated. While those in the ect at Peter’s Brewery saved popular nightlife Oct. 4, 1:36 p.m.; ECS Bldg. - A church cemetery were given headstones and neighborhood Fells Point from being flattened Oct. 1, 6:08 p.m.; South Campus UMBC student on the OIT staff report- buried with a significant amount of space to make way for a major extension of Interstate Satellite Parking Lot - An officer ed the theft of a flat screen monitor and between them, graves in the public cemetery 83. noticed a vehicle with a broken window power pack. were only one foot apart and were only marked For those interested in unique discoveries, while making a check of the satellite with crosses. One similarity between the two archaeology may be a good field to explore. At parking lot. The UMBC student was Malicious Destruction of cemeteries was the placement of all the bodies one of the other Baltimore sites that Reed contacted stated that the shift knob and Property with their heads pointing west, a Christian tra- worked on, excavators recovered “…a cat’s the remote for the radio were missing. dition. paw complete with fur; the rest of the cat was Oct. 5, 2:14 a.m.; Hilltop Another prominent topic in Reed’s lecture not recovered.” Theft from Vehicle Circle/Walker Ave. - A UMBC student reported damage to his vehicle’s wind- Oct. 2, 5:51 p.m.; Parking Lot #13 - A shield. UMBC Discontinues UMBC student reported that an unknown person(s) had pulled back the Malicious Destruction of passenger side window of the vehicle to STARS Phone Registration Property gain entry and several items were removed. PATRICK TYLER ment for in person class selection which Oct. 5, 2:36 p.m.; Hilltop Retriever Weekly Staff Writer had been the campus’ chief method until Theft of Vehicle Circle/Walker Avenue - A UMBC stu- then. STARS could be reached by dialing dent reported damage to his vehicle’s This semester was UMBC students’ (410) 455-6030 and worked through a windshield. Oct. 2, 6:46 p.m.; Commons Garage - A final opportunity to register for classes series of keypad inputs which allowed a via phone, as the UMBC phone registra- student to do anything from adding a UMBC student reported the theft of his Theft from Vehicle 1998 Acura Integra from the top level of tion system, STARS, will be discontinued name to a hold list, to checking course the Commons Garage. The vehicle was in October according to a University press availability. These processes could be recovered the next day on the Oct. 5, 4:11 p.m.; UMBC Stadium - release. lengthy however, as in the case of adding University of Maryland College Park The coach of the Howard University The decision to cut STARS came last one’s name to a hold list which required campus. Girls Soccer Team reported the theft of fall when, the hardware that runs STARS nine keypad inputs. A Student’s security personal items and cash from their van. became antiquated and the manufacturer was ensured by the use of his social secu- discontinued support. University officials rity number and four digit pin (which was contacted the manufacturer, Syntellect, default as the month and year of birth). and found that replacement would be Just as STARS replaced a technologically Looking for a Job? Three costly. “Replacing the hardware would inferior form of registration so will it be have run into six figures. We just couldn’t replaced by myUMBC. justify the expense when myUMBC deliv- myUMBC has added web based ease Words: Schmooze or Lose ers all of the functionality of STARS and to the registration process. What once RAC, Schmooze or Lose allowed atten- more,” said Tom Taylor, Assistant Vice- took many keystrokes now merely OLIVER BARANCZYK dees to hear from guest speaker Margie Provost for Enrollment Management. A requires a scroll down menu. myUMBC Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Anne Bonnett, concerning networking study done by the University found that also allows for greater security with the tips, learn about the resources of the fewer than ten percent of students used use of user names and personal passwords In the grand scheme of things, high Career Development Center, as well as the STARS system for registration, in conjunction with social security num- school and college really are the easy actually participate in situational games. according to Dave Hollander a systems bers and a four digit pin. Along with these hurdles to jump over before arriving to Bonnett, a UMBC alumnus and now analyst working for the University. attributes, web based registration is also a the big hurdle: life after college. Finding a successful software engineer for the Information about the demographics of great deal faster than the phone based sys- a job after college is a frightening Sandler Training Institute, a company those students who used STARS primari- tem and is only getting faster. As Taylor thought for many students, but the co-owned by Bonnett and her father, ly were unable to be attained because of says, “myUMBC processing capacity has UMBC Career Development Center is stressed the importance of self-market- the limitations of the system, limitations increased three-fold.” For those students determined to change that perception. ing to employers. Bonnett explained that not present in the web based registration who do not have personal computers the On Wednesday, Oct. 8, for a couple one of the most crucial parts of network- which will replace STARS. University provides free labs around cam- of hours in the afternoon, UMBC’s ing and self-advertisement is giving STARS was a phone registration sys- pus in which students can use web based Career Development Center and On- employers a reason or way to attach tem implemented in 1995 as a replace- registration. Campus Alumni hosted a seminar your name to a face, as creating visual dubbed “Schmooze or Lose.” impact is crucial. Designed to help current students at Bonnett also outlined many “trap” UMBC or past graduates feel more com- phrases used by employers during inter- fortable about looking for a job, views, such as “tell me about yourself,” Schmooze or Lose provided the atten- “why should we hire you?” and “what dees with many helpful tips and strate- do you feel your compensation should gies in order to more effectively estab- be?” While wholeheartedly difficult to lish a network system for prospective answer, Bonnett offered the tip of flip- employers. ping questions back at the employer, A precursor to the 2003 UMBC Career Fair, held last Thursday in the see NETWORKING, page 7 October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 5 UMBC’s Best New Secret

SHIRA HELETZ keep the lines down by having two cashiers Retriever Weekly Staff Writer available if needed and even a potential for four. “We are ready for the lines, we just need When the new Commons building was the crowds,” assured Ms. Jenkins. built, the old Yum Shop convenience store dis- The store doesn’t accept meal or flex appeared. However, a new store, Food for plans, but only cash put on the campus card. Thought, opened this year to fill its place. It This is for security reasons to limit the sells an assortment of snacks, sandwiches, amount of cash in the store and to encour- drinks, magazines, and hygiene items. age the use of the campus card. Another rea- Although Food for Thought is still in the son is that when parents and students pay stages of starting up, it has very little to do for meal plans they can be sure that the with the store itself and more to do with the money goes to buying food. “The meal and fact that not many people know about it. flex plans are specifically earmarked for Its location on the ground floor of the food purchases. So when parents and stu- University Center is extremely convenient dents pay for the meal plans, they can be especially for a quick snack or lunch between assured that it goes to purchasing food and classes. “Food for Thought is great! I’m my not magazines,” explained Leland Beitel, friend’s hero because I got them cookies dur- Vice President of Administration and ing the break for bio lecture,” exclaimed Finance. Freshman Tuan Pho. In addition, it has a com- Although the store hasn’t yet reached fortable seating area where you can study. the popularity of the former Yum Shop, both Junior Alex Mickler explained, “It has Ms. Jenkins and Mr. Bietel have strong con- become my new library. I go to the library and victions that very soon, more students will its actually noisy, while here the noise is less learn that its there and business will pick up. and its easier to concentrate.” The store is located on the ground floor of The lines can get pretty long, especially the University Center and open Monday- around lunch time and free hour. Yet, Pat Thursday from 7:30a.m.-8:30p.m. and on Jenkins, manager of the store, makes efforts to Friday 7:30a.m-4:00p.m. SGA Accepts New Constitution and By-Laws

OLIVER BARANCZYK tive bodies discussed several designs submit- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ted by SGA members before reaching an agreement on one. With the motto “Join now, Though the first month of the semester ask questions later,” SGA members will sport has been rather tedious for the SGA, much of the t-shirt later in the semester, in hopes of that tedious matter ended with the acceptance attracting a greater interest from the student of revised versions of its Constitution and By- body. Laws. Throughout the semester SGA has been Many SGA members put in a lot of time accepting applications for new members to the and effort over the summer to re-read and edit Senate and House of Organizations. While the constitution, in order to make the both bodies have several seats remaining, seats Constitution and By-Laws more applicable to are filling up as the days go by. New senators the student body of UMBC for the 2003-2004 Julie Martz (Arts/Humanities), Mike Engram school year. (Math/Science), Stayce Cole (Secretary) and After a few weeks of general discussion Sohaib Waseem (Parliamentarian), as well as within the meetings of the two sides of the representatives Justin Schaffer and Melissa Legislative Branch, the Senate and House of Kirkendall (Intellectual Sports), Mark Stewart Organizations accepted Constitutional (Charter Organizations), and Charlie Ebbecke Amendment 01-0304 and By-Laws (Secretary) have been elected to seats through Amendment 01-0304 on Monday, Sept. 22 and in-house elections. Tuesday, Sept. 23, respectively. The first very important day of the semes- Among other legislation, such as the ter will arrive on Wednesday, Oct. 22, when SGA’s resolution in support of the University’s class senator elections will be held. President compliance with the NAACP Call for Action Scott Nicholson has urged and stressed the dire in Education proposal, the SEB/SGA/GSA importance for a good turnout at the voting Partnership event, as well as the SEB/SGA/Pi booths, as last year a mere 250 students voted, Kappa Phi Alcohol Awareness Speaker. a severe disappointment. The House of Organizations Finance It is not only important for good voter par- Committee directed additional allocations to ticipation, but voters need candidates as well. the following organizations: the IFSM, Class senator elections involve voting on and History, and Art Council of Majors, Model subsequently electing three senators for the United Nations, Mock Trial, and the Freedom new student (freshmen and transfer students) Alliance. population, with one for the sophomore, junior, Another piece of legislation agreed and and senior classes, respectively. The SGA passed was that of the SGA t-shirt. In accor- needs the help of the student body on campus dance with SGA’s “students as a catalyst for to show its involvement by voting and show- change” motto and its desire for a more wide- ing its opinion on Wednesday, Oct. 22, on spread awareness of its presence, the legisla- Main Street in the Commons. Have an opinion to share? Want to get peo-

ple talking? Respond to the Buzz Question

of the Week in the Opinion Section. Page 6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT October 14, 2003 October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 7 Freedom Alliance Organizes Bartleby: A History and “Sexual Jeopardy” Looking Towards the Future from JEOPARDY, page 1 Kari Bruce, a heath educator running CHARLES J. ELLIS cant difference between “controversial” sub- The game of “Sexual Jeopardy” was the event, encourages students to take Retriever Weekly Staff Writer missions for the journal and those that are in played with two groups of students compet- advantage of the services offered through “bad taste.” The Bartleby staff encourages stu- ing to answer the most questions. UHS. “Its important for anyone who is sex- The creative arts journal of UMBC, better dents to submit unique, powerful and even rev- Categories included standard educational ually active to get tested for HIV and AIDS,” known as Bartleby, is a dynamic aspect of the olutionary art or literature, which often pushes topics such as, drug abuse, sexually trans- said Bruce. “We offer free anonymous test- campus literary community and perhaps one of the boundaries of conventional conceptual art. mitted diseases, HIV/AIDS, and reproduc- ing by appointment on every weekday.” the most culturally intriguing publications pro- Ironically, it was a “blurry photo of a man and tion as well as more popular categories Bruce also encourages other organiza- duced by students, for students. Bartleby is the woman, both nude, posing in graceful dance including slang terms and alternatives to tions to set up similar sexual awareness evolved descendent of The Red Brick, an positions behind a thin veil” that forced the ter- sexual intercourse. events through UHS. “We offer sexual exceedingly radical, under-funded, and spirited mination of Bartleby’s predecessor, The Red Questions were designed to test knowl- health presentations and “rub me the right publication produced in 1969, which sparked Brick. “Our biggest goal,” Ferris added, “is to edge and to educate students in specific way” massage therapy sessions for any cam- one of the more fierce, student/public out-cry get people to submit their works of fiction, cre- areas of sexual health. The health educators pus group interested.” Bruce explained. repercussions UMBC and its surrounding liter- ative non-fiction, poetry, art, and music to provided educational insight when respond- HIV testing through UHS does not ary community have endured to this date. Bartleby.” ing to questions that neither team could involve drawing blood because only a Remarkably, the salient ideas once dreamed by The publication, although well distrib- answer. mucus sample is necessary for preliminary the founders of Bartleby have once again uted, has remained for the most part, under- Many students praised the event, as it tests. UHS suggests that all sexually active emerged as an artistic portrait of a new and ground. Ferris explained that Bartleby has typ- offered a spirited learning environment that students to be tested every three to six imaginative student generation. ically kept out of the events scene at UMBC, is not found in a traditional classroom set- months. To make appointments students can Bartleby derives its name from Herman excluding fund-raising attempts, possibly due ting. Renate Young, sophomore and member contact UHS at (443)-615-2452 (x52452). Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener.” The to a lack of subsidy or publicity. Fortunately, of the Freedom Alliance, said, “The constant In light of world AIDS day, in early uniquely far-from-classical character, Bartleby, the shadowed image of Bartleby’s beauty is interaction held everyone’s attention and December the UHS will be holding an HIV was viewed by UMBC literary scholars in the expected to gain more campus and communi- seemed to make everyone less squeamish test marathon where students can be tested early 1970’s (at the time of the journal’s publi- ty recognition in the coming months. “We’re about discussing sex.” for HIV without an appointment. cation) as a symbol for non-conformity. Nicole planning a contest that I would describe as Mooney, a talented writer who developed the really, really, really big, and unprecedented at historical “story” of Bartleby, indicated that in UMBC,” Ferris said. Although the editor Career Development Aids the early years of UMBC, the school was a chose not to release any details at this time, the “haven” for activist, radical, non-conforming event is expected to make a considerably allur- students who in turn viewed the dissenter char- ing debut. in Networking, Job Search acter as a proverbial hero. It was the intellectu- Bartleby’s new sister organization The al expression of ideas and views by those Writer’s Guild is quickly becoming a promi- from NETWORKING, page 4 Business Journal, a vital asset to getting founding students that formed the platform nent presence in the UMBC literary communi- putting the pressure on him/her. one’s foot in the door with many from which future generations of Bartleby ty. The organization allows students to share Answers like, “I know that I could elab- prospective employers. Other network- artists could build. and discuss various creative works through the orate upon that topic for hours, but what ing resources include the Chambers of The arts journal has endured a colorful Blackboard system within the online UMBC points would you like me to cover?” Commerce throughout Maryland, popu- history throughout the past few decades. server. This creative forum provides an oppor- effectively put the employer on the spot. larly known as the gateways to the busi- Tragically, with the beaming success that the tunity for writers to obtain feedback on their With a plethora of papers detailing ness world. journal ultimately achieved, it had endured work as well as refine creative composition helpful programs sponsored by the The Career Development Center is financial constraints, which at times forced abilities through peer criticism. Career Development Center, as well as a constantly working to help students feel Bartleby to cease publication. In its earlier The future only holds continued generous packet full of guidelines for more comfortable about life after col- development, Bartleby was funded by dynamic possibilities for this strikingly better self-marketing, Schmooze or Lose lege. Still this semester there will be two “…extra monies left over from the English intriguing arts journal. The publication is, in truly was an informative seminar. Pre-Graduation Career Seminars, one Department’s Xerox fund,” according to a sense, a quintessential element of UMBC’s During her presentation, Bonnett Monday, Oct. 20, and the last one Mooney. It would appear that finding funds for intellectual and cultural appeal. Bernard also referenced the importance of keep- Monday, Nov. 3, both from 1:00-2:00 the journal has proved to be an arduous battle Deskal, the former Senior Managing Editor, ing up to date with the Baltimore p.m. in MP 102. until support from the SGA was eventually was once quoted as saying “The vision we delivered in the mid 1980’s. Although Bartleby ultimately strove to achieve is that art, good still struggles to gain financial strength, fortu- art, demonstrates and reaffirms the beauty of nately, through the generosity of the English life.” With aspirations to become a treasured Department, and avid attempts with regards to product of the UMBC collective, both fundraising, the publication has secured ample Bartleby and its sister organization The assets in order to make a permanent stand. Writer’s Guild will continue to produce the Nick Ferris, Bartleby’s current Senior artistic edge that defines the voice of the stu- Managing Editor and a computer science dents. major graduating in May, is one of the key More information regarding the publi- driving forces behind this publication. “Our cation, staff, funding, history, and forums of submissions during the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s Bartleby can be viewed at www.umbcbartle- were rather controversial,” said Ferris, “some by.org. To access The Writer’s Guild, go to people feel our more recent issues are too http://blackboard.umbc.edu, login and click tame.” Ferris indicated that there is a signifi- on Clubs and Organizations. Page 8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT October 14, 2003 Page 9 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY October 14, 2003

