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What Would Jesus Do About Domestic Violence and Abuse Towards Christian Women

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What Would Jesus Do About Domestic Violence and Abuse Towards Christian Women A biblically-based book that researched Jesus' life as one who experienced violence and abuse both personally and otherwise. It shows Christians and others how to address domestic violence and abuse like Jesus did by listing dozens of abuses which Jesus experienced, by identifying specific things Jesus did in abusive or violent situations, and by featuring 77 cases in which Jesus demonstrated specific behaviors in response to abuse and violence related to both victims and abusers. What Would Jesus Do about Domestic Violence and Abuse Towards Christian Women Buy The Complete Version of This Book at Booklocker.com: http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/5115.html?s=pdf YOUR FREE EXCERPT APPEARS BELOW. ENJOY! W hat ow many times have you been involved in a messy situation and wondered what JESUS would do if W HHe were in your place? More specifically, how ould JESUS would react if that messy situation was domestic violence and abuse. How would JESUS respond if He were a victim of abuse or if He were a pastor faced with an J abuser or a victim? This book: esus • Lists dozens of abuses which JESUS experienced, and which the Christian victim of domestic D violence and abuse experiences today. o • Identifies 26 specific things that JESUS did in about abuse situations. • Features 77 cases in which JESUS demonstrated specific behaviors in response to abuse and Violence Domestic and Abuse violence related to both victims and abusers. Christian Women Toward • Cites hundreds of scriptural references with contextual and critical explanations or interpreta- tion of parts that help us to better understand JESUS’ actions. This is a book which gives hope as well as some very surprising answers that are guaranteed to burst the religious bubble of many professing Christians. Dr. Chloe is the founder of Back to the Bible Counseling Center in Essex, Maryland. The trajectory of her life from being a victim of domestic abuse in a “Christian” marriage to being a leader in the Christian community is nothing Chloe Cummings, Dr. less than remarkable. Her bubbly personality and refreshing approach to teaching the Bible calls Christians back to believing in the sovereignty of God’s Word and its application in meeting the emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs of their modern lives. She’s often invited to speak life and hope from the Scripture into the hearts of Christians near and far. Dr. Chloe has two children, Sarah and Elijah, and to date, one grandson, Benjamin. D.B.S. Cover images: ©Otnaydur_Dreamstime.com(woman); ©Rebecca Photography _Shutterstock.com(church); Dr. Chloe Cummings, D.B.S. ©Gina Smith_Shutterstock.com(stained glass) ii Copyright© 2010 Chloe Patricia Forbes Cummings ISBN: 978-1-60910-492-4 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author; though references to small portions of work can be made along with full credit to author and publisher without written permission. Edited by Helena Kaufman and Chloe Cummings Publisher: Booklocker.com, Inc. Cover pictures courtesy of Shutterstock Cover design by Todd Engel Author’s Photo by Juan O’Neal w iii Scripture Quotations Scripture quotations marked “KJV” are taken from the King James Version. Copyright is the public domain. Scripture quotations marked "NKJV™" are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society®. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. [Scripture quotations marked CEV are taken from the] Contemporary English Version® Copyright © 1995 American Bible Society. All rights reserved. www.backtothebiblecounseling.com v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS “Thank You God for turning the manure in my life into fertilizer. Thank You that this fertilizer which has been a source of growth to me and to so many others. It’s reaped a bumper crop, and this book is one result of the bountiful harvest which You have brought about in my life.” Thank you to my Aunt Anadia, who professes not to know grammatically, what is right, but who can always tell when something is wrong, and who used her honing senses to slowly- but with a caring heart, read over half of the book with highlighter in hand, and zapped many of my errors…and she proved that she was right. Thanks to my book coach, Dr. Joel Orr for giving me so much knowledge and guidance which saved me hours of work, stress, frustration, and kept me on the right