What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? Bullying and the Emotional Mind: • Another premise is clients need validating environments Teaching DBT Skills in which they are taught to regulate , deal with interpersonal conflicts, tolerate distress, and find to Foster Resiliency balance in the lives.

• The goal of DBT is to teach healthy coping skills to help clients manage intense emotions without the use of self- Kimberly L. Mason, Ph.D., LPC-S, NCC destructive behavior, with the ideal result being improved relationships. LCA Conference September 27, 2016

Objectives Biology and Regulation

Understand DBT and Bullying Goodness of Fit

Learn the Foundation of DBT

Develop a Bullying Prevention Model Based on DBT Core Skills

Cultivate DBT Strategies to help youth accept their and to use thinking to change feelings

Biology, the Amygdala, and What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? Emotion Regulation

• DBT is a cognitive-behavioral approach that emphasizes • Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) studies in the psychosocial aspects of treatment. BPD show increased amygdala activity to specific types of stimuli. • Premise of DBT is that individuals struggle to tolerate and – “unresolved” life events, emotional faces, positive and regulate strong emotional states. negative emotional pictures, and emotionally-triggering • (affective instability) is caused by: scripts. 1. heightened emotional responsivity • DBT targets amygdala hyperactivity • high sensitivity to emotional stimuli and heightened emotional – part of the disturbed neural circuitry underlying emotional intensity dysregulation. 2. difficulties in effortful modulation of negative .

(Goodman et al., 2014)

1 DBT and Bullying: Goodness of Fit DBT and Bullying: Goodness of Fit

• Adverse childhood experiences in combination with Given that DBT has been shown biological vulnerabilities and heightened emotional and behavioral dysregulation are thought to be effective in treating emotional relevant in the etiology of bullying, BPD, , regulation, DBT-ST can help youth , and self-harm (Linehan, 1993). reduce emotional dysregulation and • Research indicated in children under 12 who were reactivity by addressing deficits in bullied, there is an increased risk of developing poor mood and impulse control, unstable and intense emotion regulation, distress tolerance, personal relationships, and severe difficulty trusting and interpersonal relationships so the actions or motives of others (Wolke et al., 2012). bullying may decline.

DBT and Bullying: Goodness of Fit Foundation of DBT

Emotions can facilitate or impede youths’ peer relationships • Dialectics • Behaviorism Paradigms • Mindfulness • Youth who engage in bullying have lower competence in managing their emotions, being empathetic, solving • Wholeness and Interrelatedness problems, and/or evaluating the consequences of their • Polarity Dialectical actions. Principles • Continuous Change • Victims of bullying experience , , anxiety, • Reducing dysfunctional behaviors , hurt, and . They have increase • Increasing skillful behaviors in health concerns and withdraw activities they once Purpose • Building a life worth living enjoyed.

Foundation of DBT DBT and Bullying: Goodness of Fit Dialectical View

Opposites can co-exist • Current research shows that DBT has been shown effective in treating transdiagnostic disorders. • A life worth living has positive and negative • Emerging evidence suggests that DBT skills training (DBT-ST) aspects reduces problems with emotions. • Find ways to accept BOTH sides of a • DBT-ST has been shown to reduce emotion dysregulation, increase skills use, and reduce anxiety severity for individuals situation and find a who met criteria for BPD, depression, anxiety, eating synthesis that does not disorders, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. negate the reality of either.

(Harley, Sprich, Safren, Jacobo, & Fava, 2008; Linehan, 1993; 1994; Neacsiu, Rizvi, & Linehan, 2010; Neacsiu et al, 2014; Soler et al., 2009; Safer, Robinson, & Jo, 2010)

2 Foundation of DBT Balanced Thinking Teen Dialectics Examples

• There is no absolute truth; everyone has something to • Avoids all or none and accepts “both” offer. • and • I am doing the best I can and I can do better. – (Parents often feel that if they accept they give up hope; this dialectic needs to be re-enforced so they do not become hopeless) • I am tough and I am gentle. I may not have caused all of my problems, and I’m responsible for working on them. • Independence and assistance • Choices and limits • A life worth living has , , anger, and • Giving in and choosing priorities calm, and all of these things are valuable and necessary. • Firmness and gentleness

Obstacles to Dialectical Thinking Balanced Language

• All Or Nothing: If you’re not perfect, you’re a total Help kids use less extreme loser. or absolute words • Disqualifying the Positive: The good stuff doesn’t • Minimize use of always, the possibility of hope count because the rest of your life is a miserable pile never, everyone, nobody, of crap. you make me • Jumping to Conclusions: You suddenly become a • Use “I feel…” statements, anger, , psychic mind reader and know exactly what everyone instead of “You are…” statements. and really thinks. • : You start thinking emotions • Instead of saying: “Everyone always treats me unfairly,” are facts. I feel like she hates me, so she does. say “Sometimes I am treated fairly AND at other times I am treated unfairly.”