Are manners dead? 10

U.S. government spends money on money 13

Humanities get the shaft at UMBC 13 Opinion Are we living in the golden age of gay? 11 Become a UMBC Fan Today Letters to the Editor It isn’t hard being a UMBC fan. All you have to do is put on black and gold face paint, wear a Dawg t-shirt, bring two posters to each Letters to the Editor must be typed or written legibly and include the author’s name and telephone num- event, and have a loud mouth. Well, it isn’t that easy. There are some ber. The author’s name may be withheld upon request. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and crazy students who do this, but not enough do it on a regular basis. may not exceed 400 words. Letters should be e-mailed to [email protected]. In a few easy steps you can become a wild and crazy Retriever fanatic. First, send an AIM message to your suitemates telling them to UMBC’s Bar-Hopping Buses join you for an event at the UMBC Stadium. The easiest thing would be to walk over to your suitemates’ room and ask them. Next, put off that Dear Editor, exam you might have to study for and head over to the RAC Arena for a volleyball game. Exams can be put off for two hours. I read Mary Kate Bukowski’s opinion article in The Retriever Weekly’s October 7, 2003 edition with Going to a Retriever athletic event with friends can actually be a great interest. While the article presents a thought-provoking opinion, I point out that UMBCTransit does good stress-reliever. If you find yourself sleeping in the library it would not shuttle students to Baltimore clubs and bars on Thursday nights. To my knowledge local establishments, be a good idea to get up and head on over to the UMBC Soccer Pitch themselves, provide such buses. for a men’s soccer game. The options are endless. The Dawgs need However, I have proposed a “Harbor Line” that would help students gain access to the many cultural, more students to push them to victory. historic and entertainment opportunities that Baltimore offers. Based upon input from resident and off-cam- Become a UMBC fan today. Call your friends and tell them to call pus students, the line would operate about four times a day from more people to see the UMBC Retrievers in action. Bringing a poster approximately 1 p.m. to midnight, Friday through Sunday. In addition to Harbor Place and Fells Point, doesn’t hurt either. It is possible for the entire UMBC community to the line would serve the National Aquarium, Little Italy, some downtown historic sites, the Greyhound sta- have Retriever fever. tion, 1st Mariner Arena, UMB, and Camden Yards. The proposal responds to student requests and is in keep- ing with UMBC’s marketing and strategic vision of how we can better utilize the advantages of the Baltimore-Washington corridor. (We have already implemented weekend connections with the Greenbelt Metro Station.) I look forward to the Walking on a Carpet of Cigarette Butts time such service might be feasible. As if it’s not bad enough that students on campus are subjected to George Preisinger cigarette smoke befouled air, the earth is now becoming quite tainted Director, Transportation Services too. The subject matter is, of course, cigarette butts. It does not seem possible lately to glance anywhere on our campus without seeing at least one, and most of the time it’s quite a good deal more than that. Writing Center Wrongs Somehow, it seems that smokers have been granted a different level of leniency. If someone were to toss their empty soda can onto the side- Dear Editor, walk casually when they were finished drinking, they would be thought idiots, and instantly reprimanded by all those around. Yet somehow I am writing in response to last Tuesday’s article “Learning Resource Center Encourages Student-to- smokers can do the same with their butts, half the time not even both- Student Tutoring, Mentoring” (Oct. 7, 2003). As a Writing Center Tutor, I am dismayed at the gross inaccu- ering to stomp them out, and no one so much as bats an eye. racies printed in this piece. The author, Reshma Desai, could have avoided this with a brief visit to the There is something incredibly wrong with this picture. Horrible as Writing Center. First and Foremost, we do not “sit down with students and proof-read the papers.” Our serv- litter is, at least a soda bottle can’t start a fire. A candy bar wrapper does- ices are provided to encourage independent writing from the student. We look for a paper’s content, organ- n’t have the clinging stench of cigarette. Not that these things are often seen on the ground here on campus anyways. The majority of UMBC see LETTERS, page 15 students have enough respect and care to put their trash into one of the numerous trash cans placed conveniently around campus. Would it be that much more effort for a smoker to crush out their The Retriever Weekly staff edi- filthy cigarette butt on the side of the trash can and then drop it in? It

E torials reflect the views of the edito- sure doesn’t seem like it could be. ETRIEVER rial board; signed columns and H advertisements represent the opin-

T W E E K L Y R ions of the individual writers and advertisers, respectively, and do not Editor in Chief ...... R. Eric Thomas Managing Editor ...... Nick Chrest necessarily reflect those of The Business/Advertising Manager...... Brett McKenzie Retriever Weekly or the University Assistant. Business Manager ...... Elliot Gerlach of Maryland Baltimore County. News Editor ...... Amy Segreti Letters to the Editor are printed Assistant News Editor...... Joseph Howley verbatim, although the editors Opinion Editor ...... Amber Sampson reserve the right to edit any letter Have an opinion to share? Assistant Opinion Editor ...... Mary Kate Bukowski deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous Features Editor ...... Kaidye Hansen or otherwise in need of revision. Assistant Opinion/Features Editor ...... Phil Watkins The editors further reserve the right Sports Editor ...... Andrew Chaney not to print any letter for any rea- Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones son. Letters to the Editor must be Want to get people talking? Assistant Photography Editor ...... Anita Field typed or written legibly and include Production Manager ...... James Hamilton the author’s name and telephone Production Assistant...... Wai-loon Chan number. Letters must be received Production Assistant...... Vasanthi Abraham by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may Respond to the Production Assistant...... Noel Mueller not exceed 400 words. Copy Editor ...... Patrick Bladen The Retriever Weekly publishes Illustrator ...... Christina Ralls weekly on Tuesdays during the reg- Technology Manager...... Rick Carback ular school year. Editors can be Assistant Technology Manager ...... Paul Swenson Circulation Manager...... Adam Driscoll reached at (410) 455-1260 during Question of the Week. Webmaster ...... Aaron Stahl normal business hours or at Faculty Adviser ...... Christopher Corbett University Center 214; 1000 Administrative Adviser...... Dr. Patty Perillo Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly Check us out online:trw.umbc.edu is an equal opportunity employer. Page 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 14, 2003

write in, speak out.

“Why aren’t young people interested in politics?”

To quote The Nation, when politi- decisions. cians make “Social Security and Rebecca Cluster, Junior prescription drugs their principal issues... [and] communicate in a Young people do not care about language comprehensible only to politics because it does not imme- devotees of C-Span while period- diately provide them with booze, This Week’s ically indulging in attacks on sex, or free music. youth culture,” young people are Joe Howley, Sophomore turned off. Doddering, conde- “Is marriage for heterosexuals only?” scending old white men telling us Some college students do care that our vaguely liberal lifestyles about politics, but I personally are unChristian? Get real. feel my political beliefs can’t Julie Sager, Sophomore influence society or our govern- ment as a whole, and there are They’re spoiled. more important things to me (such All members of the UMBC community are encouraged to Colin McGuigan, Junior as school) to even worry or care respond to the Question of the Week to be published in “The about politics. Politics definitely Buzz” section in next week’s issue. Responses should be under I disagree. I think that college takes its place on the back burner 50 words, sent either by email to [email protected] or by AIM students care more about politics for most college students. to trwbuzz. Deadline for submission is Friday at 10pm. than anyone realizes. We are the Avi Keller, Freshman future of politics, college gives us the knowledge to make political

Point Counterpoint Youngins Continue to Mind Their Manners Personal Etiquette is a Thing of the Past KYRA N. WILSON extension of them. annoy others with obnoxious rings to While it is true that most of us don’t MARY KATE BUKOWSKI send a message that “yes, I have friends, The best part about manners is that wear hats and gloves to church anymore, or and they call me?” But ah, I digress. they are relative to each generation. What take apples to our teachers, but we do burp Manners? What manners? Politeness Smokers throw cigarette butts on the those who are older than us may call “good in public, spit while others are present, and and civility on the grand scale have gone ground, leading to two possibilities: (1) manners,” we may find to be inefficient and sometimes we may use curse words a little out the car window like the vestiges of a either difficulty remains in locating the outdated. This is an age-old battle that will more often than we should, it doesn’t mean day-old McDonald’s lunch. proper disposal units that are everywhere, never end. Unfortunately, we will we are the worst of the lot. I didn’t go to eti- “Bless you” and “gesundheit” are or (2) this is an attempt to grow new inevitably subject our children to this argu- quette school, and chances are, neither did practically gone, sneezed away and dis- tobacco plants to make the world a green- ment, too. Why does everyone keep blam- you, but we still mind our manners. carded like used tissues. Though one may er place. Actually, that second theory ing the end of civilization on the young feel awkward interrupting a relatively could explain why so many individuals people? Let me point out some shining Kyra N. Wilson is a staff writer for The quiet environment to acknowledge anoth- spit outdoors—their saliva might just be examples as to why we are not the worst Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for er’s expulsion of mucus, one certainly what those little guys need to grow big example of human character. comment at [email protected]. seems to have no qualms about, say, hav- and strong. We hold open doors for people after ing a cell phone ring during a class. Or a And perhaps the greatest loss of all is we open them, we say, “excuse me,” when meeting. Or a that of table manners. While one may be we bump into other students in the funeral. enjoying immensely what one is eating, I Commons, we smile and say, “hello,” to the Odd, my phone have no desire to see said partially-mas- Res Life workers at the front desk, and we has the option of ticated food within one’s mouth. Napkins speak politely to the many diligent workers being silenced. and utensils have been created for dining who work to make our school functional. A Why should I there- enhancement, and I see no reason why great example of such resilient mannerism fore be subjected to they should not be utilized as such. came from a recent meeting I attended, one’s loud, high- So while some may argue that man- where, seeing that there were no chairs left, pitched rendition of ners may not be completely dead, the a young man offered to give up his chair so the “Macarena” (or few spasms of life that remain to say that I may sit. There are a million exam- any other “smash “please” and “thank you” are drowned ples! I mean, we weren’t raised that horri- hit” of 1995), espe- out by cell phone rings and un-blessed bly! cially in a non- sneezes. Last time I checked, civilization was- emergency-type sit- n’t burning in an inferno of rudeness and uation? Has society Mary Kate Bukowski is the assistant riff-raff. Think about it for a moment: if we really become so opinion editor for The Retriever Weekly. are so rude and horrible, wouldn’t that be insecure that there She can be reached for comment at our parents’ fault? We are, as they say, an is a necessity to [email protected]. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 11 Are We Really Living in the Golden Age of Gay?

R. ERIC THOMAS over-exposure, equal widespread accept- with Focus on the Family and Concerned This is not the best possible time to be gay. ance? Is this gay boom really as good as it Women for America, is sponsoring this It may even become one of the worst. Rep. It’s been said before; it’ll surely be said seems? event, states “we believe marriage, the very Barney Frank is quoted in an Aug. 25 again: this country has gotten so gay. Last week, the campus, along with the foundation of our nation, is in danger… The Washington Post article as saying of the Maybe you haven’t noticed, but some country, marked another National Coming courts are treating marriage as if it were a proposed Federal Marriage Amendment, people—more and more—have. Some peo- Out Day with a dance, a vigil, a sidewalk Mr. Potato Head where individual prefer- “This is a far cry from October of 2000 ple have, indeed, been paying very close full of chalk and maybe a couple of yawns. ences govern its makeup. Marriage has no when, seeking votes from supporters of attention. After years of skirting the periph- No fault to the Freedom Alliance, of interchangeable components—it’s between equal rights, Dick Cheney told a national ery of American mainstream culture, homo- course, which organized a week’s-worth of one man and one woman.” television audience that the question of sexuality finally seems on the cusp of wide- activities around the day. It just seems like While those who support the accept- same-sex relationships should be left to the spread acceptance. “coming out” is so late nineties, back when ance of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and trans- states.” Indeed, opponents to the freedom The transformation was seemingly the only gays you saw on television or in gender people into mainstream society have of GLBT people have become emboldened overnight. Just two years ago homosexuali- the movies were dying of AIDS. been holding Will & Grace parties and and they’ve become louder. ty was that thing that made Rosie With gayness being suddenly chic, it TiVOing the Madonna-Britney kiss for pure And just because the Fab 5 is the best O’Donnell quit T.V., get nasty, and cut her only makes sense that coming out wouldn’t kitsch value, a war has been declared by a thing to happen to basic cable since hair. Nowadays, it’s what everybody needs be such a problem anymore. Who wouldn’t growing faction of this country. This time Trading Spaces, it doesn’t mean that any- to add a little humor, a little style, and a lit- want to come out? Everybody loves gays! it’s not against some foreign-born man with body’s “made it” or that National Coming tle improvement to their humdrum straight Everybody. dark skin and a grudge. It’s against you. It’s Out Day or coming out at all has become a lives. Everybody needs a gay to help you Well, except for the President. It’s a against me. moot point. change your life, change your mind, change minor thing really, but while we were off True, people are allowed to think and Lesbians, gays, transgender people, your clothes. celebrating the brand new day we’re living behave in whatever way they please—this bisexuals and their allies must redouble Obviously, the Bravo channel’s in, a tiny, little, quietly-held opinion has is, after all, still America—but a threat to the their efforts to make their voices heard, per- makeover hit, Queer Eye for the Straight grown into a full-fledged backlash. More very nature of human respect and freedom haps even above the pop culture roar of Guy, is leading the charge, but truth be told people are coming out, alright—coming is created when lawmakers feel justified in happy homosexuality. They must persevere America is gay all over—from the best- out against homosexuals. actively seeking to restrict the actions of a and reinforce the message that they will not seller list to the Texan bedroom to the Notice the very strategic and intention- certain type of person. You may not think be silenced, they will not be pigeon-holed Tony’s and the MTV Video Music Awards al placement of Marriage Protection Week homosexuality is moral or virtuous, and and they will not be ghettoized. And, laws to specially designated high schools. And right after National Coming Out Day. that’s your prerogative, but you cannot or no laws, they will not go away. Not more and more the American public is Endorsed by President Bush on Oct. 7, the actively discriminate against an individual. again. bearing witness to declarations and con- week runs from Oct. 12—coincidentally And you cannot call it law. cepts that would have been unthinkable 25, the day that Matthew Shepard died—to Contrary to what much of the televi- R. Eric Thomas is the Editor-in-Chief of ten, even two years ago. Oct. 18. In a press release dated Oct. 2, the sion and print media would have you to The Retriever Weekly. He can be reached for But does widespread exposure, even Family Research Council, which along believe, this is not the Gay Golden Age. comment at [email protected]. Quotes from the Quad What Super Power Would You Be? photos by Yuki Tseng

Aiko Fujii, 22 Adam Whittemore, 18 Junior, Graphic Design Freshman, Engineering “The power to erase the “Be able to see through walls.” biggest mistake i’ve ever Elizabeth Cowan, 18 made in my past.” Freshman “I already have it... Death by spatula.”

Matarr Shanneh, 21 Junior, Economics “Be like a bird, see all what you people can’t see.”