path. Thanks to Yolanda Rose who devoted two days to help proof- read the manuscript. Thanks to my “Hip and Heart” friend Marlene O’Sullivan who is a constant source of encouragement to me and to all who are privileged to know her. Thank you to Pastor Larry Miller and my dear church family who modeled in so many ways what Jesus would really do, and who created an environment so that former victims like me can flourish. Finally, thanks to my dear mother Osra Forbes, who was someone who truly loved me; she was a saint, and someone www.backtothebiblecounseling.com vi Chloe Cummings D.B.S. whose prayers I am still benefiting from - even though she has been gone for many years. www.wwjdaboutdomesticviolence.com This book is dedicated to_______________________ (Your Name Here), the precious woman of God, who is a true Saint by virtue of the blood, shed by Jesus Christ; a bride who has been despised by man but honored, cherished, cared for, and loved by God. A woman whom JESUS has chosen as HIS Bride for His very own self! viii “For I have given you an example that you should do as I have done to you. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” (Jesus) John 13:15, 17 NKJV w ix Table of Contents AUTHOR’S NOTE TO READER ............................................................. XI DEFINITION OF TERMS ....................................................................... XIII WWJD QUICK REFERENCE GUIDE ................................................... XXI PREFACE ............................................................................................ XXV PART I: IDENTIFYING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE AMONG CHRISTIANS ......................................................................... 1 CHAPTER 1: EXPOSING THE SECRET ..................................................... 3 PART II: THE CHURCH AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE ............................................................................................... 13 CHAPTER 2: A HISTORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE AMONG GOD’S PEOPLE ................................................................................. 15 CHAPTER 3: KEEPING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE IN THE DARK .. 27 CHAPTER 4: THE HIGH PRICE OF NON-INVOLVEMENT - THE COST OF SAVING A SOUL ................................................................................ 45 CHAPTER 5: BECOMING MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT THE ISSUES ... 51 CHAPTER 6: TEACHING THE “NEW MAN IN CHRIST” THE NEW RULES .... 58 CHAPTER 7: THE CHURCH’S TEACHING ON WIFELY SUBMISSION .......... 66 PART III: THE CHURCH AND THE VICTIM .......................................... 75 CHAPTER 8: THE CHURCH BEING JESUS TO THE VICTIM ...................... 77 CHAPTER 9: RESPONDING TO THE VICTIM WITHOUT CONDEMNATION ... 88 CHAPTER 10: SAFETY OF THE VICTIM - THE ISSUE OF LEAVING HER ABUSIVE HUSBAND ........................................................................... 92 CHAPTER 11: THE CHURCH AS THE PRIMARY SOURCE OF HELP ........ 102 www.backtothebiblecounseling.com x Chloe Cummings D.B.S. PART IV: THE CHURCH AND THE ABUSER ..................................... 111 CHAPTER 12: A PICTURE OF THE ABUSER - A MATTER OF THE HEART ........................................................................................... 113 CHAPTER 13: THE CHAMELEON-LIKE CHARACTER OF THE ABUSER .... 120 CHAPTER 14: GRACE: FORGIVENESS, REPENTANCE, AND REFORM OF THE ABUSER .................................................................................. 136 CHAPTER 15: COUNSELING THE ABUSER BY USING THE BIBLICAL APPROACH .................................................................................... 152 PART IV: THE CHURCH FOLLOWING JESUS’ EXAMPLE ............... 165 CHAPTER 16: CHANGED LIVES - FROM DESTROYER TO RESTORER.... 167 CHAPTER 17: JESUS IN ACTION WITHIN THE CHURCH ........................ 172 EPILOGUE: A NEW LIFE - AN INTRODUCTION TO JESUS ............. 183 REFERENCE & NOTES ....................................................................... 209 www.wwjdaboutdomesticviolence.com xi Author’s Note to Reader I have long been frustrated with the Church’s proclivity to be “tolerant” of sin among its members; mainly because I was a victim of abuse which was served to me in the name of religion and it was knowingly ignored by particular Christians in my personal life like former pastors, my relatives, and some close Christian friends. I was married to a modern day Pharisee for over 20 years and the wrath of the law channeled through
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