Ed 340 986 Author Title Institution Spons Agency

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ED 340 986 CG 023 943

AUTHOR Walz, Garry R., Ed.; Bleuer, Jeanne C., Ed. TITLE Developing Support Groups for Students: Helping Students Cope with Crises. INSTITUTION ERIC Clearinghouse on Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Mich. SPONS AGENCY Office of Educational Research and Improvement (ED), Washington, DC. REPORT NO ISBN-1-56109-040-9 PUB DATE 92 CONTRACT RI88062011 NOTE 198p.; For Modules 1/2 and Module 3, separately analyzed, see CG 023 944-945. AVAILABLE FROMERIC/CAPS, 2108 School of Education, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI 48109 ($16.95; quantity discounts). PUB TYPE Guides - Non-Classroom Use (055)

EDRS PRICE MF01/PC08 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS *Coping; *Crisis Intervention; Elementary School Students; *Elementary Secondary Education; Program Development; Program Implementation; School Counseling; Secondary School Students; *Social Support Groups; Stress Variables IDENTIFIERS Gulf War

ABSTRACT This monograph has been designed to meet the needs of students and schools for viatle approaches to the growing stresses they must contend with in today's society. Its purpose is to respond to an expressed need for:(1) a collection of the best available resources on developing student support groups;(2) information on and examples of effectively functioning programs and practice other than support groups;(3) suggestions on how to design and implement programs; and (4) information on already evaluated resources--a way. of finding out in advance if a particular resource is what they want. The monograph has been organized as a "kit" of six modules, each of which is capable of standing alone even while being part of a comprehensive program. The articles which make up the bulk of the document are all contained in the first three modules. Module 1 presents six articles designed to help the user broaden his/her perspective on student fears and crises. Module 2 presents 17 articles to help the user identify programs and practices useful in helping students cope with those fears and crises. Module 3 presents seven articles on developing and offering student self-help support groups. Module 4 offers a brief, step-by-step guide to designing and implementing student support programs. Aodule 5 contains 64 brief abstracts of significant resources. Module 6 lists sources for assistance an0 consultation. An appendix describes the ERIC system. (ABL)

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U II DEPARTMENT OFEDUCATION Office of EducaliOnal Researchand Improvement EDUCATIONAL RESOURCESINFORMATION ....-111.1ba CENTER (ERICI - OThis document has beenreproduCed IS received from the personor organaetion Originating it been made to improve (71 Minor changes have reproduCton Quality

Points of view or opinionsstated in this d0Cu merit do not necessarilyrepresent official OERI pOsitiOn or policy

2 REST COPY AVAILABLE Developing Support Groups for Students

Helping Students Cope With Crises

Garry R. Walz and Jeanne C. Bleuer, Editors

All tights reserved.

ERIC Counseling and Personnel ServicesClearinghouse 2108 School ofEducation The University of Michigan Ann Arbor, Michigan48109-1259

ISBN 1-56109-040-9

This publication was prepared with partialfunding from the OfficeofEducational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education under contract no.RI88062011. The opinions expressed inthis report do not necessarily reflect the posidons or policiesof OERI, the Department of Education, orERIC/CAPS. Not only does everyone fear but all should fear. The pedagogic problem is not to eliminate fear but to gauge it to the power of proper reaction.

G. Stanley Hall

5 Dedication

This work is dedicated to the thousandsof students who must regularly cope witha multitude of personal crises and challenges, frequently without recognition ofor assistance with the stresses they must endure. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

What started out to be a relatively straightforward Penny Schreiber, for her usual superior job of task of collection and organization of resources has editing and many important contributions; turned out in practice to be something far more challenging to produce and we believe of much Kathy Bidelman, for her uncanny skill in obtaining greater utility. Without the major contributions of resources and unwillingness to ever accept a "no" the following persons, this publication would not answer, have been possible: Chris Eldred, for her availability and competent Caroline Mohai, for her insightful and unrelenting help whenever a problem or need arose. search for useful products and resources and their organization into a useful form; Pat Wisner, for another demonstration of her extraordinary skill in desktop publishing and her ability to take copy and make it into a highly attractive and organized publication; TABLEOF CONTENTS

Preface xiii

About the Editors xv

Introduction 1

Module 1: Helping Students Cope With Fears and Crises 3

Worries of Elementary School Students 5 Jeremiah A. Crowley

Fears are Natural Part of Growing Up 9 Lawrence Kutner

How Children Grieve: Implications for Counseling 11 Helene Mc Glatein

Helping Children Cope With War 21 Jenni Zimmer The Gulf Crisis: Student Concerns, Teacher Responses 25 Counselors, Teachers, and Death Education 29 Richard C. Nelson

Module 2: Programs and Practices for Helping StudentsCope With Fears and Crises 35

Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Moael 37 Edward H. Robinson, Ill, Joseph C. Rotter, Mary Ann Fey andSandra L. Robinson Children and Crises: A Developmental Guidance Approach 49 John Allan and Eileen Anderson 11 rips: Talking With Your Child About War 57 Elizabeth Crwy Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm: A Special Handout for Parents 61 Debby Waddell and Alex Thomas Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm: A Special Handout for Teachers 65 Debby Waddell and Alex Thomas Responding to Student or Thacher Death: Preplanning Crisis Intervention 69 James R. Sorensen

ix Developing Support Groups for Students

The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers:With and Without Peer Support Groups 71 Ross E. Gray Parent's Away Group: An Ongoing SupportGroup for Children in Grades K-6 79 With Deployed Parents Julie Murphy and Vermelle J. Matthews Responding to Suicide in Schools: A Case Study in LossIntervention and 83 Group Survivorship Ellen S. Zinner "Strossing" Relaxation in the Classroom 87 Iris Prager-Decker The PEACE Process: A Modified Senoi Techniquefor Children's Nightmares 95 Janece 0. Hudson and Carol O'Connor Teaching Children About Death 101 Marjorie Brookshire and Melody P. Noland 105 Using Guided Fantasy With Children Ron F. Anderson 111 Rechanneling Anxieties Gerard Giordano 115 Do More Than Tie a Yellow Ribbon American Association for Counseling andDevelopment Essential Elements of a 'Teacher In-Service Program onChild Bereavement 119 Bruce Cunningham and Jan Hare Responding to Children's Feats About War 125 Jenni Zimmer

Module 3: Developing and OfferingStudent Self-Help Support Groups 129

Youth Engaged in Self-Help: A Guide forStarting Youth Self-Help Groups 133 Mary K. Parkinson and Nancy Sax Introducing and Tapping Self-Help MutualAid Resources 149 Catherine J. Paskert and Edward J. Madara Community Post-Tornado Support Groups:Conceptual Issues and Personal Themes 153 Thomas E. lime and Wayne C. Richard 157 Coping With Desert Storm: Ideas for Startingand Running a Self-Help Support Group Jaal Fischer 161 Desert Storm: Hints for Happy Homecomings boa! Fischer and Deborah Langsam Self-HelpAnd How We Teach Tomorrow 163 Edward J. Madara When Someone's Away: An Ongoing SupportGroup for Students in 165 Grades 7-12 with Deployed Parents andFriends Marlene L. Bowling, Carolyn S. Dongesand Barbara Stock Nielsen

9 x Table of Contents

Module 4: Designing and Implementing Student Support Programs 173 Garry R. Walz

Module 5: Abstracts of Significant Resources 177

Module 6: Sources for Assistance and Consultation 189

Appendix: The ERIC System 195

1 1) xi PREFACE

If the news were always good, there would be no Personnel Services Clearinghouse has been designed need for student support groups. Unfortunately, to meet the needs of students and schools for viable school children are being increasingly exposed-- approaches to the growing stresses and crises they both directly and through the mediato stressful must contend with. ERIC/CAPS has assembled a events that can undermine their ability to concen- highly useful body of ideas and approaches which trate on their studies. The Persian Gulf War and the offer immediate hope and assistance to schools in economic recession, while dramatic illustrations of responding to student fears and major social and events that can cause disruption and trauma in the environmental crises. It will be equally useful to lives of children and their families, are only two both the school with extensive student support such examples. On a daily basis, children across services that desires to build on and enhance its America personally experienceor experience present services, and the school without many vicariouslythe effects of crime and violence, drug student services that wishes to design and imple- and alcohol abuse, accidents, and family crisis ment a viable program. brought about by joblessness or divorce. In the event that a situation occurs where yuu Educators and the mass media have become more need to provide or expand support services to ensure aware of the toll that stressful events have on the the continued academic progress of your students, emotional well being and ability of children to we hope that Developing Support Groups for attend to their studies. Increasingly, schools and Students will prove to be an invaluable resource. communities with the "know-how" and financial resources are offering support groups to help Robert M. Stonehill children better manage their fears, to overcome a Director, Educational Resources sense of personal powerlessness, and to again Information Center (ERIC) believe that they can have a safe and secure life. The monograph Developing Support Groups for Students prepared by the ERIC Counseling and ABOUTTHE EDITORS

Garry R. Walz, Ph.D., is Director of the ERIC Jeanne C. Bleuer, Ph.D., is the Associate Director Counseling and Personnel Services Clearinghouse of the ERIC Counseling and Personnel Services and Professor of Higher and Adult Continuing Clearinghouse at The University of Michigan. She Education at The University of Michigan in Ann has been a counselor, teacher, and researcher/ Arbor. He has served as Director of ERIC/CAPS program evaluator in a variety of educational set- since its inception in 1966. He is also a past chair of tings including elementary and secondary schools, the Department of Guidance and Counseling and the community agencies, and residential treatment director of numerous funded research and develop- centers for dependent/delinquent youth. Dr. Bleuer ment projects and training institutes in counseling has designed numerous national, state, and regional and human services. A prolific author, he has also workshops, all aimed at helping counselors enhance served as President of the American Association for the effectiveness of their counseling programs and Counseling and Development and the Association activities. for Counselor Education and Supervision. He was honored in 1988 as a Distinguished Scholar by Chi Sigma Iota and was previously awarded the coveted Kathleen and Gilbert Wrenn Humanitarian Award.

I 9 XV INTRODUCTION

Background South Carolina, or a localized community catastrophe such as a car accident involving multiple student ' esert Storm and the overseas deployment of fatalitieswas responded to as a unique event with American service personnel occupied prime little apparent effort to learn from past experiences. 0time on TV and monopolized newspaper We were also surprised at the dearth of information headlines for many months in both 1990 and 1991. on appropriate responses for Paling with the general- The media concentrated its attention on the diplo- ized fears and anxieties of students during catas- matic and military aspects of the conflict. trophes and the helping roles that different school Another important area less well covered by the personnel can play. There were many useful resources media was the impact of the military and diplomatic available, but they were hard to find. moves on the American family, particularly the sons Schools with limited financial and staff resources and daughters of military personnel many of whom were also a concern of ours wher we conceived this experienced severe family disruption as the result of monograph. While schools with a well-established the military deployments. Of particular importance cadre of trained counselors and other helping per- was the effect of the family disruption upon the sonnel can put together a creditable response to a behavior and school performance of students across major crisis, schools of limited resources with a small the country. Whereas some families had one or more counseling staff are often able to mount only a limited family members directly involved, others worried effort to help their students. about when their family member would be called. Even for well established schools, however, the For a far larger number of persons the war gener- task of regularly helping students cope with the type ated diffuse fears and anxieties which negatively of crises previously mentioned here as well as those impacted on children and adolescents who had no related to crime and violence, drug and alcohol abuse experience dealing with such fears. At ERIC/CAPS and divorce, is a daunting one. As we write this Intro- we received numerous requests for information and duction, General Motors Corporation has announced resources for helping students to cope with the fears massive layoffs brought on by unprecedented plant and anxieties brought on by Desert Storm. closings and downsizing of the work force. Already Interestingly, we had already come to the realiza- reports are surfacing of the impact of the layoffs on tion that the many natural disasters and human calam- parents and lrildren and of the disruption it brings to ities in our society were having such chilling effects their lives. Uthers spared for the moment are experi- upon students in nearby schools that we were already encing anxiety wondering if and when it will happen in the process of developing a publication called to them. The great uncertainty about the future Helping Students Cope With Fears and Stress by commonly expressed by adults today has a whiplash FAiward Robinson, Joseph Rotter, Mary Ann Fey, and effect upon children and adolescents who fear they Kenneth Vogel. These authors had worked with the may end up without a home, a place to sleep or food U.S. State Department preparing materials to be used to eat. with overseas dependent children. In both instances, the Gulf War and natural disasters, we were struck by how unprepared schools Rationale for Student Support Groups were to help their stuilents deal with the crises unfolding around them. Each catastrophebe it a AF we as a nation extend our commitment to educa- broadsc ale one such as the tornado which struck tion and adopt the President's goals for education, we

1 Developing Support Groups for Students

need to be mindful of the toll that fear and distress can which we can pull out actual ideas and materials" was have upon student classroom and academic perfor- the battle cry directed at us. Central to all of the mance. Distressed, fearful students are notgoing to be feedback we received was the notion that such a able to do their best academically. We are not fulfill- fantastic resource was never going to happen. They ing our commitment as a country to offer excellence had been disappointed too many times in the past! in education if students are left to their own resources Ailer our discussions with potential users, our to cope with the unforeseen crisesthat the majority marching orders were clear: Produce a resource that will experience in their school years. Ignoring the meets different user needs; ispractical rather than fears and distress generated by crises can result in theoretical in focus; offers a variety of approaches for consequences such as premature schoolleaving, poor assisting students with a wide range of fears, crises school performance, depressed career aspirations and and challenges; and offers a wide range ofbackup drug and alcohol abuse. Over the long term, the unre- resourcesincluding personal consultation. That has solved fears and distress of our students may result ;n been both our vision and our agenda. a nation of fearful adults,unwilling and unable to accept the challenges and assume therisks necessary for our country to become competitive again. Major Writing Decisions In responding to the challenge"that such afantastic What School Personnel Wanted resource was never going tohappen"we made several important decisions. We were motivated to undertake the developmentof 1. Organize the contents into a kit of modules the support group modules for all the reasonsjust which could stand alone, even while being part cited here. In planning for the publication, we dis- of a comprehensive student support program. cussed the idea with numerous people and came away 2. Emphasize the collection of existingfield- with a clear sense of what was needed and wanted. validated materials and resources rather than First, people want a collection of the best available producing new, untried materials. resources on developing student support groups. 3. Provide complete, "full text" materials so Second, they want to learn about other ways to assist further search and retrieval is unnecessary. students in coping with crises in addition to student 4. Establish objectives for each module with intro- self-help support groups: They want examples of ductory observations aimed at orienting the effectively functioning programs and practices. Third, reader to the use of the module. they wanted suggestions for how to designand 5. Conduct extensive ERIC searches as well as implement programs. Fourth, they repeatedly stressed personal solicitation from schools and known the need for "evaluated resources"for having a way program developers so the resourcessection is of finding out in advance if a particular resourceis comprehensive and up-to-date. what they want. Most significantly, this needfor 6. Include material on "Hew to Use ERIC" so those resources extended to the desire to learnabout centers who are unfamiliar with the system can learn how and persons to contact and personally discusstheir to update and renew theirknowledge about interests and needs. student support groups. Whcther we have been successful in what we set What School Personnel Did Not Want! out to do is the reader's call, not ours.We encourage every reader to think of this as asupplement to what Equally clear was what school personnel didnotwant they already know about self-help groups. We also share their or need: Theoretical discussions on stressand crises, encourage anyone who uses this volume to extensive numerical compilations of need, publica- ideas and reactions with us. Your feedbazk canhelp tions presenting a single model or point of view, and us to improve this resourcein the future. long, unevaluated bibliographies or pages of brief abstracts were high on the list of what school per- Garry R. Walz sonnel do not want or need. "We want texts from Jeanne C. Bleuer

2 MODULE 1

HELPING STUDENTS COPE WITH FEARSANDCRISES

and how they can be met using a variety of resources and interventions must be answered. This module focuses upon helping the user broaden his/her perspective on student fears and crises. It lays the groundwork for building specific programs that are presented in Module 2. Most basically, it presents the view that a person's developmental history will deteimine her/his response to death and crisis. It further suggests that individual responses to events should be viewed from both an age norm (what are normal fears for a person this age) and the individual's own understanding and response to death, risk taking, am so on. Using this module will assist the reader in understanding students' fears and stress and to consider the different roles school faculty can play in successfully intervening at times of heightened fear and stress.

Introduction

Perspective is all important in developing student support groups. Qnstions relating to student needs

BEST COPY AVAILABLE

3 Worries of Elementary School Students

Jeremiah A. Crowley

Knowing what young people worry about can assist these learners on a depression test. It seems that counselors, teachers, principals, and parents to there is a negative relationship between worry and understand them better and to aid in their develop- academic achievement. ment. When school personnel and family members The purpose of this study was to ascertain what are aware of the concerns of students they can take elementary scheD1 students worry about most. steps that will help them cope with life and enjoy a certain measure of happiness. The world of elementary school students is not nearly as safe and Method protected as most people believe (Shapiro & Rylewicz, 1976). These young people experience a Elementary school students were asked to write their great deal of stress and anxiety. msponses to the question, What do you worry about To clearly understand what young people are most? They welt told not to sign their papers so that experiencing, it is important to realize that stress and anonymity would be maintained. A fiequency count anxiety are not interchangeable terms. Anxiety is of ad responses was computed. what people feel when stress is placed on thcm. It is The sample consisted of 438 students from third- a reaction to stress (May, 1977). Stress is the cogni- grade through eighth-grade in 11 schools in a tive component of anxiety that generally brings metropolitan area in the Southeast. The random about lowered levels of performance. This cognitive selection included 218 males and 220 females. The element is known as worry (Morris, Brown, & participants were drawn from seven inner city Halbert, 1977). schools, three suburban schools, and one private Morris, Finkelstein, and Fisher's research (1976) school. The study involved 86 third-graders, 103 of third-grade through eighth-grade students fourth-graders, 92 fifth-graders, 80 sixth-graders, 51 indicated that there is no significant diffeience in the seventh-graders, and 26 eighth-graders. amount of worrying that is done by males compared with females. Bauer (1976) found that 55% of sixth- grade students sampled expressed concerns that Results involved bodily injury and physical harm. Kovacs and Beck (1977) concluded from their study of Table 1 shows the dominant worries of third- seventh- and eighth-grade students that the higher through eighth-graders. A chi-square test indicated the rating by teachers of students' performance in no significant differences in the proportion of the classroom, the lower the ficores obtained by worrying by males compared with females. Studenis

1 G 5 Developing Support Groups for Students in the inner city schools, suburban schools, and the Discussion private school tended to worry about similar things. The percentage of students who worry about grades It is not necessary to discover the reasons why was consistently high across grade levels. This young people worry to assist them to resolve their concern was listed by 38% of third-graders, 44% of concerns. Ivey and Simek-Downing (1980) con- fourth-graders, 52% of fifth-graders, 61% of sixth- cluded from a review of the relevant literature that a graders, 69% of seventh-graders, and 58% of eighth- more effective approach was to teach anxious people graders. When concerns about injury to self are how to relax. Graubard (1978) pointed out that combined with worries about injury to or death of persons who are physically relaxed cannot be loved ones, the survey indicated that 5 1% of the anxious. Keat (1977) emphasized that knowing how students sampled were worried about bodily injury to relax will help children begin to solve their prob- and physical harm. lems in daily living. Graziano (1974) found that the Certain worries seem to increase with grade level. calm experienced by hyperactive students during Future education-vocation was a concern for 20% of relaxation training was extended throughout the seventh-graders and for 19% of eighth-graders. It school day and generalized to interactions with was not listed by any student in a lower grade. parents and siblings at home. Homework war, chosen by 27% of the students in The implications are that the types of worries the three lower grades and by 4 1% in the three experienced by the elementary school students in higher grades. this study may be alleviated through relaxation The results indicate that some worries are more training. They would learn that they could control prevalent at the three lower grades (third-grade, their reactions to stressful events and maintain a fourth-grade, and fifth-grade) than at the three state of calm and relaxation. The skills acquired may higher grades (sixth-grade, seventh-grade, and be generalized to other anxiety-producing situations. eighth-grade). Injury to self was a concern for 31% I recommended that a relaxation tape developed of lower grade students compared with 18% for the specifically for use with children be used in the higher level; injury to or death of loved ones, 29% training. The best results would be obtained from a and 15%, respectively; being yelled at, 24% and good script that is presented with the correct tone, 15%; and fighting, 20% and 13%. modulation, and rate of delivery. A high caliber tape

Table 1 Frequency of Occurrence of Worries Among Male and Female Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Graders

Source of Worry Males Females Total

Grades 117 108 225 51 Homework 75 65 140 32 Injury to self 66 50 116 26 Injury or death of loved ones 54 53 107 24 Being yelled at 32 43 75 17 Fighting 39 35 74 17

Note. The total number of participants was 438 students; 218 were malestudents and 220 were female students.

1. 7 6 Worries of Elementary School Students would not leave these important factors to chance. relax their "hands, arms, jaws, lips, nose, neck, The most appropriate type of tape, such as Self- shoulders, back, stomach, legs, and toes" (p. 5). The Relaxation for Children (Keat, 1977), would also muscle areas am relaxed in sequence. Only one area offer a variety of relaxation techniques. This tape, is concentrated on at any one time. Once the skill developed by Keat, teaches children to relax through has been mastered, students can abbreviate the learning to breathe properly, to tense and relax mus- technique by focusing on the area that is most tense. cles, to imagine pleasant scenes, to develop state- Elementary school students who are worried about ments that will have a calming influence, and to injury to self or injury to or death of loved ones will know how to blend all these techniques together. also learn to be calm and relaxed by participating in I suggested that students listen to the tape and the training. It is important for them to use all the participate in the strategies at least once a week until above strategies in training because their worries they have learned how to relax in stressful situa- tend to affect many aspects of their daily living. tions. A tape can be made available for those who They will probably benefit most by "stacking-the- desire or need to use it more frequently. The chil- deck" as much as possible in their favor. Even after dren should be encouraged and reminded to practice they learn to be calm and relaxed, it is recommended the techniques on a daily basis. Once the students that they continue to use regularly an abbreviated have mastered the strategies, they will be able to form of relaxation that involves many techniques. induce self-relaxation rapidly in an abbreviated The portion of the tape in which Keat trains partici- form. They will discover which strategy or combi- pants to blend all the techniques together may be nation of techniques works bcst for them. used effectively as an abbreviated form. He com- Learning to breathe properly will be helpful in bines relaxation of muscles with proper breathing, coping with the problems listed by the students. one's peaceful scene, and a calming statementall Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly generally leads performed within a few minutes. to a state of relaxation. Anxious persons tend to feel Because school personnel and family member tightness in their chests when they inhale deeply. have a special commitment to youth, they play Relaxation is experienced after all air is expelled important roles in helping elementary school stu- (Keat, 1977). Students will he able to practice this dents find a measure of happiness in life. Many technique without drawing undue attention to students need assistance in unleaming inappropriate themselves. A variation of this approach is to inhale behaviors and reeducation in life-coping strategies. deeply and tell oneself to relax while exhaling They can be taught to react to events, situations, and slowly. Eventually, relaxation may be achieved by persons in an appropriate and effective manner inhaling normally and telling oneself to relax while through the use of mlaxation techniques. Relaxing exhaling normally. and worrying are incompatible. The energy that is This techniquecombining proper breathing with dissipated through worrying can be channeled into a calming statementis appropriate for students higher levels of performance, problem solving, and who worry about grades and homework. They can more joyful living. use this method before, during, or after a test or assignment to help them cope appropriately and effectively with anxiety. A good follow-up proce- References dure, especially when pressure is on them to excel, is to allow themselves to think briefly about the Bauer, D. H. (1976). An exploratory study of most pleasant scene that they can imagine. developmental changes in children's fear. Journal These same strategies are useful in reducing of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied anxiety about being yelled at or fighting. In addition, Sciences, 17, 69-74. combining them with the technique of tensing and Graubard, P. S. (1978). Positive parenthood: Solving relaxing muscle areas of the body will help students parent-childconflicts through behavior to relax in hostile situations. The tape developed by modification. New York: The New American Keat (1977) trains young people to tense and then Library, Inc.

7 Developing Support Groups for Students

Graziano, A. M. (1974). Child without tomorrow. anxiety in preschool children. In C. D. Speilberger New York: Pergamon Press. & I. G. Sarason (Eds.), Stress and anxiety (Vol. 4). Ivey, A. E., & Simek-Downing, L. (1980). Coun- Washington, DC: Hemisphere Publishing seling and psychotherapy: Skills, theories, and Corporation. practice. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Pttntice Hall. Morris, L. W., Finkelstein, C. S., & Fisher, W. R. Keat, D. B. (1977). Child relaxation: Teaching (1976). Components of school anxiety: Develop- children how to relax (Manual and Script). mental trends and sex differences. Journal of Harrisburg, PA: Professional Associates. Genetic Psychology, 128, 49-57. Keat, D. B. (1977). Self-relaxation program for Shapiro, S., & Rylewicz, H. (1976). Feeling safe: children (Cassette). Harrisburg, PA. Professional Making space for the seg.. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Associates. Prentice Hall. Kovacs, M., & Beck, A. T. (1977). An empirical clinical approach towards a definition of childhood depression. In J. G. Schulterbrandt & A. Jeremiah A. Crowley is Assistant Professor of Raskin (Eds.), Depression in children: Diagnosis, Counselor Education at the Citadel, Charleston, York: treatment, and conceptual models. New South Carolina. Raven Press. May, R. (1977). The meaning of anxiety (Rev. ed.). This article originally appeared in the journal New York: W. W. Norton. Elementary School Guidance and Counseling and is Morris, L. W., Brown, N. R., & Halbert, B. L. reprinted with permission from the American (1977). Effects of symbolic modeling on the Association for Counseling and Development. arousal of cognitive and affective components of

8 FearsareNatural Part of Growing Up

Lawrence Kutner

he war in the Persian Gulf has made par- There are times when a child's fear is prompted Tems more sensitive to their children's fears. by a parent's attempt to prevent it, said Robert B. Young children may worry that the fighting will Brooks, an assistant professor of psychology at soon be in their backyards and that bombs may fall Harvard Medical School. "Sometimes a parent will on their homes. Older children may express their say, 'Don't be afraid of the dark,' when the child anxiety by becoming more aggressive in play. Yet hasn't worried about the dark," he said. children do not need extraordinary events to upset Other well-intentioned comments by parents can them. also be confusing or frightening. "If you make a big Children's reactions to the war may aggravate leal out of every time you separate, by telling your existing fears and bring normally hidden anxieties to child to be careful or even reassuring him that he'll the surface. Yet fear itself is a normal part of child- be safe, you may be perpetuating fears that your hood. child would otherwise master," said psychologist The things that routinely upset children of differ- Lee Salk, the author of several books on child ent ages give us insight into their normal growth and development. development. The timing and patterns of those fears The types of fears and the approaches to over- help us teach our children to become self-reliant. coming them change as children grow older. For 6-year-old Katie Corbett, the night can be a Toddlers' fears tend to be concrete: separation from time filled with fears. She is afraid a burglar will their parents, things they can see or hear like dogs or break into her house, or that there will be a fire and thunder. her 3-year-old sister will be unable to escape. Her Preschoolers and children in early elementary parents have been unable to reassure her. school are beginning to master abstract thinking. "She wants more than a night light," said her Their fears are of concepts, like ghosts, burglars or father, David P. Corbett of Brooklyn Park, Minn. being kidnapped. "She insists on having a lamp on in her mom as well The things they are afraid of are often symbolic as a light on in the hall. She's asked us to stay up and are best mastered thmugh symbolic responses. and watch her until she falls asleep, and insists that "The monster isn't really under the child's bed; we leave our bedroom door open." it's in his head," Salk said. These fears are com- While Katie's techniques for handling her fears monly prompted by the child's growing awareness are dramatic, the fears themselves are normal. of his own hostility and feelings of destructiveness. Parents who understand why certain fears appear at Even well-adjusted, sociable and sensitive chil- various ages can help their children overcome them. dren may harbor these feelings, which they find

9 Dev,loping Support Groups for Students

how surprising and upsetting. Yet the childrenwith the grandparent's home 500 miles away, talk about drive to where the war most bravado during thedaytime can be the most many days it would take to is. upset at night. be Simply shining a flashlight under the bed toshow Remember that children's fears can that there are no monsters seldomworks. Pre- prompted by arguments. This isespecially true schoolers will argue that the monsters arehiding when family disputes are loud orviolent. The fear of be so somewhere else. It is more effective to reassurrthe abandonment brought on by such disputes may address it directly and children that they are safe and that you will protect strong that the child cannot else. The best them from harm. will appear to be afraid of something "The bogeyman in the closet is often astand-in reassurance, however,focuses on the fear of being for other fears that the child hasdifficulty thinking left alone. their about, such as rejection by parents, ordeath," said "Children will become fearful when they see Charles A. Smith, a professor of humandevelop- parents losing control," saidLee Salk of New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center who isthe author ment and family studies atKansas State University. "If, instead of focusing on thebogeyman, you of several child development books."They reason, reassure your child that youlove him and won't if their parents can't handle thingsthemselves, how abandon him, then the bogeyman willprobably take can they protect me?" the like to a vacation." Don't use stories of bogeymen and frighten a child into behaving. "Frightening achild like that increases his anxiety a greatdeal," said Calming a Child's Fears child psychologist Robert B. Brooks."It tells the child that there are supernatural consequencesto his Psychologists recommend several ways parents can behavior." children over- help their children master their fears: Use books and stories to help Address your children's unaskedquestions. come their fears. Manychildren's books focus on going to school for This is especially important whenchildren are events that frighten children, like to a child, surrounded by war's images of violence. the first time or moving. Read the story the people in Children have three fundamental concerns:Am I including older ones, and discuss what safe? Are you, the people who carefor me, safe? the story were feeling. who is How will this affect my daily life?It is especially "By hearing a story about a character important to let children who have relatives or afraid and who conquers that fear, achild can fears," said friends in the Persian Gulf know that no matterwhat develop the courage to face his own develop- happens they will not be abandoned. Charles A. Smith, a professor of human Provide context for the violent orfrightening ment and family studies atKansas State University Wisdom: Using news you child sees.Watch reports on the war with and the author of "From Wonder to (Plume, 1990, your children. Concernsabout terrorism and news Stories to Help Children Grow" reports about sales of gas masks canbe especially $8.95). frightening. Emphasize that they are stillsafe at home, school and the other places they go.Children respond better to absolute statementsthan to expla- Lawrence Kutner is a columnist for theNew York nations of probabilities and risks. 77mes. Help your child understand howfar away the pennission from shooting is. Find understandable waysof talking This article is reprinted here with about distance. If it took you one day todrive to a the New York Times.

10 How Children Grieve:Implications for Counseling

Helene McGlauflin

American children encounter loss quite fre- child's life play in facilitating griefwork in the child quently in modem society. It is estimated (Bowlby, 1980; Fleming, 1985; Kliman, 1979; that one-third of American children will Osterweiss, Soloman & Green, 1984). Parentsare spend the first 18 years with only one parent, 1 in 20 understandably the most important adults for chil- will lose a parent by death before 18, 1 in 5 families d= at the time of a loss (Bowlby, 1980; Grollman, will move each year (Hayes, 1984), and that by 1967; Johnson, 1989; Lonetto, 1980), while mental 1990, 1 in 3 children under 18 will have divorced health professionals can be necessary adults fora parents (Cantrell, 1986). Also there are the natural family in crisis (Greenberg, 1975; Jewett, 1982). It losses families experience that few children can is therefore crucial that counselors and parents escape as a part of growing up, such as change of familiarize themselves with how children con- friends, loss of a pet, or birth of a new sibling. It is ceptualize death and loss, how children grieve, and now acknowledged that "grief is a normal reaction what concerned adults can do to facilitate healthy to loss, whether a person, place, thing or idea" (Fox mourning in children. This paper's intent is to Valley Hospice, 1987, p. 1), and for children, "no review the literature on how children grieve and the matter how trivial the loss, the same process must be implications this information has for counseling, to gone through each time" (Jewett, 1982, p. xiii). assist concerned adults dealing with children who In the past it was assumed children were unableto have experienced loss. grieve because adults assumed they hadno concept of death, could not compithend the loss, and would be unable to handle the pain of loss (Schell & REVIEWING THE LITERATURE Loder-McGough, 1979). However, information collected examining children's developmental In reviewing the literature available concerning how understanding of death (Nagy, 1959) has enabledus children grieve, it is evident that the articles cover to better understand how a child's concept of death three distinct areas important for consideration. develops over time and that children do grieve in First, information that addresses children's develop- their own way, based on their developmental mental understanding of death and how this influ- understanding (Bowlby, 1980; Center for Grieving ences the way they grieve; second, the specific Children, 1987; Fleming, 1985). knowledge about how children grieve, including Much of the literature which addresses grief in how it differs from adult grief, phases, and common children stresses the vital role the adults in the theates and symptoms unique to grieving children;

2 11 Developing Support Groups for Students

third, the many variables mentioned in the literature pioneering work of Nagy (1959) to explain a child's that affect how children grieve, such as how the concept of death (Bahmueller, 1988; Fleming, 1985; adults in the child's life handle grief, and the cir- Hayes, 1984; Jewett, 1982; Salladay & Royal, 1981; cumstances of death. These three areas together Schell & Loder-McGough, 1979; Wass & Corr, form a comprehensive framework for understanding 1982; Worden, 1982). There is general agreement the nature of children's grief. that the concept of death in children develops over time in distinct, identifiable stages, each with characteristic perceptions. Children's Concept of Death Stage One: Birth to Age Five. Generally, birth to age five was recognized as afirst conceptual stage There appears to be general agreement in the litera- in the understanding of death. The often-cited ture reviewed for this paper that it is important to researcher Nagy (1959), who studied 378 children in understand children's concept of death in order to Budapest to determine their concept of death, comprehend the nature of their grief (Center for labeled this stage "There is no definite death" Grieving Children, 1987; Fox Valley Hospice, 1987; (p. 81). At this age, them is no cognitive acknowl- Osterweiss, Soloman, & Green, 1984; Salladay & edgement or realistic picture of the permanence, the Royal, 1981; Watson, 1989). In the past it was often irreversibility of death. Death is often seen as an assumed that children must have a mature concept altered state of life, and is thought about in a magi- of death in order to grieve, an idea heavily influ- cal way or as a magical place. As one college stu- enced by Freudian theory. In the psychoanalytic dent relates about the death of her brother, "at the framework, mourning requites the ability to separate time it seemed magical, not sad. I was 4 and I self from the love object, have a mental representa- believed what they told me about him being in heav- tion of the deceased person (Osterweiss,Soloman, & en and that I would see himagain" (Bredenberg, Green, 1984), tolerate painful emotion through ego 1990, p. 1). Supernatural ideas of heaven and spirits strength, accept loss as pennanent and develop new am popular at this age for theyhelp support the idea ties after a loss (Fleming,1985). Because the that the person is "living" somewhere else and may Freudians assumed that grief requited such sophis- return; young children even worry abouthow the ticated death concepts, in the past children were corpse survives in the coffin. Itis an age when often overlooked as a population who grieved children easily blame themselves and circumstances (Schell & Loder-McGough, 1979). for what has happened. Seemingly unrelated events in more recent years the developmental theorists or behaviors the child engaged inbefore the loss are have posited that children perceive death in ways often given great significance, for they are seen as different than that of adults. These differences are tangible explanations for the causality of the loss due to children's limited cognitive structures, their (Arthur & Kemme, 1964; Wass & Corr, 1982). unique perceptions (Salladay & Royal, 1981) and Stage Two Ages Five to Ten. The next stage their difficulty in comprehending finality and identified in current literature includes children ages causality (Arthur & Kemme, 1964). This acknowl- five to ten. In developmental terms, it is an impor- edgement by the developmentalists has profound tant time when children acquire concretethinking implications for children's grief theory. By focusing skills, and desire a sense of autonomy (Salladay & on the differences betweenchild and adult death Royal, 1981). The effect this has on the child's con- concepts, the developmentalists have challenged the cept of death is profound: some magicalthinking psychoanalytic premise and given validity to the continues, but their new cognitive abilities are help- ability of children to perceive death in a non-adult- ing them grapple with the difficult concepts of final- like way and hence, grieve in their own way. ity and causality. Children at this age want to continue believing death is reversible, but are beginning (Watson, 1990). Developmental Theory to understand death's permanence Schell & Loder-McGough (1979) argue that children Much of the current literature relies on the develop- at this time are extremely vulnerable because,while mental theories of Piaget and Erikson, and the they are only beginning to understand the concept of

n_ 3 12 How Children Grieve: Implications for Counseling death, they can now comprehend the pain of the (Watson, 1990). In this stage the reality of death's loss. permanence is felt, yet ironically, the children's Child= at this stage also begin to wonder more idealism of the future makes their own deatha about how death occurs and what happens to the possibility, but incomprehensible (Wass & Corr body after death. This information is vital to their 1982). Many of the developmental gains of this cognitive processing of the event. As one girl,age period are highlighted in this quote froma paper ten, said, "I'd like to know just what happened and written by a college-age girl: how it happened. It would help me believe it really did happen" (Krementz, 1982, p. 57). Nagy (1959) Not until years later did I sometimes lay awake labelled this time "the personification of death" at nightstaring into the shadows and sobbing. (p. 89), for she discovered thatmany children Because I finally realized that even if they viewed death as a personage, waiting to take people hadn't lied about heaven, it was still a longway away. Many fears at this time are focused on the off...and there was nothing magical about decomposition process and possible disfigurement living without Ricky for the rest ofmy life. of the body (Schell & Loder-McGough, 1979; Wass (Brederiberg, 1990, p. 1) & Corr, 1982), and some children need to askmany Developmental theory and research on how chil- questions to alleviate these fears. A common theme dren perceive death has helped give validity to found in the personal accounts of children who have children's unique understanding of death. These experienced loss at this stage but overlooked in the distinct stages show the growing awareness children theoretical literature, is a child's extreme sensitivity develop as they age, beginning with a very limited to the feelings and thoughts of the adults around understanding of the fmality and causality of death them (Juneau, 1988; Krementz, 1982; Webb, 1979). and progressing to the more sophisticated ability to Many children mentioned not asking questions for comprehend the reality of death, the complexity of fear of upsetting an adult, while others ruminated emotions and a host of philosophical questions. and felt deeply without sharing this with adulis Understanding this development in children is (Krementz, 1982). As one nine year old shared, "I essential for grasping the unique nature of their was crying hard inside but only a few tears rolled grief, which is also developmental in nature. down" (Juneau, 1988, p. 68). Anotherconcern of this age often mentioned in personal accountswas the need to be accepted and treated normally by How Children Grieve peers: "It would help if your friends could just play with you and treat you like a normal person" The articles that specifically address the nature of (Krementz, 1982, p. 33). children's grief generally discuss four important Stage Three: Age Ten Through Adolescence. aspects. First, how children's grief differs from The last stage in considering a child's concept of adult's, based on their unique concepts of death; death includes children from age ten through adoles- second, the phases of their grief; third, emotional cence. It is in these years that the reality of death themes commonly occurring for bereaved children; becomes comprehensible, as childrencan better and fourth, normal physical, cognitive and behav- think abstractly about thinselves and the world. ioral reactions to a loss. Nagy (1959) named this stage "Cessation of Bodily Activities" (p. 96), because of the children'smore How Children's Grief Differs From Adult's sophisticated understanding of the biological realities of disease and death. Teenagerscan now Although very different from adult concepts, it is theorize about an afterlife with theirnew cognitive clear that children do conceptualize deathat an early abiiities, not in a magical way to explain causality age, and develop a more realistic picture as they but as a matter of personal belief (Salladay & Royal, reach adolescence. As a result, it is recognized that, 1981). It is a time when philosophic questions about "children do mourn and what is needed isto find a life and death are now possible and frequent model of mourning that fits children rather than

13 Developing Support Groups for Students

imposing an adult model" (Bowlby,1980, p. 101). Bowlby (1980) also noted in very youngchildren from the John Bowlby (1980) has done extensiveresearch on strong protest even in temporary separation how even very young children react toloss, and has mother with much crying and shouting. Thisphase pioneered the development of such a model.He has can be viewed as thetime children attempt to cope observed that the profound differencesin adult and with an overwhelming change in theirreality. child grief are related to children'slimited under- Acute Grief. After this initial shock has passed, standing of the world and their incrediblevulnera- the next phase, "acute grief' (Jewett,1982, p. 32), bility, and cites these distinctions:adults have comes, characterized by an arrayof strong emotions learned they can survive without the constant pres- from anger to despair, and feelings andbehaviors The ence of another, whilechildren have not; adults can suggesting intense searching and yearning. seek out a support network for themselves,while child may be preoccupied, restless, want tobargain children are left with what is given them;adults for the return of the lost person orobject, and be have room to grieve in their own way,while chil- very disorganized. It isoften this phase which lasts dren are influenced by the way theadults around the longest and is the most difficult onefor the them grieve and the expectationsabout grieving children and the adults close to them. placed on them. Integration of Loss and Grief. The fmal phase, Some unique characteristics of the grief ofchil- which Jewett labels "integration of loss andgrief" dren that distinguish it from that ofadults are: (1982, p. 40), is a time when the childrenreorganize children are repetitive in their grief, needing toask and integrate the loss into their lives, andseek questions and talk about similar issues againand meaning in the loss (Fox Valley Hospice,1981). for again; they act their feelings out physically;and they Acceptance and a sense of relief and strength always grieve as part of a family, notin isolation having survived are also common (Fox Valley while (Center for Grieving Children, 1987). Anotherinter- hospice, 1987; Salladay & Royal, 1981), esting quality is the cyclical nature oftheir grief, for Bowlby (1980) noted a detachment and withdrawal they process their losses at each developmentallevel by children in this phase. with the improved skills and acquiredknowledge So generally, the literature suggests aninitial time of each new level brings (Center for GrievingChildren, period of shock and alarm, followed by a resolution of 1987; Fox Valley Hospice, 1987). This canbe seen confusion and strong emotion, with a by comparing the examples fromBredenberg's sorts as the loss is integratedand accepted. One (1990) work: while the girl feels only themagic of commonly misunderstood aspect of the grief process Ricky's death at four, she feels the reality of theloss is its longevity. Jewett (1982) contends it takes6 to and two with the skills of a young adult when incollege. 12 weeks for the worst pain to diminish, years or more for theentire process to unfold. Worden (1982) supports this by saying griefwork Phases of Children's Grief takes at least one year, with two years not con- A number of sources have attempteddevelop to a sidered extreme. The personal accounts ofchildren framework for the phases of children'smourning (Juneau, 1988; Krementz, 1982; Webb, 1979) gener- with (Bowlby, 1980; Fox Valley Hospice,1987; Jewett, ally follow this theoretical framework, but 1982; Salladay & Royal, 1981), which occur todif- distinct acknowledgement that each childgrieves in fering degrees at all developmental levels.Presented a unique way withinthe phases and time frame. For of here are three phases identified by Jewett(1982): example, a number of children articulated a sense Early Grief. The initial phase, immediatelyfol- disbelief about death even years after the loss,when and the lowing a loss which Jewett calls "earlygrief' (1982, theoretically the initial phase is long past, this 12- p. 25), is characterized byshock, disbelief, a sense entire process is presumably complete. As of panic and alarm as the child'svulnerability year-old says, two years after a death, "It isstill hard becomes apparent, and denial, withrepeated refer- for me to_believe it really happened"(Krementz, ences to the return of the lost person,object, etc. P. 3).

14 How Children Grieve: Implications for Counseling

Common Themes for Grieving Children survivors; panic and helplessness; anxiety; despair; confusion and disorganization. Much of the literature discusses the large array of feelings experienced by children who are grieving Reactions to Grief in Children and what emerges are some general emotional themes seen in many of these children. Just as there is a broad array of feelings that can Abandonment. The most commonly cited theme occur during a child's griefwork, there is also a host for grieving child= is the feeling of abandonment, of physical, cognitive and behavioral symptoms that especially with the death of a parent. (Arthur & arise, unique to the individual and all quite normal Kemme, 1964; Bowlby, 1980; Center for Grieving (Center for Grieving Children, 1987; Soloman & Children, 1987; Fleming, 1985; Fox Valley Hospice, Green, 1984; Worden, 1982). Eating, sleeping and 1987; Jewett, 1982; Salladay & Royal, 1981; bowel disturbances are quite common, as are pains, Watson, 1990). Children experience a wide array of breathing difficulties, tightness in chest or throat, strong feelings related to this theme: great anger and fatigue, and oversensitivity to noise. Cognitive bitterness, assuming the leaving was purposeful; disruptions include disturbing dreams, various worthlessness and shame, assuming the parent did phobias, idealization of deceased or lost object, and not care; fear of separation from surviving adults hallucinations of seeing the deceased. Behavioral and lack of trust; sadness; loneliness, yearning and signs of grief can be withdrawal, restlessness, pining. As one 16-year-old girl says after the death uncontrollable crying, or a need to take care of of her mother, "It's a terrible feeling that a parent others. has died and left you alone" (Krementz, 1982, As the picture of how children grieve unfolds, it p. 47). can be seen that children's developmental under- Blame. Blame is another common theme for standing of death fosters a particular way of griev- children grieving (Center for Grieving Children, ing. It is quite different from adult grief, has identifi- 1987; Fox Valley Hospice, 1987; Hayes, 1984; able phases, and is manifested by a number of emo- Jewett, 1982; Johnson, 1989; Krementz, 1982; tional themes and an array of physical, cognitive and Watson, 1989). As noted in the above discussion of behavioral fractions. As noted earlier, children never children's developmental understanding of death, grieve in isolation and hence, these perceptions and causality is problematic for children, especially distinct ways of grieving are also subject to many before age 9 or 10. Reasons are needed for tangible, variables that are important in understanding the concrete explanations and blame is a natural out- complete picture of grief in children. growth: magical causes are imagined and children give power to words, thoughts and events occurring close to the loss. Feelings that occur related to a Variables Affecting Children's Grief sense of blame include: guilt, remorse and self- blame for things said, action taken or not taken; Children are a particularly vulnerable group at the anger at self, deceased or others; frustration; hatred; time of a significant loss, because of their depen- great sadness (Center for Grieving Children, 1987; dence on others for sensitivity to the thoughts and Fox Valley Hospice, 1987; Watson, 1989). feelings of the adults around them (Bowlby, 1980; Vulnerability. Vulnerability is also a common Krementz, 1982). Consequently, there are a number theme, for often a loss that changes some significant of variables discussed in the articles that have a aspect of the child's world upsets his or her sense of great impact on the griefwork of children. Five control and security in the world he or she knew significant variables are discussed briefly here: how (Jewett, 1982; Watson, 1989). Fears of others dying, the adults around the child handle the loss; the going new places, and catastrophes happening are developmental stage the child is in at the time of the quite common and children seek constant reassur- loss; the type of relationship the child had to the ance. Other related feelings are: intense love for the deceased; the quality of support systems available to

15 Developing Support Groups for Students

expression and the child; and the circumstancessurrounding the developed surrounding the suppression of feelings. Salladay andRoyal (1981) death. coined the term "emotional blackmail"(p. 208) to describe the following phenomenon: adults expect How Adults Handle the Loss the children to behave in a certain wayand judge do not "Nothing can be more crucial to themourning work their behavior as inappropriate when they Understandably, this of a child than the mourning workof the adults measure up to the standards. around him and their attitude towardhis work" can be confusing anddevastating for the child. (Kliman, 1979, p. 78). Many sourcesemphasize the Difficult as it may seem, it is vital the parent, important role played by the adults aroundthe "befriend the child's grief' (Fleming,1985, p. 215), children, especially the parents (Bowlby,1980; by accepting the child's own unique wayof grieving Center for Grieving Children, 1987;Fox Valley as a valid one. Hospice, 1987; Grollman, 1967;Kliman, 1979; Osterweiss, Soloman, & Green, 1984;Salladay & Age of the Child Royal, 1981). Given the realitythat the adult survivors of the loss are experiencingtheir own The age, developmental stage andemotional loss, including griefwork, it is not surprising children att sogreatly stability of children at the time of the their coping mechanisms, affected. past history of loss and Bowlby's Factors. Bowlby (1980) citesthree have a great effect on children'sgrieving. Children factors concerned with how adults handle/oss and under five are at greater risk thanolder children and great the effects on children's griefwork.The first is when because of their 1:mited understanding 1979; Fox and what the child is told abnut theloss. Bowlby need for care (Bowlby, 1980; Fleming, Soloman & (1980) advocates open, honest and clearcommuni- Valley Hospice, 1987; Osterweiss, cation about all details, in terms thechild can Green, 1984). Also, there is someevidence that at understand. Well-meaning adults sometimeskeep children who lose their same-sex parent are information from the child, believing thiswill save greater risk (Osterweiss,Soloman, & Green, 1984). them from pain, but this "protectivestrategy" (Fleming, 1985, p. 209) often leads toconfusion and Relationship to the Deceased fear. Open discussion without vagueness oreuphem- itlationship the chil- isms is considered healthier for the child.(Grollman, The quality and nature of the dren have to the deceased isanother important 1967; Jewett, 1982). closer the The second factor cited by Bowlby(1980) is how variable. Research suggests that the the the survivots respond to the loss, for atthis crucial relationship to the deceased, the 11101: difficult the relationship time, children rely on adults as their rolemodels in loss; griefwork is smoother when facing the challenge of grief. Adults areoften afraid was strong and securerather than wrought with Soloman, & of their feelings and hence advertently orinadver- tension (Bowlby, 1980; Osterweiss, tently discourage children from expressingtheir own Green, 1984). feelings. This factor was supported by manyof the children Krementz (1987) interviewed, who men- Support Systems tioned a reluctance to express theirfeelings, for fear available to of upsetting the surviving parent.Children need to The quality of the support systems have a great see the open expressionof grief in its many forms, children at the time of the loss can the adults to validate their grief and encouragethe process impact as well. Children fait better when when survivors (Grollrnan, 1967; Watson, 1990). around them grieve appropriately; for support; when The last factor Bowlby (1980) citesis how the do not depend solely on the child there is consistent adults expect the child to respond to theloss. Tradi- the environment is stable; when tionally it was believed children were not strong and loving caretaking; when otherrelationships can enough to cope with loss, and manyexpectations continue; and when they are includedin the family

16 How Children Grieve: Implications for Counseling

grief rituals (Fox Valley Hospice, 1987; Jewett, fully grieve without outside support, others have a 1982; Osterweiss, Soloman, & Green, 1984). more difficult time because of the presence of unfavorable variables or recent losses that trigger Circumstances of Death unresolved feelings about a past loss (Jewett, 1982). In these instances, counselors can employ a variety The circumstances of the death or loss :s the last of counseling strategies to help facilitate "healthy variable often mentioned in the literature. Sudden griefworic," defmed as the successful compledon of death, for example, is more difficult and suicide is the phases of grieving (Greenberg, 1975; Jewett, the most difficult for the survivors (Osterweiss, 1982). Soloman, & Green, 1984; Worden, 1982). Inter- views with grieving children, however, suggest that open communication can improve even these diffi- Counseling Strategies cult situations (Krementz, 1982). Specific counseling strategies will be addressed in four areas: the qualities of a counselor who decides Summary to help children with griefwork, the different elements important to grief counseling, techniques The broad array of articles reviewed in this section and activities that have proved helpful in this work, point out the complexity and uniqueness of the way and parent consultation. children grieve, and the three components of knowledge that are needed to understand the complete Qualities of the Counselor picture. Initially, and perhaps most essentially, a developmental understanding of how the concept of A number of sources stress the importance of the death unfolds for children as they age is necessary to counselor's manner, self awareness and knowledge understand their grief. Next, the specifics of how of bereavement in counseling grieving children children grieve, such as the phases of grief and how (Greenberg, 1975; Grollman, 1967; Hayes, 1984; it manifests itself emotionally, physically and Warmbrod, 1986; Watsox:, 1990; Worden, 1982). behaviorally, is also important. Lastly, some of the Griefwork with children is such a sensitive area it is variables that affect griefwork for children are vital essential that those working with these children be componems for those wishing a broad under- in touch with their own feelings, especially grief standing. These thret areas covered in this section around past losses, feared losses and personal have hopefully given the reader a sense of what mortality. For a counselor, communicating clearly concerned adults should know in order to help and effectively is also important, with an openness children grapple with their grief, and have provided to all the child's feelings, frequent eye contact and the foundation needed for mental health profes- physical closeness. Often the counselor's manner is sionals interested in supporting these children more important than any words used. Finally, through counseling. personal accounts of grieving children (Juneau, 1988; Krementz, 1982; Webb, 1979) suggest the importance of discovering how each individual child IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELING grieves, and what would be most helpful for that individual. This information on children's concepts of death, how they grieve and variables affecting the grief's Elements of Grief Counseling outcome have profound implications fur counseling, and a number of the articles reviewed for this paper Both individual and group counseling have been specifically address the importance of counseling for suggested as ways of supporting grieving children some families (Greenberg, 1975; Hayes, 1984). (Bahmueller, 1988; Center for Grieving Children, Although many children and their families success- 1987; Greenberg, 1975; Jewett, 1982; Warmbrod,

17 Developing Support Groups for Students

1986). Some authors identify stages in the counsel- information for the counselor, as it implies including ing process, some pinpoint topics for discussionand the patents in the grief counseling, if only in a con- others suggest techniques to be used. All, however, sultative role. The suggestions are largely echoes of recognize the importance of the following elements the above-mentioned strategies for effectivegrief- in grief counseling: work and counseling, and are directly related to the variables that affect childmn's mourning. 1. A time for announcing or telling the storyof Open communication between parent and child is the loss, including the details of when and how essential for healthy grieving. This begins with it occurred, feelings about how the child found honest and straightforward informationgiving, out and what part the childplayed in the without euphemisms, about the circumstances of the family rituals. death or loss. (Grollman, 1967; Watson,1990). 2. A time for remembering the lost person, place Often the information cannot be given all at once, or thing, including positiveand negative and the child may not respond immediately or qualities, times that were important or, things obviously (Lonetto, 1980). Parents are advised to be the child and the deceased did together, and available for the questions and wonderings of the acknowledging the times when the person, child and to exhibit patience when these are repeated place or thing is most missed. frequently (Fleming, 1985; Grollman, 1967; 3. A time for expmssing feelings of all kinds,in Lonetto, 1980). Communication also includesthe all their stmngth. many nonverbal reassurances thechild needs at this 4. A time for renewal and looking toward the time: physical closeness, warmth andlove, and futum, which means thinking about the child's consistency in caretaking and discipline(Fleming, stiengths and coping skills, identifying support 1985; Grollman, 1967). systems for the child, anticipatingthe diffi- Creating an environment that encourages the free culty of anniversaries and holidays, and the expression of feelings is also stressed in the litera- return of hope. ture. This means not onlyallowing the childmn to express feelings, but the parentsfmely expressing Techniques and Activities their emotions as well (Grollman, 1967; Watson, 1990). Parents are encouraged to: allow bothposi- Quite an array of techniques and activities were tive and negative memories of thedeceased; be suggested to encourage griefwork in children. z,ome honest when certain topics are too hard to discuss at authors suggested various writing activities such as a particular time; and reassurethe children that they books of journal keeping, writing poems, making can ask about anything, no matterhow upsetting. feelings (Watson, 1990) or drawing a time line with Finally, children's attendance at funerals was an important dates and events (Jewett, 1982).Other often-addressed topic in the literature, with most authors rely on different drama activities, such as supporting the notion that children shouldbe blowing away feelings with bubbles, releasing angry encouraged to attend (Greenberg, 1975;Grollman, feelings physically, the use of puppets (Watson, 1967; Salladay & Royal, 1981; Wass & Corr,1982; 1989), or guided imagery (Bahmueller, 1988).Art Watson, 1989). These authors contend funeral atten- activities such as collage making, clay, painting, and dance is a way for the child to be partof the family drawing were also mentioned (Jewett,1982; grief; it solidifies the child's place in thefamily, Watson, 1990). helps the child accept the finality of death,and provides a place to publicly grieve.Osterweiss, Soloman, and Green (1984) suggestchildren be Consultation with Parents encouraged but not forced to attend. This shouldbe of A number of sources provide suggestionsfor parents accompanied by a careful explanation beforehand in encouraging their own and their child's grief,and all the details of the service, and thefreedom to acknowledging the importance of the adult's attitude leave at any point. This idea is supported by the in healthy grieving for the child. This issignificant personal accounts of children, in whichfuneral

r, 9 18 How Children Grieve: Implications for Counseling

attendance was helpful for some, too upsetting for Bredenberg, S. (1990). Memory monologue. others, and missed by those who were not able to Unpublished class assignment, University of attend (Juneau, 1988; Krementz, 1982). In short, lbxas, Austin. children have unique needs at this time, and their Cantrell, R. G. (1986). Adjustment to divorce: Three needs and wishes should be considered when the components to assist children. Elementary School decision to attead a funeral is made. Guidance and Counseling, 20, 162-173. Counselors involved with grieving children can Center for Grieving Children. (1987). Training encourage healthy griefwork by their manner, being manual. Portland, ME: Author. aware of the elements of grief counseling, and by Fleming, S. J. (1985). Children's grief: Individual realizing the importance of parent consultation at the and family dynamics. In C. A. Corr & D. M. Corr time of a loss. In this way, these counselors can be (Eds.), Hospice approaches to pediatric care an invaluable resource for children at a difficult (pp. 197-218). New York: Springer Publishing time. Co. Fox Valley Hospice. (1987). Child grief: A teacher handbook. Bataira, IL: Fox Valley Hospice. CONCLUSIONS Greenberg, L. I. (1975). Therapeutic griefwork with children. Social Casework, 56, 396-403. Given the broad array of losses children may experi- Grollman, E. A. (Ed.). (1967). Explaining death to ence before age 18, such as death, divorce and children. Boston: Beacon Press. change of residence, it is important for counselors Hayes, R. C. (1984). Coping with loss: A develop- and other significant adults in children's lives to be mental approach to helping children and youth. knowledgeable about how children grieve and grief Counseling and Human Development, 17(3), counseling in order to better identify and support 1-12. those experiencing it. With this information, coun- Jewett, C. L. (1982). Helping children cope with selors can fulfill an important responsibility by iden- separation and loss. Harvard, MA: The Harvard tifying grieving children and helping them learn Common Press. healthy griefwork. Counselors can accomplish this Johnson, J. (1989, Spring). Guiding children thmugh by being informed about children's grief, utilizing grief. Mothering Magazine, pp. 29-35. counseling strategies for successful griefwork, and Juneau, B. F. (1988). Sad but ok. My daddy died insisting on parent consultation when a loss has today. Grass Valley, CA: Blue Dolphin Press, Inc. occurred. These interventions could mean the Kliman, G. (1979). Facilitation of mourning during difference between children who carry unresolved childhood. In I. Gerber, A. Weiner, A. Kutscher, grief indefinitely, and those who can face the D. Battin, A. Arkin, & I. Goldberg (Eds.), challenge of their grief with support and finally, Perspectives on bereavement (pp. 76-100). New resoludon. York: Amo Press. Krementz, J. (1982). How it feels when a parent dies. New Yoric: Alfred A. Knopf. REFERENCES Lonetto, R. (1980). Children's conceptions of death. New York: Springer Publishing Co. Arthur, B., & Kemme, M. L. (1964). Bereavement Nagy, M. H. (1959). The child's view of death. In H. in childhood. Journal of Child Psychology and Feifel (Ed.), The meaning of death (pp. 79-98). Psychiatry, 5, 37-49. New York: McGraw-Hill Book Co. Bahmueller, N. (1988). The crisis of loss and death Osterweiss, M., Soloman, F., & Green, M. (Eds.). as it relates to children. Unpublished comprehen- (1984). Bereavement: Reactions, consequences sive exam paper, University of Southern Maine, and care. Washington: National Academy Press. Gorham. Salladay, S. A. & Royal, M. E. (1981). Children and Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss (Vol. 3). death: Guidelines for griefwork. Child Psychiatry New York: Basic Books, Inc. and Human Development, II, 203-212.

19 Developing Support Groups for Students

Schell, D., & Leder-McGough, C. E. (1979). Webb, L. (1979). Death and the child in America Children also grieve. In I. Gerber, A. Weiner, A. today. In I. Gerber, A. Weiner, A. Ktitscher, D. Kutscher, D. dattin, A. Arkin & I. Goldberg Battin, A. Arkin & I. Goldberg (Eds.), Perspec- (Eds.), Perspectives on bereavement (pp. 64-69). tives on bereavement (pp. 101-119). New York: New York: Amo Press. Arno Press. Warmbrod, M. E. (1986). Counseling bereaved Worden, W. J. C. (1982). Grief counseling and grief children: Stages in the process. Social Casework, therapy. New York: Springer Publishing Co. 67, 351-358. Wass, H., & Corr, C. A. (1982). Helping children cope with death: Guidelines and resources. Helene McGlauflin is a guidance counselor at Washington: Hemisphere Publishing Corp. Edgecomb Elementary School in Edgecomb, Maine. Watson, J. (1989, November). Children's concept of She is also a hospice volunteer. death and related feelings. A panel discussion, Children and loss, conducted at Bath-Brunswick This article is also available in the ERIC system. Hospice, Brunswick, ME. The ERIC Document Reproduction Service Number Watson, J. (1990, April). How to facilitate groups is ED 326 789. for grieving children. A training session conducted at Bath-Brunswick Hospice, Brunswick, ME.

