Walt Grace ______A Short Play Inspired by John Mayer’s ‘Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967” By Andy Rassler

Andy Rassler 160 Edgewater Drive Concord, NC 28027 (704) 782-7218 (704) 701-5793 [email protected] 1

Cast List:

Walt Grace Walt is never seen in this play, only heard. He is a middle-aged, disillusioned man who has a unique plan to rid himself of his mid-life crisis.

Walt’s wife She is never named in the play. In her mid- to late- 40s, disgruntled, impatient, sometimes surly and a bit over-worked. She is stressed, especially by this bewildering turn of events in her husband’s life.

Sophia* Walt’s daughter. She is in her early teens. She has adopted most of her mother’s surly ways, mostly because she really loves her mother and doesn’t understand what’s going on with dad.

Tucker* Walt’s son. He is more accepting of his father’s ways, but is reluctant to voice his opinion because he’s intimidated by his mother. He is just a year or two older than Sophia.

Librarian* She is old-fashioned, strict, and humorless. Everything you may think of when you hear the moniker ‘librarian’, she is solid, and serious. She takes her librarian job very seriously.

Jo/e* An intern at the library, s/he is everything the Librarian is not. S/he just sees the library as a quiet place to make some money. S/he is extremely smart, interested in information for its own sake, but is very cool, laid-back, and loves to just conjecture about the ‘whys’ of life.

Bob One of Walt’s drinking buddies, he has been bashed down by life, but still holds good humor about it. He went through a tough divorce about a year prior (his wife took him for almost everything he owned), but he’s slugging through it all. And still smiles.

Jerry Another of Walt’s buddies, he is still married—almost happily—but is struggling with this thing called middle age and where his life might go and/or end.

*Characters starred may work as either gender. 2

At Rise: As the lights come up, we see three areas of the stage: Walt Grace’s kitchen table (SR), the public library (C), and a bar where Walt gathers occasionally with his friends (SL). At the SR table sit Walt’s wife and two kids. It is a silent, tense meal. At C, there is a tense, uptight librarian and a student intern, who is quite the opposite of tense and uptight. At SL are two of Walt’s drinking buddies; good-natured guys who are not hopeless drunks. They just like to get their drink on a bit before they head home to their not-so-fulfilling lives. The director may choose to direct this however s/he sees fit, but here are some choices: When Walt’s narration plays, there is a tableau and all are still. The actors stay frozen and in tableau until the scene shifts to them, then the lights change and they animate. Or, the actors can continue to mime action in their scenes when the focus changes to another scene. A sensitive and insightful director will find the look that s/he finds works best for the space and that particular production. As lights come up, John Mayer’s “Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967” plays through the 1st verse and the chorus (right up to the words “homemade, fan blade, one man submarine ride). As each area is mentioned, lights will come up on that area. (“And his wife told his kids he was crazy”=lights up on SR, “And his friends said he’d fail if he tried”=lights up on friends in bar, “But with a will to work hard and a library card=lights up on library desk on C) Then, the lights come up on SR.

There is a long, tense pause on stage as the family eats, clearly without the head of the table eating with them. We hear the silverware clinking and see the kids darting looks at each other, but WIFE doesn’t look up from her plate. After about 10 seconds of silence, the voice-over begins. The director may do what s/he wills with the staging while the voice-over is playing.

WALT (voice over) January 3, 1967 The deep disappointment of the holidays after such a complete build-up of hopes has served to move me in a new direction. The direction may be a circle, leading me right back to where I started, but I at least feel that something has to happen now. Something different. All holidays, all Christmases, all everything has started melting together into one giant pit of disappointment from which recovery is getting increasingly difficult. The eternal optimism that was never entirely mine has completely vanished. So, it appears I have two choices: 1) end it all. Or 2) Embark on a completely ludicrous mission that only a fool would even consider beginning. And could possibly lead to my death. So, maybe I’m choosing the same thing either way. In any case, I can either move toward my eventual end, or I can sit still and watch my end come to me. I know that whatever happens, I will be called a variety of names, not the least of which may be selfish and self-absorbed, but what will be, will be. My family, who should be my one source of solace and happiness, has somehow seemed to team up against me, not necessarily in obvious ways, but I can feel the sneering behind my back and can sense the negativity being sent my way at every meal we share and in every quiet evening we spend watching the television. I will change the course of this, and I must do this alone. Damn the torpedoes…

3

The lights come up on the bar where his friends are gathered.