Oniotunde Qsuesi, 19 Sophomore, Pre-Med “Power to fly.” Page 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 14, 2003 Despite Positive Messages, GLBT People Denied Rights current university “chalking policy.” marriage to male/female unions only. Campaign (HRC) Foundation, “found DAPHNE L. MCCLELLAN, PHD, MSW While gay-identified students and His action seems all the more significant that 36 % of those who said they didn’t faculty at UMBC experience a certain following on the heels of NCOD. It know anyone gay approved of granting This past Saturday, Oct. 11th, was level of tolerance and even acceptance seems likely that public intolerance will civil marriage licenses to gay and lesbian National Coming Out Day (NCOD), in many quarters, that is not always the only get worse as our president allies couples, with the same rights, responsi- which was heralded on the UMBC cam- case. Anti-gay epithets are among the himself with the vocal minority in our bilities and protections given to other pus by the Freedom Alliance’s “National most common forms of verbal abuse in country who are seeking to prevent married couples. But 81 % of those who Coming Out Day Week.” The positive our society today, starting with the ele- GLBT people from enjoying the same had a close family member or friend who atmosphere surrounding UMBC’s mentary school playground and extend- legal benefits that most others in our was gay, lesbian, bi or transgender sup- NCOD week seemingly belies the need ing to the college courtyard. Anti-gay society have. ported civil marriage equality].” for it. However, it was only a few years comments, jokes and outright physical GLBT couples would like to share National Coming Out Day, an annu- ago that the positive messages chalked violence are one of the last socially- in the rights afforded other couples in al project of the HRC, is designed to on the sidewalks by the Freedom acceptable forms of public discrimina- our society. They would like to have the encourage Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Alliance were chalked over with mes- tion. The gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans- protections provided by the Social Transgender persons to “come out” and sages of intolerance, contributing to the gender (GLBT) community of UMBC Security Act, the deductions allowed by tell others about their sexual orientation. experiences more subtle the IRS and the benefits allocated by However, let’s not confine “coming out” discrimination as well. many employers. They would like their to one day or one week. Make yourself One example is that as a children to have the protections which known as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or result of state policy, fac- only a legally-recognized family can transgender person 365 days a year. If ulty and staff are not per- provide. you are not GLBT yourself, you still mitted to include their A great deal of positive change has have the opportunity to make yourself family members on uni- been brought about by the GLBT com- known as an ally: a friend, son, daughter versity health insurance. munity in the past thirty-plus years. The or parent of a GLBT person. Together we This week (Oct. changes in public policy which the can change the world, one person at a 12th-18th) has been rec- GLBT community seeks will come about time. ognized by President as the general public gains more under- Bush as “Marriage standing of the issues. What will hasten Dr. Daphne McClellan is Assistant Protection Week,” an this understanding? Research has shown Professor of Social Work at UMBC and effort of conservative that knowing someone who is gay or les- specializes in gay and lesbian social pol- religious/political groups bian is a significant factor. A July 2003 icy. She can be reached for comment at to preserve the rights of poll commissioned by the Human Rights [email protected]. Limbaugh’s “Colorful” Commentary Doesn’t Cut it for ESPN

recent struggles had mirrored those of his Americans are indeed less intelligent than Players who win are viewed as great, and JOHN ELLIS team. Rush proceeded to say that their white counterparts. players who can’t have a stigma attached to McNabb’s two-game slump pointed to the This is just false. Take Tony Dungy. A them. Take Vinny Testaverde, the Jets cur- You know what? It’s getting to be so fact that he was really a sub-par quarter- defensive genius, he led the Tampa Bay rent starter. He has more passing yards than that I can’t watch TV anymore. Seriously, I back, and had been carried by his team’s Buccaneers to four playoff runs in six sea- Johnny Unitas, who many consider the was down to three channels until last defense. He then went on to imply that the sons and oversaw the implementation of greatest QB of all time. But he’s been his- Sunday: BET, the only channel on televi- hype around McNabb was because of the Monte Kiffen’s Cover 2 scheme that guided torically inconsistent, and just doesn’t win. sion that plays music; the History Channel, media’s desire to see a successful black Tampa to a Superbowl title the year after So he’s viewed as a sub-par player, while because I love history; and ESPN for quarterback. He further said the NFL has Dungy’s departure. He led the Colts to the QBs on winning teams are viewed as great. updates on my beloved Ravens. Well been far too friendly to black coaches as playoffs last year, and guided them last Donovan McNabb wins, and wins con- scratch ESPN, thanks to my pal Rush well, giving them too much press for their week to an impressive victory over his ex- sistently. He has guided his team to the Limbaugh. skill. Well you leftist sport media reporters, team, the Bucs, in one of the greatest come- playoffs in the past, and his running has How silly of me to think that ESPN Rush is on to you! backs in NFL history. His success is no aided Philadelphia immensely. His dynamic could be unbiased. I guess I just figured for Does he really believe that blacks can’t fluke. The same goes for some of the other skill made him the most exciting player in some bizarre reason that ESPN covered play quarterback, and the media is secretly great black NFL coaches, like Marvin the NFL to watch, until another black quar- sports, you know, like baseball and foot- trying to convince us that the races are equal Lewis (who directed the greatest defense of terback came along by the name of Michael ball? Little did I know it was a forum for or something (and we can’t have that, can all time if you go by the numbers). Vick. But maybe Rush thinks he’s just hype, right-wing racist propaganda. That’s right! we)? That blacks aren’t smart enough to Think to our own Baltimore Ravens. At too. God bless Rush Limbaugh for once again coach? To be fair, this is taking Rush’s com- the start of their championship season, their Rush was fired for what he said, and I opening his spite-filled mouth to get me up ment a bit off the deep end, but in my opin- quarterback was Tony Banks, who just hap- applaud ESPN for its action. Rush point- in arms. ion, the obvious implication is that the pened to be black. After a decent start, he lessly interjected race into a discussion Rush is an avid football fan, and media has created an image that isn’t true: was eventually benched after a four game where it had no place to advance his own served as a guest commentator for ESPN’s the superstar black quarterback, or the suc- streak where he didn’t throw a single touch- political agenda. This is intolerable in itself, “Sunday NFL Countdown,” which gives a cessful black coach, whose only purpose is down pass. Everyone remember the media and his being totally wrong about his state- rundown of the week’s matchups right to make blacks feel better about themselves. spin that that said Banks was really a great ments makes it all the more infuriating. before the action starts. Two weeks ago, the Quarterback is the position that suppos- quarterback and should start over Dilfer Rush contends that the fact that he has commentators had reached the pivotal edly requires the most brains on the football (Bank’s white replacement)? No, I don’t stirred up such controversy must mean he’s Buffalo-Philadelphia game, where a strug- field, and has been historically predomi- either, because it didn’t happen. Banks was right, but I have another theory. gling Philadelphia would try to defeat a nantly white, even to this day. The same not the better man for the job, and Dilfer Buffalo squad some were saying would goes for coaches. To imply that the NFL took the team to a championship. No one John Ellis is a staff writer for The reach the Super Bowl. would need to artificially enhance the stand- said anything about race. Retriever Weekly, and he is currently trying The conversation turned to the Eagle’s ings of its black members in the intelligence There is one bias in all of sports, and it to get at least one fact right in this article. quarterback Donovan McNabb, whose positions sends a message that African- can be summed up as “just win, baby!” You can cheer him on at [email protected]. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 13 A New $20: Andrew Jackson Gets a Make-Over

ANNA HOSAIN to the public on Thursday, Oct. 9th. It United States. It takes about three I can’t understand why we are will take the twenties a few days to years for counterfeiters to perfect the spending money on advertising this Who is everyone’s favorite person? fully circulate and come into the public art of replicating a new bill. The cost bill. It’s not like we can hide from it; Well, my favorite person is the impec- hands. The new bill has tons of securi- of creating each new bill is $.08 a bill, eventually all of us will have to face cable Andrew Jackson, besides my ty features and is superior to all other and while that doesn’t seem like a lot, reality and use the bill. Maybe the buddy Benjamin Franklin, of course. I bills before it. Apparently, the purpose the Bush administration plans on pretty colors are supposed to help us mean, I love Andrew Jackson. He’s spending $33 million on advertis- spend more and thereby boost the really a great guy. He holds my hand ing the bill and even hired a top economy and relieve us from all of the whenever I’m making an important Hollywood agency to help spread stresses of life. Who knows? decision, such as getting concert tickets the word, as stated in the There are so many other things for the Strokes, or deciding between Minneapolis Star Tribune. The old that the money used to advertise the purchasing the new Radiohead or the twenty-dollar bills are still valid bill could be used towards, such as new Outkast. If I’m really lucky, he’ll and it will take a few years for child welfare. A study done by the even help me get both. He pretty much them to fade National Center for Homelessness in influences every aspect of my life, and out. the U.S. shows that 3-4 million people I’m sure he’s had a big influence on The gov- in the United States are homeless and yours as well. of this new edition ernment does- 26% of these people are children Apparently, I’m not the only one is to help fight n’t plan on under the age of 18. who’s been having a love affair with against counterfeit giving Jackson For the government that wants to Andrew Jackson. The Bush bills. The new a makeover for spent $87 billion on the reconstruction Administration seems to love him even twenty looks pret- another ten of Iraq, $33 million may seem like more then I do. So much so that they ty similar to the years after pocket change. But for the average have decided to help him become more old one except for this. In about American, $33 million is a lot of fashionable—in peach, pink and blue to a few changes which include a larger three years, the ‘counterfeiting terror- money; to use it on something such as be exact. Why so much love for Andrew picture (of my favorite person, Andrew ists’ will have recreated this highly advertising their new toy is just plain Jackson? Because his face is on the Jackson) as well as a watermark which superior new bill. So, logically, creat- wasteful. twenty-dollar bill. can be seen on both sides. It’s actually ing this new bill doesn’t make sense The U.S. Department of Treasury very entertaining. I’m sure all the kids because the counterfeiters can use the Anna Hosain is a guest writer for proposed a new design for the twenty will love the color-changing ink. old bill for three years until they per- The Retriever Weekly. She can be earlier this year which was approved by The twenty-dollar bill is the most fect the new bill which they can use reached for comment at the Bush administration and introduced commonly counterfeited bill in the afterwards. [email protected]. Tech Students Flourish as the Humanities Become Obsolete lows more of the job market everyday, like ITE or Physics were specifically Professor Jason Loviglio in the BRETT MCKENZIE and some jobs that can now be done by designed for two or three majors to be American studies department, who computers make human workers obso- accommodated within, the Fine Arts teaches courses on pop culture at Every Tuesday evening at 5:30, my lete, people frequently question the need building is sort of like an orphanage or UMBC, gave a lecture two weeks ago ENGL 392 class meets in our professor’s for improvement in creative fields at all. dog pound, housing all of the lost, reject- on the influence of soap operas at the cramped, 6 by 8 foot office. Three other Don’t get me wrong; we humanities stu- ed majors. There is no organizational Library of Congress. professors in the English department dents understand the expenses and method to the madness, really. Music Our students are making waves as share the windowless, poorly ventilated equipment needed to fund a superior studios, instructors’ offices, the auditori- well. Recent graduate of the music closet. Although there are only four stu- education in engineering or computer um, and the poorly equipped practice department, Doug Yetter, is attending dents in my class, there is hardly room to science far exceed that costs of perhaps rooms are scattered over three different the prestigious Tisch School of Arts at cross your legs. In fact, there is so little an ancient studies or dance education. floors. The pianos in the practice rooms NYU; he has composed, directed or elbowroom that while reaching for his The work we do, however, isn’t any less are often in desperate need of tuning conduct over 200 musicals, including notebook, one of my classmates acciden- important. In recent years, our faculty with some of the notes not sounding at an adaptation of “A Christmas Carol” tally knocked a framed picture off of a and students alike have made significant all. that is performed annually in Brooklyn desk. “Don’t feel bad,” our professor contributions to this university and to the The dance studios and some theater Park. Photographer and recent graduate said kindly, kneeling to help him pick up outside world. offices, darkrooms and film and photog- Zachary Handler is putting his arts the shards. “It’s not your fault we’re Friends of mine in the sciences or raphy studios, even graphic design administration degree as well as his stuck in this tiny room every week.” with math or engineering majors often classes, are all encompassed within the sign language skills to good use, work- UMBC has grown and changed sig- tell me that the reason my GPA is higher old, run-down building. Even though it’s ing as a drama teacher to the deaf at the nificantly since I was a freshman three than theirs is simply because my major is considered the Fine “Arts” building, the Green Acres Day Camp. His goal is to years ago. The university has expanded “easier.” They have to work out formulas humanities also dwell within. The one day start a visual and performing in its size and population, constructed and spend hours in labs while all I do is English department has one wing of the arts school for the deaf. Ilse spacious new buildings, furnished beau- “read and write.” I’d like to invite any of fourth floor while the American studies Schweitzer, who graduated last year tiful new lecture halls, and sought to them to sit in on my Literary Theory and ancient studies departments actually with honors from the English depart- employ outstanding faculty in all disci- course or Honors Seminar, which com- share “one” office on the other side. ment, recently received the Master’s plines. However, as a senior English bine for about 300 pages a night. Perhaps Philosophy classes meet on the fifth Scholarship from the Centre for major with minors in history and creative instead they would like to try their hands floor or penthouse. There are two eleva- Medieval Studies at the University of writing, it’s extremely difficult to find an at memorizing an entire script in one tors slower than molasses for the stu- York in England. example of how any of the numerous week for a theater class, or have the dents who don’t have the energy to run I don’t have any regrets about my modifications have benefited students of courage to play an entire piano concerto up five flights of stairs to get to class. education at UMBC, but I sincerely the humanities. from memory in front of the music My freshman year, I took a class to hope that this university, administra- I consider myself to be an ardent stu- department faculty as their final exam. fulfill my lab science requirement. The tion, students, and faculty in other dis- dent of the humanities. Over the past Outside of the Humanities Scholars professor’s office was larger than sever- ciplines stop treating the humanities three years, I’ve added and dropped an and Sondheim Public Affairs Scholars al classrooms I’ve been stuck in inside like just an easy way out. We work just American Studies major, music minor, programs, scholarship money in our the Fine Arts building, certainly exces- as hard, we produce just as much with and a theater minor. I’ve worked at The departments is often scarce. On-campus sively larger than any of my professors’ less funding, and we are just as smart as Retriever Weekly since October of my and local job fairs are typically aimed at offices. Although there are far less fac- you are. We aren’t just painting and freshman year and am one of the found- careers in technology. ulty members—so few that several writing; we’re teaching deaf children ing members of the English Next to the relatively new, “old” departments are forced not to offer cer- how to put on a play or composing Department’s newly formed Writer’s Engineering building is the stunning, tain classes every semester, preventing Broadway musicals. UMBC may be a Guild. I am one of eight students in the brand-spanking new ITE building. There many students from graduating on technology-oriented school, but our rigorous English Honors Program where are swivel chairs and enormous, air-con- time—the accomplishments made by visual art students pay the same tuition we have to opportunity to research and ditioned rooms with windows and pro- our faculty are no less important than as our comp-sci students. They deserve write our own undergraduate theses. I jectors and screens and computers. those made by our science and technol- the same quality education. think my experiences more than prove On the other side of the “old” ogy professors. Most recently, English me a worthy judge of the lack of atten- Engineering building stands the antiquat- professor Chris Corbett’s book, Brett McKenzie is the Business tion this university pays to its students in ed Fine Arts building, often called “the Orphans Preferred, has received Manager for The Retriever Weekly. She the arts and humanities. dungeon” by students who have four out national acclaim. Corbett was actually can be reached for comment at opin- In a world where technology swal- of five classes within it. While buildings interviewed on NPR earlier this fall. [email protected]. Page 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 14, 2003 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE Calling All Students, Faculty and Staff Interested in The Cultures at UMBC

Calling All Cultural Groups On-Campus

Calling All Members of a Cultural Group

The Student Government Association Cu and The Office of Student Life ltur al G are hosting campus conversations ro ups about the new cultural center on-campus. Students Faculty Come and Tell Us What The Center Needs to Have to Make You Feel Welcomed. The Last Two Sessions Will Be Held in The Commons, Room 2B23 On:

Staff Tuesday, October 14, 6-7pm Wednesday, October 22, 5-6pm If you are not able to attend these sessions then share your ideas and needs with us by signing onto [email protected] or by emailing [email protected]| Become a co-creator in this process…make the new cultural center at UMBC yours! October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 15

Letters to the Editor

from LETTERS, page 9 ization, and cohesion, in addition to numerous other aspects of writing. We do not merely correct the papers. Students work with tutors to try to fix their own writing, understand their mistakes, and avoid future mistakes. Proofreading is all too easy a job—give the tutors who work here more credit. We are highly trained and thoroughly supervised in order to assist students to the best of our ability. Each tutor has been recommended by a professor, completed English 395: The Writing Internship, interned at the Center prior to tutoring, and received certification through the College Reading and Language Association (CRLA). We are all required to maintain a 3.0 GPA in order to remain tutors, and that is ensured through the reapplication process each semester. I would also like to correct the notion that we only provide assistance with “what- ever English papers a student has to write.” We will gladly tutor any piece of writing from any discipline; we will also tutor resumes, graduate school applications, creative writing, etc. As a matter of fact, students do not even need to bring any writing; we will help a student generate ideas to get started. Not only was the information in the article inaccurate, but the quotes were irrele- vant to tutoring. Math lab and writing tutors do not have “Potluck Dinners” on a regu- lar basis. Samantha Riley’s comment was taken out of context. Yes, we may study on the occasion that we are not busy; however, this does not mean that we are partying it up, rendering our- selves unavailable to students who need our help. The author should visit the Writing Center, located in the basement of the library, before he or she writes another article claiming to inform the students about the serv- ices we provide. We will gladly sit down with him or her and refuse to proofread.