31 20 Helping Children Cope With War

Jenni Zimmer

War is disturbing. What happens when any Discussing War and Watching TV crisis of this magnitude occurs is that our whole psychological equilibrium or Questions often asked by parents and teachers are: balance is thrown out of place. The sense of security "Should I talk about the wall" "What should I say?" and safety in our lives is disrupted. But while we as "Should I allow my child to watch the news?" adults have a number of coping strategies, children Yes, we need to talk to our children and students are not as well-equipped. We need to help them cope about the war. And we need to be the ones to initiate with the new feelings they have. the discussion (as much as they might have the need, War with all of its dangers, tragedies and un- children will rarely open the discussion on their knowns puts us in a position of re-examining basic own). If children feel it is a subject we're uncom- assumptions. Our children's assumptions are shat- fortable talking about, it will increase their anxieties. tered, too. They no longer assume that they and their No matter how frightening feelings may be, it is far families are safe. The primary concerns of children more frightening to think no one is willing to talk are: "Will harm come to me?" and "Who will take about them. care of me?" In times of crises, children tend to become more The most common fears of children during war- observant, attentive and sensitive to the nonverbal time are: separation, abandonment, physical danger behaviors of the important adults in their lives. We or injury and death. Behaviors alerting us to such communicate much by our silence. fears include: clinginess, dependency and other We can start discussions by asking open-ended separation problems; nighttime problems (since questions as opposed to yes-no questions. We might going to sleep is a separation and a time when fan- ask, "What do you think about...?" or "What is it tasies seem vividly real); withdrawal; lessened atten- that concerns you the most about the war?" tion and concentration; acting out behaviors, such as It is safer psychologically to start with "thinking" bullying or teasing; regression to younger behaviors, questions before moving on to "feeling" questions, such as bedwetting and thumbsucking. such as "How do you feel about ...?" In reassuring children, the first priority is to let Once the door of discussion is opened, it is them know they are safe and that they will be taken important to let children know that we are accessible care of (specifically by you if that is the case). The and available, and to say so explicitly. At school, second priority is to let them know their fears are children may not be able to talk about their feelings normal and that they are not alone. in groups. Letting them know that you would be glad to talk with them individually if they'd like would be helpful.

r 9 6.4 21 DeveL9ping Support Groups for Students

If children are particularly reticent or reluctant to Knowledge gives security but it needs to be talk, we may try the following: strategically make a geared to the individual's level of understanding. We casual comment to them, try a brief three-minute need to talk very differently to a 5-year-old than to a discussion, or use displacement activities (books, 9-year-old. Children of different ages have different drawing or puppets). Through these more subtle, ways of conceptualizing their worlds. indirect means, our goal is to give them reassurance and normalize their feelings. In these discussions, we should let the children set Early Elementary Aged Child the direction and pace. We should listen carefully, caringly and observe. There will be a lot communi- The qualities of children in this age group are that cated nonverbally in their everyday behaviors, as they tend to be self-centered, are not able to verbal- indicated earlier, that will alert us to the fears. We ize a wide range of feelings easily and are interested can observe younger children's dramatic play to get in the here and now. They cannot relate easily to an idea of what they are feeling. things distant in time and space, and have a ten- While we want to open the discussion, we also dency to overgeneralize. Concerns will center want to take care to not raise new concerns in chil- around their safety and their families. dren's minds. This could be especially challenging Our responses should be to keep information on a in a group situation, where allaying one child's fears highly concrete level. We should personalize it when might cause another child to adopt those fears. The possible for greater meaning, and give simple spe- important point is not to add adult concerns to the cific reassurances. We should clarify make-believe situation. We should keep ours to ourselves. This is and reality. not to suggest that an adult should keep from sharing his or her own feelings. Indeed it is comforting for a child to hear from his teacher that she had the Middle Elementary Aged Child same feelings herself, for example during the Vietnam War. In this age group, cognitive development takes a Explanations and answers to questions should be dramatic surge from purely concrete to more kept to minimum. Once children realize the door is abstract thinking. These children are able to identify open, they will ask for mom information if they art feelings although they also are beginning to inhibit not satisfied. the open expression of them. They relate to things Sometimes old wounds are reawakened by new distant in time and space. Fear of ridicule and crises. Children, for example, who have experienced physical injury are common. the death of loved ones or separation from loved Our responses should be to provide information at ones may have a deeper reaction to the war. a more in-depth level. We should allow regression to Obviously, those children with relatives actively in younger behaviors, correct misinformation, address the war will be the most vulnerable group. emotions through displacement activities (use Carefully monitoring children's television viewing books, drawings, puppets) and give reassurances at of war reports as well as monitoring their viewing of the same level as for younger children. violent cartoons will help minimize their fears. Seeing people wearing gas masks could be disturbing imagery for children. Seeing the POWs Upper Elementary Aged Child could be alarming. For younger children who do not draw a distinct line between reality and fantasy, Children in this group are the most highly verbal, watching violent cartoons may stimulate fearful and are able to think more abstractly. They may be thinking. When children watch the news, parents increasingly awkward talking about emotions, should watch with them. This would be a good time especially in groups. Peer group influences become to provide information and to offer reassurance to strong, and bravado is important especially to boys. help calm the fears children are experiencing.

22 Helping Children Cope With War

They are interested in much more information and This is an opportune time, too, to focus on issues will seek it out on their own. of international conflict instead of just the war. Our responses should be to provide opportunities Talking about the broader context of values, coop- for research by individuals and by groups, to clarify eration, respect for self and others, and the apprecia- misinformation and to be alert to rumors and drama tion of cultural diversity would be meaningful. promoted by peers. We should give reassurance In all cases, children need to know that the adults even if children seem mature and not in need of it. in their lives will be responsible for them, will protect them, and will do what they can to make their lives safe. Discussing war and fears about what Action is Antidote might happen may not be an easy topic of conversation. But we owe it to our children's emotional Feelings of helplessness may be common. One clear well-being to open the door for discussion and to antidote to this is action. Doing something helps keep it open. children feel a sense of control. Simply talking about the issue and learning about it is one form of action. Going beyond this and writing letters to Jenni Zimmer is a school psychologist with the Ann political leaders, drawing pictures, sending letters to Arbor, Michigan Public Schools and the mother of servicemen, using windows to share a peace mes- three sons. This article is reprinted with her per- sage with the world am all ways children can take mission. action. In so doing, they tend to feel more powerful and, thertfort, more hopeful.

23 The Gulf Crisis

Student Concerns, Teacher Responses

What do students feel and Cast': And how could we help teachers sistently differed on matters of war and address student concerns? peace. More than 69% of the boys agreed think about events in the To find some answers, we surveyed that sending military forces to the Middle studentsinthe November issues of East was the correct thing to dobut Middle East? Are they Junior Scholastic, Update, Scholastic unly 48% of the girls felt that way. While News. Scope. Voice, Science World, nearly 48% of the boys said they'd vol- wortied, confused, scaredi Choices, Math, and Action. More than unteer to fight in the Middle East if they HOMO studentsin grades 1 to12 were old enough to serve, nearly 75% of o find out, Scholastic responded, and as you can see from the the girls said they wouldn't. In qucstion results of the survey (on page 4 of this after question, girls shied away from and surveyed more than supplement), the crisis is having a big criticizedthe use of militaryforce. impact on young people's lives. Indeed, almost twice as many girls (34%) 110,000 students in grades For a surprising number of students, as boys (19%) believed that there's no 1 to 12, then asked experts the Gulf crisis strikes extremely close to good reason for going to war. home. Forty percent of the students we to analyze the results. Here surveyed said they knew someone who REPORTING THE RESULTS had gone as a soldier to the Middle East; Taken as a whole, the Scholastic sur- is what we learned and 13% said a member of their family was vey is a map of the fears, concerns, and stationed there. hopes of America's young peopleand what you can do to help When asked how theyfelt about we'll be keeping the tesults in mind as American soldiers going to the Gulf, we create future materials dealing with your students deal with morethanhalfthestudentssaid the Middle East crisis. The results will "scared."Morethan a thirdraid appear in the February 1 student editions events in the Middle East. "angry." And while about a third (main- of Scholastic News Trails, Explorer, Citi- ly boys) said theyfelt proud about zen, and Newstime; the February student the U.S. presence in the Middle East, edition of Choices; and the February 8 WAR SEEMED IMMINENT another third (especially in the youngest student editions of Junior Scholastic, Sci- as we went to press with this grades) said they felt "confused." Many ence World, Scope, Voice, and Update. supplement. President Bush also felt "sad." In addition, we will be reporting the had sent more than 400,0(X) U.S. troops results of the survey to the national news to the deserts of Saudi Arabia, threaten- WAR WORRIES media and our country's leaders. ing to attack Iraq if Saddam Hussein Well over half the students were wor- Clearly, the Gulf crisis poses a num- didn't withdraw his troops from neigh- ried about the possibility of war, and ber of challenges and opportunities for boring Kuwait. The United Nations had nearly a third worried that someone in teachers. The inside two pages of this passed a resolution approving the use of their family or someone else they knew guide are designed to help you shape military force if the Iraqis didn't leave would have to fight. Younger students your responses to student concerns. Kuwait by January 15. Back in the U.S., voiced worries that the U.S. might lose a You'll find the material divided into public emotions (including our own) war with Iraq, or that Iraq would attack three sections: that which is applicable to were On a roller coaster, fueled by news the U.S. Older boys worried about being all teachers, that which is designed for of possible peace talks, heated debates drafted. teachers of elementary students, and that over U.S. policy, and fears of Hussein's The survey also asked older students which is designed for teachers of sec- unpredictability. In this volatile climate, for their opinions of U.S. policyfor ondary students. (Teachers of grades 4 to we at Scholastic kept wondering about example, whether they supported eco- 8 may find all sections helpful.) the impact of the Gulf crisis on Ameri- nomic sanctions, military force, or direct If you find this material useful, please ca's young people. What did kids feel peace talks with Saddam Hussein. Most feel free to reproduce extra copies for and think about events in the Middle striking was the way boys and girls con- your colleagues.

25 1.t- t) Developing Support Groups for Students WHAT THE EXPER SAY

VER the past kw months, more says. "Rather than being comforted, the Maintain an optimistic outlook. than 400,000 U.S. troops have student will feel that you, and other As Medway says, "The mood of the stu- been stationed in Saudi Arabia, adults, can't be trusted. That will increase dents is directly tied to the mood of the 0 his or her apprehensions." teacher." Comments such as, "We are poised on the brink of war with Iraq. Nothing like this has happened before in hoping that if there is a conflict it won't your students' lifetime. Be sensitive to your students' he long, and that few people will get How should you, as a teacher, address different needs. "Some kids are more hurt," can be very helpful. student concerns about the prospect of vulnerable than others," says Morton war'? What do you say to students who Deutsch. president of the Peace Psychol- talk about "nuking" Iraq, or who voice ogy Committee of the American Psycho- FOR TEACHERS OF fears about a parent being deployed, or logicalAssociation. "Your approach ELEMENTARY STUDENTS that the U.S. might lose, or that they should depend on the context. the ages, themselves might be drafted? How about and the experiences of your students." Elementary school teachers have a your own feelings? Should youshare A few studentsespecially those special obligation to deal with the Middle your opinions and politics, even if they whose parent or parents have been East crisis. Your students are struggling run counter to government policy? deployedmay beunder noticeable with issues of emotional security, and the Many school districts have guidelines stress, says Fredric Medway. a psycholo- threat of war, particularly when it's for dealing with controversial or traumat- gist at the University of South C'arolina vague, can stir up feelings of' intense anx- ic issues, and these may be useful in who studies how military and job separa- iety.That's especiallytruebecause addressing student concerns about the tions affect families. Troubie signs may young children tend to magnify and gen- Middle East. The following advice, include a sudden drop in grades, disci- eralize what they perceive as a danger. cleaned from a number of educators and pline problems, increased anxiety, or specialists, should also help. depression. Medway suggests referring Be specific about the nature and students who exhibit these problems to scope of the conflict. "By citing the Talk to your students about the school psychologist or an outside specific reasons for the conflict, you can events in the Middle East. This counselor. help your students see that adults are try- is the single most helpful step you can ing in a constructive way to deal with take. Find out what your students know Do not impose youi political these problems. and that war isnot about the subject and elicit their feelings views. "Students need information to inevitable," says Deutsch. and questions. "Then give them the facts help them think about and form their Children in grades 4 to 6, according as you understand them," saysBill own views," Levin says. "Imposing your to the Scholastic survey, were particular- McCloud, a 9th-grade socialstudies politics encourages intolerance."If a ly afraid of chemical warfare, an Iraqi teacher in Pryor. Oklahoma. and author teacher's spouse or child is deployed or it' attack on the U.S.. and nuclear war."It of What Should We Tell Our Children the teacher otherwise feels he or she all gets jumbled into feelings of hopeless- About Vietnam? "Trust your instincts and cannot be objective, Medway suggests ness for the child," says Levin. "That's trust your students." that a colleague may make a better dis- why it's important to let them know that Dr. Lenore Terr, child and adolescent cussion leader. we're not talking about a threat to the psychiatrist and author of Too Seared to whole world." Cry.suggeststhatteachersdevote Use the Gulf crisis to examine enough time to the Gulf crisis to make stereotypes and cultural differ- Include a discussion of who the enemy is. Ask your students how an sure that students'questions are ences. Many students see people from answered. That, she adds, could take the Middle East as one-dimcnsional Iraqi child their age might be feeling one period or a series of Is-minute dis- oilsheiks, terrorists, or camel-riding about the conflict. "By talking about the Iraqi people." says Deutsch. "the enemy cussion sessions. nomads. "Help students gain an understanding of and appreciation for the cul- will become less threatening and more Don't sugarcoat the topic to tural differences that exist among the human." avoid worrying students. "Kids region's people," says Deutsch. By help- already know a war is possible," says ing them see that different isn't necessar- Give your students prompt, accu- Dr. Edmund Levin. a physician in San ily better or worse, a teacher can dimin- rate information. Children in grades Francisco who specializes in child and ish stereotypes and encourage tolerance. I to 3 report being confused by the adolescent psychology. "The truthis Nearly 9 percent of the students sur- events in the Middle East, according to inevitably less frightening than the fears veyed by Scholastic said they know the Scholastic survey. They ask such they are dealing with." Avoid making someone who lives in the Middle East. things as "Why did Hussein invade false promises: for example. that no one You can encourage these students to Kuwait in the first place'?" and "Why is the student knows is going to die, or that share their knowledge and experience the U.S. in the Middle East'?'' In answer- the U.S. isn't going to war. "A bland as a starting place for a discussion On ing their questions, don't overwhelm reassurance is going to backfire," Levin cultural differences. them with too much information. -Give

1-%

a1 () 26 The Gulf Crisis: Student Concerns,Teacher Responses them only as much as they are asking Encourage students to research lions of troops stationed in a war zone. for," says Medway. "Also, emphasize and write about the Gulf crisis. (Write to: Any Service Member, Desert facts and references they can relate to." The conflict in the Middle East offers Shield, APO New York 09848-0006.) great opportunities for research and writ- You can also spur discussion of the ing projects, "Have students read or nature and consequences of war by FOR TEACHERS OF watch news items, and keep a timeline or screening movies like Glory and Born on SECONDARY STUDENTS bulletin board marking developments the Fourth of July. there,'' suggests Ron Peters, a Vietnam With older children, teachers can veteran and 9th-grade teacher in Pryor, Fight the Rambo mentality. Many move from short-term strategies designed Oklahoma. Students can writereports studentsespecially boyshave an atti- to reassure to cognitive approaches de- based on their research of such topics as tude toward Iraq that can be character- signed to inform. Basically, that means chemical warfare, U.S. energy policy, ized as "Let's nuke 'em." In grades 4 and helping studentsthrough discussions, and the U.S. role in foreign conflicts. up, some of the most frequently asked projects, debates, and instructiongain the questions in the Scholastic survey were knowledge to form their own opinions. Talk about the reality of war. "Why not just kill Hussein?" and "Why Older students' ability to sort out "Many students have a glorified view of not get it over with and attack?" information for themselves is reflected in war," says McCloud. "We can help them "You have to fight the Rambo mental- the questions they posed in the Scholastic understand that war doesn't come with a ity," McCloud stresses, "Talk about the survey. For instance, students in grades music scorethat it's not glamorous." matter-of-facl issues of war and that it's 7 and up asked such questions as, "Why McCloud suggests having students your neighbor who's going to be there. have oil prices gone so high if Kuwait correspond with men and women serving not Rambo." Laurence Thomas, a philos- provides only 20 percent of U.S. oil?" in the Gulf, By asking such questions as ophy professor and author of Living and "Why didn't the U.S. and other "What do you do every day?" and Morally: ,4 Psychology q Moral Cluir- countries do something to get rid of Hus- "What's your job?" students can get a acter, suggests examining the meaning of sein before now?" more realistic sense of the lives and emo- courage: Does courage always mean "blowing them away," as Rambo would, or can courage mean standing still for what you believe in, as Rosa Parks did WHERE TO LEARN MORE when she helped spur the civil rights movement by refusing to give up her seat BACKGROUND READING: curriculum for high school students, is to a white man. Children and War: Political Sot iali:atiim to also available ) International Conflict by Howard Tolley, The Lessons (4' the Vietnam War ,4 Modular Provide historical context. Some Teachers College Press, 1973, (How children Textbook by Jerold Starr, Center for Social studenh may be using the Rambo men- form their ideas about war.) Studies Education, 1988. Available for $35 from tality to cover up their own anxiety. The Living Morally: A Psychology of Moral Educators for Social Responsibility. (See address Scholastic survey found that the main Character by Laurence Thomas, Temple and phone number above.) emotion students feel about the Middle Open Minds to Equality: ,4 Siw e 8044 University Press, 1990. East, in all grades, is fear. That's under- The Moral Life of Children by Robert Coles, Learning Ailivines to Promote Race. Sex, Clas%. standable, McCloud points out: "Students Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986. and Age Equality by Nancy Schniedewind, The Political Life of Children by Robert Coles, Prentice-Hall, 1983. (Activities for students in today have never experienced a war. Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986. middle and high school.) Teachers can help them realize that Too Scared to Cry by Dr Lenore Terr, Teachers Resoume Guide: 17 Lessons on we've had wars in the past, and we've Harper & Row, 1990. (Childhood trauma, its Current U.S. Foreign Polfry Issuesliw Seondary survived." effects and treatment.) Siicial Studies Courses by Mary E. Soley, What Should We Tell Our Children About Jacquehne S. Johnson, Barbara Miller, Foreign Discuss the draft. One of the main Vietnam? by Bill McCloud, University of Pohcy Association, 1987. Available for $9.95 fears of older students centers on the pos- Oklahoma Press, 1989. from Foreign Pohcy Association, 729 Seventh sibility that a draft may be called, accord- Ave., New York, NY 10019; 212-764-4050. ing to the resulh of the Scholastic sur- CURRICULUM MATERIAL: (Teacher tested.) vey. "Even my junior high students are Anti-Bias Curriculum: Tools for Empowering Teaching About Peace and Nuclear War: A talking about 'What if they bring back Young Children by Louis Derman and the ABC Balanced Approach by John and Jaye Zola, the draft?" says Ron Peters. Task Force, National Association for the 1986. Available from CTIR Press, University of Laurence Thomas suggests using the Education of Young Children, 1989. For more Denver, CO 80208; 303-871-2146. (Strategies information, call or write the association at 1834for teaching controversial topics, suggestions draft to look at larger issues. For exam- Connecticut Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20009; for topics, and evaluation systems.) ple: Whatis our obligationtoserve 202-232-8777. our country? What does making a sacrifice Elementary Perspectives #1 : Teaching OTHER RESOURCES: for our country mean? When, if ever, is Concepts of Peace and Conflict by William J. There are numerous good books and movies for it justified to invade another country? Kreidler, 1990. Available for $15 from students on war: Books ranee from Dr. Seuss's "The teacher doesn't have to ansv.er Educators for Social Responsibility, 23 Garden The Butter Bottle Book to The Diary of a Young these questions or take sides. Let the St., Cambridge, MA 02138; 617-492-1764. Girl by Anne Frank; movies include Glory and students grapple with these questions (For grades K.6. Secondary Perspectives #1, a Born on the Fourth of July. without beingtoldwhat'srightor wrong," says Thomas,

27 .Nveloping Support Groups for Students SURVEV,.RESULT5 The Crisis in the Middle East More than 110,000 students responded to Scholastic's Middle East survey, demonstrating that students care about current issues, want to be informed, and have strong opinions that should be heard. Students in junior and senior high school were asked to answer all the questions. Upper elementary students were asked to respond to the first seven questions. And students in grades 1 to 3 were asked the first five questions. Due to rounding off, multiple choices, and the fact that some students didn't answer all the questions, the results do not always add up to 100 percent.

1. Are you a boy or a girl? 17% F. Other: Sad. worned. going to war? You may for going to war. nervous, don't care. check more than one answer. 51% Boy 49% Girl 7. In your personal 5. When you hear or read 22% A. To help a friendly opinion, what is the main 2. Do you know anyone the news about the Middle country. reason that the U.S. has who lives in Iraq, Kuwait, or East, what are you most 26% B. To make sure your become inv9lved in the crisis one of the other countries of worried about? country can get the in the Middle East? Mark the Middle East? 62% A. That there will be war. resources it needs cheaply 6'1" next to that reason. and easily. 9% Yes 91% No 28% B. That someone in your If you think there are other family or someone you 42% C. If your country's reasons, mark them "2," 3. Do you know anyone know might have to go citizens are threatened or "1" and so on. killed. who has gone as a soldier to there to fight. 34% A. To keep Iraq's Saddam the Middle East? 20% C. That people in our 20% D. If another country has Hussein from controlling 13% Yes, a member of my country will have to pay disobeyed international oil supplies. laws. family more for gas and other 8% B. To restore the things they need. 27% Yes, a friend61% No 35% E. To get rid of a government of Kuwait 9% D. That people in other dangerous leader in to power. another country. 4. When you hear or see countries will not 33% C. To stop Saddam agree with what the U.S. news about American 47% F. To protect your own Hussein from taking over is doing. soldiers going to the Middle country against attack. other countries East, how does it make you 8% E. Other; Soldiers and U.S. 29% G. To protect human in the Middle F..ast. citizens will die; nuclear feel? You may check more rights ift another country. 7% D. To prove that the war; chemical war; the than one answer. U.S. is still a world U.S. will bse or get 18% H. To help restore a superpower. 54% A.Scared 13% D. Excited invaded; getting drafted. government that another country overthrew 4% E. Other: To protect 32% B. Proud 36% E. Angry 6. Which of these do you by force. U.S. oil interests; to free 33% C.Confused think is a good reason for 27% I. There is no good reason hostages.

8. Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? AgreeDisagree Agree Dtsagree A. Economic sanctions keepMg important 63% 33% F. If necessary. the U.S. should use military 38% 58% supplies from getting into and out of Iraq-- are a force against Iraq even if the lives o( U.S. and good way of showing disapproval for what that foreign hostages would be endangered. country is doing. G. The U.S. should never hold direct peace 43% 51% B. Sending U.S. military forces to the Middle 60% 37% talks with Saddam Hussein unless Iraq gives East was the correct arid necessary thing to do. up Kuwait. C. Unless the crisis is resolved sooner. U.S. 48% 49% H. Other countries besides the U.S. have 40% SS% forces should ma) m the Persian Gulf region no done their share to resolve the crisis in the more than 6 months. Middle East. D. U.S. forces should stay in the Persian Gulf 54% 41% region unit! Iraq gives back Kuwait. 9. If you were old enough to serve in the mihtar), would E. it diplomacy fails to get Iraq to give up 53% 41% you volunteer to fight in the Middle East? Kuwait. the U.S. should use military force against Iraq 35% Yes 59% No

This article is reprinted with permission Scholastic Magazine.

28 S Counselors, Teachers, and Death Education

Richard C. Nelson

To be successful, death education requires need some help in that area. I think I've been bad for leadership from teachers and counselors who children; for example, I'm so terrified about death are effective in coping with death in their that I've even avoided looking at Jim because he own lives and in their work with youth. Counselors thinks his father is dying. I just don't know how to can play a valuable role in helping teachers develop help him. Do you think you could help me in some the attitudes and skills that they need to deal with way? the topic of death. Counselors must have honestly Counselor to self: Who, me? I'm terrified, too. I confronted their own feelings about death and don't know how to help. I run away from the topic become well informed about the many aspects of like most people around me. How can I answer? death education before they can assist teachers The counselor's self-dialogue in response to the effectively. teacher may be typical. Can we counselors help This article examines ways in which counselors others if we ourselves have great difficulties in can help teachers deal with death. Attention is given dealing with death? Do counselors have to be in first to counselor self-growth in facing death. Next, touch and in charge in order to help others? death is looked at as a developmental concern, and Certainly, it would be difficult for counselors who consideration is given to classroom learning experi- feel terrified about death to cope effectively with a ences that may develop healthy awareness related to teacher's request. death. Third, death is explored as an immediate What then? Withdraw from the field? matter; consideration is given to helping young Perhaps we counselors have to do better than that. people who have experienced the death of a person First, our efforts might be needed because so few who is close to them or who are facing the death of human beings are really prepared to deal effectively another or of themselves. Finally, suggestions are with death. Second, it is likely that counselors would offered concerning the development and function of not be consulted if teachers thought that there was a teacher group that is designed to explore the topic anyone else more capable of giving assistance. of death. Third, in our own interest as well as for the benefit of those with whom we work, it may be time to face the problem of dealing with death. Counselor Self-Growth in Facing Death If a teacher's question comes directly, we counselors might offer either individual or group assis- Teacher to counselor: I've becn reading a bit lately tance or buy a bit of time: "Let me get back to you about new openness concerning death, and I think 1 on that and we'll talk about it further." Assuming

29 Developing Support Groups for Students

that we counselors choose the latter course and ask article (and in this issue) and with a group of for time, how should we use it? experienced counselors and perhaps a teacher or two, we may be able to create a valuable group experience. Seek Personal Resources The goal, regardless of the method chosen Recently, the topic of death has received attention in to achieve it, is for counselors to gain self-under- guidance, educational, psychology, and related standing and to marshal their own personal strengths literature. Workshops have been conducted to in order to assist others. explore personal feelings, attitudes, and information on the topic. Perhaps someone is availablewho is well informed and who might serve as a consultant Death as a Developmental Concern to counselors, to a teacher who requests assistance, or to a group of teachers. It is possible that with a Jack, a 7-year-old, saw a counselor a number of resource person and some reading and self- times about his dozing in school and his relatively exploration we counselors might find that we are the recent scholastic slump. Eventually he shared his best equipped persons to meet the need. deeper concern. Older students had told Jack that he If we believe that we would not be most effective would die if he breathed through his mouth at night in consulting or facilitating a group experience, we when he slept. The adults influencing Jack had made might assist in the initial organization of a group it clear that the topic of death was unacceptable; exploring death and dying or serve as coordinators thus, he got his information where he could. of special programs for school personnel. Our objec- As a young child, Dick began to have a recurring tive should be that of meeting needs. nightmare of a friendly, elderly neighbor folded up, dead, in a wicker basket. It seemed likely that the word casket was not in Dick's vocabulary; therefore, Research the Topic he had created his own image of what he was told. Reading current literature (see other articles and When, as an adolescent, he gained an understanding annotated bibliography in this issue) can expand our of the word, the dream stopped. The protection that personal knowledge about the topic of death. As we Dick had been given left him to the terrors of his consider what we read we may come to a better own imagination. understanding of our own fears and our own ways of As with any other reality, young people need to responding to grief. We may come to accept our- understand, or at least to talk about, death. Death is selves as persons who can help teachers to cope with a mystery, but it is not so mysteriousthat only the realities of death. hushed tones and euphemisms should be used when discussing it. We are uncomfortable discussing death Participate in a Workshop or Group because we fear our own ultimate death and because we know pain from the death of people important to The need to respond to a teacher request may press us, but if we fail to discuss death we leave young too strongly for us to take advantage of a group people to create their own legends and to discover experience at that time. If such a group were avail- their own information or misinformation about able, however, we might consider attending it with death. the teacher. Also, in our local, district, or state Ideally, the topic of death might be handled best in Personnel and Guidance Association or School the home under the loving care of parents. Because Counselors Association we might find support for many parents find the topic of death even more the development of a group, or it may be possible to difficult to discuss with their children than sex, gather with counselors in the immediate vicinity and death remains unexamined. Another aspect of the build a group that focuses on concerns about death. problem, however, is that young people may not At the moment we need a group none may be about have the requisite vocabulary to ask their question- to stan, but, with the suggestions offered later in this thus, group attention to the topic of death seems

4 30 Counselors, Teachers, and Death Education highly desirable since children then may learn people. Adults may believe that children need the through the iesponses to others' questions. protection of euphemisms: gone away, laid to rest, Adults may worry needlessly about giving too asleep forever, the angels took him or her, passed much information to children. T-Iking about death on, lost, on the other side, eternal reward. Children may be compared to discussing cars. Children and youth may be thoroughly confused by such understand what death means only in the sense that language and experience unnecessary fear of sleep, they understand that a car moves. At a later age chil- rest, going away, passing from one grade to another, dren begin to understand how a car is driven. Even- meiving a reward, and of angels or heaven, because tually, they may learn to make repairs or to under- the realistic language about death is avoided. Euphe- stand the theory of the internal combustion engine. misms about death may be useless for adults also, Since children will absorb only what they compre- but for young people the confusion euphemisms hend, our concern should not be that we give too mate makes them totally unacceptable (Nelson & much information about death; rather, we should Peterson, 1975). concern ourselves with giving sufficient information Philosophically, dealing with death may be seen to encourage dialogue and to dispel misinfonnation. as part of learning to cope with anything that makes Opportunities to deal with death in a remedia ! us sad, hurt, or angry. Sorrowing choices, one of five fashion occur when a death is imminent or has just kinds of choices presented in choice awareness oci:urred; developmental opportunities exist almost (Nelson & Bloom, 1975), are seen as inevitable any other time. We support the cultural taboo when responses to the sadness that comes to all of us, we avoid discussing death except when it has especially in the face of death. Such sadness will be occurred. We counter the taboo when we show a expressed. It is important that young people be willingness to discuss death when it is not imminent. helped to see that the direct expression of sadness is Our own discomfort makes it unlikely that we will important and necessary. Since children may feel appear befoir a class on a sunny day and announce: grief and remorse later because they did not "The topic today is death." How then do we intro- adequately express their sadness at the time of a duce the issue? death, it is important that young people be helped to Death is in the news constantly. Accidents, natural make such statements as: "I hurt when I think of disaster, and disease resulting in death air before us Grandma dead." "Now that Aunt Sue is dead I find always. Motion pictuies and television dramas seem myself wondering if I will die." "I keep thinking to stress violence and death. Such fine pieces of Mom and Dad won't live forever, now." "I miss literature as A Taste of Blackberries (Smith, 1973) Grandpa." "I'm angry that Daddy is going to die." "I for children aged 8 to 12 or Death Be Not Proud need a shoulder to cry on." "I feel like I don't want (Gunther, 1949) for teenagers may provide a better, to be close to people, because they might die too, mom sensitive launching platform for discussion of and it feels too bad." "I keep feeling sorry about the topic, however. some of the things I said when Dave was sick." On one level the television generation is inured to Choice-awareness theory suggests that there are the implications of death. Children have seen car- two basic alternatives to open expression of genuine toon characters dismembered and later magically grief. First, grief may be internalized. When this reassembled, they have seen news teports of battles occurs a person becomes miserable, blames or feels and of death in faraway places, and they have heard sorry for himself or herself, and, because the grief is accident statistics that have simultaneously brought unexpiessed or inadequately expressed, this internal- death closer and depersonalized it. Good literature ization may continue indefinitely. Alternatively, that cannot be reduced to a 10-minute cartoon or a sadness may be externalized, and the person strikes 50-minute drama is much more likely to result in a out at others in a variety of ways. Verbal lashing out, sense of mality and personalization. expiessing hostility toward younger or less powerful In dealing with the topic of death in a develop- persons, and even lying, cheating, or stealing may mental fashion, the use of straightforward termi- result when an individual cannot express sadness nology seems especially important with young directly and effectively. For males, in particular, the

31 Developing Support Groups for Students

injunction to "Be strong" results in the avoidance of is willing to, fulfill the role of listener. If a teacher or direct expressions of grief even in the face of death, counselor suspects this, he or she can still offer help and that grief must have an outlet. even though the relationship hasbeen st.ezrficial: "I In exploring the topic of death developmentally, know we haven't really become close, but I'd like to young people need to see death as aninevitable part have you know that I'd be willing to have us get of life, to understand their own need for grief, and to together and talk unless you have someone else who be helped to develop the vocabulary and skills for is deing that with you. When I have been really sad expressing sadness directly. The adult who initiates or confused it has helped me totalk with someone." effective dialogue relative to death not only Another course of action that my be taken when contributes developmentally to personal awareness young people are coping with deathis, of course, a and sensitivity hut is likely to be sought as a person gentle, warmly stated referral: "I see the pain in your who might help when the realities of life and death eyes and I think it would be goodfor you to talk out exert pressure at critical times in the lives of young some of your feelings withMr. Davis or Mrs. people. The very initiation of such a vital topic as Stapleton." Seeking outside assistance may have death can do much to convince young people of the been either overlooked or considered andmjected caring and concern of both counselors and teachers. because "the counselor (other helping person) might be too busy." A recommendation to seek help may be all that is needed. Death as an Immediate Concern A relative or a classmate may have died, or a relative, friend, or even the young person involved may Marie, a college student, admitted that for 2 weeks be dying. Certainly, there are enormousdifferences after Jill's father died she avoided her: "I just didn't in the impact of these various circumstances. None- know what to say to her." theless, there are some similarities in the responses Tom wanted to avoid people altogether after his that a counselor may offer to a teacher or directly to brother was killed: "I got so tired of hearing the a student. Besides thesuggestions already given, same things over and over, 'Icould hardly see any one more is relevant. Don'tisolate. Making a non- evidence of the accident,' or 'If there's anything I verbal or verbal overture to the person is appro- can do...'and nobody can doanything!" priate, as is offering to include the individualin Counselors can help teachers deal with the two activities. In May 1975 a letter appearedin Ann major threads that seem to run through the fabric of Lander's column in which a woman reportedhaving response to death: inadequacy andavoidance. had to leave her community once people learnedthat Because the needs and responses of those who have she was going to die because her friends andneigh- survived a death are so varied, after an initial rushof bors refused to treat her as normal eventhough she sympathetic expressions there seems to be a period had no limitations on her physical activities.The of watching and waiting by those less affected. woman pleaded to be treatednormallywithout Making generalizations to a teacher about what to constantly having her health inquired aftertobe do seems dangerous because the basis of a response included, to have others demonstrate a willingness is in the relationship itself. A hug might be the right to relate to her, to forget herdisease, and to love her. thing for one person to give, a touch on the annfor Living with the immediacy of death is difficult. another, a note for a third: "I feel lost in reaching out Offers of assistance may best be accepted if coun- to you now. I just want you to knowI am thinking of selors have shown concern in the past, but, even as by you." acquaintances, we can help bereaved individuals Simply expressing a willingness to talk may be maintaining contact. In their grief people need tobe highly appropriate: "I think it may be importantfor close to others; we need to consider carefullywhat you to talk to someone about yourfeelings now. If is appropriate for a relationship and where we can you want me to be that personI'd gladly do that for best fit into the needs of those we serve. you." A young person may have no one who can, or

12 32 Counselors, Teachers, and Death Education

A Teacher Group Focused on Death 1, Saying it straight.The group spends 5 minutes mentioning the euphemisms associated with death If we counselors and teachers are to deal effectively (e.g., passed on, laid to rest) and 5 minutes men- with death, either developmentally or immediately, tioning the reality-based phrases and words (e.g., it is essential for us to explore our own attitudes and dead dying, coffin). Discussion follows. fears regarding death. Comparatively few of us will 2.Euphemisms and fantasy.Using euphemisms, have worked thmugh our own ideas and emotions individuals am invited to share their fantasies of the on the subject, a modest percentage may be able to problems that children might have that result from build awareness on our own through reading and euphemisms. For example, "I am Jamie, a 6-year- reflection, but the majority will benefit by group old, and I heard that my grandpa had been laid to exploration of death. Somewhere we need the rest and then I never saw him again. My parents tell opportunity to air our ideas and concerns. me that if I can't nap in the afternoons I must at least One format for focusing on death in a group is rest. I try to nap, but when I can't, I cry, and I don't that of basic encounter. An unstructured opportunity know why." Discussion follows. Agreement is is provided for members to air their feelings and sought on using reality-based words in the group. ideas, to react to (encounter) the responses of others, 3. Anage-relevant death fantasy,I. Each member and to experience responses to their own ideas. A of the group who wishes is invited to fantasize what second format is the study group: Reading in com- it would be like to be one of his or her pupils facing mon is done outside the group and then the reading the knowledge of the death or impending death of is discussed in the gro4. A third format, explored someone close. "How would I hear about it? What briefly in this article, is that of a structured group would I do immediately? What questions would I experience. have? Whom would I ask? What would I feel, think, The kind of group structure suggested in this do, over time?" Discussion follows each fantasy. article incorporates stimulus activities so that group 4.An age-relevant death fantasy,//. Each members are challenged to explore particular member of the group who wishes is invited to aspects of death in ways that allow their common fantasize what it would be like to be one of his or group experiences to be discussed and related to her pupils facing the knowledge of his or her own their experiences outside the group. The effective- impending death. Discussion follows each fantasy. ness of a group is more dependent on effective 5. Aguided recall of grief.Members of the group dialogue than on activities, so the activities may be are asked to close their eyes and recall or fantasize dispensed with if and when the issues surrounding concerning the death of a person of great importance death am being effectively discussed without them. to them. The leader verbalizes learning about the A group consists of a small number of volunteers death of that person and the stages of grief (Kubler- (5 to 10) who are interested in the topic, who agree Ross, 1969). An example of part of the dialogue to meet for a specified number of sessions (3 to 8), relevant to the first stage, denial, might be as and who are open about exploring their ideas and follows: "I can't accept what I have just heardor attitudes concerning death. An underlying assump- seen. (Long pause) I'll go out of the room and come tion is that a counselor-led teacher group focusing in again and it will all be different. (Pause) I'll go to on death can help its members to explore their own bed and sleep and wake up and find this is all a ideas and thereby enable them to cope with young dream. (Pause) I simply won't believe it. (Pause)" people more effectively when the issue of death is The dialogue continues through the stages of anger, raised or when they themselves desire to focus on bargaining, depression and acceptance. Discussion death as a developmental matter. follows. The following are some stimulus activities that 6. A present death fantasy, I. Aswith the age- might be used in a teacher group focusing on death: relevant fantasies, each member of the group who wishes is invited to fantasize what it would be like

33 Developing Support Groups for Students to face the knowledge of thedeath or impending discussion and contribute to deeper communication death of someone who is presently very close. among school staff members.Experiences in such Discussion follows each fantasy. groups may help teachers andcounselors discuss the 7.A present death fantasy, II.Each member is topics of death and dying with their students. invited to fantasize what it would be like tobe While these goals alone are worth the time and facing the knowledge of his or her own impending effort, a deeper, more significant goal may emerge death. Discussion follows each fantasy. and be achieved by those who explore thetopic of 8.Epitaph writing.Each member is to contem- death. The preciousness of life is much more evident plate and write possible epitaphs forhimself or when the illusion of earthly immortality isdiscarded herself. These epitaphs may show what mighthave and when the inevitability of the death ofothers and been written in that person's youth, at present,10 of ourselves is confronted. years hence, and at a veryadvanced age. Discussion I won't live foroverneither will you. Those we follows. encounter in our daily living can benefit, as can we, 9.Obituary writing.Obituary samples are read to if we live our lives as if we know that they are the group, and each member writes his orher own limited. We counselors have a special opportunity,if obituary. Each member may also draw the nameof we learn how to use it, tohelp others live richer another group member and write an obituary forthat lives. One of the most important ways in which we person. Obituaries are teadand discussed. might use that opportunity is by helping young 10.Funeral service.Group members are encour- people, either directly or through their teachers, to aged to attend a funeral or at least to visit afuneral understand the reality, to comprehend the inevitabil- home before a funeral service. During the group ity, and to explore the mystery of death. activity a member tells the group what his orher own funeral servicemight be like, what family members and others the group members might role References play, and then lies motionless while a simulated service is conducted. Discussion follows. Gunther, J. (1949).Death be not proud.New York: 11.Writing a eulogy.Each member is asked to Harper & Row. write a eulogy that portrays his or her liferealis- Kubler-Ross, E. (1969).On death and dying.New tically, emphasizing the celebration ofself. York: Macmillan. Members may also write an imaginaryeulogy Nelson, R., & Bloom, J. (1975).Choice awareness: saying what they would like to hear. Eulogies are An innovative guidance process.Boston: read and discussed and, if appropriate, compared. Houghton Mifflin. 12.Death role playing.Each member who Nelson, R., & Peterson, W. (1975). Challenging the wishes directs the group in playing tolesdepicting last great taboo: Death.School Counselor,22, the moment of his or her death. The member setsthe 353-358. stage: when, where, how, who is present,the general Smith, D. B. (1973).A taste of blackberries.New attitude of participants. Discussion follows each York: Crowell. role-playing incident.

Richard C. Nelson is a Professor of Counselingand Summary Personnel Services at Purdue University in West 14ayette, Indiana. Group experiences incorporating such activities as those cited in this article may help individuals to This article originally appeared in the journalThe face the mality of death in a setting in which they School Counselorand is reprinted with permission are supported by others.Personal strengths and from the American Association for Counselingand weaknesses may emerge in teacher-counselor group Development.

34 MODULE 2

PROGRAMS AND PRACTICESFOR HELPING STUDENTS COPE WITH FEARSANDCRISES

and fear practice interventions. They range in age level from elementary to secondary students. Several excellent resources have a guidance orientation but emphasize a schoolwide orientation and are equally useful for teachers and administrators as well as for counselors (Children's Fears: Thward a Preventive Model; Children and Crises: A Develop- mental Guidance Approach; The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers). The range of crises dealt with is broad and ranges from a focus on generalized fears and anxieties (Rechanneling Anxieties) to specific programs and practices concerned with student or teacher death and suicide (Responding to Student or Teacher Death; The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers; Responding to Suicide in Schools). A number of the resources focus on specific practices that can be adopted to respond to war- related crises and are intended for use with teachers, parents and students (I I Tips: Talking With Your Child About War; Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm: A Special Handout for Parents; Children and WarResponding to Introduction Operation Desert Storm: A Special Handout for Teachers). Other resources, such as Using Guided /n this module are 14 resources selected to assist Fantasy With Children and "Stressing" Relaxation the user in identifying programs and practices in the Classroom, offer special techniques and that can be useful in developing programs aimed practices. at crisis prevention or the reduction of the after- The forementioned resources and others in this effects of crises, and in developing specific crisis module, plus those described in Module 5, Abstracts

A BEST COPYAVAILABLE 35 Developing Support Groups for Students

of Significant Resources, offer useful ideas, practices often realized when they constitute part of a preven- and program designs. Their best use, however, is tive thrust that both responds to the immediate crisis when they are customized to fit the special needs as well as assists the students involved toacquire and interests of a school. As is discussed in the con- coping skills that will enable them to more effec- cluding module, the individual and collective impact tively weather future challenges and crises. of the programs and practices described is most

4 t; 36 Children's Fears: Towarda Preventive Model

Edward H. Robinson III, Joseph C.Rotter, Mary Ann Fey and Sandra L. Robinson

Children's fears can span a continuum from pedagogic problem is not to eliminate fear, but having a positive self-preserving and motivational to gauge it to the power of proper reaction. quality to having an inhibiting or even debilitating (p. 242) effect. A child attempting to cross a busy streetmay exhibit a fear of cars. The child may approach the For children, fear is an integral part of their lives situation tentatively with a heightenedawareness of and, as such, a part of their normal development. the potential danger and thus exercise an appropriate Many of the fears of childhood are transitory in amount of caution in crossing the street Under such nature and may appear at or about the same age for circumstances fear clearly can be self-enhancing. children. As children learn to deal with each fear in Another child may have great difficulty goingto turn, the fears pass on without great disruption, sleep because of a fear of the monster under the bed. helping the child to learn adaptiveways of coping This child may suffer a significant loss of sleep and with fear. For some this can bea more painful emotional discomfort, which can carryover into experience than for others because likeany normal everyday life. The child may be too tired to attendto learning process, casualties are found along theway. learning tasks in school or be distracted from tasks It is estimated that from 4% to 8% of all children knowing that the hideous creature lies in wait under in the United States will receive clinical treatment the bed at home. for fear-related disorders (Morris & Kratochwill, Almost 100 years ago G. Stanley Ha 11(1897),one 1983). Schachter (1988) claimed that 10% of the of the founders of the child study movement, children in the United States will developa phobia eloquently outlined the scope of the problem with during childhood. The numbers of untreated popula- regard to helping children deal with fear. tion often run as much as two times those of the treated population. In a recentsurvey of teachers in There is no one without fear, and those few who American international schools, the vast majority of so emphatically disclaim all fear...are thinking teachers believed that children were adversely of shock or panic or acute fright,or special affected by fears and that as many as 50%were not physical dread, etc., but not the subtler forms, functioning effectively at some time because of fear- like fear of God, or dishonor, failure of their related concerns (Robinson, Rotter, Vogel, & Fey, in higher purposes, for themselves or others. Not press). only does everyone fear, but all should fear. The

A -)

37 Developing Support Groups for Students

The "treatment dilemma" is a complex one of strangers, separation from parents, and attach- because the goal is not the elimination of fear but ment-related concerns occur from late infancy into rather the development of appropriate coping strate- early childhood. Early childhood gives rise tofears gies that allow children a sense of control overlife of dark moms, sudden changes in appearances, and events with respect for threateningsituations. The large animals. As the child approaches school age, school counselor then must develop a senseof the mystical creatures begin to be the primary focusof developmental aspects of children's fears, strategies children's fears, and perhaps the dart is the general that help children learn effective waysof coping repmsentation in the child's mind of these mystical with normal developmental fears, and strategies to embodiments. In the early school years children also assist those children who experience somedifficul- become aware of "bad" people and althoughlarge ties related to fear. This article explores thesethree animals, particularly wild animals, are a sourceof areas and suggests a model forschool counselors fears, their intensity and frequency decreasesand is that may help them to conceptualize theirwork with replaced more and more with fears of robbers, a child and his or her fears. muggers, kidnappers, and fearsof being alone. The school years seem to give rise to fears offailure and related punishments, which transcend the passageof The Development of Fears inChildren childhood into adolescence. Here, fears relate to social, personal and family relations as well as sex- The controversy of heredity versus environmentis related fears. War, particularly nuclear war,is a always an issue in examining the developmentof relatively new fear for the early adolescent, and attributes in children. Kagan (1986) hasbeen fears related to AIDS seem more recent. engaged in a longitudinal study ofchildren from birth to age 8. His findings suggest thatchildren may have some inherentpredisposition toward fear- Understanding the Fear Cycle fulness. Some children are much more prone to fearful behaviors from birth than otherchildren. He Although all children will experiencefear as an also noted that over a period of 8 years somechil- inevitable and essential part of their normaldevel- dren who were more fearful at birth becameless so opment, not all children will learn to copewith fear and some who were less fearful became more so. effectively. For some, fear will interfere withtheir life; for This suggests that, although there maybe a heredi- effective functioning in school and in daily debili- tary link involved in thedevelopment of fear, envi- others, the effects of fear may even become ronmental factors also play a large part in thedevel- tating. For the school counselor to developeffective opment of children's fears.Although Kagan's strategies in helping children cope with fear,it is research suggests that some children will be prone to important to understand how childrendevelop the react more to fear objects, itis generally agreed that effective ways of coping. Figure 1 represents all children will exhibit fears and,while many are fear cycle. transitory in nature, the fears appear at aboutthe Fear is the anticipation of or awarenessof expo- same age for mostchildren (Jersild, Markey, & sure to injury, pain, or loss.A fear object, then, is Jersild, 1933; Morris & Kratochwill,1983; any object or conceptualizationthat the child antici- Robinson, Robinson, Whetsell, & Weber, 1986). pates might cause injury, pain orloss. The degree of fear is related to the child's perception ofvulnera- bility. In the fear cycle, the child perceives anobject Normative Data on Children's Fears or concept, which iscompared with one's sense of self and one's personal resources. Thechild may Table 1 outlines an integration of severalstudies experience this with a sense of power and afeeling concerning normative data on children's fears.The of confidence (affect); the child may realizethat he fears of infancy appear to be related to eventsand or she has the resources todeal effectively with the (cognition); the child may changes in the child's immediate environment.Fears source of potential threat

38 Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Model

Table 1 Normative Data on Children's Fears

Age Fears

0-6 months Loss of support, loud noises, sudden movement 7-12 months Stranger3, sudden appearance of large objects, loud noises 1 year Separation from parent, strangers, injury, toilet 2 years Large animals, dark room, large objects and machines, loud noises, sudden changes in personal environment 3 years Dark room, masks, large animals, snakes, separation from parent 4 years Dart room, noise at night, large animals, snakes, separation fromparent 5 years Wild animals, bodily injury, dark, bad people, separation from parent 6 years Ghosts, monsters, witches, dark, being alone, thunder and lightning 7 years Dark, monsters, storms, being lost, kidnapping, being alone 8 years Dark, people (kidnapper, robber, mugger), gunsor weapons, being alone, animals 9 years Dark, being lost, bad dreams, bodily harm or accident, being alone 10 years Dark, people, bad dreams, punishment, strangers 11 years Dark, being alone, bad dreams, being hurt bysomeone, being sick, tests, grades 12 years Dark, punishment (being in trouble, bad grades), being alone, being hurtor taken away, tests, grades 13 years Crime in general, being hurt or kidnapped, being alone,war in general and nuclear war, bad grades, tests, punishment 14 years + Failure at school, personal relations, war, tests,sex issues (pregnancy, AIDS), being alone, family concerns

Note. Compiled from works by Croake & Knox (1971), Jersild & Holmes (1935), Kellerman(1981), Maurer (1965), Morris & Kratochwill (1983), and Robinson, Robinson, & Whetsell (1988).See References for full publication information. get butterflies (physiological response); and then the successful but maintain "unreasonable fears" with child may take some action (behavioral response). regard to a particular fear object. The external As a result of the action, the child again examines observer may see the child handle similar situations the potential threat of the fear object. The degree to well but is at a loss to understand why the child can- which the child's action lessens the potential threat not transfer coping skills to a particular fearful influences the child's perception of the fear object. situation. The more children successfully handle such situations, the less vulnerable they may feel. Conversely, the less successful they are, the more vulnerable Current Theoretical Approaches children may feel. Vulnerable children may express more concerns about an array of fear objects and A behavioral interpretation of this latter situation may generally approach new situations with greater suggests that fears are learned separately and trepidation. Some children may be generally individually: thus, a child may develop one fear

39 Developing Support Groups forStudents

which creates difficulties and noothers, or a child Toward a Model of Understanding may learn a numberof fears. Other theories postu- Children's Fears late that fears are interrelated andcaused by some underlying conflict (Morris &Kratochwill, 1983). That one child may be frightenedby a fear object by the same object Based on theoretical positions,treatments are pre- and another child Lot frightened perceptions of a scribed. In a behavioral system acounselor works gives rise to the individuality of on each fear anddoes not expect improvement in given fear object's power to elicit afearful response. any other. TheRogerian or Adlerian theorist, Fear, then, must be understood on anindividual the same type of believing internal psychologicalfactors responsible, basis; yet, children exhibit many of works toward insight as necessary foreffecting responses to fear objectsand report many similar positive change. The research ofMiller, Barrett, fear objects at (or around) the same age.Thus, there Hampe, and Noble (1972) suggeststhat both must also be some commonphenomenon shared by behavioral and insight models areeffective with children in general regarding fear.This dual nature some children. Whileeffective, each counseling of fear may suggest that fear inchildren is related to approach has some limitations (Banhart& Banhart, the development of other systems.Studies suggest 1983; Barnett, 1984; Geer & Tuteltaub,1967; the relationship of the child'sfears to cognitive Hatzenbuehler & Schroder, 1978; Holmes,1936; development of the child (Bauer,1976). Many other Jones, 1924; Kaufer, Karoly,& Newman, 1973; developmental systems may be linked tothe devel- Ongoa, 1979; Sartory, Rachman,& Grey, 1982). opment of fear in children aswell. The development of theory has not yetreached the A number of theorists have discussedfear in terms point of explaining all thingsin all situations. of its relationship to courage(Rachman, 1978) or 1978). Figure 1 is a visual repre- Perhaps a more practical approachfor school coun- power (Wolman, selors at this point is to develop amodel that helps sentation of the fear cycle. Thechild perceives the them organize their interventionstrategies into a fear object and perceives selfin relation to the fear systematic, eclectic scheme that fitstheir role in object. At Point A a potential fearobject is in the child becomes school. child's environment. By Point B the

Potential fear object Child's perception (A) of fear object (13)

R e reearrc tot ico n o

(F)

Behavioral response (fight or Bight) (E) Cycle continues Child's perception (G) of self in relation to fear object (C)

Affective cognitive physiological response to balance perception (D) Figure 1 Conceptualization of Fear Cycle

.5 40 Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Model aware of the potential fear object. The process that She may also have parents who she knows "listen occurs at Point C is the child's assessment of the for her" or friends who she feels will help her if she potential threat of the fear object in relation to the needs them to fight the forces of fear. In short, she child's own sense of power. On reaching Point D the has a measure of security gained through knowing child may respond to the fear object with cognitive, she has allies who will help her. affective or physiological response patterns. Next Self-worth, in this case, is defined as having a (Point E), the child may take some actien to flee or sense of confidence that one is capable and of value. to try to overcome through a strategy to control the Children with feelings of self-worth approach a task potential fear object. At Point F the child again with confidence of success. They believe that they assesses the potential threat of the fear object based can overcome obstacles because their personal on the success or failure of the strategy at Point E. resources are great. Successful strategies lead to an upward spiral of Janet, age 14, walks into a new school for the first confidence and adaptive behaviors; unsuccessful time. She has attended three new schools in the last strategies lead to greater fear and maladaptive 9 years. The first time her family moved was in the behaviors in a downward spiral. middle of the second grade. She was greeted enthu- siastically in her new school, and staff made sure she felt welcome and made sure to include her in Power activities, pairing her with children they knew would also include her. They made sure she learned the If the childron perceive that they are more powerful procedures and what was expected of her. They than the potential fear object. they respond in one showed her where lunch would be and how she way; if, on the other hand, they perceive that they would get her tray and what to do afterward. In are less powerful, they may respond in a very differ- short, they ensured her success at many of the tasks ent way. Power consists of three different constructs: of transition into a new school. Janet was fortunate security, self-worth. and control. The extent to that the next new school was the same in its orienta- which children see that they are secure, feel of tion. Now Janet, with three successful experiences value, and act on their environment determines their behind her, enters her fourth school with confidence general reaction to a potential fear object. Although that she can succeed. most children of age 6 may fear the dark, those with Control involves having a sense of acting on the a sense of power tend to believe they will fmd a way environment, of exercising influence over one's life to master the situation; those without a sense of and the things that happen in life power may experience difficulty in coping. Paul has been given choices since he was very Security is having a sense of wellbeing and safety young. "Paul, would you like a peanut butter and based on having allies in facing the world and one's jelly sandwich or a liverwurst sandwich." his mother environment. Allies can be family, friends, teachers, would ask when he was age 2. Paul usually opted spiritual faith, or even inanimate objects (such as for the former. At age 5 Paul was given $4 at the stuffed animals) that the child can call on for help state fair. "This is the money you have for the fair. and comfort when faced with potential fear objects. You may choose to ride the rides, buy something to Allies may help children develop straiegies for eat, or play the games, but this is all the money you defeating fear objects; they provide comfort when have so think about what you want to do with it." At thinking of dealing with fear objects; they may also age 6 Paul woke up one night afraid of what might help to intervene and neutralize the influence of fear be out there in the dark. He summoned his courage, objects. got up, and quickly turned on his light. He went into Marty, age 7, is in bed with 15 stuffed animals. his parent's room to check on them. He went back to Her father looks in and, after a minute. says, "Marty, bed leaving his light on. Paul is learning that if I were a monster. I wouldn't be able to tell you through his choices he acts on his environment. He from all your friends there." Marty answers, "Yes, has a certain sense that he can control events in his Daddy, I know." Marty has allies she can count on. life.

r) I 41 Developing Support Groups for Students

These three constructs empower children and help concepts of control, self-worth, and security may them approach tasks and obstacles in life. Children develop reactions to specific fear objects in this way. who have adults in their lives who care for and encourage them and children who have theskills to make friends develop a sense of security that allows Counseling Strategies them to explore their world. Children who feel good about themselves develop the confidence to explore The model outlined here leads to a multifaceted and attempt new strategies to overcome fear (self- delivery system for the school counselor interested worth) (Rotter & Robinson, 1987). Children who in helping children in learning to cope with fears. have been given some autonomy in decision making Figure 2 depicts a primary prevention scheme for learn that they have a degree of control over their the school counselor. The intervention scheme on lives. They learn to access their strengths and the first level of pievention focuses on guidance and weaknesses and accept that coping with dilemmas in counseling activities designed for all children to life is a natural part of living. develop the concepts of control, security, and self- worth and activities fostering the exploration of nonnative childhood fears using the fear objects that Disasters and Terrors concern most children at a given agelevel. On the second level, dealing with high-risk children, activi- Children can be adversely affected by disasters and ties focus on helping children who have been subject terrors (Fig ley & McCubbin, 1983; Terr, 1981; to potentially traumatic events intheir lives in Trautman, 1987). A traumatic event in a child's life collective or individual settings. The third level of can lead to fear-related problems that interferewith prevention is directed toward helping children who the child's normal functioning. Certainly the exact are experiencing the adverse effectsof fear-related link between fear-related disorders and traumatic problems. In the previous examples intervention events can be argued, but there is ample support for may focus on the fearobject as well as the con- the general connection (Honig, 1986). Situations structs of security, self-worth, and control. such as the Chowchilla kidnapping in California in which childien were captured and buried in a school bus, led to severe disturbances in many of the chil- Developmental Interventions dren after the rescue. Thus, children who develop fears that are focused The goal of developmental intervention is toassist on only one fear object or closely relatedobjects all children in developing the best skills possible for may develop thoe fears throughtraumatic events successfully meeting the demands of life in the that they perceive in their lives. A child who other- present and in the future. One aspectof the develop- wise is functioning on a high level with regard to the mental approach focuses on skills related to dealing with fears.