BOB …full speed ahead! That’s what he said.

JERRY He said, “Damn the torpedoes…”

BOB …full speed ahead!” That’s what the crazy bastard said.

JERRY Well, what did he mean?

BOB I don’t know, Jerry. “Damn the torpedoes…” That’s a quote from…who said that, anyway?

JERRY I think it was Paul Revere.

BOB Paul Revere? The midnight rider guy? Said “Damn the torpedoes?”

JERRY I thought it was him. Him or George Washington.

BOB George Washington did not say “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.” I don’t even think they had torpedoes back then.

JERRY Oh.

BOB Yeah, oh. I’ll bet Walt would know who said that.

JERRY Walt would know! He’s a walking encyclopedia. (awkward pause) Was it Paul Revere, then?

BOB I don’t think so. Oh, it’s on the tip of my tongue…”Damn the torpedoes”…it’s…it’s…

Lights come up on the library scene.

JOEL (working a cross word puzzle) …It’s a four letter word for ‘escape’. The last letter is an “e”.

LIBRARIAN 4

Shouldn’t you be re-shelving books instead of indulging in mindless newspaper games? You’ve gotten behind in the 900s, as I’m quite sure you’re aware.

JOEL Mindless? This is anything but mindless, my lady. I can feel a new brain wrinkle growing as we speak…I am trying to cogitate a word that ends in “e” that means escape….oh, it hurts! The wrinkle hurts!!!

LIBRARIAN The 900s, young man. You do have gainful employment in this establishment and there are expectations that surround said employment.

JOEL Wow. You talk real good.

LIBRARIAN Shelving. 900s. Immediately.

JOEL As you say, venerable leader. (As he heads to the books) Say, did you happen to notice the book that guy checked out about an hour ago from the 900s?

LIBRARIAN Did I notice which book a patron checked out an hour ago?

JOEL Yeah, you put the stamp on it for when it’s due again. Did you notice? What the book was?

LIBRARIAN It is neither my business nor yours to notice or comment on the reading choices of our patrons.

JOEL Shouldn’t that be “nor comment”?

LIBRARIAN I beg your pardon?

JOEL Did you see what he checked out or didn’t you?

LIBRARIAN It is not my habit to invest in the personal choices of our constituents.

JOEL Is that a yes or a no?

LIBRARIAN I believe it was something about…the ocean…

JOEL Oh, Madame Librarian…you feign ignorance of these things. That guy checked out a book about how to build a submarine. A home-made submarine! Can you imagine? 5

LIBRARIAN Can I imagine what? A book about submarines? We have dozens of titles about submarines in the 900 section alone.

JOEL I’m aware of our rich collection of submarine titles. Yes. But a book about building one…

LIBRARIAN Are you moving yet? I asked you to move what seems ages ago!

Lights come up on the family. WIFE and LIBRARIAN’s lines are spoken at the same time.

WIFE I asked you to move what seems ages ago!

TUCKER I’m going, I’m going.

SON exits, leaving the DAUGHTER and WIFE looking at each other.

WIFE What could he be doing down there?

SOPHIA He likes it down there. He’s just putzing around.

WIFE Putzing around? Did you get that phrase from me?

SOPHIA Probably…

WIFE Well, I just want him to join us for dinner, that’s all. It’s only about thirty minutes out of his so-called busy evening. You’d like your father to join us, wouldn’t you?

SOPHIA Of course I would.

TUCKER returns from the basement.

TUCKER Dad says he’s a little tied up with something. And he’s not hungry.

WIFE He’s tied up with something? Well, did he say what?

TUCKER 6

No. Not specifically.

WIFE Did you see anything unusual?

TUCKER Unusual?

SOPHIA Yeah, like your face?

WIFE Sophia…

TUCKER Or your butt, maybe??

WIFE Tucker!!!

TUCKER Sorry, Mom.