The Central Dialectic in DBT Creating Balance

• As a counselor, you balance understanding your clients’ behavior in the context of their life AND helping them to learn skills to manage their behaviors better. – An emphasis either on acceptance or on change is usually ineffective • Validation means the acceptance that someone is Problem Solving Mindfulness doing the best he/she can in the context of his/her life Radical Acceptance Cognitive Behavioral Goals and Contingencies is as true for parents as for the adolescent. Turning the Mind Validation • Validation communicates and acceptance and serves to de-escalate emotional situations .

3 Social Conformity Experiment Behaviorism Paradigm

A Bullying Prevention Model Based on Creating Balance DBT Core Skills

Mindfulness It is important to remember, and to remind your

clients, that behaviors have been learned; they

Interpersonal Distress can be unlearned and new behaviors can be Effectiveness DBT Tolerance

learned to replace them.

Emotional Regulation

DBT Balances

Skills Acquisition: teaching new behaviors Mindfulness VS.

Validating and Reinforcing existing adaptive Focusing Skills behaviors

4 Mindfulness Taking Hold of Your Mind 3 States of Mind

Hot • Mindfulness is Mood-Dependent paying Reasonable Mind Emotion-Focused Wisdom within Ruled by in a particular Cool Intuition Rational emotions, way; on purpose; Task-Focused mood, Wise Mind feelings to do in the present Mindfulness is Awareness Value both or say things; plus Acceptance of the Ruled by reason and Facts and moment, and facts, reason logic; see the reason are not current moment and logic; whole picture important non-judgmentally. Values and clearly feelings are - Jon Kabat-Zinn Emotional Mind not important

Mindfulness Practice

Write Your Name S.L.O.W.L.Y. • How do you hold your pencil? • How much pressure do you use? • Do your fingers? • Does your whole hand move? • What is your other hand doing?

Taking Hold of Your Mind Mindfulness Exercise Follow-Up 3 States of Mind

• How did it feel? • Adolescents – Are driven by what they feel they need in Emotion Mind • What did you notice? – Might “mask” their emotions or otherwise appear competent in • What did you learn? Reasonable mind – Think about the most effective way to handle a situation in • Did you recognize something you did not Wise Mind expect? • Parents – React in Emotion Mind – Lecture or give explanations in Reasonable Mind Individuals who practice this exercise learn to observe – Respond in Wise Mind interactions and slow down their responses, giving them • We ask clients to ask themselves what Wise Mind time to find an effective response. would do and wait for the answer.

5 Practicing Mindfulness What Skills

Participate “What” Skills “How” Skills • Be involved in what you’re doing; get rid of self-consciousness and let go of your worries or – Observe – Non-judgmentally • Throw yourself totally into something; No compartmentalizing

– Describe – One mindfully • Ex: Have you ever had a conversation and found yourself – Participate –Effectively nodding and giving facial cues?- your body is on automatic pilot while your mind is somewhere else. • How often do you drive home without noticing and then (help us know what to do) (help us to know how to do it) suddenly you are home.

• Full participation is the ultimate goal in mindfulness.

What Skills How Skills

Non-Judgmentally Observe • Look at consequences of behavior and events vs. • Just notice, attend, experience being in the moment, evaluating the behavior (good vs bad). what are you sensing – without words – Your behavior is awful vs. your behavior is hurting me. • Let thoughts come in and go out – “When you act that way, I feel sad.” – “If you behave that way, you may be suspended.” • Ex: Breathing  Doing – “If you do not change your behavior, you may not get what – your chest rise & fall, how deep you breath, the you want or meet your goals.” sound of an exhale, the muscles moving, the feel of your • Change is initiated to create more desirable outcomes. breath on your skin  observing (this reduces based feelings that can perpetuate behavior with negative outcomes)

What Skills How Skills

Describe One-Mindfully • Put words to an experience, label what is observed, but do not judge • Focus the mind to be in the moment; focusing • Describe a thought – recognize that it is a thought, not a fact • Do not make assumptions about individuals, behaviors or completely on one activity at a time. motives. Does assume the intent of the behavior. – Sometimes people make an assumption- “They don’t like me.” The • Avoid reactions based on mood, negative description of this might look like- they don’t invite me to lunch, they don’t make a response when I try to join their conversation, they avoid thoughts, assumptions, expectations, worries me, they always have little secret jokes etc. • The description does not warrant the conclusion - there etc. could be many different reasons people at school have cliques that have less to do with someone outside the clique than with some other factor.