FEAR OBJECT

PREVENTION PREVENTION PREVENTION

DEVELOPMENTAL HIGH RISK TREATMENT

CONTROL SECURITY SELF-WORTH

Figure 2 Conceptualization of Fear Cycle

r, 42 Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Model

The counselor knowledgeable about the norma- counseling strategies aimed at helping children tive data concerning fear in children may adopt develop the underlying structures of control, self- strategies to help children meet the normal task of worth, and security while exploring areas ofnorma- learning to cope. The counselor may help teachers tive developmental fears. This can be accomplished integrate classroom learning tasks with this develop- in group or individual settings through experiences mental task by exploring these normative fears. One provided by the teacher and the counselor. of the worst and most prevalent fears of early school-aged children is fear of the dark. Helping teachers see opportunities to allow children to Helping High-Risk Children explore this topic helps children explore ways to master this normative fear object. Studying creatures Children who have experienced collective or per- of the night, planning civics lessons on people who sonal disasters in their lives am more likely to devel- work at night, reading stories about the dark, per- op problems related to fears than other children are forming mathematical operations dealing with the (Terr,1981;United States Department of State, stars and nighttime navigation, and observing the 1986).Children experiencing a high level of general science of plant life in the night are possibilities. stress are also more susceptible (Honig,1986). The opportunities to integrate the subjects of math, Inviting such children and adults in their lives to science, reading, spelling, language arts, and so participate in counseling activities is an important forth with the daily struggles of children are many strategy for prevention of fear-related problems. and varied. Collective disasters might include earthquakes, One service counselors can perform is helping tornadoes, hurricanes, and acts of waror terror in parents understand the developmental process of which a large portion of a school population or com- normative fears through newsletters or parent work- munity are affected. Such crises remind children that shops by exploring the dos and don'ts of parenting they am vulnerable and raise doubt in them regard- with regard to children's fears. These dos and don'ts ing their sense of security and ability to control their include: don't use fear to secure discipline, don't own destiny. Children will have to eventually learn make fun of children's fears, don't dismiss chil- to accept the uncertainties of life, but such events dren's fears as fanciful or imaginary, and so forth. give rise to doubts as to whether they can besuc- Do encourage children to communicate, do listen to cessful in other areas of their lives and meet the children, do help them explore strategies to defeat challenges of daily threats. the monsters in their lives, and so forth. Providing Personal disasters can be just as traumatic for the tips for parents on the role of control, self-worth, individual child. Loss of a parcit, divorce, and and security in meeting the challenges of life is bodily injury are examples of personal disasters. another possible strategy. These may have the same effect on the child as Conducting classroom guidance activities that collective disasters. The child who is under stress systematically address control, self-worth, and from things such as changing schools, family strife, security issues is another strategy that may be school failure, and so forth can also be at greater employed by the counselor. Helping children risk than other children. develop decision-making skills increases their sense The counselor may wish to target these children, of control. Helping children develop a sense of their their families, and teachers for special intervention. strengths and providing success experiences devel- In1986children at the American Cooperative ops a sense of self-worth. Helping children gain School in Liberia were faced with an attempted effective interpersonal skills allows them to relate to coup. Although no violence was directed at the others, make friends, and be a friend to establish children themselves, there were a great deal of allies in life and gain a sense of security that they shooting, killings, and assassinations. Most of the are not alone in meeting challenges. children were exposed to these events. Following Again, the list of specifics is endless but the key the coup attempt, children came to school through organizing principle is establishing consultation and checkpoints maintained by armed soldiers. They

43 Developing Support Groups for Students

often had to get out of the bus or car while soldiers come the fear (Jones & Jones, 1928).Miller et al. searched them ane the vehicle. On the playground, (1972) found that the greatest success rate for helpchildren acted out their fears. They set up "checking phobic children was effected for children points" and searched for weapons. They played war between 6 to 10 years old. Next was the range from games. The teachers were uncertain what todo: 11 to 12 years old. The success rate falls off dramat- Should we go on as usual? Should we talk about it? ically for the over-13 years old population. When What do we say if we do talk about it? Parents too fear-related problems surface early, intervention can were uncertain as to what to do.Often in the face of prevent more severe problems (Sarafino,1986). disaster, teachers and parents, uncertain about how Figure 3 outlines a counseling scheme following to broach the topic, simply return tobusiness as the model suggested here. In the first phase, the usual and inadvertently send the message that this is counselor is concerned with establishing a positive something not to be explored. In such circum- relationship, providing cathartic release, exploring stances, the counselor needs to help teachers, the child's world, and validating the child's fear. parents, and children with the information appro- This last consideration is very important. The child's priate to the developmental level of the children. fears are real no matter how mystical, imaginary, or In the preceding case, counselors could meetwith unthreatening they may appear to the observer. teachers and parents first, let them talk out their We have seen that children, especially young concerns and fears, and then providethem with ones, may not always understand thedifference structured ways they could help the children. In this between fantasy and reality. To them, the shark case, one suggestion was to have asharing time as from the movie 'Jaws' may be as mal as if they soon as children got to school."How were the had encountered it in the family bathtub. checkpoints today?" "How did you handle the situa- (Kellerman, 1981, p. 31) tion?" "I see you're all handling the checkpoints well. How do you do it?" "It's scary but you seem The second phase deals with assessment. This to be able to handle it." After the sharing, astory does not necessarily mean testing but rather getting time for the younger children helped them calm to know the child from his or her perspectiveand down a bit. One teacher distributed clay during story developing a sense of how the child views the world time. At first children just kneaded the clay; later, as and his or her place in it. Specifically, the counselor their anxiety abated, they began to make things with needs to have a clear picture of the child's sense of the clay. control, self-worth, and security. It may be that a Learning how to release the tensions brought on given fear arises out of a specific situation related to by crisis situations is the first goal of intervention. personal disaster in which the child feels vulnerable Relaxation training, guided imagery, mutual story- to a specific fear object. In such a situation,the telling, and other techniques might be helpful aids in counselor may move on to the third phase and focus such circumstances. For older children journalwrit- on the child's relationship with the fearobject. On ing can provide an important opportunity for cathar- the other hand, the counselor may find that the tic release. With high-risk populations the counselor child's fears are many and varied and arise from a will want to deal first with the specific issue at hand lack of security. The child may have had little and then help the children reestablish their sense of opportunity to act on the world and may feel at the control, self-worth, and security. mercy of things in the environmentrather than able to exert control over the environment.The child may view himself or herself asvulnerable and Counseling the Fearful Child failure expectant, assuming defeat in the face of life's threats. In such situations, the counselor will The third level of prevention is helping the child proceed to phase three with a different approach. who is already experiencing fear-relatedproblems. In phase three, the counselor is concerned with The longer fear-related problems persist, the more generating and implementing a plan of action to difficult it is to help the person find ways to over- assist the child. For feat-specific situations the

44 Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Model

StageI: Exploration Stage II: Assessment Stage III: Intervention StageIV!Fvaluation Allows child to openly Helps child define the Helps the child take Helps the child assess explore feelings, fear in relationshi9 to appropriate action to current relationship of thoughts, and behavior trauma or disaster deal with fear object(s) self in relation to fear regarding self in and/or current sense of object(s) relation to fcar security, self-worth, objects(s) and/or control

Counselor Seeks To:

Establish an atmosphere Help the child recognize Help the child develop Validate child's ability to of trust and open com- reactions to traumatic specific strategies in cope with fear object(s) munication event or disaster coping with fear Validate child's sense of Validate the child's Help the child recognize object(s) and/or security, self-worth, perceptions as real and sense of security, self- Help the child increase and/or control appropriate at the worth, contml sense of security and/or current level of Gently guide the child Help the child increase experiencing and toward recognition of sense of self-worth understanding relationship of self with and/or Provide an opportunity object(s) Help the child increase for catharsis sense of control

Thchniques Used:

Empathic listening and Continued empathic Relaxation training Role play responding responding Systematic desensiti- Role rehearsal Appropriate self- Added specificity in zation Role reversal disclosure responding Guided imagery Direct observation Bibliocounseling Role play Interpersonal communi- Indirect observation Mutual storytelling Role reversal cation skills training Self-mport Affection Play, art, storytelling, andDecision-making, Play, art, storytelling, and so forth problem-solving skills so forth Life skills training group Creating success experiences Bibliocounseling Encouragement

Procedural Goal:

Self-exploration Self-understanding Action directed toward Evaluation of interaction dealing with fear scheme object(s) or increasing sense of security, self- worth, control

Figure 3 Model for Counseling the Fearful Child

45 Developing Support Groups for Students

counselor and child may implement a number of op- of the fear object may take a shorter period before tions including systematic desensitization, implosive results are noted than in the case where thechild's therapy, flooding, cognitive restructuring, cognitive sense of power is not strong.Although intervention self-control, bibliotherapy, relaxation training, and directed at the concepts of control, self-worth, and so forth. Such strategies maybe employed individ- security may take longer to show results, thelong- ually or in appropriate combination to help thechild term effects of helping childrenestablish a sense of develop ways to cope with the fear object. If the fear power in their lives will not onlyhelp with over- object is a result of a lack of transference of the coming fear-related problems but also may skills the child already has for coping or is a result generalize to other areas of personal functioning. of a particular encounter, specifically focused intervention may prove successfal. If the child's fears arise from a lack of control, self-worth, and security, Conclusion such approaches may help temporarily withthe specific situation, but the fears may be manifested Although many childhood fears are a part of the again in a different situation or behavior. In such normal development of children and are transitoryin cases, the counselor may proceedwith some of the nature, the school counselor's goalof helping all preceding strategies but will also want to helpthe children develop their potential requires the coun- child develop a general sense of control, self-worth, selor to assist children, directly or indirectly, through and security. Strategies the counselor maywish to work with parents and teachers, and to helpthem employ here might include decisionmaking, master the areas of their developmentthat ease a problem-solving skills, increasing success experi- smooth and optimal passage through the fearsof ence, interpersonal communiceonskills training, childhood. To address this need, the model presented assertiveness training, and so forth. The counselor here provides the counselor with a frameworkthat is may work directly with the childin individual or appropriate for prevention at all levels of the group counseling but shouldalso consider parent continuum from developmental activities to helping and teacher consultation. Includingconsultation children who are experiencing fear-related prob- strategies with parents and teachers increases the lems. The model implies that no single theoryhas likelihood of success (Cobb & Richards, 1983). reached a level of preeminence for exploringthe Consultation might focus both on helping parents development or treatment of fear-related problems; and teachers understand childhood fear and onhome thus, an eclectic approach is suggested, but ascheme and classroom strategies to help the childdevelop a is offered that is systematic in nature and canbe better sense of control, self-worth, andsecurity. subjected to systematic research to test the usefulness of the model. The modelis built on the work of previous research and theory development. Evaluation Fear-related problems are a major mentalhealth concern. Issues that are only nowbeginning to In the last phase the counselor must assessthe become apparent may increase theproblem. impact of the counseling strategies inhelping the Recently one child came home from schoolin tears, child deal with fear objects. If the counselor em- shaking and trembling. "What's wrong?" asked the ploys a direct strategy such as systematicdesensiti- child's mother. "I'm scared." came the reply."We zation only to find that one fear object isquickly had a talk on AIDS today. They said that1 in 30 replaced by another, the counselor may wish tolook people will have AIDS by the time I graduatefrom only at the child's sense of control,self-worth, or high school. That means some of myfriends might security to determine if intervention in one or more die!" areas underlying the child's senseof power would Some curricula may actually frighten childreninto be an appropriate focus. fear-related problems; for example, AIDS awareness For children who have a positive senseof power, sessions, stranger-danger programs, andsexual strategies focusing on directly reducing theimpact abuse seminars may inadvertently causeundue fear.

t)r o 46 Children's Fears: Toward a Preventive Model

Counselors need to increase their skills and knowl- Jersild, A. T., Markey, F. U., & Jersild, C. L. (1933). edge about children's fears and develop a model that Children's fears, dreams, wishes, daydreams, guides them in their counseling and consultation likes, dislikes, pleasant and unpleasant memories. activities. This model is offered with the hope that it Child Development Monograph, 12. may generate research activities and be useful for Jones, M. C. (1924). Elimination of children's fears. counselors in helping the child defeat that monster Journal of Experimental Psychology, 1,382-390. lying in wait under the bed or out there somewhere Jones, H. E., & Jones. M. C. (1928). Fear. in the world. Childhood Education, 5,136-143. Kagan, J. (1986). Childhood development: A longitudinal study. Paper presented at the University of References South Carolina, Columbia. SC. Kaufer, F. H., Karoly, P., & Newman, A. (1973). Banhart, C. R, & Banhart, B..B. (1983). The use of Reduction of children's fear of the dark by compe- song lyrics to alleviate a child's fears. Child and tence related and situational threat-related verbal Family Behavior Therapy, 4, 81-83. cues. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Bamett, L. A. (1984). Young children's resolution of Psychology, 43, 251-258. distress through play. Journal of Child Psychology Kellerman, J. (1981). Helping the fearful child. New and Psychiatry, 25,477-483. York: Norton. Bauer, D. H. (1976). An exploratory study of the Maurer, A. (1965). What children fear. Journal of developmental changes in children's fears. Genetic Psychology, 10, 265-277. Journal of Child Psychiatry, 17, 69-74. Miller, L. C., Barrett, C. I., Hampe, E., & Noble, H. Cobb, H. C., & Richards, H. C. (1983). Efficacy of (1972). Comparison of reciprocal inhibition, counseling services in decreasing behavior prob- psychotherapy and waiting list control for phobic lems of elementary school children. Elementary children. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 79, School Guidance and Counseling, 17, 180-187. 269-279. Croake, J., & Knox, F. (1971). A second look at Morris, R. J., & Kratochwill, T. R. (1983). Treating adolescent fears. Adolescence, 6, 279-284. children's fears and phobias: A behavioral Figley, C. R., & McCubbin, H. I. (Eds.). (1983). approach. New York: Pergamon. Stress and the family: Vol. 2. Coping with Ongoa, E. R. (1979). The effects of bibliotherapy catastrophe. New York: Brunner/Mazel. through listening in reducing fears of young Geer, J. H., & Tuteltaub, A. (1967). Fear reduction children. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Ball following observation of a model. Journal of State University, Muncie, IN. Personality and Social Psychology, 6, 327-331. Rachman, S. (1978). Fear and courage. San Hall, G. S. (1897). A study of fears. American Francisco: Freeman. Journal of Psychology, 8, 147-249. Robinson, E. H., Robinson, S., & Whetsell, M. Hatzenbuehler, L. C., & Schroder, H. E. (1978). (1988). The study of children's fears. Journal of Desensitization procedures in treatment of child- Humanistic Education and Development, 27, hood disorders. Psychological Bulletin, 85, 84-95. 831-844. Robinson, E., Robinson, S. L., Whetsell, M. V., & Holmes, F. B. (1936). An experimental invesiigation Weber, A. (1986, April). Fear: A developmental of a method of overcoming children's fears. Child perspective. Paper presented to the American Development, 7,6-30. Association for Counseling and Development, Los Honig, A. S. (1986). Stress and coping in children. Angeles. Young Children, 50-63. Robinson, E. H., Rotter, J., Vogel, K., & Fey, M. A. Jersild, A., & Holmes, F. (1935). A study of chil- (1988). Helping children cope with fear and dren's fears. Journal of Experimental Education, stress: An activity guide. Nairobi, Kenya: 2,109-118. Association of International Schools in Africa.

47 Developing Support Groups for Students

Rotter. J., & Robinson, E. H. (1987). Coping with fear and sttess: Classroom intervention. Interna- Edward H. Robinson III is a professor in the tional Quarterly, 5(4), 39-45. Department of Educational Psychology at the Sarafino, E. P. (1986). The fears of childhood: A University of South Carolina in Columbia. guide to recognizing and reducing fearful states in children. New York: Human Sciences Press. Joseph C. Rotter is a professor in and chairperson Sartory. G., Rachman, S., & Grey, S. J. (1982). of the Department of Educational Psychology at the Return of fear: The role of rehearsal. Journal of University of South Carolina in Columbia. Behavioral Research and Therapy, 20, 123-134. Mary Ann Fey is a counselor at St. Joseph's Schachter, R. (1988). When your child is afraid. Elementary School in Columbia, South Carolina. New York: Simon & Schuster. Terr, I. C. (1981). Trauma: Aftermath: The young Sandra L. Robinson is an associate professor in the hostages of Chowchilla. Psychology Today, 15(4), Department of Teacher Education and Instruction at 29-30. the University of South Carolina in Columbia. Trautman, D. H. (1987). When disaster strikes. This article originally appeared in the journal The International Quarterly, 5(4), 46-48. School Counselor and is reprinted with the permis- United States Department of State. (1986). sion of the American Association for Counseiing Managing children during a crisis. Washington, and Development. DC: Author. Wolman, B. B. (1978). Children's fears. New York: Grosset & Dunlap.

5 S 48 Children and Crises: A Develop- mental Guidance Approach

John Allan and Eileen Anderson

Arecent report in the Guidepost (Schappi, preventive thrust and put this into practice by 1985) on elementary school counseling opening the first Community Mental Health Clinic indicated a tremendous upswing of prob- in the United States. Caplan worked originally with lems and crises facing the elementary school-aged refugee children from World War II and Lindemann child. From the perspective of the field, this has counseled survivors and families of the bereaved been our experience too over the past fifteen years. from the 1944 Coconut Grove Night Club fire. However, to a certain extent crises are inevitable and Lindemann noticed two major patterns to this catas- we will all experience them throughout our lives. trophe: One pattern led to restoration of normal In response to a crisis a child can react with adap- emotional functioning and the other to the develop- five and/or maladaptive behaviors, both of which ment of symptoms and impaired functioning. These can have important implications for long-term func- findings led to an interest in understanding what tioning. Ideally, we need to train children ahead of conditions facilitate recovery from a crisis event. time for crisis events and provide them with a set of Definitions. Crisis is usually defmed as a variant coping skills. These might include: (a) an under- of stress which is so severe that the individual standing of what constitutes a crisis event, (b) an becomes disorganized and is unable to function awareness of the types of feelings and thoughts that effectively (Janosik, 1983). Crisis is a subjectively become activated by crisis, (c) the change in feeling perceived event which threatens individual needs or and thought that occurs over time and with help, and meaningful experiences. Crisis reactions often (d) the type of coping strategies and behaviors that become a cycle of mounting tension, anxiety, and help in a time of crisis. ineffective coping. The ability to think, plan and act This paper describes our guidance project that becomes impaired (Caplan, 1964). sought to help children develop the above skills. Lindemann (1979) emphasized the "hazardous" qualities of the event. He saw a hazardous quality as a sudden change in the social field within which a Literature Review person exists. This would include social relationships and an individual's expectation of him or Contemporary crisis theory stems from the work of herself. Caplan (1964) and Lindemann (1979) who worked Crises often fall into two major categories: (a) together and formulated a model for the prevention developmental crises which are universal and are and treatment of crisis reactions. They emphasized a often experienced while negotiating developmental

49 Developing Support Groups for Students

tasks, and (b) situational crises such as injury, We have noted a similar pattern of reaction in disaster or human action beyond one's own control children in acute crisis to that observed by Kubler- (i.e., death, divorce, illness). A person's reaction to a Ross (1969) in response to loss. This involves: developmental or situational crisis will reflect his or 1. Shock and denial. her past experience, personality and problem- 2. Emergence of intense feelings of grief and solving skills. A critical ingredient here is a person's anger. vulnerability to stress. 3. Bargaining. In order to determine how a person or child 4. Depression and hopelessness. responds to stress, Critchley (1981) suggests one 5. Reduction of intense affect, sometimes accom- must look at the interaction between risk events and panied by a sense of resolution and recovery or vulnerability factors. By vulnerability he is referring a sense of detachment andwithdrawal from to hereditary and congenital factors which either social interaction. increase or decrease a child's susceptibility to psychological and environmental stressors. He records Children do not go through these patterns or that low risk coupled with high vulnerability led to stages in a consistent way. Rather they tend to maladaptive patterns of behavior while high risk rapidly cycle in or out of the first four levels: one coupled with low vulnerability led to a surprising minute denying, the next weeping, then bargaining absence of disorders. Sandler (1980) found that and so on. The shock or denial stage is often hard mediating environmental influences (such as the for teachers and parents to understand or to relate to presence of two healthy parents and oldersiblings) positively because it seems the child actively resists played a critically important role in successful their attempts to help. This phase of shock and resolution. denial has important protective functions for the child's fragile ego, seeking to protect the child from overwhelming emotions. At this stage the parent or Types of Crises Affecting Children teacher needs to focus on relationship building and empathy. In an extensive study using the Stress Inventory Test, Sandier and Ramsay (1980) found that Loss Events (such as death of a parent, sibling, friend and Method divorce and separation) were the main eliciters of crisis reactions in children followed by Family Using a class discussion format proposed by Allan Troubles (abuse, neglect, and economic reversals and Naime (1984) we devised a discussion on the such as loss of job). Lower down on the scale were topic of "Children and Crises." The discussion Primary Environmental Change (moving, new consisted of six main phases spread over three 40- school, or mother begins work), Sibling Difficulties, minute lessons. The first lesson consisted of intro- Physical Harm (illness, accidents, and violence) and ductory and exploratory stimulus questions. The Disasters (fire, floods, earthquakes). students were asked their meanings for the word Saunders (1984) has noted that children in a crisis "crisis" and to describe the kinds of crises that affect or under constant and extreme stresstend to have children. The lesson ended with a drawing activity pervasive feelings of anxiety, confusion, failure and depicting a crisis experience that affected a child or entrapment. They are frequently sick, largely children. isolated, unable to concentrate, non-communicative In the second lesson, the students were asked to and often use the phrase "I don't know." They also write a story about a crisis situation that happened to have an uncooperative attitude, are generally them or to someone they knew or heard about. negative, defensive and easily angered and unable to Following this, those who wanted to could read their see the resources in others. story or show their picture to the class.

CO 50 Children and Crises: A Developmental Guidance Approach

The third lesson focused on understanding and Crisis Events That Affect Children actions. Stimulus questions were asked about how children feel in a crisis situation and what they think During the brainstorming, all classes readily filled about both during a crisis and six months later. They the chalkboard with 30-40 crisis events that happen then identified what helps a child in a crisis, what to children. Following this they were asked to helped them, how they might help others and how prioritize the three "biggest crises that happen to parents and teachers can help. Finally, the counselor children." There was considerable developmental summarind the main points of the discussions and variation here. Grade 2's listed accidents, loosing a asked the children what they learned. friend or a pet and illness. Teachers of these chil- We ran the project in two Grade 2 classes, two dren, however, listed divorce, death and fighting at Grade 5 and two Grade 8 classes. The primary home. Grade 5's highlighted death, divorce and classes focused mote on the drawing activity while fighting with friends, while Grade 8's listed school the Grade 8's did the writing activity rather than the expectations, family problems and peer pressures drawing. Grade 5 did both activities. (See Appen- well above all other crises. dix A for a copy of the discussion foimat.)

Writing and Drawing Activities Results These activities tended to elicit far deeper expres- The discussions were very well received by students sion of feeling and more painful self-disclosure than and teachers alike. The topic held everybody's the verbal discussions of crisis events. Also, the attention, there was considerable self-disclosure and more introverted children seemed to find it easier to a movement, at the end, toward resolution and read their story or show their picture to the class closure when students were asked to identify actions than to just stand up and talk. Some common themes that help in a time of crises. There was much will now be identified. disclosure of painful experiences but little evidence of a child being overwhelmed. The genuineness of Accidents the material shared seemed to activate support and caring from most of the students. This was very common with the younger children The findings from each level of discussion will and frequent mention was made of physical pain, now be given using examplesnthe children's cuts, bruises, broken legs, and visits to doctors and responses. dentists. The drawings tended to indicate either the presence or absence of a helping adult. Teachers noted that children who did not have caring parents Meaning of the Word "Crisis" tended to leave out adult figures from their drawings or stories. One lonely girl drew a sad figure of The word was written on the board and various herself with a broken leg and commented: meanings listed by the brainstorming process. From the listings, the class worked toward a composite This is when I fell off a trolley, broke my leg definition. For the Grade 2's a crisis was "Trouble, a and I had to spend the rest of summer just bad time, a bad problem"; for the Grade 5's, "When sitting there, not doing anything. I couldn't run something happens that's a matter of life and death, around or anything. It was sunny and I just had something that really upsets you"; and for the Grade to stay home. I was feeling pretty bad because 8's, "An unexpected big problem, without a quick all my other friends were out there playing. And solution, causing great embarrassment, pain and a then when I went back to school, everybody change of behavior." started kicking my leg to see if it hurt. But it hurt me more than it hurt them cause they kicked my toes.

51 Developing Support Groups for Students

Moving happens and when my cat, Bonnie died too. I felt bad. I still feel bad. This situation was frequently mentioned and activated hurt feelings around leaving friends, A Grade 5 student when commenting on the death grandparents, pets and a favorite or special house. of a relative's baby said: "My aunt told us not to talk Often anger at parents was mentioned as was fear of about it. That was a crisis for us." Many of the going to a new school. Once new friends were found stories centered on pets. the pain seemed to diminish. One 7-year old girl One morning in the summer vacation, I woke wrote: up and went downstairs to eat mybreakfast. I had to move from my very best friend. I felt After I got half way through my breakfast, my died, I very bad. I cried for a whole week. I told my mom and dad told me that my dog had mom 1 wanted to move back. She said we pushed away my cereal. I thought my mom and dad were joking. My mom said, "I wish I was." couldn't. I felt better after a week because I had I started to cry, my sister did too. I ran into the her phone number so I could talk to her. bathroom and took a kleenex. I tried to stop crying but I could not stop. My mom gave me a Illness hug and tried to cheer me up but it would not work. They told me how she died, she got hit by By illness students were referring to severe illness a car that night. I thought and thoughtabout her. and emergencies that led to hospitalization. These I cried a lot too. All that week I thought about stories and drawings were all very personal and her. We had a talk with my mom and dad. We often had a sense of urgency about them ("My mum decided that we would get two more cats. Me came rushing to the bus stop") and a senseof and my sister said, "yes', so about a month later dawning awareness of the reality of severe illness. A we got two cats. Grade 5 boy wrote: One day I heard that my oldest brother was in School hospital. It was during the summer so we Teachers were surprised by the number of students couldn't go on our summer vacation. The crisis that my brother had was cancer. A few days who found school to be a major source of crisis. later when my parents came home from the This was not mentioned by the Grade 2's, only a few hospital and my mom was crying because my Grade 5's but many Grade 8's. The comments cen- brother could hardly breath. And that's how he tered around failure and embarrassment: "Getting a almost died. Now my brother is living and he's 0 on a test," "Trying to learn something new," working with my third oldest brother. It was a "Doing your homework causes a crisis involving real shock to me. I'm glad he's not dead and your mum and teacher." However, when thestudents wrote about school they tended to focus on issues that he's living. with friends, especially peer pressure.

Death Peer Pressure The teachers were surprised by both the number of These stories reflected topics and issues that stu- death experiences children reported and how readily dents would seldom verbalize in the class discus- children talked about them. They were aware of how sion. They mostly all centered around quasi-illicit close to the surface the feelings still were even activities such as smoking, drugs, alcohol, stealing, though the event may have been some years pre- shop lifting, sexual contact, running away and huge viously. One boy wrote: fights with parents. Many of these crisis stories followed a similar theme: a common issue is revealed, A crisis is when my cat, Shalimar, was run over by a train. A crisis is when something bad then a much deeper struggle, followed by a release

52 Children and Crises: A Developmental Guidance Approach

of intense feeling (often hurt and anger at parents) aware that in conflictual home situations, seldom did ending with a resolution whereby the adolescents the parents take time to listen to the concerns and are able to change their frame of reference from self worries of the children and that allowing the to an understanding of others. Somehow the process children to talk in class helped the children feel of writing allowed for a cognitive movement. The better and relieved. Teachers were surprised by how following is a typical good example of this many children tended to blame themselves for their development by a Grade 8 girl. parents' difficulties. One Grade 8 girl wrote: A friend brought a smoke to school and offered I was so afraid when my parents decided to get me a drag. I said no right away. I. considered it a divorce. I thought it was all my fault. My all day. It seemed so harmless so I said I would mother kept telling me it wasn't but still I have just one drag. Once I did, I kept wanting thought I could have done something that would more. We'd skip out lunch and go back in some make them not want to be together anymore. bushes to smoke. A Grade 12 kid came with us Maybe because I was born. The other night, I sometimes. He always wanted to touch you in heard them having an argument because I didn't private places but I didn't want him to. Since he clear the table well. That's what I thought. My knew where we went at lunch, he'd come all the mother said she didn't want me with her, neither time. He'd even take his clothes off and want us did my dad. I thought of running away but to touch him. I didn't want to hang around these knew it wouldn't help. I had to talk to them and people anymore so I quit smoking and stayed ask them why they were getting a divorce. That with my real friends. I wrote about smoking in evening I talked to them and they said it's my diary and my mom saw it. I was really because they didn't love each other anymore upset. I told here that I had quit a week or so but they still loved me and wanted me to live earlier and I wasn't hanging around with that with each of them. I fmally realized it was not girl anymore. Of course she told my dad. They my fault. treated me like an outsider and never trusted me. My dad always said cruel things to me that Violence were totally unnecessary and made rude jokes. I got so mad at times that I didn't want to live Children of all ages were concerned about the anymore. I considered running away and killing violence in the world around them. Certainly a lot of myself. I didn't though because I knew even if this was derived from what they saw on television or they didn't act like it, my parents loved me and heard about in the news. There were two main would be more hurt. I realize now how they categories here: physical violence as in beatings, must have felt and I never want to hun them murder and child sexual abuse and fear of nuclear again. holocaust. A Grade 4 boy wrote: Yesterday on a show I saw a man who was Family Issues telling everybody how he murdered 3 girls ages As can be expected, this was a major source of of 8, 10, 12. In his apartments he had lots of girls clothing, pictures, and other things of girls. crises for some students. They drew and wrote about being overwhelmed by hurt and angry feelings, by The girls parents were on television. The being shouted at, put down and physically abused. mother was trying to explain how her daughter Uppermost was the pain over separation and was kidnapped but she couldn't because she divorce. One Grade 2 girl said, "Everything has was crying. She kept saying she wanted to kill been ruined and can never be mended." Another that man. This is a true story. The end. Grade 2 commented, "Every single day is a crisis A Grade 8 boy drew a nuclear bomb exploding and because no one at home likes me except my wrote, "A crisis is what we art doing to our planet mother's help. Whenever I try to ask a question my earth, cities burning, pain and war. I am scared. I dad just yells, "Stay out of it." Teachers became want it to skop but I can't do anything."

G 3 53 Developing Support Groups for Students

Understanding Phase relaxing oneself, and praying to God. The Grade 8's also relied on talking to parents, counselors and Once the stories and drawings have been shamd, the friends but also emphasized their own thinking counselor shifts the focus to helping the students abilities: "Think your problem over sensibly and try identify the various feelings experienced during a to find the best solution." "Finding out the real crisis. Once again the board is used for brainstorm- problem." "Think about what will happen after- ing and prioritizing. There was much similarity wards." "Consider options: What happens if I do between all groups here in the basic feelings of mad, this...or this?" and "Make a decision for yourself sad, bad, scarea and worried though the older and see how it works. Then get a second opinion." students added more sophisticated words: depressed, nervous, miserable, hysterical, shocked, stunned, desperate, suicidal, frustrated, disappointed, Termination Phase ashamed, embarrassed, guilt and confusion. Young children's thoughts during a crisis tended in many ways, this was the highlight of the unit as to be such action steps as calling forhelp, running both students and teachers responded positively to away, praying, playing with toys andtrying to the question, "What did you learn from these forget. Older children talked more deeply about their discussions?" Students reported, "Nearly all of us inner experience and self-blame: "Am I going to have had a crisis." "I'm not alone, not the only one." die?" The fear of the future "Will this ever end?" "It's good to talk about these things in class and "Everything is going wrong!" "More bad experi- learn from the other kids." "I learned that a crisis is ences will come." "Why is this happening tome?" a time that will pass and youwill feel better." "I "What did I do to cause this?" "It's all my fault," learned that it is important to care about another "You blame yourself." person because although they mightlook strong, Six months after a crisis younger children report inside they might be hurting." feeling "happy or glad" while older children report Teachers, in a separate meeting outside of class feeling relieved but still thinking about it every now time, mentioned how surprised they were that and again: "I was sad for over a year when my students opened up so much about emergencies that parents got divorced." "I still think about the whole were happening with friends and intheir families. thing and feel if I'd done this or that." "Every now They also commented on the degree of accuracy and again I think about him" (a friend who was with which the students understood the feelings of a killed). "I feel stupid that I didn't listen to my person in crisis. Teachers felt that thestudents' mum." These and other similar thoughts indicated feelings were very close to the surface and that the that there was still a lot of "unfinished psychological discussions seemed beneficial for class climate and business" around. peer relations. The discussions enabledthem to get to know more of the children better in a shortperiod of time. It was the first time many children had ever really opened up and shared painful experiences. Action Phase They thought that the children benefitted greatly from the discussions and were able to see crises in a Discussions during this phase changed the mood of broader context; namely, that other children have the classes to that of excitement over a positive crises and handle their feelings in a similar way to challenge. At first, in response to the question, them. Finally, the discussions enabled the teachers to "What helps you in a time of crisis?" the students identify students who needed and could benefit from nothing would were both surprised and stunned as if one-to-one counseling. help. However, once they started talking, they At the end of the guidance unit the counselor generated many action steps. Most of these involved summarized the main points. For example: talking to parents, teachers, counselors and friends, calling help lines and such actions as punching a In this class, crises were defined as.... The main pillow, crying, writing in journals, talking to pets, crises events affecting children were.... In

54 64 Children and Crises: A Developmental Guidance Approach

response to crises, students felt shock, pain... American Journal of Community Psychology, 8, and thought.... In a time of crisis it helped 285-302. children to talk with parents, teachers, friends Saunders, A. (1984, May). Stress: What makes kids and counselors and with time and effective help, vulnerable. Instructor, 28-32. the pain of a crisis seemed to move away. Schappi, A. C. (1985, September 5). Counselors shape students' outlook in grade school. Guidepost, 28, pp. 1,5. Conclusions

Every school and teacher will have to deal with Appendix A children in crisis. It is important that schools develop a policy on how to help such children and 1. Introduction train their teachers in the necessary theoretical understandings of crisis events and the basic com- Today we are going to talk about crisiswhat munication skills required to help children in times the word means and what types of crises of crisis. Children need: (a) a caring relationship, (b) children experience. We'll have a chance to support and empathic understanding, (c) structure write and draw pictures about crises and later and (d) appropriate information. The teacher needs we'll look at ways to help children who are in to: (a) assess the condition of the child and the a state of crisis. nature and severity of the crisis and (b) determine a. What does the word "crisis" mean? Let us whether or not a referral is needed. Group guidance discussions on crisis help students talk out their list the meanings on the board. b. What experiences or situations might make experiences, realize they are not alone, develop an for a crisis (list on board)? understanding of crisis events and learn the value of asking for help. 2. Exploration a. What kinds of crises affect children? (Lisi References on board.) b. Can you tell us about some of the crises you or children you have known have Allan, J., & Nairene, J. (1984). Class discussions in experienced? the elementary school for teachers and coun- sellors. Toronto: Guidance Center. Caplan, G. (1964). Principles of preventive Activity I psychiatry. New York: Basic Books. Can you draw a picture of a crisis situa- Critchley, D. (1981). Anthony's risk-vulnerability tion? Imagine a crisis sceneone that hap- model. Perspectives in Psychiatric Care, 29, pened to you or one that you heard about. 145-147. Close your eyes for a moment and let your Janosik, E. (1983). Crisis counseling: A con- mind drift back...what do you see and what temporary approach. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth. do you hear? Try to get the full picture.... Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. New Now open your eyes and start the drawing. York: MacMillan. Lindemann, E. (1979). Beyond grief: Studies in Activity II crises intervention. New York: Jason Aronson. Can you write a story about a crisis you Sandler, I. R. (1980). Social support resources, stress have experienced? What led up to the and maladjustment of poor children. American crisis; what was the crisis and what Journal of Community Psychology, 8, 41-52. happened later? What did you see or hear Sandler, I. R., & Ramsay, T. B. (1980). Dimensional about? If a crisis has not happened to you, analysis of children's stressful life events. you can write about one you heard of or

() ;

55 Developing Support Groups for Students

saw on TV or in a movie. Remember, it b. When you have been in a state of crisis, must have to do with children. what helped you? (List.) c.If your friend is in a state of crisis, what Sharing the Story and the Picture can you do to help? I would like to hear from you now. Will d. If someone in this class is in a state of some of you share your story and picture crisis, how can we help him or her? with us? e. How can your parents help you? f. How can your teachers help you? 3. Understanding 5. Termination a. How do children feel when they are in a state of crisis? (List on board.) What did you learn from these discussions? b. What do children think about when in a crisis? (List.) c. Whardo you think are the strongest thoughts or feelings? John Allan is an Associate Professor of Elementary d. Is it hard to help a child in a state of crisis? School Counseling on the Faculty of Education at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. e. How might a child think or feel six months Eileen Anderson is a special needs counselor for the after a crisis? Vancouver, British Columbia School Board. 4. Action Steps This article is also available in the ERIC system. a. Let's list the activities that might help a The ERIC Document Reproduction Service Number child who is experiencing a crisis. is ED 265 448.

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56 11 Tips: Talking With YourChild About War

Elizabeth Crary

6 6 hat is war?" "Is Daddy going to war zone will be safe. But you can hope they fight?" "Why don't they talk it will be safe, and explain what they are doing to out?" "Will the war come protect themselves. here?" "Will I be drafted?" These are not easy When Molly asks, "Will Uncle Bob die?" you questions. Regardless of our political opinions, can answer, "We hope he will be fine. Most our children look to us for emotional guidance. soldiers come back alive." 3. Accept children's feelings. Some parents, in an attempt to reassure their child, may cause more Talking With Children About War distress. For example, "Don't be scared. There is nothing to worry about. I will keep you safe." 1. Reassure young children that they will be This answer may cause confusion. If there is loved and taken care of. Most young children really nothing to worry about, why are grown- sense when their parents are upset. Reassure ups so upset? Instead a parent might respond, them that, "Mommy loves you. I'm upset about "Yes, war is scary," and then reassure them that something that is happening very far away. It's you love them and they will be cared for. not your fault that I'm worried." 4. Maintain routines. It is important with both Children are also aware of their vulnerability children and teens to follow their normal mu- and unaware of distance. Explain that the war is tine as much as possible. Sleep and eat at the too far away for the bombs and missiles to regular times. Attend school, sports and other reach us. People would have to drive days and activities as you have in the past. days to get there. 5. Limit the amount of war news children hear Mr. Rogers' puppet, King Friday XII, com- on radio, TV or in conversations. For most forts children when he proclaims, "All childmn children, and many adults, continuous war shall be well taken care of in this neighborhood news and discussion creates confusion, anger, and beyondin times of war and in times of or fear. peace." When children do watch the news, you might 2. Go easy on "positive" promises. Distinguish ask, "How do you think kids feel about this?" or between hopes and facts. No one can predict the "I'm wondering what is confusing about this for futum. You cannot promise that someone in the kids?"

r)I 57 Developing Support Groups for Students

6. Open avenues for discussion. Don't waitfor Many people feel children's play helps them your child to ask. If childrenthink you don't deal with the war the way talking helps adults. want to talk about "it," they won'task. Look for As long as the play does not disrupt their lives, the delicate balance between being willing to they believe it is okay. discuss events and feelings, and demanding dis- Other people are uncomfortable "practicing" cussion. violence in any form. They may choose to talk Gentle questions like, "I'm wondering what about why people (nations) resort to war and kids your age think about this war?" will be what other options are open. easier for most kids to answer than, "What do 11. Help your children find constructive re- you think?" Many children and teensdon't sponses to the war. One way toreduce anger, know what they think and others may not be stress, and anxiety is to do somethingwith your willing to talk about their feelings or ideas yet. feelings. The activity will be more helpful if it 7. Listen to kids. Do not interrupt. If your pre- has meaning to your child or teen. Brainstorm schooler has a peculiar view of the worldus- ideas or use the list below. ten. If your teen's opinions differ from yours. The activities can express your feelings, help listen. one learn more about thesituation, help some- Reflect their feelings and worries. For exam- one else or channel energyinto something ple, "Seems like you're worried Uncle Matt physical. may be drafted" or "You'reconfused. We tell you to use your words insteadof fighting, but Some possible activities: our country stoppedusing words and is Attend a peace march, support the troops fighting." rally, or prayer vigil with family or friends. 8. Discuss your feelings about the situationwith Start a journal of feelings or collect poems your children. They needmodels for talking or drawings about how youfeel. about and coping with feelings. For example, Learn and practice negotiation skills. (See "I'm angry about this war. I am upset at solving Problem Solving Series by Elizabeth Crary.) differences with violence." Plant seeds as hope for the future. Include the different conflicting feelings you Spend time creating peace in your family: feel. For example, "I'm proud Aunt Patti will read stories together, play family games, help track planes, and I'm scared shewill be watch a family video, look at picture hurt." albums, and talk about the fun and feelings People who have not had much experience pictured. talking about their feelings with kids may find it Develop a family structure for resolving easier to begin by talking about feelings using conflict peacefully. For example, start a books. (See list below.) family council. Practice talking about everyday feelings. 9. Share with children how you cope with your Read stories and play games that share feelings. Most parents have strong feelings feelings. (See list below.) about the war. For example, you might attend a Write letters to national and world leaders peace rally or march, write aletter, organize a prayer vigil, listen to soothingmusic, get explaining your position. Organize a bake sale or collect aluminum together with comforting friends, clean out cans, and give money to theRed Cross. closets, etc. Learn more about the people (countries) 10. Talk about war play and physicalviolence. involved and write a story or play about how Distinguish between what is real and what is things could have been resolved better. pretend. With the increase in war talk, some Draw a picture or make a song about how children want to play warit is their way of you would like theworld to be. trying to understand what is happening.

58 11 Tips: Talking With Your Child About War

Get exercise: walking, running, biking, Negotiation and problem solving skills: The swimming reduce stress levels. Children's Problem Solving Series (I Want it,* I Make peace with someone you are mad at. Want to Play,* I Can't Wait,* and My Name Is Not Collect newspapers from other countries and Dummy*) and The Decision Is Yours Seri s see their view of what is happening. (Finders' Keepers,* Bully on the Bus,* and Making Write letters to relatives or others in the Grade*). service to tell them you care about them. *Books $4.95 each, other items' prices vary. Available from Parenting Press, 11065 5th Ave., NE, A Few Resources Seattle, WA 98125, or 1-800-9c4-6657.

Call your local crisis line, children's or local hospital for information or support. Feelings activities: Let's Talk About Feelings Elizabeth Crary is the publisher of Parenting Press and a parent education coordinator at Washington series: Nathan's Day at Preschool* and Ellie's Day,* One Dozen Feeling Games, Ups & Downs with State Community College in Seattle. Feelings Game, Paper People Feelings, and Affir- This information is reprinted here with the per- mations. mission of Parenting Press in Seattle, Washington.

59 Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm

A Special Handout for Parents

Debby Waddell and Alex Thomas

Background Emotional Responses

With the crisis in the Middle East, your Emotional responses vary in nature and severity child is experiencing something totally from child to child. Nonetheless, there are some new and potentially quite frightening. common ways children (and adults) feel when their American children today have never experienced lives are impacted by war. war as a reality. Our children need support in dealing with this crisis. Fear: Fear may be the predominant reaction Also unique is the impact of the media on our fear for the safety of those in the military as well as children's thinking. They have been exposed to fear for their own safety. Children's picture of war violenceboth real and fictionalin unprecedented may include a bomb dropped on their home. Their amounts since they were born. Violence is replayed worries may seem unreasonable, but to them, they on television almost as soon as it occurs, and war are quite possible. The threat of terrorism may also can be seen on the nightly news. add to their fear. Today's students also live in the world of Star Loss of control: Military actions are something Wars and super heroes. Adults may realize Luke over which children (and most adults) have no Skywalker is fiction, but for children this is not so control. Lack of control can be overwhelming and easy. Youngsters have difficulty separating reality confusing. Children may grasp at any control which and fantasy. Children who believe in Santa Claus they can have. can just as easily believe in Darth Vader and Ninja Anger: Anger is not an unusual reaction. Turtles. Separating the realities of Desert Storm Unfortunateo, anger is often expressed to those with from fantasy may require adult help. As parents, it is whom the children are most secure. Children may be our responsibility to help our children distinguish angry at parents who are in the military to the extent between fantasy and malt. that they do not even want to write letters. Knowing

70 61 Developing Support Groups for Students that those who are involved in the military are Older children in particular may need help volunteers only helps to justify anger. Patriotism and identifying what they individually believe about war duty are abstract concepts for children, especially and the role the United States has chosen in this younger children, who areexperiencing the reality conflict. Questions such as "Could my parent shoot of separation from a loved one. someone?" and "How can anyone kill an Iraqi Loss of stability: War interrupts the natural soldier who is only 12-13---no older than I?" are order of things. With the lack of stability trust can be issues which may need discussion. destroyed. Help your children put their fears in per- Isolation: Children who have a family member spective. involved in Desert Storm but don't live near a Acknowledge the sanctity of each human life military base may feel isolated. Children of reserve while letting children know that the chance of any members called to active duty may not know others one individual returning from theMiddle East is in the same situation. Such children may feel jealous very high. Death rates in U.S.conflicts have steadily of friends' undisturbed families and may strike out dropped from the time of the Revolutionary War to a at signs of normalcy around them. low of 0.5% in the Vietnam War. With increases in Another group of children who may feel isolated technology and medical advances, military statistics are dependents of militaryfamilies who have suggest a potential loss ratio of 0.3% from battle and accompanied a remaining parent back to a home- 0.1% from other causes in the Middle East. town or who are staying with relatives whileboth Help students to feel personally safe. One of these experi- parents are gone. Not only do these children techniques may help: ence separation from parents, butthey also experience the loss of familiar faces andsurroundings. Technology vs. science fiction: Discuss what is real. Help children to understand that the longest range missile that Iraq has can reachIsrael, but What Can I do as a Parent? cannot reach the United States. Discusshow far Iraqi war planes can fly without refueling (about Acknowledge your children's feelings. 1,000 miles) and the difficulty of refueling any- Knowing what to say is often difficult. When no where between Iraq and the United States. Let chil- other words come to mind, a hug and saying "This is dren share their fears and put them in perspective as really hard for you/us" may work. to what is real. Try to recognize the feelings underlying your Prevention: Help children understand that children's actions and put them into words. Saying precautions are being taken to prevent terrorism something like, "I can see you are feeling really (e.g., bomb sniffing dogs, passport checks, height- scared about this," or "It makes us mad to think that ened airport security) which might actually make our dad had to go to SaudiArabia," can be helpful. them safer now than they usually are. Children may have an overwhelming fear that Rumors: Deal with fears about Desert Storm they are unable to put into words which you may being the beginning of the end of the world, or need to voice for them. For instance, if a parent is bombs reaching the local community. away, children may wonder whatwill become of Empower children: Help children to feel a them if the parent does not return. Try saying, "You sense of control by taking actionssuch as: never have to worry becausewe/you will be well Contacts: Send letters, cookies or maga- taken care of. You won't be alone. Let me tell you zines to those in the military. our plan...." Helping: Help your older child find a family At times when your children are most upset, who has a parent in the Middle East and don't deny the seriousness of the situation.Saying to arrange some volunteer babysittingtime for children, "Don't cry, everything will be okay," does that family. not reflec', how the child feels and does notmake them feel better. Nevertheless, don't forget to express hope and faith that thingswill be all right.

62 Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm: A Sptcial Handout for Parents

If a family member is away, make plans for some of television news they watch by finding other special activities: activities for them. You may also need to watch less Gatherings with other families who are also news and spend more time in alternative family activities. missing a loved one help provide support for you as well as for your childien. Use outside support services if your child has a Special parent and child times can provide an severe reaction. Your school psychologist or coun- extra sense of security which might be badly selor can assist or provide names of other profes- needed. Let your child know that you will set aside a sionals trained to work with childmn. particular half hour each day to play. Make the time If family income is reduced due to Desert as pleasant and child-centered as possible. Return Storm, try not to let financial strains be a major phone calls later and make your child the real focus concern to chile en. Tell them why you may have to of that special time. cut back on expenses, but be cautious about placing Involve children in planning how to cope. major burdens on them. Control and ownership are fostered when children Take time for yourself and try to deal with your help to plan strategies fer dealing with a situation. own reactions to the situation as fully as possible. This, too, will help your children. Always be honest with your child and do not be Difficulties with Children at Night afraid to talk to others about your fears and concerns. Maintain regular bedtime routines such as storytime to provide a sense of security. Special stuffed animals or blankets may be especially Debby Waddell is a psychologist in independent important right now. practice in Columbus, Ohio. Sit near your child until he/she falls asleep for a few nights. Gradually withdraw this support until Alex Thomas is an Associate Professor of Educa- your child feels secure again. tional Psychology at Miami University in Oxford, A light may be needed in your child's room. Ohio. Siblings may want to sleep in the same room The National Association of School Psychologists until they feel more secure. granted permission to ER1C/CAPS to mproduce this II Don't let your children focus too much of their information. time and energy on Desert Storm. Limit the amount

63 Children and War--Respondingto Operation Desert Storm

A Special Handout for Teachers

Debby Waddell and Alex Thomas

Background family member is not involved, a friend or a classmate's father, mother, brother or sister may be. All Students in the U.S. today have never experi- students need the support of caring adults to help enced war as a reality. Although the United them deal with this crisis. States has engaged in some brief military actions, never have our students experienced anything like the events that began with Iraq's invasion Emotional Responses of Kuwait and the initiation of Operation Desert Storm. Emotional responses vary in nature and severity Also unique to the experience of students of the from student to student. Students' reactions are nineties is the impact of the media on their thinking determined by their previous experiences, their and feeling. They have been exposed to violence temperament and personality, and the immediacy of both real and fictionalin unprecedented amounts. the crisis to their own lives. Nonetheless, some Real violence is replayed on television almost as commonalities exist in how students (and adults) soon as it occurs. feel when their lives are impacted by war. Today's students also live in the world of Star Wars and super heroes. Luke Skywalker may be Fear: Fear may be the predominant reaction of quickly relegated to the realm of fiction by adults, many studentsfear for the safety of relatives and but for students this is not so easy. Youngsters have friends in the military or fear for their own safety. difficulty separating reality and fantasy. Students' picture of war may include a bomb being Students who believe in Santa Claus,can just as dropped on their home or school. Their worries may easily believe in Darth Vader and Ninja Turtles. seem unreasonable, but to them, they are quite real. Thesesame students may have difficulty separating The threat of terrorism may be a reason for students the realities of Desert Storm from fantasy. to fear for their personal safety, although statistically Almost every American student is likely to have the chance of any one student being a victim of some personal contact with Desert Storm. If a terrorism is very remote.

65 Developing Support Groups for Students

Loss of control: Military actions are something technology and medical advances, military statis- over which students, and most adults,have no ticians suggest a potential loss ratio of 0.3% from control. Feelings of loss of control can be over- battle and 0.1% from other causes in the Middle whelining. Students may grasp at any control which East is available to them. Help students to feel personally safe. One of these Anger: Anger is not an unusual reaction. techniques may help: Unfortunately, anger is often expressed to those with whom the student is most secure. Students may be Human map: Using proportions from a map, angry at parents who are away in themilitary to the have some students stand where Iraq, Saudi Arabia, extent that they do not want to write letters. Know- and other Middle East countries are; let others ing that those who are involved in the military are represent European countries, and have some repre- volunteers only helps to justify that anger. Patriotism sent the United States. Discuss the distances and and duty are abstract concepts, especially for how long they take to travel. Even high school younger students who are experiencing thereality of students may profit from an activity such as this. separation from a loved one. Technology vs. science fiction: Discuss what is Loss of stability: War interrupts the natural real. Help students understand that the longest range order of things. With the lack of stability trust can be land-based missile that Iraq has can reach Israel, it destroyed. cannot reach the United States. Discuss how far Isolation: Students who have a family member Iraqi war planes can fly without refueling (about involved in Desert Stonn but do not live on or near a 1,000 miles) and the difficulty of refueling military installation may experience feelings of anywhere between Iraq and the United States. Let isolation. If a student's parents are reserve members students share their fears and put them in perspec- called to active duty, he or she may be the only one tive as to what is real. in the school directly impacted. That student may Prevention: Help students understand that feel jealous of other students and their undisturbed precautions are being taken to prevent terrorism families and may strike out at signs of normalcy (e.g., bomb sniffing dogs, passport checks, increased around them. airport security) which might actually make them Another group of students who may feel isolated safer now. are dependents of military familieswho have Religion and rumors: Deal with fears that accompanied a remaining parent back to a home- Desert Storm may be the beginning of the end of the town ok who are staying with relatives while both world as some have predicted based on revelations parents are gone. Not only do these students experi- or other religious teachings, or that bombswill reach ence separation from paronts, but theyalso experi- the local community, which may originate from ence the loss of friends, teachers, andsurroundings playground rumors. with which they were familiar. III Expression of feelings: Allow students to express feelings in a non-judgmental andsupportive environment. For a class that has numerous students What Can I Do as a Teacher? directly involved, a special time might be set aside regularly to discuss feelings and issues. For a class Unless circumstances dictate otherwise, always with less direct involvement, specific students might be honest with students. There is never the abso- need extra time to talk with you or with the school lutely right thing to say or do. psychologist, school counselor, or school social Help students put their fears in perspective. worker. Acknowledge the sanctity of each human life You might also put families from your school who while letting students know that the chance of any are directly impacted by the war in contactwith one individual returning from theMiddle East is each other. very high. Death rates in U.S. conflicts havesteadily Clarify values: Consider initiating discussion dropped from the time of the Revolutionary War to a on values clarification. Students mayneed help low of 0.5% in the Vietnam War. With increases in identifying wh..they individually believe about war

66 Children and WarResponding to Operation Desert Storm: A Special Handout for Teachers and the role the United States has chosen in this ing to their feelings and needs. If a student has conflict. Such discussion could include questions relocated because of separation from parent(s), set such as "Could my parent shoot someone and how up a network of others to get the new student do I feel about that?" and "How can anyone shoot an involved. Iraqi soldier who is only 12 years old (or my age)?" Support services: Identify support services for Empower students: Help students to feel a students and families needing assistance beyond sense of control by taking actions such as: what can be provided in school. Try contacting Send letters or cookies to those in the mental health agencies, human service organiza- military. tions, local churches and synagogues. Initiate a flag flying project where students Loss of wages: Be sensitive to financial strains seek to develop community participation in which war might exacerbate. If a civilian parent is flying flags until the crisis is resolved. placed on active duty, his/her salary may drop. If Put together a volunteer babysitting network many military personnel are deployed from an area, through which older students sit for children support and service industry jobs may be at risk due of families who have been directly im- to decreased business, pacted. Ask students to think about the men and National Association of School Psychologists women in the Middle East prior to the 8455 Colesville Road, Suite 1000 Pledge of Allegiance or involve them in an Silver Spring, Maryland 20910 additional patriotic activity. 301-608-0500 Involvement: Involve students in planning how to cope. Control and ownership are fostered when students help to plan strategies for dealing with a Debby Waddell is a psychologist in independent situation. Students often have practical and creative practice in Columbus, Ohio. ideas for coping. Alex Thomas is an Associate Professor of Educa- Racism: Be careful not to stereotype or demean the Iraqi people. Children can easily generalize tional Psychology at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. negative statements and develop prejudice. Isolation/Support: Pay special attention to The National Association of School Psychologists students who may feel isolated. If only one student granted permission to ERIC/CAPS to remduce this in a class has a parent who is involved, others can information. make that student feel special for awhile by attend-

67 Responding to StudentorTeacher Death: Preplanning Crisis Intervention

James R. Sorensen

Crisis caused by the sudden death of a student or teacher can be averted 2. The building's regular schedule is suspended and classes or diminished via a preplanned tea.atervention approach. The guide-are assigned to large group meetings, where the students can lines and strategies of a field-proven intervention program are described. listen and talk with crisis team membersor consultants. people in crisis often experience anxiety, feelings of vul- 3. Crisis team members can lead classroom discussions. nerability, and difficulty (Lindermann, 1944; Specter & 4. Crisis team members speak with faculty at staff meetings Claiborn, 1973). The sudden death o(a student or teacherabout their con, -ns. may produce a aisis for students and faculty alike. 5. A base is established in the building for staff support,as Much has recently been written about response plans to they try to handle their classes during the crisis (wake, funeral, schoolwide crises of this nature (Allan & Anderson, 1986; Hunt,etc.). Refreshments and coffee are helpful. 1987; Pelej, 1987; Stevenson, 1986; Zinner, 1987). This article 6. Members of the crisis team cover classes for those teachers describes a preplanned crisis intervention approach that has who seem especially upset or who need time torecover from been implemented successfully by the Easton, Massachusetts, the shock of the bad news. public schools. 7. Team members help the teachers develop activities for dealing with death and dying in the classroom. 8. Many individuals, students and teachers alike, will be MEMBERSHIP AND PURPOSE reminded of loved ones they may have lost. Team memberscan The 12 members of the Easton crisis team include guidancetalk with these individuals and help themcope with their re- visited grief. counselors, school psychologists, and administrators. In combination, these individuals have strong clinical skills, knowledge 9. Parents of children who need special attentionare called of how school buildings function, experience with crisis inter- for information sharing and/or parental guidance. vention and education in systems thinking. 10. Crisis team members help the building administrator develop a press release and a strategy for dealing with the media The simplest procedure to activate the crisis intervention team (when necessary). is a prearranged telephone chain. A call from the building administrator is sufficient to initiate an assessment/intervention meeting. APPLICATION During this meeting between the administrator and crisis team, the following areas are addressed: the intensity and nature ofAn example of this approach is that of the suicide death ofa the building crisis, the emotional needs of students and staff,third-grade teacher in the Easton public schools. During the identification of the high-risk population, parental involvementassessment/intervention meeting, the team calculated that the crisis would last for a few days and would extend to the entire and contact, and shod-term and/or long-term intervention strat- school. egies. Following the evaluation of these five areas, a collective decision is made about the intervention strategies to be em- Crisis team members employed a number of intervention ployed. strategies. Two team members and the principal worked solely with the third grade, providing group discussion, classroom Following is a partial list of strategies which the Easton crisis activities, and individual counseling. Other crisis team members team has employed. Any combination of these intervention handled the phones and contacted specific parents and devel- strategies or others can be scheduled over 2 or 3 days of building oped a press release and a letter to all parents. The mini-coun- support. seling centers were very busy helping scores of children through the grief and tears. Teacher time-out was provided by the team. 1. The building maintains its regular schedule, but a coun-In the end the team nurtured the heahng process and fostered a return to normalcy. seling center (or centers) is set up to help small groups of students cope with the crisis. Students who need help and support In the following weeks the administrators, teachers, andeven or who are too upset to be in class could spend time in theseparents expressed appreciation and reported that the interven- centers. tion process was immensely valuable.

69 Developing Support Groups for Students

Stc ?nson, R. (1986). How to handle d.eath in the schools. Tips for Prin- REFERENCES guid- ,ipals, Reston, VA: National Association of Secondary School Princi- Allan, J., & Anderson, E. (1986). Children and crisis: A classroom pals. ance approach. Ekmentary School Guidance andCounseling, 21, 143-149. Hunt, C. (1987). Step by step: How your school can livethrough the Zinner, E. (1987). Responding to suicide in schools: A case study in loss tragedy of teen suiades. The American School Board Journal, 174, intervention and group survivorship. Journal of Counseling and Deuel- 34-37. opment, 65, 499-501. Lindemann, E. (1944). Symptomatology and management of acutegrief. American Journal of Psychiatry, 101, 141-148. Pelei, J. (1987, April). Help your school survive a suicide. TheExecutive fames R. Sorensen is a psychologist, Psychological Services Department, Oliver Ames High School, Northeaston, Massachusetts. Correspondence regarding this Educator, 26-31. Specter, G., & Claibom, W. (Eds.). (1973). Crisis Intervention(Vol. 2). article should be sent to lames R. Sorensen, Psychological Services Dept., Oliver New York: Behavioral Publications. Ames High School, 100 Lothrop St. Northeaton, MA 02356.

This article originally appeared in the Journal of Counseling and Development and is reprinted here with the permission of the American Association for Counseling and Development.

