The Gazette, Friday, November 22, 2019 — Page 1

Vol. CCLXIV, No. 5 The New Hampshire Gazette Grab Me! November 22, 2019 The Nation’s Oldest ™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com I’m Free!

The Fortnightly Rant Quid Pro So What? he Republican chorus had chances of one’s presumed opponent been chanting for months, as in a fair and unbiased democratic relentlesslyT as Hare Krishnas. Their election? mantra was, “No quid pro quo.” Then With nearly half a billion in U.S. came Gordon Sondland. lethal aid on the table, and Ukraine “Yes,” he said—the formerly ob- fighting the Russians, Donald scure hotelier who, in exchange for a Trump asked Volodymyr Zelensky million-dollar donation to the Pres- to do him a favor. Suddenly, like ident’s Inaugural Committee,* was mushrooms after rain, the Latin made the U.S. Ambassador to the phrase meaning “this for that” was European Union—“quid pro quo.” springing up everywhere. And so another worn-out catch Now it’s gone. Sic transit gloria phrase gets taken out behind the verbiage. barn—or deemed “no longer opera- Head GOP propagandist Frank tive,” as they used to say the last time Luntz is probably in some sound- we rid ourselves of a corrupt Repub- proof room right now, surrounded lican President. by people wearing MAGA hats, What new magic phrase will sweating bullets as he tries to engi- the GOP come up with next? We neer a replacement. should know fairly soon; Republi- Crafting such phrases is tricky cans have a knack for shifting their business. Sometimes they can back- scripts with lightning speed. fire. Just ask Sen. Lindsey Graham Their previous favorite incanta- [R-S.C.], who said, on October look bad—Republicans treated him pardon idea from Pete Hegseth, dent is at death’s door. tion, “no collusion,”—in constant 20th, “If you could show that Trump like something they were anxious to who had been selling it on Fox Our inside sources say it was use for years against the Mueller was engaging in a quid pro quo out- remove from the soles of their Flor- News. Hegseth went to Fox after nothing, really—just a minor flare- inquiry—was starting to feel like side the phone call that would be sheims. running an astroturf veterans outfit up of his bone spurs. a permanent part of the landscape. very disturbing.” Republicans had no objections, for the Koch brothers. Now that “the If politics in the U.S. were a poker When it no longer suited the Pres- History has shown, though, that though, in 1987, when Marine troops” are further imperiled by the game—which might be an improve- ident’s defensive needs, though, it there is a certain invulnerability Lieutenant Colonel Ollie North erosion of military justice, Hegseth ment over our current system—the unceremoniously vanished. built into every staunchly-held Re- testified before Congress in his Ser- is lobbying on behalf of for-profit Republican Party long ago shoved Certain new circumstances re- publican position. Take “support the vice “A” uniform. Not even when he colleges which are grasping for more all its chips to the center of the table, quired new jargon: How best to pass troops,” for example. Any run-of- testified that he’d lied to Congress veterans’ GI Bill money. betting everything on five cards: T, off as innocuous and inconsequen- the-mill grammarian would assume earlier, denying that he’d sold arms White House Press Secretary R, U, M, and P. tial a concerted effort by multiple that imperative statement is abso- to terrorists and given the profits Stephanie Grisham said in a state- This all-in strategy has made for parties to extort false claims from lute. In fact, it’s highly selective. to murderous drug dealers—a little ment on Saturday that the Presi- a lively and entertaining few years. the head of a foreign government On Monday the viewing public wrinkle North called “a neat idea.” dent had taken advantage of a “free Who could ever forget Devin with the intention of destroying the got a refresher course on just how If anything, Republicans’ admi- weekend” in Washington to “begin Nunes’ spot-on impression of John selective. A lieutenant colonel testi- ration has only increased for bad portions of his routine annual phys- Cleese’s Black Knight in Monty Py- * The 2017 Presidential Inauguration Com- mittee is, or has been, under investigation fied in dress blue uniform and full boys in the military—or, to more ical exam” by visiting Walter Reed. thon and the Holy Grail? One has to † by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the regalia. Because he had the temer- properly denote their misbehavior, This was immediately interpreted by wonder, though. How will it end, Southern District of New York, the Eastern ity, though, to show up in uniform war criminals. The Command- those familiar with Grisham’s repu- with so much of our government in District of New York, the Attorneys Gen- ‡ eral of New Jersey and the District of Co- and speak the truth—which just er-in-Chief just issued two pardons, tation as a sure sign that the Presi- the hands of the clearly deranged? lumbia, and the House Judiciary Commit- happened to make their home boy and restored lost rank for a third ‡ In the five months since Grisham was an ad agency, from which she was fired for tee. Mueller’s investigation led to a guilty service member, against the wishes named White House Press Secretary and plagiarizing from AAA Arizona; a stint plea from W. Samuel Patten for failing to † Lieut. Col. Vindman wore the Combat Communications Director, her published as spokesperson for the Arizona Attorney register as a foreign agent. He admitted to Infantry Badge, Airborne Badge, Ranger of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Each of salary would indicate that she’s been paid General, during which time she falsely as- laundering a $50,000 contribution to the Tab, Army Commendation Medal with the pardoned men had been found upwards of $76,000. She has yet to hold serted that a botched two-hour execution Inaugural Committee from Konstantin three oak leaf clusters, Purple Heart rib- guilty of killing civilians in violation a press conference, though. Her resumé she witnessed had been “quite peaceful.” Kilimnik. According to the Mueller Report, bon, &c., &c. That may all just be fruit salad includes a job writing press releases for She also has something in common with Kilimnik has ties to Russian intelligence in the eyes of the uninitiated, but soldiers of the rules of engagement. AAA Arizona, from which she was fired former Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney: agencies, or is himself an agent. know you can’t just buy that stuff at the PX. POTUS no doubt bought the for cheating on expense reports; a job at two drunk driving convictions.

The Alleged News® Can we somehow convince our billionaires to stave off the climate apocalypse? enetians began keeping records St. Mark’s is recognized around towards his relatives, and his inordi- possible, the emission of greenhouse appears to be more like 110 million. of floods in 1872. Since then, the world, of course—even by the nate self-esteem. The rabble settled gasses. Ambitious projects have succeed- Vflood levels as high as 1.5 meters godless heathens in this news- his hash by burning his palace; the We’d best get a move on, too. A ed before: the Manhattan Project, have been recorded many times, but room—as a priceless repository of church of St. Mark, next door, was study published last month in Na- for example, and the Marshall Plan. never more than once a year. Not ineffable, irreplaceable beauty. collateral damage. ture Communications says rising sea Both were the result of a focused until this fortnight, anyway, when Its history is, naturally, unique, The current edifice dates from the levels threaten more people than and determined effort by the Execu- three 1.5-meter floods hit in a span and worth a brief review. The church 11th century. How much longer it had been previously thought—a lot tive Branch of the U.S. Government, of five days. Two people died. was founded in the 9th century, ac- may stand is anyone’s guess. “The more. though, so we might as well forget Mayor Luigi Brugnaro estimated cording to Wikipedia, “to house the damage we see now,” Tesserin said, While coastal elevations are about that approach, at least for the the cost of damages in the “hundreds corpse of St. Mark after wily Ve- “is nothing compared to that within known quite accurately in certain time being. As for Congress, well…. of millions of euros.” The regional netian merchants smuggled it out the walls. The salt enters the marble, places—where the relatively wealthy As our government is currently governor, according to The Guard- of Egypt in a barrel of pork fat.” St. the bricks, everywhere.” live, as it turns out—in other parts constituted, there’s only one force ian, described a scene of “apocalyptic Mark is said to have founded the “Global warming has contributed of the world, the only elevation with the power to solve this prob- devastation.” church of Alexandria; presumably by increasing the sea level and the data available was gathered by radar lem: the plutocracy. If enough of Floods this high submerge as the pork fat was intended to deter strength of the winds that push the during a space shuttle mission in them decided they wanted to imple- much as 80 percent of the city, the close inspection by the customs offi- water towards the city,” Gianfranco 2000. Someone figured out recent- ment the Green New Deal—bingo. lowest point of which is the Piazza cers of the Abbasid Caliphate Bettin, former Deputy Mayor of ly that in such places, the radar was So, what can we, the otherwise San Marco. Carlo Alberto Tesserin, The original church burned and Venice and long-time leader of the reading the tops of trees and houses, powerless, offer billionaires to gain First Procurator of the Basilica of was rebuilt before burning again Greens in the Veneto region told rather than the actual shoreline. their support? Quit bad-mouthing Saint Mark, which faces the Piazza, during a rebellion in 973, or per- Reuters. Under the earlier calculations, them? Fortnightly Adore-a-Thons? told Agence-France Presse the wa- haps 976; accounts disagree. Ap- The best hope for St. Mark’s sal- as many as 28 million people were There must be something…. ter had surged into the basilica with parently the Doge at the time, vation—and for the rest of the plan- thought to be living on land below a force “never seen before, not even Pietro IV Candiano, had made him- et—would be a forceful, coordinated the level of high tide. After adjust- The Alleged News® in the 1966 flood.” self unpopular due to his favoritism global effort to reduce, as rapidly as ing for the error, the true number to page two Page 2 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, November 22, 2019