6 Distress Tolerance

Crisis Survival Skills Accepting Reality

How Skills Distress Tolerance

One-Mindfully • The emphasis is on skills for • This skill relies on being aware of your thoughts, tolerating painful events and emotions when you feelings, and expectations, and observing them so cannot make things better you can be careful not to react based on an right away; to reduce and impulsivity. assumption or a mood. • Accepting the experience of • When you observe your thoughts before you speak, you the present moment for what it is, without struggling can react without creating conflict. You can enter your to change it or willfully wise mind. resisting it.

How Skills Distress Tolerance Skills

Effectively • Crisis Survival Skills • Focus on what works – Getting through the moment of /distress – Stay away from thoughts of “right”, “wrong”, “should”, “should without making the situation worse. not”, “fair” and “unfair”. – Short term benefit • Do what is needed or asked in a particular situation, not • Each crisis survival skill is a method for coping with the situation you WISH you were in. overwhelming emotions and tolerating situations. • This skills means learning to give in and compromise when it leads to an effective or productive end result. – Distracting • LET GO of vengeance, useless anger, and – Self-soothe righteousness that hurts you and doesn’t work. – IMPROVE the moment – Weigh the Pros and Cons

7 Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills DISTRACT SELF-SOOTHE the Five Senses

• Do something else • Vision - Notice what you see, find soothing things to • Imagine something else look at. • Sense – generate sensations to interrupt your focus on • Hearing - Pay attention to what you can hear around pain you. • Taste - Carefully savor flavors that the day brings you. • Think about something else • Smell - Be aware of the memories that smell can • Remember times when things were better bring. • Accept that pain is part of life • Touch - Find comfort in touch. • Create meanings • Movement – Release energy and emotions through • Take opposite action. Do the reverse of what you feel. exercising, walking, dancing, etc.

Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills DISTRACT with Wise Mind ACCEPTS SELF-SOOTHE the Five Senses

• Reducing contact with emotional stimuli Issues in Teaching Self-Soothing • Self thoughts such as “I don’t deserve it.” – Activities - keeping attention on other things • Teach clients to self soothe as a way to lower their emotional – Contributing - taking care of others baseline and to decrease emotional vulnerability. Don’t wait until you are in crisis to use these skills. – Comparison - to worse situations • Some people self soothe frequently as a way of avoiding dealing – Emotions - opposite to what one is feeling with problems. – Pushing Away - decrease contact with painful cues • Encourage clients to practice using various senses rather than limiting themselves to one sense that might be more natural to – Thoughts - thinking of other things them. – Sensations - intense other sensations interfere with the • For people who binge eat, it is best not to use triggering foods for physiological component of current negative emotions self soothing since the effects often back fire.

Distress Tolerance Skills DISTRACT through vigorous exercise IMPROVE the moment

Which form of exercise appeals to you? Replace immediate negative events, thoughts, responses with more positive ones  Jumping Rope  Lifting Weights  Riding my bike • Imagery - Imagine a very relaxing scene. • Meaning - Find or create some purpose, meaning, or value in the pain (Make lemonade out of lemons) • Prayer - Open your heart to a supreme being, greater wisdom,  Fast walking  Football  Baseball God, your own wise mind. • - Take a hot bath; get a message; breath deeply • One thing in the moment- Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. • Vacation - Give yourself a brief vacation. • Encouragement - Repeat over and over; “I CAN stand it,” “It won’t  Martial Arts  Swimming last forever,” “I will make it out of this,” “I’m doing the best I can do.”

8 Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Quick Relaxation Exercise Thinking of Pros and Cons

For the adolescent - to use safe or unsafe behaviors • Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the • Evaluate the pros of using familiar behaviors which floor or lie down flat on your bed or floor. Close your may be unsafe or dangerous. eyes. If uncomfortable just gaze down at the floor. • Evaluate the cons of using the familiar behaviors – • Arms and hands: Clench your fists and push your what is the long-term consequence of this behavior? arms straight out in front of you. • Look at the pros of a more skillful behavior – will it be • Legs and feet: Push your toes downwards, gently safer raise your legs, and stretch them out in front of you. – Is it more effective in reaching goals even if it less effective in • Stomach: Push out your tummy muscles, take a managing pain in the moment? breath and hold it. • What are the cons of the safer behavior – why is it • Shoulders: Scrunch up your shoulders. difficult to use it? – Does it work in the short-term to alleviate stress?

Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Thinking of Pros and Cons Point to Ponder

• Ineffective behaviors have a purpose – They provide • A way to evaluate choices between behaviors, to immediate relief from pain. assess what behavior will be the most effective in the • Effective choices have drawbacks – The student has to long run. sit with the discomfort of the distress. • Look at Pros and Cons of each possible choice. • The for immediate relief of anxiety and pain is • Make a list of the pros and cons of TOLERATING the present for children and is hard to let go of. distress- coping by using healthy skills. Make another • Individuals need to accept some pain and discomfort in list of the pros and cons of NOT TOLERATING the order for change to occur. distress - that is, of coping by hurting yourself, abusing alcohol or drugs, or doing something else impulsive. • Counselors need to understand and validate the pain and support the individuals through it. • DBT is about long term change, not short-term relief.

Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Thinking of Pros and Cons Accepting Reality

Have the urge to fight/physically attack Radical Acceptance Pro’s Con’s • Letting go of fighting reality, accepting reality, going with the Coping • Increased self respect • Can’t speak my mind , and tolerating the moment. • People around you will respect • Feel tense longer • Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to ACCEPT the you • Don’t get to retaliate, pain. • Will help you get what you want just think about it • Mastering Skills • Give up a moment of • Deciding to tolerate the moment is ACCEPTANCE. power • ACCEPTANCE is acknowledging what is. Not Coping • Hurt Someone • Lose privileges • ACCEPTANCE of reality requires an act of CHOICE (Turning • Some times it pays off • Lose • Protect yourself/others • Lose self-respect the Mind) (“I don’t have to put up with this!”) • Get satisfaction • Lose status • You have to make an inner COMMITMENT to accept. • You get to end it • ACCEPTANCE is replacing Willfulness with Willingness

9 Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Accepting Reality Accepting Reality Guidelines

Ways to get one’s body ready so that one’s mind can begin to accept Accepting life in the Moment Skills what “is”. • Acceptance of “what is” will • Breathing/Observing one’s breath exercises : – Focus on breathing, helps to relax; – Bring a sense of calm – Helps individuals to accept and tolerate themselves, the – Allow for more effective problem solving, world and reality as it is. – Allow you to see opportunities in the situation • Half-smiling exercises: that you were not able to see when you were – Relax face, neck and shoulder muscles and half-smile; “fighting reality”. – Accepting and tolerating with one’s whole body. – Enable you to see more opportunities for • Awareness exercises: change and hope. – Helps with acceptance; – Become aware of simple things.

Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Accepting Reality – Turning The Mind Accepting Reality – Willingness

Rejection Acceptance Turn your mind Willingness is … Willfulness is ... • Allowing the world to • Saying NO, NO, NO toward acceptance be as it is • Giving up • Agreeing to participate • Denying and away from in the world as it is • Pushing Away • Actively participating in • Avoiding rejecting reality reality • What you need to overcome a threat

Distress Tolerance Skills Distress Tolerance Skills Accepting Reality – Turning The Mind Steps to Turning Willfulness to Willingness

1. Notice ... 1. Ask yourself, • anger, bitterness, , falling into the sea of – "What is the threat?" "Why me?" – "What is the catastrophe?" • when you are trying to… 2. Notice and observe willfulness o escape reality; block things out; hide how you feel 2. Make an inner commitment to turn your mind 3. Radically accept the willfulness toward acceptance 4. Turn your mind towards willingness, acceptance, and participating in reality just as it is. 3. Practice turning your mind toward acceptance 5. When it becomes difficult to Turn The Mind, adopt a over and over again. willing posture (open arms & palms, half smile) 4. Develop a plan for catching yourself in the future

10 Emotion Regulation Skills

• Understand and Name Emotions Emotion – Identify (observe and describe) emotion. – Understand what emotions do for you. • Reduce Emotional Vulnerabilities to Emotion Mind Regulation – Decrease negative vulnerability – Increase positive emotions • Change Emotional Response to Decrease Emotional Suffering De-escalation skills – Let go of painful emotions through mindfulness and checking the facts. Reduce Vulnerability and – Change painful emotions through opposite action Emotion Episodes – Change painful emotions through solving the problem

Emotion Regulation Skills Emotion Regulation 8 Primary Emotions

• Difficulties in regulating painful emotions are central to the behavioral difficulties. 1. Anger • Painful feelings are “the problem to be solved” 2. • Dysfunctional and destructive behaviors are often 3. behavioral solutions to intolerable pain, which regulate 4. Fear emotions. 5. • Feelings are caused by a person’s belief system or by a 6. Guilty/Shame person’s interpretation about something that happened. 7. • The aim is to reduce suffering; not get rid of emotions. 8.