Kelly Kern on the behalf of the Writing Center tutors

SGA Elections and You

Dear Editor,

As you walk into The Commons, many of you may have noticed the banner read- ing “Student Government Association (SGA): UMBC Students as a Catalyst for Change.” This is not just a catchy slogan, but a potential reality for UMBC students. Last month three students, Deen King-Smith, Gilbert Jose, and Augustine Nwachu, wrote a proposal for reconstituting the Office of Multicultural Affairs. These students saw a need on campus so they offered the university solutions. The SGA heard about this proposal, invited the students to its meetings, and passed a resolution sup- porting the proposal. Soon after, the university agreed to reconstitute the Office of Multicultural Affairs. Within the new school year’s first month, SGA and students are already coming together to initiate change on campus. We can all influence the decisions made on cam- pus and create change. From advocating for more parking spaces, to urging adminis- trators to keep the Library open until midnight, to reconstituting the Office of Multicultural Affairs, we have demonstrated several times this last year that students are catalysts for change. Additionally, the SGA represents all undergraduate students. It is through the SGA that we, the student body, give ourselves a voice on campus. The SGA voices student concerns on a variety of issues ranging from food services to academics. SGA also shapes various aspects of campus life. Well over a hundred student organizations, including SEB, receive funding from SGA. This week students are celebrating Homecoming, a week of university pride, that was started by your SGA just a few years ago. The question students must ask themselves is how they can shape their SGA. One opportunity comes tomorrow, October 22nd, when we have our Fall Student Elections, which elects the SGA Class / New Student Senators. While students are cel- ebrating their university pride, proudly wearing Black and Gold, students can also show their civic pride by shaping their SGA. How can you do it? Well, it’s as a simple as a few clicks of a mouse. Students can vote online at www.umbc.edu/sgavotes or on The Commons, Main Street between the hours of 9am and 5pm. So, while you’re at the Homecoming Pep Rally, or catching lunch in The Commons, you can to Main Street and vote for your student leaders. So I encourage the every student to take a few minutes next Wednesday to vote for your student leaders. After all, change is just a click away!

Chris Krummel, Speaker of the SGA Senate

TRW.UMBC.EDU Page 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT October 14, 2003 October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT Page 17 Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY October 14, 2003 Editor-in-Chief Meet The Retriev

Thomas Have You Hugged a Retriever R. Managing Editor Business/Ads Manager Asst. Ads Manager Eric. R. Eric Thomas is a junior Interdisciplinary Studies major study- ing Playwrighting and Multicultural Studies. His ascent to the top of the pecking order of The Retriever has Gerlach been universally hailed as inspirational Mckenzie and yummy. Featured on Dateline and Chrest Oprah, the tale will soon be turned into a major motion picture starring Bette Midler and MissPiggy. Nick Brett Elliot A senior Political Science major A senior majoring in reading, her favorite A 19-year-old freshman from that always wears a Red Sox hat. hobby is eating with her heifer room- Minnesota. That’s right, Minnesota. Goals in life include managing a mates, Jackie and Ale. She hates when And no, he doesn’t live on a farm so music group that sounds half people ask her “isn’t Brett a boys’ name?” stop asking. For fun he likes to swim Voted Gheto Boys style rap and half #1 on her “Top-Ten Morons” list is Red and play pickup games of pretty Barbershop Quartet and starting an Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez for beating much anything, and he’s especially advocacy group whose stated mis- up a 72 year-old man. When asked if into dancing- he’s in the Ballroom sion is returning sweatpants to what the world needs now is love sweet Dance Club. Oh, and he’d like to give best fashion prominence. How ‘bout love, this Chicago girl says no, it needs a a little shout out to his home: the them sweatpants? Cubs win in the World Series. Honors LLC- rock on, First South Sus! “UMBC News Editor Asst. News Editor News Production Asst. news

source Chan Segreti Howley

by readers iloon a Amy Joe W of TV An English major and Psychology Joe Howley is a sophomore Ancient A senior Visual Artist Graphic Design minor with a passion for subtext and Studies major and the crown prince and Interactive Multimedia Double cucumber mint candles. Functions of Venus. His year-long career at Major. Graduating in December, he best in chaotic environments. Holds TRW was ordained in a dream by plans on being a graphic designer by Guide Away Messages and Blurty in high the god Thoth. When he’s not sick day and a male stripper by night. He regard. Loves getting lost in Barnes or injured he rows on UMBC’s Crew loves the poles on stage the most. and Noble, frappe in hand. Cannot Team. His interests include bicycles, When questioned about his reasoning take being without cheese and web design, ancient history and lan- for this, he commented,”You gotta do - NickChrest music for long periods of time. Oh, guages, anthropology, religious stud- what makes you happy, so you can get and she hates peanuts. ies and science fiction. along in life.” Sports” Editor Sports Production Asst. Opinion Editor Asst. Opinion Editor Chaney Bukowski Sampson Mueller Amber Andrew Noel MaryKate In his fourth year as an English Noel has a rare speech impediment pre- You may remember Amber from such Mary Kate is major-less and a vege- Major, with a Journalism Minor, he venting him from correctly pronouncing articles as “War: What it’s good for,” or tarian for no reason. She is partial to is Fan of UMBC athletics and in the word “melon.” He does, however, something like that. She is a Sondheim both dining and sleeping at decent admiration of what Dr. Brown has have an uncanny ability to attract girls, Public Affairs Scholar, secretary of the hours. She resides in Erickson and done for the university. Motto for cold ones, and marshmallows. He has Social Work Student Association, says, “Take that, suckas,” to all who the Sports section is “Bringing a several degrees in Indian giving, cutting wannabe political analyst, and self-pro- live elsewhere. Although technically whole new game to the table.” Brett ones, TV/VCR repair, and death metal claimed tree-hugger. She spends her accurate, the label of “Ian’s sister,” is McKenzie set the standard; his goal theory. He is currently lookin’ at a thing free time reading and writing, usually one to which she chooses to no is to keep it there. in a bag, and yelling “damn shorty!” about religion or philosophy. longer respond. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 19 ver Weekly Staff Faculty AdvisorChris r Staff Member Today? Corbett Lakin Anita Production ManagerJames Photography Editor Asst. Photography Editor

Christopher Corbett, advisor to The Retriever Weekly since 1994, is a for- Field Jones

Hamilton mer editor and reporter with The Associated Press. Corbett has also been a regular contributor to The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Los Angeles Times. He has published two books, Vacationland and Orphans Preferred. He was the James Thurber Journalist-In-Residence at Ohio State This is James’ third year working for the First year senior working towards Second year photography major University prior to coming to UMBC. Retriever. He attemts to enforce the law second year. Graphic design major, hoping to one day work for a nation- around the office. Also, he is the guy aka advanced finger painting and al publication. For now she has set- who has to sit in the office and make paper cutting. When he isn’t work- tled for TRW. When she’s not chas- sure the paper is complete, sigh. He is ing for the paper, going to class, and ing UMBC students with her camera, a Graphic Design major, and an Art attempting to perfects his hand- she is showing horses or working on History Minor and is graduating this stands, he dives for the UMBC team. her own art. Currently she is looking Informing spring and leaving school, finally. He Thinks it’s funny to omit vowels from for someone to let her fingerpaint Plays music, goes to shows, and enjoys his writing, hasn’t yet realized it will them and then photograph them. a good 80’s dance party any day. get him punched. Any volunteers? the Phil V Features EditorKaidye Asst. Features Editor Features Production Asst. asanthi “student

W and atkins Hansen Abraham igniting controversy

A second year Mechanical Engineering Phil Watkins, otherwise known as Vasanthi is a third year student with a since and Physics double major pursuing a Philbert, is a sophomore English double major in psychology and juve- career designing off world transport major contemplating a Geography nille delinquency. She plans to go to with NASA. Distractions include rock double major. Can be frequently grad school and pursue a doctorate in 1966 climbing, ACSFC, A!K, science fiction seen running around the office, and forensic psychology. She also domi- and geeking out. Can usually be found riling his friends. Probably the weird- nates the Susquehanna front desk 12 in the TRW office, homework spread all est “normal” person you’ll ever meet. hours a week. She has a tendency to over, mumbling about converging vec- Non-medicated, possibly hyped up hunt down anyone who uses black pen tors and tensile strengths. Plans to rule on caffeine and lack of sleep. Avoid on newspaper proofs and negotiates - Kaidye Hansen the Mars colonies by the year 2015. if you’re easily frightened. with extreme discrimination. Paul Aaron Rick Circulation Manager Adam Tech Manager Asst. Tech Manager Webm”aster Carback Swenson Stahl Driscoll

Adam’s favorite part of working for the Rick is a third year computer science Paul is a junior studying computer A junior Information Systems major Retriever Weekly is spending three hours major at UMBC. After college he science at UMBC. He is the presi- and Computer Science minor. He par- every Tuesday searching for the latest wants to do more college, and even- dent of the Macintosh User Group ticipates in many activities and organ- place CPK Pub. hid the newspapers. He tually try to get a PhD. As well as on campus and an active partici- izations on campus including Triangle is captain of the UMBC cross country TRW, he currently is a member of pant in the UMBC Pep Band and Fraternity, the Linux Users Group, and team and if he could challenge anyone in Triangle Fraternity and the Mac User Jazz Ensemble. Paul plans on The Retriever, among others. When the world to a 10K race it would be Group. He also works for Apple com- attending graduate school after not out fixing the world’s problems, Prefontaine. His greatest accomplish- puters, serving as UMBC’s Campus completing his undergraduate edu- can be found going on Cherry Coke ment in life is his tough old man beard. representative. cation at UMBC. raids, and playing video games. Page 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 14, 2003

Exciting conclusion to Grant’s Dopamine Journey 28 Coen Brothers score again with Intolerable Cruelty 24 InnUendo advises on dealing with LaRouchites 23 Features Bigger! Stronger! Harder? Crossword Returns 29 Utensil or Deadly Weapon? It’s Not As Simple As That What You Should Know to Stay Out of Trouble

JOSHUA BAUTZ many students would then ask, what about for Retriever Weekly Staff Writer other non-violent uses? Are emergency rescue knives, specifically for use in high adventure Everybody wants to live in a safe envi- sports such as rock climbing or kayaking, per- ronment- a place where they need not fear mitted to be on campus, in the rooms of stu- theft, assault, or perhaps even worse. The resi- dents who participate in these sports? dential community here at UMBC also shares Apparently, the University’s answer is no, this dream, and to this end University officials as one unlucky student recently found out. have set down rules that residents must follow Although there is no mention of a distinction in in the interests of safeguarding all of the stu- the housing contract, an official in the office of dents who have chosen to make UMBC their Residential Life said that the distinction home away from home. between what is allowed as a cooking knife The office of Residential Life officially and what is seen as a dangerous weapon has bans many “hazardous” items in both the dor- nothing to do with the size of the knife blade, Sun / Retriever Weekly Staff mitories and the on-campus apartments. For and everything to do with whether it is found For A Good Cause: Students and visitors enjoy themselves for India’s example, students are forbidden to have can- in the kitchen or in the bedroom. Advancement in the UC Ballroom dles, hotplates, and even the infamous George The unfortunate student who was recently Foreman grill in their dorm rooms, for the pur- discovered with a climbing knife in his bed- pose of preventing fires. Additionally students room has been kicked out of his apartment, Dancing The Night Away are forbidden from possessing “weapons of pending the results of an appeal process that is any kind” in their on-campus residences, as still up in the air. More information on this par- stated by an official from the office of ticular situation will be in next week’s With A.I.D.’s Third Annual Residential Life. Retriever Weekly. In the meantime, however, But what exactly constitutes a weapon? the best advice for students is to store your Obviously, if you are found with a “magnum” knives, no matter what their intended use, out- Garba/Dandiya Festival handgun or a Chinese broadsword, you are in side of the campus loop. for a whole world of trouble, possibly even GRANT HUANG through raising funds for a variety of facing expulsion. However, there are not Retriever Weekly Staff Writer projects targeted at needy areas in the always clear boundaries for what is, and developing country. what is not considered a weapon. Take This past Saturday, the Baltimore “We would like to further cultural knives, for example. chapter of the Association for India’s diversity on campus and teach others A knife can easily be seen as a dan- Development (AID) hosted its third about Indian culture,” said Niraj George, gerous weapon- someone could inflict annual “Garba Dandiya” Night (Indian coordinator of this year’s Garba bodily harm or even kill someone with Dance Festival) to celebrate Indian cul- Dandiya event and also president of even a relatively small knife. Does this ture and promote on-campus diversity AID’s Baltimore chapter, founded in mean that all knives are illegal on campus? while using proceeds to raise funds for 2001 and based on-campus at UMBC. The official UMBC answer is no. its outreach projects. Saturday’s event, hosted in the UC The on-campus apartments are Founded in 1991 by graduate stu- Ballroom, featured Indian music, food, equipped with full kitchens, which many dents at the University of Maryland in prizes, and a whole lot of dancing. UMBC students use to cook their meals, College Park, the Association maintains While attendance was initially sparse, rather than enjoy the charming cuisine that nearly 40 chapters, including three over- the Ballroom was quickly filled to the rest of us are “treated” to day in and out seas in India. Staffed entirely by volun- capacity. At first only a few small girls at the Dining Hall and other campus food teers, the AID is a non-profit organiza- sashayed shyly to the dance floor but venues. To this end, knives are permitted in Amy Segreti / Retriever Weekly Staff tion that seeks to improve life for the the kitchen for use in cooking. Questionable Use: Dangerous butcher poor and underprivileged in India see GARBA, page 29 If knives are allowed for cooking, knife considered okay in the kitchen. Bennett’s Curse: Putting Maryland on the Haunted House Map