WIFE Well?? Did you see anything?

TUCKER There was a library book there with pictures of submarines in it.

WIFE Oh, Lord, he’s on his World War II kick again. He just can’t get enough of those things. That man is crazy.

TUCKER Didn’t submarines begin in World War I?

WIFE What?

TUCKER No, nothing…

SOPHIA Like that’s the point, dumb-head.

TUCKER Why are you talking to me?

SOPHIA You want me to slow down so you can understand me?

WIFE 7

Enough!! Just eat. Eat, both of you.

SOPHIA You’re not eating, Mom…

WIFE I’m not hungry right now. You two eat, I’m going to go down to the basement and see what this is all about.

WIFE exits.

SOPHIA Oh, geez. This’ll be good.

TUCKER Shut up, Sophia. Just shut up.

Lights change.

WALT January 13, 1967 I read in the paper this morning that a Dr. James Bedford had himself cryonically preserved in the hopes that they’ll unfreeze him in the future and he can continue living. I don’t really have the equipment to try that. I wonder if I would if I could? I wonder if he really knows what he’s getting himself into. I mean, I understand the impulse to want to live forever. At least I think I do. But it seems to me there’s a natural order of things in the universe, and doing something like that…well, what might that do to your soul? Can your soul be released to go to Heaven if your body’s not all the way dead yet? It’s dangerous stuff to tinker with, if you ask me. Not that anybody did. Wouldn’t it be tragic if he did the freezing and then his soul is in torment because it can’t rest, but he can’t tell anybody? Well, I just don’t know what I think about all of that. I think what I’m doing is, by far, safer than freezing myself, and the only person who may end up on the bottom of the ocean is me. If I die, I die. I mean, if everybody lived forever, this planet would be…well, it’s too crowded already. Where would we put everyone? A human being eventually has to die of something. I believe that’s part of what makes us human. If we lived forever…if all of us froze ourselves, well, then we’d have to be called something else. Well, back to the submarine project. So, the actual nuts and bolts of putting this sea vessel together don’t appear to be that complicated. There’s a lot to be considered as far as oxygen, storage of supplies and just plain leg room, but with the great luck that there’s an oil company near-by, I have vaulted over the first hurdle of what material to use for a hull. The oil barrels I found are a nice size and will serve well. And, since I already know how to solder, weld, and work with metals, I’m well on my way. For me, I think it’s just a matter of time…

Lights up on the library. WALT’s last line and JOEL’s first line over-lap.

JOEL (still working on the crossword puzzle) It’s just a matter of time, you know.

LIBRARIAN A matter of time until what, young man?

JOEL Until all of this is mine. All mine! (evil laugh)

8

LIBRARIAN This is more of your unique brand of humor, I suppose?

JOEL Isn’t it charming?

LIBRARIAN Charming. Yes. I can think of a number of other words I would use.

JOEL Appealing? Amiable? Enchanting?

LIBRARIAN No, more along the lines of…tedious, monotonous…

JOEL I get it. I get it. (brief pause) Can I ask you a question, lady librarian?

LIBRARIAN May I ask…

JOEL Okay, I goofed on that one. May I please ask you a question?

LIBRARIAN Why would you want to do that?

JOEL I don’t know…the 900s are shelved and I find myself with a little time. And I’m curious.

LIBRARIAN There’s still the 200s.

JOEL Okay. I think the religious books will forgive me if they don’t get shelved immediately. (pause) Will you answer a personal question if I multi-task: ask and shelve at the same time?

LIBRARIAN (pause) I will. If only to placate you and diminish the ambient noise in here. But I reserve the right not to answer if I deem the question beyond what I am willing to share.

JOEL Fair enough. Okay. Question: Is this what you dreamed of doing? I mean, as a kid? When you were a kid, did you dream of being a librarian?

LIBRARIAN (the question takes her back a bit) Did I dream of being a librarian?

JOEL 9

Yeah. Is this your dream job? Have you fulfilled a dream working here?

LIBRARIAN Fulfilled a dream.

JOEL Did you ever dream of doing something crazy? Doing something other than this? (LIBRARIAN is still thinking this over, pause) Is there something outrageous you’ve always wanted to do?