The Alleged News® about it again last week: In July, “the from page one estimated annual cost savings—’syn- ergy’—to be derived from a merger GateHouse and Merge was ‘something like $200 million.’ Nathan Bomey will go far, under his By August, it was ‘$200 to 300 mil- new corporate overlords. lion.’ Then it was ‘$275–300 million.’ Bomey, USA Today’s “biz trends Now, talk has gone to $400 million reporter,” according to his bio, and beyond, into the range of nearly tweeted on Tuesday, “BREAKING: half a billion dollars.” [Emphasis in the The Gannett-New Media deal has original.] closed. Here’s my interview with the GateHouse is buying Gannett new company’s CEOs on what’s because, though it’s the smaller of next.” He dressed up his news flash the two chains, it’s got better credit. with the photo below: It talked Apollo Global Manage- ment, a private equity fund, into lending it $1.8 billion—at 11.5 per- cent interest. The new company will go by the name Gannett, apparently because it has the least-worst repu- tation of the two. The Portsmouth Herald, aka the What’s this? Exuberant journal- Award-Winning Local Daily, was ists applauding the merger of Gan- gobbled up by GateHouse about nett and GateHouse Media? Nope, six years ago. It had formerly been a nothing to do with that at all. It’s an chattel of ’s News old photo of two USA Today execs Corpse. applauding a Pulitzer win in 2018. Not unexpectedly, the piece Bom- ny’s local and national news brands, ployees in the two companies, and a This merger could cost nine percent There are no smiles today in the ey wrote for USA Today—Gannett’s including USA Today, into a rein- significant portion of the cost reduc- of them their jobs. newsrooms of either outfit. flagship—was, shall we say, upbeat: vented digital media powerhouse.” tions are going to come from things The Wall Street Journal took Ken Doctor, at Harvard’s Nieman “top executives [are now] in position TheColumbia Journalism Review’s other than people. But, obviously, Reed’s blithe assertion at face value, Journalism Lab, has been tracking to move ahead with plans they be- Mathew Ingram is less sanguine. He people’s a part of this as well. Out though, headlining its story, “Gan- the merger since July, and wrote lieve will transform the new compa- tweeted, “A reminder that 90 per- of 24,000 people in the company, nett Looks to Spare Journalists’ Jobs cent of corporate mergers not only there’s about 2,500 that are actual- After Big Newspaper Merger.” fail to generate revenue-generating ly writing stories every day. So it’s a Reed and Bascobert boasted, in synergies but actually wind up de- small number, relative to 24,000. So USA Today, that the merger would stroying value.” there’s so much opportunity beyond create a “reinvented digital media Michael E. Reed, ex-CEO of the newsroom for us to go get these powerhouse,” that would “counter- New Media, the holding compa- efficiencies.” act the news industry’s severe print ny which owned GateHouse, will Somehow, Reed balances his revenue decline with new sources of have an analogous position as the commitment to well-staffed news- digital dollars.” head of the new corporate behe- rooms with an apparent disdain Sounds great, as long as you don’t moth. Paul Bascobert, the CEO of for members of the News Guild. “I read Jesse Frederik and Maurits Gannett, will run what they’re call- frankly think the Guild’s a big prob- Martijn, over at The Correspondent: ing Gannett’s operating company. lem, and until we can get them to “The new dot com bubble is here: Meanwhile some poor drone works sit at a table and have a real discus- it’s called online advertising.” full-time just drawing up organiza- sion about where the world is today, –=≈=– tional charts. there’s going to be inefficiencies.” Celebrating Peace: A Work in Progress In an interview with the New Nieman’s Ken Doctor calculates by Robert C. Koehler York Times, Reed “said the bulk of that “[i]n any room of eight people Veterans For Peace, an organization the savings ‘is not going to come at a current GateHouse or Gannett that speaks truth to war like nobody from editorial,’ meaning newsrooms operation, one is likely to see her job else, is attempting to reclaim Ar- would be largely spared.” Prodded gone in 2020. One in eight would mistice Day, the November 11th for more detail, though, Reed react- add up to 3,450 of the combined holiday that was flipped on its head ed like an octopus, emitting a cloud companies’ 27,600 jobs.” Accord- 65 years ago when it was renamed It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but throngs of shoppers clog the sidewalks of ink: “I can’t give you an exact ing to the Brookings Institution, Veterans Day—and became a cele- on every pleasant day. Last Saturday, being bright and sunny, was no ex- number, but almost nothing. I mean, there are only 37,900 newsroom bration not of the end of war but of ception. It’s so predictable that after a while it starts to get monotonous…. just for context, there’s 24,000 em- employees left in the country now. its perpetuity. 18th century advertising rates

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Sometimes Old is Good “Happy The Fechheimer Building, one of the fin- to est examples of a cast-iron facade in Port- Support land, Oregon, was built in 1885. Listed in Register of Historic Places, Progressive it was restored in 1981 by Russell Fellows Journalism Properties, the principals of which enjoy a subscription to this newspaper. and The New Hampshire Gazette” – Joe Keefe The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, November 22, 2019 — Page 3

The name change occurred in is in the White House. Not just on 1954. The Korean War had recent- gross displays like Trump’s proposed ly “ended,” the Cold War and the circus but on how we organize and nuclear arms race were seriously how the effects of militarism show revving up and, of course, that other up in all of our spaces and com- world war, nine years past, was still munities. The reality is that almost vividly a part of everyone’s con- every single domestic platform on a sciousness. There was near-infinite progressive agenda can be funded by cynicism about the whole idea of the overinflated military budget.” “the war to end all wars”…yeah, sure, On this reclaimed American day what a joke. That’ll never happen. of peace, this day of looking at what But in reclaiming Armistice we must do, I attended an Armistice Day—and holding events across the Day event in Chicago, sponsored country honoring the current strug- by the local VFP chapter. To a large gle to create peace—Veterans For extent, the focal point was the city’s Peace is also reclaiming a cry of pain schools and the needs of its chil- and anger: The so-called Great War, dren. Not coincidentally, a Chicago with its mustard gas and trench- Teachers Union strike had just end- es, its shellshock and influenza, its ed. The union’s demands were more 20 million dead, was unnecessary than better pay and benefits for and should have been the last. It is teachers, but such matters as: reclaiming a profound, global com- “All students need individual mitment to War No More. attention from their teachers. We Veterans Day celebrates—glori- cannot provide that level of atten- fies—the past. Armistice Day speaks tion when we have more than 40 to, and attempts to create, the future. students in a kindergarten or any What is peace? How can it happen? other class.” The question hovers like a star. And, in a system that recently Writing on November 11th, VFP made a $33 million agreement with clinicians at national recommend- progress and our slowly growing Veterans Day may claim to hon- executive director Garett Reppenha- the Chicago Police Department ed ratios; hire more case managers; awareness of what it requires, such as or vets, but it isn’t about honoring gen put it thus: “We absolutely need for policing in schools, the Teach- full-time librarian and Restorative “a Restorative Justice coordinator in the ones who have struggled with to start pushing back on militarism ers Union called for “hiring social Justice coordinator in every school.” every school”—hallelujah. The core PTSD and committed suicide. in all its forms and regardless of who workers, counselors, nurses, other This is the future, created one of Restorative Justice is the healing Matthew Hoh, for instance, notes brick at a time. We can’t “celebrate” circle, where participants. sitting in that far more Afghan and Iraq vets peace without asking what it re- vibrant equality, address conflict by have committed suicide than were quires. Indeed, peace is about ask- listening to multiple points of view, killed in the wars themselves. He ing the big questions. This is where figuring out what has been harmed writes: it begins. Peace is always a work in and deciding how it can be healed. “To visually understand this con- progress. It’s the opposite of a perfunctory, bu- cept that the killing in war does not One of the panelists at the Ar- reaucratic solution, i.e., punishment, end when the soldiers come home, mistice Day event was part of an which can seem so simple to some- think of the Vietnam Veterans Me- organization called Voices of Youth one removed from the reality of it, morial in Washington, DC, The in Chicago Education, or VOYCE, but exacts a harsh cost on young Wall, with its 58,000 names. Now which several years ago had released people in the process of growing visualize The Wall but lengthen it a report on the school system called up. In the inner city, it’s called the by some 1,000-2,000 feet to include “Failed Policies, Broken Futures: school-to-prison pipeline. the 100,000 to 200,000 plus Viet- The True Cost of Zero Tolerance in An externally maintained, unsta- nam veterans who are estimated Chicago,” which found that Chica- ble state of order—whether in the to have been lost to suicide, while go Public Schools’ “overuse of harsh public schools or the community of keeping space available to continue disciplinary measures has cost the nations—is not peace. to add names for as long as Vietnam city tens of millions of dollars in the Reclaiming Armistice Day does veterans survive, because the suicides short term and hundreds of millions not mean applauding the illusory will never stop.” of dollars in the long-term, divert- peace that was achieved on Novem- This is the armistice that has yet to The Central Veterans Council can always be counted upon to observe Vet- ing resources from more effective ber 11, 1918, but it could well mean be achieved. erans Day in a dignified manner, regardless of whatever shenanigans the approaches to school safety.” looking with unwavering clarity and Robert Koehler, syndicated by Peace- Commander-in-Chief may be up to. Captain Daniel Ettlich, Commander This reclaimed day is every day, courage at this illusion. War doesn’t Voice, is a Chicago award-winning of the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, delivered this year’s remarks. a celebration of the future that’s in work. journalist and editor.