RESHMA DESAI ting scared at a haunted castle, but believe on you when you least expect it. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer you me...this one will be unforgettable. Obviously, Halloween wouldn’t be And the best part is… you can hope to see complete without blood-sucking vampires. Finally, there’s a haunted house in it be even bigger and better next year. And Bennett’s Curse gives you lots of Maryland worth going to and the all-too- Seeing as I’ve built up enough sus- them. The major theme, in fact, is that of common occurrence of driving up north for pense, let me give you a glimpse into what the “‘Royal Order of Vampyric Knights‘, a such an attraction is now unnecessary...all Bennett’s Curse has to offer: cauldrons full group of once honorable knights, now driv- thanks to Bennett’s Curse. Located near the of skeletons, spooky torture chambers, en by their thirst for blood and appetite for Jared’s jewelry store in Arundel Mills, is a great sound effects, a deliciously dark walk terror.” 4000 square foot castle reminiscent of throughout (don‘t be surprised if you start Speaking of appetites, the owner of medieval times. This castle, called running at times, too), and shadowy figures Bennett’s Curse, Allan Bennett, has quite a Bennett’s Curse, wasn’t always next to lurking behind you every inch of the way. big one (for terror, that is.) He has such an Jared’s. Though it’s been in existence for Despite the addition of new features enthusiasm for the holiday and loves his three years, the attraction could be found in like drifting skeletons and sound systems to job. After all, he loved scaring the neigh- Arundel Mills Mall until a year ago. This strengthen the effect of being in a haunted borhood kids when growing up. For those Courtesy of bennettscurse.com year, Bennett’s Curse has new animatronics castle, real people still play a major role in of you who have a mental image of what Deadly Bite: Visitors get a fright at and is better than ever. the process. Many of the pathways are Anna Arundel’s annual Haunted House. Now, I know it’s hard to imagine get- filled with hooded vampires who sneak up see HAUNTED, page 22 October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 21 The Built to Spill Incident OLIVER BARANCZYK realm of the hippie. The Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Patchwork corduroy pants, tie-dyed t-shirts, long locks of unwashed hair, “Okay,” began Features editor and commemorative shirts marking past Kaidye Hansen, “I’m going to read you concerts of String Cheese Incident, as a list of bands and you’re going to tell well as other bands Phish and me which one(s) you like.” “Fingertight, Widespread Panic were abound within Wakefield, the Coral,” she listed in a the converted basketball arena. For me, fashion reminiscent of a class roll call. the routine attire at concerts of my However, she halted after she read the choice consists of a wardrobe bought fourth band, the Flaming Lips, to which from the thrift store: plaid shirt, navy or I shouted, “STOP!” khaki slacks (with appropriate band pin “Excellent,” she revealed giddily on the pocket), argyle socks, and hip through her laughter, “you’re going to shoes. Thus, going to a concert hosted cover the Flaming Lips and String by a, dare I say, jam band, is always a Cheese Incident for the paper.” Two sec- culture shock. onds after she told me the thrilling news, The photo pass gave permission I had already found a way to ask about only to take pictures for the first three five questions through my ear-to-ear songs played by String Cheese Incident smile and goofy laughter. “I’m going to and so after running back and forth at the concert?” “Do I have to pay for the the front of the stage, snapping shot Courtesy of www.kill-bill.com tickets?” “How many people can I after shot, my pal Paul used one roll of Killing Bill: Uma Thurman as the bride faces off with the likes of Lucy Liu in this bring?” “When is the concert?” All of film and ten digital photographs. revenge-fueled action flick. those, plus a few more, I uttered, but my Having heard little of String Cheese hilarity temporarily ceased upon hearing Incident’s material in the past, I was the answer to my last question, concern- rather pleased with what I saw in the Kill Bill: Enter the Theatre ing the date of the show. “October first three songs. Beginning with a song third,” Kaidye explained. that the crowd wholeheartedly enjoyed, I let out a saddened “noooooo,” with “Can’t Stop Now,” and then feeding into KARIM SAID dazzling, ultra-stylized, hip Tarantino- the tone of my voice akin to that of a the country-tinged “Mouna Bowa,” Retriever Weekly Contributing Writer style makeover. whale call. For October 3 also saw one String Cheese Incident had everyone in I’m going to go ahead and emphasize of my favorite bands, Built to Spill, the Patriot Center pleased. Rounding out Kill Bill is not Reservoir Dogs or “Tarantino-style,” because Tarantino is a playing at the 9:30 Club in Washington, the opening three cuts was “Black and Jackie Brown, and Kill Bill is certainly not film maker not a technology geek who D.C. White,” continuing the buoyant Pulp Fiction Part Two. What Kill Bill is a wants to beat you over the head with CGI Fast-forward to October 3, 2003: in melodies and prompting the crowd to beautiful combination of things you’ve or wire work. Not to say there isn’t the the weeks since I was informed of my never seen and stuff you’ve seen a million occasional unworldly acrobatic feet, but incredible fortune to cover the Flaming see INCIDENT, page 28 times before. these are rare instances that do not make Lips and String Cheese Incident, I had On the surface, Quentin Tarantino has this movie what it is, and are in no way an been told that I would have backstage made a kung fu movie. But, it’s so very attempt to cover up for undeveloped story passes, an interview with String Cheese much more. The genre of martial arts and or week acting (Keanu, I’m looking in Incident, a photography pass, and two revenge style flicks is often relegated to your direction… You do NOT “know kung free tickets. However, after having the that dank and dingy corner at the local fu”). backstage passes and interview removed video-mart; stuck in the shadow of “New Instead, almost all the special effects from my list of cool privileges, I faced Releases” and crappy, big-budget roman- are done peripherally, leaving viewers the show with just a tad less excitement. tic teen comedies that pander to the vapid. with that what-the-hell-did-I-just-see look After having spent the previous This is why Tarantino’s fourth film on their face. The fighting scenes are high night, Thursday, in Philadelphia with my carries a big, bloody sword and spits (lit- intensity and are great to watch in all their close friend Paul Dobry, a Temple erally!) at clichés. Think about it. computer graphics free glory, and there is University student, and having seen Tarantino is an underdog, so it makes per- not even one overdone, Matrix-wannabe Built to Spill play there, naturally he and fect sense that so are the movies Kill Bill money shot sequence that’ll be shameless- I were both, of course, excited to come tributes. ly promoted in the trailers. back to Maryland and see another con- Tarantino knows what he is and where It’s definitely the acting that makes cert. he comes from, and he manages to master- this movie; the broad range, straight face, We left at seven o’clock, assuming fully take everything from campy, horror- cartoonish, take-me-seriously spoof act- that the Flaming Lips would begin at a slash-slasher flicks to Eastwoodian Italian ing. This movie is driven by nothing more time near eight o’clock. When we westerns and make a film that leaves audi- than the people in it. And a retro sound- arrived, we found, to our dismay, that ences with the amused bewilderment of a track that fits the film so well you’d think the Flaming Lips had just finished, hav- kid on a rollercoaster. Tarantino commissioned a revived Nancy ing performed from seven o’clock until Oh yeah, he pays his respects to Bruce Sinatra and Quincy Jones to record some eight o’clock. Rather disappointed, we Lee too. Kill Bill reinvents nothing, but original tracks. got our free tickets and photo pass, in a Oliver Baranczyk / Retriever Weekly Staff instead presents you with everything Speaking of yellow jumpsuits… I cool way because I explained we were Shagging It: String Cheese Incident underappreciated “schlock” movie makers on the “guest list,” and entered into the played to a very mellow audience. tried to show you before with a brand new, see STORY, page 28 Page 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 14, 2003

F.U.E.L.’s Major of the Week Scopin’ Out the Future American Studies by The Philbert

What is American Studies? What can I do with this major? Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) American Studies is the interdis- American Studies graduates find ciplinary study of American culture, themselves in teaching or education- After your lecture, you decide to You know how when we were little, past and present and draws on insights related fields, business, social servic- kill time by investigating the basement and everyone watched the CareBears and from various perspectives- history, lit- es, communications, public service of the building. You snoop around, and Sesame Street? And how it was so cool erature, sociology, anthropology, and cultural institutions. Many stu- find a door ajar. When you go in, you to play on the swings at lunch? Stop tres- political science, economics, psychol- dents earn advanced degrees in discover that it’s the maintenance tun- passing on the Childcare center and grow ogy and the arts. American Studies American Studies or related fields. nels that comb the underground of up, or you’ll get the cuffs slapped on you connects them to understand the com- Internships are strongly encouraged as UMBC. You also discover that all the for being a pedophile or something. plex forces that shape our culture. a way of applying your education and creepy biology specimens that people used ended up down here, and they gaining valuable experience. Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Can I emphasize in a particular mutated into horrific creatures that eat Flying to Miami is sounding like a area? Sound Interesting? college students. Oops. better idea every day. Stop ignoring that lit- There are five different emphasis If this sounds like a major you tle voice in your head that says Maryland areas within American Studies: might consider, make an appointment (April 21 - May 21) Taurus is a fine place, and buy that ticket now Communications, Media, and the to meet with an American Studies fac- Dude! One of the girls on the field while it’s still cheap. C’mon, do it! Arts; Community and Diversity; ulty member. Appointments may be hockey team totally digs you! Ask her Culture and Policy; Pre-Professional arranged through the department in out! Stop chasing around that Croatian (including Education and Social Fine Arts 453. For more information, basketball player and go for the real Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) Work); and Concentration in check out the American Studies web- goal: tough enough to kick your butt When you’re doing laundry late at American Studies. site at http://www.umbc.edu/amst/ without breaking a sweat, AND hot night, you’ll discover that you’re a sock enough to not care. short. When you peer into the dryer, you’ll get sucked into an alternate uni- Gemini (May 22 - June 21) verse where people, when they do Stepping Into the Halloween THEIR laundry, always get a third sock This week, and this week only, all back. You make millions selling single the chocolate you eat is calorie free. Go socks to match the missing ones, with Season With The Vampires to town, and screw that diet that has your own dot-com company. plagued you since high school. from HAUNTED, page 20 tion. And remember...nothing will prepare Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) Halloween-lovers are like, prepare you for the bone-chilling journey through Cancer (June 22 - July 23) yourselves for a revelation. Bennett is Bennett’s Curse. Fuzzy yellow snails with purple After that lucky break with the iPod velvet antlers and polka-dotted ban- like any ordinary guy, he just last week, you find a twenty spot on the really likes scaring the ners will be congregating in the occip- ground, and try to spend it at the OTC ital lobe of your brain. It’s probably a bejeezus out of people. Given store in the Commons. Unfortunately for the fact that I went to good idea to get that checked out you, it was counterfeit, and you are before midterms hit and you can’t Bennett’s Curse on a night arrested for possessing counterfeit cur- when it wasn’t completely study, thanks to all the electronica rency. At the station, you’re identified as they play at night. staffed (though still staffed the iPod thief, and get aggravated rob- well), I can only imagine what bery, too. it’s like when it‘s fully Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) manned...spookier still, I’m You walk into your lab class, and sure. Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) not five minutes later you begin to Kinda makes you wish it The papacy has declared that eating cough violently. You excuse yourself. was open all year, doesn’t it? ice cream is a mortal sin, and that all En route to the bathroom, you begin You can still satisfy your own breakers of this holy mandate are con- to convulse, and lose all motor func- appetite for fear through the demned to hell for all eternity. Too bad tion. You know why? Your ex prac- month of October. You can buy you wanted Ben & Jerry’s last night. You tices voodoo. Nuts for you. Shouldn’t your ticket anytime from 7pm- should have been born Jewish. Sucks for have broken it off without a mutual 10pm on Sundays and you. agreement. Thursdays, and from 7pm-11pm the rest of the week. Go at your Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) own risk, “The attraction will stay open until either the last The Surgeon General for the State Bjork has caught wind of your adu- customer leaves Castle Bennett of Maryland has declared that all lation and praise that you lifted up to her. safely, or they become trapped cases of SARS have been contained She is much pleased. She recommends there forever, whichever comes on the UMBC campus. You may getting tee shirts made to celebrate the first.” resume chasing after the ladies. Oh, joy of Bjork. She also says to not DL any and you’re welcome. of her music, or she’ll smite you. Visit them online at Courtesy of bennettscurse.com www.bennettscurse.com for Living Dead: New animatronics redefine the directions and other informa- phrase, “scared to death.” Want to see your club in the paper?

Well, now you can! It’s easy: just send your picture and/or a write up of your event, and become instant campus celebrities!

Pictures must be in jpg/jpeg/tif.tiff format and have captions.The write-ups should be 25 to 125 words, due by the Wednesday previous to the desired issue. send to [email protected] TRW reserves the rights to refuse any material. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 23 Punishing the Platter innUendo ✁ This Week: Breakfast Smoothie ala Ian Craig This Week: Close Encounters of the LaRouche Kind Kaidye Sez: other “boat drinks.” LaRouchies are ruining my life! Unfortunately we must occa- Working my desk hours at the For ingredients, there are a few cate- How can I deal with, or rather, avoid sionally pass by more fanatical Retriever Office on Thursday I was gories, juices, fruits, textures, and the them? devotees. In my experience, these IM’ed with an inquiry of orange juice. bonus. This is where the artistry comes - Petitioned to Death subjects have been known to throw Intrigued, I picked up some overpriced in; the smoothie is your pallette. Now for themselves directly in your path to Orange Juice from the commons and the paint, that is all about how you feel Now here’s a situation most peo- prevent any further advance. You took it to Ian, a.k.a. “The Yeti.” that morning (and what you have in your ple on campus can relate to: You’re must not be deterred! Even if you Upon seeing my arrival, with the OJ fridge). walking along the academic corridor have to zigzag your way through a in hand, Yeti Ian did a crazy happy dance. Pretty much any juice is good; I like on your way to classes. The air is LaRouche obstacle course, don’t Ok, that’s an exaggeration, it was more orange juice with a splash of lime to brisk and fresh. It’s an absolutely gor- stop! like, “Thanks, want some of the shake?” accent the berries (if any). geous autumn day and you take it all Some people may feel more So I stuck around giggling at his antics as As for fruit, different proportions in. secure navigating this gauntlet with he concocted that wonderful nectar of the yield to different pallettes. I like to add Then suddenly, you hear it. The some form of mystic remedy. You gods. Can you say the pre-school Shark bountiful amounts of bananas to add a peace around you is shattered by the could possibly employ mantras, Attack song with the hand motions to go smooth, silky texture. Strawberries, rasp- all too familiar calls of those so-called rosaries, or even a large threatening along? berries, melon, pineapple, orange slices, champions of democracy: the stick (no violence please, just look So, I guess what I am saying in my passion fruit, peaches and star fruits are LaRouchites. menacing) to ward off your adver- long drawn out rambling is that one - this all good selections, but they don’t stop You’re besieged by outlandish saries. Though in the end such meth- Yeti walks the line between genius and there, the options are limitless. claims and freakish conspiracy theo- ods will most likely prove futile insanity, and two - he made one MEAN Texture is an aspect that must be ries that only they could concoct. against their persistence, they could shake, and by mean, I mean AMAZING. considered constantly. Orange and “Bush is training an army of monkeys serve to give you much needed Here’s the scoop: pineapple leave a coarser consistency to replace American workers so that peace of mind. Ian Sez: than supple banana and peach. A nice corporations no longer have to pay If all your attempts fail, there is “Food is an important part of a bal- smoothing agent is yogurt; it lightens their salaries!” (Hey, it sounds like one failsafe to resort to: just RUN! anced diet.” the shake and adds a good dairy ele- something they’d come up with.) You They can’t badger you if they can’t I was always told, “breakfast is the ment for calcium. Please explore the panic. Should you attempt to knock catch you, now can they? most important part of the day, you flavors. them out with your physics textbook Joe sez: know!” For an added bonus add multi-vita- and make a run for it? Should you If they actually succeed in hand- I always responded with “yes min powder, ginseng or any other dietary slowly back away in hopes that you ing you something, eat anything they mommy, I ate my breakfast like a good supplements to get a little kick in the don’t anger the predator and invite an hand you. Just take a big bite and boy.” However, in these fast paced days pants. all out attack? chew it a bit while looking crazily at as the industrious undergraduate, time is These are great at seven in the morn- Rachele sez: them, then walk away. not always a luxury that I can afford for a ing, or after a long night of drinking, or First off, it is advisable not to Rachelle sez: casual breakfast. even worse- at seven in the morning after come within a 30-foot radius of the Armed with this knowledge you Adapting to demandsAthlete of the a long night of drinking. So add what infamous table of doom (as I like to can now venture forth into the fine week, I developed perfection in a you want to this sunrise concoction, put call it). Staying out of their territory is art of Political Extremist Dodging, blender. Fruit Smoothies are a simple the lid on and mix, puree, blend, liquefy the best way to avoid an all out attack. or PED. Use it well, dear readers. answer to a complex lifestyle. They are or frappe your way to satisfaction. However, if you find yourself Who knows, if it catches on, PED healthy, low fat, energizing, and - best of Despite your morning condition, unavoidably in their vicinity it is could become UMBC’s newest club all - easy to make. remind yourself to put the lid on, this important to remember my next tip: sport! Now remember, this process needs may seem obvious, but then again most don’t make eye contact! Doing so is the passion of an artist, as do all things in things aren’t obvious in the morning dangerous because it shows that you What seems to be disrupting order to be done well. state of consciousness such as lifting the acknowledge their existence. This YOUR college existence? Write First, you need the most important lid or putting on pants. works sometimes, especially with the [email protected] with any kitchen item of any college student: the Please remember, my way is a good less aggressive members. questions! blender. It’s also a wonder with margari- way, but your way is the best for you so tas, daiquiris, pina-coladas and many you make the judgments.