LIBRARIAN From where did this question come? Is this about the patron who checked out the book about submarines?

JOEL No…not really. I’m asking you a real question.

LIBRARIAN Crazy dreams…are for the young. I’m much too old to think of such things. No, I never had any crazy dreams.

JOEL Never?

LIBRARIAN I never did. I am perfectly happy right here. Doing what I’m doing.

JOEL Okay. I accept your answer. I accept it, but I don’t believe it.

Lights change. Up on BOB and JERRY. JOEL’s last line and JERRY’s first line over-lap.

JERRY I don’t believe it!

BOB It’s true! Says right here: (reads the newspaper headline) “Apollo I Fire Kills Three Astronauts”.

JERRY Well, damn…what happened?

BOB I don’t know, I haven’t read the article yet. That was just the headline.

JERRY Wow. They think they’re going to the moon and they end up dead.

BOB That’s right. (continues reading) Didn’t even get off the launch pad. (reads some more) Oh, actually happened during a test.

JERRY Well, that’s just sad. Tragic, isn’t it? 10

BOB Oh, I don’t know about tragic.

JERRY No?

BOB Well, they chose to do that, didn’t they? They chose to be astronauts and chose to take the risks that come along with that. Right?

JERRY I guess that’s right…

BOB I mean, tragic would be being killed by…a stray bullet. Or a drunk driver. Or…

JERRY Or…a rocket fire?

BOB You’re not following me!

JERRY Well, what if I just think you’re wrong?

BOB I’m not wrong about this one!

JERRY Well, I can think you’re wrong! I have my rights!

BOB Oh, for crise sakes…

JERRY I’ll bet Walt would think it’s tragic.

BOB Oh, no he wouldn’t. He most certainly would not. Those astronauts had their job to do. Their job is to be astronauts and to go out there to space and find things out. He would applaud their bravery.

JERRY He would call that brave? Dying in a fire?

BOB Not the dying part. Anybody can die in a fire. That doesn’t take bravery. My dog could die in a fire. Risking your life to explore space…he would call that brave.

JERRY Is what Walt’s doing brave? 11

BOB You mean the submarine thing?

JERRY Yeah…

BOB Is it brave? You mean, is it brave like the astronauts?

JERRY Yeah…

BOB Well, at least the odds were in the astronauts’ favor, you know what I mean?

JERRY What do you mean?

BOB I mean…he’s never gonna make this thing. He’ll never make it across the whole ocean. I mean, there’s no way that tiny little thing he’s building will make it in that giant sea. He’ll never make it.

JERRY I don’t know…something in me really wants him to. Don’t you?

BOB I…well, I doubt he’ll get the thing to the water, let alone make it across the ocean. I mean, he’s got to transport it to the beach first. Ah, he’ll never make it.

JERRY So, is what he’s doing brave, then?

BOB I don’t know…it’s takes…cajones to even try it, I guess. I don’t know if I’d go as far as brave.

JERRY Aww…you’re worried about him, aren’t you?

BOB I’m not worried…

JERRY You are worried! You’re worried about your friend.

BOB Well, aren’t you? Worried, I mean? I mean…if he does get it launched…he might not make it.

JERRY Right.

12

BOB (after a pause) It says here the crew on the outside of the rocket had to flee…

Lights come up on library so both areas are lit briefly.

JOEL (working his crossword puzzle again) Flee! The four letter word for escape is flee!!

LIBRARIAN Score one for the genius library intern.

JOEL I am a genius? I am a genius!! What does it take to get genius status, anyway?

Lights shift to family. JOEL’s last line over-laps with TUCKER’s.

TUCKER What does it take to get genius status, anyway?

SOPHIA Dad is not a genius, Tucker.

TUCKER I didn’t say he was, cork-face.

SOPHIA Thanks, potato head, I like corks. Well, if you’re not saying that, why are you asking?

TUCKER Well…I mean…okay, it takes something to be able to build your own submarine, doesn’t it?

SOPHIA I guess. But it’s really just putting something together. Like a puzzle.

TUCKER But…I think it’s more than that. I mean, he has to figure it all out and then navigate it across the ocean.