70 The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers

With and Without Peer Support Groups

Ross E. Gray

ne of the major crises people have to face is Although it has been shown that social support the death of a parent. Many retrospective affects teenagers' adaptation to bereavement, there 0studies have reported an increased likeli- is still much to be understood about how this hood of psychopathology later in life for individuals support works. Two key questions that need to be who have lost a parent during childhood or adoles- addressed are (a) who tends to provide help to cence (e.g., Beck, Sethi, & Tuthill, 1963; Birtchnell, bereaved teenagers and (b) how these people are 1970; Brown, Harris, & Copeland, 1977; Dennehy, helpful. One purpose of this study was to attempt to 1966). The few studies that have focused on non- illuminate this by reporting the perceptions of clinical populations have shown that problems may bereaved teenagers about the helpfulness of others be apparent several years after an early loss (Balk, in their environment. 1983a; Dietrich, 1979; Markusen & Fulton, 1971). A second purpose of this study was to consider Because of the potentially negative consequences of how school counselors may best provide helpful the death of a parent, it is important to consider the support to bereaved teenagers. Some literature has influence of factors that could lessen the difficulties already focused on one or more strategies for pro- of the bereaved child or teenager. One such factor is viding support. Several writers, for example, have social support. discussed how professionals can be helpful through Social support has been shown to affect the an individual counseling relationship (Atkinson, adaptation of both childirn and adults to the death of 1980; Balk, 1983b; Rosenthal, 1980a). There have a family member over time (Elizur & Kaffman, not, however, been any systematic attempts to 1983; Hilgard, Newman, & Fisk, 1960; Vachon et evaluate the usefulness of this approach with al., 1980). This relationship between support and bereaved teenagers. A second, less direct strategy adaptation to bereavement also seems to hold true for dealing with bereavement issues has involved for teenagers. In this study we found that teenagers death education courses. The usual focus of such who scored higher on a measure of social support programs has been on altering attitudes toward were significantly less depressed than were those death. Programs have typically been evaluated by who scored lower on the same measure. researchers in terms of changes in students' attitudes

71 Developing Support Groups for Students toward and anxiety about death (Mueller, 1976; had been born in Canada; the remaining 10 had Rosenthal, 1980b). The question of whether this immigrated from other countries. The mean age of general educational approach benefits individuals participants at the time of the parent's death was who have suffered a major loss has yet to be seri- 14.9 years, and the mean time elapsed since the ously addressed. A third strategy has been suggested death was 28.6 months. by Balk (1983b), who states that counselors could All but a few of the participants were students at a approach friends of a bereaved teenager and discuss public secondary school in Peel County at the time some of the ways they might behelpful. The inter- of the interview. Other participants were identified esting implication of this strategy is that support through the assistance of the Mississauga Hospital from peers would provide help in a more familiar and the Community Contacts for the Widowed, a context than would be true for the directcounselor- Toronto program. Half of the participants had been student relationship. There have been no detailed involved in a peer support group for bereaved descriptions of how this strategy might work in teenagers at their local secondary school. The practice and no documented attempts to evaluate the remaining participants had attended a school where helpfulness of this peer-focused intervention. support groups were not offered. The author sought Another strategy that counselors have used to pennission for involvement in the study from the assist bereaved teenagers is that of peer support teenagers themselves and from the surviving parent groups. Although useful descriptionsof such groups when the teenager was under legal age. Most have been provided (Baxter, 1982; Furman & Pratt, interviews were conducted at the school of the 1985; Morawetz, 1982), them has been no system- participant, and where this was not possible, a atic reporting of feedback from group participants meeting was arranged either at a local hospital or at about their experience. the university office of the interviewer. This article presents such feedback, along with a All participants were given several standardized description of a peer support program and a discus- psychological tests. In addition, a semi-structured sion of ways to make programs most effective. Also interview was conducted in which participants were included is a discussion of general issues facing asked to rate the helpfulness of various people in counselors who would like to help bereaved teen- dealing with their loss. They were also asked to agers. The peer support-group program tobe dis- describe how these people had been helpful. cussed in this article has been operating since 1979 Descriptions of helpfulness were scored according in public secondary schools in Peel County, Ontario, to a modified version of Gottlieb's (1978) classifi- Canada. Baxter (1982) has provided an earlier cation scheme for informal helping behaviors. Those description of groups that have been run in one of students who had participated in a peer support the schools in this system . group were also asked somespecific questions about the structure, function, and perceived helpfulness of these groups. Method

Fifty persons were interviewed, all of whom had lost Perceptions of the Helpfulness of Others a parent through death duringadolescence within the last 5 years. Of the 50 participants, 34 were The Family female and 16 were male adolescents. In 31 instances the father had died, and in 19 instances the Perceptions of participants varied considerably with mother had died. Cancer was identified as the most regard to the helpfulness of family members in frequent cause of death (58%), followed by heart dealing with loss. For example, 34% of teenagers attacks (24%) and accidents (6%). Social class reported that their surviving parent was "very composition was divided fairly evenly between helpful," but 30% rated the parent as "not at all lower, middle, and upper classes. Forty individuals helpful." Of those teenagers who found parents

72 The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers unhelpful, some reported wishing they had received Teachers more support, but others reported that they had been unable or unwilling to accept support that was Participants reported that their teachers were often offered. One of the possible implications of these unhelpful (42%) or were helpful only in minimal findings is that counselors may be able to play a role ways. Although it could be expected that teachers in facilitating family relations following a loss. One would not play a major role in the support of aspect of such a potential 'tole might be to encourage bereaved teenagers, teachers often overlooked parent-teenager communication about the mutual opportunities to be helpful. When teachers made task of mourning. A second aspect might be to dis- simple statements of being sorry or indicated their cuss with teenagers some of the inevitable difficul- willingness to talk, bereaved students often ties that arise in a family as a result of losing one of experienced these attempts to assist as helpfulas its members. For example, several participants com- long as they were expmssed in private. Participants mented that it had been helpful to talk with a coun- (34%) said they often regarded teachers as helpful selor about problems they were having with the sur- when they were willing to adjust their expectations viving parent or with a new stepparent. Finally, teen- to allow for the distress of a bereaved student. Such agers may become more able to communicate with adjustments included spending extra time with a their parent if they have an opportunity to share student on academic assignments, rescheduling some of their own feelings about loss with a coun- exams, and extending due dates. Some teachers selor. (22%) provided support that was more emotionally sustaining; this tended to occur when the teacher had Peers been close to the student before the loss or when the teacher was able to talk to the student about his or Bereaved teenagers in this study most often (40%) her own experience(s) of loss. reported that the "most helpful person" in dealing Many participants described ways in which with their loss was a peer. This was true for teen- teaclris weir not helpful to them. Participants fre- agers who were involved in support groups and for quently mentioned, for example, that teachers who those who were not. Despite this finding, many told students to buckle down and focus on their participants reported that only one or two friends schoolwork were not helpful. It is unrealistic to had been helpful or that just peers in the support expect students who have recently suffered a loss to group had been helpful. Frequently, the larger keep their academic work up to pm-loss standartls. It network of peers seemed to withdraw from the was also considered unhelpful if teachers drew bereaved person, leaving him or her feeling socially attention to the students, as this only served to isolated and abnormal. Teenagers did not want to be embarrass them. A few students reported dealing treated in a special way by their peers and they with teachers who were openly hostile to them after wanted to be included in activities as usual. This their loss. There is, then, a potential role for coun- tended not to be true for close friends who could be selors in informing teachers about how they can be confided in or who could provide other kinds of helpful and in advocating sensitive treatment of emotionally sustaining support. students. Support-group participants in this study were much more likely to report that they felt peers Counselors and School Nurses understood them after their loss than did other bereaved teenagers (76% versus 8%). In addition, The perceived helpfulness of school counselors and support-group participants less often reported that school nurses was dramatically higher for teenagers peers helped by distracting them from the pain of who had been in a support group than for those who their loss (16% versus 40%). Perhaps this shows that had not. For example, 68% of teenagers partici- the kind of support available through groups helped pating in support groups reported that a counselor or teenagers to overcome the urge to flee the pain that nurse had been "emotionally supportive," compared is necessary to resolve the mourning process. with 24% of those who did not participate in groups.

73 Developing Support Groups for Students

This does not necessarily mean that one needs to aspects of dealing with bereaved people is to allow start a peer support group to be helpful. It does them to feel pain. This is necessary if they am going mean, however, that without a formalintervention to be able to reinvest in life in a healthy way later program like the peer support group, somediffi- on. It will be helpfiil, then, if a counselor isable to culties may arise that may make helpfulness less accept a student's suffering and let him or her know likely. First, without a formal intervention program, that it is both acceptable and normal. there may be more problems in identifying bereaved persons in the school than there would bewith such The Peer Support Group Program a program. At several schools contactedfor this study, counselors were unable to identify any stu- In this program, bereaved teenagers typically were dents who had lost a parent. This improbable situa- invited to attend sessions by group leaders and met tion would suggest that the school's system for individually with them to receive information about detecting and transmitting such important infor- the group. If the student was under legal age, the mation was inadequate. Counselors cannot offer or parent(s) or legal guardian(s) were informed. All give assistance if they do not know about a loss. group participants perceived this styleof approach Another problem can develop because some coun- to be appropriate. At the initial meetingsbetween selors tend to focus exclusively on academic diffi- students and group leaders, they discussed the culties, particularly if a student comes to the coun- importance of confidentiality, and the leaders selor's attention because of a sudden drop in grades. explained that the group is for mutual support and Several teenagers interviewed in this study, for not for therapy. Of the group participants, 68% later example expressed resentment toward counselors remembered being given this information, and 40% who they believed were only worried about their believed that it was important information for them marks and not about them. Although it can be useful to have. This may suggest that many teenagersdo to assist students with academic problems,it may not make meaningful discriminations between the also be helpful to allow bereaved teenagers some supportive and therapeutic intervention models. space in which they can deal withpainful emotions. Although the focus of this study was on teenagers Counselors may be able to provide this space for who had lost a parent, peer support groups usually some teenagers. have members who have lost others from their It is often difficult to approach bereaved teenagers immediate or extended families or a close friend or about their loss. They may be reluctant to talk about lover. Most students believed it was appropriate to it or they may feel embarrassed that they are new have people in the group with such a wide range of viewed as different and in need of help or both. Too losses. A minority (20%) said that group member- often, bereaved teenagers have not accepted open- ship should be limited to those who had lost an ended invitations to come and talk because they felt immediate family member. More than 90% of the awkward doing so. It would seem more appropriate participants believed it would be inappropriate to to find a way to check with a student regularly.If a include students in the group who had lost a parent student does not want to taLk about the loss, that is through divorce rather than through death. fine, but at least he or she may sense that the coun- Another factor in organizing groups is size. selor cares. With such a strategy, it would, of course, Several students said they had belonged to large be important to avoid making the student feel groups and that this had made itdifficult for all stigmatized by involvement with a counselor. In any members to get a chance to express themselves counseling relationship, it is essential that the adequately. Estimates of the ideal group size ranged normality of mourning be continuously stressed. from five to nine. Helping professionals often tend to try to find Because the setting for group meetings is impor- ways to make everything better.Certainly, it is im- tant, leaders attempted to provide a place wherethe portant to do what can be done torelieve unneces- teenagers would be comfortable. Groupmeetings sary suffering. Yet, one of the mostfundamental were held during school hours and atvarious times

S 74 The Role of School Counselors With BereavedTeenagers

of in the different schools in whichinterviews were reflecting on what had happened over the weeks conducted. Regard lest, of which schoolthey meeting together. Regardless of theformat of the attended, 80% of the students said theybelieved actual termination meeting, it seemsessential that their group was held at the best possible time.This students get an opportunity, at some point, totalk response tendency indicates thatthere may actually about their inevitable feelings of lossabout the be no best time for groupmeetings and that group's disbandment. As with the loss of aloved teenagers tend to use whateveropportunity they one, the loss of a support groupwill take a certain have to discuss loss-related issues. amount of adjustment. Typically, in the first group session, participants The number of weeks over which support groups tell the group the details of who has diedand how. met varied by school, with a rangeof approximately The leader encourages all members to taketheir turn 8 to 12 weeks. Twenty-five percent ofparticipants 17% said in this process but does not pressure them todo so if said the groups should have been longer, indicated they do not feel ready. Although this sessionis often they should have been shorter, and the rest quite difficult for everyone, 80% of the persons they were satisfied with the length oftheir group. interviewed said they believed it was necessary to One possible solution to such differingneeds would for three begin in this way. be to give students an option of continuing After the first meeting, the content of group or four sessions after thefirst eight or nine meetings. discussions has been determined primarily by the This would allow students to have more timeif they participants. Some topics the discussions typically believed they needed it, and students whofelt they cover are: had finished could drop out in an acceptable manner. It is interesting that 40% of the teenagersinter- 1. Feelings of guilt and anger viewed said they would have liked somekind of 2. Difficulties in relations with thesurviving structured, ongoing support after the groupended. parent and other family members Although students were invariably told todrop in 3. Memories about and hallucinationsof the and talk with group leaders if theywanted to do so, deceased such contact was too difficult for someteenagers to 4. School problems initiate. It may, therefore, be more useful to structure 5. Difficulties relating to peers followingloss ongoing contacts with students formallyafter the 6. Dealing with fears of one's ownand others' group endsunless theyprefer no further contact. deaths It is important that individuals who leadbereave- 7. The funeral and other rituals related toloss ment support groups beadequately prepared to do Sometimes, structured exercises may be used to so. The most basicrequirement is that they be rela- death. encourage discussionif the group seems stuck. tively comfortable with the issues of loss and Several exercises that have been used are: In addition, it would be helpful forthem to have some training in group processand in bereavement I. Having group members write downquestions counseling. Such training has been availablefor that they might be tooembarrassed to raise in leaders of the support groups discussed here.There the group themselves; then aleader presmts is also a potential value for counselorsin receiving the question for discussion feedback about their interactions with, andunder- 2. Having group members bring a treasuredobject standing of, bereaved students. It is common to related to the deceased to the group develop blind spots in interactions withothers or to 3. Having group members write a letter tothe have difficulties with specific kindsof problems that deceased expressing any thoughts orfeelings arise. Meetings between leaders of support groups that were left unexpressed at thetime of death could allow for mutually beneficiallearning experi- 'Fennination of groups was not handled in auni- ences. Where possible,regular consultation by form way across schools. At some schools,partici- group leaders with an outside resource personcould pants went out for dinner or had asmall party; at also be valuable. other schools, the group spent the lastsession

4.0

75 Developing Support Groups for Students

Part of the effectiveness of supportgroups seems Conclusion to be related to how well leaders plan for andcorn- niunicate about the group. It is imperative, then, that Social support has been shown to beone way to bereavement support-group leaders make timeto modify the long-term effect of the death ofa parent. meet between sessions to discuss what is happening School counselors are in a position to be ableto in the group and to prepaie for upcoming sessions. affect the amount and kind of support providedto When using the peer support groupas an interven- bereaved teenagers. The peer supportgroup is tion, it is important to avoid perceiving this group in certainly an interesting way to helpteenagers deal isoiation from the natural support networks already ve'.411 a loss, one that mostgroup participants have available to bereaved teenagers. Group leaders experienced as beneficial. should attempt to strengthen these networks when- Learning to actively cam for those whoare suffer- ever possible. In particular, they may be able to find ing is one of those tasks for which there doesnot ways to promote good relationships between adoles- seem to be an ultimate endpoint or an easy solution. cents and their parents. This must be handled sensi- It is an inherently difficult task,one that is ex- tively, because it is important to respect the student's tremely worthy of continued attention and effort. right to privacy. Several teenagers in this studywon- dered if a separate parents' group might be possible. One person suggested that perhaps the group could References make a presentation to parents toward the end of the sessions. These or other strategies might be usedto Atkinson, T. L. (1980). Teacher intervention with ease communication between the teenagers in the elementary school children in death-related group and their parents regarding the subject of their situations. Death Education, 4,149-162. mutual loss. Balk, D. (1983a). Effects of sibling deathon The effects of loss can run deep, and these effects teenagers. The Journal of School Health, 53, may not always be ameliorated by participation in a 14-.18. support group or by any other formal intervention. Balk, D. (1983b). How teenagerscope with sibling One relevant finding from this study is that bereaved death: Some implications for school counselors. teenagersregardless of whether or not they partici- School Counselor, 31, 150-158. pated in a support groupscored significantly Baxter, G. (1982). Beiravement supportgroups for higher on an objective depression inventory than has secondary school students. School Guidance been reported elsewhere with nonbereaved teen- Worker, 38, 27-29. agers. When counselors mcognize the limitations of Beck, A. T., Sethi, B. B., & Tuthill, R. W. (1963). intervention strategies, tbey may have morecompas- Childhood bereavement and adult depression. sion for themselves when everything does not go the Archives of General Psychiatry, 9, 129-136. way they had hoped for students. Birtchnell, J. (1970). Early parent death and Despite the limitations of the support-group inter- psychiatric diagnosis. Social Psychiatry, 7, vention described above, there is a strongcase to be 202-210. made for its usefulness. Of those interviewed, 64% Brown, G. W., Harris, T., & Copeland, T. (1977). stated that their involvement in a peer supportgroup Depression and loss. British Journal of had made a major, positive difference in their lives. Psychiatry, 112, 1049-1069. Many believed that they were only understood or Dennehy, C. (1966). Childhood bereavement and were only able to really express their grief when psychiatric illness.British Journal of Psychiatry, they met other students who were going through the 112, 104-1069. same Jifficulties. Of the remaining students who did Dietrich, D. R. (1979). Psychopathology and death not report a major positive effect, almost all said that fear: A quasi-experimental investigation of the group participation had been helpful in some way. relationships between psychopathology and death

3 76 The Role of School Counselors With Bereaved Teenagers

fear.Unpublished doctoraldissertation, Stress and anxiety (Vol. 8). New York: Basic Washington University, St. Louis, MO. Books. Elizur, E., & Kalman, M. (1983). Factors influen- Mueller, M. L. (1976). Death education and death cing the severity of childhood bereavement reac- fear reduction. Education,97, 145-148. tions. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 53, Rosenthal, N. R. (1980a). Children grieve too: The 668-676. mental health counselor's role. American Mental Furman, J., & Pratt, J. (1985, January-February). Health Counselors Association Journal, 2,64-70. Coping with the ultimate change, death of a Rosenthal, N. R. (1980b). Adolescent death anxiety: family member: A support group for bereaved The effect of death education. Education, 10, adolescents. Pai..r presented at the Annual 95-101. Meeting of the National Association of Social Vachon, M. L. S., Lyall, W. A. L., Rogers, J., Workers, New Orleans, LA. Freedman-Leftofsky, K., & Freeman, S. J. J. Gottlieb, B. H. (1978). The development and (1980). A controlled study of self-help interven- application of a classification scheme of informal tion for widows. American Journal of Psychiatry, helping behaviors. Canadian Journal of 137, 13F0-1384. Behavioral Science, 10, 105-115. Hilgard, J. R., Newman, M. F., & Fisk, F. (1960). Strength of adult ego following childhood Ross E. Gray is a member of the Psychology bereavement. American Journal of Ortho- Department at the Sunnybrook Medical Center in psychiatry, 30, 788-798. Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Markusen, E., & Fulton, R. (1971). Childhood bereavement and behavior disorders: A critical This article originally appeared in the journal The review. Omega, 2, 107-117. School Counselor and is reprinted here with Morawetz, A. (1982). The impact of the death in permission from the American Association fot war of an older sibling: A group experience. In Counseling and Development. Series in clinical and community psychology:

77 Parents Away Group

An Ongoing Support Group for Children in Grades K-6 with Deployed Parents

Julie Murphy and Vermelle J. Matthews

The Parents Away Group is an ongoing sup- to bring pictures of the deployed parent and of port group at Laurel Bay Schools designed to his/her family; to share postcards, letters, and help children wlvise parents are deployed for presents that the absent parent has sent; to share six weeks or longer to school, on a routine six when they receive phone calls from the deployed months squadron rotation, on Permanent Change of parent; and to share special things that the family is Station orders for one year, or are currently doing in the parent's absence. deployed to the Middle East. The group may be relatively unstructured, with Groups meet by grade level, with at least one the counselor introducing a topic each week to group per grade level, but with no more than ten which the children respond, or the counselor may students per group, so that there may be molt than utilize specific materials. It is suggested that each one group per grade level. Groups meet a minimum session begin with a general share time so that of every other week for 30 minutes per week. letters, postcards, and calls may be shared before During orientation at the beginning of the schGol beginning a topic. Sometimes, however, these share year, the counselor introduces the idea of the group times take up the entire period and that is acceptable to all children and determines whose parent is and even desirable. The counselor may record the currently deployed and permission letters are sent feelings and ideas generated from the "sharing time" home. Although parental permission is not required or from the specific topic on the board or on for the child to attend the group, a permission letter tagboard if he/she sc desires. In addition, at times, is se Q. home to provide 'information. The first ses- the group may not respond to a discussion topic or sion consists of the counselor again outliing the an activity and the counselor may wish to play a purpose of the group and establishing group nAes. game such as "The UNGAME" or "The Caterpillar The first group rule is to maintain confidentiality: Game." One advantage to the use of games is that however, if the child has a deep concern, a private those children who are normally shy or withdrawn meeting with the counselor may be arranged. The in the group will respond to a question which might second rule is that everyone is encouraged to share facilitate another discussion or present a topic for a at each session and the third rule is that only one future discussion or the group might exhibit r^erson may talk at a time. Each child is encouraged behaviors which will elicit further discussion.

79 Developing Support Groups for Students

Topics for discussion and examples of children's Activities which the counselor may use include: responses include: 1. Pages from "While You Are Away..."by 1. Feelings I have since my parent left:(Once Norma Colwell. (This booklet is included in feelings are identified the counselor may then the packet.) use these feelings for furthertopics.) a.In conjunction with the world map page, a.I feel mad because... the counselor might use a world map on the b.I feel worried because... wall or a globe and show each child where c.I feel scared because... his/her parent is and where he/she is. d. I feel sad because... b. The counselor might make a bulletinboard 2. Things that have broken or gone wrongsince of family pictures. my parent left: 2. Take a picture of each child with the group to a. the TV send to their parent. weeks b. the washing machine 3. Draw pictums and write stories several c.the car before a holiday to send to the absent parent. Away," 3.I miss my parent when: 4. Use pages from "Daddy's Days a.it's my birthday. enclosed in the packet, to help celebrate b. it's a holiday. special days. c.I play football or soccer especially if Dad The group for younger children (K-2)utilizes was the coach or Mom wasthe team resources and activities thathave been described in mother. the handout. 4. The routine at home is diffeitnt because: The major objectives for this age group: a. my dad's a terriblecook so we have "yo yo" (you're on your own) nights a lot. 1. To provide activities to help thechild realize b. my mom doesn't cook any more so we that he is a contributing member ofthe family. have "yo yo" nights a lot. 2. To provide activities for sharing and expitss- c. the allotmentcheck hasn't come so we ing feelings. write, don't go to MacDonald's anymore. 3. To provide activities for the child to the d. Mom .,cries, is less padent. draw, design, and make creations to send e.I have more responsibilities. deployed parent. The child may write letters and draw/color pictures of holiday scenes.This f.I fight more with my brothers/sisters. g. Mom may go outwith her friends more and age group also enjoyswriting a poem, riddle, leave me to babysit or leave me with a or joke and coloring ordecorating the page babysitter. with other forms of art and crafts. 5. School can be a problem because: a.I can't concentrate as well. b.I haven't been doing my homework. Resources c.I cut up too much. 6. My behavior is different now that my parentis Booklets gone in that: I fight more with my brothers/sisters. Daddy's days away.Commandant of the Marine a. Marine Corps, b.I get in more trouble at homebecause I Corps, Headquarters U.S. don't listen, clean my room, etc. Washington, DC 20381-0001. Norma Colwell, 9 Quail Run c.I get in more trouble at school. (See#5.) While you are away.... Circle, Hopkins, SC 19061, 1-803-776-9675. These discussions overlap ratherfrequently but the important issue is to have thechildren actively sharing their feelings and experiences.

80 Parents Away Group

Games Vermelle J. Matthews is a community outreach consultant for the Laurel Bay Schools in Laurel Bay, The caterpillar game.ABC Counseling Resources, South Carolina. 112 Brook Valley Road, Greenville, DE 19807, TheUNGAME. The UNGAME Company, P.O. Box The article is reprinted here with permission from 6382, Anaheim, CA 92816, the South Carolina State Depariment of Education.

Julie Murphy is a guidance counselor at Laurel Bay School #2 in Laurel Bay, South Carolina.

81 Responding to Suicide inSchools

A Case Study in Loss Interventionand Group Survivorship

Ellen S. Zinner

General strategies for group survivorship intervention are proposed in I became an outside consultant in this situationat thesug- a case study of an elementary school student's suicide. gestion of a school board member who was aware of my work The rise in suicide rates of young Americansover the lastas a death educator at a nearby university and of my research three decades has been frightening and has prompted(Zinner, 1985, in press). On the day after Jim's death, I spoke recent, widespread efforts to introduce suicide educationat length with the principal. Because of the nature of the tragedy into the semndary school curriculum. Model programs are beingand, no doubt, because of the autonomy of a private school, I designed, implemented, evaluated, and published in increasingwas given much latitude in offering supportive intervention. numbers (American Association of Suicidology, 1977; FairfaxMy focus was on facilitating a mutually supportive group re- County Public Schools, 1985; Joan, 1986). Although these effortssponse to a classmate's death in what was an affect-laden group are ar:tirable, professionals cannot expect to prevent all studentsituation (for other possible interventions, see Hill, 1984). suiciaes. In 1980, 142 youngsters below age 15 took their lives; almost 1,800 between the ages of 15 and 19 did so (NationalNeed for Early Intervention Center for Health Statistics, 1983). Suicide deaths will continueI arrived at Jim's school on Wednesday afternoon. The viewing to occur, bringing shock and pain to all those associated withat the funeral home had been arranged for that evening. The the deceased. funeral was to be on Thursday. I reviewed my intervention plan Interventions for individual and family survivors have beenwith the principal, asking for her comments. A plan should be discussed (Le Shan, 1976; Rando, 1984; Worden, 1982). Lessem-clearly stated, yet should allow flexibility. It should structure phasized are the needs of more formally organized groups (e.g.,the processing of feelings and set the tone and direction of future classmates) after the suicide of a member. School counselors,group action. with their professional training and informed position in the It is helpful to intervene with group suivivors as soonas school, are in a unique position to intervene when a suicidepossible and before the funeral. The early actions of profes- occurs. In this article I offer guidelines for addressing groupsionals or of group leaders themselves can bring the appearance survivorship and raise other related issues for staff considera-of strength and reassurance to a situation that is unanticipated tion. These strategies are examined with specific reference toand overwhelming. Professional intercession can help provide intervention efforts involving the class, student body, teachers,permission for venting a wide range of feeling from the outset principal, and parents at a small, private elementary school whenof the crisis. Definitions and boundaries of appropriate re- a sixth-grade student committed suicide in April 1985. sponses can be created and encouraged; group rituals can be planned, as can responses to the immediate next of kin. It is wise to keep the group's leader informed of strategy and CASE STUDY to enlist his or her help. The point is not just to help the group Jim had beenamember of a nine-student sixth-grade class in amembers cope with the suicide loss but to help the group help small, K-6 private school in the suburbs of a major city. He had itself toward greater cohesiveness and vitality now and in the argued with his best friend and classmate, Bob, on Friday over future. a secret Jim had revealed to a third classmate. Jim deared out his desk on Friday, completed his homework over the weekend,Identifying the Immediate and shot himself in the head using his parents' revolver onSurvivor Group Monday morning, just as his parents were calling him to getI anticipated, and the principal confirmed, that Jim's sixth-grade ready for school. He was flown to a hospital shock-trauma unit.classmates would be more upset over his suicide than would Police immediately came to the school to interview both Jim'sany other school group. Thus, intervention began there. teacher and Bob, whose name had been mentioned in one of Unless the group is small and relatively homogeneous, it can the notes Jim left. Jim's classmates and their parents were allbe expected that some subgroups within the larger organization directly informed of Jim's death by the classroom teacher whenmay be more affected by the suicide than others. Taking care she learned of it. of those identified as most vulnerable reassures the more distant

83 Developing Support Groups for Students

members of the group that appropriate and salutary actions haveto inform them of precisely what they can expect at funeral been forthcoming. ceremonies. encourage all parents to permit their children to attend such Reviewing the Life ceremonies and thereby acknowledge their relationship to the of the Deceased decreased and be a part of culturally prescribed leave-taking As we were sitting on the floor in a circle, I asked the eightrituals. (Even infants have the right to attend the funeral of a classmates and their teacher to tell me about Jim. A life review parent or grandparent so that, when grown, they knowthat of the deceased will often bring smiles and laughter to the groupthey were not left out of this significant event.) Children need when recounting anecdotes. This game of "remember when" not be part of the funeral service itself but can be permitted to lessens tensions and helps the group accept the professional. view the casket or body at other prearranged times with family The class told me that Jim was the brightest student amongmembers. them and that often he had helped others with mathematics and geography work. He liked science and stars and often madeShaping Group Ritual Response jokes that only he and the teacher understood and enjoyed. HeI suggested to the class that they plant a weeping willow tree of his life and of was tall and thin, wore glasses, and wassocially awkward. Theon the school grounds as an enduring symbol class laughed over the time he sat on his peanut butter sandwich their sadness. They rejected both this idea and the teacher's and spoke glowingly of the picture of a cat that Jim had justsuggestion to raise money for the ASPCA in Jim's name. Even- completed for his art teacher; his fondness for all animals wastually, through the give and take of ideas, students decided to noted. My impression was of a close, noncompetitive group inplace a stuffed cat in the casket. Permission for this action was which Jim was an accepted member, even though he was morerequested and received from the parents. intellectual and less open than the others. The class and the teacher purchased a stuffed cat that day Outsiders may feel awkward and embarrassed about beingthat "looked like Jim." Ribbons in the school colors were tied present when an existing group is faced with the sudden andaround its neck. The students and teacher also bought ribbons tragic loss of one of its members. This objectivity, however, for themselves to be ...tsed as annbands. Jim's parents graciously allows professionals to offer direction and hope when members placed the stuffed animal in Jim's arms and assured the children are temporarily confused and paralyzed. that it would be with him at cremation. All but one of the sixth graders attended both the viewing and the funeral, where the Reviewing the Death principal presented a eulogy on behalf of the schoo! The one of the Deceased absent classmate was not allowed by her parents to attend the I had been fully informed about Jim's death by the principal. ceremonies. The children related the details of Jim's death as they knew The reai contribution of loss intervention with groups is in them, speaking frankly of their anger with him. The childrenhelping members create an appropriate and meaningful way to believed, with the teacher's encouragement, that the argumentrespond to the death. Groups want to do something at the time with Bob was not sufficient cause for the suicide. No anger wasof the loss but are often unsure of what. A fitting response shifts directed toward Bob, and Bob felt justified for having yelled atthe immediate focus from the pain felt to the actions taken. Jim on Friday. Little anger was directed toward Jim's parents,Group rituals in response to crisis tend to be long and positively who were well known to the group. Instead, Jim's younger, remembered. mentally retarded sister was blamed. According to the children, Other rituals were created by the class during the next week her needs took much of the time and attention of Jim's parents, or so, and Jim was induded symbolically atgraduation in June. leaving him too much on his own. Follow-up discussions with the class found them to be coping If any child had felt guilty, I would have talked more directlywell and proud of the actions taken. with the group about Jim's responsibility to cope in more pos- Support Survivorship Status itive ways with the argument. Such a discussion was raised by of the Larger Organization the children themselves in my two subsequent meetings withIntervention with the entire school after Jim's suicide was less them. successful than with his class. Responses were made by the It is important that the group share the same story of theleadership, but most members remained unaware of them. A death and that secrets or rumors not be permitted to dividelarge azalea bush was purchased by the school for Jim's parents members. Group discussion allows all members to hear eachand was planted by the sixth-grade class at his home. Most other out and agree on what happened. The veracity of the story other studeetts and teachers did not get the chance to see the is less important to group unity and bereavement than is con- professionals plant or to sign a card with their condolences. Although the art sensus. Group discussion of the death also permits teacher placed on the front outside wall of the school a collage to listen for attribution of guilt or extreme emotional reactions of eight green hearts and one broken red heartrepresenting of particular members. the sixth-grade classit was neither pointed out nor explained Shaping Expectations of to the rest of the school. When I was asked finally to speak with Funeral Ceremonies the rest of the teachers 3 weeks 2 'ter Jim's death, their predom- I learned what I could about Jim's funeral arrangements frominant feeling was one of anger at being excluded. the principal. With more time, I would have visited the funeral Professionals must be careful to acknowledge the survivorship home itself before meeting with the sixth graders so as to havestatus of the larger organization because, by not doing so, they an even clearer picture of the funeral surroundings. Ilearnedignore the lesser but real upset and needs felt by many of its and informed the children that Jim's casket would be open. We members. It was obvious that in this case I had focused on the discussed openly and frankly what thew could expect whensixth-grade class at the expense of the larger group. Unfortu- viewing an embalmed body Atter funeral services, lim'sbodynately, the days of craping doors and windows are past, and would be cremated and interred privately in a family plot. Wethe only universal symbol of group mourning seems to be a discussed openly and frankly the cremation process and theirlowered flag. A large organization that does nothing at all in feelings about this means of body disposal. response to a member's death runs the risk ofbeing thought of Young people today are much less experienced with funeralsas cold and uncaring by individuals both inside and outsideof than were their age mates of the past. Therefore, it is important the orga nization .

84 t Responding to Suicide in Schools

Complete Academic Autopsy REFERENCES with Leadership American Association of Suicidolog. (1977). Suicide prevention training An academic autopsy was recommended to the principal and manual. West Point, PA: Merck Sharp & Dohme, Health Information faculty of Jim's school to be held in the fall term after his death. Services. Fairfax County Public Schools. (1985). The Adolescent Suicide Prevention Anacademic autopsy is a term used by death educators to describe Program. Fairfax, VA: School Board of Fairfax County. the evaluation of the actions taken subsequent toa particular Hill, W.H. (1984). Intervention and postvention ir. schools. in H. Seidak, death or crisis. It might take place at a meeting of significant A. Ford, & N. Rushforth (Eds.), Suicide in the young (pp. 407-415). staff and faculty and, possibly, student leaders. It shouldoccur Littleton, MA: John Wright P.S.G. some months after the loss to allow more objectivity. The key Joan, P. (1986). Preventing teenage suicide: The living alternative handbook. New York: Human Sciences Press. questions are: What could have been done to prevent the death? Le Shan, E. (1976). Learning to say good-bye. New York: Avon. What actions taken after the death seem appropriate andmean- National Center for Health Statistics, Division of Vital Statistics. (1983). ingful in hindsight? What actions might be modifiedor added Nortahty statistics]. Unpublished data. in the future should there be another crisis? Response toany Rando, T.A. (1984). Grief, dying, and death: Clinical interventions for care- particular death needs to be personalized and fitting to the sit- givers. Champaign, IL: Research Press. Worden, J.W. (1982). Grief counseling and grief therapy. New York: Sprin- uation, but it need not be made without insight and sensitivity ger. gieaned from previous events. Zinner, E. (1985). Group survivorship: A model andcase study appli- Individual students gain much insight and understanding when cation, In E. Zinner (Ed.), Coping with death on campus (pp. 51-68). they partake in the group's response to the loss of a friend or San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. co-student. But students graduate, taking their newly acquired Zinner, E. (in press). Survivor-victims of suicide: Understanding and knowledge with them. It is the school faculty and staff who helping the ones remaining. In A. Medvene (Ed.), Storms and rainbows: must be willing and able to facilitate group survivorship re- The many faces of death. Washington, DC: Hemisphere Publishing. sponses. Only they can gain the experience and perspective on Ellen S. Zinner is an instructor in the Department of Sociology, Towson State what helps a group survive and benefit from a member's death. Unkfrsity, Baltimore, Maryland.

This article originally appeared in the Journal of Counseling and Development and is reprinted here with the permission of the American Association for Counseling and Development.

85 "Stressing" Relaxation in the Classroom

Iris Prager-Decker

The Rationale Using questionnaires developed by Coddington, life events relevant to children from preschool to /n recent years we have been made more and high school age have been evaluated to determine more aware of the role stress plays in our life just how much stress (rapid social change) children and its causative relationship to disease. Studies are exposed to. The findings in such research in the urban centers of New York City and Chicago indicate that the higher the scores are for social have estimated that almost one third of the residents change, the higher the incidence of disease. Rahe in those cities are experiencing enough stress to and Arthur, in a comprehensive review on disease impair their ability to function normally. Sociolo- and life changes, cite several cases of extremely gists studying the urban population have attributed young children exhibiting physical effects of stress at least some rise in psychosomatic disease, chronic caused by clusters of life changes in their family. IA illness and neurotic disorders over the last three a disease such as JRA, Heisel was able to show that decades to difficulties in coping with the demands of children susceptible to JRA tended to have recently rapid social change. To ignore this relationship of experienced a cluster of changes in their world, stmss and disease in our society is to ignore reality; higher in amount and intensity than the average and to believe children are immune to this process is child. even more unreal. No one living in industrial, urban- People, whether adult or child, react to stress in a ized communities can avoid stress. All children, in similar manner. Walter Cannon was the first to iden- the course of growing up encounter personal stress- tify the physiological phenomenon of stress, later es, such as accidents, illnesses, new siblings, reloca- researched and refined by Hans Se lye, Under stress tion, parental separation and/or divorce, death of a the muscles are tensed, the heart rate accelerated, loved one, etc. Children also react to life changes blood pressure elevated, respiration increased and that affect society in general; inflation, world con- generally the body is being prepared for what flicts and the energy crunch. Most children at some- Cannon referred to as the "fight or flight" syndrome time react to these stresses with either behavioral (the primitive survival skills necessary for man to disorders such as temper-tantrums, acting out in exist under stressful circumstances). Unfortunately school, and bed wetting, or psychosomatic reactions man no longer has the latitude to stay and fight or from minor disorders such as headaches, or diges- even run away from stress. Modem stressors tend to tive problems to more major disorders such as be more psychological in nature, much of which is asthma and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA). precipitated by anticipation. Research stemming

87 Developing Support Groups for Students

Table 1 Life Change Unit Values Preschool Age Group

Life Change Rank Life Event Units

89 1 Death of a parent 2 Divorce of parents 78 74 3 Marital separation of parents 4 Jail sentence of parent of 1 year or more 67 62 5 Marriage of parent to stepparent 59 6 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of child 59 7 Death of a brother or sister 52 8 Acquiring a visible deformity 51 9 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of parent 10 Birth of a brother or sister 50 47 11 Mother beginning to work 44 12 Increase in number of arguments between parents 42 13 Beginning nursery school 14 Addition of third adult to family (i.e., grandparent, etc.) 39 39 15 Brother or sister leaving home 39 16 Having a visible congenital deformity 39 17 Increase in number of arguments with parents 38 18 Change in child's acceptance by peers 38 19 Death of a close friend 20 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of brother orsister 37 36 21 Change in father's occupation requiring increasedabsence from home 34 22 Jail sentence of parent for 30 days or less 33 23 Discovery of being an adopted child 24 Change to a new nursery school 33 30 25 Death of a grandparent 26 Outstanding personal achievement 23 23 27 Loss of job by a parent 22 28 Decrease in number of arguments with parents 21 29 Decrease in number of arguments between parents 30 Change in parents' financial status 21

Note. From "The Significance of Life Events andEtiologic Factors in the Diseases of Children" by Coddington, D. R., 1972, Journal of PsychosomaticResearch, 16.

ri 4-I 4 88 "Stressing" Relaxation in the Classroom

Table 2 Life Change Unit Values Elementary School Age Group

Life Change Rank Life Event Units

91 1 Death of a patent 2 Divorce of patents 84 3 Marital separation of parents 78 4 Acquiring a visible deformity 69 5 Death of a brother or sister 68 6 Jail sentence of parent for 1 year or more 67 7 Marriage of parent to stepparent 65 8 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of child 62 9 Becoming involved with drugs or alcohol 61 10 Having a visible congenital deformity 60 11 Failure of a grade in school 57 12 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of parent 55 13 Death of a close friend 53 14 Discovery of being an adopted child 52 15 Increase in number of arguments between parents 51 16 Change in child's acceptance by peers 51 17 Birth of a brother or sister 50 18 Increase in number of arguments with pattnts 47 19 Move to a new school district 46 20 Beginning school 46 21 Suspension from school 46 22 Change in father's occupation requiring increased absencefrom home 45 23 Mother beginning to work 44 24 Jail sentence of parent for 30 days or less 44 25 Serious illness requiring hospitalization of brother or sister 41 26 Addition of third adult to family (i.e., grandmother, etc.) 41 27 Outstanding personal achievement 39 28 Loss of job by a parent 38 29 Death of a grandparrnt 38 30 Brother or sister leaving home 36 31 Pregnancy in unwed teenage sister 36 32 Change in parents' financial status 29 33 Beginning another school year 27 34 Drxrease in number of arguments with parents 27 35 Decrease in number of arguments between parents 25 36 Becoming a full fledged member of a church 25

Note. From "The Significance of Life Events and Etiologic Factorsin the Diseases of Children" by Coddington, D. R., 1972, Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 16.

89 Developing Support Groups for Students

from Selye's observations support the concept that training. These goals are: (1) general relaxation for one cannot undergo the physiological arousal of the purpose of cultivated rest and preventive medi- stress and its component element of disease and be cine and (2) selective or differential relaxation in a relaxed state. Actually it was Edmund Jacobson, for the purpose of efficient movement. Dr. Lulu the father of progressive muscle relaxation, who Sweigard combined muscle relaxation techniques suggested that stress, anxiety and its natural by- with guided imagery to enable young children to product, muscle tensing, could not exist when an practice skills necessary for constructive relaxation. individual was in a relaxed condition. In essence, he Some of her imagery included "The Empty Suit of determined that anxiety and relaxation were oppo- Clothes" and "The Rag Doll." She suggested that site physiological mactions and could not coexist. regular exercise of these skills will enable people to When the relationship between stress and disease accomplish work in shorter periods of time, with is understood, it becomes obvious that intervention more ease, and therefore, less stress. in the stiess arousal mechanism is necessary. Inter- By using techniques adapted from yoga (medi- vention can take several forms, while the concept of tation), Jacobson (deep muscle relaxation) and relaxation is inherent in each of them. Since children Sweigard (guided visual imagery), and by recog- spend one third of their lives in school, schools can nizing and relating to the needs and interests of the be an excellent place to teach these skills. It is primary aged child, a unit was developed to help essential that children have time to relax. Daily time children cope with stress. The unit was designed to schedules should allow for part of the day when the be both experiential and cognitive. The basic con- blinds can be pulled, soft music played and pillows cepts include the following: spread on the floor to make the room conducive for total relaxation. The more one looks at the role of 1. Everyone experiences stress. Stress is a part of schools, it seems logical to expect that there-in lies life. the responsibility to develop these coping skills. 2. The body reacts to all stress in a special way Problems of the stressed child take on an added that helps us to get ready for action. importance in the school because it is here that anxi- 3. You air in control of your body. ety shows a most disabling effect. The "distressed" 4. Certain activities reduce stress arousal. child will not achieve as much as is warranted by his 5. There are many ways to control stress. Good abilities. In studies by Sarason, Hill and Zimbardo health habits help us manage stress. and Cowen, et al., low academic success was con- Materials necessary for the implementation of stantly correlated with elevated anxiety levels and such a unit are easily collected. They may include the correlation became greater as the child got older. large pictures or cartoons of people in stressful situations (i.e., Peanuts charactersincluding Lucy's "Doctor is in"). These pictures can elicit Intervention children's responses to the content and aid in the discussion of common stressful situations and how There are many stress coping techniques (relaxation the children cope with them. Also a chart of the skills) that can produce decreased physiologic human body with a wipe off plastic surface could be arousal (decreased anxiety). These self-regulatory used to show how the body goes through changes techniques include yoga, guided imagery, medita- during stress arousal. This allows the children to tion, deep muscle relaxation, etc. Using techniques develop an awareness of inner happenings during that include deep muscle relaxation in combination stress induced tension, as opposed to a relaxed state. with guided imagery, skills can be developed to Methods for units of this type can include lecture teach young children how to relax. Encouraging and discussion sessions (on the concept of stress and results have been noted in stress intervention units. its opposite reactionrelaxation), as well as experi- Experience with relaxation skills shows that most ences designed to teach specific relaxation skills. students can master the skills required and meet the Dramatic play stories that can move the children goals of tension control or stress management through various physical and emotional states can

90 "Stressing" Relaxation in the Classroom make the abstract discussion more real. Here isa hot. You begin to drip. You're melting! Your sample story with follow-up questions and evalua- feet become a puddle of water, andyou start to. tion. It was our intention to have the childrenact this slide downwards. Your back and arms feel loose story out as the teacher read aloud. and runny. Your knees fall into the puddle and Teacher: "You wake up, and it's snowing thick then your bottom. Water is running downyour and fast. You jump out of bed and dress quickly, nose. There go your shoulders! Finally, your putting on your heavy jacket, boots, mittens and head is lying in the water, and then it too melts. scarf to keep you warm. You run outside. You are just a puddle on the ground. Let'sstay Already the snow is deep and comesup to your this way for a while." boot tops. It's a little hard to walk through. It's After the exercise ask the following questions: so quiet here that all you can hear is the squeak "How did the story make you feel? What did of your boots as you step through thesnow. You you feel during the snowball fight? What did walk a little way and meet your friends. you want to do? Did your body feel ready to Together you decide to build asnow fort. The fight hard or to run? Didyour arms and legs snow is so think and deep that it is easy to shape want to move? How did you feel at the end? it into blocks to make the walls. You build the Could you have run very easily whenyou were walls of your fort higher and higher. All ofa a puddle? What did you want to then?" sudden you feel splat! a snowball right in the face. It's cold and wet, and some of it slides Evaluation: Listen to the children'sresponses down your neck. You turn around, and yousee and see if they could distinguish between their some bigger kids from up the street who've physical sensations of relaxation and tension. come to take over your fort. You and your Ask them if they could feel the difference in friends fight them back with snowballs, making their bodies between getting tensed for action them and throwing them as fast and as hardas and then completely relaxedas the melted you can. Snowballs hit you in the chest and snowman? arms, and a few go smoosh against your face, In teaching children to relax they must first but finally you win. The bigger kids runaway. become aware of their tension and where it resides "You pick up a snowball that you made and in their bodies. The most frequent locations reported look at it carefully. It's a good start fora snow- by children aro the eyes, chest, neck, shoulders, and man, so you roll it in the snow to make it bigger legs. To achieve deep muscle relaxation and body and bigger. It becomes so big that you can't lift awareness in children several helpful teaching aids it, and you leave it. You roll another shape, have been developed. These aids are in the format of packing it hard, and set it on top of the first. Be audio cassettes. Children can listen and learn the careful! It's very heavy, and you might fall. You specific techniques in either large groupsor working make eyes and a nose and a mouth for your independently with a leader or partner. A list of such snowman. He looks very cold, so you wrap programs will be included later in this article. Of your scarf around his neck. As you do that, course, the teacher can create his/her own teaching something magical happens, andyou become a aids. Another example of one such aid is the follow- snowman. You stand very still because you ing exercise. Follow this exercise and discover which technique is being taught. don't have any legs to walk with. Yourarms are straight and stiff, and you can't turn your head. Teacher: "Tbday we are going to play a special All you can do is look straight ahead ofyou. It's game. It's a game during which we all have to very cold and windy and you feel yourself be very quiet, or it won't work. In thisgame, getting stiffer and stiffer. Luckily, whenyou your ears are the rnost important help you have, think that you can't get any stiffer, thesun so open them wide and listen. I'm going to comes out, and the wind turns into a gentle make some sounds, and when we are finished breeze. You start to feel warmer, thesun gets listening, you tell me what you heard. Does

91 Developing Support Groups for Students

everybody understand? Ready? Close your eyes Implementation and Evaluation and open your ears and listen." The teacher moves around the room, writing on the board, Implementation and evaluation of this type of unit is clapping hands, snapping fingers, closing a extremely feasible. The school system, as it exists, drawer, clapping erasers, etc. "Open your eyes. reaches most of the population of American What did you hear?" Children describe the children. Wodc by Barabasz indicated that classroom sounds. "Very good. Now we'll play the game teachers with minimal training (several sessions) again, only this time I will be quiet and you have functioned effectively as "paraprofessional discover what sounds you can hear even when therapists" in applying relaxation skills to reduce we aren't making any noise. Ready? Clcse your test anxiety in their students. After limited training, eyes, open your ears, and listen." After a minute using carefully prepared materials, teachers were or two, the teacher asks thechildren to open able to train their students in muscular relaxation their eyes and tell what they heard. "Very, very and use of imagery. Preparation of teachers can be good. Now we are going to do something even done within the existing framework of the in-service harder, and for this we must be very, very, quiet. training program for teachers. In terms of evaluating This time we'll close our eyes and listen to just the success of such a unit, statistical techniques as one sound, maybe even a sound that is inside of well as naturalistic observation can be employed. us. You may be surprised at the sounds your Allan Abrams worked with elementary school chil- body makes because you think it is silent. But it dren in examining the relation between meditation has things it says, too. Let's listen and fmd out. and a variety of measures including affective and Close your eyes, and open your ears, and lis- cognitive instruments, achievement, and teachers' ten." After one minute, ask the children if they and parents' ratings. He concluded that children who could concentrate on one sound. "Did you ever meditated exhibited better self-concept, greater think that you could listen so long to such quiet academic achievement and more cognitive growth. sounds? Are you surprised? Were you able to Teacher ratings can answer these additional ques- control your thoughts so that you could concen- tions: Has class attendance records improved? Has trate on listening? Were you able to control your disruptive behavior in the classroom changed? Has ears so you could listen to a very quiet sound? individual academic achievement improved? Do the Were you able to tell your ears to listen to just children appear healthier and happier? Is there any one sound? Did you boss your ears or did you feedback from the children's homes? But perhaps do what they wanted? How many of you could the best evaluation can only be done on these chil- tell your ears to listen to a very quiet sound or dren 20-40 years in the future. Once skills are to just one sound? So many of you were in learned, practiced, and integrated into their lives it charge!" would be valuable to see how their resistance to stress (via intervention or relaxation during stress Evaluation: Observe the children during the arousal) has affected their overall resistance to listening game to see if they can concentrate. chronic debilitating disease. Listen to their answers to your final questions. The objective of this "game" was for the children to practice listening skills leading to a form of con- Bibliography centrative meditation. Repetition of any technique, or combinations of techniques can be used in a unit Abrams, A. I. (1977). The effects of meditation on of this type. elementary school students. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of California, Berkeley.

92 "Stressing" Relaxation in the Classroom

Barabasz, A. F. (1975, November). Classroom and teacher guide books). Formore information teachers as paraprofessional therapists ingroup write to: The QR Institutt, 119 Forest Drive, systematic desensitization of test anxiety. Wethersfield, cr 06109. Psychiatry, 38(4), 388-392. Coddington, D. R. (1972). The significance of life Kiddie QR is an educational preventative health events and etiologic factors in the diseases of care program for little folk ages 4-9. It isa children. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 16. delightful way for parents, teachers and clinicians Cowen, E. L., Zax, M., Klein, R., Izzo, L. D., & to practically deal with children and stress. Trost, M. (1965, September). The relation of QR for young people. Margaret Holland, Charles anxiety in school children to school record, Suoebel, Liz Stroebel. $47.50 each unit. Formore achievement, and behavioral measures. Child information write to: The QR Institute,---South, Development, 36(3), 685-695. 8509 N. 29th Street, Thmpa, FL 33604. Frederick, A. B. (1979, January). Relaxation: Educaion's founh "R." ERIC Clearinghouseon "To substitute a self enhancing responsethe Teacher Education. Quieting Responsefor self-defeatingresponses Heisel, S. J. (1972). Life changesas etiologic factors such as temper outbursts, drug use, violence, in juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Journal of headaches, and stomachaches." Ages 9 andup. Psychosomatic Research, 16. Foundation for Conscious Living. Jan Lowenstein JP.cobson, E. (1938). Progressive relaxation. Children's Relaxation Tapes. $8.00. Formore Chicago: University of Chicago Press. information write to: The Conscious Living O'Rourke, R. (1976, December). Yes,we can help Foundation, P.O. Box 513, Manhattan, KS 66502. kids relax. Learning. Rahe, R. H., & Arthur, R. J. (1978, March). Life Thpes on body awareness and progressive relaxa- change and illness studies; past history and future tion techniques for children ages 4-12. directions. Journal of Human Stress, 4(1), 3-15. Meditation for children. Deborah Rozman, Sarason, S. B., Hill, K. T., & Zimbardo, P. G. Celestial Arts, Millbrae, CA, 1976. (1964). A longitudinal study of the relation of test anxiety to performance on intelligence and Excellent techniques for involvingyoung children achievement tests. Society for Research in Child through adolescence in meditative skills. Development, 29(7), 1-51. Sweigard, L. (1941). Posture and body mechanics. In The attractive child. Wolfe, S. (1973). Children in stress. Pelican. At the time she wrote this article Iris Prager-Decker was a faculty member in the Department of Health Education at George Mason University in Fairfax, Classroom Teacher's Resources for Virginia. Relaxation Techniques This article is also available in the ERICsystem. The ERIC Document Reproduction Service Number The kiddie QR. Liz Stroebel, Charles Stroebel, is ED 240 085. Margaret Holland. $49.00 each unit (four tapes

93 The PEACE Process

A Modified Senoi Technique for Children's Nightmares

Janece 0. Hudson and Carol O'Connor

"1"1 obby comes crying in the night to his niques of dream discussion and confrontation of parent's bed saying that a monster is after frightening material. By using similar techniques in 1:5him. How do parents in our culture often working with parents and children, both can learn to respond? "It was just a dream. There are no such deal with fears by involving the children themselves things as monsters." Such attempts at logical per- in acknowledging, confronting, and overcoming the suasion are rarely successful. alarming characters and situations in their night- The Senoi, a primitive Malaysian people whose mares. whole culture is based on dreams, would respond differently in a similar situation. Senoi parents might say to the child, "That's very important. Let's talk Nightmares about it." Th :y make no attempts to discredit the nightmare report but instead involve the children Nightmares are defined as bad, frightening, disturb- themselves in dealing with their fears. While the ing, or negative dreams that usually occur during the Senoi are classified as a primitive culture by Rapid Eye Movement (REM) period of sleep and Western standards, psychologically they have been are recalled. This is different from another phe- reported to be a remarkably healthy people (Stewart, nomenon, the night terror, that occurs during the 1969) who emphasize the facing of fearful dream deeper stages of non-REM sleep and may involvean images. organic factor (Fisher, Byrne, Edwards, & Kahn, It is not just children who have nightmares. Many 1970; Sperling, 1952). During the latter, the child adults have awakened in a cold sweat and dis- may have eyes open, scream and flail wildly, and be covered it was only a dieam and then dismissed it. difficult to awaken. When awakened froma night These frightening or distressing phenomenaare terror, which is more appropriately a medical con- signals that provide direct information concerning cern, children rarely recall any sort of dream. real problems. A number of contemporary authors The nightmare discussed here has a story-like (Garfield, 1974; Greenleaf, 1973; Murray & Murray, quality, a symbolic representation of problem areas. 1978; Rothaus & Christian, 1978) agree and have Evidence exists that in children's nightmares, and successfully used some variation of the Senoi tech- indeed in all their dreams, a developmental

95 Developing Support Groups for Students

component is involved both in quantityand subject The PEACE Process matter (Breger, 1974; Despert, 1949;Foster & Anderson, 1936; Foulkes, 1967, 1977, 1978,1979; Based on the Senoi technique, the following Mack, 1965; Van de Castle, 1971). The children in modification represents a successful 5-step process their sleeping states seem to be wrestling with the for involving children in working with their own same developmental tasks they areconcerned with fearful dreams: in the waking states. 1. Presenting While the present concern is with nightmares of a 2. Exploring psychological nature, it should be noted that some 3. Accepting (im- such dreams may be physiological in origin 4. Creative fixing pending illness, fever, or dietary problem) and may 5. Exchanging require attention at a medical level. For work with children, these steps have been labelled the PEACE process. The acronym PEACE, The Senoi easily remembered by children, suggests the reconciliation between the dreamer and the frightening A culture that places emphasis on involving children situation as well as the resulting peaceful state of in working with their nightmares is the Senoi, a mind. The first three steps of this modification native tribe living in an isolated section of the correspond to the Senoi stages outlined previously, equatorial rain forest of the Malay Peninsula. The while the two additional steps are adapted from most remarkable aspect of their culture isthat they Garfield (1974). Step 4, creative fixing, involves the have been able, through the development of a construction of some tangible, concrete evidence of system of psychology, to establish a societythat is the alliance between the dreamer and the former virtually free from violence and aggression. Dream power of the adversary, which wasrepresented by interpretation is a major component of the Senoi the gift. This may be in the form of a painting, psychology. Dreams are viewed as images of the drawing, clay modeling, collage, poem, or song. In external world incorporated into the mind. Thus, the final step, exchanging, the children are encour- dreams are an extension of waking life and can be aged to further acknowledge their mastery by controlled as can waking life (Stewart, 1969). The exchanging stories with others and sharing their process of dream interpretationthat the Senoi gifts. This exchange may be with friends or family employ has been described in three stages: (a) initia- and is especially suited to groups of children in tion and reconstruction; (b) dialogue and confronta- which all may benefit from the experiences of tion; and (c) resolution. others. Initiation and reconstruction involves the report- The following example illustrates the PEACE ing of the dream, while the second stage, dialogue process and incorporates the conceptsof allies, and confrontation, includes a conversation with the unmasking, and other creative and extemporaneous adversary or frightening dream image. For example, improvisations used by the counselor to work with Senoi children being chased by a tiger in a night- the nightmare. Beth's mother reported that the 7- mare would be instructed totalk to the tiger to year-old had been having nightmares. The parents discover what the tiger wanted. A child too fright- were separated and planned todivorce. While a 9- ened to face the tiger alone would be encouraged to year-old brother was verbal in his concern and call on an ally or dream friend to provide the needed objections about the separation, Beth spoke little of protection. The important issue is not to avoid the it and was apparently taking the situation in stride. frightening thing or situation. In resolution, the third stage of the process, the Presenting dreamer seeks an alliance with the adversary or dream spirit. As a symbol of this reconciliation, the Beth was told to close her eyes and relate the dream dreamer requests a dream gift (Stewart, 1969). in first person as she "resaw it in her head," to

96 The PEACE Process: A Modified Senoi Technique for Children's Nightmares

pretend that it was happening in the present. She accepting. The gift is a token of this mastery of the reported that a "mean girl" had come into her house, frightening situation. shot her mother and brother, and set fire to her. The Co: Ask her why she frightened you and hurt you. father came, put out the fire, and placed Beth in his B: car. He was able to revive the brother but the mother (Pause ) She said she didn't mean to, and she's remained dead. He saved them because he loved sorry. them so much. Co: Ask her to give you a gift that you can keep. When you see it, tell me what it is. B: It's a Superman cape! Exploring

Beth was encouraged to confront her adversary and Creative Fixing engage in a dialogue. Co: Counselor, B: Beth.) Together Beth and the counselor decided how the Co: Who was the mean girl? gift was to be portrayed. Beth decided to draw a B: I don't know. I never saw her before. picture of the cape and to make a fabric cape when Co: If you close your eyes can you see her in your she got home. imagination? While the drawing was in progress. Beth talked B: (Close eyes.) Yes. (Opens eyes.) But she scares mom about the nightmare. The baby-sitter was very me. kind to her, but she wished that her mother didn't Co:I think we should talk to her, find out who she work and could stay home. Although he was not is, and why she is being mean. Close your eyes living with them, she knew that her father still loved and talk to her. her and her brother because he saved them. B: (Closes, then opens eyes.) I'm too scared. Co: Here, I'll hold your hand and go with you. I Exchanging won't let her hurt you. B: (Closes, then opens eyes.) I'm still too scared. Beth shared her experience with her mother, giving Co: If you could take anyone you want along to be her an opportunity to express some of her feelings as your friend and protect you, who would you well as her pride in her Superman cape (her new take? mastery). The child's nightmare provided informa- B: I don't know. tion about her concerns and her efforts to deal with Co: Do you have a favorite hero in a book or on them as well as a stimulus for further discussion TV who is strong and brave? While Beth's dream is riddled with symbolism, B: I know! Rocky! including a rather obvious reference to her home Co: Close your eyes again and see Rocky with situation and a seemingly classic dream of the you. Ask the girl who she is. Freudian Electra Complex, it was her fear that was B: Who are you? (Pause.) She won't tell me. the concern. It was presented symbolically, and dealt Co: Ask her again. witn symbolically. When asked if she was still B: (Louder.) Who are you? (Pause.) She still frightened, she replied "Not any more. It made me won't tell me. feel better to talk about it." Co: Tell her to take off her mask. B: (Shouts.) Take off your mask. (Pause. Then smiles.) It's my babysitter! I'm not scared of The PEACE Process and Fears her. The use of the PEACE Process is not limited to Accepting nightmares. It can be equally successful with any fear that children express. It is suggested that the Here Beth was guided in forming an alliance with child recreate aloud the frightening situation through her dream adversary by befriending, integrating, and guided fantasy. The following example illustrates

1 0 97 Developing Support Groups for Students

9-year-old Julie's fear, the work she did with it, and Counselors or teachers may choose to use bcoks the strength of this process. or films to stimulate classdiscussions of nightmares Julie reported being afraid that someone was and fears. This is an effective means for identifying watching her when she was alone in the basement of children who need more personal attention. A list of her house. In order to Present the fear as accurately suggested materials for elementary aged children is as possible, Julie reenacted thesituation by closing included. her eyes and mentally descending the basement It must be emphasized that this process is not stairs. When she indicated that she felt someone's limited to children. Older students and adults find presence, she was encouraged to Explore the area the PEACE process an enjoyable and insightful until she came face to face with her adversary. experience. It has helped many persons identify the Because she appeared reluctant to do this alone, she menacing unknown strangers, the threatening was told that she could call on an ally to protecther. encounters, the tigers of their own nightmares. They Elie appeared visibly more relaxed when she had have turned and faced their own fears of falling, of Ler mother in this fantasy. Together they searched the dark, of failure, and those myriad other sources the basement until they found a man with a knife. of anxiety. The PEACE process not only allows a Instead of fleeing, Julie confronted him by asking, mode for dealing with disturbing material but does Who are you? The man remained silent. Since so in a manner that fosters personalstrength, dream images are not always who or what they creativity, and playfulness. seem, Julie was instructed to demand that the man We would encourage counselors to be flexible and remove his mask. When the man obeyedher imaginative in adapting the PEACE process to command, Julie found herself standing in front of individual needs. We offer this to you as a gift. Enter her father who did not live with the family. Through into your own spirit of creativity as you share it with dialogue she discovered her father there watching others. her, ready to protect her from any harm. Julie was able to Accept this explanation and asked her father for a gift. He responded by giving References her some money. At this point Julie was very excited that she had conquered her fear. She was most Breger, L. (1974). From instinct to identity. receptive to the idea of drawing the gift from her Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall. father in order to Creatively fix the experience in her Despert, J. L. (1949). Dreams in children of mind. When she completed the drawing, Julie burst preschool age. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, from the room to Exchange and share her experience 3(4), 141-180. and new understanding with her mother and sister. Fisher, C., Byrne, J., Edwards, A., & Kahn, E. The picture was hung on her bedroom door to (1970). A psycho-physiological study of night- remind her of this accomplishment. Several months mares. Journal of the AmericanPsychoanalytic have passed and Julie has not reported being Association, 18(4), 747-782. frightened in the basement. Foster, J. C., & Anderson, J. E. (1936). Unpleasant dreams in childhood. Child Development, 7(2), 77-84. Further Suggestions Foulkes, D. (1967). Dreams of the male child: Four case studies. Journal of ChildPsychology and While this technique can be used in schools, it is Psychiatry, 8, 81-97. recommended that parents be involved in the pro- Foulkes, D. (1977). Children's dreams: Age changes cess. It is most important that they understandnight- and sex differences. Waking and Sleeping, 1, mares and fears are very real to children,who will 171-174. not be assuaged by admonitions or logical persua- Foulkes, D. (1978). Dreams of innocence. sion. Psychology Today, 12(7), 78-88. Foulkes, D. (1979). Children's dreams. In B. B.