Spinning the Globe: Japan by Sarah VanNattan

Lately I’ve noticed something literally using the cell phone of the future. dear life. Not everything here is uberad- slurp while you drink soup you are funny going on in Japan that has devel- The rest of the technology is the same. The vanced. being impolite. One of my friends oped since I arrived here. Despite all MP3players are awesome. Everything is There are little things that you have asked recently how it is possible to eat the craziness and insanity that I told better, smaller, faster and it amazes even to get used to. The latest fashion trends, soup without slurping! you about last time I wrote, I have me, someone is not a technology hound. for instance, which involve stiletto heels I am starting to feel comfortable in heard myself refer to this place as… On the other hand, I spent last with anything and multiple shirts for a culture that sleeps in the equivalent well… ‘home.’ Saturday dying my own bandana at a girls and hats- any hats- for guys. One of (for me) of sleeping bags (actually It’s a funny transition, but it is weaver’s house just outside of Kyoto. my personal favorite flavors of Japan is futons) every night. There are contra- good. I will be living in this place for Depending on what route I take to school the hot wet towel that restaurants provide dictions that make the country endear- an academic year, after all. I have found I can ride through rice fields and I in lieu of napkins, but there are so ing. For all the levels of politeness that that when I am at school I respond to see people wearing kimono on many little things that make up one learns in the language, the truth is questions with ‘Oh, I left it at home’ a regular basis. Despite the Japan. To indicate ‘me’ you that when you do go get lost on the and ‘I’m headed home.’ When I got lost wonders of the Japanese car touch your nose; the ges- train system for 8 hours you are sur- on the train system while visiting a market, bicycles dominate ture for ‘come here’ looks rounded by people who are willing to UMBC grad, Ben Lanson, out in Fukui the streets and sidewalks remarkably similar to the go out of their ways to help a crazy for- all I wanted was to get home. Eight of Japan. The most popu- American gesture for eigner. You can believe me; I tried- I hours and 6 trains later I was relieved to lar types not even ‘stay there’ and when am trying. I am trying the food, the be home. advanced looking and have greeting a friend (if you are traveling, the friends, the language, the Maybe the transition means that I no gears. They are glorified female) it is customary to styles and the mannerisms. There are am getting used to everything here. granny bikes and we all pity the shriek loudly so that your joy is unique ways to eat, to speak, to live, to Sometimes I feel like I am living in the people who don’t have baskets on unmistakable. learn, even to write messages on your future. Not only am I 13 hours ahead of the front. The architecture here is uniquely cell phone and all together they are the UMBC campus, but my free cell Recently I have been spotted riding Japan, there is no way to pretend that you making up home. I didn’t expect it to phone doubles as a digital camera and around on the back of a bike where there are somewhere else, whether you are in happen or try to make it happen, but can take video footage. Here we don’t is a rack for carrying packages over the the city or the countryside. From every somehow over the past two months all use cell phones to talk, but rather to e- rear wheel. Many Japanese people can be store that you pass, the greeting of the little things added up and started to mail. I am told that the United States is seen riding in this manner with one per- ‘Irasshyaimase!’ issues. Chopsticks are equal home... at least for the next 7 and 5 years behind in cell phones, so I am son pedaling and the other holding on for the utensils of choice and if you don’t a half months. Page 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 14, 2003

RecSports 101: Intro To Fun This Week: Heavy Is The Head by: Dustin Fisher

Next week is Homecoming Week at and trying to take the 5K Homecoming UMBC. While the rest of campus will be crown, some people just running for their busy with their dances and their comedy own time or with friends, and others who shows and their wine experiences, we’ll just want to show their spirit and walk the be doing our part here at the RAC. Next entire 3.1 miles. All participants who fin- Monday the 20th will be a historic day in ish will receive a prize. That’s not a mis- the history of UMBC. print, ALL will receive a prize. Beginning at 3:00 we’ll be hosting All these events are open to all the first ever Dodge Ball tournament at UMBC students, faculty, and staff. And I UMBC and going until we drop from can’t think of an easier way to get exhaustion or the lights go out. It’s going involved in intramurals than with these to be absolutely nuts in here. All three easy one day tournaments. Show your courts on the RAC side will be dedicated school spirit and join us in some of these to this event and there will be Dodge Ball contests as well as all your other games going on non-stop. If there’s even Homecoming Events. And though we half the turnout that it sounds like there won’t be crowning the winner of the Courtesy of Universal Pictures will be just from the buzz around cam- Dodge Ball contest as the Homecoming A Thin Line Between Love & Hate: George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones pus, it’ll be our biggest tournament of the King and Queen, what’s cooler? I thought make the comedy in Intolerable Cruelty. year. so. See you there. As always, call 410- The game will be played on the 455-2118 with any questions. dimensions of a volleyball court with Countdown to dodge ball… 6 Clooney Confronts, Courts, seven people pelting each other with our days special Kindergarten-safe gator-skin balls. The screaming, the yelling, the cheering - Important Dates: And Captivates Zeta-Jones there is no better way to take out your pent up aggressions. October 15 Mid-terms got you stressed out? Is Men’s Soccer: Stony Brook 3:00 in Coen’s Crazy Cruelty your roommate starting to really grate on Women’s Soccer: Old Dominion 1:00 your nerves? Show up to our dodge ball tions involving prenuptial agreements, tourney Monday the 20th. Check in October 17 STEVE WILEY phony grooms, and strange settlements, begins at 2:30. Try to get a team of at least Women’s Volleyball: at Albany 7:00 Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Massey and Marilyn are at each other’s seven people together. If you can’t, just throats, in between wicked quips and long- show up. There’ll be a lot of people look- October 17-19 What do you get when you throw ing glances. ing for a team. Women’s Tennis: ODU Invitational together a self-possessed, poetry quoting From the creative animated credit We will be running a men’s division, divorce lawyer, a spoiled, avaricious gold sequence, which looks to be made from 18th a coed division and if there is enough October 17-21 digger, and a cast of assorted kooky charac- Century Valentines Day cards to Carter interest, a women’s division. And if you Men’s Tennis: ECAC Regionals ters, including a creepy octogenarian attor- Burwell’s soundtrack, which fits the screw- don’t want to play, at least stop by to ney, a fairly bonkers, French poodle carrying ball comedy, itself a tribute to and parody of watch and mock your friends. That’s half October 18 Belgian Baron, and an asthmatic assassin? the overblown melodramatic scores of films the fun of intramurals. Cross Country: Lafayette Invitational (Give up…?) past, the film is nearly always on target, On Tuesday, if you haven’t quite got- Field Hockey: at Albany 1:00 You get the latest film from the piercing hearts like Cupid’s arrows, but sen- ten out all your pent up aggressions, or Men’s Soccer: New Hampshire 1:00 acclaimed writer director team, the Coen ★★★ timental notions of love are mostly ridiculed, you just want to see what you got (or Women’s Volleyball: at Northeastern brothers: Intolerable Cruelty ( out of not implanted. show the ladies/gentlemen what you got), 7:00 four), a semi-dark comedy that’s occasional- There is one priceless courtroom scene, we’ll be running our second annual ly winkingly romantic, but at its most which begins with some comic wordplay Fitness Bench Press contest. This event October 19 inspired moments is a mix of goofiness and worthy of Abbott and Costello, and devolves will also start at 3:00. You won’t get to hit Field Hockey: at Siena 2:00 farcical harshness. into a chaotic, uproarious debacle, worth people with big sponge balls, but you can On a few occasions, you’re almost con- admission price on its own. show off your guns and your UMBC spir- October 20 vinced that the movie has gone 100% corn- If Intolerable Cruelty lacks anything, it it in our second contest of Homecoming Men’s Soccer: Mount St. Mary’s 4:00 ball, lovey-dovey mush on you, but the is the essential element of location that was Week. Women’s Soccer: Navy 2:00 rather ingenious, if expected, plot twists so treasured in previous Coen brothers films, If you haven’t had enough competi- Floor Hockey Intramurals Start Date make for great fun and even greater comedic like the snowy, remote, yet oddly inviting tion by Thursday, we will have our third Homecoming Kick-Off Dodgeball payoff. landscapes of Fargo, or the sepia tones and annual 5K Homecoming Run. This event The film centers on Miles Massey (take soulful tunes of the 1930s South in O is open to all different levels of competi- October 22 note of the alliterative moniker, used contin- Brother Where Art Thou. This film takes tion. There will be some people racing Field Hockey: Appalachian State 7:00 uously throughout the film), played by George Clooney in his slick, Cary Grant place in Los Angeles and Las Vegas; two mode, a man whose profession thrives on cities which have been shown in glitzy but the demolition of what is supposed to be that at-heart corrupt light many times before and unbreakable, eternal bond: matrimony. He lack much of any kind of personality of their l Women Earn dissects these (already broken) marriages own in the movie. (I realize it’s probably ca $5,000 like a skilled surgeon, as if he were perform- demanding a little too much to require that Lo g ing an autopsy, in fact, exacting every last these places become another character in the tin film, but I guess I’m that kind of critic.) as Be an Egg Donor drop of wealth on behalf of his clients. C After a silly prelude involving TV pro- Speaking of characters, on the very sur- s For an Infertile Couple all ducer Donovan Donaly (Geoffrey Rush), face the leads seem to be stereotypical pro- c who drops in on his wife and Ollie the Pool totype, unlike the Coens’ previous protago- •Healthy — Mature — Non-smokers Extras Cleaner, (and whom we later see grimy and nists, like the dentist/film noir antihero of • Age 20-29 — Average Weight homeless, victim of Massey’s ruthless litiga- The Man Who Wasn’t There or The Big TV/Movie •2 week Part-Time Commitment tion tactics), we then enter the office of Lebowski’s Dude; who hasn’t heard a mil- needed •Confidentiality at All Times Models Massey, Meyerson, and Wrigley, in which lion lawyer/scheming wife jokes before? needed the film introduces the foil to Clooney’s But the movie excels, in a mostly main- experience stream and broad way, through its clever No Ages! shyster, a shrewd fortune hunter named and Marilyn (a sparkling Catherine Zeta-Jones) script, laced with witty, acrid dialogue, and All Looks DAY who has in her possession, thanks to the the well-punctuated performances of the $ 500 A $100- services of private eye Gus Petch (Cedric the entire cast. Of course, the loony list of EARN Entertainer, whose trademark line I won’t weirdos and oddballs who accentuate the 410-296-5126 Towson, Maryland spoil here), a compromising videotape of her story’s fringes only help to make this a 1.888.820.0167 unique entry both in the Coens’ filmography U23 www.familybuild.com puerile and well-off husband Rex Rexroth. ext. The pettifoggers at the firm get to work and a wonderfully unconventional example on the case, and after many surprise revela- of the romantic comedy genre. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 25

seb: we do this for you SEB member of the week? Yes, plan? you may be wondering exactly who For as long as I can remember, I these great ppl who plan the events on have wanted to have an NSYNC con- campus are. Well, I (Steven Stone, cert. I would like to spend some “qual- SEB programmer) am going to be ity time” with my husband, Justin bringing you a different member every Timberlake! If I could finish off my other week here in our lovely school time at UMBC with this, I’d die a paper. I thought we’d start off with the happy woman. very top. Why did you join SEB? I wanted to leave UMBC knowing Name: Puja Khanna I had left my mark. I joined SEB Age: 21 because I wanted to have an impact on Hometown: Germantown, MD students’ experiences throughout their Year: Senior college career. After an event has Major: Financial Economics ended, and you see the look on the Minor: Philosophy crowd’s face, you realize that all of What is your position on SEB? your work is really appreciated. I can’t Courtesy of kellerwilliams.net President imagine my college experiences with- Striking Out Alone: In his tenth album, Keller Williams experiments with being How long have you been on the out SEB. the band all on his own. board? What important lesson have you This will be my third year. learned in life? What is your crowning achievement I think one of the most important One-Man Backyard Band - so far as a member of SEB? things I’ve learned is to surround I can’t say that I’ve had a single myself with good people. I have been crowning achievement. I can say that lucky enough to have very strong influ- Keller Williams - Makes A I’ve been here to see SEB evolve as an ences around me. My family and organization. We have continued to friends have provided with a lot of sup- raise the bar, and don’t settle for any- port and advice, and I can’t imagine Terrific First Solo Album thing less than perfection. Our board how I would’ve survived at UMBC members work diligently to provide without them. After joining SEB my “Sorry from the shower.” Ridiculous as UMBC students with amazing events. I sophomore year, the executive board CHRIS DOCKERY they may sound, no lesser names could think my “crowning achievement” became another really important part of The Retriever Weekly Staff Writer do his tracks justice. would have to be just making it to my my life. Keller has a very unique style of third year, and being lucky enough to If you had to choose a dream date, This week’s artist exists in a catego- music that one can not help but admire. be a part of such an amazing organiza- who would it be? ry all of his own. Keller Williams has His style can be best described as “Phish tion. Justin Timberlake/ Tom Cruise debuted his eighth album entitled Home, meets Marley”. Keller has successfully What is your favorite quote? What’s your biggest fear (make it showing the listeners something new borrowed flavors from nearly every “The ability to learn is a defining funny)? and different. genre of music including reggae, coun- characteristic of being human; the abil- I fear Quadmania! It’s a crazy time From our own backyard of try, and rock into this record, melding it ity to continue learning is an essential of year!!!! And, Fredericksburg, Virginia, Keller takes together with his matchless technique. skill of leadership. When leaders lose I am so afraid of becoming older. I this album backs to his roots. He has He has even spliced in short clips of that ability, the inevitably falter. When honestly want to be a Toys R Us Kid. recorded the entire album in himself at the ages of three and seven in any of us lose that ability, we no longer Do you hate the Wood Fredericksburg, in a studio not even fif- the middle of some of his tracks, bring- grow.” - Warren G. Bennis, Geeks and Company…why? teen minutes from his home. ing back the 80’s whistle that we all Geezers I don’t hate the Wood Company. I Effectively a one-man band, know and love. It’s kind of what I strive for. It’s hate the lack of healthy options. All I Keller’s talent on this album includes all The entire CD is very laid back and really important that we continue to want is a salad bar!!! the instruments including vocals. “Since naturally puts the listener in a more evolve as people, and learn from our What is your best pick up line? I spend so much time on the road doing relaxed state. It is the kind of music that experiences and people around us. “Done and done”..not exactly a my solo thing, that in the past when I get one would expect to hear at a music fes- In 20 years, you will be doing what? pick up line, but it’s been picked up by into the studio I’ve felt like I should do tival like Bonaroo. You don’t always I hope to attend law school next the entire board and some SGA mem- something different” says Keller. understand what he is saying, but that’s fall so hopefully that’s what I’ll be bers so I’d have to say that it will be And different this record is. The half of the allure of the music anyway. doing. I am not sure what area I want to my legacy! J first track will catch the average listener When I first heard this album I was concentrate in unawares, opening with Keller playing very skeptical of it, as you may be. If you had to pick a nickname, what Steve Stone has super awesome an extremely technical guitar riff. The However, this album requires an open would it be? green hair and really really really entire record is filled with Keller’s mind, and some warming up. This album Will not disclose!!! hates physics. ostentatious beats and intricate instru- only gets better the more plays it gets. What would be your dream event to mentation. The music is so complicated So go out to your local record store at times that it competes heavily with and pick up Home. Then pop it in the the vocals. Somehow, though, Keller has player, forget about the stresses of col- made it all come together and it flows lege life and simply relax for the next extremely well. hour and five minutes. Then, believe me, To add to this original style, Keller you’ll be ready to hit the “back” button, has created some very interesting titles and do it all over again. for his songs. Topping this list are “love For more information visit: handles,” “Butt Ass Nipples,” and www.kellerwilliams.net

Movie Tickets...$0 New CD’s...$0 Concert Tickets...$0 Rockstar Interviews...$0 Backstage Passes...$0 Writing for TRW Features...Priceless

Write [email protected] to get more information on living the life of a UMBC Features Reporter Page 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 14, 2003 Beginning [Oct. 16] Incidentally... Events Happening Throughout the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus TOWN Beginning [Oct. 14] Thursday, October 16 Everyone’s favorite (?) group of Bringin’ da Funk maniacal white rappers who jump Wednesday, Oct. 14 find the music in the Cabaret. If it’s sunny, Baltimore’s favorite jazzy, bluey around onstage in clown makeup Pizza & Politics find it on the Commons Street Stage. Email funk band is hitting perhaps the per- and do their best at insulting Discuss Green Party Presidential Politics Anthony Davies at [email protected] for fect venue- The Funk Box! Oh, by Eminem with homophobic verbal over free pizza in the Cabaret from 1-2pm. more information. the way, it’s the Kelly Bell Band I’m abuse (or is that, insulting the audi- Contact David Gill at gdbikeman@hot- Friday, Oct. 17 talking about, but I’m sure that’s ence’s intelligence?). Umm… any- mail.com for more information. Midnite Madness 2K3 already been assumed by my reader- way, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, the Thursday, Oct. 16 Enjoy free festivities and food from 10- ship. What else do you need to Insane Clown Posse is back in town, Fluxus Art Movement 11:55pm. There’ll be a live band, lots of dif- know…? It starts at 8:00 p.m., OK? ready to convert new followers to What’s that, you ask? Find out by stop- ferent games, and live dance performances. Friday, October 17 their army of “Juggalos” and ping by the Fine Arts Recital Hall at Contact Omari Ruiz at [email protected] to Still the One “Juggalettes.” How charming. 7:30pm to see Allison Knowles and Larry find out where you can find the festivities. Beloved by both country music and They’re playing Nation tonight at Miller (two famous artists of the move- Sunday, October 19 pop fans, Shania Twain is roaring 7:30 pm- you’ve been warned. TM* ment) in a performance with UMBC stu- Talking Ska into town to “rock this country, right Mind Your Own Business dents. Admission is free. Call 410-455- WMBC’s “Mobtown Ska Sounds,” hosted by out of this world!” I’m sure all of Today the Greater Catonsville 2270 for more information. Brian Rudell and Bubby Mezewski will talk her catchy tunes, from her debut Chamber of Commerce would like the Thursday, Oct. 16 to noted ska muscian Coolie Ranx at 1:00 CD, her huge hit “Come on Over” entrepreneurs and business-minded Crystal: A Cycle of Names and Memories p.m. www.coolieranx.net. and from 2002’s “Up” will be per- UMBC students (we know you’re out Is just one of the musical pieces you’ll hear at Tuesday, Oct. 21 formed tonight, beginning at 7:30 there) to attend the Catonsville the Hoffman/Goldstein Duo in concert at the As Bees in Honey Drown pm at the MCI Center in Business Awards at Overhills Fine Arts Recital Hall. Pianist Paul Hoffman is a play that will be presented by UMBC’s Washington, D.C. TM* Mansion, 916 S. Rolling Road, start- and percussionist Tom Goldstein will be per- very own Theatre Department. The preview Haha-Funny! ing with a tradeshow at 5:30 p.m. The forming various musical scores for a night of will be on Oct. 21 and runs from Oct. 22-Oct. Sunday, October 19 event (which includes dinner) requires fun and relaxation, beginning at 8:30pm. 26. All performances will be held inside the Two of Comedy Central’s biggest registration, so give a ring over to Admission is free. Call 410-455-MUSC for UMBC theatre. $10 general admission, $5 stars are joining forces and doing (410) 719-9609 or give their web serv- more information. students and seniors, $3 for the preview. what they do best as Dave Attell and er a hit on www.catonsville.org. Friday, Oct. 17 Ticket proceeds benefit the Department of Lewis Black tear up the stage with 7 days torn Theatre Scholarship Fund. For information laughter-inducing antics. It all goes *TM = Ticketmaster.com or (410) Will be performing for WMBC’s Weekly and reservations, call the Theatre Box Office down at 7:30 pm at Baltimore’s 481-SEAT Friday Freebie’s Series from 1 2pm. If you at 410-455-2476. Meyerhoff Symphony Hall. TM* Got any upcoming area event? like rock music, you’ll want to be there for Got an Upcoming Event? Email resh- Tuesday, October 21 Email [email protected] (min. 2 some fun in the sun. If it’s not sunny, you can [email protected]. Juggalos Start Your Engines! weeks notice). October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT Page 27