Emotion Regulation Emotion Regulation Emotion Vulnerability The Problem

AVOIDANCE OR ESCAPE e.g., • High sensitivity interpersonal conflict – Immediate reactions (abandon, PROBLEM BEHAVIOR – Low threshold for emotional reaction invalidation) EMOTION Alcohol & Drugs DYSREGULATION Self-injury • High reactivity CUE Aggression – Extreme reactions – High dysregulates cognitive processing

• Slow return to baseline – Long lasting reactions TEMPORARY RELIEF – Contributes to high sensitivity to next emotional stimulus Reinforcement strengthens this whole process e.g., others back off

11 Emotion Regulation: DBT Intervenes Emotion Regulation Skills

Teach how to prevent AVOIDANCE OR ESCAPE triggers X Act Effectively Despite PROBLEM BEHAVIOR Emotional Arousal EMOTION DYSREGULATION Teach • Remember you are not your alternative emotion: Do not necessarily ACT CUE X ways to Teach how to stop this behavior on emotion. Regulate or avoid or • Block avoidance tolerate distress distract X – Combat Myths: It’ll Change if I Reduce power Wait, It’ll Kill Me, It’ll Last Forever of triggers and X TEMPORARY RELIEF emotion • Problem solving to change vulnerability emotions Without escape, Stop problem – To reduce frequency of negative emotion dysregulation behavior or emotions should improve reinforcement

Emotion Regulation Skills Opposite to Emotion Action

Act OPPOSITE to what you • FEAR-Hide-Approach want to do • ANGER-Attack-Gently • Walk away rather than abuse someone Avoid • Approach something you • SAD-Withdraw-Get are afraid of Active • Do something active when • -Avoid-Face you want to do nothing • Talk about something that you feel ashamed of • Watch a funny movie when you feel sad

Emotion Regulation Skills Emotion Regulation Skills

• Distraction • Increase Emotional Tolerance – activities with focused attention – Acknowledge emotions through mindfulness – Recognize by observing your emotion – self-soothing • Check the Facts • Intense exercise • Do the facts of the situation justify the emotion? • Relaxation – Endure emotions by experiencing them as a wave coming and going – progressive muscle relaxation • You are not the wave – slow diaphragmatic breathing • Don’t avoid it – Biofeedback • Don’t judge it • Don’t make it bigger or smaller • Temperature • Don’t hold on to it – ice cubes in hands – face in ice water (whole body dunk)

12 Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

Skills used to Build, Maintain, or End destructive Relationships;

Achieve Objectives with Others via stating what you need, saying no, and coping with conflict.

Walk the Middle Path via balancing priorities versus demands and “wants” and the “shoulds” in order to gain mastery and self-respect.

Emotion Regulation Skills

5 steps to handling your feelings. • Name the Emotion – Be specific how you feel. • Claim the Emotion – Say: “This is my feeling. No one made me feel this way. How I am feeling is my response to this conflict.” • Tame the Emotion – If you are uncomfortable with the intensity of your feelings, do physical or mental activities that reduces them. • Reframe the Emotion – Say: “Is this the first time I had felt this way? Am I overreacting? What am I failing to understand about other person? Hoe can I reframe my feelings in this situation?” Is it worth the battle/loss (even if I am right)? • Aim the Emotion – Say: “What am I going to do with this emotion? Will I talk with someone (with assertive communication)?” Do I need to understand my part of the conflict? Am I willing to accept and forgive? Will I ask the other party to resolve the conflict without assuming?”