Murph’s Fortnightly Quote

“To suppress free speech is a double wrong. “The two most common elements in the universe It violates the rights of the hearer are hydrogen and stupidity.” “We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered as well as those of the speaker.” Harlan Ellison (1934 – 2018), American writer once in a while. How long is it since you were really both- – Frederick Douglass (1818-1895) [email protected] ered? About something important, about something real?”

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We are pleased to announce that, thanks to volunteer distributors, this newspaper can now be found at the following locations: Concord: The State House Visitor’s Center, Gibson’s Book Store, 45 S. Main St. A Constantly-Changing Selection of Concord COOP Grocery Store, 24 S. Main St. Concord Public Library, 45 Green St. New & Used Books in both Franklin Pierce Law School, 2 White St. Hard Cover & Paperback Hanover: Your Coffee, Ice Cream, Children Group tours year-round by appointment! Hanover Public Library, 13 South St. & Pets Are All Welcome Keene: Store Hours Keene Public Library, 60 Winter St. Mon - Sat: 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Sun: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. Lebanon: Lebanon Public Library, 9 E. Park St. Page 4 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, November 22, 2019

Never Mind the Flag—Salute the AR-15! Rights and to establish the processes To the Editor: and mechanisms needed to take away The Democrat [sic, passim] Presi- all guns from law-abiding people. dential Primary has indicated what Democrat attacks on “assault weap- Democrat leaders usually hide, but ons” aren’t intended to make Ameri- which President Obama and Senator cans safer; they are intended to make Feinstein have let slip, that Democrat government stronger and citizens less lin, was debunked by Franklin himself, leaders, like tyrants world-wide, want safe, more dependent, and less free. in a September 27, 1760 letter to David to disarm law-abiding citizens. Benjamin Franklin said, “People Hume. These candidates mostly only dis- willing to trade their freedom for You claim that “most violent gun conspiracy theories in an effort to de- agree on whether to take so called “as- temporary security deserve neither crimes are committed by known criminals fend the obvious crimes committed by ficer came with severe professional and sault weapons” (e.g., AR-15s, AK-47s) and will lose both.” who usually aren’t legally allowed to have Mr. Trump. The testimony of witness- legal consequences. The same should by force or “voluntarily” (but usually The Second Amendment is said to a gun.” Your math regarding gun deaths es, and even Trump’s own call summa- be true for members of Congress and with consequences for non-compli- be the most important Amendment is as suspect as your quote attribution. A ry, have clearly demonstrated that Mr. the President, otherwise, these oaths ance). because it protects all our Constitu- 1998 study by Emory University’s Cen- Trump withheld critical military aid are nothing more than meaningless They justify taking “assault weap- tional Rights (like our Freedoms of ter for Injury Control found that “For ev- for Ukraine to defend against Russian ceremonial words and a fraud. ons” as needed to make people safer. Religion and Speech which are also ery time a gun in the home was used in a aggression, and an Oval Office visit by Rich DiPentima, LTC, USAF Ret. But “assault weapons” are rarely used attacked). self-defense or legally justifiable shooting, Ukraine President Zelensky, in order Portsmouth, N.H. to commit violent crimes. Eliminat- Many actions could make us safer there were four unintentional shootings, to get President Zelensky to publicly Rich: ing illegal immigration would save ten without depriving Americans of our seven criminal assaults or homicides, and announce an investigation into the We hate to tell you, but all the evidence times more lives. Just reducing Chi- rights and freedoms, e.g., better law 11 attempted or completed suicides.” Bidens. This was not an attempted suggests that that oath means a lot more to cago’s murder rate by 20-30 percent enforcement, ending illegal immigra- Thank you for the opportunity to point bribe, but one which actually took you than it does to Republican Members (doable if Chicago Democrats cared) tion, severely penalizing violent gun out the emptiness of your…arguments. place. President Zelensky had sched- of Congress. would save about as many lives. Dem- offenders and illegal gun possessors, We only wish we had more time and a uled a news Conference on CNN to The Editor ocrats know this, but making people and protecting schools. These are all finer comb. announce the investigation, which was –=≈=– safer doesn’t seem to be their priority. doable but of little interest to Demo- The Editor cancelled once the military aid, that Property Taxes are Servitude Since taking “assault weapons” from crats. –=≈=– had earlier been approved by Con- To the Editor: law-abiding people won’t make people Democrats, like tyrants and want- Fraudulent Oath-Takers gress and signed into law by Trump, A quote from the Nomad Capitalist safer, Democrats will then demand to-be tyrants, want to take guns from Dear Sir: was finally released on September 11, article by Andrew Henderson: “If you taking other guns, but this won’t make law-abiding people because people’s Since 1966, Title 5, Section 3331 of 2019. The aid was released as a result own property in the western world, people safer either. Democrats intend gun rights are not the only rights they the Code has required of two Congressional Committees in- not only have you taken a long posi- to repeat this cycle until law-abiding want to eliminate. members of Congress to take the fol- vestigating the hold, and the fact that tion on your government’s declining people are totally disarmed. Don Ewing lowing oath; “I do solemnly swear (or the Defense Department found the currency, but you have also signed up But this won’t make us much saf- Meredith, N.H. affirm) that I will support and defend withholding had no legal basis. for a lifetime of indentured servitude. er since most violent gun crimes are Don: the Constitution of the United States There are only two crimes specif- For all of your government’s efforts to committed by known criminals who Ah, yes—”so-called” assault weap- against all enemies, foreign and do- ically listed in the Constitution that promote home ownership over rent- usually aren’t legally allowed to have ons. We’ll grant that the term is squishy mestic; that I will bear truth faith and warrant impeachment: treason and ing, the reality is that property owners a gun. enough to be nearly useless. For Second allegiance to the same; that I take this bribery. Bribery refers to the offering, are the biggest renters of all.” Democrats have conducted a Amendment fundamentalists to pre- obligation freely, without any mental giving, soliciting, or receiving of any So [according to] Karl Marx’s Com- multi-decade attack on “assault weap- tend, though, that an AR-15 bears any reservation or purpose of evasion, and item of value as a means of influenc- munist Manifesto, taxes for that form ons” to make people believe that these resemblance to grandpa’s Winchester ‘94 that I will well and faithfully discharge ing the actions of an individual hold- of socialism [must derive from] real are horrible super-weapons that sane is ludicrous. the duties of the office on which I am ing a public or legal duty. Solicitation estate property, aka “land rents,” … people would want to eliminate. But Your suggesting that barring the un- about to enter. So help me God.” of a bribe also constitutes a crime and paid to the government. they aren’t super-weapons. Yes, some documented—no person is illegal, there Notably absent from this oath are is completed regardless of whether the In New Hampshire’s “Live Free or are used (like other types of weapons) are only those who commit illegal acts, like the words, party, power, or president. solicitation in the receipt of a valuable Die,” if you miss paying your property in a few horrible crimes annually, but your President, for example—would save Unfortunately, as I witness the cur- gift (Cornell Law School). This de- taxes on your home here you will lose millions of law-abiding Americans more lives than banning military-style, rent impeachment hearings, I wonder scribes Mr. Trump’s actions with Pres- it very soon, even if you think, with no own them and use them lawfully and high-capacity semi-automatic weap- if the Republican members have any ident Zelensky to the letter. debt on it from the bank or anyone constructively every day for things like ons—is comparing apples and bull… recollection of the oath they took, or The members of Congress who else, “I own it out right.” home defense, hunting, and/or target frogs. if they have any understanding of its openly and knowingly ignore and Think again—this [is] from the shooting. We believe ballots are more essential to meaning and purpose. They continue violate their oath of office are no less New Hampshire state tax collector’s Democrats know that taking away democracy than bullets, and we suspect to demonstrate that their allegiance is guilty of crimes than Trump. They are web page: “Failure to pay taxes, penal- “assault weapons” won’t make people leading Republicans agree—why else not to the Constitution, but rather to in effect, accomplices and co-conspir- ties or interest when due or assessed, or safer. would they work so hard to restrict vot- their control of power, their political ators to Trump’s bribery. They have to comply with the tax laws may result Democrats demand taking “assault ing access? party and Donald Trump. They con- chosen to support and defend Trump, in the following actions: weapons” to get people to accept in- The quotation about trading liberty for tinue to distort reality, twist facts, at- party and power, not the constitution. “Liens may be placed upon your real fringement of their Constitutional security, which you attribute to Frank- tack witneses, and promote debunked A violation of my oath as a military of- estate, personal property, and proper-