98 in 1 The PEACE Process: A Motlified Senoi Technique for Children's Nightmares

Wolman (Ed.),Handbook of dreams.New York: Crowe, R. L. (1976).Clyde monster.New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold. Dutton. (Ages 4-6) Garfield, P. L. (1974). Creative dreaming. New Garrison, C. (1978).The dream eater.Scarsdale, York: Ballantine. N.Y.: Bradbury Press. (Ages 6-8) Greenleaf, E. (1973). "Senoi" dream groups. Mayer, M. (1968).There's a nightmare in my closet. Psychotherapy: Theory Research and Practice, New York: Dial Press. 10(3),218-222. Sendak, M. (1963).Where the wild things are.New Mack, J. E. (1965). Nightmares, conflict, and ego York: Harper & Row. (Also available on film development in childhood.International Journal from Weston Woods Studios, Weston, CO 06880) of Psycho-analysi,s,46(4), 403-428. Viorst, J. (1973).My momma says there aren't any Murray, M. E., & Murray, M. L. (1978). Senoi zombies, ghosts, vampires, creatures, demons, dream therapy.Voices,14(1), 36-48. monsters, fiends, goblins, or things.New York: Rothaus, P., & Christian, G. (April 24, 1978). Atheneum. (Ages 4-8) Nightmaies.Woman's Day,pp. 82; 157. Young, H. (1975).Wide-awake Jake.New York: Sperling, M. (1952). Pavor nocturnus.Psycho- Morrow. analytic Study of the Child,7, 79-94. Stewart, K. (1969). Diem theory in Malaya. In C. T. Thrt (Ed.),Altered states of consciousness.New Janece 0. Hudson is a psychology instructor at York: Doubleday. North Harris County College in Houston, Texas. Van de Cagle, R. (1971).The psychology of dreaming.Morristown, NJ: General Learning Carol O'Connor is Assistant Professor of Counselor Press. Education at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan.

This article originally appeared in the journalThe Children's Bibliography School Counselorand is reprinted here with permission from the American Association for Counseling Babbitt, N. (1970).The something.New York: and Development. Farrar, Straus, & Giroux. Bradbury, R. (1955).Switch on the night.New York: Pantheon. (Ages 5-8)

2 99 Teaching Children About Death

Marjorie Brookshire and Melody P. Noland

Marjorie Brookshire and Melody Noland ings in grief (anger, guilt, fear)? Talk about how to present an excellent resource for coun- deal with those feelings. selors and teachers who wish to conduct Concept: Certain activities follow a death. an instructional unit on death. They begin with a Activities: Read The Tenth Good Thing About description of concepts and learning activities for Barney by Judith Viorst (1971). Discuss where Grades 1 through 4, followed by more concepts and Barney was. How could Barney become part of the activities for Grades 5 and 6. They conclude with a ground? list of do's and don'ts and some helpful resource references. 1. Take a dry, dead flower and crush it over a pot of dirt. Let the class see. 2. Tell students that no one knows for sure what Concepts and Activities for Grades 1-4 happens after death. List the different views that people have. 3. Ask the question, "Why do you think we have Concept: Every living thing dies. funerals?" Activities: Ptesent a living flower planted in a pot 4. Have students draw two picturesone of and an identical flower that is dead. Discuss ques- death, one of what might happen after death. tions such as, "Which things in this room are living? Be sensitive to the feelings the children are Which are not living? Do you think each living plant expressing through their pictures, but be will die someday? Will each person die?" cautious about interpretations. Concept: Death is final and this makes it very sad. Concept: People often need help when someone Activities: Read The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise dies. Brown (1958). Discuss how the childron in the book Activities: Have students plan a funeral for a pet. knew the bird was dead and why the children were Where should the pet be buried? How can the sad. Discuss the way characters in cartoons die. Do children make the funeral special? How can the they really die? Also talk about how the children in childron comfort one another? Can a child comfort a the book felt about the bird. (They did not really grown-up? love the bird, because it was not their pet. They eventually forgot the bird, but that is okay.) Concept: Many feelings are experienced in grief. Concepts and Activities for Grades 5-6 Activities: Read Old Dog by Sarah Abbott (1972). Discuss how Ben felt when his dog died. Is it okay Concept: All living things die. to cry? Define grief. What are some possible feel- Activities: Show the filmstrip, "Why did Buffy Have

101 Developing Support Groups for Students

to Die?" (Society for Visual Education, 1978d). dead person) and that it is not necessary to be Point out that all living creatures have a life cycle ashamed of these emotions. and that death is a natural part of life. Identify the Concept: We have ways of coping with death. length of the life cycles of various plants and Activities: Have students list the ways we cope with animals. death. Examples include going to funerals, express- Concept: People die in different ways ing our feelings (such as not being afraid to cry), Activities: Make a list of the ways people die. Name cherishing our memories about the deceased and a person you knew who has died. Tell how or why after a period of grief realizing that we can live a they died and something special you remember good life in spite of the death. Discuss the question, about them. "Why do small children need to share sadness?" Concept: People who are dying react in different Concept: Life is worth living. ways. Activities: Give students information and statistics Activities: Put stages of the grieving process on the about suicide (see Lee, 1978). chalkboard. Point out that people do not necessarily 1. Discuss the question, "Why shouldn't we go through these stages at all and ifthey do, they commit suicide?" (Because it hurts other may not go through them in order. people; you can never be sure things will stay Concept: People feel different emotions when they as bad as you think they are; it is so final. suffer a loss. 2. Discuss alternatives to suicide. Activities: Read Accident by Carol Carrick (1976). 3. Draw a large headstone. Have students record their names, birthdates, and epitaphs. Some of 1. Ask the children to share newspaper clippings the epitaphs can be humorous. The purpose of about death. this assignment is to help students focus on 2. Ask the children to share feelings about a what sort of people they are and how they feel person they knew who died. about themselves. 3. For homework, ask children to read Chapter 10 in Learning to Say Goodbye: When A Concept: We all leave things behind when we die. Parent Dies by Eda LeShan ( 1976). Activities: Read about wills in the "W" encyclo- 4. Show the filmstrip, "My Turn to Mourn" pedia. (Society for Visual Education, 1978c). Talk 1. Discuss the question, "When we are dead, is it about why it is good to express feelings about like we were never here?" death. Also identify the different ways a 2 List the things you leave in the world (exam- person can mourn. ples: memories, books, recipes, children, art 5. Show the filmstrip, "I'll Mi Gram a Lot" work). (Society for Visual Education, 1978b). Identify 3. Write wills. feelings about death. Discuss how to deal 4. Show the filmstrip, "Playing Dead" (Guidance effectively with feelings about one's own Associates, 1973). Emphasize that although death and the death of a loved one. Help the people are gone we still have memories of children understand the need to grieve and the them. purpose of grief. 6. Discuss stages of the dying patient in relation Concept: Knowing about death helps us to appre- to feelings that we have when someone dies. ciate life. Point out the feelings, such as anger, that the Activities: Have children write a paragraph about girl has in the filmstrip. what they would do if today were the last day of 7. Discuss the question, "What emotions besides their lives or what they would do if they had 1 year sadness do people feel when someone dies?" left to live. The purpose of this activity is to let Emphasize that people sometimes feel guilt, children become aware of how important time can fear, anger (sometimes directed toward the be. It also indicates what activities in life are

102 Teaching Children About Death

important to tell. Discuss the question, "What does 1. Do let children express their feelings and death remind us about life?" (Life is pircious. It is opinions. It is is important to let students know that important to make life matter.) expressing their feelings is normal and desirable. Too often we tell others to "Be brave" or "Don't Concept: Them are certain activities that surrounda death. take it so hard" because we are uncomfortable Acdvides: Take the class on a field trip toa funeral seeing children upset. These feelings should not be home. Visit the embalming mom, casket mom, and repressed. chapel. The funeral director may discuss the value 2. Do use simple and direct language in explain- of having a funeral. ing things about death. A very complicatedor detailed explanation may confuse children. Remem- 1. Take the class on a field trip to a localceme- ber that children are at different developmental tery. Have a local minister, priest, or rabbi levels in terms of their ability to understand the meet you there to give a sample of the funeral concept of death. Help children to understand death rites. This activity can be coordinated with by saying, "Mary is dead. She will never come back. history and art lessons by discussing historical It is not like make-believe cartoons or cops and figures buried in the cemetery and by havitg robbers. It is real. Mary is dead. But we still have students do rubbings from headstones. To our memories of her." make rubbings, select ornate headstone 3. Do begin with material that arouses the least designs, place paper over the design, and rub emotion and progress to subjects that arouse the the surface of the paper with crayonsor most emotion. In this way children will be able to colored chalk. The designs will appear on the get used to talking about death and will be less paper. likely to be overwhelmed. 2. Show the filmstrip, "Facing the First 4. Do help children know that theyare not Goodbye" (Society for Visual Education, responsible for the death of a loved one. Often 1978a). Ask students to name some of the children have magical thinking related to death and duties of a funeral director. Talk about what believe that wishing someone was dead or thinking happens in a ftmeral home. Compare modem bad thoughts about someone causes that person to funeral customs to ancient funeral customs. die. Reassure children that this is not the case. 5. Do present material in a nonmoralistic fashion. In relation to the topic of an afterlife, it is best for Guidelines for Death Education the teacher to present the idea that some people believe in an afterlife and some do not. Studentscan Death is a very sensitive topic to include in the be asked to exploit this topic with their parents, and school curriculum. We recommend sendinga note if they go to a church or a synagogue, theycan home to obtain parental consent. Those children explore the topic there. who do not want to participate may be given other 6. Do be sensitive to children who may have assignments and may be excused from class during emotional or negative reactions to the unit. Although the death unit. Our experience has been that most most children will have positive reactions, some children will want to participate. may experience increased anxiety about death, We have provided some concepts and activities nightmares, or insomnia. Occasionally students may that could be used on the elementary school level. be visibly upset in class. These reactions do not Counselors are required to do more than conduct necessarily mean that the student should no longer activities in the classroom. Numerous pitfalls should participate in the unit. Sometimes allowing a child be avoided and various positive actions should be to be upset may be therapeutic. Of course, the taken. It seems simplistic to list do's and don'ts; counselor must use professional judgment in each however, such a list may be helpful in initiating individual case. death education. Because of space limitations, the 7. Do not tell children that sickness is the cause list is limited to a few important suggestions. of death without further explanation. It might be

103 Developing Support Groups for Students

helpful to explain that only a very serious illness Society for Visual Education. (1978d). Why did may cause death and that weall get sick sometimes Buffy have to die? In Death: Facing the loss but we almost always get better. Otherwise,children (filmstrip kit). Chicago: Author. might be afraid of death when confronted with Viorst, J. (1971). The tenth good thing about Barney. minor illnesses. Similarly, it is unwise to explain the New York: Atheneum. cause of death as being old age.Statements such as, "Grandma died because she was old" will become confusing when children see that younger persons Suggested Resources die as well. It might be better to explain tothe children that most people live a long time and that Anthony, S. (1972). The discovery of death in you expect them to live a longtime, too. childhood and after. New York: Basic Books. 8. Do not tell children things that are false.Do Bluebond-Lansner, M. (1977). Meanings of death to not tzll children that a dead person issleeping or has children. In H. Feifel (Ed.), New Meanings of gone on a long trip. Theseexplanations can cause death (pp. 47-66). New York: McGraw-Hill. undue fear of sleeping or trips. And studentswill Dahlsren, T., & Praser-Decker, I. (1979). Aunit on find out that these explanations are not true. death for primary grades. Health Education,10, 9. Do not give children the idea that you haveall 36-39. the answers about death. Let them know thatthere Eddy, J. M., & Alles, W. F. (1983). Death education. are some things that are notunderstood about death. St. Louis: C. V. Mosby. Mills, G. C. (1979). Books to help children understand death. American Journal of Nursing, References 79, 291-295. Nagy, M. (1948). The child's theoriesconcerning Abbott, S. (1972). Old dog. New York: Coward, death. Journal of Genetic Psychology, 73,3-27. McCann and Geoghegen. National Institute of Mental Health. (1979).Talking Brown, M. . (1958). The dead bird (Reading, MA: to children about death(DHEW Publication No. Addison-Wesley. ADM 79-838). Washington DC: U.S. Government Carrick, C. (1976). Accident. New York: Seabury. Printing Office. Guidance Associates. (1973). Playing dead. In Understanding changes in the family (Filmstrip kh). Pleasantville, NY: Author. Lee, E. E. ( 1978). Suicide and youth. Personneland Marjorie Brookshire is a child guidance specialist at Guidance Journal, 57, 200-204. Mary Todd Elementary School in Lexington, LeShan, L. ( 1976). Learning to say goodbye: When Kentucky. a parent dies. New York:Macmillan. Melody P. Noland is an assistant professor in the Society for Visual Education. (1978a). Facing the Department of Health, Physical Educationand first goodbye. In Death: Facing the loss(filmstrip Recreation at the University of Kentucky kit). Chicago: Author. Lexington. Society for Visual Education. (1978b). I'llmiss Gram a lot. In Death: Facing the loss(filmstrip This article originally appeared in thejournal and is kit). Chicago: Author. Elementary School Guidance and Counseling Society for Visual Education. (1978c). My turn to reprinted here with permission from theAmerican mourn. In Death: Facingthe loss (filmstrip kit). Association for Counseling and Development. Chicago: Author.

104 Using Guided Fantasy With Children

Ron F. Anderson

The teacher erases the math problems from the The use of fantasy in developmental guidance board, while the children scatter in various classes has also become more popular in recent directions to form small groups. A new years. Witmer and Myrick (1974) suggested using learning task is about to begin. At one table six fantasy with large groups or classes to increase a children are eagerly and noisily putting on head student's level of emotional involvement. In phones. One child pushes the play button on a guidance classes many students have difficulty cassette tape recorder, and the group begins to quiet identifying with emotionally laden issues discussed down. An air of unuwal relaxation and stillness sets in the group. A group fantasy can provide a relaxed in as heads rest on tables and eyes close. Each child and nonthreatening environment that is conducive to is listening to a taped guided fantasy. In their imagi- increased awareness of feelings related to the topic nations they will run and play in the woods and being discussed. While engaged in a fantasy, a child fields. They will take a. boat ride on a smooth lake is extremely relaxed. Material that previously and relax while enjoying a warm, pleasant day. In evoked anxiety or was submerged becomes less future sessions reading activities will gradually be frightening and more accessible. Rossman and introduced into these pleasant fantasies. Eventually Kahnweiler (1977) used a fantasy approach with the children will imagine themselves successfully intermediate grade students to teach them how to reading before their class and receiving praise from relax and reduce the amount of tension they experi- the teacher. ence during a school day. In his classic book on Fantasy techniques have been applied in a variety imagination games,Put Your Mother on the Ceiling of situations to help young clients work through (1955), DeMille stated that continued use of fantasy emotional problems and blocks (Kelly, 1972). Inves- activities in the classroom helps children gain a tigators in this field have demonstrated that fantasy sense of control over what happens in their lives. methods can facilitate the desensitization process in After twenty years of using guided fantasy with eliminating childhood phobias (Lazarus, 1971), can groups of children, DeMille believes that he can reduce test anxiety (Deffenbucher & Kemper, 1974), teach children how to use fantasy constructively in and can control acting-out behavior (Anderson, their lives and to live more creatively. Castillo 1975), The use of fantasy has also helped children to (1974)usedDeMille'sfantasygames and those she relax in various school situations (Davis, 1969; developed with her first-grade class. While trying to Koeppen, 1974). Therapists and counselors who facilitate the creative and cognitive growth of have used fantasy as a therapeutic tool agree that its students, Castillo discovered that children could be potential to help the healing process is great. taught how to gain control of their emotions and

1 1 m 105 Developing Suppor: Groups for Students their fantasy life and that such control greatly have begun to experiment with the controlled use of enhanced the overall learning process. fantasy and imagery to assist their clients (DeSoille, 1966; Leuner, 1969; Wolpe, 1974). They discovered that in the relaxed state of inwardly focused atten- What is Fantasy? tion, a person is able to bring out material that they need to acknowledge and deal with. This material is Fantasy is at the core of the thinking/learning pro- not stripped of its affect and can be discussed and cess. Images elicit a conditioned response that we reintegrated in the therapeutic environment of coun- have previously learned. As you read the words a seling or therapy. Educators (Brown, 1971; Castillo, winged animal soaring high above the earth, what 1974; DeMille, 1955) have also begun to realize that images comes to your mind? Research indicates that fantasy can enrich the growing/learning process in there are two major systems for coding and storing children. By employing fantasy approaches children material for later retrieval, a verbal-linguistic code can be taught to understand and manage their emo- and an imagery code (Singer, 1975). The verbal- tions. Students respond with more creativity and linguistic coding system is learned during childhood motivation and are more relaxed when fantasy is and is the more efficient system. In education we used as a mode of instruction (Hendricks & Roberts, have concentrated almost solely on learning to use 1977; Wittmer & Myrick, 1974). this system. Although less efficient, the imagery system of coding develops earlier in life and provides a basis for incorporating experiences in more Guidelines for Using Fantasy detail. A well-known example of how the imagery system works is reflected in the task of determining Counselors need to be aware of factors that detract how many windows a person has in his house. Most from or facilitate a successful fantasy experience. people create a image of their house and actually How the counselor introduces the process, structures count the number of windows. From his studies the fantasy, and concludes the experience will often based on brain-probe stimulation of persons with determine if the child or children art able to tap their epilepsy, Penfield (1975) discovered that memories powers of imagery. of events could be recalled in their entirety. This Even before the fantasy is begun there aro several recall included visual images, affects, sounds, and things counselors need to consider. Before using a even touch and taste. Although we use both the guiled fantasy experience designed for d specific verbal-linguistic and imagery process for storing purpose, counselors should "try out" the fantasy on information, the structure of our educational system themselves. This trial run can help the group leader emphasizes the verbal-linguistic process as the develop an appreciation for what the client will go primary agent for retrieving information. The works through and better judge the timing of his or her of both Singer and Penfield indicate that thinking directions. Before the fantasy is undertaken, some through imagery is a natural and available process explanations about the process are recommended. In that may have distinct useful advantages. addition, it is advisable to emphasize strongly that The importance of the imagery system is only the child is always in control, for example: now being explored. Studies on dreams indicate that much of our daily experience is processed and 7bday we are going to use our imaginations to integrated in images during sleep and periods of make pictures of some things in our minds. daydreaming (Foulkes, 1966). The research further These pictures are like movies in your head and indicates that if we are deprived of our dream you can make anything happen in them you like. activity, we suffer psychologically. Singer (1974) You may learn some new things about your concluded that these findings demonstrate a need to feelings or how you behave. daydream, to fantasize, and to use our imaginations. Following the lead of Singer, Foulkes, and To help the child relax, the following exercises are Penfield, practitioners in the helping professions often used (Keat, 1971):

/c 106 k Using Guided Fantasy With Children

Relax and close your eyes (lying down is of:en respond to what you said. If there is anything helpful). Let your body be very loose like a else you would like to do before you come back floppy doll. Take a couple of nice big breaths. to this group, do it or say it now... That's right, in...and out.. As you breathe out, At you will become more relaxed. Let your body the conclusion of this fantasy, thc child= are asked to finish this encounter in any way they might sink down into the floor (chair).... wish. They am also being pmpared for their return to To begin the fantasy, start out with a few simple the group. At this point in the fantasy exercise, the experiments that will help the child understand what leader is attempting to bring the group members is expected: back to mality by introducing mality factors: Let your mind be a big blank screen with Let your mind go blank again. Now picture our nothing on it. Now imagine a lemon. Notice room, here in your mind...what does the room what it looks like...what is the skin of the lemon look like?...who is in the room? When you are like?...what would it be like to touch the skin of ready, open your eyes and look around the the lemon? Now, imagine the lemon is being cut group....(When all ,';'3.s are open ask several in half with a knife...squeeze the lemon and group members to name objects, colors, and watch the juice drip out...can anyone feel his people in the room.) mouth watering? If you can, nod your head. During a follow-up discussion, all children are Now, let your mind become blank again. Picture given a chance to share their experience. Judgment your favorite food...is your mouth watering or interpretation by others is not permitted. Through again? Open your eyes now and tell the group the discussior, the counselor helps the children what you saw in your imagination. disclose feelings experienced in the fantasy and In this introductory exercise, the child is asked to clarify what they may have learned about them- use many senses. As child= become more skilled selves. The discussion is oriented on how the chil- in using their fantasies, they will use all of their dren can use what they learned about themselves in senses more fully. During this introduction, it may their everyday lives. be necessary to mmind some children to keep their eyes closed. If some children feel others am watching them, they often feel inhibited, It is also important from the beginning to use a soft, even voice. Uses of Fantasy With Children Music can help children maintain the relaxed and attentive state necessary for fantasy. The use of fantasy as a technique can fit into transpersonal, developmental, or mmedial programs Once the childmn are acquainted with the process, the fantasy material specifically designed for that for children. Hendricks and Willis (1975) and session can be introduced. During the main part of Hendricks and Roberts (1977) outlined how various techn' ,.-aes, including fantasy activities, can help the fantasy, the leader continues to give direction integrate transpersonal approaches into a school cur- with the same even, soft voice. After each new idea riculum. There activities focus on helping students or symbol is introduced, ample time for reflection is needed. At some point in the fantasy, the children develop in affective, intuitive, and creative areas. Such activities help students become centered by are encouraged to go off on their own and complete tapping feelings of balance and inner strength. Once the fantasy as they like: a child is centered or psychologically balanced, he Now picture yourself doing something you lilce or she can function more effectively. Wittmer and very much...how do you feel as you do this? Myrick (1974) discussed how fantasy activities can Picture someone else there with you as you are be used to facilitate classroom guidance sessions doing this...what do you feel about them being designed to promote understanding and communi- there with you? there is something you want cation of feelings as well as self-appraisal and self- to say to them gn ahead and say it...let them awareness. The use of guided fantasy with

1 '9 107 Developing Support Groups for Students developmental guidance classes can increase found a big puiple spot in his head and took a wet students' emotional involvement, unlock creative sponge and washed it off. solutions to problem siniations, and give all students an opportunity to internalize andpersonalize the Uncovering Emotional Blocks topic under consideration. In individual ot group counseling sessions, fantasy can be used to facilitate During a fantasy experience, children ate encour- the release of blocked emotions, the learning of new aged to relax and let their thoughts and feelings behavior, or the development of client insights. As surface naturally. Often children have access to counselors establish comprehensive guidance material that they are unaware of. An example programs that include transpersonal,developmental, follows of how fantasy helped a second-grade boy and remedial elements, it seems that fantasy reconstruct an event and identify particularfeelings activities can become a significant contribution in and concerns. This exercise demonstrates the useof helping achieve program goals. fantasy to increase the field of awareness. Following are descriptions of several fantasy tech- The counselor asked the boy to go over his morn- niques and how they can be used with children. ing in fantasy. He was instructed to imagine himself getting out of bed and doing everything he had done that morning. While describing his fantasy in the Centering With Music and Imagery first person, he recteated his morning in hisimagi- Before conducting a reading lesson in small groups, nation. At one point his voice became tense, and he a teacher can have studentssit back in their chairs looked frightened. In response to a question about and focus on their breathing. During this session, what he was afraid of, he related his fear of walking soft and flowing music is played. All of the children past a corner where some boys had oncebullied are instructed to let their thoughtsbecome pictures him. The counselor used the fantasy activity tohelp that flow in and out of their minds with the music. the child become await of feelings that were inter- They are asked to become detached observers of this fering with his normal functioning. Once the feel- process. After 5 to 10 minutes, thereading sessions ings were brought to the surface, they could be dealt begin. Teachers report that after just a few telaxation with. Child= are often unawate of the feelings and sessions, childten am often more alert, attentive, and self-perceptions that affect their behavior. Through able to concentrate longer. fantasy, this material can be uncovered and discussed. Self-Awareness: The Body 'hip Inhibition of Fears A classroom guidance activitya fantasy journey into the bodyis designed to help students under- Many school counselors nave successfully used stand how feelings are often expressed intheir desensitization and emotive imagery procedures to bodies. The counselor asks all students to imagine help reduce the fears and anxieties of their students. themselves slowly shrinking to the size of a pea. The Emotive imagery uses a fantasy technique in whikt students are then asked to enter their bodies through students imagine noxious stimuli while they are their mouths. What follows is an exploration of each totally relaxed and in proximity to something pleas- part of the body and how feelings areoften ex- ing (Lazarus, 1978). pressed there (e.g., butterflies in the stomach, ten- With a first-grade girl, emotive imagery was sion in the shoulders). After completing this activity successfully used to help her overcome a phobia that with one group, one boy announced that he had a resulted in her vomiting frequently in theclassroom. slight headache. The counselor asked the child to In discussions with the counselor, the girl revealed close his eyes, become small again, and go backinto that her favorite television character was Wonder his body, and locate the source of his pain. After a Woman. Each session began with a series of muscle- minute, the boy came back and stated with a smile relaxation exercises similar to those described by that his headache was gone. He disclosed that he Koeppen (1974). By tensing and relaxing various

108 Using Guided Fantasy With Children

muscle groups, she learned how to achiev ^,. a relaxed 7. A student is called a stupid pig. state very quickly. A hierarchy of school-related, 8. A student is told to stay after school. anxiety-producing situations was then mutually 9. A friend is beaten up on the playground. developed. After relaxing her body, she would 10. A student's mother is called ugly. imagine herself playing on the school playground (first step on the hierarchy) as Wonder Woman. She The counselor tape-recorded a series of stories in proceeded up the hierarchy of fantasy situations which another student talked about how hesuccess- until she perceived some tension. She signaled the fully handled his anger in these situations. After counselor when she began feeling tense by lifting listening to the tape, group members were instructed her hand. At that point the counselor had her repeat to imagine themselves in these same problem situa- the muscle-relaxation exercises and ended the ses- tions. They were encouraged to conclude the prob- sion with a pleasant fantasy. After several sessions lem as best they could and discuss their solutions the child was able to imagine herself working in a with the group. Group members were able to learn classroom without feeling tense or anxious. The how to inhibit aggressive rosponses to anger and try imagined feeling of being relaxed while working in out these self-control reactions in the safe environ- the classroom carried over into the real school, as ment of their imaginations. Such experiences led to evidenced by the decrease and final disappearance feelings of success and confidencetwo key ele- of vomiting. ments in incorporating these behaviors into daily activities. Other uses of fantasy techniques include raising Learning New Behaviors self-concepts through fantasized success experi- An important part of the counseling process with ences, finding resolution of self-doubt through a children is the learning of new, more appropriate wise man or identification fantasy, and expanding behaviors. A new behavior that is not part of a alternatives through open-ended fantasies. Coun- child's previous experience can seem risky. The risk selors who use fantasy techniques report these is often expressed through balking and reluctanceor techniques can easily be adopted and integrated into by resistance. By structuring a guided fantasy counseling or guidance activities. experience the counselor can provide a low-threat environment in which the child can try out a -iew behavior. The fantasy can be designed to maximize Cautions and Suggestions the chance for a successful completion of the behavior by adding built-in reinforcers to the experience. There are some situations where use of fantasy may For one group of fifth graders, a series of guided be inappropriate. Children with serious emotional fantasies to be acted out was developed to sup- problems who tend to retreat from reality would not plement their learning how to handle the:r anger benefit and can be harmed by such fantasy exer- (Anderson, 1975). A hierarchy of 10 anger- cises. Counselors need to screen students before producing situations was developed. The situations they begin out-of-fantasy activities. Although fan- ranged from a mild anger-producing situation to an tasy approaches are becoming increasingly popular extremely provoking one: with helping professionals, many others are still unsure about these activities. Because of negative 1. A student receives a lunch he doesn't like. connections held by some that are inappropriately 2. A student isn't allowed to go the library as associated with the term fantasy, some counselors promised. call their activities creativity activities or imagina- 3. A student is kidded by a classmate about tion games. It may also prove helpful to make sure working slowly. that parents, teachers, and children understand the 4. A student is pushed accidentally while process the counselor is using. The importance of an standing in line. individual's control in the situation should be 5. A student's desk is pushed from behind. emphasized. If questioned about the similarity 6. A ball is knocked out of his aims. between fantasy and hypnosis, counselors need to

1 109 Developing Support Groups for Students emphasize that fantasy is not hypnosis butrather Keat, D. B. (1977). Self-relaxation forchildren simple, focused attention and imagination.Clearing (tape). Harrisburg, PA: Professional Associates. up misconceptions andhelping others understand Kelly, G. (1972). Guided fantasy as a counseling the nature and function of fantasy can allay many technique with youth. Journal of Counseling fears. Psychology, 19, 355-361. The potential use of fantasy and imagery tothe Koeppen, A. (1974). Relaxation trainingfor school counselor seems extensive. Researchers are children. Elementary School Guidance and indicating that the use of fantasy in counselingand Counseling,9, 14-23. related activities is indeed a powerful process.Fan- Lazarus, A. (1971). Behavior therapy andbeyond. tasy has proved successful incounseling situations New York: McGraw-Hill. in elementary schools. Fantasy can reducefears, Lazarus, A. (1978). In the mind's eye: The powerof lower tension and test anxiety, inhibitacting-out imagery for personal enrichment. NewYork: behavior, bypass emotional blocks, helpchildren Random Housc. find alternative behaviors, and improveself-concept. Leuner, H. (1969). Guided affective imagery(GAI): As an adjunct to classroom and groupguidance, A method of intensive psychotherapy. American fantasy has been used to increase self-awareness, Journal of Psychotherapy, 23, 4-22. elicit self-disclosure, and stimulate creativity. Penfield, W. (1975). The mystery of the mind:A critical study of consciousness and the human brain. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. References Rossman, H., & Kahnweiler, J. (1977).Relaxation training with intermediate grade students. Anderson, R. (1975). Using a fantasy-modeling Elementary School Guidance and Counseling, 11, treatment with acting-outfifth grade boys. 259-266. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of Singer, J. (1974). Imagery and daydream methodsin Florida, Gainesville. psychotherapy and behavior modification. New Brown, G. (1971). Human teaching forhuman York: Academic Press. learning: An introduction to confluent education. Singer, J. (1975). The inner world of daydreaming. New York: Viking. New York: Harper & Row. Castillo, G. (1974). Left-handed teaching. New Wittmer, J., & Myrick, R. (1974).Facilitative York: Praeger. teaching: Theory and practice. Pacific Palisades. Davis, D. (1969). Sense relaxation with children. CA: Goodyear. Elementary School Guidance and Counseling, 3, Wolpe, J. (1974). The practice of behaviortherapy. 304. New York: Pergamon. Deffenbucher, J., & Kemper, C. (1974).Counseling test-anxious sixth graders. ElementarySchool Guidance and Counseling, 9, 30-34. Ron F. Anderson is an elementaryguidance DeMille, R. (1955). Put your moth?r on the ceiling. consultant at the North Carolina Departmentof New York: Viking. Public Instruction in Raleigh. DeSoille, R. (1966). The directed daydream. New York: Psychosynthesis Research Foundation. The article originally appeared inthe journal Foulkes, D. (1966). The psychology of sleep. New Elementary School Guidance and Counselingand is American York: Charles Scribner's Sons. reprinted here with the permission of the Hendricks, G., & Roberts, T. (1977). The second Association for Guidance and Counseling. centering book. Englewood Cliffs, NJ:Prentice- Hall. Hendricks, G., & Willis, R. (1975). The centering book. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

112 110 Rechanneling Anxieties

Gerard Giordano

Snakes. Razors. Spiders. Darkness. Being don't answer truthfully. And because the inventory alone. Stray dogs. Flying. Large crowds. itself may be viewed with anxiety, theresponses can Strangers. Speaking before a group. How be biased. many of these topics evoke anxiety from an indi- Diagnostic inventories designed for clinicaluse vidual? If all of them do, that person is notneces- would be inappropriate for classroom application. sarily abnormal. If nene of them does, that person Teachers would require training in the adminis- may well be abnormal. tration and interpretation of the inventories. And Psychologically healthy persons are neither domi- persons other than the teachers might misunderstand nated by fear nor oblivious to it. What characterizes the rationale for administering a clinical inventory in healthy personalities is the ability to recognize and a classroom. Instead, instructors can investigate the regulate anxiety. Like pain, fear is unpleasant. But, sources of anxiety in the context of classroom activi- like pain, it has the equilibrating function of keeping ties. The following five activities are compatible persons alert to danger. It is the inability to cope with virtually any curriculum or set of instructional with anxiety rather than anxiety itself that is delete- procedures. All of the activities have the potential to rious. reveal attitudes and thoughts of children. Addi- Speaking, reading, writing, or listening to infor- tionally, the activities provide a noncoercive format mation about topics that evoke anxiety can helpone for restructuring attitudes and thoughts whenreor- recognize or reduce that anxiety. When the topic ofa ganization is appropriate. learning activity focuses upon a source of anxiety, the topic can increase attention, retention, understanding, and the motivation to communicate. Under Thematic Units these circumstances, anxiety has a salutary effect by providing an intrinsic rationale to solve scholastic Thematic units are collections of books, films,or problems. And the act of communicating abouta magazine articles that relate to a common topic. source of anxiety may by itself reduce that fear. When working with students in the early elementary To discover what children fear, an anxiety inven- grades, a thematic unit on fear of the dark or separa- tory can be administered. Many such inventories are tion from family members would be appropriate. available. For example, the ten items listed in the Teachers do not have the time or expertise to pre- first paragraph of this article could be used as an scribe books that correspond to the poignant prob- anxiety inventory. One could arrange the topics in a lems that individual students are experiencing. list and ask participants to designate each topic by Nonetheless, there are predictable problems in an adjective describing a stage of fear. The draw- response to which children at different ages experi- back of self-report inventories is that some students ence anxiety. An instructional unit that employs

113 .1' 111 Developing Support Groups for Students

materials centering on one of these predictableprob- Classroom Visitors lems will be viewed with interest by the studentsfor the same reason that a unit on sex andprocreation is Classroom guests offer an opportunity to restructure viewed by adolescents in biology classes as more the thoughts of students. A personwith a pet snake interesting than a lecture on cell division. Reading, can discuss reptile lure. Apolice officer can dimin- writing, speaking, and listening skills cancertainly ish fears through an explanation of the procedures be taught with thematically organizedmaterials. for reuniting lost children with theirfamilies. Den- There would also probably be anopportunity to tists, doctors, nurses, or morticians havesimilar teach creative, artistic skills. And such unitscould opportunities to reduce fears. A sky diver, mountain introduce or reinforce concepts that werecoinciden- climber, scuba diver, or animal trainer can address tally related to a science or humanities curriculum. the special attraction of a hobby that atfirst might seem dismaying.

Research Reports Pictorial Displays Research reports can be based on a topicthat students select from a list assembled by theinstructor. On a bulletin board, pictures thatcorrespond to Figure 1 is a list intended for instructors.However, topics such as those in Figure I can bedisplayed. If this list can be modified by identifyingthose topics children exhibit interest, that picture can bedis- that are relevant to a specific subject in thecurricu- cussed. Or the teacher can build uponthe student lum. Children can investigate topics inwhich they interest with a complementary, thematicunit of are interested by consultingtextbooks, materials books and films. collected by the instructor, or library resources. When children share their reports with eachother, they may be impressed by their classmates'different Written Dialogue responses to the identified topic.Alternatively, they may be struck by the reportsof peers on topics that Dialogue notebooks are part of anactivity in which intrigued them but which they avoided becauseof students regularly contribute to ajournal. The the anxiety those topics evoked. writing is not corrected with respect topenmanship, spelling, or grammatical form, whichteachers may correct in other writingassignments. Students write Figure 1 about any topic that they choose. Theteacher Topics that Are Likely to Evoke Anxiety provides responses on a regularschedule. The unrestricted writing of students canreveal the impact of a classroom guest, a thematicunit of Wounds Crowds books, or a bulletin board. Or thewriting can reveal Being left alone Death opportunities for topical units of whichthe instruc- Falling Dentists tor would otherwise be unaware.A dialogue Lightning Heights notebook is part of an activity which,like all of the Snakes Monsters preceding activities, requires neitherelaborate Airplanes Injections materials nor special training. Insects Deep water Fire Sickness Animals Elevators Advantages Rodents Enclosed areas Darkness Sharp objects All of the preceding activities couldbe integrated Strangers Bats into typical classroom operations.The activities Cemeteries present opportunities forobserving students and for

112 114 Rechanneling Anxieties developing rapport with them. The activities provide a format against which to present instruction on basic communication skills. Additionally, the Gerard Giordano is a professor in the Department activities are an opportunity to motivate students by of Curriculum and Instruction in the College of impressing them with the functional relevance of Education at New Mexico State University in Las classroom learning to the problems they are experi- Cruces. encing. This article originally appeared in the journal Academic Therapy and is reprinted by permission.

115 to 4, s. 4,I 113 Do More Than TieaYellow Ribbon...

American Association for Counseling andDevelopment

We at AACD welcome the opportunity to ...Empower children by giving them things they make this publication available toevery- can do to work for peace...write letters/draw one dedicated to helping the men and posters. women in the "Gulf War" and their families during ...Hold a geography lesson withmaps and a this time of national crisis. As counselors and globe. Young children do not always understand the human development professionals we recognizeour difference between something that is happening half duty and responsibility to encourage moral,emo- a world away and an activity happening half a block tional, and psychological calm in the minds and away. lives of society, and to provide sources of comfort, ...Empower older children by encouraging study encouragement, and hope. and discussion about current events and the history leading up to these events. Lead discussionsabout cultural diversity and conflict resolution. Do More Than Tie A Yellow Ribbon...... Avoid political debates thatmay divide or upset children or leave them with mixed emotions... Counselors and human development professionals especially in groups of children that includesome give tips on helping friends, neighbors, children,and who have loved ones involved in the militarycon- parents through a period of military conflict. flict, and others who do not. ...Be calm...Children may be upset by emotional Helping children... outbursts and they will often cope in thesame manner as you do. ...Let children talk, talk, talk about their feelings...... Limit time spent watching TVnews pro- help young children draw pictures anduse play to grams...it's frightening to have the war inyour own express their feelings of fear, loneliness, sadness, or home. anger. ...At school: Be on the lookout for changes in ...Be honest. Let children know you havecon- academic performance and classroom behaviors; cerns too. Acknowledge the seriousness of the alert specialized pupil services personnel (i.e. school situation. Use discussion openers suchas, "I know counselors, school social workers, school psycholo- you are worried, let's talk," rather than, "Don't gists) of any changes. worry." This helps children feel you understand and ...At home: Be on the lookout for changes in you're not ignoring their fears. appetite, behavior, or sleep patterns; alert specialized

116 115 Developing Support Groups for Students human services personnel (i.e. familycounselor, involved in the military conflict...remember, and pediatrician) of any changes. he/she will have feelings of isolation visit ...Maintain regular routines whereverpossible at helplessnessa supportive note, phone call, or home and at school...familiarroutines provide a will go a long way. ...Families with a loved one who is away can use sense of security. babysitting to ...Be sure to express hope. Assurechildren that all kinds of volunteer servicesfrom friend or the United States has survivedother wars and that bookkeeping to legal services. If you are a situation wild have a positive extended family member, offer to be an extradriver we have faith that this store, or per- resolution as well. in a pinch, or do a run to the grocery form an oil change on the family car. ...If you are a veteran, or the familymember of Helping adults... a veteran who wasInvolved in a prior military If you ate an adult with a loved one who isinvolved conflict...be aware that current events may cause reactions that are asso- in the military conflict...seek outcounseling support you to experience trauma You may groups where you can talkfreely with other advits ciated with unresolved past experiences. disturbances, or about your own fears, and where you candisplay suffer flashbacks, anxiety, sleep other upsetting emotions. If this occursseek emotion freely. ...Engage in physical exercise to relieve stress... professional help. ...If you yourself are directlyinvolved in the walk, run, swim, bicycle. point in ...Seek out professional help. Along withshoul- military conflict...be aware that at any reactions: sleep dering a host of new responsibilities you mayfind time, you may develop trauma stress relation- yourself experiencing a wide range ofpsychological disturbances, problematic interpersonal vulnerability, and physical symptoms: sleeplessness, lackof con- ships, feelings of anxiety and/or that your centration, mood swings, etc. Talk to aprofessional mistrust of self and/or others...understand abnormal life counselor, your physician, a member ofthe clergy, reaction is a normal human reaction to is not a mental illness or any other trainedhealth care professional with events. Trauma stress reaction disorder, it is the violence of war that whom you feel comfortable. or personality ...Moderate time spent in front of thetelevision is abnormal...seek professionalhelp in dealing with set both for yourself andfamily members. Constant your reactions. Don't expect television can heighten anxietyunnecessarily and Prepare yourself for going home. be resumed keep you away from important exerciseand family that normal family routines will immediately. You and your family have allbeen activities. time and ...Keep a journal. Express your feelingsin writing through a stressful eventgive yourselves and, at the same time, keep a recordof family be patient with yourself and eachother. Seek out activities you can share with your loved one upon professional family counseling to help youthrough his/her return. the transition. ...Reach out to your neighbors,friends, colleagues, extended family members forhelp Where to write for counseling services or whether it be for emotional support, ormundane referrals... cooking a tasks such as shopping, cleaning house, or Counselors meal. This is not time to "go it aLine."Friends and National Board for Certified Certified extended family members may be wanting tohelp in (NBCC). To obtain a list of National include a self- any way possible, but they may notknow what you Counselors in your area, write (and addressed, stamped #10 envelope) to:NBCC, 5999 need or how to ask. ...Remember to keep joy and laughterin your Stevenson Avenue, Alexandria, VA22304. Mental life...play is essential to both children and adults. National Academy of Certified Clinical obtain a list ...If you are a neighbor, parent, friend, orwork Health Counselors (NACCMHC). To colleague of an adult with a loved onewho is of Certified Clinical Mental Hea,thCounselors in

117 116 Do More Than Tie a Yellow Ribbon...

your area, write (and include a self-addressed, Development. MCD gratefully acknowledges the stamped 010 envelope) to: NACCMHC, 5999 many counseling and human development profes- Stevenson Avenue, Alexandria, VA 22304 sionals who contributed to this publication, most American Association of State Counseling notably Norma Colwell, MA, NCC; John Boards. To obtain a roster of state boards that McFadden, Ph.D., NCC; David Niles, Ed.D., regulate the practice of professional counselors, CCMHC; and Janet Wiley, Ed. Spec. write (and include a self-addressed, stamped #10 Reprinted with pennission from: envelope) to: Mississippi State University, P.O. American Association for Counseling and Drawer GE, 208 Montgomery, Mississippi State Development University, MS 39762. International Association of Counseling 5999 Stevenson Avenue Services (IACS). To obtain a list of accredited Alexandria, VA 22304 centers, and agencies in your area, write (and This publication is available in minimum bulk include a self-addressed, stamped #10 envelope) to: quantities of 100. A nominal fee of $20 per hundred IACS, 101 South Whiting Street, Suite 211, is required to cover printing cost. Call toll free Alexandria, VA 22304. 1-800-347-6647 or write order services at AACD.

This brochure was created as a service to the public by the American Association for Counseling and

118 117 Essential Elements ofaTeacher In-Service ProgramonChild Bereavement

Bruce Cunningham and Jan Hare

As many school counselors can testify, it is grief in a healthy manner and may inadvertently distressing and painful for young children complicate the grieving process through such behav- to experience the death of a sibling, parent, iors as omissions, refusals to answer questions, or, more frequently, a grandparent. The loss of other diverting techniques, and negative nonverbal much-loved figures such as family, friends, pets, or messages. This lack of help may lead the child to a a classmate may also cause a child to grieve. diminished capacity to understand what has hap- Symptoms of bereavement are not left at home and pened and a corresponding increase in grieving are well documented by educators in the classroom symptoms. (Evans, 1982; Fredlund, 1977; Rosenthal & Experimental efforts (Hare & Cunningham, 1988; Terkelson, 1978; Ryerson, 1977). Typically, children Molnar-Stickels, 1985) suggested that withsome ages 3 to 9 years experience a disruption of habit training in child betravement, teachers can become patterns and they may also experience depression, more effective in assisting the child with the psychosomatic disorders, adjustment disorders, and grieving process. Furthermore, school counselors conduct disorders (Nagera, 1970; Rando, 1984; seem to be likely candidates to provide this training Raphael, 1983). because of their expertise in helping children with The bereaved child faces a threefold task of personal socioemotional concerns. The remainder of (a) coming to terms with death, (b) grieving, and this article builds on previous training efforts and (c) resuming the appropriate progression toward describes the essential elements of a bereavement development of personality (Furman, 1984). School in-service program for teachers. Particular attention counselors and teachers who are sensitive and is paid to the existing knowledge and misconcep- skilled can help children accomplish these tasks. tions teachers of young children possess regarding Unfortunately, many teachers feel neither comfort- child bereavement. The important issues of increas- able nor adequately trained to offer support to ing teachers' comfort in communicating about death bereaved children (Brennan, 1983; Mosley, 1976; and supplementing a knowledge base with exercises Pratt, Hare, & Wright, 1987). Consequently, designed to build skills in helping children cope teachers are not able to help young children resolve with grief are also discussed.

119 119 Developing Support Groups for Students

In-Service Format influence on their conceptual awareness . 4. lbachers are unclear about their role in helping The minimum amount of time for this in-service a grieving child. Many expressedthe belief program is 4 hours. The program hasbeen con- that it was necessary to respond in some way ducted as a single 4-hour session (Hare & that would be helpful to an individual grieving Cunningham, 1988) and can be offered during a pre- child or a classroom of bereaved children, but school conference day or other in-service day. The they were concerned about possible dis- content of the in-service program can alsobe approval by the parents. adapted to four 1-hour afterschool sessions because 5. Teachers have limited awareness of currently each of the following sections takes approximately 1 available resources that would enable them to hour: (a) awareness of children's bereavement incorporate information on death and grief in behaviors, (b) awareness of children's perceptions of the classroom. Teachers greatly appreciated death, (c) awareness of personal attitudes toward being informed of curricular and community death, and (d) exercises in dealing with bereaved resources that deal with these topics. children's concerns. The fifth sectiun of the in- service program, which consists of a list of resources, can be distributed to the participants. Elements of a Child Bereavement In- Optimal group size for the exercises and discussions Service Program is approximately 25 participants. Awareness of Children's Bereavement Teachers' Knowledge and Concerns Behaviors Regarding Child Bereavement Because teachers seem to have concerns and misconceptions about children's grieving behaviors, An effective child bereavement in-service program school counselors should address this as the first must first take into account the existingknowledge element in a bereavement training program. Teach- and immediate concerns of the teachers. Results of ers need to understand the typical rangeand likely a pilot bereavement training program(Hare & duration of symptoms in bereaved children. It is Cunningham, 1988) suggest the following general essential for teachers to understand that grief is very impressions regarding teachers' knowledge of much an individual matter and that each childwill childhood grief and bereavement: experience a grieving process that is "normal" for 1. Teachers recognize that children experience him or her. Teachers should also be made aware of feelings of loss, but they are unaware of the the factors that influence bereavement in each child. range of behaviors that children maymanifest These factors may include the degree of attachment in response to the death of a significant person the child had to the deceased, the suddenness of the in their lives. Teachers are concerned about death, the child's previous experiences with death, recognizing the behaviors in bereaved children the amount of assistance in grieving the child has that may ndicate that professional help is received at home, and, finally, the individual warranted. differences among children. While keeping this 2. Teat-hers have misconceptions about the perspective in mind, teachers also need to know the expected duration of children's grief. Several type, intensity, and duration of behaviorsthat expressed the belief that children "should be indicate that professional help is warranted. over it within a few weeks," when thegrieving Teachers seem most curious about children's process may, in fact, be much longer. responses to bereavement, and nearlyall will be able 3. Teachers understand that age influences to cite examples of these behaviorsby bereaved children's understanding about death, but children that they have had in their classrooms. teachers are less aware that children's previous Beginning the in-service program with this infor- experiences with death can also have a major mation in a discussion format will allow those

120 nt) Essential Elements of a Teacher In-Service Program on Child Bereavement

teachers who are less familiar with children's attitudes toward death. Although young children grieving behaviors to become more knowledgeable. may be distressed by death because it is a new The school counselor can guide this discussion to experience, familiarity seldom makes it less distress- increase the teachers' awareness of children's ing for adults. In a death-denying culture such as the bereavement behaviors. United States, many adults have not sorted out their personal understanding of death. This is an impor- Awareness of Children's Perceptions of tant consideration because a teacher's attitudes Death toward death will affect the communication between teacher and child. A second element of a bereavement training pro- School counselors must also examine their own gram should involve the school counselor educating thoughts, feelings, and attitudes ioward death before teachers about children's developmental knowledge assisting teachers with this same task. Methods for of death. Familiarity with young children's pre- achieving this goal should include attending a operational (2 to 6 years of age) and concrete opera- workshop on bereavement, grieving, or death educational (6 to 12 years of age) conceptualizations as tion; reading current books such as Gordon and based on the work of Childers and Wimmer (1971), Klass (1979), Grollman (1967, 1976), Hare and Furman (1984), Nagy (1948), and Wass and Corr Courier (1987), and Kubler-Ross (1983), and special (1984) is essential for assisting young children in editions of journals (Carroll, 1977); and discussing grieving. According to this Piagetian perspective, personal attitudes toward death and dying with other young children think in qualitatively different ways professionals. than adults. Rather than reasoning deductively or School counselors can devise many exercises to inductively, young children tend to reason intui- help teachers clarify their own attitudes toward tively, moving from particular to seemingly unre- death (Nelson, 1977). The Leming Death Fear Scale lated particular. For example, the frequently used (1979-1980; Leming & Dickenson, 1985) has also explanation that death is "just like going to sleep" been used for this purpose (Hare & Cunningham, may make sense to an adult, yet may be interpreted 1988; Hare & Skinner, 1988). This 26-item ques- literally by young children. Consequently, this well- tionnaire asks individuals to give their first opinions intentioned explanation may lead to subsequent or impressions to statements about their own death. bedtime fears (Hare & Skinner, 1988). Responses are recorded on a Likert-type rating Most teachers have some familiarity with the scale. These statements are grouped into eight areas characteristics of preoperational and concrete opera- of (a) fear of dependency on others while dying, tional thinking. A didactic presentation that applies (b) fear of pain, (c) fear of indignity, (d) fear of these modes of thinking to the concept of death can isolation/separation/loneliness, (e) fear of afterlife, increasz teachers' awareness of how young children (f) fear of the finality of death, (6) fear of leaving conceptualize death. Teachers are often willing to loved ones, and (h) fear of the fate of the body. Sub- share and discuss personal experiences that illu- sequent discussion can focus on the areas that pro- minate young children's understanding of death. voked the most and least fear, on reasons why some This approach of lecture and discussion has pro- areas produced more concern than others, and on duced significant gains in knowledge of grief with ways in which religious beliefs affected death fears. teachers of young children (Hare & Cunningham, 1988). Exercises in Dealing with Bereaved Children's Concerns Awareness of Personal Attitudes Toward Death A fourth element of a bereavement in-service program involves exercises, such as role playing, A third element of a bereavement program should that give teachers practice in dealing with common involve experiences that help teachers achieve some situations they will encounter with bereaved chil- understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, and dren. This element is essential to an in-service

121 Developing Support Groups for Students

program because quasi-experimentalstudies of the child is really asking, or asking a question to clarify effects of bereavement programs found that the child's concerns; (b) keeping in mind the knowledge about bereavement alone may not be developmental undeestanding the child has enough to induce teachers to assist bereaved regarding death; (c) responding in a timely fashion children (Hare & Cunningham, 1988). A particularly rather than delaying or diverting the question or useful exercise is one in which teachers generate comment; (d) giving an honest responsethat will responses to children's commonquestions and com- increase the child's understanding about death ments regarding death such as thosecompiled below without increasing fears or fantasies; and (e) (Hare & Skinner, 1988). providing emotional support to the child. This process is demonstrated in thefollowing two Expressions of Feeling examples. "Why does God want to take my Mom?" Example 1: "It's not fair. I need her to be with me." Child: "I hate God." "My heart is broken." Teacher: "When we lose someone we love, we "I hate God." usually feel angry. Are you feeling angry with "Sometimes I just feel so sad " God because your mother died in that "Them's just something missing all the time. I just accident?" feel like something is missing." Child: "Yes, I am " "Why do I cry when I think of him?" Teacher: "It's OK to be angry. If you let your- "Does Daddy miss him?" self feel angry, then after some time the anger "It makes me sad to think about his dying the way will go away." he did." Child: "But maybe I'll be punished for being "Do we miss him?" angry with God." Teacher: "I think God is big enough to handle Concern for the Body and Life After Death your anger. God will probablyunderstand your anger that you have lost yourmother." "Where is she now?" "What happens to her in the grave? Does she keep Example 2: her glasses?" "Where does Grandpa go when he's buried?" Child: "Where is he now?" "Is dying the end forever?" Teacher: "His body is at the funeral home, but "Where is he now! Will we see him again?" the rest of your grandfather--the part ofhim that you love, the grandfather that took you fishing and made you laugh and find your Concern About Cause of Death bicycle is in your memory. As long as you "Why did she die?" remember him, he will still be with you." "What did they do in the ambulance?" Child: "Will we see him again?" "Does everyone die who goes to the hospital?" Teacher: "Do you believe you will see him "Does cancer grow in you or do you catch it like a again'?" cold?" Child: "Yes, when I die I'll see him in heaven." "Will I ever get cancer?" Teacher: "Yes, many people believe they will see all the people they lovedwhen they go to Teachers can work together in small groups of two heaven. When a person dies, we usually think a to four teachers to respond to these comments,and lot about him. It's important to keep those with the can then share and discuss their responses special memories." whole group. A general format for responding to young children's questions aboutdeath includes five School counselors can also use the small-group steps: (a) reflecting, a Rogerian technique,what the format for other exercises such as preparing aclass

122 122 Essential Elements of a Teacher In-Service Programon Child Bereavement

for the return of a bereaved child, writing a letter to feedback at the conclusion of the in-service program parents of a class with bereaved children, discussing and several months later, after which teacher may death with nonbereaved children, and generating have had the oppuitunity to use the information. teaching strategies about death education for young children (Nelson, 1977). Summary Awareness of Curricular and Community Resources In summary, studies (Brennan, 1983; Mosley, 1976; Pratt, Hare, & Wright, 1987) suggested that most A final element in a bereavement in-service program teachers of young children have little or no training involves providing teachers with a list of curricular in assisting children in coping with bereavement. and community resources. Teachers have a limited Results of quasiexperimental studies (Hare & awareness of these types of resources and indicate Cunningham, 1988; Hare & SKinner, 1988; Molnar- a desire to know more about the topics of child Stickels, 1985) indicated that brief in-service bereavement, grieving, and death education (Hare & programs or workshops can be an efficient and Cunningham, 1988). effective way to increase teachers' knowledge and An excellent source of resources for incorporating skill in assisting young children with the tasks of death education into the curriculum is Wass, Corr, coming to terms with death. After examining their Pachulski, and Forfar (1985). This annotated bibli- own attitudes toward death, school counselors can ography contains an extensive list of age-appropriate conduct in-service programs for teachers that children's literature, films, videotapes, and other include (a) lwareness of children's bereavement resources. Special editions of journals, such as behaviors, (b) awareness of children's perceptions of Carroll (1977) can also be of use to teachers. death, (c) awareness of personal attitudes toward School counselors should make teachers aware of death, (d) exercises in dealing with bereaved community resources and services, which may be children's concerns, and (e) awareness of curricular helpful to bereaved families. These resources should and community resources. Gathering feedback from include the names of counselors and psychologists the teachers can help the school counselor evaluate in the community who are trained in children's loss the effectiveness of the in-service program. issues. In addition, such a list would include names of local hospices and grief support groups for children and adults. School counselors can compile References such a list by contacting hospices, hospitals, and community mental health organizations in their own Brennan, A. (1983). Children a.:d death. (Report communities. No. PS01437M. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 246 995) Carroll, M. (Ed.). (1977). Special issue on death. Evaluating the In-Service Program School Counselor, 24. Childers, P., & Wimmer, M. (1971). The concept of School counselors can collect feedback from the death in early childhood. Child Development, 42, teachers to evaluate the effectiveness of the in- 705-712. service program. At the minimum, this feedback Evans, B. (1982). The death of a classmate: A should cover the format, and each of the five teacher's experience dealing with tragedy in the elements of the in-service program. An open-ended classroom. Journal of School Health, 52,104-107. response form asking teachers to indicate what they Fredlund, D. (1977). Children and death: The school found most helpful about each section and what setting viewpoint. Journal of School Health, 47, improvements could be made in each scetion is 533-537. recommended. The overall effectiveness of the in- Furman, E. (1984). Childras patterns in mourning service program can be assessed by requesting this the death of a loved one. In H. Wass & C. Corr

123 123 Developing Support Groups for Students

(Eds.), Childhood and death (pp.185-202). Nagy, M. (1948). The child's theoriesconcerning 73, 3-27. Washington, DC: Hemisphere. death. Journal of Genetic Psychology, Gordon, A., & Klass, D. (1979). They need toknow: Nelson, R. (1977). Counselors, teachers,and death How to teach children about death.Englewood education. School Counselor, 24, 322-329. (1987). Death and Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall. Pratl, C., Hare, J., & Wright, C. educators Grollman, E. (1967). Explaining death tochildren. dying in early childhood education: Are Boston: Beacon Press. pepared? Education, 107, 279-286. Grollman, E. (197 6). Talking about death:A Rando, T. (1984). Grief, dying anddeath: Clinical dialogue between parent and child.Boston: interventions for caregivers. Champaign,IL: Beacon Press. Research Press Company. Hare, J., & Courier, B. (1987). Young childrenand Raphael, B. (1983). The anatomy ofbereavement. death: A handbook for parents andteachers. New York: Basic Books. Death Menomonie, WI: University of Wisconsin-Stout. Rosenthal, N., & Terkelson, C. (1978). Education Hare, J., & Cunningham, B. (1988). Effectsof child education and counseling. Counselor bereavement training program for teachers. Death and Supervision, 18, 109-114. counseling Studies, 12, 345-353. Ryerson, M. (1977). Death education and Guidance and Hare J., & Skinner, D. (1988). A childbereavement for children. Elementary School training program for parents. EarlyChialhood Counseling, 11, 165-174. development and care, 36, 31-48. Wass, H., & Corr, C. (Eds.) (1984).Childhood and Kubler-Ross, E. (1983). On children anddeath. death. Washington, DC: Hemisphere. Forfar, C. New York: Macmillan. Wass, H., Corr, C., Pacholski, R., & Leming, R., & Dickenson, G. (1985).Under- (Eds.). (1985). Death education: Anannotated standing dying, death and bereavement.New resource guide. Washington,DC: Hemisphere. York: Rinehart & Winston. Molnar-Stickels, L. (1985). Effect of a briefinstruc- tional unit in death education on the deathatti- Bruce Cunningham and Jan Hare areboth assistant tudes of prospective elementary schoolteachers. professors in the Department of HumanDevelop- Journal of School Health, 55, 234-235. ment, Family Living andCommunity Educational Mosley, P. (1976). Developing curriculumfor death Services at The University of Wisconsin inStout. education: How do children learn about death? (Report No. S000917 8). (ERIC Document This article originally appeared in thejournal Reproduction Service No. ED 123 292) Elemental), School Guidance and Counseling andis American Nagera, H. (1970). Children's reactions tothe death reprinted here with the permission of the of important objects. Psychoanalytic Studyof the Association for Counseling and Development. Child, 25, 360-400.