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

People Skills Assertiveness

13 Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Create/Maintain Relationship: “GIVE”

• Gentle: be nice, no attacks, no threats, no judgement • Interpersonal effectiveness skills • Interested: listen to other person; don’t interrupt, don’t include: assume – Assertiveness skills • Validate: convey understanding, verbally and – Communication skills nonverbally – Refusal skills • Easy Manner: smile, be lighthearted, use a little – Conflict resolution skills humor

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Maintain Self-Respect: “FAST”

• Objective Effectiveness – DEAR MAN or DIG • Fair: validate your and the others feelings, needs, • Maintain the Relationship wishes –GIVE • no Apologies: don’t apologize for making the request • Maintain Self Respect or having an opinion – FAST • Stick to values: avoid selling out your values and • Your Goals beliefs –RAN • Truthful: don’t lie, exaggerate, or act helpless when you aren’t

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Obtain Goal/Make Requests: “DEAR MAN” Validation

• Describe: Describe the situation - Stick to the facts • Express: Express your feelings and opinions about the situation • Acknowledging what is sane, true and • Assert: Assert yourself by asking what you want clearly valid about the client’s point of view. • Reinforce: Reinforce or reward the person ahead of time by explaining consequences Validation must be authentic and • Mindful: Maintain your focus on your objectives (i.e., broken genuine. record), ignore if other person attacks, threatens or tires to change subject. • Appear Confident: Be effective and competent, good eye contact, confident voice • Validation is not synonymous with • Negotiate: Be willing to give to get, offer and ask alternative approval, agreement, or . solutions. Turn the table to other person. “What do you think we should do?”

14 Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Create A Validating Environment Do’s of Validating

• Communicating that you are listening and not judging or blaming; • Acknowledging how hard it is when his/her emotions seem to spin out of control and he/she feels powerless to control them. DBT’s aim in creating a validating • How painful it must feel to behave in ways that he/she may later or that upset others. • Acknowledging how difficult and even embarrassing it is to be “different” environment is to teach individuals to trust when he/she wants to be like everyone else. • Recognizing and acknowledging the circular nature of communication and how each are affected in a transactional way. • Acknowledging the difficulty in his/her lives and letting him/her know you and validate their own emotions, thoughts accept him/her in this moment even while you are helping him/her to change his/her behaviors. • Accepting that the child is doing the best he/she can with the circumstances and activities. and difficulties in his/her life and the ways he/she have learned to manage their difficulties. • If kids feel validated, they will be better able to receive feedback and change their own behaviors

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills DBT and Teen Reactions Validation

Teach children to validate others because: • it helps their relationships go better • “Staying in logical mind and using emotional regulation, I have been able to stay rational and calm • it calms intense emotions and situations so that they and get what I need.” can problem solve Teach children to self-validate because: • “The number one skill that I used was DEAR MAN, • it quiets defensive or fearful emotions so they can especially with my mother. I basically sat down and problem solve. thought about how I could use each element of DEAR • it allows them to let go of the pain and exhaustion that MAN in a conversation with her. DEAR MAN in constant self-justification and self- requires. combination with…just about everything else.”

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills DBT and Teen Reactions Invalidating Behaviors – The Don’ts

• Not paying attention, being distracted, being anxious to end the conversation • “The Mindfulness skill allowed me to heighten • Telling the other person what he/she DOES feel or SHOULD my awareness of my limits. I’m more aware of feel • Pathologizing or criticizing what the other person thinks or when I’m overworked, or over emotional and I feels know what triggers the overload.” • Patronizing, condescending or treating the other person as fragile or incompetent • “My experience here with DBT has been truly • Emotionally invalidating environments are generally intolerant of displays of negative feelings/emotions, especially when life changing. I’ve developed skills that will such displays do not match what others think the environment help me the rest of my life.” supports the emotion to look like! • Not responding to or validating the other’s self-disclosure

15 Bullying No More: Understanding and Preventing Bullying

In Bullying No More, Dr. Kimberly L. Mason offers an arsenal of techniques to end the cycle of bullying. Rather than assigning blame and doling out punishment (response tactics which rarely work in these cases), Mason focuses on changing behavior by repairing relationships.

This down-to-earth, yet comprehensive guide will help readers: • Recognize the signs and the different forms of bullying • Understand the three main roles that children play in bullying • Decipher the myths and facts about bullying • Put proven intervention and prevention strategies into use • Communicate more effectively with children

Covering aspects of bullying for all ages and taking into account modern forms via online, social media, and smartphone video and photo usage, this timely book will be an invaluable resource for parents, educators, youth leaders, or anyone else who deals with kids on a regular basis who want to intervene and protect children from the harmful effects of bullying.

I know that it’s not always easy to keep your chin up when dealing with challenging clients and situations.

I thank you for coming today to help youth use their wise mind to regulate their emotions, cope with distress, and improve their relationships.

Bullying and the Emotional Mind: Teaching DBT Skills to Foster Resiliency

Kimberly Mason, Ph.D., LPC‐S, NCC Walden University [email protected] 985‐246‐0086

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