8:00am- 10:30am Main Street

Commuter Awareness Week is sponsored by Off Campus Student Services, OCSS Commuter Assistants Team and the Student Government, Commuting Students Association, University Health Services, Campus Police, UMBC Transportation Services, and the Resident Student Association. For additional information contact: OCSS Commuter Assistants Team at X52770 or visit our web site at www.umbc/ocss information more schedules and information Page 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 14, 2003 Saga Continues As Grant’s Dopamine Search Takes A Wrong Turn In Baltimore Staffer Finds Love In All The Wrong Places GRANT HUANG And yet the next street that he had indicat- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ed was a one-way street where no left turn was possible. The next left led me all the way down Readers may recall last week’s issue leav- to Center street (which I discovered later was in ing our intrepid Retriever Weekly staff writer the opposite direction) before I realized that I Grant Huang standing in a seedy fast food was never going to find North Calvert. By now restaurant “in the wrong part of town,” looking it was past 12:20 I was somewhere in the 800- frantically to make the phone call that will hope- block of downtown Baltimore, even farther in fully avert journalistic catastrophe and personal the wrong direction from the café, and I was ruin. And now, the conclusion... beginning to realize that no force on this planet There was no payphone in sight. However, was going to get me there in time to say anymore seated on one of the restaurant’s age-blackened than hello to Sabrina Lloyd. Oliver Baranczyk / Retriever Weekly Staff plastic bench-tables was a prodigiously stout, Even as this dawned on me, I saw I front of Withstanding The Deluge: Doug Martsch and company proved yet again why the amiable-looking black woman who was enjoy- me an impossible sign: “Donna’s. Café. Coffee. fans keep coming back. ing a loud conversation on her cell phone with Bar.” In less than a minute my car was tucked one hand and an enormous piece of chicken neatly inside a cramped alley where a sign threat- tarred with globs of BBQ sauce in the other. ened towing and a $500 ticket. The tiny estab- “Hold on girl, I’ll call ya back,” she said, lishment in front of me had all the artsy down- String Cheese Sound Secrets giving me an extremely suspicious stare as I town-street charm I would expect an actress like approached her table. Sabrina Lloyd to eat up and I shoved my way “Ma’am, could I possibly use your cell past exiting patrons and ignored the very cute from INCIDENT page 21 lished a dedicated fan base. phone for just a second?” I asked, trying my best waitress who asked me something unintelligible get down with their bad selves on the In concert, their extended solos and to look young, lost, and harmless. Her eyes were as I burst past her into the dining area. floor and in the stands. All of the mem- improvisations lend the performance to tight slits the mouth was a thin, unyielding line. There were 15 tables. Perhaps 20, tops. Old bers possessed a real joy about them almost jam-band feats; however, the Not good. “I need to call my mom,” I finished businessmen. Old women. A few younger peo- while on stage and it was obvious that songwriting of lead singer Doug Martsch lamely. ple. No attractive young women, waitresses the crowd loved it as well, with the con- is second to none. Running over favorites Apparently this struck a chord, for the excepted. No bored Sabrina Lloyd. No indolent stant undulating of hips as they jumped that spanned all four studio albums, as woman’s squinting, pudgy countenance softened Lauren Kleiman. and grooved along to the songs. well as a couple of covers, most notably into an Aunt Jemima-esque, beaming benevo- A tap on my shoulder and I was face-to- Unfortunately, the upbeat and flow- a 15-minute version of Neil Young’s lence that would not have appeared out of place face with a brisk, 50-ish, no-nonsense woman ing rhythms of the crowd and music “Cortez the Killer,” Built to Spill had on the side of a pancake syrup bottle. with a shock of short salt-and-pepper hair and a were not enough to keep the both of us everyone filled with excitement and hap- “Here,” she said, and handed me the phone. neat black-and-white name tag that read wholly satisfied, especially after realiz- piness upon ending their set. I dialed with trembling fingers and the phone “Manager.” ing that Built to Spill were in Overall, I would say that the night rang exactly three times. I can’t be sure of exactly what I said to her, Washington, D.C. that evening. And so was eventful in every definition of the “Hello?” inquired a polite, almost curious but the handful of key words I managed to get we set out for the 9:30 Club after spend- word, and although I felt bad leaving the female voice. I had forgotten how young Lauren out (something along the lines of “interview,” ing a good 35 minutes watching String String Cheese Incident performance, had sounded the last time I talked to her. In the “newspaper,” “movie,” “Sabrina Lloyd,” “late,” Cheese Incident perform. seeing Built to Spill again was a special background, I heard faint sounds of laughter and and “sorry”) were enough for her to catch on. Needless to say, upon seeing Built opportunity. One of the two bands sure- twinkling glasses as I explained that I would be “I’m not aware of any such interview. to Spill perform for the second night in a ly fits a taste of yours, so I encourage late. We’ve got no VIP’s today, certainly not from row, it was obvious that we had made a anyone to take a couple of minutes, lis- “Well, we’ll be here,” she replied instantly Allied.” At my crestfallen expression she contin- good decision. The Boise band has been ten to a few songs, and see if either with an apathy that numbed my soul. “You’ve ued a little more gently, “Maybe you mean the around since 1992 and clearly has estab- group is your cup of tea. got till 12:30, then we’ve got someone else other Donna’s?” Other Donna’s? “Yes, in scheduled to do another interview.” A beat. Charles Village,” she said. “I can call them up, Another interview at 12:30. Although this idea maybe ask—” Bringing Back Kung-Fu made perfect sense, I had for some reason My watch read 12:33pm. Time was up. The always envisioned myself as being the only per- game was over. At the Donna’s Café in Charles from STORY, page 21 She delivers her lines with just the son interviewing Sabrina today. Which made my Village, Lauren Kleiman was no doubt smiling a mean great acting. Uma Thurman is hot!… right amount of requisite overacting need- lateness a disaster. As it was being late wouldn’t nice fat public relations smile as Sabrina Lloyd I mean she is awesome in her role as a ed for a kung fu movie, but manages to help me or The Retriever a damn, but at least I was chatting cheerfully with some other nameless, left-for-dead bloody bride out for turn on a dime when the movie calls for a wouldn’t have an indignant actress on my hands reporter, one thankfully more punctual than the revenge. Thurman has pretty much secured more serious tone; A close friend pointed when—And then Lauren’s voice interrupted my one whose woeful tale you’re reading now. I herself a cult following with her incredible out he had never seen an actress yell out epiphany to add indifferently, “Try and hurry drove in a straight line, and in less than 10 min- performance in Kill Bill. “My baby!” without looking cheesy, until up.” There was the proverbial click. utes I was somehow on I-95, heading south back now. I glanced at my watch. 12:14. I returned the to UMBC. Lesson learned. The next time, dear Accompanied by an phone to a baffled-but-still-smiling Aunt Jemima readers, this writer will not let you down. You’ll amazing supporting cast, and proceeded to race dashingly for the restau- get the real scoop. Thurman’s character is never rant door, backpack flying behind me in at a lack for enemies as she proper swashbuckling fashion as the scant battles Lucy Liu as a classical- few early lunching regulars and the dis- ly beautiful but deadly samu- agreeable KFC cashier looked on. The rai and Vivica A. Fox as a hot double-glass door failed to yield as I half- diva assassin turned soccer ran into it, and belatedly I realized it was mom (both quintessential the other door that was unlocked. kung fu movie roles with a Outside, the weed-smoking man, his touch of Tarantino, of course). offer to accompany me not withstanding, David Carradine serves had disappeared completely, bags and all, as the, until now faceless, title as though he’d never been under the tree character, but with glimpses in the first place. The fact was mildly puz- of him toying with a samurai zling until I noticed the parked police blade and other actors cruiser that had silently taken up station Micheal Madsen and Daryl on the opposite street. Hanna making brief appear- “You gotta turn around down there, ances. take a left, take another left, and maybe Courtesy of Universal Pictures Volume Two, scheduled one mo’ left, and get on North Calvert. Grant Huang / Retriever Weekly Staff Taking it Back: Uma Thurman battles adversaries for release in February, looks Then you gotta head up that way ‘bout 10 Idealized Destination: Donna’s Cafe played in a yellow jumpsuit as a tribute to Bruce Lee. quite promising. blocks or so, and you gonna see it.” hard to get to with Grant. October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 29

Sun / Retriever Weekly Staff Caption Head: Students demonstrate Indian culture and ritual at the benefit for the Association for India’s Development, Students Get A Massive Dose of Culture & Fun With A.I.D.

from GARBA, page 20 nated the event last year. “If you don’t they were not alone for long as growing understand the rituals or ceremony, groups of people, many dressed in tradi- we’ll explain. If you don’t know how to tional Indian dance garb, joined them to do the dance, we’ll teach you.” form a large, moving circle around a “I still can’t dance!” laughed portrait of Durga, a Hindu goddess. Gabriel as she snapped pictures of the Over 500 participants were expect- looping dancers with her camera. “I ed, and the Ballroom was quickly filled tried at last year’s but it didn’t work to capacity with people of varied ethnic- out.” Nevertheless, her repeat atten- ity all dancing along to the music, which dance of this year’s Garba Dandiya blared loudly long into the night (the speaks volumes about the event’s popu- event concluded at 1am). larity. As the evening wore on and more “Many people who attend are from people streamed in, AID volunteers outside of the campus community,” passed out wooden sticks for the much- explained graduate student and AID vol- anticipated stick dancing, which unteer Shailesh Nene. “While a lot of involves dancers striking each others’ people here are either UMBC students sticks together presumably to the beat of or are family members of UMBC stu- the music. dents, I think our advertising has attract- Steaming Tupperware containers of ed a lot of people from off-campus and authentic Indian food were uncovered that has really helped the Baltimore and hungry dancers streamed in and out chapter grow.” to sample the homemade dishes as the D’Souza agrees. “We even have hallway immediately outside the members, the ‘jeevan saathis,’ who actu- Ballroom filled with people chatting, ally oversee the projects overseas in discussing Middle-Eastern politics and India,” he said. “The organization has India while AID volunteers handed out grown a lot since it was founded.” informational brochures. According to D’Souza, the The Ballroom itself was completely Baltimore chapter of the AID raised full of Indian dancers twirling their approximately $3,000 from last year’s sticks, encircling the shrine of Durga; event. The money is divided between the the men dressed in flowing white robes projects currently being funded by AID, and the women were resplendent in which range from relief efforts for natu- loose, glittering gowns of red and pur- ral disasters (the Gujarat earthquake in ple. 2001, this year’s massive flooding in the Numerous non-Indian participants northeastern Indian state of Assam) to also danced along, making up for their paying for textbooks used by students in lack of ethnic dress with a surprising Indian schools. amount enthusiasm and energy. Together with the Indian Students’ Among the event’s numerous non- Association, the Baltimore chapter of Indian participants was sophomore the AID hopes to continue raising cul- Marina Gabriel, a graphics design major tural awareness in the UMBC communi- at UMBC. “I’m interested in learning ty and nearby metropolitan areas while about other cultures, about their music organizing events to fund its commend- and arts. I own a few CDs of Indian able overseas projects. The next major music, and I really enjoy watching the fundraising event will be the Diwali dancing.” dhamaka (Festival of Lights), scheduled “We try to encourage people of all for Sunday, October 26th and sponsored ethnicity to participate,” said Pravin by UMBC’s own Indian Students’ D’Souza, an AID volunteer who coordi- Association. Page 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY October 14, 2003 Sports Volleyball Looks Strong In This Week in Sports

AmEast Play, Wins Two Of Three Men’s Soccer

Oct. 15 vs. Stony Brook at UMBC Soccer Stadium ANDREW CHANEY (3:00) Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Oct. 18 vs. New Hampshire at UMBC Soccer Stadium (1:00) The UMBC volleyball team Oct. 20 vs. Mt. St. Mary’s at UMBC Soccer is picking up momentum for AmEast play after winning five of Stadium (4:00) their last six contests. The Lady Retrievers forced a fifth game Men’s soccer comes off their 2-0 win on Sunday against Binghampton and pulled against Vermont looking to take on other conference off a dramatic win. They got the rivals Stony Brook and New Hampshire. The same result against Hartford this Retrievers look to continue their unbeaten streak in past week as they rolled to a 3-0 AEC play. win. The only loss came against Stony Brook when the Lady Retrievers fell 3-1. Junior Julia Women’s Soccer Waclawiak added to her total of 41 aces as she continues to give opponents fits with her serves. Oct. 15 vs. Old Dominion University at UMBC After winning game one 30- Soccer Stadium (1:00) 28, the Stony Brook Seawolves Oct. 20 vs. Navy at UMBC Soccer Stadium (2:00) moved into the second game with an early 11-3 lead. The Lady Lady Retrievers won their fourth straight on Sunday Retrievers tried to get back in the File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff against Vermont with a goal from junior Missy game behind the strong hitting of Up Top: A UMBC player gets up to spike the ball on the oppos- Moore. The ladies have made a strong push during graduate student Jennifer Davis ing team. the middle of the season as their record continues to who hit .429 in the game. The improve. They look forward to the strong competi- Seawolves were just too strong It took little time for the Lady at 14-14, Waclawiak served up tion against ODU and Navy. and pulled off the win 30-20. Retrievers to dispatch of Hartford. nine unanswered points, includ- UMBC brought the pain in In three games UMBC rolled to a ing two service aces, to push game three. Junior Jocelyn Teoh 30-21, 30-19, 30-19 victory on UMBC to a 23-14 lead and an took a set from sophomore Megan Friday night. The Lady Retrievers eventual 30-19 win. Waclawiak Cross Country Gross and pounded it to the floor. hit .500 in game one with 21 total entered the week ranked second She did this eight times to push kills. Teoh recorded eight kills in the conference in service aces Oct. 18 at the Lafayette Invitational in Easton, the team to a 30-21 win. Teoh and Gross dished out 18 assists in per game. Teoh and Davis provid- Pennsylvania recorded eight kills and a .571 hit- the first game. ed the blocking UMBC needed to ting percentage in the game. The Lady Retrievers took the beat Hartford. Men’s cross-country came out strong this weekend “Jen and Joce have both been UMBC matched Stony second game 30-19 behind the winning the team title this weekend at the Mid Brook kill for kill in game four, play of Teoh. She hit .545 in the tremendous forces on our team in Atlantic Classic at Goucher College. J.J. Wenzel, the but fell 33-31. UMBC would end game with six kills. In game three hitting and blocking this season. up falling to Stony Brook 28-30, Waclawiak would turn out to be top finisher for the Retrievers, came in third with 20-30, 30-21, 31-33. the hero. With the game notched see VOLLEY, page 30 John Commins right on his heels in fourth.