124 124 Responding to Children's Fears About War

Jenni Zimmer

Normal and Common Fears 4. Be camful not to raige new concerns

fear of separation ("Are you going to leave keep adult concerns to yourselves me?") maintain objectivity in classroom discussions keep from stirring loyalty conflicts (between fear of abandonment ("Who will take care of me?") views of teachers and parents) fear of physical injury ("Will I get hurt?" "Am I safe?") 5. Answer questions without elaborating too much fear of death ("Will I die?" "Will you die?") 6. Be scrupulously honestbut try to be positive fear of being drafted fear of global destruction 7. Old traumas may be reawakenedbe sensitive to vulnerable individuals 8. Be gen to signs of anxiety Issues That Apply to All Ages changes in behavior (such as: difficulties sleeping, dinginess, acting out behaviors, 1.Open the discussion bullying, withdrawal, regression to younger let young people know that war is "fair behaviors, emotional volatility) game" as a topic seek professional help, if extmme be available and accessible ask open-ended questions be non-judgmental Calming Fears gear questions to lower functioning students in group Key ingredients: reassurance, information, and action 2. Listen and observe 1. Reassurance attend to nonverbal behaviors gain an idea of their level of understanding normalize the child's feelings let them know they are not alone and that 3. Let children set the diiection and pace they am safe

125 125 Developing Support Groups for Students

let them know you (adults) will take care of behaviors, correct misinformation, address them emotions through displacement activities (books, drawings, puppets), emphasize nor- 2. Informationgear to the child's age and levelof malizing of feelings. understanding d. Upper elementary child a. Preschool child Qualities: More verbal, able to think more Qualities: Awareness of war may be minimal abstractly, may be increasingly awkward but fantasies may be wild, world revolves talking about emotions especially in mixed around fantasy and make-believe play, reality groups, peer group influences become strong, and fantasy are blurred, burgeoning imagi- bravado important to boys especially, inter- nation brings out far-fetched ideas, illogical ested in much more information and will seek conclusions common, often believe in magi- out on own. cal powers of thoughts and feelings, highly Responses: Provide opportunities for research self-centered. by individuals and by groups, clarify misin- Responses: Provide reassurance that thoughts formation, be alert to rumors and drama pro- and feelings cannot cause events to occur or moted by peer group, give reassurance even if harm to come to anyone, continually clarify students seem mature and not in need of it, what is real and what is not, reassure that normalize feelings, use peer group as a source dreams are not real, provide simple but of support. repeated reassurance about personal safety e. Middle and high schoolstudent and parent's protection. Treating these two groups as one is a simpli- b. Early elementary child fication. Qualities and responses will vary Qualities: Self-centered, not able to verbalize significantly with age. a wide range of feelings easily,interested in Qualities: Student can engage in reflective the here and now, cannot relate easily to thinking and philosophize, hormonal drives things distant in time and space, tendency to (aggressive, erotic) at a peak, striving for overgeneralize. Concerns center around their emotional independence, tilt toward peer safety and their family's. group and away from adults, intensesocial Responses: Keep information on a highly anxiety, search for self-identity, distrust of concrete level, personalize it when possible adult, emerging value systems, self is seen as (relate to actual experiences) for greater invulnerable. meaning, give specific, simple reassurance, Responses: Focus on both concrete fact and clarify make-believe and reality. abstract philosophy, provide constructive out- lets for flooded affect and anxiety, encourage c. Middle elementary child parents and staff to be available for regres- Qualities : Cognitive development takes a sions, use peer group as an open forum for surge from purely concrete to moreabstract discussion, contain contagion/hysteria, be thinking, able to identify feelings although prepared to respond to excessive "bravado," beginning to inhibit the open expression of heightened risk-taking behaviors, utilize war them, fear of ridicule and fear of physical as an exercise in values clarification. injury are common, can relate to things distant in time and space. Common concerns: 3. Actionhelps to alleviate fears and gives a Am I a "sissy" for being afraid? Am I feeling of control and hope normal? Suggestions: Provide opportunities for discus- Responses: Provide information at a more in- sion. Be attentive to your child (put aside all depth level, allow regression to younger other work for 10 minutes of undivided

1.26 126 Responding to Children's Fears About War

attention), play a favorite game and encourage charge and feel a sense of control; include your talk while, you play, try displacement activities child in family decision making at every oppor- (one step removed), such as reading a book and tunity. talking about the feelings and thoughts of the characters in it; maintain household routines, especially bedtime routines (predictability is important: prepare in advance for changes); Jenni Zimmer is a school psychologist with the Ann restrict TV viewing (watch with your child, if Arbor, Michigan Public Schools and the mother of you do watch); look for hobbies and household three sons. This information is reprinted with her projects your child can do where they are in permission.

127 127 MODULE 3

DEVELOPINGAND OFFERING STUDENTSELF-HELPSUPPORT GROUPS

groups," fivereasons are advanced here fortheir growing popularity andapparent effectiveness. 1.Erosion of traditionalsources of support such as family, close neighborhoodties and the church have made itnecessary for people to look elsewhere for support. Even wherethe traditionalsources of support are present and functioning,they still may be inadequate foryoung people in a time of crisis, Frequently, the adultsources of support may themselves have beenso involved in the crisis,e.g.. earthquake or Desert Storm,that they are unable physically to be helpful,or they have beenso affected by the calamitythey are unable torespond adequately with thenecessary and appropriateemo- tional help. 2. An emphasison the mutual andself-help features rather thana dependence upon theexpen- siveand often difficultto obtain professional clinicians. The self-help andmutual aid orientationof the supportgroup minimizes the stigma associated with seeking professionalpsychological help and minimizes delays brought Introduction about by seeking the needed funding andprofessional help. Theusual support group operateson a shoestring and by the Recent crises and catastrophiessuch as Desert very nature of its functioning Storm, the Carolina appears to be more tornadoes and calami- like a rap group than ties resulting from airplane group therapy. This encourages and bus acci- participation byeven those who are resistant dents have affirmed thepower and utility of self- to help support stating publicly that theyneed help. groups. Variously called mutual and 3. Theclear image self-help (MASH),or just "self-help support of being action oriented.A frequent Liiticism of disasterrelief efforts is that it

BEST COPY AVAILABLE 12S 129 Developing SupportGroups for Students

and leads tospecific help andassis- functioning. When all members takes so long to getthem up and in the group. is almost tance beinggiven to individuals responding to acrisis doingsomething members.In contrast to group Action is antidote! 3.Run by the always better thandoing nothing. groups,self-help groups are and provide counseling or therapy Support groups canbe formed quickly members withconsensual leadership they are receiving run by the The "rap like" members with areal sense that rather than by aprofessional leader. situation, it is par- and members support andhelp. In a school atmosphere makesparticipation easy that students notbe allowed to give and receive ticularly important typically reportbeing able to both elaborate structures areformed. "free float" while information andsuggestions in the group. feature Support groups cando it! Voluntary andnonprofit.An important focus on the imme- 4. 4.Self-help support groups is that membershipis voluntary that persons who of self-help groups diate crisis.The evidence suggests feels free to comeand go as they respond most and everyone financial costs. areexperiencing aparticular crisis please and there areonly minimal formed to confrontthat crisis groups are favorably to groups Because they arenon-profit, self-help existing sourcesof help and materials at mini- rather than relying upon usually able toobtain space and well these servicesare delivered. support however specific crisis mal cost. The groupformed to confront a acknowledges for peoplethe importanceand gravity Self- of what theyhave experienced. Benefits to StudentParticipation in who have experi- 5. Bringingtogether people Groups members Help Support enced the samecrisis.Support group membership report a strongpreference for group question for anyschool to answerthat is experiences. A critical limited to people whohave had similar whether to introducesupport groups school or even trying to decide Obviously students notin the same body is: "Whatbenefits accrue to who died in an for their student the same gradelevel as a student and the school?"The very support group both the students accident would notbe. included in a existence of self-helpgroups, andthe increasing well as formed in itsponse tothat crisis. number of paiticipantsinvolved in them as covered by them,speaks an expandinglist of topics those most impactedby themthe Support Groups to their worth to MajorCharacteristics of student paiticipants. regarding Though clearcutempirical evidence 100,000 active self- is sparse, a By one estimatethere are over self-help groupparticipant outcomes functioning in theU.S. that reach2.5 to evidence exists help groups considerable bodyof "testimonial" Despite the considerablevariation rth of the groupsto the student 5 million people. between the regarding the vo. in purpose andfunction that exists cited beneficialoutcomes characterized participant. Frequently groups, almostall self-help groups are include the following: features: by these major function best 1.Peer focused.Self-help groups who share com- 1. Sense ofBelonging when they arecomposed of students experiencing similarcrises monproblems and are expressed benefitis the very real noteable characteris- A frequently gain. They and stresses. Oneof the more feeling of belongingthe participants is that participantscan share about them tics of self-help groups become a memberof a group that cares bind the groupstogether how severe the commonexperiences which and what they haveto say. No matter members. of belonging and facilitatecommunication between crisis they haveexperienced, the sense mutual aid.The self-help support 2. Targetedtowards providing they gain frommembership in a experiences and theexpression of per- and sharing of group offersthem theconfidence, ability and needs enablesthe group to sonal feelings impacts upon maturation to move on. provide a supportiveatmosphere that

130 Module 3: Developing and Offering Student Self-Help Support Groups

2. Problem Solving 5. New Found Helper Skills A common topic of discussion in the group is how An important and inadequately acknowledged to resolve this or that problem. Ideas and proposed outcome of support group participatioa is the actions and solutions are presented by different acquisition of greater skill and confidence by the students and critiqued by the group members. participant in the use of "helper therapy" in respond- 'Typically, the group works for consensus rather than ing to other members of the group. These helper a majority vote on any actions it takes. Of particular "skills" are in mality double-edged benefitsthey use to each student is the opportunity to present their lead the helper to be more confident in assisting "story" on what has happened to them and how they others in the group and they also increase the are coping. Other members of the group react to the helper's sense of personal worth because they presenter's perception of her/his problem and review experience directly the appreciation of others for the with the presenter the problem-solving approach help they have extended to other members of the they are using. Through this approach, each group group. member is assisted in dealing with his/her problem as well as gaining increased problem-solving skills. 6. The Development of Change Agent Skills

3. Values Clarification Support members who are grappling with their immediate personal problems find it is an easy The group provides an excellent opportunity for transition to larger school and community problems. each participant to consider the values they want to The question they may confront is what they can do live by. For the first time in their lives many group individually or as a member of a change advocate members go through a process of examining the group to help the school/community be more pro- values that have been implicit in their behavior. This active towards problems and crises by planning for examination may lead them to make conscious them in advance of their occurrence. This preplan- choices about how they want to live. ning is not only frequently rewarding to the partici- pantsand personally empowering!but helpful to 4. Communication Skill Development the school/community in developing the resources which will render future crises less severe in their Support gmup participation can be most helpful to impact on students, school staff, and adults in the students in developing communication skillsboth community. Having coped successfully with past those with a high personal reference content, e.g., challenges can lead support group participants to "The war has really gotten to me; I can't think about feel sufficiently empowered to use their new-found anything else" to more generic, problem-focused change agent skills to tackle other school/com- content, e.g., "By making participation available by munity problems. grade level we can avoid the problems." It is typically an excellent supportive climate for assisting 7. Acquiring Investigative Skills young and old to develop greater skill in general communication as well as highly specific self- Thmugh the suggestion of a group adult advisor or a disclosure. Communication within a group is thera- knowledgeable group member an early focus of the peutic because it provides the communicator with a group might be on researching the problem or topic. means to gain a measure of relief by giving expres- What have others done in a similar crisis, e.g., "The sion to worries and anxieties. It also helps the com- last time people experienced an earthquake, what municator to gain confidence in his or her ability to steps helped them to deal with the after effects?" express personal feelings in front of a group.

30 131 Developing Support Groups for Students

Students who have previously used ERIC to do of swdent self-help support groups offers much to a research for class papers can use their search skills school. They have much to gain and little to lose by to find relevant resources in ERIC whichwill help introducing them. How well they are designed and them avoid re-inventing the wheel or making how skillfully they are introduced will, however, unnecessary mistakes. play an important part in determining how successful they become. Six judiciously selected resources am included in 8. Increased Feelings of Self-Esteem the module to provide specific help to individuals Participation in the support group has been observed and schools in developing student self-help support to not only help persons cope with immediatefears groups. They offer good examplesand approaches and crises but to develop an enhanced self-esteem for installing different kinds of support groups. Not based on the personal insights and new skills which all of the resources were developed especially for they have acquired as a result of group participation. students but they are included here because they Confidence grows as they experience greater capaci- provide useful ideas and illustrations of effectively ty to cope with previous fears and anxietiesthat functioning programs which can be tailored to meet often appeared overwhelming. Also, this new ability the needs of individual schools. to cope with the problems that motivated them to The materials in this section should be utilized in join the group in the first place leads to a general conjunction with personal inquiries to the list of sense of "I can do it" and hence, tograppling with resource centers in Module 6. Byfist reviewing the problems they may have previously ignored or materials presented in this module a useril1 be avoided. better prepared to address specific queqlons and requests to the resource centers whoseactivities ate closest to their areas of interest. The Usefulness of Student Self-Help Support Groups

A review of the resources to follow will likely convince the user, as it has the writers, that the use

3 1 132 Youth Engaged in Self-Help

A Guide for Starting Youth Self-Help Groups

Mary Kay Parkinson and Nancy Sax

Preface of their discussion was the need for, but lack of, youth groups for bereavement. They reached the About five years ago at a meeting of a self- conclusion that adults were so emotionally over- help group for Retinitis Pigmentosa whelmed at the time of their loss, that no attention (a debilitating eye condition), I was was being given to how youth were coping with approached by a 12-year-old boy and his parents. their loss. As a result of this discussion, one of the The boy had the condition and was becoming groups did indeed start a group for youth who have visually impaired. He was being excluded from suffered the loss of a parent. Since then, local many activities of youth organizations to which he schools, churches, and community agencies have belonged and he very much wanted to know if them also helped to develop groups, not only for bereave- was any self-help group or network that he could ment, but for a wide variety of other problems. join. Unfortunately, at that time, there wasn't. There are other needs that youth self-help groups Fortunately, since then, one organized by the R. P. can address, and work in developing and main- Foundation has been started. taining these types of groups is still in its infancy. Over the last several years we have seen an Through this first manual, we hope to provide you increase in mutual aid self-help groups for youth. with some general ideas and guidelines, as well as a Similar to the way in which Alanon and Gammon few models. started Alateen and Gamateen, other national self- We are grateful to the pioneering groups who have help groups, like Parents Anonymous and Emotions shared with us their experience and materials. Nancy Anonymous, have started youth group counterparts Sax and Mary Kay Parkinson, both full-time VISTA with members of the adult groups often helping to volunteers at the Self-Help Clearinghouse, spent develop and facilitate the youth groups. many hours pulling together this material and Local one-of-a-kind self-help organizations have interviewing those who are working with the groups. also started groups for youth. At one conference We wish to thank VISTA and ACTION for making several years ago, for example, we arranged for their placement and work at the Clearinghouse representatives of several different adult bereave- possible. We are especially grateful to the Pew ment groups to speak at one panel. It was the first Memorial Trust for their generous grant which has dme that they had ever come together and discussed made this manual possible. Finally, we express their mutual needs and activities, and a major topic appreciation to Esther Foster, Anne Mahoney, Ken

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Maton, and Barbara White for their hard workin what can be gained from a self-help group, the assisting with the development of the manual. particulars of setting one up and how to maintain ownership. Adults may be more interested in their Edward J. Madara role, different formats and planning for future Clearinghouse Director meetings. Professionals, on the other hand, may find the overall picture most interesting, and want to read of various youth groups and basic helping skills. An Introduction to the Youth Manual For all, it is most important to use the information in this manual; the need for youth groups is great, as In the fast-moving, mobile society of the late are the possible benefits to be gainedby the mem- Twentieth Century, more and more people of all bers. So go ahead! ages have turned to self-help groupsfor the support they need in facing life's problems. Life can befull of trials, but some of us face problems that change I. Self-Help Groups for Youth: our lives, whether chronicdisease, divorce, drug What They Are addictions, the death of a loved one or any others. Mutual aid self-help occurs when people with a People with problems often feel alone and overcome given problem or life situation meet together to as a rushed society continues onits way. This share support and advice, and most importantly to phenomenon can cause distressing events to take on let each other know that they are not alone infacing mammoth proportions. The self-help group can be the difficulty. Mutual aid self-help has been prac- understood not only as an attempt to deal with this ticed since families first existed, because as social but also as a general response to increased alienation beings we all need to be accepted, cared for and in our world. Moreover, the self-help movement emotionally supported, and consequently we turn to may represent a growing societaldesire for more each other for help. personal control in managing our own physical and Young people can have problems as disturbing to mental health, a role often ascribed solely to them as those affecting adults. They often feel even "experts." This model is particularly relevant to more trapped and isolated since they aremuch more youth as they struggle with issues of independence vulnerable to peer pressure and the fear of "sticking and control. It offers the opportunity for self- out." Lack of experience in dealing with problems empowerment within a supportive environmentof can further hamper theirproblem-solving efforts, peers. While the oldest self-helporganization, and the lack of life experience and perspectiveoften Alcoholics Anonymous, recently celebrated its causes teens to blow things out ofproportion. A fiftieth anniversary, hundreds of other types of self-help groupwhether for general rapping or for groups have also come into being overthe last youth dealing with a specific problemcan be an several years. These include groups for physical extremely useful resource, a way in which youths health problems, women's issues, addictions, can begin solving their ownproblems. bereavement, parenting and a whole host of mental This manual has been written to help you, the health problems from anorexia and child abuse to interested youth or involved adult, to start a self- autism and agoraphobia. help group for youth, where mountains become Three functions make these groups a dynamic and molehills and everyone can benefit from each vital aid to their members: (1) they provide a strong other's shared concern. The text of the manual has social support for those who want to exchange assis- been written in chapters ranging from the more tance and comfort; (2) they encourage theeducation general to the most specific. We hope that all parts of group members and interested persons in related will be useful and can be read consecutively like a issues; (3) in some cases they can serve to facilitate roadmap. However, you might want to jump to an the development of advocacy efforts at local, state area of interest to you and shouldfeel quite free to and national levels. The New Jersey Self-Help do so. Youth might be most interested in knowing Clearinghouse has in its information and referral

133 134 Youth Engaged in Self-Help files a listing of over 3,200 self-help groups that Teen Group for Adolescent Cancer Patients meet in New Jersey and 270 national or model (Union County) gri./ups. The positive response received from these is Candlelightersfor siblings of children with continuous, confirming that self-help is already an cancer encouraging example of how people can help A.D.A.P.T.(A Diabetic's A Person Too) themselves by helping each other. diabetics under 17 Self-help groups, bv definition and function, are Juvenile Diabetes Associationincludes teen composed of people who share a common life groups situation, problem or handicap and who exchange Pediatric Diabetes Groupfor children and support and information for their mutual benefit. adolescents They draw on members' experiential knowledge, are Epilepsy Foundation of New Jerseyincludes focused on members' genuine needs, involve no fees teen groups and are voluntary. Based on theoe guidelines almost Association for Children and Adults With any problem area in which an adult self-help group Learning Disabilities exists can be addressed by a self-help group for The Center for Attitudinal Healingnational youth. pen pal/phone pal program for children with The following are youth self-help groups which al- life-threatening illnesses (California) ready exist in New Jersey (unless noted otherwise): Young Fightersfor kids with major illness (New York City) Addictions/Dependencies Scoliosis Society of New Jerseyincludes youth groups Alcoholics Anonymousyoung peoples' We Care Youth Group of the Speak Easy groups Foundationfor youth who stutter Alateenfor teenagers with an alcoholic parent Mental Health Gam-a-teenfor teenagers with a gambling family member Anorexia Nervosa/Bulimia Naranonfor families of a narcotic abuser Abused KidsParents Anonymous-sponsored Overeaters Anonymousteen groups groups Kids Anonymousthr children from stressful Bereavement/Death family environments (Illinois) Teens Togetherfor youth with a problematic Alice Henderson Children's Groupsfor relationship with their parents (Virginia) children (7-48) of parents who have or have Daughters and Sons UnitedParents United- died of cancer sponsored groups for abused children and Bereavement Groups for Children (5-11) and teens and their siblings Adolescents (12-18) (Essex County) Youth Emotions AnonymousE.A. for kids Compassionate Friendsfor children who (13-19) (Minnesota) have lost a sibling SIBSSiblings of the Mentally Retarded Jamie Schuman Centerteen groups, loss of (Texas) all kinds Project Supportperiodic group for grieving Divorce/Single Parent teens (14-18) Children of Separation and Divorce Health/Disabilities International Youth Council (IYC)Parents Without Partnerssponsored group for single- AmputationP.A.C.T. (Parents of Amputee parent kids Children Together) groups for youthful Youth Divorce Support Group amputees as well as their parents

134 135 Developing Support Groups for Students

Sisterhood of Single Black Mothersolder troubles with the implication that the kids are also single mothers help teen mothers (New York troubled. Attending a rap group just indicates that a City) young person wants to talk withother kids; Early Single Parenting Project for pregnant therefore, general rap groups may be the first choice teens (Calif.) for many young people. In addition, even in specific problem-focused groups that involve young people, the issues cover a much broader range than the Youth/Students corresponding adult groupyouth groups tend to be Network--high school students lead positive generally more like rap groups. "peer pressure" groups in middle schools (Burlington County) Teenage Rap Group (Passaic County) II. Self-Help Groups for Youth: Rap Roomschool drop-in rap group (New What They Can Do York City) Rap GroupYMCA-sponsored teen rap group Why start a youth self-help group? (New York City) In what ways can youth learn and grow in a S.A.D.D.Students Against Driving Dnmk self-help group? The article "Kids Helping Kids Cope" in the Other March/April 1981 edition of The Self-Help Reporter, Families of Homicide Victims Support the newsletter of the National Self-Help Clearing- Groupfor siblings of homicide victims (New house, discusses the characteristics and benefits of York) youth self-help groups: Gay and Lesbian Youth of New York (New Despite differences in structure and initial York City) approach many groups faced similar problems Your Turfgay youth group (Connecticut) and developed common solutions to them. Gay Youth Alliance (California) Three basic goals that emerge are: to foster Foster Parents Associationfor foster parents mutual support and self-help; to encourage and kids psychological development and growth; and to These are merely examples of youth groups that develop interpersonal and (by extension) have already been formed in the burgeoningself- communal skills. help field. Obviously the potential exists for others The following are important tenefits young in a great many of the areas in which adult self-help people can gain in mutual aid self-help groups. groups exist. Although adolescentsoften do feel comfortable in adult groupsas one Overeaters Anonymous member has said, "They're just like Sense of Belonging us"the additional benefits of peer support and mutual aid can make youth self-help groups Self-help groups enable youth to discover that they especially rewarding for the young people. are not alone and that they canreceive support from Many claim that what young people need most is others who "have been there." Isolation may be the just a "safe" place in which to talk about their greatest problem kids face these days; eventhe most problems and concerns. Rap groups can fill this popular pastimeswatching television,playing need. Youth themselves often deny specific prob- video games or learning on a computerare most lems or stressful life circumstances and would prefer often solitary activities. Ever more frequently the a general discussion group. Forexample, someone family support base of a child or teen is diminished, who agrees to attend a group for kids of separated or as extended family members livefar away and both divorced families may feel that such attendance parents and siblings are busy with their ownactivi- would be a public announcement of their family's ties, coping with demanding lifestyles. Discovering

136 13 5 Youth Engaged in Self-Help

that others are in a similar position can remove the values system. Self-help groups can prompt a values isolated feelings a youngster may have and lift some clarification process that helps kids become aware of the weight of a problem off his or her shoulders. of, express, explore and affirm their own personal At a recent New Jersey Education Association values; this may also facilitate their understanding conference on discipline, a high school senior from of the values of others. An open discussion fosters a Bayonne, New Jersey school that offers the Project both sharing and respect, a combination that creates Respect program of peer relations, communication the aura of acceptance where there might have been and social support related her experience: rejection of ideas. This in turn encourages young "I was always in trouble freshman year. If I people to view different sides of issues and to use a didn't like something in class, I would let the clear evaluating process in reaching their values teacher know about it. I felt that no teacher decisions. Because these values have been thought- could tell me what to do. fully considered, youth are more likely, then, to be aware of the beliefs they prize, to make decisions I would talk about my frustrations with my peer based on their beliefs, and to evaluate consequent group, and found that I wasn't the only one who outcomes. had these feelings. I felt better talking about them and learned other ways of dealing with Communication Skills them that wouldn't be so destructive." Youth may gain or polish various social and com- Problem Solving munication skills through a self-help group as they interact in a helping environment. Groups consist The creation of a non-judgmental atmosphere in a mainly of discussion and members usually are self-help group fosters a caring kind of problem- communicating their opinions and feelings. A youth solving effort among its members. In fact, a group who learnr speaking within a group can take that such as this may provide the only non-judgmental talent into the classroom, family and work life. social involvement young people have, and the Additionally, a person who is able to discuss his or resulting freedom often helps to release feelings her emotions can better release tension and enjoy previously unshared. In this type of atmosphere no peers than one who cannot communicate as well. problem seems too big to be solved. A troubled person can sometimes defuse his or her problem just Responsibility by talking about it, and helpful, nan-judging suggestions from others in the group can produce concrete In being able to talk over problems and provide solutions. The saying runs: "Two heads are better solutions, youth fmd that they can have an impact on than one," and when the two (or more) heads belong their own and each others' lives; events are not just to similarly-aged people, the likelihood greatly happening to them. They become shapers of their increases that a common perspective and a more own futures, short- and long-term, and they discover empathetic understanding of problems will emerge. that what they do does matter. Not only can this give The chronicle of a group for foster girls in New adolescents a sense of positive control not previ- York City explains, "...perhaps it is the family-like ously realized, but it also makes them feel more quality of the group that means the most to the girls responsible for both their actions and lack of action. when all is said and done. In this family, help is Self-responsibility is a tremendously important asset given regardless of whether they 'deserved it' or for a young person, a key building block for a not. Regardless of what they did, they were loved." successful, involved adult life.

Values Clarification Feeling of Worth Changes in our society have made it difficult to form Along with the feeling of responsibility, youth can consistent, lasting values, and young people in gain self-esteem and self-respect from the process of particular may find it challenging to adopt a clear helping themselves and others through mutual aid.

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Realizing that one can make a differencein other like themselves and share their experiences,knowl- people's lives is often such a positiveexperience edge, strengths and hopes. that a youth can become more confidentand capable While there is no one recipe for starting a group, in dealing with his or her own troubles.And those listed below are general guidelines that have proven "helping youth" often become life-longhelping helpful to many adults. They represent one general will resources, people to whomothers can turn for sup- approach. Actual development and sequence port, information, and a caring,helping hand. The vary slightly, based uponchoice of a particular self- very concept of"helper-therapy," in which persons help group model or other special circumstances or who have helped each other showincreased benefit member preferences. themselves, evolved from tutoring projects runby and for youth. Assess Need Although self-help groups are not a panaceafor all of the problems and pains that youth encounter, Specific problems, such as the separation ordivorce the open, caring discussion they offer canhelp to of parents, diabetes, or drug problems, mayrequire a alleviate isolation, suggest solutions to probkmsand group that focuses on bringingtogether others with build strengths and skills that will servewell this particular problem. If the concerns are more through adolescence and adult lives. The valueof general issues such as peer pressure, relationships or mutual aid in self-help groups can have aprofound depression, a group focusing on general issuesof effect and last a lifetime. concern to young people maybe preferred. In either case, it is important to defineclearly the goals of the Self-Help Reporter Newsletter available from: group and to become awareof self-help group National Self-Help Clearinghouse dynamics and km they differ from professionally- City University of New York Graduate Center run therapy or support groups.For a better under- Room 1206A standing of how self-help groups operate as volun- organizations, refer 33 West 42nd Street tary, member-run, mutual help bibliography) or New York, New York 10036 to readings on mutual help (see (212) 840-1259 consider attending a local group that has open meetings. Project Respect James Wasser, Director of Peer Programs Assess Current Groups and Models Bayonne Board of Education often Avenue A & 29th Street Existing national or model self-help groups are variety of Bayonne, New Jersey 07002 wonderful resources of experience. A these groups print development manuals orhelpful Lee, J. A., & Park, D. N. (1978). A groupapproach guideline materials that can be obtained and re- to the depressed adolescent girlin foster care. viewed. The New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 48(3). can help to identify nationalmodel groups. Attend- ing meetings of other self-help groups mayprovide an understanding oftheir operation, as well as the III. General Guidelines for Developing most relevant techniques to be usedin developing a Self-Help Groups group.

Young people help each other and themselvesall the Identify Interested Persons and Form a time. Forming a youth self-help group is takingthat Core Group natural self-help activity one step further,going beyond a circle of friends to know and share con- Adults in various fields may be able to identify cerns with other youngpeople. Youth self-help youth who face a specific problem and whowould groups offer young people who face a commoncon- be helped by a self-help group that dealtwith that cern or problem the opportunity to meetwith others problem. Young people who could benefit from a

1:37 138 Youth Engaged in Self-Help general rap group may not be as easily recognizable. "In truth, there's a leader in everygroup, They themselves may not be aware of their troubles they're just sitting on their hz. Js most of the as solvable problems or realize the potential benefit time. If nobody's there to lead, natural leaders of self-help groups. Below are listed a few cate- will appear. I think that it's awfully important gories to think of when identifying young people for self-help groups that the leadership be who could contribute to, benefit from, and draw passed around the group. If you bum out the mom people into the self-help group that both kids leaders, you'll use them up and they'll stop and adults can use. coming; then you won't have the benefit of anything in their minds or their experience." Influence If an adult is involved in the planning, this can be students who influence others in the classroom the time when the adult and the group determine kids who influence others outside the class- what kind of relationship they will have, clarifying room their roles.

Rumors Plan, Publicize & Run the First Public Meeting if there were a rumor being passed around (bad news, good news or gossip), who would be the The first project of the core group is planning the first few kids to hear about it? first general meeting of the self-help group. Core group members can distribute responsibilities and ideas and offer support to each other. They can share Respect tasks such as serving as co-chairs (if the youth kids who are nice to everyone facilitate their own group), making arrangements for kids who have good ideas and think of fun the meeting space, serving as greeters, and pro- things to do viding refreshments. Sharing responsibilities also kids who offer help when someone needs it reduces the risk of "one leader bumout"a phe- kids others would like to work with nomena likely to occur when one person assumes kids who would do a good job of organizing a too many responsibilities. Perhaps most importantly, class party sharing responsibility allows all group members to feel a sense of ownership regarding the group. Once several young people are interested in Core group members can also begin work on starting a group, not just joining one, the next step is publicity. Reaching potential members is never easy. to have a pteliminary meeting of this "core group." Word of mouth, personal contacts and bringing A core group, because of shared interest and mutual along a friend or two are probably the best ways to support of the individuals, can address the tasks of involve other young people. Putting up posters or planning the first meeting, arranging for a place to passing out flyers in places where young people meet and a time, preparing publicity and clarifying goschools, youth centers, pizzeriasis another the purpose of the group. Working together as a good idea. Contacting guidance counselors, church team, the core group will effectively model for youth directors or other professionals can be another others at the time of the first public meeting what approach to try, as well as seeking free announce- self-help mutual aid is all aboutnot one person ments on the radio or in the local newspaper. Per- doing it all, but a group effort. sonal contact with potential members is of primary The New Jersey representative of Toughlove had importance, and the positive, fun aspects of the an observation on leadership in her presentation at group should be emphasized. The adult can assist in the New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse's 1985 making referrals to this first meeting through his or Conference: her contacts with other adults and professionals.

1 3 S 139 Developing Support Groups for Students

Run the First Meeting f.Phone network. Self-help groups should provide an atmosphere of caring, sharing and The first meeting should be be arranged sothat there support when needed. Many groups encourage will be ample time for participants to get toknow the exchange of telephone numbers to provide one another. Ice-breakers andother activities can help whenever needed. help people relax and begin to open up to one g.Activities. The group may want to start with another. Members may also explore what needsthey small projects which will elicit praise and have in common that the group canaddress, as well support for a job well done. Groups can as problems they all face. include guest speakers, films or special service projects as part of their plansthe sky is truly Plan Future Meetings the limit. Lastly, it is natural and to be expected that the Considerations for future meetings may be the group experience ups anddowns in terms of following: attendance and enthusiasm. There may be theneed a. Defining the purpose(s)of the group. Are they to "tiouble-shoot" or address new problems asthey clear? arise. An adult advisor can be very helpful to the b. Membership. Who can attend meetings, who group in solving problems such as amember who cannot? Should the regular membership be dominates discussion or low membership. Problem- limited to young people with the same situa- solving and responsibility should always be a tion or problem, an associate membership collaborative effort, however, so the youth can being reserved for close friends? Should realize all of the benefits that self-help groups have parents be invited to some meetings? to offer. c. Frequency. Whatday and time are best for A representative from Alateen, a group for members? Most groups have found that meet- children of alcoholics, had an observation on the ing once or twice a month works best. When workings of a youth self-help group in his May 5, the group is held infrequently, young people 1983 presentation at the annual New JerseySelf- are more likely to makeit a priority in their Help Clearinghouse Conference: schedules. An average group meeting is about long. When Friendship is much more important in the kids' an hour to an hour-and-a-half the adults' combined with activities, meeting time is group than in the adults' group; (in group) they are more serious...in any kind of sometimes extended. youth group, it's more of a friendly kind of d. Meeting format. What choice or combination talking, where they can tell their problems and of discussion time, activities, education, business meeting and socializingsuits the group the kids can really give good feedback. best? What guidelines could be used to ensure ...During the week I'm probably going to have a that discussions be nonjudgmental, confiden- problem; even if I had a great week I'll still go tial and informative? If the group grows because I know that people over there had a bad beyond six to twelve members, consider week and maybe I can help. breaking down into smaller groups for discus- His co-presenter added: "I go to meetings to help sion. e. Age levels. Into what age groupsshould the myself and to help other people too." young people divide? Trying to run ayouth And that is what self-help means to self- group that combines a wide age rangeis very helpers. difficult, because each age group has different *"Peer Pickin's" suggestions--ideas for identifying developmental needs. While 7- to 11-year-olds of Project need highly structured discussions or goal- core group membersare courtesy oriented tasks, 12- to 14-year-olds require less Respect in Bayonne, New Jersey. structure and 15- to 20-year-olds even less.

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Project Respect Advisor/Sponsor. Committed to an ongoing James Wasser, Director of Peer Programs relationship with the group. Remains in the Bayonne Board of Education background providing advice, consultation and Avenue A & 29th Street encouragement. As older group members and Bayonne, New Jersey 07002 leaders leave the group, contributes to group continuity. *Transcripts of Tough love representative Lane Trainer. Provides whatever training is neces- Peer's presentation at the Clearinghouse's 1985 sary to prepare the young people to run their Conference and Alateen representatives' presen- own group (communication skills, group tation at the 1983 Conference both available through dynamics, information related to their specific the Clearinghouse at 800-FOR-MASH. problems). Encourager/Friend: An informal role, helping kids to develop confidence in their ability IV. Who Might Help Youth to Start a to do youth self-help. In general, being a Self-Help Group? "friend" to the group. Facilitator/Co-facilitator- Leads or co-leads Many groups of adolescents are quite capable of the group, guided by young people's issues. starting and nmning their own self-help groups and May also have been the initiator of the group. they should most certainly be encouraged to do so. The larger the role kids take in organizing and Deciding on the appropriate role for an adult in a keeping the group running smoothly, the greater youth self-help group depends on many factors, their sense of ownership. Often, however, a certain including the severity of the problem, the age and amount of adult involvement is useful, whether to maturity of the young people, how long the group supply information, names of contact people, or has been going, and the "fit" between the abilities organizational skillsall of which are normally and desires of the young people involved. In gained only through experience. general, with younger kids or those dealing with Adults from various fields and in various roles can very severe problems (physical abuse, incest), more adult input will be required than with older kids and be helpful. Parents, teachers, clergy, youth organization leaders (YMCA, Girl Scouts, etc.) and youth those dealing with less severe problems. recreation directors as well as professionals in the When adults begin youth self-help groups it medical, mental health and social service fields all appears that they seldom develop a core group of have contact with young people. When this contact young people to work with in planning the group. is infused with a basic trust in youth and a sincere This is understandable in some cases; for instance, interest in their concerns, then the groundwork is when the problem is very serious (e.g., incest) it laid for adult help that can take several forms: may prove difficult to find youth well enough along in admitting and working on the problem to be Initiator. Takes the inkiative in developing a willing to be part of a core group. However, in group, recruiting a core group of youth, general it appears that the adult should attempt to finding a meeting place, etc. May or may not develop a core group of youth for most groups. have an ongoing role after the group is Especially when the adult wants to be an advisor or established and meeting regularly. sponsor rather than facilitator, the core group is Consultant. Initially provides information or strongly recommended as a way of ensuring that this advice to young people interested in starting a will be the adult's role. group. May later function as a "trouble An adult's participation in the first meeting may shooter," helping with special problems for vary from providing moral support to core group which the young people want help (dealing members who are chairing the meeting to addressing with problem members, permission and the group as a speaker or possibly being a co-leader materials). if necessary. Whenever possible, the role should be

r r y 6. 140 141 Developing Support Groups for Students

minimal to allow the youth to exercise and develop bounce it off on someone else, wouldn't it be their own group competencies. great rather than always having thisthing, this Adult helping roles may also change over time. sign on their backs that they were different or Some adults have initially served as group starters abnormal? and prepared the young people to take over, at which So after a couple of years I went to my parish time they recede into the role of advisor. Ideally, with the idea. Father Bob was very involved once substantial progress has beenmade in working with youth groups within the parish, all through start-up issues and struggles of group different kinds of youth groups. I said, "Come survival, youth will naturally take on more responsi- on, Bob, what do you think ofthis?" He agreed bility for the group and adult initiators less. There is and was very enthusiastic. And 7 said, "I'll help always the risk, however, of adult involvement not if that's what it needs; I'd like to be a part of it." decreasing, despite the ability and desire of youthful group members to run their own group.This is the What we did from there: He knew families problem of adult co-option which can all too easily within the parish that were separated or drive away the very youth for whom the group was divorced, and we brought together those people, begun. See Chapter V for suggestions on how to those parents. We met with them a couple of avoid this. times...We had a nice group of kids. The group Whatever roles the adult takes on, youth self-help that we started with were teenagersthe core groups should center on the genuineneeds of the group were teenagers. It wentwell. We members, involve mutual help, draw on the youths' discussed all kinds of things. experiential knowledge, and be perceived by the Then Peter joinedyou can tell them how you young people as "their group." got involved. A good example of adult involvement is depicted in the following, an excerpt from a workshop on Peter: I was completing my Master's degree, children of separation and divorce held at the New and I was doing fieldwork placement at St. Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse's annual conference Mary's. Father Bob asked me if I would observe of May 26, 1983. The speakers are Jane Ban and some of the meetings (I had toldhim previously Peter Guide, facilitators of a children's group that that I had to do some legwork, visit different meets in Pompton Lakes, New Jersey; theyexplain meetings and document that I had done so). So I how they became involved in starting the group. visited the meeting, and right off the bat I was just captured by the idea of having a support Jane: Four years ago our group started; I am a group for children of separated anddivorced single parent, and I have four children. I've parents, and really tending to the children's been separated and divorced for 10 years now, particular needs, almost as though the children and at the time of my separation my children themselves were divorced...What we've done is were 11, 10, 8 and 3. For the nextcouple of to create a space for children who all have a years it was a struggle with thekids. I can particular set of problems, who all have par- remember that it took my son, who was about 8 ticular needs that are different problems and at the time, two years to admit that hisfather different needs than children who come from a had left...We managed quite well because we family where there's been no divorce. The had other support systemsthe parish I belong commonality of experience concept comes into to is a wonderful support system, myfamily play very strongly in our group because was greatso we didn't have a lotof traumatic everybody that's in the group is a child that things. But I thought it would be nice if the comes from a divorced family. children had somebody they could talk to...I thought, wouldn't it be great to have a group of *A transcript of the presentation made by facilitators kids just being together? They don't even have Jane Ban and Peter Guide of the childrenof to talk about divorce, they could just know that separation and divorce group of Pompton Lakes at if some issue came up, and they wanted to

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the New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse conference Young people may not believe you mean it in 1983 is available from the Clearinghouse. when you tell them it is their group. Be prepared for testing. When tested, be forthright in explaining your values, motives and V. Promoting Youth Ownership in Self- feelingseveryone involved in the group must Help Groups be willing to be open. Talk on a mutual level with youth, on a A sense of "ownership" is vital to the viability and person-to-person level rather than an adult-to- effectiveness of any self-help groupespecially one child level. Be both a friend and an advisor. for youth. Many factors contribute to young people Listen carefully, respectfully and actively. feeling ownership of their group, among which are Sustain confidence in the ability of youth to do those related to group structure and process (for kids the work even in turbulent times, and themselves to know) as well as those related to adult remember to be a lover of kids, "tuned in" as participation. well as accepting and tolerant of their ways.

Suggestions for Group Structure and Process VI. Meeting Formats Involve a core group from the earliest stages of group development, "thrashing out" objectives Depending on the issues addressed by a group and as well as planning for how to reach them. its particular stage of development, different meet- Develop an explicit structure for group ing formats am more or less appropriate. The most decision-making. A formal and written one is a important criteria for the choice of a group's meet- good idea. This structure belongs to the group, ing style is what the members wanr, in a youth group the adult included. the young people's own prefeiences must be first. Establish ground rules for group discussion. The first meeting of any group has a format all to These are necessary to maintain control and itself. Since members may not know each other very facilitate the group process. Everyone, adults well or at all, introductions and brief self- as well as youth, must abide by them. descriptions are in order. To get the group off to a Youth can certainly lead meetings and run smooth start the initial meeting can also include groups. Youth leadership seems to work best group exercises and ice breakers. These can help with paired leaders to balance each other's young people get to know each other and can set a talents or serial leadership, a strategy by which relaxed tone for the rest of the meeting. From that the next leaders participate in the current work. point on, any of several meeting formats can be The group process needs to encompass both chosen. youth ownership and adult guidance. Adults An open discussion group can be structured or should try to avoid two common mistakes unstructuird. In an unstructured group meeting the made in working with young people: (1) To be members can bring up their day-to-day problems too much in charge, so that the young people and experiences and exchange ideas, suggestions involved have no real input, or (2) To just let and support. Someone who had a misunderstanding youth "do their own thing" without any with his or her parents, for example, or another who guidance. had an exciting tAlk about history with an elderly friend could discuss it with peers in the group. The Suggestions for Adult Participation topic of discussion is entirely up to those who attend the group meeting and can be decided by mutual Be swe that the reason for starting or helping consent or the normal flow of conversation. A t out with a youth self-help group is for the structured group meeting has a specific topic of young people, not just to meet your own needs. interest to the group members around which a

142 143 Developing Support Groups for Students discussion proceeds. The group members may VII. Discussion Topics decide on a topic at the meedng itself, orthey may decide during a prior meeting, so they canthink People who participate in self-help groupsinher- about the topic in advance or even readabout it. ently have great personal incentive to talk overtheir Possible topics can cover a wide range ofsubjects problems or life situations. Frequently,however, and emotions; a list of suggestions can befound in they are strangers and discussion may notbe possible discus- the following section. automatic or easy. Having a list of An Informational meeting is just that; it serves to sion topics can be a real boon, whetherformulated educate the group members in an area of common in advance for a particular meeting orheld in interest. The topic is chosen by the members(see reserve for an especiallyquiet meeting. The purpose discussion topics section), usually the dimctresult of of asking related questions or bringing uptopics for and a prior group discussion.A single group member discussion is to help individuals think about may find it of special interest and prepare amport share their experiences and concerns. Them are no only for the rest of the group. The group may arrangefor right and wrong answers or responses, which a knowledgeable guestspeaker to attend and have a differences reflecting the different stages in discussion afterward. SADD (Students Against people find themselves regarding any life stress.The Driving Drunk), for example, may ask a police discussion topics should not be points ofcontention officer to attend a meeting and discuss thefacts but rather a means to exchange ideasand opinions. about drinking and driving. Usually both thespeaker The following are suggestions for self-help groups and the group benefit from their contact. dealing with medical and mental health problems. Young people am active and enjoy doing aswell These are merely suggested questions which canbe as talking. Many groupscombine activity and added to and adapted to the situation that isrelevant discussion in each meeting. The activity can be to the people in a particular group. drawing, role playing, games, letter writing (such as How did I feel when I was first told that I about an occur- to a sibling to tell how they feel had ? rence), music, reading relevant books, viewing films What was my family's and friends' reaction to or simply going out togetherafter the group meet- the news that I had ? How did it differ ing. Action planningcanchannel this energy into from what I expected? From what I wanted? productive results. A group may decide to visit a What would I say in a note or a letter to local home for the elderly, for example, or clean up someone who was facing whatI have faced? a local park. SADA,Students Against Drug Abuse, What is the worst problem that a person and a group based in aJersey City junior high, made his/her family must face as a result of this? posters and produced a play for ananti-drug cam- Who is the easiest person to talk to about this? paign in its school. These efforts turn actioninto Why? Who is the hardest person? Why? activities from which the community and the young Who has been most supportive andhelpful to people themselves can benefit. me in dealing with thissituation, and how? With whom do I get angry? About what? *SADD (Students Against Driving Drunk) What do people do that makes me feel P.O. Box 800 especially good? Marlboro, Massachusetts 20814 How do I deal with any loneliness I feel? How do I deal with any fear I have due to *SADA (Students Against Drug Abuse) having ? St. Anne School What used to be the expectations I held for ? How 255 Congress Street myself, before I learned that I had Jersey City, New Jersey 07307 have these expectations changed?

143 144 Youth Engaged in Self-Help

Generally, how has my life changed? What Student/teacher relationships new values and priorities do I have now that I Will power did not have before? Sex If I have learned anything special about life or School pressures human nature as a result of my ,what is Parties it? The International Youth Council of Parents Discussion topics for general youth groups can Without Partners has also addressed the challenge of cover an equally important yet wider range of topics for youth discussion. This national organiza- subjects. At the beginning of 1984, the Student tion, in their own wotds, "brings teens from single Outreach Service, an active in-house peer group, parent homes together to share ideas and problems, conducted a survey of fellow students at Ramsey develop leadership and re-enter the mainstream of High School to discover important teenage life beyond boundaries of the single parent group." concerns. The results indicated topics important to Their suggestions are as follows: students and also gave the SOS Club new subjects for their open discussion sessions. The outcome Suggested Topics for Teens follows (out of 555 surveys collected): Collegeis it necessary? Concerns Student unrestwhy? Sex educationdo I need it? Depression 250 Race relations Peer pressure 246 Nuclear war Family fights 233 Parents Relationships 230 How to live on an allowance Drug use 213 Is there anything good to be said about tradition? Future planning 213 Alcohol, tobacco and drugs Handling emotions 202 Religion and the teen view Family alcoholism 201 Self disciplinewill it work? Family communicadon 200 Responsibilityhow much should teens have? Dating 188 Should schools operate year round? Moral judgments and values 159 How much influence does the peer group have on Boredom 149 me? Reality of death 147 Birth control, abortionpros and cons Family divorce 134 Skin problems and how to cope with them Self-esteem 115 At what age should dadng begin? Loneliness 113 Popularity--at what price? Running away 112 Should clothes and hair make a difference? Mental abuse 111 Where can I get financial assistance to go to Child abuse 86 college? What will I major in and why? Students' Suggestions for Topics Do I want to be a leader or a follower and why? Should teens get involved in community projects? 'Drunk driving Suicide A general rap gmup has an enormous capacity to Pregnancy help children and adolescents understand and deal Friends with issues they face. Discussion of important topics Attitudes is the key to this process. Financial problems An example is the after-school peer discussion Teenage crime and vandalism groups in the middle schools of the Lenape Regional

144 145 Developing Support Groups for Students

School District, a program of the Network agency of !nation are necessary to ensure the group's Medford, New Jersey. These youth self-help groups success and survival. exist "to help middle school students cope with and The key ingredient in most helping relationships learn skill-building techniques to deal with peer is the sense on the part of the peison being helped pressure and other concerns." Teens from the local that he or she is being listened to. The term active high schools undergo training in peer relations, and listening refers to everything that someone might do they act as co-facilitators for the group. The result is in order to not only listen but let the speaker know adoles- a non-judgmental rap group that allows the he or she is being listened to. cents to voice their concerns on an array of subjects Non-verbal cues that a person is listening can and become more aware of differing viewpoints foster a genuine rapport between two people, and regarding those topics. The program has been very those in a peer supportive atmosphere should be successful. aware of non-verbal signals sent andreceived. A cue *Student Outreach Service can be leaning forward with a listeningface, saying Ramsey High School "mm hmm," or opening eyes wider in shared Ramsey, New Jersey 07446 disbelief; or it can be simply sitting back in a comfortable yet attentive position while continuing good *International Youth Council eye contact. Speakers often reveal theirfeelings 7910 Woodmont Avenue Suite 1008 through non-verbal cues"body language" as it has Bethesda, Maryland 20814 come to be known. The listener can tap this resource in trying to understand a speaker, and can reflect interested and caring non-verbal signals in return. VIII. Basic Helping Skills One example of a curriculum designed specifically to help youth hone their listening and helping In a self-help group, the role of facilitating or skills is Project Respect, in the Bayonne, New leading a group discussion is not the sole responsi- Jersey, School District. Directed by Jim Wasser, it bility of one person but really a function of the teaches students peer-helping skills in 22 weekly entire group. Thus, all members would do well to: sessions of 45 minutes each, and one 48-hour Help members feel comfortable and get to workshop. These skills (listed below) do not turn know each other. students into therapists, but do enable them to better Be sure the speaker has finished describing the understand both verbal and nonverbal communica- problem before offering advice. tion, and to respond more helpfully to each other. Listen attentively when another member is 1. Attending Skillsto understand meanings and speaking and not engage in side conversations. convey this understanding to the speaker Promote positive comments and new view- paraphrasing feelings points (keeping the discussion upbeat) lest the paraphrasing ideas discussion deteriorate into a gripe session. identifying non-verbal messages Notice silent people in the group and encour- paraphrasing whole messages age them to contribute. Participate in the discussion, sharing problems 2. Adding Direction and Clarification Skills and offering ideas and advice. summarizing ideas and feelings while Recognize when a member's problem is emphasizing what the speaker has defined beyond the group's ability to help and be as the most the important part of the mes- willing to suggest resources outside the group. sage Assure fellow members that whatever is said in summarizing ideas and feelings while the group stays there (maintain confidentiality), offering an educated guess as to what may as this will greatly increase the amount shared. be the underlying problem Make a commitment to the group, contributing (Students using these skills are reminded to whatever talents, skills, resources and infor- make their summaries and guesses tentative.)

145 146 Youth Engaged in Self-Help

3. Facilitation Skills Katz, A. H., & Bender, E. I. (1976). The strength in clarifying group tasks and agenda, staying us: Self-help in the modern world. New York: on task, delegating responsibilities New Viewpoints. maintaining group process, ensuring that Larkin, K., Meese, A., & Madara, E. J. (1984). The all individuals attend non-verbally and give .Jlp directory 1984-85. Denville, NJ: Self- support and understanding to all other Help Clearinghouse. individuals. Lieberman, M. A., & Borman, L. D. (1979). Self- 4. Confrontation Skills. People need a way of help groups for coping with crisis. San Franciv:a: giving negative feedback without hurting the Jossey-Bass Social and Behavioral Science Series person who is repeatedly presenting discrepan- Publishers. cies or contradictions. Confrontation according Madara, E. (1982) Developing self-help groups: to these guidelines is is a good way to mini- General steps of guidelines for professionals. mize negativism: Paper presented at the Mutual Help Networks: asking pennission (timing is important) Maximizing Resources for Health Care defining/describing behavior or contra- Conference, New Jersey School of Osteopathic diction Medicine, University of Medicine and Dentistry telling how you feel about what the person of New Jersey. does Madara, E. (1981),Ideas and consideratik :s for being tentative and non-judgmental, starting a self-help mutual aid group. Paper without blaming or giving advice presented at Tapping New ResourcesMutual checking out what the person's reaction is, Help Groups Conference, New Jersey Self-Help (e.g., "I don't knowis that right?") Clearinghouse. (Whenever they use these skills, students Madara, E. Self-help and how we teach tomorrow. should try never to "put down" or "give What's New in Home Economics, 17(4), 1-4. advice" to fellow members.) Paskert, C. J. & Madara, E. J. (1985, August/ September). Introducing and tapping self-help Young people who can use basic listening skills mutual aid resources. Health Education. have an enormous amount to offer each other in the Silverman, P. R. (1980). Mutual helpgroups: way of support, resources and friendship. A youth Organization and development. Beverly Hills, support group may become one of the most impor- CA: Sage Publications. t= parts of a young person's life, and the benefits gained and given can easily change that life for the Youth Literature better. Allen, P. R. (1980). Youthbook: Models and *Project Respect resources for neighborhood use. New York: James Wasser, Director of Peer Programs Citizens Committee for New York City, Bayonne Board of Education Incorporated. Avenue A & 29th Street Brunette, L. (1980). Youth involvement: A challenge Bayonne, New Jersey 07002 for communities. Madison, Wisconsin: Wisconsin Association for Youth. Gaston, C. M. et al. (1978) Coping group for kids. Bibliography Omaha: University of Nebraska Medical Center. McDermott, D. (1978). Peer consultation: The art of Self-Help Litegature friends helping friends. New York: Full Circle Associates. Gartner, A., & Riessman, F. (1980). Help: A Myrick, R. D., & Erney, T. (1979). Youth helping working guide to self-help groups. New York: youth: A handbook for training peer facilitators. New Viewpoint/Vision Books. Minneapolis: Educational Media Corporation.

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The National Commission on Resourcesfor Youth. free listing in our computer. In that way,future (1975).Resources foryouth. Boston: N.C.R.Y. callers could be referred to him or her as a contact York, R, & York, D. (1984).Toughlove: A self-help person interested in starting such a group.Since manual for kids introuble. Doylestown, PA: January of 1981 over 260 callers have successfully Indian Valley Printing. started groups in the state, adding significantly to the MASH resources available at little cost to the public. Appendix A The Clearinghouse welcomes requests for infor- About the Clearinghouse mation and referral on Mondays through Fridays, 9AM to 5PM. At all other times we utilize an The New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse, a project answering machine to take calls, and then return of St. Clare's Hospital in Denville, NewJersey, pro- them on the next work day. vides information and referral, free consultation, and training services for self-help groups throughout the The New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse state of New Jersey. The firstcomputerized opera- Saint Clare's Hospital tion of its type in the nation, the Clearinghouse Denville, NJ 07834 maintains and continually updates a database of 201-625-7101 information on over 3000 group meetings within the state, over 270 national headquarters anddemon- In New Jersey, toll-free, 1-800-367-6274 stration models, and about 75 helplines/ hotlines. (that's 1-800-FOR-MASH) Easy access to this information is assuredthrough Mutual Aid Self-Help our two toll-free phone lines, andyearly calls have averaged about 6000. Mutual aid self-help(MASH) groups are receiving increased nationalrocognition At the time this article was written MaryKay as valuable sources of social support,practical Parkinson and Nancy Sax were both VISTA education, volunteer services and coping skillsnot volunteers on the staff of the New Jersey Self-Help alternatives to professional services but rather sup- Clearinghouse. plements to them. An important component of our work is the devel- Reprinted with the permission of the New Jersey opment of new groups as needs arise. Forexample, Self-Help Clearinghouse. Some of the information if a caller inquires about a support group forsingle contained in this article is outdated. Updated infor- parents, and the computer search yieldsnothing in mation can be obtained by writing to the New Jersey the caller's county or area, we would invitethe per- Self-Help Clearinghouse. son to start a group, offeringtechnical assistance and

148 147 Introducing and TappingSelf-Help Mutual Aid Resources

Catherine J. Paskert and Edward J. Madara

Introduction A national policy recommendation of The self-help movement currently the Department of Health and Human sweeping the country is an extraordi- Services calls for doubling the number nary phenomenon that has implications of individuals reached by self-help for school officials in general and for groups by the end of this decade, from a health educators, school nurses, and 1978 baseline estimate of 2.5 to 5 million counselors in particular. Variously people (U.S. Department of Health and known as self-help, mutual-aid, or mu- Human Services, 1980). tual-help groups, these informal member-run organizations have evolved rap- Nature and Development of Self- idly since the mid-1970s and endeavor Help Groups to help people of all ages cope with a Self-help groups are characterized by wide variety of disabilities, parenting being member-run, voluntary associa- concerns, illnesses, and other stressful tions composed of peers who come to- life situations and transitions. gether for the primary purpose of mutual aid and support. The groups also provide opportunities for education; skills building; and,in some cases, Catherine I. Paskert is an associate professor needed advocacy. in the Department of Health Professions, Alcoholics Anonymous, organized in Montclair State College, Upper Montclair, 1935, generally is regarded as the fore- NI 07043. Edward I. Madara is founder and runner of twentieth century self-help director of the New Jersey Self-Help Clear- groups. From this daring concept of inghouse, St. Clare's Hospital Community nonprofessional support was spawned Mental Health Center, Denville, NJ 07834. a generation of groups having primarily 14S 149 Developing Support Groups for Students

an addition or behavior modification focus (e.g., Gamblers Anonymous, 1957 for compulsive gamblers; Narcotics Anonymous, 1953 (or drug addicts; and Overeaters Anonymous, 1960 for over- weight persons). Other premier groups with spedfic health related concerns included Recovery, Inc. (1937) for former mental patients and persons with nervous problems; and Mended Hearts, Inc. (1951) for recovered heart surgery patients. The decline of the extended family along with the erosion of support for- merly provided by the church, neigh- Represented within these categories purposes: 1) providing emotional sup- borhood, and community (Gartner & are groups for almost every imaginable port through discussion with others Reissman, 1977) gave rise to another human condition or concern. Conse- who share a similar stress or situation; generation of self-help groups that fo- quently, anyone seeking assistance is 2) improving the understanding of cused on a wide range of contemporary likely to identify a nearby group that one's condition through a pooling of social, political, and economic issues. already is dealing with their problem. If experiential knowledge; 3) giving practi- Better known among the pouArialocermed not, there is a nationwide network of cal assistance in the development of more recently are: the Gay Ac- clearinghouses (see appendix) equipped coping skills; and 4) generating public tivists (1969) to promote the rights of to assist in organizing a group that will awareness and social change byestab . homosexuals; Parents Anonymous meet unique interests and needs.The lishing an active, visible advocacy role. (1971) to aid parents who have abused gravity of the problems addressed also Operational requirements generally usual- their children; and Remove Intoxicated is varied and ranges from minor incon- are modest; therefore, groups are Drivers (1982) to lobby for more rigor- venience to tragic misfortune. Such va- ly self-supporting and seldom soliat ous drunk driving legislation. riety is illustrated by the formation of funds from other sources. The nature groups that focus on problems asdi- and frequency of meetings are deter- The evolution and recent astonishing verse as left-handedness, short stature, mined by the specifc goals of the proliferation of groups suggests that stuttering, herpes, widowhood, and groups, as is the length of membership. self-help is neither a new concept nor a terminal illness. Some, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, new fad approach to relief from human Helper therapy (Riessman, 1965), promote an active and long-term com- stress. The sometimes transient nature which espouses the benefits of peer- mitment; while others, such as the La of the groups makes it difficult to arrive counseling to the helper as well as the Leche League for nursing mothers, fos- at a precise quantitative statement of helpee, is a common dynamic found in ter short-term association. The meetings their numbers. However, based upon most self-help groups. Otherwise, the may be held in the homes ofmembers an extrapolation of the number ofself- groups are multifariouswithdiffer- or, more likely, in free or inexpensive help groups extensively identified in the ences noted in size, age andback- community facilities such as libraries, state of New Jersey (Larkin & Madara, ground of members, and types and inschools, hospitals, and churches 1983), a conservative estimate is that at tensity of activities. The groups are also (DHHS, 1981). any given time there are over three varied with respect to purpose, but the Originally and more widely known as million active members in over 100,000 major goal of most is to effect some self-help organizations, the groups can self-help groups throughout the nation- needed change (Lieberman & Borman, be more appropriately referred to as al. 1979). Groups either focus on modifying mutual-help groups because this desig- There is no universally acknowledged or controlling behaviors andattitudes nation more accurately describes the typology of self-help groups (Gartner & (e.g., Alcoholics Anonymous, Parents special interaction that occurs among Riessman, 1977; Lieberrnan & Borman, Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, members. Typically, members gain a 1979); however, they may be broadly and anorexia nervosa groups) or con- broader perspective of their own prob- classified as follows: 1) physical and centrate on helping members adjust to lem and .subsequently take a more ac- mental illness groups that assist pa- changes in significantlifesituations tive role in helping others in the group tients, parents, and families with practi- (e.g., handicap, terminal illness, death (Withorn, 1980). This role reversal, from cally every major disease as well as a of a loved one, job loss, divorce, and that of an entry level receiver and bene- plethora of other health-related disor- learning disability). factor to a ,:easoned and caring provid- ders; 2) behavior modification groups, Some local groups have the added er, may account for theself-perpetual- such as the "anonymous" organiza- dimension of affiliation with national ing character and longevity of some of tions, which 'ocus on a wide range of societies or foundations or with organi- the groups. addictive behaviors; 3) social support zations that emphasize public educa- groups for persons facing other life tran- tion, fund raising, legislative lobbying, Implications of Self-Help Groups sitions or situations (e.g., parents, the and research. Others may be affiliated for Schools divorced, and the bereaved); and 4) with local agencies or institutions or other, more advocacy-centered groups with professional care providers such as On a day-to-day basis, schook ark for special populations, emphasizing hospitals, physicians, and counselors. frequently required to cope with assort- trillsits of women, the elderly, homo- In the final analysis, most self-help ed health problems that are fairly com- stu A ,and othff minorities. groups serve several of the following mon among youthful populations.