SOPHIA He’s not a genius. We would have known already if he were a genius.

TUCKER Why don’t you want to give him any credit? It’s pretty amazing, if you ask me.

SOPHIA Oh, yeah, sure enough. It’s amazing to leave your wife and kids and go off on a wild goose chase.

TUCKER It is amazing! 13

SOPHIA It’s not! It’s not amazing. It’s stupid and selfish!!

TUCKER Those are Mom’s words, not yours! You’re just a Mom parrot! You don’t even know how you feel about it!

SOPHIA I do, too! It’s stupid and dumb and crazy! He’s crazy! And you’re as crazy as he is if you believe in this stupid thing he’s doing.

TUCKER You take that back.

SOPHIA I won’t.

TUCKER Soph…

SOPHIA I won’t take it back! You’re crazy, he’s crazy…this whole thing is stupid and crazy! It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of and I’m not talking to you anymore!!!

SOPHIA leaves the stage in a huff. Lights shift briefly to bar. SOPHIA’s line and BOB’s overlap.

BOB I’m not talking to you anymore.

JERRY What did I say?

BOB Everything I read to you, you want to make it about Walt. Not everything’s about him, you know?

JERRY No, I know. I guess he’s just been on my mind, you know?

BOB Yeah…but look at this (showing him the headlines in the paper). There’s a whole world out there that has nothing to do with him. He’ll be okay.

JERRY How do you know that?

BOB I don’t know it…but he’ll be okay. You know, one way or the other, he’ll be okay.

JERRY One way or the other… 14

BOB Let’s do the crossword. You like the crossword, don’t you?

JERRY Of course I do…let me hit the boy’s room first.

BOB Okay, but you’d better hurry! The crossword waits for no man!

Lights shift to library. BOB’s line and JO/E’s lines overlap.

JO/E The crossword waits for no man!

LIBRARIAN You’re quite finished with the 200s?

JO/E Finished, oh, mighty one. Each religious book back in its rightful pew.

LIBRARIAN Well, that’s as it should be, then. As it should be…

JO/E Hey, are you okay?

LIBRARIAN What do you mean? Of course I’m okay.

JO/E I don’t know, you seem…fidgety or something.

LIBRARIAN Don’t mind me. I’m healthy as a horse. Fit as your proverbial fiddle.

JO/E If you say so…okay. A five-letter word for discontentment. Hmmm…

LIBRARIAN Ennui.

JO/E Bless you.

LIBRARIAN No, ennui. It’s a five-letter word for discontentment.

JO/E Hey! It fits! How did you know that? 15

LIBRARIAN I work with words all day long.

JO/E You’re really good! Awesome. Ennui.

LIBRARIAN Jo/e? Young intern of mine?

JO/E Yeah?

LIBRARIAN I hope it’s not presumptuous for me to ask…may I…turn the tables on you, so to speak?

JO/E Turn the tables?

LIBRARIAN Yes. In a manner of speaking. I want to ask…well, that is…

JO/E You want to ask me about my dreams, don’t you?

LIBRARIAN How did you know…?

JO/E I’m not as dumb as I appear.

LIBRARIAN I had no idea I was so transparent.

JO/E Transparency isn’t always a negative. And, yes, of course I have dreams. Not crazy, blown up dreams like the submarine guy. I think that guy is whack. Soooooo crazy. But I’m a little jealous, too. I mean, to just decide to up and do that kind of thing. I couldn’t do it.

LIBRARIAN Nor could I.

JO/E But, yeah. You know what I want more than anything? My biggest, craziest dream of all time? (LIBRARIAN shakes her head.) To be happy. Isn’t that the key to everything?

LIBRARIAN To be happy? That’s it?

JO/E 16

Yeah, I know. But happiness is different for everybody. For all I know, you are ecstatically happy working quietly in this library every day. It may be your calling. Your passion. Submarine guy couldn’t find his happiness here, so he’s looking for it. You know, since he hasn’t found it in all the “normal” places, he’s looking under the sofa cushions, above the ceiling tiles…and in the ocean. You know? It’s kind of crazy, but it’s his journey, you know? In a submarine in the ocean is where he has to look.