Gutting It Out On The Turf Field Hockey Oct. 18 at Albany Field Hockey falls 2-1 at the UMBC Stadium Oct. 19 at Siena

rus of applause. “A great offen- Rowe explained in regards to Field hockey suffered another tough loss this week- DAVID JUN sive push and a relentless attack the 11 penalty-corners UMBC end after being upset by Lehigh 2-1. They look to Retriever Weekly Staff Writer on the part of our offense led to had against Lehigh on Sunday. break their nine game losing steak this weekend that goal,” stated junior defend- “This game was frustrating when they travel to New York and take on confer- At the 50-minute mark of er Cecile Banas. “We kept try- because we made similar mis- ence rival Albany and Siena. the 70-minute contest, freshman ing and eventually we finally takes like in previous losses. We forward Julie Moore deftly used scored,” Banas added. simply didn’t play for the entire her stick to carry the ball The Lady Mountain Hawks 70 minutes of the game. We through the defense and fired a scored 4:30 into the game on a have played better recently Volleyball slicing shot past junior penalty-corner and then senior against good competition and Mountain Hawks goaltender sophomore forward Marissa we will look to get better results Oct. 17 at Albany Jeanine Hoff. On a pleasant Iannarone struck again just 3:22 in our next two games against Oct. 18 at Northeastern Sunday afternoon at UMBC into the second half when she Albany and Siena,” Polek stat- Stadium, the UMBC field hock- fired a shot past junior goal- ed. The Lady Retrievers had their five game winning ey accepted the reality of a 2-1 keeper Meghan Polek. “When Four consecutive penalty streak snapped this weekend by conference rival defeat at the hands of the we executed on the penalty-cor- corners with about five minutes Stony Brook. They look to pick up some wins on the Lehigh Mountain Hawks. ners, we were a bit unlucky. to go in the first half produced road and improve their record in the AEC against What would go on to be the However, on the other penalty- no goals for the Retrievers. only score of the day for the corners we made some simple That stretch of play where they Albany and Northeastern. Lady Retrievers brought the mistakes that are easily cor- crowd out of its seats into a cho- rectable,” junior midfielder Jen see FIELD, page 30 October 14, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 29

Women’s Soccer: Standings as of 10/12/03 Women’s Soccer Wrap Up: Preseason Tennis conference overall Update: wins losses draws wins losses draws The defending AmEast champion Hartford Hawks were selected as the pre- For the second straight year at the Maine 2 0 1 8 1 1 season favorite by the coaches’ poll. The Cornell University Invitational, Josef Boston 2 0 1 6 3 4 top six universities at the close of the Novotny captured the ‘A’- flight singles New Hampshire 2 0 1 4 6 3 regular season advance to the champi- title. At the Towson University Fall Hartford 2 1 1 2 8 2 onship tournament. In addition to being Invitational, the men’s squad took home Northeastern 2 1 0 8 4 0 crowned the AmEast champ, the winner third place. In women’s action at the UMBC 2 3 0 4 5 0 receives an automatic bid into the NCAA Quinnipiac Invitational, Tia Kaasalainen Binghamton 1 2 1 7 5 1 tournament to fight against the best for was declared the co-champion of the ‘B’- Vermont 1 2 1 5 4 3 the richest prize in the industry; the singles. Both squads established a dynasty NCAA title. in the NEC as they held the title on several occasions. Time will tell if the same suc- cess will find them in the AmEast. Men’s Soccer: Standings as of 10/12/03 Men’s Soccer Wrap Up: conference overall The Northeastern Huskies who advanced Preseason Lacrosse wins losses draws wins losses draws to the second round of the NCAA tourna- ment last season were selected as the Update: UMBC 2 0 3 6 1 5 preseason favorite by the coaches’ poll. Hartford 3 1 0 8 5 1 When UMBC collided with this power- Working off rust from their spring Boston 2 0 1 7 5 1 house team on Sept. 28, the contest campaign, the Lady Retrievers competed in Northeastern 2 2 1 5 5 3 ended in a 2-2 double overtime tie. the UMBC hosted True Grit tournament Albany 2 1 1 5 5 2 UMBC’s Derek McElligott took home and the Genesee Valley Invitational. Binghamton 1 1 1 7 2 3 AmEast Player of the Week honors on UMBC prepares for AmEast competition in New Hampshire 1 2 0 6 5 0 Sept. 8 for being named the Offensive the spring on a high note as they left the Maine 1 2 0 5 6 1 Most Valuable Player in the Battle of NEC as the champions. On the men’s side, Baltimore the Retrievers participated in the ‘Lacrosse for Leukenia’ tournament for the third straight year. Seniors Franklin Berry, Jeff Field Hockey: Standings as of 10/12/03 Field Hockey Wrap Up: Clark, and Matt Gallagher were selected as the squad’s captains. conference overall wins losses draws wins losses draws The Northeastern Huskies are two time defending champions and were 0 Cross Country Maine 2 0 10 3 0 selected to defend their title by the 0 Northeastern 2 0 11 4 0 coaches’ poll. Last season, the 0 New Hampshire 2 0 6 8 0 Huskies made it into the second B Team Brings 0 Boston 1 2 6 6 0 round of the NCAA tournament 0 Vermont 0 1 1 13 0 before being struck down. At the 0 Their A Game Albany 0 2 4 9 0 close of the regular season, the top UMBC 0 2 0 1 9 0 four teams face off for the AmEast AMIT CHAND title and a chance to make history in Retriever Weekly Staff Writer the NCAA’s. The Retrievers headed to Towson on October 11 to participate in the Mid- Volleyball: Standings as of 10/11/03 Volleyball Wrap Up: Atlantic Collegiate Cross Country Classic conference overall and took home first place. The victorious Last season the New Hampshire wins losses draws wins losses draws men’s UMBC ‘B’ squad finished up with a Wildcats won their first AmEast title total of 35 points. Competing on a tough Northeastern 3 0 0 15 6 0 since 1998 and were selected by the course, the Retrievers managed to best the UMBC 2 1 0 13 8 0 coaches’ poll to repeat as the champi- second place Rowan Profs by three points. Binghamton 2 1 0 11 7 0 ons. The Wildcats fell to Minnesota in “The times are not going to be fast. There Stony Brook 2 1 0 11 9 0 the first round of the NCAA tournament are a couple good hills,” commented soph- New Hampshire 2 1 0 11 10 0 last season. The top four schools at the omore Ryan Cartwright. Coach Murray Albany 1 2 0 16 6 0 close of the regular season advance into Davis confirmed the potential slow times Hartford 0 3 0 8 11 0 the AmEast title tournament. UMBC’s to be run, “(The course) is pretty rough.” Maine 0 3 0 9 14 0 Jennifer Davis has received two AmEast “It’s an opportunity to prove themselves,” Player of the Week honors so far in the coach Davis added. The ‘B’ team did more season. than that in capturing first place and plac- ing four runners in the top ten. With the runners on the ‘B’ team looking strong heading into Saturday’s Athleteof theWeek: Derek McElligott meet, the Retrievers expected to do well. “Everyone looks really fast,” freshman by Amanda Otis. Peter Ramdial said of the ‘B’ squad. UMBC’s total time of 2:24:42.00 was Last weekend, men’s soccer McElligott a “proven commodity” and 2002. good enough to put them in first place out became the first team to beat a com- says that he possesses all of the character- His freshman year, he earned a field of nine teams. petitor in the America East istics of a first-rate striker: good speed, Kappa Kick-Off Classic MVP honors in Freshman JJ Wetzel was the top Conference. Retriever forward Derek great shooting ability, and efficiency in the addition to NEC Rookie of the Week. Retriever runner with a time of 28:17.00, McElligott was a big contributor in air. Before coming to UMBC, which was good for third place. this memorable win. He scored two In the past three years, this junior has McElligott helped lead his high school, Completing the course in 28:23.00 and second-half goals to lead UMBC past seen an impressive number of recognitions Greater Grace Christian Academy coming in behind Wetzel was sophomore Hartford to a 3-0 win. and awards. He was a two-time First Team school, to three English national titles John Commins. Senior Mike Caputi ran a McElligott has had a stellar year All NEC selection, the Northeast and was the first student from GGCA time of 28:45.00 to finish in seventh place. thus far, scoring 11 goals in just ten Conference 2001 Rookie of the Year and a to earn a Division I scholarship. The other runner for UMBC to finish in games this season, and has scored Second Team All Rookie selection by Former teammate Alex Wilmot the top ten was freshman Mike Brady with twice in each of UMBC’s last three College Soccer News last year. says, “Derek has been a consistent con- a time of 28:45.00. A modest Ramdial, games. He has a total of 35 career Despite suffering a broken leg that tributor to UMBC the past 3 years; who commented prior to the meet, “I’m scores in 47 contests, and he has the rendered him unable to work at his full however this year, he has elevated his not (one of the) faster runners,” managed second most career goals in UMBC’s potential until midway through the season, game to an even higher level. He is a to complete the course in a respectable history. he earned All Tournament Team honors threat to score every time he steps on 30:00.00, which was good for an eigh- Head coach Pete Caringi calls and NEC Player of the Week honors in the field.” teenth place finish. Junior James Simms see CROSS, page 30 Page 30 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS October 14, 2003 Volleyball Comes Back Home With Big Wins Women’s from FIELD, page 28 Soccer Wins They are steady players that I know I can always count on,” Waclawiak stated. from SOCCER, page 36 UMBC opened the America East sea- outscoring their last four opponents 7-1. “The son in grand fashion. It took the team all last four games have been excellent.” five games to beat the Binghampton Backfielder Mary Hearin said after Sunday’s Bearcats 30-26, 28-30, 28-30, 32-30, 15- game. “They have been total team efforts, 13. When it looked like the Bearcats would we’ve woken up offensively and taking advan- take the match in four games, the Lady tage of must win games.” Retrievers came storming back to force a Though offense has been an important fifth game. With everything on the line the part of the Retrievers’ recent successes, it is Lady Retrievers came out champions 15- easy to forget Robin Barbaris’ stone cold net- 13 in the last set. minding and UMBC’s hard nosed defense. Gross, Davis, and freshman Jessie Barbaris made seven saves over the last week, Folk had solid performances in the win. and gained her second solo shutout against the The volleyball team now stands with an Catamounts (She shared Wednesday’s shutout overall record of 13-8. with Kelly Lizon.). She has frustrated offenses Head coach Greg Giovanazzi is clos- with 339 scoreless minutes. The backfield has ing in on 150 career victories as he cur- contributed to Barbaris’ success; Carolyn rently has 142. Giovanazzi was a head Patton, Jessica Golibart and Mary Hearin have coach at Michigan where he compiled a harassed the opposition with impressive phys- record of 129-123. ical play. “I have learned a lot from the coach- “We are getting on a roll at a very good ing staff and I know that my teammates time.” Salmon said with a mile wide grin on feel the same way. Without them we her face after the Vermont game. “Vermont wouldn’t be where we are today,” was a tough opponent, but we’re doing all the Waclawiak said. little things and playing very well right now.” File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff The volleyball team will next travel to The Retrievers have two home games this Junior Jocelyn Teoh high-fives freshman Andrea Clarke after getting High Five: play at Albany on Friday and at week, Wednesday at 1:00 against Vermont, the kill. Northeastern on Saturday. and Monday at 2:00 against Navy. Conference play continues at Binghamton next Thursday. Field Hockey Falls to the Mountain Hawks Cross Country from FIELD, page 28 didn’t execute properly showed just how Looks Strong much the ball wasn’t bouncing the right from CROSS, page 29 way during this game for the Lady Retrievers. ran the course in 33:58.00 landing him at Moore scored her fourth goal of the 55. season and has been a consistent per- The runners on the ‘B’ team made former all year. “She really has been their bid to participate in future meets consistent this season and has stepped it with their strong showing on Saturday. up for the team, which is a pleasant sur- With the team continuing their prepara- prise,” Rowe stated. “As long as we tions for the conference championships, improve through the remaining games, the first place finish by UMBC is an we should produce good results if we encouraging development in their quest to keep improving the way we have in the be champions of the America East. The last couple of games,” Rowe explained Retrievers will try and continue their when talking optimistically about the improvement next week in the Lafayette future. Invitational. Next week’s meet will be the The UMBC field hockey team will last one prior to the conference champi- be on the road for two games in the com- onships followed by the NCAA champi- onships. The cross country team will be ing week. First, they travel to Albany, File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff looking to end the season on an even New York on October 18 and then they Big D: Junior Leslie Chilcote steals the ball from her opponent. The Lady higher note after this week’s encouraging head to Siena on October 19. Retrievers fell to the Hawks 2-1. performance.

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Women’s soccer plays the Vermont. 30 Volleyball comes back home. 28 Sports Men’s soccer plays hard in AmEast. 35 Kings of the Soccer Field Men’s Soccer gets a 2-2 Draw and a 2-0 Win

Going up against the DAVID JUN Binghamton Bearcats, UMBC Retriever Weekly Staff Writer accepted the awful reality of a 2- 2 draw. Graham Munro of In the second half, sopho- Binghamton received a penalty more backer Matt McGowan ran kick from the referee even down the left side of the field though the referee was standing and hit a well-timed pass over to the farthest away from the play junior midfielder Derek than the other referees. McElligott, as he kept his scor- The draw managed to negate ing streak alive by promptly an excellent second half effort kicking the ball right into the by the Retrievers in which they net. McElligott scored a goal for scrambled furiously for a victo- the fifth straight game as the ry. “In the first half, we were a men’s soccer team continued to little slow getting out of the celebrate a season where little gates, but by the second half we can go wrong. were working hard as a team, The goal was the first of two managed to score two goals and goals that the Retrievers put on clearly we dictated the tempo of the scoreboard in a game at the game,” head coach Pete Vermont. The second goal for Caringi exclaimed in regards to UMBC was scored by sopho- how the team played in the more backer Marus Gross on the Binghamton game. “I thought it first penalty kick of the season. was quite unfortunate that such a great team effort had to be wast- The host Catamounts were Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff shutout by a stout Retrievers ed by a penalty kick. Gutting it out: Derek McElligott scrambles for the ball in recent soccer action. defense that was headed by sen- ”Sophomore goalkeeper Andy ior midfielder Justin Nall. “We Marchica had to make only one are generally a defensive-mind- save for the Retrievers against season with 13 goals and third- how important McElligott is to McGowan reflected upon the ed team although Derek is cer- Vermont as an array of wide all time for UMBC men’s soccer the team. “We have only lost one season. UMBC out-shot tainly more offensive-minded shots missed the crossbar and he with 35 goals. “We can count on time this year, so we have got to Binghamton 13-11 and out-shot than defensive-minded. Our made four saves against Derek on a consistent basis and be doing something right. The Vermont 17-11. The UMBC team has used defense to gener- Binghamton. of course he is our best scorer. only loss we have had this sea- men’s soccer team will take on ate offense,” Nall stated. McElligott entered the When you need someone to step son was also against the fourth Stony Brook on October 15 and Murmurs of shrieks and groans Vermont game as the second up in the game, he is there for ranked team in the nation, so we New Hampshire on October 18 arose from the home crowd. leading scorer in the nation this you,” explained McGowan about are certainly playing well,” at the UMBC Soccer Pitch. Inspired Play Leads Women’s Soccer Past Albany and Vermont

BY DOUGLAS MYERS UMBC would follow up their Retriever Weekly Staff Writer impressive victory by blanking a dangerous Vermont team this Women’s soccer has exceeded Sunday. Missy Moore scored the expectations lately, notching their only goal of the contest after the third and fourth straight victories Retrievers applied intense pressure against two dangerous conference against the Catamounts towards the competitors. The Retrievers defeated end of the first half. She drilled a Albany (1-12-1, 0-4) 3-0 last loose ball from eight yards out, bag- Wednesday, then went on to shutout ging one inside the left post at the a dangerous Vermont team (5-4-3, 1- 40th minute. The Retrievers with- 2-1) on Columbus Day 1-0. After a stood a fierce Vermont counterattack ghoulish start to their season, drop- towards the end of the game to gain ping five straight, the Retrievers the victory. have roared back into playoff con- “The freshmen are definitely tention with an impressive two week stepping up, with some tremendous campaign. senior leadership.” Coach Salmon UMBC played a marvelous said after Wednesday’s effort. “Not game against the Great Danes off of just that, every practice and every an inspiring effort from their fresh- game our team just gets better and man class. Elizabeth Day and stronger.” Amanda DiCarlo would score their The women’s soccer team has a first collegiate goals against a porous confident new look to them. The Albany Defense. Day rebounded a Retrievers are taking more chances Carolyn Patton shot off the crossbar offensively; after an offensive and into the goal at 14:18. DiCarlo, drought at the beginning of the sea- who didn’t start, headed a Kelly son, they have outshot their oppo- Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff Fiorani pass at 57:03 and knocked in nents 37-14 in the last two games Throw in: Senior Kristin English prepares to throw the ball in. She has given the team solid play all a second goal at 73:57 after receiv- see SOCCER, page 30 season. ing a pass from Kristin English.