150 149 Introducing and Tapping Self-Help Mutual Aid Resources

more recent tion is that schools referral of anorexics to self-help of alcoholism. Therefore, the advisabil- will alsorate:xi:heintractable "new groups). Professional sanction, whether ity of making curricular adjustments morbidity" which includes learning it be referrals or any other manner of especially in health educationthat problems, behaVoral disorders, sub- affiliation, contributes to the growing would increase student awareness of stance abuse, teenage pregnancy, and acceptance of self-help groups as appro- support groups as legitimate self-refer- child abuse (Silver, 1981). These chal- priate forms of health care. ral alternatives is an area that warrants lenges, coupled with the dilemma of It should also be emphasized that attention by the education community. remaining in compliance with legal self-help groups are not anti-profession- A key ingredient essential to achieving mandates to provide health services at a al. In fact, professionals are sometimes this goal is health educators who are time when budgets are severely eroded instrumental in the founding of self- attuned to the movement and who are by inflation, emphasize the advantages help groups (e.g., Parents Anonymous, cognizant of the potential of these of professional interface with self-help Recovery, Inc.) and often work along poups for managing personal crises. groups. with them. One value of self-help The very diversity of the gorups in- Despite the availability and reported groups is their availability and capabili- creases the number of opportunities for success of self-help groups in assisting ty to assist in situations when profes- the mutual help concept to be intro- individuals with almost every imagin- sional services are unavailable, unaffor- duced into any health curriculum. For able human condition, the referral value dable, or nonexistent or when there is a example, the wiry? wHAr? and How? of of this resource remains largely unrec- need that can better be filled by peer self-help groups could be incorporated ognized untapped by educators. group support. with the study of mental health, aging, This is not to say that self-help groups In the area of special education, self- nutrition, sexuality, substance abuse, can be all things tc all people, but nei- help groups are particularly important human disease, or most any other ther can schools. There are limitations for providing support and education to health topic. The value and variety of to what school staff can reasonably do to students and parents. For example, for self-help groups could later be rein- meet the expanding needs for support students there are student-age groups forced by recommending representative and help of both youths and families. for juvenile diabetes and juvenile arthri- groups, along with other intervention The addition of self-help groups to the tis; and for parents there are dozens and and management alternatives,to local resources schools generally refer to dozens of groups for learning disabil- whichever health problems are under when there is a need for services that ities in general (e.g., Tourette Syn- study. Some of the specific groups that are not available internally is an idea drome, mental retardation, and dysW- wouW likely be identified in health edu- that has scarcely been explored. Per- ia). Also, family action groups exist, cation classes are the well established haps the time has come for educators to such as Tough Love and Families Anon- organizations (e.g. Narcotics Anony- more aggressively investigate the po- ymous, that deal with adolescent be- mous, Overeaters Anonymous) and the tential of support groups as a means of havior. emerging youth groups concerned with outreach to the "unserved" and "unde- The support and education that these problems of the handicapped or teenage served." groups provide supplement profession- parents. As profeuionals, school administra- al services. Moreover, the groups also An often overlooked aspect and bene- tors, guidance counselors, nurses, and can serve as constituency for promoting fit of self-help groups is the vast scope teachers are in a position to encourage the funding and development of spe- of their educational outreach to the gen- and network parents into new groups cialized professional services within the eral student or public community. In (e.g., parents of gifted children, parents school as well as resource for needs addition to educational benefits that of handicapped children, and single assessment. have already been noted, the goal of parents). In the absence of any effective In addition to the emotional support sensitizing students to important health services advocacy for children, that ;coups provide, a primary benefit health, social, political, and eronomic prents represent the most important is education. Self-help groups create issues is another benefit that could be backers they have (Hoppe, 1979; Silver, new learning opportunities for parents met by inviting members of selected 1981). Educators can a6o help by spon- as well as students, whether a single self-help groups to serve as resource soring or starting youth groups such as parent group learning how to improve persons for dasses and special pro- children of divorced parents, abused parenting techniques or a group of stu- grams. With thoughtful election and children, children of alcoholics (Ala- dents learning about the disease aspects planning, group members could make a teen), and children of gamblers or Ga- mateen. Beyond a doubt, there is a need among some children for the very kinds of acceptance, encouragement, and support that self-help groups can provide. This does not imply the replace- ment of professional care. To the con- trary, it suggests that there are circumstances when selected groups can be effective adjuncts to professional intervention (Riessman, 1982). There are instances when professional care providers do recommend self-help group participation in conjunction with mecal or psychological care, (e.g., professional

150 151 Developing Support Groups for Students

powerful impact in these settings. There Summary United States Department of Health and Hu- are indications that school officials are man Services. (1981). Plain talk about mu- This article has presented an over- tual help groups. Washington, D.C.: Gov- beginning to tap this resource capabili- view of the characteristics and growth ernment Printing Office. ty. Such indications include cases of of twentieth century self-help groups, Withorn, A. (1980). Helping ourselves: The laryngectomee club members conduct- as well as the variety, purposes,and limits and potential of self-help. Social ing "stop smoking" programs in values of these rich and unique peer Policy 10(3) 20-27. schools and of epileptics educating support services. The article recounts school children to the problems associ- the mutual help concept of people with ated with epilepsy. Other groups, such like problems helping one another to This article is reprinted with permission as Mothers Against Drunk Drivers and cope and change and discusses thedi- fromthe Journal of Health Education Remove Intoxicated Drivers, frequently versity of groups in relation to problem, which is a publication of the American report they are both pleased and over- process, and program emphasis. Alliance for Health, Physical Education, whelmed with requests to participate in Changing social conditions, including Recreation and Dance in Reston, school alcohol-awareness programs. In- the new morbidity, often affect school Virginia. viting group members of course is a children so profoundly that external in- spin-off of the long-time practice of intervention of varying types is needed. viting Alcoholics Anonymous members Self-help groups are recommended as as guest speakers. More importantly, it one outside element having the flexibili- demonstrates the availability and great ty to be used or developed in conjunc- variation in local resource people. As a tion with professional services or, when direct result of the considerable increase appropriate, to be used in lieu of them. in number and kind of self-help groups, The referral, educational, and emo- there now are far more opportunities for tional support implications of self-help educators to selectively infuse pro- groups are examined with an emphasis grams, classes, and meeting.; Wth first- on the need for school staff tobecome hand accounts from an array of people more aware and knowledgeable regard- "who have been there and can tell it like ing the value of this affordable and it is." widely available community resource. The self-help group modality is not pro- Another related development is the posed as a panacea for coping with emergence of student assistance pro- contemporary health and social prob- grams with a membership that is apt to lems. Rather, the magnitude of the re- be selective and well-trained. From ear- cent expansion and the reported success ly investigations of the value of student of this social phenomenon reflect hew peer counseling, the conceptof "helper- students and families can benefit signifi- therapy" was postulated. The recent cantly and measurably from the judi- development of self-help groups target- dous use of this human services re- ed specifically for youth is a natural source. extension of this thought. Using youth as a resource to other youthwith both giver and receiver benefiting is often more beneficialthanthe traditional role of adults directing youth to work. Stu- Gartner, A., & Riessman, F. (1977). Self-help dents Against Drunk Driving and Chil- in the human services. San Francisco: Jos- dren of Separated and Divorced Parents sey-Bass Publishers. are examples of recently organizedsin- Hoppe, P. (1979). How to organize self-help gle-purpia youth groups. groups in schools. Exceptional Parent 9(4) The recent growth of self-help groups 22-23. has been paralleled by the development Larkin, K., & Madara, E. J. (Eds.). (1983). The self-help group sourcebook. Denville, NJ: of self-help clearinghouse operations, of New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse. which there are twenty in the United Lieberman, M. A., & Borman, L. D. (1979). States (see appendix). Clearinghouses Self-help groups for coping with crisis. San promote an increased awareness, un- Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers. derstanding, and utilization of groups, Riessman, F. (1%5). The "helper" therapy as well as increased collaborationbe- principle. Social Work 10,(2) 27-32. tween self-help and professional com- Riessman, F.(1982). The self-help ethos. munities Many provide consultation Social Policy 13(1) 42-43. Silver, G. A. (1981). Redefining school health and training services for developing services: Comprehensive child care as new groups. Such clearinghouses, ser- the framework. Journal of School Health veral of which are university sponsored, .51, 157-162. can assist school personnel in identify- United States Department of Health and Hu- ing current resources and models as man Services. (1980). Promoting health/ well as explore resear,:h strategies preventing disease: Objectives for the nation. aimed at tapping the movement's ener- Washington, D.C.: Government Print- gy and potential. ing Office.

152 151 Community Post-Tornado Support Groups

Conceptual Issues and Personal Themes

Thomas E. Long and Wayne C. Richard

Introduction will also present a description of the clinical themes and issues generated by this approach. The specific ver the past 10 years policymakers, admin- intervention methods utilized as well as attendant istrators and community mental health evaluation data are presented in the companion pos- 0practitioners have become increasingly ter presentation, Community Post-Tornado Support sophisticated in their attempts to provide crisis inter- Groups: Intervention and Evaluation by Susan vention services to those affected by natural disas- McCammon, Leslie Parker and Randy Horton. ters (Cohen, 1985). Reports summarizing mental health services to disaster survivors have recommended nontraditional services, including assertive Conceptual Issues community outreach and the building of support networks (Heffron, 1977; Richard, 1974; Tuchman, Use of Group Methods in Crisis Intervention 1973; Zarle, Hartsough, and Ottinger, 1974). Solomon (1985) has observed that mental health Group counseling in crisis intervention has followed professionals can facilitate the construction of new the principles discovered by Lindemann (1944) and social support networks for disaster victims through extended by Caplan (1964). The success Lindemann the formation of crisis groups. She noted attempts to had in counseling with victims of the famous establish such groups following several types of Coconut Grove fire led to the notion that people disasters met with variable success. While the crisis who suddenly suffer significant loss can be aided by group is a promising vehicle for post-disaster brief grief counseling. Caplan observed that families intervention, few guidelines have been offered for who had a premature infant adapted in either healthy establishing and operating such groups. It is our or unhealthy ways. Those who had healthy out- purpose in this presentation to review the sparse comes were families that faced problems squarely, literature in this area and to bring together some thought about them, and sought information to relevant conceptual issues about the use of groups in help solve them. Family interaction and sharing post-disaster counseling following a series of devas- facilitated the outcome. There was good com- tating tomados in rural eastern North Carolina. We munication and clear role assignments among the

152 153 Developing Support Groups for Students

members. The expression of feelings was encor r- ever, Solomon's (1985) focus on new social support aged. The opposite was true for the familka who networks is especially relevant to the present study. adapted poorly to a premature birth. In particular, establishing the new groups from the Strickler and Allgeyer (1967) and Morley and roll of disaster survivors provides unique advantages. Brown (1969) extended the earlier work into a crisis Grossman (1973) reported on a series of support intervention setting with heterogeneous groups of groups which included survivors, mlatives and men- clients. They tried open-end group n.embership and tal health workers following a Chicago train wreck. six weekly sessions. They kept the discussion A vital recovery element for those who participated focused at first on the precipitating event and the was grounded in the experience of survivorssharing previous coping behavior which failed. The treat- with other survivors. Participants uniformly felt that ment included group support, exploring alternative not even family members could adequately under- coping mechanisms, and expressing feelings. The stand and empathize with the felt trauma. outcomes were positive in that destructive behavior As Solomon (1985) notes, a disaster may disrupt and anxiety were reduced, self-concepts improved, existing social networks which in turn is itself an and the clients learned more adaptive problem additional source of stress. Centering recovery solving strategies for future crises. efforts around emerging survivor groups creates a Farberow (1976) reports studies of long-term, new and unique group solidarity that canbe utilized intermediate and drop-in group treatment for sui- as an active mutual aid system providingthe emo- cidal clients of the Los Angeles Suicide Prevention tional sustenance of new friendships and confidants. Center. He states that subjective reports of the par- Along yet another track, the development of ticipants indicated a very positive reaction to treat- newly formed support groups permits a higher ment. The group leaders also saw constructive degree of flexibility to facilitators for structuring behavior changes in most of the clients, with lethal- overall group operation, since specific expectations ity reduced and self-perceptions improved. Coping and fixed patterns of response are not as likely to behavior also improved, as evidenced by social exist as would be the case with kinship or friendship behavior, "work like" changes, and reduced reliance groups in operation prior to the disaster.Facilitators on self-destructive "crutches." may well have a greater opportunity for success at .Although the Farberow work and other studies structuring in action oriented, problem focused just described which involve crisis clients do not intervention effortswhich have been found to be represent disaster situations, they indicate that group the more effective crisis intervention approaches methods do work with people in crisis situations. (Hart, 1974; Robinson and Campbell, 1976). With regard to the place of meeting for post- disaster groups, Farberow (1978, and others have Use of Group Approach in Disaster noted that meeting places in community facilities Counseling other than the "stigmatizing" Mental Health Center In most reports of a disaster crisis counseling inter- is conducive to greater success. Apparently the vention effort that the authors have reviewed, some "neutral" gathering place helps avoid the various mention has been made of group methodology. The connotations which foster resistance to attendance. types of groups, their purposes, composition, stmc- In summary, the literature does provide some ture and meeting places vary quite a I At. All the relevant guidance for the effective use of post- reports indicate that the group sessions have been disaster group counseling. First, the use of group meaningful to the participants, and that positive process in post-disaster intervention is pervasive. results have occurred in helping people make a Groups composed of survivors have advantages by better adjustment to their experience. virtue of their inherent newly formed nature. The Natural and existing groups are frequently utilized more effective active intervention groupstrategies in these intervention programs. The family is often may be employed to better advantage in this par- seen in such recovery efforts, and the use ofneigh- ticular circumstance. Operating post-disaster coun- bor and friendship ties has also been incorporated in seling groups in a "neutral" setting is also reportedly group intervention strategies (Smith, 1983). How- conducive to greater success.

153 154 Community Post-Tornado Support Groups

These guidelines were combined and system- Another recurrent theme was the anxiety and fear atically followed in the groups developed following which settled in with daily life. Stimuli, however the North Carolina tornado disaster to be described remotely connected with weather, triggered unset- further in this presentation. We intend now to briefly tling worries. Adults and children alike sought the elaborate the background circumstances which led security of beifig with others. to the creation of the groups and to present a Anger, depression and guilt appeared frequently, description of the breadth of clinical issues and as did feelings of distance from those who missed themes emerging frO111 the group process structured damage. Resentment of buroaucratic slowness and in this manner. In addition, the poster session men- supposed capriciousness surfaced. tioned above, which is a companion to this presenta- Following is a categorization and description of tion, will elucidate the specific group structure, these issues and themes expressed in the support evolution, intervention techniques and evaluations groups: of the four groups. PTSD Symptoms: The 1984 Carolinas' Tornado Based on responses to symptom checklist, 2/3 of Community Crisis Group respondents endorsed symptoms consistent with Circumstances and Beginnings PTSD diagnostic criteria. Physical Issues: During the evening and late hours of March 28, 1984 a series of tornadoes coursed through South Physical injuries, insomnia, decreased appetite, Carolina and Eastern North Carolina causing "my pounding heart," weight loss/gain, headaches. traumatic personal injury, loss of life and extensive economic devastation. Directly in the path of this Emotional Issues: great crippling sweep lay small (pop. 16,117) agrar- Frustration, grief, anxiety, emotions out of control, ian Greene County, North Carolina. With surprising speed the County governing body created the crying, oversensitive, irritability, fears (especially fear of storms, being alone), feeling of not being Greene County Disaster Committee whose two paid the same, feeling something is going to happen, coordinators assessed the damage in both economic guilt/thankfulness, feeling of "I can't get over it," and human terms. Within five weeks the Disaster not feeling "at home" in new surroundings, grati- Committee convened the first community group tude for community support and people caring meeting at the county scat's extension college. Two emotional work delayed for those with especially consulting mental health personnel from adjoining Pitt County conducted proceedings for the fifty severe physical injuries. some adults and children who ventured out. Several Cognitive Issues: months later, three groups were established in the adjoining Pitt County program. Am I normal?, decreased memory and ability to concentrate, "unless you were there you can't understand," decreased ability to make decisions, Clinical Issues and Themes Expressed worry, h trd to regain interest in things, catas- trophic Winking, relating of loud noises, stonns, People who had been injured and lost loved ones or dark clouds to tornado, dread of next spring with property expressed in varied measure the tragedy approaching tornado season, social comparison, thrust in their lives. There was talk of feeling religious ideas very important for many. stunned and paralyzed at the impact and of not recognizing the severity of what had occurred. Peo- Behavioral Issues: ple wondered about their automatic actions immedi- Explicit description of tornado experience, need to ately around the event. One woman spoke of "spac- ing out" periods where time wcnt by but she tell and retell story, withdrawal, "clamming up," less effort to get out and resume activities. couldn't account for it.

154 155 Developing Support Groups for Students

Helper Issues: Heffron, E. F. (1977). Project outreach: Crisis intervention following natural disaster. Journal of Frustration, can't do enough, "wish I could do Community Psychology, 5, 103-111. more," "feels good to play Santa," counter- Lindemann, E. (1944). Symptomatology and transference. management of acute grief. American Journal of Psychiatry, 101, 141-148. Morley, W., & Brown, V. (1969). The crisis inter- Conclusions vention gmup: A natural mating or a marriage of convenience? Psychotherapy: Theory, Research The breadth and number of the disaster related and Practice, 6(1), 30-36. personal issues and themes generated in these Richard, W. C. (1974). Crisis intervention services groups seemed rather remarkable to thefacilitators. following natural disaster: The Pennsylvania Some participants progressed from a kind of initial recovery project. Journal of Community "elective mutism" to a position of being expressive Psychology, 2,211-219. of both feelings and ideas related to their disaster Robinson, G., & Campbell, E. (1976). Final report: experience. The one vehicle that almost universally Omaha tornado project. Omaha, NE. occurred with participants as they emerged from Solomon, S. D. (1985). Enhancing social support for their shell and took a position of active group mem- disaster vicdms. In B. J. Sowder (Ed.), Disasters bership was the "telling of one's story." Each person and mental health: Selected contemporary per- had a style, a pace and a content of his/her own, but spectives (pp. 107-121). Rockville, MD: National that ubiquitous catharsis distinguished virtually each Institute of Mental Health. individual's coming out of self into the group. We Smith, S. M. (1983). Disaster Family disruption in believe that the structuring of the group experience the wake of disaster. In C. R. Figley & H. I. based in part on the principles identified from McCubbin (Eds.), Stress and the family, Vol. II: several individual literature sources described above Coping with catastrophe (pp. 120-147). New and combined for use in these groups helped facili- York: Brunner/Mazel. tate the brradth and abundance of themes and issues Strickler, M., & Allgeyer, J. (1967). The crisis generated. group: A new application of crisis theory.Social Work, 12(3), 23-32. Tuchman, A. (1973). Disaster and mental health References intervention. Community Mental Health Journal, 9(2), 151-157. Caplan, C. (1964). An approach to community Zarle, T. H., Hartsough, D. M., & Ottinger, D. R. mental health. New York: Grune/Stratton. (1974). Tornado recovery: The development of a Cohen, R. E. (1985). Crisis counseling principles professional-paraprofessional response to a and services. In M. Lystad (Ed.), Innovations in disaster. Journal of Community Psychology, 2, mental health services to disaster victims 311-320. (pp. 8-17). Rockville, MD: National Institute of Mental Health. Farberow, N. (1976). Group psychotherapy for self- destructive persons. In H. Parad, H. Resnik, & L. Thomas E. Long is a professor in the Department of Parad (Eds.), Emergency and disaster manage- Psychology at East Carolina University in ment. Bowie, MD: The Charles Press. Greenville, North Carolina. Grossman, L. (1973). Train crash: Social work and Wayne C. Richard is a clinical psychologist in disaster services. Social Work, 18(5), 38-44. private practice in Nashville, Tennessee. Hart, D. (1974). Statistical tornado survey by Zenia interfaith council. Unpublished manuscript. This article is also available in the ERIC system. The ERIC Document Reproducdon Service Number is ED 283 063.

r 156 Coping With Desert Storm

Ideas for Starting and Running A Self-HelpSupport Group

Joal Fischer

WHAT IS A WHAT DO I Keep in mind that it is sometimes SELF-HELP DO TO START difficult to get unhooked. If you are unsure, do it on your own. You can GROUP? A GROUP? always hook up with an organization at a later date.

3) Think Shared Leadership A self-help group is made up of 1) Don't Re-Invent The Wheel From The Start people getting together to help each other deal with a shared concern. Consider visiting another similar Have a planning meeting with a few Run by and for the members, a group support group. Group members often can be started by anyone with a bit of others who share your interest in share ideas, formats, and energy. Call _grin (not simply joining) the courage, a sense of commitment, and the people at your local self-help a good dose of caring. group. Starting with a core group can clearinghouse. They will help you help: find other support groups and may be able to provide you with consultation * Prevent burn out WHAT CAN I DO to help you get your group started. Distribute the work of starting IN A SELF-HELP 2) Consider Hooking Up With the group GROUP? A Supportive Organization Model for others what self-help Some support groups have hooked up is all about -- it's a group (rather with an existing organization such as than individual) effort. the American Red Cross, church, Give and receive emotional synagogue, library, or military family Try to make your core group support (You aren't alone) support unit. representative of your expected membership. For suggestions on how Share information and resources These organizations are often willing to find co-leaders, see page 3 ("How (So that's where you find it!) to share resources with your group at do we get the word out?"). little or no cost. These include a Trade new ways of solving meeting place, copying equipment, 4) Remain Politically Neutral problems (It's not as hard as it refreshments, and other facilities that looks) can make your start-up much easier. War is controversial: everyone in your They may even have experience in group will have feelings for and Advocate as a group to attain starting this type of group. against this war. Remaining officially common goals (Groups do thins neutral will allow members to talk that individuals can't do alone) However, joining forces can have more openly. It is important that disadvantages. Be sure that you know members feel free to discuss their Allow yourself to have a good what the organization expects (if thoughts and feelings without fear of time (Reduce stress and anxiety) anything) from your support group. criticism.

'1 156 157 Developing Support Groups for Students

* How to be honest with your kids Use the phone network. Call when you are scared each other between meetings when you feel like it. You may How to minimize anxiety and wish to work on projects, talk destructive responses to stress about good news (such as Big Red having puppies), share Dealing with the IRS and taxes concerns, or just chat.

Sensitizing your employer to Serve as a source of information. Check out potential programs problems facing your family as a The group might work closely carefully. Be wary of "generoue result of the war with a local telephone people whose program is really information and referral source designed to sell you something. In * Learning about Arabic culture (often called First Call for Help) general, programs should appeal to to keep track of current phone the entire membership. However, if a numbers to learn about health program is aimed at part of the status of deployed individuals, membership (such as women), plan a WHAT ELSE how to get mail through, where program (for men) for the same time. CAN WE DO to find credit counseling, or Here are some ideas: where to get help with bills. AT MEETINGS? Coping with the adjustments and Be an advocate. Encourage grief that accompany separation schools to set up counseling for children. Find and list businesses that give discounts to families of Reuniting families successfully Set up a phone network. Swap (or "Now That He/She Is Home, deployed. Work with the military phone numbers with people that to iron out communication bugs. Why Isn't Everything Perfect?) you may wish to call. Assign one person to keep the name and Produce a newsletter. Print a list How to communicate with address list for important deployed individuals (such as of programs, local businesses announcements. Do not release that give discounts to military what to put in letters, how to the membership list to anyone. have enjoyable telephone families, and inspirational ideas. conversations, and how to use Have a good ti-r,e (have a cake ham or fax communication) Make concrete preparations for for everyone who has a birthday the return of the military * or special date that month, play personnel. Plan a warm welcome flow to obtain important baseball, go to a zoo). Don't be information from the military program that can include every shy--ask for a discount on returning person regardless of admission. How to set up a family btu. jet when he or she comes back. and use a checkbook Build new friendships. Dealing with holidays, birthdays, Written by Joal Fischer. A warm thank Support deployed military (write you goes to the volunteers from family and other special occasions group letters, take group support groups, civilian agencies, and pictures, record audio and branches of the military who generously Helping members of the group videotapes). gave of their time and energy to edit and whose relatives become POW's encourage. Thanks also go to theNJSelf- or MIA's, are injured, or who die Plan activities with other groups. Help Clearinghouse for inspiration and permission to reproduce certain ideas. How group members can support each othel during an We at SupportWorks welcome your illness or other crisis suggestions and comments. Production of WHAT CAN WE this pamphlet was made possible by Finding and utilizing community DO BETWEEN donations from generous individuals and businesses. resources MEETINGS? Copyright 1991 by SupportWorks (a non- * Identifying and coping with profit tax-exempt organization). Feel free family problems to make a single copy. Multiple copies may be obtained from SupportWorks, How to keep the communication * Above all, be there for each 1012 Kings Drive, Charlotte, NC 26283. lines open with your children other. 704/331-9500. 157 158 Coping With Desert Storm

3) Formal opening At subsequent meetings this time slot can be used for discussion, education, At the announced time the leader sharing, and programs (such as those calls the meeting to order. The listed on page 4). Some groups opening sets the tone for the entire alternate program meetings with meeting. Some groups open with a social or informal discussion greeting, a prayer (such as the meetings. Larger groups sometimes serenity prayer), and a listing of the break into smaller groups to work on For small groups, word of mouth is group's purposes and the meeting's projects, programs, or sharing. Make effective. Military leaders and clergy activities. Give permission for people time available at every meeting for can help you. Be sure to tell your to leave early if needed. Remember to personal sharing, but be sure to avoid friends to tell their friends. emphasize confidentiality: What You the "Pity-Party trap. Hear Here Stays Here. For !Egg groups, put announcements 6) Planning where the people you want to reach will see or hear them. Think about 4) Introductions using community calendars in This is when you plan future newspapers and on radio and W. Go around the room allowing each meetings (choosing or announcing Post flyers in post offices, churches, member to introduce himself/herself. liscussion topics, guest speakers, and supermarkets, community centers, People may also wish to share the sdecial activities). This section can be and libraries. name of (and relationship to) a very boring; make it brief by being relative or friend in the military, what organized. Remind everyone of the You may wish to consult someone brought them to this group, or what time and place of the next meeting. with publicity experience (suchas at they hope to gain from the group. your local self-help clearinghouse, 7) Formal closing newspaper, or radio or TV station). This is a good time for the leader to emphasize that everyone's anxiety At the announced time, the leader and grief is valid. Set up your group gathers the entire group to give a HOW DO WE so that it includes everyone on an predictable, consistent signal to equal basis. Some family group indicate that the meeting is over. This ORGANIZE A members may mistakenly "rank" their is when you say good-bye and let grief based on one of the following: everyone know how important they PUBLIC MEETING? are. Keep it short. Here are some * Location of service (how far from guidelines: the front, in or out of the States) Do whatever feels comfortable People coming to this meeting are * Military status (reserve or active (for example, a big group hug, a likely to be apprehensive. A more duty, deployed or non-deployed) prayer, the pledge of allegiance, highly structured format may help or a song). them feel more comfortable. Here is * Relationship to group member one suggestion: (spouse, sister, brother) * Leave on an upbeat note.

1) Preparation * Health status (healthy, injured, Be careful (especially if a prayer POW/MIA, or deceased) is used) to match the wording of It is often helpful for the leaders of the closing to the membership of the meeting to get together fora * Military rank (officer, enlisted) the group. short time to get settled in before the general membership arrives. 5) Body of meeting 8) Post-meeting review

2) Greeting At the first meeting the main topic This is a chance for the core group or will be the organization of the group. officers to review what went well and Have a person at the front door to: This is the time for the leader to what might need to be changed. Keep report on the initial suggestions of a log book of the activities of each Say hello to each person the planning committee and open the meeting. Ups and downs in Give out name tags floor for comments and additional attendance are normal; don't judge Ask everyone to sign in (name ideas. Be sure to let the members success by the number of people and phone) know that this is their group. present. Be good to yourself.

158 159 Developing Support Groups for Students

4) Set a place and time for the 10) Distribute the work first public meeting Everyone has a talent; distribute Choose a neutral, private location tasks (now and later) to help people where people will feel comfortable feel more involved in the success of sharing feelings. Consider a church, the group. Here are some jobs to do school, local Y, or community center before the first public meeting: (which may be available for free). * Finding a meeting place Your goal is to launch the group. The Avoid places which charge money first 10 tasks are usually completed (such as a restaurant). Publicizing the meeting (s) before the first public meeting. The last 3 can be done at any time. 5) Set a tentative meeting Arranging refreshments schedule 1) Define the membership Buying name tags (and a felt tip Consider meeting as often as people pen) Do you want to have families of feel the need. Some groups meet military, veterans, anyone affected by twice a month alternating social and Bringing a pad of paper and the war, or another target group? program meetings. Set an opening pencil for a name and phone list and closing time (and stick to it). Here's a hint: It may seem comforting Keep the formal meeting brief; allow Leading the first meeting at first to form a group of similar for people to "hang out" afterwards. people (such as wives of men of Here are some planning activities similar rank in the same branch of 6) Choose a meeting format which can be done now or later: service). Indeed, people with very similar backgrounds quickly form 11) Plan programs bonds of trust and are less likely to A suggested format for your public find themselves in conflict. meetings is on page 1 It is important to keep the meeting structured. Identify local professionals who would be willing to provide On the other hand, a mixed group People feel more comfortable when programs, facilitate discussions, or gives people a wider variety of they know what to expect. consult at your discretion. These perspectives. These differing points people are welcome guests at your of view can help people learn new 7) Consider whether or not to meetings. Remember: a self-help ways to solve problems. have child care group is best run by its members. Support groups run by professionals Smaller groups can often recruit a on a long-term basis are adifferent 2) Establish general goals for teenager in a family to help. Check type of group. the group with a local youth group or college child development class for 12) Think about coalitions For example, is this intended to be a volunteers. Be sure your volunteer is qualified (and the location is safe for small group of neighbors sharing Consider hooking up other similar feelings? Is it to be a larger group young children). support groups to share resources with multiple purposes? and ideas (sound familiar?). Think 8) Pick a name for the group about hooking up with a local supportive organization (see page 1). 3) List some possible activities Be sure to reflect the purpose of your group (such as Desert StormFamily 13) Consider money Choose some programs and activities Ties). Allow for changes in the which you feel would appeal to new composition of the group (such as Family groups can run on pennies. A members. Consider bringing these up when military personnel come home). sponsoring organization may provide as suggestions at the first"public" space and other resources at no group meeting. Plan ahead. For 9) Swap names and phone charge. Share the privilege of example, some groups make plans to numbers bringing refreshments or giving each help returning military feel welcome other gifts on birthdays or holidays. and to assist families adjust more Your core group is a self-help group Having substantial funds may be easily. Some ideas for programs and more of a burden than a resource. activities are listed on page 4. itself!

Reprinted with pennission from the New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse.

160 1 5 9 Desert Storm: Hints for Happy Homecomings

Joal Fischer and Deborah Langsam

Why Do I Have Mixed Feelings?

Homecomings bring out all sorts of Returning military may expect home feelings. Spouses, children, and life to be like it was prior to the war. parents are happy to have their loved They may be confused and upset by ones return. It is usually easy to the changes made in their absence. experience and share this happiness They may even wonder if they are and other "positive" feelings. really needed. The family who stayed at home may have similar feelings. However, many people are surprised by the appearance of "negative" It takes time for a family to start feelings that often accompany functioning again as a unit. This can homecomings. Anger, confusion, and be stressful and may cause conflict. anxiety are normal reactions (which Arguments may be more common; may be more difficult to acknowledge intimacy and sexual relations may be and express). strained.

For example, before the reunion a It is helpful to know that these spouse at home may resent the difficulties are normal and usually impending loss of newly gained pass. It is also helpful to talk openly freedom and independence. Family and keep a sense of humor. This members may be anxious about whether others will approve of period of renegotiation can be an decisions made during the separation. opportunity for a marriage to grow and become more solid. Why Isn't Everything Perfect Now That He/She Is Home?

The time needed to adjust to being During the war everyone dreams that together again varies from family to the return of (or to) loved ones will family. Within several weeks most mark the beginning of a perfect life. families have gradually settled into However, old family and personal routines. Some of these may be problems tend to reappear and new different from those established ones may surface. before the war.

1 0 161 Developing Support Groups for Students

Consider that counseling or therapy may be appropriate for anyof the following: 1) unusual depression or anger, 2) seldestructivebehaviors (such as drug or alcohol abuse), or 3) an unusually long period of time taken to readjust.

Parades are good public ways to let soldiers know that they are appreciated. However, these are one time events and are often planned for those who return first.

Design a welcome program to include all soldiers regardless of when (or from where) they return. Make the Yes; Support groups give people an program flexible. Some people may opportunity to learn that their be uncomfortable participating in "strange' feelings are often normal public events or may prefer a more and are shared by many others. private welcome. Consider giving every soldier a momento (such as a Support groups also give people a thank you note from a child at a local place to share resources and learn school). new ways to deal with problems (such as unemployment, drug abu.se, and domestic violence).

Speaking of support, realize that only those who have been in battle can really understand what it is like to be in the line of fire. Veterans can Above all, be good to yourselves. You provide a unique type of support for and your loved ones have been under returning military personnel. Family tremendous strain. Give yourselves (especially spouses) need not be time to heal. upset when they find out that they can't be all things to their loved ones.

Written by Jost Fischer and Deborah lAingsam. Copyright (1991) by SupportWorks (a nonprollt. tax-exempt local organization helping people find, form, and facilitate effective support groups). Feel free to make up to SO copies of this single sheet for your nonprofit group. Please let us know ifthis publication is helpful. To comment or to place a bulk order, contact SupportWorks, 1012 Kings Drive, Charlotte, NC 28283. 704/331.9500.

Joal Fischer, M.D., is a Developmental Pediatricianspecializing in wellness issues. She is also the Founder and Executive Director of SupportWorks. Deborah Langsam, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Biology at theUniversity of North Carolina at Charlotte. Reprinted with permission from the New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse.

t; 1 162 Self-HelpAnd How We Teach Tomorrow

Edward J. Madara

ARELATIVELY hidden ters, each meeting weekly. Last year grassroots movement has Parents Anonymous started an addi- grown rapidly in America tional 100 new groups just for chil- over the last decade. An dren who are or have been abused. estimated 15 million Americans are starting or joining self-help mutual Self-Help Group Likenesses aid groups in their communities to help themselves and others better There are four characteristics com- cope with particular stresses of mon to all selfhelp groups in that modern living. they are While most people know of Alco- Peer orien4dcomposed of holics Anonymous, founded in 1935, people who sha:-e a common problem few are aware of the hundreds of F-or stressful life situation. other groups that have developed for 6 e decreased avail- Mutual-aid directedsharing a wide variety of other addictions, experiences and support one to disabilities, parenting, and other ability of tradi- another. family problems. tional supports such as the Member-runtherefore more These member-run groups include extended family, neigh- responsive to munbers' needs. About those for new parents, single parents, one-third of the groups were devel- and step-parents; for parents of borhood, church, etc., has oped with the help of professionals twins, of adolescents. and of the made it necessary for who recognized the value of their handicapped; Gamblers Anonymous, being "on tap not on top." Narcotics Anonymous, and Debtors people to look to new Voluntary nonprofitcharging Anonymous; Alateen, Gamateen, and sources of support." no fees for service and only minimal children of divorced parents; for burn dues if any. victims, drunken-driver accident victims, and incest victims: for persons teenage behavior. What Does a Self-Help Group Do? with herpes, epilepsy, ann juvenile Parents Anonymouz, for parents 'arthritis; and Speak Easy for stut- who fear they may be emotionally or Groups serve at least three func- terers, Tough Love and Families physically abusing their children, hastions and in some cases a fourth. Anonymous for parents troubled by grown in one decade to 1,500 chap-

:162 163 Developing Support Groups for Students

Self-Heip Clearinghouse Nationwide They provide number of groups for families caring Supportthe comfort of knowing Beltiw is a list of clearinghouses for an elderly relative reflects the in. provided by the author. In addi- that "you are not alone" and help creasing difficulties smaller families tion, there is a national clearing- from others who "have been there." face as more adults work and a great- houseNational Self-Help Clear- er portion of the population lives Informationthe pooling of in- inghouse, 33 West 42nd Street, formation and resources by members longer. Room 1227, New York, NY 10036; The self-help trend is encouraging, for members. telephone 212-840-1259. Also, the for an increasing amount of medical Education and skill develop- U.S. Department of Health and research, often overlooked in health mentlearning from other members' Human Services (Public Health promotion, indicates that people with practical experiences and successes Service, Alcohol-Drug Abuse- supportive relationships tend to live and from professional speakers whom Mental Health Administration, longer and healthier lives. some groups are able to attract with- 5600 Fishers Lane, Rockville, MD out cost. 20857) has published a leaflet Advocacy (optional and not con- (No. ADM81-1138) "Plain Talk Tapping Self-Help Resources ducted by all groups)working for About Mutual Help Groups." Thachers can promote an increased needed changes in society (where CALIFORNIA, San Diego 619.275-2344 problems exist) more so than in CALIFORNIA, San Francisco awareness and understanding of self- themselves. 415.921.4401 help groups by CALIFORNIA, Los Angeles 213-825-5333 Integrating information on self. An important dynamic found in all CONNECTICUT, New Haven self-help groups is "helper therapy." help mutual aid group dynamics ai!ci 203-789-7645 opportunities into home economics Early research on student tutoring FLORIDA, Hillsborough 813.974-4672 and family life education curricula. programs describes the unique bene- ILLINOLS, Evanston 312.328-0470 fits the helper receives in giving help MICHIGAN, Berrien Co. 616.983.7781 Imiting representatives of self- MINNESOTA, St. Paul 612-6424060 to another, e.g. clarifying one's own help groups to speak, e.g. during NEBRASKA, 402476-9668 problem-solving methods and having drug and alcohol awareness weeks. NEW JERSEY, Denville 800-367-6274 Encouraging and helping stu- a better sense of self-worth andself- NEW YORK, Long Island 516-499-8800 deats to form self-help groups of their esteem, NEW YORK, New York City 212-8524290 Own. NEW YORK, Westchester Co. Referring students and families 914-347-3620 WhySelf-Help Groups Developed? to self-help groups. OREGON, Portland 503-222.5555 Identifying and contacting local PENNSYLVANIA. Philadelphia self-help clearinghouses for more in- The decreased availability of tradi- 215.568-0860 tional supports such as the extended PENNSYLVANIA, Scranton 717.961-1234 formation, directories, and training. family, neighborhood, church, etc., TEXAS. Dallas Co. 214.748.7825 While self-help groups are not a has made it necessary for people to WASHINGTON, D.C. 703-536.4100 panacea to solving all problems, they look to new sources of support. Self- WISCONSIN, 414461.1466 are an important new resource for help groups as support systems have helping people help themselves and been compared to extended families others through specific life problems in that they provide a caring commu- Self-HelpA Long-Term Trend and transitions. nity and help often available 24 hours a day without forms, fees, or Alvin loftier, in The Third Wave, Edward J. Madura founded in 1981 appointments. called the self-help group phenomena and directs the first computerized Self-help groups offer unique bene- a new American ethos and he coined statewide self-help clearinghouse in fits not available elsewhere. They are the word "prosumer" to descnbe the the nationNew Jersey Self-Help more accessible, found in local com- trend and its members. In the recent Clearinghouse, St. Clare's Hospital munities, and offer help without cost bestseller, Megatrends. author John Community Mental Health Center. and with anonymity if one chooses. Naisbitt highlights self-help as a Denville, New Jersey. By providing peer support, normal- "new direction transforming our Madura has developed and led ization, positive role models, and a lives." training workshops on suicide preven- more active sense of empowerment The number of groups for parents tion, single parenthood, widowhood. and control, they help in ways that of handicapped children or the chron- intergenerational communication. and traditional social services cannot. ically ill are increasing. The birth- effective pare.nting. He is a Fordham Often appropriate professional sup- rate of children with mental and University graduate in socwlogy and port services specializing in the prob- physical problems has doubled in the earned his master's degree at the lem are not available or helpful. last 25 years. An increase in the University of Missouri.

This article originally appeared in the journal What's New in Home Economics and is reprintedhere with their permission.

164 1 t; When Someone's Away

An Ongoing Support Group for Students in Grades 7 12 with Deployed Parents and Friends

Marlene L. Bowling, Carolyn S. Donges and Barbara Stock Nielsen

INTRODUCTION SUGGESTIONS FOR WORKING WITH STUDENTS DURING THE MIDDLE EAST CRISIS During the current Middle East crisis situation, some students may experience in- Activities for School Principals creased anxiety, fear, stress and depression. It is important to recognize that these behaviors are Students may experience increased anxieties and indeed directly related to the crisis situation. At this fear. These feelings may be expressed in behaviors time, students have a real need for understanding such as: and support. Also, students need to be given pennis- short attention span sion to express their feelings during this difficult increased activity levels time. tendency toward "acting out" behaviors This activity booklet has been developed to use with students in grades 7-12 who have family difficulty in concentrating members and/or close friends deployed in the easily distracted irritability, decreased productivity with class Middle East. Suggestions for work:mg with students are included as well as activities for principals, work and homework classroom teachers and guidance counselors. It is important to recognize that these txhaviors Specific suggestions on forming a support group and indicate that students need understanding and eight group sessions which can be conducted by support rather than disciplinary interventions. school counselors are included. 1. Principals should meet with the entire faculty to focus on the crisis in the Middle East. Let teachers share their feelings about the crisis. 2. The principal can divide the faculty into groups and ask them to share the following with group members:

165 E 4 Developing Support Groups for Students

Where were you when you heard the news 8. Don't be afraid to encourage a student to ask for that war had begun? help such as counseling or a support group. And How did you feel? don't be afraid to ask for help yourself. What has been the hardest part of this crisis 9. Try not to project your own feelings cthose for you? around you. Each student experiences crisis and What has been the most encouraging part of its consequences differently. Be understanding this crisis for you? of the pacc at which each student copes and heals. 3. Allow time for group members to share and 10. Don't be afraid to ask how someone is doing. then have one person from each group share his Teachers do not haNto ask for details of the or her group's discussion with the entire faculty. crisis. If the student wants to talk, listen. The 4. Encourage teachers to observe more closely best thing to do is to let the student know that those students who are already at-risk since they you are there and that you care. It is not neces- may be more susceptible to stress. sary to try to make things bttter. 5. Encourage faculty and staff to help students, especially younger students, understand that they personally are not endangered by this war. Classroom Activities Let them share facts about where the war is 1. Have students discuss reactions to the conflict occurring. in the Middle East. Divide the class into email 6. Encourage faculty and staff to identify students groups of six and share reactions with group who may need to be members of a support members. group that guidance counselors are forming in 2. Have students write about their own experi- the school and refer them to counselors. ences such as: Where were you when you heard war had Activities for Classroom Teachers begun? What has been the hardest part of this crisis General Guidelines for you? What has been the most encouraging part for 1. Encourage the student to talk to you about how you? he or she is feeling. Remind the students that What does peace mean to you? their feelings are normal. What would you say if you could write 2. Don't assume that young men handle this kind Saddam Hussein a letter? of crisis better than young women. 3. Have class discussions around the issues in the 3. Do not attempt to reassure the student that Middle East and possible solutions. everything will be ok. Everything is not ok. 4. Have students brainstorm their own plans for 4. Do not attempt to impose your explanation on resolution of the conflict as well as resolution of why this has happened to the student. their own stress. 5. Do not tell thP student that you know how she 5. Encourage students to devziop projects that or he feels. You don't. Often such attempts are show support for our troops in the Middle East, really aimed at relieving your own anxiety such as: about how you feel about what has happened to the student. Writing letters to government officials 6. Encourage students to share their feelings with and/or service personnel in the Persian Gulf their family. region. 7. Teachers may want to report any unusual Having the class come up with things they behaviors that might be interfering with the can do to help families in their community/ students' daily routine. school who have family members in the

166 165 When Someone's Away

Middle East, i.e., sending cards, volunteer- 4. The names of students should be forwarded to ing time for helping with household mainte- the guidance counselor who would then nance or abysitting, providing transporta- determine how many students were interested in tion; cooking a meal or helping with a meal. the support groups. 6. Integrate the Middle East crisis issue into 5. The guidance counselor should contact students academics at times. For instance, in English, to let them know about the time and place of the support group meetings. essays or short stories may be written about one of the issues involved in the crisis. In science or 6. Counselors should communicate to the faculty math students could discuss missile and target and staff the meeting times and place of the trajectory, mapping skills, differences between support groups. chemical or biological warfart and treatment. 7. The school should make parental contact to 7. Remain sensitive to the fact that some students inform parents/guardians about the support have family members directly involved in groups and ask parents to encourage their conflict in the Middle East. Show special child's participation. understanding and concern for their needs at 8. The support groups should meet with the coun- this time and keep an optimistic outlook. It will selor once a week during the school day to give benefit your students and their performance. ongoing support to all students involved. 8. Refer students who have family members or close friends in the Middle East to the guidance counselor to become members of a support SUPPORT GROUP Svql[CoNS FOR group. GUIDANCE COUNSELORS To the Counselor Starting a Support Group 1. Each session is designed with the following At this time of crisis in the Middle East, it is impor- objectives: tant that students express and share their feelings The student will be able to identify and about the crisis. To help facilitate this, many coun- express feelings about deployed parents/ selors are beginning or have already begun to form friends involved in the Persian Gulf. support groups for students who have family mem- The student will be able to identify and bers or close friends involved in the crisis in the express the significant losses experienced by Middle East. Also, individual conferencing ca.i a prson having a deployed parent/friend. occur as follow-up to the small group sessions. The student will be able to identify and learn The following are some suggestions for starting a to practice coping skills which relieve support group in schools: separation anxiety. The student will be able to identify the ways I.Counselors should share with faculty and staff the importance of starting support groups in one can grow through a crisis situation. their school. 2. The questions in each session are structured 2. Classroom teachers should tell students that the with the underlying premise that students are counselors will be starting support groups in the involved in experiencing the grief process. school. 3. Students wanting to be a part of the suppo-t St,ge and Behavior Exhibited groups should write their name and the rela- Shock and Denial: tionship o; the family or friend deployed in the Middle East on a piece of paper. Counselors unable to concentrate may want to prepare a form to give out to class- preoccupied room teachers that students could complete. Fear and Anxiety:

166 167 Developing Support Groups for Students

afraid of being safe 7. Each student should give the name ofthe worries over insignificant things relative or friend they have in Saudi Arabia and the relationship they have with that person. If Anger and Guilt: they know their military job, share this also. anger at parents being away 8. Each student can share the mason they wanted anger at changes in the home to be in a support group. guilt over having angry feelings at parent 9. The counselor may close the session by sum- (especially if occurred before parent left) marizing the students' feelings. Each session should end on a positive note with positive Sadness and Depression: things shared about the session. feels sad and lonely over losses 10. Counselors should encourage students to bring feels helpless to do anything about the losses news, pictures, letters, poems oranything Acceptance: personal they would like to share with the group about their loved one. The counselor can start able to cope off each session with a sharing time. Some able to concentrate students may hear from their loved ones more feels hopeful often than others, depending on the various jobs 3. While the questions in each session are struc- they do. It is not necessary for students tobring tured to move students to deeper levels of something to share each time. sharing, the counselor may feel free to spend several sessions on one set of questions. Session Questions 1. When did your family member or friend go to First Session Saudi Arabia and how did you hear the news that they were going? General Guidelines 2 What were your feelings as they weretelling you this news? 1. The counselor should start the session bystating 3. As you heard the news of their leaving,what the purpose of the support group. The purpose did they say or do that scared or frightened you of the group is for students to have a specific about the situation? time and place set aside to share theirfeelings 4. What did they so or do that reassured you or and concerns about the events taking placein made you feel better about the situation? the Middle East. Once these feelings areshared, the students will be better able to go back into the classroom and focus on their school work. Second Session 2. The counselor should stress the importanceof confidentiality. General Guidelines 3.If any student has a particular concern that they do not wish to share in the group, they may 1.If new students are present, the counselor may request an individual counselingsession. need to have everyone introducethemselves 4. The counselor should express the importanceof again and tell the relationship of friend or everyone sharing in the group. relative in the Middle East. 5. In order to be heard, only one person maytalk 2. At the beginning of each session, the counselor at a time. should allow time for students to share any new 6. The counselor may begin the sessionby going event that has happened since the lastsession around the group and having students introduce took place. themselves. 3. Counselor ends with a summary offeelings as positive, encouraging remarks.

168 167 When Someone's Away

Session Questions 6. How do you feel about being at school with a war going on? 1. Where were you and what were you doing 7. Do you feel safe being in the United States? when you first heard the news that the war had 8. What are some things you can do or think about started? to make yourself feel safe? 2. How did your family members react when they heard the news? 3. What was the first thing you thought about Fourth Session when you realized there actually was fighting? 4. What scares you the most about this war? 5. What do you do when thinking about the war General Guidelines becomes scary? 1. Display a map of the world. Have students draw 6. What is the most encouraging part about all of a line showing how far It is from home to Saudi this? Arabia. Remind them that this is also the way 7.If you could have one wish right now what back home. would that be? 2. At the beginning of each session the counselor 8. What can we do in this group to make each should allow time for students to share any new other feel better? (Speak and smile at each other event that has happened since the last session in hall and classroom, give peace sign, make took place. yellow ribbons or some mementos to wear as group members.) Session Questions 1. How is having a military job different from Third Session having a regular job? 2. How do you feel about the military now that we General Guidelines have gone to war? President Bush? Saddam Hussein? 1. Counselor might want to suggest that students 3. How does it make you feel when you hear that bring a poem, story or song that gives them some people do not support the war? comfort or makes them feel good during this 4. What would you like to say to those people? time of crisis. 5. How do you feel about your relative or parent 2. At the beginning of each session the counselor being away so long? should allow time for students to share any new 6. Do you ever feel angry toward your relative or event that has happened since the last session friend for not being here when you need them? took place. 7. What do you do to help yourself when you ate angry about the war? (Brainstorm with kids Session Questions constructive ways to express their anger.) 1. How has the crisis in the gulf changed your family, friends etc.? Fifth Session 2. How do you feel about these changes? 3. Have your duties and chores changed at home since your relative was deployed? General Guidelines 4. What is one change you don t like? What is one 1. Suggest making a notebook of things.to remem- change that you do like? ber that they can share with friend or relative on 5. How has the crisis is the Persian Gulf changed their return. you?

168 169 Developing Support Groups for Students

2. At the beginning of each session thecounselor 4. How can you tell when peoplearound you are should allow time for students to share any new sad? event that has happetml since the lastsession 5. How would life change for you if yourrelative took place. or friend was killed? 6.If your friend or relative died in the war, what are some things that youwould need to do to Session Questions keep going in life? 1. In what ways do you feel differentlyabout your 7. What would you need for this group todo for relative or friend since they left for Saudi you if you lost someone in the war? Arabia? 2.If you could change something that yousaid or did before your relative or friend left, what Seventh Session would that be? 3. If you could say one thing to yourrelative or General Guidelines friend about how you feel about them, what would you say? 1.Students may want to bring a record or song to 4. How do you think they would feelabout what play that makes them feel peaceful during this you said? time of crisis. 5.If you cannot reach your friend orrelative to 2. At the beginning of each session the counselor sham this information what can you thinkabout should allow time for students to share any new or remember to make youfeel better until you event that has happened sincethe last session can. took place. 6. Think about a special time you shared with your parent or relative. Share this with the group. Session Questions 7. What are some other ways you can express your relative love for this person'? 1. What do you love the most about your or friend who is deployed? 2. What do you do when you are at homealone Sixth Session and feel really sad and depressed? What helps when you feel this way? 3. Who is someone you can call or write towhen General Guidelines you feel this way? 1. Make a calendar to show how long your parent 4. How has this crisis made thingsdifficult for or friend might he gone. your family? 2. At the beginning of each session thecounselor 5. In Alai ways are we closer becauseof this should allow time for students to share any new crisis? event that has happened since the lastsession 6. How has this crisis made you a strongerperson? took place. Eighth Session Session Questions 1. How do you feel when you hear on TVthat General Guidelines Americans are dying in the war? 2. What would it be like for you if yourrelative or 1. Keep a notebook or scrapbook of events or friend is killed? things that have happened to you while your relative is away. You can share these when they 3.If your relative or friend is killed you would probably be sad, what do you do when you are return. sad?

170 When Someone's Away

2. At the beginning of each session the counselor Myrick, R., & Ernez, T. Youth helping youth (A should allow time for students to sham any new handbook for training peer facilitators). event that has happened since the last session Minneapolis, MN: Educational Media Corpora- took place. tion. Ragonzeos, B. (1987). The grieving student in the Session Questions classroom (Guidelines and suggestions for classroom teachers and school personnel of grades 1. What are some of the good things that are K-12). Hospice of Lancaster County. happening in the world as a result of this crisis? Robinson, E. H., Rona, J. D., Fey, M. A., & Vogel, 2. Sham one good thing that has happened in your K. R. (1990). Coping with fears and stress (An family since the crisis. activity guide for grades K-8). Distributed by 3. Sham how this experience is making you grow. South Carolina Department of Education. 4. How has this experientx in the group caused Schaefer, D., & Lyons, C. (1986). How do we tell you to grow? the children? (A parent's guide to helping children 5.If there is one thing you could say that has understand and cope when someone dies). New surprised you about this group, what would that York: New Market Pmss. be?

Resources Marlene L. Bowling is a consultant on elementary and middle school guidance for the South Carolina Bernstein, J. E. Books to help children cope with Department of Education in Colwnbia. separation and loss. New York. R. R. Bowker Carolyn S. Donges is a consultant on secondary Company. guidance for the South Carolina Department of Johnson, K. Trauma in the lives of children. CA: Education in Columbia. Hunter House Publishing. Murphy, J., Matthews, V. J., & Colwell, N. K. Barbara Stock Nielsen LE State Superintendent of the (1990). Parents away group (An Ongoing Support South Carolina Department of Education in Columbia. Group for Children in Grades K-6 with Deployed Parents). Distributed by the South Carolina This article is reprinted here with permission from Department of Education. the South Carolina Department of Education.

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171 MODULE 4

DESIGNINGANDIMPLEMENTING STUDENT SUPPORT PROGRAMS

by Garry R. Wa lz

is the extent to which a school student support program operates in a coherent and professionally sound way. Chasing every new idea that promises help for students is no more likely to be productive than chasing windmills. Programs should be designed and customized to fit the unique circumstances of each school. However unique a school system is, however, it will profit in its program development from building upon a cluster of time- and experience-validated principles. The following principles represent a synthesis of the ideas and experiences of a large number of Introduction student support program builders and implementers. It will be most helpful if used as a guide to thinking Areview of the resources contained in about and planning for the program rather than Modules 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6 will convince most determining what the program should be. persons that whether their need is for specific practices, step-by-step program development guidelines, or conceptual foundations, these Student Support Program Knowledge modules will fill it. The materials offered herein are Generalizations notable for their sound ccnceptual foundations, specific programs and practices, and excellent ideas I. Be clear on your goals and objectives. A and resources. In addition, all program and practice program design or intervention technique is no recommendations have been tested in the field. How better than the use for which it is intended. Many the ideas and resources are used depends to a great programs adopted are adapted and implemented in extent on what the user needs and wants. These are panic which frequently leads to highly unsatis- good resources and using them will bring positive factory results. The overall program should be results. consistent with available resources andimpor- Of particular importance to student outcomes and tantly!the interests of the people involved in school and community satisffiction with the program making it possible. Staff interest may be high, but if

BEST COPYAVAILABLE 171 173 Developing Support Groups for Students

student interest is lacking, something is amiss. Go program. As outsiders, they possesscertain advan- back to the drawing board and see whatnegative tagesobjectivity, neutrality, specialized skill connotations have developed regarding the program. over internal staff in some areas. Awise program 2. Emphasize prevention as well as crisis staff will clearly see the desirability of seeking intervention. Frequently, it is a major crisis or outside help as a way of enhancing the skills avail- calamity which is responsible for a student support able to the program as well as broadening the base program being initiateddeath of astudent, for of community support for the program. example, or a devastating storm. After the initial 5. Search ERIC for program and practice crisis has been met, a major question remains as to innovations. The type and number of support whether to apply the insights and understandings progams is gmwing at such a rapid ratethat worthy gained from the crisis intervention to an ongoing new ideas and approaches areregularly finding their program designed to build greatercoping skills. In way into documents and journalsindexed by ERIC. many ways, the best crisis programis a good A regular schedule for searching both RIE and CIJE preventive program. Identifying past and potential in the ERIC database (particularly with a user future crises can be a useful guide in establishing the friendly approach such as the CD-ROM Silver agenda for a prevention-focused, student skill- Platter) can keep a program alive, even exciting, building program. through the infusion of new ideas and approaches 3. Be eclecticcombine the best featuresof gleaned from the ERIC search. Regular searching self-help support programs, skill development can underwrite a highly worthygoalcontinuous programs aimed at prevention,and crisis pre,lam improvement. intervention practices. Many designs and models 6. Systematically assess student and staff out- exist for helping students to cope more adequately comes. The support group literatureis filled with with the crises and challenges they face on an glowkng testimonials regarding the inherent worth of almost daily basis. The best and mosthelpful each group, but data to support the enthusiasm is ptograms are those that weave togetherthe special hard to find. A staff need not labor over developing strengths of different approaches. The student self- an exotic research design.Something in the way of help support program is notable for the interest and sound research is better than nothing. Identifying the enthusiasm it develops among its members; group extent to which you have been able toachieve a counseling under the leadership of a skillful coun- 90% or better response from students attesting to selor can assist members to acquire specificand their increased time devoted to studying as a result highly relevant and useful skills, e.g., conflict of reduced trauma can be very useful data. If a resolution, stress reduction, and densensitization; program is worth doing it is worthdetermining how and crisis intervention procedures can vividly effective it is. demonstrate how quickly a volatile and damaging 7. Work towards building a comprehensive situation can be turned around into positive and program of support services andpractices. A constructive group behavior. A real synergism can temptation exists having started one type of probe achieved by piecing together a varietyof gram, e.g., student self-support groups ondrug practices that are mutually reinforcing. abuse, to emphasize it to the exclusion of all other 4. Utilize the full resources of the school staff types of programs. Frequently thisoveremphasis on and the community. Within each school are an one type of program can be traced tothe lack of a abundance of people who can help to promote the comprehensive plan identifying what the school program goals and objectives. Music, art,writing, wants to happen and what the school wants toavoid and drama provide unique and excellent oppor- happening. The comprehensive plan that includes tunities to involve school staff with different the thoughts and ideas of students, staff and com- specialities to help students examine their feelings munity members can be a powerful tool for building and consider their options. Usually the more severe a clear vision of desired outcomesand for obtaining the crisis the more able and willing important com- the requisite staff and resources to make it happen. munity resource people are to contribute to a school

172 174 MODULE 4: Designing and Implementing Student Support Programs

8. Use past group members as support group exists for a local support group to link with a nation- advisors and facilitators. The previously referred al group or organization. Such a move increases the to acquisition of "helper skills" by group members resources available to the group but may reduce the frequently motivates them to be involved in related flexibility and freedom of the group. The decision to group activities after the formal disbanding of a join should be carefully reviewed on a regular basis. "crisis gmup." Their peer identity, and high motiva- Since withdrawal from the larger organization may tion and interest typically predispose them to be be difficult, it is wise to explore other similar groups highly contributive to new support groups. Their before committing to join. skillful performance in groups also provides a useful 11. Remember the importance of self-help model of group leadership and behavior. support group members determining their own 9. Provide opportunities for group training agenda. A formal structure and externally imposed and skill development. Many groups begin their rules and guidelines are usually contraindicated in existence with members "rapping" and sharing. The effective support group performance. The freedom opportunity for each participant to tell his/her to control their own agenda is a key determinant of "story" is of paramount importance. After this initial group success. This freedom needs to be protected phase of sharing feelings and personal experiences, and preserved. Well intentioned professional med- groups are usually ready to move to another level, dling can retard an otherwise spontaneous and e.g., to develop proactive skills in minimizing stress. rewarding group climate. Moving on to new and challenging tasks is impor- 12. Innovate, innovate and innovate!!! It is tant if the group is to meet more than the immediate wonderful and enjoyable to acknowledge that those emodonal needs of its members. The group sharing student support groups which regularly experiment provides an excellent roster of needs which the with and explore new ideas and approaches are group can prioritize and then seek appropriate those that benefit their members the most. There resource people. Through taking on new and more really isn't a rule book to be followed. Be willing to difficult challenges, the group maintains its verve try interesting and attractive new ideas. What the and freshness and continues to benefit the members. group may lose in temporary confusion, they will 10. Give consideration to linking and network- more than make up for in the reward of discovering ing with national support groups. The opportunity new insights.