LIBRARIAN Finding happiness alone. In the ocean.

JO/E Well, if he hasn’t found it anywhere here, where else is he going to look?

LIBRARIAN Where else, indeed?

JO/E A seven-letter word for dream. Fifth letter is the “e” in ennui…seven-letter word for dream…

LIBRARIAN Chimera.

JO/E Wow.

LIBRARIAN Crossword puzzles are my passion. My happiness. My ocean. My quest. My dream.

They both look at each other, knowing where this is leading…they begin to sing simultaneously:

BOTH To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unfightable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, To go where the brave dare not go…

Lights shift.

WALT 2/23/1967 This may be as good a time as any to make my departure. The sub isn’t quite ready yet, but things on land aren’t looking very good, so maybe some quiet time underwater is the best thing. The radio said the US started its largest offensive of the war. So much violence. So much…noise. And so many people charging up some hill or other to take it in the name of freedom. Pretty big price tag, though. A pretty big price tag that I was willing to pay, once upon a time. I was going to be one of those guys. I even volunteered, showed up to get it all done. They rejected me because I’m color blind. I didn’t see what that had to do with anything, but it was pretty cut- and-dried: You can’t see colors, you can’t defend your country. You’d think that being color blind would actually be an advantage, if you know what I mean. Well, it is what it is. I think it’s pretty ironic when you’re willing to sacrifice, willing to put yourself out there…and you can’t. Then, there’s tons of other people who are dragged kicking and screaming to do the exact same thing that you wanted to do. Where’s the sense in that? They put people in jail for dodging the draft, but they sent me packing. Would it make sense for me to show up at 17 the jailhouse and trade myself in for one of the dodgers? I wonder…but it’s too late now. All that’s done. Anchors aweigh, my boys. Not long now and it’s anchors aweigh…

JERRY (singing) Anchors aweigh, my boys…anchors aweigh!!

BOB Why do you sing that every time you come out of the john?

JERRY It’s my song, Bob. I can’t help it! (sings again) Anchors aweigh, my boys…anchors aweigh!

BOB Okay, okay…You got that out of your system?

JERRY You bet. I got it all out of my system!

BOB Too much information, Jerry. That’s enough…

JERRY Hey, you know what I read in there?

BOB You were reading the walls?

JERRY No, those have been the same for years…no, there was a paper in there.

BOB You washed your hands, right?

JERRY I’m not an animal.

BOB Okay…what did you read?

JERRY There’s a new giant plane thingy, a…(checks the paper) Boeing 737, they call it.

BOB You brought the paper out with you?

JERRY Yeah…

BOB Was it on the floor? 18

JERRY Maybe…Can I please continue??

BOB Please continue. (to himself) Eesh…

JERRY Thank you, I’ll continue. Okay. So this huge plane, this 737, made its maiden flight from Kansas to Seattle.

BOB Yeah? And?

JERRY And so…it made it! It’s a new thing, they took a chance, it made it.

BOB Oh, I get it.

JERRY Do you see? Do you see it?

BOB I get it. That plane made it, so Walt’s got a chance, too. Is that it?

JERRY That’s it!

BOB You know, the two things are completely different.

JERRY Not completely.

BOB Well, let’s see: Boeing—an established company, lots of people researching, developing, testing, and preparing. Versus…Walt—a single person, no support, no testing, very little preparing.

JERRY I take issue with the preparing part.

BOB It’s not the same. Just because the Boeing made it from Kansas to Seattle does not mean Walt’s going to make it from here to Tokyo. It’s not the same thing.

JERRY (very hesitant) Okay. It’s not the same thing. (pause) But they made it, didn’t they?

BOB There’s something wrong with you, isn’t there? What is wrong with you? 19

Lights shift. BOB’s line overlaps with WIFE’s.

WIFE (yelling down the stairs at WALT) What is wrong with you? There is something seriously wrong with you!!

WIFE turns abruptly and goes into the “corner” (probably the DR corner of the stage facing the audience) and is beside herself with anger and frustration.

TUCKER (approaches WIFE and puts his hand on her shoulder) Mom? You okay?