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New Hampshire does not maintain hundreds of millions in aid money to real-time monitoring devices. Instead, Guatemala, Honduras and El Salva- TLDs [thermoluminescent dosim- dor, trying to coerce them into stop- eter] (passive monitors) are located ping people fleeing gang violence in throughout the 17 towns within the those countries from traveling north 10-mile Emergency Planning Zone. to the U.S. He strong armed Guate- quite comfortable under this arrange- These monitors are collected and mala’s President into claiming that ment, spared as they are of any sales or evaluated for signs of radiation every country was a safe haven for asylum income tax. That’s the much-touted “New 3-5 months. They do not provide any seekers, even those fleeing his own Karl Marx’s dream of control of your Hampshire Advantage”—which accrues real-time actionable information, and country. ty interests including bank accounts, productivity is alive and well here in almost entirely to them. are not capable of detecting low level It is clear Trump cares nothing accounts receivable, security interests, New Hampshire, more so than most The Editor radiation releases, or releases that only about the lives of others. What I find and similar items. Also, the liened states, we are 49th worst. –=≈=– last a few hours or a day. unfathomable is that so many of the property may be subjected to tax sale. If you want to “Live Free or Die” Seabrook: Trust But Independently Verify That is why the Citizens Initiative pro-life evangelicals do not either. It “Distraint (i.e., notice of seizure in New Hampshire you have to use To the Editor: for Radiological Monitoring is sup- is time they stopped saying they care of property), may be issued and the capitalism over Marx’s central control When President Reagan said: porting bills sponsored by Sen. Tom about the sanctity of life and start say- seized property sold with the proceeds socialism—meaning the state “takes” “Trust but verify,” he was commenting Sherman and myself to convince state ing they only care about the sanctity applied to the balance owed. rather than it receives “freely” from its on the need to independently verify agencies to replace the TLDs with re- of the fetus. “If you have a license from the De- governed, what we can afford. nuclear weapons treaties. However, al-time devices. Since Oct. 2018, this Walter Hamilton partment, proceedings may be started The only tax not wanted by Karl based on my professional experience initiative has already raised $40,000 Portsmouth N.H. to revoke or suspend your license.” Marx was a sales tax, it was too as a physicist, I believe this philosophy in private pledges toward a goal of Walter: Now my wife and I have a dilemma, free-market capitalism. People spend should be applied to all areas related to $60,000 needed for hardware devices. An excellent point. Sadly, correcting now that our property taxes have out- what they have, by about 92-98 per- health and safety. Additional fund-raisers are planned this situation would seem to require a paced both of our income[s], and this cent of their income, and a sales tax re- In fact, the verify part should always such as a January 7, 2020 event at Flat- wholesale change of heart among Repub- is why: 55 years ago, our three-genera- flects how well the economy the state be in the hands of an entity that is not bread Company in Portsmouth. licans in general, and anti-choice religious tion property, that my mother bought, government has provided, or not. involved with the activity to be veri- On December 1st, at 3:00 p.m., a re- zealots in particular. had a tax bill of $150 in 1965. The New Hampshire has many sales fied. ception is planned at a home in Ports- The Editor average income in the United States taxes—the real estate sales tax, car Here on our New Hampshire Sea- mouth to provide more information –=≈=– then was $6,900…. Since then our registration tax, rooms and meals coast we are dealing with significant about the Citizens Initiative and solic- Tribute to “the Meryl Streep of Generals” home taxes have increased to $14,700. tax, liquor sales, cable and phone tax, environmental concerns, e.g. in our air, it more support. If you are interested in To the Editor: For our taxes to increase to [the] mooring tax, building permit tax, &c. water and soil. We have also identi- attending this event, or wish to receive Former Secretary of Defense James amount that the town and the state They all are free choice taxes. You fied some pediatric cancer clusters, for more information contact Rep. Peter Mattis, a well-respected retired U.S. demand today, the taxes every year choose the value of your car and there- which no one can identify the cause. Somssich at staterep27@myfairpoint. Marine Corps General, who served since have compounded yearly by 8.9 fore the annual registration tax-value That is why I believe it is important net or call (603) 436-5221. his nation admirably for 40 years, percent. tax. None of these taxes force you out to use the best available technology to Rep. Peter Somssich should consider a new career in come- Crime in crimson blood of my fam- of your home. monitor our environment for hazards. [email protected] dy. He had Al Smith Dinner attendees ily’s hard earned labor being taken! So my Republican and One such potential source is nuclear Portsmouth, N.H. in stitches with his brilliant response This means the average income Democrat[ic] friends, which princi- radiation originating from Seabrook –=≈=– to President Trump’s criticism of him. since 1965 should have increased 8.9 ples of government do you want to Power Station. Currently, our neigh- Trump, Evangelicals and Human Rights After Mattis critiqued Trump’s di- percent every year to $632,887 to be support—Marx’s socialism, or “free” boring towns in Massachusetts are To the Editor: sastrous Syria policy, Trump claimed equal in what the state expects us to market principles? Time to ax the benefiting from real-time radiologi- Last week three women and six Mattis “is the world’s most overrated afford! How many of you increase your home tax, so the citizens are not rent- cal monitoring under the supervision of their children were gunned down general.” Mattis responded against income every year by 8.9 percent? I am ers evicted from their homes. of the Massachusetts Department of in Mexico. The women were in two Trump’s childish tantrum when he tired of the everyone pointing to the Jeff Frost Safety, while New Hampshire towns separate SUVs which were far apart said, “I’m honored to be considered taxes paid by the top one percent— Alexandria, N.H. have no such real-time monitoring. from each other. It wasn’t one case of that by Donald Trump because he also they are not the other 99 percent be- Jeff: That network in Massachusetts has mistaken identity. These were Ameri- called Meryl Streep an overrated ac- ing hit by the hammer and then the Interesting. You realize of course that already reported incidents of elevated can citizens. Their families had refused tress. So I guess I’m the Meryl Streep eviction from your home if you can by your assessment, Meldrim Thomp- levels that exceeded three times and as to pay protection money to the drug of generals.” not pay. son Jr., William Loeb, both Governors high as 17 times background. cartels. Initially, I was concerned about You do not own your home, no one Sununu, and virtually every Republican The Nuclear Regulatory Commis- This is a country President Trump Mattis. Given our President’s obvious does or ever has. The state does, you in the state going back at least half a cen- sion (NRC) does require and oversees claims is safe enough for those seek- fetish for authoritarian and military just rent it, and you can not control the tury, are all Marxists. We hope that irony such monitoring in the immedi- ing asylum in this country to stay for strongmen, I’d found it quite discon- rent they demand every year—Marx’s helps ease the pain you clearly feel. ate areas around Seabrook, which is months before being allowed into this certing when I heard Trump tell a “land rents.” That pain is shared by the great ma- equipped with modern instruments country to make their plea. crowd of his supporters in Cincinnati, It is neither “free” nor likely you will jority of New Hampshire homeowners and has highly trained technicians op- Trump threatened Mexico with big “die” in your home if you live in it your who are not independently wealthy. erating those instruments. tariffs if the country did not agree to Mash Notes, Hate Mail, &c. whole life and do not win the lottery. Meanwhile, the wealthy continue to be But outside that area, the State of hold these asylum seekers. He stopped to page six