173 175 MODULE 5

ABSTRACTSOFSIGNIFICANT RESOURCES

needs and interests, a four-part classification code has been provided at the end of each title. The classification code will assist users in focusing their search on the major areas of their inquiry. A given entry may, depending upon coverage, have one or more classification codes. Reading the short anno- tation provided with each title will further assist the user in refining their search for and identification of the most relevant documents. The major classification codes are: =War related, particularly support group litera- Introduction ture generated in response to Desert Storm. G =Grief or stress caused by sudden loss of a significant other or stressful event. This section contains more than 50 judiciously s =Design and function of support groups selected resources relevant to responding to created to manage stress and behavioral student fears and crises. They have been dysfumtion. carefully selected to help in understanding student D =Consequences of natural disasters (tornadoes) fears and developing appropriate interventions and or accidental events (plane or car crashes) student self-help support groups. The resources vary and strategies for responding to them. from short, helpful handouts to scholarly and research-oriented papers which attempt to get Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists Offer HO) to beneath the turmoil of immediate events and identi- Parerts Regarding Children's Fears about the fy responses and interventions which cut across Gulf War (News Release) (W) specific triggering crises and calamities. Included by American Academy of Child and Adolescent here are ERIC documents and journal articles Psychiatry carefully culled from an intensive search of ERIC January 22,1991 (including both documents from Resources in Source: American Academy of Child and Adoles- Education IRIE] and Cumulative Index to Journals cent Psychiatry, 3615 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., in Education [CIJE]. Information is also provided ai Washington, DC 20016, (202) 966-7300 the end of thk section on how to obtain the docu- Offers parents suggestions on how to respond to ments and journal articles listed herein. To aid in the their children's questions and fears about the Gulf retrieval of materials most appropriate to a user's War. Includes warning signs of more serious

BEST COPY AVAILABLE 174 177 Developing Support Groups for Students emotional problems that should be assessed by a five in helping other students understand the prob- mental health professional. lems and concerns children lace when parents are deployed. Children who Grieve and Workbook (G, S) by Roberta Beckman Coping with Desert Storm: Ideas for Starting 80 pgs., 1990 and Running a Self-Help Support Group (S,W) Source: Mar Co Products, 1-800-448-2197,$21.95 by Joal Fischer 4 pgs., 1991 Provides counselors with a manual and activity Source: SupportWorks, 1012 Kings Dr., Charlotte, workbook for working with students, grades 3-12, NC 28283, (704) 331-9500, free withself- on death and grieving issues. addressed, stamped envelope. Describes how to establish a self-help group around Colwell Counsels Kids Whose Parents are in the any topic. Includes how toestablish goals, select Gulf (W) leaders, and plan meetings. An informational by Surabhi Avasthi brochure called You Don't Have To Do It All Alone, Journal: Guideposts, vol. 33, no. 13, March 14, about Support Works and the assistance it can pro- 1991 vide in locating or starting self-help groupsis also Publisher: American Association for Counseling available free of charge. and Development, 5999 Stevenson Ave., Alexandria, VA 22304, 1-800-545-AACD Coping with Disaster: A Reference Guide for Describes Gulf War support group for elementary Teachers Pre-School through High School (D) school children with family members deployed by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA overseas developed by NormaColwell, an elemen- 54 pgs., 1989 tary school counselor at FortJackson Army Training Source: Project Cope, 1060 Emeline Ave., Base iiFt. Jackson, SC. Ms. Colwell's approach, P.O. Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-0962 published in her book While You' re Away, uses a variety of activities to help children work through Written after the October 17, 1989 earthquakein infor- their feelings. California, this guide provides teachers with mation and classroom suggestions that pertain to special problems that occur following a disaster.It Coping for Kids (G) describes typical reactions of children following a by Herzfeld, G. et al. disaster, considers referral of children to mental 202 pg. workbook, 2 audio cassette tapes health professionals, and suggests classroom activi- 1986 ties. A parent handout on earthquake proofingone's Publisher: Pmntice Hall Publishers, Book house and family and a book list of storiesabout Distribution Center, 110 Brookhill Dr., West Nyack, disasters and survival are included. NY 10995-9920, (201) 767-5937, $54.95/kit A complete stress control program for students aged Coping with the Stress of Deployment (W) 8-18. by Margaret Tippy Publication: Hospital Heartbeat, publication of Public Affairs Office, Womack Army Community Coping with Deployment Kit (W) Hospital, vol. 1, no. 3, Oct. 25, 1990 by Sherry Leonard Source: Margaret Tippy, Director, PublicAffairs 1991 Office, Womack Army Community Hospital, Source: Mar Co Products, P.O. Box 1052, Doylestown, PA 18901, 1-800-448-2197, $7.95 Ft. Bragg, NC 28307, (919) 432-6226 those Contains two story books, My Dad is Deployed and Describes effects of sudden deployment for deployed and their families. Gives tips oncoping My Mom is Deployed, an activity book, andboard game to assist students indealing with the absence with the stress of separation. Provides local numbers of pamnts deployed by the Gulf War. lt is also effec- of agencies who can help.

178 1 i Module5: Abstracts of SignIficant Resources

Counseling Youngsters for Stress Management Of most use to school administrators, this guide (An ERICICAPS digest) (G) describes forms of school crises and presents a by Deborah Herbert policy framework for two strategies of crisis 2 pgs., 1983 management. Provides field-based guidelines for Source: ERIC/CAPS Clearinghouse, 2108 SEB, effective and responsible crisis management. The University of Michigan. Ann Arbor, MI 48109- 1259, free ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. Daddy's Days Away: A Deployment Activity ED 287 139 Book for Parents and Children (W) by The Family Programs Branch Headquarters, U.S. Discusses stress in children and adolescents. In- Marine Corps cludes descriptions of a relaxation training program 129 pgs., 1986 and a sample stress management model for sec- Source: Commandant of the Marine Corps, ondary school students. Headquarters U.S. Marines, Family Programs Branch (MHF), Washington, DC 20380-0001, 1- Couples and Disaster Recovery (D) 703-696-2046/2047/2048, fret by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA This book explains to children what is happening 4 pgs., 1989 when dad is "deployed" overseas. Also included arc Source: Project COPE, 1060 Emeline Ave., ideas for what to do before dad leaves, after he is P.O. Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-0962 gone, and when he returns. One of several booklets written after the October 17, 1989 earthquake in California, this pamphlet iden- Deseri Storm: Hints for Happy tifies signs and reactions that are typical ways that Homecomings (W) couples respond to major natural/social disasters. by Joal Fischer and Deborah Langsam Also included is a list of suggestions on how indi- 1 pg., 1991 viduals and couples can help themselves get over the Source: SupportWorks, 1012 Kings Dr., Charlotte, psychic trauma which accompanies natural disasters. NC 28283, (704) 331-9500, free with self- addressed, stamped envelope Crisis Intervention with Military Families (W) Answers common concerns expressed by families of by Office of the Assist. Secretary of Defense for deployed military personnel including coping with Force Management & Personnel ambivalent feelings, maintaining family cohesion, 62 pgs., January 30, 1991 and how a support group can help. Source: Military Family Information Clearinghouse, 1-800-336-4592 Disaster Work and Mental Health: Prevention Reviews emotional response of families of service and Control of Stress Among Workers (D, 0) members who are deployed during the phases of by Don M. Hartsough and Diane Garaventa Myers deployment. Lists specific military and civilian 156 pgs., 1985 resources available to military families and to ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. families of national guard members. ED 277 919 (see related document ED 277 920) Provides background and intervention information Crisis Management in the Schools: New Aspects on psychological stress experienced by disaster of Professionalism (D) workers. Of interest to school personnel are sections by Bijaya K. Shrestha dealing with organizational stressors, specific stress- Journal: OSSC Bulletin, vol. 34, no. 2, October 1990 reducing exercises, a self 'analysis well-being pro- 32 pgs. file, and a final appendix of audiovisual and printed ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. materials on stress management. ED 324 809

176 179 Developing Support Groups for Students

Don't Forget to Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around Self 1976 (Guest Editorial) (W) Publisher: The Charles Press Publishers, Inc., by David P. Niles Bowie, MD Journal: Guideposts, vol. 33, no. 13, March 14, Chapter 25 explores the psychological effects of the 1991 1972 Buffalo Creek, West Virginia flood. Identifies Publisher: American Association for Counseling five general characteristics of disasters (suddenness, and Development, 5999 Stevenson Ave., human callousness in causation, continuing relation- Alexandria, VA 22304, 1-800-545-AACD. ship of survivors to the disaster, isolation of the Describes causes and symptoms of post-traumatic community, and totality of influence), all of which stress disorder and gives suggestions onhow to were present in the Buffalo Croekdisaster. Explains assist students and family members with this the uniqueness of the Buffalo Creek flood. Explores disonier. Advises that although the Middle East con- the "survivor syndrome" and considers the impres- flict may be the triggering event, the root of the dis- sive number of pychiatric conditions found in order can be in prior experiences, i.e., the Vietnam Buffalo Croek survivors. War or episodes of family violence. Dr. Niles, Chapter 30 describes the response made to the Director of the Trauma Recovery and Counseling Monticello, Indiana tornado of 1974 by mental Center, has authored other articles on post-tramatic health and crisis intervention resources originating stress disorder and may be contactedthrough the from outside the immediate disaster area. Explores Trauma Recovery and Counseling Center, 5999 problems unique to formulating a disaster recovery Stevenson Ave., Alexandria, VA 22304, (703) 823- plan for a community without its own mental health 6102. system. A brief manual for paraprofessionaldisaster recovery workers is included. Majorfocus is on an Earthquake Anxiety: Dealing with the outreach approached based on crisis intervention. Psychological Aftershocks (D) by Los Angeles County Psychological Association Facts for Families (G, S, D) 4 pgs. by American Academy of Child and Adolescent Source: Los Angeles County Psychological Psychiatry Association, 17323 Ventura Blvd., Suite 200 B, 1990-1991 Encino, CA 91316, (818) 905-0410 Source: American Academy of Child and Describes common reactions people have to earth- Adolescent Psychiatry, 3615 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., quakes and provides effective coping strategies. Washington, DC 20016, (202) 966-7300 Gives addresses of other organizations in the Los "Facts for Families" is a series of 36 one-page fact Angeles area that provide information or -fthquake sheets on a variety of mental health topics. Specific safety. fact sheets of interest to disaster/support topic are: "Helping Children After A Disaster," "The Educators Helping Students Come to Grips Depressed Child," "Children and Grief," "Being With War (W) Prepared," and "Children's Sleep Problems." Single by Ann Bradley and Debra Viadero copies of specific fact sheets are available for free Journal: Education Week, vol. 10, no. 18, with inclusion of a self-addressed, stamped January 23, 1991 envelope. Describes students' fearful fantasies about theGulf War and the effectiveness of teacher-leaddiscus- Family Support for Desert Shield Remains High sions in replacing fantasies with more realistic Priority (W, S) images. Cites efforts by different school systems to by Military Family Resource Center help children cope with the Gulf War crisis. Journal: Military Family, December 1990 Source: Military Family Resource Center, Ballston Centre Tower 11lire, Suite 903, 4015 Wilson Blvd., Emergency and Disaster Management: A Mental Arlington, VA 22203-5190 Health Sourcebook (D,G) by Howard J. Parad, et al., editors

180 Module 5: Abstracts of Significant Resources

Describes development of family support centers Source: Project COPE, 1060 Emeline Ave., within the armed forces and what assistance those P.O. Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-0962 organizations offer to service personnel and their families. Mentions the Resource Clearinghouse and One of several brochures written after the October the Reseach Clearinghouse as good sources of 17, 1989 earthquake in California, this pamphlet information on military family issues. offers parents suggestions on how they can help their family recover from the effects of a disaster. Included are lists of how children may act after a The Grieving Student in the Classroom (G) disaster and of how parents can help children cope by Bobbe Ragouzeos with their feelings. 20 pgs., 1987 Source: Hospice of Lancaster County, P.O. Box 5179, Lancaster, PA 17601, (717) 569-3900, $3.50 Helping Clients Manage Stress: A Practical (includes postage) Approach (G) by Dennis Sparks Gives guidelines and suggestions for classroom 48 pgs., 1981 teachers and school personnel assisting bereaved Source: ERIC Document Reproduction Service, students. Includes section on suicide and a checklist 7420 Fullerton Road, Suite 110, Springfield, of personal feelings about death. Virginia 22153-2852 ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 195 923 Gulf War: AACD Leaders Urge Members to Respond (W) Describes strategies that will help persons to iden- by Surabhi Avasthi tify causes and methods for reducing distress. Journal: Guideposts, vol. 33, no. 11, February 7, Identifies an optimistic lifestyle approach for 1991 helping professionals. Publisher: American Association for Counseling and Development, 5999 Stevenson Ave., Helping Gifted Students With Stress Alexandria, VA 22304, 1-800-545-AACD Management (An ERIC/EC Digest) (G) Chair of AACD's Disaster Preparedness Task Force by ERIC Clearinghouse on Handicapped and Gifted describes ways in which AACD members can help Childien people cope more effectively with Gulf War related 2 pgs., 1990 anxieties. Source: The Council for Exceptional Children, 1920 Association Drive, Reston, VA 22091-1589 ERIC Document Repnxiuction Service No. Handbook for Mental Health Care of Disaster ED 321 493 Victims (D) by Raquel E. Cohen and Frederick L. Ahearn, Jr.. Overview of how stress can affect gifted students. 1980 Includes discussion of the effect of stress on self- Publisher: The Johns Hopkins Press, Baltimore esteem, how to cope with stress, and how to tell when a gifted student is experiencing burnout. Designed as a handbook to assist mental health administrators and practitioners in designing and implementing effective mental health services for Helping Students Cope With Fears and Stress disaster victims. Of particular interest to school per- (W, G, S, D) sonnel are sections dealing with disaster-related by Edward Robinson, Joseph C. Rotter, Mary Ann behavior and post-disaster psychological interven- Fey, and Kenneth R. Vogel tions. Approx. 90 pgs Source: Available in early 1992 from ERIC/CAPS Clearinghouse, 2108 School of Education, The Helping Children Cope with Disaster (D) University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI 48109- by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA 1259. For price information call ERIC/CAPS at 4 pgs., 1989 (313) 764-942.

178 181 Developing Support Groups for Students

An activity gteisle to be used by teachers, counselors Innovations in Mental Health Services to Disaster and administrators in elementary and middle Victims (see related document ED 277 919) (D) schools. Includes activities that complement the by Mary Lystad, ed. various curricular areas of a typical elementary or 168 pgs., 1985 middle school and which can be integrated into ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. normal instruction without the disruption that a ED 277 920 separate "unit" on fears or stress would entail.Each Provides overview of conceptual, programmatic, activity includes the curricular areas into which it is and educational developments in mental health suitable, and the approximate time necessary for its services to disaster victims. Of particular interest to completion. school personnel are sections dealing with common feelings and reactions during and after a disaster, Helping Students Cope With Fears and Stress stress reduction techniques, suggestions for parents (Trainer's Guide) (W, G, S, D) on how to assist childrenin coping with a disaster, by Edward Robinson, Joseph C. Rotter, Mary Ann and special programs for children, including an Fey, and Kenneth R. Vogel example of disaster-related coloring book developed Approx. 70 pgs. by the Kiwanis Club of Coalinga. Also includes an Source: Available in early 1992 from ERIC/CAPS annotated bibliography of reference materials for Clearinghouse, 2108 School of Education, The disaster victims and workers. University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI 48109- 1259. For price information call ERIC/CAPS at Introducing and Tapping Self-Help Mutual Aid (313) 764-9492. Resources (S) An eight-session trainer's guide that can accom- by Catherine J. Paskert and Edward J. Madara modate different training configurations. For Jourral: Health Education, vol. 16, no. 4, Aug/Sept example, the one and one-half hour sessions can be 1985 delivered in a two-day format or after school over an Describes the growing popularity and value of self- extended period of time. Examples of session topics help groups. Explains the variety of needs groups include "Primary Prevention," "Helping High Risk serve and their differing approaches.Lists Self-Help Children" and "Stress/Fear and the Family." Clearinghouses throughout the country.

High Anxiety (Life in the Times Feature) (W) Joy of Sorrow (G) by Karen Jowers by Mary Joe Hannaford Journal: Army, Navy, or Air Force Times, 71 pgs., 1983 February i8, 1991 issue Source: Mar Co Products, 1-800-448-2197, $7.95 Publisher: Army limes Publishing Co., Springfield, VA 22159-0200, (703) 750-8600 Describes the grief stages and emphasizes them through poetry and quotation for use with students Gives tips on how to manage stress created by grades 6-adult. Appendix offers plans for individual family separations during the Gulf War. Describes counseling or small group work signs of stress ui

Leading a Friends Helping Friends Peer Ideas for Making Desert Storm Separation Program and Friends Helping Friends: A Manual Easier for Families (W) for Peer Counselors (S) by Office of Family Policy, Support and Services by Carol Painter 2 pgs., 1990 / 136 pgs. and 216 pgs., 1989 Source: Office of Family Policy, Support and Source: Educational Media Corporation Services, 4015 Wilson Blvd.,Suite 917, Arlington, (publishers). Also available from ERIC/CAPS VA 22203, (703) 696-4555 Clearinghouse, (313) 764-9492, $18.90/set of two Lists ideas for items to send to family members Provides a guide for the adult leader and a training overseas. Encourages spouses to serve as a support manual for student peer counselors to help them to one another.

182 Module 5: Abstracts of Significant Resources

develop peer counseling skills. Describes applica- "feelings and behaviors that affect the child's tion of these skills to a variety of issues including adjustment to parent absence." suicide and grief. My CoUrtry Went to War ( Manual for Child Health Workers in Major by Joann Cooper Disasters (D, G) 1991 Author: National Institute of Mental Health, Source: Mar Co Products, P.O. Box 1051, Rockville, MD Doylestown, PA 18901, 1-800-448-2197, $7.95 106 pgs.,1981 Source: NIMI-1 'Worn 18-105, 5600 Fishers Lane, Contains a story book with activity sheets and board Rockville, MD 20857, (301) 443-3728, single game to help students express their feelings and copies free fears about the war. Manual describing organizational procedures and interventions for use by child mental health workers My Desert Storm Workbook: First Aid for during major disasters. Feelings (W) by National Childhood Grief Institute 22 pgs., 1991 Mental Health Response to Mass Emergencies: Source: Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, New Theory and Practice (Brunner/Mazel Psychosocial York, NY 10003, (800) 722-7202, $5.95 Stress Series No. 12.) (D) by Mary Lystad, Ph.D., editor Workbook that provides write-in spaces for children 1988 to irspond to such statements as: To me, war means; Publisher: Brunner/Mazel, Publishers, New York Since the war started, my worst moment was; When I feel worried I can; and This is how I would end the Of interest to school personnel is the section ad- war. dressing "Intervention Programs for Children" which describes unique needs for intervention with a post-disaster traumatized child ppulation. Suggests Peer Helping: A Practical Guide (S) ways that the mental health professional as part of a by Robert D. Myrick and Don L. Sorenson disaster emergency team can help the child and his 120 pgs., 1988 or her family through direct intervention, consulta- Source: Educational Media Corporation tion, and education. Chapter 12, "Big Bird Teaches (publishers). Also available from ERIC/CAPS Fire and Hurricane Safety," descAbes "Big Bird's Clearinzhouse, (313) 764-9492, $7.95/copy Get Ready Family Kit" that deds with planning and Teaches fundamental peer facilitator skills to youth preparing for hurricanes. Notes that a training video- and adults, tape With accompanying guidelines is being produced to aid groups and organizations in the most effective use of the kit. Peer Power: Becoming an Effective Peer Helper, Book- 1 and 2; and Peer Counseling: An In-Depth Laok at Training Peer Helpers (S) Minimizing the Impact of Deployment Separation by Judith A. lindall on Military Children: Stages, Current Preventive 1989 Efforts. and System Recommendations (W, G) Source: Accelerated Development, Inc. (publisher). by cFer Daniel G. Amen, et al. Also available for purchase through ERIC/CAPS Journal: Military Medicine, vol. 153, no. 9, Clearinghouse, (313) 764-9492, $43.85/set of 3 September 1988 books Explores emotional impact on family and espcially Helps students to learn how to relate to others and children of parent's deployment. Describes reaction develop helping skills in a variety of issues includ- of different age groups to three stages of deploy- ing stress management, suicide prevention, and ment: pre-deployment, deployment, and post- coping with loss. deployment, and provides a uetailed table of

1 S 0 )83 Developing Support Groups for Students

Post-Traumatic Loss Debriefing: Providing Journal: Social Work, vol. 30, no. 1, May-June Immediate Support for Survivors of Suicide or 1985 Sudden Loss (ERIC/CAPS Digest) Describes traditional community responses to by Rosemary Thompson disasters and proposes new approach model: Rapid 2 pgs., January 31, 1991 Response Mutual Aid Program (RRMAP). Source: EDRS, 1-800-443-3742 or ERIC/CAPS RRMAP's three components, the cooidinating coun- Clearinghouse, 2108 School of Education, The cil, program matrix, and RRMAP groups, work University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI 48109- together to provide an immediate and responsive 1259, (313) 764-9492 intervention. ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 315 711 Recovering from a Disaster (D) ERIC Digest which provides succinct overview for by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA counselors and mental health professionals of the debriefing to assist 8 pg., 1989 stages of post-traumatic loss Source: Project COPE, 1060 Emeline Ave., those who have experienced a sudden loss. P.O. Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-0962 One of several brochures written after the The Power of Petrvention: A Manual for the October 17, 1989 earthquake in California, this Trainers of Peer Facilitators and Peervention: pamphlet describes experiences and feelings that Training Peer Facilitators for Prevention frequently occur after a disaster and offers Education (S) suggestions on how to cope following a disaster. by Robert D. Myrick and Betsy E. Folk 1991 Source: Educational Media Corporation Resources for Responding to Community and (publishers). Also available from ERIC/CAPS National Emergencies (D) Clearinghouse, (?13) 764-9492, $97.85/set by Cumberland County Schools 20 pgs., January 1991 Provides guide for adult leader and training manual Source: Cumberland County Schools, Division of for student peer counselors that helps them develop Student Services, P.O. Box 2357, Fayetteville, NC skills in responding and assisting others through a 28302 variety of experiential training activities. Describes application of peer counseling to a variety of issues Provides school staff and faculties with a ready including the prevention of deprossion and suicide, reference of suggestions for dealing with a variety of family distress, and community unrest. issues in the event of outbitak of hostilities in the Mid-East or in similar emergency or crisis situations. Included are sections on policy, childron and Preparing for Disasters: The Basics (D) loss, notification of loss, staff emergencies, multiple by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA emergencies, absenteeism, volunteers, and the 7 pgs., 1989 media. Lists of resources and references are Source: Project COPE, 1060 Emerme Ave., provided. P.O. Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-0962

One of several booklets written after the October 17, Resources in Crisis Intervention: School, Family, 1989 earthquake in Califorria, this document offers and Community Applications (G) suggestions for disaster preparedness. Included are Edited by National Assoc. of School Psychologists sections on house preparation, havizag a plan, and 103 pgs., 1991 taking cam of oneself emotionatiy. Several refer- Source: National Association of School ences concerning earthquakes areprovided. Psychologists, 8455 Colesville Rd., Suite 1000, Silver Spring, MD 20910, (301) 608-0500, $24 Rapid Response Mutual Aid Groups: A New prepaid. Response to Social Crises and Natural Provides overview of crisis intervention in the Disasters (D) schools and role of crisis teams in minimizing by Suzanne Michael, et al.

1 S 1 Module 5: Abstracts of Significant Resources

effects of traumatic events for students. Describes Source: American Self-Help Clearinghouse, role of school psychologist, teachers and parents in St. Claires-Riverside Medical Center, 6 Hinchman assisting children in coping with crisis. Lists the Ave., Denville, NJ 07834, (201) 625-7101 typical reactions of children and adolescents to crises. Gives case examples of specific school Provides information on establishing a self-help responses to school crises such as the Cokeville organization. Also available from American Self- Hostage/Bombing Crisis and the Bay Area Quake. Help Clearinghouse are two brochures: "Ideas and Considerations for Starting a Self-Help Mutual Aid Group" and "Developing Self-Help Groups: General Saying Goodbye (0) Steps for Professionals." Brochures are free with by Jim Boulden self-addressed, stamped envelope. 32 pgs., 1989 Source: Mar Co Products, 1-800-448-2197, $3.95 Someone in My Family Went Off to the Describes different reactions to death and includes a Middle East (W) story in workbook format with activity pages for use by Dennis D. Embry with students in grades 1-6. Source: free, call 1-800-735-KIDS in California between 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. School Intervention Following a Critical Contains workbooks for children aged 3-8 yrs. and Incident (D) 9-17 yrs. by Project COPE, Santa Cruz, CA 22 pgs., 1990 Source: Project COPE, 1060 Emeline Ave., P.O. Specia! Curriculum Kit for the Gulf Crisis (W) by Alice Rubenstein and Dennis Embry Box 962, Santa Cruz, CA 95062-0962 44 pgs., 1991 Written following the October 17, 1989 earthquake Source: Project ME, Inc., 800 N. Swan, Suite 114, in California, this document presents a model for Meson, AZ 85711, $30.00/kit school intervention following a critical incident that was piloted in nine elementary school classrooms. Designed for use by school personnel involved in Included are sections on accessing the schools, helping children cope with the Persian Gulf crisis, debriefino ing art, group work, identifying at-risk this get of booklets includes How to Support Our children, cdsis management, and working with Children during Operation Desert Storm, a 20-page manual for teachers, professionals, and agencies; My parents. Friends Help Me, a 12-page story/workbook to help children between the ages of 3 and 8 years who live Schools Lay Plans to Comfort Gulf Soldiers' in Active Duty, Reserve, and National Guard Children (W) families affected by Operation Desert Storm; and I by Ellen Flax Get Support from Friends, a 12-page story/work- Journal: Education Week, vol. 10, no. 17, book to help children ages 9 through adolescence January 16, 1991 who live in Active Duty, Reserve, and National Guard families affected by Operation Desert Storm. Reviews current social studies curriculum in U.S. public schools in light of the Guff War and describes efforts by different districts to increase focus on the 'Riling Children About Death (W, G) Middle East during social studies lessons. Also by The Child Center, Inc. describes results of Scholastic poll showing high 1 page levels of anxiety among school-aged children and Source: The Child Center, Inc., 611 Rockville Pike, efforts by counselors to help children cope with war Rockville, MD 20852, (301) 279-5866 related anxiety. Four-panel brochure that gives parents and family members advice on how to tell a child about the The Self-Help Sourcebook (3rd ed.) (S) death of someone close to them. Answers questions by American Self-Help Clearinghouse such as "How do children react to death?" "What do 1990 children woffy about?" and "Should the child go to the funeral?"

152 185 Developing Support Groups for Students

They're Coming Home (W) Understanding Grief: A Brief Guide (Draft) (G) by Dennis D. Embry et al. by Steven E. Edelman 6 booklets, 1991 9 pgs., 1991 (inferred) Source: Project ME, Inc., 800 N. Swan, Suite 114, Source: Cumbeiland County Schools, Division of Tucson, AZ 85711 Student Services, P.O. Box 2357, Fayetteville, NC 28302 This Reunion Support Series was designed for military families and consists of six booklets to help Prompted by tensions in the Middle East early in make homecoming a lasting, positive time for mili- 1991, this guide was developed to help student ser- tary families and those who love them. Thebooks vices personnel and teachers understand the grieving use first-person stories to involvethe reader in posi- process in the event that students orstaff experience tive steps to improve the quality of everyday life. the death of someone close to them. Children's Included are booklets for military personnel coming developmental phases in the understanding of death home from deployment; their spouses or significant and the developmental phases of grief are discussed. others; and their friends, relatives, schools, and Suggestions axe offered for working with children in communities. Of particular interest are story/work- elementary, middle, and high schools. Special cir- books for children of returning military personnel: cumstances related to deaths resulting from armed one for children aged 4 to 8 yearsold and one for conflict are considered. older children (ages 8 and up). The sixth booklet is a pamphlet about infants and toddlers affected by When a Parent Loses a Job (A Workbook About deployment. My Parent's Job Loss) (G) by Denise McNaught, R.N.,B.S.N. Thoughts and Mews on the Gulf War (W) 36 pgs., 1991 by Rick Hollings and Beth K. Berghoff Source: National Childhood Grief Institute, 3300 15 pgs., January 1991 Edinborough Way, Suite 512, Minneapolis, MN Source: ao Beth K. Berghoff, School Psychologist, 55435, (612) 832-9286, $8.95 Cumberland County Schools, P.O. Box 2357, In the egocentric world of a child, when a parent Fayetteville, NC 28302, (919) 483-2253 experiences a job loss a child often feels Student journal and accompaning facilitator guide responsible. Trying to protect or hide the news from for use with small groups of secondary school a child will only add to his or herconfusion. This students to assist them in working through their workbook is designed to encourage open com- feelings about the Gulf War and its effects on their munication between parent and child. Trhough the life.Provides journal assignments and discussion activities in this workbook, a child can begin to topics for group therapy sessions occuring over a six develop his or her own strategies for coping with to eight week period. change.

Treating Psychic Trauma in Children: A While You Are Away (W, S, G) Preliminary Discussion (G) by Norma Kimrey Colwell by Lenore C. Terr 1991 Journal: Journal of Traumatic Stress, vol. 2, no. 1, 38 pgs. January 1989 Source: Mar Co Products, P.O. Box 1052, Doylestown, PA 18901, 1-800-448-2197, $5.95 Reviews the literature on treatment modalities for psychic trauma in children. Describes most popular Provides a variety of activities for children ages K-6 treatment modalities (play therapy,psychodynamic to work through their feelings ofseparation and psychotherapy, cognitive and behavioral therapies, anxiety created by parents or close relatives who are and medication) and contends that a combination of absent from the home for an extended period. several of these treatments is most effective.

1S3 186 Module 5: Abstracts of Signtficant Resources

The Windy, Rainy, Stormy, Terrible Night (D) Youth Helping Youth: A Handbook for Training by Norma Kimrey Colwell and Margaret Jennings Peer Facilitators (S) 24 pgs., 1989 by Robert D. Myrick and Tom Erney Source: Norma Colwell, 9 Quail Run Circle, 216 pgs., 1985 Hopkins, SC 29061, (803) 776-9075 Source: Educational Media Corporation (publishers). Also available from ERIC/CAPS Fictional story with illustrations of boy named Jody Clearinghouse, (313) 764-9492, $7.95/copy who talks about his experience during Hurricane Hugo and asks open-ended questions of readers to Provides a systematic and effective peer facilitator help them express their feelings about what hap- program for use with students. Includes 46 training pened. Back cover lists suggestions for adults "in activites helping their child better deal with the crisis."

1S4 187 MODULE 6

SOURCESFORASSISTANCEAND CONSULTATION

Lists of consultants and service providers rapidly grow out of date, hence, any time this list is used a check should be made to determine if a given source is the most appropriate and/or up-to-date. Seeking second and third opinions as to the best consultants and/or resources to use fcr a particular purpose is an excellent way to insure that you are obtaining the best information and advice available.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) This module offers a potpourri of sources for 3615 Wisconsin Ave., NW additional information. Listed are centers Washington, DC 20016 that offer an array of services (e.g., consul- (202) 966-7300 tation, exemplary programs, assistance in program design, and speakers) that can be of great use to a Publishes monographs on child and adolescent school staff in designing and implementing a student mental health topics. Although most titles are for support group. purchase, AACAP does offer several brochures free Many of the services offered have minimal costs of charge as well as a Fact Sheet series covering and should at least be sampled, if for no other reason mental health topics of interest to school personnel. than as a way to obtain outside validation that you are "going about it right." American Association for Counseling and Other centers are operated by national networks Development (AACD) and offer the user an opportunity to become affil- 5999 Stevenson Dr. iated with a national organization and thereby gain Alexandria, VA 22304 access to the organizations' accumulausd resources (800) 545-AACD and professional expertise. There are, of course, trade-offs associated with joining an organized AACD, the largit professional organization for network, e.g., access to the network's resources, but counselors, provides information, training oppor- sometimes at the price of a loss of spontaneity, even tunities, and placement services for members of the identity. All programs should carefully review what counseling profession. Catalog of publications is is expected of them when they join a formalized, also available upon request. national organization to assess whether the benefits outweigh the negatives.

COPYAVMLABLE BEST 15 189 Developing Support Groups for Students

American Association for Counseling and Association for Childhood Education Development Library International 5999 Stevenson Ave. 11141 Georgia Ave., Suite 200 Alexandria, VA 22304 Wheaton, MD 20902 (800) 545-AACD, ext. 15 (800) 423-3563 Open to both members and non-members, AACD's Promotes the inherent rights, education, and well- Library has many resources (books, tapes, journals) being of all children in the home, school, and com- for school counselors and educators working with munity through outreach education services, children in the schools. The library's hours are research, information dissemination, and publica- 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m., MondayFriday. tions.

American Association for Protecting Children Center for Early Adolescence The American Humane Association University of North CarolinaChapel Hill 63 Inverness Drive East Carr Mill Mall, Suite 211 Englewood, CO 80112-5117 Carrboro, NC 27510 (800) 227-5242 (919) 966-1148 A national resource center for information on child Provides information, research, referral, training, protective services in the community. Sponsors and consultation to teachers, parents, and agencies workshops, dis3eminates information, and publishes working with adolescents aged 10-15 years. monographs on child welfare topics. Educational Information and Resource Center American Red Cross Research Department General Supply Office 700 Hollydell Court 17th and D Streets, NW Sewell, NJ 08080 Washington, DC 20006 (609) 582-7000 Local chapters have information available on a Provides information and training on education- number of safety and survival topics. Look in your related topics for parents and school personnel. phone book for the chapter in your area. Houses a lending library of toys, games, and books.

American Self-Help Clearinghouse Mar Co Products St. Clares-Riverside Medical Center P.O. Box 1052 Denville, NJ 07834 Doylestown, PA 18901 (201) 625-7101 (800) 448-2197 Publishes the Self-Help Source Book, Youth Publishes monographs, workbooks, videos, and kits Engaged in Self-Help: A Guide for Starting Youth on a variety of counseling topics. Self-Help Groups, and several free brochures on self-help support groups. Maintains a list of self- help organizations around the country and pmvides referral and consultation services.

1 6 190 MODULd 6: Sources for Assistance and Consultation

Military Family Information Clearinghouse and National Mental Health Association Resource Center 1021 Prince St. 4015 Wilson Blvd., Suite 903 Alexandria, VA 22314 Arlington, VA 22203 (800) 969-NMHA (800) 3364592 Serves as an information and referral center in the Maintains both a resource and research collection of area of mental health. Disseminates free brochures information pertinent to all aspects of military and fact sheets. Produces a variety of publications of family life. The collection is available to all military interest to mental health practitioners. personnel and any service provider working with military family members. National Self-Help Clearinghouse 25 West 43rd St. National Association of School Psychologists New York, NY 10036 8455 Colesville Rd., Suite 1000 (212) 642-2944 Silver Spring, MD 20910 Supports research and provides training and referral (301) 608-0500 services on establishing and operating self-help Publications available for purchase on a variety of groups/organizations. Publishes literature on self- counseling and assessment topics. help as well as the Self- Help Reporter quarterly newsletter ($10/yr). For information, send self-addressed, stamped envelope. National Childhood Grief Institute 3300 Edinborough Way, Suite 512 Minneapolis, MN 55435 Project Me, Inc. (612) 832-9286 800 N. Swan, Suite 114 Tucson, AZ 85711 Promotes public and professional awareness regard- (602) 322-9977 ing the nature of childhood grief. Encourages the development of community support for grieving Offers unique intervention to strengthen parent-child children through training and information dissemi- relationship. Publishes topic-specific materials on nation. such issues as resiliancy, health and depression, and Gulf War deployment designed for Grade 4 through adult. Chief of Family Programs National Guard Bureau NGB-PRF 4501 Ford Ave. Alexandria, VA 22302 (703) 756-4848 Provides referral to the appropriate state national guard family program coordinator.

187 191 Developing Support Groups for Students

AMERICAN SELF-HELP CLEARINGHOUSE St. Claresslitiverskie Medical Center, Denvilk, N. J. 07834

Self-Help Clearinghouses in theUnited States (for help in finding or forming a Mutual AidSelf-Help group)

California' 1-800-222-LINK (in CA only)-for verification, call (213) 825-1799 Connecticut (203) 789-7645 Illinois' 1-800-322-M.A.S.H. (in IL)-recently closed - call (708)328-0470 for update Iowa 1-800-383-4777 (in Iowa)- (515-) 76-5870 Kansas 1-800445-0116 (in KS)-(316) 689-3843 Massachusetts (413) 545-2313 Michigan' 1-800-752-5858 (in MI)-(517) 484-7373 Minnesota (612) 224-1133 Missouri, Kansas City (816) 561-HELP Nebraska (402) 476-9668 New Jersey 1-800-FOR-M.A.S.H. (in NJ) (201) 625-9565 NY - Brooklyn (718) 875-1420 NY - Long Island (516) 348-3030 NY - Westchester" (914) 949-6301 NG - Mecklenberg area (704) 331-9500 Ohio - Dayton area (513) 225-3004 Oregon - Portland area (503) 222-5555 PA - Pittsburgh area (412) 261-5363 PA - Scranton area (717) 961-1234 Rhode Island (401) 277-2231 SC - Midlands area (803) 791-9227 TN - Knoxville area (615) 584-6736 Texas' (512)454-3706 Greater Washington, DC (703) 941-LINK 'maintains listings of additional localclearinghouses operating within that state. " call Westchester only for referral tolocal clearinghouses in upstate New York.

for national U.S. listings and directories: American Self-Help Clearinghouse (201)625-7101, TDD 625-9053; National Self-Help Clearinghouse (212)642-2944.

Self-Help Clearinghouses inCanada Calgary (403) 262-1117 Toronto (416) 487-4512 Halifax (902) 422-5831 Vancouver (604) 731-7781 Winnipeg (204) 589-5500 or 633-5955 national newsletter, Initiative (613) 728-1865(C.C.S.D. in Ottawa)

Other Helpful Organizations O.D.P.H.P. Nationai Health InformationClearinghouse, in U.S. 1-800-336-4797 National Organization for Rare Disorders, inU.S 1-800-999-N.O.R.D. Alliance of Genetic Support Groups (geneticillnesses), in U.S. 1-800-336-GENE 192 lbs 9'91 MODULE 6: Sources for Assistance and Consultation

Clearinghouse Services

Information Services

For information on any national self-help group for your concern, phone us at (201) 625-7101, or via T.D.D. dial (201) 625-9053, weekdays between the hours of 9AM to 5PM Eastern time.

Staff and volunteers wil! seek to provide you with current information and contacts for any natfanal_a_eft-AelpAroupc that deal with your particular concern. If no appropriate national group exists and you are interested in the possibility of joining with others to start a local group, we can oren also provide you with information on model groups operating in other parts of the country, or 'I "8 . A -114 - .We will also always provide you with information on any state or local self-help clearinghouse that may exist to serve your area. Such clearinghouses can often advise you of existing local groups that may not be part of a national self-help organization. Most clearinghouses can also provide varying degrees of assistance to individuals who want to start a local group.

For a free listing of phone contacts for self-halp_clearinghousea in the United States and Canada, please send us a stamped self-addressed envelope with your request.

Self-Help Sourcebook

While information on any specific group is always available by phoning the Clearinghouse, the current Third Edition of The Self-Sourcebooic (printed in September, 1990) provides information and contacts for over 600 national and model selhhelp groups, as well as contacts for local self-help clearinghouses, national toll-free numbers, and ideas and resources for starting a group. The Sourcebook is available for ten dollars, postpaid.

Consultation Service

If there is gocr_sipport_ajthura_. mysheat for your problem and you are interested in starting one, the 0=10 with 'suggestions, materials, and other possible support, e.g., listing you and your interest on its computer database which is used by over a dozen self-help clearinghouses in the United States and Canada.

In any case, for a 11. 10 1 arfincLa. ,simply send us a stamped self-addressed envelope with your request.

administrative: (201) 625-9565 group information: (201) 625-7101 TDD line: 625-9053 FAX line: 625-8848

189 193 APPENDIX

THE ERIC SYSTEM

What is ERIC? The ERIC System

The Educational Resources Information Federal Sponsor Center (ERIC) is a nationwide information network designed to provide users with Educational Resources Information Center (ERIC) ready access to education literature. Established in Office of Educational Research and Improvement 1966 to make educational research and practice (OERI) available from a single source, ERIC collects, U.S. Department of Education analyzes, and distributes information from local, 555 New Jersey Avenue, NW State, Federal, and international sources. Washington, DC 20208-5720 The ERIC System, managed by the U.S. Depart- Telephone: (202) 357-6289Fax: (202) 357-6859 ment of Education's Office of Educational Research The ERIC Program staff manages the ERIC System, and Improvement, consists of 16 Clearinghouses, a coordinates systemwide activities, and establishes small number of adjunct Clearinghouses, and four policy. support components. At the heart of ERIC is the largest education database in the worldcontaining nearly 700,000 Clearinghouses bibliographic records of documents and journal The subject authorities of the ERIC System at,. the articles; approximately 2,600 records are added 16 ERIC Clearinghouses, each of which specializes monthly. Papers, conference proceedings, literature in different areas of education. The Clearinghouses reviews, and curriculum materials, along with acquire significant literaturwithin their particular articles from nearly 800 education-related journals, scope, select the highest quality and most relevant are indexed and abstracted for entry into the ERIC materials, and catalog, index, and abstract them for database. input into the database. The Clearinghouses publish Documents selected for the database are cata- research summaries, bibliographies, information loged, indexed, abstracted, and announced in analysis papers, and many others products. In ERIC's monthly journal Resources in Education addition, they offer free reference and referral (R1E). The full text of most documents announced in services in their subject areas. ERIC are available in microfiche or paper copy from the ERIC Document Reproduction Service (EDRS). Adult, Career, and Vocational Education (CE) ERIC announces

195 Developing Support Groups for Students

All levels and settings of adult and continuing, Elementary and Early Childhood Education (PS) career, and vocational/technical education. Adult University of Illinois education, from basic literacy training through College of Education professional skill upgrading. Career education, 805 West Pennsylvania Avenue including carter awareness, career decisionmaking, Urbana, IL 61801-4897 career development, career change, andexperience- Telephone: (217) 333-1386Fax: (217) 333-5847 based education. Vocational and technical education, The physical, cognitive, social, educational, and cul- including new subprofessional fields, industrial arts, tural development of children from birth through corrections education, employment and training early adolescence; prenatal factors; parental behav- programs, youth employment, work experience ior factors; learning theory research and practice programs, education/business partnerships, entrepre- related to the development of young children, neurship, adult retraining, and vocational rehabilita- including the preparation of teachers for this education for the handicapped. tional level; educational programs and community services for children; and theoretical and philo- Counseling and Personnel Services (CG) sophical issues pertaining to children's development University of Michigan and education. School of Education, Room 2108 610 East University Street Handicapped and Gifted Children (EC) Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1259 Council for Exceptional Children Telephone: (313) 764-9492Fax: (313) 747-2425 1920 Association Drive Preparation, practice, and supervision of counselors Reston, VA 22091-1589 at all educational levels and in all settings; theo- Telephone; (703) 620-3660Fax: (703) 264-9494 retical development of counseling and guidance; All aspects of the education and development of the personnel procedures such as testing and interview- handicapped and gifted, including prevention, iden- ing and the analysis and dissemination of the tification, assessment, intervention, and enrichment, resultant information; group and case work; nature both in special settings and within the mainstream. of pupil, student, and adult characteristics; personnel workers and their relation to career planning; family Higher Education (HE) consultations; and student orientation activities. The George Washington University One Dupont Circle NW., Suite 630 Educational Management (EA) Washington, DC 20036-1183 University of Omgon Telephone: (202) 296-2597Fax: (202) 296-8379 1787 Agate Street Topics relating to college and university conditions, Eugene, OR 97403-5207 problems, programs, and students. Curricular and Fax: (503) 346-5890 Telephone: (503) 346-5043 instructional programs, and institutional research at The leadership, management, and structure of public the college or university level. Federal programs, and private educational organizations; practice and professional education (medicine, law, etc.), profes- theory of administration; preservice and inservice sional continuing education, collegiate computer- preparation of administrators; tasks and processes of assisted learning and management, graduate administration; methods and varieties of organiza- education, university extension programs, teaching- tion and organizational change; and the social con learning, legal issues and legislation, planning, text of educational organizations. Sites, buildings, governance, finance, evaluation, interinstitutional equipment for education; planning, financing, con- arrangements, management of institutions of higher structing, renovating, equipping, maintaining, oper- education, and business or industry educational ating, insuring, utilizing, and evaluating educational programs leading to a degree. facilities.

196 Appendix: The ERIC System

Information Resources (IR) bilingual education; socio-linguistics; study abroad Syracuse University and international exchanges; teacher training and School of Education qualifications specific to the teaching of foreign Huntington Hall, Room 030 languages and second languages; commonly and 150 Marshall Street uncommonly taught languages, including Englishas Syracuse, NY 13244-2340 a second language; related curriculum developments Telephone: (315) 443-3640Fax: (315) 443-5732 and problems. The Adjunct Clearinghouseon Educational technology and library and infonnation Literacy Education for Limited-English-Proficient- science at all levels. Instnictional design, develop- Adults is associated with ERIC Clearinghouseon ment, and evaluation are the emphases within Languages and linguistics. educational technology, along with the media of Reading and Communication Skills (CS) educational communication: computers and micro- Indiana University computers, telecommunications, audio and video Smith Research Center, Suite 150 recordings, film and other audiovisual materials,as 2805 East 10th Street they pertain to teaching and learning. Within library Bloomington, IN 47408-2698 and information science the focus is on the operation and management of information services for Telephone: (812) 855-5847Fax: (812) 855-7901 education-related organizations. Includes all aspects Reading, English, and communication skills (verbal of information technology related to education. and nonverbal), preschool through college; educational research and instruction development in Junior Colleges (JC) reading, writing, speaking, and listening; identifica- University of California at Los Angeles tion, diagnosis, and remediation of reading prob- Math-Sciences Building, Room 8118 lems; speech communication (including forensics), 405 Hilgani Avenue mass communication, interpersonal and small group Los Angeles, CA 90024-1564 interaction, interpretation, rhetorical and communi- Telephone: (213) 825-3931Fax: (213) 206-8095 cation theory, speech sciences, and theater. Prepara- Development, administration, and evaluation of 2- tion of instructional staff and related personnel in year public and private community and junior these areas. All aspects of reading behavior with colleges, technical institutes, and 2-year branch emphasis on physiology, psychology, sociology, and university campuses. Two-year college students, teaching; instructional materials, curriculums, tests/ faculty, staff, curriculums, programs, supportser- measurement, and methodology at all levels of lead- vices, libraries, and community services. Linkages ing; the role of libraries and other agencies in fos- between 2-year colleges and business/industrial tering and guiding reading; diagnostics and remedial organizations. Articulation of 2-year colleges and reading services in schools and clinical settings. secondary and 4-year postsecondary institutions. Preparation of reading teachers and specialists. Languages and Linguistics (FL) Rural Education and Small Schools (RC) Center for Applied Linguistics Appalachia Educational Laboratory 1118 22nd Street NW 1031 Quarrier Street Washington, DC 200374)037 P.O. Box 1348 Telephone: (202) 429-9551Fax: (202) 429-9766 Charleston, WV 25325-1348 Languages and language sciences, theoretical and Telephone: (800) 624-9120 (outside WV) applied linguistics; all areas of foreign language, (800) 344-6646 (Inside WV) second language, and linguistics instruction, (304) 347-0400 (Charleston area) Fax: (304) 347-0487 pedagngy, or methodology; psycholinguistics and the psychology of language learning; culturaland Economic, cultural, social, or other factors relatedto intercultural contexts of languages; application of educational programs and practices for rural resi- linguistics in lantwage teaching; bilingualismand dents; American Indians/Alaska Natives, Mexican

192 197 Developing Support Groups for Students

of Americans, and migrants; educational practicesand retirement; the theory, philosophy, and practice programs in all small schools; outdooreducation. teaching; curriculums and general education not specifically covered by other Clearinghouses; all Science, Mathematics, and Environmental aspects of physical, health, andrecitation education. Education (SE) (TM) Ohio State University Tests, Measurement, and Evaluation 1200 Chambers Road, Room 310 American Institutes for Research Columbus, OH 43212-1792 Washington Research Center Telephone: (614) 292-6717Fax: (614) 292-0263 3333 K Street NW Washington, DC 20007-3893 Science, mathematics, and environmental education Telephone: (202) 342-5060Fax: (202) 342-5033 at all levels, and within these threebroad subject areas, the following topics:development of cur- Tests and other measurement devices;methodology riculum and instructional materials; teachers and of measurement and evaluation; applicationof tests, teacher education; learning theory/outcomes(includ- measurement, or evaluation in educationalprojects ing the impact of parameters such as interestlevel, or programs; researchdesign and methodology in intelligence, values, and concept development upon the area of testing/measurement/evaluation;learning learning in these fields); educational programs; theory. applications; research and evaluative studies; media Urban Education (UD) computer applications. Teachers College, Columbia University Social Studies/Social Science Education(SO) Institute for Urban and Minority Education Indiana University Social Studies Development Main Hall, Room 303, Box 40 Center 525 West 120th Street 2805 East 10th Street, Suite 120 New York, NY 10027-9998 Bloomington, IN 47408-2373 Telephone: (212) 678-3433Fax: (212) 678.4048 Telephone: (812) 855-3838Fax: (812) 855-7901 Programs and practices in public, parochial, and of All levels of social studies and social scienceeduca- private schools in urban areas and the education tion; the contributions of history, geography,and particular racial/ethnical minoritychildren and other social science disciplines;applications of youth in various settingslocal,national, and theory and research to social scienceeducation; international; the theory and practice of educational education as a social science; comparativeeducation equity; urban and minority experiences,social (K-12); content and curriculum materials on social institutions, and services. topics such as law-related education, ethnicstudies, bias and discrimination, aging, and women'sequity. Support Components Music and art education are also covered.The Adjunct ERIC Clearinghouse for Art Educationand Four ERIC Support convonents produce,publish, the National Clearinghouse for U.S.-JapanStudies and disseminate ERIC products and services. are associated with theERIC Clearinghouse on ACCESS ERIC Social Studies and Social Science Education. 1600 Research Boulevard Rockville, MD 20850-3238 Teacher Education (SP) American Association of Colleges for Teacher Telephone: (800) USE-ERICFax: (301) 251-5212 Education ACCESS ERIC coordinates ERIC's outreach, One Dupont Circle NW., Suite 610 dissemination, and systemwide activities; develops Washington, DC 20036-2412 new ERIC publications;and provides reference and Telephone: (202) 293-2450Fax: (202) 457-8095 referral services through its nationwide toll-free number. ACCESS ERIC's publications and direc- School personnel at all levels; teacher selection and A Pocket Guide to ERIC, All About training, preservice and inservice preparation, and tories, including

198 Appendix: The ERIC System

ERIC, The ERIC Review, and several reference determined by individual service providers. The directories, help the public understand and use ERIC vendors listed on page 198 sell CD-ROM subscrip- as well as provide information about current tions and/or personal online access to the database. education-related issues, research, and practice. ERIC also offers computer tapes (ERICTAPES) of the ERIC database. This resource can be obtained ERIC Document Reproduction Service (EDRS) by subscription or on demand from the ERIC 3900 Wheeler Avenue Facility (write for a price list). Alexandria, VA 22304-6409 Whichever search method you use, be sure to Telephone: (800) 227-ERIC, (703) 823-0500 consult the Thesaurus of ERIC Descriptors to Fax: (703) 823-0505 identify key words to build your search strategy. EDRS produces and sells microfiche and paper copies of documents announced in Resources in Online and CD-ROM Searching Education (RIE). Back collections of ERIC documents, cumulative indexes, and other ERIC micro- Both online and CD-ROM search methods allow fiche products such as the ERIC Starter Kit are also users to identify, by the use of Boolean operators available from EDRS. Users can conveniently order (and, or, not), articles that are concurrently indexed EDRS products online (through OCLC, DIALOG, under different subject terms and that cut across a BRS, ORBIT) or by Fax. variety of subjects. The two methods am available on a subscription basis, include regular updates, and ERIC Processing and Reference Facility requke the payment of an annual licensing fee. 1301 Piccard Drive, Suite 300 Minimum hardware requirements are a microcom- Rockville, MD 20850-4305 puter and a modem or CD-ROM drive. Iblephone: (301) 258-5500 Fax: (301) 948-3695 A computer-assisted search of the database is the The ERIC Processing and Reference Facility is a most up-to-date, thorough, and efficient method of central editorial and computer processing agency, acquiring education information contained in ERIC. whlch coordinates document processing and You can limit your search to such fields as author, database-building activities for ERIC; performs publication date, subject, or document type, among acquisition, lexicographic, and reference functions; others. and maintains systemwide quality control standards. To obtain a computer search, consult the The ERIC Facility also prepares Resources in Directory of ERIC Information Service Providers, or Education (RIE) and other poducts. call ACCESS ERIC for the ERIC online service provider nearest you. The search can be as general Oryx Press or specific as you like. Provide the online searcher 4041 North Central Avenue, Suite 700 with your topic and discuss a search strategy, or let Phoenix, AZ 85012 the searcher develop the strategy based on your Telephone: (800) 279-ORYX, (602) 265-2651 criteria. The result will be an annotated bibliography Fax: (602) 265-6250, (800) 279-4663 of references on your topic. You can obtain the full Oryx Press publishes Current Index to Journals in text of most documents by calling the ERIC Education (CIJE), the Thesaurus of ERIC Document Reproduction Serivce (EDRS) at 1-800- Descriptors, and other ERIC publications. 127-ERIC. CD-ROM versions of ERIC are menu-driven, making it easy for novice searchers to locate infor- Searching the ERIC Database mation. Many libraries have CD-ROM available for use by patrons. The accompanying reference The ERIC database is accessible in print, online, and manuals facilitate the search process further. Use the on CD-ROM. To identify the nearest location to Thesaurus of ERIC Descriptors to identify index perform a search, consult the Directory of ERIC terms on your subject. The system will tell you how Information Service Providers available from many citations contain terms related to your topic. ACCESS ERIC. Fees for searches and printouts are You can read them off the screen and decide whether

194 199 Developing Support Groups for Students

to printthe information orsave(download) it on a BRS Information Technologies disk for later editing with a word processor. 8000 Westpark Drive To subscribe to an online or CD-ROM service, McLean, VA 22102 contact one of the vendors below. (703) 442-0900, (800) 955-0906 ORBIT Search Service Performing a Manual Search 8000 Westpark Drive McLean, VA 22102 To conduct a search of the printed indexes of the (703) 442-0900, (800) 456-7248 ERIC Collection, use theThesaurus of ERIC Descriptorsto identify subject terms found in the alphabetical descriptor display. Read the scope notes CD-ROM Vendors (SN) for information on how ERIC uses these terms. Additional search terms are found by using the DIALOG Infori %Hon Services narrower terms (NT), broader terms (BT), or related 3460 Hillview Av.'nue terms (RT) listed under the descriptors headings. Palo Alto, CA 94304 (Also note the "Use" cross references under related (415) 858-2700, (800) 334-2564 headings.) TheThesaurusterms can be used to OCLC (Online Computer Library Center) Resources in Education (RIE) search both indexes: 6565 Frantz Road and theCurrent Index to Journals in Education Dublin, OH 43017-0702 (CIJE). R1Econtains five types of indexes: subject, (614) 764-6000, (800) 848-5878 (ext. 6287) author, institution, publication type, and Clearing- house/ED number.CUEhas three: author, subject, SilverPlatter Information Services and journal contents; it also includes tables of One Newton Executive Park contents of selected periodicals. Newton Lower Falls, MA 02162-1449 Consult the monthly or cumulative issues ofRIE (617) 969-2332, (800) 343-0064 for documents cited in the subject index by using the terms selected from theThesaurus.Each citation is identified with an accession (ED) number that How to Obtain ERIC Documents directs you to an abstract found in the front of the issue. The ERIC Document Reproduction Service (EDRS) You can conduct a search of periodical literature is your source for obtaining microfiche or paper by consultingCIJE.Thesame Thesaurusterms can copies of documents from the ERIC database, be used to find entries in the subject index of each allowing you to: monthly or semiannual issue. The accession (El) Access the latest education information for number refers you to an abstract and the citation of preparing papers, theses, position papers, the journal in which the full article is located. reports, and bibliographies. From the abstracts, you can determine whether Locate full-text documents. you want to obtain the completedocument or article. Build a low-cost education library. (For information on how to obtain ERIC documents, see below.) Documents in the collection are announced in Resources in Education (RIE). RIEcan be obtained from the U.S. Government Printing Office (GPO), Online Vendors Washington, DC 20402. Similarly, ERIC announces DIALOG Information Services journal literature inCurrent Index to Journals in 3460 Hillview Avenue Education (CIJE),available from Oryx Press. CUE Palo Alto, CA 94304 entries are not available in microfiche; however, (415) 858-2700, (800) 334-2564 many are available in paper copy fromUniversity

200 Appendix: The ERIC System

Microfilms International (see below for address). ERIC Products TheCatalog of ERIC Clearinghouse Publications, available free from ACCESS ERIC, lists current ERIC produces numerous products in severalconve- documents published by the Clearinghouses. nient formats to help you access and use the information in the ERIC collection and database. Resources in Education and the Microfiche Collection ERIC Reference Tools

Most documents announcedin RIE are available in ERIC reference tools help you locate information in microfiche or paper copy from EDRS. the database and enhance your research capabilities. ERIC's microfiche collection, which contains the For example, the ERIC Facility provides printed full text of more than 300,000 documents indexed indexes and other tools produced for the benefit of and abstractedin R1E, isavailable on a monthly those working closely with the ERIC files, e.g.,Title subscription basis from EDRS. EDRS also sells IndexandIdentifier Authority List.(Write the ERIC microfiche and paper copies of individual docu- Facility for a price list.) ments. To obtain price or ordering information, call Abstract JournalsERIC produces two monthly EDRS at 1-800-227-ERIC. abstract journals.Resources in Education (RIE),a More than 825 organizations subscribe to the publication announcing current education-related complete ERIC microfiche collection; many others documents, can be obtained from the U.S. maintain substantial portions of the collection. Government Printing Office (GPO), Washington, These organizations are listed in theDirectory of DC 20402.Current Index to Journals in Education ERIC Information Service Providers.The directory (CIJE),a periodical announcing education-related will be available through an online vendoron a journal articles, is available from Oryx Press (1-800- subscription basis; printed copies are available from 279-ORYX). ACCESS ERIC upon request by calling 1-800-USE- Thesaurus of ERIC DescriptorsThis master list ERIC. of index terms used by the ERIC System, with a complete cress-reference structure and rotated and Journals hierarchical displays, is available from Oryx Press. ERIC Starter KitIn addition to microfiche of all The two agencies listed here provide reprints of ERIC document records that have appeared in RIE journal articles announcedin Current Index to (1966-1988), the ERIC Starter Kit includes the Journals in Education (CIJE).For journals that do following RN indexes: subject, title, author, institu- not permit reprints, consult your local university or tion, descriptors, and identifiers. (Call EDRS at public library for an original issue of the journal. Or, 1-800-227-ERIC.) write directly to the publisher. University Microfilms International (UMI) ERIC Directories and Information Products Article Clearinghouse 300 North Zeeb Road ERIC Clearinghouses produce individual state-of- Ann Arbor, MI 48106 the-art reports, interpretive summaries, syntheses, Telephone: (800) 732-0616 digests, and other publications. Many are available free or for a minimal fee. Contact the Clearinghouse Institute for Scientific Information (ISI) most closely associated with your interest area for Genuine Article Service its publication list or call ACCESS ERIC at 1-800- 3501 Market Street USE-ERIC fora freecopy of theCatalog of ERIC Pililadelphia, PA 19104 Clearinghouse Publications. Telephone: (800) 523-1850 In addition, several reference and referral directories, representing education information resources

196 201 Developing Support Groups for Students in the United States, are available from ACCESS chronological listings of national and regional ERIC. These include: education-related conferences, particularly those that ERIC Components plan to attend in ERIC Information Service ProvidersCon- the coming year. tains a list of agencies and organizations, with ERIC Training Opportunities and Products addresses, telephone numbers, and services, Contains information about training products that provide computerized searches of the and opportunities available on the use of the ERIC database, have a sizable collection of ERIC database and system. ERIC microfiche, and/or subscribe to and collect ERIC publications. Education-Related Information Centers The information in this appendix was taken from the Identifies and describes resource centers that pamphlet titled All About ERIC published by the provide information in education-mlated areas Office of Educational Research and Improvement in for ERIC users. the U.S. Department of Education. ERIC Calendar of Education-Related ConferencesProvides alphabetical and

202 On a daily basisstudents.of all ages experience directly or indirectlythe trauma and stress assotiatedwith crime anti violence, drug andalcohol abuse, suicides, automobile accid-ents., andfathily disruptions broughttabout by divorce and parental joblessness. Moreall-encompasOnfVfents such as the 1991Persian Gulf War, earthquakes andhurricanes bring a8dedgtress to students and adults alike. In the'aggregate, these stressors seriouslyimpede the ability of students to attend to their school studies and todevelop-well tialanced and emotionally stable per- 9 sonalities.

Schools seeking ways tohelp students in times ofcrises will discover in this , monograph six information-packedmodules offering clear instructions forhow to utilize the proven powerOf student support groups.

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The sEtecial strengthof this volume is that itfeatures the writings of experienced self-help support groupdevelopersand leaders. Schools establishing new prograins of Student services-aswell as thosewishing to expand already effectively.operating programs willdiscover m4ch informationand useful "know how" in these pages. Whether a school's staffis looking for, information onhow to, organize and implement student stipport, groups,wondering Where to turn foradditional resources orexpert,consultation, seeking answers tospecific questions, or merely wishing ,to acquire avaluableII-around reference, they willfind what they need hero. In these timesof stress and uncertaintyschools can hardly afford tobe without Pevelopum. SupportGroups for Students.