WIFE I don’t think so, Tucker. I don’t think I understand what’s going on here.

TUCKER and WIFE share a hug. SOPHIA enters as they are hugging and looks a little lost. WIFE sees her and calls her over. They all share a hug.

SOPHIA What’s going to happen, Mama?

WIFE I don’t know, Soph.

SOPHIA He’s not going to stop, is he?

WIFE I don’t think so.

TUCKER I don’t want him to.

SOPHIA What are you talking about?!? You’re crazy, too! I knew it!!!

TUCKER I don’t want him to stop! He’s going to be famous, Soph! He’s gonna launch that submarine and go across the ocean and he’s going to be the coolest dad in the whole wide world! I’m proud of him!!

WIFE Tucker…

SOPHIA Are you serious? Is that what you think?

20

WIFE Sophia…

SOPHIA Here’s another take on what’s going to happen, dumby. He’s gonna launch that submarine, it’s gonna sink to the bottom of the ocean, and he’s going to die! How’s that grab ya?

WIFE Sophia!!

SOPHIA That’s what’s going to happen! He doesn’t know how to make a submarine! He doesn’t know anything! He’s a big, dumb, stupid, idiot and I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!!

WIFE slaps SOPHIA. There is a stunned silence as they look at each other.

WIFE That man is my husband. And I won’t have you talk about him that way.

SOPHIA runs off stage in tears. WIFE follows. TUCKER is left on stage alone in shock.

WIFE Sophia! Sophia!

WALT 6/27/1967 I’ve created quite the mess in my own household. In my quest to find my inner smile, it seems I’ve erased the smile from everyone I love. I don’t enjoy that feeling, but I can’t seem to stop the forward momentum. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. And, as selfish as it may appear, at this moment if I don’t find my own happiness I simply won’t be able to contribute to the happiness of anyone else. This thing has a force of its own and it’s propelling me forward. Is it so wrong to want to be alone? My wife seems to think so. But as I look around at my own home and at this county itself, it only seems to cause strife when people try to live together. There are race riots breaking out all over the country. One of the worst was in Cincinnati, Ohio. Right in the center of what you would think would be peace, calm and love for your fellow man, a giant riot breaks out. All because we can’t get along. Maybe we shouldn’t live together. Maybe everyone should be by themselves, at least for awhile. It’s hard to have a riot when you’re by yourself. A one-person riot. Unheard of. I realized when I got to the beach that I didn’t buy a bottle of wine to christen the ship before its voyage. I don’t know if that’s just for above-the-water ships or if it’s supposed to be for submarines, too. I guess I didn’t do my research on everything. But, in the absence of a bottle, I’ll just salute the Heavens, say a little prayer, and paddle off to my destiny. What will be, will be. This is my journey. And I’m looking forward to the quiet.

Lights shift to the bar.

JERRY The Surveyor 4 exploded just before it got to the moon. Did you know that?

BOB Nope. Didn’t know that. Manned or unmanned?

21

JERRY Let’s see…unmanned. Just stopped sending signals.

BOB Well, at least it was unmanned…

JERRY Right.

Lights shift to library.

JO/E A six-letter word for failure…starts with a “d”…

LIBRARIAN Defeat. The word you’re looking for is defeat.

JO/E You’re right again…

Lights shift to home. TUCKER has left the stage. SOPHIA enters and sits at the table. WIFE joins her. An awkward silence.

WIFE He’s crazy, Sophia. We both know he’s crazy.

SOPHIA I know. I know he is. So why? Why do you…

WIFE He’s crazy, Soph. But he’s mine. And I still love him. You still love him, don’t you?

There is silence as SOPHIA thinks about the question. Lights shift to library.

JO/E A nine-letter word that means ‘bravery’. Second letter is an ‘o’ and the last letter is an ‘e’.

LIBRARIAN Fortitude. I believe that fits.

JO/E (smiles) Yes, I believe it does. Fortitude. Yes, that fits perfectly.

Lights shift to home. TUCKER enters and witnesses his sister saying:

SOPHIA I can’t forgive him for this. I won’t. You do what you want. 22

SOPHIA exits and WIFE looks at TUCKER, who takes his sister’s place at the table.