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The Northcountry Chronicle Old Pine Tree by William Marvel gest that no trees of any size stood globes for the electric lights that nearer than the road. As late as 1942, hung from chains all around the round breakfast time on Sat- the new building was referred to as room are gone, and electric or pro- urday morning, January 31, “Conway Center School,” but some- pane fixtures have replaced the hiss- 1914,A the “splendid” new school- time thereafter it came to known as ing, clanking radiators. The round house in Center Conway burned to Pine Tree School, for a double row wall clock no longer clicks its way the ground. It was a suspicious fire, of white pines that lined the drive- interminably toward three o’clock, since there was no school that day, way. Those pines seemed old to those far above the shelves that held our but the cause was never determined. of us who took recess beneath them reading books and extra paper. The school board had only insured during the Eisenhower adminis- Unlike most of my classmates, I the building for $1,500, much to the tration, and in the 1990s one of the cruelty that seemed to motivate the For nearly three decades the old did not learn my letters in that room. indignation of the community. It stumps allegedly revealed about 100 tyrant of the fifth and sixth grades, school served as the recreation cen- I was already reading and writing would not be the last time that board rings, but they had not been there in and when I split my chin open on ter, surviving even harder use than when I arrived. Boredom with the outraged its constituents. 1915. Probably no one survives with the ice she was very kind to me. it endured from three-quarters of instruction led to a lot of time spent By the autumn of 1915, classes a memory long enough to resolve Parents today would cringe at a century of grammar-school stu- beneath Mrs. Masterton’s desk, or had begun in a solid new building on that mystery. the perils we faced. Our playground dents. It remains fairly solid, but banished to the hallway outside. I a concrete foundation. Three of the I first set foot in Pine Tree School consisted of an unfenced softball building codes that have been im- passed many hours staring at the four rooms were filled with 61 stu- exactly 40 years after it first opened. field where older boys could send posed with such relentless good in- treetops, daydreaming, but I also met dents. During the first six weeks of By then, all four rooms were filled a fly ball into the road, or into the tentions make the cost of renovating my oldest surviving friends in the classes none of the students missed with two grades apiece, and I expect- cemetery beyond, and one of us it prohibitive, so it will almost cer- bright sunlight that poured down on a day, while there were only three ed to remain until June of 1963. The would run for it. Railroad tracks tainly be torn down. With that in us through those tall windows. instances of tardiness—perhaps be- young man teaching the seventh and defined the rear boundary of the mind, I recently made what I sup- Most of those who settled into cause there used to be consequences eighth grades served as principal be- school, and the Maine Central rum- pose will be my last visit. their seats on the morning of Sep- for arriving late. The first two grades cause, unlike the three aging women bled through at least once each day, Mrs. Masterton’s room looked tember 6, 1955 have gone into re- were under Miss Elsie Wickens, there, he had a college degree. In the often at recess. There was no fence much smaller than I remembered. tirement or under the sod. So far who had begun her teaching career first two grades our teacher was the to keep us off the tracks, either, for The windowsills that I could barely I have done neither, however, and at the ill-fated earlier school in 1912. former Elsie Wickens, whom we in those days even children were ex- peer over in 1955 barely reach my demolishing the still-useful scene of A 1915 photo of the new school knew as Mrs. Masterton. Like her pected to exercise a bare minimum crotch. The blackboard that used our early education feels very much shows the yard clear of vegetation, colleagues she was a strict discipli- of sense, and those who didn’t were to loom above us is still there, but like an impatient generation’s way of and reflections in the windows sug- narian, but she lacked the touch of considered expendable. it seems to sit far lower. The white dismissing us early. from page five to make an impact. We don’t know yet if Rudy of- “We are going to appoint ‘Mad Dog’ fered Trump a piece of his nefari- Mattis as our Secretary of Defense.” ous scheme. Number 3 got Trump’s Trump and his supporters were no and showing it.” Rudy was cooking up some cor- response, a shameful slandering of doubt drawn to Mattis’ nickname. During his short two-and-a-half Nationalism. rupt scheme with his two indicted Yovanovitch’s respected reputation. However, it turns out that General years as the Pentagon head, Mattis Mattis, when further pressed at co-conspirators (Lev Parnas and Like Putin, Erdogan, and Kim Mattis much preferred being re- did his best, out of a sense of pa- the dinner, continued, perfectly cap- Igor Fruman), involving a Ukrainian Jong Un, Rudy knows a simple tool ferred to as the “Warrior Monk,” triotism and devotion, and was not turing the essence of Trump (and energy company. Their plan required manipulates a simple fool. which is far more fitting of his afraid to push back hard, when no those that follow and enable him), “I getting rid of Maria Yovanovitch. Bruce Joffe scholarly demeanor. sycophant Republicans or Trump earned my spurs on the battlefield... How to get Trump to dump her? Piedmont, Calif. SecDef Mattis quickly assuaged Cabinet members were willing to Donald Trump earned his spurs in a Sure, he could legally fire her for no Bruce: my concerns when I watched him do so, on Trump’s worst impulses. letter from a doctor.” reason, but Rudy & Co. had to mo- We realize your consistent failure (via YouTube) addressing a large Mattis stood strong against Trump’s Wayne H. Merritt tivate Trump to do it. to capitalize the name Trump was group of military personnel in Af- policies and attitudes about torture, Dover, N.H. Three actions get his attention: probably intentional. It is certainly ghanistan, appealing to their better authoritarian regimes, LGBQT is- –=≈=– (1) flatter him, (2) show him how understandable. We capitalized it out angels: “Our country right now, it’s sues in the military, the important A Simple Tool for a Simple Fool he could profit financially, or (3) tell of respect, not for the individual, but of got problems we don’t have in the NATO alliance, the threat from Pu- Dear Editor, him someone said something bad editorial standards. military. You just hold the line un- tin and Russia, diplomacy, the threat The impeachment hearings re- about him. The Editor til our country gets back to under- of Global Climate Change, the Iran vealed a simple tool that manipu- Too many people have already de- standing and respecting each other Nuclear Deal, and the rise of White lates the President. based themselves flattering Trump –=≈=–

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Why would we trust plutocrats to save us from plutocracy? by Jim Hightower taminating, consumer-gouging these new champions of the com- nopoly power to squeeze out small fend off the actual changes that real corporations are asking us to be- mon good propose no specifics—no competitors and gouge consumers, reformers are advancing. Corporate alph Waldo Emerson once lieve that they stand with us in the actual sacrifices by them or bene- won’t support measures to stop cli- elites won’t fix inequality for us— wrote of being leery of a fast- fight against…well, against them. fits for us. A few media observers mate change, won’t back reforms to they’re the ones doing it to us. Rtalking huckster who visited his From Wall Street banksters to Big have mildly objected, saying it’s “an get their corrupt corporate money –=≈=– home: “The louder he talked of his Oil polluters, these profiteers are open question” whether any of the out of our politics…won’t embrace Populist author, public speaker, and honor, the faster we counted our suddenly trumpeting their future corporate proclaimers will change any of the big structural changes radio commentator Jim Hightower spoons,” Emerson exclaimed. intentions to serve not just their how they do business. But it’s not necessary to reverse the raw eco- writes The Hightower Lowdown, a Likewise, today’s workaday fam- own greed, but every “stakeholder” an open question at all. They won’t. nomic and political inequality that monthly newsletter chronicling the ilies should do a mass inventory of (which is what they call employees, They won’t support full collective has enthroned their plutocratic rule. ongoing fights by America’s ordinary their silverware, for the fast-talking customers, suppliers, et al). bargaining power for workers, won’t In fact, their empty proclamation people against rule by plutocratic elites. CEOs of 181 union-busting, But vague proclamations are join the public’s push to get Medi- is what West Texas cowboys might Sign up at HightowerLowdown.org. tax-cheating, environment-con- cheap, and it’s worth noting that care for All, won’t stop using mo- call “bovine excrement,” meant to –=≈=– from page six –=≈=– Another Correction The Failures of a Con Artist To the Editor: To the Editor: This is a small correction, hard- Donald Trump promised to do uranium. tionship with a young woman. To- ly worth publication, but the error wondrous things for us during his 6. To “drain the swamp” of lob- just too hot to handle.” day, some of those same people are nevertheless grates on me whenever presidential campaign: byists, special interests and corrup- I learned from those experiences supporting and protecting a presi- I see it in print. 1. To build a border wall paid tion. So far, at least 20 people in the (1) to keep my mouth shut, (2) that dent who lies practically every time In the front-page article (below for by Mexico. As of July 2019, 60 Trump administration have been no one wants to hear about fraud, he opens his mouth, who has abused the fold) about [Ed “Meese is a miles of replacement wall has been forced to resign and/or been in- waste, abuse, or corruption (we’re the power of his office many times Pig”] Meese in your October 11th completed, plus a two-mile stretch dicted—more than any president in living in very strange and difficult over, who has destroyed so many edition, you refer to his promotion to of steel slats which are being sawed history. times). When I was about a week norms of American life that we once colonel in the “Army Reserves [sic].” through by drug dealers. Since Mex- Do you imagine President Trump into a new job in education here in took for granted there is no space to The proper name of that branch is ico and Congress have declined to awake in the wee hours worrying North Carolina in 2001, the social list them all, who derides decorated “Army Reserve” (in which I served fund the wall, President Trump, in about us average Americans as he worker in charge said, “David, you’re combat veterans as “human scum,” for 28 years). The collective name of defiance of Congress, has reallocated roams the halls of Mar-a-Lago intimidating me by the way you’re who endangers national security, the reserve units for all the military from the defense budget, $2.5 bil- tweeting? No, neither do I. He is sitting.” Instead of saying, “I’ve been and trashes our Constitution. services is “reserves.” lion dedicated to anti-drug funding worrying, however, about how to sitting this way for 60 years Baby Donald Trump has knowingly I recently relocated to Portsmouth and $3.6 billion intended for mili- con us into voting for him again. Cakes, you’ll just have to get used to engaged in numerous impeachable and look forward to each new edi- tary construction projects. Cynthia Muse it,” I muttered something along the acts as a means of placing his own tion of your paper. 2. To give us a “phenomenal” Rye, N.H. lines of, “Yes, Ma’am, how would interest above the national interest Steve Glazer health care plan. The Republicans –=≈=– you prefer I sit?” In exchange for and the Republican Party and a Lieut. Col., U.S. Army (Ret.) have no plan and since President The Beginning of the GOP’s End? my integrity, I got to hang on to a substantial percentage of his follow- Portsmouth, N.H. Trump took office the number of Dear Editor: not-so-good job another seven years, ers continue to support and defend PS—Although a modern style Americans without health insurance Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, amidst the guiding principles of di- him. Shame. On. You. manual I have not yet seen may per- has increased by 7 million. Middle Madam Speaker, members of Con- versity and fragile feminism. We are witnessing only the be- haps differ, unless used in a named income people with private insur- gress, I am NOT the whistleblower, It occurs to me that the two ma- ginning of the impeachment pro- person’s title, military rank is not ance are unable to pay their hospital but oh how I wish I was. I would jor political parties in the United ceedings, and at the same time the capitalized. Hence, Meese obtained bills, due to large deductibles and wear a black suit, pink shirt with a States, working unwittingly in tan- possible beginning of the end of the a promotion to “colonel.” copayments. black tie (the colors that defined my dem (each taking the lead role at Republican Party. If the Repub- Steve: 3. To cut our taxes. His tax plan generation) and walk into the Hear- random intervals) have managed to lican Party fails to demand either Thank you. Our chagrin at having was a gift to the wealthy with two- ing Room dragging a string of tin change the fundamental character- the resignation of President Trump made this error is ameliorated by the thirds of it going to the richest fifth cans. istics and the underlying sentiments or fails to impeach and demand his kindness you have shown in alerting of Americans. The cut did not pro- There comes a time in one’s life that formed the beliefs, customs, the removal, it will have failed the test of us to it. duce the promised 4 percent growth when each of us has to stand up and very spirit of our culture, the moral character, and will well deserve to be The Editor in the economy, which is currently be held accountable and it’s some- order of things we once considered thrown on the pyre of Trump’s burn- –=≈=– growing at 2 percent. times hard to know when that time inviolate. ing presidency and lost in oblivion “The children are fat and happy when 4. To reduce the national debt is. I’ve been in the position of whis- They have rendered us perplexed, on the ash-heap of history. when they eat KKK Flour biscuits.” “very quickly.” The national debt has tleblower twice, did what I though puzzled, and bewildered, and for David L. Snell The Atlanta Constitution, increased from $19 trillion to $22 was the right thing on both occa- this alone they should be ashamed. Franklin, N.C. Advertisement, August 18, 1908 trillion and growing since President sions, and was fired twice. Both in- Were this all we had to contend with David: –=≈=– Trump took office because spending volved mental health agencies (two it would be, on its own, a formidable The Republican Party’s enthusiastic “If all printers were determined not has outpaced income. different states), both very legitimate undertaking. support for George W.[MD] Bush’s un- to print anything till they were sure it 5. To get out of the Iran Nuclear complaints. The second time I tried Twenty plus years ago a Republi- provoked war on Iraq was more than would offend nobody, there would be Treaty. Trump has kept that promise to involve . “We believe you, can Congress impeached a president sufficient for us. very little printed.” and Iran has now resumed enriching Mr. Snell,” the reporter said, “but it’s who had a consensual sexual rela- The Editor — Benjamin Franklin

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Alternative Clothing & Goods 21st century results 33 Vaughan Mall • Portsmouth, NH 03801 • (603) 431-2243 (603) 433-9898 Page 8 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, November 22, 2019 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first whom you choose to believe. drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets all Badger’s Island, bobbing around in and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded The Piscataqua’s ferocious current gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around that water go. All the seawater that the current. It weighs several tons, Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded is caused by the tide, which, in fill 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, just fought its way upstream goes and it bobs and bounces in the oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the turn, is caused by the moon. The the river and into Great Bay. This under Memorial Bridge, past the back home to the ocean. This is current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, other player is a vast sunken valley creates a roving hydraulic conflict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. when the Piscataqua earns its title The river also has its placid mo- They leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-flowing navigable — Great Bay — about ten miles as incoming sea and the outgoing This can best be seen when the tide for xth fastest current. Look for the ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on upriver. Twice a day, the moon river collide. The skirmish line is rising. red buoy, at the upstream end of When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge. Sunday, November 24 Monday, November 25 Tuesday, November 26 Wednesday, November 27 Thursday, November 28 Friday, November 29 Saturday, November 30