WIFE Well, I guess it’s just you and me, then…huh, Tucker?

TUCKER I guess so…

Lights shift to bar.

BOB Well, will you look at that?

JERRY What? Look at what?

BOB Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the 1st black United States Supreme Court Justice.

JERRY Wow.

BOB Yeah. Wow.

During the above dialogue WIFE has crossed to the bar and approaches the table. When WIFE leaves the home area, SOPHIA enters and sits forlornly at the table.

WIFE Hello. I’m not interrupting, am I?

JERRY Umm…no, I…can we help you?

WIFE I’ve never actually come in here, but my husband…Walt…he came here all the time.

BOB You’re Walt’s wife? Walt Grace’s wife?

WIFE Yes. It’s probably silly for me to come here, but I thought…I don’t know…I thought if I came here, I might…

JERRY You might figure out why he did this?

WIFE So you do know him. Well, it’s a long shot, I know. 23

BOB It sure is…

WIFE You haven’t heard from him at all. Have you? I mean…

JERRY No. Have you?

WIFE No. There really is no way for him to contact us, though, is there? In the middle of the ocean.

BOB No, there sure isn’t.

WIFE No, I guess there isn’t.

WIFE goes to the corner and is tearful, crying. JERRY approaches gently.

JERRY Hey…he’s going to be okay, you know.

WIFE You think so?

JERRY Sure.

BOB Why don’t you join us for a drink?

WIFE I’d love to.

Lights shift to library.

JO/E What’s a three-letter word for ‘triumph’?

LIBRARY That’s not in the puzzle, is it?

JO/E Oh, you caught me!

LIBRARY You think he’s going to make it, don’t you?

24

JO/E Hey, in my world, he’s made either way. Know what I mean?

LIBRARY (smiles) Joy. The word you’re looking for is joy.

They both salute each other and repeat:

BOTH Joy!

Lights shift to bar.

BOB The crazy bastard just might make it.

WIFE He just might!

JERRY We made it to the moon, you know?

BOB Yeah, but there’s a few times we didn’t make it.

JERRY But we made it there. Our footprints are up there, Bob. We made it. It only takes one time.

WIFE It does only take one time, doesn’t it? One time…

BOB/JERRY Salut!

Lights shift to library. WIFE makes her way back to home, and TUCKER has entered the library scene with the submarine book.

LIBRARIAN Hey, we’ve been wasting enough time. You’re over-due to check supplies in the rest room.

JO/E Oh, joy! That’s true joy, Madame Librarian! True joy to supply our constituents with restroom paper products.

TUCKER Excuse me. I just came to return this book.

LIBRARIAN Thank you, young man.

25

JO/E (crossing to TUCKER) I can take it, if you’d like…(notices the book cover) Hey…this is the submarine book. You’re not…

TUCKER Yup.

JO/E Wow. Did he…you know…

TUCKER We don’t know. We haven’t heard anything.

JO/E Wow.

TUCKER Yeah…

JO/E Well…thanks for returning the book.

TUCKER I’m afraid it’s overdue.

LIBRARIAN No need to worry about that, young man.

TUCKER Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. I’ll tell my mom.

JO/E Cool.

TUCKER Yeah.

TUCKER heads to the door while the other two watch.

JO/E LIBRARIAN Hey… Young man?

TUCKER Me?

LIBRARIAN He’s going to be okay.

JO/E It’s really…amazing. What he’s doing. You know?

26

TUCKER (with a little smile) Thanks. I know.

JO/E Hey…come here. Come to the desk with us.

LIBRARIAN What are you doing?

JO/E I’m showing due respect.

JO/E gets three cups out, pours some soda in all three, gives them to the others.

JO/E A toast!

Lights up on all three areas.

BOB/JERRY A toast!

WIFE (to SOPHIA, but SOPHIA doesn’t participate) A toast!

All come forward and to the sky:

ALL To you, Walt. To your journey.

The phone rings at the home. WIFE goes to answer it.

WIFE Hello? (pause) Tokyo? Yes, I’ll accept the charges…Hello? (pause) Oh, my God!

BLACKOUT