2006—“The only way we can win [in 1997—In Plymouth, Mass., police 2000—Katherine Harris, Florida’s 2002—Donald Rumsfeld signs off 2014—Cards Against Humanity, to 2015—Professing concern about the 2001—Two days before filing for Iraq],” says George W. Bush, “is to serve Native American demonstrators Secretary of State and, coincidentally, on “Category III” interrogation tech- express its disdain for consumerism lives of fetuses, Robert L. Dear mur- bankruptcy, Bush-backing Enron leave before the job is done.” a generous helping of pepper-spray. the Bush campaign’s state co-chair, niques—namely, torture. on Black Friday, removes all products ders three adults and wounds nine execs award themselves big bonuses. 1979—The U.S. admits troops in 1986—As Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese declares Dubya the winner. 2001—Gen. Tommy Franks, work- but one from its online store: a $6 box more as he shoots up a Planned Par- 1999—A WTO meeting in Seattle is ’Nam were hit by Agent Orange. confesses that profits from illegal arms 1977—Vrillon, from the Ashtar Ga- ing on catching Osama bin Laden, is of “literal feces, from an actual bull.” enthood clinic in Colorado. called off due to anarchists. 1976—Steven B. Williams rams a sales to Iran went to Nicaraguan con- lactic Command, hijacks a British TV told by Donald Rumsfeld to drop that 2005—Ex-Rep. Randy “Duke” Cun- 2011—Ex-Arapahoe County (Colo.) 1974—Rep. Wilbur Mills (D-Ark.) White House gate with his pickup tras, a reluctant Ronald Reagan fires transmitter to warn mankind: beware and revise plans to attack Iraq. ningham (R-Calif.) pleads guilty to Sheriff Patrick Sullivan, arrested for appears onstage at Boston’s Pilgrim truck at 25 mph. It doesn’t budge. Lt. Col. Oliver North. false prophets, reject evil weapons— 1997—In New York, a lampost fatal- selling votes and dodging taxes. exchanging methamphetamine for Theater with stripper Fanne Foxe. 1971—Toting $200,000 in ransom 1974—Britain outlaws the IRA after share in the great awakening. ly stabs Macy’s Barney the Dinosaur 1979—Relying on outdated naviga- sex with a male informant, is incarcer- 1972—Nixon spokesdrone Ron Zei- cash, “D.B. Cooper” parachutes from two bombs kill 21 and injure over 100 1975—George Gainous, son of a her- balloon. Meanwhile, the Cat in the tional data during a sightseeing flight ated in an eponymous jail. gler says with only 27,000 Americans a hijacked 727 over Washington State, in Birmingham. oin importer, climbs the White House Hat knocks over a lampost, which over Antarctica, Air New Zealand 1976—After Jerry Lee Lewis acci- left risking their lives in Vietnam, the into oblivion and America’s heart. 1968—Death of Upton Sinclair, writ- fence to ask for his father’s pardon. Ar- then falls on two women, putting one Flight 901 flies into Mount Erebus dentally plugs his bass player in the White House is done updating the 1965—The New York Times runs a full- er and media critic. rested 90 minutes later while chatting in a month-long coma. with 257 souls on board. chest twice with a .357 magnum, he’s nation on withdrawals. page ad signed by 500 WW II and 1955—The ICC bans racial segrega- with President Ford’s daughter Susan, 1969—At the 71st Evacuation Hos- 1950—Albert Pierrepoint, Britain’s charged with discharging a firearm 1965—Defense Secretary Robert Korean War vets protesting escalation tion in interstate bus transportation; he later says, “If [Ford] can pardon pital in Pleiku, 100 soldiers fast on official hangman as well as a pub own- within city limits. Strange McNamara offers LBJ two of the Vietnam War. the ban is ignored, though, until Free- Nixon he can pardon my father.” Thanksgiving to protest the war. er, hangs James “Tish” Corbitt, his 1963—LBJ sets up the Warren Com- Vietnam options: get out now, or 1963—Strip joint proprietor Jack dom Riders force the issue in 1961. 1973—Rose Mary Woods takes the 1965—The first Acid Test. former customer and drinking buddy. mission to rule out a conspiracy in the go all-in, suffering 1,000 KIAs per Ruby, to spare Jackie Kennedy’s feel- 1950—Great Appalachian Storm fall for the 18½ minute gap. 1952—Winnie Ruth Judd, the Trunk 1942—The Cocoanut Grove in Bos- assassination of John F. Kennedy. month and perhaps losing anyway. ings, shoots Lee Harvey Oswald un- winds hit 110 mph in Concord, N.H. 1933—Thomas H. Thurmond and Murderess, makes her sixth escape ton burns; 492 die, 172 are injured. 1960—On learning that, thanks to 1954—Failing to clear the summit der the watchful eye of the Dallas Po- 1947—For refusing to rat out their John M. Holmes are lynched in San from Arizona’s State Insane Hospital. 1936—Basil Zaharoff, the world’s the CIA, the Congo’s Patrice Lu- by 500 feet, a DC-3 crashes on N.H.’s lice Department and the TV cameras. friends to Congress, the Hollywood Jose, Calif. Jackie Coogan—“Uncle 1932—Edward Marshall, future fifth richest man, dies in bed at 87— mumba had been arrested, genial old Mount Success. All seven aboard sur- 1961—An overheated electric motor Ten are fired by studio bosses. Fester,” 30 years later—helps ready a beat poet, is born in Chichester, N.H. four times older than those who died Ike orders that agency to heighten its vive the crash, five survive two freez- in Colorado cuts off all communica- 1915—William J.Simmons burns a rope. Judge Timothy Fitzpatrick says 1900—To convince a Filipino town’s using the weapons he sold to all sides. efforts to assassinate Fidel Castro. ing nights at the crash site. tions between SAC and NORAD. flag at Stone Mountain, Ga., found- in his personal opinion, the mob “did a president he should rat out local rebels, 1895—Six cars compete in the U.S.’s 1947—French soldiers massacre over 1954—Liz Hodges of Sylacauga, Ala. 1953—Sen. Joe McCarthy (R-Wisc.) ing the new, improved Ku Klux Klan: damned good job.” Gov. “Sonny Jim” U.S. troops force salt water down his first auto race. Frank Duryea wins 300 civilians, mostly women and chil- is bruised by an eight-pound meteorite claims the Truman administration is it hates Catholics and Jews, too. Rolph vows to pardon anyone convict- throat and burn down his town. with an average speed of 7.3 m.p.h. dren, halving the population of My that busts through her roof. “crawling with Communists.” 1865—Mississippi creates the first ed, but no one is even charged. 1868—In the Battle of the Washita, 1858—The luxury yacht Wanderer, Trach, in Vietnam. 1951—Winnie Ruth Judd the Trunk 1947—All but 17 Congressmen vote Black Codes: legal restrictions nearly 1932—In his newspaper column, General George A. Custer and his sleek, fast, and refitted for a trade out- 1864—Ignoring a truce flag, Col. (& Murderess is recaptured after her to cite the Hollywood Ten for con- indistinguishable from slavery. Will Rogers mocks Herbert Hoover’s troops massacre Black Kettle and 102 lawed 50 years earlier, docks at Jekyll ex-minister) John Chivington leads a fourth escape from the Arizona State tempt after they take the 5th. 1783—Redcoats evacuate New York theory of “trickle-down economics.” other Cheyenne survivors of the Sand Island, Georgia. The 409 enslaved Colorado militia in the slaughter and Insane Hospital. 1922—Erskine Childers, a Brit sup- as General Washington and the victo- 1922—Howard Carter and his em- Creek Massacre. Africans who survived the passage are mutilation of 150 Cheyenne women, 1835—A “a hack writer,” in William porter of Irish independence charged rious Continental Army arrive. ployer Lord Carnarvon desecrate the 1729—The Natchez people repay the next-to-last such cargo to arrive. children, and old men at Sand Creek. Faulkner’s view, “who would not have with carrying a pistol, is executed 1120—King Henry’s only heir Wil- tomb of King Tutankhamun. decades of haughty brutality by mas- 1795—On George Washington’s A local paper says the soldiers had been considered fourth rate in Eu- while his case is on appeal. He says to liam Adelin sails for England aboard 1921—Former Lt. Col. Charles W. sacring 230 Frenchmen. Women and watch, the U.S. pays $800,000 to Tu- “covered themselves in glory” (a typo). rope,” is born: Samuel L. Clemens. his firing squad, “Take a step forward, the White Ship. The ship’s crew, drunk, Whittlesey, 37, commander of the enslaved Africans are spared. nisian pirates, with a promise to pay 1781—His slave ship Zong short of 1812—Gen. Alexander “Apocalypse” lads. It will be easier that way.” is told to make haste; hitting a rock, it “Lost Battalion” and a pallbearer for 1095—Pope Urban II launches the $25,000 a year in future. water, captain Luke Collingwood has Smythe’s troops disobey his orders to 1759—Tobias Smollet is convicted of capsizes. All drown but a butcher. En- the Unknown Soldier, leaps from a Crusades, promising salvation for 1545—Printer Jacob van Liesveld is 133 live slaves thrown overboard to invade Canada and turn their weap- libeling an admiral. gland is in chaos for decades. ship and drowns in the Atlantic. those who die slaying pagans. Jihad? beheaded for heresy in Antwerp. stick underwriters with the loss. ons on his tent. He flees. 8:46 9:18 9:37 10:11 10:25 11:01 11:12 11:50 11:58 12:39 12:45 1:27 1:32

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Sunday, December 1 Monday, December 2 Tuesday, December 3 Wednesday, December 4 Thursday, December 5 Friday, December 6 Saturday, December 7

2017—One-time Trump National 1986—Pres. Ronald Reagan says he 2013—In Londonderry, N.H., failed 2016—To free the fictitious child sex 2013—Scott Brown, in N.H., says 1973—Gerald R. Ford takes the place 2006—The “Justice” Department Security Advisor and ex-general Mi- can’t remember what he knew about Senate nominee Scott Brown says “I slaves of the Democrat Party, Edgar he’s been helping Republicans “raise of disgraced Vice President and free- fires eight prosecutors for failing to chael Flynn does the perp walk. Iran-Contra, or when he knew it. don’t think I ever said I was thinking Welch shoots up Comet Ping Pong awareness as to the issues … here in lance media critic Spiro “Ted” Agnew. persecute enough Democrats. 2007—Presidential candidate Rudy 1984—Union Carbide’s Bhopal, In- about running for president,” 16 weeks in Washington D.C. with a real gun. Massachusetts.” 1969—The Rolling Stones throw a 1997—Six skydivers leap from a plane Giuliani, at Federal Cigar in Ports- dia plant springs a leak. It’s a corpo- after telling the Boston Herald he was 2013—Rep. Duncan Hunter [R-Ca- 2002—At a party on Strom Thur- free concert at Altamont, Calif. Four over the South Pole. Three of them die mouth, refuses to autograph a New ration, though, so, no consequences— thinking about running for President. lif.] suggests the U.S. use tactical mond’s 100th birthday, GOP Senate people die and four are born. when their chutes fail to open. Hampshire Gazette for counterman other than up to 16,000 people dead. 2004—George W.[MD] Bush nomi- nukes against Iran’s nuclear program. Majority Leader Trent Lott expresses 1967—Chaplain Angelo “Charlie” 1995—France is virtually paralyzed Dave McNicholas, but agrees to sign 1980—U.S.-backed death squads nates Bernard Kerik (later to be known 1993—R.I.P. Frank Zappa. regret over desegregation. Liteky carries 23 wounded men to when 1.75 million workers protest a photo of himself—which he takes murder four nuns in El Salvador. as Federal Inmate 84888-054) to be 1982—Returning from a trip to Lat- 2001—A B-52, sent the wrong co-or- safety in Vietnam despite intense hos- global exploitation. with him when he leaves. 1964—Mario Savio tells a mob of Secretary of Homeland Security. in America, President Reagan says, dinates, bombs U.S. Special Forces in tile fire. For his bravery he is given the 1993—The Department of Energy 2003—Howard Dean, leading the thousands of Berkeley students, 1996—A New York company that “I learned a lot. You’d be surprised. Afghanistan, killing three. Medal of Honor, which he returns in admits it conducted more than 200 pack in polling, tells Chris Matthews “when the operation of the machine had a contract to manufacture Medals They’re all individual countries.” 1996—Fed Chair Greenspan warns: 1986 to protest U.S. foreign policy. secret weapons tests. he’ll “break up the giant media enter- becomes so odious … that you can’t of Honor is fined $80,000 for selling 1981—President Reagan OK’s CIA “irrational exuberance” may have in- 1957—Two months after Sputnik, a 1987—A disgruntled ex-employee prises;” giant media enterprises soon take part … you’ve got to make it stop.” 300 bootleg copies. spying on U.S. citizens. flated stock prices. Vanguard rocket carrying the U.S.’s shoots a Southwest Airlines pilot and label Dean “unelectable.” 1956—Granma lands 82 rebels in 1983—U.S. Information Agency 1979—French commandos “con- 1994—The House of Alleged Repre- first would-be satellite explodes at an co-pilot. The plane breaks up while 1969—The U.S. Selective Service Cuba. Only 12 make it to the Sierra head Charles Z. Wick says Margaret vert to Islam,” then help the Saudi sentatives elects Newt Gingrich the altitude of five feet. diving at Mach 1.2, killing all aboard. guts the anti-war movement by hold- Maestra. That was enough. Thatcher opposed the invasion of Gre- military drive rebels from Grand first Republican Speaker in 40 years. 1933—Federal judge John M. Wool- 1985—Despite warnings from Cap ing a draft lottery. 1954—The Senate votes to “condemn” nada because she’s a woman. Mosque. The indiscriminate kill- 1988—A Grand Jury in N.C. indicts sey rules that Joyce’s Ulysses is not ob- Weinberger and George Schultz that 1968—The Walker Commission Joe McCarthy. N.H. Senator Styles 1980—Secretary of State Al Haig ing by these infidels enrages Osama “holy” man Jim Bakker on charges of scene and therefore may be imported. it’s illegal, Ronald Reagan OKs sell- reports that the Chicago PD rioted Bridges is one of 22 “No” votes. says four Maryknoll nuns recently bin Laden; the CIA concludes the fraud and conspiracy. 1928—In Cienega, Colombia, sol- ing arms to Iran and giving the money during the Democratic Convention. 1949—At the Air Force’s request, GE murdered by Salvadoran death squads episode is not a sign of widespread 1965—An A-4 Skyhawk accidentally diers with machine guns open fire on to assassins in Central America. 1964—In J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI of- contractors at Hanford, Wash. turn may have been gun-runners. Islamic radicalism. rolls off the U.S.S. Ticonderoga near workers striking against United Fruit 1970—R.I.P. legendary cartoonist fice, purportedly for a reconciliation, off air filters for a test. Oops—they 1979—Eleven fans die during a stam- 1969—Chicago cops, aided by the Japan. Plane, pilot, and one-megaton Co. At least 47, and possibly several Rube Goldberg, whose work inspired the Director reveals information to release double the intended amount of pede to get seats for a Who concert in CIA, murder Black Panther security B43 are still missing. thousand, workers die. the Gazette’s business plan. Martin Luther King, Jr., demonstrat- radioactive iodine-131. Cincinnati. guard Mark Clark, then assassinate 1960—The Supreme Court rules that 1918—The U.S. War Department 1964—Japan bestows the Order of ing that he’s under illegal surveillance. 1946—Oakland, Calif. comes to a 1976—Bob Marley is shot twice by Fred Hampton, who’s been drugged. restaurants in interstate bus stations ceases shackling conscientious objec- the Rising Sun on Gen. Curtis Le- 1955—On a bus in Montgomery, Ala, halt as 100,000 workers go on a Gen- unidentified assailants. Two days later 1952—A “Great Smog” so thick can’t be segregated anymore. tors to the walls of solitary cells. May, whose fire-bombing of that Rosa Parks changes the world. eral Strike. Two days later Teamster he plays a concert. moviegoers couldn’t see the screen 1955—“Uppity Negroes” in Mont- 1917—The largest pre-A-Bomb ex- nation during WW II probably killed 1842—Secretary of War John C. boss Dave Beck sells them out. 1969—Protesters destroy files at eight descends on London. It lasts all winter gomery, Ala., boycott the municipal plosion occurs in Halifax when a mu- half a million Japanese. Spencer’s son Philip, 19, a midship- 1943—The U.S.S. Sailfish, formerly N.Y. draft boards. and kills about 12,000. mass transit system. nitions ship explodes: 1,600 die; and 1961—MPs hold civilians at Peterson man aboard the U.S.S. Somers, along the Squalus, sinks the Japanese carrier 1966—The AEC explodes a .38 kilo- 1950—In Feres v. U.S., the Supreme 1945—Five Grumman Avengers and windows break 40 miles away. Field, Colo. at gunpoint as Tibetan with two sailors, and without benefit Chuyo near Truk. Aboard Chuyo are ton A-bomb 10 miles west of Purvis, Court rules that servicemembers 14 airmen—the Navy’s Flight 19— 1915—The Supreme Court upholds a commandos, secretly trained by the of court martial, is hanged for mutiny. 21 survivors from the U.S.S. Sculpin, Miss., inside an underground cavity can’t sue the U.S. for injuries. disappear off Ft. Lauderdale. Thirteen federal law stripping women of their CIA, are smuggled aboard a C-124. 1777—Friedrich Wilhelm von Steu- which had aided in the 1939 rescue of created by a 5 kiloton A-bomb blast 1837—During a debate on wolf boun- more men and a Mariner flying boat citizenship if they marry “foreigners.” 1941—Japan attacks Pearl Harbor. ben lands in Portsmouth, N.H. from the Squalus; only one of them survives. conducted two years earlier. ties in the Arkansas House, Speaker disappear looking for them. 1907—More than 360 men and boys 1874—Whites in Vicksburg, Miss., France, en route to Valley Forge, where 1942—Enrico Fermi fires up the first 1964—600 police arrest 800 protest- John Wilson and Joseph Anthony 1894—Alabama repeals its child are killed by explosions at two coal upset by the election of a black sheriff, he will turn Washington’s rabble into sustainable atomic chain reaction un- ers in Berkeley; 900 faculty members fight with Bowie knives. Wilson is labor laws in a bid to entice a Massa- mines in Monongah, W.Va. begin a month-long slaughter of 150- a trained army. der a Chicago football stadium. call for amnesty. later acquitted of murder. chusetts textile corporation. It works. 342—RIP Saint Nick. 300 blacks. 2:16 2:22 3:09 3:15 4:03 4:12 5:00 5:12 5:56 6:12 6:49 7:08 7:37 8:00

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